#meat head
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itsthevioletqueen · 7 months ago
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have yourself a meaty little Christmas (in June)
Modeled someone's meat characters for an art trade. Gore and Match belong to l0vebirdd/Amoroboros
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mayorwhisper · 1 year ago
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As many times as I've been to the beach, I've never tried a kickboard 🤔
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miikpal · 5 months ago
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for consumption
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gomzdrawfr · 2 months ago
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*heavy footsteps sfx*
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credit to this cosplayer for the pose....and there's a video of them doing the cosplay competition
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ochablooms · 2 months ago
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what satiates a god?
(uncensored under the cut)
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webdiggerxxx · 7 months ago
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꧁★꧂
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rochenn · 2 months ago
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So many bad bitches in German cuisine but we also keep doing this for some reason
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openphrase123 · 2 months ago
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siffrin said they did love to eat crabs so i'm like. envisioning something postcanon where all the vaugardians are like "in the spirit of cultural exchange because your culture was lost we'll eat one crab" and siffrin is SO excited and goes off to cook a big crab they caught off bambouche's shore beach-fire style
and the vaugardians are huddled around odile asking questions like "is this poison" "are you sure it doesn't taste bad" because they don't want to offend SIFFRIN by asking him that. and odile is like "crab is Fine there's nothing wrong with it, it's just a food" and i think bonnie would get into the cooking method a lot since it looks cool
and it all goes well, crab leg meat is fairly simple to show someone how to eat and it's a mild taste. and then siffrin's like "do you all mind if i take the body it's my favorite" and they're like "oh of course!!" and they just slurp out the head goo (tastes good, looks and sounds incredibly gross) and soup inside and everyone is just watching like 👁️👄👁️
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beebfreeb · 10 months ago
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The computer! It is my sona character.
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wadeassgrabberwilson · 2 months ago
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i wanted to project my anger on him
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alicentsaegon · 4 months ago
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The Marriage of Aegon III and Jaehaera Targaryen.
They are so Henry VII Elizabeth of York coded...
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mayorwhisper · 2 years ago
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Please don’t do anything weird in the museum 😂
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disguisedcheezed · 10 months ago
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goofy ahh corpse.
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starry-bi-sky · 8 months ago
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tales of the passerine - danny fenton being bruce wayne's first kid
okay okay. so this is like a continuation/elaboration of my oneshot/prompt i wrote about the idea that Danny was the first batkid. We have a lot of aus where he joins the family after the rest of the bats do, right? So hey! Lets shake things up a bit. Danny is the first to be adopted by Bruce Wayne.
Danny's parents and unfortunately Jazz die shortly after the events of TUE -- how so? I was gonna say an ecto-filter explosion, that would call back to the TUE explosion and trauma behind that. But lets do something new! Carbon-monoxide poisoning.
It's not too unexpected for something to break in the Fenton house, especially with the Fenton parents' questionable understanding of proper weapon handling and lab safety. The water heater broke from a stray shot by one of the weapons, and was promptly MacGyver'd incorrectly. Danny went to stay with Tucker for a guys' night, and came back to a dead silent house.
(Danny's neighbors got a very unfortunate shock when he ran to the next house over in hysterics.)
There was a lot of shuffling around with CPS, the police. People had to be called in to handle the equipment in the lab, and the GIW was rumoring to show up in aid to clearing the scene. When Danny heard of that, he immediately went and dismantled the ghost portal to the best of his abilities. He burned the physical blueprints of all his parents' inventions, their blueprints on the ghost portal, and their most dangerous weapons were destroyed beyond recognition. Anything to prevent the GIW from getting their hands on his parents' tech.
It opened up another investigation, but he was not under the list of suspects. He was placed in the care of Vlad Masters, where they then went back to the rebuilt castle mansion in Wisconsin. Danny, terrified of the future that has once passed and may do so again, shuts down in his grief. Inadvertently, he ends up somewhat repressing his ghost half. Something Vlad, who is grieving Madeline but relishing in Jack's demise and his custody of Daniel, is not very happy with.
Vlad's... gone into a bit of a mental health spiral. He's becoming increasingly possessive over Daniel, the final remnants of his friends and a liminal being like him. He doesn't like that Danny's repressing his ghost half -- both out of genuine concern as a ghost, but also because of his desire to control Danny and groom him into the perfect son. If you ever had a phase where you read Dark SBI found family fics, first off; me too bro, and second off; those are the vibes I'm thinking of.
Danny's mentally shut down from grief! And fear. He's dropped into a bad depressive state -- paralyzed with grief and the terror of the inevitable. Clockwork saved his parents because he believes in second chances, but what's the point of that when his family ended up dead anyways? Danny doesn't wanna believe that he's destined to become evil, and he's holding out onto that hope, but it's a thin line, and he feels utterly hopeless and trapped. He hasn't used his powers or ghost form since he trashed the lab, and Vlad has alarms set up to prevent him from trying to escape.
He's also unintentionally cut off Sam and Tucker -- both of whom are so scared and concerned for Danny too, and are trying their damndest to reach out to him. He keeps ignoring their texts. Danny basically haunts Vlad's manor. He goes out to eat if he has to, attends parties Vlad drags him to, and stays in his room all day if he can.
At parties, Vlad doesn't allow Danny to leave his side, or really talk to anyone -- not that Danny wants to. A product of Vlad's increasing possessiveness. Well, he almost doesn't let Danny leave his side. Danny has a habit of slipping off to hide somewhere for the parties whenever he can, and Vlad reluctantly allows it so long as he stays alone.
This becomes an advantage when eventually, Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham after missing for years, and holds a bright charity ball to celebrate the return. Vlad has been chomping at the bits to get his hands on Wayne Industries, and with the return of its owner there is no better opportunity to wipe out his rival. He goes, and he as normal, brings Daniel with him.
Vlad thinks Wayne will bleed his little heart out for Daniel's poor orphan sob story -- he's a fellow orphan himself, after all. He's not wrong; Wayne's little heart will bleed, just not in the way that benefits him.
Bruce sees Vlad and Danny approaching before they're even close enough to introduce themselves - and like with many of the children he will soon come to care for, it's like someone set a mirror into the past right in front of him.
Danny Fenton's suit is tailor-made for him, and despite the fact that it's his perfect size, the sag in his shoulders, the ducked down head, and the way he hunches into himself all pictures the image of a child in shoes too big for him. There's a far away, glazed over look in his eyes and grief marble-cut into the lines of his face. There's not enough makeup in the world that will hide the dark circles under his eyes.
("My nephew, Daniel Fenton." Vlad's hands are possessive on Danny's shoulders. Bruce immediately notices the way the boy tenses under his touch. "His parents passed recently, and as his godfather I was designated his guardian.") ("I'm so sorry, the loss must've been terrible.") ("Yes, carbon-monoxide poisoning caused it. Daniel was out with friends, when he came home... they had already passed.") (Bruce immediately dislikes that Vlad shared the details of their death unprompted -- he likes it even less when Danny flinches at the reminder and hunches into himself.)
Danny runs off at some point earlier into the charity. At this point, parties are still being held at Wayne Manor (because iirc google search mentioned that was a thing at first before it was changed), so he disappears and hides in one of the empty rooms nearby. It just so happens to be the same room Bruce Wayne hides in when he needs a break from all of the socialization.
Thus begins a long, long process of trust. Bruce can't reveal his hand as being smarter than he looks, but he can be compassionate. Kindness needs no measure of intelligence. He keeps Danny company for as long as he can before he runs the risk of being found.
Rinse and repeat. Vlad insistently wants Wayne Industries, and he'll go to as many Wayne parties as he can to get his hooks into the man. The problem is that Bruce Wayne is never alone, and getting him alone is impossible. Finding him too. It's like the man never stops moving. Always talking to someone, always circling somewhere. He orbits around the room as if he isn't the sun of the Gotham Elite's solar system.
Danny's had such repetitive behavior that Vlad never thinks to believe that Bruce Wayne is disappearing to go talk to him. That "Vlad's" son is even interacting with him at all. Danny never gives him a reason to think so, and neither does Bruce.
Danny doesn't actually acknowledge Bruce until a handful of parties in, where he hands Bruce a small slip of paper he smuggled in that says; "don't trust Vlad". Danny's face stays carefully blank, but he's so tense that his hands are trembling, and he's purposely looking away from him. Bruce plasters a smile onto his face, slips the paper into his pocket, and tells him "okay".
(he's been busy with his own goals with the mafia, but he sets aside time to investigate Vlad Masters. He was holding off. Until now.)
Danny does eventually start speaking to Bruce, he's starting to really like the guy. He's starting to see a little hope, even as Vlad is starting to get more and more agitated with him the more he refuses to use his powers.
He reaches out to Sam and Tucker again, and starts trying to reconnect with them. Vlad has spyware on his phone, and he limits the amount of times he can talk to them. A weird parental control lock of some sort that leaves a time limit on how long he can talk to them for. 30 minutes. Danny doesn't tell them anything about Mr. Wayne.
Danny, slowly, wants out of here, and he's slowly gathering the motivation to do it. Vlad is genuinely scaring him -- and Danny wonders just how truthful the past-future Vlad was when he told him that Danny wanted his ghost half separate. He starts trying to come up with an escape plan.
Vlad has anti-ghost wards everywhere around the mansion, and while they're always on, they boost to full power at sunset. The doors and windows are always locked, all main exits have alarms set on them. The only reason it's not super extensive is because Danny hasn't tried leaving at all yet, so Vlad hasn't had to tighten anything.
At night, Vlad locks the door to his room and puts up an anti-ghost ward around the room. The mansion is on the outside westward side of Madison, more entrenched in rural Wisconsin. The closest town is a four-way stop sign with one house on three corners, and an open bar on the fourth. Not much to go.
He refuses to go to Sam and Tucker; Vlad would look there first. It's too dangerous. Vlad would sound alarm bells and have a manhunt looking for him, Danny can't risk going just anywhere. Too much risk of being found, sold out, or caught. There's really nowhere for him to hide.
Until there is. Bruce is telling Danny about the history of Wayne Manor, and says, as casually as saying the weather; "The manor has dozens of empty rooms, I'm sure Alfred wouldn't mind filling another one if he could." And quietly, hesitantly, Bruce places a careful hand on Danny's shoulder, unrestrictive and gentle; "He wouldn't mind getting one ready for you if you need one."
And there it is. There's his out.
Danny, just as quietly, replies; "I'll keep that in mind."
The ball starts rolling.
Now I've been trying to summarize this au as much as possible for length convenience, but Vlad has been steadily growing more and more controlling. More emotionally manipulative. More agitated at Danny for not using his powers.
He wants Wayne Industries under his thumb but he's been steadily growing more and more concerned with Danny. He's started grabbing him, yanking him around, shaking him; trying to goad him into using his powers. He gets angry when Danny doesn't react, or tells him he doesn't want to use his powers. He hasn't outright attacked him, but he's getting there. This has been happening over the time it takes for Bruce to indirectly offer Danny sanctuary at his home.
It all comes to a head when Vlad stops going to parties at all -- something Danny has to pretend he isn't upset about -- because Vlad doesn't want him around other people anymore. Vlad rarely goes now without him, and only leaves to go to a Wayne function or to handle something at VladCo.
Danny can't wait for Vlad to leave long enough to escape. So he leaves during the night of a big storm. Vlad's locked him in his room, but Danny doesn't bother trying to go for it; he goes to the alarmed window instead. Danny's been repressing his ghost half so long that he can't access his powers immediately anymore -- he can feel it, he knows its there, but he can't quite reach it.
He breaks the lock by hand.
Immediately the alarm goes off through the entire castle, filling the room with red, and he scrambles for the rope the Wisconsin Ghost left for him a few months back. Danny's already out and climbing down the side of the castle before Vlad even reaches his door -- the only good thing about the entire room being ghost-proof is that Vlad can't get in that way.
The rope ends before it reaches the bottom, and he's still twenty feet in the air. It won't kill him if he lands it right. Danny takes his chances, and drops. He breaks his ankle, but he survives.
And he fucking books it to the back garden. He hears Vlad shrieking over the thunder and rain.
I'll save the full experience for a future oneshot, but Danny makes it out into the nearby woods and forcibly experiences what it's like to be in a horror game, trying to hide from the thing that's hunting you. There's only one thing going through his mind; "i'm going to die"
I have this mental image for this scene. Very stereotypical horror imo. Where Danny is hiding behind a tree, with a hand over his mouth, and Vlad is a few feet away from him, glowing ominously red through the trees, trying to search for him.
Danny doesn't get away from this unscathed, but he does get away alive. That's all he could ask for. He gets away by getting his ghost half awakened long enough to transform into Phantom and fly to Gotham.
But he gets to Wayne Manor, he gets to Bruce. Or, at least, Alfred answers the door from his insistent pounding. Danny's just in tears and Alfred gets him in the living room, wrapped in a towel, with ice on his swollen leg before he has to step out and alert Bruce.
Bruce already breaks multiple traffic laws on a nightly basis. And that's just with the sheer existence of the batmobile itself, not including the speeding and military artillery attached. He breaks double the amount trying to speed back to the cave and get out of the suit.
Right off the bat: Bruce will know, at least before Dick enters the picture, about danny's powers. He'll figure out something considering the fact that Danny traveled from Wisconsin to New York in a single night. That'll be a bit of complicated affair, but I've already got something in mind.
Actually it'll probably be very soon after Danny joins the family, because Bruce tries to offer to fight for custody for Danny - the state Danny was in at arrival is clear enough evidence for a trial. But Danny immediately shuts it down, says it's not going to work and then Vlad will know Danny's with him and he won't be safe. He tells him that Vlad cannot know Danny was with Bruce.
Danny's biggest regret was not telling his parents he was a halfa, and while he doesn't want to tell mister wayne (yet), he does tell him about Vlad being one. He needs to know why Danny can't be seen with Bruce. So he tells him, and Danny's current plan is to just hide out from Vlad until he turns 18. That way, he has no more legal jurisdiction over him. After that? He's not sure.
And to wrap this up, since this has already gotten very long and I can make more posts about this au later; I've thought about it, and I'm going to say that Danny does become a vigilante before Dick enters the scene. He goes by, as you probably guessed; Nightingale. "Gale" for short.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#tales of the passerine au#i dont want to overemphasize how much vlad sucks but also i dont want to downplay it. but also i didn't wanna make this post too long#i didn't emphasize enough on vlad's possessiveness but i wanted to make this post as general enough as possible for the au.#for some more wiggle room in the future if i make more posts about this au.#the consequences for Danny repressing himself was not a concern i was focused on for the post but i am thinking about it and mulling it ove#i'll be blunt my main specific reason for why this occurs shortly after tue is bc it means dani doesn't exist yet and it means i dont have#to include her in the continuation of this au. i love that girl but she's a dead weight. i dont wanna come up with an elaborate reason as#to why she's not in the picture when i can just say 'she never created in the first place' instead. i don't have anything for her to do#I don't want to risk giving her a poor plot line just so that she exists in au.#sometimes i really hate just how long my posts get. i feel like it kills my engagement. but i also don't want to make posts that have#a part 1 and part 2 just because I think it got too long.#i feel kinda bad for having Danny take the spot of 'first partner' from Dick. But that was part of the reason i was inspired to make this a#i've already got the skeleton of a reasoning for danny becoming a vigilante being made in my head.#He can't go by Phantom since that risks drawing Vlad's attention -- a new vigilante showing up in Gotham. a place the visited frequently#who goes by the name Phantom? He'd be on that faster than chickens on meat. and nightingale has familial meaning behind it due to being#part of an ancestral name. it follows robin's theme of using it to honor his parents while still having its own unique enough lore to stand#on its own without feeling like a cheap copy. plus the bonus meta reason that it follows the bird theme. which personally is vital to me#my other alternative to Nightingale is Sparrow. mostly because it has good phonetic structure for a hero name. not too many syllables#a good balance of consonants and vowels. dont want a hero name with too many syllables or unbalanced consonants. or worse; both.#my reasonings is that hero names should be easy for a civ or teammate to yell while still being understood. max amount of syllables before#it threatens to become too wordy is 3. If it goes over 3 it should have a balanced consonant-vowel ratio. Wonder Woman is a good example#some things got cut here that were in the initial oneshot. like danny giving bruce his physical ghost core and showing up bloody.#the first son au
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den-ai-d · 2 months ago
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The October reward, Pyramid Head! Better late than never eh? 😅
Looks like he's deep into that guy eh? Poor lad.
Three alts available on my patreon; small spicy preview of that under the cut😉
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o3o-lapd-o3o · 24 days ago
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DINNER IS (finally) SERVED
3000ish words later and part 8 is here! hope you guys enjoy!
(p.s my headcanons explainations are in the tags if you're curious)
(p.p.s credit also goes to @rin-solo for the first headcanon )
the post/thread that started this whole au
dinner scene: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7
there's a masterlist now!
*odysseus is making his way to the dining hall, while athena and poseidon are following behind*
poseidon: *looking around at the decorations/tapestry dotted around*
poseidon: *see’s a tapestry of what looks to be a very much younger odysseus in full king & armour attire*
poseidon: *stops walking, and turns to look at the actual odysseus in front of him, then back at the tapestry*
poseidon: *to odysseus with a sardonic tone* do your weavers like making you look like a boy, or was that a decision you made to make yourself look younger?
odysseus: *pauses his walking to see what poseidon is talking about*
athena: *also pauses and turns to poseidon*
odysseus: *sees the tapestry in question*
odysseus: *sighs* of course you point that one out 
athena: *who knew odysseus before he was king*
athena: *glaring at poseidon* uncle, you shouldn’t make assumptions, especially when you don’t know the facts
odysseus: *pats athena on the shoulder as he passes her*
odysseus: it’s fine athena
odysseus: *next to poseidon and looking up at the tapestry* if you must know, that is actually the age i was. 
poseidon: *not believing him* yeah right, you couldn’t be older than fifteen in this
odysseus: *turns to him with a sharp look* you’re correct, i was fifteen
poseidon: *slightly wary of odysseus’ mood* so… you became king at fifteen? isn’t that a little bit young for a mortal to rule a kingdom?
odysseus: *turns back to the tapestry* i was already the king, i was actually crowned when i was thirteen
poseidon: *shocked and confused* why would a child be given a kingdom to run?
odysseus: *looks down with a sad smile, at the memory of his father telling him about him losing his mind, and how sorry he was to place such a huge responsibility on his young son’s shoulders*
odysseus: well, i had no choice, but i would do it again if i had to… 
odysseus: *turns to athena* besides, i had athena to help guide me
athena: *smiles with a nod at odysseus*
odysseus: *starts walking in the direction of the dining hall again* anyway…enough of that, can we please just make our way to the dining hall now
*they all continue making their way down the hall*
poseidon: *notices a stain on the floor tiles not far in front of them*
poseidon: *points* i think your servants missed a spot
athena & odysseus: *both look to where he’s pointing*
athena: *chuckles to herself in knowing*
odysseus: *smirks* 
poseidon: *sees both their expressions, and is confused* 
odysseus: oh that..oh don’t worry it’s clean
odysseus: *shrugs* it’s just so hard to get bloodstains out of white titles
poseidon: *wide eyed* blood?
odysseus: yeah.. not long after i finished with you, i arrived back on my island to find my palace overrun with 108…mutts… all vying for my wife’s hand. 
odysseus: *waving his hand like it was a simple issue* so i made sure to deal with them all myself… unfortunately one of them left a stain.
odysseus: -oh look we’ve made it
odysseus: hope we haven’t kept them too long
poseidon: *shocked at all the new odysseus lore he’s unlocked*
athena: *laughing at poseidon’s expression*
odysseus: *opening the door* come on let’s head in
poseidon: *shakes away the shock*
odysseus: *to poseidon* i guess it’s time to introduce you to my wife
*they all walk through the doorway into the dining hall*
*there penelope and telemachus both stand not too far from the dining table; which has quite the feast laid out, and from the steam coming off of it, it had not long be put there*
odysseus: *heads over to his son & wife*
odysseus: *looks at poseidon* poseidon, you’ve met my son telemachus before.
telemachus: *can barely keep in his excitement* 
telemachus: hi- i mean good evening lord poseidon, i’m so happ- grateful you accepted my father's invitation for dinner. 
telemachus: *puts his arm on his chest, and leans forward in a  bow of respect* i hope you enjoy the evening.
odysseus: *narrows his eyes at poseidon, silently threatening him to not be rude to his son*
telemachus: *looks back up at poseidon, smile on his face*
poseidon: *quickly nods his head in greeting to telemachus* good evening prince, your father tells me that this was all your idea 
telemachus: *raises a hand to nervously scratch under his chin* um… yes i guess it was
poseidon: well then, thank you for the idea to invite me.
telemachus: *hand leaves his chin and a big smile breaks out* well of course! you are my father’s friend after all!
poseidon: *eye twitches before he quickly composes himself* 
poseidon: yes… friend.
odysseus: *coughs* yes and now that you’ve both reacquainted yourselves again… telemachus why don’t you go speak with athena for a moment
telemachus: sure!
*telemachus makes his way to athena, and they start talking amongst themselves*
odysseus: *puts his arm around penelope’s waist* now, please let me introduce you to my wife; the queen of ithaca, penelope. 
penelope: *doesn’t bow like telemachus, but nods in greeting* welcome to our palace lord poseidon
poseidon: *nods back* thank you for having me queen penelope
penelope: *smiles but her eyes have a certain glint to them* 
penelope: my husband has told me all about your part in his journey home to us
poseidon: *totally not panicking a little* uh-
penelope: *glint leaves her eyes, but her smile remains*
penelope: -and also how you have helped out on his and my son’s fishing trips lately.
penelope: of course, i would also like thank you for taking the time to attend tonight
poseidon: sure… no problem?
odysseus: great, everyone has met everyone! 
odysseus: *to everyone* now, shall we sit down and eat the lovely feast the cooks have made us, before it gets cold?
odysseus: *moves to pull out one of the chairs at the head of the table for penelope as he normally does, when he notices that, there is only one chair instead of two*
odysseus: *looks up at the table and sees a piece of parchment with ‘mother’ written on it* 
odysseus: huh?
telemachus: *makes his way over to his father* oh! there’s a different than usual seating plan for tonight! i’ve put everyone's names where they should sit.
odysseus: *smiles at telemachus* oh ok, sure!
odysseus: well, i guess i should look for mine then, hey?
telemachus: yes, and please everyone else too!
*everyone makes their way to the table to see where they’re sitting (even though three of them already know)*
odysseus: *sees the parchment with ‘father’ on it* 
odysseus: *expecting to have either athena or telemachus next to him*
odysseus: *watches as athena stands in front of the seat opposite him*
odysseus: *thinks it’s weird to put athena & poseidon together, but thinks telemachus has done is as they are uncle & niece*
odysseus: *then sees telemachus stood in front of the seat next to athena*
odysseus: wait-
poseidon: *sees his name and heads towards it, only to look up and see odysseus standing in front of the seat next to him*
poseidon: wait-
poseidon & odysseus: *both look at each other in horror that they're stuck next to each other all evening*
telemachus: *not noticing the looks of doom on their faces* isn’t this great? it’s a family dinner, so what better than friends sitting together? 
telemachus: *turning to penelope* sorry you’re by yourself at the head of the table though mother
penelope: *smiles and waves her hand* i don’t mind
penelope: anyway, let's sit and eat!
*everyone but odysseus and poseidon sit down. both who have a death grip on the back of their seats*
penelope: *clears her throat* odysseus, lord poseidon… would you both please sit down.
odysseus: *snaps out of his staring at poseidon* 
odysseus: uh sure…
odysseus: *sits down and look back to poseidon, nodding his head at poseidon’s seat in the motion for him to also sit down*
poseidon: *still doesn’t sit*
odysseus: *a millisecond of a flash of red eyes* 
poseidon: *sits*
odysseus: *internally to himself* oh this is gonna be a long evening
odysseus: *to everyone* ok, everyone dig in!
odysseus: *to poseidon* can you get what you want for yourself, mighty sea god? or do you need a mortal’s help?
poseidon: *grabbing a lamb chop off a platter and tearing into it savagely in defiance*
odysseus: *rolls his eyes at poseidon, but goes to place a filet of fish on his plate*
*everyone has been eating and talking*
poseidon: *looks at penelope (who is talking to telemachus & athena) and then looks at odysseus*
poseidon: *thinking and then looks back to penelope*
odysseus: *to poseidon* is there a reason you keep looking at my wife?
poseidon: *jumps at little at being caught looking* 
poseidon: *turns to odysseus* oh do not worry yourself, i have no interest in your wife
odysseus: *unimpressed* why do you keep looking at her then?
poseidon: im..curious 
odysseus: *narrowing his eyes* about?
poseidon: normally you mortal men choose women younger than them for their wives… yet clearly your wife is; from my estimates… about a decade older than you
poseidon: *now with his hand under his chin, leaning on the table* 
poseidon: do you perhaps…prefer older women odysseus?
odysseus: *hands tighten in grip around his cutlery*
poseidon: *notices odysseus hasn’t responded yet*
poseidon: i’m right aren’t -
odysseus: no.
odysseus: *his eyes may not be red, but are clearly full of anger*
poseidon: *eyes widen in worry* whoa whoa! no need to get angry, it’s just a simple observation…. anyone if they pay attention can see the age difference
poseidon: *moves his hand to flick his hair back over his shoulder* it’s not a bad thing
odysseus: *takes a breath in to calm down and then slowly releases it*
odysseus: we are- were the same age… physically at least
poseidon: *confused* i don’t follow
odysseus: *looks at poseidon* during the 10 years it took for me to get home… i found myself stuck on a goddess’ island for 7 of them…
poseidon: ok…
odysseus: *closes his eyes* caly- the goddess had full control over everything on the island… her magic influenced everything… including a mortal's ability to age.
poseidon: so you didn’t-
odysseus: -age? yeah
odysseus: *sighs and opens his eyes* when i realised i wasn’t… i- i- 
odysseus: lets just say i didn’t handle it well
poseidon: *blinks at this new information* oh
odysseus: yep ‘oh’ indeed… 
odysseus: *looks back at poseidon*
odysseus: didn’t you think it was odd that i looked exactly the same when we met again, almost 10 years after our first meeting?
poseidon: in my defence… i was angry and trying to kill you, i wasn’t really paying attention to how you looked
odysseus: *rolls his eyes* i guess that's true
telemachus: uh lord poseidon? may i ask you a question?
poseidon: *happy to not continue his conversation with odysseus*
poseidon: *to telemachus* ask away prince of ithaca
telemachus: is it true that you gave achilles his horses balius & xanthus?
poseidon: *amazed at telemachus’ knowledge* 
poseidon: not directly… but yes i am the reason he came to acquire them. you see i gave them to his father peleus, as a wedding gift for his wife thetis…
*poseidon continues to tell the tale, and odysseus speaks with athena and penelope while more time passes*
*the meal is continuing smoothly as can be*
poseidon: *notices that odysseus has only been eating the fish. not touching a single bit of pork, beef or lamb that's also on the table* 
poseidon: *who has continuously eaten all meats available*
poseidon: *to odysseus* is there something i should know about the meat?
odysseus: huh?
poseidon: *points at the selection of meat in question* what's wrong with the meat? you’ve only touched the fish.
poseidon: if i hadn’t seen the others eat it, i’d worry you’d asked your cooks to poison it or something. 
odysseus: *raised eyebrow* poison won’t hurt you though? 
odysseus: *pointing a fork at him* also, why do you care about my eating habits?
poseidon: *frowning at the fork* i don’t, i’m just-
odysseus: curious? poseidon, i thought you were the god of the sea, not curiosity…
poseidon: *huffs* forget it-
odysseus: i can’t
poseidon: *now his eyebrow is raised* you…can’t?
odysseus: *now using the fork to push the food on his plate around* i can’t stomach eating lamb, pork or beef anymore
poseidon: *forever confused by odysseus* uh why?
odysseus: *gives poseidon a ‘do i really have to explain everything?’ look*
poseidon: *just stares*
odysseus: *once again sighing because of poseidon* well i thought you’d understand lamb… after the whole sheep incident with… your son.
odysseus: then after i escaped you with the wind bag-
poseidon: *rolls his eyes at the memory*
odysseus: we wound up on the sorceress circe’s island… where she turned my men to pigs. 
odysseus: i managed to convince her to turn them back, but it now feels weird to eat pork
odysseus: as for beef, short story is my men ignored my warnings and killed the sacred cattle of the sun god… so yeah beef is a no go for me also. 
poseidon: *wondering how one mortal managed to interact with so many gods on a journey to get home*
poseidon: *laughs at odysseus* and you’re letting that affect your eating habits? i expected you to be stronger than that odysseus
odysseus: *narrows his eyes at poseidon* oh just like how you let my handling of your trident, affect you into doing as i say?
poseidon: *now glaring back* 
poseidon: *turns away from odysseus* whatever, more meat for me
*dinner continues, with telemachus asking poseidon more questions. poseidon loving the interest in him and telelmachus’ knowledge, answers the all the questions with surprising enthusiasm*
*eventually what was once a giant feast of food has nearly been cleared from the table, thanks to having two gods eating most of it*
telemachus: have you enjoyed yourself so far lord poseidon? 
telemachus: *smiling* it’s been really fascinating and fun to learn so much more about you
poseidon: *almost letting a small smile appear on his face in return*
poseidon: *instead just nods* yes, it certainly has been an interesting & knowledgeable evening
telemachus: what about the seating, was it a good idea to put you with my father?
poseidon: *wants to answer no, but feels a kick from under the table. clearly from odysseus*
poseidon: yes, you came up with an ok-
odysseus: *gives another kick* 
poseidon: -great idea
telemachus: *laughs in happiness* 
telemachus: oh but i can’t take all the credit
odysseus: *raises an eyebrow in curiosity* 
athena: *who is sipping wine next to him*
athena: *slightly chokes* wai-
odysseus: *suspicious* son, you must make sure to tell us who else to thank for this
telemachus: *not understanding the bombshell he’s about to drop* oh athena actually came up with the idea!
athena: *suddenly nervous with the two very intense stares directed at her*
athena: w-well it was just a suggestion really…
telemachus: no ‘thena! remember you said as it’s a family dinner, friends should sit with friends!
odysseus: *to athena with the fakest smile* oh athena, how considerate!
penelope: *who has been quiet this whole exchange*
telemachus: *as if he hasn’t already unknowingly thrown one person to the wolves* but i of course had to run it by mother first, as she was helping me with all the planning!
penelope: *eyes have totally not widened*
telemachus: she said it was a great idea!
odysseus: *now to penelope* oh my dear wife, a great idea eh?
poseidon: *just chugs back his cup of wine at the revelations*
*after a awkward moment (at least for 4 of them) they continue on finishing the meal*
*eventually the food is finished and the dinner has come to an end, everyone has moved away from the dinner table and are now sitting on cushion chairs or standing around them talking amongst themselves*
poseidon: *looking out the window seeing just how dark the night sky now is* 
poseidon: well this has been a lovely evening, but it is getting late and i have been away from the sea for as long as i can.
poseidon: *turning to penelope and nodding his head in actual respect* queen penelope, thank you for your hosting
poseidon: *without nodding at them* athena, odysseus… good night.
*before poseidon can turn to bid telemachus good night, the prince runs out the room*
telemachus: *yelling before he leaves the room* please lord poseidon, wait a moment! i forgot something!
poseidon: *turns to look at odysseus in confusion* 
odysseus: *just shrugs also confused* 
poseidon: *turns back to the door, telemachus long gone* uh sure.
*not long later telemachus runs back into the room dishevelled but holding something in his hand*
telemachus: *walks up to poseidon* 
telemachus: *bows and holds out something covered in a silk cloth to him*
poseidon: uh-
telemachus: it’s a gift! i’m not expecting anything in return, and i’m sure you have better things… but i saw it and thought you’d like it
poseidon: *blinks, but takes the gift from telemachus’ hands*
poseidon: *carefully unties the silk cloth*
poseidon: *breathes in sharply*
telemachus: *not sure if that's a good or bad reaction* uh if you don’t like it that's fin-
poseidon: *holds his hand to stop telemachus* 
poseidon: prince of ithac-
telemachus: telemachus- sorry for interrupting. please my lord, call me telemachus
poseidon: …telemachus. thank you, this is a very thoughtful gift. 
poseidon: i will cherish it.
penelope & odysseus: *curious over what's got the god of the seas ‘cherishing’ something*
athena: *small smile as she knows*
*penelope & odysseus move closer to poseidon who is still staring down at his gift. once close enough they can see in his hand is a a handcrafted glass/crystal hippocampus*
*poseidon ended up wrapping it back in the silk cloth, and placing it in his chiton. He then thanked telemachus again and bid him good night & farewell. odysseus offered to walk back to the cove with him, but poseidon waved him off and told him to stay with his family*
#poseidon: *returned home back to his palace*#poseidon: *once again looking at the gift this time with a small smile on his face*#amphitrite: *looking at poseidon* whatcha got there?#poseidon: *stuffs telemachus’ gift into his chiton* uh… uh…MOLY?!#amphitrite: *raised eyebrow* the king of ithaca… odysseus gave you…moly?#poseidon: this isn't from odysse- *cough* i mean; no… he didn't#poseidon: it's from his son.#amphitrite: *now both eyebrows raised in disbelief* the prince gave you moly?#poseidon: *panicking as he's the god of the seas not of lies*#poseidon: well they're descended from hermes… he practically hands out this stuff as you know…#amphitrite: uh huh... what ever you say husband#okay headcanon 1 - calypso said 'under my spell we're stuck in paradise' & to me this made me think well if she controls everything#then surely a goddess' magic can have other consequences like stopping a mortal aging. or extremely slowly aging.#once poor odysseus realises he wasn't getting older but his son and wife would be...he broke fearing he'd outlive them#calypso obvs doesn't also want the love of her life getting old/dying on her too#also credit to @rin-solo for this head canon too!#headcanon 2 - it actually happened while i was eating a burger. i thought man i'd struggle to eat any meat after all what ody went through#and so thats how that came to be! i believe he will eat goat/rabbit/chicken etc. but fish is easier with y'know ithaca being a island#so telemachus' gift has been revealed! i thought a hippocampus would be better that just a sea creature or horse. why not both?#also there will be a part 9...ody's revenge/punishment for athena and penelope's seating plan#but i need a small break after this monstrosity#odysseus epic#poseidon epic#telemachus epic#penelope epic the musical#epic the musical#epic: the musical#friends in higher places au?#nonsense thoughts
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