#meat headcanons

[fairsweetlonging]

i love writing about shen qingqiu flirting with people but not knowing he does it, and never realizing what effect it has on people or when they flirt back

for instance, he doesn't quite have a grasp on the usage of flowery, poetic speech yet, so he uses it in ways that are more suggestive than he means to. he compliments liu qingge's fighting style but the words he uses are "dancing like a snow lotus in the high mountain gales" and liu qingge turns so red shen qingqiu thinks he has a fever. he also said to wei qingwei that if only he was better a guqing player he would capture the sound of his laughter (wei qingwei has a boisterous laugh and this was meant to be teasing) and wei qingwei lay awake for three nights thinking about that.

he'd try to banter with yue qingyuan in the sort of taunting style of the original sqq, but in doing so accidentally strays into "shixiong should just bring his pillow and move in with how much he visits" "well if shidi insists" territory, and he doesn't realize it.

he pretends to be jealous when liu qingge goes on a mission with someone else, saying things like "shidi is having so much fun with [other peak lord], am i not enough? has my heart been traded for another?" with a fake pout that's supposed to be playful, but that inadvertently causes liu qingge to only accept missions with him or by himself, and of course shen qingqiu keeps digging this hole deeper by then acting flattered when liu qingge invites only him to the hunt.

he also definitely goes a little shakespearean sometimes to be dramatic, but people take that serious too. one time shang qinghua was too busy to read/write with him, so he complained to whoever listened, "the cruelty of his words have ripped my heart asunder, never again will i feel joy from what has now turned to sorrow", and two days later shang qinghua asks him what the hell he said to make half of the peak lords show up angry at his house like scorned lovers

in my mind he has also made a "chain me to the bed to have your way" kind of comment about his without a cure treatment, because mu qingfang added twenty new concoctions to the list that are yucky and shen yuan doesn't like yucky things, but even he was like "hm" about that and their next appointment was a little awkward.

[catsoupki]

i think. I THINKKKKKK bakugou is the easiest guy to tell if he’s ever jealous. suddenly his hand that’s holding yours tightens, or worse: it goes to claim its spot around your waist. his body curls around yours like a protective doberman and suddenly all of his hands, his hair, his cologne and just him surrounds you, it’s what you breathe and what you see. and maybe you can’t tell but he’s shooting daggers at the guy that looked at you the wrong way. and when you’re back at home, he’ll make sure to cover you in everything that screams his name. his merch, his olddddd hoodies that have his scent ingrained into its material, the necklace he got you that has his initials— he just, he’s like a territorial dog when he’s jealous

[queenie-the-court-jester]

Just a silly question but how will cotton react when he saw or knew that y/n REALLY love to eat rabbits and have a weird obsession for eating them? Like. Is he gonna be terrified or he gonna be like "stay away from my child but I still love U tho"

-(I wanna be the 🦖 anon please and yes the ask earlier where I quack was me too )

Cotton x carnivore!darling

Tw: minor body horror, cannibalism, reader can be another hybrid or human, cotton being cotton, blood mentioned. Not proofread 🌺

🔪he knew there was something wrong with you. From the moment you took him in and nursed him to health. To the way your hands glided over his abdomen and raked down his thighs. Your eyes staring hungrily at his throat. He saw the red flags, but he ignored them, because you made him feel something he thought he hated. Fear. Adrenaline.

🔪when you reluctantly let him go, he begged to stay. He knew he wasn't much of a meal but won't you give him a chance? He'll gladly let you tear open his chest and claw out his intestines. How would you eat him? Raw and fresh? Or cooked and seasoned? The thought excited him beyond belief!

🔪when you had your first litter of children, he quite literally had to pry them from your hold. He loved you but he couldn't risk you eating your newborns. So for the first few months he raised them himself from a distance. The only way he'd let you near them would be if he was close by and had a sedative in hand.

🔪 while quickly becoming a prisoner in your own home, Your shorter than average husband was constantly breathing down your neck, his gaze never leaving your form. And with the help of your offspring, life got even more suffocating. You loved your children, you really did. But you could never really get rid of that little itch in your mouth begging to sink into some meat. When was the last time you had it? You were starving.. you didn't want to eat vegetables anymore..

🔪one night you went missing. How the hell did you break out of the chains he found. He felt his heart stop and scrambled out of your bed. Ears moving around to try and catch any noise. Quickly rushing to the children's rooms, he relaxed in seeing them all safe and sound. Until he heard something from outside. Grabbing the dart gun from his bedside, he stepped out slowly. Following the smell of blood and cracking of what sounded like bones. Going Deeper into the forest...

🔪and there you were. Crouched over the bodies of what seemed like a deer hybrid family. You didn't seem to notice him, happily chewing and tearing at the flesh underneath you. Blood spewing out onto the dirt floor, he swore he could see a little twitch from the mother's hand. Their bones bent in unnatural places and the gashes on their bodies lethal. He slowly approached, standing over you

"there you are.. where have you gone..? you had me so worried honey..."

🔪 you simply stared up at him, licking your bloody lips and dropping the arm you were chewing on. He could feel himself get hard at the sight. Weirdo. Ignoring the corpses next to him, he set down his gun and kissed you softly. Wiping the rest of the blood off you with his shirt. He learns quickly that once you've eaten meat, you don't need to eat it for a good while. Expect him to hunt down his fellow hybrids for you in the near future. After all, what kind of husband would he be if he kept neglecting your needs?

[lucabyte]

Taking pride in One's own appearance.

[egophiliac]

CROWLEY SSR THOUGHTS

there is zero basis for this, but I can't get this thought of my head

I don't know why I decided to draw it this way

[cerosin-bis]

Cerosin, adored, feel the free-est to ignore this question if it’s dumb or you’ve answered it before… If Ghost (09/22) got along with anyone among Nikto/Krueger/Golem (if there’s a timeline issue let’s ignore it) who would it be?… How would they bond…

Dearest Valiants, thank you so much for this question which was very fun 🖤 mw19 boys doodle for the occasion 😌

I feel like Ghost and Nikto would harbour sort of a... silent, mutual respect towards each other. A "yeah alright this guy's been through some serious shit" type of acknowledging one another. I think if they keep each other at arm's length, they could get along without getting on each other's nerves, but it's a delicate balance as they both have strong tempers. I would imagine them to share the same humour.

Krueger... He would be unfazed by Another Massive Guy Who Is Very Serious About His Mask tbh. I don't think he'd spare him any thought. Ghost, on the other hand, would surely be very wary of Krueger because Ghost is a guy with trust issues and this Krueger guy is (looks at notes) uh. uhm. Lived under a false ID to evade murder charges long enough for him to join a foreign military and make his way into the special forces under said false ID. Only to be suspected of actual war crimes and evading custody. so. yeah.

Funnily enough I feel like Golem would in particular clash with 09 ghost because he seems really stubborn. golem's #1 pet peeve (because he's a nice guy and people tend to naturally listen to him so he doesn't LIKE when people defy him.)

[keikoyume]

The Boiled Buddy!!!

I’m slowly getting used to look at its pics without flinching, I’m getting stronger! (Having its plushy helps //uwu)

[gothamite-rambler]

Microfiction Series "Weird Questions from a Weird City: Batfamily Edition

Duke Thomas: Okay, we're in a zombie apocalypse-

Damian Wayne: Don't worry, Jason would shoot us if we got bitten.

Duke: That's not - even for a cure?

Jason (shrugging): Depends on how far we are from it.

Duke: Okay, I kind of understand that. Not what I was going to ask. My question is if in a zombie apocalypse there's a scarce amount of food, but then we find one dude who says "I have a bunch of food!" It's nothing but meat and it's clearly not meat from any type of farm animal... what would you do?

Jason: It's confirmed it's human meat?

Duke: Yeah, you find him cutting up a body one day, but he's like "You're cool. If you help me out I help you out."

Dick: He can season and cook the meat well?

Duke: Yup and he has recipes. Y'all can make a little gumbo on the weekends, maybe a couple burgers on Monday, do whatever you want.

Dick: Oh... Yeah I'd eat some of the human meat.

Jason: Agreed.

Tim: I would wait until I starve and then right when I can't take no more... Yeah I'd eat my former classmate if they were packaged and ready to consume.

Jason and Dick: Agreed.

Everyone turns to a horrified Damian.

Damian: I couldn't.

Duke: You kind of have to. The crops are dying and the virus makes it difficult to eat plants.

Damian: You can't fucking do that!

Bruce: Language.

Damian: No, fuck that, he added that last part in.

Duke: Okay, well who's taking care of any vegetation, farms, fruits? Doubt there'd be a farmers market during the zombie apocalypse. What you expecting zombie farmers?

Damian: It can still rain and stuff.

Dick (countering): There's no guarantee that'll help for long.

Jason: And I imagine with the infestation of zombie bodies it would affect the ecosystem eventually.

Bruce: What the hell?

Jason: I think about this a lot we live in a very weird world.

Damian: I'll start my own vegetable farm!

Duke (scoff): You're going to start your own farm, keep it in pristine condition, just so you can avoid eating your friend, Jeffrey?!

Damian: Yes! And I will have fruits as well!

Tim: You're a vegetarian, wouldn't it be a pass if they're human meat?

Damian: No, father back me up here!

Bruce: I mean if the circumstances presented themself and there was no other food to eat... Maybe. Maybe not.

Damian: He didn't say he would!

Jason: He didn't say he wouldn't either.

Damian: You all suck! And I'd blast all of you in the head with a single bullet!

Damian storms off. Duke chuckles, his trolling accomplished.

Duke: Stephanie helped me come up with this idea.

Tim: She would do that too.

[madamemiz]

kels n kerfs ft 10 ft tall wife

when does he get to be carried around like a purse dog

[tommys-wings]

When they’re having pizza nights at Eddie’s, Buck and Tommy usually order the two with the most protein and then share them half and half, fist bumping once they’ve done the exchange, like this is the height of teamwork.

Eddie just calls them dorks and, one time, Tommy goes ‘you’re just jealous of our swag’ to which Christopher just pretends to leave like ‘I can’t believe I ever thought you were cool’ and Tommy lets out his offended ‘eeeh!’ (The same one he had when Buck teased him about the mouth static).

This prompts a contest between Buck, Tommy, and Eddie, to see who can misuse gen z/alpha slang the most egregiously, ending up in what can only be described as a Chris torture chamber.

Anyway, they’re never starved for banter.

[deathflare]

lunch!

[the-admin-behind-the-slaughter]

this is probably the first nacha art i've posted on here.

i had the thought of nacha as a line cook stocking up on ingredients. she meets francis who is there to deliver a big batch of milk to a local restaurant.

was this the first time they've met? are they old friends reuniting or are they strangers? were they anything more?

i dunno you guys decide.

[juney-blues]

meat roxy is so funny because that whole thing is indicative of how homestuck is such a deeply transfem story that if you try picking a random character out of a hat to make transmasculine it's basically a coin flip as to whether you're overwriting a transfem narrative of some kind (and it's extra funny because the writers just so happened to roll Snake Eyes, Two Ones, critical failure, and did it to the character with perhaps the most blatant transfem coding of all time that just so happens to beautifully enhance her entire arc)

[bnnywngs]

wei wuxian being adopted by wen ruohan is not only the third young master of qishan, no one fear him, and frankly, they prefer him over wen chao

no, wen wuxian would be the annoying 13yo who would give a scroll to his sect leader predicting the outcome of the war the wen want to start, with two outcomes possible - wen ruohan dead and the war is lost, or wen ruohan win, but dies later because of rebels - and why they should not put this plan forward

wen ruohan is the tired guardian of a genius child (he thinks wei wuxian is right)

(and sends him to gusu to study when he's 15 after wei wuxian's non stoping begging, in the end, it's a ✨ vacation ✨ to wen ruohan)

(somehow he has to deal with two eloping teenagers now and a very angry lan qiren)

[unclefathersantateddy]

New & Improved Fresh Meat Teddy!

When Denise left, the divorce hit Teddy hard. He stopped sleeping, developing severe insomnia, which started detiorating his health. His skin lost colour, his eyes started to hollow and form intense under-eye bags. His every thought was enveloped with Denise and the life he had lost. She was not good for him, but she was his everything.

Her absence triggered Teddy's abandonment issues that began with his parents' constant arguments, all he knew from his early life was that love is conditional, and if he was not useful, all his loved ones would leave eventually. He was desperate for consistency and stability that he simply had never experienced. These thoughts are what kept him up at night, all night, every night. These thoughts are what he needed to escape from, so he started going for night time walks in seek of distraction.

Wandering the streets at night exposed him to specific vices that he quickly learned were not for him. He wasn't a brothel man, nor was he a stripclub man. These options were fine, but they did not fill the void in his head and heart. He was a family man through and through, no amount of anonymous sex or drugs could pacify that.

So it came as a great surprise when he stumbled across a dingy diner, open much later than any other greasy spoon on Ocean Avenue. He hadn't seen this restaurant open during the day, maybe this was a soft-opening night? But there was only one customer inside, the owner of the morgue next door. "Not much of an opening" he thought to himself, looking through the greasy door window.

*Ding!* the bell chimed as he opened the glass door, which he noticed was slick to the touch. Rubbing his now-slimey hand on his slacks, his eyes arose and were immediately met with the furrowed gaze of the ethnically ambiguous, explicitly balding-yet-hirsute, angry-yet-perplexed-looking man behind the counter. "What can I get for you, champ?" emerged from his mustache-covered mouth, in an unexpectedly welcoming tone.

"Champ", a word Teddy had not been called for the better part of 30 years. A word so far-removed from his identity - yet remarkably familiar - coming from this otherwise-unyielding stranger, invoked an unfamiliar feeling.

A feeling that Teddy couldn't pinpoint. A feeling that made time stop. A feeling that Teddy wanted to last forever.

"A cheeseburger, please." The mustachioed man nodded.

Little did Teddy realise, that nod would be the start of something like never before.

[melljam]

oh gitae is so devilishly handsome

but i wouldn’t dare go near him … just look at the wolfish grin on his face while eating a raw steak … absolute feral beast of a man!.!!