#what i am saying is they now take better care of themselves and each other

[someonecradlemeintheirarms]

listen, there's no public library where i'm from, and i look on in wonder whenever i read about them, or in the instances i have been able to visit them in other places. but i do know of one a few "states" over (i'm not form the usa, but don't know what else to call it. county?) that has done MASSIVE work for the betterment of the community it is a part of.

betterment like the whole area going from the poorest and most badly educated in the entire country to rising hundreds of spots in the national education stats in a matter of years (very fast), to the point the government dead-ass went there to see wtf was up, because they could not fathom such a drastic and quick change happening. they thought it was cheating, but no. it was the library, raising the bar for children's education and providing the resources, the safe place, the food, that the children needed to thrive. as well as many—Many, not a few—now even having access to and going to higher education (!!!), like university and trade school.

the overall quality of life of all citizens has become increasingly better in a way never before seen in the entire country. the library has worked with people, taught people, mostly through the children (children are the future, no?), so that they can make better lives for themselves and others. it has helped the entire community rise. "give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. teach a man to fish, they will be fed their whole lives". they gave them a fish, and then, with full bellies (literally and figuratively, covering the basic needs so the children could even learn at all), taught them how to fish. and they are all so much better for it.

the library also not only helped children who were in school, it encouraged, successfully, more children to be sent to school by their parents. they made it worth more for the parents to send their children to school than to put them to work. they made sure not only the boys but also the girls got an education. i think it was two years ago that some of their first girls who went to the library years ago (they are adults now) led an empowering women congress in another country, with the participation of several countries. read that again. for some of them, they went from a girl eating one tomato a day (not an exaggeration, and, yes, i do mean that was the entire meal for each day), to leading an international congress. this change has happened in a single lifespan! less than a lifespan, even! that is incredible! and things just keep on getting better and better!! they have even risen the alphabetism rates among the adults. and the library does so much more than just academic help and lending out books. the how belongs in another post i will probably never make, but just know it.

i... there is so much to say about this library, but i am terrible with words. started and run at first by a single woman, helped to thrive first with donations (and still is), and now with the help of the community it has given so much to. i could go on for days on the things, on singular stories, this library has made.

but the bottom line is, this library did not only change lives, it saved them. and i'm sure this is the case for many, everywhere in the world.

so:

use and take care of your libraries.

they are an incredible resource we have to conserve. like op said, remind the library that it's loved and cherished

listen you NEED to borrow that book from the library. i know youve got like 10 other books lined up to be read but you need to go to the library. remind the library that it's loved and cherished

[kindred-spirit-93]

penelope canonically retreating to her room and refusing food = she puts on some weight, the reason being both lack of physical activity as well as her body being on constant emergency mode (so what little she does eat ends up being stored away bc the body doesnt know when the 'starvation' will end). whats more her constant stress elevates cortisol levels which in and of itself leads to weight gain esp in the abdominal area.

tl;dr chubby penelope send fucking t w e e t

[jeonjaemark]

advent calendar || jeon wonwoo

content warning: none || masterlist

“do you feel better now?��� i whined, looking down at him.

“no, i still need to recharge.” wonwoo singsongs, snuggles deeper into me.

i roll my eyes out of annoyance when i noticed my abandoned book left on the other side of his bed. for the past ten minutes wonwoo and i have been entangled with one another since he got eliminated from his current game. he didn’t care to announce himself or do anything but interrupt my reading and cuddle with me.

wonwoo tightens his arms around my waist. if i wasn’t in the middle of reading the chapter where asher ditched his big soccer match for scarlett, i would actually be happy to cuddle with wonwoo, but right now i wanted to strangle him.

“how’s your book?”

“do.not.ask.me.that.question.” my voice simmering with quite rage. i glare into his brown eyes as he smiles up at me with pleasure.

“someone opened her book the wrong way today.” he singsongs teasingly.

“someone will end up with a broken arm if they don’t untangle themselves and let me finish the chapter i am reading.” i deadpan.

he chuckles burying his face into me, “cute.”

“you know if i didn’t know you two, i would assume you’re dating.” mingyu chimes from the doorway.

wonwoo and i exchange a brief eye contact. something sparks between us but we both look away before either of us could say something.

“i thought you left already?” wonwoo’s voice softly.

“i am just leaving but i wanted to stop by your room real quick to see my favorite couple.”

“we are not a couple.” i spat.

“then why are you wearing wonwoo’s hoodie in wonwoo’s bed cuddling with wonwoo? you know you two look quite comfortable. all he has to do is lean up and wonwoo can kiss you.” mingyu teases.

i glance down at my outfit and feel my body start to go warm feeling flustered. mingnth did have a point but he never lets me breathe without joking about how wonwoo and i are couple or could be couple. honestly i would be lying if i said i don’t think about wonwoo and i being more than friends because i do. moments like this where we are cuddling in his bed and he teases me about the current book i am reading and the lines of couple and friend blur. i mentally smack myself from spiraling deeper into thoughts and look back at mingyu.

“just get out of here and go on your gym date with dino.” i scoffed.

“being kicked out of my own house by my best friend’s best friend, that’s new.” his voice dripping with sarcasm. he sticks his tongue out me, “let me know if anything changes between you since i am the other half that lives here too. i would like an advance warning before everyone else.”

i reach for wonwoo’s pillow launching in his directions but mingyu misses my hit when closes the door. wonwoo laughs walking back to his computer.

“you know he only does that to get a rise out of you, right? you always cave into his attention.”

“yeah, i know. i gotta throw him a bone every now and then otherwise i have no one to go back and forth with.” i giggled, falling back further into wonwoo’s bed.

i reach over for my book getting lost in the pages. wonwoo groans stretching out his body before heading down the hall for the restroom. i set my book down too taking my annual stretch. when i stretch my arms my fingers reach a thin silky paper under his other pillows.

christmas wrapping paper. wonwoo must have been wrapping gifts before i arrived. i reach for my book again trying to read but it didn’t last very long. my mind kept wandering back to the gifts wonwoo could have wrapped.

who’s gift was it? what did he get? how many gifts did this person get? did he spend all year saving up for it? did it cost him a fortune?

i push myself off the bed and went straight to rummaging through his closet. luckily his clothes were all neatly folded which made it easier to skim through the different drawers and cubes. each slam of the cubes or drawers lead to dead end. i skim through the top shelf of his closet hoping to find a wrapped gift.

“where is it? where is it?” i thought to myself.

“what do you think you’re doing?” wonwoo voice echoes

“i am definitely not snooping or trying to find my christmas gift from you.” i deadpan, turning around at the sound of his voice. “i was just looking for my shirt that i left here last time.

“ it’s still in the hamper. haven’t done laundry yet.” he says watching me carefully.

i peer behind him noticing the wrapping paper near his desk. if wonwoo suspicious of me snooping he did a good job pretending to not notice.

he leans down to his desk and taps his fingers onto his keyboard, his voice cool and calm, “i didn’t wrap your christmas presents yet.”

my body freezes in place and i turn to look at him as warmth floods my cheeks. he knows. i have been caught. a teasing grin forms at his lips making me want to smack him or kiss him. i shudder at the latter walking back to his bed. there is no point in further searching.

wonwoo falls quiet except for talking into his headset with his other team mates. other than that his fingers did most of the work. there was something comforting and relaxing when i heard the the clicks of wonwoo’s keyboard. usually i have my headphones on when i read because the clicking can be distracting but most times when i am not reading i love listening to the sound. i don’t even realize i have doze off in his bed until i wake up an hour later. i reach my hand out over my body realizing wonwoo had put a blanket on me while i was napping.

“hey sleepyhead, are you fully awake now?” wonwoo asked, from his computer.

i groan nodding my head at him. he glances between his monitor and screen to look at me giggling to himself. he doesn’t walk over to me right away. he gives me some time to fully adjust to my surroundings and being awake. i ended up scrolling through my phone for a good ten minutes when he finally stood up and shuts off his computer.

“i have a little surprise for you.” he tells me. “you have to close your eyes first.”

i furrow my eyebrows together curiously, staring at him. wonwoo doesn’t move. he waits for me to close my eyes. i cover my hands over my eyes when i hear shuffling and wonwoo repeatedly reminding me to not peek and keep my eyes covered. each reminder he gave me, i would respond to saying that i am covering my eyes and not peeking.

the bed dips underneath me as he takes a seat next to me. his breath heavy and warm near my skin. if i move my hand to his chest, i swear i could feel his pulse racing like mine.

“okay open your eyes.” his voice mixed with excitement and nerves.

i flutter my eyes open adjusting to my surroundings again. wonwoo holds a giant white woven basket decorated with purple and blue ribbons in the handle. the basket filled with multiple prettily wrapped rectangles covered in snowflakes. i noticed the giant words on the front of the basket reading ‘bookvent calendar”.

“oh my god! jeon wonwoo, what did you do?” i try my best to suppress my smile, skimming through each wrapped book.

“i made you a book advent calendar.” he swipes his hand over the basket.

“yes, i can see that but how?”

my heart bursts with excitement skimming through each carefully wrapped book labeled with a number. i noticed a little card attached to the first book and opened it.

welcome to your annual december book advent christmas calendar. open one book each day according to the date up until christmas eve. enjoy, my favorite book reader. (p.s you have to record your reaction to opening each book you open)

- love your favorite gamer

wonwoo goes into explaining how he thought of the idea. how he kept tabs on the books i have read already, what books i talked about wanting to read, and the different types of special editions to my favorite series. every time i talked with him he was able to narrow down his selection to the books he has wrapped in the basket. the way his eyes light up when talking about how the idea came to him and the way his smile only grew bigger and bigger while he explained. something warm and fuzzy floods through my vein making it hard to breathe properly.

“i know how much you love reading and how happy it makes you. plus i know when you a book becomes your favorite because you can yap for hours about it or if you didn’t like it then i will never hear you talk about it after the first read.” he smiles. “sometimes when i am playing my games on my computer and i see you reacting to your books, i will either pause my game or just lose just to watch your reaction cause —“

there haven’t been many moments in my life where i was genuinely left speechless and giddy. this is one of those rare moments. to hear wonwoo confess that he loves when i talk about my books to him and how he likes seeing my reactions to them left a warm and giddy feeling. i wanted to sob on the spot over how attentive he is to me. no one in the world would have thought to have done this for me but he did this for me.

“your silence scares me a little. what do you think?” his voice concerned, staring back at me.

“i think i just fell more in love with you.” i mumbled. it took me a second to realize my words and see wonwoo’s eyes widen in shock. “i-i mean…”

“you’re in love with me?” he asked. a hint of amusement in his voice.

“i-i was talking about the books.” i clarified. “how i am in love with the books that you’ve gotten to me.”

he raises an eyebrow, “you don’t even know which books i got you yet.”

“true but that doesn’t mean i can’t be more in love with them.” i straighten my shoulders, exhaling and inhaling slowly to calm my racing pulse.

“can i ask you something?”

i nod.

“you have read so many romance books, if you could write one about us, what trope would you give us? forced proximity? friends to lovers?” he glances at me knowingly.

“you’re not going to let this one go, are you?”

he shakes his head amused, “not until you’re ready to confess what we both heard.”

the corners of my lips rise, “i am in love with jeon wonwoo and this book advent calendar confirmed it even more for me.”

“since you’re so in —-“

“i did not say so in love.” i spat defensively, shoving his shoulders.

“okay, since you’re in love with me, how about i pick you up for dinner on wednesday?” he grins.

“this feels like you’re just teasing me.” i giggled embarrassed.

“i have no ill intentions wanting to pursue you. i believe someone said earlier that if they didn’t know us, they would’ve assumed we were dating and honestly i have been thinking about us and dating for the last few months now.”

“so why say something now?” i questioned.

“cause the girl i am in love with just confessed she has mutual feelings for me too.” his voice soft and warm, making me smirk.

[threeacttragedy]

Entry 2 – The One About the Likes

As you will soon figure out, I will be bouncing around from topic to topic. It will all be Lukola-related, of course, but the information and speculation I discuss may not be in any particular order. However, I will add in dates of reference to help organize your thoughts.

In my first post, I mentioned our three fan-types. Because this is only my second entry, I will touch on them again.

The Sincerely Ignorant are those that follow blindly. We all know a Sincerely Ignorant. If you’re the type of person who spirals uncontrollably at the hint of bad news, I’m sorry to tell you this, you’re likely a Sincerely Ignorant. But, don’t run! I want to help calm you the fuck down.

The Conscientiously Stupid are the people who push a narrative without considering other evidence being provided to them. We’re all Conscientiously Stupid from time to time, but this category – at least in my blog – is typically reserved for the Jakholes, the A-Holes, the Anti-Lukes, and now apparently the Anti-Nics. That’s not to say Lukolas are not also Conscientiously Stupid. We are human after all.

The Fact Finders are those that collect information and share it. They may speculate on it, but they do not manipulate it. We simply argue our case and provide the evidence in support of our arguments.

Now jumping into what I wanted to discuss today –

The likes.

The motherfucking likes on Instagram.

My disclaimer today: I am only discussing the likes between Nicola and Luke in this post; however, I will use a third party to put things into perspective. This is intentional. The “adjacent” (I hate that word, by the way) likes are a separate post all on their own – but I’ll summarize it for you because, on the surface (speculation aside), it’s quite black and white. Jake likes Nicola’s posts; Nicola likes Jake’s posts; Antonia likes Luke’s posts; Luke likes Antonia’s posts. Let the meltdowns begin.

Done?

Okay. Back to the likes between Nicola and Luke���

It’s the same old song and dance.

Every.

Single.

Time.

Nicola post to her grid.

Jake likes it within a small timeframe.

Luke – maybe he likes it, maybe he doesn’t.

The Conscientiously Stupid attack and the Sincerely Ignorant spiral. And the Fact Finders take a deep breath and prepare themselves to walk the Sincerely Ignorant back on board the USS Lukola. I’m mean, it’s exhausting for everyone.

Do Luke’s likes really matter? No, in most instances, they don’t.

Do Jake’s likes really matter? Same as above! No, in most instances, they don’t.

Let’s take Nicola’s BFF JVN for example. He usually likes Nicola’s posts, right? In fact, some days, he’s just as fast as Jake. And, what about Dylan Brady? Talk about a friend who puts an instant-like on Nicola’s posts! And, another thing – both JVN and Dylan have been known to repost Nicola’s stuff to their own stories. However, no one cares about that or considers any of these “side characters” because they’re not Luke or Jake. I get it. But, let’s consider a few things.

First, JVN has liked most of Nicola’s posts except for the “NY Rats” one [which I will not speculate about right now]. But, let’s use the “NY Rats” post as a reference point. Nicola posted that October 17. Did you know that JVN has posted 14 times on his own grid since then? And, did you know that Nicola has only liked two of those 14? Holy shit, they must despise each other, right? Or, is it more likely that (a) Nicola is busy or (b) so close to JVN she doesn’t feel the need to like every single one of his posts? Now, I want you to answer this question with all honesty: Based on this information, do you have any concerns about Nicola’s relationship with JVN? If you answered yes, why?

Now let’s consider this next part, which is in the same vein as the above. Did you know that Nicola has liked most of Luke’s grid posts? Did you know that out of the last 14 posts made by Nicola to her grid, Luke has only liked eight? That’s barely over half (but, hey, better than Nicola’s average with JVN!). If you go back even further, you’ll find this is Luke’s modus operandi. He doesn’t like every goddamn post Nicola throws up.  Even throughout the World Tour, he wasn’t liking all of Nicola’s posts. Did this bother you then? Is it possible Luke is (a) not that into social media, (b) busy, or (c) so close to Nicola he doesn’t feel the need to like every single one of her posts? Let me ask you the same question I asked above: Based on this information, do you have any concerns about Luke’s relationship with Nicola? If you answered yes, why?

Okay, I’m going to assume some people are bothered by this Luke-Like bit so let’s keep discussing it for a moment.

Did you know that since January 1, 2024, Nicola has made nine IG grid posts that relate to a political viewpoint? Did you know that Luke has only liked one of those nine posts? In fact, I was quite shocked that Luke liked Nicola’s October 15 post of her Time100 speech (if you haven’t watched her speech, it’s on her IG grid). In my opinion, Luke liking this post is far more significant than Luke liking, say, her third grid post about her Time cover. He’s seemingly agreeing with her political stance.

This was a change in modus operandi. A small change, indeed, but interesting.

[orleans-jester]

“Now that would be entertaining to see. Especially if you two do the awkward dance of trying to pass each other but stepping in each other’s way,” Figaro said. Bright sides, sunny sides, you had to have the light to be able to have the dark too. Figaro tried to keep the balance.

Chili Dogs. Now that sounded good. Just the thought of it was enough to get the hunger going, the saliva flowing, despite being in this stink of a place. “Fuck it, we’re sneaking into Halloweentown one of these days. Once you try one of their Chili Cheese Dogs, your life isn’t going to be the same.”

Hansel as a handsome guy though? “It’s weird,” They said. “I feel somewhat … almost maternal over him? Guess I kind of am a parent now.”

What an odd thing to think about. What an odd thing to realize. In Funkytown, the dynamic hadn’t really changed. Figaro was in charge but hardly ever acted on it. It felt - wrong, somehow, to try to take control, having watched Gepetto give them their own autonomy, their own thoughts, their own actions. So Mr Punch kept being uncontrollable. Hansel kept living in the walls and being a bit of a pervert, his human body still having human feelings, thrusting against a wall while watching through a peephole.

“Yup, keeping this on me,” They agreed. It was not a good smell. Eventually all of the flesh and organs would rot away and then it would just be bones, which didn’t have as bad of a smell, but right now, it was pretty rank. The place needed some sort of Fabreeze cleansing. Or maybe Frank and Delta spent so much time up in their castle, they didn’t even know that it smelt so bad down here. They needed some sort of comment box, in Figaro’s opinion.

All of their information about guns came from movies and videogames. They knew at the very least to turn on the safety for now, until they would need it. “All I need are some green plants, and we’ve gone totally Resident Evil in this bitch.”

Great minds think alike. Figaro was also all about upgrading their setup at home. Getting a bigger TV, though the vintage one had been moved into their room, because they weren’t going to get rid of Gepetto’s things, other than giving some to Willem, of course. But it felt like he was one of Gep’s kids too. The stuff was THEIRS. Not just inherited by Fig. Better sound system, more gizmos and gadgets.

Figaro let Willem take the lead since they didn’t know their way around the apartment block. They had the gun in hand, waiting for a chance to use it. To ‘blast them’ as Thomas would say. Their knowledge of annoying curses and animal speak wasn’t the most useful for a zombie situation, except to get birds and other animals to let them know where the zombies themselves were. They had to bring out the big guns.

They didn’t say anything about Willem having the key. It just made sense, given that he came to visit the dolls. Others might have found it a bit romantic, perhaps, that he kept visiting his ex’s apartment, taking care of her things. But Figaro just found it practical.

The two of them went through the building, checking around corners, making sure that there wasn’t something waiting on just the other side. But it looked as if the building had mostly been cleaned out. Any life that was here that would have drew the zombies in, disappeared a long time ago. Still, once inside of the apartment, Figaro turned the lock on the door to feel a touch safer.

Though they were anxious to get at that Hawaiian shirt collection that hopefully had not been eaten away from bugs or faded by light coming in through the windows, they were curious about Livvy’s room, and would follow Willem inside. It wasn’t exactly what they had expected.

The shelves were new, and taken care of, that much was clear. It wasn’t covered in dust and cobwebs like everything else. The dolls seemed to be in a place of prevalence. They stood out, like they were an important item in a video game or something, rendered more predominantly.

“I’m a little surprised,” They admitted, hands on their hips, looking at the girliness of the room, the teal color that was on everything, the bit of a mess of clothes from when Livvy was deciding what to pack all that time ago for the big boat trip. “I was expecting a huge shrine to you,” They said, looking to Willem. “Or did you get embarrassed and take that down?”

They weren’t trying to be funny or teasing, that’s genuinely what Figaro thought that they would walk into when it came to Livvy’s space. A whole wall plastered with pictures of Willem, maybe some with Fig but with Fig’s face cut out or something like that. Pieces of his hair, his toenail clippings, on a shelf. This was a voodoo town after all, it wouldn’t be hard for some white girl to get their hands on some sort of love potion or DIY-Voodoo-Doll set. But it was actually pretty … relaxed in here.

They were watching Willem more than the dolls after that, making sure that he was going to be alright while doing this. But maybe it was something that he just needed to do, the way that some people just needed a big cry. Something about it being cathartic.

‘Miss her if she comes back.’ ‘Don’t get too lonely.’

It was … kind of sad.

“Yes, I’ll leave you guys to talk and gossip and … do whatever it is that y’all do in here, no judgment,” They said, putting their hands up and backed out of the room slowly. “I’ll come find ya once I finish raiding that closet.”

"Cool, we're the pineapple under the sea crew if Iorek's in."

Normal chatter until Livvy came up. There was Figaro looking on the bright though.

"True. She's not dead. At least I'm not mourning her legendary pirate soul." He started to grin at the simple act of calling her a pirate recalling how she got her name to begin with. It was so silly. How could he not smile? Then it fell. "Pretty sure she wouldn't want to see me if we did bump into each other." Then it started to grow again. "But watching her attempt to ignore, act cool, or act audacious, whichever would be cute either way." He chuckled at the thought wondering where her instinct would take her.

As for missing the randomness of people in society for these two social creatures Will was nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what I mean. We need chile, Smalls. I'm more used to life being a chilli cook off actually. Not just Skyline versus Goldstar, but a god damn county fair cook off any day I feel like not being in the walls. You hit the nail on the head there. Some days I even want a Chilli Dog."

Nothing got his smile to spread more than the mention of Hansel. His time in the walls was special to him. But, oh the phrasing, in the closet. He laughed out loud. "Don't crush me with ideas, Smalls. Hansel's a handsome guy." Willem would hardly be ashamed to admit he got off with a couple girls more on the idea Hansel might have been peeking through the secret wall holes and believing he was giving him a show than the thought of the girls he was with. He never said these sorts of thoughts out loud though. Hansel was probably that best friend secret soft-crush he'd never move on because A. dude was straight, and B. he'd never want to hurt Funkytown if something went wrong even if he wasn't straight. He started to realize flirting with Diana too much started to be an issue. He never wanted to hurt a doll in any way. Either way he sure didn't mind giving Hansel a show and enjoyed it.

When they got out of the bus it was hard not to notice the amount of corpse debris strewn about. He flared his nostrils on first foul breath. He put the back of his wrist up to his nose. "You might want to wear that around your neck. Damn." His brows furrowed as his face cringed unable to stop inhaling in the pungent odor due to need for breathing. He'd smelled worse, especially in the beginning, but he still wasn't used to it no matter how long he'd lived in Feral.

All he could even think to say about Quarantine was, "That's Feral for ya." It was hardly shocking even if his nose still disliked it.

Another big smile spread when he saw Figaro with a rather large weapon. "Hell yeah. That's what I'm talking 'bout. Dear Davey Jones. You look so... kick ass."

The best part of Bastien and his hoarding and their strange nothing you need store is everything that's expensive is nothing but a treasure hunt away. This appealed to Willem's pirate looting side. Bastien had a tendency to hoard anything and everything and organized in a system of his own design. Willem was more specific with his looting. That said one can best bet Wild Will came home to Funkytown one day with the Resident Evil VRs for his horror movie watching household. He brought enough headsets for half the dolls to play and even modded them to fit smaller dolls heads. Of course, the Polly Pockets and action figure sized were still out of luck, but he tried to make them user friendly. It was one of his own favorite loots.

"Yes, and please." He was ready to go up and check out the dolls that were haunting his mind tonight. He knew he wasn't going to sleep well if he didn't go check on them. So, he led Figaro on up to Livvy's old apartment. Willem had over time even gotten the key to the front door to the place because he heard of Frank's people races for Feral. The reality was most didn't make it beyond the race and if they did, they weren't prepared for what Feral was. The zombies got them before they had a chance to settle in, but on the off chance someone was a tough cookie that survived the Feral trials he wanted to keep this one space safe. So, he'd be seen pulling out a key of his own and unlocking her apartment as if it was his own. It wasn't a difficult item to acquire when the Landlord's office was abandoned.

"This is it." He knew Figaro wanted to rummage her uncle's belongings, but he still walked back to Livvy's room first.

"Her room is back here."

The shelving unit he made that Livvy never saw would be there, installed, and covered neatly in her collection of dolls and figurines. They were all lined up with care and placed at aesthetically pleasing angles.

He reached in for the mermaid first and sat on the edge of her bed. "I love this one." He said before kicking off the portion of his costume that made his feet look like hooves. They were getting uncomfortable, and it was a show he was making himself comfortable and intended to stay for a while. He was in no rush.

He took a dust cloth that was sitting off on a side table and wiped it off. It was still sitting there from last time he'd been in along with some Windex and dust spray. He intended to wipe down the shelves and tend to each one like he always did.

"She loved this one." He added. The Livvy Mermaid. Maybe he was a glutton for punishment, but he enjoyed letting the memories whirl around his head as he touched each one that were living in boxes before he pulled them out, like a collector too afraid to open them up afraid of them losing value instead of enjoying them. The only difference was he knew that wasn't why she kept them in the box. Willem always saw Livvy as another little giant too busy trying to be what she wasn't or who she thought others needed her to be to enjoy who she was. That's why he knew those dolls were loved even shoved in the back of a closet in boxes instead of given away, donated, or sold off. It was thoughts like that which Livvy never quite knew or understood about Willem because they never dwelled long on depths of each other, but it was still thoughts like that which kept Willem attached. It was too close to home.

"Every now and again I think about bringing them all back to Funkytown, but I think they'll worry they might miss her if she comes back." He'd say as if they were actually alive and had thoughts and feelings even all of these didn't have any of the Geppetto magic on them. Willem believed he understood all the feelings of dolls even when they didn't.

"They don't get too lonely. They have each other." He let Figaro know in case they were worried. It had been a worry of his.

He looked more at peace in there than at the ball. "You don't have to sit here while I tidy them. You can go exploring like you wanted. I can meet you in there when I'm done if you want?" He had a feeling Figaro would get bored watching him dust the figurines and shelves and fluff the dolls.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

idk man been sifting through my feelings on all this. and i think what it comes down to is i don't really care/mind that there are non-canonical (BY DEFINITION, if it is not IN the media, it is not in the 'canon', and this info was in tweets) statements about Lucanis' sexuality being demi/ace/him being a virgin. and i'm glad for people who like to incorporate that into their headcanons about the game/interpretation of his character and expand on that more than the game itself does, like, this is our space now baby do what makes you happy!

but personallyyyyyyy i just do not think these new labels are some magic bandaid that solves the flaws in the pacing and writing of his romance. Lucanis never talking to Rook about his feelings as they get to know each other (but sure is willing to talk to Rook about his feelings for Neve if you don't romance him) is not solved, for me, by saying "well he wouldn't be attracted until he got to know you and also has no experience with sex". the same way calling it a "slow burn" did not solve this for me. especially because right up until release he was being advertised as a "bisexual mess". but now was secretly a "panromantic demisexual" the whole time. it just... idk. you can say anything you want online, you know? but if you don't Show Me... well. i also don't like that people who are saying 'well this was Not part of his story in the game so i don't see it' are getting labeled as anti-ace when like, many of the criticisms i am seeing are coming from people who are themselves demi/ace lol. it's not asexual representation bc it is not in the game itself. (though honestly. i AM glad that that was not jammed into his story arc, and that his quests were about his agonizing over his family and the fact that he's now bodysharing with a demon. because his writing was never going to get MORE lines, and to take away any of the ones he had to put in a sexuality arc beyond an offhand mention would have really crashed that because the existing writing barely holds together as is. like there just was not room to have more so personally i am not criticizing Mary Kirby for her decision not to add it. but you can't not add something and then also claim it's a definitive part of his character. plus i dont think a character needs to know/understand/use modern labels anyway).

and personally i DO prefer an awkward/fumbling Lucanis, to be clear. Before Veilguard came out I was never expecting the sexy antivan lover angle because we got that once already: Zevran. I didn't want poor-imitation Zevran, and bioware would not write Lucanis like that to make sure he is a more distinct character anyway. BUT i do think it's reasonable in a bioware game to expect that a romance is going to have romantic content--and the number of times after his cutscenes i literally said aloud "go girl give us nothing" after he failed to react to a flirt was pretty sad. If he's awkward and nervous give him a line where he stutters and doesn't know how to react, not just a blank stare and back to business, or whatever. Or a scene where you can literally ask "you never respond to my flirting do you want me to stop" and for him to say say he likes it but doesn't know how to reciprocate or. ANYTHING. Idk. I have seen 10 different posts/takes on how the Wall Lean Scene fits in, be it that he was imitating a romance novel or it was crow seduction training or he was just pretending because that's how he's seen Illario do it but at the end of the day. It is all just speculation because nothing in the game EVER addresses how wildly different the tone of that scene is from every other one of his romance scenes. And as much as i love the Sexy Wall Lean, given the rest of his characterization in EVERY other romance scene, i think I'm at a point where i think the romance would have been better served by cutting it out and having a different scene where you actually get to talk to him instead.

but! that is not the game we were given. we only have what we have, which is the Veilguard content by Mary Kirby, and The Wigmaker Job written by Courtney Woods (where for reference, he mentions stumbling into an orgy on a previous job, and having an "interesting" time getting out of that, so i already think we have 2 different interpretations of his character between them anyway). but yeah idk man to me "well he's ace" is not an excuse for either gaps in the writing or cut content or whatever was going on. because 1. HE IS NOT AN ACTUAL PERSON he is a storytelling vessel that i felt failed to satisfyingly communicate the entire romance story and 2. even if he was a person saying 'well in ace relationships communication sucks' would also be, not great, you know. everything beyond the text itself is just interpretation and headcanons

[krakenartificer]

Who wants a really sad Leverage headcanon?

Was re-watching the Gimme a K Street Job -- Season 5 Episode 5 -- and a couple of things stood out to me.

1) Nate says "Let's go steal some congresspeople", and then sends everyone on the team (except Parker, who's being a cheer coach) out to con one of their targets. But it feels like there's a profound mismatch in who gets which mark.

For the "not like other girls" feminist congresswoman who's inclined to dismiss cheer as worthless and demeaning, you need Eliot to come in looking like a man who very much knows what does and does not count as a sport, and be his tiny angry respect-women-juice self about how regardless of what you think of their choice of clothing they are working as hard as any other athlete and they deserve safety as much as anyone else. But instead they sent Hardison.

For the "Yes I am very busy and important; admire me" chairman, you need Sophie, who is better than anyone else on the planet at making you feel admirable when you're doing what she wants, and scummy and low when you're not doing what she wants. But instead they sent Eliot.

For the "Look I am trying, but I need corn subsidies or I won't be able to do anything else" newbie congressman, Hardison could happily have gone on an infinitely recurring series of fetch quests until he sees the place where they loop around and bottom out and every problem solves every other problem. But instead they sent Sophie.

2) Eliot struggles the most, so Nate works with him the most, but he doesn't help him out hardly at all; he just keeps saying, "So what's your next play?" and then revealing that he's already anticipated Eliot's next play and has all the materials in place to enact it. And of course, they do eventually get the dude on board, and it all works out, but afterwards, Eliot tells Nate, "I trust that some time soon you'll tell me why you had me slogging through all that when you already knew how to hook him."

And of course, knowing what we now know about how season 5 ends, it makes sense that Nate is trying to train the OT3 to work without him, looking for his replacement.

Except.

If the plan is to fuck off into the sunset with Sophie, then why did he throw Sophie into this uncomfortable not-my-wheelhouse scenario?

No, Nate's preparing the entire team to carry on without him. He's forcing them to learn how to plan, learn different ways of approaching problems, to think about bigger pictures and approach them strategically.

...

I think Nate just got the first diagnosis of the disease that's finally going to kill him. And again, we -- the audience -- now know that he's going to live for many years after that initial diagnosis. But he doesn't know that, at this point. He knows he's tested positive, and he knows it's eventually going to kill him, and he has no idea how long he has.

And in some sense, it doesn't matter how long he has. Three months or thirty years, that kind of revelation makes it stunningly clear that taking care of the people you love means making sure that they can take care of themselves.

So that's what he does: he throws them into new, uncomfortable situations where they'll have to grow and support each other without him, so that no matter what happens, they'll be able to keep going. Because he's not a nice person, Jimmy Ford's son, but by God does he know the importance of protecting your family.

[knavesflames]

i have a request if it is alright and you're comfortable writing this ! arlecchino x reader who refuses to eat because they are insecure, eventually caving in for their beloved peruere, who Always has her way with words . . . that said if you do write this take your time !! i hope you have a good day <3

Hi! I struggle with this myself tbh, it’s been an ongoing struggle since I was 12/13, so if you’re feeling like this I really hope you’re alright! That being said, I hope you enjoy. I tried to make it as close to your prompt as possible!!

Word count: 985

Contents: fem!reader with implied ed, nothing graphic but she struggles poor thing, husband material peruere fr, shes deffo so soft for her gf

utc!

You have always seemed to have your own silent troubles with body image and eating. Now of course, Arlecchino noticed the day she met you. You can hide it as much as you want to, but she’s become quite aware of your little tricks, and that convincing smile. For the peace of the house, she goes along with them, for the most part. What else can she do when you refuse to admit you have an issue? She instead opts to sit with you when you eat, always snacking on something herself despite her appetite being smaller than the average person. When you attempt to distract either her or yourself from whatever meal you both have sat down to eat, a singular finger will gently tap on the side of the plate or the bowl, a small but silent indicator that she knows what you’re doing, and it isn’t working.

You were getting a little bit better for a while, but someone you hadn’t seen in a while had commented on your body and it had gone downhill from there. Since then, she has watched you with a careful eye, and of course, taken the batteries out of the scale. Arlecchino is one to silently deter you, rather than intervene and make you feel attacked. She has learned from experience that it does not help.

However, when she notices that you once again have not eaten the entire day, she realises that giving you some fruit cubes or a bowl of soup will not suffice. So, she cooks for you. The woman can cook, yes, but not anything other than salt and pepper. She cooks a bland meal, a little variation of your favourite one. She just cannot bring herself to put in the chilli flakes. She casts glances at you as you sit in the living room, noting down each detail she notices about you— the way you’ve chosen baggy clothes over the usual outfits you love to wear. The sad eyes and the way you avoid any hint of a reflection as to avoid seeing yourself. Arlecchino thinks it is so, so sad when the person she loves so dearly cannot bring themselves to love themselves too.

When Arlecchino moves to sit next to you with two plates in her hand, you already know, and you’re already prepared to refuse. Before you could open your mouth, though, the plate is placed in your hands, with one word. ‘Eat.’

You take a few small bites, enough for her eyes to stop watching you constantly. Once you think she’s calmed down, you go about your typical tricks. Yapping on about anything and everything and always attempting to distract her. It does not work this time.

“You aren’t fooling me,” she hums, tapping the ceramic plate with her nail. “I made this for you. Please try to eat it.”

You find yourself faltering at the pleading tone in her voice. Arlecchino does not plead, nor does she ask, or beg. She doesn’t seem to be Arlecchino now, though. She is not The Knave. She’s how she is when she’s alone with you, where she allows you to call her by her true name.

“Peruere, I am not hungry.” You begin, eager to appease her. Peruere is stubborn, though, and wants to hear absolutely nothing about it.

“You are, and you will eat. Please. You look miserable, and I dislike when you are miserable. Why must you suffer for beauty standards that are so unrealistic?” For once, her voice is soft instead of the harsh, cold voice you’ve grown to love. It’s different, but you can’t say you mind it.

“You say that, but you’re beautiful,” you mutter, staring at the plate in front of you. Your hand absentmindedly twirls the fork around. “It’s not the same.”

“I am tall, and I have many scars. I wear a suit. My hands are charred to the extent that they will never return to their true colour. My eyes. I do not fit the so-called standard either, but there is nothing I can do about the issue, so why would I waste my hours suffering at the hands of myself because of it? Why would you, when you are so perfect to me?”

You huff in annoyance, but purely because you know she’s hit a nerve in you, and you know she’s right. It irritates you, because you can’t seem to find a witty comeback. You look at her, and her once stoic face has worry written into her features. You see it in the way her eyebrows crease, and the way her head has tilted to the side. It’s the most emotion you’ll get out of her. You stare at her for a little longer before you cave, and while grumbling incoherently, you stab the food with the fork you’re holding (a bit aggressively), before taking a bite.

You chew for a while, longer than necessary, and she cocks an eyebrow in a silent command. You continue chewing, staring at her for a beat before she realises why you haven’t swallowed yet. She sighs gently, but takes a bite of her own and, the second she swallows, you do too. Peruere decides she’ll take what she can get, and watches as you mirror her until the food has settled into your stomach. Peruere is acutely aware of your little habits, though, and pulls you close to her so you are not able to suddenly stand up.

“You did well. You already look less tired. I do despise when you mistreat the person I love.” She mumbles into your hair, her fingers tracing lazy circles on your skin as you nuzzle into her. Peruere decides that if she has to do this with every meal, she will, because the way your eyes light up when you taste her ever so bland food warms her heart more than she’d care to admit.

[everyone-needs-a-hoopoe]

palestinians on this website have been driving themselves out of their minds since october 2023, past the point of heads full of grey hairs in their 20s, past the point of multiple breakdowns, getting gazans' private documents to prove they're real people while exposing and driving off the very few actual scammers there have been. multiple organisations like operation olive branch and gazavetters have sprung up to try and alleviate the toll this takes on individuals while still saving as many people as possible. ahmed 90s-ghost had a news article written about his successful escape to egypt!

those lovely organisations you listed cannot help gazans right now because they rely on getting aid trucks over the borders, which are kept closed by israel (which is ordinarily responsible for letting the majority of aid through) and egypt. the only people who can help gazans are other gazans and people like us with our valuable foreign currency.

and we need to help! even with a ceasefire agreement, children are being splattered across gaza's few remaining walls because israel never honours these things. families are still starving and freezing to death. people still have to pay rent for apartments with no walls or sleep in tents made of blankets in the pouring rain. every hospital in gaza is a bombed out shell, while wounds go septic in streets running with sewage and lungs fail in air choked with the dust of a nearly flattened city. did you know that one of the terms of the ceasefire was that hostile aircraft are only allowed in gazan airspace for a maximum of 8-10 hours per day? can you imagine living most of your day with the incessant buzzing of death above you, never certain when it's going to come for you? can you imagine how bad it was before that this is an improvement that was fought tooth and nail for?

the people sending you asks use the little internet connection they can get per day on esim cards, and the little phone charge they can buy off anyone who's managed by some miracle to keep a solar panel intact through over a year of carpet bombing, screaming into the void in a language they don't know to beg for their lives. they don't know how tumblr works. they don't know who can help them. they need ANYONE to care that they're dying.

and you don't care, so yes, you are being callous. you would not be the people who sheltered jewish people during the holocaust. you are not a good person. by reporting these blogs without rock solid evidence - evidence actual scambusters like kyra45, mangocheesecakes and neeches work their asses off to find - you are actively sabotaging the fundraisers of dying people. i am not exaggerating when i say that kills people. it has killed people. it is killing people.

i really can't emphasise this enough, much less sugarcoat it: if you've reported multiple gazan fundraisers it's very likely that you've killed someone.

the least you can do is ignore them if you're not going to donate. if you want to be a little more than an everyday nazi with the radio up loud so you can't hear the screams from the concentration camp next door, you could start paying attention to what's on each blog. many have "vetted by so-and-so" on them, or "reblogged by 90s-ghost" who as i mentioned is a real palestinian who escaped gaza who can tell at a glance if their arabic is google translated like a scammer would do. you can check out these vetting blogs and see what they do and who they promote. maybe you could even toss a reblog their way! maybe even a couple of bucks!

it's never too late to start caring. my pinned post has a few links to vetting organisations. top of my blog (under this post now) is a fundraiser led by my best friend for a baby with a failing heart who needs treatment TODAY or he's going to die. one of my friends is even offering commissions for it if that makes you feel better! you know, if it makes a woman starving herself to try and afford treatment for her infant son less of a dirty beggar.

you can stop being callous if you want to. if you have followers or money you can save someone's life. i really hope you'll try.

I'm starting to feel callous for saying this:

Please, Please, Please, if you are in a situation where you need money or have a go-fund-me started, DO NOT send people asks about it.

Make a post with places to donate instead, spread awareness through reblogs, but don't go into strangers DMs or Ask Boxes soliciting donations. It makes you look like a bot, not a real person needing help.

The big scam one I'm seeing right now is individuals "in Gaza" asking for donations. Before Gaza they said the donations were because of an illness. Bots/scammers are using Gaza to pull at your heartstrings and scam you.

Donate to places you can trust. Like Amnesty International, Free The Children/WE Charities, UN Crisis Relief, Red Cross, etc. Places you know are credible.

I feel callous for deleting/blocking/reporting asks like that but just know it is a scam. It's using your empathy against you. Do not fall for those asks. Donate to causes, raise awareness, but delete and block those asks/dms because they are not real people. it's the same copy/pasted story on each one. Do your research before donating and be safe online.

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#381

“Wakey wakey.  Time to wake up….  Don’t try to move around too much.  As you are realizing, you are in a predicament.  You are lying in my basement, buck naked, tied up, gagged, collared, with a fuck pillow under your pelvis.  You ain’t going anywhere, anytime soon….

“We’ve never met, but we know each other.  We both do the same thing for work, but we are nothing alike.  This is what’s happening.  I am part of a nameless organization that takes faggots, trains them to be slaves, and sells them to buyers from around the world.  From what I’ve been told over the years, the faggots delivered to me want to drop off the grid and sold into slavery.  They turn themselves in to a collector, who then has them delivered to me.  I don’t know if that’s true as I don’t let any of the faggots talk other than to say, ‘Yes Sir!’ 

“Now for you, I was told your backstory.  It seems that you are a collector for a different kind of group.  I train fags who offer themselves up for the taking.  You seem to prefer the non-consensual abductions of twelve- to fifteen-year-old girls.  I don’t care that you prefer pussy over dicks, but I do draw the line with their age.

“As I said, I was told what you are.  That never happens.  Ever.  But it appears that you approached the ten-year-old niece of one of higher ups in the organization, and he recognized what and who you were.  That stupid move brought you here. 

“I have no idea who the higher up is nor do I care.  Hell, we don’t know any of the men that are in the other parts of my organization, let alone hear from them.  So I found it surprising to get a call from a higher up—who I haven’t heard from in a few years—that I am to train you personally.  You better fucking believe that I’m going to train the fuck out of you.

“I have been training faggots for nearly forty years.  This is my farm you are on.  Twelve hundred acres.  Twelve hundred acres with some of the most advanced surveillance and anti-escape deterrents.  I know of every person who steps foot on my property, and I know if a slave is ten feet away from where it is supposed to be.  The ankle cuffs, wrist cuffs, and collar have tracking devices in them.  The collar can deliver a shock to keep you in line at a moment’s notice.  And the ankle cuffs are set up that if you go beyond a certain perimeter, a numbing agent is injected causing your legs to go numb and become useless.  Escape is not possible.  In my twenty years at this location, I have only had one slave make it off property, but it was collected within three minutes of doing so.  That slave was brought back and tortured in front of all the other slaves as a deterrent.  And that was before all the tracking technology was put in.  So keep that in mind if you decide to do something stupid.

“Now,… for the past five minutes, I have been telling you the predicament you find yourself in.  I have been watching your reaction.  Being gagged, you can’t say anything, but your body language says it all.  You seem too calm and not surprised at the description of my organization.  No reaction really.  That tells me that you are familiar with an operation like this.  When I tell you that you were collected for stalking that niece, you don’t look shocked by that accusation.  That pretty much confirms what I was told,… not that it matters otherwise. 

“No, the only reaction I saw was when I tell you that I am going to do your training.  You looked panicked.  Your eyes went right to my bulge.  Oh yeah.  I noticed.  You are straight indeed.  I should say, ‘were straight.’  From this moment on, you will never go back to that life.  The only cunt in your future is the one I’m about to make out of this hole between your legs.

“You have a great ass, so flawlessly smooth.  On any other slave, this ass would be a huge selling feature.  But for you, it’s a source of pain.  I need to put out my cigarette somewhere.  Your asscheek is the best place to do it….  Scream motherfucker scream.  Your perfect ass is going to go through some changes, from being daily whipped to being used as an ashtray.  You are going to be scarred up for sure.

“For the next part, I need to take off my boots and get out of these overalls.  You are going to get acquainted with Otto.  That’s what some of the fag slaves and some of the trainers call my dick.  Otto, it means ‘eight’ in Italian.  I’m actually closer to nine inches, but nine in Italian is ‘Nove’ which doesn’t sound right.  It doesn’t roll over the tongue as nicely as Otto.  Hehe.

“Look up at me.  Look shithead!  Here’s Otto.  Look at the cock that is going to own your life.  Half hard, it’s bigger than yours.  Keep staring at my foreskin.  Otto needs to piss.  You will be trained on drinking piss.  That’s all the liquid you will be given.  And if you are wondering if that means that you will be trained on becoming a full toilet, let me say we stopped training our slaves on that a while back.  It was too time consuming, and the buyers weren’t interested in that feature.  But for you, the higher ups want you trained.  But that will have to wait.

“Are you…  you are…!  You’re crying!  About time!  Hold still.  Let me wash away those tears for you.  Piss is the best antidote to tears.  There’s no feeling in the world like starting to tear down a once proud man by simply pissing on his face.  It’s getting me hard.  Otto likes what he’s doing to you.  But he wants action.

“Normally, you would be sucking the last few drops out of my foreskin.  But I ain’t ungagging you yet.  Besides, Otto needs to turn a virgin ass into a gaping cunt. 

“Your hole is perfectly displayed, like it’s ready to be destroyed thanks to that fuck pillow and how wide your legs were spread and secured.  Oh look.  Your cock and balls are just hanging there,… exposed,…

“…Damn! Even with my bare feet, I can deliver one hell of a ball kick.  Ha! Ha!  Your screams mean everything to me.  You know, each and every one of my personal slaves are kicked in the balls every morning.  They need to be reminded of their place on a daily basis. 

“Now, you will be spared that daily torture.  And that’s not because I would never have you as my personal slave, and don’t worry I wouldn’t own such trash.  No, I’m going to castrate you, in one of the most painful ways.  I haven’t decided how yet.  I do know that I will leave your empty sack intact.  We have a urologist that will make changes to your dick so that you lose all ability to get hard and with a few snips to the nerves in the area, all physical sensation will be gone.  Essentially your dick will constantly just hang there and be utterly useless… other than to piss out of.  Every time you reach down there, you will only feel the shell of what you used to be.

“Awww you’ve done full on sob.  Here let me collect some of your tears.  Tears of cunts are the best lube. 

“Do you feel Otto at your hole?  Feel his weight in your crack?  He’s ready to go.  Can you feel his leak.  Lucky for you, you really got me leaking.  Feel that wetness?  That’s all you.  Virgin cunt meets wine bottle thick dick.

“Don’t fucking start resisting.  Your cherry is going to be popped.  Here goes. 

“Don’t fucking fight me.  It’s only going to be more painful for you.  You are making my dick even harder.

“LET ME IN!  I’m coming in.  Oh, you got my head.  You are really starting to piss me off.

“Urg!  There.  Normally I would let a cunt relax before I begin, but you don’t fucking deserve that.  Right to the… goddamned… root!  Fuck, you’re tight.  By the end of tonight, you will be a gaping mess. 

“Not only have I been lucky to have such a big dick, but I can cum multiple times a night.  My first load is always quick, but the second one goes on for hours.  Then I have a gang bang lined up for this cunt. 

“I’ll let someone else pop the cherry in your throat.  There’s no way I’m going to let Otto near your mouth, at least not while you still have a mouthful of teeth.  Oh yeah, those will be coming out as part of your transformation.

“Keep crying.  Oh man.  Oh fuck.  I’m getting close.  You ready to be bred?  You ready to make your transformation to cunt complete?  Here it cums.  Here it goddamned cums!  Ahh! Ahh! Fuuuuck!

“Holy shit!  That was… fuck. 

“Your cunt has one of my biggest loads in it.  That should help lubricate you up a bit for round two….  Don’t try to push me out.  Otto will come out when he wants to.  Right now, he just wants a minute to catch his breath.

“Cunt, you have nothing but hell ahead of you.  There will be no let up.  Today is about breaking you in.  Tomorrow will begin your life of pain.  We have a shitload planned for you.  I don’t know how long it will be for you to with us, but each day we will strip away what made you a man, a human. 

“You know, when we put a slave up for auction, we have transformed the fag into the best slave it could be.  We don’t do it for its wellbeing.  No, we want top dollar.  And we get top dollar.  That’s our reputation.

“But for you, I was given the instruction that your transformation should be so extreme that when you are put up for auction, without a reserve price, that you are so repulsively distorted that you are sold for the lowest amount we ever had for a slave.  That shouldn’t be a problem with all the branding, scarification, tattooing, deteething, and so on.  Your previous profession will be shared with your new owners so that they can keep up your hell. “Oh fuck.  All this talk of your pathetic life is getting me hard again.  I’m ready to begin round two.  This should last a few hours.”

[flippinpancakes64]

Could you do The Cullens x Reader! Who is just a very happy and cheerful person, pretty small, and then they just get sad or teary eyed when someone calls them childish, what would be their reaction?

The Cullens with a very happy but sensitive reader

I can definitely relate to the sensitive part, but I am rather large so we'll see how good I am at portraying that

Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy

Edward:

He doesn’t mind that you’re smaller than him

He actually kinda likes it

And he loves your personality

It’s so bright and nice

It’s a good change of pace to hear kind and clear thoughts as opposed to mean and rude ones

Now as far as when he hears people insulting you

He doesn’t let that shit fly

Especially when you come up to him later with tears in your eyes

He is anti-bully and pro-you

He will knock a bitch out

And he does his best to reassure you that he loves you for you and that he never wants you to change ever

Alice:

All things considered, you are like her clone

Small, cheerful, peppy

Only difference is that what other people say still gets to you

Granted, she’s had over 100 years to become desensitized

But she knows the feeling

Those people calling you childish have called her that too

She tells them to back off and watch themselves

As for you, she never wants you to change

You are so vibrant and lively and fun

And if those people ever got to you and you felt that you needed to try to change yourself, she shuts that down instantly

No changing yourself to fit into society for her

One order of being your own person please

Jasper:

He loves your personality so much

It’s canon that he tends to gravitate towards people who have a positive mind because it makes him feel better

And what better person than sunlight embodied

But when you come to the lunch table one day and you look like you’re about to cry, he is ready to fight

He doesn’t actually fight tho

He knows he won’t be able to hold back and he will end up killing someone

He loves you, but not enough to blow their whole cover and to reset all of his progress

He reassures you that he doesn’t think you’re childish

If anything, everybody else is just miserable

Rosalie:

Grumpy and sunshine relationship dynamic?

She likes to give you a hard time sometimes, pretending to be annoyed at how energetic you are

But in reality she loves it

She’s so used to Edward being miserable and everyone at school being miserable that she loves your personality

And she does fight someone

When you come over after school and look like you’re about to cry, she instantly takes her earrings out

She finds whoever said it and beats their ass

She will not let anyone upset you like that ever again

Emmett:

Your personality is a nice change from Rosalie’s

Not that he would admit that

But it’s nice to have someone who actually acts happy all the time

You’re his little ray of sunshine and he loves you

And when you come up to him about to cry, he gets ready to kill someone

And then he actually does

The guy deserved it idk

They can’t trace it back to him so it’s all ok

He reassures you as much as you need that he loves you and that he never wants you to change

Esme:

Another ray of sunshine

She’s so inviting and kind, you two match each other perfectly

Only she’s never really had to deal with anyone calling her childish

She’s of course had the random soccer mom asking her if she’s really qualified to be caring for a bunch of teenagers, but that’s it

So when you come home crying, she’s not too sure of what to do

She does her best to comfort you

Cue your favorite food, movie, and blanket

She spends the whole night cuddling with you and telling you that you are perfect exactly as you are

Carlisle:

He appreciates a nice, positive person

He deals with a lot of rude people at work, so it’s good to unwind

He has never once thought of you as childish in any way

One day you’re visiting him in the clinic and a random man says that you’re far too childish to be dating the doctor

He’s shocked

And you’re upset

He takes you back to his office to calm down and pages the secretary to kick that guy out

Reassures you that you are not childish and that he never wants you to change

Vampire! Bella:

She’s been around sunshine people for a long time

Her mom, Alice, Esme, and Edward when he gets what he wants

So your presence is nothing new

But she appreciates it nonetheless

She loves how you can find the good in everything

It balances out her bleak mindset

So when she sees someone insult you, she’s irate

She goes over to them and like stomps on their foot or something

And then tells them to never even look at you again

Ultimate bodyguard

[starsaroundsaturn]

12 small ways to be knightly

when I was a smol child I wanted nothing more than to go out and be a knight and change the world. now that I am a slightly more grown child I have realized I can still be a knight by changing the world in little ways. I do not actually think these things are small in impact, they are just easy to do. the starred (*) options are especially low in cost for those who don't have much money to spare!

keep money on you to give to people who need it. like a $1 bill could keep somebody from starving to death. $10 will buy a gym membership so they can shower and be clean. $20 will make sure they can travel to a shelter without hitchhiking (which is so dangerous.)

donate blood. you can keep up to 3 people alive from 1 donation. you can fight the dangerous beast that is cancer, save someone during their surgery, etc.*

plant a plant on your porch, balcony, etc. it's good for the bees and it will probably make a passerby smile.*

give money to a homeless shelter or food bank! you would be surprised what $5 can do for a person! (do your research, though, make sure this shelter or food bank does what it says it will!)

start a small free library. this just involves getting a box that you can put outside and putting books in it and labeling it as a free library! you can get used books at a thrift store for less than $2 each and make sure that books are accessible to people around you!

reach out to someone you think might be struggling in your life. this can make all the difference to a person and can save lives.*

smile at people you meet.*

sincerely thank the people who help you throughout your life, like the barista who gets you coffee, the person who brings your mail, a teacher, etc.*

give someone you love a hug.*

keep your space clean and treat yourself with respect and care. (a knight takes care of themselves and their possessions!)*

have faith the world can get better.*

adopt an animal rather than buying one. so many animals have been abandoned and hurt, and you can give them a new home.

if you have other ways to be knightly, please add! if you want to build a community of knights with me who go about righting wrongs in the smallest of ways, please interact!

chivalry is not dead as long as we keep it alive inside us.

[ninyard]

i am in my renee and andrew besties 4eva era rn (when am i not honestly..) and was wondering if u have any headcanons u’d like to share about them? <3 i love ur brain dude!!

Here’s something:

After thanksgiving, when Andrew has returned from Easthaven, he invites Renee for a sparring session. Renee agrees, and everyone tells her to be careful, that he’s different, that he’s unmedicated and scary and if she thinks she’s in danger she needs to yell for help. She thanks them for their concern with a tight smile and tries to hold back an unfortunately bitter eye roll when her back turns to them. Her and Andrew find their way to wherever it is they usually spar - an empty room? A parking lot?

But when they get there, Andrew doesn’t start. He usually does, with some annoying move that almost always trips her up, but this time he stands in front of her with this blank and bored look in her eyes.

Are you okay? She thinks, but she knows she can’t say it out loud.

The thing about Renee and Andrew, in my opinion, why they work, is they each can recognise themselves in each other. Renee can read Andrew better than he probably thinks that she can, and she gathered a lot about his past purely from insinuations and little comments made here and there. I don’t think she knew who Drake was, but when she heard what happened, and she heard foster father, and she heard Luther’s name mentioned, she knows exactly what the history is there. Andrew doesn’t open up to her like he does to Bee or Neil, but he does share with her the scrapings off the top of his story. When she shared her past with him, she saw the look in his eyes, the shadow that passed over his gaze, and knew what had happened to him. She knew what his questioning meant, the curiosity he held over the things she'd been through. The pieces fit together perfectly, in her opinion, the pieces that told her exactly why Andrew trusted her so much once she'd told him.

“Good or bad?” Renee asks him. She’s talking about Easthaven, his time there, but he doesn’t quite catch on. He rolls his wrist in a circular motion to gesture for her to continue. “The hospital.”

“Bad,” he says. “They weren’t very good at their jobs.”

Renee feels her heart in her throat at his monotonous and unemotional delivery. She also sees that look in his eyes again, this time unsheltered and unprotected by the cloud of medicated mania that usually covered it up.

“Power trip or opportunity?” She asks.

She knows all too well how it feels to be poorly treated by medical staff or authorities as someone who frequently ran into both in her youth. Andrew seems to understand her question, and runs his finger over the lightly raised outline of a knife beneath his arm bands.

"Both and neither." Andrew says. His eyes are tired, and for just a moment Renee finds herself almost... startled? For just a moment, it feels as if she is looking into the eyes of a stranger, stood in front of him, with no smile on his face and no wild look in his eyes. Renee realises that she's never seen Andrew like this before.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asks, as she’s prepping herself or tying up her hair. She notices how he hesitates.

Andrew doesn’t say anything, but still he doesn’t pursue the start of a fight. He doesn’t step forward to start the session, so Renee doesn’t start either.

“I get it, if you wanted to,” Renee offers, and Andrew looks at her, and his face says I’m not sure that you do. “I know you’ll talk to Betsy. I’m just offering an ear if you need to get anything off your chest.”

“Are you against killing medical professionals?” He says as he shakes himself out to take position. Renee smiles as she matches him.

“I’m against killing anybody these days,” she laughs. “But no, not if they deserved it. Keep that one between us.”

They fight for a while, but Andrew runs out of energy slightly quicker than usual. Renee wishes she could see something in him, some answer, some feeling now that his feelings were finally his own again, but each time she catches his eyes she is only met with this vast emotionless void. Renee naively hopes that with each step he takes, each fist he throws, that maybe he will finally be angry. Looking at him, knowing what he'd been through, imagining what had happened in Easthaven, she wishes he would scream and curse the world for the way it had treated him. It was a thought born from the old Renee, that much was clear. A thought founded in spite and revenge, born from fiery resentment and anger. Renee thinks Andrew deserves to kill each and every person who has felt entitled to him and his body. She would tuck her cross necklace beneath her blouse and go to confession afterwards, but she also knows she'd be right there with him.

[virq-qgo]

Can you give please do SFW and NSFW alphabet head canons for Logan (Wolverine)

Hi!! I am so sorry that it took me this long to finish..! I’ve actually never heard of alphabet head cannons so I had to find some templates and couldn’t find an SFW so please forgive me 🙁🙏 I would also like to apologize that I’m terrible at making head cannons, because I don’t have the mindset of that.. so this will probably be my first and last time I’ll do this 😞

Requests are still open ❤️

Warnings: smut, fem reader, my writing, not proof read obvi.. I also kinda rushed the end so I’m sorry 😢

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Very caring, now matter how old he is gets. Logan will make sure to give you the best treatment of your life. Literally the definition of princess treatment.

After getting the dick pounded out of you, with all of these marks on your poor worn out body. Logan will kiss each mark then pick you up and carry you to the bathroom. Like nobody talks about it so i fucking will, Logan will sit you on the toilet and make sure you piss. Why? Your handsome lover wants you to be healthy! No UTIs or yeast infection for the princess (speaking from experience.) Then you both will have a very relaxing shower together before cuddling in bed!

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Logans favorite part of his body will probably be his chest, mainly his abs. He knows how much you love them, and how much you like doing other things with them. Not to mention he works hard for his body to look the way it does, it’s something everyone should be proud of.

Now realistically, Logan will tell you that he loves every single inch of you. Yknow how you ask your parents who’s the favorite sibling, they’ll tell you they love each and single one of you, but make it so obvious that they favor the other one. Yeah, this is how it is. Except yknow he loves your hips. With the way he always grabs them, either from moving you to the side or moving you when your leg get to sore from riding him. Logan just loves how they feel in his hands.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

As a man would, Logan loves to fill your sweet pussy with his cum. And once in a while, cuming on your tits when he’s fucking his hand. But again, mainly you cunt. He’ll fill it up as much as he please and once you’re both finished, he loves to pull away and admire how much cum drips out of your hole and onto the bed. He loves his little stuffed donut.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Logan definitely fucked his hand when you were asleep, taking your dirty underwear from the floor and fucked that too. Not one of his proudest moments. But when your moaning his name and stirring in your sleep, he couldn’t help himself.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Bro is over 200 years old, please shoot me if you ever met someone who says that this man is a virgin. Because they are lying to you and themselves.

But that saying, in these 200 years, he’s had plenty of sexual partners. That means more experience and the better your pussy gets dicked down.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Logan loves when you’re on top of him. Why? Well, this is the perfect view for him. He loves the way your tits bounce and if you have small girls, he loves seeing them. He loves boobs, Logan is definitely a boob man! But he loves grabbing your hips and since he’s so much stronger than you, he moves your hips back and forth. Logan loves when your nails dig into his chest when you’re on top of him, and he LOVES watching your face while his dick is going deep into you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He is not silly turning sex, Logan finds this time most serious. Durning these moments, he completely loses himself and only focuses on you and your pleasure. So really, he has no time for goofiness, and too him, any man who’s goofy durning sex. A time where you solely focus on your lover and their needs. Is not a man, but a boy. Because every woman who’s being intimate with a man deserves to be treated like a queen.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Now you see the mans face and head, it’s nothing but hair. The whole guy is hairy, and if you’re not into hairy men. Well Logan is not for you. He grooms his face and hair but leaves everything untouched because it’s just so unnecessary to him. That being said, he has never trimmed downstairs, and won’t plan to. Plus he knows how much you’re into that thick happy trail of his.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Logan during intimacy is very loving, he finds the moment where they’re but so vulnerable towards each other. Logan finds being intimate a very serious thing.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

If you aren’t around then yes, he needs to find a way to relieve his boner. Just the thought of you makes him so unbelievably hard. So when you’re away and he thinks of you, he can’t help himself. I like to believe that you guys have toys in the bedroom, so he definitely uses your vibrators to get done.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

So, bud definitely has a few!! Like I said in previous, he loves your boobs, that being said he’s definitely into Breast play. His hands will always be on your boobs, playing with your nipples, sucking on your nipples. Marking them up.

Another one Logan has is orgasm play, now I feel like that he will only do this when you’re not “behaving” such as making him jealous, purposefully pissing him off, yada yada you get the jist. Logan will make sure you sexy time is one of the most miserable times for you, basically saying that you don’t get to cum, he’ll drag it out on and on until he feels like you deserve it.

I am a firm believer that Logan will steal your panties from the night before. He knows where he threw them at while ripping them off you, he knows just how wet they were during that time. So obviously, he’s gonna use them to jerk himself off.

Finally, one of the last ones Logan has it’s degrading. Either he’s degrading or you, he’s so into it. Especially during a rough night, he loves to call you his dirty slut, his slutty little girl. The famous “you’re such a fucking cumslut, wanting me to always fill the tight pussy of yours up. Don’t worry, I’ll fill it up, so nice and full.”

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Whenever he gets hard, Logan will drag you to a closed off space and pull your pants to your to your knees, and push your panties to the side. He doesn’t care, he’ll take you right then and there. Logan is just always so horny for you, but can you blame him? His girlfriend is so fucking hot.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Boobs, your boobs to be exact.

Show a little bit of cleavage, well sister. You better be ready for the outcome. Logan will make it so obvious that he’s staring. It’s kinda embarrassing, especially when you’re around other people.

Another thing that gets him going is when you talk back to people, putting them in their place. He finds the bossy and demanding side of you so fucking sexy. He sometimes acts bratty just to see that side of you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that will physically harm you, he doesnt care if you’re into it. It’s a big no. He also won’t share, so no threesomes. He finds it’s disrespectful and a little hurtful that you’ll want another person into the game, making him think that he’s not giving you enough or not making you feel good.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Definitely depends on his mood or day.. but mainly I think he likes to focus on your pleasure, so he’ll definitely eat you out. Especially when he’s pissed off with something, he just wants to bury his head into your thighs and eat his meal.

But he also loves when you give him head, he asks for it almost all the time. It’s the best thing ever, just to feel how talented you are with your tongue and mouth.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Logan definitely goes fast and rough, it’s how you like it too. The both of you think it’s the best way to do it, especially since Logan has so much stamina and strength. The way his cock hits all the way back.

But of course, there are times where you guys take it slow. Showing to each other just how much you truly love one another.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He loves them, when you both are horny but don’t have the time to take your time. It’s super convenient. He doesn’t care where or what time it is, he will pull down your pants and fuck you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I don’t think he’s cares all too much about being risky. As long as he knows he’s in a spot with you that no one will see, you two will be fine.

You see, he doesn’t care if anyone saw him fucking you. He just knows that your worried people will see, so he takes cover for you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Logan can probably go as many as five, I know once he fucks you till his balls are quite literally empty and can’t go anymore because he’s too sensitive. That’s when you take you chance because that when he’s gets all subby. Enjoy your time 😉

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Yes!! He loves using toys just to be mean to you, he knows your favorite vibrator, sets in on the highest setting and places it directly on your clit, enjoying the way your hips flinch back.

Logan also likes using toys on himself, especially fleshlights that feel exactly like you. Or using your vibrator on himself.

Overall, toys are a big yes!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Logan loves to tease you, when it comes to public and barely touching you in your most sensitive areas or sending you dirty texts. (I am a firm believer that he would send you dick picks or send you pictures of his abs, flaunting the v-line you love so much.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

His sounds are quiet but loud enough for you to hear, he moans in your ear when he’s on top of you. Or when you’re on top of him, he lets out small quieter moans. Logan gets louder when he’s closing to cumming too.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Logan’s favorite outfit on you that will get him so unbelievably horny is a pair of sweats and a tight shirt. Gets him so hard, and an instant way to get nutted in.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Okay, let’s be so for real..

Logan ripped, we know what the v-line is like! We all know that he’s hairy downstairs, but you don’t care. Because all what matters is that dick serves you good.

Logan is more of a grower than a shower. When he’s hard, he grows to be 7 to 8 inches. He’s not that thick, but big enough to stretch that pussy out!

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

I guess it all depends on his mood and how he feels. Logan overall can have sex anytime he wants. He’s your horndog after all.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards

He’s not that quick to fall asleep, he’ll stay in bed with you while you both cuddle each other and chat. After sex, the both of you take your time lay down and relax, feeling each others skin and heartbeat. This is a very relaxing time together.

[fortheloveoffanfic]

Broken Chords: See how it shines

Hozier x fem!reader

Author's note: this is late cause I spaced on making a mood board.

Summary: 6 weeks after they last saw each other, Andrew can’t seem to get past his and Y/n’s last exchange in New York. In a last-ditch effort to save their relationship, Andrew makes a long distance call from Paris.

Warnings: just angst.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

The first moments after she walks out of the dressing room feels like hell. But then Andrew reminds himself that hell was when she’d left him the first time, so this must be something worse. This sharp ache in his chest, the rawness in his throat, the heat on his skin and the blur of his vision must be worse. When Y/n had left the first time – if one could really call it that since they’ve never officially lived together – it had come as a shock to him. He hadn’t expected it, and there was a period of disbelief before reality had set in.

But this time is different; this time, the image of her looking up at him with glassy eyes is scored into his mind, and he keeps seeing her walking out of the dressing room every time he shuts his eyes. Its all still fresh and often, when he thinks about it, a sense of panic rises up in his chest. She’s gone, its over; he recognizes the fact immediately. There’s no tricking himself into thinking that Y/n will come back because she’ll want the copy of Anna Karenina she left on his bookshelf. There are no parts of her in that sterile room, the warmth of her fingers have faded from his and the gentle way her perfume has stained the air is gone.

The room smells cold, in a way that almost burns his nose – or maybe it's the struggle to not sob that causes the uncomfortable sensation.

And even after the moment is gone, another memory occupied by a person he doesn’t quite recognize, Andrew can’t shake the question she’d asked him;

“What more did you need to see?”

What more does he need to see? What was he looking for that Y/n didn’t give him?

Nothing.

The answer hasn’t changed since he first thought it over. Every night, swallowed by pitch darkness, Andrew stares up at nothing, unable to keep his eyes shut for longer than a couple seconds while the moment plays on a repeat in his mind. It's like a scene from a movie he’s seen a million times but he can never remember the names of the actors. Awfully familiar, just not familiar enough.

What more does he need to see?

Laying in a hotel room in Paris, Andrew repeatedly asks himself the question. And he keeps coming up with the same answer; nothing. Everything Y/n is has always been more than he could ever imagine needing. She’s been at his side through the best of things, and offered him solace when he’s at his worst. So many of his secrets are now hers too.

God, his parents adore her. Jon says she’s the sister he never had. How many people get that lucky?

How many people don’t realize that they are that lucky because they’re too busy shielding themselves from a blow that just isn’t gonna come?

Sitting up and slumping against the cool, wooden headboard, he scrubs his hand over his face and then threads his fingers through his messy curls. It's three am, he’s jetlagged and its obvious sleep isn’t in his immediate future. And all he can think about is how far down a precipice he’s sent the best relationship he’s ever had.

He should tell her he's sorry.

In fact, not should; he must tell her. Right now. Before another hour passes without her knowing that he is so incredibly sorry and remorseful that its keeping him awake. That even if she doesn’t take him back – because she probably will not – he knows she deserves better and that he’s willing to work on being better because she’s worth that and an eternity’s more.

He doesn’t care that its three am in Paris or twelve am in Los Angeles. She needs to know; a little piece of his sanity ebbs away for every second that she doesn't.

He reaches for his phone on the bedside table. It doesn’t take too much effort to find it, and Andrew doesn’t even need to turn on the lamp because the hotel they’ve chosen is in the thick of the city, and his room overlooks the sleepless stretch that bounds towards the Eiffel tower. Yellow lights from the surrounding buildings, blurred by the sheer curtains that guard the double doors that lead to the small balcony, washes his room in a pale, golden hue.

She’d love this was, uncoincidentally, his first thought when he’d first noticed. He doesn’t know why, but when he thought it, Andrew had tried to take a picture of the room, it's not like he’ll ever get to show her. But his phone couldn’t seem to capture the lighting right, and he gave up.

Unlocking the screen, Andrew pulls up her number and allows himself another moment of contemplation. He isn’t even sure that she’ll answer – he doesn’t have any right to the comfort of her voice, much less her forgiveness. But he owes himself the possibility, right?

Maybe not.

But he's already hit call, so it doesn’t even matter anymore.

It rings three times. Three seconds. He holds his breath and his heart is racing. The familiar sound is weighed down by the chance of making it to her voicemail recording. Andrew quickly determines that if it gets there, he’s going to hang up before the message starts, because he doesn’t want to hear her cheery voice relaying that awfully generic message.

“Hey, its Y/n. Leave a message!”

No. He won’t leave a message because what he has to say can not be articulated in three minutes.

Four rings.

“Hello?” When he hears her breathy greeting coming through the line, Andrew involuntarily sucks in a sharp breath.

“Ehm…..” How is he even supposed to start this thing? Perhaps he would have been much better off getting on a plane and flying to L.A, because at least then his greeting wouldn’t be reduced to a measly; “hey, its me.”

On her end, he can hear music playing, it isn't loud and he guesses that she’s put some distance between herself and its source. “I know,” Y/n returns after a handful of tense seconds, “I saw your name on the…..”

“Right, right.” He lapses into silence as he gathers what he wants to say. He’s sorry, he wants to be better, if she’ll give him one more chance he knows he can change. Right, that's a perfectly logical order for things.

Except, the nerves seize him and the minute he opens his mouth, he fumbles. “I want to change. I need to change.”

He needs some fresh air too because suddenly, the room feels suffocating.

“What?” Andrew can hear her confusion as he swings his legs out of bed, planting his feet on the carpeted floor, padding over to the double French doors, easing one side open. A rush of temperate, autumn air nips at his face as Andrew is met with the city in all of its beauty. The dazzling tower off in the distance, the twinkle of hotels, restaurants and apartments spread out before him, turning the sky inky.

It isn’t like this in Wicklow; here, even the night is racked with the buzz of life. Y/n, his city girl, would fit right in.

He’ll never forget how in awe she was when she spent her first night in Wicklow; the amount of stars in the sky, the soft, barely-there, hum of wildlife at the back of his house, the slosh of waves in the distance, far enough to not elicit the sort of anxiety that the ocean does, close enough to lull you to sleep with the rhythmic ‘swish’ as it slops against the rocky shore. She said she hadn't thought that a place could be so quiet. Quiet enough to make you really have to pay attention to your thoughts.

So quiet that you hear your partner's breathing settle in time with yours.

So quiet that you can't help but notice when they're not there anymore, and the loneliness quickly becomes maddening, so you start leaving the television on at night.

“I said I need to change,” he finally repeats, “I…..you asked what more I needed to see.” When he notes a bout of loud laughter in the background, he quickly realizes that she’s probably out with some friends. Maybe colleagues. Maybe someone new that she’s seeing.

“Am I interrupting something?” He asks, hoping she’ll permit him to continue.

The sounds backing her voice become a bit more distant as she says dismissively, “nothing important. Andy,” she sighs heavily and his heart quickens when she calls him that. So many people call him that – family, close friends, even some of his neighbors – but it sounds different when she does it. His logical mind begs that it's simply her accent, but it must be more, he often thinks. It's the hitch in her breath when she starts that ‘ah’ sound. It's the way when she calls out to him, always gentle and soothing.

And tonight, it's the relief that comes with hearing it after he thought he'd lost the pleasure forever.

“What's going on here?”

“I've been thinking,” licking his lips, he leans against the railing. He fixes his tired gaze on a building a block over. It isn’t particularly tall, it isn’t really anything special at all. The only reason he can see it is because there’s a street lamp right in front of it, offering it the most angelic glow. “You asked what more I needed to see before I could commit to you. And its nothing.”

“I don’t understand,” she sighs.

“I don’t have to see, or know or learn anything else for me to realize that I need you in my life,” he swallows thickly, “I want to be better, give you…..commitment. And I’m so sorry didn’t realize it before, I should've – you gave me so much and I just…..I couldn’t even call you my girlfriend,” he pauses; he really needs to steel himself if he’s going to ask for another chance after ripping up her heart, “I know I don’t deserve it, I don’t even have the right to ask, but…..if you could ever bring yourself to give me another chance, things would be different.”

Y/n is quiet for a while, so long that Andrew has to check his phone to make sure they haven’t been disconnected – or she hasn’t hung up on him. Eventually, she sighs heavily and he straightens his back; he’s waiting for the crush that comes when she says it doesn’t matter. He’s already set himself up for the moment where she condemns him to hell.

But it doesn’t come.

“I don’t wanna talk about this over the phone,” Y/n says softly, and then there’s another bout of silence, “you’re in Paris, right?”

“Yeah,” he breathes.

“And then where?”

“Italy.”

Again, there’s nothing for a minute. “Right,” she hums. He swears he can see her, thinking on whatever’s going through her mind, tongue darting out briefly to lick her lips, brows furrowed and head bent slightly. He loves the way she looks when she does that, even if she’s just trying to remember where she left her phone Y/n adopts this very pensive expression, that makes it seem like she’s got the world on her mind. “What're you doing after that?”

“I’ll be home for a while,” he swears he’s told her all of this before, when they’d collided in Los Angeles, for dinner at her hotel and a romp before he was off again, but she must've forgotten. Or she’s using menail chatter to fill the time it takes to decide if she really should meet with him.

“I’ll be in Paris by the end of next week…..for this thing,” she says with such nonchalance that one would never guess that she’s actually referring to a career altering event. “But you’ll be….in Ireland, by then right?”

“Right,” he confirms.

Andrew’s heart leaps into his throat; he didn’t expect that. Not that he’s complaining – it isn’t in his make-up to be able to resist a chance to see her. If she’s offering, then he will oblige. “I’d love that,” his words are all too hasty, yet he can’t even bring himself to quell the eagerness. “Ehm, if you send me your flight details, I'll pick you up at the airport.”

“What if I…..visited? My thing will only a few days, and I'll have some free time after."

“Okay,” she offers meekly.

“Okay,” he mirrors, “we can-” but before he can suggest that they keep in contact during the week, the line clicks dead. Blowing a breath from the ‘o’ of his lips, Andrew shudders and slumps his weight against the wrought iron railing guarding the left side of the little, rectangular space. Holding the phone at his side, he keeps his gaze trained towards the glittering city.

His city girl, he breaks into a faint, wistful smile at the thought of her and its the first time in six damn weeks that the idea of Y/n hasn’t made his eyes prickle or his throat feel tight. The memory of her walking out of the door is slowly being replaced by the image of her with yellow flecks reflected in her eyes, dancing in them like embers on a campfire. Y/n is beside him, her bare shoulder brushing his sleeve and while she stands in awe of the city, seemingly shrunken below them, Andrew is looking at her. She’s wearing green again, a silk, sort of Grecian style dress and there’s something about her slightly agape lips, and the shadows that the combination of low lighting and her long lashes cast on her cheek bones, that makes him gasp quietly;

He swears he’s never seen anyone so beautiful.

Thinking back on it, he must’ve fallen for her that night – the night they met. He hasn’t stopped since then.

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

It's a quieter week as a few shows have just wrapped and the next wave hasn't started yet, but there is still Japanese ql airing, including what is shaping up to be an all time fav. Both of these current airing shows are on Gaga and I highly recommend watching!

Love is Better the Second Time Around

This show is so good, and so mature in exactly the way I hoped. And I don't mean mature as in explicit--there is sex in this show but it's not some wild heat level. It's mature in that it's a story about characters who know themselves, know what they want, and draw boundaries. Both Iwanaga and Miyata are going down as favorite characters for me; I especially love that Miyata is a more knowing and self aware spin on a really well known bl archetype (think Rain from LITA but if he actually knew exactly why he was reacting the way he was to Payu and was mad about it instead of just overwhelmed and confused). This week we got a lot deeper into his teenage hurt over Iwanaga and now have a firm understanding of why he's alternately giving into and resisting this attraction. I am looking forward to Iwanga figuring out how to repair the damage he caused and earn his trust back.

My Strawberry Film

This was easily my favorite episode so far of this meandering little show. Every week I am left wondering what exactly this drama is trying to say and be; it certainly doesn't feel like a bl. We have spent the vast majority of our time on doomed het romance while Ryo quietly pines for his oblivious friend in the background. But this week we finally got to know Minami outside of Hikaru's narrow gaze, and I like her a lot. Her scene with Ryo where they discussed their romantic woes and established each other as a safe zone was very sweet, and showed how perceptive she is about all these dynamics happening around her. I was discussing with @bengiyo whether the show is going for an aromantic read with her, and I'm not sure. I see the makings of it, but the presentation of her feelings on romance feels a bit muddled. I loved her calling Hikaru out on being self-centered and having absolutely no patience for his petty jealousy. Hikaru thinks he likes her, but he doesn't actually know her (or his own best friend). I liked the final scene between Ryo and Hikaru as well, and the terrible angst of Ryo's confession that he immediately took back. The way the lights and audio from oncoming traffic played over his face in that scene was a really fantastic way to communicate both a moment of clarity and a moment of fear in the aftermath. I'm curious to see where this show takes the ending; a romantic conclusion for the two boys would not feel genuine to me at this point, but I could see them leaving us on a note of burgeoning curiosity and hope.

Bonus: No Touching At All

I recently watched this 2014 jbl on @twig-tea's recommendation, and I really loved it (I have already watched it twice and will definitely be doing so again). This is a classic office romance between a young gay man, Shima, and his "straight" boss, Toga. It's a simple story but well executed, and the film has a strong sense of place that I really loved. Shima and Toga have a fairly instantaneous attraction, and Toga is the kind of laidback character who simply never gave much thought to his sexuality and doesn't care about the fact that Shima is a man; he likes who he likes. Shima, however, is carrying a lot of internalized homophobia and trauma from closeted men messing him around in the past, and has a hard time believing in Toga's sincerity. I really love the way this conflict plays out in the story, and I especially love the way Toga talks to Shima. He's a no bullshit kind of guy and he tries his best to reassure Shima, but he's not a pushover, either. Ultimately Shima has to work through his own insecurities and make the choice to be brave to make the relationship work. The ending of this one is amazing and left me feeling very confident in this couple, and I can't recommend it highly enough. It's the grey for this one, unfortunately, but if you have trouble finding it in HQ let me know and I'll point you (don't watch it on YT, the version on there is potato quality).