#metabolic food

[noodly-chimera]

Alfred finds it very gratifying, as all grandparents do, to feed the new child with a literal black hole of a stomach

The memes used:

[nshi-ao3]

Sorry, I might be having a bit too much fun with this setting (and making Spiderverse references) haha. I should probably get back to work??

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

given the firestorm of controversy and accusations of war/hate crimes leveled against me, I've documented my process for the Bone Broth Hot Chocolate, just for you, my beloved followers and mutuals

first you're gonna combine your 1/2 cup beef broth and 1/4 cup milk into a saucepan and heat it on low

then you're gonna combine your 1.5 tbsp cocoa powder, your 1 scoop collagen, and honey to taste in your mug of choice, with a splash of boiling water from the kettle

then you're gonna pour the saucepan contents into your mug and froth

et voila! now go forth and be nourished

[milimeters-morales]

Miles and his "rarely feel hungry, just the side effects of not eating" autism and Hobie's "never know when to stop eating" autism and Gwen's "so many bad textures I fight to keep it down" autism all talking to each other about this and about to learn that no, this isn't how everybody eats at all

[sergle]

I think my favorite thing about doing ginger red hair instead of cherry red hair is: lying to people about it

[ellenchain]

New month, new otter fact:

"Otters are real eating machines. They consume 15 to 20 per cent of their body weight in food every day. The skin under their arms is often used to store crustaceans."

[marvel-lous-guy]

Peter: Mr Stark, I'm hungry

Tony: what do you want to eat?

Peter: I don't know

Tony: Well think about it then we can order something

Peter: But I'm too hungry to think

Tony: Then tell me what you wanna eat and I'm order it!

Peter: But I don't know what I want to eat!

Tony: Oh my god! I'm so done with your shit! I'm ordering pizza

Peter: I DON'T WANT A FUCKING PIZZA

[paperbaldi]

This is how I would draw Baldi suffering

[maybe-a-dinosaur]

matsukawa issei the type of guy to eat while he walks. like yeah he could sit down but maybe he’s got places to be and if the craving strikes who is he to ignore it. he does all the normal ones like corndogs or things on sticks and he’ll drink a smoothie while he walks or eat the occasional fry out his takeout bag like that’s nothing to crazy. but . But. it doesn’t stop there. he’ll eat an entire burger on the go like pop it out of the bag in the middle of the sidewalk. if he’s carrying a pizza somewhere he eats it en route opens the box grabs a piece closes the box both hands full slice folded like a taco. he’ll eat shit out of tupperware containers with a fork while walking like salad noodles you name it the lack of a table is Not getting in his way. even driving his car at a stoplight he grabs a dinner plate and chopsticks from the passenger seat beside him and chows down till the light turns green. he does not let the haters stop him he will hold eye contact in the middle of the sidewalk unashamedly eating while he walks.

[gameboybuddha]

It’s funny, I’m not stuffing currently, and yet my belly has stayed round and soft. Perhaps eating large amounts of junk food all the time has ruined my metabolism.

[zaine-the-cat-meme-generator]

[wakingbreathlessly]

i don’t want to deprive myself of food anymore

[screambirdscreaming]

Reading about medicinal plants again and the funniest category of uses to me will always be "Well Maybe You Need Some Slime For That"

like: mallow. All the mallows, basically, make this nice soothing slippery mucus when extracted in water. And the traditional uses are like.... sore throat, cough, rash, irritated gut, irritated bladder, colicky baby, baby with sore gums from teething... maybe just put some slime on that. Might help.

[kindred-spirit-93]

penelope canonically retreating to her room and refusing food = she puts on some weight, the reason being both lack of physical activity as well as her body being on constant emergency mode (so what little she does eat ends up being stored away bc the body doesnt know when the 'starvation' will end). whats more her constant stress elevates cortisol levels which in and of itself leads to weight gain esp in the abdominal area.

tl;dr chubby penelope send fucking t w e e t

[transmechanicus]

Woke up from my little power outage nap and couldn’t even manage to eat a full box of macked cheese, grad school will fuck you up for life kids, do it at your own risk.

[lecaudal]

To find out how many chilli hot dogs Sonic needs to maintain his speed we first need to figure out the nutritional value of his main food source. With some very rudimentary math we can come up with this. I’m going to assume that since all animals are people on Mobius that the hot dogs are made of soy and the chilli is vegetarian. Here are the basic nutritional facts of Sonic’s chilli hot dogs:

Calories: 445 kcal

Total Fats: 11.1g

Carbohydrates: 70g

Sugar: 9.4g

Protein: 20.5g

Sodium: 1606mg

I’m doing the calculations for two different speeds, for his ‘canon’ speed and for an estimated actual speed. The speed of sound is 1,235 km/h, and for the other speed we’ll be looking at I’ll examine the Escape from the City scene in Sonic Adventure 2. There’s no way Sonic is moving that fast here because of the fact that a gigantic two-lane wide three story tall truck can keep up with him, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and say he’s running at 500 km/h here.

The base calorie per hour rate of a 16 year old child, which I’m assuming Sonic has a metabolism and digestive tract similar to because of his appearance, is 362 calories per hour, as calculated below.

Now we multiply the base rate by Sonic’s speed divided by the child’s speed, which is 10 km/h, to get the amount of calories burned per hour by Sonic at both speeds, calculated below.

Now we divide this number by the amount of calories per serving in one chilli hot dog, which is 445.

And there we have our final numbers! 41 chilli hot dogs per hour to maintain a speed of 500 kilometres per hour, and 101 chilli hot dogs per hour for a speed of 1235 km/h, or the speed of sound.

Something to note here is we rarely see Sonic run for extended amounts of time, usually just a few seconds to a few minutes. I don’t think he’s ever run for an hour straight at least on screen, so that means he probably wouldn’t need to eat 101 hot dogs in one sitting, but he still would need quite a lot, perhaps even that many or more, over the course of a day.

Some pros and cons of his diet is the protein would help slowly repair the muscle tearing that would occur from constant running, and the high carbohydrate content would be useful for quickly usable energy, all of which results in a balanced macronutrient profile. Some cons are that first of all, the sodium content is absolutely insane when scaled up to that amount. Sonic would have to drink lots of water to inhibit the dehydration that much sodium would create. Also, eating that much food would take a while to digest, but as we see Sonic down tens of them in seconds I can only assume his metabolism is just as fast as he is.

Also I'm not a biologist or a food scientist or anything like that so it's very likely the way I went about calculating this is completely wrong. I looked all these formulas up lol.