#me shitpost shenanigans

[wings-the-person]

wow he flying

[cursed-sheep]

Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo🐀✨

Bonus:

[spacebubblehomebase]

(Canon Luci with Shrunken Al. Did not go so well. 😅)

Everyone: Deer instincts this. Radio noises that-

Me: Why don't we make use of the snake thing more often? I will never get over the fact that between the two of them, the predator and prey is not who people would usually expect.

Tied to this:

-Bubbly💙

[bluewolfangel01]

Lucifer: "Mc what are you doing?"

Mc: "nothing."

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer: "Beel, explain."

Beel: "They asked to sit on my shoulders to be tall."

Lucifer: "I see now. And why is it that you wanted to be tall Mc?"

Mc: "A strange innate desire for height and the high ground."

Lucifer: 😑

Lucifer: "And you agreed to this why Beel?"

Beel: "They made me food." 🥺

[aydien677]

Salmon.

Mc: "Hey Salmon."

Solomon: "Mc, I told you before it's Sol-O-Mon"

Mc: "anyway, Salmon."

Solomon: *sigh*

Pickles

Mc: "So his name is Mepenalties"

Barbatos: *almost spills tea*

Diavolo: "No, no, Mephistopheles"

Mc: "Mefistoplease

Lucifer: *dies of laughter*

Diavolo: "Meh-phi-sto-phe-lese"

Mc: "Mephipickles"

[l3viat8an]

Levi: I’m so unloved and abandoned and mistreated and I’m going to die in the next 72 hours.

MC: So you’re like a tamagotchi.

Levi:*nodding* Yea but I’ve been forgotten in a junk drawer! Fuck my miserable tamagotchi life…

[janahanooo]

Did I get inspired by the fact that I was all alone on Valentines day? Yes, so have something I made in my misery.

Mc: I live with seven VERY handsome men

Mc: meaning, I should have at least got something from them, BUT NOOoOooo

Mc: so I wasted a night of making chocolate for nothing!

Barbatos: oh Mc... have some more tea

Mc: *sob* Barbs, why does my love life suck?

Barbatos: *he know that the bros made chocolates for Mc but they were too scared to give it to them*

Barbatos: maybe next year my dear

Mc: *sob* yeah, maybe next year...

Diavolo: OH MC! Happy romantic feelings day!

Mc: *sob* Dia, it's called Valentines day

Diavolo: oh, then HAPPY VALENTINOS DAY

Mc: close enough... and thanks Dia.

Diavolo: have some chocolate and rose! Only the best for you!

Mc: ... you know barbs, I actually don't mind that I didn't get anything from them.

Barbatos: ...alright then. Shall I reserve a dinner for the two of you?

Diavolo: OOOOH, yes! I would like that! Mc, what do you think?

Mc: sure<3

Lucifer: where is Diavolo? *has come to give him the finished documents*

Barbatos: on a date

Barbatos: with Mc

Lucifer: ...oh.

Lucifer: *on the phone* Code red Mammon.

Mammon: *on the otherside of the call* on it boss!

Mammon: *yelling to the others* RELISE SATAN!

Satan: *demonic rampage*

[notcreative360]

*In the library, with the Anti-Lucifer League..*

Satan: Alright time to make plans to absolutely ruin, and destroy Lucifer. Got any plans?

Belphie: We could put a curse on his pillow so he'll end up having nightmares every time he sleeps.

Satan: Ok, not bad, not bad. Mc? How about you?

Mc: Glitter.

Satan: Wha? Glitter? How is glitter supposed to ruin Lucifer?

Mc: We explode him with glitter in his room. Not only will it be a big hassle to clean off, BUT he will find glitter everywhere, everytime. Because once glitter gets on something, it never leaves. It will also keep finding random places to appear, he'll see glitter for centuries, hehehehe.

Belphie: ..You devilishly little sheep~

Satan: Alright lets do it!

[violent138]

Clark: *wakes up under sun lamps* "Hey Bruce."

Bruce, unshaven, cowl off: *looking up from League reports* "Finally. Now that you're finished with your unapproved holiday, I brought you all the paperwork you have to sign off on, four reports of shenanigans you can deal with, and one of the Lanterns lost a deep space "pet" somewhere, so I need you to find it."

Clark, smiling; "You didn't have to do all that. How long have you been here?"

Bruce, checking his watch: "Around ten minutes, too long already. I better get going." *climbs out of the chair, every joint cracking horribly*

Clark:

Clark: "Do you have any idea how many mattresses are around here?"

Bruce, rolling his eyes: "I was not about to lug a mattress in here. Terrific told me you'd recover soon, not that you can be counted upon for anything."

Clark: *mentally reminding himself that Ma would disown him if he joked about regretting saving Bruce's life*

Clark: "With that kind of bedside manner I'm starting to understand why you dropped out of med school."

Terrific, bursting into the room: "Is everything okay? I thought I heard something-- is he okay?"

Clark: "We can never truly be sure. Batman, stop laughing, you're freaking people out."

[linkedin-offficial]

more random sky stuff

tofe (1st bird) belongs to @splatanastamprr , marami (3rd bird) belongs to @lotings

[saayatsumu]

they’re sussy side-up, epel. obviously.

[wings-the-person]

better call saul color picked from langue de chat

this was lazy tbh but i needed to do something

[cursed-sheep]

Let’s conquer the world together!💥

Bonus:

[cosmicourple]

lalala post! epic crack A.U heavily inspired by ao3 fanfics where Ody’ is pregnant w/ twins, the first a result of him Manwhoring his way out of the crew being killed by Zeus, & the second the result of hate-riding Poseidon after being swept off his ship by said God to settle his grudge (went about the same as canon except, Y’know, freakyness at the end haha)

Shortly after finding out he is pregonat, our tired ol’ King Of Ithaca, along with a much more put together but still slow Penelope, would be woken up in the middle of the night by the two ‘other fathers’ clashing outside, bickering over who is the actual father of said twins hsgfbffgfg

after some tense negotiation with the two brothers to at least wait till’ morning (“proper morning Lord Zeus, not just getting Helios to come out early than usual -Penelope, done w/ these bitches shit), Apollo is begrudgingly called down to do a check up, to which it is revealed that the lil’ ones are of two different sire’s.

Poseidon is way to possessive.

Zeus is sulking.

Penelope dearly wishes to understand why interactions with immortals are always like this.

Odysseus may have thrown up.

Telemachus is surprisingly cool with all of this for some ungodly reason.

Apollo is exasperated.

(Ares is trying not to chuckle from where he is spying on them)

(away up in the sky, Hermes has felt something happen & has the biggest confused but giddy grin on their face :D)

edit: I just realised by this point, Telemachus would still be a toddler & that just made me smile at the cute idea of him listening intently against Ody’s’ stomach for any baby kicks 🥹 (also Athena would still be in her moping phase rn & now I'm imagining her getting over it earlier, coming down to Ithaca & be completely thrown off by situation at hand, just complete lack of context from turning off notifications lol)

[zephyrchama]

Does anybody remember the "chin on palm / you can count on me" challenge, where Person A sticks out their open hand and Person B runs over to put their chin on it? like this:

please imagine MC doing it with the the entire Obey Me! cast.

Lucifer might be tough to crack, but with enough persistence and egging on from his brothers, he'll roll his eyes and give in. Diavolo is absolutely all in, but Barbatos refuses to let him participate. It's inappropriate for someone of his position. Diavolo is determined anyway. Mephistopheles will only lower himself to such an act because Lord Diavolo eventually manages to do it and that makes it cool. Solomon is uninterested at first, preferring to watch in amusement, but feels left out and eventually wants to try.

[aydien677]

Incorrect Quotes part 6.

Mc: "I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone else crash at your place."

Solomon : "You people already know too much about me."

Mc : "I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let anyone but me crash at your place."

Mc: "What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?"

Lucifer : "Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-"

Mammon : "Smad"

Lucifer : "Get out"

Mammon : "In my defense, I was left unsupervised."

Lucifer : "Wasn't Mc with you?"

Mc: "In my defense, I was also left unsupervised."

Mc: "Luci, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?"

Lucifer : "I don’t know, love you, talk to you later"

Mc: "Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Levi"

Mc: "Hey Lucifer"

Lucifer : "Yes?"

Mc: "Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?"

Lucifer :

Lucifer : "Where’s Solomon?"

Mc: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Lucifer : Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Mc: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING MAMMON WITH ME

Simeon, picking up the monopoly board: "I think we’re gonna stop playing now."

Simeon: "Lucifer why?"

Lucifer who just drank 102° black coffee: "You'll know when Luke has his rebellious phase"