#im just exhausted
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need to scream in a field
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after hours on the Hazbin Hotel tag, my genius conclusions are:
Viv sucks, i wish Amazon had imposed an editor or three on the writing process
animation is hard, please don't hate on the team they're trying to work and pay bills like the rest of us,
no, i don't know how much control they have over their own work, read points above
that said i am rather proudly i pirated the whole season (its bad enough its been living in my head rent-free since its release)
my brain is a mess, i need to touch grass, drink water and eat not-coffee
downscrooling thru tags of hell cartoon mixed with real world news is a bad idea;
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I'm so tired and I'm on Day 5 of no power. I thankfully don't have to be as concerned about gas today, but I have things here at home I should take care of during daylight when I can actually see.
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feeling dead and numb so I'm reading bad ending hanahaki fics to feel something
#hanahaki#fanfic#depressing shit#im just exhausted#probably#hopefully#pov youre so dissociated you forget what colors look like for a minute
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AUDBRJFIBTITNDH THIS FUCKING FANDOM MAN
i just
:(
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"A little family day, so we won't have any regrets"
AND WHAT IF I DIED?! WHAT IF THIS WAS MY LAST STRAW?!
I will actually commit ropeneck. I am entitled to emotional compensation actually.
#I CANT TAKE THIS#I CANT#AND IF I DROWN IN MY TEARS?!#buddy daddies#episode 10#look this entire episode hurt me in ways i couldn't fathom#i don't even have thoughts to add#im just exhausted#p.a. works you will be dealt with#How much crying is too much crying#cause i feel like I've done too much of it#THERE ARE ONLY LIKE 2 EPS LEFT
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Could you tag all of your 9-1-1 posts or reblogs so I can hide them? Thanks.
i won’t be able to tag all of them sorry. if you’re okay with seeing some then whatever but if you really really don’t want to see it i’d recommend just unfollowing me. idk what to tell you. sorry 👍 my memory isn’t that great
#i try to tag the posts i make#was also under the impression that if an original post has certain tags#any subsequent reblogs of that post will also be treated like that tag was applied to them and blocked for those who have the tag filtered#if that’s not how it works then sorry#it used to work like that in pretty sure#sorry if i sound bitchy or anything anon i swear im not upset#im just exhausted
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hello guys,
uhm uhm uhm uhm
erm erm
so what I was going to say- uhm
BYE GUYS
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Saw a bug today.
#this was right outside my front door#i just got home from a pretty important convo#if you catch my drift#this friend was waiting to greet me#thank you friend#the convo went well#if youre wondering#im just exhausted#from it#im a crybaby you see
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isnt it so funny to watch all the people you thought liked you form better relationships with everyone elss but you
#idk man#tonight is just not it for me#theres just smth abt no one ever interacting unless i interact first#and smth abt literally no one acknowledging me or my art#like .#man i just get looked over constantly#and its not just this. its life in general#people aren’t particularly willing to like me or acknowledge me or whatever#i just feel DEAD dude#its my irls and online friends and everything#my family too#im just exhausted#its so funny too lmao#like this is so america core#native americans arent ever acknowledged… im native american…#lmao#god i hate myself#light vent cw#or more than a light vent idk#sorry this isnt any reflection on my friends#theyre genuinely great and caring#i just feel like this.
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i am so gosh darn eepy
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MY PHONE HAS BEEN RETRIEEEEVED- for now?- uh.. w t f d o i p o s t h e r e ? ? . . .
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Anyone else have big dreams and no idea how to realistically achieve them and a fear of inadequacy so they're worried they're going to stagnate in their current situation because they're too afraid to leave it or is that just me?
#personal#inferiority complex#i have so much shit i want to do#i want to leave the job im im because i dont like it#i want to be using my degree for mkre than i am#i want to be working full time in theagre and/or film#and i keep applying for jobs and just get every door slammed in my fucking face every time#and now im almost 26 so i have to worry about any job i *do* take offering insuramce#and the job im in right now 'much as i hate it has insirance for when i turn 26#and I'm afraid to leave because of that even though they don't even pay me a livable wage#if i wasn't living with my parents I'd probably be homeless or have 0 savings#and its not like i can really say fuck it and quit and move somewhere more conducive to what I want to do because I have savings#because I need a job somewhere that can pay me enough to support rent and has insurance and those are in short supply#i just feel like shit#i feel like im stuck in this rut and don't know how to get out of it and am never gonna get out#im just exhausted
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I'm so torn cause on one hand the Vampire Chronicles has such good fanfic and I'm loving reading and commenting as all these gorgeous fics update
But on the other hand I usually hang out in bigger fandoms and filter for complete fics over 40k
So while I'm loving the community I'm also so overwhelmed by all the stories coming out in small chunks and keeping track of them all. It's becoming a lot of mental work after many months because I usually only read one fic at a time. I read really really fast so I'm following 30+ ongoing fics rn
I haven't dropped off the earth I'm just reading 405k Star Wars fic and might read a few more insanely long things to reset myself. If I'm reading your WIPs you didn't upset me or anything I'll come back soon
(much warmth to @weather-mood @revolution-starter @apoptoses @angstosaur @dancermk I still love you)
tl;dr I'm taking a (hopefully) quick break to go dunk my head in some insanely long Star Wars fic as a pallette cleanser but I will come back I promise
#esin speaks#housekeeping#if anyone know some good prequel era jedi temple fics send them my way#seriously ive never been so active in current fic before#im just exhausted#im still blogging about iwtv tho#this isnt turning into a star wars blog
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like, i feel at the same time incapable and unwilling to work. I can't make myself do it and i don't want to do it
#i bet this is just something universal ToT#im just exhausted#i am biting i am screaming#i need to be taken away#i need to be put down actually#HRDGFSGSH
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ugh im bored and sleepy and i am. incoherent in the head. miss bein on the phone or just talkin to someone in general after a day like this.
#im just exhausted#ugh. so tired#mlm#mlm yearning#mlm post#mlm love#gay mlm#mlm thoughts#t4t#trans mlm#mlm blog#t4t yearning
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