#midlife gay crisis

[yojfull]

Deep in my introspective bullshit and feeling the gaps where friendships used to be. But the burden of reaching out over and over again, always initiating, became too much to bear. And maybe, they are glad I have stopped knocking. Now they don't have to answer.

[clownsuu]

the way you draw howdy and Wally is so euphoric

they make my brain go brrrrr

Evenly distributed personality smhhhh

[percyweasleyapologist]

Remus, watching Lily & Mary panic : What's going on?

Marlene: Lily is having a midlife crisis and Mary is just having a crisis.

[oneofthedrunksattheoverpass]

they definitely filmed 8x04 eddie begins again emotional shirtless mustache shaving gay realization last night

[felsicveins]

It's rough out here

@mutantninjamidlifecrisis

[ldlingsomewhere]

i think exodus and nightcrawler have a really weird relationship because exodus is like “ah yes... we are both men of god like we must talk, i have so little in common with the rest of these people on this forsakenly humid isle. i must ask; have you encountered the uncouth comments about ones... proclivities... this island stinks of deviancy and i struggle to bear it". and kurt is like “uhm vell safe sex is important and uhmmmm ah! hope! excellent you have returned” and hope and kurt like do the european cheek kisses thing and she's like “oh my god it's been so long since we've talked how's david i know you had a thing but now ruth is back how is that for you guys" and kurt is like looking back and forth between exodus and hope and hes like. “vell ve are… fine. zhey are together. ve are all fine. meggan has been staying vith us- vith me vhile she is... she and brian are 'on a break' i have been told” and exodus just gasps and hes like “egads! you… (12th century french homophobic slur)". and hope is like “i don’t know what that means but i'm so sorry we’re going to go now it was really nice to see you bye” and she drags exodus away and is like “please stop calling our friends and coworkers homophobic slurs” and he's like pouting and he's like “you said you didn't know what i said” and shes like “it was abundantly clear to literally everyone that it was a slur”

[prozac-shaped-urn]

I am……. DEEPLY unwell

[sienna-sketches]

Some fanart of Stede and Ed 

I spent longer than I’d like to admit drawing this.

Lets talk about when the silly guy to your left splits up all the couples on board in the last episode. Saltier than the seven seas. 

[alchemocha]

Robotnik looking at Stone one day and just… staring… thinking, until he comes to a sudden and impromptu decision one day.

“Why don’t we leave and never come back!”

He decides then, while looking at Stone, that it doesn’t matter what they do or where they are, if Stone’s there, they can do anything together. So why not just runaway for a while and leave it all behind? Enough of the incompetent government breathing down their necks, they could just live. And Robotniks not sure what this feeling is or what this impulse is but he’s so ready to just run. Not in defeat, not out of fear, but just because they can!

[player1064]

ok i genuinely can’t stop thinking about this now it’s half 12 what have you done to me 😂 expanding off that last drabble gary introducing jamie to the class of 92 and making like a big thing of coming out to them and then being like yeah duh we’ve known this forever and just jamie laughing his ass off in the background

I LOVE WRITING CLASS OF 92 FRIENDSHIP!!!!! Even though Ryan and Nicky both SUCK in real life and I HATE them so I guess in a way every fic I write that features them is an au where they DONT suck 💔

Also yes this is 1.4k words long I uh. yeah I'm having too much fun w all these drabbles dkafgshfsjdgf

---

“Jamie?” Gary asks one morning while they’re sat in bed, quietly scrolling on their phone.

“Mmm?”

“You workin’ this Saturday?”

“Uhh, lemme check,” Jamie says, squinting even with his glasses on as he taps at his phone. “Doesn’t look like it, no, guess I’m all yours. Unless Salford’s playing at home, ‘cause then I am much too busy to go watch a football game.”

Gary reaches out to smack him on the arm. “Don’t act like y’don’t love it, I’ve seen you cheer just as loud as the rest of us when we win.”

“Well, I love somethin’,” Jamie says with a fond smile, and Gary smacks him in the arm again because he’s already finished his coffee and is much too alert for all that ‘just woken up’ sappy nonsense.

“Ungrateful prick,” grumbles Jamie, still much too fondly for Gary’s liking. “So, we’re goin’ to a game?”

“If tha’s alright. I mean, y���don’t have to come, obviously, but I like it when you do.”

“You like it when I’m – what’s wrong w’you, then?”

“Christ, nothing, see if I say somethin’ nice to you again,” Gary says. “I just. Erm. I’ve been thinkin’, lately, that I’m maybe ready to tell the boys. And I thought probably this weekend’s a good time, with Phillip home and that. So. Would be nice if you were there, for moral support like.”

“You sneaky bitch, you’ll resort to anything t’get me to come watch your shitty little team play, won’t ya?”

Gary has to bite back a smile, because there’s been quite enough sappy nonsense for one morning already.

“Thanks, James.”

“’Course, love,” Jamie says before he reaches across and pokes him in the side. He picks up his phone again, and Gary notes with some pride that he's not doing nearly as good a job at hiding his smile.

*

“So I s’pose you’re all wonderin’ why I’ve gathered you here today.”

Gary watches his friends exchange glances with each other, before Nicky frowns and says “I mean, we were all here already to be fair. Same as every week.”

“Well actually some of us ‘ave jobs, Butty, and we can’t be faffing about watching Salford every weekend.”

“Salford is my job, you –” he purses his lips and turns to Phil and Scholesy. “Not worth it, is it?”

They both shake their heads.

“Yeah, alright. So why’re we gathered here today then, Nev?”

It all of a sudden feels much too real, what Gary’s trying to do. He considers backing out, not like they’ll know any different, but –

But Jamie’s sitting in the corner, pretending to quietly look at his phone so that Gary could talk with his friends alone. Gary glances over to him and gets a private little smile in response. He smiles back, maybe a bit wobbly, and clears his throat.

“Right, yeah. You lot are like brothers to me, y’know that right? I mean, obviously only Phillip is my actual  brother, but you get what I’m sayin’. An’ I know we’ve got each other’s backs, so I’ve just been thinkin’, like. It feels weird that I’ve had this like, I mean it’s been more’n thirty years, hasn’t it, and it seems wrong that I’m still keepin’ secrets from you all after all this time. I didn’t want anything t’change, y’know? But, erm. I dunno. I’m gay, I guess is what I’m tryin’ to say.”

He takes a deep breath when he stops talking, stares at a spot in the top corner of the room so that he doesn’t have to watch them all react.

It’s silent for a moment, then Phil hums and says “So, erm. What’s this secret of yours, then?”

Gary blinks.

He knows that at times he can talk too fast, that he has a tendency to ramble, but surely he’d given enough gravity to it that it wouldn’t just get lost in the mix.

“That – that I’m gay,” he croaks, as hard as it is to force himself to say it again. “I like men, like.”

He manages to get himself to look at his friends again in the silence that follows, watches them all having a seemingly heated conversation through facial expressions alone before Scholesy huffs in frustration and turns away from them, steps forwards to pat Gary on the shoulder.

“Thanks for tellin’ us, Gaz,” he says gently. “Means a lot, that y’trust us with it.”

Behind him, Phil nods earnestly, while Nicky and Ryan both tilt their heads back and groan.

“Oh my god, you can’t be serious,” Ryan says. “Paul, he doesn’t need coddling, he’s a grown man.”

Gary feels his stomach drop.

He knows, he knows that they’re all footballers, that they’re of a certain generation, he wasn’t expecting to be welcomed with open arms, but he’d thought – thirty years, surely that must count for something.

He looks desperately back at Jamie, sees him slip his phone in his pocket and stand up, ready to step in, or to drive Gary home, or just do anything other than this, but then Nicky shoves Ryan and says “Jesus, Giggsy, d’you have to be such a cunt about it though? Nev, don’t look so forlorn, like, none of us care that you’re gay. It’s just – well, we’ve been not carin’ about your being gay since we were fifteen.”

“You what?”

Scholesy and Phillip at least have the decency to look embarrassed, shuffling their feet awkwardly and staring down at the ground.

Gary shakes his head a few times, tries to rattle out the ringing in his ears, then starts pacing back and forth when that doesn’t work.

“Y’re talkin’ nonsense, wha’d’you mean since w’were fifteen,” he says, his words all rushing together in his attempt to get them out past the rising panic he feels. “I weren’t even gay then, I had girlfriend at school an’ all, there weren’t any me bein’ gay fer you to not care about! Only became gay a few years ago, anyway. After I retired, like.”

“Oh my god,” he hears Jamie mutter behind him, so he turns to shoot him a glare.

Scholesy’s now joined Ryan and Nicky in staring at him wide-eyed like he’s lost his mind, but at least he’s still got Phil on side.

Except, then Phil puts on a high-pitched voice and says “Oh, Phillip, d’you think I should ask Becks where he gets his hair cut, doesn’t he have the most amazing hair. Phillip, d’you think he ‘ad braces when he were younger, how’d’you think ‘is smile got so nice? Phillip, d’you mind if we don’t room together anymore, I think I’m going t’ask Becks if he wants to instead, Phillip –”

“—Alright, alright,” Gary says to cut him off, already feeling his cheeks flush. “We get the picture, ta very much.”

He gets the picture a little too well, because suddenly an entire lifetime’s worth of memories have been thrown off kilter, have been tainted by the implication that – but he hadn’t. He hadn’t been gay! And he’d had a perfectly normal appreciation for his best friend’s hair and smile!

Ryan grins at Phil, then puts on his own ‘Gary voice’ and adds “Ooh, Ruud’s very tall, in’t he Giggsy? An’ he’s strong, too, d’you see him lift me up on pitch earlier, ‘s like I weighed nothin’.”

Well, Ruud is very tall, Gary doesn’t see what’s wrong with pointing that out.

He turns back to Jamie, hoping his supposedly loving and supportive boyfriend is going to come defend his honour, to agree with him that it’s perfectly normal to admire your teammates and also that his voice was never that squeaky, thank you very much. Unfortunately for Gary, though, the idiot is looking on with glee in his eyes, the hand over his mouth not doing much to disguise the laughter that’s shaking his whole body.

“Oh, not you an’ all!” he complains, scowling when Jamie responds by stepping closer and throwing an arm over his shoulders.

“Aw, Gaz,” he says with a chuckle, “what’re we gonna do w’you, eh?”

*

It’s only later, when he’s about to fall asleep, that something finally clicks into place in his brain.

“Jamie?”

“Shut up, ‘m sleepin’.”

“Jamie, did I ‘ave a crush on Becks?”

“Oh my god,” Jamie groans, then pulls a pillow over his head and rolls over, turning his back to Gary.

[yojfull]

If perchance you are the sun,

Then I must be the moon.

Your glowing fire gives me light

To pierce the midnight gloom

If perchance you are the rain,

Then I must be the earth.

Hungry for your flowing life

So that flowers can burst forth

If perchance you are the sea,

Then I must be the shore.

But for the million mile we touch

I am always craving more

[joleneghoul]

i think abt this a lot actually

[smartichokes]

WILSON EPISODE

[unnamed-idi0t]

he's so oblivious I can't-

anywho little excerpt from Mutant Ninja Midlife Crisis

[estomia]

Ist dieser Mann biologisch homosexuell?

[dingle-biter]

My pokemon is evolving guys!!