#mike is last and doesn't really get it but tries his best (el max and robin all gave him separate shovel talks)

[ymdslf]

nonbinary steve who reads about being trans in a random zine in a tiny queer bookshop robin dragged him into and now he's having a full on gender identity crisis, because he's a boy, right? obviously he is. he's not a girl. when he asks robin how she knows she's a girl she just shrugs and tells him "i dunno dude, i just do" which really isn't helping, so now he's just reading every. single. thing he can about the topic.

and when he takes robin to a gay club, to get her a girl already because he can't take one more day of her lesbian yearning, he loves her but one more "her eyes were like the moon, steve. like the moon!", he will jump out of a moving car. and there, nursing a beer at bar, he meets someone; this super hot dude. or girl? a very attractive person. and they ask him his pronouns, and he tells them "just the regular boy ones" and they laugh and tell him theirs, and that's the first genderqueer person he conciously meets. and they're talking, and drinking, and then steve is slightly tipsy and then he's asking "how'd y'know?" and then the person has that same soft look, the same soft spoken "oh" that he had when robin came out to him. and they tell him, and now steve's crying and this stranger is holding them, because wow. there it is. this something that just feels right.

and a week later, they just breaks down on a bathroom floor, in the cubicle next to robin. and they're sobbing, and in tears they tells her, because they can't not tell her, but also they're terrified of her rejecting them. but she crawls over the wall separating the two of them, falling down and somehow managing to land on her feet. and she hugs them, and tells them that it's alright. she'll always be there for them. she'll punch everyone who's an asshole about it. she asks if steve still wants to be called he and they tell her they have no idea, but maybe she could say they instead? and she says that she'll absolutely do that, and now they're both crying and hugging, sitting on a dirty bathroom floor.

[love-byers]

the first time i saw this, when i was NOT a byler shipper, i thought el was running TO mike. i thought we were getting a sweet moment where el runs to mike and he puts an arm around her or hugs her.

then i realized she was running away from him. 

and i was like, why?? they're supposed to be the couple why does she not want his comfort??

and even after will calls her out on doing mike wrong by lying to him, even after she sees that mike is attempting to talk to her and comfort her, that he's not angry at her, she still tells angela to lie to mike. more lies. that's how much she cares about keeping up the persona. had angela lied to mike, el would've continued lying to him the entire week. something she knows in her heart is wrong and not fair to mike.

this is a theme in s4. putting who you want to be seen as before being honest with your bf/gf. going above and beyond to preserve your lie, to be seen as who you want to be.

chrissy does that with jason. who she portrays herself as is completely different than who she really is and what she's really going through. jason has absolutely no idea chrissy is struggling and refused to believe chrissy would buy drugs, because chrissy didn't want to tell him. who knows how jason would've reacted if chrissy was honest, we don't know because chrissy didn't trust him enough to tell him. that's not love at all, that's sad.

this is a point in s2 as well. murray calls nancy out for being afraid to be her true self, and she stays with steve because she doesn't have to be her true self around him. she is her true self when she's with jonathan, and that's why they worked together. that's love.

the exact same thing happens with chrissy. the first time we see her genuinely smile is when she's with eddie. she's sweet and charismatic, and had she lived she totally would've gone to eddie's show, something you never would've expected from her, something her boyfriend, the person she pretends to love, would NEVER do.

robin and steve reinforce this too

you fall in love with the person who makes you feel accepted, the person who makes you feel like you can be who you are. the person you trust with your true self.

mike and el don't trust each other enough, they don't understand each other well enough.

they would have to change their behavior towards each other by leaps and bounds, and we're already at the last season. there is no time for that. stranger things isn't a multi season show about the complexity of romantic relationships and the healthy way to resolve problems. there is no time for that in just about any movie or show, especially a sci-fi show. you know what's way easier and way more likable? pairing your character with someone they naturally click with, who bring out the best in each other and for some reason can't help but be their authentic selves when they're with each other.

did it with jancy, like i said earlier

did it with lumax. when lucas and max talked on the bus max found herself spewing about things she'd never even said out loud before, and she had to stop herself. something about lucas just made her feel comfortable, like she could be herself and tell the truth. she trusted him.

"You're nothing like your brother, okay? You're cool and different, you're super smart, and you're like, totally tubular."

jopper too! joyce constantly had to hide things from bob, she was insecure about their family not being normal.

"This is not a normal family."

"It could be."

though bob had good intentions, the message of the show is not trying to be normal when you aren't. whatever it is about you that makes you weird or different, whatever you've been through that changed you, stay true to it. dont bottle it up and try to be someone else. all of vecnas victims in s4 were doing this, and it didn't end well for them.

they even did it with dustin and suzie. dustin constantly tries to impress max with his teeth, then in season 3 he says suzie thinks kissing is better without teeth. he doesn't have to be insecure about that or try to impress her. she likes him for him.

mike isn't comfortable being his true self around el either. he's insecure about his interests, he feels like he has to act older and cooler to impress her.

you shouldn't be with the person you feel you have to impress. you should be with the person who relieves that pressure, who makes you feel like being the authentic you is enough.

jonathan and nancy, lucas and max, joyce and hopper, dustin and suzie,

cough WILL AND MIKE cough...

[thefirstlioveyou]

i hate when mike's "romantic love" for el is adored and romanticized when it's really the most anxious and unhealthy form of attachment, but his healthy and secure love for will is just seen as platonic

mike with el:

"i'm scared one day you won't need me anymore."

"but what if she doesn't need me anymore?"

"i can't lose you."

"i can't lose you again."

"i don't know how to live without you." (this is devastating.)

given the circumstances mike was put with with el in s1, his statements of love is more of rooted from trauma rather than actual romantic love. he's constantly afraid of losing her the same way he did in the last episode of s1, especially since he blames himself for it for the way he treated her.

he also feels a sense of self worth from the concept of being with a girl - a girl as cool and superhero-like as el that.... but not because it's EL. that's the problem. this sense of worth comes from being NEEDED, and el NEEDED mike to protect her (at the time of s1). THAT'S what he takes interest about their relationship. mike can't even mention one thing he likes about her that isn't about her powers in his monologue. he can't even tell will one thing when he was venting.

even acknowledged by shawn levy, the duffers and finn, mike simply feels a sense of worth when he's helping/saving someone - that's not necessarily romantic because....

and then we have el's side of this. el had fallen into the same pattern as she did in the lab when it comes to needing someone to rely on. she loses her own self-worth when she's with mike, unable to really identify herself. her "romantic love" for mike roots in a very traumatic place. she didn't even consider him in that way before he kissed her. she saw him as a caregiver (and possible family) - this is why she clings so tightly to him, it's reminiscent of her trauma in that sense. but in s3 and s4, she realizes who she is without mike (or feeling controlled by a relationship)

el's whole arc is not needing to rely on someone anymore, which is contradictory to what mike wants. the puzzle pieces aren't fitting with them!!

mike with will:

"max, dustin, lucas - they're great but they're not you."

"i asked if you wanted to be my friends ... it was the best thing i ever did."

"if anyone knows how to defeat this thing, it's will." (mike trusts will even in a dangerous situation, whereas in s3 he's more anxious for el, despite losing them both before. why? because he felt a sense of responsibility for el, not will.)

"if we both go crazy, we'll go crazy together."

"i didn't say it." "you didn't have to."

what he tells will is often more positive, and never putting himself or others down in the process. there's more trust and security.

"but what about s2? wasn't he scared to lose him?" but he never felt loss of control that season. he never held him back from anything and even insisted on things that could've been dangerous, but there was trust. even comparing his monologue in s2 vs s4, there is a sense of calmness and confidence in his words. he doesn't blabber and just keeps his words short and to the point. there isn't dramatic music build up to intensify the scene. it's intimate and genuine, not a performance.

the whole "you didn't have to" part is SOO underrated. it just proves more of what i'm saying! mike is more secure with will and they simply just get one another, whereas mike and el do not!

he also still acknowledges his other friends and how valuable they are to him, while saying will is different to him. (AND this can be backed up, unlike the s4 monologue. we can see throughout the entire show that this is true, will stands out amongst the rest of his friends to him). one of the big problems mike had in s3 was forgetting friendships and his values for the sake of having a girlfriend.

it's also evidently clear how mike acts with el vs will is very different. mike never brings up his interests with el and instead tries to play cool, tries extra hard to be funny and impress her. (pizza box glasses, the horrendous airport fit, "i like- i like presents too," his weird talking/responding patterns with el at the airport/roller rink)

but the actual mike is nerdy. he's part of the av club. he's into science projects. he's into dnd. he's into figures. literally the moment mike tried showing her his figures she did NOT gaf LMAOO (i understand her priorities lied else where but still, it's a showcase of her lack of interest in mike's hobbies). but will knows these things and takes interest in all of them. will KNOWS mike more than el does.. of course he does, they've known each other since they were 5. you're lying to yourself if you believe mike and el know each other more - they don't even know themselves with each other.

and before i end this, i wanna add this one thing:

"but, if mike and el is platonic even if mike was protective, doesn't this mean that s2 byler was platonic too?" the act of caring for someone is what's platonic. there isn't anything necessarily romantic about it, that's true. but byler is more than just what happened in s1 or s2. byler's love doesn't root from their trauma with all that's going on. mike doesn't feel this connection to will because he went missing - it's love that's grown over time even before they encountered the upside down.

byler isn't real because mike cares about will's life. byler is real because mike separates his relationship with will from his friends, his intimate eye contact, his physical contact, his gentleness, his attentive behavior to will's own behavior/absence, him literally thinking meeting will was the best thing he's ever done.

and mike is still needed by someone the way he wants. will needs him, and not for any reasons related to trauma... simply because will sees the good in mike and who he really is as a person and as a whole. mike brings the best out of will and inspires him.

their love starts from simply knowing and getting each other, whereas mike and el's only begins from unhealthy attachment and trauma on either side. THAT'S the difference. it's nothing more than mike needing to save someone.

anyway i just wanted to point out what i noticed between his dialogue w each person! it's very tough seeing what he says to el viewed as peak romance by certain people, watching his trauma being overlooked for the sake another heterosexual romance. but when he showcases actual secure behavior with another person that happens to be a gay character, they're just friends... not gay at all.

[qstarhalo]

Qsmp tierlist from q!Bads perspective!

[Note: Bad didn't fully explain for some of them and I might've missed some notes]

Super Stinky Egg:

★ Richas - (Originally was in S+ but.)

★ Bad - (Originally F tier since q!Bad feels like he's a bad parent because he didn't do a good job on protecting the kids and basically lost everyone in the end. "All of his kids either left or died or were re-frozen or something. All of his friends either left or died". If it went by Bad's own ending, q!Bad would feel a bit more happier about himself)

★ Cucurucho

S+:

★ Dapper

★ Pomme

★ 'Lullah

★ Chayanne

★ Ramon

★ Leo

★ Chunsik

★ Pepito

★ Bobby

★ Empanada

★ Sunny

S:

★ Foolish - Rivals that can't be separated

★ Aypierre - Always got along and had "Stonks (?) and Muffins"

★ YD - Got along with her greatly!!

★ Baghera - An amazing friend and was one of the only people he let adopt Dapper which speaks for itself

★ Max - q!Bad felt really sympathetic towards him because of the loss of Trump(et) and got along with him really well early on. He felt like he could trust him and Dapper got along with Max as well

★ Tubbo - "My coach!!" Got along with Tubbo really well. Only time he felt slightly negative towards Tubbo was because of the chunk but overall, that's his coach

★ Mike - Got along with him, especially more later on, and had fun pranking with him. Felt really close with him more near the end as well

★ Bagi - Felt really close with her and got along with her very well! She was really nice to q!Bad and was really fun to prank!

★ Tina - q!Bad felt like he could trust her, especially when he was really distrusting of other people, and loved pranking her. Got along with her as well and felt like he needed to take care of her.

★ Roier - Great parent for Bobby and Pepito. q!Bad felt a lot of empathy towards him

★ Jaiden

★ Philza - Viewed him as a really good father and liked pranking him

★ Boo - Resident Ghost, felt safe to have around and was fun to hangout with them <3

★ Trump(et) - His death felt more tragic to q!Bad. Was also given a flower and got to spend a little bit more time with him in El Dia de Los Muertos event

★ Ron - Got along with him and became attached to him. Felt like a hostage but also like a kid

A:

★ Fit - Got along with Fit really early on, especially since they were like parents of two (chaotic) kids! And Dapper liked him a lot!

★ Pac - q!Bad felt really bonded with many of the Soulfire members, including Pac

★ Cellbit - A complicated character. Near the end, q!Bad didn't know if he could trust him since he saw his own sanity in q!Cellbit and he doesn't like seeing those aspects of himself.

★ Etoiles - Got along really well and was a really good rival. Was more cautious when the code stuff appeared on Etoiles' arm but overall, q!Bad finds him as a nice guy. Plus, one of Pomme's parents

★ Missa - He really liked Missa and got along with him! Never felt like he had a bad experience with him. Bad viewed their last moment and overall interactions as playful!

★ Felps

★ Antoine - Only ever had good interactions with him and he took good care of Pomme and Dapper

★ Spider-Pepito

★ Ollie - Got along with Ollie despite feeling sketchy about the bunny's. Kept q!Bad company when the kids were gone

★ Coco

★ Trousers

★ Caramel

★ Mouse - She was a big wild card since Bad tried to stay in undercover but he did get along with her!

★ DanSir

★ Tilín - Got taken away before he got too attached to them but does feel bad since he could've saved them

★ Niki - Got counseling from her and got along with her ^^ Plus, she was on Soulfire

★ JuanaFlippa - Was taken away way before q!Bad could get too attached with her. Didn't interact with her that much either

★ Pol - Had really good interactions with him and was fun to prank

★ Luffy - Felt really positive towards them but not quite on the same level as the others

★ Doctovo - Got along with him and was q!Bad's best doctor. And he broke q!Bad out of jail.

★ Gegg - Neutral about him. A but goopy though

★ Biden

★ Vegetta - Gave q!Bad his first backpack but did place mines everywhere. Got along with him but gosh, did q!Vegetta love his mines.

★ Walter Bob

★ Firusflais

★ Luism

B:

★ Acau (?)

★ WillyRex - Didn't know him much but his experience with him was fairly positive and took care of Dapper that one time ^^

★ Carre - Pretty positive interactions when they did ever cross paths

★ Mariana - Positive interactions, especially their first time meeting

★ Casper

★ Pebbles

★ Rayna (?)

★ Abuelito

★ Smokey

★ Senhora Niede

★ Elsangela

★ Snipybara

★ Panselito (?)

★ Luzu - Fairly positive interactions but then again, barely interacted with him. Dapper got along with him so there's that.

★ Dullabara - Gave us the pumpkin head and helped name the them! <3

★ Romero Richas - q!Bad didn't have an understanding of the alter ego but he had experience with the paintings and liked them. "Hey this guy makes good paintings" was basically his thoughts. Didn't get bad experiences with him.

★ Leos Dogs - Found them funny ^^

★ Alexandre

★ Fred - Wasn't a big fan but Fred did visit his house willingly and they got along well

★ Ghost/Admin Bloopers

★ Slimecicle - Didn't feel like he was not a good parent and Slime tried to kill Dapper, but did move past it a bit. Slight positive towards him.

C:

★ Sophia - Neutral but slightly positive. "How do you feel about a calculator?"

★ Arin - Didn't interact much but q!Bad feels neutral about him

★ Richard (first day Richas)

★ Barriguinha Mole - Didn't interact with them much

★ Lenay - Didn't interact much so q!Bad is neutral when it comes to her

★ Quackity - q!Bad felt sympathetic about him because he saw a lot of himself in him. They did butt heads a lot and he stole from Ramon's corpse and did try to kidnap 'Lullah and threatened to kill Chayanne but q!Bad did feel bad for him. He's just a really complicated character to q!Bad. Some days, he'd be on A tier and some days, he'd be on F tier.

★ Iv Stand - q!Bad doesn't like anything related to medicine so he feels pretty negative about them. Only interacted with them on bad days. "Felt like the Grim Reaper"

★ Rubius - Mostly interacted with the angel version. q!Bad was really worried about him due to being powerful but he did give Dapper some nice stuff

★ Rivers - Didn't interact much with her but she was on Soulfire

★ Germen

★ Hugo - Didn't get to interact with but he was really nice ^^

★ Moon

★ Mr. Mustard - q!Bad got shot by them.

★ xXCapybaraGamingEPIC1337Xx

★ Rango

★ Elena - q!Bad didn't interact with her much so he's indifferent about her

★ Codeflippa - q!Bad doesn't like the Code

★ Pescados - Tolerable. Glub glub.

★ The Bunny Guy - Part of the Feds but didn't really see him much

D:

★ José - Everytime José showed up, q!Bad would immediately be put in debt. Never brought good news to q!Bad and never looked forward to seeing him

★ Agent 18 - Helped with Dapper but he was a bit of a gremlin. Not that disliked compared to others

★ Donnie

★ Spreen - Did NOT get along with him but did make amends (?)

★ Sipi - Didn't despise them as much

★ Ratoier

★ Ratakity - Got shot by him in Purgatory and got attacked by the rat when helping Missa. However, being shot by a gun doesn't mean there isn't a possibility for friendship in his eyes

★ Nacho - Not a fan of the egg. He stole from him and killed him. Just negativity upon negativity. He's an egg but he's a monster egg. "But being mad at Nacho for being Nacho is like being mad at a tornado for being a tornado" q!Bad wasn't fond of Nacho but viewed him as a natural disaster. "Like can you be mad at a baby for doing stupid baby stuff?". And Nacho didn't make his kids miserable, only ever did annoying little things towards Bad

★ Grinchas - Made his life a nightmare

★ Duck manager - Kind of was just there but was the reason everyone was trapped on the Island

F:

★ Eyeball Workers - Worse then Bobinho

★ Bobinho - q!Bad murdered him ^^ "Die in a hole" is how he felt about them ^^

★ ElQuackity - Wasn't trusting of him and killed him twice. And ElQuackity kidnapped Dapper.

★ The Watcher - Viewed with hatred since he was responsible for taking away his kids and caused many problems. HOWEVER when q!Bad thinks about that fanfic.... (He was being silly)

THE WORST:

★ Code Monster - Hates it so much.

Absent:

★ DanTDM - Was playing hide and seek and just never found him

★ Skeppy - (Originally in S+ tier)

★ Kameto - "We'll find him some day"

Don't Know Enough to Rate:

★ Bertie

★ Manzana (apparently drunk Pomme?)

★ Maximiliano

★ Jungryeok (?)

★ Dave

★ Ze Caveira

★ BimBamBoris

★ Ged

★ Mr. 24

★ Emolyson

★ Seu Madruga

★ Mr. Bubbles

★ Rupert

★ Agent 40

★ Tango

★ Cider

★ Kong (?)

★ Funny

★ Mike Wazoski

★ Lapin

★ Madagio

★ Pelxe

★ Worker 31

★ Tomato (Pomme?)

★ Hope

★ Jose (Fed worker)

★ Dark Cucurucho (I can't remember how to spell the name)

★ Slimeson

★ Spider-Women

★ Scoob

★ Egg A1

[lesbianrobin]

how st characters would run the mile

mike starts out sprinting but he gives up on that after about twenty seconds. then he alternates between the world's most pathetic little jog and walking. he acts like he's just not trying but he absolutely is trying and whenever he stops jogging and walks it's because he cannot keep running or he'll die. he finishes last and collapses on the track and contemplates breaking his own ankle on purpose the next time they have to run the mile.

dustin mostly jogs it and he finishes somewhere in the back of the pack but he's not last. although if mike is struggling enough he'll hang back and walk with him in solidarity. he doesn't really care about his time or anything as long as he gets his participation points.

lucas gives it his all and properly runs because he really wants to beat his previous mile time. he finishes just under five minutes and then he chills out on the bleachers and claps and whoops whenever anyone else finishes.

will runs until he doesn't feel like it anymore and then he just jogs until he gets bored and then he runs again. he finishes somewhere in the middle of the pack and sits with lucas to cheer when other people finish except while lucas cheers for everyone, will only cheers for people he likes.

max walks the mile. she could run if she wanted to and she could probably finish somewhere in the five to six minute range but she refuses to run around in circles for some gym teacher. she still finishes before mike.

el runs her first lap and then she gets bored and lonely so whenever she comes up on max she just stops running and walks the rest of the mile with her. they have a great time. once again they both finish before mike. el cheers for him when he's done.

erica does not run the mile. she and her friends hide out under the bleachers if they can or walk the mile and talk shit about people if they can't.

argyle obviously walks the mile and hangs out with all of the gays and goths who are also walking the mile and they talk about life and love and different strains of weed. he loves it he's just hanging out.

jonathan walks the mile. in freshman year he actually kinda tried but he heard some of the jocks laughing as he jogged past them on the bleachers and so he decided to simply never try again because it was too embarrassing so he's walked ever since. they weren't even actually laughing at him they were having an entirely unrelated conversation but jonathan does not know that and refuses to run in public unless it's for his life.

steve runs the mile like he is trying to qualify for the olympics. he is always among the first five people to finish and he is always aiming to beat his last time. everybody thinks he's such an asshole showoff but after class he gives some of the slower kids tips on how to build their stamina and tells them they did a great job and nobody's ever sure if he's being sincere or if it's a bullying tactic. it isn't a bullying tactic he just genuinely wants to help people run better.

robin does her best to run the mile but by the time she's halfway through she's just out of breath and exhausted and gives up on the whole running thing and walks the rest of the way. she finishes in the back of the pack but she's okay with it because she knows she could have done better if she really tried.

nancy runs most of the mile with brief walking breaks when needed. she's among the fastest girls in school and she finishes near the front of the pack every time. she acts like she doesn't care about her mile time but one year some girl she hates beats it by six seconds and nancy genuinely wants to kill her for a moment. besides that she actually kind of likes running the mile because she beats out a lot of the guys and it makes her feel like a god.

eddie has never attended a gym class in his life.

[bylertruther]

byclair boyfriendisms:

whenever lucas is in a little argument with someone he goes "well, will agrees with me so it doesn't matter. right, will? 😌" and will, who isn't part of this conversation at all but overheard that last part, automatically goes "right! :)" before going back to his own thing (mike and dustin both hate this)

whenever they're trekking through the woods for whatever reason, lucas picks up a pine cone or a cool stone and will picks up a large stick tht he pretends is a wizard staff. they wordlessly switch back n forth, even if they're not walking together.

will doesn't exactly Like running even if he is good at it, but he wants to keep spending time with his bf ("can't get enough of me, huh? 😏" / "shut up 🙄") so he goes on runs with him anyway :3

will wears lucas's letterman and lucas wears will's flannels

their goodbye hugs are always super long and on the off chance that they're not taking the other home, the party has come to accept that they'll take five years to finally say goodbye even if they're literally going to see each other tomorrow anyway

will designs a really big banner for lucas's games tht he holds up with el and max's help!!! he even paints his number on his cheek :') (au where lucas joins the team to explore a new interest n it all works out n nothing is awful)

whenever will is having an off day, lucas tries to just Be There with him and do things that he enjoys. he lets him know that he's there, that he cares, and he can always talk to him even if he feels like he can't. in turn, will tries his best to let lucas know that he doesn't have to be anyone other than himself to be worthy, supports his varying interests, and generally just backs him up.

they play games at the arcade under the same name bc they're joining forces to defeat max and dustin's high scores 😤🙏 (they are not successful in their efforts, but that doesn't stop them from trying)

[c-is-for-circinate]

Ok so regarding the stranger things extended universe, i definitely want to know more about nancy and her storyline, like does this become her career ? investigating government conspiracies? And how does she feel about it? About not living a more peaceful life after everything?

After something like Hawkins, there are three ways to go if you want to keep sane, Nancy thinks. Or, well. As sane as any of them are, now.

Some of them went out into the world ready to grab life and joy with both hands and all their teeth, the memory of how close death came to devouring them enough to spur them on to devour life right back. (Eddie's playing Boston next week, wants to know if she'll go to his show; Max and El, last Nancy heard, are learning to surf.) Some of them went out into the world still full of combat reflexes they didn't mean to keep and tripped into a new fight, a slower quieter more mundane one. (She saw the photos Jonathan took last time he visited Steve and Robin in Chicago, the protests last month, the signs, the flags.) And some of them...well. Some of them left the lessons of Hawkins a little less behind than that.

They won in Hawkins, inasmuch as burned-out buildings and the town memorials and the deep scars cutting through a still-damaged downtown count as winning. That battle's fought and won and done. But Nancy hasn't forgotten who started it, and it wasn't Henry Creel.

(She'll argue with Dustin about it, over a mountain of fried shrimp and a pitcher of beer he's somehow old enough to legally buy, because Dustin's always cared more about the how than the why. He thinks the important lesson of Hawkins is that the laws of physics known by everybody across the global scientific community are wrong. They spend an hour and a half going back and forth about Oppenheimer and Eisenhower, Regan and Brezhnev and Martin Brenner, because one of the only differences between Vecna and a nuclear bomb is still the fact that nobody thinks Vecna could exist, but Dustin is wrong about why that's important.)

Science can do a thousand things nobody thinks it can do. Science can split an atom. Science can split dimensions. It doesn't matter why it's possible; it doesn't even really matter what's possible, beyond the fact that massive governments with thousands of soldiers and billions of dollars can always kill when they want to. Whether it's a bomb or a child experiment or a gas leak.

What matters, every time, is that people are dead. What matters is that the public needs to know.

Nancy makes her name in college breaking a story about illegal sewage dumping near a residential neighborhood before the Boston Globe even has it. She gets a professor fired for plagiarism. She almost gets expelled for libel when she tries to run a story about date rape on campus. (She almost gets caught slashing tires, after that one, but she learned from the best. Erica Sinclair taught her plenty about stealth, and Murray's been trying to drive in the idea of patience since the first time they met.)

It's not about monsters, it was never about monsters. There aren't any more monsters, Nancy thinks. (She keeps a licensed handgun in a shoebox in her apartment, because she ran out of ammo for the Makarov years ago, because monsters aren't the only things that like to threaten too-curious reporters in the middle of the night, and because you never know.) It's always been about the people the monsters destroy.

Nobody will ever believe the story of what destroyed Hawkins, probably. (Maybe someday they'll declassify. Nancy has a four-hundred-page memoir under lock and key in the safe where she doesn't store her gun, if the world ever gets there. Maybe she'll just pass it down to Mike's grandchildren.) But people know now that it was Hawkins National Lab. That some kind of government weapons research, right there on Indiana soil, broke a small town in half. That's something.

Nancy graduates college and interns anywhere she can get a foot in the door. The Globe. The Times. The Washington Post. The Post, finally, sticks. There's an editor there who loves to give new reporters just enough slack in their leashes to hang themselves with, so they can fill the back of the paper with issue-selling scandal and then have somebody to fire if the wrong person in power gets upset. Nancy does three months of research, jotting off puff pieces and human interest stories about charity work and bills with no opposition, quietly filling up file folders of photos and receipts and evidence that nobody can prove she didn't obtain legally. Her first headline runs on a Tuesday morning and gets a White House senior staffer fired by Thursday afternoon.

It could have gotten her clearing out her desk by the end of Friday, but Nancy was careful. Nancy was smart. It chafes from the inside out, like a blister on her soul, but she knows all about water it down. She could've implicated a dozen elected officials in this, and ten of them would have skated right by with no trouble, just plenty of cause to make Nancy trouble right back. (There are already people in Washington who know her name. Nancy knows there are files about her in the Pentagon.) So she's careful, she's delicate, and she implies nothing at all about anybody she can't demolish outright. She waters it down. It gets her a promotion.

.

Nancy doesn't drink icewater vodka, herself. She likes whiskey instead, in her coffee, in her tea. She talks on the phone with Murray Bauman at only the most irregular intervals, and he sneers at her in a way that Nancy's pretty sure translates, on Murray's tongue, to a colleague's respect. She tries not to lie. She's better at it, nowadays.

Nancy is hungry, has always been hungry. Has always been starving, one way or another, all the way back when she was twelve years old thirsting for adventure in the basement with her little brother, fifteen and ravenous for a challenge, an experience, the chance to grow up. She's choked on what she thought she wanted enough times that you'd think she'd learn by now. Mostly what it's done is toughen her teeth and teach her to chew.

She wants truth, and she can have it for herself, if she's good enough. If she doesn't try to force-feed it to the rest of the world too hard. She wants respect, she wants justice, she's selfish and selfless and hungry for all of it.

She wants to not be so afraid. She wants to not be so alone. She wants, sometimes, just once in a while, to be a little bit quiet and a little bit soft and rest.

It didn't work with Jonathan the same way it didn't work with Steve, or Liam, or Casey, or Diane. Nancy aches to be a little less alone, but she doesn't starve for it. Never once in her life has she been hungry for a person the way she's hungry for everything else. Never once in her life has she actually fallen in love back.

But Jonathan is at her front door again, because Jonathan is a yo-yo to all the people he's ever loved: backing off to give them time and space to grow, rocketing off into the world alone just for a little while, just as long as he can bear it, and then slinging himself back. Back to her again, this time.

Jonathan knows the score. Knows she loves him as much as she's ever loved anybody, other than Barb and Mike and her mother and Holly. And if it's not hunger -- if the closest Nancy has ever gotten to hunger for another person tends to happen in that oh-so-very, very discreet bar where Nancy can wear a perfectly-tailored suit and buy whiskey sours for girls in short skirts with no nightmares behind their eyes -- well, Nancy's never wanted most of them past the next morning anyway.

So sometimes Jonathan is on her couch and sometimes he's in her bed, and sometimes they fuck and sometimes all they do is sleep. When she needs a photojournalist, he's never once let her down. When she has nightmares, she wakes up just as terrified, but it's so much easier to pull herself together with someone to pull it together for. And Nancy Wheeler has never been in love, will never be in love, but she doesn't know what it could possibly have to offer that she could want more than that.

.

Does Nancy like her life? Wrong question. Stupid question. Better to ask if Nancy would have it any other way -- and well, yeah, she'd have a president who didn't sexually harass interns, a national defense budget that wasn't ten times the size of the department of education's, and a coffeemaker in the office that didn't get grounds in everything. She'd live in a world that didn't need her, find a new thing to be hungry about. Maybe she and Barb would both be on track for tenure by now.

In this world, she has half a dozen Pulitzer nominations and a Polk Award on her bookshelf. She has a locked filing cabinet full of other people's secrets and a locked safe full of her own. There's a file with her name on it somewhere in the Pentagon, although she hasn't managed to sneak in to read it yet. She's pretty sure the files on her desk about Pentagon staff are thicker.

[chirpsythismorning]

Will Byers Analysis - Between S3 & 4

Something I always think about, is how Will probably didn't even know Mike and El were back together at the end of season 3.

When they had last spoke, part of Will probably thought Mike was talking about something else, which is understandable bc both him and Mike were speaking in code, whether they realized it or not (I didn’t say it/You didn’t have to).

At the very least, Will thought things could go back to how they used to between them; friends (best friends).

When the Byers arrived to Cali, I imagine within the first day, or within the first few days after they settled, it was most likely Jonathan who made the move to phone the Wheelers to talk to Nancy.

Then maybe Will decided he would call Mike once the phone was free or even asked Jonathan to have Nancy just hand the phone to Mike so they could catch up too.

But once Mike got on the phone, something was off. He sounded kind of distant and awkward and it left Will feeling confused.

Maybe Will tried to chock it up as them just needing to get used to living far away from each other, since this distance thing was indeed new for them. They'd been friends for the last decade and hadn't experienced being apart for longer than a week (the week of his disappearance). So, it was bound to be a little weird, for a little while. Right?

But honestly, just thinking about their fight in s3 and the events leading up to it, I wouldn't blame Will for being slightly worried.

Before the rain fight, Will was putting almost all of the time and effort into their relationship. He was fighting for it and Mike was leaving him behind. And that really hurt Will.

And that's what's honestly so incredible about Will's arc in s4, because he's not putting himself through that again.

Yes, he's growing up and he's matured, but he's also come to accept that, based on Mike's actions as of recent (despite what he might have sensed from Mike over the years), those romantic feelings he has for him will NEVER be reciprocated. If he's lucky, Mike will still want to be his friend, and he would be relieved to stay in his life in that way if it's something Mike still wants.

(Which also makes the GA's argument about how they think Will's arc in s5 is going to be about him accepting that Mike will never love him back, fall flat??? Because, Will's already realized that, sis. S4 ending the way it did was in part to make as clear as possible to Will (the unreliable narrator) that Mike cannot love him that way... And so why the hell would s5 confirm that for a second (3) time now? Where is the shock? Where is the value? What is satisfying about that? And why do that, while also holding off on Mike finding out about Will's feelings until the very end? Like... just let that simmer for a second and think about what that actually means in terms of the story going in a satisfying direction that also manages to surprise you... there is literally nothing satisfying about proving Will 'I'm not gonna fall in love' Byers, right...)

So, after about a week since they last spoke on the phone since arriving, a bunch of letters come in the mail: one for Jonathan, four for El, and three for Will (you can probably guess who from the party didn't send a letter to Will...).

And it's as if Will's worst fears are being (re)realized.

In his casual letter exchanges between the party, he talks about DnD and a new art class he's taking with Dustin, joining the basketball team with Lucas and how everything she'd told him about California was right with Max. Super casual catching up with some of his best friends. And yet still, nothing from Mike, arguably his best friend.

And so Will is understandably devastated.

He doesn't understand. Or maybe he does, he just didn't want to believe it.

And so, how Will chose to go about his contact with Mike over the next 'year' makes sense to me (and I support him fully tbh).

I think Will's arc in s4 is beautiful because he has some of the best development of anyone on the entire show. He's not the gay kid being used as a plot device for a heterosexual couple (stay tuned for s5). If anything, we're seeing this character who tried his best to mend his friendship with his best friend (also secret first love) after Mike presumably rejected him (ITS NOT MY FAULT YOU DON'T LIKE GIRLS!), and so, Will is not going to put himself through that again.

He's not going to let himself have hope that there could ever be something more between them, even if he thought so many times before there were moments or signs that Mike could feel the same (BC MIKE DID!!). He has already accepted it's not possible.

He's not going to 'stand in the way' anymore. If Mike wants to be with El, he's going to support them, even if it hurts him and his own feelings.

It's tragic, but it feels so in character for Will and his qualities as a person.

I know a lot of bylers argue that both Mike and Will were in the wrong when it came to them both not staying in touch, and I do agree, completely actually. Especially knowing Mike tried to call Will. HE TRIED. So it's not like he didn't. The miscommunication trope is doing it's magic. We just have to accept that.

And so, fittingly, when confronted, Mike doesn't tell Will he called (a lot). He lets Will think that he barely called and deflects and pushes it back on Will. But then almost instantly, he regrets it. Because it's in this moment he's only now realizing that Will did want to talk and missed him and is quite literally confused why they're not best friends any more. And suddenly it's all clicking. He knows deep down Will has every reason to be insecure, to not reach out to Mike after what happened last summer. It's just that he also thought Will had every right to move on because why wouldn't he, what's so great about Mike? Will could have anyone? Mike was so distracted by his own insecurities that Will had inevitably moved on, while also trying to hide his feelings, that he didn't realize Will actually did miss him. They've both got it all wrong.

As of now, we don’t know for sure if Will called at all, and so me assuming he called first, is just that, an assumption. But I’m giving Will the benefit of the doubt here. (It's also likely the Byers would have called the Wheeler's first because they know their number by heart most likely, while the Wheelers would've had to wait to get their new number).

Based on the story presented though (Will's unreliable narrator POV), he had a lot more reason to doubt Mike wanted anything to do with him. Will literally spent all of s3 fighting for their friendship, even if it meant coming off as slightly clingy and annoying and ‘childish’. And look how that turned out?

What else was Will to do in this situation? Just repeat all of his behavior in s4?

Was he just supposed to call Mike first, write him letters first, even though Mike was showing repeat signs of wanting to distance himself from him again?

And so, Will waits. He waits for Mike to make the next move, just in case his insecurities are right and that Mike doesn't want them to be best friends like they used to be.

One evening, about a month since the move, the phone rings and Will answers it. It's Mike.

Will is obviously surprised and thrilled. They talk for a bit, and yeah it's awkward. But still, it gives Will hope.

Now, it's still not enough to give Will the confidence to reach out first, fearing he'll come off too strong and scare Mike away again, and so he continues to give Mike space. But that doesn't stop this gesture from giving Will the inspiration to try one more thing, one last ditch effort to save their friendship; he's going to make Mike a painting.

So, all while watching El receive a new letter in the mail every few weeks or so, with him and Mike talking once (or if he's lucky maybe twice) a month over the phone, Will spends his time working on the painting, knowing that Mike used to appreciate his drawings when their friendship was at its strongest. And so, maybe this will be the thing that finally fixes things for them once and for all?

All too soon, it's Spring break and they're at the airport waiting for Mike to land.

In the months leading up to their reunion, Will made sure no one saw the painting he was working on, least of all El. Not even because he was scared she might figure out his feelings, but because he wanted it to be a surprise. We also know Will presumably had no problem with the others seeing the painting eventually because he literally brought it to the airport for Mike to open in front of all of them? And so... to him this was clearly an attempt at platonic reconciliation, even despite Will having romantic feelings for Mike. What he wanted was their friendship back.

But suddenly, Mike is standing before him and Will is so excited he can't hold back anymore. I mean, he's been holding back for MONTHS and he just wants to hug his best friend.

But then Mike is being awkward again, almost like he doesn't want to even touch Will at all, contrasting greatly from the last time they hugged during their goodbye only just a year ago (6 months they're so dramatic, i swear).

All this does is prove to Will that, despite them apparently ending on good terms, it seems Mike is just repeating last summer all over again.

Understandably, Will jumps to this conclusion fairly quickly, as his insecurities are being proven right in real time. Mike doesn't want the friendship they used to have. He doesn't want to hug, doesn't want to write to him, barely even called despite writing El a book worth of letters. He wants to talk to and focus on his girlfriend and Will is just an afterthought now.

There's no way he's gonna want this? A painting? Not a chance in hell.

So when Mike points to it and asks him about it nervously, Will panics and brushes it off.

How could he be so naive. Mike is making it SUPER clear he doesn't care about him, not like he used to. And still he's holding onto some misguided hope that maybe there's still a chance for them to be best friends.

How could he be so stupid.

[lab-trash]

Time Loop fic where after Mike and Will return, time goes back to the year before on the same date.

Who's the victim of the time loop? That's for you to decide. Want a Ronance fic? Make it Robin. Steddie? Steve or Eddie. Byler? Will, maybe Mike. Hell, even El would be a really good one for that. Lumax, Lucas; he gets really overprotective over Max. Best of all though, in my opinion? A Jargyle where Argyle is the one in the time loop.

Think about it. At first he thinks it was a really hecking bad trip— for months he thinks that! And then there's some new kids and Argyle realises. That's was all real.

(Ideas for other ships under the cut)

Steddie- Classic; Steve starts trying to get to know and get along more with Eddie to try and get him not to die somehow, or even just see them as confidantes to go to after Chrissy's death. Definitely didn't mean to fall in love with him. Or, if you want Eddie to be the looper, have him start getting friendly and charmingly annoying in his special way, way earlier. Especially if Dustin didn't know, that'd be hilarious.

Ronance- Robin realising she likes Nancy after they stop being around each other and having to kind of casually figure out a way to become her friend. No romantic expectation. Damn is she surprised when she hears Nancy and Jonathan broke up. That didn't happen last time. What changed?

Byler- Let's do Will first. Obviously, he's not looking forward to moving. He doesn't want to lose Mike again. Especially now that he's realised he has a crush on him. This would mostly be angst. Maybe Will makes a little more of an effort to call though, knowing the potential outcome of not calling Mike when his mom is off the phone.

Mike. He tries to write and call more. He starts regretting it when he starts looking forward to Will's letters more than El's and gets disappointed when El calls him instead of Will. Maybe he shares this with Eddie and Eddie jokes about him being bi, much to Mike's confusion.

Lastly, my favourite. El. One, I like the idea that she gets her little powers back in the loop. She decides to keep it a secret, especially once they move to California where they're weaker and less consistent. They're more emotion based there. Other than that, she tries to make more of an effort to keep Mike and Will's friendship close. Maybe on a call, El realises Mike likes Will, or realises Will likes Mike. She breaks up with Mike, sort of out of mercy. Both of them would be ridden with guilt if they were dating when they figured out their own feelings. All in all, I want El to be a supportive sister and friend. Maybe throw some elmax or elumax in there, I don't make the rules.

[swanqueenelmaxshadowhunters]

Max wasn't really in the mood to celebrate Christmas. Not yet. She was still grappling with the events of months ago and the whirlwind of emotions that came with it – relief, guilt, freedom, anger. She appreciated Lucas and Dustin for caring and always checking in on her, but they didn't truly understand. Not really. And that reflected in her relationship with Lucas. Despite his good intentions and the strong connection between them, Max just couldn't open up to him about Billy or how, at times, she wished she had died in his place. She couldn't share with him the intricacies of her complicated relationship with Billy and how, nonetheless, his death profoundly affected her.

Amidst all this, her bond with Eleven grew stronger. Somehow, El seemed to understand her, even if she didn't grasp the intricate details of human relationships. Despite all that had happened to her, El still possessed a great innocence towards feelings and relationships. Yet, when they were together, Max could relax a bit and feel lighter. When she had nightmares about the events at the mall, El rarely asked questions, knowing Max wouldn't talk much. Instead, she would just embrace her and let Max cry in her arms until she calmed down. The few times Max shared her feelings about Billy's death with Eleven, there was no judgment, only genuine and innocent curiosity in trying to understand something so complicated.

Over time, Max found herself sleeping more and more at Hopper's cabin, growing closer to Eleven. This brought forth the feelings Max desperately tried to bury, intensifying and nearing the surface.

In the midst of a crisis, Max would try to focus on the day she took Eleven shopping. It was one of the happiest days of her life. She never had many girl friends, finding them superficial and boring, but El was different. She wasn't superficial or boring, even when discussing sweaters and Christmas lights with Dustin.

A discreet smile formed on Max's lips as she listened to El and Dustin talk, stealing a glance at the girl. She looked adorable in that teddy bear and Christmas tree sweater.

"Sweaters are great! I don't know why Mike doesn't like them."

Max rolled her eyes. "Mike doesn't like many things." Mike was an idiot. He and El had broken up because El was spending too much time with Max. Seriously, how insensitive could that boy be? Not to mention, he added almost nothing to El's life. He didn't care to teach her anything that truly mattered, constantly disregarding El's or even Max's feelings.

"That's not true, I like a lot of things," Mike replied, emerging from Joyce's room, with Will following closely, each carrying a cardboard box. "But these sweaters are ridiculous."

"Your hair is ridiculous, and no one says anything," Max shot back before realizing what she was saying.

Everyone did their best to suppress their laughter at her remark, with limited success. She could feel Eleven's gaze on her but tried her best not to reciprocate. Max was aware that hiding her feelings for Eleven was getting harder each day, and the last thing she needed was for Mike to notice. Not that Mike was smart enough to notice anything. He probably hadn't even realized how long Will had been in love with him.

Max shook her head, pushing away those thoughts. No matter what she felt for El, nothing would happen. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, gripping the ladder tighter as Robin was on the second-to-last step, securing some lights on the wall of the Hopper-Byers living room.

"Remind me again why I, and not you, am up here putting up these lights?"

Robin's voice made Max raise her head. "Because you're taller than me," Max shrugged.

"And I'm also clumsier." Robin grumbled.

"Get on with it; we still have more lights to put up."

"Okay, okay." Robin grumbled and climbed one more step. "But if I fall—"

Max watched as Robin stretched on tiptoes to try to nail one end of the light to the wall when she lost her balance and fell off the ladder, taking Max with her.

"Ouch."

Despite the fall, Max couldn't help but laugh. Robin was completely clumsy, but she was also smart and funny. Over the months, Max found herself spending more time with Robin and Steve. Now that they no longer had the mall, and they worked at a video rental store, she and Eleven would often go there to pick up movies when Max stayed at the cabin.

"Oh, my God, are you guys okay?"

Joyce's concerned voice snapped Max out of her thoughts, and she pushed Robin. "We're fine, Mrs. Byers. Sorry."

"No need to apologize, dear." Joyce smiled at her with that sweet and understanding demeanor that always left Max a bit disoriented.

She observed as Joyce's attention turned to Eleven, and she got the impression that El was looking at her, but she couldn't be sure.

The living room door swung open, bringing in a gust of cold air as Hopper, Jonathan, and Nancy entered with more last-minute purchases. That was another thing Max liked; the relationship between Hopper and Joyce turned that group into a sort of extended family, where she and Robin were included without anyone having to think much about it. Max still remembered the early days in Hawkins, before meeting the boys, when she was skateboarding on the main street, fell, and Joyce ran over to check if she was okay. There was no judgment in Joyce's eyes for Max being a girl skateboarding or for her not-so-girlish clothes.

She liked the fact that now that El and Hopper lived at Joyce's house, it was closer for her to visit, and Max also enjoyed Joyce's cooking. Jonathan was cool too. He was always listening to music and talking with them. He genuinely cared about Will and his feelings, doing everything to let Will know he could count on him, no matter what happened. All she wanted was to have a brother like Jonathan. Or even Steve. He was the first person to stand up for her against Billy, who looked her in the eyes and promised that everything would be okay. The Hopper-Byers' house was cozy and had something that made Max feel safe there, even when everything was chaotic.

"Give me this." Nancy shook her head upon seeing Max and Robin still on the ground. "Help Max hold the ladder. Let me handle these lights. You're likely to send someone to the hospital."

Max involuntarily smiled as Nancy glanced at her and offered a smile. Nancy was amazing. She watched as Robin handed the Christmas lights to Nancy and assisted Max in setting the ladder upright, holding the other side.

"After we're done here, we're going to make snowmen," Mike said after a while. He was in a corner of the room with Will, Dustin, and El, decorating the Christmas tree.

"Snowman?"

Max's attention was immediately drawn to Eleven, like a magnet in a magnetic field. Her eyebrows were slightly furrowed in that adorable way when she was confused, and Max's heart skipped a few beats when El's gaze met hers. Every time Eleven looked at her, it was as if she could see through Max, as if she saw her soul, her deepest secrets.

She shook her head to clear those thoughts, noticing that Eleven was still looking at her. "You got this!" Max smiled.

(...)

After finishing the decorations, it was time to head to the backyard to build snowmen. Despite not being exactly in the Christmas spirit, Max loved the snow. It was one of the things she enjoyed most about moving to Hawkins. She grabbed her coat and put it on, zipping it all the way up. As she put on her gloves, she saw Joyce adjusting Eleven's coat and putting a hat on her head. It was amazing how Joyce seamlessly stepped into the role of a mother to El, almost eerily natural, as if El had been her daughter forever.

Max's heart tightened a bit at the thought, leading her to reflect on her own mother. Things got really ugly with Neil after Billy's death, and with no Billy to take out his rage on, he turned to Susan. Until Max had had enough and intervened, much like when she prevented Billy from beating Steve to death. After that, Neil left, leaving them with almost nothing. However, despite Hawkins being a small town with not much to offer, Susan soon found work at the downtown bank. It wasn't much, but at least they didn't have to stay in the trailer park for long.

The sound of the boys' laughter snapped her out of her thoughts, and Max ran over to El, taking her hand and running with her through the yard. The boys were already there, engaged in a snowball fight, and one came dangerously close to Eleven's head for Max's liking.

"Hey, idiots, watch out!"

"Sorry, El." Lucas had the decency to look guilty, and he smiled at them.

Max felt Eleven's gaze on her and turned to look at her. There was a mischievous gleam in her eyes, and Max immediately understood what she wanted to do. Oh, this would be funny. Max watched as El focused on her powers and created the largest snowball she had ever seen using only her mind. When the snowball reached a considerable size, El looked at her again, and Max just nodded. In the next moment, the boys were under the snowball El had made.

Eleven's laughter filled the air, and Max couldn't help but laugh along with her. The boys whined and dramatized while they laughed more and soon Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan appeared beside them to see what had happened.

"What? Did you do this?" Steve asked El, and Max couldn't help but smile at the innocent mischief in her eyes and Steve's expression. Seriously, he had seen El do a bunch of things, and he still marveled at her powers.

"Serves you right, dummies." Max stuck her tongue out at the boys and pulled Eleven by the hand to find a spot in the yard to build their snowmen.

Max knelt in the snow and began forming a snowball between her hands, showing Eleven how to start building her snowman. It didn't take long for them to finish - El gave a little help with her powers to stack the snowballs on top of each other.

After finishing building their snowmen, they joined the boys in a snowball fight, running and ducking to avoid the snowballs thrown their way. The sounds of laughter filled the backyard, filling the gaps in Max's heart. It was the first time she had felt genuinely happy in a long time. For the first time in ages, Max had momentarily forgotten her pains and traumas.

"Ouch, sorry." Max gasped when she fell over Eleven in the snow.

Eleven's intense brown eyes were a breathtaking contrast against the white snow. For Max, Eleven's eyes were the most expressive she had ever seen, but in that moment, shining with innocent mischief, they were even more beautiful than she could ever describe. Her heart skipped several beats when El's gaze met hers, and without realizing what she was doing, Max's eyes dropped to El's lips, and she leaned forward a bit, unaware of her actions.

"Hey, dingus, let's go inside before we become part of the decoration."

Robin's voice interrupted the moment, and Max felt her heart stop for a moment. What the hell was she doing? This was getting out of control. She couldn't just almost kiss Eleven in front of everyone. Especially without being sure if Eleven wanted it or understood the implications.

Mike's creepy move of starting a relationship with El when the girl barely grasped the concept was already enough. Max refused to be like him.

Since that day at the mall, Max had explained more about relationships to El - as well as her limited knowledge allowed. But still, what El knew about relationships and socializing was far less than them. Max quickly got up, feeling her cheeks burning, and extended a hand to help El up, but she couldn't bring herself to look at her at that moment.

"Come on, let's have some hot chocolate to ward off this cold!"

Joyce called from the door, and Max started walking into the house. She knew Eleven might be confused by her behavior, and she was almost certain that El would ask if she did something wrong as soon as they were alone. But how could Max explain to her? Talking about her feelings was out of the question. Besides, El didn't need someone as messed up as her in her life.

Max felt her heart race when El took her hand, intertwining their fingers and pulled her to the corner of the room where Nancy, Robin, and Erica were. They sat on the carpeted floor in front of them, and Max noticed something strange in Nancy and Robin's gazes.

She silently thanked when Nancy's attention turned to Eleven, and she said, "Your snowman looks really nice."

"It was my first time making one."

"You've never made a snowman before?"

Max rolled her eyes and shook her head upon hearing Robin's question. She knew Robin meant no harm, but she couldn't help her protective side kicking in.

"She lived in a lab, dingus. I doubt that old man was building snowmen in there."

Max immediately wanted to kick herself for saying something, as at that moment, Nancy and Robin exchanged a look that made Max shiver. Suddenly, it felt like they could read her thoughts and knew what she felt for Eleven when she herself couldn't quite explain it. She was screwed. So screwed. If they said anything to Hopper, he would rip her head off. He would shred her into pieces and serve her to others for Christmas. Or he might just cut her into bits and hide them around. He certainly knew how to do that. Oh, she was so screwed.

"The next step is learning to skateboard."

Robin's teasing tone snapped Max out of her spiraling thoughts, and she almost choked on her saliva when Eleven said, "I'd rather watch Max do it. She's really good at it."

"And to think when you two first met, you looked like you were going to rip Max's head off," Steve said amusingly, coming in with a tray of cookies.

"Things have changed. Now, I don't have a reason to knock her off the skateboard anymore."

"Wait, you were the one who knocked me off the skateboard that day at the school court?"

"Maybe."

Eleven bit her lip trying to hold back a smile, and Max's heart almost leaped out of her chest. The first time El had done that was on that day at the mall, when they were at Hopper's cabin after the outing, and on that day, Max thought she was going to have a meltdown right there. That part hadn't changed much.

"Oh, you're in so much trouble for that," Max said, narrowing her eyes, and pushed Eleven, falling on top of her again. Eleven gasped and burst into laughter as Max started tickling her. Max knew she had never heard a sound as good as Eleven's laughter in her entire life. She wanted to make Eleven smile every day, even if she couldn't smile every day.

Eleven laughed and squirmed beneath her, and for a moment, Max forgot about everyone around them. This was something between them, of them. Max was always tickling Eleven, and vice versa, but that day was different. There was something in Eleven's gaze that made Max's heart beat even faster.

When Jonathan approached with a tray of hot chocolate, Max stopped tickling Eleven and helped her sit down, noticing Robin and Nancy looking at them in a way that made Max's cheeks acquire a new shade of red.

After having cookies and hot chocolate, they settled in the living room to watch a movie, and then everyone went to have dinner. While the boys tidied up the room, Joyce went to the kitchen to check on dinner, and Hopper, Jonathan, and Steve set the table. Nancy, Robin, Max, Erica, and El helped bring dishes from the kitchen to the dining room.

El had just placed a dish on the table and was returning to the kitchen when she nearly bumped into Max.

"Sorry, I was distracted."

Eleven looked at her in a way that made Max's heart skip a few beats.

"Oh, oh! Mistletoe!"

Max felt her heart stop for a few seconds at what Robin said. She was going to kill whoever came up with the idea of hanging those stupid mistletoes around the house.

"What?"

Eleven and Max asked at the same time, and Max's voice came out sounding like one of those idiotic characters who cower at anything. She just hoped Eleven wouldn't think it had anything to do with her because Max couldn't explain the truth.

"Mistletoe. You know what that means."

Robin wiggled her eyebrows, but despite the gesture, there was no malicious intent in her. 

"No, she doesn't!"

Max shot a furious look at Robin. Max blushed, turning as red as a ripe tomato. She was going to strangle Robin. Eleven was still learning many things, and although she had already grasped the concept of many things and improved her communicative skills and understanding of friendships, promises, and other things, romantic relationships were still very new and little talked about for Eleven.

Max knew that this mistletoe thing was just something silly and harmless, and she knew Robin meant no harm, but still. The mere idea of kissing Eleven made Max's heart race and stop at the same time.

"What's the mis- mis-"

"Mistletoe," Steve said, appearing next to El.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"It's just a stupid tradition," Max quickly said, hoping not only Robin and Steve but especially El would drop the subject. But of course, that was asking too much when it came to her best friend's relentless curiosity.

"What tradition?" Eleven asked, ignoring Max's eye roll.

"According to tradition, when two people find themselves under the mistletoe, they are supposed to-" Steve gestured vaguely.

"I don't understand."

"Oh, for God's sake." Max huffed in annoyance, even redder than before. "According to tradition, when two people find themselves under the mistletoe, they should kiss."

"Oh."

El's eyes widened, and Max could see her processing this information. Max wished a hole would open beneath her and swallow her, maybe even take her to the upside-down because that would be her death.

"Oh! Do you want... to kiss?"

Max felt her heart do a perfect backflip at that moment. She wasn't sure if El understood the concept, and she didn't want it to create a misunderstanding between them. Something that could potentially undermine their friendship. So, swallowing any trace of hope, she said, "We don't have to, El. It's just a stupid tradition."

"Ah."

Max tilted her head at Eleven's reaction. She seemed almost disappointed that Max dodged her question. Could that mean El wanted to kiss her? And more importantly, did El understand the implications? 

Max knew Eleven didn't care much about society's definitions, but maybe it was only because she still didn't grasp many stupid societal concepts. Moreover, she didn't know how others would react. If Hopper disliked Mike, he might end up hating Max. He could forbid her from seeing or talking to El, and she couldn't risk that. But Eleven's rejected look was enough for Max to dare. She took a deep breath and said, "I mean, we can if you want, but it's not a big deal." She nervously laughed, glancing at Steve and Robin, who were trying to contain their amusement.

"If it's just a tradition, why not do it? Traditions should be fun, right?"

Oh, Eleven's innocent curiosity would be the death of Max. She was screwed. So screwed. But Max knew she would do anything for Eleven.

"Yeah, you're right. It's just a silly tradition." She then turned her attention to the mistletoe. "Okay, here we go."

When Eleven tilted her head and leaned towards Max, she felt her heart racing like never before, but she didn't want to risk so much. What if she was misreading the situation? So, Max leaned in, giving a gentle kiss on El's cheek. The room fell silent for a moment, and when Eleven touched her own cheek, Max thought she might faint. There was no way she was misreading that.

"Oh, come on!" Robin grumbled.

Max rolled her eyes again, her cheeks even redder than before. "Fine, you want a real kiss?"

She nervously looked at Eleven, praying she was reading the situation correctly and begging the universe that it meant the same to El as it did to her.

Max's heart raced as she leaned in, capturing the subtle anticipation in Eleven's eyes. The room around them seemed to dissolve, leaving only the magnetic and innocent attraction between them. Max could feel El's breath against her lips, a shared moment filled with unspoken understanding.

Their kiss was a delicate dance of emotions, a sweet symphony of connection. El's closed eyes reflected the vulnerability Max had seen in her friend for so long. 

In that fleeting exchange, El's small smile revealed a world of understanding. Max sensed the genuine joy in her friend, and it echoed within her. It was a kiss that marked a shift in their relationship, an acknowledgment of something unspoken yet deeply felt.

As Max reluctantly pulled away, a twinge of longing lingered. The absence of their closeness left a void, and Max couldn't help but marvel at the subtle shift in dynamics. It was a kiss that, despite its brevity, carried the weight of revelation and understanding. Well, to some extent. Max was still far from truly understanding what was going on with her, and she knew the same went for El, but she felt they could rely on Steve and Robin to help them better comprehend.

Steve's applause and Robin's mischievous smile reflected the unspoken sentiments of those who had been rooting for this connection. Max couldn't help but chuckle, her cheeks ablaze with a rosy hue. Her eyes, still sparkling from the shared moment, met Eleven's gaze.  She tucked a strand of hair behind El's ear. "Well, that was unexpected."

"I liked it. Can we do it again?"

"Of course, El. As many times as you want."

Maybe Max had died, and this was heaven. Or she was just dreaming. And if that was the case, she didn't want to wake up anymore.

(Max's pov)

[kuumara]

kinda a part 2 of this (idk how to embed links or wtvr its calledsorry)

Mike's been here for what feels like ages. Terrified, even though he knows it's not real. Well it kind of is. He can already imagine himself floating in the air or whatever his body in the real world would be doing at this stage. That terrifies him even more. He wishes he could stop thinking, but it's like the thoughts aren't even his, but instead are being put there by someone. By him. Vecna.

He sometimes feels like that with Will too... Jesus Christ can he ever stop thinking about that boy?? His mind gets a... well, mind of it's own whenever he's with Will. Even more when he's without him. Thoughts of Will, of his eyes, his hands, his hair, his cheeks, his nose, his lips, his ears-

He hears footsteps. God damn it, Will's gonna be the end of him. Literally.

He runs out of the bedroom of the strange apartment he woke up in and down the seemingly endless hallway. Soon he realizes this was a bad idea. There's nowhere to hide, no rooms in sight. Just the hallway...

He runs and runs. He's never been good at running. Maybe when he was younger. Before that summer the Byers's left he was better at it. Jesus Christ that summer... He can't believe how stupid he was back then. He should've made it the best summer for Will. Sure, he didn't know it would be his last... normal summer in Hawkins, but still. He should've been nicer to him. Now he regrets it, regrets not being a better friend to Will while things were still relatively normal.

Of course, he apologized. But it was too late-Hawkins was already in shambles. Will didn't think that summer was that big of a deal and Mike nearly cried. He wishes Will would've hit him, or insulted him for it or something. But nothing-Will was seriously too good for him.

Anyway, his lungs were aching. But his legs weren't stopping. He wasn't in control anymore. So, he closed his eyes, and

Mike Wheeler woke up in a strange field. He felt like he just woke up from a ridiculous hangover- well, it's not like he's ever experienced one... Don't tell his mom.

The sun was melting his eyes, but he felt relatively okay. Safe, even.

He laid there for a little more. He liked how the grass felt. Hasn't touched grass in, like, two years. Since Hawkins got overtaken by Upside Down, and there's not any grass there.

Then, he stood up and looked around. Grass everywhere. Hills in the distance. A swingset not too far away from him.

He walked towards the swingset. Everything was bright. When he came closer to it, it wasn't so bright anymore. And he could make out someone sitting on the swings.

"Oh, thank God, I thought it wouldn't work-" Someone on the Swings said. With a sweet voice he could recognize anywhere.

"El?" Mike called towards the swingset. He was still fairly away from it. Someone on the Swings snorted.

"No. Will. El's with Lucas and Max."

"Oh." he muttered. He stepped closer and, it really was Will. In all his glory. Mike's mind went blank yet again.

"Are you- uh- real?" He said.

Will stood from the swings and stepped closer to Mike. "Well- yeah. I got inside your brain. Like- Vecna-vision style. Actually, Will-vison. Yeah." He chuckled. Mike chuckled as well. Soon they were both laughing. Then Mike finally got some sense into him.

"Wh- huh????? So you have, like, powers? Vecna powers? El powers?"

"Will-powers. Yeah... I kinda could also "spy back" on Vecna, in his mind, and see how he did his tricks. And after a while of doing that, I tried to do them too, and I- it didn't work. At first. Then I figured, if my mind doesn't have powers, and his mind does, and his mind invades my mind when I'm possessed, I can try to do it with the small part of my mind that isn't possessed... so I did, and it worked! And now I'm here! Saving your ass."

Will smiled at Mike. Mike smiled back. Yeah, that made sense- well, everything kind of made sense ever since the Upside Down stuff started. They've all become unfazed by otherwise unusual stuff. Oh, the demogorgons dance as a mating ritual? Mike's seen other animals do this too. Ted is Tiffany now? Mike's never liked having a dad anyways. Karen and Joyce were kissing? Mike can't relate.

"So- what the hell do we do now?" He said.

"Oh, right. You have to get, like, a flood of positive feelings. Well, just positive activity in your brain. That makes you feel positive. Because even though I can make you have a me-vision, Vecna's still the one controlling the bigger vision- uh, it's like a vision inside a vision. Like a- like a shield! An invisible shield from a cleric protecting his paladin," Will beamed. He was such a nerd. "Figured that out from Vecna's mind too, heh. It was too easy, like reading from a manual really."

"Yeah, but how do I escape it then? Can you make your Will-vision play my favorite music or something?" Mike joked. Half-joked. As I said, everything made sense at this point.

Will laughed- genuinely. And Mike blushed; he liked seeing Will laugh, or just generally happy. He liked it even more when he was the one making Will laugh and happy.

And when Mike thought that thought, and how pretty Will was when he laughed, Will abruptly stopped laughing and blushed- furiously is the best way Mike can describe it. Oh, right... If it's a Will-vision, it means Will knows his thoughts as well- that's embarrassing. So, Mike blushed as well.

Will cleared his throat, still blushing- probably because Mike couldn't stop his thoughts from thinking about how pretty Will looks blushing.

"Uh, so- I could do that, y-yeah... Just, let me try something..."

Will closed his eyes and started concentrating. Mike stared at him, because of normal reasons.

After a while of silence with Will's furrowed brows, Mike cleared his throat. He wanted to ask if Will's still there or if Vecna took over again-

"J-just a moment- I'm almost done, I-"

Then Will disappeared. And after a second, the grass and the swingset too. Mike was in a void. He was scared shitless, unmoving for at least ten minutes.

Then memories started popping up:

First, his first playdate with Will. He was so excited that day. Barely remembered it, but right now the details were fresh in his mind like it had all happened less than a minute ago.

Then, their first sleepover. Mike read Will a good-night story that time and Mike never forgot how precious Will looked, asleep after just five pages of the book.

Going to the pool. Meeting Lucas. Mike being jealous of Lucas when he hanged out with Will while he couldn't, but also Will being jealous of Lucas when he could play with Mike when he couldn't. First day of school. They were ecstatic when they found out they will be in the same class. Swimming practices. First D&D campaign. Watching new Star-Wars movies. Meeting Dustin. First D&D campaign with Nancy. Hugging Will in the hospital after he got found in the Upside Down. The apology.

Suddenly, Will was in the void with him. It was his-Will, he could tell. He was coming closer and Mike's head was full of love and joy this time. He just wanted to kiss him forever and let him know how much he loves him.

So that's what he did- When Will came close enough, Mike kissed him. On the cheek, first. He didn't want to be rude.

Will snorted and kissed Mike. On the lips.

Mike Wheeler woke up on the floor of his basement. The floor of his basement was covered with dirt. And a lot of stuff you could hurt a demogorgon with. Around him, three- no, four people: Nancy, immediately kneeling to him, Tiffany cradling his head, Jonathan, who had ran into the basement when Mike woke up (to come after Will, who was possessed five minutes ago and had broken free of Jon's grip to come see Mike wake up) and, at his feet, Will Byers with his nose a bloody mess, smiling fondly at him while the others a terrified expression on their face.

Mike smiled dumbly at nothing and everything. The basement erupted in cheers. They all hugged him.

"Will, you- you saved him! You're a genius!!" Jonathan exclaimed while hugging Will tightly. After the euphoria passed, Will and Mike of course told them what had happened in Mike's mind... Leaving out a few details. Mike and Will had talked about that part... in private.

[andiwriteordie]

TELL ME UR FIREBENDING MIKE THOUGHTS

ALRIGHT FIREBENDING MIKE THOUGHTS PART 1 (also hi suni ily <3)

i'm about to go so out of order because i also have some asks from last night i need to still answer, but i want to get the thoughts that prompted all of this out of the way first so *cracks knuckles*

mike struggles with his firebending. i think i've talked a bit about that in some of my other ramblings about this au, but a major part of his story arc over this series that may or may not become a series someday is the fact that mike lowkey kinda sucks at bending. he's just. mediocre. especially when you compare him to nancy, who's a bit of a prodigy.

and it's not for lack of trying either. mike's being going to classes since he was younger—at his parents' insistence but also because he's so damn determined to get better. maybe if he gets better his parents will be proud of him and will notice him and will love him as much as they love nancy. maybe he won't feel as awful about himself if he could just be a better firebender. maybe he could protect his friends from bullies—and later from people like henry—if he could just be a better firebender.

mike struggles with his firebending. he tries everything, and he's impatient and frustrated through all his classes. the teachers try to show him the proper forms, but nothing? ever really clicks? he still can't produce powerful bending. he still keeps falling behind. the way that things should be done just doesn't seem to work for mike. instead, things blow up in his face. his fire is uncontrollable at times, then weak at other times. he can't rein it in, and he's awful at fighting with it.

but then, around when mike is 16, and el has gone off to try and regain her bending, and will has gone with her because like hell he's going to let his sister go off on her own (even if she is the avatar), mike ends up going on the Road Trip Of The Century with the byers-hopper family to track down the missing twins. and somewhere out in the middle of the desert, his breakthrough begins to happen.

it starts off with a conversation, because even though mike is getting on his goddamn nerves, jonathan has known this kid since he was 5. he might as well be jonathan's little brother too, and spirits help him, jonathan gets aggravated at mike sometimes, but he's a good kid. he's will's best friend for a reason, and jonathan knows something's up with mike.

so the two of them get to talking, and jonathan never does quite get mike to come outright and talk about what he's angry over... but jonathan's perceptive. he knows mike fairly well, and he's heard will talk about mike's struggles, and he's also dating nancy. so, he knows what's going on here.

and jonathan takes the opportunity to talk to mike about the beauty that there is in all bending forms—how important it is not to let your bending be limited by rigidity and technique. how that's a trap that most people fall into. they get stuck in their worldviews, in their ways of bending, in the "right" way to do things. and they fail to see the big picture. they fail to learn from others. we get to have an uncle iroh/zuko moment where jonathan and mike talk about the strengths of each of the different elements, and... for mike, it starts to click.

he's seen the different strengths of the four elements—and of nonbenders too—because he's seen those qualities in his friends. the versatility of being a nonbender. how you have to be quick on your feet and adapt to anything and learn how to operate in the world, even if you are a bit of an underdog, and still teach yourself to thrive, just like dustin has. the grounded nature of earthbending and how earthbenders like max don't waver, no matter what is thrown at them. the fluidty and the ever-changing nature of waterbending. how lucas adapts to the situations he finds himself in and how waterbenders can turn their opponent's own bending and energy against their opponents. the freedom and flexibility and ease of airbending and how will is always watching, learning, and changing. how airbenders learn their opponents and anticipate their next moves, so they never have to strike first, and can operate on the defensive instead.

it finally begins to click for mike, and he begins to watch his friends more—how they spar, how they act around each other, how they see the world. and slowly, mike begins to incorporate the other elements' techniques into his bending—in the same way that we actually see zuko do in the last agni kai battle with azula (1:55 - not flinching or moving, much like an earthbender would do; 2:30 - circular movement very reminiscent of airbending technique; and of course 3:12 - his... sort of redirecting the lightning).

once mike stops trying to be someone he isn't and trying to force himself to firebend just like his sister or just like how everyone tells him to do it, he begins to love his bending. maybe his technique isn't perfect. but his fire is more powerful now, and he can hold his own in a fight. and most of all, his firebending is his. it's something that he has done for himself—something that he has learned from the people he loves the most. his firebending becomes a reflection of his friendships with the party, and how fitting is that for mike, who is their leader and the heart?

[cringefail-loser]

The Art of Screwing Up, by Mike Wheeler

SUMMARY: Mike Wheeler, (an absolute idiot), stupidly decides to procrastinate asking Will to senior prom, before it's too late. Watching his childhood crush dance with a girl is absolutely heart wrenching for him, but there's nothing he can do about it now... right? NOTES: Hey !! This my second ever byler fic, so soz if it kinda sucks. I'm in a really shitty mood because I said something horrible to my (ex) boyfriend and now he hates me, so I figured that writing fan fiction about it would get my mind off of things. Hope you enjoy !! Also, the song that plays at the end is "Dancing With Myself" by Billy Idol :)

warnings: mild language

words: 1.7k

also read it on AO3

I screwed up. It was as simple as that. I didn't ask Will to the dance in time, and now he's dancing with some random girl I don't even know. He looks like he's having the time of his life, and I'm standing over here in the corner of the room, shuffling my feet awkwardly while Dustin, Lucas, Max, and El are all laughing and drinking fruit punch. I'm such a loser. "But there's always next year, Mike!" You might be thinking to yourself. No. No no no no. This is senior prom, which means that it's the last dance of my life. At least, probably. Unless I become, like, super famous, and get invited to a bunch of super fancy parties or whatever, there is no other dance I can ask Will to. This is it.

I figured that, as much as it seemed like my only option in the moment, moping around wasn't the best plan of action, and maybe I should just, y'know, go talk to my friends like a normal person who doesn't have a prom date would do. 

I awkwardly make my way over to the snack table, and nonchalantly grab one of the mini bottles of water out of the plastic material that they're kept in. You know what I'm talking about. (If you don't, that's super embarrassing for me, and I'm sorry.) I tried my best to make my presence known to the rest of the party, but Max is the only one who does, and all she does is give me a little wave. Even Lucas, the friendliest member of our little group, doesn't even look my direction. My logical mind is saying that they're just too distracted with whatever they're talking about or doing to notice, but my emotional mind is saying that they're purposefully ignoring me because I did something to piss them off. The more I think about it, the more likely it seems. I guess I did make that one slightly mean joke to El about how she needs a haircut, when I know full well that she's very sensitive about her hair. Whatever it was, they were clearly pissed with me. 

Except for Dustin, apparently. 

He's chatting with Lucas about our most recent campaign (the one where I was clearly flirting with Will, but he didn't seem to take notice), when he spots me. He waves me over to where the pair is standing together. I awkwardly make my way over to them.

"Mike! Hey, man! I feel like we haven't seen you in forever," Lucas smiles. He gently pats me on the back. I don't know how to reply, so I just smile. "How have you been?" He asks, but I'm too distracted at the sight of Will, laughing and smiling as he dances and twirls with the brunette. Dustin takes notice and elbows my arm. 

"Are you really checking out Will at senior prom, instead of asking him to dance?"

"Look at him! He's having the time of his life with some random girl," I groan. "And why would he want to dance with me anyways?" 

"Because... you're super awesome and cool? And he clearly loves you?" Lucas suggests. I'm not sure about the second part, but the first part is totally accurate. 

"Thanks, man." I smile weakly. 

"So, are you going to ask him to dance, or what?" I hear Max from behind me. She's managed to roll her way over to us without me noticing. It's been a while since we've hung out. Ever since she's been using a wheelchair to get around, her mom never lets her leave the house. I mean, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the idea. Although, she did get her hair cut short, and I will admit, it looks pretty rad on her. 

"I-I mean-" 

"Just go do it, Mike." She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms "I'll help you, even." My eyes go wide.

"Really?" I ask. There is just no way that Max Freaking Mayfield is willing to help me. She basically hated my guts when we first met a few years ago. And for good reason. 

"Yes really, dumbass," She rolls her eyes once again. "c'mon, let's go!" She pulls on my arm with her one free hand, and drags me across the room, making her way through the crowd. I'm closer to Will than I have been in like a week.

"Ok." She speaks. "When I say to, you're going to go up to Will, and say 'Hey, do you want to dance?', got it?" I nod in response. I look over to Will again. He's sitting on the wooden bleachers, smiling and nodding to everything the girl he was dancing with says. A lump in my throat forms. Sure, most people at this point know that I like men (and women, but that's not really important right now), but still, asking another boy to dance in front of someone I don't know? What if she like, yells at me or something? You really never know with people. 

My heart is beating faster, palms covered in sweat, like I dipped my hand in a bucket of grease. I can feel myself heating up, the feeling boiling in my chest and sending a tingling sensation throughout my body. It's uncomfortable, but it only gets worse.

"Mike? Mike!" I hear Max yell. I look over to her, she has a concerned look twisted on her face. "Are you ok?" she mouths. My quickened breathing slows down to a light pant. "Dude, you like, totally zoned out there. It was weird. Is everything ok?" She asks. I nod like an idiot. "then get yourself out there, and ask Will to dance!" It's obvious at this point that she's tired of my shit, and honestly? Me too. I'm tired of my own bullshit. I've spent the past five months pining over Will, and doing literally nothing about it, basically clinging to him like a wet kitten, and always talking about him. But apparently, I don't even have the courage to ask him to dance? What's wrong with me? I'm going to take a deep breath, puff out my chest, go up there and ask Will to-

"Hey, Mike!" Apparently, Will had made his way up to me without me even noticing. Maybe I fell in love with a ghost instead of a real human boy. 

"o-oh! Hey, Will! Wh-what's up?" Why am I stuttering? I've talked to him like a bajillion times.

"Oh, not much, just, y'know, waiting for you to ask me to dance?" He grins. Wait. Did I hear him correctly? He wants me to ask him to dance? He's waiting for me to ask him to dance? Am I going insane?

Will notices my pause, and how I nearly choke on the air trapped in my lungs. "I-i mean, only if you want to? We don't have to dance. Sorry if that was weird."

"No!" I yell, maybe a bit too loudly, as a few people turn their heads my way. "I do want to. I do want to dance with you." His slight frown turns into the biggest smile I've ever seen on a person, and I swear to God, his eyes were glistening a bit. I turn to Max. She's motioning wildly to the dance floor.

"Go, you idiots!" She yells, playfully shoving us to the center of the room. Will looks at me. He places his arms on my waist.

"Wait." I furrow my eyebrows.

"Yeah? What's up?" He asks. 

'I've never danced with anyone before." I hate to admit it, but it's true.

"Honestly, I haven't either. At least- I've never slow danced with anyone. But I'm sure we'll figure it out." He grabs my hands and puts them on his shoulders, then he wraps his hands around my waist. He steps one foot backward. I'm not sure what to do, so I just stand there. He tugs on my arm a little bit, causing my to nearly topped forward on top of him. "Mike. you're supposed to dance with me, not just stand there." he laughs. But I'm nervous. There are dozens of couples surrounding us, and none of them are two boys or two girls. Or two of whatever. To make matters worse, a few of them are staring at us like we've just formed into one being with two heads. I can feel myself starting to panic again. 

"Mike, come on and dance with me! Everything's going to be fine." My head immediately snaps towards Will's directions once the words leave his mouth. "Just dance with me!" He smiles. I nod. "All you really need to do is shuffle your feet a little bit." I do as I'm told, and move my feet like I need to piss, but in slow motion. I can see Will is trying to stifle his laughter. I'm a little bit embarrassed at first, but once I watch him move around, I get into the flow too.

Right as I finally feel like I've got it down, the music is changing and all of a sudden everyone is jumping up and down and dancing at a fast pace. I feel disoriented and like all of a sudden, I'm all the way across the world at a different party. The whiplash doesn't seem to affect Will, though, as he's grabbing me by the hands and yelling at me to dance with him while he moves his body around, not exactly to the beat, but also not exactly to a different beat either. He's just moving around and having fun.

On the floors of Tokyo, or down in London town to go-go 

The crowd is singing along, and Will is screaming with them. You only live once, so why not join in?

When there's no one else in sight, in the crowded lonely night

Now we were having the time of our lives together. I had successfully danced with Will at senior prom. I didn't throw up, I stand in the corner all night, and most importantly, I didn't chicken out like I thought I would.

Maybe there were some things I could do right in life.

[jonathanskarma]

6, no 7 nuggets 

a/n: I feel like Nancy is quite taken aback by Steve's closeness with the kids. Like she's literally just never seen a male father figure actually be a father figure. I mean Ted's really enjoying his chicken and that's about it. Takes place sometime in season 5 time, and they haven't really spoken a lot it's been awkward, Steve is kinda being angsty towards Nance and they are both trying to make an effort to be "friends". basically, Steve Harrington saying things about his incredible nuggets and Nancy Wheeler falling more in love with him<3 (I've never written anything like this before so be kind)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So do you have a favorite?" Nancy says breaking the cold tense air. They're sitting on the wheeler couch getting rest in between fighting evil. The kids are gathered on the floor further away playing a board game. temporarily finding peace in the chaos by playing a dumb game and fighting over something stupid, but really just laughing. "huh?" Steve turned his in confusion, he is utterly sleep-deprived and lazily trying to keep his eyes open on the worn, but comfortable Wheeler couch. "Of the kids, do you have a favorite?" kinda whispering and trying to get a smile out of him.

a ghost of a smile flashes across his face "I'm not supposed to have favorites" he attempts to close the conversation, but he should know by now, Nancy Wheeler gets what she wants, and she wants him. "that's not a good enough answer" slightly taken aback he looks at her, rolling his eyes he says "well then I don't have a favorite," once again trying to close the conversation, they haven't been on great terms. Mostly because of the whole Nancy, Jonathan, and Nancy roping Steve into it. But and once again she's not convinced, gives him a very pointed stare. He relaxes under her gaze and gives in. "Well if you insist, I can't pick a favorite," he smiles a little then continues "I mean obviously Henderson and I are very close and I owe that kid kinda everything, and I think me and Max are getting closer kinda the only family we both have," he pauses, she smiles "she actually reminds me a lot of you, not that that would be a reason for me to like her more" he quickly tries to save himself in a not so smooth way "Steve" he stops and looks at her, there is a long moment of them just looking at each other. Steve swears Nancy is about to lean in "but I don't know they are all so different." he moves away breaking the eye contact. Nancy is confused and a little hurt but hides it well. "I think Erica is the funniest person I know, even though her only form of humor is bullying me, and older Sinclair, actually I think we are pretty similar you know?" she pauses and thinks for a moment, "yeah actually, you are very similar" he continues "I don't really know El or Jane now is it? I hate that only think of her for her powers, but along with Will there haven't been a lot of um - opportunities for closeness" he looked at her for a moment "you know for obvious reasons, but I mean Will that kid is just incredible, they all are, but he, he's been through so much and just such a nice kid." he has relaxed a lot more and is actually moved closer to her "if only Jonathan could be the same" he joked "Steve!" she hit his arm "ow!" he pretended to fall back on the couch and she pretended to roll her eyes "I'm kidding, maybe" sitting back up "ok well what about Mike?" she asked in her Nancy way "saving the best for last" he flashed his cheesiest smile he could muster "yeah alright sure" Nancy sarcastically quipped "look I now Mike and I aren't best of friends, but," he begins to whisper "if I had a favorite, he might fall into that category among others of course" he quickly adds the last part "really?" she says shocked and a little louder than they had been speaking but that doesn't stop the kids from their own little worlds "yeah, actually, he reminds me the most of you, you know always fighting for who you care about even if it's not the smartest choice, you are reliable" she's taken aback from his kind words "I'm trying to ignore the fact the you compared me to Mike, but thanks." "sure Nance," and that was that.

[lovemikage]

— training wheels

summary: mike doesn't know why he keeps letting you drag him to these dumb parties.

content warnings: 7 minutes in heaven, tooth-rotting fluff, not smut but suggestive, making out, mike calls reader "pompoms" cuz she's in cheer, fem!reader, everyone lives no one dies, college au, mike is NINETEEN!!!, childhood best friends to lovers, mutual pining, not beta read i wrote this and immediately posted it

wc: 1.93k

dt: @arachine <3

You and Mike are bickering like an old married couple, which wasn’t new. Your hand was wrapped tight around his wrist while you led him around, which also wasn’t new. No, what was new was that this was happening at a party, something Mike generally didn’t get invited to. 

And he wasn’t, not really – neither were Dustin or Max, who were currently huddled up on the couch looking ridiculously uncomfortable; El was drunk, but at least she looked happy. Will found some luck talking to a guy on the patio. Lucas was more comfortable, leaning against the side of the couch also relatively drunk but at least able to talk to the teammates who came up to say hi. 

And he wasn’t, not really – neither were Dustin or Max, who were currently huddled up on the couch looking ridiculously uncomfortable; El was drunk, but at least she looked happy. Will found some luck talking to a guy on the patio. Lucas was more comfortable, leaning against the side of the couch also relatively drunk but at least able to talk to the teammates who came up to say hi. 

The reason any of them were here, really, was because of you and Lucas – you’d made it a point to tell your group of student athletes that if they wanted you two anywhere, then the rest of your friends would be able to come too. Lucas nodded vigorously next to you, letting you do most of the talking.

It was a begrudging agreement (from both sides, honestly), but one flash of your puppy dog eyes had them all caving. Mike took a bit more convincing, but after promising him more movie nights in exchange for a party every other week, he caved. 

And that’s how you’d ended up here, huddled in the center of Chrissy Cunningham’s living room with your best friends, some fellow cheerleaders, and a whole lot of frat guys, writing down all of your names on little slips of paper. You loved party games.

“Alright, losers, we’re playing seven minutes in heaven–” Chance’s voice rings throughout the room and you tilt your head up from where it was previously resting on Mike’s shoulder, “All of your names are in this hat, so we’re gonna pick two and then send you in a closet with whoever you get – no redos, we don’t care who you end up with, just, like, knock on the door or something if you guys are fucking when seven minutes is up.”

His friends laugh and you grimace, thinking distantly about how maybe Mike was right and you didn’t need to play every party game you came across, but –

“Okay, Y/N –” The sound of your name being called makes your eyes widen and your body tense. You feel Mike’s arm tense from its place around your shoulders, tightening almost imperceptibly. 

“Aaaand – oh. Wheeler,” Mike’s name is called with much less enthusiasm than yours is, coated with distaste, “You lucky bastard.”

You feel your entire body heat up because oh my god, why does he have to flirt with you right now?, and also because you’re currently about to be sent into a dark closet with your best friend slash longtime unrequited crush.

You hear a bark of laughter at your side and give Dustin a withering glare (which of course doesn’t shut him up, but you tried). You’re immediately very aware of the fact that your knees are touching and his arm is around you, a position that was previously so comfortable now feeling so, so intense. 

You want to scream, and maybe die, but you guys are getting hauled up way too quickly by some basketball players that are way too strong for their own good, then being led (and frankly thrown) into a relatively large closet. The last thing you see before the door closes is El giving the two of you a double thumbs up, bless her heart, while Dustin, Lucas, and Max laugh their asses off. Nice. 

“And your timeeee starts – now,” You hear Chrissy’s girly giggle from outside of the door and make a mental note to throw a pompom at her during your next practice; she was one of the only people who knew about your crush on Mike and you just knew she was kicking her feet right now. 

And then…silence. Save for the dull thud of the music blaring outside the closet, it’s just you two, breathing in the dark. You fish around for a light and as soon as it clicks on you both seem to realize that you are way too close. 

You and Mike retreat to opposite sides of the closet and you busy yourself with looking at a pretty coat (it’s not pretty, it’s linty and has threads hanging off of it, it’s just pink). You hear him clear his throat and think about how hard it would be to fake your own death and move to Iceland. 

“So, uh, hi –” Hus stupid voice breaks through the silence and somehow your humiliation is taken over by an overwhelming urge to punch him, “Crazy seeing you here.”

And that’s what sends you into a fit of giggles. You shake your head, already crawling forward so you can sit next to him, close enough to smack his head lightly, “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Hey! I was trying to lighten the mood!” He laughs, swatting your arm away before pulling back to get a good look at you, smile fond. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. 

And then the reality of the situation sets in again and you both get quiet. 

“What do we – what are we supposed to do?” His voice is soft, honestly kind of worried, and you can’t bring yourself to throw him a light-hearted quip. 

“I mean – like, us in particular or the game?” His expression indicates the latter and you shrug, “Usually people make out. Sometimes they’re caught having sex, that’s why Chance said to knock on the door – you know, I have no clue how people have time to do that, but –” 

You cut yourself off, realizing you’re rambling again, and offer him a sheepish smile. God, you haven’t felt this nervous around him since you were ten and figured out what a crush was. 

“But, uh, yeah. That’s – usually what happens.” Why were you so nervous? You were in a closet with your best friend. So what?

“Okay, cool, cool, perfect, yeah –”  He nods, throwing his head back against the wall and running his hands down his face, “So what do we do, then?”

“Um – I dunno. Just sit here, I guess?” You grip his wrist to check his watch. The touch feels like it burns, “We have five minutes. You could start your ‘I told you so’ lecture about how I never should’ve dragged you to this party, we could devise a plan to kill the others when we get out of here, we coul–”

“Have you had your first kiss yet?”

You splutter, “W-what?”

“Your first kiss. You had it?”

“Well – no, but I don’t really see what that has to do with –”

“Why?”

“Are you insane?”

“Answer the question. You’ve had boyfriends.”

He’s right. You sit there and twiddle your thumbs, biting down on your bottom lip. How did you tell him that the reason those boyfriends had never lasted for more than a month was because they always ended up getting jealous of your nerd best friend, and you’d give them up in a heartbeat for him? How did you tell him you never had your first kiss because you were saving it for him?

So you do what you do best; you deflect.

“Well have you had yours?”

He has the audacity to look surprised. To scrunch his stupid eyebrows together and let his jaw drop. God, he’s so annoying. 

“Well no, but I think that’s kind of irr–”

“Why?” Your tone is mocking, your nose scrunching up while you do a crude imitation of his voice. Whiny and grating.

“I asked you first.”

“I asked you second.”

“Okay, and you always told me first is better, so I don’t think its very fair of you to–”

“I was saving it!” Your outburst cuts him off and your hands shoot up to cover your mouth, eyes wide like you can’t believe you just said that (you can’t).

“Saving it for what? For who? You could’ve had, like, all of those meatheads on the football team by now. You’re literally vice captain of the cheerleading squad, pompoms, the hell are you saving it for?”

“For someone special. But he’s a fucking idiot and can never take a hint.”

He looks at you in confusion. You think you can physically hear the clock ticking and your eye twitches.

“Oh my god — you, dipshit! It’s you!”

His eyes widen and he jumps. Jumps back. You want to die. You feel your entire life crumbling – having to explain to your friend group that you’ve left the country because you finally told Mike you liked him and he didn’t accept it, having to learn how to translate cheer skills into farming, having to –

You feel the pressure of lips against yours and your mind goes blank. Mike’s lips. Oh my god. Mike is kissing you. He’s got his big hands on your waist, tugging at the fabric of your shirt insistently and you all but clamber to seat yourself on his lap. 

You’re straddling him now, legs caging in bony hips, arms looped around his neck, and it feels nice. Right. Like two puzzle pieces. Millions of little butterflies erupt in your tummy and you think you’re shaking. His lips are so soft, everything you’d ever dreamed of and fantasized about and written in your stupid pink diary. 

He pulls back. Looks at you with half-lidded eyes. Gives you that stupid, stupid dopey smile that you hate so much and lets his hands fall to your hips, “Woah.” 

“Woah indeed, Mikey –” You giggle, feeling a bit hazy yourself. Is this what they feel like in the movies? “Such a romantic, aren’t you?”

He rolls his eyes, and you catch yourself counting the freckles across his nose. His voice snaps you out of it, “Sooo, we got –” He looks down at his watch, “Two minutes. Got any ideas on what to do for two minutes?”

Your lips curl up in a smirk and he almost groans when your hands tangle in his hair, long nails scratching against his scalp, “I’ve got a few ideas. Oh – wait up.”

He eyes you curiously, big brown eyes confused and looking like a lost puppy when you pull a hand from his hair, only to widen when you give one, two, three knocks on the door. A message. 

Your smirk only widens to a grin at the commotion it immediately causes – you hear Max gag, then El giggle, hear the distinct sound of Lucas hollering, and a chorus of groans from a frat’s worth of men who now realized you were off the market. You hear Dustin say “Finally, it’s only taken our entire lives” and you decide to plot his murder another time. 

You’ve got priorities. 

You turn back to the boy of your dreams, leaning forward to press your nose against his and grin. 

“Ever thought you’d have your first kiss and lose your virginity in the same night?”

“Nah, but I knew it’d be with you.”

“Oh, you asshole, don’t one up me like that.”

You cut off whatever he was going to reply with with another kiss, this time more passionate than the first one. Hungrier. You tug on his hair and use the opportunity of him gasping to slide your tongue against his, arching your chest into his with a whine. It’s perfect. 

You’ve both got a lot of time to make up for.

[deanismysavior]

This really put the nail in the coffin for me:

The Mike monologue to El is NOT supposed to come across as romantic, at least, not in the sense that you would expect.

In Mike's monologue, he tells El "You can do anything! You can fly. You can move mountains. I believe that."

This is important, because this part of the monologue sounds a whole heck of a lot like the speech that Brenner gives El when she tries to leave to go save Max.

In this scene, Brenner says, "You came to me broken, and you've learned to walk again, but if you want to stop One, you'll need to do more than walk. You will need to do more than run. You will need to fly."

This is not the first time in the season that we see Mike getting paralleled with Brenner. In fact, this happens at the end of the S4E2 when Mike sees El hit Angela over the head with a rollerskate and says "What did you do?," the exact same thing Brenner said after finding El in the rainbow room surrounded by the other lab kids who were all killed.

Before we get deeper into the monologue itself, let's take a look at the note that Mike and El leave their relationship on before she leaves. We see their fight in her bedroom where El brings up that Mike never expresses love to her. El tells Mike that she doesn't belong anywhere, and that everyone looks at her "like a monster," and accuses Mike of seeing her this way too. Here he deflects the allegations and calls her "Eleven," not El. When he attempts to mend this with her, he uses the words "incredible," and "superhero" to describe El.

We've already talked about the implications that using these adjectives describes idolization rather than love, but what's more here is that he puts the same emphasis on her powers that Brenner does. By referring to her as Eleven, not El or Jane, he subliminally sends the message that he is thinking of her as an "other," and to her, this holds the connotation of an experiment since that's what the numbers signified in Brenner's lab.

It is made very evident here that we are supposed to align Mike with Dr. Brenner.

Before El leaves, in her last scene with Mike when she is being placed in the cop car, we see him say to her, "Eleven, Eleven, listen to me, okay? Eleven, will you please look at me? Everything's going to be fine. I'm going to fix this."

Not only does he repeatedly once again call her Eleven, instead of the affectionate nickname he gave her, but he specifically uses the word "fix," perfectly mirroring what Brenner says when he refers to El as "broken."

So when we then see language from the same conversation El has with Brenner come back in during Mike's love confession with the word "fly," the viewer is once again subliminally meant to associate Mike with Dr. Brenner.

What's so interesting about this confession scene is that it also heavily mirrors Mike's shared memory with Will in season 2 as he's trying to break through the Mind Flayer's possession of Will.

In this scene, we see Mike describing the first time he met Will. We see Finn give a shockingly visually similar performance to his monologue with El, but here we see Mike shedding tears, and the way in which Finn delivers these lines is not frantic or off-the-cuff, but instead the tone is quiet and the strength of the speech lies solely in the emotion behind his words. This scene comes across as much more tender and genuine, and stands in stark contrast tonally to the way we see Mike speak to El.

Here, Mike says that he "felt so alone" during that first day of kindergarten, but then he "saw [Will] on the swings, and [he was] alone too," establishing a kinship and connection with Will immediately. Mike continues by saying, "I just walked up to you, and I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my friend. And you said yes. You said yes. It was the best thing I've ever done."

In this monologue, we not only see that similar language is used in the Mike love confession scene in which he tells El his "life started" when he found her in the woods, but we get this interesting contrast in which Mike's words are actually able to break through to Will here, whereas when he is confessing to El, Vecna's grip tightens until she looks over at Max.

By drawing this parallel, it simultaneously codes this monologue from season 2 in a romantic light, since we are meant now to associate the scene with the "romantic" love confession in season 4, but it also discredits the genuineness of Mike's season 4 monologue as we see the stark contrast in Finn's performance. In both scenes, the stakes were high and people he cared about were in danger, so why does one read with such deep emotion while the other comes off as clichéd and inconsistent with past events?

When we combine the messages of these two parallels in Mike's monologue we are left with a rather confusing and disturbing message: that Mike and El's relationship is entagled with other parties, and here's why it's important to consider these points together:

Subliminally, El is associating Mike's words during this monologue with the way Dr. Brenner makes her feel, while Mike subliminally associates his words in contrast to the way he feels about Will.

Therefore, for El, what's getting in the way of her relationship with Mike is that he seems to see her in a similar way to how Dr. Brenner does, zeroing in on her powers, her usefulness, and her otherness.

But for Mike, what's getting in the way of his relationship with El is repression and the complicated feelings he has for Will. I've tried, for arguments sake, to find a non-romantic reasoning for this parallel, but I really don't think there is one.

If we're able to take these parallels and draw these conclusions, then the exchange that occurred within the Mileven monologue is not the romantic triumph that I think a lot of casual viewers saw it as. We are meant to feel the wrongness in this scene.