#meanwhile this season is some serious shit

[confoodles]

TUA SEASON 4 SPOILERS ❗❗❗

Lila's and Diego's pipeline from flirty, might possibly kill each other, bi4bi, malewife and girlboss couple to way too realistic married couple, who resents each other and is clearly struggling and teethering on the edge of a divorce is sth that is so devastating to ME specifically

[mangoshorthand]

A rough outline to rewrite S4

We didn't need a big apocalypse. We needed the umbrellas to symbolically overcome their childhood abuse.

We begin...

A few months post-reset. Nobody remembers the Umbrella and Sparrow Academies. This Universe kinda sucks too: Reggie's monopoly on everything has created some serious wealth inequality and social issues. The family are all kinda screwin' around, finding their feet to varying degrees of success.

Luther's tirelessly looking for Sloane

Diego and Lila are preparing for parenthood, both freaking out but excited over it. Diego is very protective. Cute, but suffocating.

Allison's got everything she ever wanted, but it still feels hollow and (surprise) she still has her powers and is still abusing them to get what she wants. Her and Ray are on the rocks because he's now a social-justice advocate, and Allison doesn't want to rock the boat with Reginald.

Klaus is loving life. Addiction's easier to battle with no ghosties to blot out. Being mortal sucks but he only found out about it a few days ago anyway so it doesn't change much.

Five is stuck in juvie getting mandated therapy, gets diagnosed with PTSD and, against his will, starts to work on feelings of anger towards his siblings for their lack of appreciation. (Hmm sounds familiar...I actually have a fic....)

Viktor, loyal to Luther, is trying to help him find Sloane and is sort of taking the lead role on it because Luther's struggling.

Ben starts off being a selfish asshole, but it all feels empty and lonely, so he semi-reluctantly joins Luther and Viktor trying to find Sloane, his only sister.

Essentially, everyone's setting themselves up to have satisfying character arcs that resolve the shit brought up in previous seasons.

MEANWHILE

We discover that, because Reggie was interrupted resetting the universe, it's all kinda fragile.

At different rates, the Umbrellas slowly start to gain back their powers. It turns out they lost them temporarily after Reginald used their marigold to power the reset machine, but it's effectively bound to their DNA, so it regenerates within them just like any other cell would, (explaining why Viktor removing it from Harlan didn't work in S2). And then we discover that Reggie's autocracy and constructed happiness with Abigail is contingent on continually maintaining a 'hole' in the universe left after the incomplete reset. He needs a Marigold battery on hand to try and plug the gap. And we discover Sloane, memories wiped and constantly hooked up to a machine that sucks out her Marigold as quick as she can regenerate it, (and Reginald has his eye on them all as potential backups).

So...

The band gets back together! Time to rescue Sloane and defeat their Dad!

Ben is PUMPED, starting to realise that maybe the Umbrellas are family too.

Luther goes hulk for love.

Diego is terrified Lila will get hurt and wants to effectively lock her up in a closet again like in S3, but he learns he can't do that, and Lila kicks ass while super pregnant.

Five initially refuses because he's salty they left him in juvie and is sick of them undervaluing him but eventually gets his shit together and rides in at a crucial point to save the day. He finally gets a fucking hug.

Allison feels guilt, and anger at Reginald. The way he's exploiting people is nakedly obvious now, and she finally joins Ray in the fight

Viktor's leading the charge. He's unashamedly the leader and the rest are looking to him for guidance.

Klaus is suffering again. The ghosts and immortality is back, and meanwhile the little girl in the void is being super cryptic and annoying, making veiled foreshadowing comments every time he ends up in the void, but she does reveal that she is why he is immortal begin with. It was never his power, it was her sending him back every time.

And...

We have a showdown with ass-kicking and Reginald screaming that they're dumb kids who don't know what they're messing with, but screw him! And when they're confronted with Reginald's hole (heh heh), everything the little girl in the void said becomes clear to Klaus. He has to touch Reginald's hole (never gets old) with his powers activated to act as a conduit for the girl, the creator of the universe. This will allow her to fix the universe back to her original design without all Reginald's tampering. Klaus is the connection between the world and the void and, powered by his Marigold, she can use his memories to put it all right. It's a Deus ex machina.

The only problem is, he will die in the attempt. This is the 'use' she told him she had for him in one of the previous seasons, (or maybe that was the comics?). Klaus realises that this might actually be his one opportunity to die. The alternative is to live forever, never fully reuniting with Dave and watching his family die off one by one. So he does it. He fingers Reginald's hole, (harshly, with no prep). Klaus makes a heroic, Christ-like sacrifice and boom, the reset completes. We are effectively in the first timeline, in the Academy courtyard with no apocalypse on the horizon. Reggie is dead, all most of the symptoms of his autocracy are gone. All is well, except our heroes are just sad. Klaus fixed it, but now they've lost their glue.

But...

Klaus awakes in the void, happy and at peace. Dave is there, and the reunite, but it's clear he's sad about what happened. The little girl is there too, and she offers Klaus one last go at mortal life, because she finds him kind of annoying to have around anyway.

Klaus agrees, saying goodbye to Dave until they meet again, and then he falls out of the sky and lands with a smack in the courtyard. He explains, and many Jesus jokes are made.

After the revelry is over, there's a moment where the siblings go: "Huh, what now?" as they realise they still have a lot of their old problems and a lot of inner work to do.

And then Lila goes into labour. We finish on a birth montage. Everyone holds the baby, tears are shed and they end the series together. Not perfectly happy and still dysfunctional, but at least they have the chance to get better now.

[chefkids]

Have you considered making a list of all the predictions/possibilities and then checking off which are right?

Some of these are serious and some of these are not so serious

Tina goes full Mom on Sydney

We see flashback of Tina being a mom and starting off at The Beef

Mikey trying to set shit on fire

Richie flashback to Tiff leaving him because he's spending so much time trying to take care of Mikey

Richie accepts that it's over with Tiff

The staff hates Carmy, loves Syd

Richie plans on quitting but is convinced not to

Sydney gets sick/burnout and is forced to take time off

Carmy is put on time out for being insane

Nat, Tina and Richie threaten Carmy about how he's acting and how Sydney will leave him

Carmy meets Emmanuel

Syd meets Donna

Carmy helps Syd move to her apartment

Sydney throws up on Carmy

Sydney avoids signing the partnership agreement

Syd gets him to write up a new partnership agreement in her terms at the end of the season

Sydney calls out the I'm sorry sign for being useless

Carmy draws something specifically for Sydney, not just using the menu planning as an excuse

Carmy makes an overtly romantic move on Sydney

Nat, Tina, and Richie makes comments about the nature of Syd and Carmy’s relationship

Nat asks Carmy why he’s actually doing all of this when he had said “Fuck stars” and why he’s doing all of this for Syd and he finally opens up about his feelings to her

Carmy cooks for Sydney

Syd and Carmy table scene part 2 things go bad and she turns Carmy down

Big sydcarmy fight happens about her leaving and he basically says "I can't do this without you" and she says "Well I can, I did do it without you"

Sydney is offered a job somewhere else, tells Carmy she’s going to take it, but doesn’t in the end

Carmy tries to shut down The Bear cause he doesn't want to do it without Syd

Sydney has a feelings realization moment like Carmy did with the panic attack

Carmy tells Syd "I love you" while apologizing

Sydcarmy kiss goddammit!!! It's time!!!

They receive bad reviews that send Syd and Carmy in a spiral

Marcus receives some sort of high praise or award

Carmy gets credited for Syd's dish, rivalry/jealousy conflicts for how he's getting recognition and she's not

Power outage at the restaurant again

Carmy/Syd starts a fire at The Bear, probably Carmy sleep cooking

Carmy hallucinations/sleepwalking nightmares while cooking

Carmy ingests hallucinogenic mushrooms, accidentally

Sydney stabs Carmy

Someone yells at Sydney and then something awful happens to them #sydkarma

Carmy has a dream about Syd

Carmy's old Chef actually comes to The Bear

The Bear Cookbook offer

Natalie is mad at Donna because she thinks she didn't show up to F&F night

Ebra's sandwich window is popping off

OG neighborhood locals hate on the restaurant and try to sabotage it

Marcus makes a new donut

Marcus handles grief pretty well actually, meanwhile Syd and Carmy respiral with their own mommy issues/death grief

Carmy becomes paranoid about every guy after he finds out Marcus ask Sydney out

Luca offers Marcus a job

Carmy avoids going into the walk in for a while

Richie/Fak try to secretly set Carmy and Claire up in a “chance encounter” so he’ll see her again

Claire tries to get back with Carmy because Fak tells her that he loves her

Carmy turns down Claire and tells her he was not in love with her

The extended Faks try to beat up Carmy

Claire connects the dots between Syd and Carmy

Fak realizes Carmy likes Syd and is completely shook

Pete tells them they have a very very small chance of meeting Jimmy's payment deadline

Donna apologizes to Nat and Carmy

Donna gives them the money to save The Bear. Sells her house?

Chris Storer is forced to respond to his crimes

[sans-undertales-pussy]

Now I'm going to say sm extremely cringe about smiling friend and y'all have to promise not to beat me with baseball bats but I honestly have the teeny weeny itty bitty headcanon/theory/fcked brainrot thought about Charlie being a closeted gay man in deep denial

EXHIBIT A:

The whole random gay/homoerotic acts running gag with this dude

Meanwhile as of seasons 1~2 this dude has YET to show attraction to another female character despite openly doing it with dudes. The only two examples of it being with the Mustard coming onto him (which he bluntly rejects) and his girlfriend (she is irrelevant and he has never shown any form of affection towards her)

Regarding his girlfriend (apparently her name is Zoey at least according to some of the credits this is never mentioned in show) specifically- She just exists to be Charlie's girlfriend. She isnt even acknowledged by any of the cast. Theres a tickle in me bones that tells me this gal is just his beard

EXHIBIT B:

Charlie having a shit ton of internalized homophobia he's covering his ass for just legit makes a lot of sense for his character

Being both christian (this is a lot more present in S2) and his obvious insecurities with his masculinity.

Shit like him unironically using terms like "alpha male" and having to verbally compensate for not being what he thinks an "alpha male" is

^ Making excuses for why he didnt fight a dude 5x his size and strength, or him laughing at people getting scared but when he gets scared he gets defensive and pissed off

With that said I'm not trying theorize this as if it's a serious dramatic thing. Smiling Friends is the most unserious show ever. More like the subtext gives a bit more depth to Charlie's character. And it makes his actions an extra layer of comedically pathetic. Like dude acts like he knows the chicks meanwhile he kisses his male coworkers casually and has never kissed his supposed girlfriend he probably forgets exist sometimes

[piracytheorist]

FINALLY

Thoughts on episode 2x01!

I'm so making a crack recap out of this. Idk if it's going to be this week, but I may have to skip all the other episodes up to this point XD

Ok for those of you who don't know, the bullet-in-butt date (which I can finally mention openly as it's not manga spoiler anymore!) was the only manga chapter that hadn't been adapted that I read from very early on, way before I decided to stay anime-only so I knew everything about it. So I expected the beginning. I actually like that we don't see Yor do her slaughter at that place. She's like a ghost, or a legend, as the short-lived survivor calls her.

Look at her! So cute, covered in the blood of her victims 😌

I do have to say, I was surprised by the amount of blood they showed. I think they actually put the violence up a notch in comparison to the previous season, bringing it much closer to the manga levels of violence.

It's also a bold choice to like, actually open the season with this. It's serious business and I appreciate that. I'm not too big on violence but I also don't like it when it's "purified" or whatever. We're watching a show where two of the main characters kill people left and right. Blood is a prerequisite at this point.

Anyway! GRANDE upgrade on the animation, oh my god! It's all in the little movements and additional "swerves" of the characters' forms. I don't have the time to make a gif now showing that but it's obvious they took the money they made the previous year and put a lot of it on animation budget! Love it!

Aaaaaaaand new music! Most of the new stuff is quirky and funny, perfect for Anya and Franky's shenanigans :D Looking forward to see what new pieces we'll get with this season!

I had some frail hope they would have titled the episode "Date with a Bullet in the Butt". Can you imagine. We were robbed. Robbed!

Ever since I read that chapter I went like, Yor says she treated the wound... does that mean she got the bullet out? Or is she actually walking with the bullet in her buttcheek all this time? I mean... it is called the "bullet-in-butt date" after all...

The way all of this could have been solved by Yor going like "I tripped down the stairs and fell on my butt and now it hurts to walk and sit". But then we wouldn't have this! It's the funny miscommunication that makes them, really <3

The way Anya worries about her! I felt a little sad for her because this is the first time she sees her mama so beaten down by a job, I think?

One of the ways you see the upgraded animation: the way Yor trembles as she straightens up after reassuring Anya, and then the dizzy walk to her room as she goes to rest. Awesome.

Yor just walks it off and Anya is like "Mama is actually immortal, wow" meanwhile Loid is losing his absolute shit

"WIFE IS SAD. THE WORLD IS ENDING. I SHOULDN'T HAVE ASKED HER TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING. I AM A HORRIBLE HUSBAND."

Oh, I adore the different colouring on the memory scene. I also love how the gossip trio just falls on Yor the moment she slips out that oh no they don't do all the conventional couple things!!

Dude is genuinely confused. BestTM SpyTM of WestalisTM, flabbergasted by a woman with social skills in the negatives.

It was eight in the morning. On a weekend. Yor was way too excited for the date she ran to get ready and they were out all day. My god. When am I gonna get my learning date with my emotionally constipated fake husbando

Twilight has a smug grin on his face as Franky accepts the cheque as payment to do chores. I love that addition!

As I love this

Franky grabbing Anya's hand and waving to them for her. They really knew how to handle an already funny chapter and use animation to add more humor to it!

Look at him, starting off so smug but then

He's truly an intelligence agent, trying to work with the information he has on hand. Since he doesn't have the information that Yor is injured, his plans are doomed to fail.

The way Franky is down with everything crazy Anya proposes. I love that duo.

I also liked the way they allowed Bond to sit this episode out, since that manga chapter takes place before the Doggy Crisis arc and Bond is not yet part of the family. I do have some thoughts about the timing of this episode but I'll get to that later.

And here we have the angst punch in the gut, as others talked about it, it's a point in Twilight's character to not see anything fun about the spy work that it's not even fun to play spy. Since one of the moments adding to that is an anime only scene (from the part where Anya makes secret codes) and the dialogue here is just slightly different from the same scene in the manga, it looks like it's a deliberate choice to make anime Loid more sensitive about this specific thing. Interesting!

I gotta say, it would be so easy to objectify Yor and her body with where her wound was. But even though they showed her in a pants-tight-enough-to-hurt-your-butt-wound situation, it was still pretty clear what the focus was. I really appreciate that.

Yor says no to the tight pants and Loid apologizes??? Why wasn't that in the translated version of the manga??

Like here especially, with the face they gave him and the way Eguchi delivered that line it was pretty clear that Yor's reaction made Loid feel like he crossed a line with what he told her. What happened in the manga translation???

VERY interesting picture choice for the movie poster! Ostania gots propaganda to do, after all!

I love how Anya fell asleep during the film while Franky cried his eyes out. Poor sap XD

And LMAO Anya seeing her parents leaving from the spa and trying to get Franky to move but he's too busy getting a massage! And then some added wackiness with Yor being so tense from her wound that she made a murder glare enough to scare a bear!

And Loid is still like DAFUQ AM I DOING WRONG

I like though, that he is not blaming Yor at all. He doesn't consider her irrational or ungrateful for the date, he just sees it as him not having done enough research... and in actual reality, he doesn't have all the data needed, specifically the whole "bullet-in-butt" thing. I'm sure he would have planned differently had he known that XD

Poor Franky XD at least he's finding ways to vent XD

The way they animated Yor's reluctance to sit was great, lol. I'm not sure it was clear she was "hover-sitting" but it was funny in any case.

I loved the tension when we saw the surviving Red Circus member! It was handled so well dropped right in the middle of a funny episode.

This had no right being this funny. But also. Anya is imagining a "default" kind of guy because even though she's reading the guy's mind she doesn't know how he looks like, so she's just making up a face to play out her imagination. Great detail from the manga already.

Anya imagines Loid saying he'll abandon her if he finds out about Yor being an assassin. That's another angsty punch in the gut but also for another post probably XD

The timing here feels a little weird. This chapter was supposedly long ago, when the family was still getting used to living together. Franky sees Anya worried and goes like "Even though they're a fake family, she worries so much?" and seeing that in the anime, practically two episodes before this one he went like "Hey do you love your dad and mom" and she said she does... idk maybe in the adaptation process some things could be left out so that they can make more sense.

How did neither Yor nor Loid suspect something wrong with the suddenly very thick and muddy cocktail she was offered?

Once again, upgraded animation as Yor drinks the pufferfish poison! I love it! Hopefully it'll keep being that good for the rest of the season :D

I remember the tension I felt when I first read the manga in that moment. I was like oh no! And then I was Anya

Gremlin Anya is back and I love it

Anya goes ahead and Home-Alones too close to the sun and fucking makes a bomb. That's a whole other level. You really don't want this girl turning evil, she'll take over the world XD

She should have seen her entrance as Thorn Princess' ally! She was epic!

There was some violence censorship there, as the bad guy in the manga is shown a little burned and bleeding after the explosion, but in the anime he's just... ruffled or whatever.

Idk they probably decided it would be too much to show that a child caused such violence XD

So does Loid go on thinking that Yor was in a super bad mood and then everything went away as soon as she downed a glass of cocktail? I also just realized she just went bottoms up on it, lol.

The episode was great and the date was funny and cute at the end. But.

GIVE ME BLUSHING LOID YOU COWARDS. SHOW ME THAT BLUSH. YOU GAVE US "HIS SMILE HIDES A HINT OF REAL EMOTION" YOU CAN AFFORD GIVING US A BLUSH. *screams* *eats drywall*

The date ends well and with fun! Then the monster wakes up again the next day.

Loid's got a lot to learn. Who knew humans can be complicated!

Overall, a great introduction to the second season! I'm happy we got the bullet-in-butt date and I'm so excited to venture into new stuff that I know next to nothing about :D

[moonshynecybin]

hyped to find out if bez’s very transparent desire to befriend marc/make marc fond of him will win him over(or at least get him remembered) by the end of the season. will it get him judged by vale? who knows! definitely not bez hes just doing whatever he fancies

i dont even know if bez wants to be friends i think its something much more subliminally horny and intertwined with like. a need to be liked or at least held in SOME regarded by marc. like i think when bez was doing his hungover postrace/gala/test instagram trawl after valencia 2023 he saw marc's ice brittle PR smile say i dont have time for that person. next. to a reporter dead fucking serious like bez was NOBODY, and the bottom dropped out of his stomach stone cold. what do you mean he doesnt like me or care about meeee??? energy. marc didnt even do him the dignity of shit talking him to the press :(

and now hes all aflutter because hes actually fr battling THE marc marquez (even WITH the rivalry blinders on its like. fighting with an icon of the sport. the same sport youre obsessed with. truly. hes real and hes here and im good enough to be on a podium with him which means IM good type insanity) anddddd the postrace endorphins slash puppy dog tail wag need 2 please instincts took over and he started to truly smooth over valencia in his brain like the memory erasure device in the men in black movies. beep. never happened. crucially he DOES want to win him over in the sense that he wants to be NOTED and RESPECTED. HORNILY. meanwhile marc is adding bez's actions to his carefully curated mental catalog of Enemy Infractions to Be Noted at Later Dates on Various Racetracks

[hawkinsunderground]

every time i start to feel like i'm deluding myself about byler happening, i give myself a reality check using the classic 'if they were all straight' scenario, and then i stop doubting. if everything remained the same--same relationships, same dynamics with friends--with the only difference in the show being that Will was a girl, it's almost painfully obvious. And because all a m/f couple has to do is be in the vicinity of each other to get shipped, byler probably would have been more popular even in the earlier seasons.

Mike spending an entire season right by his girl best friend's side, desperate to help and fighting to stay near her as she slowly gets possessed. Then at the end of it all he gives her a whole speech crying and saying that choosing to be friends with her was the best thing he's ever done? I guarantee you even with milkvan developing a bunch of people would have jumped on the byler train, and more others would be thinking that Mike and Willow or whatever would eventually get together later on, with warring opinions on who the better ship is.

Mike neglecting his girl best friend who is now hinted to have a crush on him in s3 while trying to get over being kidnapped and everything she went through? Spending all his time with Eleven even though byler had just been so close the season prior. There's no way at least some ppl wouldn't be thinking romance. The whole 'Mike's probably repressing his feelings and pushing Will away because he's scared' idea that a lot of bylers believe suddenly wouldn't be a reach anymore if it was a straight pairing.

Sectioning the two of them off to have their little cali romance all the while hinting at serious relationship troubles and conflicting character arcs for Mike and Eleven. Meanwhile the shrouded love confession from 'Willow', the obvious flirting. You can't look me in the eyes and tell me that people wouldn't be losing their shit during the entire apology scene if Will was a girl. The flirty smiles, the "I didn't say it." "You didn't have to.", the intimacy of his apology to 'Willow' in comparison to the apology from Mike to Lucas in s1. Along with all of the other scenes where Mike is clearly different with 'Willow' compared to the rest of his friends, he's always near her, etc.

Atp I feel like the general consensus would be that they're setting up a Melvin breakup and Byler endgame. Mike putting his hand on Willow's shoulder and promising they'll get through this together while literally showing Midleven crashing and burning in the same scene? In one of the final scenes? You're gonna tell me that people wouldn't be thinking along the lines of romance, with the love triangle pointing in byler's favor?

Mike's 'love' confession would come across as the lie that it was and a lot of people would probably be saying that Mike is not confronting his true feelings. They would be drawing the same comaprisons we are--that it didn't even work and the gates opened, that his (girl) best friend had to tell him and guide him to confess to Eleven, with them finally as close as they were around s2 again and Melvin not even really getting back together, with clear issues still present in the finale. The direction they are going to take things in s5 would become obvious without the straight goggles blinding people to some of the most obvious character and relationship arcs that have been done a million times.

The only difference would be the lack of struggle due to homophobia and would probably be more centered on Mike's inability to confront his feelings due to a fear of messing things up between himself and Will, along with losing el because he doesn't love her the way she wants him to, keeping to the core of his character in either scenario

You're gonna tell me that if people saw this and it was mike's girl best friend sitting next to him, they wouldn't be jumping at a romance arc between the two of them?

or his reaction to them being friends again, a smile and voice we've never seen used with any other character, noticably different?

the physical proximity, the fact that they seem equally flirtatious and affected by the other despite Will being the only one with confirmed feelings atp it's too obvious--if it were a girl sitting next to mike people would definitely be drawing some conclusions Anyway, byler endgame

[tremorsmackenzie]

kind of an unpopular opinion, but one of my favourite things about the later seasons of aos is deke. i feel like he brings some things to the show that the early seasons had and that got a little lost in all the misery since then.

like yes, he fucks up a lot, but its intended as comic relief and those are some of the best episodes imo. 6x4 for example just makes fun of techbros, like the stealing of ideas, self aggrandizement, and complete misunderstanding of women.

and he gets plenty of shit for it, but the show also makes it clear that underneath all of that is a good heart and that hes there for the people who need him when it counts. like how hes immediatley ride or die once izel becomes a serious threat.

and in everything that he does he is clearly the man from a dystopian future who never had anything. he doesnt understand racism, he tries to get as much money as he can because thats what hes used to and he never had much, and is scrambling to try and understand how earth works. but he also tries to be better because what he was in the future was born out of necessity and needing to survive, and he tries to fit in with the people he looks up to, and to show empathy and compassion. as a character, hes very consistent in his motivations and actions.

and these are things that the team werent really doing all that much anymore. i got the feeling that while they are very much family, the degree to which they took care of each other in the later seasons compared to for example season 2 (when daisy just got her powers), was less, because they became too used to all the craziness and it was basically expected theyd all still show up and do the job regardless and noone really had time to do more anyway.

meanwhile heres deke, used to a lot of severe circumstances himself, but given a second chance and now presented with all these hardened spies treating world-ending events and deeply traumatic personal crises like minor inconveniences, and his reaction is to try and show them the degree of compassion and support they should have because all of this is indeed very much not normal.

which is the role daisy had in season 1, and kind of fitting if you ask me, cause in a way it brings everything full circle.

[vienna-salvatori]

It's been 10 years since 1x07- The Hub first broadcast (Nov 12 2013)

So, in honour of an episode that's been playing on repeat in my head for a decade...

Here's my theory on what's actually going on with Victoria Hand, and why she's actually a paranoid-but-clever strategist, not as petty and incompetent as she comes across as.

Ah, series 1. Those were the days. The HYDRA reveal hadn't happened yet. Everyone was happy! They trusted each other, mostly! Sure, Skye's allegiances were questionable, but they got over that eventually. May might've had that whole "secret line to Fury" thing, but they sorted that too. Coulson might've had his head messed with, but it's not like that caused serious problems with his judgement until series 2.

... that we know of.

Here's a couple facts: 1) The team are running worldwide missions. Despite this, in one season, they end up passing through The Hub on three separate occasions (The Hub, The Magical Place (I think), and Turn, Turn, Turn/the finale arc.) It's clearly a bit of a, well, hub, for SHIELD activity, and sees a lot of people coming in and out. 2) It's unclear exactly how long Hand has been in charge of the Hub, but we know from s7 that she's been in SHIELD a while. There's nothing in series 1 to suggest that her command of The Hub is a recent promotion. Coulson, meanwhile, was recruited by Fury just out of high school. He's been in the field for decades by this point.

and-

3) When Coulson first meets Victoria Hand in 1x07, he claims to know her only by reputation.

Yeah, no.

I think it's highly unlikely that he's never crossed paths with Victoria Hand before. They might not know each other well- I, personally, think it's best if they do, but YMMV- but I cannot envision a scenario where the two haven't run operations together before.

My assumption, then: they did know each other. Coulson's had his head messed with, though, and he's forgotten all about it.

From Hand's perspective: that dude she really doesn't like has just shown up. He was supposed to be dead, but whatever, they work for SHIELD, shit happens sometimes. That said, he's got the strangest team she's ever seen- Melinda May back in the field, two sci-tech kids who didn't even pass their field exams, John Garrett's antisocial protege, and an enemy agent. (We, the audience, know that Skye is clear, but Hand has no reason to think anything but the worst of her.) He's also pretending that this is the first time they've ever met, for some reason.

... Maybe it's a weird prank.

She decides not to engage with it, because she has a lot of very important work to do and she doesn't really want to deal with any of That Bullshit. Except, Coulson's acting really differently to how he did before- I don't think it's very controversial to say that pre-Avengers Coulson and AoS!Coulson are two very different people. Melinda May- who she knows is one of his closest friends- is... not calling it out, for some reason. Also, he does have a history of recruiting wildcard agents, but usually he follows protocol once they're in. This random kid he found in a van is just wandering around poking her head into things, and Coulson isn't stopping her even though that is against the system. Hand might not like Coulson, but she knows that he does his paperwork and follows the rules. He'll bend them completely out of shape, but he won't break them outright without very good reason. Or at least, he used to do that.

The whole situation is alarming on so many levels. So... she decides to test him- the stupidest, most obvious test that Phil Coulson- who has always been pedantic about the safety of his people- will catch instantly.

She'll "forget" to file the extraction plan.

He'll spot it, of course. He'll spot it instantly, and she'll roll her eyes and file the paperwork she's already filled out. She'll say that this is why they have procedures and it's important to follow them, not just turn up in someone's airspace with a team that makes no sense and ignore all rules and protocol.

Except, Phil Coulson does not notice. It takes his team members breaking protocol in front of of all of them for him to spot a problem in the mission paperwork she physically placed into his hands.

And that? That is not Phil Coulson. She might not like Phil Coulson, but she does know him, and he always looks out for his agents. That's not Coulson, and May is playing along with the imposter for some reason, even when she knows him even better than Hand does.

In the end, she just lets it all play out, because this is so far off what she expected she honestly wants to know how far it reaches.

If she tries to chase up Coulson's file afterwards, she'll hit the (canonically very weird) firewalls and restrictions around TAHITI protocol. If she tries to report the oddities to Fury or Hill, they'll brush her off- again, TAHITI protocol. There's something wrong with that dude and no one in her agency is taking her seriously.

So. Once the HYDRA reveal happens, and she starts looking for moles? Well, there's one really obvious place where standard SHIELD protocol is failing. The issue stretches to some pretty high levels, too- this isn't just baby-agent incompetence. That probably means Coulson's HYDRA. May must be too, if she's covering for him. Skye is, still, basically an enemy agent, Hand won't lose sleep over her. I have... thoughts... about the fact that Hand outright tries to shoot John Garrett out of the sky despite, or because of, their working history, but she's definitely suspicious of him, too. Ward is his agent and likely to follow his lead- when the Twist happens, Ward plays up how betrayed he is, and Hand buys it without question, which makes me think she did know they were pretty close. Simmons is already in the Hub, she can clear her separately.

Really, the only actual loss if she was to take that plane down would be Fitz.

Hand brings down the plane because she has legitimate reason to believe Coulson is an enemy agent, and so is the rest of his team. When she sends her people to storm the BUS, she wants Coulson alive, because he's probably the highest-ranking HYDRA member she can actually get her hands on. She wants some answers, damnit. The rest are acceptable losses if it comes to that.

[kemihaydeestantonva]

I'm just going to word vomit my season 2B predictions for Helluva Boss here so I can come back later and see how close I was to anything!! I find this speculation game really fun.

OKAY

Predictions! The full moon starts out with the duet, apparently, so my guess is - Blitzø has been doing a lot of opening up lately so I think he is actually going to try and make this full moon more intimate (with Fizz's help) meanwhile Stolas is freaking out and preparing to have a serious talk with him. Blitzø pulls out all the stops (omg that giant ass candle lmaooo) Stolas gives him the crystal and shatters Blitzø's plans. He takes it as a HUGE rejection, the talk escalates to a fight, they break up.

Apology tour is Stolas and Verosika somehow teaming up, she makes the tour all about shitting on Blitzø and maybe Stolas initially goes along with it or maybe he interrupts and finally publicly stands up for him. Blitzø makes amends with Verosika in some capacity, takes the first steps in being accountable for his past actions towards them both.

Ghostfuckers is the ghost busters one, and that creepy blonde guy is Leviathan - he lures them in as an unassuming bellhop with the ghost hunting thing, then traps him and Millie. I'm assuming he has some sort of possession powers, and being the embodiment of envy he forces them to face what they envy about each other, intense fight ensues. We get backstory on Millie, who she was before IMP, how she joined, ect.

Mastermind is the episode with the agents and the cherubs, I have no idea how that is going to play out but it does look like they figured out a way to open a portal to hell. From the picture we got of agents one and two dressed in IMP cosplay I'm still desperately hoping that a furry convention setting might happen because I think it'd be hilarious

Sinmas is the one with all the Goetia family gathered, along with the sins. Looks like some sort of big shindig. All the apple and snake architecture tells me it'll be in the pride ring but I doubt there will be any Lucifer cameo (I don't think they could legally even if they wanted to). I'm guessing that the scary Zestial looking guy is Satan, and I think he's going to be bad news (I think when Mammon told Oz he'd "regret" admitting his love for Fizz that he was going to go over his head and plot something nasty with Satan. Or maybe Mammon teams up with Leviathan and the sin stuff is tied to the ghostfucker episode not this one, but the episode title hints otherwise)

I think Stella is going to turn Via against Stolas over these episodes, he's going to spend this entire time grappling with his breakup and figuring out how to move on, it's a prime time for Via to feel neglected and for Stella to make a move - and the gathering is going to be like, a public reckoning scenario resulting in Andrealphus fighting Stolas, and Blitzø will swoop in and protect him! No idea where this will ultimately leave their relationship but one I hope it starts to mend by the last episode. (I also don't get major bad vibes from Vassago so maybe Stolas won't be entirely friendless at this gathering??)

Anyway that's what I got so far, see y'all at the full moon

[mejcinta]

In audition tape Alys was joking about her being a barn owl, but what if she was serious about it, and she’s able to change skin

And i think Larys can do it too, that’s how he’s able to spy through Red Keep, entering minds of rats

Interesting thing that skinchangers don’t have visions, meanwhile apparently Alys has some, but greenseers have visions, called green sight, and are able to change skin, entering animals minds

Even dialogues in leaked tapes are not very reliable, sometimes they make into final cut, sometimes they don’t, and its delivery obviously differs, Emily and Gayle could interpret it differently, but dialogue itself usually gives some sort of context, so we can little bit analyse on text

It was just my assumption of Alys’ magical abilities, with all shit surrounding Harrenhal, Old Gods here and Isle of Faces near it, i hope for more magic next seasons

I love these wild ideas lmao. But I'm sure Ryan Condal will want to keep the magic at a minimum so that Alys' losses make sense in the end.

After all, she cannot be so powerful and yet be unable to stop some things or escape the clutches of her enemies, like when Sabitha Frey imprisoned her.

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

Doctor Who: Rogue Review (Doctor Hoot. I Swear That'll be Funny the End of this Review)

You know, I never thought I’d be this grateful to see a murderous owl-person kill someone with lightning and then steal their face, but here we fucking are! Six episodes into an eight-episode run and I’ve never been happier to see Regency ponces get fried with space-electrics. Y’see, Rogue is yer basic bread-and-butter Who episode: a confined environment with a colourful cast of characters who serve as cannon-fodder for a quirky monster-of-the-week with a batshit crazy motive. The Doctor and Insert-Companion-Here show up for a good time then realise there’s a monster-of-the-week at work (because the Doctor is a man who can’t go five minutes without running into something that wants to eat human bones or enslave a planet or whatever) and then they Do A Thing that solves the problem. Along the way, there’s some romance, some cheap shots about how shit and unequal the past was (yeah, ‘cause the 21st Century’s a fucking rose garden- people in glass houses should probably learn to jack off in the basement, etc.) It’s all very funny and energetic and entertaining but at the end the status-quometer has moved maybe one quarter of a degree. In any series of Doctor Who from 2005 to 2015, Rogue would have come and gone largely unnoticed: an enjoyable bit of filler rounding out a twelve-to-thirteen episode run because it can’t all be Daleks and Weeping Angels and meditations on man’s inhumanity to man. Here, in the year 2024, it arrives like a cool, refreshing glass of water in a desert, brought to you, the viewer, by a sexy little butler in very formal hot-pants.

See, aside from Boom! (which had a very good point to make and made it very well), this series of Who has been… well, it hasn’t been bad. Russel T. Davies can write a diverting 45 minutes of television and nobody can take that away from him. But it hasn’t reached the stellar heights of certain the original Who come-back either. Between the Space Babies being creepier than that episode’s monster-that-wasn’t-really-a-monster (NEWS! NEWS! NEWS! unsurprising twist is unsurprising!), Jinkx Monsoon not getting the acting direction she needed to make Maestro properly terrifying, the giant slugs that literally didn’t move the entire time they were on screen and a woman in black whose power was making people run off in a surprisingly camp way, this series has felt very short on effective antagonists. I mean, I get that the vibe we’re going for is ‘the real monster was mankind all along’ chic, but that’s The Twilight Zone and Black Mirror, not Doctor Who. It’d be like if Red Dwarf suddenly came back as a serious drama (aside to whoever’s making the upcoming three eps of Red Dwarf: PLEASE DON’T DO THAT, THERE ARE SO FEW THINGS LEFT THAT I LOVE THAT HAVEN’T BEEN RUINED). So, when, within the first few minutes of Rogue, one Regency Ponce grabbed another by the lapels and fried him with lightning before assuming his form (and then we got a shot of something with a beak), I was like “Oh thank fuck for that! I thought the death-ambulances from Boom! were going to be the only interesting villains this season!”

So, you probably already know (because why would you be reading about Doctor Who if you’re not also watching Doctor Who? It’s not like its a monolith of cultural relevance any more), there are two plots going on in Rogue. The A-plot is that shapeshifting Murder-Owls (the episode calls them ‘Childer’, but they’re fucking Murder-Owls and I will fight anyone who says otherwise) are killing people to assume their form and ‘cosplay’ as human beings. They’re bored: it’s how they pass the time. The B-Plot, meanwhile, involves the Doctor having a whirlwind romance with the titular Rogue, who is a bounty-hunter from the future sent to capture or kill the Murder-Owls. Ultimately, the two plots tie together in a way that gives the episode its emotional heart. Without spoiling anything, the Doctor must sacrifice his budding relationship with Rogue in order to save the day from the monsters-of-the-week, while Rogue, whose been playing the heartless vagabond all episode, must knowingly sacrifice the same in order to save the Doctor’s companion, Ruby, knowing that that friendship and her wellbeing is more important than his own, thereby proving that he was worthy of the Doctor after all, even though proving it means they can’t be together. On paper, it makes perfect sense. In practice… it has some flaws. See, there’s a lot going on in Rogue and the generally fast pacing of Fifteen’s adventures is much in evidence here, but a compelling romance- even a compelling flirtation- takes time to execute properly. It kinda feels like the two don’t really have enough breathing room: they fall for each other in record time because the plot demands it and then get irrevocably separated at the end, also because the plot demands. There’s no sense of slowly building attraction and mutual chemistry, which is a shame, because Rogue himself is an interesting character who, in an ideal universe (one where, for example, season lengths didn’t keep shrinking and squeezing out grace notes) he might have come back and developed properly. Now, even if he does come back, they rushed through so much of his relationship with the Doctor, I’m not sure how they’d salvage it.

I suppose I should mention the fact that it’s the Doctor’s first gay fling. Oh, would you look at that, I just did and now we can move on. Joking aside, I do have some thoughts on the Doctor’s signwaving sexuality, but since none of them are dementedly homophobic or, conversely, overtly Pride-y, they’re not really relevant to this specific episode: they’re more general notes on characterisation and how to do it well from the perspective of a budding professional writer WHO IS GOING TO BE READING AT A PROPER LITERARY FESTIVAL LATER THIS YEAR LIKE A FUCKING BOSS, BY THE WAY! Really, I think the pacing issues here would kill the flair regardless of the gender of the other person involved and that’s kinda all I can add for now. I feel, however, that I can’t really blame writers Kate Herron and Briony Redman. They’re working within the constraints of a shortened season part-funded by an American corporation that doesn’t understand it and produced under the aegis of a showrunner who, while perfectly competent, seems to have lost the magic he had when he brought the series back in 2005.

If all this sounds a bit negative… well, it is and it isn’t. Yes, my opinion of this season of Doctor Who isn’t high compared the show’s heyday, but I am enjoying it enough that I want to see it improve. I don’t critique out of hate, but out of love; out of a desire to see something I cherish learn and improve. We know Doctor Who can be better, so why isn’t it?

But this episode, specifically? Yes, it’s good. The problem is that in most previous seasons it would have been below-average good, whereas in this season it’s above-average good. On the one hand, that’s a bit sad. On the other hand, it’s proof that there are still people around the BBC who know how to write an episode of Doctor Who in the classic mould, and that seems like a good foundation to build on.

[evilphrog]

Watching Wheel of Time without reading the books: Season 2, episode 2

I am going to have to post this as half a review again. I had a lot of feelings, and I am never going to get around to watching the rest of the episodes if I don't just post what I have. I still haven't covered the Moiraine or Perrin plotlines, but believe me when I say I adore them also. You can read about the rest of them below.

We finally get to see what Rand has been up to all this time: having nightmares about hurting everyone he loves, and whoring himself out for room and board. It’s like he got separated from the group and immediately thought “What would Mat do in this situation?” He is also working as an orderly in a mental hospital. Ah yes, I see. He needs to prove the intrusive thoughts wrong, by being extra caring and kind. Someone should let him know that command hallucinations are not a predictor of violence on their own, and one of the best protective factors is having a robust support network that keeps you grounded in reality. In other words, he should be doing the opposite of what he has done. But that’s Rand. His head has never contained any thoughts except “Gee I sure love my friends and family” so it was the perfect place for Nancy Reagan to move right in. Just a big house with five bedrooms, cathedral ceilings, and only two cardboard boxes stuffed in one corner of the garage. The first was labeled “willingness to do anything for my loved ones” and the other was labeled “nuance.” The second box was empty. This will not go well for him.

He’s been caring for a man who survived the Aiel wars, and got some serious PTSD from it. He’s a sword master, and has been teaching Rand some proper forms. Too bad some absolute caricature of a douchebag working at the hospital likes to pick on him for no reason. Rand responds in the way every mental health worker witnessing an abusive staff member dreams of. He calms the patient, finishes out his shift, then follows him home and beats the shit out of him. But whoops, he underestimated his Manneler strength and maybe killed the guy instead. It’s hard to know for sure, since Rand has some major hallucinations going on most of the time. I feel for him here. In Rand’s mind, he was standing up to a bully as his equal. But Rand has no equals. He is quickly realizing that no fight involving him will ever be fair.

Douchebag fails to show up for work, so Rand gets promoted to the garden, where all the famous patients hang out. And his first patient of the day is Logain, the false dragon. Dun dun DUN!

Meanwhile, at the White Tower, Nynaeve is busy being wooed by an increasingly desperate JK Rowling. Unfortunately, her main selling points are gender supremacy and pre-crime. The fascism isn’t even thinly veiled, she just comes out and says it. Nynaeve isn’t interested. JK needs to change her sales pitch. To cope with the rejection, she goes and torments her pet Mat for a bit. He tolerates it, and as soon as she is gone, continues his Shawshank Redemption plan. He eventually succeeds in tunneling through his wall, only to discover another cell. At least this one comes with company in the form of Min, the psychic who bailed on the final battle. Once in the presence of another human, Mat’s charm immediately returns. Thank the Light. I like New Mat after all. He wants to know how Min ended up in Aes Sedai Jail (because she’s a girl), but Min has no clear answers for him. She does have wine, though, so now he has a drinking buddy. He offers to also be an orgasm buddy, but she has a vision of him stabbing Rand with the cursed dagger, which is a major lady boner killer. The rags and prison smell are probably also a factor.

A new girl has moved in to Novice school. Obnoxiously, with all her furniture blocking the hall. Egwene goes up to yell at her, and I get to meet Elayne, the girl everyone has been screaming about since the promo photos dropped. First impressions of Elayne: I want to hate her, but I just can’t. She is naive, but earnest. She’s very excited to be “just like everyone else” but can’t help mentioning that she’s the princess three times per conversation. I have to hand it to the actor. This character could very easily be played as condescending and out of touch. But instead, her sincerity bursts out of her with such force that I can’t help but like her. She latches onto Egwene like a lovestruck koala and never lets go. She propositions her in the first conversation, and says she hopes they become soulmates. Egwene is redheaded channeler catnip.

JK’s new sales pitch is apparently accidentally-on-purpose getting caught caring for her son, who is dying of old age. Or maybe it was a genuine accident. It is hard to tell with her. Nynaeve shows concern in the only way she can, by helpfully pointing out a mistake JK made, and telling her how to fix it. That earns her a slap in the face, which was pretty much what she expected, but JK does take her advice.

Meanwhile, Egwene figures out that Elayne is making up excuses to spend time with her. Good. She really needed this, because she has finally fallen into Gifted Kid burnout. She cries to Elayne about how Nynaeve gets all the praise without even trying, and meanwhile, she struggles to even get noticed. Elayne tells her jealousy isn’t a good look on her, in a voice that strongly implies she thinks nearly anything at all would be a good look on Egwene. I told Husband that Elayne is going to leave her morning whippings and run straight to Egwene to rub soothing lotion all over her. He said that’s actually canon.

Sadly, Nynaeve overheard this conversation. The thing that upset her wasn’t any kind of insult or character assassination. She is hurt that Egwene feels abandoned. She pretty clearly only joined Novice school so she could watch over Egwene and protect her. She is being harangued every day by the people she hates most, and now she’s being accused of ENJOYING it? Oh no! I hate miscommunication as a plot device, but I like this show’s spin on it. Another show might have Nynaeve walk away with the impression that Egwene has upgraded her best friend to the princess of the kingdom, and no longer needs the peasant from the two rivers. That was what I was worried would happen. But once again, the soul of the show is the way these five all love each other so much and know each other so well. I now have more hope that Mat isn’t as fooled by JK’s cursed dagger behavior as he is pretending.

JK interrupts Nynaeve’s angst to come extremely close to apologizing, and even closer to saying thank you. But her evil plan to force Nynaeve into an acceptance speedrun has already started, so there’s no turning back now. Nynaeve must walk through the arches and face her biggest fears, in order to become a full Jedi master Aes Sedai. Dun dun DUN!

Other episode reviews

[stanfordsweater]

Happy WW! What do they think their brother (or other family member if you like) does better than anybody else in the whole wide world?

i think sam really admires dean's instincts when it comes to hunting!! there's a few times when we see sam defer to dean with regards to what angle he comes into a room with, who takes point, et cetera, and despite all his griping, i think sam also admires the shit out of dean's improvisation skills... thinking about the rabbits foot episode when dean takes out the dude by throwing the gun at him, and sam's looking at him like "are you serious" but also "of course that worked, it's dean." (dean juiced up on luck, but still). or the saga of the rocket launcher. this is especially meaningful to me when sam's trust in himself is lacking in the mid-seasons, especially early parts of 5, after he gets his soul back in 6, and throughout 7.

dean, meanwhile, genuinely thinks sam is the smartest person alive and will not hesitate to tell you so. everytime sam pulls some obscure fact out of his ass and saves the day, dean's like WHY DO YOU KNOW THAT but also admiring, always, and is willing to go with it without an explanation (see the hallowed ground theory in route 666, that time sam knows every library code ever off the top of his head, the bloody faces "masks" in it's the great pumpkin, sam winchester). this is also related to improvisation, but i think dean interprets it as intellect/nerdiness where sam interprets it as experimentalism, when in reality they're both intelligent dudes who think well on their feet.

what they do best together is communication without words or even actions, just looking at each other and knowing what he's thinking and following through without exchanging anything other than a nod 😮‍💨❣️

[astxrwar]

Ngl, your physical therapy Bucky had me giggling and kicking my feet, blushing in the club rn.

I'm a SUCKER for touch starved - forced proximity - nice older guy and holy shit how are you even alive RCs. Lololol, you live like this vibes. Totally not for personal reasons...👀

Ugh. That gave me life. I'm not encouraging that story in the future but man... I am encouraging that story in the future lololol

AUGH YOU’RE ENCOURAGING MY BRAINROT i was walking to lab today and my brain came up with More Stuff for this because of course it did

imagining everything sort of comes to a head when you run into him while Out bar hopping or at a club or something with friends. and he’d be there with steve and sam and nat and your friends are Drunk and upon meeting him are like “omg you’re right he IS really hot!1!!” which is just like. AUGH PLEASE SHUT UP!!!! DO NOT SAY THAT IN FRONT OF HIM! anyway both groups end up leaving at the same time and you end up on the same subway line and then getting off at the same stop because you apparently live near each other. imagining almost tripping catastrophically on that little gap between the train and the platform and he’s like. jesus christ okay I understand how you keep injuring yourself you’re hopeless. making jokes about how he feels like it'd be irresponsible to let you walk the rest of the way home alone (his apartment is closer to the station than yours) and you're just like. laughing it off. he's just generally a flirty guy, teases everyone, yeah it makes you feel all warm and good-nervous but it's not like he's serious. except it's summer and rainy season and when you guys get to his apartment it starts to POUR!! and in NYC especially lately (thanks climate change!) the rain can get INSANE so im imagining him being like. ah geez do you want to just come in for a bit until the rain stops there's no way you're walking in this. and he’s Drunk and you’re also Drunk but it’ll be fine! your phone weather app thing says it'll be over in twenty minutes and yeah you definitely don't want to walk in it, you'd get home soaked and city rain is nasty.

you nearly trip taking off your shoes (i do this all the time. augh) and cue more playful teasing about how absolutely Hopeless you are. puttering around in the kitchen like ‘do you want… i dunno, like, a tea, or something?” (sure) (why not) meanwhile it’s still POURING. you guys start talking about just like. whatever. random stuff. and eventually he mentions how you're a lot more comfortable rn than during PT, to which you reply (because you're drunk) that it's because he's not, like. touching you. Bucky's some combination of flattered/pleased/endeared by that, cocky little grin and "oh, yeah?" and all, and you're just like. whatever, man, at this point it's not like it's a secret, and he'd said that people are like this with him a lot, so. Except-- he says this as he's crossing the kitchen, maybe you're not looking at him, watching the rain, but you can hear his voice getting closer behind you-- what he'd actually said is that a lot of people find him attractive. not that a lot of people REACT to him the way you do.

when you turn back from the window he's standing pretty close, leaned against the same stretch of kitchen counter, and he reaches out for the little ceramic mug of tea you have clutched in your hands, but doesn't take it from you. you manage to stumble through asking him what he's doing; minimizing collateral damage, he says, his mouth twitching up at the corners; you immediately drop the mug as soon as his fingers brush the curve of your cheek, and that little almost-smile breaks into a a full-blown grin as he sets it safely on the countertop.

you're real fuckin' cute, you know that? he says.

oh-- c'mon, that's no fair, you mumble in protest, now you're--

he tips your chin up with his fingers and you lose track of whatever you'd been saying like somebody'd reached in your head and grabbed hold of your train of thought, pulled it until it snapped right in two.

--you're doing it on purpose, you finish feebly.

yeah, he agrees. yeah, I am.

(the rain is long over by the time you actually end up leaving. oop.)

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Young Royals season 2 play-by-play analysis

This is where the season gets so fucking good I couldn’t even think properly, so this is where the “analysis” gets completely derailed and it’s just me going “AAAAHHH HNNNNGG OOOOOHH EEEEEEEEH SQUEEEEE” and just losing my shit over every single moment. The drama, the jealousy, the bottled up feelings, the tears, that kiss…

It was also so difficult to pick the gifs that I would be able to include in this post, because there were SO. MANY. MOMENTS. Thank you to all the people who constantly gif all these moments, for all the time and effort and quality (if there’s anything better than watching the kiss is watching every single part of the kiss on a loop, like I’m literally hypnotized).

EPISODE 4

“I don’t think Henry will snitch.” Oh Wille, you don’t know how gossipy boys are…

I hate that the girls are not only talking about Felice, but they’re not being discreet at all. Absolute bitches. Simon turns to look at Felice and smile. Is she the only person that Simon is friendly with in the choir? Poor Felice… (And how did he not hear the girls gossiping, if they’re being absolute bitches and talking way too loud?)

The first time Skott’s “Evergreen” plays and you realize that it’s about Sargust… uuuuurgh… and it never gets better… (the only thing that I will say about their relationship at this point, is that their first time together was very sweet and all about consent and protection, and I appreciate that, but… uuuuurgh, Sargust…)

Sara hearing about the rumours about Stella and Fredrika, and learning that Stella did not care at all. Stella, it feels to me, is being more and more open and rebellious, like if she gets found out because she said something then so be it, but not so about her feelings for Fredrika.

I like the girls’ way of being supportive, making fun of Felice in a harmless way, ensuring her that it’s not a big deal.

“But you should know that Felice only makes out with members of the royal family.” It’s like some sort of foreshadowing, now that Sara is technically with August and August is technically next in line for the throne.

“We should respect each other’s privacy!” Yes, Wille!

“So nobody was in your room yesterday?” FUCK YOU VINCENT, HE JUST FUCKING SAID… Fuck Vincent and his need to put people on the spot all the fucking time.

I hate that Wilhelm is so visibly uncomfortable, I hate that he’s obviously not wanting to share any more information because Simon is right there, I hate that Simon is obviously also uncomfortable and blindsided, and YET the boys just keep pushing the fucking subject. Toxic masculinity sheep mentality, dear god…

Simon didn’t end things with Marcus, and he knows that Wilhelm saw them kissing and probably felt horrible. Yet when he finds out that Wilhelm might have been with Felice, his first response is to seek out Marcus again… Poor boy doesn’t know what to do with his feelings.

“You wanna show me off to everyone there?” No, dumbass, just one person. Either Marcus is so dense that he really thinks he’s convinced Simon to want to be with him, or he’s so toxic that he thinks he’s already achieved it. Meanwhile Simon is still trying to convince himself that he can have a thing with Marcus, whatever it might be, a serious thing, a rebound, anything.

The burnball scene… still fucking gold. The seething look on Simon’s face, still so perfect. The force is strong with this one. Such a jealous, petty boy. I know I said that I wanted jealous Wille, which turned out to be exactly as I expected, a sad mopey mess; but I never expected jealous Simon, and I certainly didn’t expect this level of anger. Like Homer Simpson says “jealousy is when you worry someone will take what you have, envy is when you want what someone else has”. Whichever Simon might be feeling right now (pretty sure it’s jealousy, because he has not, as we have seen this whole season, been able to completely let go of Wille), I hope we get possessive Simon in the future. And I know it will be DE.LI.CIOUS…

(I want protective Wille and possessive Simon next season, pretty please.)

“You kinda have double standards.” Yes Wille, you tell him.

Simon’s little shrug when Wille asks if he and Marcus are official. Of course you don’t know, you’ve been gaslit into thinking you shouldn’t end things so quickly.

Fuck, Wille’s face when Simon admits that he can’t accept his family… it breaks me every time. He blurted it out, because he’s angry and jealous and confused, and he really means it, but as soon as he realized how much that revelation hurt Wille, he’s full of regret. There’s a horrible chasm between them, and Simon hates it. Star-crossed lovers…

The make up scene between Wille and Felice, oufff, makes me feel so much better. Poor Felice.

“Can you tell Simon that? That it can be a good thing?”

“Feels like I’m going to die… I have to let him go…” Poor baby. “Fun” fact: did you know that love is a form of chemical addiction, the main chemical being oxytocin, and that the sudden cutting off of the supply can give you withdrawal symptoms? That is why people feel physically ill when they’re heartbroken, it literally feels like their heart is breaking. Heartbreak also causes stress, which can have a real impact on a person’s physical health, and it can lead to depression, which increases a person’s sensitivity to pain and decreases their immunity. That’s why when Wille says he feels like he’s going to die, he’s so physically and mentally ill that it really feels like he’s dying. But letting go of Simon would be the beginning of his recovery, which would eventually happen… You can heal from a broken heart, but how long it takes depends on how deep or how long that love lasted. Meanwhile Simon is not entirely in physical pain, because he’s too busy trying and failing to distract himself/replace Wille with Marcus (placebo effect?) and also he has the advantage of having stolen Wille’s sweater to get a hit of oxytocin every once in a while (more on that in the next analysis). But Wille has it a little bit more rough. And the fact that Simon and Wille weren’t together for very long before they broke up, means that their love for each other was so deep and meaningful that it lead to profound heartbreak in no time at all.

That whole conversation with Nils. Nils is thinking about Wilhelm hooking up, whilst Wille wants something like what he had with Simon. Then Nils saying “one of us” again. Nils, just admit you want to bang him… Nils wants to take Wille to Verbier and present him with lousy options and for Wille to hopefully seek out the only person he actually knows over there… “Come on Wille, I got so many guys for you, so just pick me— I mean, pick one!”

(Would Wille have gone to Verbier if he hadn’t gotten back together with Simon at the end? Maybe, but he would’ve ended up in a room all by himself, crying over Simon).

Stella’s poem is so pretty and so sad… Then she immediately suggests to forego getting dates and for the girls to just go together to the ball. Sweetheart…

August’s face when he hears ‘military education’ and ‘next ten years’. Hmmm, not so into being next in line anymore, are you?

Sara just keeps hoarding secrets. The video, her relationship with August, and now August being the backup (and his use of ADHD meds even though he doesn’t have ADHD). She knows that going to the ball with August means that Felice and Simon will find out about them, and she knows they won’t be happy about it.

“Wille and I are just friends, and thank god for that, right? Dating someone in the royal family seems to suck ass.” Sara internalizing that information.

Wilhelm crying as he puts on the costume and makeup… my heart. I love Edvin’s explanation of it, how Wille is transforming into the image of the prince, even though he doesn’t want it, but he feels like he has no choice. This is after Simon told him that he can’t accept his role, this is after Nils told him basically that being out is a mess and that he should try to get with someone who is discreet. Poor baby is just so, so helpless.

Damn you August, being all sweet and romantic and making me feel bad about you… (Someone pointed out that the subtitles in english basically say that Sara tells him that she can’t go with him tonight, but what she really texts in Swedish is “we can’t be together anymore” or something along those lines… so she basically breaks up with him… over text. Even when it’s August, that’s got to hurt.)

Simon, what are you listening to whilst you stare intently at your fish?

By the way, this is the second time that Marcus just walks into Simon’s room uninvited. Asshole. He thinks he’s so smooth.

Never ever ever getting over Simon’s mischievous little look before saying “they don’t have names.” I need that on a t-shirt.

Felice looking FIYAH in her outfit and her natural hair. Love that she wanted to stand out but also feel like herself. More of this, please.

Is it me or did Wille take off the makeup? He doesn’t look particularly white-faced, like other people at the party.

Another secret for Sara’s hoard pile: Stella being in love with Fredrika. Poor Stella.

Simon going to the party with Marcus specifically to make Wille jealous. Meanwhile Wille is psyching himself to get over Simon, even if he’s miserable.

Marcus being like ‘you can stay at my place tonight, if you want’, and Simon automatically responding ‘okay’ because he’s not really paying attention, or he’s just going with it, he can say no later. And Marcus trying to get his attention by kissing him. Marcus, just give up, dude. You’re not it. You never were, never will be.

Alexander, who dislikes August so much for the way he treated him when he was prefect, and then for (as far as he knows) blaming the drug thing on him, rubbing it in that Felice and Wille are supposed to be together. Alexander you’re better than that.

But August telling Alexander the truth is one of the few moments in which August is honest, but for the wrong reasons. Just August being August, really. Stirring up shit (all because he’s miffed that Sara went to the ball without him). (Well, after learning that she actually broke up with him over text, I realize now that he’s a little bit more than just miffed.)

Wille psyching himself to be nice to Marcus, be all polite and show Simon that everything is cool, that they can just both move on… it’s so painful to watch, probably as painful as it was for him.

Simon asking “what was that? It seemed weird,” and then being unable to look at Wille, he’s acknowledging that he doesn’t like it, Wille being nice to Marcus, Wille acting like it’s no big deal, Wille being willing to move on too. He’s acknowledging that it feels weird to be strangers from now on. Simon being weirded out, like that’s it? No jealousy, no seething, nothing…? Baby, it’s what you wanted, or thought you wanted… There’s an ongoing debate about whether Simon wanted Wille to fight for him or not, like that’s why he’s so disconcerted when Wille is so polite. But he comes to learn that Wille is not like that, and that Wille is ready to put Simon’s wants before his own. And if that means letting him go, then so be it.

Meanwhile Simon’s facial expression, as it’s been pointed out, screams “shit fuck that did not go according to plan”. And Omar acts it out masterfully. (You can hear his brain short-circuiting, you can see the color draining from his face, you can feel the cold shiver going down his head and neck and back. “You don’t love me anymore”. Warning! Danger! Abort! Abort!)

His little smile and attempt at nonchalance, trying to pretend that everything is fine… but he’s literally hyperventillating. You can almost hear his heart thumping in his chest.

And baby Wille rushing out because he’s about to burst into tears… because he’s physically in pain… he can’t breathe, his legs don’t work properly… my heart…

August complaining that Sara seems like she only wanted to sleep with him. Self-worth issues, self-image issues… Sara saying that she doesn’t want things between them to end up like Simon and Wilhelm. “I’m not like Wilhelm, okay?” (Yes, you’re right about that, you are not like Wilhelm, Wilhelm would never.) But he doesn’t know what she’s actually referring to. She means that maybe being with someone from the royal family is too messy, and she would end up heartbroken, but he probably thinks she means something else. To him Wilhelm is the problem, because he’s not committed to his role as Crown Prince, he doesn’t want it enough, and August wants it so bad. What could possibly go wrong with that? What could Sara possibly be afraid of? He doesn’t get it. He also doesn’t understand that Wille is in love with Simon, he probably thinks that Wille is only mad about the video because it was a betrayal, because it outed him to the world, but Wille is also mad that this ruined his relationship with Simon too.

“Are you nervous?” “What?” Simon snapping defensively because he thinks Marcus is referring to what Simon is actually nervous about, that he’s seen through him.

“I’m just going to check something with the choir,” he lied dishonestly with his lying face. But if he had said he was going outside to get some fresh air or something, Marcus would have offered to come with him. Clever.

“I’m just trying to move on,” sounds like he’s saying it as much for himself as for Wille, like he’s trying to convince himself. He wants Wille to tell him “no, please, don’t move on”, but Wille is still set on letting him go, even though it makes him physically ill.

Why did he step into Wille’s space? Because it’s like magnetism, he can’t help himself, he can’t keep away. He’s saying one thing and doing another, because he’s short-circuiting. “This whole thing between us got so messed up,” he says right in Wille’s face, he’s so conflicted. He shouldn’t want this, he shouldn’t be so desperate for it, this can’t work… but the heart wants what the heart wants.

That kiss… that kiss belongs in every list of the best kisses of all time. Enough has been said about the kiss, so, let’s just watch it eight(y) times in a row and then let’s continue.

(Just an additional thought, Wille needs to take a moment because he can’t believe what just happened. He can’t even feel his face. He can’t believe it worked, he thought he’d really lost Simon. It turns out it’s true: if you love someone, let them go, and if they come back they are yours. He can’t believe it happened in less than five minutes. This has been a real rollercoaster of emotions.)

And then Marcus knows. Marcus looks sad, but you know what? Fuck Marcus. Fuck him for not letting Simon go when Simon wanted it. (But then maybe this was the way that everything needed to happen, for Wille to come to this realization that if he really loved Simon he had to let him go. And maybe Simon had to continue thinking that he could power through until he felt something for Marcus for him to realize that it’s pointless, that he was lying to himself as well as everyone around him, that he only wanted Wille.)

Wille really trying not to smile like an idiot. Because he’s so happy to have been kissed by Simon again, because he has hope again, and because Simon is singing… it a bit like the first time he saw Simon, and Simon was singing, and Wilhelm smiled for the first time in so long…

And Simon can barely contain his love, his relief, his joy at that moment. It’s the little half-blink for me that kills me every time.He has to look down, because if he keeps looking at Wille his face will betray all those feelings. Also he’s so pretty‼

(This whole episode was all about Wille realizing that he needs to let Simon go, to put Simon’s feelings ahead of his own, even if it’s at the cost of his own happiness; and about Simon coming to terms with his true feelings, with realizing what he really wants, despite what everyone else tells him he should do or feel. And when those two things combined… magic and beauty).

This episode was brought to you by JEALOUSY ™.