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Once the fighting is over, Kleio hopes to be able to go back to her ordinary life. But her past makes that impossible.
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So apparently ao3 kind of works again, at least I see some progress on the update-stuff (minor but still)
I'm really thrilled you guys like this fic!
#snk#shingeki no kyojin#attack on titan#aot#ao3#ao3 fanfic#fanfic#female oc#hanji zoë#erwin smith#mike zacharias#friends#update#mentioned sex work#jean kirstein
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When browsing through the wares of a newly opened magic shop you passed by an item that caught your interest, a massive mirror
You peaked inside expecting to see yourself, but instead you saw, a girl? About your height, quite pretty, good taste in fashion… Maybe your mom when she was younger?
It feels weird, in a good way, to see this girl follow all your movements, you couldn’t help but smile, and her smile is radiant
You felt an odd sense of relief… until you looked down to see that, you’re you, of course you are
Why do you feel so sad?
…
“Quite the item isn’t it?”, the Witch tending the shop noticed your interest and started talking to you “a magic mirror that shows you what you’d look like if you were born the opposite sex”
You stare into it
Why do you feel this deep dread?
“But that’s not all it does!” The witch continues “want to see a magic trick?” The witch asks laying a hand on your back
You’re curious to see where this is going, so you nod your head
In one swoop the witch pushes you against the mirror and as you brace yourself to slam into it, stumbling on your feet across the floor, you find yourself slamming into the witch face first
She laughs “I probably didn’t need to push that hard”
As you lay on the ground you feel different, you look as you prepare to push yourself up from the ground you notice your hands… are they smaller?
As you get it up and oriented yourself you glance at the mirror, still the same showing girl you, but how did you get turned around did… did you get
“Sorry” the witch says as her laughter days down “that’s the first time I’ve pushed someone through a mirror, should’ve seen that coming”
You look down and see the dress you’re wearing
“Now cutie” the witch claps her hands, and jumps up! She has a grin you don’t trust “I hoped you enjoyed the trick! If you ever want to become a guy again And I hope you have some savings! Gender-bending magic is quite expensive!”
You stumble back, you can’t turn back? The mirror is showing yo- Girl You, not the real Guy You, so… that’s a no go? You’re way to poor for anything
“But don’t worry cutie, we pay quite well here and just so happen have an opening for a maid and I can assure you, you’ll look just adorable in the uniform”
#though the Witch did “forget” to mention that the only hard part about gender bending is involuntary changes#if you want to force a girl into the body of a boy#then that will be very difficult and expensive#but if the subject deeply desires to have the opposite sex#whether consciously or subconsciously#well then all you need is a simple visit to your closest magic mirror!#.#gentle#forcefem#i-like-talking#..#I want to start a series on the one hand#but on the other I should probably work on my school projects first#so hard to prioritise#that said I hope you cuties still enjoyed the writing I got out!!!#I hope you have a good day cutie!#or sweet dreams if you’re reading this as late as I’m writing it!
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seeingdouble ɘldυobϱniɘɘƨ
KINKTOBER IV: DRUGGED starring: f!reader, megumi [25+], toji [mid 40s] synopsis: megumi is led down a dark path by his assassin father. his moral compass askew, lacking any real social experience, he's left to his own devices with a cute girl. thankfully, toji shows up in time to take control. warnings: murder, violence, spiking, drug use: narcotics + psychedelics. stripper!reader [who sometimes offers sex work]. virgin!megumi. restraints. choking. unprotected sex. incest [pussy sharing, dp, anal] guidance. non-con; reader starts to enjoy it [she is drugged] wc: 4.5k
⋆⁺/ don't like it? block it / do not interact i do not condone taking drugs. spiking is illegal. this is fiction
18+ EXPLICIT SEX | DARK CONTENT | HORROR THEMES
When Toji’s wife passed he managed to sell off his daughter to the notorious Zenin clan for a pretty penny, but decided to keep the ten shadows boy for himself.
Without his wife, daughter and clan, Toji’s life spiralled out of control and he took Megumi down with him.
Toji left everything behind, so did Megumi.
Toji became invisible, so did Megumi.
He corrupted him and dragged him into a cursed life of killing for money.
Leaving his boy in cheap, dusty hotels, Toji would go out to commit murder– it was as simple as grocery shopping for him, only returning home with his shirt all bloody and ripped. Young Megumi would eye his clothing curiously, his gaze wide and innocent, but would be too scared to utter a word. He knows his father has a terrible temper.
This routine continued until Megumi got older, into his late teens, when Toji thought it would be appropriate to start telling the young man about what he did. Then in his early twenties he started taking him along on his sinister missions, hunting. Lacking any formal education or training, he doubted his son would be of any use.
But Megumi had become intelligent and strong in his solitude, reading for entertainment and experimenting with his powers, his shikigami the only life forms to keep him company.
Despite his independence, having Toji as his only guiding light led the younger man to have a somewhat twisted view on reality, and as far as sound moral judgement goes, he simply does not possess it.
As an assassin, Toji likes a quick kill; clean and efficient, usually with a gun or a knife. He can get paid faster that way, delivering the body swiftly and avoiding any trouble.
But he’s noticed his son taking a liking to finishing his victims more personally.
⁺⋆
Another murderous evening had drawn to a close, their hands stained red once again, when he carelessly took his eyes off his son and their victim.
A young, powerful sorceress who’d seemingly pissed off the wrong crowd. Still, a surprisingly easy target for the assassin in training.
“Megumi, s’time to go,” the older man wipes his knife and cautiously looks along the alleyway.
His son is unresponsive.
Toji gets closer, squinting in the dark to find his hands wrapped around her neck.
She’s still alive, barely, but clinging on nonetheless, fading in and out of consciousness.
“What are you doing? Just– just fucking–”
“Wait”
The younger man’s stern voice halts Toji from slitting her throat.
And he watches his son squeeze the life out of the young woman.
His lips twitch when her eyes roll back. But still, his hand remains over her windpipe, feeling her pulse die when the last breaths escape her body.
“Megumi. We need to go.”
His son finally pulls away, and they become invisible once more.
Despite his grisly methods, not only did Megumi prove useful, but their missions also provided for some much needed father-son bonding time.
So, with his son reaching 25 years old, they got into this gruesome habit together, becoming partners.
Another habit Megumi picked up from the older man was his tendency to visit strip clubs after their kill. They were great places to hide, especially if you knew the owners well enough. And Toji knew each and every member of staff in this place; the managers, the bar staff, the girls.
And he knew a certain pretty little girl very well indeed.
Despite his many visits he never made any inappropriate advances, only paid to watch you dance. Maybe a lap dance every now and again if he was feeling particularly self gratuitous.
You share few words, but seem to have a mutual understanding of one another. You know that he loves watching you, and you’ve come to like his stern demeanour and surprisingly respectful attitude, enjoying his ability to scare off creepy customers. He’s kind of like your personal bodyguard at work. You feel lucky to have met him.
Unlike some of the halfwit scumbags that frequent the club, he’s a real man. From his assertive, deep tones, those muscles, perfect for manhandling little girls like you, and those sharp eyes, staring as if he wants your body as much as you want his.
But you have no idea what he does for work– he almost seems nocturnal.
Then you notice that he starts bringing someone else to the club.
His younger brother? His son? You can’t tell. But you know for certain that they’re related as soon as they step in together– their hair is styled differently, but is the same absolute black. The strobe lighting illuminates different colours in the younger man’s eyes, but they have the same glare. Their faces are a slightly different shape, but they have the same wicked smile.
How could there be two of him? One was already enough.
“Meet my son.”
Oh. He might be the same age as me. You think, studying his features– bags under his eyes, more height than muscle, cheeks slightly sunken.
His exchanges are awkward. He looks uncomfortable.
You offer him a dance, not knowing what else to do. You’re here to work, after all.
Toji pays for a private dance and you walk with his son to a booth, the older man giving him a wink and a devilish smile.
You draw the curtains and pause, looking at the way he’s fidgeting.
“Got a girlfriend?”
“No,” he replies tersely, narrowing his eyes.
You ask if he wants a lap dance, but he’s so hesitant that you just end up sitting next to him and chatting instead.
“So, do you enjoy working here?” he sounds less nervous now he’s gotten to know your name, at least.
“Yeah, nice customers for the most part, but the hours are pretty long.”
“Same with my job– the hours, I mean.”
“You don’t work with the public?”
“Sort of…” he trails off, dark eyes darting over your features.
You notice, despite your clothing revealing most of your body to him, that he’s focusing on your lips more than anything.
“You’re um,” he takes a long pause, dragging his gaze back to your eyes, “very pretty.”
How sweet. Your eyes widen slightly, a smile forming on your lips. You’re not used to sweet.
“Th-thank you.” you can’t help the stuttering– the way he’s looking at you with sudden intensity catches your tongue.
“Shall we–” you reach to open the curtain of the private booth, your arm caught in his strong grip, your body freezing.
“You– you can’t touch me–” does he not know that?
“Sorry” he retracts his hand, fiddling with his fingers.
“You change your mind or something?”
“No, I just wanted to… look at you, for a little longer,” you turn to face him again, “if that’s ok.”
So you nod and sit down.
He has a hungry look in his eyes now– he starts with your face, your eyes, in fact, making incredible, unwavering contact until you can’t take it, your pupils darting away to his amusement. Then he finds your mouth, and the way you’re chewing the inside of your cheek.
Then your neck, where he focuses intently on the slow thrum of your jugular. He licks his lips, making you squirm and wish he would’ve accepted the lap dance.
His gaze darts over the rest of your body and you watch the clock tick over to midnight, signalling fifteen minutes and the end of his private… whatever the fuck this was.
“Time’s up.” You stand and reach for the curtain, feeling his eyes remain over your figure as you step out and waltz back to the changing rooms.
You get off early tonight, having a final smoke with your colleagues when you see a text pop through from Toji. After exchanging numbers months ago, he barely contacts you, only asking where you are if you’re not at your regular shift.
[00:14] Toji
Come over?
You’re surprised he’s asking.
You’re tempted– after all, it is for Toji. You’ve been wanting him to reach out to you, thinking that he would’ve made his move much sooner. Every cell in your body is telling you not to do this, but you ignore the feeling, finding his hotel.
You enter the room– luckily for you, in a slightly nicer establishment than usual– still, one that is filled with the smell of alcohol and cannabis, the TV blaring on some late night gambling channel.
So they sit you down, welcoming you into their little games and bets, offering you hard liquor and joints till you’re tipsy.
After Toji’s multiple visits to your workplace, and seeing you at other clubs with your friends, he knows you’re into all kinds of drugs.
He caught you with white powder under your nose on one occasion, your pupils the size of the fucking moon another night, and with a blunt hanging out your mouth after work one evening.
He’s seen it all. He knows you’re a fiend. So… what’s the harm in pushing you a little further? Surely you can take it.
⁺⋆
Your eyelids are growing heavy, your body slumped on the floor against the coffee table while you stare at the TV in stupor. Their joints were just so packed it's nearly finished you off, and the last few drags tasted kinda funny.
“Can we tie her up now?”
You’re not sure if you heard that right, swivelling in the direction of the voice and blinking in disbelief.
You turn to find Toji with his legs spread wide, slouched back on the sofa where you left him, while the younger man stands holding some kind of cord in his hands.
Your eyes widen, your mind jolting awake when you see the way he pulls and grips it, stepping closer to you. Your body lags.
“Mm” Toji grunts, not taking his eyes off the TV.
Megumi takes this as permission to pull you up and drag you to the bedroom, your legs stumbling after your body, your mind succumbing to panic.
His hand tugs at your wrist, while you’re distracted by something strange in the edges of your vision. It’s subtle to start with, colours fading in where they weren’t before, shadows starting to move.
You try to ignore it, blaming the weed and flickering lights playing tricks on your mind.
You’re pulled from your daze when Megumi jerks your arms roughly, your vision readjusting to find yourself on the bed, your wrists forced to the frame in a tight knot of coarse, black rope.
“Mm– Megumi,” your voice comes out more slurred than you expected, confusion crossing your features, “w-what’re you doin’...”
“What does it look like?” He shoots back, his sharp tone making you recoil.
“I, I don’ know– jus’, w-where’s Toji?”
He watches your eyes dart about, enjoying your fearful expression.
You notice a sinister glint behind his indigo irises, his face looming closer and starting to cloud your vision.
You’re squirming now, pushing yourself up the bed, trying to distance yourself from him. But he keeps coming.
“Stay still…” he stops your motions with a single cool hand closing around your ankle, dark eyes trained on your throat again.
Time stops still when he leans in and places a single, chaste kiss over your neck.
He does it slowly. Gently. As if you’re the only one he’d kiss like this. His silent intensity makes you tremble.
He pulls away with a pleased hum, the feeling of your heartbeat making his lips tingle, his dark mess of hair illuminated with a dull halo.
He’s not too far gone. You could still go back.
“Y-you don’ have to do this,” you stumble, your voice cracking.
“I know,” he presses another kiss over your jaw, becoming ravenous now he can almost smell your fear, “but I want to…”
His voice disappears into the crook of your neck, where he starts sucking and tonguing.
He wants to taste you.
There’s a deep ache inside you now, gripping at your heart and filling your lungs, where it spreads to your throat– to where you can feel his mouth over you.
Nobody has ever kissed you like this before.
The way he sucks and bites is cruel, your body starting to flood with pain. If he does it any harder you’re sure he’s going to taste your blood. He’s going to puncture your neck and let it spill.
“M-megumi– please–” your whispered sobs only urge him on, till he’s dragging his canines over you and sinking them into the soft flesh.
His impassioned movements finally ebb as he switches to tending your marked skin with his tongue and lips, inhaling your scent deeply.
He sits up now, looking longingly into your tear stained eyes, his pupils drifting to where your lips are quivering with his name.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he lies, stroking your ankles gently.
Standing up, he watches you shake your head again, begging him not to go any further and that you’d anticipated being with Toji tonight, asking where he is again.
“He’s a little busy…” he cranes his neck to ensure his father is still transfixed by the TV.
“Plus, you should be grateful,” he tugs off his belt, “you get to take my virginity.”
Your eyes fly wide, your mouth dry and gulping for air stupidly.
Just the way he looks puts you on edge– and now you know he has no experience, you can’t begin to fathom what he’s going to do to you.
“Nn-no– thought, thought Toji w-w–”
His next movements are too swift for your idle, drug induced brain to comprehend.
He’s over you, your arms twisted uncomfortably above your head, his cock nudging at the sweet bud of your clit.
That’s the only ‘foreplay’ you’ll be treated to before he slots himself up against your tight, unprepped entrance, shoving your dress and panties aside.
“Toji!!!” you cry out for the older man, “Toji, god–” but your voice is interrupted, choked by his cock sinking into you, hard and deep.
The man before you has changed, his resting scowl paling in comparison to the now fierce arch of his eyebrows.
Why are you crying for his father when he has everything you need right here?
“Ah– haah—” you shake and squirm, struggling with his untamed, crude thrusting.
Your head flies back when he pushes deeper still, slowly working your raw pussy open to the shape of him, while he watches fresh tears trickling over your waterline and gathering beautifully in the corners of your wide, glassy eyes.
“Hm,” he lets a little laugh escape, enjoying your quiet sobbing and whimpering as he gets rougher and dirtier, grabbing and marking your skin.
Your arms start to jostle and tug in the bindings, your wrists aching from the pressure.
“Untie me…” you sniffle.
“Untie you? But I haven’t even got started yet…”
He wipes the tears from your cheeks with his thumb, trailing his hand down your face and stroking the marks on your neck.
“Might untie you after I hear you scream,” he gives you an experimental squeeze, then leans closer, bringing his face down next to yours.
The way he’s talking has you wondering if he really is a virgin, your thought quickly dispelled by his hedonistic thrusting.
You can hear his shaky breath in your ear now, your legs lifting instinctively when you feel him haphazardly pressing on your g-spot.
“Yeah, open up f’me,” he whispers, sucking on your earlobe, his free arm encircling your head to cage you in closer.
You can feel his hips start to jolt unevenly. He’s close.
“D-don– don’ cum inside,” you beg, your eyes getting bleary as he constricts your windpipe.
You feel him smirking over your skin, speeding up his ragged motions, squeezing.
Your pained breaths consume him, urging him to crush your throat with a look in his eyes that makes you believe he’s going to take your life.
His pale, beautiful face hovers above yours, eyes enrapt by every miniscule expression of terror that passes your features.
“S-s—”
Your voice is gone, you can only fight for breath now, your body succumbing to a helpless fit.
You struggle. Kicking. Hips bucking.
He drinks it all in, thrusting mercilessly now.
“You can’t do that to her.”
You hear a sudden deep, booming voice, hands pulled from your neck, air flooding your lungs as you sputter and cough.
Toji takes his son’s arms and bends them behind his back, restraining him instantly and pulling him off you; out of you.
He lets the sight sink in for a moment, words failing him.
Toji’s affected by the drugs and booze, but he can still get some kind of hold on this fucked up situation.
“Look. Just let me show you… what you’re supposed to do,” he drawls into the younger man’s ear before releasing him.
Sure, he needs to take responsibility. But he can’t let you go. Not yet.
You shake your head again, watching the younger man struggling with his achy, hard boner after being denied his first raw dogging orgasm.
His father readjusts you on the bed to his own liking, leaving you tied up and taking your thighs in his beefy hands. He dips his head low, lips skimming over your neglected clit.
“‘M feelin’ hungry…” he mutters, proceeding to swirl his tongue through your heat, where his son’s cock was digging moments ago, humming while parting your labia and licking sensually at your little jewel.
However done you are with this situation, overcome with lightheadedness from your choking, you’re glad to at least be sent reeling through a few much needed orgasms.
And now you’ve had a chance to breathe and relax a little, you’re becoming aware of a shift in your consciousness.
Your body is right here, in this moment, experiencing every fleeting detail in high definition. But your mind is somewhere else, overcome with a feeling of simultaneous presence and dissociation.
The older man sits up, patting the bed for his son to join him.
“You ok, doll?”
He watches you look around curiously, taking in the room that’s now bending and changing before you.
“Think the lsd’s kickin’ in…” he mutters, “just lay back, promise we’re not gunna hurt ya.”
“The-the what?” you stutter, your hands starting to tense and grip in the restraints.
“Look, there were a few drops of acid in that last wrap, jus’ relax, ok?”
Fuck. You knew you shouldn’t have come here.
You let it sink in, taking a deep breath so you don’t lose your cool. You cannot let your mind spiral on this drug.
“That’s it,” he encourages you, “good girl. Jus’ let go.”
You give up trying to fight it, obeying his gentle tones, working past the nausea to find your mind and body entering a different headspace.
Reality fades in and out, feeling their tongues on you, one after the other, switching and exchanging till you’re unaware of what’s happening to you.
You can only sense their touch, submitting your body to the chemical pleasure.
Your clothes are torn off now, soft, deep words being exchanged until you feel them shifting around.
You feel the unmistakable nudging of a hardened cock at your entrance once more. Only this time, it slips through your folds easily, your slick hole welcoming the long, hard member.
You blink slowly, your vision wobbling as your mind enters a trance in sync with their rhythm.
“Megumi?” no, “Toji?” you honestly can’t tell, your faculties slowly dulling as the powerful drug takes over.
You reach out your arms hoping to discern who’s inside you, only for their body to move away as another frame enters your view.
You feel his cock sink in, hips rolling and stimulating your senses till you’re creaming and moaning around his girth.
“T-tojii–” you’re sure it must be the older man. He feels strong, manhandling you and pushing you wider.
But he pulls away too soon.
You focus hard, seeing both of them now, one figure in front of the other, one man guiding, the other following.
“...like this… take her… deep…” you can only make out a few words, wide eyes distracted by the scar on his lips.
But the way Megumi’s cock slides in is completely different than before– the feral jackhammering transformed into long drags, smooth and hard.
They exchange words, Megumi’s movements getting greedier until you feel his body consuming yours in a display of lust and passion so strong you let out a scream of his name.
The sound of your voice, combined with the grip of your pussy that’s drenched with the slick of a fresh orgasm, rips a groan from his depths.
You hear him panting and moaning, his thrusts getting sloppy, until he’s drawn out of you again.
That was close. You think, realising his father pulled him away before he could spill inside you.
Things are getting blurry now. They’re both over you, on you, in you.
With the surreal visuals taking over, your mind enters another realm while they kiss and fuck and share your body.
Spiky black hair, blue and green eyes flashing, hard muscles and sadistic smiles are all you can see.
Their images burn into your retina, becoming a blurred mirage of nightmarish beauty.
A sight that you will never forget.
Now that Toji’s brought his son up to speed and you’re all wet, you honestly can’t tell who is who.
So you sink into it, enjoying the spiralling visions behind your closed eyelids while they draw waves of orgasmic pleasure from your body.
They bend and move you, pinning your legs back, pushing deeper, then onto your knees. You’re getting so absorbed in the trip now, the euphoric energy taking over, that you’re only partly aware that you’re being lifted.
You’re off the bed, you know that much.
You’re in a pair of strong arms. It’s Toji. You smile, your eyes clearing to see his roguishly handsome face before you.
“Hey pretty girl,” he places tender kisses over your lips, and you accept them with pleasure, “gunna try somethin’ fun now…”
You giggle, liking the sound of that very much.
He holds you, his massive cock melting into your core so deep he’s going to become a part of you, then slides his fingers over your ass.
You feel another body behind you. Megumi.
You turn, feeling his lips over you as well, murmuring sweet praise in your ear the whole while.
You feel him sliding over your ass now, through the wet juice of your pussy, pushing into the tight ring.
“Oh, oh my– fuck–” he edges in, his father thrusting slowly while urging him to be gentle.
“Haahhh–” you breathe out, your head falling back onto Megumi’s hard shoulder where he caresses your skin with his lips.
“That’s– that’s fucking good,” he hums in your ear, pushing himself all the way back while grabbing your ass.
They cradle you, thrusting in tandem, as you reach a new level of bliss.
Hearing them, feeling them takes you higher, until you can only sense their deep moans vibrating through you, the drag of their cocks.
Your thoughts turn slippery, losing focus on the world around you, wondering how you ended up here in the first place, realising that you don’t care.
Right now, you care about the man in front of you, tall and broad, scarred lip between his teeth with dark green eyes fixed on yours.
His ever sombre stare resides behind those fiery irises.
It captivates you.
Your body is convulsing with dopamine once more, slurred thank yous leaving your lips, and all you can concentrate on is counting the shades of green in his eyes.
Flecks of amber shimmer within the emerald, his lashes blinking slowly, eyebrows quirking.
“Watcha lookin’ at?”
“Mm, pretty,” is all you can muster at this time, earning a snort of laughter.
He mutters under his breath and starts taking you harder till you feel him pulling you off his son and pushing you down on the bed.
Your legs spread, wide and obedient, holding yourself by the knees while he takes your nipples between his lips, between his teeth.
“How many times s’that now?” he feels you clenching and bucking again.
You just giggle and sigh, stroking his obsidian strands in a dreamy state.
He hums with pleasure; you feel his nose dipping into your neck, where he places soft, gentle kisses, in contrast to his now animalistic pace.
Letting off hot grunts and moans, he finally spills his hot, wet cum.
He pulls away, his son entering your vision once more.
Angling your ass up, he guides himself in again, enjoying the way your tight muscle spasms around him, but takes him all nonetheless.
His hips get nasty, drawing whimpers from you until he nears his release, growling and sinking his teeth into your marked skin.
“Fuck– fuck–” you tug at his jet black spikes, encouraging him to take all he needs until you feel his hot load shoot deep into you.
“Ugh, oh princess– fuck me–” he sighs, strong muscles overcome with exhaustion as he watches your beautiful features relax once more.
You feel peaceful, watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest, the way his hair hangs over those dark eyes.
Your wavering vision absorbs his graceful figure in all his glory, your mouth opening before your brain catches up.
“Art” you poke at his hardened stomach, earning a slight smile, “artist.” You look up at his father now, appreciating the view as he stands before you.
You giggle, laying back and focusing on the ebb and flow of your breath, feeling your senses leave you, your eyes resting as you enter transcendental sleep.
⁺⋆
You wake to find your body bare, but clean.
There’s no longer white liquid oozing from you– just soft, warm sheets and the fresh smell of soap.
You climb out of the bed, stepping to the bathroom, eyes still half lidded and hazy.
You look in the mirror, finding kaleidoscopic visuals in the reflection, where the glass bends and trembles.
But you can see your face. Unscathed. Unharmed. You look down. It’s just a few bruises. You’re fine.
Despite their questionable methods, this has been a good trip… and you have to admit, a very good fuck.
So in your giddy state, you tiptoe out to the main room, watching their heads turn from the TV, grins emerging.
“Mornin’ honey,” Toji coos. It’s dark outside. You have no idea what time it is.
You step over to the sofa, sinking between the two men again, taking their lips and tongues while their hands roam and fondle your body.
You sit back, enjoying how they’re drawn to you magnetically, allowing their pleasure to fill your body once more while you ride out the most ethereal high of your life.
⋆⁺ [see you in hell]
toji | m.list
#kinktober#kinktober 2023#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro smut#megumi fushiguro#megumi fushiguro smut#tw: murder#tw: violent death#tw: violence#tw: sex work#tw: inc*st#tw: drugs#tw: dubious consent#tw: dubcon#tw: noncon#tw: sex#tw: sex mention
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also like yea dean doing sex work (for survival) is fanon but there ARE enough little canon moments to subtextually support it so like, if you add those experiences along with his michael possession arc, hell trauma (repeatedly tortured and violated for 30 yrs), the way he's the only one out of sam and cas who has not slept w/ someone who was possessed, the way he has to psych himself up for sex, the way we canonically see / hear abt him having sex very little for a 15 yr period, the way he doesn't sleep w/ the sex worker who's clearly not into him or as into her job as she says she is, the way he know what roofies look like and to keep an eye out for them, the way it's implied he was drugged underage at a club......like, he would be thee most normal abt sex and respecting boundaries, asking for explicit consent AND he would NOT fuck if he were possessing someone else !! like go back to dean studies 101 if you disagree with any of this bc you do not know this guy
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angie <3 the villain HQ receptionist, she compels whoevers close to tell the truth and jetts really bad at getting around that
#SEX MENTION BE CAREYFL !!#lol#murph an joanies supernormal#jett stetson#angie is my favourite npc i think#she has a work crush on dr marley#my art#art#artist on tumblr#digital art#oc#sketch
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come on babe we've got a video to film here
#I was surprised not to see anyone mention this moment#bc I immediately read it as dan joking about getting sex out of the way before work#like the way he looks at phil like that after saying it...#looking for his reaction#now that I'm watching it again it definitely could just be a funny impression of phil impatiently waiting for the miracle of birth#but it's exactly like bye have fun at work sweetie#ugh. we get it#dan and phil#phan#dnp#dapg#dan and phil games#daniel howell#amazingphil#dip and pip#dress to impress in real life#almost all of these clothes were so trash it was actually upsetting lol
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sleeping with ace is frustrating. you sit up as ace's arm is loosely wrapped around your waist, his hat on the floor beside the bed as he snores loudly— drool dribbling down his cheek.
he looks cute but.. you need sleep too, he's way too hot— his skin almost burning you with the sickening heat. you were already underneath a blanket and cuddling.. plus, you hate sweating.
you gently push him, "baby.. baby, wake up.. ace, c'mon boo, get up." you continously do it until he groans, rolling over— jumping up when you slap his back, "girl, why you hit me like that?—"
"cus i told you to get up 'n you wouldn't listen, babe." you frown, gently pushing him away when he tries to hug you—
he frowns, "what? did i do somethin' in my sleep or?"
"you make me sweat."
he wiggles his eyebrows, "if that's what ya wanted, shoulda jus' told me." he moves in for a kiss, rewarding him with your hand on his mouth.
"ace, your skin is too hot, i'm fucking sweating buckets, babe. please, get me some ice."
he groans rolling out of bed, "can't we just open a window?" he says as he sighs, walking towards the kitchen area before you yell behind him— "i ain't smelling salt water all night, ace !" he yells back a quick 'i get it'. in a few seconds he comes back with a cloth and a full bucket of ice— "for you, m'lady."
"thanks, handsome." first, you place some cubes in your mouth already sighing at the cold, as ace wraps the cloth around a handful of ice cubes and begins patting it on your skin— blowing on your wet skin to make it cooler for you.
"god, i'm gonna end up as a househusband aren't i?"
"hell no, i ain't working" you laugh as he places a hot kiss to your neck, a contrast to the coldness on you— "mhh, yeah, can't make my pretty wife work– especially if she's g'nna be carrying my kids—"
"ace, don't start thinking with your dick."
#portgas d ace#domestic life with his ass is funny#working on dialogue skill#ace fluff#mention of sex/dick at the end#portgas d ace fluff#one piece ace#one piece ace fluff#op fluff#op ace#op ace fluff#op ace x reader#poc reader
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#Sam Winchester#Dean Winchester#samedit#deanedit#spnedit#SPN#spn 5.05#hunter's helper#self medication#the way they wrote this scene is interesting to me#played for humor but still they wrote him drinking#as well as making dean's job sound like sex work#they so often casually mention his drinking and drug use#just the little hints that putting his body on the line takes a toll#danistuff#p.s. love the ongoing labor/class divide in the kripke years
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All evidence suggests yes
#starting a new power scaling system for the warlords of the sea but im rating them based on whether i think theyre an ally or homophobic#kuma is an ally because photos dont lie and hes clearly wearing an ally pin#also you cant spend that much time around somebody with the title “Queen of the Queers” and somehow be homophobic afterwards#unless youre sanji but hes still on his internalized homophobia growth arc. i believe in you buddy you can beat this#crocodile is trans and baroque works is the alphabet mafia in a literal form#with that said. he has the energy of “im not homophobic yall are just annoying”#doffy has the energy of a homophobic homosexual#like hed kiss a guy and then call him a f*g and throw him out a nearby window#jimbei joins the strawhats so ofc HES an ally#blackbeard sucks but i dont think hes homophobic#hes one of those people you meet and theyre just the worst all around and youre like “man this guy has gotta be homophobic”#somebody mentions their partner and you go “oh boy here it is” but he just has no reaction whatsoever#hes such a problem but at least hes not homophobic on top of everything else#Gecko Moria is such a virgin that i dont think he knows being gay exists any more than he knows being straight does#Typa MFer who thinks “sex” is just a synonym for gender#also hed see your top scars and get excited because he thinks youre a zombie#gecko moria probably thinks LGBT is an acronym for some branch of the navy that he doesnt know (or care) about#Because Boa lives on Sapphic island i would jump the gun and immediately say she's an ally but i feel that its more complicated than that#not unlike moria. she also doesnt actually have a real strong grasp on being straight vs being queer#but thats just because shes used to everybody being whipped for her equally#somebody tries to explain it to her and shes just like “??? but theyre all obsessed with me?”#if she ever encounters a gay man it will be a reality shifting event for her#id say itd be the same if she met a sex/romance indifferent aroace but like#monkey d luffy#its already happened#mihawk is probably both an ally and queer himself but he just minds his own business so much that we may never know#one piece#seven warlords#warlords of the sea#bartholomew kuma
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Dionysus Deity Guide
Content warning: Dionysus is linked heavily with sexuality and sexual themes will be prevalent throughout this post.
Who is Dionysus?
Also spelled “Dionysos”, he is the Greek god of wine, ecstasy, and theatre to name a few of his areas of expertise. He was later adopted by the Romans who referred to him as Bacchus. Dionysus was known as being “twice born” due to the story of his birth(s).
The story of Dionysus’ birth is a tragedy, beginning his life with his mother’s death. The story goes that Hera caught wind of Semele’s pregnancy with Zeus’ child and convinced her to ask Zeus to show her his true godly form in order to prove that he really was Zeus. This true form was too much for a mortal to handle and Semele was consumed by fire—or the heat Zeus’ lightning bolts. Not wanting his child to die with her, Zeus sewed Dionysus into his own thigh (thought to mean his testicles).
Parents and Siblings
Zeus (Father)
Semele (Mother)
Demeter (Mother, at times)
Persephone (Mother in Orphic mythos)
Siblings
Aeacus
Angelos
Apollo
Ares
Artemis
Athena
Eileithyia
Enyo
Eris
Ersa
Hebe
Helen of Troy
Hephaestus
Heracles
Hermes
Minos
Pandia
Persephone
Perseus
Rhadamanthus
Tantalus
the Graces
the Horae
the Litae
the Muses
the Moirai
Lovers or Partners
Ariadne (Wife/Consort)
Aphrodite
Aura
Beroe
Cronois
Nicaea
Althaea
Erigone
Pellene
Physcoa
Ampelus
Polymnus or Hyplipnus
Children
HYMENAIOS/Hymenaeus (Son)
IAKKHOS (Iacchus) (Son)
METHE (Daughter)
PASITHEA (Daughter)
PRIAPOS/Priapus (Son)
SABAZIOS/Sabazius (Son)
TELETE (Daughter)
THYSA (Daughter)
DEIANEIRA (Daughter)
EURYMEDON (Son)
KERAMOS/Ceramus (Son)
NARKAIOS/Narcaeus (Son)
OINOPION/Oenopion (Son)
PEPARETHOS/Peparethus (Son)
PHANOS (Son)
PHLIASOS or PHLIAS (Son)
STAPHYLOS/Staphylus (Son)
THOAS
Epithets
Note: Dionysus has many epithets and to create a list of all of them would make this post WAY too long so I’ve added as many as I could while retaining a good length for the post. :,>
Dionysus Eleutherios ("the liberator")
Acratophorus, Ἀκρατοφόρος ("giver of unmixed wine"), at Phigaleia in Arcadia
Acroreites at Sicyon
Androgynos Ἀνδρόγυνος (androgynous, specifically in intercourse) referring to the god taking both an active male and a passive female role.
Bassareus, Βασσαρεύς a Thracian name for Dionysus, which derives from bassaris or "fox-skin", which item was worn by his cultists in their mysteries.
Braetes, Βραίτης ("related to beer") at Thrace
Cistophorus Κιστοφόρος ("basket-bearer, ivy-bearer"), Alludes To baskets being sacred to the god.
Dimetor Διμήτωρ ("twice-born") Refers to Dionysus's two births.
Dendrites Δενδρίτης ("he of the trees"), as a fertility god.
Enorches ("with balls"), with reference to his fertility, or "in the testicles" in reference to Zeus' sewing the baby Dionysus "into his thigh", understood to mean his testicles). Used in Samos and Lesbos.
Iacchus, Ἴακχος a possible epithet of Dionysus, associated with the Eleusinian Mysteries. In Eleusis, he is known as a son of Zeus and Demeter. The name "Iacchus" may come from the Ιακχος (Iakchos), a hymn sung in honor of Dionysus.
Lenaius, Ληναῖος ("god of the wine-press")
Phleus ("related to the bloοm of a plant").
Pseudanor Ψευδάνωρ (literally "false man", referring to his feminine qualities), in Macedonia.
Tauros, Ταῦρος ("a bull"), occurs as a surname of Dionysus.
(Wiki)
Notes
Dionysus may have been worshipped as early as c. 1500–1100 BC by Mycenaean Greeks.
After birth Dionysus was said to have been sent to be cared for by Nymphs at Mount Nysa, the identities of these Nymphs varies by source.
His wife, Ariadne, was abandoned by Theseus on the island of Naxos. In some myths she is slain and/or ascends to immortality to live with her husband on Mt. Olympus.
Once he was an adult, Dionysus traveled to the underworld to bring his mother back with him to Olympus where it’s said that Zeus then turned her into the goddess Thyone—Goddess of the Bacchic frenzy that his female followers experience.
Dionysus is regularly found with groups of satyrs and maenads.
Another name the Greeks had for Dionysus was Bacchus, this was the name the Romans would later adopt for the god. Bacchus means “the noisy or riotous god”, fitting for this buck-wild deity! (Said with affection, of course.)
Along with wine, ecstasy, and theatre, Dionysus was known as a god of vegetation, madness, and frenzy along with quite a few other specializations.
Once a group of pirates kidnapped Dionysus who planned to sell him as a slave (or other unsavory things, depending on the myth); he overran their boat with creeping vines and beasts, and caused the men to go insane, then turned them into dolphins as they jumped overboard.
Dionysus has been depicted in many ways over time but two prevalent depictions are either him as an androgynous youth or an old, bearded man.
Apparently Dionysus hates owls; rather he hates the “sight of an owl” (Theoi)
As Bacchus he was commonly depicted as having ram or bull horns.
Dionysus had many cults throughout the ancient world including not just Greece, but in Scythia, Eastern Europe, Libya, North Africa and Gaul, Southern France as well.
Modern Deity Work
Correspondences
These are not all historically accurate. Anything that has a background in ancient tradition will be marked with a (T).
Rocks/Stone/Crystals
Grape Agate
Amethyst (it was believed that this stone could protect you from drunkenness)
Antimony
Gold
Garnet
Ruby
Herbs/Plants
Pinecone & Pine tree (due to his staff being tipped with a pinecone) (T)
Grapes/grapevines (T)
Ivy (T)
Asphodel (T)
Animals
Leopard or Panther
Tiger
Bull
Serpent
Dolphins (T)
Fawns (his followers were said to wear fawn-skins)
Important Dates
Dionysia
Haloa
Ascolia
Lenaia
Bacchanalia
Offerings
Wine (T)
Objects or imagery of the aforementioned items and animals
Fruit or fruit salad
Honey
Beer
Acts of Devotion
Go buck-wild (half joking here)
Dance
Host festivities
Sing
Attend, write, or act in a play (T)
Sign, create, or recite Hymns to Dionysus (T)
Protect or be an ally for queer, androgynous, and gender non-conforming folks
Dress up in costumes
Make a mask for him (T)
Have sex or solo sex
As the god of comedy he'd also probably enjoy stand-up comedians just sayin
Be yourself!! Dionysus is especially known to love on outcasts.
All in all, how you interact with a deity is up to you, these are simply a few suggestions for you based on my readings!
References and Further Reading
Dionysus - Britannica
Dionysus - Wikipedia
Dionysos - Theoi
The Bacchae - Ancient-Literature
The Masque of Dionysus by Helene P. Foley
The Frogs - Aristophanes (wiki summary, but there are free pdfs of the translated story!)
Misc Myths: Dionysus - Overly Sarcastic Productions
Ecstasy and Possession: The Attraction of the Women to the Cult of Dionysus
Cult of Dionysos - Theoi
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Angel laughs a lot during sex.
I don't mean when he's on the job. He's a professional, and the last thing any of his John's tend to want him doing is laughing. The clientele he has... they'd rather he be sobbing or gagging or not be making any noise at all.
But when he's with Husk it's giggles galore. He scoffs. He chuckles. He's so fucking expressive and Husk fucking Loves It. When Angel gets a bee in his bonnet and wants to ride him? He makes a fucking meal out of it. Only when he's close to his limit, thighs trembling and every set of arms grasping at something, the sheets, the headboard, Husk, only then do the giggles stop, replaced by the most gorgeous, devastating determination to get them both there at the same time
He's never been the praying sort, but it's in those moments Husk thinks he sees heaven in his Angel. Sees a glimmer of the divine when Angel whispers his name, curling around him with a desperate cry into his chest and-- and--
Jesus, I think I need to sleep
#huskerdust#cw suggestive#cw nsft#the demons are winning my dudes#might be time to start writing again just to purge them 👍#cw sa mention#cw sa implied#sa mention#sa implied#wanna cover all bases here#just in case#cw sex work#void bitten posts
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If you don’t mind constructive criticism, I just wanna say, outright using the word “sex” is a bit inappropriate. Like, you mentioned this blog will never depict sexual content on screen, but stating that word onscreen seems a bit…much. I know the header states that there might be some content of that sort but I still think it would be better if you refrain from directly stating that word, since a notable number of your fans are minors.
I disagree. Strongly.
First of all, having frank discussions about sex is not inappropriate. Sex is a normal part of human life and the more taboo we make it the less prepared people are for actually interacting with it. Saying I shouldn't mention sex outright because some of my audience are minors is like saying there shouldn't be sex ed in schools because it would be inappropriate and that's just not true. It's been proven over and over that sex ed and discussing sex with minors in a responsible way leads to them having safer sex when they do decide to become sexually active. So no, it's not inappropriate for me to mention sex.
Secondly, how is saying the word sex any worse than strongly alluding to the fact that Razor has sexually assaulted Scorchplume? Is the latter fine just because I never say "sex" outright? Because I would argue that THAT is probably the thing that edges closest into being NSFW and it's still not inappropriate and I'm not going to stop doing either of those things because this is a story about human connections (told through cats) and that includes how they engage with sex. That's the story I want to tell and it's resonated with a lot of people and I'm not going to censor myself.
Thirdly, even if there are minors in my audience, it's not my job to control the content they engage with. Like I've said, I'm never going to depict sexual content on screen so I don't think I have to cordon my work off just because some of the characters have sex lives and talk about them sometimes. My stuff is no worse than most teen dramas anyway. If my work makes a minor uncomfortable then thats on them to stop engaging with my work. I'm not going to stop making what I want to make bevause some minors found it. Its not like i cultivated a young audience on purpose so I could show them something inappropriate. I don't think my work is inappropriate in the first place and just because it's mature doesn't mean I should change its content so its more "kid friendly" or that I need to police who is reading it.
So I won't be taking that piece of criticism. If you take constructive criticism, I would urge you to re-examine why you think saying the word sex is inappropriate and then educate yourself on why sex ed and frank discussions of these kinds of topics is important.
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CW: Drug Use Disorder, mentions of sex work, briefly mentioned/implied sex, pain
Volume 1: Isolation
First - Previous - Next - Last
#mlp ask blog#quarantined redheart#pony ask blog#mlp fim#mlp g4#nurse redheart#earth pony#my little pony friendship is magic#volume 1: isolation#bat pony#moonshadow quid#moony#pegasus#luminous breeze#cw drugs#cw sex work#cw sex mention#cw pain
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as yr favorite local jason todd fan sometimes i get so fed up with the apparent inability of most dc comic writers to write a class conscious narrative about him.
and yes, i know that comics are a very ephemeral and constantly evolving and self-conflicting medium.
and yes, i know they’re a profit-driven art medium created in a capitalistic society, so there are very few times where comics are going to be created solely out of the desire to authentically and carefully and deliberately represent a character and take them from one emotional narrative place to another, because dc cares about profit and sometimes playing it safe is what sells.
and yes, i know comics and other forms of art reflect and recreate the society within which they were conceived as ideas, and so the dominant societal ideas about gender and race and class and so on are going to be recreated within comics (and/or will be responded to, if the writer is particularly societally conscious).
but jesus christ. you (the writer/writers) have a working class character who has been homeless, who has lost multiple parents, who has been in close proximity to someone struggling with addiction, who has had to steal to survive, who may have (depending on your reading of several different moments across different comics created by different people) been a victim of csa, who has clearly (subtextually) struggled with his mental health, who was a victim of a violent murder, and who has an entirely distinct and unique perspective on justice that has evolved based on his lived experiences.
and instead of delving into any of that, or examining the myriad of ways that classism in the writers’ room and the editors’ room and the readers’ heads affected jason’s character to make sure you’re writing him responsibly, or giving him a plotline where his views on what justice looks like are challenged by another working class character, or allowing him to demonstrate actual autonomy and agency in deciding what relationships he wants to have with people who he loves but sees as having failed him in different ways, or thinking carefully about what his having chosen an alias that once belonged to his murderer says about his decision-making and motivations, you keep him stuck in a loop of going by the red hood, addressing crime by occupying a position of relative power that perpetuates crime & harm rather than ever getting at the root causes, and seesawing between a) agreeing with his adoptive family entirely about fighting nonlethally in ways that are often inconsistent with his apparent motivations or b) disagreeing and experiencing unnecessarily brutal and violent reactions from his adoptive father as if that kind of violence isn’t the kind of thing he experienced as a child and something bruce himself is trying to prevent jason from perpetuating. because a comic with red hood, quips, high stakes, and familial drama sells.
it doesn’t matter if it keeps jason trapped, torn between an unanswered moral and philosophical question, a collection of identities that no longer fit him, and a family that accepts him circumstantially. it doesn’t matter if jason’s characterization is so utterly inconsistent that the only way to mesh it together is to piece different aspects of different titles and plotlines together like a jigsaw. it doesn’t matter if you do a disservice to his character, because in the end you don’t want to transform him or even understand him deeply enough to identify what makes him compelling and focus on that.
and i love jason!!!!! i love him. and i think about the stories we could have, if quality and art and doing justice to the character were prioritized as much as selling a title and having a dark and brooding batfam member besides bruce just to be the black sheep character are prioritized. and i just get a little sad.
#jason todd#jason todd meta#red hood#batfam#batman#dc comics#comic analysis#classism#tw: csa mention#maybe someday half of the most intriguing and nuanced aspects of his character will be touched upon#red hood outlaw 51-52 had some cool moments wrt jason + class + hometown friends + systems of power but. that was a two issue arc#and even then it was admittedly messy#GOD i want him to be three dimensional and well rounded and well used#even if a writer wrote a fucking. filler comic for an annual or smthn exploring what jason does outside of being red hood#keep the name if u want. have him have deliberately taken the name of his killer and twisted it until ppl from his city know rh#as a protector of kids and the poor and sex workers and so on. that WORKS. but show him connecting w his community#have him get involved in mutual aid. have him do something when he’s not out as red hood at night. let us see jason & barbara interact more#or jason and steph !!!!!!!! or another positive but complicated dynamic (he has a lot of those)#i just. i think that his stagnancy makes me fucking sad. i liked some aspects of task force z. felt like it ended too soon tho#FUCK the joker lets unpack his self concept & have him be a real person outside of vigilanteism (?) and vengeance#i liked some aspects of the cheer arc in batman urban legends mostly bc he had SOME agency and bc he wasn’t completely flat#even tho i hate the retconning of robin jason being angry and moody and so on#part of the problem is we don’t see him too too often for more than semi brief appearances so im so happy to see him i’ll just accept it#love the idea of a nightwing & red hood team up comic. hate that tom taylor a) wrote it and b) gave jason that stupid ass line abt justice#u think this man trusts cops ????? or the legal system !????????? BITCH.#get jason todd into like a sociology / gender and intersectionality / feminist studies class NOWWWWW#ok im done im sleepy and going to watch nimona. thx for reading to anyone who did#PLS anyone who reads this let me know what u think im frothing at the mouth rn#wes.txt#mine
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Tfa decepticon reddit.com equivalent:
R/tifu: tifu by asking my (7000000M) conjunx (500000M) if he thinks his much hotter friend (20000M) would be a surrogate carrier for us [edit #1] you must understand this is not me being lecherous. I love my conjunx but his hot friend's hips are as wide as my conjunx is tall. [Edit #2] stop sending me DMs asking for the comm code of my conjunx's friend. (Megop)
R/relationships: my (6800000M) conjunx (15000M) keeps frantically asking me if he is "the hot friend" of his group. Does he want me to lie to him? because his friend (20000M) is as wide as he is tall and can destroy buildings by sitting on them. [edit #1] no I AM NOT going to give you worms the comm code of the hot friend FRAG OFF. [Blitzbee]
R/vent: my (6700000M) conjunx (5000000M) lost the sparkling again [lockprowl]
R/medicine: [meta] stop posting creepshots of that autobot ambulance and asking if anyone knows his designation, current location, or comm code. Not only are these thirstposts off topic, he who shall not be named starts spamming the entire subreddit to defend his conjunx's honor [edit #1] it's only been 2 cycles and I had to delete ten different comments. Drift stop making alts to post here you aren't even a medic OR a decepticon
R/advice: a 60 page long post from Lugnut lamenting about finding an autobot [bulkhead] sexually attractive for the first time in his life and how to "stop betraying the decepticon cause". He vaguely describes the autobot, and the comments are a wall of "that is not an autobot. You have encountered a fertility deity crafted by primus's servo. Its ok to want to fuck him"
what i've learned from this is that tfa Bulkhead is one sexy bastard, and all the 'Cons kind of wanna get him pregnant (classic case of “I want a big fat bitch but i'm dating this skinny twink instead” truly sad), and that tfa Ratchet is also one sexy bastard and all the 'Cons wanna get him pregnant. This still severely baffles the rest of team prime, who all secretly thought they were the hottie of the team. and of course, the prowl miscarriage arc thickens. I know a twink with that little waist can’t carry a sparkling to term. His ass is not sexy in ’Con culture at all.
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Can jirais be white? Maybe this is a stupid question, maybe it’s a white privileged ass question, but I’m genuinely wondering because I keep seeing people on Jirai Twitter flaming the opinions of white jirais. Like, I’m white and I’ve spent a long time couch surfing, doing sex work to survive, having my interpersonal relationships crumble at every turn, I cut I drink I smoke I do drugs…but what, my opinions don’t matter because I’m not from Japan?? I’m honestly fucking lost, I found a place I fit in but I don’t know anymore. And what about jirais who don’t live in Japan, that don’t do sex work, don’t spend frivolously in host clubs or aren’t homeless??? Are the rest of their issues that make them a landmine forfeited simply because they don’t check a few of the other boxes? I don’t understand, I need to ask someone. People are always going to complain that you aren’t fucked up enough.
Help.
I don’t think it’s a stupid question at all!
Please note that I’m not an expert or a spokesperson for Jirai Kei, I’m also not Japanese, I don’t speak Japanese - I would take my opinion with a grain of salt. I don’t actually feel qualified to talk abt this tbh T_T
The general sentiment that I see is that white (or otherwise non-Japanese) people can be Jirai Kei but be respectful & understanding about it.
To my knowledge “Jirai” is a term used to stereotype someone as a “crazy girl” or “crazy girlfriend” - it’s not really tied to any specific action or set of symptoms. It is often used against girls who do have scars or wear ryousangata or work in sex work or con cafes, but it’s also used against people who don’t do those things. Its not an endearing term or point of pride, it’s used derogatorily. “Jirai Kei” is playing off of that term. It’s similar to how in western societies people call anyone who looks slightly alternative “emo” but to my knowledge “jirai” has stronger negative connotations than “emo” does & is still used in a derogatory manner.
I think it’s important to know that Jirai Kei was born out of Kabukicho. There are a lot of themes of sex work, self harm, emotional instability, addiction, host club or boy band obsessions, homelessness, etc. They are important parts of the subculture, but it also has grown a lot since 2019. You don’t have to engage in or have a history with those things to be “Jirai Kei”, but you have to understand & be respectful of the fact that those are very common themes in the subculture.
Generally, it’s agreed that Jirai Kei is a space for mentally unstable people. This doesn’t mean that you have to be venting online or constantly in distress or anti-recovery: more so, you know what it’s like to be in a dark place and you’re respectful / understanding of that, whether you’re currently in that place or not. It’s similar to menhera but a bit more jaded. Menhera’s core things are accessibility, awareness, support, positivity, understanding, acceptance, etc. Some people find more comfort in Jirai Kei because sentiments of not being ready to or able to recover are generally a bit more accepted, although many people are part of both subcultures.
Additionally, it’s important to note that as foreigners, we can’t really “reclaim” Jirai - it’s not a term that is used against us. We don’t live in the same socioeconomic setting that Jirai Kei was born out of. A big example of this is social reaction to the fashions associated with Jirai Kei, like dark girly kei and ryousangata. When I go out in my town in a dark girly coord I don’t get called an emotionally unstable mass produced sex worker, people usually say I look really nice or cute or generally compliment me. Very very different reactions, and that’s important to acknowledge. Our experiences are different. That doesn’t mean we can’t relate to or find comfort in or be a part of Jirai Kei, but it’s important to know that Japanese Jirais and foreign Jirais have very different experiences even with the same things. I liken it to foreign gals. Gyaru is a pushback against Japanese beauty standards, so when you’re a foreigner gyaru styles often aren’t contrary to beauty standards you’re subjected to, but it’s still generally okay to be gyaru as a foreigner as long as you understand that. Just be respectful / understanding about that ykwim?
Most of the time when I see people complaining about white girls in Jirai Kei they’re mostly complaining about girls who are only into the fashion or cute parts of Jirai and try to sanitize the subculture. Essentially - you can’t come into a Japanese subculture based around mental struggles as a foreigner and decide you’re going to denounce parts of it to make it more acceptable. That’s kind of weird & disrespectful in my opinion. It’s fine to only want to engage in the cutesy parts like girly kei and collecting boy band photo cards, but it’s not really Jirai Kei, which is fine just like… don’t call it Jirai Kei when it’s not.
Part of why there are people who are very intense about saying you have to be “fucked up enough” to be Jirai Kei is because they’re radically pushing back against people who come into Jirai Kei spaces and then complain about the toxicity or try to sanitize the subculture. In my opinion they do end up friendly-firing T_T
A lot of people don’t want post about their struggles online. Someone’s account could be super happy sunshine and sparkles and bows and positivity all the time, but they could still very well be struggling behind all of that. I think some people are so tired of problematic fashion Jirais that they end up saying people who don’t post about their struggles openly can’t be Jirai Kei. I disagree with that? You don’t owe people your history or struggles. You don’t have to publicly talk about your history or struggles to be a part of the subculture. It’s a bit strange to pressure people to talk about these things in order to be accepted in the community, even though I understand where they’re coming from. I don’t personally see this a lot but I also don’t use Twitter which is where this seems to be most common.
Overall - as long as you acknowledge the origins / history, don’t try to denounce the “dark parts” of Jirai Kei, and understand that Japanese Jirais and foreign jirais have different experiences you’re generally good as far as I can tell.
Idk if that all made sense - I’m crazy sleep deprived from work - but hopefully that makes sense / answers your question? But again I’m just a stranger on the internet and I’m also not Japanese so please take all that with a grain of salt.
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