#me: time to get back to the kid fix

[ottpopfic]

There was a point in time, when it was Leo’s turn to be dead, that Jason stayed at the Way Station as he figured out his next move. It gave Jason the most vivid heart-wrenching dreams, ones where Leo was so real and so close and yet just out of reach. Ones where Leo was his and they were together, in a way that Jason had only recently admitted to himself that he craved. He would wake sweat-drenched and disorientated, not sure if his waking nightmare was real or the one he just vacated.

This is a little too close to that. To have Leo there but out of reach, beautiful and above him but still so far away. It's making wires cross, is this the real life that he fought and worked for or just another dream? Usually, if that inclination arises in him Jason can just reach out and touch Leo. Pull him close, smell his hair, sink his teeth into somewhere soft, and it rights the world again. But he can't right now, he's bound to the bed and that building anxiety is cresting

Is it real or not, is he dreaming again? Is he going to wake up and Leo is going to be gone and Jason is going to be floundering looking for another plan grasping at straws at how to bring him back? Storm or fire or storm or fire or storm or fire or storm-

“Red” he whimpers out, because if it is real Leo will stop. He will stop and touch him and he will know its real and it will be okay

Leo stops

“Jase, Jase Jason baby are you okay?” Leo asks with worry, taking his face in his warm hands, Jason starts crying with it “Cielito what's wrong”

“I need - are you-” he sobs out, straining against his bindings “I can't feel you!”

“I got you I got you hold on” Leo says, taking his hands off him for just a moment to unlock the quick-release chain between the cuffs. The second he's free he's pulling Leo to him tight, crying with relief as he crashes solid and warm into Jason. Its not enough with the state Jason has worked himself into, so he rolls until Leo is on the bottom and buries his face on his neck breathing deeply.

That's something the unreality can never do just right, the smell of him. The oils and lubricants that cling to him from his work, the tang of metals that stain his skin, the underlying hint of smoke, the spice of his deodorant, the herbs in his body wash. And the something mixing with it all that's just Leo. That's the part that dreams and implanted memories can never get right, his natural smell. It grounds Jason into this reality, the one they made together against all odds, the one that he's currently in.

Jason still has to cry himself out to come completely back to earth, it takes a hot second. It's alleviation dumping out of him, that Leo is real, that he's here and he's safe and he's his. Leo holds him through all of it, with both legs and arms, petting through his hair and telling him sweet assurances in English and Spanish.

“You're here right?” Jason chokes out when he can speak again, keeping his face buried in Leo’s shoulder just in case he's wrong “I'm not dreaming”

“I'm here mi cielo,” Leo says, pulling him impossibly closer and pressing kiss after kiss into his hair “I'm right here I got you”

“I couldn't feel you” he sobs

“Can you feel me now?” Jason nods yes into Leo’s clavicle “Focus on that baby, it's okay”

When Jason has gathered himself enough to come up for air, to brave looking at Leo just in case it's another vivid life-like dream dangling what he can not have in front of him, when he picks his head up and opens his eyes Leo is there. He's there as he is now, with his undercut and scars and the beginning of laugh lines, not the pearly imagined vistage of a remembered sixteen-year-old he used to be plagued by. Jason presses their foreheads together and lets out a watery sigh

“Hi” Leo greets softly “you with me?”

“Yeah” Jays says back, just as soft “I'm here”

“I'm here too” Leo starts the puppy nuzzle, the gentle slide of their faces together “just so you're sure”

“Im sure” Jason gives the nuzzle back, starting to relax the tension in his body “at least now I am”

[just-your-average-tangerine]

Was forced to watch a truly incredible (derogatory) thing recently.

A young person on twitter, adamant that transandrophobia doesn't exist on the grounds that 'no one is killing/raping/assaulting trans men'.

Several people responded, including some linking articles about murders and assaults on trans men and a couple op-ed style pieces of trans men talking about their own experiences.

Said young person responded with "I'm not reading those its triggering and I'm a minor"

So let me see if I've got this correct, you are knowingly refuse to acknowledge reality because it's upsetting to you and then you're going to turn around and deny that very reality because you refuse to acknowledge it because it's upsetting?

[piratekane]

Kate pauses, the coffee pot titled over her to-go mug as the freshly-brewed dark roast starts to fill it. “Another undercover assignment? For both of us?” Lucy carefully takes the pot from Kate, leveling it off before all 8 ounces end up on the counter. “Cool, right? A joint undercover operation. Thelma and Lousie, teaming up to take on the bad guys.”

i do, you do, we do - the imagined opening and closing scenes of NCIS: Hawai'i season 3, episode 4 (aka The Newlyweds episode).

[xxri]

maría for the ad astra zine! lc u will be missed T_T

[guinevereslancelot]

being the youngest person at work is being the honorary IT specialist despite knowing basically nothing abt technology except how to use google

[pilonciillo]

lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety

[crawlingpen]

"use commas" this "learn how to spell" that. you fools. the very core of linguistics is the change that you so despise on account of lacking any sort of knowledge or foresight. you imbeciles. we the linguists laugh at your little commas and dots that you throw around in your playpen. you think it matters? you think any of this matters? the only thing you should even slightly care about is if you can understand or interpret the core of the message. you hold up the punctuation system as you do the values of the past, thinking it sacred, much like a false idol. you will never be free if you dont stop policing the victimless crimes we've made up. you will never ascend.

[headfullof-ideas]

I have finished! The Adult References! My wrist hates me because I stubbornly refused to use the text option on Procreate (I just can’t get it to turn out in a way I like, sue me) and so hand-wrote ALL THE LITTLE NOTES. But behold! My adult versions and Ant, Fontaine, Finn, Madeline, and their respective partners, years down the line!

Some extra notes that I didn’t add in to the drawing because the ones I had were getting long enough as it is:

Ant and Fontaine are the owners of the Aronnax now, legally and everything. Kaiko and Will have a personal submarine of their own, like Kathryn and Jacques did, and they live at the original base that we see in the show when they aren’t galavanting around the ocean. The Aronnax is no longer there however, since that location is pretty far from where Ant and Fontaine live now. The Aronnax is kept in a repurposed airplane hangar, and she lives there for a big majority of the year since neither Ant nor Fontaine live on her anymore. They live in separate towns, a few days away from the bay the hangar is in. Though every so often through out the year, they’ll go and work out of her, depending on what project they’re working on, with their own offices in her and everything. They kind of treat her like a home away from the homes they’ve built now, like a hotel and office crammed into one submarine when they’re there working on whatever project requires them to be there.

Fontaine uses the Aronnax more often than Ant, for a few reasons. She’s closer to the hangar, about a days trip depending on when she leaves, whereas Ant lives a couple days away meaning it takes longer for him to get there, so he usually only goes if he’s planning on staying at least a few days. The Aronnax still has all of her old equipment, and Fontaine’s job has her somewhat working with/for the World Ocean’s Authorities, so the equipment helps. She however refuses to take full ownership for the Aronnax despite the fact Ant isn’t there as often as her, because it was their childhood home and she knows how much it means to him as well. They’re usually only there for work, especially if they end up collaborating on a project or doing something for the WOA like their family did as kids. Sometimes they even take it out into the ocean, again depending on what kind of project they’re working on. However, each summer they take their kids and spouses on the Aronnax for a trip into the ocean. They do this not just as a way to make sure the Aronnax doesn’t spend her days collecting dust in a hangar, but also as a way to help their kids stay in touch with their roots (though Jackson’s Thalassophobia makes it a bit tricky for him) and provide the opportunity for both their families to get together when they usually can’t. There’s also a seperate, smaller bay in the hangar for any aquatic faring visitors to park, whether that be their parents or Maddie.

In my heart, it is always going to be Madeline who ends up taking the wheel of the Dark Orca. Even if Finn stays/stayed a pirate, I just don’t see him becoming Captain of the Dark Orca. Maddie’s heart is truly set for that role though, and with my interpretation of her, she makes quite a few changes to the submarine once she’s in charge. For starters, the Dark Orca had a major rework of her entire system and appearance. For one she functions much better now. She’s got working plumbing and AC, the walls are clean of rust, the hull is sturdy, and the Red Claw doesn’t sink or flood anymore! Madeline is also still a pirate, but she’s a very different brand of pirate than her dad was. She still goes around stealing things if she likes them, especially from other pirates, and she has a stall at the Floating Market. The Dark Orca is still a pirate ship, and it’s also on the WOA’s list. However, it’s also on a separate list now as well, because Maddie sometimes does things for the WOA. Some other pirate or criminal steals something that they really shouldn’t have, artifacts or items, sometimes even people are taken to places outside the WOA’s jurisdiction, or a vessel sinks out of reach of the WOA’s base submarines depth. When that happens, a hint or notice is sent through a burner phone Maddie has and sometime later the WOA have whatever or whoever they need. The Dark Orca also keeps other pirates in line, keeping them out of marine reservations and fishing waters for smaller villages away from the general populace.

Maddie also homeschools her kids and has them signed up to a few online courses. They all have birth certificates and Social Security numbers and the relevant papers needed to make them capable of living or working on land at any point in time. She’s even scrounged up paper work for herself. Maddie takes her kids on pirate excursions but only the ones that she knows aren’t super law-bending, and they also help her with her WOA errands. She’s making sure they have some semblance of an education and background because she remembers how hard it was for Finn to even get into college, having to resort to the Nektons and their connections to get him there in the end. She wants to make sure that they have that option if they choose not to live their life on the Dark Orca and instead go on land like their uncle has, and she wants to make sure it’s easier for them than it was for Finn. Maddie also takes in her nieces and nephews on occasion for outings, and makes sure not to do any questionable things while she has them in her care for ‘Auntie Maddie’ time. She also regularly visits Ant and his family, as is her right as Godmother.

Jeffrey is, unfortunately, no longer around by this point, but Ant has a box filled with mementos and a few pictures of him that he keeps on a nightstand, and he had a little fish sewn into his cat’s vest. Buttons is a very sweet kitty, super spoiled and super affectionate and a little sassy, which is par for a Nekton.

Those were the big ones, though the Jeffrey one was a bit shorter than the other two, but these are my adult designs of these characters! It took me a few days, and writing out all the notes hurt my wrist and took the longest. Next up will be the reference sheet for the kids, with (checks notes) all…twelve of them on it…that one might take me a bit longer.

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[yardsards]

when characters have poofy messy but otherwise straight hair, i like to headcanon that their hair is actually naturally wavy/curly and they just don't know how to/don't care to take proper care of it. bc irl that is often the case (speaking from personal experience)

[tenwhiteandalusians]

and then no one said anything about the fact that if i watched ONE MORE episode tenax pulls a "i'm not angry i'm just disappointed i'm hurt" about scorpus signing with the white faction.

[loumauve]

Sable pic spam bc I'm ridiculously attached to this buggy game

[koko2unite]

[aaandbackstabbed]

Goldie needs to be able to one up Scrooge (it’s practically an addiction). So when the twins arrived and she hated them she needed a new approach. And she already had stocks in Scrooges business and maybe she’s been neglecting them sooo perhaps she should pay some special attention.

[dayurno]

everything aside i do think if nora sakavic was a real person and not a figment of our imagination her and i would totally have been livejournal buddies in 2009

[smallblueandloud]

i have to go to bed very soon so instead i'm lying here being overcome by clintasha emotions