#meat headcanons
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i love writing about shen qingqiu flirting with people but not knowing he does it, and never realizing what effect it has on people or when they flirt back
for instance, he doesn't quite have a grasp on the usage of flowery, poetic speech yet, so he uses it in ways that are more suggestive than he means to. he compliments liu qingge's fighting style but the words he uses are "dancing like a snow lotus in the high mountain gales" and liu qingge turns so red shen qingqiu thinks he has a fever. he also said to wei qingwei that if only he was better a guqing player he would capture the sound of his laughter (wei qingwei has a boisterous laugh and this was meant to be teasing) and wei qingwei lay awake for three nights thinking about that.
he'd try to banter with yue qingyuan in the sort of taunting style of the original sqq, but in doing so accidentally strays into "shixiong should just bring his pillow and move in with how much he visits" "well if shidi insists" territory, and he doesn't realize it.
he pretends to be jealous when liu qingge goes on a mission with someone else, saying things like "shidi is having so much fun with [other peak lord], am i not enough? has my heart been traded for another?" with a fake pout that's supposed to be playful, but that inadvertently causes liu qingge to only accept missions with him or by himself, and of course shen qingqiu keeps digging this hole deeper by then acting flattered when liu qingge invites only him to the hunt.
he also definitely goes a little shakespearean sometimes to be dramatic, but people take that serious too. one time shang qinghua was too busy to read/write with him, so he complained to whoever listened, "the cruelty of his words have ripped my heart asunder, never again will i feel joy from what has now turned to sorrow", and two days later shang qinghua asks him what the hell he said to make half of the peak lords show up angry at his house like scorned lovers
in my mind he has also made a "chain me to the bed to have your way" kind of comment about his without a cure treatment, because mu qingfang added twenty new concoctions to the list that are yucky and shen yuan doesn't like yucky things, but even he was like "hm" about that and their next appointment was a little awkward.
#sqq starts joking about becoming an atticwife and lbh & yqy take that a little too seriously#i love shen qingqiu being dramatic#as a treat#''life has left me to wander the vast desert of despair with naught but the sands of regret beneath my feet''#''oh no shizun what happened???''#''i dropped my meat bun :(''#svsss#shen qingqiu#my headcanons#shen yuan#yue qingyuan#liu qingge#scum villain
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i think. I THINKKKKKK bakugou is the easiest guy to tell if he’s ever jealous. suddenly his hand that’s holding yours tightens, or worse: it goes to claim its spot around your waist. his body curls around yours like a protective doberman and suddenly all of his hands, his hair, his cologne and just him surrounds you, it’s what you breathe and what you see. and maybe you can’t tell but he’s shooting daggers at the guy that looked at you the wrong way. and when you’re back at home, he’ll make sure to cover you in everything that screams his name. his merch, his olddddd hoodies that have his scent ingrained into its material, the necklace he got you that has his initials— he just, he’s like a territorial dog when he’s jealous
#it’s not that he doesn’t trust you#he just wants to deck all the ppl who look at u like a piece of meat#sy.katsuki#bakugou x reader#bakugou headcanons#mha bakugou#bakugou x you#bnha bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki#bnha bakugou#bakugo katsuki#bakugou fanart#katsuki bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugo#bakugou be like#bakugo katuski#katsuki bakugou#bakugou x y/n#katsuki bakugo mha#bakugou smut#bakugou katuski x reader#bakugou fluff#katsuki x reader#katsuki fluff#katsuki x you#katsuki#katsuki x y/n#katsukibakugou#katsuki bakugo imagine
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Taking pride in One's own appearance.
#you people are becoming my guinea pigs for my finally learning how to communicate information via comics. a thing ive needed to practice at#also BLEGH. YUCK. andrew hussie was right candy makes you sick. this is a little too saccharine for me. yeesh. let me get back to the meat.#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#doodlebyte#'let me get back to the meat' i say eyeing something similarly sickly in my sketches. at least it's mildly tormented as a counterbalance...#you people have no idea how much im having to stay my own hand. oh i can draw miserable nudity but the most basic of fluff? visceral#anyway i dont know the logistics of picking up a glass eye or where loop got money (besides pilfering from siffrin) & ive previously drawn#sif with a vague blank middle-grey eye as either being scarred over or a blank occular prosthesis put in quickly at the nearest town#i dont know that they'd have a glass eye during the game but considering prosthesis are reccomended to keep the skull etc from deforming#id imagine it would probably come up postgame as something to do now theyre not on a time limit trying to save the country#plus i assume that having it gouged at by a sadness wasnt exactly a clean wound by any measure#all this to say. idk i just wanted to get some information across in comic form to Test my Abilities#and we're far enough down now to say my absolute most wretchingly sweet fluff headcanon that actually inspired this#which is that i think siffrin gets into the habit of not wearing the eyepatch around loop so they kinda match.#and as a signifier to the other that they're letting their guard down around them. vulnerability etc.#just kinda wearing it around their neck so they don't lose it
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Just a silly question but how will cotton react when he saw or knew that y/n REALLY love to eat rabbits and have a weird obsession for eating them? Like. Is he gonna be terrified or he gonna be like "stay away from my child but I still love U tho"
-(I wanna be the 🦖 anon please and yes the ask earlier where I quack was me too )
Cotton x carnivore!darling
Tw: minor body horror, cannibalism, reader can be another hybrid or human, cotton being cotton, blood mentioned. Not proofread 🌺
🔪he knew there was something wrong with you. From the moment you took him in and nursed him to health. To the way your hands glided over his abdomen and raked down his thighs. Your eyes staring hungrily at his throat. He saw the red flags, but he ignored them, because you made him feel something he thought he hated. Fear. Adrenaline.
🔪when you reluctantly let him go, he begged to stay. He knew he wasn't much of a meal but won't you give him a chance? He'll gladly let you tear open his chest and claw out his intestines. How would you eat him? Raw and fresh? Or cooked and seasoned? The thought excited him beyond belief!
🔪when you had your first litter of children, he quite literally had to pry them from your hold. He loved you but he couldn't risk you eating your newborns. So for the first few months he raised them himself from a distance. The only way he'd let you near them would be if he was close by and had a sedative in hand.
🔪 while quickly becoming a prisoner in your own home, Your shorter than average husband was constantly breathing down your neck, his gaze never leaving your form. And with the help of your offspring, life got even more suffocating. You loved your children, you really did. But you could never really get rid of that little itch in your mouth begging to sink into some meat. When was the last time you had it? You were starving.. you didn't want to eat vegetables anymore..
🔪one night you went missing. How the hell did you break out of the chains he found. He felt his heart stop and scrambled out of your bed. Ears moving around to try and catch any noise. Quickly rushing to the children's rooms, he relaxed in seeing them all safe and sound. Until he heard something from outside. Grabbing the dart gun from his bedside, he stepped out slowly. Following the smell of blood and cracking of what sounded like bones. Going Deeper into the forest...
🔪and there you were. Crouched over the bodies of what seemed like a deer hybrid family. You didn't seem to notice him, happily chewing and tearing at the flesh underneath you. Blood spewing out onto the dirt floor, he swore he could see a little twitch from the mother's hand. Their bones bent in unnatural places and the gashes on their bodies lethal. He slowly approached, standing over you
"there you are.. where have you gone..? you had me so worried honey..."
🔪 you simply stared up at him, licking your bloody lips and dropping the arm you were chewing on. He could feel himself get hard at the sight. Weirdo. Ignoring the corpses next to him, he set down his gun and kissed you softly. Wiping the rest of the blood off you with his shirt. He learns quickly that once you've eaten meat, you don't need to eat it for a good while. Expect him to hunt down his fellow hybrids for you in the near future. After all, what kind of husband would he be if he kept neglecting your needs?
#Your children probably start eating meat too 💀#queenie ocs#yandere x darling#yandere x reader#ocs#queenie writes#yandere#yandere male#male yandere#yandere male x reader#Cotton the bunny#Bunny hybrid x reader#yandere bunny hybrid x reader#Yandere hybrid x reader#Yandere oc x reader#Yandere oc#yandere x you#yandere headcanons#Yandere x you#Yandere x y/n#yandere boyfriend x reader#Yandere boyfriend#Yandere husband x reader#Yandere husband#Tw body horror#Tw blood#cw gore#blood cw#tw cannibalism
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The Boiled Buddy!!!
I’m slowly getting used to look at its pics without flinching, I’m getting stronger! (Having its plushy helps //uwu)
#the boiled one phenomenon#the boiled one fanart#the boiled one#phen 228#doctor nowhere#tw scopophobia#body horror#scopophobia#cw gore#the doodles in the two corners at the bottom are my headcanon on how it its- just random tendrils and guts snatching meat#*how it EATS omg
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CROWLEY SSR THOUGHTS
there is zero basis for this, but I can't get this thought of my head
I don't know why I decided to draw it this way
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#(these will be relevant in a moment)#this isn't going to happen. but WHAT IF.#anyway i didn't get him (damnit birdman come home) so i had to look up his story#and let me tell you friends my findings were SHOCKING#crowley canonically likes vegetables which means that the crowley is revaan theory = BUSTED#crowley is sailor venus = CONFIRMED#(i know 'whip of love' is a saying but that's where my mind always goes)#DISCLAIMER: this is (mostly) a joke please continue to hold whatever theories and headcanons you want#but look. c'mon. look over here at this whiteboard i've covered in red yarn.#revaan being a picky eater has come up multiple times and there is an entire whole bit about how much he hated jerky and refused to eat it#and now they've made a point of talking about how crowley will eat almost anything and loOoOoves wild game meat especially#it's SO stupid but i can't help but read way too much into it#(this is tumblr if you don't want to see incredibly stupid overanalysis of anime guys then why are you HERE)#and i gotta hold on to something because otherwise whenever malleus and crowley are onscreen together i just keep going 'same hair color...#unless this is like. some kind of deep cover thing.#lilia doesn't recognize him because he saw him eat a green bean once and revaan would NEVER#crowley's secret is safe for another day#(serious hat on: i do think they're probably connected in some way)#(but there's something deeper going on that we're just not clued into yet that will hopefully explain things)#man forget revaan what if crowley whips off his mask and it turns out he was meleanor this whole time#wait hold on meleanor loves jerky. IT ALL FITS...
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Cerosin, adored, feel the free-est to ignore this question if it’s dumb or you’ve answered it before… If Ghost (09/22) got along with anyone among Nikto/Krueger/Golem (if there’s a timeline issue let’s ignore it) who would it be?… How would they bond…
Dearest Valiants, thank you so much for this question which was very fun 🖤 mw19 boys doodle for the occasion 😌
I feel like Ghost and Nikto would harbour sort of a... silent, mutual respect towards each other. A "yeah alright this guy's been through some serious shit" type of acknowledging one another. I think if they keep each other at arm's length, they could get along without getting on each other's nerves, but it's a delicate balance as they both have strong tempers. I would imagine them to share the same humour.
Krueger... He would be unfazed by Another Massive Guy Who Is Very Serious About His Mask tbh. I don't think he'd spare him any thought. Ghost, on the other hand, would surely be very wary of Krueger because Ghost is a guy with trust issues and this Krueger guy is (looks at notes) uh. uhm. Lived under a false ID to evade murder charges long enough for him to join a foreign military and make his way into the special forces under said false ID. Only to be suspected of actual war crimes and evading custody. so. yeah.
Funnily enough I feel like Golem would in particular clash with 09 ghost because he seems really stubborn. golem's #1 pet peeve (because he's a nice guy and people tend to naturally listen to him so he doesn't LIKE when people defy him.)
#in my mind nikto and ghost have very similar builds and heights. just 2 walls of meat.#my art#nikto#ghost#headcanons#valiants#cod nikto#cod ghost
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kels n kerfs ft 10 ft tall wife
when does he get to be carried around like a purse dog
#votv#voices of the void#kerfur#dr kel votv#i love that you can find matching glasses for kerfur#hard to not become weirdly attached to the closest thing to a companion you have#anyway#i have thoughts but they're mostly empty#kel starting this gig nervous but hopeful. he loves his field of study and the prospect is interesting#he's good at it. like REALLY good. nobody expected him to last so long#but despite being relatively unflappable there's only so many times you can have random meat show up in your house#and get jumpscared by living mannequins without McLosin it a little#he takes it all in stride up until he doesn't#have some headcanons#gnight
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DINNER IS (finally) SERVED
3000ish words later and part 8 is here! hope you guys enjoy!
(p.s my headcanons explainations are in the tags if you're curious)
(p.p.s credit also goes to @rin-solo for the first headcanon )
the post/thread that started this whole au
dinner scene: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7
there's a masterlist now!
*odysseus is making his way to the dining hall, while athena and poseidon are following behind*
poseidon: *looking around at the decorations/tapestry dotted around*
poseidon: *see’s a tapestry of what looks to be a very much younger odysseus in full king & armour attire*
poseidon: *stops walking, and turns to look at the actual odysseus in front of him, then back at the tapestry*
poseidon: *to odysseus with a sardonic tone* do your weavers like making you look like a boy, or was that a decision you made to make yourself look younger?
odysseus: *pauses his walking to see what poseidon is talking about*
athena: *also pauses and turns to poseidon*
odysseus: *sees the tapestry in question*
odysseus: *sighs* of course you point that one outÂ
athena: *who knew odysseus before he was king*
athena: *glaring at poseidon* uncle, you shouldn’t make assumptions, especially when you don’t know the facts
odysseus: *pats athena on the shoulder as he passes her*
odysseus: it’s fine athena
odysseus: *next to poseidon and looking up at the tapestry* if you must know, that is actually the age i was.Â
poseidon: *not believing him* yeah right, you couldn’t be older than fifteen in this
odysseus: *turns to him with a sharp look* you’re correct, i was fifteen
poseidon: *slightly wary of odysseus’ mood* so… you became king at fifteen? isn’t that a little bit young for a mortal to rule a kingdom?
odysseus: *turns back to the tapestry* i was already the king, i was actually crowned when i was thirteen
poseidon: *shocked and confused* why would a child be given a kingdom to run?
odysseus: *looks down with a sad smile, at the memory of his father telling him about him losing his mind, and how sorry he was to place such a huge responsibility on his young son’s shoulders*
odysseus: well, i had no choice, but i would do it again if i had to…Â
odysseus: *turns to athena* besides, i had athena to help guide me
athena: *smiles with a nod at odysseus*
odysseus: *starts walking in the direction of the dining hall again* anyway…enough of that, can we please just make our way to the dining hall now
*they all continue making their way down the hall*
poseidon: *notices a stain on the floor tiles not far in front of them*
poseidon: *points* i think your servants missed a spot
athena & odysseus: *both look to where he’s pointing*
athena: *chuckles to herself in knowing*
odysseus: *smirks*Â
poseidon: *sees both their expressions, and is confused*Â
odysseus: oh that..oh don’t worry it’s clean
odysseus: *shrugs* it’s just so hard to get bloodstains out of white titles
poseidon: *wide eyed* blood?
odysseus: yeah.. not long after i finished with you, i arrived back on my island to find my palace overrun with 108…mutts… all vying for my wife’s hand.Â
odysseus: *waving his hand like it was a simple issue* so i made sure to deal with them all myself… unfortunately one of them left a stain.
odysseus: -oh look we’ve made it
odysseus: hope we haven’t kept them too long
poseidon: *shocked at all the new odysseus lore he’s unlocked*
athena: *laughing at poseidon’s expression*
odysseus: *opening the door* come on let’s head in
poseidon: *shakes away the shock*
odysseus: *to poseidon* i guess it’s time to introduce you to my wife
*they all walk through the doorway into the dining hall*
*there penelope and telemachus both stand not too far from the dining table; which has quite the feast laid out, and from the steam coming off of it, it had not long be put there*
odysseus: *heads over to his son & wife*
odysseus: *looks at poseidon* poseidon, you’ve met my son telemachus before.
telemachus: *can barely keep in his excitement*Â
telemachus: hi- i mean good evening lord poseidon, i’m so happ- grateful you accepted my father's invitation for dinner.Â
telemachus: *puts his arm on his chest, and leans forward in a bow of respect* i hope you enjoy the evening.
odysseus: *narrows his eyes at poseidon, silently threatening him to not be rude to his son*
telemachus: *looks back up at poseidon, smile on his face*
poseidon: *quickly nods his head in greeting to telemachus* good evening prince, your father tells me that this was all your ideaÂ
telemachus: *raises a hand to nervously scratch under his chin* um… yes i guess it was
poseidon: well then, thank you for the idea to invite me.
telemachus: *hand leaves his chin and a big smile breaks out* well of course! you are my father’s friend after all!
poseidon: *eye twitches before he quickly composes himself*Â
poseidon: yes… friend.
odysseus: *coughs* yes and now that you’ve both reacquainted yourselves again… telemachus why don’t you go speak with athena for a moment
telemachus: sure!
*telemachus makes his way to athena, and they start talking amongst themselves*
odysseus: *puts his arm around penelope’s waist* now, please let me introduce you to my wife; the queen of ithaca, penelope.Â
penelope: *doesn’t bow like telemachus, but nods in greeting* welcome to our palace lord poseidon
poseidon: *nods back* thank you for having me queen penelope
penelope: *smiles but her eyes have a certain glint to them*Â
penelope: my husband has told me all about your part in his journey home to us
poseidon: *totally not panicking a little* uh-
penelope: *glint leaves her eyes, but her smile remains*
penelope: -and also how you have helped out on his and my son’s fishing trips lately.
penelope: of course, i would also like thank you for taking the time to attend tonight
poseidon: sure… no problem?
odysseus: great, everyone has met everyone!Â
odysseus: *to everyone* now, shall we sit down and eat the lovely feast the cooks have made us, before it gets cold?
odysseus: *moves to pull out one of the chairs at the head of the table for penelope as he normally does, when he notices that, there is only one chair instead of two*
odysseus: *looks up at the table and sees a piece of parchment with ‘mother’ written on it*Â
odysseus: huh?
telemachus: *makes his way over to his father* oh! there’s a different than usual seating plan for tonight! i’ve put everyone's names where they should sit.
odysseus: *smiles at telemachus* oh ok, sure!
odysseus: well, i guess i should look for mine then, hey?
telemachus: yes, and please everyone else too!
*everyone makes their way to the table to see where they’re sitting (even though three of them already know)*
odysseus: *sees the parchment with ‘father’ on it*Â
odysseus: *expecting to have either athena or telemachus next to him*
odysseus: *watches as athena stands in front of the seat opposite him*
odysseus: *thinks it’s weird to put athena & poseidon together, but thinks telemachus has done is as they are uncle & niece*
odysseus: *then sees telemachus stood in front of the seat next to athena*
odysseus: wait-
poseidon: *sees his name and heads towards it, only to look up and see odysseus standing in front of the seat next to him*
poseidon: wait-
poseidon & odysseus: *both look at each other in horror that they're stuck next to each other all evening*
telemachus: *not noticing the looks of doom on their faces* isn’t this great? it’s a family dinner, so what better than friends sitting together?Â
telemachus: *turning to penelope* sorry you’re by yourself at the head of the table though mother
penelope: *smiles and waves her hand* i don’t mind
penelope: anyway, let's sit and eat!
*everyone but odysseus and poseidon sit down. both who have a death grip on the back of their seats*
penelope: *clears her throat* odysseus, lord poseidon… would you both please sit down.
odysseus: *snaps out of his staring at poseidon*Â
odysseus: uh sure…
odysseus: *sits down and look back to poseidon, nodding his head at poseidon’s seat in the motion for him to also sit down*
poseidon: *still doesn’t sit*
odysseus: *a millisecond of a flash of red eyes*Â
poseidon: *sits*
odysseus: *internally to himself* oh this is gonna be a long evening
odysseus: *to everyone* ok, everyone dig in!
odysseus: *to poseidon* can you get what you want for yourself, mighty sea god? or do you need a mortal’s help?
poseidon: *grabbing a lamb chop off a platter and tearing into it savagely in defiance*
odysseus: *rolls his eyes at poseidon, but goes to place a filet of fish on his plate*
*everyone has been eating and talking*
poseidon: *looks at penelope (who is talking to telemachus & athena) and then looks at odysseus*
poseidon: *thinking and then looks back to penelope*
odysseus: *to poseidon* is there a reason you keep looking at my wife?
poseidon: *jumps at little at being caught looking*Â
poseidon: *turns to odysseus* oh do not worry yourself, i have no interest in your wife
odysseus: *unimpressed* why do you keep looking at her then?
poseidon: im..curiousÂ
odysseus: *narrowing his eyes* about?
poseidon: normally you mortal men choose women younger than them for their wives… yet clearly your wife is; from my estimates… about a decade older than you
poseidon: *now with his hand under his chin, leaning on the table*Â
poseidon: do you perhaps…prefer older women odysseus?
odysseus: *hands tighten in grip around his cutlery*
poseidon: *notices odysseus hasn’t responded yet*
poseidon: i’m right aren’t -
odysseus: no.
odysseus: *his eyes may not be red, but are clearly full of anger*
poseidon: *eyes widen in worry* whoa whoa! no need to get angry, it’s just a simple observation…. anyone if they pay attention can see the age difference
poseidon: *moves his hand to flick his hair back over his shoulder* it’s not a bad thing
odysseus: *takes a breath in to calm down and then slowly releases it*
odysseus: we are- were the same age… physically at least
poseidon: *confused* i don’t follow
odysseus: *looks at poseidon* during the 10 years it took for me to get home… i found myself stuck on a goddess’ island for 7 of them…
poseidon: ok…
odysseus: *closes his eyes* caly- the goddess had full control over everything on the island… her magic influenced everything… including a mortal's ability to age.
poseidon: so you didn’t-
odysseus: -age? yeah
odysseus: *sighs and opens his eyes* when i realised i wasn’t… i- i-Â
odysseus: lets just say i didn’t handle it well
poseidon: *blinks at this new information* oh
odysseus: yep ‘oh’ indeed…Â
odysseus: *looks back at poseidon*
odysseus: didn’t you think it was odd that i looked exactly the same when we met again, almost 10 years after our first meeting?
poseidon: in my defence… i was angry and trying to kill you, i wasn’t really paying attention to how you looked
odysseus: *rolls his eyes* i guess that's true
telemachus: uh lord poseidon? may i ask you a question?
poseidon: *happy to not continue his conversation with odysseus*
poseidon: *to telemachus* ask away prince of ithaca
telemachus: is it true that you gave achilles his horses balius & xanthus?
poseidon: *amazed at telemachus’ knowledge*Â
poseidon: not directly… but yes i am the reason he came to acquire them. you see i gave them to his father peleus, as a wedding gift for his wife thetis…
*poseidon continues to tell the tale, and odysseus speaks with athena and penelope while more time passes*
*the meal is continuing smoothly as can be*
poseidon: *notices that odysseus has only been eating the fish. not touching a single bit of pork, beef or lamb that's also on the table*Â
poseidon: *who has continuously eaten all meats available*
poseidon: *to odysseus* is there something i should know about the meat?
odysseus: huh?
poseidon: *points at the selection of meat in question* what's wrong with the meat? you’ve only touched the fish.
poseidon: if i hadn’t seen the others eat it, i’d worry you’d asked your cooks to poison it or something.Â
odysseus: *raised eyebrow* poison won’t hurt you though?Â
odysseus: *pointing a fork at him* also, why do you care about my eating habits?
poseidon: *frowning at the fork* i don’t, i’m just-
odysseus: curious? poseidon, i thought you were the god of the sea, not curiosity…
poseidon: *huffs* forget it-
odysseus: i can’t
poseidon: *now his eyebrow is raised* you…can’t?
odysseus: *now using the fork to push the food on his plate around* i can’t stomach eating lamb, pork or beef anymore
poseidon: *forever confused by odysseus* uh why?
odysseus: *gives poseidon a ‘do i really have to explain everything?’ look*
poseidon: *just stares*
odysseus: *once again sighing because of poseidon* well i thought you’d understand lamb… after the whole sheep incident with… your son.
odysseus: then after i escaped you with the wind bag-
poseidon: *rolls his eyes at the memory*
odysseus: we wound up on the sorceress circe’s island… where she turned my men to pigs.Â
odysseus: i managed to convince her to turn them back, but it now feels weird to eat pork
odysseus: as for beef, short story is my men ignored my warnings and killed the sacred cattle of the sun god… so yeah beef is a no go for me also.Â
poseidon: *wondering how one mortal managed to interact with so many gods on a journey to get home*
poseidon: *laughs at odysseus* and you’re letting that affect your eating habits? i expected you to be stronger than that odysseus
odysseus: *narrows his eyes at poseidon* oh just like how you let my handling of your trident, affect you into doing as i say?
poseidon: *now glaring back*Â
poseidon: *turns away from odysseus* whatever, more meat for me
*dinner continues, with telemachus asking poseidon more questions. poseidon loving the interest in him and telelmachus’ knowledge, answers the all the questions with surprising enthusiasm*
*eventually what was once a giant feast of food has nearly been cleared from the table, thanks to having two gods eating most of it*
telemachus: have you enjoyed yourself so far lord poseidon?Â
telemachus: *smiling* it’s been really fascinating and fun to learn so much more about you
poseidon: *almost letting a small smile appear on his face in return*
poseidon: *instead just nods* yes, it certainly has been an interesting & knowledgeable evening
telemachus: what about the seating, was it a good idea to put you with my father?
poseidon: *wants to answer no, but feels a kick from under the table. clearly from odysseus*
poseidon: yes, you came up with an ok-
odysseus: *gives another kick*Â
poseidon: -great idea
telemachus: *laughs in happiness*Â
telemachus: oh but i can’t take all the credit
odysseus: *raises an eyebrow in curiosity*Â
athena: *who is sipping wine next to him*
athena: *slightly chokes* wai-
odysseus: *suspicious* son, you must make sure to tell us who else to thank for this
telemachus: *not understanding the bombshell he’s about to drop* oh athena actually came up with the idea!
athena: *suddenly nervous with the two very intense stares directed at her*
athena: w-well it was just a suggestion really…
telemachus: no ‘thena! remember you said as it’s a family dinner, friends should sit with friends!
odysseus: *to athena with the fakest smile* oh athena, how considerate!
penelope: *who has been quiet this whole exchange*
telemachus: *as if he hasn’t already unknowingly thrown one person to the wolves* but i of course had to run it by mother first, as she was helping me with all the planning!
penelope: *eyes have totally not widened*
telemachus: she said it was a great idea!
odysseus: *now to penelope* oh my dear wife, a great idea eh?
poseidon: *just chugs back his cup of wine at the revelations*
*after a awkward moment (at least for 4 of them) they continue on finishing the meal*
*eventually the food is finished and the dinner has come to an end, everyone has moved away from the dinner table and are now sitting on cushion chairs or standing around them talking amongst themselves*
poseidon: *looking out the window seeing just how dark the night sky now is*Â
poseidon: well this has been a lovely evening, but it is getting late and i have been away from the sea for as long as i can.
poseidon: *turning to penelope and nodding his head in actual respect* queen penelope, thank you for your hosting
poseidon: *without nodding at them* athena, odysseus… good night.
*before poseidon can turn to bid telemachus good night, the prince runs out the room*
telemachus: *yelling before he leaves the room* please lord poseidon, wait a moment! i forgot something!
poseidon: *turns to look at odysseus in confusion*Â
odysseus: *just shrugs also confused*Â
poseidon: *turns back to the door, telemachus long gone* uh sure.
*not long later telemachus runs back into the room dishevelled but holding something in his hand*
telemachus: *walks up to poseidon*Â
telemachus: *bows and holds out something covered in a silk cloth to him*
poseidon: uh-
telemachus: it’s a gift! i’m not expecting anything in return, and i’m sure you have better things… but i saw it and thought you’d like it
poseidon: *blinks, but takes the gift from telemachus’ hands*
poseidon: *carefully unties the silk cloth*
poseidon: *breathes in sharply*
telemachus: *not sure if that's a good or bad reaction* uh if you don’t like it that's fin-
poseidon: *holds his hand to stop telemachus*Â
poseidon: prince of ithac-
telemachus: telemachus- sorry for interrupting. please my lord, call me telemachus
poseidon: …telemachus. thank you, this is a very thoughtful gift.Â
poseidon: i will cherish it.
penelope & odysseus: *curious over what's got the god of the seas ‘cherishing’ something*
athena: *small smile as she knows*
*penelope & odysseus move closer to poseidon who is still staring down at his gift. once close enough they can see in his hand is a a handcrafted glass/crystal hippocampus*
*poseidon ended up wrapping it back in the silk cloth, and placing it in his chiton. He then thanked telemachus again and bid him good night & farewell. odysseus offered to walk back to the cove with him, but poseidon waved him off and told him to stay with his family*
#poseidon: *returned home back to his palace*#poseidon: *once again looking at the gift this time with a small smile on his face*#amphitrite: *looking at poseidon* whatcha got there?#poseidon: *stuffs telemachus’ gift into his chiton* uh… uh…MOLY?!#amphitrite: *raised eyebrow* the king of ithaca… odysseus gave you…moly?#poseidon: this isn't from odysse- *cough* i mean; no… he didn't#poseidon: it's from his son.#amphitrite: *now both eyebrows raised in disbelief* the prince gave you moly?#poseidon: *panicking as he's the god of the seas not of lies*#poseidon: well they're descended from hermes… he practically hands out this stuff as you know…#amphitrite: uh huh... what ever you say husband#okay headcanon 1 - calypso said 'under my spell we're stuck in paradise' & to me this made me think well if she controls everything#then surely a goddess' magic can have other consequences like stopping a mortal aging. or extremely slowly aging.#once poor odysseus realises he wasn't getting older but his son and wife would be...he broke fearing he'd outlive them#calypso obvs doesn't also want the love of her life getting old/dying on her too#also credit to @rin-solo for this head canon too!#headcanon 2 - it actually happened while i was eating a burger. i thought man i'd struggle to eat any meat after all what ody went through#and so thats how that came to be! i believe he will eat goat/rabbit/chicken etc. but fish is easier with y'know ithaca being a island#so telemachus' gift has been revealed! i thought a hippocampus would be better that just a sea creature or horse. why not both?#also there will be a part 9...ody's revenge/punishment for athena and penelope's seating plan#but i need a small break after this monstrosity#odysseus epic#poseidon epic#telemachus epic#penelope epic the musical#epic the musical#epic: the musical#friends in higher places au?#nonsense thoughts
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When they’re having pizza nights at Eddie’s, Buck and Tommy usually order the two with the most protein and then share them half and half, fist bumping once they’ve done the exchange, like this is the height of teamwork.
Eddie just calls them dorks and, one time, Tommy goes ‘you’re just jealous of our swag’ to which Christopher just pretends to leave like ‘I can’t believe I ever thought you were cool’ and Tommy lets out his offended ‘eeeh!’ (The same one he had when Buck teased him about the mouth static).
This prompts a contest between Buck, Tommy, and Eddie, to see who can misuse gen z/alpha slang the most egregiously, ending up in what can only be described as a Chris torture chamber.
Anyway, they’re never starved for banter.
#insert joke about meat lovers pizza#I just think those four are neat and I want more Chris ok????#I think the lad is funny af and super charming#fluff#911 abc#bucktommy#911#9-1-1#tommy kinard#evan buckley#tevan#kinley#Eddie Diaz#Christopher Diaz#ficlet#???#bucktommy headcanons
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lunch!
#i forgot meteors knife whatever#my headcanon that most vieras cant easily digest meat so erenville mostly likes vegetables.. (important)#ffxiv#erenville#meteor finalfantasy#erenville x wol#warrior of light#wol
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I'm going insane yall I need that fat boy. I WANT HIM. A fat boy, I need one. I'm such a lonely, hopless romantic.
#i love chubby men#meat on their bones MAKES ARGHF AGHA AGHRS AGHR BARK BITCH IM BARGH ABARFSJ#baddies wirh fatties drive me crazy#purely romantic though like not even in *that* way#if they are not ready to hibernate i dont want them#i also love headcanoning characters as chubby#bc im chubby myself#argyle#charlie dompler#alfred molina#doc ock#fatgum#daruk#mullyvr#gravity falls soos#caseoh#egon spengler#bolin#lok bolin#alphonso hargreeves#claggor#steven universe#neville longbottom#montgomery montgomery#allan barbie#two bit mathews#rise!raph#tom nook#el topo#i could go on
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The way I'd be lecturing Simon on heart disease and cancer
How you gonna survive torture to get taken out by ass cancer???
that isn’t anywhere near the top of his list of Shit He Cares About.
#if he got bit by a tick and developed that intolerance to red meat that sometimes happens#his ass would be begging to be taken out sniper style#like…..to live in a world without a full English breakfast is beyond contemplation#cod headcanons
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this is probably the first nacha art i've posted on here.
i had the thought of nacha as a line cook stocking up on ingredients. she meets francis who is there to deliver a big batch of milk to a local restaurant.
was this the first time they've met? are they old friends reuniting or are they strangers? were they anything more?
i dunno you guys decide.
#sketches#that's not my neighbor#tnmn#fanart#that's not my neighbor fanart#tnmn fanart#nacha mikaelys#francis mosses#nacha mikaelys fanart#francis mosses fanart#tnmn milkman#i also have this headcanon that nacha is more on the curvier side. mid sized maybe a little chubby#she'd need a little meat on her arms to do heavy work#nobody comment on francis' rolled up sleeves ok? ok#he needed that cus this particular batch delivery is HEAVY
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meat roxy is so funny because that whole thing is indicative of how homestuck is such a deeply transfem story that if you try picking a random character out of a hat to make transmasculine it's basically a coin flip as to whether you're overwriting a transfem narrative of some kind (and it's extra funny because the writers just so happened to roll Snake Eyes, Two Ones, critical failure, and did it to the character with perhaps the most blatant transfem coding of all time that just so happens to beautifully enhance her entire arc)
#juney.txt#hs#probably not a *hot* take but like god#if they revealed dave was transmasc? yeah the character who's whole arc is about how ideals of masculinity suck and you should discard them#june? you know how we feel about her here. that would not fly at all lmao#jade? well the furry joke we've already done literally makes her tma. so.#i'm not transmasc and a lot of the popular transmasc headcanons just kinda fly right over my head because of that u_u#but jane is a popular choice and from what i've seen it's for a lot of good reasons#but alas we made her the fascist bad guy so. can't hit her with the testosterone beam#i've heard that apparently meat!roxy is transmasc because one of the transmasc writers on the og team related a lot to roxy#or something#and if i hadn't heard that i would swear the writers just picked at random from the characters they weren't already doing something with
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welcome to manhood
#homestuck#roxy lalonde#homestuck 2#hs^2#meat roxy#oddities&curiosities#dont get mad at me for this im transmasc okay#ill love transfem roxy forever but ive warmed up 2 this guy. im ok w tmasc headcanons as long as i get to draw them pregnant/bleeding#also have not read hs2 disclaimer disclaimer this is more appreciation of the concept than anything else#🚨🚨🚨
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