#permanently exhausted
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#meme#mattsmemes#memes that make you go hmmm#morning person#night owl#permanently exhausted#exhausted#mentally exhausted#tired#afternoon#duck#afternoon duck
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#i want to disappear but i don't even have the energy to do that#i'm so pathetic every method apart from N seems too hard for me#and that means flying to Peru#i barely speak any Spanish and i have to find a good excuse as to where i'm actually going i hate lying and i'm scared#i want to take it back here but how much trouble will i get in if i'm caught i'm so scared#and i said i'd read the Bible first but i just can't#i can't concentrate#so i just do nothing#i can't even numb myself#i feel sick after half a bottle of vodka but i don't feel any better#i don't know when i will ever summon the energy to take action#i know i should be grateful#i'm not sleeping on the street#i have somewhere warm to be#i'm not going through a war or a famine#why aren't i more grateful#it's more guilt bc i feel like why should i have those things when others don't#i don't feel like i deserve it#i feel so useless#my brain is so broken i can't even make motivate myself to eat#or take the meds because they don't do anything at all#mental health services can't help they don't even care#i don't blame them bc they're overworked overstretched underfunded#i am just an annoyance and i know that i wish i could stop existing and stop being annoying#i just have no motivation for anything at all#permanently exhausted#i have nothing to offer#it's been hammered into me that i don't matter i get it#i just want to sleep forever
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Ugh I literally haven’t bathed for a week because I’m so tired and forgetful, I forget to clean myself up until I can’t stand my own smell, it’s embarrassing and it sucks because my head is always losing track of what I’m supposed to be doing. I haven’t cleaned my room for more than a few months either. I’m a mess, a dirty depressed mess.
Also it’s the getting up and getting out my clothes thing that makes it hard. I’m so sensitive to extreme temperatures to the point where I get too cold and it hurts or I get too hot and dehydrated! I cannot just rip the bandaid off when it comes to daily routines.
So yeah, I totally get the hygiene issue 100%!
So.. I just got into a fight with my folks (again) over my hygiene. I don’t like not being clean, in fact I hate it. But I have a lot of sensory issues with water, and my executive dysfunction can get really bad sometimes. I’m not trying to make excuses, I really just.. need help. I’m trying so hard with my ADHD meds and seeing a psychiatrist. My dad is claiming he’s “never met anyone with this problem”
So I want to try and prove a point.
If you don’t, that’s totally valid. But I know I’m not the only one, I just wanna see it for myself..
I know this isn’t my usual content, I’ll make more of it soon I promise. But this is really important to me. You can ignore it if you want I won’t be upset or offended, my account is usually for happy distractions from life. But.. I just need this one moment. Thanks for understanding 💜
-Starr ⭐️
#autism#adhd#audhd problems#audhd struggles#hygiene#mentally unstable#mental fatigue#permanently exhausted#getting out of bed is hard#disabled#ugh fml
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Something cheerful
#Wuk Lamat#ff14#animation#animeeffects#tried to do something a little cheerful because ive been so poor off#i liked the art but not the animation#but it was mostly a test of animeeffects. for a free program its not bad#not super great for a lot of moving parts and complicated movements tho#but free so hey#this took me like two weeks jsut because im crashing hella hard rn#everything hurts and i can't think to save my life and im marrow deep exhausted#i just hope it isn't permanent
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the worst part about wanting to fuck Trafalgar D. Water Law (other than the stupid hat) is that he's... attainable. I could go my whole life without ever meeting a Mihawk, for example, but I could find a Law within an hour
#trafalgar d water law#one piece#his tattoos and permanent look of haunted#exhausted despair have captivated me
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Hey everyone.
I’m going to take until after the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday to just step away from this space for a little bit.
I think I’ll be back. I just also think I need to take a minute and figure some stuff out for myself.
I have been in this space for a solid ten years now, and have often encouraged people to walk away if things feel too heavy for them. So I’m going to take my own advice and just take a little time.
Please be kind to each other, okay? Remember to treat each other with love and to be gentle with yourselves and others.
I love you all so very much. And I’ll be back again soon. Hopefully with a better attitude and the ability to spread more love around this place.
Amanda. 💜
#I could feel myself getting like… more irritated?#and exhausted by certain conversations#and it’s all so much#for me the last two weeks have been constant and continuous conversations that are hard and frightening and terrible#and your girl is worn out#and this place- once upon a time- was a place I came to and usually felt more peaceful#but not at the moment?#so I think i just need to find some joy and some peace in my personal life#and then come back better#it’s not a permanent thing#anyway.#I’ll pop in later tonight to check my messages and stuff#I really do love you all and love this little corner#be good!#💜💜💜💜💜
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somewhere in between the afterlife and 4th grade
#my art#doodles#i miss my cats i miss my dogs i miss my horses. the homesickness is permanent. the grief is fucking exhausting#i miss my sister
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What if while high as a kite, Swiss had a craving for chocolate milk, but didn’t want to reach up to grab a cup, so he just mixed the syrup with the milk directly in his mouth. Mount found him while he was “making” a second and scared the daylights out of him, making him spit the milk out all over the now pretty cranky earth ghoul
Swiss would go on to teach rain, who then taught phantom and each time mountain happens to walk into the kitchen and find any of them mid mouth-milkshake he would just sigh and roll his eyes as he walked right back out of the kitchen.
#they’re all little shits#and mountain is the permanently exhausted dad#the band ghost#swiss ghoul#rain ghoul#phantom ghoul#shitghosting#cryptidrambling
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#not sure how long I can go on feeling like this#like its fine im fine im not going to do anything permanent or harmful#but my tolerance for discomfort I am finding out is absolutely in the fuckingn ground#which makes a lot of sense considering the amount of coping mechanisms I’m using To numb on a regular basis#but holy fucking shit I can’t keep feeling like this#i need to start feeling like myself again#i don’t feel like myself#i feel no creativity#no spark#no interest#everything is difficult#even everyday tasks like putting on makeup feel like climbing a mountain#and I feel so ashamed for the struggles#and Caige keeps telling me to be gentle with myself#but I feel like I can’t be because if I’m gentle with myself than I’m scared I’ll never get out of this pit#i feel like I just need to power through it#was googling#‘how to get over burnout without taking a break’#and it’s like. ‘how to fill up your car with gas without putting any gas in the tank’#but I’m so fucking stubborn I feel incapable and unwilling to give myself time or space#which is dumb because it’s not like I’m making any progress with the way things are going now#im just exhausted#sleeping so much#don’t know how to get back to myself#rabbit rambles#no need to say anything I just needed to get this off my chest
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You guys say “hey nico we already saw your Chandrelle redesign yesterday” and i go uhm what the freak? Her boyfriends are literally here now as well :/ you literally have to look at them or i will wail and also drawing vallamir made me almosg pass out (Lazarus’ helmet reveal under the cut baby!)
Idk how any of these fuckers get onto that motorcycle
#THANK GOD ALL OF THEM ARE FINALLY COMPLETE THESE WERE SOOOOO SILLY TO DO#drawing armour is a riot and a half but i would do anything for that man#their divorce is about to change the trajectory of the world permanently and forever. thats just how powerful these people are#maybe the real freaks of legendaria were the friends we made along the way#i swear i have legitimate reasoning behind why Lazarus’ helmet obscures his entire face but it’s almost 4 am here and i am so exhausted#and my throat hurts!!!#so blessed be. that thought will be shared another day#my art#the hex#daniel mullins games#chandrelle stormblaze#lazarus bleeze#vallamir#Spider Cereal (au)
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I'm looking at the Zora May prompts and wanna write stuff, and now my brain's just giggling with ideas LOL like--
Imagine, after Age of Calamity, that Link and Mipha get together. That has its whole set of fun and drama - a Hylian/Zora marriage would mean a lot anyway, but particularly when it's the Zora princess and the Hero of Hyrule. Link and Mipha start to have a family, Zelda is settling into being queen, and they all have their own set of stressors and joys and the three are still besties and it would be just so funny to see y'all. Like... Link takes his oath as a knight seriously, so he still assists Hyrule often, and just this scenario in my head came and--
Zelda, sighing: I hardly slept last night. I was up late researching the latest Zonai discoveries and almost forgot I had a meeting with the Rito delegation this morning. I'm so tired.
Link, hair a mess, on his third cup of coffee after dealing with one of his kids having a meltdown while the other kept everyone up crying all night, dealing with Mipha also trying to do royal duties, having just teleported over here via Sheikah towers: .....That sounds rough.
#give me some domestic hilarity and stress and fluff dang it#Zelda has every right to be exhausted too but this image in my head was too funny not to share#I don't know how parents do it I'm barely alive most days LOL#if I had a husband and kids to worry about too I'd probably have a permanent IV for caffeine injections#all my lovelies who are parents: God bless you XD#age of calamity#oh and then totk happens and Link almost loses his ever loving mind LOL#imagine Link as a dad in totk HAHA#Link dealing with Ganondorf while his four-year-old destroys Dorf emotionally#Ganondorf: Behold a king's revival!#Link's kid: You're not even NEARLY as big as Grandpa and he's a REAL king and your hair's ugly#miphlink#poor Zelda had to become queen after the Calamity since she came of age#she and Link exchange letters on the regular when he isn't doing assignments for her and actually gets a few days to chill in the Domain#Mipha has to often visit to help Zelda with her anxieties#I think they'd be a fun dynamic ok
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John Marston and Sombra 𑁦𓃥𑁦 RDR1
#this game is so good#I bought this game second hand and it was in japanese but it's fine now#bonnie gave me this sick horse#I don't know if it's a mare or stallion but I named him sombra del sol because of his beautiful coat colour#john sounds permanently exhausted and I understand him#man just wants to get his life back but he's stuck helping weird people find maps and sell health tonics#bless him#rdr1#red dead redemption#john marston#mick squeaks#red dead redemption community#sombra del sol my horse#he has one white foot I think that's so cute#micks pics
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hi i don’t want to be tired anymore
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I'm feeling lowkey talented 🙈
#made this permanent rangoli thingy so I don't have to exhaust myself every diwali by making 100s of rangolis#tell me you're proud of me or I'll cry#considering how much I used to hate painting and how much details it took I'm very happy#is this art?#art
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unfortunately the world is too fucking messed up so I am currently unable to give a shit about how messed up everything is because it's all too big and if I get upset about any of it my entire ability to be a person will come crashing in
normal service will resume as soon as possible
#red said#this is not a choice I'm making. to be clear.#it's just that after everything that's happened in the last year or so i am currently incapable of having a feeling beyond 'oh.'#just a kind of blank stare of 'this is certainly information i am recieving'#so I'm giving myself permission. to be numb to the horrors of the world for a short while.#because being mad at myself for not caring enough doesn't seem to be doing much to help and it's sapping me more#so i figure. i just accept that right now i cannot summon any strong reactions to things however much they deserve them#and hopefully a short time of that will help me rekindle my will to fight cause right now frankly I'm getting nowhere#I've still been trying to show up and do what i can but it feels so overwhelmingly pointless i think I'm actively undercutting myself#like I'm actively extending the period in which I can't fully commit myself to any cause or action#i can't even get angry any more and this shit deserves so much anger#but I've been angry for so long i think I've lost track of how to hold it as a live thing#I'm angry about 15 years of social murder in my own country. I'm angry about the ongoing violence against Palestine. I'm angry about Congo.#I'm angry about the death penalty in the US and I'm angry about the ongoing quiet genocide of First Nations people in Canada#and I'm angry about climate change I'm angry that people are burning and freezing around the world. I'm angry and I'm fucking scared#but none of that's GOING anywhere and none of it seems to be worth shit and at some point it just gets ossified#it's not like. a driving force at the moment. it's not propelling me it's not doing anything it's just a constant scab yk#i need. to feel like my anger has any kind of worth or does any kind of good. and that's not there it's just so built up.#i need too flush it out and start with it fresh and keen#cause at this stage yeah I'm just too tired by it to feel it intensely. it's just background noise.#i see the thing about Trump bringing back the federal death penalty or i watch my government debate how best to attack migrants#and I'm just like. 'oh. that's bad. that is a bad thing that's happening.' and i feel nothing#because at this point I'm so used to be information causing anger and fear and hopelessness that it doesn't like. register as a feeling.#this isn't happening about everything. i can still feel things on an interpersonal level. but that like. systems anger.#it's not landing cause i am so struggling emotionally to feel like i can do a single thing with it#like not just stuff happening Over There but here too. people i live being attacked out neglected by structural forces.#I'm succumbing to the 'oh. that's bad.' bc honestly i just have run out of road in being angry#i don't think it's permanent i think I'm just exhausted
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i lived btw if you even care
#sarcasm just in case#in reference to surgery i had last week#ngl never have had surgery this major and i anticipated pain and wound care etc but not this amount of exhaustion#i am sleeping so fucking much and i already slept a lot#but today is the first day without any acute surgical related pain and my drains are out#so i am sorry to all the dms i have yet to reply to bc my brain is basically sand and goo#i also fell down the stairs lmfao but i am fine!#i'll still keep my queue where it is and may keep it at this level permanently idk#ty to everyone who gave me well wishes i really appreciate it!#the speaking clown#delete later
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