#men who are violent with their children are almost always violent with their children's mothers

[toxicroyjamie]

Sorry what's aces? I've never heard of it

Don't be sorry!! "ACEs" stands for adverse childhood experiences. The idea is that there are certain childhood traumas (physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, neglect, alcoholic parents, etc) that significantly increase a person's likelihood of developing mental & physical health problems and ultimately reduce life expectancy when they occur in tandem. There's a test where you add one "point" for each of 10 events a person has experienced and it will give you some idea of how at risk they are for certain health issues and early death. The total is called the "ACEs score". Most Americans (I know they're British but I don't know the data for the UK sorry) have a score of 1, and a score over 6 indicates very high risk. Jamie would have a score of at least 7-8

It's important to note that that's not an absolute, though, just an assessment of statistical risk. People with traumatic childhoods can and do live long and healthy lives, and there are effective interventions + factors that mitigate risk!!

[boymanmaletheshequel]

One facet of Hellenistic and Roman, /Greco Roman paganism that I’ve always found extremely interesting to me, is how inherently human and relatable it’s gods, and their correlating counterparts are, especially when compared to deities in other ancient religions. They are divine, of course, this is made clear enough, but they all have aspects and traits to them that are inherently human. Rage, lust, joy, love, conflict. They represent, if nothing else, key elements of humanity and the human condition, which is something that no other ancient religion I’ve studied quite compares to in the same way. And not only that, but their relationship to people and humans as gods is clearly very symbiotic. They rely on their subjects for their fulfillment, interact with them directly on a regular basis, and often times even respect and revere them as not necessarily always equals, but as at the very least, creatures worthy of their consideration and respect, sometimes even falling in love with, and baring children with them. This is something that doesn’t really happen in any other ancient religion I’ve seen, sure, there are aspects of it in them, but not nearly are they portrayed as objectively or centrally as they are in Hellenism and Roman paganism. Each god represents some aspect of humanity in ways that are inherently non-Devine, Aphrodite is a lover, sometimes desperate to a vulnerable degree you wouldn’t expect a god to be. Dionysus is regularly consumed by madness as a result of his addiction and mental illness, and falls into spirals of depravity that are hauntingly ungodly. Artemis hunts even though she doesn’t need to, she respects her body as a goddess woman just as much as any human woman would, and fights back just as violently as well. Apollo finds much of his joy and happiness through the humans he falls in love with, and faces much of his suffering and sadness through them as well. Persephone fucking dies. maybe not literally in the sense of human, medical death, but absolutely metaphorically, and the grief her mother Demeter experiences is so inherently human, and so shockingly, gut wrenchingly tragic, that it is pretty obvious that this is what her story is meant to represent: a divine allegory for death and grief, an element that so many religions completely separate from their deities. Even Zeus, the primary deity, is a father figure who’s connection and relativity to fatherhood as seen in human men is almost identical. and if it weren’t for the pre-established lore and status of him as a an extremely powerful deity, there are moments in his Mythos where you might even forget that he’s a god, an all powerful, all divine, objectively non human god to begin with. I think it’s what makes Hellenism so emotional and so drawing to me, and to many other pagans, it’s a relationship that is mutual, and relatable, which is an element that is lacking in so many religions, even the major ones like Christianity and Islam. Yes, there are still elements of this in those religions, but it always feels like the stories constantly hammer in the fact that they are divine, so divine, so utterly unrelatable, so inherently disconnected from their subjects and their plights as a superior enitity, that there’s a limit to how connected one can feel to them. In hellenismos, this limit doesn’t seem to exist, and that’s something that makes it so much more personal and fascinating to me than any other religion I’ve studied. The gods are us, and we are the gods. At the end of the day, I think that’s what all religions should be about, and ultimately, are about, wether we realize it or not.

[blasphemousclaw]

...So, thoughts on Marika's lore in SOTE?

I really loved how Marika was fleshed out in the DLC… I’ve always loved when characters have sympathetic motivations, but end up taking things way too far and unleashing their hurt upon the world with dire consequences.

Count Ymir describes Marika and the Two Fingers that guided her as both “defective” and “unhinged from the start,” and says Marika’s bloodline was “tainted,” and “mired in madness.” He blames the “conceits—the hypocrisy—of the world built upon the Erdtree” on Marika’s ascension being fundamentally “unhinged.” I think what he means by this is that Marika ascended to godhood for the purpose of violence — nothing good can come of a deeply hurt and traumatized person taking up the reality-altering power of a god and using it for her own, flawed ends. It’s really interesting to me that Ymir describes Metyr, Mother of Fingers as herself “damaged and unhinged,” and her children, the Two Fingers, as “victims in their own right.” Metyr was long abandoned by the Greater Will… it’s almost like this trauma was passed down from Metyr, to the Two Fingers, who then may have even sympathized with Marika’s own trauma, and chose her as their empyrean… giving her the power to violently lash out at the world with a god’s strength. Then Marika passes this trauma down in turn to her own demigod children in various ways, and we all know how that turned out… it’s like a huge, vicious cycle of trauma passed down through generations.

Ymir comes to the conclusion that the Mother must simply be replaced with someone who will not “give birth to further malady.” However, I would go further than that — I don’t think you can ever have a mortal, who will inevitably have human flaws, ascend to godhood. There is no such thing as a perfect person who will wield godhood with perfect grace (Miquella is proof enough of that). Perhaps no one should claim the power of the gods for themselves? I think this is the theme that the whole game is trying to argue: Goldmask comes to the conclusion that the Golden Order’s “fly in the ointment” is “the fickleness of gods no better than men.” I think this is actually why all the game’s endings are not focused on the gods or demigods, but nearly every one is spearheaded by the Tarnished — with his dying breath, Ansbach pleads, “Righteous Tarnished. Become our new lord. A lord not for gods, but for men.” Yes, Ranni’s ending fits this theme too! She fundamentally makes a change in this cycle, because she abandons the Lands Between with her order… no more god-queens ruling and waging war on earth… no more Marikas.

Anyway I love so much how the DLC expanded Marika’s story and how it perfectly elaborates on all these themes introduced in the base game!!

[blu3-ja3]

What is a mother without violence? Without scorn or ire, hatred or venom? What is a mother who can't protect her young? In nature it's known to never mess with a mother bear when she has cubs, a wolf with her pups, or heifer with her calf. We do not fault a magpie for protecting her nest nor a goose for chasing away children from her nest. For what is a mother without vengeance?

Maevis O'Connor isn't a violent woman, acting first with care and kindness. Even towards the most hardened of soldiers on base, always a gentle hand and soft voice from her. She treats these soldiers, these men who have killed hundreds with precision and ease, with such love and care. She's forgiving almost to a fault, even when they do the same stupid maneuvers over and over again. Rushing head long into dangerous situations. She forgives them and helps them. So when the 141 has to interact with Graves again after Las Almas they were expecting Doc to be the one holding the peace.

Instead Ghost has to grab the second captain and pull her away. As soon as the man appeared in the intelligence tent she lunged towards him ready to murder, almost grabbing him. But Ghost was quick to react, Roach, Gaz, and Soap were stunned and Captain Price moved to hold O'Connor's shoulder.

"Why the hell is he here?" There's venom in her voice, like she plans to kill the man if she was let go of. She was asking towards Laswell but never once took her eyes from Graves. Even as Laswell explained the same stupid shit to her, because a soldier can't be tried as a war criminal if he was given an order from his superior to do so.

"I was just following my orders Captain, surely you understand?" And Soap is the one to react getting right into the man's face breathing heavily with rage in his eyes "Just give me the order Doc, I'll show him what following orders looks like," but Price puts a hand on his shoulder and pulls him away.

It takes a bit for them to get through the briefing with Laswell, even longer to get into gear and onto the boeing. O'Connor just stares daggers into Graves, even as she holds conversation with Soap about him possibly designing her next tattoo to finish her sleeve.

When the mission progresses she's distant and rude towards him but subtly, if you didn't know better it would seem O'Conner was back to her kind-hearted self, but there was subtlety to her venom. It was more so what she didn't do than what she did do, always checking in with the team by name but never checking in with Graves always forcing him give updates on his own.

The mission goes well, only minor scrapes and the worst is a bruise on Gaz from tumbling down a hill while making their way towards extraction. Doc takes care of everyone but never once moving towards Graves, only tossing him a bandage to cover the cut on his cheek.

"Thanks Doc for all the help! Doing a wonder-," Graves voice drips with sarcasm before he's cut off as O'Connor wheels on him. She's right in his face towering over the man forcing him to look up to her, she's only a few inches shorter than Ghost.

"You can make do with what I give you. You're a big boy so deal with it, unless you want me to give you a proper wound for me to tend to? No? Then handle your shit yourself Graves. And never call me Doc, it's either Doctor O'Connor or Captain O'Connor understood boy." O'Connor is quiet but it's even more quiet around them so everyone can hear O'Conner over the comms.

She sits down next to Roach and goes about checking his cuts and scrapes, cleaning and tending to them with such care it nearly gives everyone whiplash.

They land and tell Laswell about the details of the operation and what they recovered. They're given to go ahead and are dismissed to go back to home base. As soon as everyone is out of the tent there's a loud crack as Ghost rounds on Graves throwing punch, hard and fast, to the man's face. Three more to his stomach and gut, each punch punctuated by Ghost's voice.

CRACK! "For Las Almas"

CRACK! "For Alejandro and his men"

CRACK! "For shooting Johnny"

CRACK! "For shooting me"

No one moves to stop Ghost nor to grab Graves as he drops to his knees, face already swelling and spit out some blood and possibly a tooth.

"Captain Price I'll meet you at the yard at 0600 for punishment due to insubordination" Ghost rumbles, satisfaction evident in his voice.

"No need, I'm sure cleaning the mess hall and kitchen with the staff will be plenty of punishment enough... Maevis you may want to check on Graves, he might need some assistance." Price said walking away from the tent.

"Eh the bastards fine, just ice it and don't talk for a day. You'll be doing everyone a favor," She smiles and waves her hand walking off with the rest of 141.

Once back on base O'Connor pulled Ghost and Soap into a hug, saying she's proud of them for not putting the man down like a rabid animal despite how much they probably wanted to. Ghost does end up cleaning the mess and kitchen but with Soap's help.

Roach is the one to approach Doc after dinner, she's in her office reorganizing her many pouches and her main pack.

"Captain? You okay? You seemed pretty angry today, don't think we've seen you so pissed. Not even when you were mad at the Lieutenant," he spoke fast and trailing off, like if he didn't say it all at once she'd send him out.

O'Connor turns to the boy, just holding eye contact with him for a minute before speaking, "You are all my boys and I don't like when you get hurt. I especially don't like when that hurt causes you to wake from terrors in the night. And if there's a person who can be blamed for that hurt I will make their life a living hell." She pauses before saying "I'm sorry if I scared you boys I'll do my best to not get that angry again..."

"No need for that Doc, we were just shocked is all ma'am" Gaz says from behind Roach "It's not often we get to see the Bloody part of Bloody Mother Hen," there's a smile and chuckles from the joke.

For what is a Mother without furry towards those who hurt her young?

COD Master List

[danyseastar]

there’s genuinely no point in taking certain fans of That character seriously because they’ll be the first to purposefully misunderstand the story in order to uplift their own useless fav + any other female character with the slightest bit of autonomy is reduced to a girlboss caricature.

it’s basically the ‘masculine’ vs ‘feminine’ women trope and how all of these women suffer from the same system but some have fought their way towards having basic bodily sovereignty and others have assailed themselves within their circumstances, “you desire not to be free but to make a window in the wall of your prison,” and either perpetuate the abuse they deal with OR sit back and take it like a ‘good’ woman, hence the lack of culpability the stans of said character allow her to be responsible for. the mentality at play here is ‘she is a victim but she cannot possibly ALSO be a victimizer’ but both *can* be true at the same time.

rhaenyra is fighting to be the first ruling queen of westeros, a position that has been set in place before (aerea/rhaenys), but never come to fruition. her heirship has been contested since day one simply on account of her womanhood, not her political prowess or the dubious parentage of her first three sons. this is a fact, and the consequences surrounding her ascension have facilitated a civil war all in the name of the status quo. one side is attempting to honor the wishes of a deceased king, the other wants power, and uses the patriarchal standards already in place to further that goal. this leads to the death of rhaenyra, all but two of her biological children (to her only one survived), her former good mother, her husband, and the assured extinction of dragons.

rhaenyra is looked down upon by a certain portion of this fandom because the concept of protofeminism doesn’t exist to them. the idea that a woman being allowed to take a position of power during the medieval ages might lead to greater precedents involving women’s rights, which is exactly on par with westeros relying on the precedence of male preference primogeniture and the ruling made by the great council of 101ac. rhaenyra, obviously, didn’t make significant changes to women’s positions in westeros because she only ruled for a six month period in king’s landing and was beset by betrayal and treachery consistently during this period.

she was involved in a war that annihilated almost her entire family for the baby step progress of ‘daughters can inherit over sons,’ there was no time to help others when she was losing allies left and right to this very war. cases like the rosby and stokeworth situation are used to back up this take, dispite it being agreed upon rhaenyra verbatim chose to pass over them for fear of losing even more allies AND to protect the girls from being sold to violent misogynistic rapists as war prizes, not just because she believed herself to be the exception to the rule (corlys, in fact, is the one to state this). we also have no definitive proof showwise, either, that she truly believes in the system of men come before women -always- when the only thing said in regard to this is a throwaway line of jacaerys and baela’s sons inheriting the iron throne followed by her stating lucerys and rhaena’s children will inherit the driftwood throne, which is most likely a poor writing choice behind the scenes rather than any concrete proof to the latter.

brave baela, named after her grandsire baelon ‘the brave’ TARGARYEN, daughter of daemon TARGARYEN and laena velaryon, who had TARGARYEN ancestry, granddaughter of rhaenys TARGARYEN ‘the queen who never was,’ rider of the dragon moondancer, identifies completely with her targaryen ancestry and it is an integral part to understanding her character. she is of blood and fire, not salt and sea, and believes driftmark should pass accordingly to someone who corlys would value much more than her, the little girl he’s constantly overlooked on account of her gender.

baela is fighting to put rhaenyra on the throne and in turn jace and herself as the future king/queen. it’s not just for herself or for her stepmother, but for those who have now fallen as well. “i grieve my grandmother who loved me, but i carry her on with me. i will see rhaenyra ascend the iron throne, as rhaenys wished. as rhaenys HERSELF should have.” this cause is bigger than baela, bigger than rhaenyra herself, and baela knows this. yet somehow she’s ‘boring’ and ‘cringe’ in her dialogue or ‘nothing but a cheerleader,’ because she does not carry hatred in her heart for her kin over things they themselves cannot control.

what they have in common is their will, their wants, their ambitions; something that can’t be said for the other character because the writers want her to be a lead but don’t know what to do with her. she’s been relegated to nothing more than her hypocrisy, her self righteousness, her victimhood. she sleeps with a man whilst not married, she takes abortive teas against her religion, she abandons her children in their need for comfort, she’s spat on by the men around her and her own sons when seeking to place herself back into a familiar position of power. this isn’t the first time she’s experienced misogyny, but it is the first time she’s feeling the full ramifications of ridiculing and conspiring against the female claimant redirected at her, on account of the same reasons she took advantage of to propagate herself and her eldest son.

in the grand scheme of things rhaenyra and baela wouldn’t even typically be considered ‘masculine’ women, they’re just outspoken, assertive, and proactive; prone to not taking every bad thing that happens to them without at least some type of their own get back, and it doesn’t revolve around abusing other women to uplift themselves and the men they surround themselves with. which isn’t to say that the ‘feminine’ women’s strifes don’t matter, but to certain stans if they aren’t sitting back and being a pretty passive victim their struggles as a woman don’t count, for whatever reason.

[mushyposts]

I already put this on ao3 in a comment but you made me cry so you have to see it twice now. I know this entire story is Zuko-centric but I literally can't stop thinking about what this au means for Sokka.

Ok I just have to say I felt so heartbroken for Sokka here. All I could think about was how all of a sudden there's a boy in the place he's supposed to be. HE should be travelling with the men, HE should've been with them for the last three years, HE should be trusted enough with all this important stuff he should know if he is the next chief/acting chief.

He is being told this new kid has seen and done things the most skilled of warriors couldn't have done, like he is this almost untouchable standard Sokka can't reach. Then to be told he's taken Sokka's place in the tribe as Hakoda's and Batos' adopted child, teaching him how to be a man over the three years Sokka didn't even know his father, never a letter, never knowing when they would come home. Then being told by that same kid that he was only playing war. not to mention the piercings and jewellery he's adorned with.

Sokka has been the leader of the remnants of the Southern Water Tribe for three years, and due to the strict gender divides, had no one to teach him how to lead in the way a chief would. He has been the one hunting, defending, in charge of the future of their civilisation, the education of the children, which is really important in their culture. the memories of his father would be so twisted to the memories Hadoka has of Sokka. Sokka, in the months before he left, lost his mother, protecting his little sister. he then saw his father fall deep into depression, becoming very detached, and from what is described, angry and violent, not towards him, but that his still scary behaviour to witness. Then, his father left, and he was told he couldn't come, and that he was in charge of the village. Even though it was probably to boost his ego at the time more than anything, the impact on Sokka in that moment, combined into quite literally what his job becoming.

Just imagine when he finds out the secrets Zuko's hiding and how his father and Bato knew and didn't tell him. Sokka has struggled with feeling like he isn't important, as a non-bender and his relations with his sister, her being a prodigy + a bender, and his father, always feeling like he wasn't enough for his dad, not good enough, not smart enough, not needed, but the Zuko's good enough, Hakoda loves him.

Zuko, who has had an incredibly traumatic and difficult childhood, the last three years of his life is where he has found and made a spot for himself in a positive community that loves him and supports him, Sokka has become increasingly more and more isolated, and his sense of self has changed even more dramatically in the last few weeks.

Sorry for the long rant, but I could just feel Sokka's fears and insecurities screaming at me throughout the chapter. Love this work though, just cried for Sokka <3

HIII OH YOU SO GET IT!! OH YOU SOOOO GET IT!! The fic is for SURE Zuko-centric, but I have been intentionally layering on the potential for his arc to align with Sokka's in completely the opposing way. Zuko has everything Sokka wants, he has a space with the crew, the warriors. he spent the last three years with his father and Bato, bonding, developing his identity as a person alongside the tribe, welcomed in, he has gotten to be everything that Sokka has always wanted. Meanwhile, Sokka has everything that Zuko wants. Sokka was home, somewhere safe with people who cared for him and looked up to him, with his sister, away from his parents and in a position where he was in charge of his own life. Its such a twisted, complex situation where the two crave, desperately, what the other has without thinking about the context. Without thinking of what got the other to the point of having what they wanted, both in turn. IM SOOO happy to see someone talking about Sokka ohhhughhh im so fucking happy. I think a lot of people have focused on Sokka's initial attitude towards Zuko, without thinking about every single thing you've brought up in this beautifully constructed comment, of which I am really excited to eventually flesh out when I am back from hiatus. Sokka, more than anything, wants to be a warrior alongside his father. For Zuko, he doesn't think Sokka fully understands the gravity of what that would look like, especially after having experienced such a heavy loss as he had recently. (RIP king im sorry) but for Sokka, he see's a replacement. he doesnt know the nuances, not for lack of intelligence but he just literally hasnt been told and although he is owed explanation he isn't owed Zuko's story in its full, of what led Hakoda and Bato to the decision of keeping him on board. I firmly believe if Zuko had have been older, or had have been a child from any other nation, Hakoda and Bato would have not kept him. I actually go over this a lot in the early chapters where they're deciding wtf to do. It genuinely ended up being a problem of "well. No matter where we put him he's gonna get killed. How fucked up is that, safest place for this kid is LITERALLY on a warship of the enemy. great." I also think acknowledging the fact that Zuko HAS had a lot of support and comfort in the last three years whereas Sokka has not is a super important point to be made! Despite the current circumstances, and the ones that led Zuko to being in the position he is/was, Zuko did have support which Sokka lacked. TBH, if I hadve had more wiggle room and decided to fuck with canon more then I already had, I would have left a good amount of the warriors in the SWT, unlike in canon. Or had Hakoda go back to leave soldiers there when he realised they were going to be gone for longer then what I am assuming was initially planned. However I was more then aware that would SIGNIFICANTLY change the circumstances of Sokka's experiences and how it aligns with Zuko's, in canon and in the fic, so i chose against it. This is such a sporadic messy reply I am just so happy to get a comment picking up on all the stone I've been laying for a big discussion on the details of Sokka's own trauma and how its going to clash with Zuko's.

All this to say, Sokka will absolutely be getting his turn to hash out everything you've said here and I can promise you no stone will be left unturned when it comes to his trauma and life experiences!! I think a big thing I am most excited for is having the two hash it out and realise where their lives overlap, where their feelings and experiences align and managing to acknowledge that each others traumas dont cancel each other out. Zuko's experiences do not cancel out Sokka's, and Sokka's do not cancel out Zuko's.

[septembriseur]

From Stanley Cohen's States of Denial:

My earliest memory that could be called ‘political’ goes back to a winter night in Johannesburg in the mid-nineteen-fifties. I must have been twelve or thirteen. My father was away from home for a few days on business. Like many South African middle-class families (especially Jewish and anxious ones), we employed for these rare occasions a ‘Night Watch Boy’: that is, an adult black man – in this case an old Zulu (I vividly remember the wooden discs in his ear lobes)– working for a private security company. Just before going to bed, I looked out of the window and saw him huddled over a charcoal fire, rubbing his hands to keep warm, the collar of his khaki overcoat turned up. As I slipped into my over-warm bed– flannel sheets, hot water bottle, thick eiderdown brought by my grandmother from Poland– I suddenly started thinking about why he was out there and I was in here.

My mother always used to tell me that I was ‘over-sensitive’. This must have been my over-sensitivity at work, an inchoate feeling not exactly of guilt– this came later�� but that something was wrong. Why did this old man have to sit out in the cold all night? Why had our family (and everyone like us) been allocated black men and women (who were called ‘boys’ and ‘girls’ or just ‘natives’) as domestic servants? Why did they live in tiny rooms in the backyard? Where were their wives, husbands and children? Why did they address me as ‘baas’, or ‘master’?

I don’t remember what I did with my bedroom epiphany. Almost certainly, I just dropped off to sleep. But later, even when I began to think sociologically about apartheid, privilege, injustice and racism, I would still return to some version of that early psychological unease. I saw this unease– correctly, I believe– as arising from a sense of knowing that something was deeply wrong, but also knowing that I could not live in a state of permanent awareness of this knowledge. Without my deliberate intention, this awareness would switch itself on or, more often, off. There might be weeks or months of blindness, amnesia and sleepwalking. Political education – later called ‘consciousness raising’ – made these phases less frequent, just as it should do.

Later, I started asking another question, one that I still discuss with people who grew up with me. Why did others, even those raised in similar families, schools and neighbourhoods, who read the same papers, walked the same streets, apparently not ‘ see ’ what we saw? Could they be living in another perceptual universe – where the horrors of apartheid were invisible and the physical presence of black people often slipped from awareness? Or perhaps they saw exactly what we saw, but just didn’t care or didn’t see anything wrong....

...By this time, my obsession appeared from an unexpected direction. In 1980, I left England with my family to live in Israel. My vintage sixties radicalism left me utterly unprepared for this move. Nearly twenty years in Britain had done little to change the naïve views I had absorbed while growing up in the Zionist youth movement in South Africa. It soon became obvious that Israel was not like this at all. By the 1982 invasion of Lebanon, I was already disenchanted with the liberal peace movement in which I thought I belonged. I drifted into what in Israeli terms is the ‘far left ’ – the margins of the margins.

I also became involved in human rights issues, particularly torture. In 1990,I started working with Daphna Golan, the Research Director of the Israeli human rights organization, B’Ttselem, on a research project about allegations of torture against Palestinian detainees. Our evidence of the routine use of violent and illegal methods of interrogation was to be confirmed by numerous other sources. But we were immediately thrown into the politics of denial. The official and mainstream response was venomous. Liberals were uneasy and concerned... Yet there was no outrage. Soon a tone of acceptance began to be heard. Abuses were intrinsic to the situation; there was nothing to be done till a political solution was found; something like torture might even be necessary sometimes; anyway, we don’t want to keep being told about this all the time.

This apparent normalization seemed difficult to explain. The report had an enormous media impact: graphic drawings of standard torture methods were widely reproduced, and a taboo subject was now discussed openly. Yet very soon, the silence returned. Worse than torture not being in the news, it was no longer news. Something whose existence could not be admitted, was now seen as predictable...

...It was natural to make the claustrophobic assumption that this problem was unique because Israel was uniquely horrible. Luckily our visitors from the international human rights community reminded us that the problem was universal. They were interested in information circulating in the international arena. How did audiences in North America or Western Europe react to knowledge of atrocities in East Timor, Uganda or Guatemala? I started imagining a nice thirty- something couple sitting, with their breakfast coffee and croissants, in New York, London, Paris or Toronto. They pick up the morning news- paper: ‘Another Thousand Tutsis Massacred in Rwanda’. In the mail plop two circular letters, one from Oxfam: ‘While you are eating your breakfast, ten more children starve to death in Somalia’, and one from Amnesty: ‘While you are eating your lunch, eight street-children are killed in Brazil’. What does this ‘news ’ do to them, and what do they do to the news? What goes through their minds? What do they say to each other?

[quillkiller]

Hi, I love your blog, and please I would love to see you talk more about Walburga, I always found her a very interesting character, but there's almost nothing about her

hi!! thank you!! 💞

i love walburga so much, i think she’s so interesting. i think people forget that she was a woman in the 70s, and a girl in the 60s. to be clear, i don’t think she’s a redeemable character, especially not as an adult, but i do still think she’s a victim. <- two things can be true and everything isn’t as simple as black and white.

she’s painted as the main villain of the noble and most ancient house of black, but people forget she’s a woman. in the seventies!!! realistically, walburga held no power what so ever, was married off to orion against her will, and under orions control. she gave orion sons and an heir and did her duties as a wife. she’s a victim turned abuser. <- she simply didn’t break the cycle of abuse, tale old as time, etc. she’s been powerless her entire life, so she takes it out on her children.

me and kara talked about walburga a bit when we started talking about the bellareg marriage, and like, in the grand scheme of things, walburga isn’t really anything. she’s such a small pawn in such a large game, a game ruled by powerful pureblood men. she was born a daughter, something to be dealt with and bartered with, and ends up at the hands of a husband like her father. <- i wrote a bit about this in my bellareg oneshot. me and kara said that we think bellatrix grew up idolizing walburga, because despite being small in the grand scheme of things, she can appear so scary and violent. but as bellatrix gets older she loses more and more respect for walburga. she realises that she really is just a submissive and obedient wife, on a tight leash held by her husband. walburga doesn’t have ambitions that stray outiside being a wife and producing an heir. like, at the end of the day, walburga really is just a wife and a mother.

walburga’s abuse is allowerd because orion is the one to allow it. he’s the puppet master, the only one with an actual say-so in his family and with his sons. i’ve said it before when i’ve talked about how walburga is treated like the Main Villain, but a silent man (of the house) will always scare me more than a wife ’acting out’. orion is a man, and it’s bonkers to me that people don’t recognize that he’s the main villain and main abuser in the black household. he’s literally a massively powerful pureblood man in the seventies and people want to act like he’s somehow scared of walburga ??? (<- a take ive seen multiple times lmao). like genuinely, WHAT is walburga going to do to him. she’s powerless in her own marriage. even a disowned sirius is more powerful than she’ll ever be. even regulus, the spare, is more powerful than she’ll ever be. because they’re men.

to sirius, she’s a monster. he’s simply not able to humanize her (to me), and nor should he have to. she quite genuinely is his abuser and his own devil, and i don’t think he necessarily recognizes that the main villain of his upbringing is his father. <- not that he doesn’t hate his father too and thinks of him as his abuser. but to me, walburga is his actual devil. his monster under the bed, more frequent im his nightmares than his father. and like, yeah. that’s so understandable, and i don’t think that’s like the wrong opinion of him to have lmao. it’s never up to the abused to forgive and/or understand his abuser. like i said at the very top, walburga is irredeemable. when she becomes an adult the abuse becomes a choice, and she didn’t break the cycle. <- i wrote a bit about this, and how shocked sirius is to see walburga as a person with feelings, in my grief microfic.

reg, however, is able to humanize his mother. me and kara talked briefly about the spare & wife parallells and how that’s why he’s able to see her as a person. laurie @/itsjaywalkers reblogged a post a million years ago that said something like ’i wish they would invent a mother who wants to be saved’ <- and that’s how regulus sees his mother, i think. regulus knows what it’s like to be powerless, to be a shadow, to be less. but his mother doesn’t want to be saved, and so regulus doesn’t want to be saved. i’ve always thought that sirius is more like orion and regulus is more like walburga. <- and that’s also why walburga loves sirius more, and why she can’t stand regulus. it’s also part of a lot of conflict between the black brothers, the fact that sirius can’t humanize walburga and regulus can’t help but humanize her.

anyway! yeah, walburga is irredeemable & and abuser but at the same time she’s also a victim. people can be, and often are, both. it doesn’t mean she should be forgiven. i’ve talked lots here on quillkiller dot tumblr dot com how much it infuriates me when abusers are painted as evil heartless monsters that simply can’t help it because its ’in their nature’ or because they were ’born evil’ <- that’s simply just not how people and/or abuse works. abusers are people who chose to do that to you, who have feelings and lives and relationships and a past. it’s never as simple as black or white ! there’s nuance everywhere, babey

[toxicroyjamie]

I always feel like people over look the physical abuse Jamie probably faced. We’ve seen just a glimpse of what James would do in public, imagine what it was like when Jamie was young and behind closed doors.

Plus like literally almost killing Beard?? Like he and his friends are seriously scary and probably did a lot of damage to Jamie. 😕😕

I know :(( people don't understand how serious and terrifying domestic violence is

And YES thank you. Beard After Hours was such a horrific and enlightening glimpse into how violent and scary James can really be. The way he said "goodnight, son" before trying to bash Beard's skull in with a tire iron actually gave me chills. It's terrifying that he's capable of murder regardless, but the implication that he was thinking about killing Jamie is just. Sick

We too easily gloss over how SCARED Jamie is of James, also. It's not like he just thinks he's a dick or a bully, he's ACTIVELY terrified of him. In Mom City, he describes James as "fucking terrifying" and says it "really freaks him out" that he can't see him in the stands. James isn't just an asshole, he's a very real and present threat to Jamie's safety, and Jamie fully knows that.

Georgie has also never been at a single one of Jamie's matches, including the match in Mom City (at which point they had an actress cast for Jamie's mother and could've easily shown her in the stands) and the World Cup (at which the audience was offscreen and could've easily included Jamie's mom) despite clearly being a very devoted and loving mother. There's obviously something keeping her away from Jamie's matches, and I think it's more than likely a fear of James. Most men who abuse their children abuse their children's mothers. :(

All this to say, yes, James is actually terrifying and physically dangerous and I think everyone (including the show runners) just kind of forgets that

[l-e-i-n-t-h]

Me judging every character in HOTD

I read the book in 2019, and even then I was Team Black and believed many of the things depicted in the book could be propaganda or deformations cause I happen to be a historian and it's not that uncommon. I'm also 39 and no longer believe in pretty privilege. I've been in tumblr for more than 12 years and I've seen rivers of ink (or bits) flow trying to excuse or overanalyze the actions of all sorts of male characters because they happen to be played by beautiful faces. I've done it myself, but I'm too old for it now.

As a good historian I already declared my biases, so here I go with the characters:

Alicent is a bad mother. Her motherhood wasn't desired nor joyful, so it's understadable but it does affect the way her children are. Viserys was also quite neglectful, due to his health and his personal flaws. Alicent's family reeks of generational trauma, and it's not a surprise coming from such a cold and manipulative patriarch as Otto, who didn't even want to hear his daughter's troubles. As I saw in another post, all of Team Green is touch deprived: they need each other's arms but they don't hug each other as they long for.

I don't give a rat's ass about Alicent's sins. Sin away, woman, and enjoy.

I do slut shame Criston Cole cause I enjoy despising him. Being the genuine murderer he is, slut shaming is just a very small fraction of what he deserves. I see him as one of those guys that resent a girl for rejecting them and then go on to commit mass murder, blaming her for it. I'm not in love with him so I don't excuse nothing of him, specially sending ser Arryk to his death so stupidly and hypocritically.

Aegon is a bad king, who enjoys cruelty not at the level Joffrey did, but to a certain point, considering he raped a girl and celebrated his nephew's death with a feast. Another pretty face I'm immune to.

Helaena is a sweet angel. I miss Blood and Cheese tha way it happened on the book, but the result is pretty much the same.

I already talked about Otto, and we all know Larys Strong is a thousand times worst.

Aemond has always been a little psycho. He was bullied by his brother and nephews, but there's something else to a child who almost smashes the head of a boy 4 years younger than him with a rock. His scene in the brothel makes a lot of sense, and the fact that he believes Daemon is afraid of him is just... hilarious.

Speaking of Daemon, that's another pretty face that doesn't move me in the least. He's an asset for his team, probably the best warrior in the entire show, but he's also unpredictable, violent, irascible and not much of a good father or husband. Matt and Emma have chemistry, but their characters' ship doesn't give me feels, only red flags. Daemon is a walking red flag, the only maladjusted person in Team Black right now.

Team Black is family. They do touch each other. The parallel between Alicent being unable to console her child and Rhaenyra interrupting her son's teary eyed report to embrace him is sublime. Rhaenyra enjoys being a mom, loves her children dearly, and expresses it.

Rhaenyra does suffer a lot. In like ten days she loses her father, her daughter, her throne, her son, her trust in her husband, and sees a brave man off himself in front of her. I think that she is well adjusted, or at least as well as you could expect of a Targaryen in the GOT universe. She loves freely, she grieves as she needs and doesn't choke on her tears, trying to keep a facade. She hasn't become cruel yet.

Team Black's council passes the Bechdel test, and I find it so refreshing. Rhaenys and Corlys make for the perfect power couple, and the fact that Alyn and Adam of Hull are grown men gives me hope their conception wasn't a blemish on that marriage, cause in the book it was.

Rhaenys is the second most powerful asset in Team Black and she's just SO GREAT. I enjoy tremendously the way she doesn't walk on egg shells around Daemon.

Ultimately, if you're in doubt, ask yourself which team do the Starks of Winterfell support. That's all you need to know.

Disclaimer: love whatever character you want, and write whatever meta gives you feels and joy. I just think it's funny, when the episode just arrives, the tag is full of kind of what actually happened, but a few days after it, it's full of metas oozing with love for toxic male characters and eternal hate for the writers for doing murder baby wrong. A character doesn't need to be moral to be enjoyable, though I understand the appeal for having both.

Damn I was young and less asexual once, I swear XD

[nephilimcursed]

Admin Bubble: The way I made Bella's children with the boys even though she doesn't live to have children-

Vasia (Reiji's daughter)

-Our firstborn! -Oldest daughter, she's very sweet and well mannered but she does know how to let loose when needed. -Has her mother's golden eyes, like the rest of her siblings. -Becomes the 8th parent when all of her fathers and her mother is busy with another sibling and another needs help.

Ayato [Junior] (Ayato's son)

-Second oldest, but acts just like his father. -Love basketball, but has never been able to top Ayato. Someday he will. -Terrorizes Vasia, and his parents with non-stop pranks. -He was named Ayato Juinor by Ayato. The nurse came in with the paperwork while everyone was asleep after the tiring experience. And Ayato signed the paperwork while putting his name down as Ayato Juinor. The other guys were pissed when they woke up-

Minerva (Laito's daughter)

-The most sweet and innocent out of the bunch, miraculously. Laito really doesn't want her to ever become less innocent. -She loves fall, she always has. She especially loves drinking hot chocolate and back-to-school season. -She knows French, Laito taught her very young. They speak it when it's a sensitive topic or they just want to talk without people listening. -Is the daydreamer of the bunch.

Rhett (Subaru's son)

-Inherited his dad's emo gene. -Became a Shadowhunter just like his mother. But in this, The Clave doesn't exist anymore, so he works without anyone telling him what to do. -He loves rock music like his dad. -Learned self-defense from both his mother and father. Now he goes over things with his siblings every once in a while to make sure they stay safe.

Katherine (Reijis daughter)

-Kathy is a bit childish, but she adores pretty and expensive-looking things.

-Bit of a klutz, but her father loves her. Reiji sees her as a girl who needs a lot of work to turn into a lady. But he still loves her as she's his youngest child. -Katherine is named after Bella's middle name: Bella Katherine Wayland. -Kanato is also very accustomed to her, even if she isn't his blood child.

Evangeline-(Kanatos daughter)

-Eva was named by Kanato, and he chose that name because Bella (in this universe) almost died giving birth to Eva. And Evangeline means "bringer of good news". [The good news being Bella and his child survived.]

-Loves San Rio, especially Kuromi. -Kanato treats her a lot like his doll too. But in a more platonic way, of course. -Is the most fashionable of the bunch.

Ambrose-(Shuus son)

-He is a super energetic boy. -The only thing that leaves him calmer is writing music, which he does with his father sometimes. -He's always doing something- almost like Kid!Shuu. -He's very empathetic, although he doesn't know how to healthily press someone for information so he pesters a lot.

Leila-(Subarus Daughter)

-Leila is an acrobat, yes. -Subaru also supports it until he finds out this makes her sexualized and objectified by men. -Her favorite sibling is Eva, so they hang out a lot. -She's a little too confident, which nobody knows how she got that confidence. But she's the type to trust herself completely.

Basil-(Kanato's son)

-Basil loves to make candy, much to his father's happiness. -However, he can be compared to Kanato in terms of difficulty. He is very easy to upset. Although he doesn't get violent. He'll just guilt you into getting what he wants. -Kanato may have taught him a few of his tricks. -He gets along with Eva fairly well, considering they both share their fathers purple hair.

Rowan-(Shuu's son)

-Rowan is a lot like his father, but he isn't exactly bored of life. He's just a cute kid who prefers his dream land. -Loves his bed more than anything. -Is very close with Vasia. -He's the youngest, but he'll say something so nasty sometimes- Reiji has told Shuu to wash his mouth out with soap but Shuu thinks he's fucking hilarious so he just tells him not in front of Reiji.

[autumn-foxfire]

Up to movie 22! I can't believe I'm almost at 23, the best DC movie. But I still have this one to get through first.

Of course Shinichi knows the record for the highest a drone can fly. The king of weird facts.

It's too early in the movie for you two to look pretty. Not fair.

We're starting off with a very violent explosion I see.

Or, Agasa, you should tecach the children to take turns like a normal person would.

Well that isn't good news for Amuro. If Ai noitced, you know that the BO did too. Is this going to have BO involvement?

The synopsis did say Kogoro was framed. I have to wonder how they managed to achieve that, however.

She deserves the world. Gosho, you should give her the world.

This episode shows you why the police aren't your friends. Also why is Ran calling Shinichi and NOT ERI. ONE OF THEM IS A LAYWER AND HER MOTHER.

This movie already is getting on my nerves.

Shinichi, Amuro has always been your adversary. He almost fucked up your plan with Akai for a personal grudge. He almost got Ai killed (someone you said you would protect with your life). I'm sorry, but I really hate how lightly Shinichi treats Amuro when other people have gotten his scorn for less actions.

Finally, Ran remembered her mother is a lawyer and went to her. Who she should have gone to first but we gotta push the bad romance~

Awww, thank you Agasa for reminding Shinichi not to take it out on Ai.

Ran, trust your mother's judgement. She is the lawyer. She knows what she's doing.

So Nasa is known as Nazu in DCMK.

Honestly, I think they should let Shinichi be more pissed off.

LMAO I do love Azusa shutting down Amuro's comment about being a good wife. She's not for it. She only cares about profits.

Shinichi, you should recognize the "I'm just going to the toilet" excuse for what it is. This is just embarrassing for you.

Does this man not change his suit?

Shinichi, why are you admitting your crimes to a police officer? Your lucky he won't do anything about it but what you just did was a crime that could get you in a lot of shit.

Shinichi isn't even bothering to be "shinichi" to tell the truth.

Ran don't get flustered about that. If Shinichi is a decent person, he would do this without any connection. Also Shinichi can you fucking NOT insult Ran. It's not playful when you do it to her because you're an ass to her and you genuinely do treat her like an idiot who doesn't deserve to know as much as you do.

Sorry, I'm just realising why I don't see many people talk about this film unlike the others.

Shinichi entered the matrix.

Pile ups are becoming common in Detective Conan movies.

Of course Ran is where the danger is. Can't have a movie without her being a damsel in distress who needs to be saved by Shinichi!

CAN WE FUCKING NOT. Sorry I'm throwing up because they're also making Eri a school girl whose blushing over being protected by Kogoro (who is also in danger but is calm because the men get to be cool).

I'm sure this tall place won't be in any danger at all. None at all :)

I wonder if these public security know that they're using children to fly a drone to "defend this country".

"I tried to ruin a family for my petty revenge." God this movie is fully of bad people, isn't it. Amuro and her would get on great though.

Imagine being a part of this evacuation though. You were told to go somewhere safe and then the police go "lol we made a mistake, this place is where the actual danger is".

Genuinely, I really hate the contrived danger they put Ran in so they can have Shinichi be all worried about her and not the thousands of other lives in danger as well.

Give a cheer for Amuro's car, the true MVP in this movie.

Fuck. Off.

Shinichi: Do you have a girlfriend, Amuro?

Amuro: Shinichi, I'm gay, just like you.

Shinichi: I'm what?

They're being very obnoxious with the "Ran"s this movie, aren't they.

LMAO I find it kind of funny how pushed the romance was this movie and they just showed the conclusion in the ending credits which was just Shinichi going "Oh, glad you're alright."

[randomly--accessed--memories]

Is Alastor aware of Vox’s children - specifically his daughter?

Personally I interpret that Vox was probably a parent who played favorites [unintentional or intentional] and assuming his relationship with his son was likely strained - Vox gave his daughter more attention & affection. Making the memories pop in a bittersweet way.

I could see Alastor being conflicted, depending on if he knew about Vox’s children before he reduced his former friend turned enemy to static. Alastor assuming he was a terrible father [easy assumption because it’s… Vox lol] and feeling so disgusted with a man who already fell into his distaste. We know Alastor’s daddy issues, I can’t imagine him being comfortable with a [absent father at best, neglectful & emotionally abusive father at worst] around unless he were his little plaything.

I can think of so many ways Alastor could torture Vox psychologically with this knowledge. Gaslighting Vox into thinking a porcelain doll is actually his baby, allowing him to get attached to said doll for a while — only to shatter it right in front of him.

“Oh! Well, you can always make a new one! Haha!”

Alastor’s pettiness levels are 100% showing here as the mentality of “replacing the old with the new” that Vox used to spout out constantly is being used — in reference to his “baby”.

Of course Vox is absolutely distraught, feebly sputtering and trying to pick up the broken pieces of the doll before quickly devolving into pure rage.

“I trusted you! She’s my daughter!”

Alastor is merely grinning, laughing even. Right at Vox’s face. Vox is cursing him out using every word in the book, get violent almost immediately - and if any of the hotel residents are there all Hell will break loose.

Alastor could also just say “Oh she’s dead.” Anytime Vox asks where his daughter is… that’s a lot simple than what I just wrote lol.

But yeah neat little scenario I wanted to explore, I absolutely love love love this AU!! Everything is so well-written and thought out! I hope I didn’t write Alastor too evil, or Vox too pathetic(?) :p

- 🐚

OH JEEZ

Yeah, Vox was... not a great dad. He just wasn't around most of the time and saw his role as breadwinner as the only thing he really needed to do in order to be a Good Father��. He loved his kids in his own, self-absorbed way, but just wasn't involved with them in any meaningful manner. He was never abusive towards them but still managed to traumatize them through the constant, vicious arguments he would get into with their mother. You're right though, he did prefer Sarah (his younger child) to Thomas (his elder child) quite a bit, and she ended up with far more fond memories of him because of it.

Alastor is vaguely aware that Vox was a father when he was alive, but never felt any desire to delve into that aspect of his life. Vox lowkey compulsively overshares with the people he'd attracted to and Alastor ended up learning a lot more about Vox than he really wanted to back when they were friends. I'd never thought about how he would feel about what kind of father Vox was though– that's an interesting concept.

My HC backstory for Alastor is that he was born out of wedlock and never knew his biological father. At age 6, he and his mother left his grandparents' house and moved in with his mother's white cousin and her husband, who agreed to pretend Alastor (who was white-passing) was their son in exchange for his mother working as their maid. When Al was 11, he caught a glimpse of his mother having sex with his "adoptive father"– he'd threatened to kick her and Alastor out of the house if she didn't agree to sleep with him. He grew to loathe the man and eventually smothered him to death while he was recovering from the Spanish Flu that had swept through the house and claimed his mother's life.

With that context, I don't think Alastor would begrudge Vox for being a neglectful father that much since he just sort of sucked in a way that most men from that time period sucked. He'd see Vox's memories of his children in a similar way as he sees Vark; irrelevant and harmless, but a weak point he could easily exploit if he felt it was necessary.

The concept of the doll is fucking brutal. Al would probably be aware of how easily Vox projects memories of Sarah onto various people/things since it happens occasionally with Niffty, but I think that'd be a type of torment restricted to when he's feeling especially sadistic for whatever reason. Alastor thinks of himself as having standards, although he's willing to bend on some of them if he can think of a good justification and already wants to do it. So yeah, basically Vox's kids are off-limits until they're Not anymore.

Thank you for the compliments! I'm glad you're enjoying it! I really appreciate long, elaborate scenarios like this; they give me a chance to talk about so many different things and get me to consider elements that I hadn't previously thought of.

[iheartpeppino]

Pizza My Heart AU Presents: The Spaghetti Family

Giuseppe "Peppino" Spaghetti I - The founder of Peppino's Pizza, he's Peppino and Maurice's father. A hard-working pizza chef who was very passionate about his Italian heritage and his craft, as well as passing on his knowledge to his children. He was known for having a kind personality. He died of heart failure when Peppino was almost 30 years old.

Donna Spaghetti - Peppino and Maurice's mama, a strikingly beautiful old lady in her 70's who's always down for excitement even at her age. Ever since her husband died, Donna has had a very active love life, going on dates with quite a number of men, some older than her, some younger. Peppino worries about his mama a lot, but Donna can more than handle herself, being an actual badass at fighting and self-defense. If you see old Donna Spaghetti taking off her earrings? RUN.

Giuseppe "Peppino" Spaghetti II - Our favorite anxious pizza chef, the current owner and operator of Peppino's Pizza. He was named after his father... or did he name himself after his father? Guess it depends on what version of the AU it is! Either way, Peppino turned out to be a lot like his dad, just with a lot more anxiety, PTSD and anger, and a worse economy to deal with. He also inherited his mother's fighting spirit.

Maurizio "Maurice" Spaghetti - Peppino's pessimistic, selfish, violent, and constantly angry twin brother who's been jealous of him since they were children. Because Peppino wanted to be just like their dad growing up, Maurice feels his father treated Peppino like the favorite child, so Maurice constantly bullies Peppino for his entire life. The worst thing he did was throw his Stargate DVD collection into a river. THE ENTIRE STARGATE COLLECTION ON DVD IS WORTH OVER $100 USD (yes, really!). FUCK YOU, MAURICE.

Alfredo "Freddy" Spaghetti - The third Spaghetti brother, known for wearing red, he's five years younger than Peppino and Maurice. A professional chef, he's employed at the fanciest Italian restaurant in town. Despite being very skilled, he can't make pizza to save his life, having extraordinarily bad luck with it. He envies Peppino for his natural pizza-making skills and the fact he owns his own business... even though Freddy makes way more money than Peppino does and has a better quality of life. Despite it all, Freddy does care about Peppino, and worries about him a lot, even if he thinks his friends are weirdos.

Gianna Spaghetti - The fourth and final Spaghetti sibling. A woman in her early 40's, Gianna is a punk who loves creepy and scary things and hates cute things. Apparently, anything cute makes her immediately want to smash it to pieces. She has no love for her older brothers since they were all too absorbed in their own lives to pay much attention to her growing up. She lives with Donna and helps take care of her. (Gianna is directly inspired by Giana from The Great Giana Sisters.)

Angela Spaghetti - Maurice's ex-wife, mother of Maurice Jr. Strongly resembles a young Bea Arthur, with mannerisms similar to Dorothy Zbornak from The Golden Girls. Angela kept her ex-husband's surname even after divorcing him because she still loves the rest of Maurice's family and encourages their son to maintain relationships with them. Angela regrets ever marrying Maurice and frequently refers to him as "a sorry bum with a gambling addiction whom I honestly pity". Her mother's name is Maria, who strongly resembles and acts like Sophia Petrillo from The Golden Girls.

Maurice Spaghetti Jr. - Maurice's ten-year-old son with Angela. Maurice Jr. is actually a very sweet and well-adjusted kid thanks in large part to his mom, but his dad is a deadbeat who doesn't spend time with him unless he's specifically asked to. Maurice tries to make up for his lack of parenting skills by buying expensive gifts for his son... or worse, passing off gifts from other people as if they were from him. Which includes gifts from Peppino. Maurice Jr. has no idea... he loves his dad, but he wishes he'd actually be a dad to him and not just an occasional gift-dispenser.

Nonna Spaghetti - Peppino and Maurice's very elderly grandmother on their father's side. Maurice has taken advantage of this poor lady multiple times by manipulating her into giving him money to spend on his gambling habit. Peppino knows about this, but feels powerless to do anything about it since he's afraid Maurice will retaliate against him. Nonna doesn't always remember what day it is... or even what year it is... but she loves her family members unconditionally and would do anything for them.

I wanted to wait to post this after drawing portraits of everyone, but I'm too impatient for that. I'll draw everyone when I actually have the energy to do so.

[under-clouds-and-stars]

a friend of mine killed herself because she couldnt get an abortion after being raped.

assuming that this is true, I am sorry for you, your friend, and her baby. I will pray for all three.

what she needed was help. whether her fears were purely psychological for fear of bearing her rapist's child, lack of physical resources, or even social stigma, all of which are perfectly valid fears, abortion still cannot be justified. now, tragically, both she and her child are dead, but that is not the fault of pro-life laws. it is the fault of those who put her in that situation, and those who left her there.

abortion being as normalized as it is and treated as just a woman's choice leads to society not having adequate protection and aid for desperate women. the amount of men who feel just A OK leaving the mother of their child because "that's her choice" and "she has options" manifest to that fact. just because a state has killed the root of the problem from its laws, doesn't mean that society as a whole is caught up.

lack of mental help and resources cause deaths like hers. not to mention the incessant scare tactics of the abortion industry that convince women that single motherhood is hell a/o that putting a child up for adoption is cruel. they do this in addition to demonizing pregnancy centers that almost always offer 10x more effective support than anything they have to offer these poor women.

even if it was solely a lack of being able to disassociate the child from the monster who hurt her, which is most likely not her fault that she felt that way, that still does not justify giving a baby a death sentence. rape victims need help and support, but one's need for help and support do not override the fundamental rights of others, least of all the right to life. and no, it is no way similar to self defense. a baby being in their mother's womb is the most natural thing in the world. the body is designed to adapt to it. a fetus are not parasitic or violent, and the external feelings of the mother about them cannot change these scientific facts, no matter how understandable they are. a rapist assaults, an unborn baby does not, and using someone's dependence on you for support as a reason for killing them is inherently eugenic and ableist.

i have loved ones who have been sexually abused and hurt. friends who struggle with providing for their children in section 8 housing on disability. i am under no illusions about the tragedy and pain of these situations.

abortion is still never justified. ever.

a fetus is a person, just as much as an infant is. just as much as your friend was. science and the vast majority of abortionists agree. i don't care if some people philosophically disagree with that, they can't force their beliefs about life onto another person.

i cannot judge your friend's heart or state of mental clarity when she decided to end her and her baby's life. but nothing can make what she did ok. if she was genuinely out of her mind when she did this, the way to stop further cases like hers is an improvement in access to mental help, which i am all for. but we cannot, nor should we try to secure the rights of any part of humanity by depriving another part of theirs.

[see-arcane]

Of Debt and Death

And a dream that flows between them like a river.

Ao3 link here

“Centuries. Centuries he has been doing this.”

Jonathan looks up. He doesn’t remember how he got here. A moment ago he was sinking. Or was it floating? Either way, he drowned. Smothered. There is a certainty now as there was before that the Count is near. The closeness of him in Piccadilly had struck a deep and profound cord in him even in the crowd. Now that cord is an entire hellish violin playing until it screeches.

Here! He is here! Up, go, hurry!

But there was only the drowning. The sweet-bitter crush of a blanket around a strengthless babe who kicks and struggles to no avail.

Then, suddenly, here. The boat.

The ferryman has his back to him, hood drawn up against a frigid mist. Black shores hint at themselves through the fog.

“He has done this for almost half a millennium. Did you ever suspect as much in the castle, even with his dust-choked riches? An old monster, surely, but not ancient. Surely he couldn’t be. The people knew him. The people feared him. The people knew then all that the professor had to scrape from a library. You would not have lasted were it not for them and their holy icons, their gifts and knowledge. They know what it is to slay his kind.”

Still though he is, something thrashes violently in Jonathan’s heart. Wanting, needing, fighting to move. To be aware.

The Count is here.

Somewhere close. Near enough to touch. Jonathan eyes the mist warily.

“Do you truly think none have tried what you and your little pack mean to attempt in so many hundreds of years of horror under his reign? None at all? In times of war, in hours of bereft madness, they tried. Lances before the stake, sword before the saw. They tried. The most he lost were new conscripts and his temper. Ash to flesh, mist to teeth. He came back. Through steel and Cross and fire, he has always come back. And taught grave lessons to his enemies each time. He means to teach you all the same. Only he will not waste you on mere slaughter.”

Figures move on the black shore now. Watching them pass. Hazy as they are, Jonathan knows them all. Children. A mother. Sailors. Lucy’s wedding band glints as she waves.

“He will not let you go, Jonathan Harker. If he must lose any of the other jackals in potentia, you will still go on to suffer him. Through her. Through the cudgel he means to make of her and your heart. You have cost him too much to go free and he will have you bowed and bloodied at his feet. You may yet let him for her sake. Once he lures you back. All of you, so sure, so prepared, will lope after him to the genius loci, his realm of power. The land that worked against you from every angle, every muscle of Nature and Supernature. And there you will all do worse than die.”

Let me go. Please, something is wrong, I know it, I know the Count is close, he has done something, he is doing something, I need to go—

 “Oh, yes. He has, he is, he shall do worse. God has not seen fit to stop him in four hundred years. He left humanity a few holy tin shields and wished you all luck. And when the Devil’s best student marks a soul to be his in eternity, he shrugs and lets the game go on with a lenience to make Mephistopheles seem a prude. Both will burn you, burn her, as they have burned untold victims in the past. Which is all to say that you will do as all the men and women of history have done when pitted against him.”

The mist thins. What had been a sparse milling of figures now revealed itself as a legion. Dead faces staring out at the river in an endless menagerie of souls reduced to cattle.

“You will lose. Because you are only what all his enemies have been before, what he sold his own soul to conquer unfettered. Mortal meat waiting for the butcher. If you want to win, to save her as more than a lifeless corpse or a mobile one, you must be something other than that same heroic chattel.”

I am no Faust.

“Nor could you be if I desired someone worth making the offer. I may not have time to rest on my laurels, but I have counted him as a nuisance not worth bothering with so long as he kept to his mountains. There are so few of his kind that make true trouble. But now he means to play a global tyrant. England is only the first step. Its colonies will follow. Its neighbors after them. The world is a throat and he is the tick who wishes to drink it dry. If God and the Devil consider Earth forfeit to laissez-faire, it falls to us and our like to do the work of seeing him pay a toll long overdue. So, to you I make my offer. To make you something else. To make yours what is mine. To end what should have ended on a battleground lifetimes ago.”

Jonathan rights himself on the boat. The river is leading into a cave vaster and more lightless than the void between stars. He tries not to stare at it, to focus on the back of the ferryman’s hood.

I will make no promise I do not understand the facets of. I will not be trapped again by details never given to me.

“As is wise. But desperation ever makes decisions on our behalf, Jonathan Harker. Your choice will be no airy whim. It will simply be the only choice to make. I do apologize for that. Gods and devils are not alone in rigging their games. Know this, at least. There shall be no need for a contract. No signatures in blood or fealties sworn. Such pageantry is not for us. No more than it was the day Peter Hawkins signed you on. The offer and its vocation will simply be ready and waiting for you. Make the decision. It will be done.”

Jonathan’s hand lands on the ferryman’s shoulder.

The Ferryman turns.

His eyes are burning hollows. His eyes are all that is left that could be called a face.

“Wake. She is calling to you.”

And he is in the bed with Mina.

And he is in a nightmare.

And he does not wake from it as she tells them all of the Count’s visit, her blood and the Vampire’s staining his breast.

And his body sits and breathes and listens.

And as his mind swims back to a boat on the River, a sickle grows where his soul should be.