#me: dies thinking I'm hilarious

[mo-ok]

spring is so close i swear i can taste it

[cookinguptales]

oh did paul simms say something wildly homophobic about wwdits and/or nandermo again?

this is totally shocking and not at all part of the reason why I switched to writing original monsterfucking fic instead.

[zephyrgoingwest]

Friend who hasn't read the pjo books just sent me an edit on tiktok which reference nico and wills "age difference" with the message: "explain??" attached to it and I just told him that nico is a pedophile, no spoilers in this house, just misinformation

[fragmentedblade]

I have so many screenshots of Kalpas' face I could reconstruct his face at this point, and I'm afraid to say I'm not sure his face is scarred

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

this is the funniest line ever in fodlanverse

[hardware-sparks]

Some silly doodles + a cropping of one because I think it's actually good.

[natasha-in-space]

:･ﾟ✧:･. Mint Eye Idol festival doodles! :･ﾟ✧:･.

Looks like our Savior came up with a new event to gather more believers... Her eccentric mind never ceases to amaze. It's a good thing she has many trusted followers to help make her plan a dazzling reality. Let's take a look, shall we?

Or, in other words: me doodling cmc's just because it's fun :D

Natasha certainly never expected that becoming an idol would be part of her duty as Ray's assistant... Her life in Mint Eye gets more and more bizarre every day. But hey, she has an impressive talent for singing, and once she gets some much needed training, she has no problem charming potential believers with her radiant smile and beautiful voice. Although her stage presence still needs some work. Still, it helps to know that Ray is just as clueless as she is. It's somewhat fun to learn something new by his side!

And yes, I put her into Hatsune Miku's outfit. She loves Miku! Just embarrassed to admit it. It's a good thing their production and costume designer is a huge sweetheart.

Next up, we have the most skilled performer in the group! Hinata is the one responsible for training Ray and Natasha on their stage presence, as well as their dance routine. Apparently it's way harder than it looks, go figure! As someone who knows a thing or two about being an idol, she's the one in charge, which their Savior is more than pleased with. She knows that their idol festival is in good hands with Hinata taking the lead. Their recruitment mission is one of utmost importance, after all... Who would resist a sparkling idol taking your breath away on stage?

Meanwhile, Chaewon is in charge of security for the event. Since Ray will be performing on stage with Hinata and Natasha, his duties are temporarily handed over in her hands. While their Savior did suggest for her personal bodyguard to join the others on stage, it seems that she has no sense of rhythm whatsoever... much to her own embarrassment. She makes sure that everything goes smoothly and takes care of any... sleezy individuals lurking in the crowd.

And Lila did a wonderful job producing and planning the whole event. She's also the costume designer! It's thanks to her that everyone looks so dazzling on stage... Although, nobody expected for her to come up with such an unorthodox look for Mr. Ray. But, it works! Natasha seemed very charmed by his leather jacket in particular. And, to support Ray on his first ever performance on stage, she even created matching outfits for them! Ray may be nervous, but the entire room fades away once his eyes meet his precious tester in front of the crowd, cheering him on and looking up at him with stars in her eyes.

Hinata belongs to @rfaromance and Lila belongs to @marshmallowprotection

Natasha and Hinata were based off of my favorite Miku figurines: Hatsune Miku feat my little pony Bishoujo statue; Hatsune Miku: Symphony 2019 Ver.

Chaewon and Lila references by @CommiGtl on Twitter

[tev-the-random]

LIMITED LIFE FINALE DAY HOW WE FEELIN'?

[troublcmakcrs]

//OH THIS SEASON IS ALREADY FUCKING ROUGH DUDE, IT'S FUCKING ROUGH

[halchron]

why is thinking about reno's age making my brain melt rn

[hanaasbananas]

9 of your favourite tv shows

tagged by @queer-cosette

tagging @thesamestarlight @2manyfandoms2count @omnishamblegreg and anyone else who wants a go

[jasonsthunderthighs]

I was on the phone with Tobin, talkin' bout how my great uncle died and how at his (Tobin’s) funeral, BEFORE, he's goin to tell EVERYBODY that I'm GOIN to say “Well, there goes a real sack of crap!” AT the funeral and to NOT get mad when I do say that

His words, “Mel’s threatened to say ‘there goes a real sack of crap!’ at the funeral, so DON'T get mad when they do!”

Followed by, “Can you IMAGINE how mad everybody would get after you said that?”

He's 53 and STILL ‘members the time I told him when he was in his 30s that I WAS GOIN TO SAY THAT WHEN HE DIES AT HIS FUNERAL

Like holy shit, this is one of the moments you KNOW that we're related

[lifetimeoftired]

there's a lot of (extremely good and hilarious) prompts where Danny has to leave his home dimension and finds his way into the dcu. What I'd like to see is the reverse though. Like, the goth furries who don't care for magic and have a lot of aliens friends being tossed into 'only ghosts are real and everything works on comedy rules' universe.

Batman: So these 'ghosts', they come through a portal and attack people and you, a 14 are the only person stopping them? Danny: I mean, it's kind of my fault? I did turn the thing on when I died death. Batman: -concerned grunting- Danny: I'm fine! Really! Being half dead isn't as weird as you'd think. It'd be easier if I could finish high school without being attacked but it's a living. Batman: Why not contact your world's justice league? Danny: What's a justice league? Batman: -distressed grunting-

-

Nightwing: So how do you handle normal criminals? Danny: What d'ya mean? Nightwing: You know, people who commit crimes? Danny: You mean like a purse snatcher or something? Nightwing: Not exact- You know what? Sure. How do you handle purse snatchers? Danny: -shrugs while making a I dunno noise- I guess the police handle that kind of stuff? I'm usually fighting the personification of sleep or my arch nemesis Plasmius. Which would be less annoying if he stopped trying to adopt me. But yeah, no. I don't usually see a lot of 'crime-crime' stuff outside of the 6 o'clock news every other week or so. There's just not that much of it I guess. Nightwing: Okay. So. Follow up questions-

[bee-a-ts]

I thought a lot about time and place with Finn's kids. Her son - born in the wake of the Calamity - was named Rorick, meaning loosely "famous and powerful ruler." It's a name that evokes the highlands of Gyr Abania to me, and represented Finn's aspirations for her son. Not only was Rory inheriting the Calamity, of course, but living under Garlean occupation. His mother salvaged scrap metal from broken Garlean machines to get by; his grandmother was a sex worker in a high end brothel catering to diplomats. Finn wanted a better life for him.

A derivative, Roric, also means "dewy," or "resembling dew," which I quite like. Freshness and hope to cushion those heavy expectations. Finn called him dewdrop or Rory, never his full name.

Finn gets pregnant with Emelin during Endwalker - a comforting afternoon tryst with Cid in between apocalypses. She keeps it a secret until her return from Ultima Thule. That's a story I'll write someday, but in short, Emelin's birth was an overwhelmingly emotional time for Finn.

Emelin derives from the romance languages, although one version does trace back to German, much like Rorick. It means "hard working", and also "brave" and "whole." A more realistic aspiration, but a lovely one nonetheless.

It suits her as the child of a Garlean and Gyr Abanian; but just as much, it's a nod to Emmanellain de Fortemps. Yes, really. Finn has no living blood family (that she knows - another story yet to be written) by the time she reaches Foundation, and the de Fortemps family therefore becomes her own. Especially after Haurche dies, she feels immense guilt and responsibility for their welfare. Emmanellain is often silly and disconnected from reality; but Finn cares for him as a brother, and is immensely proud of how he continues to grow. Naming her daughter Emelin is just another way of tying herself to the de Fortemps family as one of their own.

3/31/24

What names would / did your wol(oc) give to their kids? Is there a meaning behind it?

[ozzgin]

Just read your arranged marriage kidnapped by a most post and the humor in the servants always thinking reader is in peril. The same going for monster hubby (He just thinks they're submissive and breedable)

Like none of them realize they are a moster fucker cause they hide it so well. Like just imagining reader be like "oh be gentle with me I'm a dainty maiden" and then giving him the night of his life is hilarious. Or them having dinner and the servants feel bad for them cause monster hubby is eating human meat but their just thinking about other things he can use his tongue on.

Or maybe someone comes to rescue them from the terrible monster finally. But they don't wanna leave and instead fight the knight off. The knight thinks they've been brainwashed or something. Meanwhile the servants think the knight just wasn't good enough to rescue them.

Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance, NSFW! [Part 1] | [More Monsters]

The servants are not blind by any means: they can tell, quite plainly, that their monstrous Lord has a soft spot for you. Not only that, but the beast nearly worships you! They've come up with many theories, the latest one involving witchcraft. Surely you must have some sort of magical trickery under your sleeve in order to subdue their Master. There's no other way around it. All previous humans have been devoured, or have died in a pitiful attempt to escape, terrified to the bone upon gazing at his blasphemous Majesty.

You can't blame them. It's probably better for everyone involved if you omit the fact that your source of witchcraft lies in your...genitals. Well, not just that, of course. Your husband had started to lose hope. His appreciation of humans never came to fruition before your arrival. He was expecting you to cower in fear, not throw yourself at him.

He wondered if you wanted something from him in return, but no one could possibly pretend so flawlessly: the way you clung to him unprompted. The way you hungrily took him in, tears welling in your eyes, refusing to let go until you could feel his load avalanching down your throat. The way you'd trap his hips with your legs, despite being weak and feverish, asking that he doesn't stop yet. If that wasn't proof enough, your whines and moans were loud and clear. To think he could have his own little human, one who isn't repulsed by his monstrous form. He would've been content with mere tolerance, yet someone who begged to be fucked by him? He's been delirious ever since.

He loves everything about you, naturally, but he can't deny the shameless addiction he's now developed towards your body. He'd pound you anywhere and anytime if he could. If he needs to leave for official matters, know that the return will burn in the back of his mind.

"An important date, Sir?" one traveling servant will ask, glancing at all the scribbles in the calendar.

"Indeed", he answers solemnly. It's the times when he can finally fuck you dumb.

While the servants worry about their devilish Master being put under leash, for the other fellow humans the opposite seems to be true. You recall your last "rescuing" attempt distinctly. During one of your evening walks, burly, foreign arms swept you off in an instant. Before you knew it, you were holding onto the armored shoulders of an unknown man, as he made his way out of the traditional garden.

"I'll get you out of here", he promised between heaving breaths.

You stared in confusion. What was he saving you from? A good dicking? No matter how much you explained that you do actually like your newly appointed husband, the hero wouldn't budge.

You ended up just walking back home when the man fell asleep.

"That was quite the long walk", your monster partner remarked, polishing his weapons.

"Oh no, I was kidnapped", you state casually. "Got us some fruits on the way back."

Would it have been better to lie about it? On one hand, you do feel terrible for whoever attempted to retrieve you from the claws of the tyrant. Your husband is very possessive, and you know he'll scorch the Earth until that treacherous pest is gutted and fed to the pigs.

On the other hand...he becomes particularly savage after such incidents. You won't be able to sit properly for the next few weeks, but it's worth it.

Tough luck, you tell yourself, lounging in bed with a satisfied smirk and torn apart hole.

[hedgehog-moss]

Today was very sunny so I went on a nice long walk in the woods with Pirlouit, to stock up on kindling for the winter. He was walking jauntily, I think he really does enjoy going on little missions with his baskets! Now and then I tied him to a tree surrounded by enough vegetation to keep him busy for a bit, and I gathered wood all around him while singing to him. Avec le soleil et le vent ♪ avec la pluie et le beau temps ♫ on vivait bien contents ♪ mon âne, ma Provence et moi ♫ (Technically this song says cheval, not âne, but I always replace the word horse with donkey so my songs are more interesting to him. The only donkey songs I know are very sad, like Le petit âne gris which ends with "Poor beast of burden, abandoned by men, he died without a farewell", I can't possibly sing this to Pirlouit. He already has a resting sad face that he can't do anything about.)

I heard leaves crunching behind us, a few times. Steps. Discreet steps. I turned around, looking for the deer who was apparently following us from a distance.

^ Do you see her? Right in the middle. I saw her immediately, but only because I have had so much practice.

Hello, Pampérigouste.

Sometimes all she wants is to be witnessed. "Aha, do you see me? I'm out of my pasture!! You lost! Look at me" and then I'm like "I see you, Pampe. Wow!! How ever did you fool me again?" and she goes home, having ticked this off her Sunday morning to-do list.

But today she wanted to play. Instead of going home she kept trotting away from me in the direction of the road; this hilarious game is known as "Can you catch me before I'm on the road? :)"

I did not want to play. I had wood to gather, and Pirlouit was still tied to his tree and he hates being left behind, like a poor beast of burden abandoned by men. He was already braying angrily. I decided to wash my hands of Pampe, which sometimes works to make her go home. You need to act supremely uninterested in her for it to work. If you glance back at her she'll assume you're still playing, and continue prancing about in the woods.

I'm great at not glancing back. If Eurydice was my llama I would have saved her no problem. I went back to collecting wood, never paying attention to Pampe, even when Pirlouit turned around and stared in the direction of the road, his ears alert, doing his best to inform me that Pampe was going in this not-allowed direction.

Stop it, Pirou. We're ignoring her. Do you want me to leave you alone again? I bet she'll get bored before she even reaches the road, and if she doesn't, well, godspeed. Someone somewhere will get a free llama and she will be their problem. (I had a busy to-do list of my own for this afternoon so the question of how she escaped from her pasture is a problem for tomorrow-me.)

But then I went home and drafted some Pirlouit photos on tumblr to write a post tonight about our wood-gathering walk—and I read some asks from this week that I hadn't yet got around to reading, and I found this. (@confusedpersonsposts Thank you for sending it!) A wandering llama, terrorising horses. The article says this happened Sunday morning.

(I really love the shade that makes this look like a police lineup)

The second ask said "yesterday" (and was from a few days ago)—but the first one I saw was the message with the screenshot from the article, which said Sunday morning, which was exactly when I left Pampe walk away by herself and told her to go be someone else's problem.

For a second, in my brain, it made some kind of sense.