#mental health services can't help they don't even care
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himalayaan-flowers · 10 months ago
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apocalypticdemon · 6 months ago
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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks#but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand#and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot#so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck#it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits#but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen#or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing#you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks#i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please
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mcalhenwrites · 6 months ago
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I'm not going to pretend it doesn't make me angry that I spend months and years trying to peddle my work to make ends meet, that I spend so much time mentioning my books and comms and everything, and people ignore that consisently... But the moment I finally break under the hopelessness - when it's obvious that it's fucking futile, that almost no one deems my work good enough to share with anyone else - suddenly they're concerned and scolding me. I'm working several jobs, bathing, generally keeping things clean, and I do this with several health problems including chronic pain. I found out that one of my cysts is growing and I may need to have it surgically removed. Which means potentially missing work to recover. Which means more money I lose. I spend so much time crawling out of the hole and it goes ignored, but the moment I just give up bc I don't have any strength left, suddenly that's my fault and I'm mentally sick. And that kind of makes me wish my entire situation upon people, and when they whine that it's hard, well fuck you, you thought I could ace it so surely you can, babe! I hate being angry about this, but it's just so exhausting to tell people who accuse me of not trying that I HAVE I HAVE SO FUCKING HARD AND YOU DID NOT PAY ATTENTION THEN Or you know you're attempting to gaslight me by claiming I didn't try despite that I obviously have worked my ass off trying, and that's so much fucking worse
#mcalhen personal#and I'm not saying I'm not mentally ill but ffs stop using it as a weapon to discredit people when they have the solutions right there#feels like people hate my writing and me and that's why I didn't go “I got the job” bc friends who never support me would be like#“I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU CONGRATS” cool I'm not I spend an entire day usually recovering from very calm shifts at a job I like#but the moment I publish a book it's not congrats it's I don't know this guy I don't know Cal and I'm gonna pretend I never saw anything#I don't even hate my goddamn job even tho it can be stressful but it's the easiest thing for mostly just 2 days a week#but it is not sustainable and I cannot survive on this and disability would be invasive as hell and y'all don't know shit about how they#treat disabled people in this country but goddamn I have watched that shit unfold with my autistic brother who can't work#and I can never help him at this rate#bc I can't help myself#I can't help anyone#and saying that is a big fucking issue with people who think if they say 'it gets better keep going' I'll magically unfuck my life#as if I haven't spent the entirety of my life trying to unfuck things#as if I didn't give myself an education in spite of my family#y'all never been threatened with physical violence bc you weren't supposed to ask for school supplies and it fucking SHOWS#I have learned so many things on my own time out of sheer desire to better myself and my situation#but at a point where nothing works out and each day is just filled with more bad news#at what point am I actually allowed to give up?#or am I supposed to just keep this up until I die with 40 more years of collected bullshit pain#bc if you want me to live like this for 40 years then... you never cared at all#and what's so stupid is that I really want to earn my living by doing the work#I work on my art and writing but let's just admit that it's pathetic already#no mental health services or pills will erase that I'm a pathetic garbage can of uselessness#also I realize no one owes me anything like boosting my work or w/e#but also don't ask me to turn rotten ingredients into a feast and say I'm not trying when I can't fucking do it
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just-a-ghost00 · 1 month ago
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Who is your future spouse?
I'll be trying to get significant details about your spouse using 3 different decks. I'm not asking any specific question about looks or personality but rather just letting spirit guide us towards any detail they deem worthy of our attention. As this is a general reading, you may not resonate with every single detail but the general picture or overall vibe may speak to you to some level. For once, I decided to do 4 groups instead of 3.
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Group 1
"I see grace and possibility in all of life's challenges." "There's no such thing as mistakes. Everything happens in divine order. I am being guided to learn and grow." "I accept the gifts I've been given as a high service to the world."
White Numen tarot : Queen of cups, 5 of swords, The Fool, knight of pentacles, 6 of cups
I don't care oracle : Take care of yourself, Close your curtains close your eyes sleep, Got a drink? Cheers! , Box with the pillow
Starting with the image you picked, I'm getting a strong message of using music and art in general as a form of escapism but also a mean of harmless self expression. Your FS may be struggling with a sense of loneliness that they are fighting off through a strong interest in any form of artistic expression. The bunny makes me think of innocence and creativity. The fact that it's a plushy makes me think of childhood and frailty. This passion that they have is something that stems from childhood and that has allowed them to hold on through hard times. I can't help but to be reminded of Stray Kids Lee Know when I look at this image. So maybe your FS has a similar personality or background to Lee Know's. Your FS could be a Kpop enthusiast. They could be an artist or enjoy doing art as their hobby. They are a rather sensitive and soft individual. They have a very comforting presence. There's a sadness to them that feels a little bittersweet.
They've been through a lot, not only romantic wise but also just on a personal level. Despite everything they've been through, they still have a lot of faith in the Universe and in mankind. With time, they've chosen to see their struggles as opportunities for growth and to cherish every experience that they get to live, even though some of them are uncomfortable because they're aware that in everything lies a blessing in disguise. They are very spiritual and they have a strong mindset gained through years of pain and struggle. They're an old soul and chances are that they have a lot of interesting stories to tell about their past.
Speaking of the past, you may share several past lives with this person. If you don't believe in this concept, you just may feel like you've known this person before when you've just barely met because they are so genuine and empathetic that it feels like they know you at your very core. For some of you, they could be a childhood friend. This person could also work with children or just be very popular with babies and kids. Another thing I am picking up on is that though this person is very mature and has gone through a lot, they look very innocent and youthful. Many people underestimate this person's age because of how childlike they may appear physically. Like, their skin is very soft and supple, they have no grey hair nor do they have wrinkles, they may be quite petite compared to other people of their age.
They've struggled with their mental health quite a lot. They're constantly thinking and bickering with their own self. They may be neurodivergent or struggle with a form of mental disorder. Another thing is that they have a very striking effect on people because they're hard to grasp. Their personality and the way they show up is so unique that they can't be categorized, "put into a box". This person just takes pride in not fitting, not conforming to any standard or norm. They don't like to be trapped in outdated perceptions of life and society. They are very protective of their freedom of expression. So chances are they have a very particular sense of style, a very specific way of expressing themselves in public, a particular posture that makes them stand out from other people. Like for example, they're the only person in their family that doesn't conform to gender norms. Actually I feel like the notion of gender isn't relevent to this person. However, they appear as quite feminine in their energy.
One thing that is very striking about them is how detached about material life they are. They do not care about possessions, wealth. This person is very generous and humble. They could give away their own clothes on a whim just to help someone else, buy a random person a meal just for the sake of making a good deed. They do random acts of kindness, not just with people they know but with anyone they come across. They give to charities, they leave food on the street for the homeless or for stray animals,they share important information on their socials in case it may be useful to someone. They're just really selfless. The reason behind that is because this person comes from a rather "poor" background. They know what it's like to be lacking something and they believe that any good deed done will come back to them. They have this mentality of not doing to others what they wouldn't appreciate themselves. So they're definitely not the kind to look down on other people or to hate on others.
This generosity can also be shown in their emotions and how they express themselves. They do not shy away from telling people they love them. They are very demonstrative and openly communicate their feelings, even though it makes them vulnerable. They wear their heart on their sleeve. They're incapable of lying. In connections, this person pours their heart out and they give their all. They're incredibly loving, kind, compassionate and patient. They show a lot of empathy and understanding towards others but they tend to be extremely harsh on themselves.
They struggle with a lot of anger issues as well as overthinking. They tend to burn themselves out thinking and worrying about others, helping other people to the detriment of their own health. They're in desperate need of love and rest and they have a hard time slowing down to focus on themselves. This person is not used to receiving and giving themselves the love that they willingly and selflessly give to others.
They're a cat lover. They may or may not own a pet cat. They have a cat like personality. They're more of an introvert but they tend to put on an extrovert façade to please others, especially their family and friends.
This person can be quite easily sociable with people however there aren't many people that they feel close to. In social settings, they tend to stay aside and only interact with the crowd here and there, out of politeness. They may struggle with the feeling of not belonging. They may feel like they do not fit in because of their unique sense of self and their strong morals. Again, I get strong neurodivergent vibes from this person but I also get a theme of cultural differences. This person may have grown in an environment where only a specific demographic was represented and they were the only source of diversity. Now that could mean all kinds of things but to give you an example maybe they grew up in a city where most people had fair skin and they were the only child with a different skin color. Or like maybe when they were a kid they were the only boy/girl when all the other kids were of the opposite biological sex.
Speaking of cultural differences, at the beginning of your reading, I had the impression that they lived in a different country than yours and that feeling is further confirmed with the spread. They could possibly have a similar background to yours but the only difference is that they grew up in a different setting. Like for instance, imagine two people that are both of European descent but one of them grew up in Spain while the other spent on the other side of the globe for some reason. Another thing I was picking up on was two people being born from two different ethnicities. So I feel like you and your future spouse will have a lot in common in the sense that you may have been through similar hardships in your life though you come from completely different areas of the globe. You could bond over things like : being the "black sheep" of the family, being the "generational curse breaker", being the "weird child" or the "rebellious child", being bullied in school because of your looks/sexual preferences/culture/religion or any form of difference that made you stand out, feeling like you don't belong, wanting to be someone else or somewhere else, feeling like you're not from this planet, having a weird interest in astrology and space facts, believing in ghosts and/or UFOs.
Group 2
"I communicate with ease and grace. People are willing to embrace what I have to say." "I welcome healthy, loving relationships." "I celebrate my progress. Awareness, not perfection, is the goal."
White Numen tarot : The Magician, 8 of wands, Queen of cups, King of wands, Ace of cups
I don't care oracle : Sorry not sorry, Spread the love, Yes! , Smile smile more even more!, You are not your emotions
This person is very chatty and an excellent communicator. They have a very eloquent speech and a beautiful voice that may be envied by many. They enjoy singing and whistling. They can easily talk anyone through anything. They have a bit of a snake charmer vibe. They're a smooth talker and many times got out of trouble because of that. They have a fascination for birds and/or their nickname revolves around a bird. I'm thinking of Woody Woodpecker, Tweety, Daffy and Donald Duck, Zazu, Iago. Like either that or they are named after a bird or compared to a specific bird. Specifically, there are peacock feathers depicted on the relationships card from the Spirit Junkie oracle. So peacocks could be relevant to this connection somehow. Either they get compared to a peacock because they tend to show off around potential partners or because they have a really flamboyant nature and attidude. They also could be compared to parots or phoenix.
This person exudes a lot of masculine energy. They may be depicted by other people as a playboy/playgirl, as a macho if they're perceived as a man or if they're perceived as a woman their feminism may not be well perceived by their peers. I feel like they get a lot of backlash from others and get wrongly accused of being so many things because of how unapologetically themselves they are. This person has a lot of self confidence and they have strong values. They draw a lot of attention but also a lot of envy and jealousy. They may be in the public eye.
They are extremely harsh with themselves and have perfectionist tendencies. They're a workaholic. They're extremely prideful and take a lot of pride in their accomplishments, especially on a professional level. They are the type to never regret a choice they make, even though people do not share their opinion on the matter because once they've set their mind on something it is very hard for them to change their perspective. They are incredibly stubborn but also incredibly resilient.
They are very popular and sociable, however they just don't let anybody in their close circle. This person has strong boundaries and they do not hold their tongue. They've put themselves in trouble more times than they can count because of their blunt approach. People around them may say that they are haughty or that they have no respect for their elders, that they do not take criticism well or that they are full of themselves. But the truth is this person is just very protective of their own space and they were raised in a background that taught them to always speak their mind when something doesn't feel right. They cannot stand injustice and you can be sure that this person will always stand up for what is right, no matter their differences with the people involved.
They have climbed the ladders of society through their hard work. They "came from nothing" and "became somebody" because of how dedicated they were to their craft. This earned them a lot of respect but also a lot of advantages and money. This person is now wealthy and leaving very comfortably but this wasn't the case when they were a child. They became so succesful that they may now be their own boss. They earned enough money to be able to open their own business or work independantly. If this person is an artist for instance, they fund their own work with their own money. They may own their own label or they're just a solo artist because they've gained enough of an audience and enough resources to be able to do so. This is just one example among many. They could be working freelance on different projects or own a brand of some sort. It could be anything really. If not that, then they have a higher status within their work environment compared to when they started.
For most of you, I feel like your FS is older than you. There's a stark contrast between you not only because of your age but also because of your maturity and life experience. I feel like you would be very intimidated by this person at first but also, because of everything I mentioned before, you may start off with a bad impression of them because of how other people depict them or gossip you may have heard. You could start off as rivals or "ennemies" so to speak. Also, I get the feeling that when you first meet them, you will think that they are disinterested in you or that they don't like you.
Despite their intimidating façade, this person is actually incredibly kind and loving. They are very sweet and sensitive, but they don't show that aspect of themselves to a lot of people. They have huge trust issues and they struggle with intimacy. They are hyper independant and they tend to repress their emotions, especially their sadness, through humor. They're the type of person that will act like a clown and make jokes to distract themselves and others from the fact that they are not okay. If you talk with this person and start to get deep by bringing up intimate subjects, they are likely to swiftly change the subject or disguise the truth by joking around. They may exagerate certain traits to make themselves appear stronger or cooler and take away the vulnerable aspects of the story. Let's say this person got into a fight and was hurt in the process. Maybe the true reason why they got into this fight was because they were drunk after breaking up with their past lover and a person's attitude didn't sit right with them in that specific setting. When they tell you the story, they may omit the fact they were at their lowest and emphasize how brave they were to stand up and interfere because a person twice their size was bothering another customer. That kind of thing.
This person has a problem with expressing their feminine side and showing emotion. They do not talk about themselves much or if they do, they always make sure it isn't too personal. They tend to mask a lot of their pain, a lot of their fears. They hide behind a mask to cover up for the fact that they are in truth really sensitive and insecure about themselves. I get the message that this person struggles with their feminine side because of a masculine figure in their life. Growing up, they were taught that they shouldn't cry or let people see their "weakness". They were taught that showing affection wasn't safe. They were criticized for their soft nature and had to become tougher with time to be able to make it through. Again, I get a neurodivergent vibe from this person, which is similar to group 1. Maybe you felt drawn to that group as well.
They are very passionate and invested in whatever is going on around them. I feel like they are very active political wise and that ties down to their issues with injustice. This person either does a lot of community work or advocates for a lot of causes. They may use their influence and means of communication to raise awareness around certain subjects. I'm specifically picking up on mental health issues and struggles surrounding one's body image, speaking up against racism, bullying, sexual harassment at work. They have a lot of love to give and a sensitive side to them that they don't get to express very often but when they are in such setting that is when they can truly be themselves and wear their heart on their sleeve. You may see this person's gaze light up when they talk about subjects that interest them, things that are dear to their heart. I see this person doing a lot of random acts of kindness but on the lowkey. Things that would go unnoticed or that wouldn't seem that grand but that actually matters. Like putting flowers on someone's grave even though they didn't know them as a proof that someone cares about their passing. Leaving anonymous positive notes in books that they borrow from the library so that the next person is comforted and knows that they matter. Silently watching over children on the streets to ensure that they are safe and no one bothers them. Taking away an object that may be a source of danger for others. Giving away personal belongings by living them in random spots for other people to find them. Pretending like they're clumsy to get two people that like each other to be physically closer in the hopes that it will get things started.
I feel like this person's main love language is acts of services but sometimes they may also express their love in funny/quirky ways or unusual ways. Here are some specific things I am picking up on : making a list of all the things you like so that they know what to do when you feel down or how to surprise you on a specific event, using your go-to words or catch phrases on you to make you smile or laugh, taking interest in the things you like and trying them out to the point of being very specific about it and knowing every detail of it so you don't feel like you're alone and they can better understand you even if it makes them uncomfortable, including you in the things they do by leaving very specific tasks up to you even though they are perfectly capable of doing it on their own because they know it makes you happy, anticipating your needs in ways you wouldn't expect by keeping certain tools or products in close vicinity just in case, mimicking your stance/ your walking pace or any trait that you may be feeling insecure about so that you feel less insecure about it, making sure that you are not being left out during any social interaction and bringing the focus back to you in case you were interupted, countering your every self criticism with a reason why that exact thing is actually a good thing, expressing their opinion of you and how they feel for you in indirect ways by talking about things you remind them of (characters in movies, songs, things that are meaningful to them like a loved one for instance).
Looking at the picture you picked, I get the message that this person values beauty and the aesthetic of things and people. They give a lot of importance to appearances. They could be into home decor and interior design. They could also be into fashion. They may collect a lot of objects because of their aspect. Especially statues, paintings, traditional objects from different countries, floral ornaments. They like scented candles and incense. There is a specific flower that this person likes or they could have been named after a flower. Or they could be born on Flower Day (May 20), Rose Day (February 7), Valentine's Day (February 14), Yellow rose day (May 14 in Korea). Or overall as most flowers bloom during Spring, this season may be their favorite or may have some significance to your connection. I'm not sure what the flower on the picture is, but its shape and color reminded me of blue Hydrangeas.
Group 3
"I release my need to be right. I am defenseless and at peace." "When I lead from a place of love people respect me." " I bring peace wherever I go." White Numen Tarot : Magician, queen of wands, Judgement, Sun, 3 of swords
I don't care oracle : Close your curtains close your eyes sleep, Stop doing so much, Infinity x Infinity , I'm not okay, I am always a child
This person loves animals. They are very popular with animals. They may want to own a pet but they may be allergic to pet fur or they just don't have the opportunity to have one because of their lifestyle. They can both embody a cat like and a puppy like energy. They are very balanced and can both embody feminine and masculine energy very well because they've done a lot of shadow work.
They grew up in an abusive household and/or have dealt with a lot of abuse in their life. This lead them to becoming "mature" too soon for their age. They had to parent themselves and now as an adult they may be described as immature by others because they didn't have the opportunity to do what other children usually do growing up. They had to deal with many responsibilities very early on in their life, either because their parents didn't show up the way they should have or because they left home pretty early on for various reasons. Because of that, they have a hard time letting go of the need to control and asking for help.
One of the ways this person copes with whatever issues they have is by being active. They have a lot of various interests and they look like they never rest. This person's schedule is packed and timed perfectly. They always got something to do, someone to talk to, something to work on. They may struggle with insomnia. One of the reasons why they keep themselves so busy is to cover up for the fact that they feel lonely and scared on their own.
This person looks for meaningful and deep connections. When they feel comfortable with people, they can rant for days about the things that they like and be very quirky but if they do not have a good impression of you they'll remain as cold as an iceberg and you'll never get to see their depth. One of the ways you will be able to tell that your FS likes you is that they will act differently depending on whether they're with you or someone else. They'll do things with you that they wouldn't do with others. Show you sides of themselves that no one has seen. This person including you in their bubble will be a huge sign of their affection and trust. Especially, you meeting their family will be a huge thing because I feel like no one has gotten that opportunity before.
They are very confident in themselves, especially when it comes to their work and studies. They can ace anything you leave up to them as long as they know they've got your trust and things are explicit. However, if they feel like you're being shady or that you doubt them, this person's productivity will be affected dramatically. They struggle with impostor syndrom. They're also very quick to judge characters and they tend to have a strong intuition. So whenever this person tells you that they have a bad feeling about something, they are likely to be right.
They do not realize it bu they hold more power than they think and they are more popular than what they expect. This person is so humble that it would never cross their mind to put themselves forward and talk about their accomplishments. This is because of their upbringing. This person was lead to believe that they were not important and that no matter their achievements or efforts, they would never be enough to be taken seriously. Honestly this person has been through so much in their life that it's a miracle they still find the drive to carry on with a smile on their face. They are incredibly strong and admirable but they would never think that of themselves. They are their own worst enemy and critic. They don't like to be the center of attention but no matter what they do they just cannot escape it.
I feel like right away in your connection, you will intuitively feel very drawn to this person and very early on realize that they are your FS. Their will be something about their eyes that will immediately spark your interest. And everytime you will look into this person's eyes, you will not be able to hold their gaze because of the intensity of what you feel when looking at them. This may be something that they tease you about later on in your connection. I also pick up on a setting or an action that is unusual when you meet them. There will be something that will set you off about this person or maybe you will do something that they are not used to. And that will be the spark that ignites the whole thing. The reason I am saying that is because on the "I am always a child" card, the character depicted is walking barefoot on the street and one of their foot is in the mud. They are very neetly dressed and yet, without a care in the world, they are risking getting all dirty and being laughed at. It looks a bit out of place or out of the ordinary. Here are some things I am picking up on that maybe will speak to you : being the only person that didn't follow the dresscode at a party, walking up the stairs with a bunch of heavy grocery bags when you could have used the elevator, being the only person in the gym that sings to their workout playlist and gets hyped up while everyone else is just quietly sweating it out, being the only person that dares to talk back to the other or makes a comment about a specific touchy subject, being the only person to actually be educated about a specific topic that they're interested into while the others just have a surface level understanding of it, not showing them any sign of interest when other people are desperately trying to get their attention.
Looking at the picture you chose, this person could live by an important body of water. This could also be a sign that they are a very emotional individual. They may be into water sports like surfing, swimming, scuba diving. They could enjoy fishing. They may eat a lot of sea food. When travelling, they may prefer warm places such as islands over the country side or places like mountains. They may prefer Summer over other seasons.
Group 4
"My high vibe thoughts create health in my body, peace in my mind and love in my heart." "Let me be still today and listen to the truth in silence." "The more I honor my inner light the more I brighten the world. I choose to shine."
White Numen tarot : King of wands, 9 of wands, 7 of wands, knight of pentacles, 5 of pentacles
Sorry not sorry, Turn your tongue 7 times in your mouth before you speak, I've got super powers, Tomorrow is another day, Don't be fooled by my appearance my soul is resplendent
Based on your picture, the first thing I pick up on is that you may firstly interact with this person at a distance, either being penpals or through social media/dating apps. The picture also gives me a feeling of nostalgia. This may be someone that you reconnect with after a long time being a part. Daisies is the birth flower of people born in April. So it could be your or their birth month, or you could meet during this month. This person could be a childhood friend or your relationship could start of as friends and evolve into something more over time. I also can't help but to think of Disney's Daisy and Princess Daisy from the Mario lore. So your person gives off a very innocent vibe upon first glance but they turn out to be stronger and smarter than they appear. Though people may think of them as superficial, frail or shallow they are actually have a lot more depth and are very sensitive. This person may tend to be underestimated or overlooked, people may wrongly assume their character because of the way they look. Which feels a bit similar to group 2's person's energy so maybe you felt drawn to that group as well.
Your FS is a very spiritual person and they developped that spirituality through hardships and adversity. They possibly dealt with bullying as a child. This person was lead to believe that they didn't deserve affection, care, help. They spent most of their life being on their own and having to protect themselves because the adults around them where not creating a safe space for them. They have huge trust issues and are hyper independent. They do not know how to ask for help and do everything by themselves. They're the type of person that wants to be recognized solely for their skills and hard work. If someone were to help them or gift them something, they would think that they are not worthy of it because they haven't worked for it or earned it. Their notion of value is distorted because of the way they were raised as a child.
They are originally a very bright and cheerful person but life turned them into a bitter and cold person. Many times in their life, they were shown aspects of humanity that made them lose faith and hope. They were constantly lied to, disregarded, manipulated. People abused their kindness and generosity, treated them badly under the disguise of friendship or love. This person grew to believe that love wasn't meant for them. So when you meet them, they'll likely avoid you and run away from you at first. They'll have a hard time believing that your feelings for them are genuine and they may keep you at arms length for quite a while.
They fear intimacy. This will show in their distate for physical touch and public displays of affection. In their constant need for space and independance, for control within the relationship. Ironically, though they need a lot of space and free range of action, they will show a lot of possessiveness and jealousy especially if you are separated. This connection really gives me ennemies to lovers vibe. They will hate to love you and love to hate you. The beginning stages of your relationship may be quite rocky because of this person's fears and issues. However, because they will be very attached to you and protective over you they will understand the need for them to heal those aspects of their personality for you connection to be healthy and lasting. This is also because they have a strong sense of responsibility and want to be perceived in a good light by their loved ones.
This person is very charismatic and sensual. Chances are that a lot of eyes will be on them and a lot of people will want to pursue them, even while you are dating. They face a lot of envy and jealousy generally speaking but they will face even more adversity once they are with you. Which could interfere in your connection. There will be a lot of gossip about you, especially career wise. People in their work sphere specifically will not understand why your dynamic is working when you seem so different from one another. This will stem mostly from a lack mindset. Even their family could get involved in the drama. Since this person is very popular and likely succesful in their work, people may say things like you could be a threat to their reputation or question your motives for dating this person.
Even though their attraction for you will be very clear and obvious, this person will do everything in their power to ignore it and resist the pull to the point where it may look completely crazy to you and ridiculous. You may think "why is such a mature person acting in such a childish way, this is so unlike them". They'll make choices and actions that you will not understand and could attempt to sabotage the connection. But the more they will try to run away from you the closer they're gonna get because the Universe will not be having any of their BS and you won't either. Every time they will try to ignore or avoid you, they will be reminded of you or forced to face you in some type of way. This person could be trying to flirt with other people to forget about you, they may even straight up date another person thinking that you would disappear from their life. But the people they will interact with will be very similar to you or coincidentally they will be in your circle. If this person is working in a similar occupation, circumstances will have them working with you. They could choose to move out in a new location thinking they would avoid you but it turns out that you frequently go to that place because a family member lives nearby or your doctor's office is located in the same street. If you are a parent, maybe their kid goes to the same school as yours. And so on and so forth. Every time they turn on the radio, they'll hear songs that remind them of you. They'll see or hear your name quite often or will be confronted with something you like every day.
Specifically, I pick up that this person could be a coffee addict but maybe the way they like their coffee is very different to yours and this may be something you passionately debated on. They also have a thing for plants and flowers. They wear glasses or they have a bad eyesight. You could have "argued" about being too blunt and not knowing how to read the room. I don't know why I keep writing in past tense. Maybe for some of you that's a confirmation you already know this person. If that isn't your case, maybe this will be something that happens later on in your connection. I really get the feeling that something about this person will just get on your nerves when you first meet. Like the way they talk or how they dress. Maybe the setting in which you meet will give you a wrong impression of this person. Especially if a lot of people are badmouthing them and spreading false rumors about them.
This person is a loner. They spend most of their time alone, either at work or in their personal life. They are very guarded and introverted. They barely leave their home unless it's very important. They may have a fear of crowds and enclosed spaces. However, when they are able to trust someone they are very kind and giving, a total opposite of what people may depict them as. They have a very healing presence that stems from all the hardships they faced over time. This person uses their own experience to help people heal and expand. They could be a therapist, a reiki practitioner, someone that uses alternative medicine like herbology, crystal healing and such.
They have a lot on their plate. They struggle with mental health issues and it isn't something they openly talk about with anyone. However, if this person sees someone going through hardships, they will be the first one to reach out and provide help and support. This person believes in the law of attraction and also in fate. They know when to pay attention to the details which could also explain why they are so succesful in life but people may not see that side of them and just belive that your FS has it easy because of their wealth, their background, their looks. When in reality, this person is the most hardworking individual you'll ever know. And when you get to see that side of them, you will really admire and respect them.
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pomefioredove · 2 months ago
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for a oneshot how about vil gets sick and reader/yuu (your choice) helps take care of him? :3
o7
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ it comes with a fever
type of post: fic characters: vil additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, took a more unique approach to the sick prompt, would say ooc but this is just how having a cold sore makes you act
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"He hasn't left his room all day,"
Epel's still got that uncomfortably tight grip around your wrist. He hasn't let go since he dragged you out of Ramshackle.
"Not even Rook is allowed in. It's... damn strange," he mumbles, disturbed.
You stop in front of the Pomefiore Housewarden's door.
The boy looks at you. "I'd go in myself, but... ah, I'd figure you'd have more luck,"
Which you suppose is his way of saying "Vil PROBABLY won't kill you"
"It's got everyone spooked, Prefect. Like a herd 'a sheep without a sheepdog,"
So, it's up to you. Somehow.
Epel finally lets go of your wrist and disappears before you can ask any questions. Your newly freed hand closes around the door handle.
It's probably nothing, you tell yourself. But if Vil won't even see Rook... there's a slim chance he'll be happy to have you waltzing through the door.
You walk in, anyway.
The room isn't dark or dreary. There are no strange smells or messes. Nothing is out of place, except for the bundle of blankets on the bed and-
FWISH!
You drop to your knees just before a cushion-turned-missile can hit you.
"Get out!"
Definitely Vil. At least he's alive? "You're not supposed to take the name "throw pillow" literally!"
The familiar canto of your voice makes that bundle go quiet and still. And then, from its depths, a loud, uncharacteristic whine. "Don't look at meeeee-"
You can suddenly see why everyone in Pomefiore is "spooked".
"I'm not going to hurt you," you say, as if approaching a wild animal caught in a trap. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing!" he hisses.
"That's not very convincing,"
And, of course, he knows as much. Vil sighs, and you can see the bundle moving. He pulls out an arm and elegantly drapes it over his head. "I'm hideous,"
Did he get hit by a bus or something? You blink. "You're just sick. It's not the end of the world,"
A long, long sigh follows. The bundle moves again, and a person comes out of it- and if you weren't in his room and responding to his voice, you might not have recognized them as Vil.
He's messy. His hair is tangled and limp. His face is flushed and sweaty. He looks...
"See?" he points to his lower lip.
With the general state of him, you honestly hadn't even noticed the small bump on his lip. You blink.
"...That's what you're upset about?"
He glares. "Don't patronize me. I have a standard to uphold. I can't go out looking like this!"
"It's just a cold sore, Vil,"
"Just?" he crosses his arms. "Just, you say? You're either lucky or stupid. This isn't some common blemish I can cover up with a patch and concealer! This is a personal failure! All the supplements, all the medicated chapstick, and the vitamin C and I still-"
He shudders. "...And it comes with a fever, so if you have any sympathy to give, at least let it be for that,"
You sigh, a weary, but fond smile on your face. "Oh, Vil... let me get you some orange juice,"
He crosses his arms and almost pouts. "And the strawberries in the bottom drawer of the fridge,"
"Those, too,"
.
With your service, Vil eventually calms himself down, though he still lies in bed as if he were dying of something terrible.
By the third or fourth bad Neige Leblanche movie of the evening (making fun of them with you is good for his mental health), it's starting to get dark.
"Seven already?" you mutter, checking the time on your phone.
Vil's eyes widen, and he pretends as if he wasn't staring when you look back. "So?"
"So... I have to go," you say. "I have to make dinner. I have to-"
"You're not seriously going to leave me in this state, are you? I'm supposed to avoid stress,"
You blink. Is he really... He's guilt-tripping you?? You almost laugh- it's endearing to see him so...
...Not him.
"You want me to stay?"
"Yes," he says immediately. He clears his throat, and then: "...For my health. Go speak to Rook, get us takeout."
If you were a worse person, you might have teased him about how cute he is when he's needy... But you also know he's not going to be indisposed for long, and you'd like to survive to see next week.
You smile. "Sure. Can't say no to free food,"
"But no chocolate or nuts, and I'd like something with a lot of lysine, some order of tofu and beans. Ask Rook, he'll know what to get,"
A pause.
"...Thank you,"
He really is quite cute like this. Then again, Vil Schoenheit can pull absolutely any look off.
You head for the door, your hand closing around the cool handle once again.
"And Prefect?"
You turn. Vil hesitates, seemingly warring with himself over something. You can't say which side won, because he only sighs.
"Help yourself to whatever pajamas you'd like. And don't bother asking some dimwitted question about where you're going to sleep. You'll obviously be staying in my bed,"
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thehauntedetheral · 11 days ago
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Carlisle Cullen
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• He is the epitome of gentle love.
• Always make sure you are comfortable and healthy.
• Will cook for you different kind of cuisines or whatever you like but while keeping a healthy balanced diet in mind.
• Will always cover you with an extra layer or his jacket in winter season.
• Whenever you both have some free time on your hands you both would cuddle and Carlisle reads the books to you in his soothing voice. It's just your thing. Away from world in each other's embrace reading.
• He will give you little kisses at any small chance he gets.
• If you fell sick even though it's a small flu. He will go all doctor mode, checking up on your health.
● Whenever Carlisle looks at you he thanks god for giving him such a lovely and precious person.
• Carlisle can't remember and he don't want to remember how did he lived hundreds of years without you. Because now just the thought of you not being with him causes his cold frozen heart pain.
• Doing acts of services is his main language.
• Will comb your hair while saying how beautiful you are, cook for you, helps you or more like does all the chores after all vampire speed comes in handy.
• Will braid your hair, make braid crowns while you yap about "Do you know what happened today?"
"Tell me " Carlisle will say while braiding or playing with your hairs.
• Is a total gentleman. Since you started dating him you have never opened a door because he always open doors for you.
• Will gift you with diamonds or cars when there is a special occasion or sometimes will just gift you because being with you is a big occasion.
• Definitely has a praise kink. Will praise you and compliment you in bedroom and outside too. He loves how your cheeks heat up and a big smile lights up your face when he compliments you.
• Is definitely the most supportive man. You want to be stay at home? He will take care of you forever. You want to do job? Supports you in everyway he can.
• Makes you lunch for job while putting little love notes in it saying how much he loves you and is proud of you.
• You two always hug each other whenever you get a chance. It's your way of saying I love you or I missed you.
• You get flowers after every 2 - 3 days because this man just can't ever stop appreciating you.
• Handles jealousy maturely.
• You both lay in each other's arms and talk about everything and nothing all night till you fall asleep while Carlisle just embraces you tight and listen to your heartbeats like a lullaby.
• Is the most patient and calm man you ever met.
• whenever you are anxious or nervous or having a mental breakdown. He embraces you, rubs your shoulder, talks to you about the issue or your feelings. Makes you calm.
• You both are so perfectly synchronized with each other that the people close to you says you act like an married couple.
• Well it is soon to become reality. Because Carlisle already has a ring sitting in his pockets for days just waiting for the perfect moment to pop the question. And might I say while asking you the question this thousands of year old calm vampire who was nervous as hell while everyone was chill Because they obviously know you are gonna say yes.
• And yes the wedding gift from Carlisle will be an beautiful private island bought by him and named after you. Where you both are gonna spend a very good time.
For More Yandere Reading:
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nightlyrequiem · 4 months ago
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hi there requiem !!!
so about being Valerias wife??? can we have some hcs on how she treats us (〃´▽`)
like how clingy, jealous, etc ^_^
throw in some smut too .. if you can (・・;)
thank you in advance!!! <3<33
-🃏🌀⭐️
Hi welcome back, happy to see your emojis in my inbox <33
I would LOVE to talk about how Valeria treats her wife. I have a few different ideas that I can't pick from
Being Valeria's Wife
I have two ideas, we'll start with the fluffier, happier ones. Then delve into the darker ones. Valeria is very doting when she has the time. She's a busy woman but when she's with you? She is with you. I like to think that Valeria's love language is acts of service. You're hungry? She'll cook for you. She'll arrange the cushions on the couch and bed for you. Valeria loves doing simple things for you.
Valeria is also a very jealous woman. She has this deep, irrational fear that one of your friends will woo you somehow and you'll cheat on her. She secretly goes through your phone. Not necessarily out of a lack of trust but just to reassure herself. She's not too clingy. Valeria loves cuddling up with you but she also likes her own space. She's perfectly fine with spending long periods of time away from you. (Not too long though.)
She's obsessed. But only because it's so hard for her to actually want someone in the first place. Not because she's guarding her heart but because she feels a lack of interest in literally everyone. So when she does finally catch feelings she falls fast, and she falls hard. Valeria is here to stay. If you're of a cheerful temperament, then everything is smooth sailing.
Valeria isn't a mental health expert though. The time and area she was raised in didn't really talk about it. So she'll struggle a bit if you have a mental illness. Not understanding certain behaviors and moods means things will be tense. Valeria will argue with you and fight with you, but eventually relents and does her own research. She learns how to help you. Offering that much needed emotional support.
She spoils you too. Even if you make your own money she will insist on paying for every date. If you want to pay the bills you're going to have to be good at arguing because she wants to pay those too.
Valeria isn't so good to you during serious arguments though. She's quick to anger and even quicker to use things against you. Then she'll give you the cold shoulder for a while. She's not great at apologizing either. In fact, she just doesn't. One day you'll wake up to her making you coffee in the kitchen acting like nothing happened. asking for an apology will just spark another argument.
That woman is also very horny. She's very attentive to you in bed. She likes being rough and borderline violent but if you don't like that she will be more gentle. That being said, she loves eating you out. In the shower, on the counter, in bed, in the car. Doesn't matter. She'll take any chance she can to use her mouth on you. She's not good at after care at first. You had to tell her that it doesn't feel good to be used and then left alone while she goes eats or something.
Now onto the darker stuff. Valeria loves you in her own way but she's dismissive and kind of mean sometimes. During fights she'll belittle, and name call you. She's jealous and a little insecure. It's not that she's not aware of her bad behavior, because she is. She always tells you and herself that she's going to change but she never does. She worries you'll eventually leave her.
She doesn't like your friends either. If you dare, try and hangout with them, she'll give you the cold shoulder. To her it feels like you prefer them over her and she's not about to beg for your attention. On the contrary, you have to beg for hers. She won't talk to you until you're in tears begging her to stop ignoring you, and even then, she's still a little icy for a few days.
She'll regularly go through your phone and delete pictures of you and your friends without telling you. She's dismissive and uncaring when you bring it up. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it somewhere, but Valeria really struggled with empathy. She knows it hurts you and she'd prefer if it didn't, but she doesn't feel all that bad. The guilt she feels is too distant for her to do anything with.
She still loves you though, it's just not in a conventional way and if she maybe went to therapy, she could love you in a healthier way.
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hillbillyoracle · 1 year ago
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So you can't get out of bed...
This is a resource list for all those who are having trouble getting out of bed. Whether that's because of injury, disability, or mental health, this collection of resources should help address some of the common pain points I've experienced over the years. Some will require modification if truly bedbound but my hope is this sparks ideas and gives you a place to start.
A warning: this is a *long* post. I went for thoroughness over brevity so people had options where possible.
Food
This video from Sarah McGlory of Adaptive Cleaning details her system.
It is excellent. I have a similar bin to her first in my room for high pain and low mood days. Prioritize high fiber and high protein shelf stable foods. Make sure electrolytes and water are within easy reach.
If grocery trips are too much, it's worth looking into pick up or delivery. In my experience, the delivery services through stores are better than Instacart and the like. The retailer who must not be named also has a great snack selections that hold up pretty well in transit.
Fruit + veggie pouches, baked chips, and RXBars are some of my favorites to keep on hand.
Clean Space
This video from KC Davis of Struggle Care details her "Five Things Tidying Method".
If you can't tidy your whole space, focus on the walkways. Make sure you have a walkway to your bedroom door, to your front door (or other way to leave your house), to the bathroom, and to the kitchen or where you store food.
Another tip from KC Davis - if you're struggling to get your plates back to the kitchen before they stick or attract bugs, get gallon sized plastic bags and seal the plates inside of them. You can always wash and reuse them once you've delivered it safely to your sink or dishwasher. When you're just surviving, it's just as okay to toss them after.
Bonus: This no-mess method of decluttering from Dana K. White is low energy friendly. You can stop whenever and your space is still better.
Hygiene
This post details my care kit that I use.
If you're unable to shower regularly, I'd add in some baby wipes. Yours probably won't look exactly like mine but I hope it can be a jumping off point. If I could only pick two items, it'd be the disposable toothbrushes and a good facial lotion (since it can also be used on the body). If you can't bare to change your clothes, just change your underwear. This helps prevent health issues down the road.
Movement
Arm Workout in Bed: [3 Min] [5 Min] [10 min]
Core Workout in Bed: [3 Min] [5 Min] [10 Min]
Leg Workout in Bed: [3 Min] [5 Min] [10 Min]
Yoga in Bed: [Morning] [Anytime] [Evening]
Stretching: [5 Min] [10 Min]
If you're able to stand + move but not up for leaving your room, then Rick Bhullar's walking workouts are great in a small space.
For a long time, I thought that you could only get exercise by getting dressed in specific clothes and going outside or to a gym. Now I know that there are lots of options for getting a little movement in bed. Even a short 3 min workout a day can help decrease muscle atrophy. Don't let perfect be the enemy of good enough.
Bonus: I also just walk laps around my room/apartment. You don't have to go outside. It can get a little boring sure. But quick 5-10 min walking breaks through out the day add up.
Spirituality
This is ultimately going to be specific to you and your tradition. Even if you are not religious at all taking a moment to think about your bigger picture values is important. Since my core spiritual path is Buddhism, here are some recommendations in that vein. I could not find good links for all of these. I don't necessarily do all of these everyday but I try to do a few.
Three Refuges by Plum Village
The Five Precepts by Access to Insight
The Five Remembrances on Wikipedia
Chanting Om Mani Padme Hum
Chanting Namo'valokiteshvara
Reciting the Heart Sutra
Bonus: A pagan practice I enjoy is reciting the hymns to the planet of the day. Offering water and incense is great but optional. Praying to and thanking ancestors and land spirits is also a great practice.
Alternatives to Social Media
It's easy to get stuck in the black hole of scrolling. It's good to have something enjoyable to pivot to.
Cozy Games
My favorites are Stardew Valley, Wingspan, and Animal Crossing. The first two aren't terribly expensive. A lower cost alternative to Animal Crossing would be Cozy Grove which regularly goes on sale. Sims can be cozy as well - minus any pool shenanigans.
Slowly
This is an app that allows you to send messages but delivers them on a delay based on how far away you are from someone. It makes it fairly easy to find penpals though, as with anything, it can be hit or miss. I've even convinced a few of my irl friends to try it and write them little letters on there. The delay makes receiving them more special. It's a great way to play letter writing rpgs with friends. I'm currently using it to play Grandpa's Farm with my partner.
750 Words
Ever wished you could do morning pages digitally? That's what 750 words started out as being but you can ultimately use it however you want. Some people use it to hit word counts on their writing projects. I'm a fan of using it to brain dump and then micro journal. It does cost a small fee after 30 days but it's by far been worth it to me.
FeederWatch
Getting outside - even if it's just for 5 minutes - once a day is a great goal. But if you can't, take a break and watch one of these feeder streams for a while. Even just seeing images of the outdoors, is calming. I sometime throw this up on one screen while I'm playing a cozy game or doing some non-screen activities.
Screen Breaks
We all know it's important to take screen breaks - but it's extra important to do it when you're in bed and you're screens are a big part of how you spend your day. Below are some of my favorite ways to take a break. 10 minutes every two hours or 20 minutes every three hours can make a big difference.
Postcrossing or writing letters to friends
Solo RPGs - here are some of mine, here's a D&D example
Free adult coloring pages
Read a Book - reading challenge, get personalized recommendations
Play a solitaire card game - there are so damn many now
Walk around for 5-10 minutes, bonus if it's outside.
Volunteer
One of the big feelings that come up for me when I'm mostly in bed is that I feel like a burden to others. Rather than trying to "be productive" I've found it's much better to try to positively contribute to others even if it's in small ways - sending a text to someone remembering/thanking them for something kind they did for me, ordering a little present for someone I know who's had a rough time, sending a card to someone who has a birthday coming up. The little stuff really helps people.
If you don't have many people in your life like that to help or you'd like to help some strangers too here are some other options.
Sigma Phi Eta
This is a 100% online and free greek service org I'm trying to get off the ground. 3 hours of service to become a pledge which count towards the 10 needed to become a member. 10 hours each year to stay active. We maintain an updated list of online/distanced volunteer opportunities as we find them. We have service awards for those who want to go above and beyond. Plus once you're a member you can wear our letters.
We're small right now but if you want a group of people to talk service and grow with - come join us!
Letters Against Isolation
LAI is probably my favorite charity I volunteer for. Volunteers write cards and letters to people in nursing homes, assisted living, and those connected to senior centers through Meals on Wheels and other programs. They're always adding new facilities so the need is always growing. They have facilities in multiple countries they write to and could use people who speak another language especially.
Warm Up America
Mostly for crocheters and knitters - this org accepts donations of all kinds of patterns and distributes them to smaller projects and charities who otherwise wouldn't be able to access these kind of goods at scale. I've made a few things for them - simple hats - and greatly enjoyed the process. Great use for your cheaper acrylic yarns.
7 Cups
I've had a mixed experience with 7 Cups. I really have enjoyed my experiences chatting with people on there but it can be really hit or miss as to whether I feel like I've helped people. There's also the usual people who try to use any chat service for sex. That aside, I still think their training is pretty good and it can feel meaningful when you're able to connect with someone who's not doing so hot.
Checklist
Have you cleaned yourself + changed clothes? [ ]
Have you tended to your spirituality? [ ]
Have you fed yourself? [ ] [ ] [ ]
Have you tended to your space? [ ]
Have you gotten some movement in? [ ]
Have you taken a social media break? [ ] [ ] [ ]
Have you taken a screen break? [ ] [ ] [ ]
Have you volunteered or done something nice for another person? [ ]
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ana-bananya · 1 month ago
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Support Hope and Haven for Refugees
With the international community turning their backs on Sudan, the responsibility of caring for refugees and IDPs has fallen to community based initiatives. One such group is Hope and Haven for Refugees (formerly Saving AlGeneina).
They have been working tirelessly to support displaced families across Chad and Sudan. Their programs help provide safe shelter, community kitchens, educational opportunities, and life saving medical care at their clinics.
Operating expenses for these programs are costly, especially for the clinics and kitchens. At Hope and Haven's medical field clinic, they treat at least 50 patients a day. They also offer mental health services at their trauma center, where they support children and vicitms of gender based violence. Across Hope and Haven's 4 community kitchens, they feed 1,000 children daily. To feed them, it costs $12,000 a month.
This work cannot be sustained without the help of donors like you. Maybe you don't think your money has much of an impact, but even the smallest amount helps. Just $12 is enough to keep one child fed for an entire month. And even if you can't do $12, your donation will stack with the contributions of others to have a bigger impact.
In Hope and Haven's linktree, you will find their donation links. You can donate through chuffed, gofundme, paypal, or a bank transfer. All the links are right there for you to choose your preferred method. You can also find the links to Hope and Haven's social media accounts, where you can follow them to see the impact of your contributions.
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neptunes-sol-angel · 6 months ago
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This!
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It's irritating seeing this trend with readers building their platforms by doing love readings, gaining followers for it, profiting off off of it, and then suddenly pulling the rug from their feet to instruct people (not guide!) that they're "lacking" in something but not even giving them closure on what, how, or where to start. Whether you actually care or you just want to find a reason to shit on other readers, people have the absolute wrong idea over and over again about what readings are meant to be.
It is a luxury. Not and should not ever be advertised as a need. If people need help through these services, then they have to want it for themselves instead of you trying to instill in them that they need to be reliant on occultic practices to make good decisions in their lives. That is a dangerous way to make someone codependent on readings because constantly trying to look for things to fix in your life in the name of "self improvement" is equally harmful as what an obsession with future spouse or other love readings will do to you. There is not a single topic that is superior or inferior to another when it comes to divination because they all have the potential to trigger someone into spiritual psychosis and I really need people to understand this.
You want readings to be about counseling others? Go towards other closed divination practices that are solely designed for giving spiritual insight OR just simply keep posting the topics that you want, in your own way and call it a day instead of worrying about what the next person is doing. Why does it always have to be a dick measuring contest in these communities when really we should be supporting each other? Not everyone is equipped to channel self-help readings and it's perfectly fine to just be a reader that caters to love topics or anything else that is unique.
It's like saying "Books are for learning. You should only read educational topics because I think you're not doing enough for your intellectual responsibilities". You'd be mad as hell if someone told you that you needed to put down that science fiction book because they feel like you need to learn more about neuroscience.
I'm a reader, and I personally take the breaks that I do here for my mental health because indulging in spiritual practices with no boundaries will drive you into insanity. Respectfully, if I just finished having a mental breakdown over recollecting the various cases of childhood trauma that I've experienced...I do not want to log on here and read pick a cards about shadow work. I wouldn't even want to touch my cards or speak to my spirit guides for the next couple of days.
Any other time, I LIVE for a good reading no matter the topic. Future spouse readings are not my favorite but I don't hate them. Sometimes I'll be drawn to just one specific topic depending on the day because that's life. One day I want to know more about my love life in the present, the next day maybe my love life in the future, some days I do want to read more into the shadow work that I need to do, next week I could really want to read pick a cards with messy topics or themes that are meant to boost your confidence, and when I'm in that mood, I might just only want to read 18+ themed pick a card readings 💀
The point is that I don't think people understand how precious this platform actually is. A lot of the material here, you can't really get in any of the other divination communities. People are talented here and should stick with what they feel that they should make and it's pointless to try to get them to do it any other way because IT'S SO DIVERSE here, just simply find another reader who makes the messages that you need at the moment. It's not that hard or rare to find that people are making it ought to be.
And just focus on what you can do as a reader. Are you being true to your practices and beliefs? Are you creating a space that's healthy for readers up here? If not, then think and respond accordingly to what you feel like you should do. If you're concerned about the consumption of love readings, don't be quick to point fingers at other people, especially if you know you're part of the problem. People learn on their own timing and through their own choices and you can't control that. What you can control is the content that you choose to distribute to others.
Do topics that match with your truth. Love readings are not your thing or not what you believe in? Don't make them. Are you tired? Don't feel pressured to post. You feel concerned with how your audience is consuming your content? Post less. Etc.
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ddollfface · 11 months ago
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Hi, can you please do headcanons for kaiou retsu? If you want to...
𝐀 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐢𝐚
𝙆𝙖𝙞𝙤𝙝 𝙍𝙚𝙩𝙨𝙪 𝙔𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨
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Warnings; bad writing, really ooc, not proofread stalking, me rambling, manipulation, pretty short, I'm 90% sure that this isn't really yandere, but whatever. If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ Pssh, what kind of question is that? Of course, I want to write for Retsu! I'm just really happy that someone requested something from baki... Anyway, I hope you enjoy! If you have any questions/suggestions, then feel free to ask!!
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I find Retsu to be a very, very intriguing character, seeing as he's had so much development throughout the series. Not only that but when you look just at his past, you'll find that he's adapted and changed so much from his younger years. Restu has multiple different layers to his character, as most Baki men do, but I find that there are a lot of contradictions in his personality, which I'll get into why I think that is. But let's start from what we know because we have to establish what kind of man Restu is before we decide what kind of yandere he is (I also just like to talk lol).
We don't know too much about Restu's past, but we do know that he grew up in the temple, with no mention of any parents. I like to think that his mama (or both parents) just left him at the temple for whatever reason, the possibilities are truly endless. It doesn't matter too much, as Retsu's never shown to care too much for discussing his unknown parents, seeing as he holds his sensei/s in high regard.
I like to think that Retsu considers the martial arts his family; what comforts him when he's distraught or doesn't know what to do. Not having a family, someone to rely on, can cause a person's mental health to be warped. And that's why we always substitute it for something else, whether it be a father/mother figure, a sport, a job, or a lover. Whatever it is, we use it as a substitution for the emotional stability parents are supposed to give us (not saying that they always do).
And this is why I hypothesize that the martial arts is Retsu's substitution. He was conditioned to rely on it, to think of it as a way of life. Therefore, he doesn't rely on other people for emotional support, instead, turning to martial arts to lead the way, y'know?
Martial arts have consumed his life, taking control of his mind, and everyday activities. There's never a moment in the day where he isn't either actively practicing or thinking of it. There's nothing else he can think about, seeing as he was raised to; it's ingrained in his psyche.
This leads to a dead social life. Unless they're fellow fighters or some type of service worker, Retsu doesn't go out often and doesn't enjoy the company of others. This is partially because I think he's more of an introvert or never at places where he can make many friends. Don't get me wrong, he has allies, (After all, we can't forget when Shibukawa punched Musashi for Retsu), but do they do "friend things," y'know? I don't think they just hang out together or things of that nature.
And don't even get me started on Retsu with women, god. You can't convince me that he'd be a flustered mess if a woman ever took interest in him. It's not like he's some shy babygirl-type character, hell no, he's a badass, but he doesn't interact with women, growing up in a temple surely didn't help.
There likely weren't any women at the temple, unless they were there to clean or something (don't @ me, I have no clue), meaning there's no experience there. He's a fighter. Let's be honest, not many women are actively interacting with the fighters. Sure, they'll attend the fights and crap, but I don't think that it's often the fighters are being approached unless they're in a club or bar. Which I don't think Retsu is doing.
Now going back to the original point, Retsu is unbearable with women (if they're flirting). I don't think Retsu can't speak to them. He just can't flirt. He doesn't know how to handle romantic interest from a woman. If you were to hold his hand, kiss his cheek, or touch him in any way. His face would flush, and his eyes would widen. If you were to compliment him, I'd imagine him bowing or trying to maintain respect for you.
I can't really imagine too many ways you'd meet Restu, but it'd probably be with him swooping into your rescue (figuratively or literally). It could be that you were getting harassed, and he escorted you out of the situation, or you could've been struggling with picking something up (like groceries, a box, or something similar). I can even see that you're his new neighbor, and you bring him some food to introduce yourself (I like this idea the most, so we're going to roll with this one).
Assuming you meet Retsu through being his neighbor, you'll be able to grow a more organic relationship, seeing as you two see each other every day. I like to imagine that you'd bring him some sweets or something to introduce yourself, and Retsu will quickly rebut it by inviting you over for dinner, as a way to show his gratitude for the gift.
From there, you're relationship will subtly grow more and more, advancing from neighbors to close friends. You'll begin to notice that you're feeling eyes on you like someone is watching you. It's as if Retsu's always there now, somehow knowing where you are. He'll begin to show up at your local grocery store, but you'll brush it off. After all, you're neighbors, of course, you'll both attend the same stores! But then you'll see him at your work, subtly passing by right as your shift ends, stopping you to chat and walk you home. It's a little odd, you think, but Retsu's so considerate! He just wants to ensure your safety! There's nothing to worry about.
I think that Retsu will quickly realize that he's growing an attachment to you, as I think that he's the most emotionally aware man in the series. He knows that he became a little too attached, a little too paranoid over your being. But Retsu would rationalize it by telling himself that he's taking care of you, watching out for you, you, you.
He'll always be there for you. Whatever you need is did and done. You need someone to walk you home 'cause you're too scared to go alone, don't worry Retsu can do that for you, no problem. You're sick and need someone to take care of you? Pssh, not even a question. Retsu doesn't mind; he'll even bring over some herbal tea from his motherland. Oh, and don't even think about opening a door for yourself, nope. Don't worry, Retsu's there. He's such a gentleman, always there for you, conveniently knowing where you are at all times.
You have to understand that there are a lot of people who are out for Retsu, and by proxy, you. Retsu has to make sure you're safe and sound. No one can lay a finger on you, so just stay where he can see you, yeah? He'd never do anything to hurt you. He's always had your best interest in mind, making sure you're well-fed, properly clean, and having the attention you need, so just trust him, okay?
Don't mind him cutting all of your friends out of your life. They were just too toxic, leaving you out of everything, talking behind your back, so you should just let them go. And for your family? Well, they've been manipulating you into thinking that they want what's good for you, but you just don't realize how harmful they've been to you, don't you? It's okay, Retsu will help you. He can see how horrible they are.
Little do you know, this whole time Retsu has been threatening, cutting off, and hoarding you all for himself. He can't trust anyone with your safety. For all he knows, they could harm you, could take you away from him. He can't let them do that; he cares for you too much. You understand, surely, he's just looking out for you, so just turn the other way and do as he says.
Don't worry, he's going to handle everything.
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bonny-kookoo · 1 year ago
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Jungkook
𝓣𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓮. [Closed Doors]
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Jungkook makes decisions every day- but none has ever felt as hard to make as the decision whether or not to keep or leave you.
Tags/Warnings: Hospital/Medical AU, Doctor!Jungkook, slightly aged up!Jungkook, Hybrid!Reader, Dog Hybrid!Reader, another slightly heavy one but the comfort is strong with this hurt, angst, fluff, romance, strangers to lovers, blood, medical stuff, mentions of domestic (physical and mental) abuse, corruption, mentions of drug abuse, health scare²
Length: 2.3k Words, it's very tiny I'm very sorry
-> Masterlist
There is no taglist for this fic.
A/N: hi sorry I just really like this fic pls eat your vegetables
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"The little guy is recovering good." Namjoon nods. "But we'll have to inform child protective services, no matter if it was an accident or not.." He sighs, as Jungkook nods.
"I'm pretty sure it'll go well if it really was just that." He says. "I can't believe people just leave this stuff around when they know children eat any candy they see the moment they get the chance to." He shakes his head a bit angrily. "If that boy was a hybrid he'd be dead."
"Luckily he's not. I'll send the boy over to pediatrics, and as soon as that happens, he's out of our hands." Namjoon reminds his friend and coworker, as they both silently agree, walking through the hall. "How's your puppy doing?"
"Awake, and she's been transferred out of the ICU this morning, so I'm gonna check on her now and see how she's doing." Jungkook sighs, running a hand through his hair.
"Have you decided if you want to take her in yet?" Namjoon wonders, greeting a fellow doctor who's passing by.
"No." Jungkook shakes his head. "Not.. yet."
It's a touchy subject for now- so Namjoon leaves it alone- letting the doctor enter your new room on his own, to check up on you.
It's quiet inside, no nurse yet present- and Jungkook is actually a little thankful for the short, quiet moment he's got. Standing close to you, he lets his hand run over one of your soft ears- now cleaned and fur soft and vibrant in color. It's something Jimin had informed him about yesterday- how you cried from happiness after he'd helped you properly clean your ears and tail, something that appeared to be very much unfamiliar and new to you.
It angers him, to know that you were nothing but something to show off until now.
So many of your health problems could've been avoided if you just had received any amount of proper care and attention. Yoongi already suspects that you might have developed some behavioral issues from the way you've been living until now- all that, combined with your physical troubles will take weeks if not months to resolve. If they ever resolve fully at all, that is.
Not that Jungkook really cares. He'd take you in even if you were to bite and scratch.
But it's not that easy, and he knows this. "Hello?" He carefully says as his hand shakes your shoulder gently. "Can you wake up for me for a moment?" He requests, and your eyes slowly open, squinting at the bright hospital lights, before you stretch- and hiss at something cramping. "Good morning." He greets you- and suddenly you seem to realize who's there- and your tail begins to wag under the blanket, ears turned towards him as you smile. "How do you feel, hm?" He wonders, but you don't answer.
It's to be expected. All of these traumatic events must've taken a toll on you- not just physically.
"Well you're looking a lot better already, that's for sure." Jungkook tells mostly himself, though he smiles when he spots you taking the praise for yourself as well. It gives him a moment just to quietly look at you; imagine what life could be like if someone like you was to wait for him inside his apartment, every day whenever he'd come home from work.
Surely, you'd turn his apartment into a home in no time. The thought of just a little more chaos inside his living space, a little more of a mess here and there, a bit of disorder in his life, might just be what could color his life a little more vibrantly. Make things more exciting, more emotionally valuable- maybe it could even make his life less about work, and more about..
well, living.
You're yawning, and he laughs, train of thought broken as he pets your head teasingly, before the door opens, and a very chipper Jimin walks in. "Ah, there's my favorite person!" He sings almost, walking in to put the small tray of food down, before he looks at Jungkook. "And you too, Doctor Jeon."
"Well thank you." Jungkook jokes, before he watches as Jimin opens the tray, revealing some light soup and rice for you to eat. It's only a small portion- just to slowly ease you back into eating, and not overwhelm you again. He notices how attached you seem to what he recognizes is an empty pillowcase of all things you seem to cling to, probably for comfort, taken from your first room you occupied. It's another problem- you now have no one to bring you any clothes or comforting items into hospital at all.
You're alone, all by yourself.
And for some reason, the realization of that small fact hits him hard.
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It's been not even a full 24 hours, and you're already causing mischief.
"There you are!" Jungkook sighs, relieved to have finally found you near a vending machine two floors away from where you should be- which is in your room, in your bed. You, meanwhile, are just simply smiling at him, tail wagging at the sight of him crouching down to you to pet your head. "Come on now, you gave the poor nurses a near heart-attack by vanishing like that." He gently scolds, before he stands back up to his full height, reaching for your hand.
But you just let yourself fall to your side, stubborn. Tail still wagging, smacking onto the smooth floor.
"Got yourself a troublemaker, huh doctor Jeon?" An older nurse laughs, watching the interaction between the hybrid specialist and you while she prepares a cart with food trays for the patients. The news of Jungkook's interest in maybe adopting you permanently has made it's round quite quickly by now- mostly thanks to Jimin, who's the unofficial news reporter of every bit of gossip there is.
Jungkook sighs. "Seems like it." He chuckles, unable to really be upset with you, considering how glad he is to see you up and running again instead of pale and fighting in the ER. It's as if you finally realized that in here, no one actually wants to hurt you. No one blames you. No one is mad at you. You're actually being cared for here- you can truly be yourself, and no one's gonna get upset over it.
And slowly, Jungkook starts to see your true personality- which does help in his decision whether or not you'll fit into his life, or not. He's not made one yet- the papers are still at home, on his desk in his office, unsigned.
It's a tough decision to make, after all.
On one hand, sure; he really likes you, you seem absolutely sweet and also independent enough to stay at home by yourself if he goes by all of your documents, which included general assessment of your overall intelligence and social capabilities. You're a bit of an odd case- while your instincts are very strong, your hybrid features very well developed, and your overall behavior shows habits and reactions similar to a hybrid much higher on the scale, you do know how to properly process situations in a more human way.
For example; Loud noises startle you, but they don't make you panic. Food and snacks make you excited, but they're useless as bribery if you don't want to do something. You can read, write, and are educated to a very good degree, and you understand social cues without any issues.
But on the other hand, Jungkook isn't a man with endless patience. He gets frustrated easily, especially with himself- so what if he snaps at you on accident? Will you understand that he doesn't mean it badly, and that it's not even directed at you? And what about when he has to work- will you be lonely in his home, unhappy but too nice to actually tell him? He doesn't want you to just waste away while he's too focused on his career. It's something important for him, after all- he can't just quit and call it a day.
Even if you were to say that you don't need the attention, or the affection, or constant care or anything at all- he'd still feel bad for not providing it anyways. Because you deserve it. You deserve someone who can love you each day properly, someone who doesn't have to push you to the back every time his job has to take priority.
He's not sure what decision to make.
Or if there's even a choice at all.
Suddenly, you're pulling on his shirt to get back his attention- probably because he started to look mad while thinking. He knows he does this- it's why he usually turns away from patients whenever he has to think about something, which makes his face look upset. "I'm not mad." He reassures you, smiling again, petting your ears again while you watch him with suspicion. You're currently in a different headspace, regressing after all the stress and honestly rather traumatic events, which makes communication a little difficult- but everyone manages, since you're quite expressive in other ways, able to tell what you want and think either way.
Jungkook wants to take care of you- he wants to take you home, and make sure you're happy forever, but he can't be selfish, or too fast with his decision.
"Now come on, it's lunch soon. You hungry?" He asks, and you nod, tail wagging as you stand up alongside him, hand holding onto his shirt as you walk next to him-
and this time, he decides to cave in a little, as he instead holds your hand in his while walking back to your room with you.
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Jungkook likes to play music in his apartment, even if it's just quiet.
It fills the space with noise, makes him feel less lonely, takes his mind off of things. It helps relax. But tonight, it doesn't really work, as he sits in his office, sighing as he looks at the unsigned paperwork still on his desk in front of him. He's read through all the documents more than twice now, knows what's written down, what information it all gives out to him- and yet, he's unsure what to do with it.
If he signs it, you'll be given to him for a foster time first- three weeks of 'trying it out' so to speak, to see if you're a good fit for him, and if he's a good fit for you. During that time, a careworker will visit randomly to check up once or twice, and at the end of it, it's you both who have to agree to an actual permanent registration. But Jungkook worries, he always does.
The thing he worries most about, is the fact that he feels like he's already in too deep. There's a small, pink and white plush toy in his lap after all, bought yesterday straight after work from a store specializing in hybrid clothing and other items. It's a comfort plush that holds scents very well, so he keeps it close to his body ever since buying it to offer it to you tomorrow morning when he's back in hospital to check up on you.
And yes, he has been browsing what a dog hybrid of your specific breed might need to live a happy life. He might also have looked up options for sports or other activities you might want to do-
he's really in deep, isn't he?
He sighs yet again, scratching his head in frustration after he puts down the pen, staring at the 'signature here' spot at the bottom. It could all be so easy, but he really doesn't want to fuck this all up.
He knows from Taehyung, an anesthesiologist and good friend, that having a hybrid can actually work out perfectly. He's balancing it just fine, his own hybrid at home happy and healthy, his work never suffering, his happiness thriving. The young medical worker always shows off pictures of him and his hybrid, proudly, and he really has every reason to be, considering where she came from.
But Jungkook also knows how tough it can be.
He's reminded of it every time he checks up on Yoongi and his cat hybrid- now awake, but clearly in distress over her lack of control over her own body, and it's going to be a long road to recovery for her and Yoongi just as much. He knows they'll get through it- but the amount of heartbreak and absolute terror that went down just scared Jungkook, straight up.
And he knows, your future together is absolutely going to be both of those scenarios- good, and bad.
"What's the worst that can happen.." He hums to himself, one hand playing with the fuzz of the comfort plush in his lap, little black eyes staring blankly at him, tiny mouth curved into a forever smile.
You deserve a happy future. You deserve to have opportunities, and care, and affection, and a stable environment you can rely on, and thrive in. And he won't ever really gain the knowledge of that happening if he's not the one providing that for you.
And yet, the doubts are still there, clouding his mind.
What's he going to do?
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fairycosmos · 30 days ago
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hey I hope this doesn't trigger or upset you but if you have the bandwidth to answer this, do you have any tips how to snap out of a deep depression spiral/suicidal ideation moment? It's been this bad before but that was years ago and I really don't want to do anything at the moment, can't even find joy in listening to music or anything like that and I have things to do but I can't find the energy to care 😭 I am constantly depressed but right now I could literally cry over anything and I'm so lonely it's physically painful. do you have any like snap yourself out of it tricks?
hey, i’m really sorry you’re feeling like this right now. it sounds so heavy, and i want you to know you don’t have to carry all of it alone. tbh when you’re in this deep, it’s not about “snapping out of it.” i think the more the pressure yourself to feel normal again the worse it'll seem in comparison. in my experience it’s about finding the tiniest, most manageable ways to soften the weight, even just for a moment. you don’t have to fix everything or feel better all at once. just getting through right now is enough, and i hope you can remind yourself of that when it feels impossible.
when everything feels too big, start with something so small it almost feels silly. drinking a glass of water or splashing your face with cold water can help. sometimes holding something cold or textured in your hands can ground you, just giving your brain like a tiny sensory shift. if moving feels like too much, even lying down with your feet flat on the floor or wrapped in a blanket can offer a small sense of safety. if there’s one small task you can focus on—like brushing your teet or t opening a window for some fresh air then imo it’s okay to count that as a win. these little things might not feel meaningful in the moment and they definitely don't feel like a solution to a massive mental health crsis or issue, but they can create just enough space for you to keep going. for me getting out of my mind and into my body is really important for this. and it's not always easy like sometimes i feel incredibly locked into my brain but literally forcing myself to do a grounding technique sometimes does help. i hate it in the moment and feel like shit the whole time but it is better than nothing and it can have a lasting positive impact.
you’ve done something really significant by reaching out here, and if you can, i'd urge you to try to take another small step by telling someone in your life how you’re feeling. you don’t need to explain everything. just saying something like, “i’m having a really hard time right now and i don’t want to be alone,” or something along those lines can help. if that feels too hard, you can text or message someone instead, even if it’s a short note. and if reaching out to someone feels too far away right now, there are crisis lines and text services where you can talk without judgment—just someone to be there with you in this moment. you deserve to feel less alone in this, even if it’s just one tiny connection at a time. keep taking it moment by moment; that’s all you need to do right now.
i know how incredibly hard it is to even think about moving through something this overwhelming. it takes so much strength just to sit with feelings like these, and i hope you can give yourself credit for holding on. sending so much love your way. ❤️
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Danganronpa Love Languages (DR V3)
[ DR THH | SDR2 | DR V3 ]
Kaede Akamatsu - Words of Affirmation
Being a living personification of optimism, Kaede is always there to reassure you and cheer you up. Even at your darkest moments she will be there to pull you out and into the light. If you don't want help and just want support, she won't hesitate to just hold you and listen. She cares about your mental health a lot, especially since she knows how it feels. When Kaede is trying to boost your mood, she is commonly complimenting you. Sometimes it can get off track and she'll derail into making comments about your body (especially if you got big boobs or ass. Shuichi said it best, she can sound like a pervy old man sometimes). But hey, it boosts your confidence! And that's what she wants more than anything
Shuichi Saihara - Quality Time
Shuichi wasn't one with high self-esteem or confidence, so when you asked him out it took him a day to fully process it. Sure he's been crushing on you for a long time, but what if he can't be a good boyfriend? At the start of your relationship he will definitely be a bit awkward and nervous. The longer you guys are together though, he will gain confidence in both himself and your relationship. He will still be very subdued and bashful, but isn't afraid to show affection in public. In fact, Shuichi loves to stay by your side throughout the day. It will be every other day, as some days he needs alone time to recharge and relax, and you're happy to oblige! When he does feel the desire for companionship he will openly seek you out and ask if you could spend the day together
Angie Yonaga - Gift Giving
Atua will always be number one in her heart, but you are a close second! She talks so positively about you to anyone she can. She's got nothing to hide. Being the Ultimate Artist, Angie's specialty is making gifts and art for you. Paintings, statues, wood carvings, it's all for you. To add her own little spice, she likes to bless every creation with the protection of Atua. It's up to debate whether this counts as a gift or not, but every day she prays to Atua to look upon you and keep you safe. In her eyes, she is giving the gift of love and protection from her god, she is praying for your own good. Yeah it's a bit weird, but she's so cute it's hard to get upset
Gonta Gokuhara - Acts of Service
O h my ggod?? Gentleman, sweetie, baby, precious, a present from god. These are many words to describe Gonta, and it's never made more clear than when you date. He already was very gentle and protective of you, but when you get in a relationship he takes it more seriously. He protects you and treats you as if you were breakable. Think of yourself as a rare beetle! If he deems the terrain as dangerous, he resorts to craddling you in his arms and carrying you. As a true Gentleman, Gonta is incredibly courteous and polite, holding open doors for you and being as respectful as possible. And if you ask him to do anything he will happily do it for you (well, except hurt a bug). Whenever he does something that upsets you, or something he percives as rude, he does tend to freak out. He'll need a lot of reassurance. And just... please show Gonta physical affection too. Hold his hand, run your fingers through his hair, make him feel as loved as possible. He deserves it
Himiko Yumeno - Quality Time
Himiko wasn't really interested in relationships, she never felt a real attraction to anyone. Even Tenko and Angie she saw more as friends than love interests. In your first interactions she felt the same about you, but then oddly felt herself become more attached. Suddenly she was following you around and constantly trying to show you her magic. Whenever you were seperated she tended to think about you a lot. Himiko still can't fully comprehend why your relationship was different from all the others, but she isn't complaining in the slightest. You bring such peace to her heart and it's so refreshing. Expect lots of invites to her room for magic shows
K1-B0 - Physical Touch
K1-B0 is a pure sweetie. Being a robot, he is NOT used to any sort of relationship. It took him awhile to get friendships down fully, so when you asked him out he was not used to it at all. Any sign of affection made him blush like mad, if he had a heart it would be beating like crazy. Somehow everything you did drove him nuts! How soft your skin feels on his metal, the warmth radiating off your body, the way you nuzzle into his neck, it all felt like heaven. Another reason he loves your touch is how respectful you are (unlike 2 certain degenerates). You touch him with purpose and love, no judgement. Seriously, just cuddle with him and kiss his cheeks, let him know you care. It makes him feel alive
Kaito Momota - Words of Affirmation
Kaito is a BRO through and through! I'm talking ride or die. He will stand by your side through thick and thin, and will be your number one support system. Any issues you have he will want to hear and help with. Even if you tell him you just want someone to listen, he is gonna listen soooooo hard. The best part is that he's well grounded as well. Kaito isn't afraid to voice his true opinions and always gives it to you straight. He feels like lying ruins a relationship. The only thing he ever hid from you was his illness, and that was discovered fairly quickly. It hurts to see him put you over his own health, but Kaito will always do it with no hesitation. You are special to him, in more ways than one
Kirumi Tojo - Acts of Service
She is a maid, her life's goal is to serve. Whether it's her boss, friends, or lovers, Kirumi aims to please. With you she takes care of you well. Your house will always be clean, hot meals served to you daily, and if you need help with your hobbies she will learn as much as she can to assist. To be honest you tend to feel bad a lot. Despite your insistance for her to take a break, Kirumi refuses. It may seem like she's just a worker of sorts, but she has self respect and refuses to be treated as such. When she cares for you, it's out of love and care, not obligation. But sometimes, if you do something for her instead, you can catch her starting to tear up. Kirumi will try to reprimand you, but will eventually drop her professionalism and just embrace you lovingly
Kokichi Ouma - Quality Time
Piece of SHIT gremlin dear LORD I love him. Sure Hiyoko was a handful, but with Kokichi it's even more apparent. He's a trickster through and through, and just because you're dating doesn't mean he's gonna ease up on it. They will probably be less intense and more playful most of the time, and the name calling will be more cheeky rather than insulting. But you are not gonna be immune to his jackassery. He has a habit of following you around a lot and constantly trying to bug you and get your attention. Don't even get me started on his lies. At first you thought he was just wanting to be annoying (okay that's part of it), but actually he just really likes spending time with you. Being able to talk to you constantly and see your funny reactions gives him so much happiness. He'll deny how clingy he is and mock you for thinking so, but one time he followed you into the bathroom, so that speaks for itself
Korekiyo Shinguji - Physical Touch
Korekiyo is a... I'm just gonna say it, he's a kinky bastard. He finds humanity fascinating and wants to experience the wonders of existence, including the taboos. He is normally quite a smooth talker, and despite the messed up or concerning things he says, you still find yourself charmed. But the real affection comes from his touch. Korekiyo loves to study your body and your behaviors whenever he touches you in different places. He always makes mental notes on your habits and reactions. It intrigues him so intensely! But uh, his real experimenting and studying comes in the bedroom. Just get used to trying new things, he wants to experience it all with you
Maki Harukawa - Acts of Service
Being a groomed assassin since childhood, Maki has grown very cold and pessimistic toward people. To be honest she wasn't very fond of you when you first met. The only reason she ever gave you the time of day was because you were friends with Kaito and Shuichi. It took a long time for her to see you as a friend, and even longer to admit she had a crush on you. Believing herself to be less than human means she doesn't feel worthy to be loved. Once you declared your deep love for her full of passion, it kinda broke her. She didn't say much, but she broke out into tears immedietly. From then on, Maki started to show affection more. She wanted you to know how much she loved you, and thought that doing things for you is the best way to show it. She is very protective of you, both from people and situations. If you are ever in a dangerous or stress inducing situation, Maki is gonna be there to help and assist. And if anyone dares to try to hurt you... well, they won't have a body for the casket
Miu Iruma - Physical Touch
Now, it's obvious that Miu shows love through physical contact. But not in the way you think. You see, she talks a big game about sex and shit, but in reality she is a blushing mess everytime you hold her hand. A great way to see her squirm is hugging her around the waist from behind. Instant way to short circut her brain. These bouts of teasing often invoke swear filled insults thrown your way, but don't worry she's just embarrassed. If you do this enough it will lead to her getting frustrated, both emotionally and sexually. She'll initiate affection by pulling you close to her or just sitting in your lap like a grumpy cat. You wanna keep poking the lion? Well you better get ready for lion to pounce one day
Rantaro Amami - Physical Touch
He is a smoooooth talker. Very swoon worthy and always knows what to say to make you blush. His voice is the perfect tone too. Most people can attest to these facts. But he really likes to touch you gently and romantically. When he touches your hips or shoulders it's very gentle and relaxing. He also loves to nuzzle his face in your neck and chest while you cuddle. It's like you fit together like puzzle pieces. What he loves the most though is your hands. Rantaro takes any opportunity to hold or caress your hands, giving small kisses to the back of them. He loves the way you get bashful. Another fun way to bond is by doing your nails! It's a great time to catch up and talk, and you also get your nails done. So win-win!
Ryoma Hoshi - Words of Affirmation
Ryoma doesn't feel like he deserves much in life. Or anything in general. Not only was he a convicted killer, he was also on death row. So when you came up and confessed to him, he actually turned you down and said you deserve someone much better. Someone who isn't a shell of their former self. But strangely you didn't give up and kept pursuing him, and eventually he broke and admitted he felt the same. Ryoma has clinical depression and it's quite clear, but he never tries to make it your issue. Instead of focusing on his personal troubles and trauma, he puts his efforts into supporting you and voicing his admirations. Pride for you is something he will bluntly show. When you attempt to talk to him and let him air his troubles, he'll insist he's fine. He'll still have a cool air to him, but deep down he really appreciates your concern. And honestly, he considers you a reason to live a little longer
Tenko Chabashira - Physical Touch
Tenko is aggressive with her affections (just ask Himiko) so when she crushes on you she is obvious and intense. She'll gush over you and shower you with praise as often as possible. So if you validate her and accept her feelings, she's gonna jump right into it. Expect a lot of hugs and snuggles quite openly. To the point of embarrassment sometimes. You are just so cute she can't help herself!! A favorite past time of her is to practice Akido with you. Tenko gets a lot of joy sharing her passion with you, and being able to toss you around is a bonus I'mma be blunt though. If you are femme or femme presenting she is gonna protect you with her heart and treat you like a queen. If you are masc or masc presenting it will be... rough for a while. She'll eventually come around, but you'll just have to prove you aren't a degenerate male and earn her respect. Once you do, Tenko will hold you in much higher regard than other men and treat you as the golden standard
Tsumugi Shirogane - Gift Giving
Tsumugi is a mastermind obsessed with the Danganronpa series in itself. Something about it is fascinating to her and brings her much amusement. And with you she instantly noticed that you fit the series perfectly. You fit her perfectly. She knew she had to get you, and luckily she did! While at first it was more of an entertainment thing, Tsumugi eventually found herself growing fond of you. She actually enjoyed going on dates with you, no ulterior motives anymore. To emphasize her newfound affection, she often liked to sew clothes for you! You can draw up a design for any outfit you want and she'll be able to make it a reality. Basically you'll never need to go shopping again. As some bonus "gifts", sometimes you'll come home to Tsumugi dressed up... in just the way you like~
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tangelotime · 29 days ago
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Hello! I'm Syd, and I'm tired! In a nutshell, I’m disabled, can't get a job, but also can’t get on disability either, so I have no way to support myself. All I want is to finally move forward with my life, take care of my health, and not have to deal with my abusive family, but without help, I have no way to do that. I’m multiply disabled; I’m autistic and have PTSD and a torn glute, which, thanks to medical neglect, means I rely on a wheelchair and a cane to get around. My doctors also suspect POTS and MCAS, as well as other forms of dysautonomia. I’m in and out of the hospital getting tests and my referrals are getting referrals. On my own, I just can’t afford this forever and I want a diagnosis. The house I am renting is falling apart. My landlord refuses to weatherproof it, and the resulting mold leaves me in full body pain, ruining my health even more. Unfortunately, this is the only place I can get with my awful credit score. Anyone with an abusive family knows how tough it is to survive without that support system. Christmas used to be a time I could spend with the people who loved me most, my grandparents. They wanted me taken care of when they passed away and so they left me an inheritance in a trust fund so it wouldn’t get me kicked off disability. Unfortunately, I was kicked off of disability because of neglect on my father’s part, which dissolved the trust. All the money immediately went to my brother and left me with nothing. My brother refuses to help me no matter how much I’ve asked. I’ve contacted law enforcement, attorneys and social services, all to no avail. For three years I had to take large loans out to survive and rely on abusive roommates, which contributed severely to my mental health issues. I’ve managed to move out of that situation now and with my boyfriend but he can’t work enough hours to afford what we need and take me to my many appointments. We can’t afford to regularly put food on the table.This Gofundme is my last lifeline. $20,000 would let me and my partner stop worrying about how to afford rent and food for a while, put some money towards a motorized wheelchair, and pay for the specialist visits I need. It would buy us some rest. It has been a long, exhausting journey, and there are things I’d like to do that aren’t fighting for my life. I am an artist, and I’m working on a book I’d love to publish some day. Donate to a disabled trans person and help me live long enough to put my mark on the world.
My friend Syd is having a hard time right now and could really use the donations! It's really really hard for them to ask for help so I'm doing it for them lol. They have three hospital visits coming up this week and could use a hand.
If you don't feel like donating for nothing, they also have commissions over on their bsky account!
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chrome-barkz-aac · 4 months ago
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bit of a vent /asking for help belowwww
i know that im LSN but i dont feel like other people struggle like i do. that sounds really pretentious and dramatic to say out loud but i look at all of my other LSN friends and they have jobs and aren't failing classes and are taking their meds and not behind on chores. I'm not sure if its the combination of my SCZ and other mental health issues that have made me drop out of school before or what but why isn't ne 1 else struggling like this? every day i feel like im walking through a cloud where nothing makes sense and everything is so hard.
i guess i should be fucking grateful that i get to go to school at all (because of financial and disability reasons) but it doesnt feel like a blessing it feels like a burden. im tired all the time and i cant study and i can't keep my apartment clean and im having to skip class. i can barely drive nowadays bc cars keep darting in and out of existence and i feel like its too dangerous to drive for me. i love driving i dont want to give it up.
i can barely bathe myself because im just so tired. i just sit in the water and cant even wash. and i can hardly brush my teeth more than once every other day.
idk man i just want to be able to finish college, get a job or do a PhD program and live on my own without fear that i'm not going to be independent. i don't want to be dependent on my family or a partner for the rest of my life. i don't want to do that again.
i just want to be able to do science man but at this point it barely feels worth it to persue a career. i dont want to be beholden to something outside of my control. and im frustrated that no one else seems to get this. im not disabled enough to be MSN and qualify for the kind of help that would get me but every day is harder than the last and im worried that im going to relapse or lose everything again.
does ne 1 have ne ideas for how i can manage this stuff? im really really struggling and im terrified that im going to have to drop out again, which would effectively end my chances at living independently.
(also i have asked for help about stuff like this before and gotten the response that i am privileged [for needing help with chores/living independently and considering options such as a group home or home care service] because i am american. this is me asking for help. if you feel that strongly, you may want to consider writing your own post)
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