#june? you know how we feel about her here. that would not fly at all lmao

[juney-blues]

meat roxy is so funny because that whole thing is indicative of how homestuck is such a deeply transfem story that if you try picking a random character out of a hat to make transmasculine it's basically a coin flip as to whether you're overwriting a transfem narrative of some kind (and it's extra funny because the writers just so happened to roll Snake Eyes, Two Ones, critical failure, and did it to the character with perhaps the most blatant transfem coding of all time that just so happens to beautifully enhance her entire arc)

[purplephantomwolf]

Love in Motion

Chapter Five

Synopsis: You are a normal college student until you get a wrong number text.

Note: This is not an accurate portrayal of how the real people in this act. I do not know them personally, so I will not be portraying them accurately.

Previous chapter: Chapter Four

Masterlist

I AM REWRITING THIS FROM AN OC STORY. IF I MISS ANYTHING, PLEASE LET ME KNOW SO I CAN FIX IT! THIS IS CHAPTER 5 OF 5 OF ALREADY WRITTEN CHAPTERS.

April 25, 2022 3 pm

     You sit down at your pc, feeling uncomfortable in your suit. You take a couple deep breaths, feeling anxious about this interview. You click join on the video call. “Hello,” you greet the interviewer.

     “Hello, Y/n. My name is Jane,” the interviewer greets me. 

     “It’s nice to meet you,” you say. 

     “It’s nice to meet you, too. I’m looking forward to interviewing you. Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am the head photographer at Red Bull Racing. In June, I will be stepping down because I will be going on maternity leave. I won’t be returning, so one of our other photographers, Jaxon, will be taking over. We need someone to replace Jaxon,” Jane explains. You nod along. “Tell me a little about yourself,” Jane requests. 

     “Well, I’ve been taking photos since I was a kid. I started when I was 10. I got into it because my grandpa was a photographer. He took portraits, and so I started out taking portraits. I then bridged over into taking action shots as my siblings got into sports,” you explain. Jane nods, smiling. It looks like she’s liking what I’m saying. You continue the interview for another 20 minutes. 

     “Well, I really like you and your work. Would you be able to come to the next race to meet the team? You’d be meeting the drivers and other photographers. We will pay for you to fly out. I want to see you in action before I make my final decision,” Jane asks. 

     “Yes, I am able to,” you answer quickly. 

     “If we decide to hire you, would you be able to relocate to England?” She asks. 

     “Yes, I would be able to,” you nod. 

     “Perfect! I shall email you the details of your ticket to the next race, which is Miami. I look forward to meeting you in person,” Jane responds. 

     “Thank you! I look forward to meeting you, too,” you grin. You say goodbye and end the call. You let out a loud shriek afterwards. “Oh my god!” You shriek. Your phone vibrates, drawing your attention to it. You grab it to see a text from Luke. 

Luke: Are you done with the interview? How did it go?

You: I would say it went pretty freaking good. They want me to meet the team in two weeks and they want to see me in action!

Luke: That’s amazing! 

You: I know! I’m so excited, but I don’t want to get my hopes up.

Luke: I’m sure you’ll get it. Your photos are amazing. 

You: Thank you!

******************************************************************************

May 6, 2022

     You step out of the cab, arriving at Hard Rock Stadium. “Y/n, over here,” you hear Jane’s voice call for me. You adjust your camera bag on your shoulder and look around for her. You make your way over to her when you spot her. 

     “Good morning, Jane,” you greet her. She smiles and says good morning before handing you a pass. 

     “This will get you into the paddock and garage all weekend. Do not lose it,” she emphasizes. You nod and put it around your neck. She leads you into the paddock and starts to show you around. “This is where we work when we’re not taking photos,” Jane explains, showing you an office. There’s two others in the office. “Guys,” Jane calls out. The two people stop working and look up at us. “This is Y/n, she is here for a trial weekend to see if she fits well with the team. Y/n, this is Jaxon and Amber,” Jane tells me. 

     “Hello, guys,” you smile, waving. Jane walks further into the room, and points to a desk. 

    “This is where you’ll be working for the weekend. You can set your camera down for now. Christian wants to meet you, he always meets with the candidates for jobs,” Jane explains. 

     “Christian?” I ask. 

    “Christian Horner,” Jane clarifies. 

     “Okay, sounds good,” you say, trying to pretend you’re not nervous. You set my camera down and follow after Jane to another office. She knocks on the door and you hear a voice telling us to come in. 

     “Christian, this is the best candidate for the photography position, Y/n. Y/n, this is Christian Horner,” Jane introduces us.

     “Nice to meet you, sir,” you say, holding out my hand. 

     Christian shakes your hand. “No need for that sir business, it’s Christian,” he shakes his head, “I’ve seen some of your photos and they are beautiful.”

     “Thank you, Christian,” you beam. 

     The door opens suddenly and you all turn to look at the new person. Your eyes widen when you see that it’s Max Verstappen and Sergio Perez. “Ahh, guys. Come in, come in. Come meet Y/n. She’s here this weekend for a test run for the photography position,” Christian says, gesturing to you. 

     “Hi, it’s nice to meet you guys,” you say, holding out your hand for them to shake. Both of them shake your hand. 

     “Do you have any photos you’ve taken to show us?” Max asks you. “You seem kind of young to be already at this position.”

     You pull out my phone to show him some photos. “Yeah, I mean, I turn 21 in about two weeks. But I’ve been taking photos since I could hold a camera.” You hand him your phone and he starts scrolling through them. 

     “These are beautiful. You’re very talented,” Max compliments me. Checo, who is looking over his shoulder at the photos, nods in agreement. 

     “Thank you,” you grin, taking your phone back. 

     “We need to get going now,” Jane says. You wave bye to the three of them and follow after her. “That went well. I think Christian already likes you,” Jane tells me as we enter the office. You grin, nodding. “So, the plan is you’ll be with me all weekend. How this works is we assign different roles to each person. I take pictures of Max and Max’s side of the garage. Jaxon takes pictures of Checo and his side of the garage, and Amber just floats around taking pictures of whatever she can. If you are hired, you would take my spot of taking pictures of Max,” Jane explains to me. 

     “Okay, sounds good,” you grab my camera and follow Jane to the garage. 

     “We take pictures of anything and everything. We can get over 500 pictures a day. Once the day is done, we go through the pictures and compile the best ones in a folder so that social media can go through them and choose which ones to post,” Jane explains. YOu nod along. “You can wander around Max’s garage and our pit wall taking pictures of whatever you want,” she smiles, giving you a nudge, “I don’t expect you to be attached to my hip this weekend.” You nod and start to wander around the garage. 

     You take pictures of the pit crew warming up and practicing, the engineers inspecting the car or inspecting the data. You take pictures of whatever I can. Once Max enters the garage, you start to take pictures of him from a distance, not wanting to disturb him. 

     “You can get closer,” Jane says, appearing at your shoulder. 

     “I just don’t want to get in the way of his preparations. I’d feel more comfortable if I knew his routine, so I can keep a good distance but still get close,” you explain. She nods, a look of understanding on her face. “But I’m getting some good shots.” you say, starting to inch closer to Max. He must notice you out of the corner of his eye because he turns to you and shoots you a smile and a thumbs up. You quickly snap a picture of him doing that. You continue taking pictures of Max and his garage as he climbs into the car. 

******************************************************************************

     “Okay, let’s see what photos you’ve got,” Jane says, hovering over your shoulder. You open up the folder of your photos, and you start to go through them. “These are fantastic, Y/n,” Jane tells you, turning to face you. Your face breaks out into a beaming smile. “I need to talk to Christian, but I think that I can have your contract all ready to go by tonight, if you are okay with that?” Jane smiles. 

     “Yes! I am definitely okay with that!” You say, nodding quickly. 

     “Perfect! You finish going through your photos, and I’ll go talk to Christian!” Jane cheers. Both Amber and Jaxon congratulate you with smiles. Jane leaves the room, and you turn back to the computer. You will have your major freak out later in your hotel room. 

     The door opens and you all turn to look, as Max enters the room. He strides over to you. “I heard you got hired. Considering you’re the one who’s going to be making me look good, I thought I’d come say congratulations, Congrats on the job,” Max smiles. 

     “Thank you,” I grin at him. 

     “Just make sure you get my good side,” he jokes. 

     “Which side is that? Your back side?” You joke back, not thinking before you speak. Your eyes widen in horror when you realize what you said. You would’ve said something like that with friends back home. “I’m so sorry! I don’t know why I said that!” You start to gush apologies. 

     Max looks surprised, before breaking into laughter. “I have a feeling we’re going to get along great,” he says, giving you a fist bump. You let out a shaky laugh, glad that he’s not upset with you. 

     “Well, I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Have a good night,” Max says, backing out of the room. 

     “You too,” you all call after him. Jane enters the room with a stack of papers in her hand. 

     “This is your contract, you can spend the night reading it and return it tomorrow,” Jane hands me the papers. 

     “Thank you,” you pack the papers in your backpack. Jaxon and Amber wave good night and head out. You hang around the office for a couple more minutes, finishing up going through your photos. You upload the photos to the folder for the social media team and pack up your camera. “Have a good night, Jane,” you sling your backpack over your shoulder and grab your camera bag. 

     “Good night, Y/n. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jane looks up from her computer. You wave good night and leave the office. You pull out your phone to see a message from Luke. 

Luke: How was meeting the team? 

You: I’d say it went well, considering I’m walking away tonight with a contract to read over. They loved the photos I took today. 

Luke: Oh my god! That’s amazing, Y/n! I’m so happy for you! 

You: Thank you, Luke!

     You arrive back at the hotel and enter my room. You throw your phone on the bed and set your stuff down. You grab the pillow and scream into it in excitement. “I got a job with Red Bull Racing!” You laugh, dancing around the room. Your phone lights up and you grab it. 

Luke: Can I see some of the photos you took today?

     You chew on your lip as you contemplate sending him photos. You know he’ll immediately realize who you’re now working for when he sees the photos. You sigh and decide to send him photos. 

You: Sure! *Five images attached* 

     You nervously pace the room as you wait for his response. You don’t get a response for five minutes. But when you do, you’re afraid to open it. You finally give in when he starts spamming your phone with messages. 

Luke: Those look amazing. 

Luke: Hold on, those are Red Bull uniforms. 

Luke: That’s the Red Bull garage. 

Luke: That’s Max Verstappen. 

Luke: YOU HAVE A JOB WITH RED BULL RACING?!

You: I do. I’m taking over the position of taking pictures of Max. 

Luke: Oh my god! That’s amazing! Congratulations!

You: Thank you! I am so incredibly happy. 

Luke: I am so happy for you. 

You: Thank you!

     You grab your contract from your backpack and sit on the bed. You start reading through the contract, signing where it’s needed. By the time you’re done with the contract, it’s nearing 11 o’clock. You slide the contract into your backpack to return to Jane. You climb into bed, falling asleep. 

******************************************************************************

Lando’s POV

     I’m looking at the photos Y/n took today when it registers that the photos are of Red Bull employees in the Red Bull garage. “Holy shit! She’s here!” I shriek. I start pacing the room. I spam her with messages, congratulating her. She thanks me and I debate whether I want to meet her or not. I really want to meet her, but I don’t want to mess up what we have. I sigh, falling onto my bed. I decide to call Max because he met her today.

     “Hello, Lando. Everything okay?” Max asks, answering his phone. 

    “Hey, Max. I have a question/need some advice,” I sit up. 

     “Alright, what’s up?” He asks me. 

     “Do you remember me telling you about Y/n?” I start off. 

    “Y/n? I don’t think you’ve mentioned a Y/n,” he hums. 

     “Maybe not by name, she’s the girl I told you guys about at the club about a month ago,” I explain. 

     “Oh yes! I remember now. What’s up? Did she find out she’s being lied to?” Max asks. 

     “No, she got a photography job today, and she might find out that I’m lying to her because of it,” I sigh. 

     “Hold on, you said her name was Y/n and she got a photography job today. Red Bull hired a girl named Y/n for a photography position today. Is she the same girl?” Max gasps. 

     “Yes, yes she is,” I admit. 

     “Oh my god,” he laughs, “This is amazing. You need to figure something out, mate. She’s a cool girl.” 

     “She is,” I agree, “I just wanted to ask what you think I should do.”

     “Well, I don’t think she’ll freak out meeting you. She wasn’t afraid to joke around with me today. But she might get upset that she was lied to,” Max tells me. 

     I grin when hearing that she wasn’t afraid to joke around with Max. “Okay, thank you. I’ll probably wait until after the race to see if she wants to meet up,” I think aloud. 

     “Probably a good idea. But I’ve got to go to bed now. Good luck, Lando,” Max wishes me a good night and then hangs up. 

     I sigh, falling back into bed. “You probably messed up, Lando. Hopefully she won’t be too upset when she finds out,” I mumble to myself. I close my eyes, quickly falling asleep.

Next Chapter: Chapter Six

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Permanent tag list:

@sol3chu

@faithshouseofchaos

Story tag list:

@anotherapollokid

@freyathehuntress

@hadids-world

@doofenshmirtzevil-inc

@delululeclerc

[loveshotzz]

All I Really Want Is You

older!neighbor!widower! steve x fem!reader chap seven/ten - a slow burn series of blurbs - updated every wednesday

Bad Idea

summary: After a week of avoiding, you find Steve at your front steps.

wc: 4.3k

warnings: 18+ series for future chapters. Steve and Reader have THE talk, we learn Steve & Emma’s story. There will be discussions of feelings about watching a loved one struggle with terminal illness and death in this chapter. There’s not a ton of details about her struggles but it is touched on. Angsty beginning and a very, very fluffy end 🧡

author’s note: it’s all up hill from here guys, just a little growing pains. i can’t believe there’s only three chapters left after this 🥺 thank you for reading and all of the sweet reblogs and messages through out this whole series. you have made this so special for me and it’s been such a comfort to write as I navigate my own life changes right now.

🌇 <- chapter six -> chapter eight

The Masterlist / The Playlist / The tune:

End of June -

It had been a week since Steve came back from his camping trip. A week of good morning texts left unanswered, of making sure not to look out your window when you knew he was home - even when you could hear him play with Bandit. He was doing that outside more than usual, a tactic to try and get you to come out and talk to him or hell, even just look at him. 

He doesn’t know that a few times it almost worked. 

Always & Forever

The words engraved into silver also stay carved deep and fresh in your mind, not letting you forget. You couldn’t, even if you tried. Especially not her beautiful eyes. Does she hate you? Part of you feels like you would hate you. The guilt threatens to punch the air out of your lungs.

The days go on like this with you doing everything in your power to avoid him while he did everything he could to run into you. The last ditch effort was after you caught him getting out of his car, your eyes meeting for a split second before you cut through the alley walking in through the back gate instead. Your resolve to stay away grows weaker when Steve’s good morning texts finally stop after that. 

So when Brad, the new server, gets the courage to ask you out, you say yes. It was a bad idea, anyone could’ve told you that, you didn’t really want him. He was just a distraction from facing the consequences of your own actions.  

He takes you to RPM Steakhouse in the heart of downtown and surprisingly he actually makes you laugh. He’s full of food industry horror stories he’s collected over the years. He’s not boring and he’s attentive when you talk, asking questions like he’s really interested. The butterflies that have built a home in your rib cage don’t flutter and fly for him though. The nerves that make your heart beat faster, the ones that feel like they vibrate from your fingertips, like your skin is on fire, are stagnant. 

He’s not Steve. 

You skip out on dessert when it’s offered to you, but you let him hug you before you get in your separate Uber’s home. It worked for a few hours at least. Looking out the window when your car hits the expressway, the skyline shines gleaming like the stars in the clear night sky.

It’s not very long until your phone fights for your attention, the screen illuminating the backseat. It pulls you back to reality, your breath catching when it’s not Brad’s name that flashes across your screen.

Steve

Can we please just talk? 

You aren’t expecting to see him at your front steps when the Uber drops you off at your gate. His hair sticks out wild at the ends, like he’s been pulling it all night, scratch that, all week and it makes more guilt settle deep in your gut. The scruff on his jaw is almost dark enough to be a beard now. His legs are covered in gray sweats and the white undershirt he wears fits tight over his shoulders. You hate how handsome he still is, even with his slides and socks.

He’s talking to himself, moving his hands like he’s trying to explain something, reciting a speech you can’t quite hear from as far as you are. The leftovers shift in your bag when you take your first step making the styrofoam squeak and plastic crinkle, his eyes shoot up instantly at the noise.

“Honey?”

Those wings start to stretch and flutter even after just one word. You wish you could be mad at how much power one word from him has, but all you feel is the weight of how much you missed him when his face softens.

“Hi Steve.” You catch the way his lips twitch at the sound of his name coming from your mouth when you open the gate. It had been too long for him, he’d become addicted to it without even knowing it.

He stands up, his eyes can’t help but roam your bare legs that sit exposed in your black cocktail dress, or the way the middle sinches into your waist, before fluttering out over the tops of your thighs. His own jealousy threatens to bubble over at the thought of you wearing this for someone else. He needs you to understand him.

“Is this a bad time?” He asks, scratching the back of his neck while he reads the restaurant name on your bag. He hopes whoever took you there isn’t coming back. “If it is sweetheart, I can give you more space. I just, I just wanted to see you.”

You stop in front of him, further away than normal but close enough to smell the cigar smoke that still clings to the cotton of his shirt. It mixes with the spice of his cologne from earlier this morning. His eyes find yours without hesitation, glazed over from the glass of whiskey you’re sure he nursed before finding himself on your front steps. They shimmer under the moon like emeralds and you just want to get lost in them.

The answer you want to give and the answer that you think will protect you are at each other’s throats, constricting yours from giving him anything right away. His face crumbles a little when his question is met with silence. You don’t want him to go.

“No, it’s not a bad time.” It comes out before you can fight it.

The smile that tugs at Steve’s lips warms your face like the summer sun, his hand reaching out for you before pulling back and finding a new home deep in his pocket instead. Baby steps. Your arm brushes against his when you walk past him, the smallest touch lighting the match.

“I just need to get out of this dress.” You can’t look at him when you pull at the fabric as if to show him how uncomfortable it is.

“Should I wait down here?” He clears his throat a little unsure of himself as he watches you dig through your purse. He didn’t think he’d get this far.

Cicadas buzz loud against the jingle of your keys in the beat of silence it takes you to unlock the front door. The stale air of the walkway hits you like an oven when you push it open, the heat making your skin stick more than it did outside.

“You can come up. I promise my dishes are done this time.” You flash him a smirk from over your shoulder watching the way your gesture makes him relax like you’d intended, secretly enjoying the blush you still can get to flush his cheeks so easily. 

Steve hadn’t been inside your apartment since the day he fixed your sink, and you don’t think you’ll ever get used to seeing him here. He’s handsome in a timeless way, still somehow put together even in his disheveled state. You watch the way he takes in his surroundings like he wants to commit it all to memory not knowing that he actually is, just in case this all blows up in his face and you never let him come back here again. 

The only noise that fills the room is the loud whirr of your A/C and it’s your turn to clear your throat.

“Umm, feel free to take a seat. I’ll be really quick.” You awkwardly gesture towards your green couch, grimacing when your mind goes back to the beautiful leather one at his place. 

He just nods, rubbing his palms against his thighs while taking one last look around before sitting. Your nose scrunches when you see how deep he sinks down, maybe a used couch wasn’t the best idea you’d ever had.

You wait till your door is shut to let out the long breath you feel like you’ve been holding this whole time. The familiar thumping in your chest returns ten fold. He’s in your living room.  

You try not to think too much about the yoga shorts and oversized shirt you change into, especially when your muscles relax, no longer strained by the tight nylon material dress. Allowing a single once over in your long mirror, you force yourself back out, the creak of your door alerting him of your return. His stare makes goosebumps dance across sticky skin in a battle with the air conditioning.

“Do you want some water?” You try to sound casual when you ask, keeping your back to him so he can’t see the way you’re still buying time.

“S- sure,” he stutters out, a cough following and you hear the way the cushions respond to his weight as he tries leaning forward. 

Now it's the whirr of your a/c and the grumbling of the ice machine that silences the unspoken feelings that are begging to come out. Scratching and clawing their way to the surface, the cracks in your facade start getting deeper the longer you stay quiet.

Steve breaks first.

“I think there’s a conversation we should have.” He pauses before starting over, “There’s a conversation I want to have.”

You freeze when the realization of where you left the watering can smacks you right in the face.

“Steve-“ you start, unable to meet his eyes and he’s quick to cut you off.

“Listen, I have some things I need to say and you should at least let me get it off my chest if you’re just going to pretend I don’t exist now.” His words make you realize the selfishness that hides under your insecurities of not being good enough for someone like him. 

He stands up when you turn around, both of you staying on opposite sides of the room. He takes a shaky breath before dragging his fingers through his hair.

“I didn’t think I’d ever feel these things again with anyone else, I was sure of it actually and then you showed up in your horribly packed moving truck.” He laughs a little like he’s still wrapping his head around all of it, and he knows if the situation was any different you’d roll your eyes at him for the teasing jab.

“You brought all of these things out of me that I thought I’d lost for good. Like, I can’t remember the last time I cared about what I was wearing when I left the house, but the past month I’ve been obsessed about it. Like what if she’s outside? What if she’s looking out her window? What if she wants to talk to me?” The veins in his neck show themselves as he gets more worked up but he’s not done yet.

“Then last week when you showed up at my front gate, looking even prettier than the last time I saw you, because you do that somehow, I couldn’t help myself around you anymore. The fact that you were actually going to kiss me back after I put the worst moves on you made me feel like I won the lottery or something.” His gaze meets yours to make sure he isn’t scaring you off before taking a deep breath.

“And then, and then you just - you just left without so much as a reason why. It was pretty clear though when I got home, and maybe that’s my fault because I feel like I’m doing this all backwards but you didn’t give us a chance to even talk about it.”

Steve looks like his world is falling apart, and the things he’s saying make you feel like anything but a second choice. You wish you could go back to that rainy day at his house and do things over again.

“I wasn’t given the shot at a fair fight the first time something special was taken from me, but I have one now and I’m not walking away unless you kick me out.” He straightens his shoulders a little before another anxious hand runs through his wild hair. His chest heaves as he finally gets out what’s been sitting just below the surface the whole time, his fears revealing themselves behind flushed cheeks and glassy eyes. 

The feeling like you’re slighting another woman who isn’t here is hard to navigate. It makes your own eyes sting but you don’t let the tears fall. Not when he’s handing his heart to you like he means it.

“I’d never kick you out,” your words come out quiet - soft, a stark contrast to the way his boomed loud with conviction, but he doesn’t miss them.

Hope starts to sprout deep in his chest for the first time in years.

“Never?” He breathes, relief relaxing the hard lines on his face while he looks at you from under his lashes.

His feet take him those few steps closer and when you make no moves to tell him to stop he keeps going. The sadness that plagues his handsome features slowly starts to fade and the bags under his eyes become more obvious. You want to kiss them.

Your hand extends, fingers reaching out for his. His eyes follow your movements, taking in what you’re offering and he doesn’t hesitate anymore, interlocking them like when he walked you to your front door. You watch the way his shoulders give the moment they touch and his eyes close as he relishes in the feel of it. Of you. 

Your back hits the edge of your kitchen sink when he crowds your space a little more, your fingers playing songs on imaginary strings together. Memorizing he dips between each one. His nose skims across your forehead making your own eyes close. How could you ever stay away from him?

“Never.” 

He hums at your confession, squeezing your hand gently before pulling back. He takes his time admiring your face from this close. He missed you so much, he actually thinks it’s kind of crazy. His other hand reaches up to cup your cheek, the pad of his thumb tracing the high bone. He loves the way you lean into it. You missed him too.

“Can we have that conversation now?” 

All you can do is nod, tears still threatening to spill out but now a different kind.

The two of you sit on your couch for hours, worn in cushions pushing you close together. Your head rests on his arm that’s draped along the back of it, your socked feet in his lap. He tells you how he met Emma through his high school sweetheart Nancy. The ex that turned him into a man as he put it, the one that made him really think about the kind of person he wanted to be. Even going as far to say Emma would have never given him the time of day if it wasn’t for her. Nancy was the Managing Editor of The Chicago Tribune and Emma was her Editor in Chief.

After being introduced by Nancy at a sports gala, Steve pursued her hard, especially because she said no the first three times he asked her out. It makes you giggle when he laughs about it. He said he knew he wanted to marry her after the first date and a year later he proposed to her on a group vacation with Eddie, Robin, Nancy and a few other friends in Mexico. The picture you saw was taken right after she said yes.

The wedding was small, just a few of their closest friends at The Chicago Botanical Gardens, and a dinner at Smith & Wollensky next to the river after. He told you how Eddie pretended to be mad the whole night becauseSteve made Robin his best man instead. They both moved into Steve’s apartment near Wrigley Field after a honeymoon in Italy. He said it was some of the best years of his life with her there, young and in love in one of the liveliest neighborhoods in the city. Then a few years passed and both their careers started taking off and they started wanting more as they got older. A family.

That’s when they started to invest in renovating this fixer upper of a house in a less nightlife oriented neighborhood. The house you live next door to. Between busy work schedules and dealing with contractors when the symptoms first started, they didn’t think anything of it. They chalked it up to exhaustion until she fainted in her office a few months later, then they finally saw a doctor. Another month later after multiple tests and hospital visits Emma was diagnosed with ALS.

“I’ve never seen something debilitate someone so fast, and Emma, god Emma was so strong. Seeing her like that at the end, it fucking broke me.” Steve’s voice cracks, a silent stream of tears falling down his cheeks now.

Your heart breaks for them, the tragedy of watching the person you love fall apart with nothing to do to stop it. An entire life you had planned ripped out from under you with zero warning or mercy. A cruel joke.

You reach up, using the back of your knuckles to wipe away his tears.  He leans in your touch, his gaze meeting yours with so many emotions inside of them, you think you might drown.

“We decided to stay in our apartment when she couldn’t walk anymore, with the rate it was moving she didn’t want me to live in this big new house meant for our new beginning and have her…have her die in it,” the last part comes out in just above a whisper, stopping to collect his thoughts. His brows furrow together and his fingers search for yours again. You give them to him without question. 

“We checked her into hospice a month after that, Eddie flew in the day she chose to get off assistance. She was surrounded by the people she loved the most those last days.” He takes another deep breath before he continues, it shakes just like his hands.

“That was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I don’t know how someone is supposed to go through that kind of pain and move on from it. Be a person again after it.” He takes another pause and he pulls you closer. His anchor.

“I don’t know if I’d still be here if it wasn’t for Eddie moving into the house with me those first three months, if I’m being totally honest with you.” He sniffs, his gaze falls to his lap to try and hide the shame at the thought, and you squeeze his hand a little bit harder.

“I’m so sorry Steve.” Your voice cracks at the weight of everything he’s been carrying around. The gravity of the way you left him tightens in your throat.

The tears you’d been holding back break free, making his eyes snap to yours. He lets your hand go to wipe your cheeks with gentle fingers like you did to his just moments before. He knows you're apologizing for more than just his bad luck.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m okay now,” he whispers, pressing his forehead to yours. The tips of your noses touch, tears mixing and dripping down the ends of them. You keep your eyes closed in hopes that if you focus hard enough, maybe you could take away some of his pain. Even if it’s just a little bit. “We’re okay now.”

You don’t know how long the two of you sit like this together, not speaking, letting wandering hands memorize faces and fingertips. Your breathing falls in time while your cheeks start to dry. Puffy red eyes stay closed while your muscles finally relax. His nose rubs small circles against yours that make smiles neither of you can see stretch across tear streaked faces.

When you finally open your eyes, he’s already looking at you, something brighter inside of his now like he just let go of a big secret. He doesn’t have to hide anymore.

It’s you that finally works up the strength to pull away enough to really see his whole face after depriving yourself of it for so long.

“I actually kinda feel like she sent you here, despite me,” he admits, laughing nervously, breaking the silence, “She made me promise her that I’d try and find love again when the time was right, I eventually said yes after she asked me at least a dozen times, but I never actually intended on it.” 

Steve stops for a second to brush some of your mascara that smudged, holding your eyes in the forest of his.

“Then five years later, this tough girl tries moving an entire apartment’s worth of stuff by herself next door. I mean, you practically did.” He smiles at how proud you look of yourself, “I knew I was screwed when Bandit sniffed you out.”

You giggle like you're just as love sick as him and he wishes he could play it on a loop whenever he’s sad. 

“She was probably laughing at how bad I was at trying to flirt with you.” His ears turn cherry red while he tries to hide his very real embarrassment.

“You did run away from me for like a solid week after we met the first time if you remember,” you tease, making his eyebrows raise in challenge. You weren’t supposed to roast him too.

“I guess we’re even then aren’t we?” He counters, smirking when you scoff, wrapping his arm around you so you can’t move away like you try to in fake protest.

Your legs end up draped over the tops of his thighs, fitting snug into his side. The warmth of his body makes your eyelids droopy. The cedar undertones he always carries calms all of your nerves.

“She was beautiful Steve,” you whisper, playing with the chain that dangles off his neck before looking up at him with a smile, “And maybe even a little too cool for you if I dare say.” It’s genuine when it comes out of your mouth, no hidden insecurities, an understanding that he wasn’t settling for you and it makes Steve want to kiss you even more. 

“She would have thought you were way too cool for me too.” He laughs, tracing the side of your face with his fingertips. You want to look away from the intensity of it all but you force yourself to hold his stare, keeping yourself open for him. It’s quiet for a few minutes, letting everything that was shared tonight really sink in. That stray you missed so much makes an appearance and you finally get to be the one that pushes it back, and his hair is just as soft as you imagined.

“What are you doing on the fourth, pretty girl?” The new nickname makes you shift in your seat, the hint of a smug smirk begs to break across his face when he catches it. Maybe he’s still got it.

“Nothing, I got the day off.” You hate that his question is enough to make you shy.

It’s too hard to hold his gaze this time, but he doesn’t let that slide. His fingers hook under your chin to tilt your eyes back up to his. Noses brushing, your lips just inches apart like this.

“Be my date to the block party?” He whispers, whiskey and tobacco still lingering on his breath. 

You smile, nudging your nose against his in a dare.

“I’d love to Steve.” His name comes out around strawberry chapstick lips, they brush with his feeling like velvet and it makes his nostrils flare.

He dips his head with a groan kissing the corner of mouth instead, before placing one on both your cheeks and another, a lingering one, against your forehead. 

“In honor of not doing things backwards, I’m going to wait until I’ve taken you out. The way it should happen. The way someone like you deserves.”

Steve wants to make you feel special too.

It's hard for you to feel rejected with his reasoning and seeing the clock on your stove read in bright red numbers - 2:46am. The fourth was only three days away now.

You play it off with a roll of your eyes and a dramatic “fine” that makes him really laugh for the first time all night, giving you another kiss on the cheek. This one a little wet. He can’t get enough of the way you can’t look at him after.

It’s another thirty minutes before he decides it’s time to go home when your yawn is too loud to hide and your head presses harder into his chest. He wishes he could stay, and one night he knows he will.

You both linger in the doorway with fingers wrapped up tight, neither one of you ready to let go. He just wants to stare at you, but he knows the alarm stuffed in his pocket is going to make his life miserable in three hours.

Instead, he gives you another kiss on the forehead telling you he’ll text in the morning, and he wishes he could have a picture of the smile you give him when you promise to text back.

beta’d by @superblysubpar

dividers by @newlips

older!steve edit by @eddiemunsons-missingnipple

🌇 -> chapter eight

[menlove]

random beatles lore i need an answer on. what’s the deal with paul proposing to multiple people before getting married to linda ? i thought he was just with jane up until linda like was he just desperate to have a spouse in that era or what

oh goooood question. we don't know exactly why he did all that bc he's never talked about it but i'll give u some details & my own two Potential Reasons

he proposed to three people Seriously: jane, maggie mcgivern, & linda. he also "jokingly" proposed to cyn and a female reporter? (or something along those lines i can't find the exact thing rn, if anyone has that one. i know i reblogged it at some point). cyn, he jokingly proposed to after john left her- brought her a single rose and said "how about it, cyn?"

but maggie and linda.... he wasn't with jane the entire way up to getting with linda. officially, anyway, bc if there's one thing paul loves to do it's cheat. one of the women he was having an affair with was maggie mcgivern. they had a 3 year long affair starting in '66. paul & jane broke up in july of '68 and in september, paul took maggie on a surprise trip to sardinia, where...

“We were lying on the beach just being young and in love. Paul turned to me, smiling, and out of the blue he just said: ‘Have you ever thought about getting married?’. I said, ‘yes, I suppose, one day…’ and I thought nothing more of it. Looking back, it was obviously the wrong answer. When I said one day I I meant in six months, maybe, but not never. But Paul was always slightly insecure and probably saw me as such a free spirit that he thought I was never going to settle down… I suppose I assumed that we would end up together but at the time I was just enjoying it all. In the ‘Sixties there was just so much going on that I didn’t have time to sit and think about the future. I suppose that, with the pressures of fame, Paul was craving security.”

maggie mcgivern, 1997 (x)

now, with linda... they started their affair a bit Before him and jane broke up. like i said, they broke up in july. but paul & linda had a "dirty weekend" in late june when he flew to nyc & then la. here's a longer post about all of that. so by the time he was proposing to maggie, he'd already had an affair with linda.

iiiinterestingly, he called linda & asked her to fly out to london in september (from paul mccartney: a life by peter carlin) and that's when their relationship became serious. so he got rejected by maggie (or he thought he did) and immediately went "ah right, who else could i possibly see myself settling down and having kids with? linda!" he still saw maggie for a while but eventually they stopped going out as he went all in with linda & wound up proposing to and marrying her.

as to Why The Hell Did He Do All That? well i have 2 thoughts on that

for both of them, though, i think it was really kicked into gear by john and yoko's relationship. like whether or not he had romantic feelings for john, i think he saw just how serious john was about yoko in comparison to cyn. and ringo & george were also married. when he talks about john & yoko, he frequently talks about it as the end of their bachelor days even though john wasn't a bachelor lmfao. but i think it kicked his ass into going oh shit i need to settle down and marry a woman too.

my Two Thoughts: a) the one i personally believe bc i think that man is queer as the day is long. but i think he realized that he needed to settle down and have that heterosexual lifestyle. he was the last unmarried beatle. there's this fun lil homophobic comment that reveals SO much about where paul's head was at imo:

-from "apple scruffs come to dinner" by andrew bailey (x)

interestingly, that's also the night they had a huge argument and he went to maggie's house crying (more about that in that source for maggie's quote up there). not sure if this was before or after the 26 year old queer comment, but i'm guessing after.

it's like a pretty Common refrain in history for queerness to be viewed as a sort of childish thing. like it's okay when you're young, not so much when you're older. i think with jane leaving & john getting swallowed up by another all-consuming, co-dependent partnership that Wasn't with paul, he realized he had to "grow up" so to speak. john had Grown Up and away from whatever fucky thing him and paul had going on and bc he always had to mirror john, he had to Grow Up too. which brings me to....

b) the other (boring) option is what follows if he's just your normal cishet dude and his 26 year old queer never to get married comment was Purely just him being a dick (totally possible lmfao, i just Personally think it still says a lot about him even if he didn't mean for it to). but it's still the same sort of motivation- the rest of his bandmates were married, john was moving on, the band was in chaos. he would've wanted to settle down and have children as is the heterosexual Norm and even straight people face pressure to do that in a certain amount of time. i really think the Franticness of it and the quick turn around with linda speaks more to a deeper underlying motivation, like being queer and the guy you're in love with has Grown Up, but it could just be a paul neuroses thing too.

tl;dr: man was juggling a bunch of affairs & decided he had to settle down and have a wife and kids Right That Second. jane dumped him and maggie said no, so he called linda and the rest is history. whether it's bc he was queer and panicking as he realized he was too old to be queer (my personal thought) or bc he was a straight man still under the societal pressure to have a wife and kid, we'll Never Know.

[a-french-coconut]

Jason Grace

Birthdays are, for Jason, a day like another.

It's a normal day.

Nothing out of the ordinary comes from completing another year of living.

When came the day of his third birthday, Lupa gave him a little more food than the other cups.

As for Camp Jupiter...

Well, Jason never bothered telling his fellow comrades his birthday date.

Every time someone asked him "When's your birthday ?", he would always shrug it off and divert the attention somewhere else.

That was until Reyna came along and baked him cakes every single day of the year.

"If you won't tell me, I'll assume it's always today." She would tell him, presenting him a burnt cake with wax dripping from the ignited candles.

He should have know waging war against the daughter of Bellona would mean defeat.

And so, in their first year of friendship, Reyna learns that Jason Grace's birthday is July 1st, in honour of Juno, his patron goddess.

But to his insistence, they don't celebrate it.

"Why ?" She asked him one night, the both of them watching the city from above, in Bacchus' gardens.

"I already have enough attention as it is." He lies, because the truth is that he wants to preserve his birthday like he knows it.

A blurred image of a blue-eyed girl, swinging him around and singing him "Happy Birthday !". He fears that if he celebrated his birthdays, that memory would fade.

"My full name is Reyna Avila Ramirez Arellano." Reyna said out of the blue.

"That's a mouthful." He smiled before trying to pronounce it. "Reyna Avila Ramirez Arellano, it's-"

"Don't say it again." Reyna cuts him, her hands clutching her t-shirt, "Never."

"Okay." He replies and he understands why she said it to him.

A treaty, a deal between them.

Two things only they know of each other, a proof of trust.

That night, Reyna became the person Jason trusted more than anyone.

Years passed and nobody bothered to ask him about his birthday.

War is looming on the horizon, a storm ready to fall upon them.

They need to see him as a general, a fearsome warrior ready to lead them to victory.

He is the son of Jupiter and wether he is fourteen or fifteen matters not.

It's not until his sixteenth birthday that Jason understands why birthdays are a special date.

A day to commemorate your life, to celebrate living another year.

When Piper hands him a cupcake, with poorly made frosting, Jason eats it, savouring every bite.

That memory goes lock itself next to Thalia's.

When the war is over, Jason thinks that celebrating his seventeenth birthday with all his friends wouldn't be that bad.

(In canon, Jason never makes it to seventeen. Here, we throw canon out of the window because birthday boy deserves some happiness.)

-----------------------------

Jason plops down on his bed, sighing.

What a long year it had been.

His sixteenth year of living began with a fight on the Acropolis, where he basically told his father he was a idiot for punishing Apollo.

Only for said god to barge into his dormitory months later, very mortal looking.

Then, his home is attacked by a zombie army lead by a dead roman king.

And how could he forget Piper breaking up with him.

Overall, that year wasn't the best of years Jason lived.

Except for all the friends he met and the sense of peace it brought him.

Not fully Roman, not entirely Greek, Jason is a children of both.

He has every right to feel at home in Camp Jupiter or Camp Half-Blood, where his father's statue is looking at him right now.

Jason lays in his bed, head purposesly facing the wall, and lets Morpheus greets him in his oneiric realm.

As Artemis leads her moon chariot in the night, June 31st morphs into July 1st.

-----------------------------

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUPERMAN !"

A lousy voice startles Jason out of sleep and he jolts awake.

"What ?" He asks disoriented and tangled in his sheets.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUPERMAN !" The same voice screams and it comes from a flying table making circles in his cabin.

"Buford ?" Jason yawns, "what are you doing here ?"

"WISHING YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUPERMAN !" Buford yells in his electronic voice, "FROM THE HOTTEST BOY ON EARTH !"

"Right, right, thank you. Can you tone it down a little ?"

"FROM THE DREAM OF ALL LADIES !"

"Yeah, I get it. But please, it's-" He checks the clock, "it's seven am."

"FROM THE SUPREME COMMANDER OF THE ARGO II !"

"What ? I gotta say his name ?"

"FROM YOUR BEST FRIEND !"

"Okay," Jason laughs softly, "thank you Leo for wishing me a happy birthday."

"YOU'RE WELCOME BLONDIE ! NOW GET DRESSED AND COME OUTSIDE !" Buford zooms out of the cabin by the open roof.

Jason shakes his head and quickly puts on a Camp t-shirt and a pair of jeans. When he opens the door, there's no one.

"I know you guys are hiding !" He screams as he scans his surroundings. "Buford told me-" He huffs as a weight settles of his back and arms snake around his neck.

"Happy birthday Jason !" Leo screams in his ear, "Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy-"

"birthday, thanks." Jason completes, holding Leo on his back.

"Amigo, you are going to live the best day of your life !" Leo claps his shoulders, excited.

"Did you plan it all ?"

"With some help but yes, it was me." Leo shrugs, "Now, it's time for breakfast."

"To the Pavillon we go."

Camp's grounds are empty as they walk towards the eating Pavillon.

"Nobody was woken up by Buford ?" Jason asks, surprised, "he made quite the noise."

"Don't worry about that." Leo flicks his head, surely grinning like a madman.

"Fine, but I don't want to bother anyone-" He falters as they enter the Pavillon.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON !" The whole camp scream, whistle, whoop.

He feels his face going hot, "Thanks you guys ! It's very nice of you to-"

At the Apollo Cabin, Will takes a mic and begins to sing.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, Jason Grace, happy birthday to you !" He finishes amidst his siblings' applauses.

"Woah, thank you Will." Jason says, his face probably the colour of a tomato.

Will bows and sits back, himself a little red but pleased with himself.

Leo jumps down from him, "Camp rules still apply so I gotta leave you here. But don't worry, I've got other surprises planned out for you." Leo winks and goes join his siblings.

Jason makes his way towards his table, murmuring "thank you", "really appreciated it", "you're the best." to all the campers he crosses.

When he finally sits down, another little surprise awaits him.

Blue brownies with a note.

"Sorry I'm not here buy you know, studies. Still, Annabeth and I wish you a happy birthday and you'll get our gifts later ! Enjoy your day, I'm still better than you because I win Kansas- ouch Annabeth ! Yes, I'm writing it because Jason will be my witness of your attitude. Appreciate the letter bro because it took me a while with dyslexia.

Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase

PS : I made the brownies (as if it wasn't obvious.), shut up Annabeth. Wait, can I still say shut up if you're writing ? (End the letter.), right, okay, ending the letter now."

Jason chuckles fondly, munching on a delicious brownie while he reads the note.

Most of his friends are at Camp Jupiter, Frank, Hazel, Annabeth, Percy.

He knows they would be here with him if they could, but the praetors are too busy to leave and Percy and Annabeth had exams coming up.

He tucks the note into his jeans and finishes the brownies, sacrificing a conjured apple to his father.

Hello, Father. Thank you for, hum, conceiving me ?

Yeah, that'll do.

He almost faceplates when Leo jumps on his back again.

"You're like a leech." He huffs, readjusting him so they are both comfortable.

"Don't know what that is but I'll assume it's something good." Leo replies, poking his neck. "Head towards the arena please, you have sword fighting class."

"No I don't."

"Yes, you do." Leo chirps, "now go."

"Leech." Jason groans.

Another surprise awaits him at the arena.

"Nico !"

The son of Hades gives him a small wave, "Hi Jason. Happy birthday."

"You came all the way from the Underworld ?" Jason asks with a big smile on his face, "for me ?"

"Don't flatter yourself that much Jason." Nico replies drily, "Will is the main reason I'm here."

"Of course," Jason grins, "how presumptuous of me to assume otherwise."

"I hope I'm not interrupting-" Leo pipes in.

"You are."

"Hush Di Angelo, I got best friend's privileges." Leo continues, "Give him your gift."

"You got me a gift ?"

"Yes." Nico mumbles, glaring at Leo, "I am here for your birthday after all. And Will of course." He adds, taking out a small box from his jacket and handing it to him.

He shrugs Leo off his back and takes the box.

It's pin, with "best cousin awards" written in big golden letters on it.

"It's-" Jason smiles, "it's just to piss Percy off when he sees it, isn't it ?"

"No." Nico says with a straight face. Jason looks at him. "Maybe a little," he concedes, "but I do believe you are not a bad cousin to have."

"Thanks Nico." Jason says earnestly, "I would hug you but..."

Nico smiles, "I can make an exception." and opens his arms.

Jason hugs him briefly and as soon as he's done, Leo climbs again.

"Right ! Now Nico, go find your boyfriend and Jason, direction the Big House !"

This little game lasts the whole day, Leo taking him to different places and people greeting him, wishing him happy birthday.

Malcolm gives him sets of models and black glasses.

"From Annabeth and Percy." He said.

"I understand Annabeth's gifts but did Percy explained ?"

"Yeah." Malcolm suppressed a grin, "It's to help you disguise yourself, like Clark Kent."

Jason rolled his eyes but hanged the glasses on his t-shirt's hem.

Drew gifted him contact lenses.

Connor offered him a book on geometry and architectural design.

"Annabeth might have helped a little." The son of Hermes confessed "And I promise I bought them fair and square."

Katie, Nyssa, Pollux all give him gifts.

It warms his heart that they care so much.

"You did help save our camp." Katie smiled, "It's the kind of thing that makes us appreciate you."

He now has a beautiful plant, a new set of armour and a ticket to an arcade room in New York.

The sun sets and it's time for dinner.

"Leo," Jason calls him as his friend join his table, "thank you for this day, it was the best birthday gift ever."

His friend's eyes glint, "Ah but Jace, the day's not over yet !" and he leaves cackling.

What could have he planned ? Jason thinks as he eats his fries.

Two hands suddenly obscure his vision.

He waits for the person to speak but she doesn't, "I have to guess ?"

He takes the silence for a yes.

"Hum," Jason thinks, who could it be ? One of his friends from Camp Jupiter ? Or... maybe... "Thalia ?" He call out hesitantly.

"Great guess little brother." Thalia laughs as her face appears next to him, "great guess."

He hugs her instantly, "You-"

"Came especially for your birthday, yeah." Thalia finishes, "how could I not ? My little brother is seventeen !" She ruffles his hair, arm on his shoulder.

"For me," Jason repeats, "you came for me."

"Yeah," Thalia says, "I'll always come for you Jason, always." She smiles before adding, "happy birthday."

"You were my only memory for a while you know." He gulps, feeling tears pooling in his eyes. "I'm sorry- I don't know why I'm crying, it's a happy moment, I'm happy-" He takes a big breath, Thalia's circular hugs on his back soothing him.

"You always loved this." Thalia says wistfully, "It always succeeded to calm your tantrums."

"Still works." He sniffles, leaning into Thalia's touch.

"Fate is a cruel thing," she whispers, "I never thought I would see you again after mom left you in those woods. And I've missed all your life, all your birthday parties-"

"You didn't, I never celebrated my birthday until last year." Jason whispers back, "I wanted to keep how I remembered it, with you swinging me around in the house."

Thalia chortles, "You already loved being in the air as a baby, you would always sit next to me and ask to be carried."

"I'm too big now."

"Hey," she nudges him, "no matter how taller you get, you will always be my little brother."

"I'm older though."

"Tough, you're still younger in my eyes." She snarks back, her head resting on his shoulder. "Leo's the one that invited me. I would have come nonetheless but I'm glad you found him, he's a good friend."

"Yeah," he agrees, "he is."

"I didn't come alone." Thalia adds, "there's another hunter with me."

"Hello Jason." A new voice says from behind.

"Reyna," Jason replies, "you're a huntress now."

She nods, "It's what is best for me."

"I'm going to leave you two alone," Thalia says, standing up, "I'll sleep in Zeus cabin tonight so see you later."

After she leaves, Reyna makes no move to go seat with him.

She's as Jason remembered, exuding an air of royalty and undeniable leadership.

She's the leader everyone see when they look at her, the woman who lead New Rome by herself, the demigod that killed a giant.

But Jason can see the small scar on her right wrist, the one she got for teasing Aurum too much with his food.

Or how she's nibbling her lip, indicating she's hungry and the way her hands are clasped behind her back, so that Jason doesn't see them trembling.

She's vainly trying to put a facade Jason can see right through.

"I'm sorry." He says, because it's all he can say.

"What for ?" She tilts her head, "you didn't ask Juno to capture you."

"But you loved me." He adds, because they need to address it, "you loved me and I came back with another girl."

She stiffens and Jason knows that her hands are tightly clasped, Reyna willing herself to stay composed.

"It wasn't your fault, I shouldn't have assumed you liked me back." Reyna clears her throat, "You had every right to date Piper."

"But-" He protests because he expected her to be angry, to be cold. She shouldn't be understanding, "I-"

She laughs bitterly, cutting him off, "You and Thalia share it, you know ? That unshaken belief that you are the cause of everything, that you have a hand in each matter evolving around you. I suppose it is divine heritage." she muses.

She scans the tables, her face lingering on Cabin 10.

"Venus' children ?" She asks and he nods, "Do you remember Charleston ?"

"Hum yes, we went to retrieve imperial gold-"

"I met Venus that day, and she told me that no demigod would ever heal my heart and that I will never find love where I hoped or wished to find." Reyna tells him, still looking at the Aphrodite Cabin, "I never told anyone that" she turns her obsidian eyes on him, "except you."

An olive branch.

An echo to the start of their friendship.

"I'm sorry for leading you on, for never making clear that I considered you a good friend." Jason apologises, feeling angry towards the goddess for ruining his best friend's life, "I hope the hunters of Artemis bring you the family you deserve Reyna."

He leans towards her, "I'm a little jealous of you to be honest," he smiles, a grin devoid of mirth, "I never had such a family before, and I don't think I ever will."

A secret for a secret.

That's how started their first friendship and that is how begins their new one, Reyna quietly seating next to him and directly stealing his fries.

"We'll come visit," she assures him, "every time we are near your location."

She eats quietly for another moment, her eyes fixed on Leo making laugh Harley over some joke.

"I think you're wrong."

"About what ?" He asks.

"About having a family, I think there's someone who would very much like spending his life with you."

"His ?" Jason picks up, "who is it ?"

"Leo Valdez could also make with some family," Reyna muses, "don't you think ?"

"Yeah..." He says slowly, "yeah, I suppose he can."

Next to him, Reyna grins slightly. "I'm sure he would be delighted if you were to sit next to him at your campfire, I'll tell Thalia not to wait for you."

"Maybe I want to sit with Thalia."

She raises her eyebrow, "She'll be here for the next two days, you'll have time to see her."

"Okay, okay" he relents, "I'll ask him when dinner ends."

They spend the rest of dinner chatting about the shrines Jason has to build, the relief of not being predator anymore, Aurum and Argentum, Reyna's new lifestyle.

"Leo !" He calls the son of Hephaestus who looks surprised to see him, "Wanna sit with me at campfire ?" He asks nervously.

"You're not going with Thalia ?"

For a reason unknown to Jason, Nyssa sighs loudly behind them and pinching her nose.

"She's staying a few days, I'll see her later. Right now, I want to go with you."

He gestures his back and Leo laughs but obliges, his head resting on his shoulder.

"Lead the way, Superman."

After two hours of singing, roasting s'mores, laughing until it hurts, Jason lays in his bed in Cabin 1, with a smile as Thalia's light snores fill the room.

Birthdays, Jason has come to find, are extraordinary days that he cherishes a lot for they bring all his friends together.

He cannot wait for his eighteenth birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON GRACE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know I'm a little late but it's because it ended up being way longer than I thought it would 😅

Sweet, fluffy, comforting story because he deserves it 💖

[rems-writing]

Eight makes one moan (part one)

Pairing: idol!Jongho x witch afab!reader

Genre: smut with a bit of plot

Wordcount: 1,738 words

Rating: nc-17

Nets: @mirohs-aurora-society @othersideoutlawsnetwork @illusionnet

Happy six years to these crackhead pirates!!!!!!!!

It had officially hit six years for Ateez. Even though you were introduced to them somewhat during the Deja Vu era, you fell in love with them through their song Desire and have officially dubbed yourself an Atiny during the Guerilla era. As you were blasting every single album series alongside Zelena, Regina and Robin watched from afar with adoration in their eyes and small grins on their lips. The events that had occurred throughout the quaint town of Storybrooke had taken a toll on you. 

After all, you were dubbed as the Demonic Ace for a while. 

Thanks to Henry and his penmanship as the current Author, your DNA had been rewritten and you were known as the Angelic Ace. Thanks to Merlin, your self inflicted glass heart curse was lifted and you could feel again. Thanks to Regina casting one more curse, all the kingdoms were united and Storybrooke was safe once more. 

Which leads us to now. 

“9024 KICK THAT DRUM!”

“MY EGO IN THE SHOW!”

You and Zelena were singing Crazy Form and doing the choreo the same exact way as Ateez had done it. However, you both were old hags (as in old people stuck in young people’s bodies) so you felt your joints ache with every single step and jump you guys did. Once the song was over, another track came up. 

And it was your favorite track off the album. 

“HOW THE FUCK DOES SAN SOUND LIKE THAT?!”

“I DON’T KNOW, Z. BUT IT’S SEXY AS HELL!”

“HELLO?! SEONGHWA’S PART?!”

Whilst you two were freaking out and doing a poor yet original dance to Arriba, Regina came over and turned down the volume, leaving the both of you to groan in frustration. Robin simply chuckled and walked over to you two. 

“Sorry if we paused your fun. We do have reservations at a restaurant in New York so we kind of have to get going.”

“OH SHIT! I FORGOT IT WAS TODAY!”

“LAST ONE TO THE CAR ISN’T A REAL ATINY!”

“YOU BITCH -”

Zelena cackled and sprinted away. You decided to cheat a bit and use your magic to trip her, causing her to fall and curse at you while you floated away. You got to the car first and you were about to sit in the front seat when you heard Regina clear her throat behind you. 

“You know the rules, sis.”

“BUT I GOT HERE FIRST, GINNIE!”

“I know. I would’ve let you sit in front if Robin wasn’t tagging along. Since he is though, you got to sit in the back.”

You grumbled in annoyance as you sat in the back. Zelena teased you and you decided to get back at her by summoning a large june bug and having it fly around her. It was hilarious seeing a mop of curly red hair fling about as she tried to swipe away the bug. You made the bug disappear and she flipped you off. Soon, the four of you drove out of Storybrooke and made your way towards New York. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’M SEEING MY MAN LIVE!”

“AS IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY SEEN HIM LIVE LIKE HUNDREDS OF TIMES!”

“STILL THOUGH!”

Long story short, Regina and Robin surprised you and Zelena with tickets to see Ateez live. Since it was their sixth anniversary, they decided to host an event. Not only did you two receive tickets, but you also got backstage passes so you would get to see your man in person. You were freaking out, but not as much as Zelena was. It dawned on her that she would meet her bias. As the two of you were getting ready for the backstage meet & greet, the former Wicked Witch paced back and forth. 

“Oh God. What if Yeosang thinks I’m too old?”

“You’ll be fine.”

“What will WooSan think of me?”

“Again. You’ll be fine.”

“Is it too late to back out now?”

“Good God. Get a grip, girl!”

You grabbed Zelena by the shoulders and made her stop pacing before shaking her out of her nervous stupor. 

“You’ll be fine. Just be yourself! Well… don’t admit you’re a witch. At least… not yet.”

“But doesn’t Jongho know?”

“Yeah, but he didn’t tell his other bandmates.”

“But Yeosang is in the group chat with us.”

“We never mentioned witch activity in said group chat when Yeosang was added. Right?”

“Well… no.”

“See?! Problem solved! Now come on. Let me finish your makeup.”

Soon, the two of you made it to the venue and showed your passes to the security guard before entering one of the vacant greenrooms, where all the members of Ateez stood. You saw a few Atinys and interacted with them while Zelena shyly said hello and mainly just talked with Yeosang, who introduced her to San and Wooyoung. When you got to Jongho, he pulled you aside and looked around to see if anyone was looking. As soon as the coast was clear, he kissed you hard. It caught you off guard yet you kissed back immediately and gripped his nice biceps. 

You were the only one that had the privilege of touching them. 

“I missed you, honey.”

“I missed you too, my bear.”

The two of you connected foreheads and stayed like that for a while. Even though you guys could handle the long distance relationship, the feeling of having each other in both of your arms was that of elation and relief. 

“After the concert, tell Zelena that you’re staying behind. I told our manager to retrieve you after the show.”

“Am I going to stay the night with you?”

“Only if you want.”

“I would love to.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The concert soon ended and you told Zelena that you’ll be spending the night with Jongho. The two of you shared a knowing look before she departed. When you found their manager, he led you to an empty dressing room. You thanked him and you saw Jongho sitting on the couch waiting for you. He looked up and smirked before standing up and walking towards you. He picked you up bridal style and carried you out of the room before exiting the venue through a back door. A van was waiting for you guys and as soon as you two hopped in, the doors slid shut and the van took off. A minute down the road and you two were making out like nobody’s business. Jongho’s hands gripped your waist while he kissed down your neck and your hands tangled in his hair. You were biting down on your lip to prevent any moans from escaping. Soon, you two approached the hotel you were staying at and as soon as the van doors slid open, Jongho grabbed your hand and the two of you exited the van before sprinting into the lobby. You guys ran into the nearest vacant elevator and Jongho pressed his floor button before he turned to you and attacked your lips once more. Once the elevator reached his floor, he hoisted you up and over his shoulder before walking towards this huge penthouse suite that the guys rented out for their stay here. He kicked open the doors and set you down on the couch. When you gathered your bearings, you noticed the amount of rose petals and fake lit up candles surrounding the room. 

‘Aww! He’s so romantic.”

‘He truly missed you.’

‘Wait… why is he coming back with his members?’

Your eyes widened when all eight of them approached you. The seven of them kept a respectable distance while Jongho walked towards you and knelt in front of you. 

“Before you freak out, let me explain.”

You nodded slowly and signalled for him to continue. 

“I talked about this with my members. You know me. I am a man who doesn’t share, especially when it comes to the love of my life. However, I realized… that sharing you with my fellow bandmates isn’t so bad. That doesn’t mean you’ll date all of them. God no! It’s just… I’ve had this hidden fantasy about seeing you get fucked by all the members and I honestly want to make it a reality. There’s just one thing missing.”

Jongho grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it.

“Your consent.”

You were in shock to hear about this. Sure, his bandmates were attractive as hell and you couldn’t deny that some of them were wrecking you (mainly Yunho and San). However, to initiate something as huge as this? Even though Jongho said he was ok with it, you didn’t know deep if you were ok with it. Furthermore, you also thought about what would happen if you didn’t do it. Sure, Jongho and the rest of Ateez will understand, but you’d feel bad for not indulging in one of his fantasies. He indulged in so many of yours. 

Might as well return the favor. 

Right?

“Um… ok then. I think… I’ll do it.”

“Are you sure? Because once we get started, there’s no going back. Unless we do something that you definitely don’t like. In that case, we’ll back off.”

“I’m positive, Jongho. I want to try this out. I’ve got nothing to lose.”

Jongho smiled his precious gummy smile and hugged you tightly before kissing the side of your head. When he let go, he turned around and saw the 98 liners approach you first. Jongho caressed your cheek and kissed your lips lightly. 

“We’ve arranged it in the order of our unit tracks.”

OH! OK THEN!

“Matz first.”

Seonghwa and Hongjoong kissed both corners of your mouth delicately and retracted slowly. 

“WooSanSang second.”

‘Can’t wait for Zelena to hear about this!’ You thought in the back of your mind.

“YunGi third.”

The tall towers leaned down to whisper in your ear sensually. 

“Hi there, angel.” Yunho said in your left ear deeply. 

“Hey there, baby girl.” Mingi said in your right ear deeply and huskily.

You gulped nervously as they retracted themselves. 

“Lastly, me.”

You saw Jongho kneel in front of you once more and smirk before kissing the tip of your nose. He soon retracted and signalled for Seonghwa and Hongjoong to go first. The 99 liners and Jongho soon all backed up and went into the separate rooms the penthouse had. Seonghwa sat on the couch and pulled you onto his lap while Hongjoong held your chin and made you look up at him. 

“Ready to have some fun?”

[idontplaytrack]

✧ I’ll make it anywhere

Janis ‘Imi’ike x Regina George(+ little sister reader)

Warnings: fluff, coarse language

Part 2 of 3. Read part 1 here.

“I asked her out.”

“And?” Regina asked.

“Thea said yes. We’re going out Friday after school to see a movie and hang out at the mall.” You nearly squealed.

Regina chuckled, “See? We told you everything would be fine.”

“I just…don’t really want to be too excited about this because mom’s been keeping a real close eye on me ever since you’ve been out of the house.”

“I get it.” Regina answered. “Have fun, though.”

“I will, Reg. Thanks.” You sat down on your bed, dropping your backpack on your desk chair.

You got up on your feet a minute later, still on the phone with Regina when you put your phone on the dresser and put her on speaker mode. “How’s Janis? She had the flu a couple days ago, didn’t she?”

“Hi, y/n.” Janis greets, “I’m all better now, thanks for asking.”

“That’s great.” You smiled while opening up your dresser drawers to grab a change of clothes. While you got changed, Janis asks, “How ya doing?”

“Cannot wait for summer already.” You sigh, flopping back onto your bed with your phone in hand.

“Plans?” Regina asks, curious.

“I barely made a few hundred over spring break. Not sure if I wanna continue working while school’s ongoing.” You laugh, “Just dreaming about the city again, and the bagels, god the bagels.”

“We can fly you in again, you know.” Regina mentions. “Or let mom know and you two will be here before you know it.”

“Eh, true.” You chuckled. “Can I stay with you guys again?”

“Of course.” They answered in sync.

You hung up after awhile, wanting to take a nap. “I’m gonna go, I wanna take a nap.”

“Okay, remember to do your homework.” Your sister reminded you.

“I will, right after I get some sleep.”

“Bye, ladybug.” Regina says with a laugh, “Talk to you again soon.”

“Bye, Reggie.��

You tossed your phone aside and quickly fell asleep. When you woke up, it was only because your mom knocked on your door.

“Dinner’s ready, honey.”

“I’m up, Mom. I’ll be right there.” You rolled over onto your back, stretching your arms out. You took your phone with you and sat at the table with your mom to have dinner together. “You’re not going to meet up with Dad?”

“No, I already told him. The answer will always be no. He left us. I don’t want to be around him anymore.” You bite back a sigh, poking your fork into the vegetable lasagna. Dinner went by as per usual, some questions here and there about your day, but it was generally…okay, sometimes a little awkward since you wouldn’t have much to say. You really just didn’t have much going on right now.

“Hey, honey.” She held onto your wrist, and you stopped walking.

“Yeah?” You turned around to face her.

“How is that situation with um…” She began.

“Doran?” You asked expectantly, “He apologised and hasn’t stared at me since. Let’s…hope it stays that way.”

She nods, giving you a hug, “That’s great. But you know what to do if—”

“I’ll tell you, and tell the school.”

“That’s right.” June nodded, “Okay, have a good night, honey. Sleep tight!”

————

“Hey.” You felt a tap on your shoulder, causing you to look back swiftly.

“Oh, hi, Thea.” You smiled, “What’s up?”

“Nothing much, wanna sit together at lunch?”

“Sure, whoever gets to the cafeteria first finds us a table?”

Thea agrees, “Sounds good. You have calc before lunch?”

“Yeah, in 313.”

“Oh.” Thea nods, “I’ll be in 117 right near the cafeteria.”

“Nice, would be helpful since we only have thirty minutes for lunch.” You chuckled.

“Thirty minutes is not enough.” Thea quips.

The first bell rings, interrupting the conversation. “Especially with you.” She continues. You looked away so quickly, feeling your cheeks heat up. She gives you a hug and says, “See you at lunch. Have a good day.”

You laughed awkwardly, “See you at lunch, Thea.”

The rest of your day seemed to drag on. You were practically buzzing with excitement, staring at the clock watching the time tick by. You couldn’t wait for lunchtime. She kept creeping into your mind— it was distracting.

Three hours later, it was finally time for lunch. You made a beeline for the cafeteria, winding your way through the sea of students in the hallways. You saw Thea sit down at a table, so you walked faster to get to where she was. “Hey!” Thea’s face lit up at the sight of you.

“Hi, Thea.” You set your bag down, “Let’s go get our food before the line gets any longer.”

“Good call. I hate queuing up for lunch, we barely have enough time to eat most days.”

“I actually thought of making my own lunches. But I don’t wanna sacrifice my sleep.” You laughed, moving up in the line.

“If you ask me, sleep is more important. Considering how early school starts, and we have to get ready, have breakfast, make our way here.”

“Exactly!” You exhaled, “Most days I get home from school and I just crash until dinner. Then I have dinner, do my homework or some revision, I shower, then I barely have enough time to do anything else for myself.”

“It’s probably only gone get worse from here, y/n.” Thea chortled, “We have one foot out of high school to college.”

“Ugh.” You groaned, “College freaks me out a little right now, if I’m being honest.”

“It’s pretty scary.” Thea agrees, “It’s still quite far away, but near enough that we know we gotta quit playing around.”

“I have like seven schools in mind, three dream schools, four safetys.” You revealed,

“I have eight. Four each.” Thea scoffs, “I know I’m a good student but somehow it just doesn’t feel like enough. The grades show it, but I can’t help but feel like I will still suck somehow,”

“Our minds…tricky.” You nodded, lips pursed, “We could be doing the best we can but sometimes still feel like our best isn’t good enough, even though we may be working ourselves half to death.”

Thea quirked a brow, nodding.

“Well that took a dark turn.” You bit the inside of your cheek, sipping on your sparkling water.

“It’s the truth. I agree with that, life can be tough in that sense.” Thea shrugged, unfazed.

“Mm.” You hummed, glancing at her.

————

After that little lunch thing with Thea on Tuesday, that’s how the rest of your week went. You sat with Thea during lunch whenever possible, and got to know her outside of class. Turns out, the two of you had pretty similar beliefs. In particular, how the universe always had three answers for people: no, not yet, or I have something better for you.

You believed in that for as long as you could remember. But ever since getting to know Thea, that belief has only strengthened.

School let out early on Friday so you went home right after to get ready to go out with Thea in a couple hours. You met up with her at the mall, watched the movie and was then walking around just chatting. Everything was going great, you felt like you two really clicked. She was really sweet and went home with you that night to make sure you got back safe and sound. So absolutely nothing would have prepared you for the hell that was the coming weekend. Thea asks you out to brunch the next day and being excited to spend more time with her, you agreed. Everything went fine— like usual, the conversation was unending, lots of anecdotes shared…along with laughter. But then it came to a screeching halt when she mentioned that her parents were out of town, and invited you to her house. You chewed the inside of you cheek, feeling your heart beginning to race. The way she asked you…you were sure she didn’t just want you to go to her house to hang out. She wanted to hook up with you. You wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but then she continued and asked if you wanted to have sex. She actually explicitly used those words. And well, your eyes looked like they were going to pop out from your head, having not expected a question like this. Even though the thought has crossed your mind once, actually going through with it was scary.

Somehow, you were in her room, making out with her— you’d let desire take over instead of letting your head freak you out. Thea did say that you two didn’t have to do anything more if you didn’t want to.

You feel her hand roaming lower and lower, and your sobriety became more and more apparent. “Mm-mm, no, no. I don’t want to. I’m not ready.”

Thea instantly pulled away. “That’s okay.”

“Excuse me.” You stumbled out of her bed, asking her where her bathroom was.

“Right across from the hall.” She told you.

You walked in there, locking the door behind yourself as you stared at yourself in the mirror, hands grabbing the edge of countertop till your knuckles turned white. You took deep breaths until your breathing evened out again, screwing your eyes shut until the racing thoughts died down.

“You alright, y/n?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I uh— I just— I just need to go, I’m sorry. It’s been a lot of fun, but I freaked out and I’m sorry—”

“Hey.” Thea looked at you, concerned, “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it, we’ll let things happen naturally. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it’s fine too.”

You exhaled harshly, “Okay.”

“Do you want me to drive you home?”

“It’s okay, I want to be on my own for a bit. Thank you, though.”

“Yeah, of course. Have a safe trip back home.”

From the moment you got home and have been debating in your head who to talk to. It then became a toss up between Janis and Regina. Your final choice was Janis.

“Hey, what’s up?” She chirped.

“Uh, so— I don’t know if Regina told you but I went on a date?”

“With Thea yesterday.” She replied.

“And today.” You continued.

“Okay.” Janis answered calmly.

“It was great at first, we just went out to brunch and talked a bunch then she suddenly told me that her parents weren’t home and asked if I wanted to go over to hers,” You started to explain, “I thought, ‘okay, that would be fine’. But no, she said more— she asked if we should hook up. Well, long story short I did go over but we only made out. But she wanted to go further, I stopped her because I didn’t want that yet. I told her I couldn’t do it, she said it was okay but I was still freaked out and decided to leave…to go home. I don’t even know why it’s such a big deal because things turned out to be okay, I’ve been home a few hours now I thought of calling Regina but I thought you’d be the better choice— I just don’t wanna worry her. And she can be a little— overwhelming.”

“I get it, it’s a lot to process but it’s still very early on. If it makes you feel any better I was so damn nervous about my first time but if it’s with the right person, you just forget about your worries eventually. If you two had a conversation about it, and things were okay before you left her house, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Take the rest of the weekend to clear your mind, focus on yourself, doing what you want. To put it simply, if she really likes you and cares about you, she wouldn’t force you into anything. A relationship isn’t just about the physical things.”

“I- I know. Thanks, Jan. I just needed to get that out of my system. Thanks for hearing me out.”

“Any time, bubs.” She assured, “And um, it was a good thing you didn’t call Reg because she went to bed early— her back started to act up today and she took painkillers then just slept.”

“Oh, no.” You sulked, biting your nail, “Is she okay? Did the meds help? Sometimes it doesn’t help.”

“She’s fine, it did help. It took away some of the pain, she managed to fall asleep pretty quickly. I’ve been up for a bit to complete a new art piece and keeping an eye on her. So far, everything’s going well.”

“Okay.” You gnawed on your bottom lip, “Don’t sleep too late though.”

“No promises.”

“Janis.” You warned, “Come on.”

“Alright, alright. Thirty minutes then I’m off to bed. You, too, okay?”

“Fine.” You sulked.

“Good niiight.” She chuckles.

“Night, Jan. Thank you.”

She joked, “Of course, bubs. Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.”

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

💭A/N:

Took wayyy longer than expected but I got it done. Hope you enjoyed 🥲✨

[p-artsypants]

The Last Flying Grayson

  While out on duty, Robin sees a billboard that chills his soul. ‘Haly’s Circus 3000 Phoenix Tour, coming to Jump City at the end of June!’ Not long after, Mr. Haly reaches out to the Titans for a favor.

Ao3 | FF.net

“I’m beat!” Cyborg lamented, slouching forward. “I hate chasing Mumbo. He’s annoying and he turned my car into a wind up toy.” 

“I’m right here,” said Mumbo, returned to his old man form. “Not much of a crime spree if I stay in one place, is it?” 

“Man, shut up!” 

“It’s alright Cyborg,” Robin patted his back. “Let’s drop Mumbo off with the police and then we can pick up some pizza for din—” as he spoke, he turned to look at their favorite pizza place, only to see a large Billboard next to it. 

Haly’s Circus 3000! 

Phoenix Tour!

Coming end of June! 

He stood frozen. Suddenly confronting his past like this was not something he was prepared for. 

“Hey, you okay?” Asked Cyborg. “You look paler than usual.” 

“Yeah dude, you look like you’ve seen a ghost!” 

He tore his gaze away from the billboard and looked back at his team. This was his present, and that was his past. There was no reason he couldn’t stop in and say hello, but there was no use lingering on it. “I’m fine. I just…suddenly realized how much paperwork I had to do.” 

“Oh Robin, you must not lock yourself up in that office!” Starfire cried. 

“Yeah dude! It’s movie night!” 

“I’ll do the paperwork on the kitchen table, how about that?” 

Beast Boy and Starfire cheered. 

As they carried Mumbo off to the car, Raven caught Robin taking one last look at the billboard. 

She knew more than the others.

She had been inside his head and saw his memories. It was brief, but she saw it. Whether or not this ‘Haly’s Circus 3000’ was the same one from his memories, she didn’t know. But it wasn’t her place to ask. 

—-

Robin’s past came back to haunt him a few days later. 

They were all gathered in the ops room, playing a card game together and hanging out, just being teens. 

“Ha!” Beast Boy put down a card with a tornado on it. “I bet none of you nerds can beat that!” 

Cyborg groaned. “Man, I had a lightning storm! I was certain I had it!” 

“I got nothing,” said Raven. 

“I, as well, have nothing to beat the tornado.” 

“Well well well, looks like Beast Boy is cleaning up!” 

“Not so fast, Grass Stain,” Robin taunted. “I still have one card.” 

Beast Boy gasped. “You would not.” 

Robin slammed the card down onto the pile. “Meteor shower! Read it and weep!” 

“Noooo! That’s three games in a row! How do you keep winning!?” 

“Let’s just say lady luck is a personal friend of mine.” 

“You have a lady friend named ‘Luck’?” Starfire asked, a pout on her face. 

“Relax Star, it’s just an expression.” 

“Then…perhaps we can play once more and I can befriend this Lady of Luck?” 

“Nah, I’m done,” said Beast Boy. “I got my butt kicked on the field enough times this week, I don’t need it kicked in my own home.” 

The big screen came to life with an unknown caller number on it.

“Ohhh unknown caller? How much do you want to bet it’s a salesman?” 

Robin’s jovial mood plummeted as butterflies erupted in his stomach. He had a feeling. “I don’t think it’s a salesman,” he said, subdued. He rose, and answered it. 

A portly man with a curly mustache wearing a striped shirt appeared on the screen. A big smile came over his face. “Robin! Good to see you, lad!” 

Of course he knew. ‘Robin’ and ‘Boy Wonder’ had been nicknames from the circus. His uniform was nearly the same too. Not to mention the death defying stunts he performed while crime fighting. It wouldn’t be that hard for anyone from Haly’s to piece it together. But, since Haly’s left Gotham and promised to never return, he hadn’t been concerned. Now, he was. 

“Mr. Haly,” he greeted with a nod. 

“I don’t want to take up much of your time. I’m sure you and your team are very busy.” 

“Busy losing at cards,” Beast Boy grumbled. 

“What do you need?” Robin asked. 

“I’m not sure if you heard, but we’re having a comeback tour, and next month, we’re coming to Jump City!” 

“I saw the billboard.” 

“Oh good! I had hoped that advertising was working. I had an idea. We used to do these charity nights where we had special benefactors sponsor us, and all ticket sales would go to the benefactor’s chosen charity.” 

Of course he remembered. It was why Bruce Wayne had been there the night that—

Robin assumed, “and you were hoping the Titans could sponsor a show?” 

“That’s right! Of course, you would all be considered guests of honor and get VIP seats. But, if it’s not in the budget, I’d understand.” 

“I’m sure we can make that happen,” Robin smiled. This conversation was going smoother than he expected. It seemed like Haly was being considerate enough to not assume everyone else knew who he was. 

“And…I have a personal favor to ask.” 

There it was. “What’s that?”

“I was wondering if you could find someone for me. You see, our circus has many new acts, and some old faces too, but…the Flying Graysons were still the greatest. I was hoping you could find Richard, the Last Flying Grayson, and see if he has it in his heart to perform as a special act. Just one night, as an homage to his parents. Is that something you could do for me?” 

Robin was quiet for far too long before he agreed, “yeah, I’ll find him and ask.” 

“Excellent. I know this is rather short notice. We’re planning on coming in two weeks, with the first show at the end of June. We were hoping you’d sponsor the show on June 27.” 

“June 27th, huh?” There was no hiding the grief in his voice. 

“Unless you’d prefer another day.” 

“I’ll make it happen, Mr. Haly.” 

“Wonderful! Wonderful! Let him know he can reach me at this number once he knows what he’ll need for his act. I can’t wait for you to see how the show looks now!” 

Robin’s throat felt tight. “Is Zitka still there?” 

“Of course! Fat on peanuts, but she’s still beautiful.” 

Robin couldn’t help but smile. “Great to hear. We’ll see you in a few weeks then.” 

“See you!” And the call ended. 

“Soooo…” Beast Boy grinned. “Who was that?” 

“An old friend,” Robin said vaguely. He really didn’t want to talk about it, but knew if he made a big deal about not wanting to talk about it then they’d pry and pry and pry until he talked about it! 

“That’s obvious,” said Cyborg. “But what’s the story!? You know circus people?” 

Robin swallowed. “They performed in Gotham City for a time. I knew them from my time there.” Half a lie. “I owe Haly a favor.” That was the truth. 

“Man, you have the coolest experiences from working with Batman and you never talk about them!” 

He scoffed, “like the 22 times Two-Face robbed the Second National Bank of Gotham of all its 2 dollar bills? Yeah, real exciting stuff.” 

“Please,” began Starfire, “this sir-cuss is a performance, like theater?” 

“Sort of,” Robin smiled. “Circuses travel from city to city, and perform in big tents. There’s big animals, strong men, clowns, all sorts of performers.” 

“And who is this Zitka and why is she full of peanuts?”

“She’s an elephant.” 

“Cool! Robin’s friends with an elephant!” Cyborg smiled. 

“UM HELLO? You all are!” Beast Boy morphed into an elephant. 

Cyborg grabbed his trunk. “I meant a real elephant, dummy!” 

Beast boy shifted back, rubbing his nose. “So what is he having you do? Something about finding a performer? A Flying Grayson?”  

He was afraid of this. It was too close. He had to play it cool, pretend it was nothing. He was removed from the situation, and none of it mattered. 

Or he could tell them the whole truth.

Nononononono no. No. Not happening. 

“The Flying Graysons…were the headliner. A family of trapeze artists,” he began. “Gotham is full of crazies like the Joker and Two-Face, yes, but it also has a lot of mafia activity. An extortionist threatened Haly, and when Haly didn’t pay up, the thug messed with the rigging to The Flying Graysons’ act.” Robin swallowed harshly. “John and Mary Grayson…f-fell. Their son, Richard, survived.” He sighed. “I saw it happen. It was…pretty traumatic.” 

“What of the foul man that committed the crime?” Starfire asked. 

“Batman and I beat him up and threw him in jail.” 

“So, I guess this Richard guy owes you a favor, huh?” Beast Boy smirked. 

“I suppose.” 

“Need any help tracking him down?” Offered Cyborg. 

“Nah, I know where to find him.” 

“I don’t know dude,” Beast Boy wondered. “If my parents died in an accident like that, I’d never touch the trapeze again. Is he still practicing?” 

“Not exactly, but he can do it.” Robin headed for the door. “I’m going to go ahead and reach out to him. Have fun with your cards.” 

As he departed and was alone, his shoulders sagged heavily and the tears started to well up. “Not yet,” he whispered. 

He walked swiftly towards his room, only to be halted by Raven appearing from the floor. 

“Wanna talk about it?” She asked.

“About what?” Sooth.

“Robin, I’ve been in your head. I saw your memories. I don’t know the details, but that fall that you witnessed was a prominent memory.”

He had almost forgotten that she had read his mind. Raven was considerate enough to not do it very often to people.  

“I’m fine, and I don’t need to talk about anything,” he said sternly, walking past her. Then he felt a wave of guilt, because Raven, the one friend who was the least likely to reach out, was concerned. “But thanks for the offer.” 

—-

The next few weeks were quiet. Robin shared no more information about the Circus. He never said if he found Richard Grayson. In fact, he didn’t say much at all. He spent most of his days in his room. He admitted that he had been working in his office a lot of late nights, so he was taking naps during the downtime of the day. 

One night at dinner, Beast Boy asked a question that Robin dreaded. “So…I was walking past your room, and I heard a sewing machine?” 

Robin nearly dropped his fork. 

“What’s all that about?” 

Robin gnawed the inside of his cheek. “I’m working on a new costume.” 

Starfire nearly floated out of her chair. “Are you becoming Nightwing?!” 

“No, not quite,” he smiled at her enthusiasm. “I’m just…making a prototype.” Another lie. 

“Can we see it?” Cyborg asked. 

“When I’m done, I’ll show you.” Not a lie! 

—-

Soon, the date arrived. 

Robin banked on the fact that Beast Boy was too preoccupied by games to notice what he was wearing. Just in case, we wore a trench coat over his new costume. 

“Beast Boy, I have to leave early for the show, but I’m leaving your guys’ tickets on the counter with instructions.” 

“Okay Robby, see you later!” Beast Boy didn’t even turn around. 

Robin, the Boy Wonder, exited the tower, and Richard Grayson, the Last Flying Grayson, entered Jump City. 

—-

Hours later, the Titans assembled in the ops room, preparing to leave.

“Hey, where’s Robin?”

“Oh, he left hours ago,” Beast Boy said easily. “But I think he left a note around here somewhere…”

“You mean this?” Raven picked up the paper that was very clearly right in front of them. 

“Haha…yeah…” 

“Dear Titans, I went early to pick up Mr. Grayson. I have left your tickets for you. Your seat numbers are on them. Don’t wait for me, I will meet up with you during the show. Love, Robin.” 

“He can be so sweet,” Starfire smiled. 

“Yeah yeah, bunnies and flowers, can we go? I’m starving!” 

“Oh yeah baby! Carnival food!” 

“This isn’t a carnival, it’s a circus,” Raven corrected. 

“I hope they have popcorn! No! Pretzels!” 

“Whatever they have, I hope it’s deep fried and delicious!” 

They piled in the T-Car and made their way out to the edge of town. From even a few miles away, they could see the massive red and white tent, alight with search lights. 

“Whoa…” Beast Boy gawked. 

“Oh this is most exciting! Such an event on Tamaran would include the beheading of a shnerkel! Will any animals have their heads placed on pikes?” 

“Uh…no.” Beat Boy looked ill. “The circus is a fun place with no maiming.” 

“Actually,” said Cyborg. “I think their whole thing is death-defying stunts. So doing dangerous things to inspire awe.”  

“Fascinating! I believe Robin called that ‘thrill seeking’?”

“Similar,” Said Raven. “Maybe you should just wait and see. It's hard to explain.” 

They drove up to the gate, where a man in a purple clown costume waited. “Good evening! You must be the Teen Titans! Robin saved you a parking spot up front. Go ahead.” 

“Awww Robin saved us a place so I don’t have to worry about my baby getting scratched!” Cyborg sniffed. “You’re right Star, he really can be sweet sometimes.” 

Starfire giggled while Beast Boy made a gagging sound. 

Cyborg parked up front, next to Robin’s motorcycle, and then they made their way to the entrance of the tent. They passed the ticket stand that had a sign up that stated ‘Sold out’. Next to the door was a huge poster of a silhouette of an acrobat swinging on a trapeze. The font read ‘One night only, The Last Flying Grayson!’ The song of a calliope rang through the air.

“Sounds like we picked the right show to sponsor,” Cyborg noted. 

The tent was massive, with seating all the way around. Four giant poles held up the tent, which was blue with stars on the inside. 

“Tickets please,” said a woman in a glittery leotard. 

Starfire handed them over. 

“Of course! You’re the Titans. You’ll be sitting in the VIP box, in section A.” She pointed to a spot in the bleachers that was raised up and out a little, presumably for the best view. 

“We should sponsor more events,” Beast Boy grinned. 

“Enjoy the show!” The woman smiled, handing back the tickets. 

As they crossed the tent, Cyborg got a whiff of the concession stand. “I’m gettin’ in the food line before it gets too long. Whatchu guys want?” 

“Oh! I would like a hot dog with a gratuitous amount of mustard!” Starfire licked her lips at the very idea. 

“I’ll wait in line with you Cy,” said Beast Boy. 

“Raavveeennnn,” Cyborg sang. “They have pretzels!” 

“My day is made,” she droned. 

Starfire and Raven went to their seats to wait for the boys. 

“Where do you think Robin is?” Starfire asked, standing to peer through the crowd. People were still arriving and the stands were filling. 

“Couldn’t say,” Raven shrugged. “Maybe he gets to help the Ringmaster or something.” 

Like she summoned him, her communicator buzzed. “Robin to Starfire, come in, Starfire.” 

“This is Starfire. Where are you?” 

“You’ll see me soon. I need a favor.” 

“Anything!” 

“When I give the signal, I need you to prepare a Tamaranean discus maneuver.” 

“What? Why?” 

“Just trust me.” 

“Alright, you know best. Where do you wish me to aim you?” 

“At the center ring, the stage right in front of you, at the very center.” 

“What signal?” 

“Eyes on deck.” 

“When?” 

“You’ll see me. Don’t worry. And relax! Enjoy the show!” And he ended the call. 

“Uh, that’s weird.” Raven quirked a brow. 

“I hope there is no trouble.” 

“He said not to worry. Maybe he’s helping Mr. Grayson out in his act?” 

“Oh that would be wonderful! Robin is very good at the flipping!” 

“Acrobatics,” Raven corrected. 

Soon enough, the boys returned with arms full of all manner of popcorn, pretzels, hot dogs, soda, and cotton candy. “A hot dog and pretzel, for the ladies,” Beast Boy juggled over the two items, as well as two sodas. 

“Where’s my cheese?” Raven asked. 

“You didn’t say you wanted any.”

“My day is ruined,” she droned. 

Then, the lights dimmed, and a drumroll silenced all chatter. 

A spotlight illuminated a singular man in the center. The same portly, mustachioed man, wearing a red and gold suit with a top hat. “Ladies and gentlemen!” His voice carried throughout the tent. “Welcome to Haly’s Circus 3000! We would like to thank our generous benefactors for this special event, the Teen Titans!”

Another spotlight ignited on the group, unexpectedly, and they all smiled and waved awkwardly as the crowd applauded. 

“Tonight, you will witness performances the likes you’ve never seen! Prepare for awe, laughter, shock, and drama! Please, enjoy the show!”  

Sparklers ignited around the ring and the big band struck up a jaunty tune. From all the aisles came the performers. Clowns on stilts, women standing on horses, strong men carrying barrels, and even a bear on a unicycle. 

 Beast Boy shook Cyborg as he exploded with excitement. 

A man in a burgundy suit came to the center ring, holding a whip in one hand, and a giant hoop in the other. 

“Please direct your attention to the center ring, where you will see God’s mightiest creature come to heel. I present Marko, the Tiger Whisperer!” 

The audience cheered as the Ringmaster left. The man called Marko raised the hoop, and snapped his whip. 

From outside the tent came running a streak of black and orange. The tiger leapt into the ring, through the hoop, and skittered to a stop, like an overgrown puppy. 

The tamer pet his nose and fed him a treat. 

The audience and Titans watched with fascination as the tiger performed tricks that only extremely disciplined dogs could do. The act concluded with the tamer sticking his head in the tiger’s mouth. 

Starfire stood up with the crowd to applaud. 

Each act that followed was just as spectacular. 

There was a juggler that juggled flaming batons and chainsaws. A set of clowns bonked each other on the head with progressively larger and larger cartoonish hammers, and of course, the bear on the unicycle returned. 

“Does that give you fond memories, Cyborg?” Beast Boy joked. 

“It gives me memories alright. Fond? Not so much.”

“That bear is very talented!” Starfire cooed. 

“I’m surprised the unicycle hasn’t broken.” 

“And now, ladies and gentlemen,” called the Ringmaster once more, as the lights swirled over the audience. “The moment you’ve been looking forward to all night. A once in a lifetime opportunity. The living legacy himself! Performing high-flying death-defying stunts, 60 feet in the air, without the safety of a net, The Last Flying Grayson!” 

The spotlights turned and illuminated a young man, standing in the center ring. The haunting sound of an accordian playing a waltz filled the air. 

“Wait, is that–?” Beast Boy squinted. 

“It can’t be…” Cyborg gaped.

“But it must!” Starfire gleefully beamed. 

“No. Way.” 

The young man had black hair, styled into slicked back spikes. He wore a tight, sleeveless red tunic with yellow ties across the front. He had dark green tights, and a yellow sash instead of a utility belt. 

He had a sad smile on his mask-less face, along with face paint to make it look like he had a single tear on his cheek.

He bowed low, his arms back behind him. Then he flung back and flipped, once, twice, three times and landed on his feet. A swing, made of silk rope, descended down to him. He wrapped one side around his arm, and took measured steps in time with the music, until he broke into a run, and then twisted. He spun rapidly, gliding over the ground, and gradually raised into the air. The higher he raised, the more his body contorted, until he looked like he was twisted into a pretzel. It was all effortless, as his facial expression never changed. Just kept that look of bittersweet happiness. 

“How is he doing that?” Beast Boy asked as Robin held onto the loop with just one hand that reached between his legs while he did the splits. 

“I knew he was flexible, but…whoa.” 

A woman began to sing while he performed. A sad tune, haunting melody, and unknown words to everyone in the audience. 

Everyone, except Starfire. 

“Go, go child, go, you'll see, go.”

She knew these words were in a tongue that was not English, but she wasn’t sure how she knew them. Robin had been the only language assimilation she’d had since she’d been on Earth. But perhaps…

She learned it from him.

“Go and you'll see that a smile often hides a great sorrow. Go and you'll see the madness of mankind.”

As he contorted, Robin twisted the rope around himself, forming a cocoon, until he reached the very top. Then, he pulled a pin on one side and he fell, unraveling like a ball of yard. 

He stopped about a foot from the bottom, posed with one leg up by his head. 

The audience cheered and whistled, but the only one who stayed totally silent was Starfire. Not because she wasn’t enjoying the show, but because she was mesmerized by him. 

“Madness of mankind without righteousness, go. Madness of warriors without fear, go.”

Robin wrapped back up in the silk rope and soared through the tent, waving at the crowd as he passed by. 

The swing raised up further, and reached the height of a platform that was built into the main beams of the tent. Up here, there were several bars, some stationary, and some hanging on wires. 

“Madness of a child full of life who, playing at paradise as a soldier, was killed.”

He simply turned and stepped onto the platform, and offered a little bow. 

He raised his arms, took two steps, and leapt, gliding out to a bar on wires. He swung out, flying over the crowd effortlessly, before he flipped and grabbed the next bar with his legs. At the peak of his swing, he flipped off the bar, spun in a tight ball, and landed on a platform on the opposite side of the tent. 

The crowd clapped. 

Oh, but he wasn’t done. Of course not! He ran and leapt again, catching the bar as it swung back. He used the momentum to swing all the way around the bar several times, getting faster and faster before he let go and flung himself up high. There, he tucked into a ball and rotated twice and caught another bar. He swung on that quickly and shot up again. At the crest of his arc, he hugged his arms to his chest and twisted, turning sideways and upside down. 

The audience watched as he came down, and reached for the next bar…

And missed. 

“No!” Starfire was on her feet, ready to fly out and catch him, only to watch him fall about ten feet before he twisted again and caught a different bar with his legs. 

The audience went wild. 

Starfire nearly collapsed with relief. 

“Where fortune walks, you can't reach there with the heart anymore.”

He swung backwards, before hooking his feet around the wires and contorting backwards to climb up to stand on the bar. Once it reached the peak swing, he dropped down to his hands and swung, using momentum to swing out far and fast. From here, he leapt onto a hanging hoop. He hooked one leg around the hoop and braced the other inside, then relaxed his torso and threw his hands out. He glided over the audience, nearly touching them. Then he passed the Titans and gave them all high fives with a big smile. 

He winked at Starfire. 

The hoop rapidly rose up high into the tent, as someone pulled it on the other end. 

At the top of the tent, there was a thin wire from post to post, about a hundred feet long, and 70 feet up. The accordion and woman ended their song. 

“And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, The Flying Grayson will become the Balancing Grayson, as he performs the tightrope walk!” 

The crowd ‘oo’ed. 

Robin withdrew his bow staff from his belt, extended it, and very carefully started walking across the tightrope. 

The drums below rolled as he shuffled forward, a little more, a little more…

Suddenly, it looked like he lost his balance as he started swaying and trying to over correct. Then he jerked to one side and fell—

Only to once again catch himself, with one hand on the rope. He flipped back up easily, before stowing the staff again, then he gave an exaggerated shrug and flipped forward, walking the tightrope on his hands. 

The crowd went ballistic. 

After a few feet, he flipped again, placing one foot down, then the other, then turning and doing a backbend. Up on his hands, then his feet, then he did a front flip, a cartwheel; a full balance beam routine before reaching the other side. 

He raised his hands to quiet the roaring crowds. 

He took out his staff again, and ran out onto the tightrope. A little before the halfway point, he extended the staff and vaulted up to balance on top of it! He had one hand out, the rest of his body completely straight with his arm. Then, slowly, he transferred the connection point to his forehead. 

“Dude…” Beast boy gaped.

Robin balanced on a tightrope, on his staff, on his forehead. The drums rolled.

He gave a little shake of his hands and the band played a cheerful ‘ta-da!’ 

His friends clapped and cheered, only to be drowned out by the uproar of the crowd. 

Robin flipped backwards onto the rope, tucking his baton back into his sash. He watched the swinging bars below and timed it perfectly as he leapt, fell thirty feet, and grabbed the bar expertly. 

He whirled through the air, catching bar after bar in more and more precarious ways, like while he was spinning in a somersault, or by just one hand. He even dangled by just one foot. 

Starfire watched with awe as he performed, laughter and joy bubbling out of him each time he landed a trick. 

It was a side of Robin she’d never seen before. 

He was…beautiful. 

Of course, she and many other ladies (and probably several men) thought that Robin was cute, handsome, and ‘oh em gee a total hottie’ but seeing him right now, in this environment…he was just beautiful. 

Like a galaxy made of an ocean of stars and colors, he was beautiful like a force of nature. His thin frame was deceitful to the strength he held. His ropey muscles had mostly been hidden under loose sleeves and gloves. But Starfire could see them plainly now, and hard at work, twisting under his skin with each aerial feat. The contours of his body were distinct with the skin tight costume. The peak of the human form, a rib cage, surrounded by bands of muscle, a chest with a rapidly beating heart. Even his fingers held incredible strength, as he dangled carelessly from just the tips. 

A force of nature. A human in the most definite form. 

Utterly mesmerizing.  

Robin arched his back, hanging from his ankles with his arms far behind him. He swung his arms, pumping his body to climb higher and higher. He let go, somersaulting in the air, once, twice–five times, before landing on the tips of his toes on a platform. His silk rope dangled off to the side, and he used it to climb all the way back to the top, where the tightrope was. 

Once up there, he looked down, right to her. He pointed two fingers at his eyes, then to her. 

Eyes on deck.

The signal. 

Starfire floated out of her seat, up about ten feet, to provide plenty of clearance for what he had in mind. 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he spoke into a mic way up there. “Thank you so much for coming out tonight for my special performance. And to the Teen Titans, thank you for making this event even more special. I knew I had to design my costume after Robin when I heard you guys were going to be here.” 

He was such a liar. 

“For my final trick, I will need the assistance of a beautiful young woman from the audience.” He pretended to glance around for only a second before exclaiming, “oh Starfire of the Teen Titans! Thank you for volunteering! Give her a hand folks!” 

There was an applause, along with laughter, as this had obviously been planned. Starfire giggled as Cyborg shouted, “yeah that’s our girl!” 

Robin crawled out on the tightrope, pinwheeling one leg around his body, and then the other. When he reached the middle of the rope, he held his arms out to the side. 

A drum roll went up. 

He dropped, catching himself with his fingers, and began to swing faster and faster until he was rocketing around the wire, gaining speed. 

Then he let go and soared.  

Arms out wide like wings, he whooped as he flew. 

Then he started to fall, but he had no fear. He was falling right towards her, and she’d catch him. 

Starfire floated a couple extra feet, eager to make contact with her friend. She caught him with her hands coming to rest on his ribcage, while he took hold of her shoulders. 

“Hi Star,” he beamed, piercing her soul with those vibrant blue eyes. 

“Hello,” she smiled back, her heart in her throat. Then she twisted, never letting gravity have a turn with him in this dance. She spun, her grip dragging down to his arms.

Once, twice, three times she spun him, before she let him go. Letting go this time was so different from everytime they performed this maneuver on the field. She wasn’t flinging him into an attack. There was no enemy waiting. 

She was throwing him into the end of his act. The end of this beautiful, sacred moment. 

Robin twisted in the air and grabbed his staff from his sash. He extended it and dug it into the center of the ring, slowing his descent. He spun around it, his limbs just gliding across the surface as he slowed more and more. 

He ended with one leg wrapped around the staff, while the other kicked out. He leaned back and threw his arms out and laughed. 

It was like he was mocking the crowd. I flew, his laughter said, I got to fly and you didn’t. 

“Ladies and gentlemen! The Last Flying Grayson!” 

Robin got to his feet as the crowd stood, screaming and cheering. He bowed once again, and then departed out of the ring, choosing to cartwheel and backflip out. 

Starfire was stuck floating in the air, tears streaming down her face, as a bittersweet smile came over her face. 

“You coming down?” Cyborg asked.

She nodded awkwardly and sank back into her seat. 

“You okay?” Raven asked, offering the edge of her cape to wipe her tears.

“I am only sad it is over,” she lamented. 

“No worries!” Cyborg chirped. “I recorded the whole thing!” He tapped his head. “You can watch it over again whenever you want!” 

“Oh glorious!” She clapped her hands together, feeling slightly better. 

Of course, watching a video would never be the same as watching it in person, but it would have to be enough. 

“You guys enjoying the show?” A voice asked from behind them.

They turned in shock as Robin, back in his normal costume and mask appeared behind them. He crouched and stole a handful of Beast Boy’s popcorn. 

“That Richard Grayson is something else! Did you see that tightrope act? I wonder how long it took him to perfect that!”

Starfire grabbed him by the front of the shirt and pulled him into a hug. “It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen!” 

Robin blushed, as she had basically pulled him into her lap, but he hugged her back, nonetheless.

“I wouldn’t say it like that,” said Beast Boy, “but it was certainly the craziest thing I’ve ever seen!” 

“I knew you had some skill, but I get so focused on the martial arts part, I don’t even think about your acrobatics!” Said Cyborg. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Raven asked, not accusatory, just curious. 

“Uh…” he pulled at his collar. “It’s like…really hard for me to talk about. I figured just showing you would be easier.” He adjusted his grip on Starfire, resigned to the fact he was sitting in her lap. He couldn’t get out of the hug if he tried. “It’s…it’s been 10 years. 10 years ago today that they…my parents…” He swallowed harshly. “Haly knew. He knew I would spend the day crying and in self loathing. It still hurts, and it might never stop, but by being able to do this…it was kinda like…being with them again.” 

Starfire hugged him tighter, burying her face in his shoulder. 

“You seemed to have fun. Are you gonna do it again someday?” 

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably not.” 

Eventually, Starfire let him go so that he could sit next to her instead. She still held his arm, too emotional to let him go completely, and honestly, he didn’t mind so much. 

They all watched the end of the show together, a rancorous applause as almost all the performers came out and took their bows. 

Then, the lights came up, and everyone was free to go. 

Robin released a little sigh. It was hard, but it had been worth it. He felt happier and more content than he expected he’d feel today. 

“So,” Raven began. “Are you going to introduce us to your friends, or what?” 

“Oh yes! I should very much like to meet your elephant!” 

Robin smiled. “Whatever you guys want.” 

—

They waited for the crowds to thin before Robin led them to another tent. Here, all manner of performers lounged about, some still in costumes and makeup. When the Titans entered, attention swiveled to them. 

“Dickie Bird!” 

Then there was an onslaught of ‘way to go’s and ‘atta boy’s, accompanied with affectionate head rubs and back pats. Robin took it all in stride, vainly fixing his hair afterwards. “Uh…thanks guys. It means a lot. Um, these are my friends, The Teen Titans. Cyborg, Beast Boy, Raven, and Starfire.” 

“It is good to meet you all in person,” Mr. Haly himself said, shaking their hands. “Tonight was a smashing success. Thank you for all your help.” 

“Uh, gotta be honest man, we just showed up tonight. Robin took care of everything. If anything, we should be thanking you guys for the amazing show!” 

“Nevertheless, attaching your name to the show really brought the crowds in! We’re back, baby!” 

Robin smiled, thrilled to see Haly’s Circus thriving. 

“So,” Beast Boy began, talking quietly to Robin, but everyone heard him. “Everyone here knows who you are, huh?” 

Robin blushed, embarrassed. “Yep.” 

“You think a little piece of fabric would keep us from recognizing ol’ Dickie Bird?” A man with smudged paint on his face asked. “Even if you did grow a bit.” He nudged Robin. 

A strong man spoke up, with a heavy Russian accent. “Your friends, they do not know how you got the name Robin?” 

“Hey yeah!” Cyborg said, vexed. “How come we don’t know? Does anyone know?” 

Robin rubbed the back of his head. “It’s…kind of embarrassing.” 

“Please share!” Starfire asked, linking her fingers around his arm. 

Robin sighed. “So…I was born on the first day of spring, so my mom always called me her little Robin.” 

“Aww,” said Beast Boy. “That’s sweet!” 

Robin continued. “She said it so often, it became kind of like a stage name, though never officially since I only performed with my parents. But we did talk about me having a solo act as I got older, under the name ‘Robin, the Boy Wonder’. When I joined Batman, I was 8 and didn’t know any better and used the same name.” He gave a little shrug. “I don’t even think Batman knows.” 

“Oh, he knows,” said Haly with a laugh. “Shortly after your debut, he sent me a strongly worded email telling me not to tell anyone or there would be consequences.” 

Robin rolled his eyes. “Did you respond to that nonsense?” 

“You know, I did? I told him you were our boy and that we wouldn’t do anything to put you into harm’s way…which is why we let that playboy billionaire adopt you, despite the fact he clearly didn’t know how to raise a kid. Anyways, I asked Batman if he was in the habit of sending kids to fight on the street. And you know what he told me? He said that you went after Anthony Zucco yourself, at 8 years old. He found you out there and you told him you weren’t going to stop looking for Zucco until he was dead or behind bars.” 

“Toughest eight year old I ever heard of,” Raven said, actually sounding impressed. 

“So, I let it go. But, we've been keeping an ear out for you.” 

Robin wasn’t all that surprised that Batman had basically threatened his extended family, but he was proud that Haly didn’t put up with his bullshit. 

It also sounded like they didn’t know that Bruce Wayne was Batman. So that was a relief. 

“It was Donna’s idea to reach out to you,” Haly continued. “I didn’t know if it was a good idea, but you don’t know until you take a chance, right?” 

The woman that had taken the tickets came up to him and put an arm around his shoulder. “We still love you, Dickie Bird, and I knew we had to take that chance to see you.” 

“Dickie Bird?” Beast Boy asked Cyborg, in a hush. 

Another man started whistling a happy tune, before a few others joined in singing, “a Dickie Bird whispered ‘haven’t you heard? Spring is here, spring is here, spring is here’.” 

Then Robin finished, “And you and I fell in love in reply on hearing the Dickie bird’s news.” His smile was tight. “I…had forgotten they sang that. But I guess I never forgot the song.” 

Donna gave him a loving pinch to his cheek. “Now Dick, there’s something we wanted to give you. We found this in the archives, and we thought  you would want it.” She retrieved a tube from a table, and two of the strong men opened it up and unraveled the large poster inside. 

The Flying Graysons

New Addition 

Dick, Our Boy Wonder

It was the poster from his debut show, three years before the accident. 

“Is that you?” Starfire asked, nearly cooing. “You were so small.” 

“Still is,” Cyborg grinned. 

“Yeah,” Robin breathed. “Thanks Donna. It means a lot.” 

“Of course, baby. Now, we’re gonna put the poster from tonight in there too, so you can have both, okay?” 

Robin just nodded. 

Starfire could see this was hard for him, and just laid a hand on his shoulder. 

“Why don’t you go say hello to Zitka?” Donna urged. “I’m sure she missed you.” 

“Will she remember you?” Cyborg asked. 

Robin chuckled, “well, they say an elephant never forgets.” 

—-

When they returned to the tower, Robin shut Richard Grayson away in the closet, where he belonged, along with both posters. Just a skeleton of his past life. He was Robin now, all the time. 24/7. 

Whenever Starfire tried to talk about it, he deflected the topic. Not harshly or cruelly, he just decided not to answer her directly. 

It broke her heart. 

About a week later, she sat on the rooftop, looking at the moon, that haunting accordion tune playing in her mind, the silhouette of her friend against the curtain was just a shadow on the surface. 

“Hey…you okay?” Robin’s voice asked from the door. “You were pretty quiet today.” 

She wasn’t sure if she could handle a conversation with him right now. All she wanted was to talk about his performance. She had questions and observations, and she just wanted to share it all with him. She couldn’t bear hearing him shut it all down again. 

“You know you can talk to me,” he said softly, resting a hand on her shoulder. 

“Can I?” She asked just as softly. 

“Of course.” 

“It is…about the circus.” 

He frowned. 

She prepared herself for the wall that was about to drop. 

Instead, he took a seat beside her, legs crossed in front of him. “I’m sorry. You’ve been trying to talk about it all week and…like I said, it’s really hard for me to talk about.” 

“I understand. I have things in my life that are equally difficult to share.” She reached out and touched the side of his face, where the painted tear had been. “I just…admired your performance so much. You were most joyous. I have seen you happy, but never like that. I would like to share that experience with you again. Perhaps then maybe one day, it will not be so hard to talk about?” 

Robin was quiet for a long time, considering it. Then he offered a small smile. “I’ll think about it.”

She returned the smile. “That’s all I ask.” 

—

Another week passed. Robin seemed to clam right back up. 

Starfire was resigned to the fact that that one night at the circus was all anyone was ever going to see. And she had to be fine with it. So what if he was her best friend? It was his tragedy, and only he could decide who he’d share it with. 

But then, late one night, there was a knock at her bedroom door. 

“Hello?” She asked, as she answered. 

There was no one there, but there was a package at her feet. A brown paper wrapped parcel, with a note on it. 

‘Starfire, 

Please put this on and meet me in the training room. 

-Love, Robin’ 

Curious, she ripped the paper off, only to find a purple piece of cloth, nearly the same color as her uniform. She unraveled it, surprised to find a suit made of stretchy material. It was purple but had silvery accents and glittery beads all over the front. 

It was so pretty! She held it up and did a little twirl, then rushed to put it on. 

It wasn’t a completely perfect fit, but it was comfortable and not too tight. She zipped through the tower in haste to get to the training room. 

Richard Grayson was there, dangling from his ankle from a bar hanging from the ceiling. He looked at her as she entered. 

“Oh wow!” He chirped, flipping off to land on his feet. “That turned out great! I wasn’t sure if it would fit, because I measured a spare uniform that obviously doesn’t have all the measurements—”

“You made this?”

“...yeah? I made all my uniforms. Always have.” 

“There is so much I do not know about you, Richard Grayson,” she smirked, coming closer. 

He blushed, but smiled at her. “It’s so weird hearing you say that name.” 

“Why do you look at me in such a way?” She asked, tilting her head. 

“What way? I’m just…looking at you. I mean, you’re pleasant to look at, but if I’m staring I’m not meaning to!” Shutupshutupshutupshutup!

“You mean to say this is how you look at me when your mask is on as well?”

“Yes?” Was that a good thing? Or was he in trouble now? Did he hurt her feelings? Was he leering? Glaring?

A pretty blush dusted her cheeks as her smile deepened, though it looked like she was trying not to show it.  

He cleared his throat. “Um…would you like to…learn some moves?” 

Her eyes glistened. When she asked if he would share with her, she had expected him to just talk, not this! “Yes please!” 

“Alright.” He ran and leapt, grabbing hold of the bar, then he contorted so he could hang upside down, his feet hooked around the wires. “Okay, come here and hold my arms, facing the same direction as me.” 

She gleefully did, having to hover a little to reach. 

“Okay, you’re going to push off that box to get us swinging.”

She did, and thrust her legs to pick up momentum. 

“Good! Now just do it in time with me so we pick up maximum height.” 

“Can I not just fly us up?” 

“You could, but where’s the fun in that?” 

She giggled. “You always have a certain way to do things.” 

“That I do!” 

They swung together, making the bar go farther and farther out. 

“Okay, now I want you to kick up and try to hook your feet with my calves. Don’t worry if it takes a couple of times.” 

 Using her super strength, she easily flipped up and hooked her legs with his. She was going to tease him about how good she already was, until she realized the extremely intimate position this put them in. They were completely pressed together, and she saw straight into his blue eyes. “Oh,” she whispered. 

“What?” He smirked. 

“We are close.” 

“Yep. That’s part of the experience. Now, put your arms around my neck.” 

She did so, amazed that they could get any closer. 

He had kept the swing moving despite being nervous about having Starfire so close, and effortlessly, he flipped them right side up so he was sitting on the bar and she was in his lap. “Ta-da!” 

She couldn’t help but giggle again. 

“Hey Star?”

“Yes Robin?”

“Thank you.”

“I should be the one thanking you. This is very sweet. What made you finally share?” 

He kicked his legs so they stayed gliding through the air. “For the longest time, Trapeze represented falling instead of flying like it should. I figured…if anyone would understand flying, it would be you. So…” He avoided eye contact, feeling awkward. That was the dumb answer.

“That I do,” she grinned softly, tenderly. Her heart was full, she thought she might just burst. “What next?” 

“Grab hold of the wires, then put your feet on the bar, right here.” He patted the space next to his hips. 

She stood, sort of, and made a ‘v’ with her body. 

“I’ll lean back, and you stand up straight. 1…2…3!”

Starfire readjusted her grip on the wires and stood, looking down. She watched as Robin fell backwards, and then disappeared. “What…?”

The weight on the bar shifted, and suddenly he was behind her, arms around her waist, and chin on her shoulder. 

“How did you do that?”  

“Trade secret,” he chuckled. “Now, when I tell you to, I want you to let go and bring your knees up.” 

“But I am holding the wire, and you are holding me. If I let go…” 

“Trust me Star,” he said earnestly. “You’ll love this.” 

“Alright. I am ready when you are.” 

He tightened his hold on her waist. “And…go!” 

Starfire let go of the wire, tucked her knees, and instinctually clenched her eyes shut. She let out a loud ‘EEP!’ as she felt them fall backwards together. Then she flipped all the way around, before they came to a swinging stop. She peeled her eyes open to find herself parallel with the ground, being held by the hips. 

She craned her neck to look at Robin, who was hanging by his knees. “Ta-da!” He chuckled. “It’s probably not all that exciting since you can fly on your own.” 

She laughed and placed her arms out in front of her, like she did when she flew. “Contrariwise, it is very exciting! I am not prepared for what you are going to do. I am not in control.” 

“So this is a good trust exercise then!” 

“You have my trust, Robin,” she said so sincerely, so confidently, it brought a pang to his heart. He trusted her too. With his life, with his past, with his heart—

Starfire noticed he was using her like a pendulum to gain height again. So, she flew, just a little, just to get the bar moving. 

“Ready Star?” He called down. 

“What is happening?!” 

“Here we go!” 

Starfire let out a shriek this time as he yanked her upwards and let go, only to grab her a second later and hug her to himself. She fell to sit sideways in his lap as he sat on the bar. 

“Did I scare you?”

“Only for a moment!” She giggled, the joy in her soul bubbling over. She wrapped her arms around his neck for a better hold. 

Robin lazily kicked his foot to keep them moving, but otherwise just enjoyed having her close. What a thought. They weren’t even talking. 

He shook his head, a little embarrassed by himself. 

“What is it?” She asked sweetly. 

“Nothing, just thought of something ironic.” 

“Would you please share your ironic thought?” 

He held his breath. 

Well.

He was Richard Grayson right now. No mask, no polymerized titanium cape, and Starfire was sitting on his lap. 

Couldn’t really get more vulnerable than that, right?

He exhaled. “I was just thinking…I lost the two people I loved the most to a fall. But I don’t have to worry about losing the girl I love, because she can fly.” He offered a small smile. 

“Me?” Her eyes brightened. 

He just nodded. 

“Robin, you truly love me?” 

“Yeah,” he whispered. 

She touched his face, gently drifting her thumb over his cheek. “The feeling is mutual.” 

His shoulders sagged in relief, and his smile grew. 

“Shall we initiate lip contact?” 

He barked a laugh, not because it was funny, but because it was so Starfire that it brought him immense joy. Instead of answering, he just leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. 

Starfire smiled into the kiss and hugged him tighter. Thankfully not too tight, as she had a tendency to get carried away with these things. 

As they pulled away, they stayed close, just savoring the moment. 

As Robin was in what was probably the happiest moment of his young life, it all shattered in front of his face. Like a bucket of ice water, the sound of three people clapping slapped against his face. 

Well, a cyborg, changeling, and an empath. 

Robin whipped his head around to stare at the intruders. 

“Bravo! Encore!” 

“Bravissimo!” 

“Yay.” 

“How…long…have you guys been there?” 

“Dude, like, the whole time. When I saw Starfire dressed like a purple disco ball, I knew something like this was going down.” 

“The pageantry! The drama! The action! The romance! Best show I’ve seen all week,” Cyborg smirked. 

“Congrats on the kissing,” said Raven, who seemed genuinely happy for them in her own way. 

Robin sighed. He should have known better. 

“So are you going to teach us how to acrobat?” Asked Beast Boy. 

“Do we have to sit on your lap too?” Asked Cyborg, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“As long as I get a sparkly leotard, I’ll be happy,” Raven made a rare joke. 

Robin was far too embarrassed to retort to any of that, so he just hid his face in Starfire’s shoulder. 

“Dudes! We can start our own circus! We have a full set! And we could all learn Trapeze from Robin and do a whole show! We can call it, ‘The Teen Swingers Club’.” 

Cyborg and Robin burst out laughing while Raven desperately tried not to. 

“What? What’s so funny?” 

“Yes, I do not understand the joke either.” 

Robin whispered the meaning to her quietly before she also burst out laughing. 

“Aw man. I hate it when my best jokes are accidents.” 

“The best things that happen to you are accidents,” Raven quipped. “You probably were an accident.” 

“Hey!” He barked, offended. 

Starfire giggled and rested her head on Robin’s chest. “Do not be embarrassed, Robin. For I could not hide what happened from our friends, and this way we do not have to tell them.” 

He sighed. He supposed that was a bonus. 

Besides, he had started this trend of showing vulnerability instead of talking about his feelings. Why stop now? 

“Hang on,” Robin told Starfire. 

She gleefully squeezed tighter as he fell backwards, and the rest of the Titans cheered. 

—

The next day, both posters were hanging proudly in the training room, right by the acrobatics equipment.

[msweebyness]

Can we see the future kids for class of villainy or class of heroes?

Here are the akuma/theater kids for class of villainy! I’ve got a separate post for heroes! Keep an eye out for Artzy with the recess/science! NOTE: Kimdine is not included because LeOnDine eventually breaks things off with Kimton, a la Live Action LeFou.

Polycule:

Emma:

She/Her

Age 16

Bio parents Adrien/Marinette

A bit unstable, edgy and always eager to make someone’s life hell

Social media influencer, who uses her status to gain lackeys and power

Spoiled as all hell, and a fashionista like her bio mom

Everything HAS to go her way, or else

Louie:

He/Him

Age 14

Bio Parents Luka/Kagami

Very chill in an ominous way, you never know what he’s thinking

Can see people’s auras, and uses this to get under their skin

Master manipulator, it’s hard to say no to him

Likes to play guitar with his bio dad

Has the serious hots for Darius

Hugo:

He/Him

Age 10

Bio Parents Luka/Marinette

Very superficially sweet and charming, able to get people on his side

Learning sorcery from Adrien and his aunt Juleka

Enjoys sports, especially ones where he can leave people in pain

Has a lot of energy, but can focus in on a scheme

Best friends with Hector, they both like pushing people around

Alison:

She/Her

Age 6

Bio Parents Adrien/Kagami

Stoic and terrifying, just like her bio mother

Rarely speaks, but you better listen when she does

Already alarmingly proficient with a sword

Only smiles when she sees someone get hurt

Calculating and intelligent, knows how to play things in her favor

Alyno:

(Twins)

Cecily “CeCe”:

She/Her

Age 16

Quarter Fox Hybrid

As skilled at potions as her mother, Alya couldn't be prouder

Loves to find out people's secrets and humiliate them by broadcasting them to the world on her website

VERY good at playing on your insecurities to weaken you

Can fly into a rage at a moment's notice if things don't go her way

Always arguing with her brother

Cody:

He/Him

Age 16

Quarter Fox Hybrid

Easygoing and charming, knows how to get on people's good sides

A better conman than even his father, and Nino is so proud

Can pick ten people's pockets in five minutes

He likes to make comic books in his free time, naturally with villainous central characters

Totally crazy about June, but too scared of her dad to make a move

Julerose:

Marek:

He/They

Age 17

Both are his bio moms, through magic

Can switch from psychotically cheerful to deathly serious in a heartbeat

Prefers not to speak unless necessary, they let their actions talk for him

A master shapeshifter, like his uncle

REALLY hates to lose, and not afraid to use magic to cheat

Myvan:

Juniper “June”:

She/Her

Age 16

Boogie/Sea Witch Hybrid

Papa's little helper when it comes to scaring, she plans to take over once he retires

Terrifying without even trying, girl's intimidating as hell

Has one hell of a temper, watch what you say around her

Injures people because it amuses her

Protective of those close to her

Returns Cody's feelings, but would prefer if her dad didn't kill him

Hector:

He/Him

Age 10

Boogie/Sea Witch Hybrid

Gifted with dark ocean magic, just like his mother

HUGE for his age, and incredibly strong

Serves as the muscle for his mom's deals, makes sure people stay in line

Stoic and intimidating, people naturally fear him

Has a soft spot for animals, especially sea creatures

NathMarc:

Elicia:

She/Her

Age 17

Bio Dad Marc, an old ‘associate/friend’ in the dark magic ring was their surrogate

As psychotic as her daddy, as vindictive as her papa, and as evil as both combined

Incredibly proud and vain about her looks, Marc made sure of that. (He'll poison anyone who dares insinuate his daughter isn't the fairest)

Cruel in both words and actions, will utterly destroy you and love it

Always gets what she wants, because it's illegal to tell her no (Wonderland Law #342, instated by King Nathaniel)

Fiercely possessive and protective of her girlfriend, Destiny

Sabrinelmar:

(Delmar is Mr. Snoops, but they get along FAR better, to the point they eventually fall in love!)

Darius:

He/They

Age 14

Adopted at 7

Possibly the best schemer of the entire lot, he plans for everything

Loves diamonds and all things shiny, just like their mother

Really good at stirring the masses, getting people on his side on a large scale

Hates animals, especially ones that shed fur

Has a serious crush on Louie

Alix:

River:

They/Them

Age 13

Tiger Hybrid, Found and adopted by Alix at 1

Fears nothing and will never back down from a challenge

Lets everyone know they will rule the jungle one day, and tolerates no disrespect

Has no qualms with attacking other hybrids to assert dominance, just like their mom taught them

Words are always vicious and cut like a knife, they know how to get to someone

Very cunning and can work a situation to their advantage

Breckvie:

Destiny:

Age 17

She/Her

Quarter-Hyena Hybrid

Kind of the mom of the second gen villains, will maim you if you hurt her friends

Very prim and proper, always carries an air of superiority

Inherited her mother's magical abilities, and loves to see the life draining away from things around her

Thinks of Elicia as the most beautiful girl in the world, and will scratch your eyes out if you disagree

Reagan:

Age 12

She/Her

Quarter-Hyena Hybrid

Like her father, not the brightest bulb in the box, but always up to help with a scheme

Incredibly fast and strong, serves as muscle for the group when needed

Limited magic abilities, but can throw a decently strong hex

Big daddy's girl, loves helping him with henchman work

Milo:

Age 9

He/Him

Quarter-Hyena Hybrid

Creepily cheerful, can smile through the most gruesome events

Has an uncanny ability to bond with animals, uses this for their schemes

Also has some magical abilities, mostly used for pranks

Incredibly perceptive and good at reading people

Jessthony:

Warren:

Age 15

He/They

Monster, Adopted at 3

More on the neutral side, but still enjoys scaring people out of their wits every now and then

Will hit you with the claws if you sufficiently annoy him, or if you say anything bad about his dads

Has a biting sense of snark, and can cut a person deeply if they give him a reason to

Like Anthony, he has camouflage abilities, and uses them so people will leave them alone, not the most social

Has a bit of a rivalry with June, and does NOT like her parents

Cand-Yeon:

Kirk:

Age 16

He/Him

Septarian, Adopted at 2

Intelligent and cunning, can bend any situation to his benefit

Will confront any situation head on, because he knows he can regenerate

Like his mother, he's a natural leader. People listen when he gives commands

Incredibly condescending and belittling towards those he views as beneath him, with little patience for foolishness

Has a huge crush on Mellie, and is very carefully planning how to make his move

Ayesha:

Mellie:

Age 15

They/Them

Created by Ayesha with dark magic, and imbued with all her powers

Enjoys using their shapeshifting abilities to scare the crap out of people

Psychotically cheerful, always has a smile on their face when doing harm to others

Loves anything and everything morbid and gothic, always dressed in black

Always teasingly flirting with Kirk, making him flustered

@artzychic27 @imsparky2002

[verdemoun]

hehe hows seans fathers day experience

oh. oh this is PERSONAL. because you know what. i am stealing your own damn post and overanalyzing the crap out of it.

Darragh Macguire died in June. why am i providing evidence i don't know i have just thought through this question so hard. we don't have many confirmed dates in rdr2 but colter takes place in early spring (march?), few days here and there, few weeks moving camps, blessed are the peacemakers yada yada ya did you know it's entirely possible sean died before June. he died so young he died before the 10th anniversary of Darragh's death.

and then maybe, maybe he's so bamboozled trying to learn modern era keeping track of dates is not a priority. maybe it's the start of autumn/fall. all the leaves are going orange and gold and brown and he loves fall and in panic remembers wait i lost my da in summer. he remembers quietly, in a kind of somber in a way that to most don't associate with the irish terrier and it feels weird. almost wrong. it's been 10 years since da died. technically been over 110+ years.

hey what's the date today

he missed the anniversary of his da's death. and it bothers him so much he has to pull up that wall of i'm the unstoppable sean macguire so high that no one knows whats bothering him. if anything, they think sean is just his usual loud self to such an obnoxious extreme because he just really loves fall and crushing leaves and sprinting through parks alone and going to parties and hanging out with other young people outside the gang and drinking

just losing weeks of time being young and his own personal brand of reckless until he can will himself to forget he's a terrible ungrateful son who's da died, was murdered, trying to give him a new life and he forgot to do anything on the anniversary of his death

give it a year. it's been a year in modern era. he's got hosea, lenny, kieran, arthur. known bessie for a year and she's pretty damned cool. he's learned about da is a folk hero and been back to ireland and seen and learned so much about his da, the self-educated genius, the rebel, the politician and activist who is remembered by history.

june's coming up and he's ready. he knows exactly what he's going to do he's going to go to a bar and have a pot of beer the proper irish way and a smoke by himself on a warm summer night and just remember his da and how much he loves him and how much darragh loved him.

but then bessie's quietly preparing for father's day. which is a new concept to the gang. first time people even spoke about father's day was 1910 it wasn't a thing in gang era and it takes place in june. bessie explaining oh it's sort of a silly thing but it's a day for celebrating and remembering fathers most people buy a little present or knick-knack of some kind just as a way of showing they love and appreciate their fathers

sean immediately softening to the idea. thinks it's awesome. knows exactly what he's going to do. gives her some cash to buy something nice for hosea from him but he needs a little bit of bessie's help. she's much better at planning things even though he wants to do it alone and she knows all about darragh and understands why he wants to go all the way to boston.

gets on a flight all by himself because he might hate flying but being on a bus for multiple days would similiarly drive him insane. gets to land in boston and it's not. the same. like some things are familiar he can see a few old brownstones from the 19th century but he's walking around just kind of looking at things. looking at street signs and finally walking a street that's completely changed. not even sure if it's that street anymore or if the whole layout has changed or if he didn't remember it as well as he did but walking past the completely changed location he lost his da.

he finds a nice park to sit in. gets out his things. a clumsy bouquet of flowers half squashed in his bag because that's what you take to graves (darragh not having a grave because his body was taken by the british agency), a beer for him, a beer for his da, some brain puzzle keychain they were selling the father's day section that he thought darragh would've loved if he was there. lights his cigarette and just gets to mourn but also celebrate all the good things he remembers about his da

ends up having to run from police because you can't smoke or drink in public parks in modern era and cackling because how else would sean macguire end up celebrating father's day if not running from police

[wreywrites]

The Ones We Carry

Summer of Bad Batch Week 4

Prompts: Cadets & “You really think you’re going without me? Not going to happen.”

A/N: Flashbacks for this and Jedi June? Apparently. Also I'm a day late. These prompts were a struggle for me (idk man) and I'm still not totally sold on this one but in the spirit of not getting bogged down, I'm posting it and moving on. Warnings: Not-so-fond memories of Kamino, Crosshair gets to swear a little, as a treat AO3

“How do you know him?” Omega asked as the recorded holo came to an end.

Zara, arms crossed, frown etched on her face, said, “I’ve known him for a long time.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s safe to go running when he asks nicely,” Hunter said with an equal frown.

“He’s not going to turn me—”

“I knew Cid for a long time, and look what she did,” Echo growled. “I vote no.”

“It’s not a kriffing vote.” Zara ground her teeth. She liked the guys, but she was an adult, and a trained Jedi, and didn’t need them to always be babying her and breathing down her neck in the name of keeping her safe. “I’m going, because my people asked me to.”

“Oh, he’s ‘your people’ now?”

“What about us?”

“Listen!” she snapped. “Last time I saw him was years ago on Kamino, telling the shinies stories about flying fighters in—” She stopped at the looks on their faces. “What?”

“Kamino?” Crosshair hissed.

Hunter worked his jaw. “So he was a bounty hunter.”

“No, he wasn’t then and I’d bet you the bounty I’m worth that he’s not now—”

“That is precisely the issue,” Tech said. “As a Jedi, you are worth a substantial bounty, one that would make almost any galactic citizen willing to turn you over to the Empire. What is to say this one won’t seize the opportunity?”

She shook her head. “I’m going.” She slammed a datachip on the table. “This will decode in two weeks. If I’m not back and you haven’t heard from me by then, you can go to the coordinates and start looking for me. Got it?”

Zara didn’t wait to hear their answers before stalking off to the ship, immensely glad they refueled when they got home from the last trip so she could just leave right now.

*****

“How did it go today?”

Crosshair shrugged as he finished reassembling his rifle after cleaning and polishing it.

“How about you, Wrecker?”

“Hungry,” Wrecker mumbled. “They made me train through lunch.”

“Here.” Tech held out a ration bar, one of the many 99 had smuggled to them over the last several months since their training had intensified.

Wrecker inhaled it, then started recounted his day, his eyes lighting up the way they always did when he got to talk about wiring explosives and timing detonators. “He actually said I did good today! Got to wire a domino string for blowin’ up walls and dams and long stuff like that. Said I was a natural.”

“Well… you are,” Tech tilted his head quizzically. It looked like he was wondering why the instructor had bothered pointing out such an obvious fact.

Crosshair elbowed him on his way to his bunk.

“Wh—”

“That’s good, Wrecker,” Hunter said quickly. “Really good.”

What none of them said, what they never mentioned, was how normal it was for Wrecker to train right through meal times, for Hunter to get back to their barracks at the end of the day with a splitting headache, for Tech to alternately babble without end all the words he wasn’t allowed to say during training or sit in silence with his datapad either ignoring or not even hearing conversation directed his way, for Crosshair’s eyes to burn from strain and his legs to twitch and bounce from pent-up nervous energy.

For the words they all heard, all day, from the bounty hunters the Kaminoans hired to train them.

Words that even the other cadets, who harbored mixed feelings about the enhanced cadets, wouldn’t repeat—not even to tease them. The other cadets didn’t hate them, but it kriffing felt like the instructors did.

Words sneered at eight-year-old children.

“Surely you can do better than that.”

“Faster—you can’t hesitate to pull the trigger.”

“You should know this.”

“If you can’t handle this, maybe we should decommission you right now and save ourselves the trouble.”

Crosshair’s eyes felt like the eye drops one of the medic trainee cadets had given him had been replaced with liquid tibanna. He couldn’t even remember how far he’d been shooting today—just that it seemed unnecessarily far—

“Hey.”

Wrecker’s weight settled onto Crosshair’s bunk.

“You okay?”

Crosshair rolled over to face the wall in response.

“Don’t let ’em get to ya,” Wrecker said quietly. “We know you’re the best, no matter what those bounty hunters say.” Then he stood up, and something small took his place.

Crosshair stayed there, curled on his side with his eyes squeezed shut toward the wall until the others had finished their nightly routines and one of them clicked off the lights. When it had been dark and quiet for several minutes, he rolled over.

There was Lula.

*****

It was her first time in hyperspace.

No, it wasn’t.

The first time she had been only one, and Master Depa had been bringing her from Mandalore to Coruscant. Zara didn’t really remember it. She remembered being sad, though with the benefits of age and hindsight and knowledge of the Force, she had later become sure that it wasn’t her sadness, but his.

This trip, though, this trip she would remember forever. The joy running rampant through the Force between her and her clanmates and the excitement that Padawan Swan felt at this great responsibility and honor that had been given to her.

Nahdar bounced in place next to her. On the other side of the room, Anakin and Aayla wrestled to burn off some energy.

Zara looked down at her datapad and its collection of sketches. Soon she would be building it, the lightsaber in her designs, and then she would be carrying it on her hip like the big Jedi did, and then she would be learning as someone’s padawan! Her eagerness was palpable, she was sure, but she didn’t care. She was surrounded by friends and today was the first big step on their way to becoming Jedi.

*****

“Force, you’re stressed.” Zara nudged the wall panel, opening the door to the supply closet and revealing Crosshair sitting in a nest of blankets. She dropped a couple of ration bars into his lap. “And you’re here, when I recall all of you saying you didn’t want me here, so go ahead and explain that.”

“You said you knew this guy on Kamino. But did you know what he was like on Kamino?” Crosshair shook his head. “They were awful. All of them. Acted like they’d rather be anywhere else and getting their toenails ripped out than teaching us. Made life hell for us in exchange.”

“I was there,” she said quietly, trying to be patient. “I was on Kamino several times during the war. I know what it was like—”

“No you don’t!” he snapped. “We grew up there! We only had each other and the mudscuffers training us, and they were—No.”

“No what?” Zara snapped back.

“You’re not—You insist on going to see this man? Fine, whatever. But you really think you’re going without me? Not going to happen.”

“Is that what you’ve got the whole entire Force churning about?”

He leveled a glare at her.

“No, I’m serious. You snuck on the ship with me and now you’re sitting here stewing because I’m going to visit my uncle, the Protector of Concord Dawn, who happened to train fighter pilots on Kamino, because you think he’s the same person as kriffing Bric Sykevi—”

*****

“Yes, Master Chief.”

“Sorry, Master Chief.”

“I’ll do better next time, Master Chief.”

It made him feel better that the regs were terrified of Master Chief too, but it didn’t make him any less scared of the man, or of the punishments he could dole out and the threats he could make that only took one misstep to turn into actions taken.

He couldn’t wait to graduate, to get promoted from cadet to private or whatever they wanted to call him, to leave Kamino and never see those instructors again.

*****

“Bric—!” He was on his feet, pile of blankets left behind as he towered over Zara. He dropped his voice and growled, “Bric Sykevi is the lowest piece of bantha shit in the galaxy. If he died right now, I would only mourn because I didn’t get to kill him myself.”

“Whoa…” Zara breathed, leaning away until she bumped the wall.

“And anyone who willingly worked for him—I just—I can’t—”

“Please take a deep breath.”

He hauled in a breath through gritted teeth. “I was raised by bounty hunters hired, first by the Kaminoans and then by Bric Sykevi, to turn us into cold-blooded killing machines. That is my experience with what you might call ‘parental figures.’”

*****

Ky and Master Obi-Wan were laughing so hard tears ran down their faces.

“So Quin—Quin—” Ky wheezed, completely unable to finish her embarrassing story about Master Quinlan, but Master Ob-Wan didn’t need her to. They had known Master Quinlan since they came to the Temple as children.

“Let me guess—he tried to sweet-talk—”

“He tried to sweet-talk the guard!”

Master Obi-Wan roared, leaning against Ky as she howled.

Zara smiled. Their quiet afternoon of meditation had turned into Anakin napping in the grass—Master Obi-Wan said he needed it after their morning spar—and Ky and Master Obi-Wan trading stories about their adventures in the wide galaxy while Zara sat and listened and basked in the sunshine of the Force.

In moments like this, she could remember more clearly. A blue-eyed boy, his tongue sticking out and his eyes crossed. A red-haired man picking her up and tossing her high over his head, then catching her and spinning her around and around as she laughed.

*****

“So you decided to stow away? To what? Protect me from my actual family member because you had horrible people paid to raise you?”

*****

Crosshair remembered pain and fear and exhaustion, learning to check corners not for enemy soldiers but for angry trainers looking to take out any and all frustration on him. The only real safety was to be found with his brothers, their little band with its four members, four sides in stable square, with no blind corners.

*****

“I came along because none of us had to be alone on Kamino. We had each other. I don’t want you to—”

*****

Zara remembered sunshine and laughter and safety, the knowledge that everyone in the Temple wanted what was best for her and for her to become the best Jedi she could be. She had her creche mom and her master and her master’s master and her master’s friends and her friends’ masters and all of them working to better each other and her and the galaxy around them and expecting nothing in return.

*****

“You don’t want me to trust someone I shouldn’t? Who gets to make that choice? Do you need him to fill out an application? Run a background check? If that’s the case, you might want to run one on me too—I’ve done some questionable shit, you know!”

“You just—trust—everyone!”

Zara clenched her fists and inhaled sharply. “Actually,” she growled, “I trust very few people, but I value the ones I do trust, and I work to maintain a mutual level of trust. Fenn Rau is the only person alive who I knew more than ten years ago. And the other two people I’ve known for even halfway close to that long are bounty hunters. Everyone from my old life is dead. I will not turn away from this last person. Not now.”

She took four steps back down the hallway before spinning on her heel and storming back. “And you, Crosshair—” she jammed a finger in his chest, “—you had better learn how to trust people, because it’s a big kriffing galaxy, and it’s a terrible place to be alone. Believe me, I’ve tried.”

*****

He remembered late nights in the barracks, talking and laughing with the other three, the worries and stresses of the day forgotten in those moments over games of dejarik and smuggled snacks from 99.

He was never quite sure if it was because of or in spite of their training that they were so inseparable, so united, so devoted to each other. Maybe both. No matter the pain it took, cadet-hood had forged their bond as brothers, and they would never be alone.

@summer-of-bad-batch

[tokuvivor]

Duckverse June Week 5: Movie Day

Home stretch, baby!!! I sincerely apologize for how late this is, but here you go! I give you…

Movies I Missed on the Moon

It was an exceedingly rainy morning in Duckburg. Breakfast had just finished, and Huey, Dewey, and Louie were sitting at the bar, trying to figure out what to do.

“We could watch the rain outside,” suggested Louie.

“Nah,” responded Dewey. “I want to actually do something.”

“Well, the weather hasn’t given us many options, clearly,” reasoned Huey.

Just then, Della came in. “Hey, boys,” she greeted. “What are you guys still doing in here?”

“Oh, hey, Mom,” replied Dewey. “We’re trying to figure out what to do today, but we’re not getting anywhere.”

“Yeah, this weather sucks,” concurred Louie.

Della gasped. “Where did you hear that word?” she questioned.

“Mom, you literally say it all the time,” replied the green-clad triplet.

“Oh, yeah,” Della realized in a somewhat subdued tone. “Anyway,” she continued, clapping her hands together, “I think I have an idea of something the four of us can do together!”

“Oh?” asked Huey.

“Yep,” Della responded. She fished around in one of the pockets on her jacket, until she pulled out a tiny piece of paper. She unfolded it, revealing its true size, and showed it to the boys.

“What the-?” began Louie.

“‘Movies I Missed on the Moon’?” read Dewey.

“Wow,” finished Huey.

“Basically,” Della explained, “for all the catching-up I’ve done since I returned from the moon a couple years ago, there are still things I haven’t gotten around to yet, what with adventuring and flying and Woodchucking and all that good stuff. So, I decided to make a list of movies that came out while I was on the moon, and since the weather’s crappy today, I thought the four of us could do it together, as sort of a bonding activity.”

“I love that idea, Mom,” agreed Huey.

“Perfect!“ interjected Dewey.

“Alright, let’s do it,” finished Louie.

“Woo!” cheered Della. “We’ll need snacks, though. And some Pep. And we’ll need to decide what exactly we’re going to watch today.”

“Whoa, whoa, Mom!” Huey exclaimed, resting his hand on Della’s. “Take it easy. We can figure this out.”

“Sorry,” Della responded. “Just got a little too amped up there.”

“I know that feeling, Mom,” Dewey piped up.

“So what are we waiting for?” Della continued. “Let’s Dell-ve into this!”

‘Right, there’s still two of them,’ Louie thought, slightly annoyed.

Soon enough, the four ducks were gathered in the den. Della had put on some popcorn for her and her boys to share. Louie had procured some Pep. Dewey had found some assorted candy. And Huey had queued up their first movie of the day.

“Mental Max: Road of Rage!” Della exclaimed. “I love the whole dystopian future concept. I was obsessed with the first three movies as a teen, so I was super excited when I found out they made a fourth while I was gone.”

“They’re gonna release a fifth soon, too!” chirped Dewey.

“Isn’t five a bit excessive, though?” wondered Louie.

Della put on a thoughtful face. “Iiiiit…really depends, I’d say,” she replied. “Sequelitis exists, but there are certain factors that play into the success of the movie, like frequency, cast status, and how good the writing is.”

“Not wrong,” Huey offered. “Uncle Donald took us to see a throwback screening of The World Before Time, and it was great, but thirteen sequels? Now that I would call excessive.”

“Plus,” added Dewey, “most of the voices were provided by kids, so they’d inevitably grow out of the roles at some point. If they used adult actors for those, the voices would’ve been more consistent from movie to movie.”

“They’d have to know how to sound like kids, though,” Louie replied. “Or else it’d just sound weird, seeing a kid on screen, he opens his mouth, and it’s a 40-something dude.”

“Okay, yeah, yeah,” Della brushed off. “Now let’s watch this thing!”

“Whoa.”

That was all Della really had to initially say about the movie.

“That was so cool!” exclaimed Dewey. “It felt like one of our adventures.”

“For all that developmental hell it went through, I’d say it delivered,” Della continued, snapping out of her trance.

“How long had they been planning it?” Huey asked.

“Heck, at least since I was a teen,” admitted Della. “But a lot of outside stuff pushed it back.”

“Oh, god, like the original Max,” groaned Louie. “That guy’s a nutjob.”

“The new Max did a good job, though,” Dewey reasoned. “Okay, so what’s next, Mom?”

“Zombieland,” Della replied.

“Nice,” Louie approved. “I still can’t believe they got Bill Murray to play himself for that one.”

“I loved his ‘Take That’ moment towards Garfield,” added Dewey.

“Yeah, I remember that one. That was not his finest moment,” Della criticized.

“It’s an interesting premise,” admitted Huey. “Let’s get it rolling. Louie, could you please pass the Danish Shrimp?”

“That was so much fun!” exclaimed Della. “Yeah, a zombie apocalypse wouldn’t be an optimal world to live in, but I think we could pull that off. We all have adventure experience, I’m a good fighter, Huey has all his Woodchuck experience, Dewey’s savvy, and Louie, you could get your hands on a lot of supplies.”

“You’ve got a point, Mom,” Huey replied. “I think we’d fair well enough in a zombie apocalypse, but you know who’d be really good in an apocalyptic situation? The girls.”

“Ooh, you’re right,” Dewey agreed. “They already throw themselves into crazy situations at least on a weekly basis, so they’d own it.”

“I’ve honestly lost count of how many different weapons Webby has in her possession,” Louie added.

“However many it is, I’d like to bet I’ve got more!” Della challenged.

“I’ll pass that along to Webby,” Huey replied dryly. “Anyway, what’s next?”

Della’s eyes went wide. “That,” she said quietly.

“Are you sure?” Louie asked.

“It won’t hit too close to ho-“ Dewey began.

“I don’t care,” Della assured. “I need to see how Matt Dalmatian does it.”

The Martian was probably the best choice yet.

The four of them watched in awe as Matt Dalmatian’s character was able to keep himself alive on Mars. Though it did make Della have one regret.

‘Shit, I wish I could’ve cultivated my own food,’ she thought. ‘At least then, I wouldn’t have had to survive solely on that blasted Oxy-Chew. Though it did help me survive that long on the moon. Oh, who am I kidding? It’s hard enough for me to grow food here on Earth. I should really ask Donnie for some pointers.’

By the time the movie ended, Della was feeling a wide range of emotions. Her boys noticed it, too.

“What’d you think, Mom?” Huey asked.

Della’s eyes were red with tears. “I-I don’t think I’ve ever related to any movie as much as I’ve related to that one,” she admitted. “I bet the guy who wrote the book never would have guessed that this gal was lost in space, just like Watney.”

Huey nodded thoughtfully. “I really admired his resourcefulness,” he added.

“I kinda feel bad, though,” Dewey continued.

“Why’s that, Dew?” Della wondered.

“It’s like, he was stuck in space for, what, a year and-a-half? And at least he was able to get in contact with NASA eventually,” Dewey explained. “You were stuck in space for much longer, and we didn’t even realize you were still out there, trying to get back home to us.”

Huey and Louie looked at him, slightly concerned.

“Ah-no offense, Mom.”

“None taken. I’ve kinda gotten used to the whole isolation thing in hindsight, anyway,” Della replied. “That movie really reminded me just how good I have it. To get home in one—well, two—pieces. To be able to finally see you boys in person after 11 years. To live to tell the tale. I’d say this movie was definitely worth it.”

“We love you, Mom,” Louie responded.

“Aww, I love you boys, too,” Della smiled, as they wrapped her in a hug.

“So, what we got next?” quizzed Dewey.

“Okay, you boys are gonna be mad at me for this, but I was kinda thinking Bridesmaids.”

“Eh, I don’t care,” Louie admitted. “I’ve heard good things about that one, anyway.”

“It can be a bit low-brow at times,” Huey added. “But they seemed to have made very good calls in terms of the actresses.”

“And Webby’s already showed me plenty of chick flicks in the past,” Dewey confessed.

“Fair enough. Let’s start it up, then,” declared Della. “After we find more Pep.”

“On it,” Louie shot back.

Overall, what looked to be a dull, rainy day on paper turned out to be really enjoyable for Della, Huey, Dewey, and Louie. Della was able to knock some late 2000s-2010s movies off her to-watch list, and she was able to do it with three of the most important people in her life. And to her, that was worth everything that she went through in the past. Almost like she was Matt Dalmatian.

[sebstanaddict]

Love Song

Sebastian Stan x Female Reader Story

Summary : A romantic comedy story between Sebastian Stan and female reader where we witness their journey after they said I do.

Having been contacted by Sebastian, reader felt her life finally became normal. She couldn't lie to herself. She really still loved him. Moreover, Sebastian started to treat her and her family the way he used to treat her before they were married. His gesture touched her heart and soul the way they've never been touched before. However, Sebastian still couldn't put words into action and that made her doubt his love for her. Will he come through and will be able to proof his love to her? Or will he remain indifferent and selfish?

Pairings : Sebastian Stan x Female!Reader

Chapters : 21/23 (might add more)

Chapter list>

Warning : angst, divorce mention, fluff - a lot of sweet fluff 😉

Word count : 10.4k

This is a sequel to my first Sebastian fic Always You. If you want to understand more about Sebastian's and reader's relationship, please read it first. But it's not necessary to understand this story. Check it here.

---

Chapter 21 - Always Be My Baby

We were as one, babe

For a moment in time

And it seemed everlasting

That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free

So I'm lettin' you fly

'Cause I know in my heart babe

Our love will never die

No..

You'll always be a part of me

I'm part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Oh darlin' 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feelin' this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Oh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby

Always Be My Baby - David Cook/Mariah Carey

---

La Venta Dr, Poway, California - June 16th 2023 - 11 am

Ever since that first contact with Sebastian, Y/n felt like her life slowly returned to normal. It didn't feel normal for her not being able to hear his voice or see his face everyday. Like it or not, she felt like he was a permanent fixture in her life. Whatever their status were, he was still going to be a part of her life, one way or another.

Yes, she contemplated on still getting a divorce from him no matter how hurtful it made her feel. It was clear he would never stop being an actor and she was still unsure that she could handle being a celebrity's wife. The events that happened during their honeymoon really left a trauma in her heart, and she knew it would take a while for her to overcome them. So they did what Sebastian suggested, they contacted each other everyday and took things slow.

It was 2 days after their first contact and she was helping her stepmom to bake some cupcakes. Her stepmom used to work at a bakery but had retired since two years ago. They were testing some recipes to bake for Starlene's upcoming birthday.

She had decided to throw a little party for Starlene. It was summer and her brother - who lived and worked in Canada - planned on visiting them just in time for Starlene's birthday. She also decided to invite all of her dad's neighbours and she even invited Shannon, who, as it happened, was filming in LA but promised to come over for a day or two and come to Starlene's birthday. She also invited Sebastian's mother who was ecstatic at her invite. She said she missed Starlene so much and wouldn't miss the party. As for Sebastian, well, he was scheduled to have some days off in the beginning of July and he wanted to come visit during that time. He also made a promise to try his best to come back for Starlene's birthday.

She put some eggs into the big mixing bowl, pushed down the mixer head so the beater was positioned in the bowl and turned the knob to a slow speed. She expected the beater to start moving but it didn't. She checked whether it was connected to the electricity plug and found out that it did. She tried turning the knob again but to no avail. It seemed the mixer was broken.

"Diane.. I'm sorry, I don't know what happened but the mixer won't work." She said, turning to Diane, her stepmom, who was melting some chocolate behind her.

"Oh, here, let me try." She said.

Diane turned the knob of the mixer but the beater still didn't move. She took the beater off and put another one but still the mixer wouldn't turn on.

"Well, another one bites the dust." Diane sighed.

"Oh no. Do you have a spare mixer?" She asked.

"No, this is the last one that I have."

"Oh that's too bad." She said, her face fell.

"I'm sorry Y/n. I hope it's okay that we order the cupcakes for the party from a bakery instead of baking them ourselves."

"Oh of course it's okay, Diane. I just love your cupcakes so much and I wish I could have those for the party. But, it's okay, really. Don't worry about it." She smiled and patted Diane's hand.

That night she told Sebastian about the situation and he was quite sympathetic. She should've seen it coming, however. Sebastian, being the generous soul that he was, bought a new high end mixer for her stepmom. She didn't know how he did it, but the mixer arrived the next day. Diane was so thrilled about it and wouldn't stop complimenting Sebastian.

"Y/n.. he is like the most generous and considerate man I ever know. He's quite a catch. I'm sorry to say this, but I think you should really consider getting back together with him." She said as they tested some cupcake recipes that afternoon.

"I know. But, things aren't that simple." She sighed.

"Well, marriage is never simple. But as long as you love each other, you can get through anything, I truly believe that."

"Even if we want different things?" She asked.

"Yes, despite all the differences, if you truly love each other, you would compromise and find the middle ground. We all have different minds, different needs and wants. Each one of us is unique in our own way. Marriage is about bridging the gap between the differences of two people and learning how to love each other despite it all."

She realized that Diane was right. But she still couldn't shake the trauma off from her mind and for now she was comfortable the way they were. Yes, she missed him, but she loved the normalcy being in Poway brought to her life. She wasn't ready to give that up yet. She knew if she went to Atlanta or New York to be with him things would be different. She would live under a microscope again and she hated that. So for now she was content the way they were.

Apparently, buying her dad a complete entertainment system and her stepmom a high end mixer weren't enough for Sebastian. He still called her dad everyday even though he and Y/n were already on speaking terms. He said her dad reminded him of his own dad. She was so touched by that and so happy that the both of them could be friends.

One day during their daily call, her dad mentioned to Sebastian that he planned on going on a cruise to the Caribbean one day with Diane. He had never gone on a cruise before and was intrigued after watching a program about it on TV. And like clockwork, one day after her dad mentioned that to Sebastian, he gave her dad and Diane an all expenses paid trip to go on a Caribbean cruise in August, surprising all of them.

"Y/n.. he's like a dream son-in-law. I'm so happy that you married him. Just go back to him. He loves you so much. You'll never be able to find someone like him again." her dad said after he found out Sebastian had bought him the Caribbean cruise.

"Oh, dad." She rolled her eyes. Sebastian really knew how to get into people's hearts. His gesture reminded her of what he did early in their relationship. How he bought her everything that she had mentioned and more. Apparently he was using the same strategy but this time he bribed her family instead of her.

His splurging on her family habit continued throughout the week. The day after he bought her dad the Caribbean cruise, he bought him blu-rays of all of Harrison Ford's movies, each one signed by Harrison Ford himself!

"Sebastian, this is amazing! This is.. unbelievable! I can't thank you enough." Her dad gushed into his cellphone during their daily calling session.

"What?! Oh my, really? That's.. yes.. of course I want to talk to him!" Her dad said enthusiastically.

Apparently Sebastian was at a shoot with Harrison Ford and had offered to have Harrison talk to her dad. She smiled and shook her head as she looked at how happy and ecstatic her dad was. Harrison Ford was nice and they all ended up having a video call session with him.

"Seb, thank you for what you've done to my dad and stepmom this week. I really appreciate it." She said during their daily call session.

"Oh my pleasure, honey. You know I love splurging on other people. Especially my own family." He replied.

"I know, and thank you for that."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. Which reminds me, I haven't given you or Starlene anything. Is there anything that you want? Either for you or Starlene?" He asked.

"Seb, you don't have to. Really. You know how I feel if you splurge on me."

"Well.. if not for you then for Starlene. What does she need now?" He insisted.

"She just needs her dad." She said wistfully.

"Oh, sweetheart, I'll be there. Sooner or later I'll be there. I promise you that."

"You're still coming next week, right?" She asked.

"Umm.. about that. I'm sorry honey, but I was thinking of postponing to come until July 11th or 12th so I can be at Starlene's birthday. Because the shooting schedule is kind of tight and I hate to be the cause of the delay. I mean, Marvel allowed me to have days off monthly and not every two weeks, if you know what I mean. So I thought I would use the days off for Starlene's birthday."

"Hmm.. okay. That makes sense." She couldn't help but feel disappointed at his answer. She was really looking forward to see him again. Her bed felt cold for much too long without him by her side.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. I hope you're okay with it?" He asked.

"Yeah, of course. It's important that you can be here on Starlene's birthday, so as long as you can come for that, it's okay."

"Thank you honey, I promise I'll be there."

"I'm holding you to that promise, Seb."

"Don't worry, I'll be there. In the mean time, I think I know what to give Starlene."

"What?" She asked curiously.

"Oh, it's a surprise." He chuckled.

"Seeb.." she protested but he just laughed in response.

Sebastian's idea for a surprise for Starlene came in the form of a huge Sesame street bouncy castle with slides and life size balloon Elmo inside. Y/n's jaw dropped when the local toy store dropped off the bouncy castle at her dad's front lawn.

"Seb.. are you kidding me?!" She said to him through her cellphone as she watched the toy store staff filled the bouncy castle with air.

"What? You don't like it?" He asked innocently.

"It's not that but it's so huge it covers almost all of the front lawn." She stated.

"Oh I'm sorry, I should have asked how big your dad's front lawn is." He said dejectedly.

"Yeah well. Starlene loves it though." She smiled as she watched Starlene crawled towards the bouncy castle, her eyes huge as saucers as she looked at the huge pictures of Elmo on the side of the castle.

"Aawww.. well that's the most important thing." He responded.

"Yeah it is. Thank you, Seb. But maybe consult with me first next time you want to buy something like this?" She asked.

"Of course, honey. I'm sorry."

Despite being scolded by her for buying Starlene something like the bouncy castle, he kept showering Starlene with gifts everyday. He bought her a three story Barbie house complete with all the furnitures and the Barbie dolls. He bought her 50 toddler books with various themes. He bought her all of Sesame Street characters plush dolls, and huge ones at that. He also bought her many different dresses and clothes. He even bought her a bicycle and a rollerblade.

"Seb, she can't even walk yet and you already bought her a bicycle and a rollerblade?!" She protested during their calling session.

"I know, but one day she will and you won't have to think about buying her a bicycle and rollerblade again." He defended himself.

"Oh Seb." She could only respond.

After almost two weeks of non stop splurging to her family, she started to feel rather jealous. It wasn't like he never splurged on her before. But, considering it was her that he was trying to get back together with, she felt it was rather peculiar that he hadn't given her anything yet. But she decided not to mention it to him because she was rather embarrassed to admit that she expected to get something from him, anything, even if just flowers.

As if he could read her mind, one day after Sebastian's rollerblade for Starlene arrived, a bouquet of flowers and a package came for her. The bouquet was of purple hyacinth. It came with a card that said "Please forgive me." She smiled and felt her heart melted as she read the card. Hyacinth as it happened really symbolized asking for someone's forgiveness. He was really thoughtful when picking the flower for her.

After putting the hyacinth in a vase she opened the package and shook her head in disbelief. He had sent her a book, her favourite book, Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder. He left a note at the front page.

Read the bookmarked page.

So she turned to the bookmarked page and found that he had highlighted a paragraph.

You can never know if a person forgives you when you wrong them. Therefore it is existentially important to you. It is a question you are intensely concerned with. Neither can you know whether a person loves you. It's something you just have to believe or hope. But these things are more important to you than the fact that the sum of the angles in a triangle is 180 degrees. You don't think about the law of cause and effect or about modes of perception when you are in the middle of your first kiss.

She sighed as she read the paragraph. He had left another note at the bookmarked page.

My dearest Y/n,

I'm sorry for all that I have done. I'm sorry for all that I have said. And I'm sorry if I can't be the man you wish for. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and love me again the way you used to. And I hope when you do, you will let me know so I won't have to wonder anymore.

Love,

Your eternal admirer

She smiled as she read the note.

Yes, ever since they started contacting each other again she hadn't yet said that she loved him or missed him yet. She still needed some time until she was ready to say them to him. She needed to be sure if she was ready to come back to him and deal with everything else that came by being with him before she could say them. It seemed he was starting to get bothered by it.

The fact made her feel mischievous. She knew it wasn't right, but she was somewhat happy to make him wonder about her feelings for him. Receiving the message from him made her feel even more mischievous that she decided not to let him know about her feelings for him for as long as she could. She wanted to know how far he would go to win back her love. And for the next nine days she found out exactly how far he would go.

On the second day he sent her a bouquet of white orchids and a note that said he missed her. Along with the bouquet was a poetry book by Mahmoud Darwish and he highlighted the following passage.

How do I say I miss you in a way that will make your heart ache as mine does.

She couldn't help but shed a tear upon reading the passage. He had no idea but she missed him terribly as well. Unfortunately she wasn't sure yet whether she could express her longing for him just yet. Somehow, she still needed some time. So, she didn't say anything to him except how much she appreciated the flowers and books he had sent her. She did, however, told him that she had forgiven him. But she couldn't yet say that she still loved him so much.

For the next eight days, Sebastian sent her a bouquet of flowers daily. Every single bouquet of flowers that he sent was meaningful, and he made sure she knew that by writing the meaning of them in an attached card. Declarations of friendship, trust, admiration and of course love and longing accompanied bouquets of colorful tulips, roses, carnations and zinnias. With every bouquet that came she felt her broken soul slowly mended and the feeling of emptiness in her heart gradually disappeared.

She would've been satisfied with him just sending her the flowers, but of course he just had to do more. Along with the flowers he kept sending her books and in every single one he highlighted at least one passage to convey his feelings for her. Being the bookworm that she was, this gesture touched her heart and soul in a way that she never experienced before. It became a highlight of her day to receive the books and read the passages that he had highlighted.

Day 3

You might not have been my first love but you are the love that made all other loves seem irrelevant.

- Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey poetry book

Day 4

And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.

- Kiersten White, The Chaos of Stars

Day 5

In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.

You have bewitched me body and soul and I love, love, love you.

- Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Day 6

You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. I have loved none but you."

- Jane Austen, Persuasion

Day 7

I want to be the friend you fall hopelessly in love with. The one you take into your arms and into your bed and into the private world you keep trapped in your head. I want to be that kind of friend. The one who will memorize the things you say as well as the shape of your lips when you say them. I want to know every curve, every freckle, every shiver of your body.

- Tahereh Mafi, Unravel Me

Day 8

I want morning and noon and nightfall with you. I want your tears, your smiles, your kisses...the smell of your hair, the taste of your skin, the touch of your breath on my face. I want to see you in the final hour of my life...to lie in your arms as I take my last breath.

- Lisa Kleypas, Again the Magic

Day 9

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.

- Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

On the tenth day he pulled out all the stops and sent her the complete works of Shakespeare. He highlighted many passages from the famous playwright's plays and sonnets and asked her to read them in a certain order so that the passages formed a cohesive letter.

The course of true love never did run smooth.

When you depart from me, sorrow abides and happiness takes his leave.

I love you more than words can wield the matter. Dearer than eyesight, space and liberty.

For where thou art, there is the world itself. And where thou art not, desolation.

I would not wish any companion in the world but you.

Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life.

The moment she finished reading the passages, a tear dropped from her eyes. He truly truly loved her and she truly loved him too. All of the things he had done to her and her family had healed her trauma and she finally felt like she was ready to tell him about it. She was ready to tell him how much she still loved and longed for him.

Unfortunately, something she didn't expect came up and her mind once again took over in an attempt to protect her heart.

It was July 10th when it happened, 3 days before Starlene's birthday. They were on their daily calling session when he broke the bad news to her.

"Sweetheart, I'm really sorry but I think I won't be able to go there in time for Starlene's birthday."

"What?! But why? What happened?" She asked, her heart dropped to her stomach. She really was looking forward to see him again.

"I have to do a re-shoot with Harrison Ford on the 12th and 13th. I already asked for a reschedule but Harrison can't do it on any other dates. I'm really really sorry, sweetheart."

There it was, she was reminded again of one of the reasons why she left him. His f*****g job! Somehow, his job always, always forced him to choose between his family or his job. And every single time he always chose his job.

"Oh, right. Fine. You know, you don't even have to bother coming here, Seb. Just finish the whole five month shoot and don't make promises to come before then. Especially if you can't keep them!" She replied as anger started to consume her.

"Oh honey, don't say that. I miss you and Starlene so much and I don't think I can wait five months before I can see you both again. I promise I'll come over there after the shoot is done. I'll be there on the 15th."

"Seb, stop making promises that you can't keep!" She snapped.

"I'm.. I'm sorry, honey. I really am."

She sighed. Her plans on telling him how she felt went out the window as anger and disappointment overcame her.

"I'll make it up to you, sweetheart, I promise." He pleaded.

"Words are nothing without action, Seb." She said coldly and with that she hung up the phone, leaving him hanging.

He tried calling her back multiple times but she just wouldn't accept it. He needed to know how angry she was at him so she ignored all his calls and messages.

After what seemed like the twentieth time, he finally stopped trying to call her and just sent her a message.

I'm really sorry, sweetheart. You have the right to be angry with me and I accept that. But I hope you'll forgive me by the time I visit. I'll be there on the 15th.

Love,

Your eternal admirer

She sighed as she read the message. She really meant it. Words meant nothing without action. Despite everything that he had given her and her family, despite all the sweet words and beautiful flowers he had sent to her, all of them meant nothing to her if he didn't put his words into action and visit them. So she decided to ignore him and just see whether he really came on the 15th.

Sebastian didn't easily give up on trying to make amends to her. When he said he would make it up to her, he truly meant it.

The morning after he told her the bad news, he sent her a huge bouquet of pink carnations and purple hyacinth along with an apology letter and an envelope containing what she truly didn't expect.

My dearest Y/n,

I'm sorry again for not being able to come for Starlene's birthday. You have no idea how devastated I am about that. I hope eventually you'll understand and forgive me.

As I said before, I want to make it up to you. So, I made some arrangements for you to go on a day trip to San Diego today to have some me-time. You don't have to worry about Starlene. I talked to your dad and stepmom and they would take care of her. You can find the itinerary and the things you will need for the day in the attached envelope. Don't worry about transportation. I've rented a car and a chauffer for you.

I hope you'll have fun. You deserve it so much.

I love you and please enjoy your day.

Love,

Your eternal admirer

Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped as she looked at the itinerary and contents of the envelope.

He had booked for her to have a complete spa treatment at Rancho Valencia that morning, a Forbes 5 star spa and resort located about 15 miles from Poway. Along with the spa treatment, he sent her a three thousand dollars Macy's gift card so she could go on a shopping spree after the spa treatment at Macy's Fashion Valley, one of the biggest shopping malls in San Diego. But the most jaw dropping of them all, he had bought her a ticket to see David Cook's concert at the Music Box, San Diego that night.

David Cook was one of her favourite musicians. She couldn't believe he still remembered and she was mindblown on how he was able to score a ticket for her at the last minute.

As soon as she finished digesting all the mind blowing gifts he had given her, she immediately gave him a call.

"Good morning my love." He greeted her.

"Good morning, Seb." She smiled.

"How are you today?"

"Oh, I'm currently in shock." She said teasingly.

"Oh, why is that?" He asked, feigning innocence.

"You remember the millionaire guy I told you about?" She asked, referring to an imaginary guy who she often referred to whenever Sebastian sent her a gift. It was an inside joke they had going on since before they were married.

He laughed out loud. "Yeah, what about him?"

"He sent me the most amazing gift ever! I really don't know what to do with this guy." She teased.

"Oh, he did? What did he send you?"

"He arranged for me to have the best day ever in San Diego. I mean.. a spa treatment? A shopping spree? A concert of my favourite musician?! He's just unbelievable. You know, you should take a page from his book if you want me back and forgive you." She teased again.

Her words made him laugh even harder.

"Oh honey, he really is unbeatable, huh? I really should try harder to win you back."

"Yeah, you should. I'm this close to saying I love you to him."

"Aaawww.. you love him?"

"Maybe.."

"Well, even if you love him I bet you love me more."

"Oh, what makes you so sure of that?"

"Just a hunch." He teased.

"Well, just so you know, I'm not letting you off the hook this easily." She huffed. "I mean it Sebastian Stan. No amount of gifts, flowers, beautiful words could sway me into your arms unless you put your words into action."

"Ouch. That hurt." He said.

"Well.. that's just the truth." She snickered.

He sighed. "I know. But I bet you'll change your mind tonight."

"Seb.. what are you planning?" She asked curiously.

"It's a surprise, honey. Now why don't you go and get ready. The chauffer will come at 9. And also.. I arranged for someone to accompany you. I don't want you to go alone."

"What?! Who? Who did you ask to go with me?" She asked, dumbfounded.

"Oh you'll see.. she should be there soon." He chuckled.

"Oh, Seb.." She could only say.

---

La Venta Dr, Poway, California - July 11th 2023 - 8.45 am

She was sitting at the dining table feeding Starlene some baby cereal. Her dad sat across from her eating his breakfast while Diane sat next to him, eating her breakfast too. She was ready to go and have the best day ever when all of a sudden she heard the sound of someone knocking at the front door.

"Excuse me." A familiar female voice said from behind the door.

"That must be the chauffer or the companion Sebastian told me about." She said as she stood up and walked towards the front door.

When she opened the door her jaw dropped and she squealed in excitement.

"Shannon! Oh my God! I didn't expect to see you!" She said as she embraced Shannon in a tight hug.

"Seb asked me to accompany you today." Shannon smiled as she released herself from her embrace.

"Oh, I should have known." She chuckled.

"Yeah, well, I was planning on coming tomorrow because I still have a shoot today. But he begged for me to come today so I can accompany you for the whole day. He even talked to my director and begged him to give me the day off. Seb sent my director a nice bottle of wine and a box of cake that my director finally allowed me to go." Shannon chuckled.

"Oh wow. He's really persistent." She laughed.

"He is, especially when it comes to you." Shannon winked.

"Oh Shannon, I've missed you so much!" She reached out and hugged her again with tears in her eyes.

"I've missed you too, Y/n." Shannon said as she rubbed her back.

"Oh Y/n.. are you crying?" Shannon asked as she let her go. Her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"A little. I just miss you. There's so many things I want to tell you." She replied.

"Well you'll have a whole day to tell me everything." Shannon winked and she smiled.

"Are you ready? We have a full day ahead of us." Shannon continued and reminded her.

"Oh yeah. I'm ready. Just need to finish feeding Starlene for a few minutes. And anyway, the chauffer isn't here yet." She said, glancing behind Shannon's back.

As if on cue, a limousine pulled up right in front of the house.

"Is that the car he rented for us today?" Shannon asked, her jaw dropped.

"Yeah I guess it is. You know how much he loves splurging." She shook head in disbelief. He just had to book a fancy car didn't he? She should have guessed he would pull all of the stop in pampering her today.

After she finished feeding Starlene and Shannon finished eating her breakfast, they got into the limousine.

"Bye Starlene! Bye dad! Bye Diane!" She rolled down the window of the limousine and waved at them who were standing on the front porch, watching her leave.

"Bye dear! Have fun!" Her dad waved back and smiled.

Starlene, who was being held by her dad, stared at her then extended her hands to her. "Mama.. mama.." She cried out and started to cry.

"Oh no." She shook her head.

"It's okay, Starlene! You're safe with grandpa and grandma!" She called out.

"Yes Starlene dear. We're gonna have some fun today! Let's go to the bouncy castle and play with Elmo." Her dad said and he immediately turned around, rocking Starlene in his arms as he tried to soothe her cries.

She took a deep breath. Starlene was never away from her for too long. The longest she was away from her was probably when she had her me-time back in Amsterdam. Her motherly instinct took over and she contemplated on going back and have Starlene come with her.

"Y/n.. I know what you're thinking, but today is your day. You need some me-time. Don't worry about Starlene. Your dad and stepmom can take good care of her." Shannon said as she placed her hand on hers in encouragement.

"I know. It's just.. today is going to be the longest day that she's away from me. And I can't help but worry, you know." She sighed.

"Oh Y/n. She'll be fine! Nothing is gonna happen to her. Trust me. Besides, she's getting bigger, sooner or later she'll be away from you even much longer than today. You have to learn to let her go."

"I know." She took a deep breath and let it go. Shannon was right, she should try to let her go and just enjoy the day.

"Excuse me, ma'am. Are you ready to go?" The chauffer rolled down the black divider that divided the driver's area with the passenger area at the back and turned to them.

"Oh yeah, let's go." She smiled.

The chauffer nodded and the limousine soon moved and drive away, taking them to their first stop, the Rancho Valencia Resort and Spa.

---

Fashion Valley Mall, San Diego - July 11th 2023 - 3 pm

Spending the morning at the Rancho Valencia spa and the afternoon at the Fashion Valley mall proved to be just exactly what she needed. The spa was beautiful, the treatments she received were top notch that she never felt so relaxed and tranquil in her life. She arrived at the spa still feeling worried about Starlene but she left with such a relaxed mind that she almost forgot she had a daughter.

After the treatments at the spa were done they went to Fashion Valley mall to grab some lunch and did a little shopping.

At first she felt kind of anxious to go to a public place like the mall. She was still traumatic with the whole events with Sebastian's fans, so she tried to disguise herself by wearing a hoodie, a cap and sunglasses. However, Fashion Valley was one of the biggest shopping malls in San Diego and with the scandal becoming a household topic across the world for the past couple of months she was bound to be recognized.

Several people turned to look at her when she walked past, but she was glad none of them gave her judging stares, they were just curious about her. Until she met a young woman at Macy's changing room who blatantly gave her a stare. They were queueing to use the changing room and the young woman was queueing to use the changing room next to her.

She looked away after the woman gave her eye contact but whoever were behind the changing rooms took so long to try their clothes that she couldn't help but glance back at the woman.

"Excuse me.. sorry. I.. I don't mean to bother you but.. are you Y/F/N Stan? Sebastian Stan's wife?" The woman finally asked.

"Umm.." she hesitated in answering her.

"Oh, you don't have to answer if you don't want to. I understand. It's just.. if you're her, then I admire you. I saw the clarification interview you did with Sebastian. After everything that Sebastian's fans had done to you, you were still chill about it and you even said you could understand them. I mean. You have so much class and I admire you for that." The woman smiled.

The young woman's words felt like a healing balm on her heart. She never thought anyone would think of her that way, especially after everything that had happened.

"Oh.. that's so nice of you to say that. I.. I appreciate it." She smiled and the woman smiled back.

"So you really are her?" She commented with a twinkle in her eyes.

"You caught me there." She chuckled.

"Well, I'm happy that you're still with Sebastian and that everything was just a misunderstanding. You guys are the perfect couple ever. I wish someday I can find a man that looks at me the way Sebastian looks at you." The woman commented again, surprising her.

Apparently people noticed that about him and she felt her face reddened a little.

"Oh, thank you. Really. I appreciate it." She smiled.

"No problem." The woman said, smiling back at her.

After the encounter with the young woman, she felt somehow more free. So she spent the rest of the time at the mall not worrying too much about the people that noticed her and focused herself on the shopping experience.

With three thousand dollars worth of gift cards in her purse she really had a lot to spend. But being the generous and thoughtful person that she was she ended up not buying much for herself but instead she treated Shannon to some gorgeous dresses, accessories and make up items. She also bought some things for her dad, her stepmom, Starlene, her brother, her mother-in-law and even Sebastian.

It was almost 6 pm when they were finally satisfied with their purchases. They stopped at Fashion Valley food court for some light dinner then off they went to Music Box for what she was sure going to be the highlight of her day. Her feelings turned out to be true and even exceeded her expectations.

---

Music Box, San Diego - July 11th 2023 - 8 pm

The concert was going to start at 9 pm. They arrived at Music Box a little before 8, just in time to see the opening band start.

Sebastian had secured a VIP ticket for them so they had access to a special area at the venue where they could sit and relax with access to the bar. The area was still quite close to the front of the stage so she could still see David and his band clearly. She was glad Sebastian had bought the VIP ticket for them because she didn't think she was strong enough to stand at the festival area after spending the whole afternoon on her feet and shopping. Her legs were aching terribly.

As it happened, Sebastian also secured backstage passes for her so she could meet David Cook himself and take some pictures with him. She was scheduled to meet him after the concert was done. She was nervous yet excited about it. She couldn't believe she got to meet two of her idols in one year. She felt really lucky.

The opening band was a new rock band from Nashville. She wondered if they knew Zac somehow. Come to think of it, it wouldn't surprise her if David also knew Zac because David also lived in Nashville.

She shook her head as the thought entered her mind. She hated that she could somehow thought of Zac. The person who turned her world upside down. She knew it wasn't entirely Zac's fault that she ended up in the mess she was in. But if only she didn't come visit him at his concert, then she wouldn't be in this predicament, being on a break with Sebastian. But then again, their situation was complex. There was Stephanie in the mix as well Sebastian's fans and well.. Sebastian himself who just couldn't seem to understand how important it was to her that he chose her over his job for at least once in his life.

"Y/n.. you okay?" Shannon's voice brought her back from her negative thoughts.

"Oh.. yeah.. I'm okay. I just.. thought of Zac for a bit. You know he lives in Nashville and this band as well as David also lives in Nashville. I just couldn't help but thought of that." She explained.

"Oh okay. Have you heard from him again?" Shannon asked curiously.

"Zac? Oh no. He kept his promise. He never contacted me again. The last time I saw him was the day Seb almost found out that he was in the hotel room with me and Starlene." She replied.

"Oh, that's good. He brings nothing but trouble." Shannon commented.

"I know." She grimaced.

"Y/n.. I'm sorry to ask you this.. you don't have to answer if you don't want to.. but I need to ask this, it's for your own good." Shannon said with her eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh okay. What is it, Shannon?" She asked, wondering why Shannon suddenly turned serious.

"Do you still have feelings for Zac?"

"What?!" Her heart dropped to her stomach listening to Shannon's question.

"I'm sorry. It's just. It seems to me somehow you still have a soft spot for him. I just wonder.. if you were allowed to choose, would you choose Seb or him?"

"Oh Shannon.. I.. Zac.. he.. well.. My longest relationship ever was with him, and that even included Seb. I mean.. romantic relationship that is. You know he impacted my life greatly."

"I know and I understand. But if you could choose? Who would you choose? This is just me you're talking to. I'm not gonna tell Seb about your answer. I promise. I'm just.. kind of worried about you."

"Oh Shannon. I.. Zac hurt me a lot when he first left. He left me alone in the middle of the night in China town. That's not what a gentleman would do, right? I know Seb would never do that to me."

"So, you still choose Seb?"

"I.."

"Even though he prioritized his acting job over you?"

"Oh Shannon.. I guess.. nobody is perfect. At least he ended up having the guts to propose to me. And he was so sweet to me after the whole thing with Ana blew up. He.. he is still sweet now. Even though I think he still needs a kick in the butt every now and then." She chuckled.

"Well, I'm glad you say that. He's head over heels in love with you and you both need to get back together."

"You think so?"

"Yup."

"If he's head over heels in love with me then why won't he just sacrifice his job and choose me? At least once in his life?" She said sadly.

"He did Y/n. He chose you when you were sick with covid and pregnant with Starlene. Don't you remember?" Shannon smiled.

Shannon was right. He did choose her back then. He chose to break the contract with Ana, his PR girlfriend, resigned from the big agency he was in and chose to cancel his appearance at a fan convention so he could be by her side.

"You're right, Shannon. He did choose me." She said as the realization hit her.

"Yeah, I'm sure if you're in another emergency situation he would choose you again." Shannon commented.

"Well, I'd kill him if he doesn't." She chuckled.

"And you have the right to do that." Shannon laughed.

"Yeah.. it's just. I feel if I'm not in an emergency situation he would choose his job over me. Like what he has done so far. I mean.. he even sacrificed Starlene and won't come to her first birthday." She said bitterly.

"Oh Y/n.. I'm sure he had tried his best to reschedule the shoot to another date. But this is Marvel we're talking about and Harrison Ford. I can see why Seb couldn't get out of it."

She sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Oh hey, the opening band is done. Let's just focus on the show and forget everything else. I'm sorry if I brought up something so serious." Shannon said, reaching out and placed her hand on top of hers.

"It's okay, Shannon. I know you mean well." She smiled and Shannon smiled back.

Moments later David Cook took the stage. She stood up and clapped along with the others, welcoming him onto the stage. Soon he strummed the first notes from his latest single and she found herself standing up and singing along, the aches on her legs seemed to have vanished.

David performed 14 songs that night, mostly songs from his latest album but also some of his older singles. After he was finished performing the 14th song, he changed his electric guitar to an acoustic guitar and a stool was placed in the middle of the stage. He sat on it and tuned his guitar a little while waiting for his band members to sit behind him as they were preparing to change the setting to an acoustic setting.

"So.. thank you everyone for coming here tonight." He addressed the audience and everyone cheered and clapped including her.

"For our last song we're going to perform something special." He smiled as he looked around the audience and turned his face to look at her general area.

"This next song was requested by a certain millionaire guy whose wife is somewhere in the VIP area." He said as he scanned the faces in the VIP area.

Y/n's jaw dropped to the floor as she heard what David just said. By millionaire guy could he mean Sebastian? She wondered.

David locked eyes with her and recognition was clear in his eyes for a second. He winked at her, making her blush furiously. She hid her face from him with her hand, feeling so embarrassed.

Yes, by millionaire guy he really meant Sebastian. She couldn't believe Sebastian would do something like this. But then again, he was always so all out whenever he gave her a gift. Including this.

"He asked me to tell his wife that no matter what happens, she will always be his baby." David continued saying.

Her heart melted at that and she peered at David from behind her hand, curious if he was still looking at her. And sure enough, David was looking at her. He smiled at her again and she was sure her face was as red as a tomato.

David started to strum his guitar and the first few notes of the song Always Be My Baby - which was originally a Mariah Carey song that David covered during American Idol - came out from the speakers.

We were as one, babe

For a moment in time

And it seemed everlasting

That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free

So I'm lettin' you fly

'Cause I know in my heart babe

Our love will never die

No..

You'll always be a part of me

I'm part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Oh darlin' 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feelin' this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Oh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry, no

And I won't beg you to stay

If you're determined to leave girl

I will not stand in your way

But inevitably you'll be back again

'Cause you know in your heart, babe

Our love will never end, no

You'll always be apart of me

I'm part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Oh darlin' 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feelin' this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Oh darlin' 'cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl

When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oh

(I know that)

You'll be right back, baby

Oh baby believe me it's only a matter of time, time

You'll always be apart of me

I'm part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Oh darlin' 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feelin' this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Ooh darlin' 'cause you'll always be my baby

Always be my baby..

She couldn't help but shed a tear as she heard David performed the song. It was her favourite song and the lyrics were so timely to her situation. Sebastian really was the most romantic and thoughtful husband ever.

She glanced at Shannon and found her shooting a video of her.

"Shannon.. what are you doing?" She laughed a little as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Seb wants me to report to him." Shannon winked.

She just shook her head, still laughing and smiling, her eyes shimmering with happy tears. When he said he was making it up to her, he really truly meant it, and she was so grateful for that.

---

She thought that was the only surprise he had in store for her that night, but she was wrong

After the concert was done she and Shannon went backstage to meet David. Apparently she got VIP backstage passes so they had some privacy with David and his band members with no other fans around them.

David and his band members were so nice. They chatted and took many pictures together. He also mentioned how Sebastian reached out to him through his Instagram just the other night and begged him for tickets and backstage passes, telling him that his marriage depended on them.

Her face reddened as she heard what David said. She couldn't believe Sebastian went as far as contacting David personally to get her tickets and backstage passes. He even told David about the fact that their marriage had some problems. Even though Sebastian didn't tell David the details, but just a vague explanation, she still felt so embarrassed by that. She made a mental note to talk to Sebastian about that. As much as she loved the surprise he had given her, she wasn't comfortable that Sebastian was telling a complete stranger about their situation. Even if the stranger was her idol.

Before she knew it, it was time for them to leave. It was getting really late and she was sure her dad and stepmom wouldn't appreciate her coming home too late.

"Thank you so much for tonight, David, the show was awesome, I had the best time! And thank you for allowing us to see you." She smiled wide as she shook David's hand.

"Oh it's my pleasure, Y/n. By the way, Sebastian asked me to give you something. Hold on." He said as he turned around and went to his dressing room.

He came back and returned carrying a brown package in his hand.

"There you go. I promise I didn't open it." He winked.

"Oh my, I'm really sorry for this David. Sebastian should just send it to me directly." She said as she received the package, which she suspected seemed to be a book.

"Oh it's no problem Y/n. He said he wanted to give you something to close the night and make it perfect for you. What could be more perfect than me giving it to you." David chuckled.

"Thank you again, David. I really appreciate it." She smiled wide.

"No problem, Y/n." David smiled wide.

She entered the limousine that night still reeling from everything that just happened. It felt like a dream come true for her. She couldn't stop smiling until they arrived at her dad's house.

She arrived a little after 1 am. The chauffer dropped off Shannon at a hotel near downtown Poway so she was alone when she arrived.

Starlene was thankfully already asleep, so was her stepmom. Only her dad was still awake, waiting for her to come home.

"Oh Y/n dear, you're home. How was it?" Her dad asked as she came in through the door.

"It was amazing, dad!" She gushed.

She quickly told him about everything including how she met David backstage. But she was too embarrassed to tell him how Sebastian requested a song to David to play for her, so she omitted that part from her story.

"Well, I'm so glad you had a lot of fun. You should do that more often. I rarely see you smile with a twinkle in your eyes like you are now." Her dad smiled.

"Oh Dad. I guess I really needed some me-time. Maybe I'll do it again someday."

"You should. It's good for your mental health." He stated, giving her a meaningful look.

"Yeah, thanks, Dad. How was Starlene? Was she cranky?" She asked in concern.

"A little. She just cried when she was hungry or tired."

"Okay, that's normal. Was she looking for me?"

"Yeah, she wanted to nurse several times and would snuggle on Diane's or my chest. But we just gave her the bottle and she thankfully accepted without much fuss." He explained.

"Okay, that's good. Thank you so much for taking care of her today, dad." She said as she gave him a hug.

"No problem, dear. Now let's go to sleep. I'm really sleepy." He said as he yawned and stretched his body.

"Okay, good night, dad." She smiled and gave him a peck on his cheek.

"Good night, dear." He smiled.

After cleaning herself up and changing into her sleeping attire, she climbed into bed bringing her cellphone and the package that David had given her earlier.

She wanted to send Sebastian a text message after opening the package. She decided not to call him that night because it was dawn where he was, she suspected he would still be asleep.

Her eyes widened as she opened the package and found a novel inside. He had sent her The Notebook. The famous romance novel that told a story of a couple, Noah and Allie, which had been turned into a movie starring Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams.

She opened the first page and as usual he had asked her to read the passages he had highlighted. But he also added a little opening greeting.

My dearest Y/n,

You are special.

You are the most beautiful woman in the world.

You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

I am still yours, my queen, my timeless beauty.

You are, and always have been, the best thing in my life.

You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side just as I have treasured our life together.

You are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have. I love you, more than you can ever imagine. I always have, and I always will.

What we have is rare. It's too beautiful to just throw it away.

We're meant to be together. We always have been.

We'll never be over.

I'll never leave you. What we have is forever.

We'll find a way to be together.

I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours. And, my darling, you will always be mine.

Her heart swelled in happiness and happy tears pooled in her eyes as she read all of the passages he had highlighted. Receiving this from him really was the perfect way to end the day.

As if on cue, her cellphone buzzed. Sebastian had just sent her a message. He was apparently still awake.

Dearest Y/n,

You are my Allie.

And I want to be your Noah.

She couldn't help it anymore and she finally cried upon reading the message.

She realized then how much Sebastian really loved her. But she couldn't shake the thought that if he really loved her, why wouldn't he sacrifice his job for her and Starlene? Why would he choose his job over attending his own daughter's first birthday party, which will not happen a second time ever.

Her mind and heart went to war with each other as she contemplated on what to do. Her heart considered all of the things he had given to her family, all of the flowers he had sent, all of the beautiful quotes he had conveyed to her, and how he had facilitated the best experience ever for her that day.

Her mind however, reminded her that despite everything, he still wasn't going to show up for his own daughter's birthday party. Isn't that a red flag?

Tears continued falling down her cheek as the conflict continued to rage on inside her.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and stared at her cellphone's screen. Her thumb hovering above the reply button.

After several minutes eventually her mind won and she started to type a response.

Dearest Seb,

Thank you so much for such a wonderful day. I had the best time ever! I really appreciate what you have done for me.

I'm sorry but.. I'm not ready to be your Allie yet. I hope you can understand that.

It took only a second after she sent the message for Sebastian to call her.

"Seb.." she picked up the phone and greeted him, her heart pounding hard in her chest.

"Y/n.. my love.. I love you deeply and I hope you know that." He said.

She realized he was still quoting The Notebook and that made her laugh.

"Oh, Seb. You don't need to quote The Notebook anymore." She chuckled.

"Oh, but I do. My words never seem enough for you. I.. I miss you so much, sweetheart. I love you so much and I.. I can barely function without you. I'm sorry sweetheart. Please.. please come back to me." He pleaded.

"Seb.. " she sighed.

"Please honey.. please.." his voice shook and he started to cry it seemed, she could hear his sobs from the other end.

Her heart ached listening to him crying but she knew she needed to stand her ground. She wanted to know how much he was willing to sacrifice for her before she was ready to come back to him.

"Seb.. I.. I'm sorry. But, like I said. Words meant nothing without action." She said slowly.

Sebastian stayed quiet and didn't respond to what she said. Eventually she could hear him sniffle and he sighed.

"I understand, honey. Like Noah said, you are still my queen, my timeless beauty. You are, and always have been, the best thing in my life. And I love you deeply. Just.. just remember that." He said, his voice shook.

"I know, Seb. Thank you." That was all she could say as she felt her heart screamed internally, begging her to say it back to him but her mind prevented her to do it.

"Good night my love. Sweet dreams." He finally said.

"Good night, Seb. And thank you again." She replied.

She hung up the phone feeling empty inside. If what she had done was right, if what she had done was to protect her heart, then why did it feel so painful and wrong? She thought as she laid down on the bed and started to cry.

Eventually she fell asleep, with a hollow feeling in her chest and the knowledge that she might have lost a part of her soul.

---

La Venta Dr, Poway, California - July 13th 2023 - 3 pm

It was finally the day of Starlene's birthday. Her dad's house was full of people. All of his neighbours had come bringing many children who were running around on the front lawn, playing on the bouncy castle. Everyone whom she had invited had come. Her brother was there, Shannon was there, and her mother-in-law was there too. The only one who wasn't there was Sebastian.

She felt a pang in her heart as she remembered it. Sebastian had been very apologetic. Being the generous soul that he was, he ended up paying for and arranging everything for Starlene's birthday, from the decorations, the food and even the entertainment. She was grateful for that but she still couldn't shake the sadness in her heart that Sebastian wasn't there.

She was on the front lawn with Starlene and her mother-in-law while everyone around them mingled, nibbled on the snacks provided and generally had some good time.

Starlene was standing on the grass as she leaned down and held both of Starlene's hands, helping her to learn walking. Her grandmother, Sebastian's mom, stood several steps in front of them, encouraging Starlene to walk towards her.

"That's it Starlene.. step by step.. you can do it." Sebastian's mother cooed.

Starlene giggled as she took step after step towards her grandmother. Both her hands held on tightly to her. She tried to slowly let her hand go, to see if Starlene was able to make her first step herself. But the moment she let go, Starlene wobbled and fell down onto the grass.

"That's okay, Starlene. Let's try again." She smiled as she saw Starlene's pout.

She helped her to get back on her feet then started to guide her to walk again.

Suddenly Starlene stopped and her eyes widened in surprise.

"Dada.. " she said.

Her heart seemed to stop as she heard her call her dad. She looked up to see what Starlene was looking at and started to laugh.

Someone in an Elmo costume was walking towards their direction. Leave it to Starlene to call Elmo her dad. She thought in amusement.

She knew she didn't book any entertainment in the form of Elmo. So she was sure this was another of Sebastian's surprises.

Elmo walked closer towards her and Starlene let her hands go. Slowly but surely, she took step after step towards Elmo.

"Dada.. dada.." she continued saying as she walked towards whoever was in the Elmo costume.

She shook her head as she whipped out her cellphone and started shooting a video of Starlene. Her first walk and it was towards Elmo. How so memorable. She chuckled.

Elmo stopped walking and knelt on the ground as Starlene came closer to him. He opened his arms wide and Starlene practically ran towards him. Elmo embraced Starlene in his arms and gave her a tight hug.

"Dada.." Starlene said again, releasing herself from Elmo's embrace and placing her hand on his face.

"Oh Starlene my darling little star. I've missed you so much!" Elmo said.

Her heart seemed to stop as she listened to what Elmo just said.

Could it be..

She almost dropped her cellphone when Elmo took off the top part of his costume.

She closed her mouth with her hand, her eyes widened in surprise, as she looked at the man inside the Elmo costume. The man looked back at her, a familiar smile on his face, a twinkle in his beautiful bright blue eyes. The world seemed to stop as she gazed at the eyes of the love of her life and they stared at each other with so much love and longing.

Chapter 22 >

Taglist @sebsgirl71479 @dhoruwolfie

[realmadridfamily]

“I was in the hotel after the national team match (Belgium 2-0 England) and a photo of Mishel with a dog popped up on Instagram. I only watch profiles that I follow and I didn't know her but she suddenly popped up. I thought it was a very sweet photo and commented, "Cuties" not intending for her to respond to me. But it worked." - recalls Thibaut Courtois. It was November 2020, in the middle of the global crisis caused by the Covid-19 pandemic, and no one, not even themselves, expected that this whim of fate would turn them into the heroes of a love story. «I saw the message and thought, “Okay, fine. – I will answer you. And I wrote : "Thank you." He immediately asked me how my day was, how everything was going, and I thought: "This guy is cute." - explains model Mishel Gerzig.

From that evening on, they started talking non-stop. Every day. Until almost six months later, in April 2021, they saw each other for the first time in Madrid. “And we never parted again.” she says, stroking his hand, and the bouncer smiles knowingly in response. This is the first joint session after the wedding, which took place last July in a fairy-tale castle on the French Riviera, and after a serious knee injury that has kept Tibo off the pitch since August. During the session, they share confidences, smile, hug and kiss between photos... They are in a state of absolute happiness that cannot be hidden.

ELLE : Your relationship started long distance, but what was it like the first time you met in person?

THIBAUT: It was in Barajas, at the airport. You could fly to Spain from France, so she first flew from Israel to Paris and from there to Madrid. Right after landing, she told me that she had a problem with her passport and that they wouldn't let her into the country. It was a joke, but I was shocked and started thinking about how I could solve it. I couldn't believe it, I felt terrible.

MISHEL: (laugh). I thought of this joke to break the ice because I was very nervous when I saw him.

T: She was traveling with her best friend and they spent the night at my house. But we slept separately! (laugh). We had been talking on FaceTime all the time for months, we knew each other very well, but we needed to meet in person. We didn't plan much. We went for lunch, dinner, walked, talked for hours... I tried to get a friend to accompany me to training or a match. In fact, Mishel sometimes visited Di Stéfano, where we were playing at the time. And everything came out naturally, it worked. She brought a suitcase for two weeks because she had the idea to go to Amsterdam to work and then she never left (laugh).

M: That's true! The pandemic started and I was in Israel. When I had the opportunity to travel, I wanted to resume modeling, but my plans changed (laughter). I planned to stay here for two weeks, but I stayed much longer. That's because we had so much fun together. We already knew that we understood each other well remotely, but we tested each other in person and our relationship was even stronger.

E: So much so that you quickly became engaged.

T: And I wanted it to be even earlier (laugh). In January 2022, I went to buy a ring with a friend and thought: "I want one too." We had only been together for a few months, but I knew Mishel was the love of my life. I decided to wait until June to do it in a unique way. She loves the sea, so I found the right moment, improvised during a trip to Positano and asked her. We didn't want to wait so long to get married, but due to the World Cup and other commitments with Real Madrid and the Belgian national team, it was difficult to find an earlier date.

E: Thibaut is an international football star. Did you feel dizzy when you entered his world?

M: At first, yes. I thought about how I would cope. Tibo attracts a lot of attention and generates a lot of noise, but I slowly got used to it. It's beautiful to see all the love it awakens in people.

E: Shortly after the wedding, an injury occurred. How did you survive it?

T: The first day was difficult. I wrote to Mishel: "I think I broke my knee in training."

M: I quickly took the car and drove to Valdebebas.

T: We went for an MRI, which quickly showed that I had a serious injury. I was still inside and they had already told Mishel and the physio what happened. When I came out, I cried, but then I felt people's support and I started thinking positively. You can't go back. Mishel helped me a lot, especially in the first month when I was limping and could barely move. Now I'm working hard to come back as soon as possible and be 100% healthy.

E: How did this situation change your daily life?

T: Now I spend more hours training, but I also have more flexibility when it comes to being with my children and Mishel. The good thing is that they adore her, so we spend a lot of time together. The injury made me look at everything from a different perspective. I love football and I miss it, but there are other things I love and want to do. This year I'm going to start my Master's in Sports Management and hope to graduate. We also have several businesses (he invested in the production of plant milk, in Neat Burger, vegan burgers, in which Leonardo DiCaprio and Lewis Hamilton are also partners; he has a Formula 4 team, TC Racing, and Mishel is preparing to open a beauty salon in Madrid), it is worth develop mentally and learn new things. We are both curious and excited.

M: I'm lucky that in my job I can move deadlines freely. Previously, I did it to be with him at important matches and support him. When he got injured, I changed my schedule to spend more time at home to help him. And now, when I feel much better, I have gone to work in the United States. For me, balance is the most important thing because I want to do both, have time for work, but also for my personal and family life.

E: Speaking of family, your Mishel lives in Israel. How do you deal with what's going on there?

M: All people who were born there have been up to date with the current conflict throughout their lives. It's not that you get used to it, but you grow up having it in your everyday life. I served in the military for two years, so I know this up close. It's very painful to see what point this has gotten to. My family and friends are seeing and hearing terrible things as we all know people who have been killed or injured.

T: When I was a child and saw this conflict on TV, I didn't understand anything. This is a delicate and complicated issue for those of us who are neither Palestinian nor Israeli. Now I have family and friends there, so I experience it more closely, but I am Belgian. I show my support and respect every opinion, as long as it is expressed in a polite manner. We are all human and no one wants innocent people to die. This is the most important. But now there is a lot of hate, especially online, there is a lot of division and it is very difficult. These are things that cannot be allowed because we all want peace.

M: I have been living with this confrontation for 26 years, but I want to be positive and believe that peace will come and that all innocent people will be safe.

E: How did your careers start?

M: I started when I was 13, participating in a beauty pageant in Tel Aviv. At the age of 16, I worked outside Israel for the first time, on shows and campaigns in Milan and Miami.

T: I have been playing football since I was a child. At the age of 16, I was lucky enough to join Genk, one of the best teams in Belgium. When I was 18, we won the league and that made me grow. Chelsea signed a contract with me and loaned me to Atlético Madrid. I didn't speak Spanish, but I felt it was time to leave, even though almost no one around me was supportive. The first weeks were difficult, but I immediately felt the warmth of the people. The crowd and the team welcomed me very warmly and that made me fall in love with Madrid and Spain. When I had to go to England, it was very difficult for me to adapt because I missed Madrid. That's why I was happy to come back in 2018.

E: First you were at Atléti and now at Real Madrid. Do you think people understand this?

T: I know this is hard to understand for someone who loves Atléti. For the three years I played there, I gave everything I had to win. But I'm an athlete, it's my profession and I have to improve and fulfill my dreams by making bold decisions. Of course, I respect my past and never forget about it.

E: What are your plans for the future?

T: Growing the family, that's the first. And helping people, and that's the most important thing to both of us. To come back well after the injury and be in the best shape. Develop businesses and continue to enjoy life together in Madrid, with family and five dogs. I love sports and will always be involved in it, but when I retire, I see myself coaching youth teams rather than senior teams. It's too much pressure and too much time away from home. I think Mishel would throw me out of it (laugh).

[seitmai]

Many thoughts once again...

"Did you delete her number yet?" Nat asked as she lifted her helmet and Bob's off of the shelf in the hangar where their gear was stored when they weren't flying. "Or are you trying to prolong the pain like some sort of sadistic artist?"

Good god, I'm sorry to say this but Nat needs to get laid (I volunteer)

I tried for ten years to get Bradley to contact his wife, but he just flounced around in the gray area like an idiot instead. Don't be like him," she said firmly, pointing to where Bradley was looking down at his phone with a dopey smile on his face. He was almost definitely texting his wife if he looked like that.

She's not wrong, but I feel like this Is more complicated (unfortunately) also the dopey look on Bradley feels very on brand haha

Nat rolled her eyes and held her hands up in the air. "Why don't you," she said, waving her fingers like she was performing magic, "talk to her again?!"

If one person of the group could do magic, it would definitely be Phoenix, so who knows what's she's doing here haha

She probably needed to get laid more than Bob ever did.

Facts and if even Bob says it, it's very true

But every time she thought about seeing his face, she started to panic. She had seen nothing except kind faces for months. The faces of her friends. The faces of her students. Bob's beautiful blue eyes always seemed to look at her with a smile behind them. Even now, after she met up with him for a little bit at the bookstore, his eyes were kind.

🥺🥺🥺

With a nod, the man said, "Please try to find a seat at the back to keep disruption to a minimum. I believe Dr. Webber is still speaking, and you know how excited we all are to have him here."

Lmao why am I just know realizing the Grey's Anatomy name connection

He was built similarly to Bob, which was a frightening realization. Where Kevin always used his size as an intimidation tactic, Bob had never done that to her. She always felt safe around him. Right now she felt very unsafe around Kevin, even though they were literally in the midst of a crowd of people.

That is such an awful feeling 🥺💔

She clenched and unclenched her fist. The desire to punch him in the face was so strong as her other hand shook with the papers grasped between her fingers. She was far from jealous, and he knew it. He wanted to get a rise out of her because he felt cornered. "I don't care what these people think about me," she whispered. "But you do. So just sign it."

Kevin deserved an even bigger scene, like Anna rushing the stage or something, I know she's not the type for doing it but I just know embarrassing Kevin before a crowd would hit him the hardest and he deserves it so bad!! 😤🤬

Bob sighed and tipped his head back. "She's not my girlfriend. She never was." "Not with that attitude," his neighbor mused under her breath.

Suzanne is a savage hahaha

It sounded neutral enough. If she said no, he'd ask Jessica to make sure the ladies were checking in on her. If she said yes, then Bob could see with his own eyes if she was okay. He would also get to see with his own eyes how fucking beautiful she was, but that didn't matter as much, honestly.

🥺🥺🥺

Before she went down to the quad with her lunch bag, Anna adjusted her cardigan. She knew her sleeve was covering his bruised arm, but she felt naked all morning during her lectures anyway. She felt like her skin and the inside of her brain were on full display for everyone. She wondered when Alyssa was due. She wondered if Kevin slept with Dr. Harmon when he was in Toronto last June or last October. Perhaps both. She wondered how someone who was so full of shit could keep coming out ahead of her.

God I feel so bad for Anna 😭 she is plagued by these thoughts and has a physical!! reminder of Kevin's grip on her and she won't share her struggles, which just shows how much (psycological, ecological,...) violence she has and is still enduring by the hands of Kevin 💔

"Don't worry. Bradley and I aren't going anywhere for term break. I wanted to, but his favorite Grateful Dead cover band is playing right here in San Diego on New Year's Eve, and he absolutely can't miss it. That would be a crime."

This is very Bradley lol

"We will," Anna confirmed. Even though it was a little awkward, she'd had a nice time with him at the bookstore. She always did. Because he was kind and sweet and literally the opposite of everything that Kevin turned out to be. She just wished there was some reality in which she could feel his arms around her again. "We will."

They sure will😭

Bob squared his shoulders to try to match the other man's height as he rounded the corner completely and asked

Yes, Bob square that Asshole up!!!

The answer was swift and felt like a punch to the gut. "She's my wife, and she's coming back to New Jersey with me where I can keep track of her. She doesn't belong here, and she needs to stop lying. So why don't you tell me what you want from her?"

I literally want to throw up, I kid you not reading this made me feel physically sick

His nostrils flared as his fingers curled into fists, and Bob had to take a few deep breaths before he said, "I just wanted to make sure she's okay."

😭💔😭💔😭

"Thanks," he muttered, heading for the stairwell and taking the steps two at a time until he reached Anna's floor. And then her apartment. What he heard coming from inside made him want to rip the door from the hinges.

This ending has me stressed the fuck out!!!

In this chapter, we got a glimpse into the lengths and severity of the abuse and violence Anna has had to endure and its heartbreaking💔 it is at part so hard for me to read because violence in partnerships especially against women comes in so many forms and is such an important topic to me. I just can't wait for Anna to get her manuscript and hopefully revenge (legally by destroying him or something lol)

Covering the Classics Part 13 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Confronting Kevin in California should have made Anna feel like she had the advantage, but nothing with him ever went to plan. As soon as Bob encounters Anna's husband for himself, he knows something isn't quite right.

Warnings: Angst, Kevin is a dick, bruises on Anna's arm, adult language, 18+

Length: 4300 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story is part of the Beer Boy/Sugar and Jake/Jessica universe)

Covering the Classics masterlist. Check my masterlist for more!

"Did you delete her number yet?" Nat asked as she lifted her helmet and Bob's off of the shelf in the hangar where their gear was stored when they weren't flying. "Or are you trying to prolong the pain like some sort of sadistic artist?"

Bob flinched at her words, because she hit a little too close to home for his liking. It wasn't that he wanted to be missing Anna like this, but he had been writing a lot of poetry about her. He couldn't help himself. He hadn't posted any since the one about his bookshelf, but that didn't mean his computer wasn't full of it.

"I'm not trying to prolong the pain," he told his friend with a grimace. "I don't know what I'm doing."

She shoved his helmet down onto his head and told him, "I know she threw you for a loop, but either delete her number or give her another chance. Don't sit in this annoying gray area. I don't know why you guys insist on doing that shit. I tried for ten years to get Bradley to contact his wife, but he just flounced around in the gray area like an idiot instead. Don't be like him," she said firmly, pointing to where Bradley was looking down at his phone with a dopey smile on his face. He was almost definitely texting his wife if he looked like that.

Bob sighed. "Nat, I don't know if she wants me to give her another chance right now. She said she's going to deal with her husband, but I think she needs time."

Nat rolled her eyes and held her hands up in the air. "Why don't you," she said, waving her fingers like she was performing magic, "talk to her again?!"

Bob pulled his helmet off again, saying, "What would you suggest I say? She already knows I've had feelings for her for months. There's just a point where it becomes too much."

"You could tell her that even though it blew up in your face, she's the best lay of your life." Bob immediately wished he hadn't told her that. "Or that you'll still be around after she figures her shit out. I think the ball is in your court."

He was still blushing furiously and nowhere closer to knowing what he should be doing when they all got called to the tower, but he did smile when Nat snapped at Bradley to put his phone away. She probably needed to get laid more than Bob ever did.

---------------------------

The bus ride from San Diego to Carlsbad shouldn't take an hour and a half when it would take barely forty minutes to drive yourself. Not for the first time, Anna wished she had a car in California. That way she could get to Kevin faster. Kevin. Fucking Kevin. The man who was the reason she didn't have a car in California.

She needed to stay calm. If she could catch him while his guard was down and convince him to just sign the paperwork, she would be golden. But every time she thought about seeing his face, she started to panic. She had seen nothing except kind faces for months. The faces of her friends. The faces of her students. Bob's beautiful blue eyes always seemed to look at her with a smile behind them. Even now, after she met up with him for a little bit at the bookstore, his eyes were kind.

Her hands shook slightly. She needed to deal with Kevin so she could move on and never have to see him again. Then she could work on getting back to the people who didn't look at her like she was worthless. When the bus finally fought its way through traffic and made a stop near the hotel where the conference was being held, she sprinted down the steps and up the block. She had already memorized the map and knew she needed to find the grand ballroom, but when she got to the upscale hotel, she was sweaty and panting for breath, and even the doorman was looking at her skeptically as she slipped inside.

The lobby was crowded enough that she padded her way across the marble floor in her beat up sneakers, blending in well enough with the others. Signs for the National Neurological Physicians Association conference were plastered all over the place, and she had to keep from rolling her eyes. It was laughable that physicians from all over would come here to listen to Kevin blathering on and on about his specialty area of study. But when Anna paused to really think about it for a second, something close to cold fury started flowing through her veins, because she was the one who paid for that for him. She was the reason he was a speaker at this massive conference in the first place.

With renewed purpose, she picked up her pace and turned right past the elevator bank, following the signs that led her toward several people in monogrammed lab coats. The ballroom was in sight, and she was ready to push through the double doors when one of the men in a lab coat popped up in front of her. 

"Not so fast," he said, a forced smile plastered on his face. "You're late for the introductory speakers, and you haven't signed in yet."

"Oh," she said, scrambling to push her bag up on her shoulder. "Right." When he gestured toward a long table with some unclaimed name badges and information booklets, Anna's heart skipped a beat. She took a step closer, praying nobody would ask her for any sort of identification, and reached for the badge that said Dr. Angela Harmon, MD. She clipped it onto her shirt, realizing she was terribly under dressed to even try to pull this off, and then she picked up the booklet with Dr. Harmon's name on it as well. "Is this all I need?" she asked, tapping the name badge and praying this random woman didn't decide to show up right now.

With a nod, the man said, "Please try to find a seat at the back to keep disruption to a minimum. I believe Dr. Webber is still speaking, and you know how excited we all are to have him here."

Anna had to bite down on the inside of her cheek and take a deep breath before she could say, "So excited," through clenched teeth. "I wouldn't dream of being disruptive."

"Of course not," he agreed, finally smiling kindly. "Enjoy the conference, Dr. Harmon."

Carefully and as quietly as she could, Anna entered the ballroom to find hundreds of people sitting in rows of chairs listening to her worthless husband giving a presentation in a three piece suit. 

"But we already know recent attempts to update computational axial tomography are largely like someone trying to reinvent the wheel," he said with a charming smile, and the room hummed with amused laughter like everyone was in on some sort of inside joke. Anna's skin crawled as she carefully took a seat in the last row, praying Kevin hadn't seen her yet. If he was this well known and well regarded in his field, then he didn't need money from her manuscript. He was simply holding onto it to be an ass.

She had to listen to him for twenty more minutes after that. Nineteen too long in her book. His voice sounded light and carefree, and his smile was handsome and unassuming. Frankly he was putting on some sort of persona, and it was nothing like she was used to. But it wasn't until he started on a short presentation that Anna's attention was piqued, because it was then that she saw he was using the laptop that they used to share. The one she used to type up her book.

A soft sound escaped her as she stared longingly at it, wondering if her work was still there. He slammed the computer shut, and she was jolted back to reality as he said, "Once again, thank you all for being here for the next week. We have so many groundbreaking topics to learn about and some of the most renowned research physicians in the country sharing their expertise with us. Let's take a quick break and then dive right into new MRI techniques with Dr. Nunez."

There was an immediate round of applause, and Anna jumped to her feet, heart pounding so hard, it was making her nauseous. When she headed toward his cocky, smiling face, she realized Kevin was already surrounded by colleagues, shaking hands and laughing. And that was when he spotted her. They'd been on the phone just a handful of hours ago, but he looked shocked to see her here. She watched his sharp, gray eyes narrow in on her with a spiteful glare before he smoothed out his features into something neutral. And that's when she came to terms with the fact that he would know she was living in southern California. That's when she knew she needed to make this work.

"Anna," he said with absolutely no emotion as she cut in front of the person he was talking to. "What are you doing here?"

She swallowed hard, imagining Bob and her two friends were with her, urging her on, cheering for her to fix this. "I have something for you to sign," she told him as her voice shook. She took a step closer as she reached into her bag to pull out the folded paperwork and a pen.

"No," he practically growled under his breath, trying not to draw more attention to himself. "Why are you doing this here? I'm a little busy."

Anna wanted to laugh in his face. She was a little busy trying to get on with her stupid life, but that didn't stop him from disrupting her mission every day. "Just sign the divorce papers, Kevin," she demanded, but she sounded like a child even to her own ears. His eyes flashed with so much anger, she could barely breathe with him this close to her. He was built similarly to Bob, which was a frightening realization. Where Kevin always used his size as an intimidation tactic, Bob had never done that to her. She always felt safe around him. Right now she felt very unsafe around Kevin, even though they were literally in the midst of a crowd of people.

"Just sign it," she whispered, trying to push the document into his solid chest. It was unbelievable that at one time, she was in love with this man. It was crazy to think about how he used to tell her he loved her too. "Please, Kevin." He looked so angry right now, and Anna felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up in fear as the people behind her started whispering.

"Who is this woman? That's not Alyssa."

"Did she say divorce? Isn't he married to that other physician? The pregnant one?"

So Alyssa was pregnant. And nobody here even knew about Anna. It was like she didn't even exist. Like she had never existed to her husband. A mortifying little sob bubbled free from the back of her throat, and she looked up at Kevin as he said, "Let's take a little walk."

His hand closed around her bicep, and Anna wanted to yelp as he pulled her up onto the stage, past the podium, where nobody else would be able to hear them. The laptop was right there, and she considered trying to take it, but she'd never make it out of the hotel let alone back to her apartment with it. Instead she tripped along next to him until he had her where he wanted her.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" he snarled. "Were you always this stupid? Or have you gotten worse?"

"Come on, Kevin," she pleaded, and he finally released her throbbing arm. "You don't need it. Look how well you're doing. You don't need my book."

He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair as if he was trying his hardest to keep his composure. "You think you can come here and embarrass me in front of my peers? Mentioning our marriage like we still have one when you moved away?"

Her fist clenched at her side. "Our marriage didn't fall apart because I left," she hissed under her breath. "It fell apart because of you. And now your mistress is pregnant?"

Kevin sighed. "I understand that you're jealous, Anna. I really do, but I'm not signing anything for you."

She clenched and unclenched her fist. The desire to punch him in the face was so strong as her other hand shook with the papers grasped between her fingers. She was far from jealous, and he knew it. He wanted to get a rise out of her because he felt cornered. "I don't care what these people think about me," she whispered. "But you do. So just sign it."

He stood before her, tall and broad with his jaw set as he said, "There is no way in hell you have what it takes to intimidate me. Now get the fuck out of here, or I will have security remove you from the hotel for disrupting the conference."

She knew she didn't have any other choice. If she somehow got herself in trouble for being here, she didn't have the money to spend on more legal help. So she took a step backwards just as Kevin's hand flew up to pull the name badge from her shirt. "And you're obviously not Dr. Harmon. She has enormous tits, and I fucked her last year in Toronto. Now go." 

Twenty minutes later, Anna was back on the bus heading south toward San Diego, empty handed with tears in her eyes and a bruised arm.

-----------------------------

"What happened to your pretty girlfriend?"

Bob looked up from his phone as he walked up his porch steps after a long run on Monday evening. He hadn't been sleeping well, debating reaching out to Anna again, and he was hoping the run would tire him out. But he should have known Suzanne would have her door open and her game shows blaring at this hour.

"Hi, Suzanne," he said, wishing he could just duck inside his own place without having to chat with her.

"I haven't seen her again in weeks."

Bob sighed and tipped his head back. "She's not my girlfriend. She never was."

"Not with that attitude," his neighbor mused under her breath.

"You have a good night, Suzanne." Bob swatted Sylvester away from his front door before heading inside and up to take a shower. He thought about Anna as he ran his soapy hands along his body. He tried not to, but she was on his mind a lot. When he climbed into bed, his skin felt too hot. He opened the window to let the late fall air in, but it did nothing to help him. He wanted to see her, even just to make sure she was still okay.

He reached for his phone, typed up a text, and then deleted it. "You sound so desperate for her," he groaned, trying again. But again he had to delete it rather than send it. Finally he settled on something simple.

Hey, I've been craving some peanuts from Chippy's. Feel like joining me for a bit tomorrow?

It sounded neutral enough. If she said no, he'd ask Jessica to make sure the ladies were checking in on her. If she said yes, then Bob could see with his own eyes if she was okay. He would also get to see with his own eyes how fucking beautiful she was, but that didn't matter as much, honestly.

He was just slipping into a daydream where Anna's husband divorced her tomorrow and never left the state of New Jersey again when his phone vibrated on his nightstand.

Anna Webber: Peanuts from Chippy's sound heavenly right now. I would love to join you for a little bit.

He exhaled as the cooler air finally met his skin, and he pulled his sheet over himself after he promised to meet her there.

----------------------------

Before she went down to the quad with her lunch bag, Anna adjusted her cardigan. She knew her sleeve was covering his bruised arm, but she felt naked all morning during her lectures anyway. She felt like her skin and the inside of her brain were on full display for everyone. She wondered when Alyssa was due. She wondered if Kevin slept with Dr. Harmon when he was in Toronto last June or last October. Perhaps both. She wondered how someone who was so full of shit could keep coming out ahead of her.

"Anna!"

At least her friends were still faithfully waiting for her at the weird looking tree. And at least Bob was making it a point to let her know she was welcome around him. She could hardly wait to go to Chippy's later. 

"Hi," she said, plopping down in between them on the bench, adjusting her sleeve one more time before pulling her sad sandwich out. "What's new in the world of science and mathematics?"

Almost immediately, she had a container of veggies and a homemade ranch dip in her hand while her friend told her about a fascinating math conference she wanted to go to next year in Philadelphia. Apparently the dates were just announced, and you had to be someone important to even get an invitation. Anna loved that her friend already knew she was going to go, but it made her dwell on Kevin and his conference which was still going on in Carlsbad.

"Oh!" Jessica said as she poured some potato chips on her already delectable looking sandwich. "Jake and I are going to Cabo next month! A much needed break after the term ends."

"I love that for you," Anna told her, feeling jealous in spite of herself. And that made her feel even sadder. She almost winced when her other friend wrapped her arm around her, inadvertently mashing her hand against the bruise from Kevin.

"Don't worry. Bradley and I aren't going anywhere for term break. I wanted to, but his favorite Grateful Dead cover band is playing right here in San Diego on New Year's Eve, and he absolutely can't miss it. That would be a crime." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm which made Anna laugh. "How's your week going?" she asked cautiously. 

Anna wanted to tell them all about going to the conference at the hotel. She wanted to tell them that she saw Kevin and left with less than nothing. She would tell them, but not right now when she only had a little bit of time before she had to give her Classics lecture. She didn't want to run the risk of arriving to the lecture hall with tears in her eyes. 

Instead she softly said, "I'm going to see Bob later. Just a quick visit to Chippy's for some peanuts."

Jessica was instantly vibrating with excitement. "That's great. I think you and he will have fun!"

"We will," Anna confirmed. Even though it was a little awkward, she'd had a nice time with him at the bookstore. She always did. Because he was kind and sweet and literally the opposite of everything that Kevin turned out to be. She just wished there was some reality in which she could feel his arms around her again. "We will."

The end of lunch came way more quickly than she wanted it to, and Anna found herself mentally regrouping to try to find another way to get her manuscript. She taught her last two lectures and graded a handful of essays, counting down the minutes until she could see Bob again. His blue eyes would be soft when he looked at her, and his words would be enough to make her feel better even if they only engaged in some small talk.

When she only had thirty minutes until she was supposed to meet him, she printed off sixty copies of the quiz she would need for tomorrow afternoon. Anna locked her office door behind her as she headed down to the teacher's lounge to retrieve the quizzes before someone moved them, never to be seen again. She learned her lesson after last time that if you didn't grab them right away, there was a good chance they'd end up in the trash. Then she would drop them off before going to meet Bob.

----------------------------

Since he was running early, Bob decided to just head to Anna's office and meet her there. He'd been so antsy to see her, he showered and dressed in his favorite jeans and tee shirt in record time after work. Even though he'd only been in this one academic building one time, he remembered exactly how to get to her office. Having an outstanding sense of direction just came with the territory for a WSO, but her hallway also smelled like fresh baked bread.

When he rounded the last corner, Bob skidded to a halt and ducked back behind the wall. There was a man about his age who was vigorously jiggling Anna's doorknob. "Anna. Open the door so we can talk," he said calmly even as he pushed his fingers through his hair in exasperation. Bob didn't know who he was, but he had a bad feeling, and that's when the man turned his head and spotted him.

Bob squared his shoulders to try to match the other man's height as he rounded the corner completely and asked, "Are you looking for Dr. Webber?"

The other man appraised him with cool gray eyes and smirked. "Let me guess. You're sleeping with her?"

Bob's heart lurched into his stomach as the color drained from his face. He knew this had to be Kevin. He knew it without confirmation, and now he didn't know how the hell he was supposed to respond. So he simply kept his mouth shut while the other man took a step in his direction.

"She really likes to act so high and mighty. Very hypocritical in this scenario," he muttered, making Bob's skin crawl. "I can't believe her."

Bob swallowed hard, trying to figure out why Anna agreed to go to Chippy's today if she knew Kevin was in San Diego. All he knew about was what she'd told him when she came to his house. Bob didn't think he should divulge too much to this man, so he simply asked, "What do you want from her?"

The answer was swift and felt like a punch to the gut. "She's my wife, and she's coming back to New Jersey with me where I can keep track of her. She doesn't belong here, and she needs to stop lying. So why don't you tell me what you want from her?"

His nostrils flared as his fingers curled into fists, and Bob had to take a few deep breaths before he said, "I just wanted to make sure she's okay."

Kevin crossed his arms over his chest and said, "She's nothing you need to be concerned about."

The uneasy feeling that started to fill him up spread through his whole body now, and Bob took a step backwards. Maybe Anna was already at Chippy's. Maybe she didn't know Kevin was here at all. He backtracked his way through the building as he started to panic. What if she did know he was here? What if she had played Bob and everyone else the whole time?

He would check for her at Chippy's. He made it all the way across the quad to a weird looking tree that was growing sideways when he froze again. It just didn't make sense. Anna said she hated Kevin and never wanted to go back to New Jersey, and Bob had no reason to believe someone else over her.

He started calling her phone, torn as to which direction he should head. Back up to her office? To Chippy's where they were supposed to meet up? She didn't answer. He started toward the bar, covering the few blocks at a brisk pace as he tried to call her again. He walked back and forth across that sticky floor through the clusters of students enjoying an after class drink before he was satisfied that she wasn't there. 

"Damn it, Anna. Answer your phone," he muttered as he ran back to her building and up to her office. The building was virtually empty at this hour, and now there was nobody in the hallway at all. He knocked on her door and called out her name, but he was met with silence. The kind of silence that just didn't feel right.

He felt like he was going crazy, running in circles both metaphorically and physically for this woman, and when he finally reached his truck, he had to wipe the sweat from his brow. Her apartment wasn't far from campus, and he didn't know where else to even look at this point. When he got there, he parked and tried to call her one more time before someone else who lived in the building simply held the door open for him.

"Thanks," he muttered, heading for the stairwell and taking the steps two at a time until he reached Anna's floor. And then her apartment. What he heard coming from inside made him want to rip the door from the hinges.

--------------------------

I hate Kevin. Hate. Him. I'm sorry, but he's still going to get worse. Just remember that Bob is a sweet cinnamon bun. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

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[c-smix]

A/N

HIII THIS IS MY 1ST STORY ON HERE!! i wrote this for a short story comp for my school and ended up getting 2nd place!! i hope you enjoy reading this!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I was five years old when it happened. It was the 16th of June 2005 when my entire world around me collapsed and crumbled into pieces.

That day I woke up being blinded by a glimpse of sunlight flashing through my sunlight washed curtains. The smell of a perfectly cooked breakfast coming from my kitchen making me realise how hungry I was. I quickly shot out of my bunk bed and climbed down the ladder to see my younger sister, Isabella, peacefully sleeping in her bed, her brown hair spread out on her pillow. I stood there for a few seconds before snapping out of it and quietly making my way out of our shared room, trying not to wake her with our old, squeaky door.

I waddled my way to my kitchen to meet my mom making breakfast. I think she could feel my presence because soon after I had been standing there for a while she swung her head around to face me and gave me her famous smile. My mom was always a very cheery and strong person, only showing her weakness behind closed doors. Her deep brown curls bounced as she looked at me.

“Good morning sleepyhead” she said in a calm but also excited tone as I made my way over to our wooden table and sat in a chair. I could hear our stove clicking off and the rustling and banging of plates coming from our cupboards. My mom reached over my shoulder to set my plate in front of me following it with the other plates. I looked to my left to see Isabella peeking out from the door to our bedroom with a broken toy in her hand, it was a Barbie that she had gotten for her birthday last year. It was missing one of her legs but that didn’t stop Isabella from loving it any less. Once she spotted me looking at her, she smiled and ran over to me, her arms reached out as she came near and wrapped them around my waist to hug me.

“Isa! Go sit down in your chair, breakfast is ready” my mom exclaimed as she finished up preparing everything before putting food on our plates on the table. A serving of scrambled eggs and a slice of toast with sliced bacon pieces on top plopped onto my plate which I didn’t even hesitate to dig into. As we ate my mom then switched on the radio, I could hear the faint lyrics of the song playing “And I would have stayed up with you all night, Had I known how to save a life” from a song that had just been released called “How to Save a Life” by The Fray. I paid little attention to it; all I could think about is the spread of food in front of me.

Later that morning my mom gathered me and my sister and our toys and took us to my auntie Eleanor’s house before she left us to go to work. Auntie Eleanor was a kind and gentle soul. Other than my mother she was the only family we had, my dad had died two years ago in war and my grandparents lived in a different country, so we rarely ever got to see them. The day continued on as normal and it was only the early afternoon when I noticed that somethings were unusual, like things were happening that weren't meant to happen. They were small things, like for example I saw massive flocks of birds flying in the air, but they seemed distressed, squawking loudly and flying all around. Then, Eleanor’s dog Coco was acting strange. He had seemed less playful and more worried, he would just lay in his bed and whined at us, like he was trying to tell us something.

It was 3:35pm when it started, the rumbling. I thought I was imagining things as it was just small. I looked around to see if my sister or auntie noticed anything, but they weren’t there. I got up from the chair to explore the house when the ground started to shake, it quickly grew violent. I was so scared, I didn’t know what to do so I just ran, leaving everything behind, the drawing I was working on, the toys scattered on the ground. I just kept running pushing myself to get out of here, struggling to keep my balance I managed to get to the town centre. All around me was commotion, I was surrounded by people gathering their families and running into buildings, I just stood there. I didn’t know what to do, I was just five years old.

I could barely keep standing when everything went dark. I couldn’t see anything, I could only hear the crumbling of buildings, I could feel the violent shaking coming from under me and the throbbing pain in my head and something digging into my side. It was hard to breathe, with every breath I took being filled with dust and debris. I laid on the ground, curled up praying that this will all end, that this was a dream. Warm tears streamed down my face I wanted everything to go back to normal, I wanted to see my family. All that was going through my mind were the intrusive thoughts of that I was going to die, that this was it.

I waited and waited until the shaking finally stopped. Was it over? Was this hell done? I opened my eyes to a glimpse of sunlight shining through two big slabs of rubble that surrounded me. I slowly reached my arms up and tried to push off the rocks that were covering me. The sunlight grew more intense and started blinding me. I didn’t know how long I was down there for. It took a while for my eyes to get adjusted to the brightness but once they did, I could feel my heart shatter in my chest. Everything was destroyed, everything was a pile of rocks and dirt other than a few buildings that were standing on their last leg.

Once I came to my senses, I realised I was still all alone. My mind raced and I did the only thing I could do. I screamed with all my might just hoping I could find them.

“ISABELLA, ELEANOR, MOM....” no response. I did it again, and again, and again until I couldn’t scream anymore, my voice cracked, and my throat was strained. I walked around trying to find them. I walked until I couldn’t walk anymore, I was so tired. I found myself a nice seat on the curb of a sidewalk and just sat there and cried. I wanted to see my family, I just hope they were okay. I saw family’s walking together, people looking for their loved ones, people all alone, I saw it all.

It was starting to turn dark when I finally got up again. I would not give up, I needed to find my family. I searched until I couldn’t search anymore. I had managed to do a full circle of my town until I finally decided to have a break. I sat on the remains of the once beautifully decorated water fountain with little intricate details, my towns pride and joy which was now destroyed. I sat there for a while until I finally drifted off to sleep on the hard, uncomfortable debris.

I woke up to seeing the same sight I fell asleep to. I had hoped this was all just a dream and that I would wake up from it, but I knew in the back of my mind that it wasn’t true, this was all real. At this point I could hear the faint whirring of a helicopter flying above the town, probably some news reporters. I turned a blind eye to it as I got up from my resting spot and started my search again. At this point I could think clearly again so I walked up to a few strangers and asked for help. I repeated this so many times but the answer still remained the same, no one had seen my family.

I had done another lap of the town before I finally saw a little girl standing with long silky brown hair and a woman with black wavy hair kneeling on the ground sobbing in her hands. I decided to walk over when I started to realise that they were crying over a lifeless body on the ground. The heaving continued to grow louder the closer I got. I didn’t know why but something was drawing me towards them. I had grown close to them when I finally recognised them, it was Isabella and Eleanor. I ran to them yelling their names. Their heads spun around shocked but relieved at the same time. I wrapped my arms around them and buried my head into Eleanor’s torso, it felt so good to see them again.

“Where’s mom?” I said in a tiny, muffled voice, my head lifted to see Eleanor’s face change. She loosened her grip on me and turned around to face the body buried in the rubble, I looked over to see my mom's lifeless body. Then and there I broke down and cried my heart out. I didn’t want to believe this was real.

The sounds of the helicopters grew closer when someone came up to my auntie, it was a rescuer. They talked briefly before I could feel my aunties hands grab and lift me up from my armpits and put me on her hip, she did the same thing for Isabella and she started walking away, following the rescuer. I didn’t want to leave, I didn’t want to leave my mom. I screamed and yelled and protested but nothing worked. I remember being strapped into a seat in a van at the very edge of town with a lot of different people and it started driving. The radio was playing, the song lyrics “And I would have stayed up with you all night, Had I known how to save a life” played. I just sat there, silently sobbing.

It’s been 13 years since that happened, the earthquake that destroyed my town. Life has gotten easier, but I still struggle with the loss of my mom everyday. It's just Isabella, Eleanor and I so we’ve grown very close since then, closer than ever before. The town has been rebuilt but we don’t live there anymore, I don’t think I can ever go back to that place ever again, maybe I will in the future but not now. I wish things could’ve ended differently but that’s not the way life works, and I’m okay with that.

I was five years old when it happened.