#mental health comes first

[colouringbuck]

Sorry for going completely M.I.A for over a month, it was not my intention, but I ended up in a severe burnout which culminated in a bit of a breakdown and so I’ve spent the last few weeks recovering and without the ability to do much on social media.

To everyone who has tagged me or sent asked etc that I haven’t responded to in any way, I love you all for thinking of me and including me in things/sending asks etc hope you all know that it wasn’t on you and that if I had been able to, I would’ve been responding and championing all your creativity etc.

Burnout and a breakdown is not a fun way to spend my time, but I’m starting to feel better and feel able to get back to being online. I had so many plans for posts I wanted to write this hiatus, not sure I’ll get many of them out now but I will put some things out over the next few weeks! I have no idea what’s been going down for the most part in my absence - which is probably a good thing tbh - so bear with me if I end up going over things fandom has already discussed ad nauseum 🤓

Anyway - it’s good to be back and can’t wait to catch up with everything and everyone

[meloms-ao3]

[AO3 Specific] I know that this issue has been talked about a lot already, but I want to say something about it too, as I fell into this trap a few days ago.

Hits👏 and👏 Kudos 👏don’t 👏define👏 how 👏good 👏your 👏work 👏is. Period.

I catch myself staring at the hits-and-kudos counter on my newer and older fanfics an awful lot these days. And as soon as something that I am very proud of doesn’t get as many kudos/hits as I hoped for, I get sad. 

This is not to say that we aren’t allowed to feel sad about that! It’s a normal reaction, and don’t let anyone tell you that you are ���too sensitive“ or that you “care too much“ about that. Of course, we are allowed to care about that, we all want and need some sort of validation for the work we put into a fic at the end of the day.

Now what happened with me though, was that I let those low hits/kudos take over my motivation, almost destroying it. 

The thought “Why even bother writing when people won’t like it enough to give kudos anyway?“ was like a little gremlin in my mind, biting and punching down on my motivation.

What did I do to get away from those thoughts? I closed all my writing folders, put away my writing paper and didn’t open Ao3 for a day. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love Ao3, I love writing. But even a hobby you love and adore can make you feel bad at times. Especially when you feel like you are not succeeding in it. 

Results from this self-prescribed detox: 

I opened Ao3 again and instead of being sad about those 2 kudos I went “Hm, nice.“

Distancing myself from writing, though it was only for one day, kind of pulled me back into my preferred mindset [which is: Not everything is for everyone]. This will obviously not work for everyone, but I felt like I could share it since it might help one person out there who is in a similar situation as me.

All our fics are special, all our fics are valid and don't let yourself get discouraged!

Sending much love to all the writers out there ❤️

[kaspavanlortsyal]

Heya friends✨

FYI - I’m going to be on a half hearted hiatus for a little bit, I’m doing alright but between work stress and managing my anxiety I’m just going to lurk and not push myself to create content for a while. 🩵💕

Bear with me!

[overachievingal]

Please one more person tell me it's okay to be unemployed just yet because technically I graduate in 2 months, and have been using the past month to work on my deterioting mental health.

At home.

Also taking care of other members of my family.

[3friesshortofahappymeal]

I just got some great advice that I am going to take but will piss off several people in my office

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[bluephoenixgirl]

Hello Everyone!🤍

Just wanted to hop on here and give an update! Sadly again there will be no new story this week. These past couple of weeks for me have been very stressful so I just haven’t had the time and energy to write or type up a story. I’m hoping by next week I’ll have that energy to start writing. I’m going to be going to Disney at the end of October that’s why I really want to post as many stories as I can now since I know I won’t be posting anything for at least a week. I do already have a joe burrow one shot written I just need to type it up. I was hoping to have it typed up by Sunday since Sunday is the first game of the regular season but I don’t see that happening! Fingers crossed that next week won’t be stressful and my anxiety is on the down low because right now it is sky rocketed. Anyways I hope you all are doing well and hope to talk to you all very soon! Thank you for understanding! Hoping to get to 1,000 followers by my 23rd birthday. (Oct 3rd)

-Stephanie 🤍

[leyspin]

YOU FUCKIN SAID IT

figured out the only reason I wanted to drink tonight is to fill the emptiness within me so I decided against it. Anticlimactic I know. I should engage in something less escaping-from-emotion-ey

alcohol should be fun, not an escape

[demaparbat-hp]

Zuko was a child when he met Agni. Then, the spirits started coming to him. Eyes hidden in the hallways, voices pleading for help, for recognition, for remembrance.

Zuko could see Agni. He could see the broken remains of a Great Spirit and the empty smiles of amnesiac ghosts.

And they could see him in return.

[saintgoddess]

Smoke break 😤

[lilmeowmeowsagelesath]

i mean,, we knew going in that it was going to be about figuring out the circumstances of her sisters death …… oti was about mc overcoming personal trauma . idk they feel different to me, similar only in the way they have depth and the mcs feel realistic

Confession:

"I gave GOE a try during dr and oh Lord, it's OTI all over again. Too dark and gloomy for comfort, too heavy for a casual read, difficult to handle especially if you're already struggling with depression/loss. I would've liked for the author to experiment with something different."

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

I do really want to terrorpost but I don't feel qualified to be in that fandom man...... everyone is so smart and creative and they all have advanced degrees and I'm just sitting here like I think the lieutenants are in love :3

[ratwithhands]

Hi, Viewer Discretion:

This AU is about a nonexistent fictional mental health condition. There is imagery of straitjackets and other restraints, as well as mention of discrimination based off of health conditions. If you are uncomfortable with this content then please feel free to click off and enjoy something else. Thank you.

Dressing Sketch

Uniform Sketches

League Party sketch

Sketch dump for Battle Addict! This art has been gathering dust for a few months 😭 only just remembered to post it here.

These sketches are from Ver. 3 of Battle Addict, aka Battle Addict Twins, where both of them get the HCCM diagnosis.

The base idea for Battle Addict is that while most people enjoy Pokémon battling, there comes a certain point where one's love/obsession for battle starts bleeding into the rest of their life and becoming detrimental to their everyday life. This is usually called Combative Mania (CM), which is present in a large part of the population (40%-60%) hence why battling is so popular and so many different forms of it are made to keep people satisfied. The extreme form is Hyper-Competitive Combative Mania (HCCM), wherein a person spends so much time and energy for battles that it starts to affect their physical/mental health as well as their social life, since they neglect them in favour of their obsession.

Often what divides CM patients from HCCM patients is what they're willing to give up for battling and the extent of their knowledge regarding battles. CM patients usually only have a casual interest in battling or just enjoy the thrill of battling, but operate normally and have other interests outside of battle. They have basic to intermediate knowledge of battling, and can often partake in research or battles.

HCCM patients will often forgo food, water, sleep, school, work, and relationships in favour of researching and competing in battles. It is the only thing they find interest in and they devote most of their time towards it. Patients often memorize entire charts of statistics and different strategies and counterstrategies for battle, with different patients often having a certain subject they specialize in. Most patients with HCCM are unaware that they have it, they either assume that they have CM or that they are completely normal and just enjoy Pokémon battles. They often go into fields that work directly with researching Pokémon or battles, such as professors, scientists, gym leaders, elite four members, league workers, battle facility operators, and so on.

Ingo and Emmet do not know they have HCCM. They engage with battle and researching battle in a way that they think is typical for a hobbyist. Ingo tends to read on academic papers, textbooks, and study guides regarding the statistics and capabilities of Pokémon, whereas Emmet takes a more hands-on approach in studying Pokémon anatomy and battle strategy. Ingo often charts and studies natures, EVs, IVs, stat spreads, abilities, moves, and their properties. Emmet sketches anatomical diagrams and studies of Pokémon, including skeletal structure, musculature, organ systems, and physical appearance, highlighting pressure points in the body for executing the most damage and for keeping his own Pokémon protected. He also tends to read into psychological studies as well as conducting his own long term tests to predict a person's strategy in different situations. The two feed into each other's interests, teaching the other of their own discoveries and celebrating breakthroughs together. As a result, their total knowledge of battling is immense, which led to them becoming Subway Bosses straight out of college.

The two lived and worked fairly normally; they were very passionate about their work and it provided a way to sate their need for fighting on a regular basis, as well as giving them the space to experiment with different fighting styles and analyze others' strategies. Of course they still continue their studying outside of work, which often leads to them trying different methods or revisiting recorded battles to see how they could improve. The twins still believe their hours long discussions, piles of notes, and stacks of study materials littered around their house are perfectly fine, only stopping to reconsider after a comment from a coworker highlights how they must be crazy or incredibly disciplined to have as huge of a win : loss ratio as they do.

They end up taking the issue to a psychiatrist after dwelling on the idea for a few days, which is where they get diagnosed after a few tests and a description of their lifestyle and interests. Their case is considered moderate but could easily escalate into severe if left unchecked, though the main concern is whether this would make them a threat to other people due to their work and prominence. Obviously they don't want to lose their jobs, but this kind of thing could get them removed from the League Council if it got out, so they have to consider whether they share this information with their employers or not. Ingo thinks it'd be best to keep it under wraps, but Emmet fears that this could be used as blackmail and argues that they need to release this information themselves before someone else ruins their lives with it. Eventually they do take the diagnosis to the League Council and it gets out to the public.

Emmet takes the fall for Ingo, claiming his case is severe whereas Ingo's is mild so that the League Council will be more distracted with him to bother Ingo. That ends up with Emmet getting a new restraining uniform because the League no longer trusts him to handle himself in public based off his diagnosis. Neither of them are particularly pleased about this, but Emmet tells Ingo to look on the bright side. Emmet actually starts to find the jacket to be more of a little challenge than a hindrance, as it adds an extra level of difficulty to battles that he's been looking for, but Ingo still thinks it would be better if he hadn't had to wear it at all. This unfortunately extends to League parties where he has to be restrained to even be allowed entry, which he is much less happy about.

This post is getting ungodly long as it is but there's also a branch off of this concept where Ingo and Emmet land in Hisui together and Emmet's uniform looks like this. He deconstructed the uniform he was given to modify his jacket since by that point he had a bit of a sentimental connection to it and didn't want to just swap it out.

(Bonus fun fact: Ingo and Emmet decided to pull the biggest gag on the Pearl Clan when they first land by pretending to be one person under the alias Eki. Ingo is the polite one in the dark coat by day, and Emmet is the energetic one in the white coat by night. "Day Eki" is more popular with other Wardens and older clan members, whereas "Night Eki" is more popular with the village children and insomniacs.

The whole Warden Eki concept is technically its own AU in the background but it did originate from Battle Addict. Also I already drew Emmet in the Pearl Strait I can't take that back)

Anyways uhhh there's more let me see if I can condense it:

The twins went to a University specifically focused on battle (Champion's University), where they ended up studying subjects in their specific interests. Emmet took psychology of battle and Pokémon anatomy to learn about the weak points in trainers and Pokémon, and Ingo took general statistics and study of moves which are exactly what they sound like

The twins use the Vs Recorder all the time, both to track their own progress and to observe how passengers fight. It's often stuck to the glass windows to catch the Pokémon in the middle of the car, though they have considered buying Rotom Drones expressly for this purpose

Emmet actually has a stack of different studies on weak points in the human body but he doesn't share that with anyone, not even Ingo

Emmet's study of trainer psych has led to him often predicting tactics before they happen and dodging/countering them with his Pokémon. He often challenges himself to predict a person's team, moveset, and strategy based on appearance, gait, and body language, sharing his guesses with Ingo in case he makes any useful observations

Ingo and Emmet are possibly the first instance of causing "learned HCCM" in their Pokémon because after the training that they do together, the Pokémon have developed their own independent bloodlust and have started memorizing the move strategies that the twins have them use

Sometimes to celebrate fully completing a study on a particular set of Pokémon, the twins will eat one. This is mostly as a treat and an inside joke, but they will research what's in season/allowed and go hunt for one. Ingo is usually the one to catch it, and Emmet is the one to cook it. There's some really goofy shitposts about them going after pseudo-legendaries overseas, or Palkia's leg in Hisui

The twins can perform full medical care on any Pokémon and can often grind for hours nonstop since they can heal their teams themselves. They also save a lot on healing items this way

After releasing their diagnosis, the perception of the twins have gone in wildly different directions. Some people treat them as subhuman or as monsters, some people don't care, some people call them psycho yandere boys on twitter. Emmet tends to get more of the negative connotations, Ingo tends to get the more "positive" ones. Emmet also tends to get a lot of stares due to his restraint and status as a crazed fighter, which he pretends doesn't get to him

I think that's everything, I'm going to go collapse. Hope you guys enjoy 👍

[wishchip106]

i wonder how long it took for charles to get out of his habits and depression after dofp

putting my problems on charles lmao

charles not wanting to change but knowing he needs too because nothing beneficial will come out of staying in his sad little bubble of alcohol and the serum.

i find it kind of unrealistic to just be able to get out of that hole. he would be going through two different types of withdrawal and his ex kinda broke his heart again

the main reason he got out of the house was because logan told him about the future and that his sister was going to be tortured and experimented on

he would also have to get re-used to not using his legs AND telepathy

bro stronger than me damn

i feel like mental health was also definitely not treated the same way it is now compared to the 70s so he pretty much just has hank as a support beam

change is an incredibly difficult thing so i bet it took at least a few years for charles to heal from all those years of drinking and taking too high a dose of the serum and depression. even then he still clearly has some lingering habits as we can see in dark pheonix he resorts to drinking whenever he struggles with something (and this is 20 years after dofp)

this guy crazy forreal

[evilminji]

Considering in star wars force users seem one bad mental break from becoming genocidal maniacs the jedi would invest into therapy alot, but clearly that isnt the case and it makes me wonder how the jedi (at least to my knowledge) came to be without any therapists on the payroll.

Same way as a LOT of countries? Heck, the military or airline pilots. Both of which give THEM access to considerable Devastating Power?

"Why do you need to see a therapist? Are you dangerous? Crazy?"

There's even odds the Sith didn't even HAVE to influence this one. It's simple Emotional Logic. Personal A went apeshit. Person A SHOULD have been or WAS in therapy. All other examples we can find of People Going Apeshit, are people who either were in therapy or SHOULD have been going to therapy...

Emotional Logic Conclusion?

PEOPLE IN (OR NEEDING TO GO TO) THERAPY WILL GO APESHIT. THEY ARE DANGEROUS.

So? OBVIOUSLY you? With your little bouts of "sometimes I feel sad" don't need THERAPY(!!!), Force no! You're not a THREAT! Not DANGEROUS! You just get sad sometimes. You manage it! How DARE someone suggest you would Go Apeshit on people!

It's the mixing up of Treatment and Cause. Combined on TOP of Religious Doctrine. It takes a LOT of pressure for people to get past the shame of being unable to Let Go. Because they biologically CAN'T. Because their Crude Matter is somehow STRONGER then their Soul.

They feel like failures. Scared. Helpless. Angry.

All things Jedi pathologically AVOID. So? There is No War In Ba Sing Sei.

Have you tried meditation?

[the---hermit]

This is your daily reminder that if you are going through some stuff emotionally or having a deep existential crisis you need to take time off studying. Studying in those conditions will just make you more tired and won't be productive. Take a day off, get some rest, get better and then when you can actually focus on the things you have to do you can get back yo studying.

[study-core-101]

Friendly Reminder

DONT SACRIFICE YOUR HEALTH FOR A GRADE!!!