#me making a video of me reading that review

[couldeatthatgirlforlunch]

Paint Me Red

Synopsis: You and Damian like horror movies for the same reason.

Pairing: Dark!Damian Wayne X Dark!AFAB!Gn!Reader

Tw: 18+ pwp; Kinda gore?; Cannibalism kink? Definitely hinted; Biting link; Blood kink; Fingering; Watching straight porn; Torture porn? It's all fake and no one’s suffering; Pain kink maybe; They are freaks and they are in love; Worshipping?; A hint of love-bombing? I repeat, they're freaks and they're in love, your honor; Mention of hipersexuality; Damian enjoys pain, gore and death, despite not killing anymore, Reader likes it too; Reader has long hair and is implied to be wearing a shirt or dress with straps and bare thighs; English isn't my first language.

Word count: 1,2k

Requested? No.

Extra notes: Inspired by the movie May and everyone who yaps about yandere!Damian being cannibal coded. I also love when someone writes Damian a little psycho, a little sadomasochist. And a Damian who worships his S/O is the best Damian!!! I recommend reading this while listening to Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge. Not sure I like my writing here tho, especially the title, there were many good options that also seemed bad options

General masterlist

Damian was odd, you knew it from the start. Everyone who interacts with him knows it from the start.

That didn't stop you from being flustered when he confessed his — in his actual words — all consuming, undying love. You never thought anyone would actually use those words while declaring their feelings for someone, but as always with him, Damian was different.

And maybe you were different too.

You came back from your weekly date with him to the apartament you recently started sharing, despite being so young and having been dating for only a month when he asked. Your friends called it love-bombing. You had never heard of a more romantic term.

He took you to the bedroom as soon as you crossed the threshold, excited about a surprise he planned for you, but there was nothing different there, until he pulled his laptop out, fiddled with something, connected to the overhead projector you bought once on a whim, after watching a tiktok, only to realize it wasn't any better than just watching on your television or laptop. At least it wasn't as expensive as one would think.

Regardless, you still used it sometimes, even if for the sake of being spontaneous — and making your money worth it —, and your boyfriend was clearly looking for that.

You sat on the edge of the bed, and in less than a minute, Damian was sitting beside you, while a weird video started playing.

— I found it online, beloved. — Damian explained. — A short film, made by a group of independent artists, I think. — You nodded along, this level of cinephilia was not exactly your thing, but you did enjoy watching movies and leaving reviews on Letterboxd, if it caught Damian's interest, then it must be something.

— Yeah, very Texas Chainsaw Massacre. — You commented, not because it actually looked to be a horror movie, but more because of the quality of the camera, the eery atmosphere, and the scenario being filmed in the middle of nowhere. It seemed like an actually calm movie, but you knew something was up, there was only a young couple having a cute picnic.

Damian looked at you with wide, almost innocent eyes, boyish excitement coupled with some glint you couldn't identify.

— Exactly!

You felt some satisfaction and pride. You were the one who presented him with the classic slasher movies — one of your favorite genres — and were surprised by his eager acceptance of them, since a lot of them didn't have much quality. But he seemed interested in the death scenes and gore. Maybe it was the remnants of his childhood on him, but you didn't have that past and still related to him, much to his delight. He also commented about how unreal a lot of it was, from experience, no doubt.

It was almost cute. And hot.

Damian's hand laid on your thigh, while his thumb started rolling circles on your bare skin.

You let out a gasp when the girl in the movie, out of nowhere, bit hard on her boyfriend’s finger while he fed her a piece of pie with his hands. An exaggerated amount of blood started sliding down her lips and his hand, but he didn't scream, he just stared at her while she had mischief and desire in her eyes.

Damian's hand squeezed your flesh.

— How did you find this on YouTube? I'm pretty sure they wouldn't allow it there. — You wondered out loud, squeezing your thighs when the guy used his bloody hand to push the strap of her sundress down, revealing her supple breast. He leaned forward and peppered kisses down her chest, while pushing the other strap down, revealing her torso even more, until he bit her ribs’s flesh just as hard, face partially covered by her left tit.

Now, they were both smeared in lots of blood, from his hand travelling her body and the new wound.

— I did not mention YouTube. — He answered, and you hummed, paying extreme attention to the movie, intrigued, and half surprised to be turned on. But it was shallow, a thin layer of lust that went unnoticed by you, mistaken by intrigue and excitement.

You only noticed how hot you were, when Damian did the same thing to you. He slowly and deliberately got closer, pushed your hair back from your shoulder, and left wet, slow pecks down your neck, while pushing your straps down. You just stared at the images while he did his thing.

You were interrupted when he bit down on your shoulder, hard, leaving teeth marks, but not enough to bleed. You couldn't help the yelp of pain that escaped you by surprise, but didn't feel like reprimanding him when he soothed the feeling by still kissing you, and buried his hand between your legs, invading your underwear.

You opened your legs to give him more space, while your lips also parted to let out a deep breath, not out of nervousness, but anticipation. When you paid attention to the movie again, the guy was lying between the girl’s legs, leaving a nasty bite on her inner thigh. The blood dripped down and ruined her white underwear, but her boyfriend just started eating her out with the fabric still on the way.

Meanwhile, Damian played with your wet clit with his thumb while he inserted two fingers into your moist hole with ease, catching you both off guard with how wet you were with basically nothing. He had a hunch you would like his surprise, but not that much.

In need to let out some pent-up desire, he bit your flesh once more, this time above your breast. A low whimper of pain forced its way out of your throat. You looked down and noticed Damian's full-on boner.

You reached and pressed your hand against him, making him hiss and finally stop lapping at your skin, to look at you with desire. You kept eye-contact while rubbing him through his pants.

Damian pressed his lips to yours in haste, eager to taste your tongue while pumping his fingers faster and deeper against your walls, focused on abusing your sweet spot. The kiss was more sensual than ever, a dance which consisted in sharing heavy breaths, exchanged pecks, sucking lips and caressing tongues. While you both were like rabbits a third of the time, you being hipersexual and him being in love with you, the newfound shared taboo kink definitely turned things up a notch. And you expressed it by interrupting the kiss with a hard bite on his bottom lip.

Damian hissed like a cat until you let his lip go. When he glared at you, anyone would think he was livid like you just kicked his dog, but you knew him better than anyone. In fact, you were the only one to ever see him in the vulnerable side that came with intimacy, the only one he would ever want and trust to either lay beside his naked body, or willingly allow to leave a mark on his scarred flesh. Taste his muscles. Drink his blood.

He used his free hand to touch his lip, and found blood there. You licked your own, bright crimson and wet.

When he looked at you again, you wondered if you had finally ruined him for anyone else forever, and he made sure to paint both your faces red with a kiss, while he made you cum on his fingers.

Like, comment and reblog 🥰

[agirlwithglam]

📚 It girl's guide to school 📚

hiii girls! this is part of the big Guide to being the It Girl. this section will be all about school, studying and academics. i'll teach you how to tackle school, get the highest grades effortlessly, and look chic and gorgeous doing it! the rest of the ultimate it girl series is linked! 🎀

guide to getting good grades:

LISTEN IN CLASS. one of the best tips ever. if you would actually listen to what your teachers teaching in class, you’d get to spend a lot less time studying.

ask if you need help! these teachers are qualified for the job, they’re meant to be good at it. so if you don’t understand something, don’t be afraid to ask. and if you’re really too much of a chicken, ask once the class is over or email the teacher. but honestly? half the kids probably aren’t even listening tbh so u do ur thing!

participate in class. actually participating in class will help you so much in recalling the information. it’s a great way to actively revise. you don’t have to be a teachers pet or anything, but if you know the answer, put yourself out there. anyone who judges you simply judges themselves and their inability to speak up.

change up your environment so that you're still interested and excited to learn! you could go to a coffee shop, set up a mini picnic in the woods, go to a library, etc.

use alter egos!! i will never stop recommending this because it really is an amazing tip. either you can create your own alter ego who loves to study and gets high grades, or you could pretend you're rory gilmore or hermione granger!

revision/ study techniques:

feynman technique: teach it to someone else/ to plushies. try not to look at your notes too much, pretend ur a teacher.

use practice questions/ practice exams! trust me this can be so helpful! try and find past exams and go over them in exam conditions so you can see what u missed later. or, you can get all the info and ask an AI like chatgpt to write questions based on it and go through them!

BLURTING! love this method! basically, you write all the information you know about the topic on one page (optional: set a time limit) and then go over it with a different colour pen and add in what you missed. do this a couple times until you haven't missed anything! - you can do this by creating a mind-map, or literally just scribbling down everything you know.

SQ3R method: survey/ skim over the text, question- make questions on it, read- begin reading to find the answers to the questions, recite- summarise the words in a section in your own words, review- quiz yourself on what you just learnt

organise/ prioritise what you need to study using the traffic light method. first, identify the topics, then highlight them according to these 3 colors: red- struggling a lot/ no idea , yellow- okay ish, need to work on it a bit tho , green- good understanding & confident on the topic.

make associations. this is especially helpful for when you need to memorise things. the thing you need to memorise- link it to stuff that you already know.

⭐️ use mnemonics, songs, raps to remember! a couple years back, my science teacher made us create a rap on osmosis (a biology term). and not even kidding, i still remember the simple definition of what it does because of that rap! so create songs or rap and maybe even make a whole music video on it! trust me, not only is it so fun but it really does help keep the information in your mind!

more resources:

huge big list of studying and school

another big study masterpost

100 reasons to study

how to be a whole new student this year

ACE your exams -by me!

study icons:

as i mentioned earlier, channelling the energy of a character who already studies and gets good grades is an amazing way of getting yourself motivated! here are some of my favs & tips to study like them! (p.s i've also added links to the names for a more in depth guide on each person!)

♡ rory gilmore

she loves studying- develop that mindset! have a passion for learning more.

"i can go from 0 to studying in less than 60 seconds"

switch between different subjects when you get bored

ask someone to test you with flashcards

♡ elle woods:

study while you exercise- take care of ur body too!

"what, like its hard?"- i love her sm for this!! if anyone else can do something, of course you can do it too!

be ambitious + have strong source of motivation

get into study groups

♡ paris geller

have the discipline and ambition to do the things that will get you to where you want.

"i want to win, and i'm going to win." - love this, she's sure of herself and confident in her abilities.

prioritise & use to do lists

start early to be the top of your class!

♡ blair waldorf

honestly its so fun to embody her energy of high value, cares about her education, so confident and takes no sh*t from others!

"anything you can do, i can do better"

always have a plan

have flash cards, take notes

♡ hermione granger

always participate in class!

read more about the material. + learn more!

teach others & help them study

finish the hw/ work quickly and do the extra credit!

stylish in school 101:

SURVIVING SCHOOL AIR: here are some tips to staying/ looking pretty and refreshed all day at school bc u and i both know the horrors of school air 🙀 :)

DRINK WATER. stay hydrated - very important. always drink water. this keeps your lips hydrated, face hydrated, and just makes you look a lil less dead.

lip gloss/ lip balm to reapply throughout the day, esp for my girlies with chapped lips! i keep lip balm in my pocket so its always there when needed, but you can also keep it in your locker/ bag/ pencil case.

perfume. you can keep it in your locker/ bag/ pencil case to spray whenever needed and smell sweet and amazing the entire day <3

stop touching your face!! your hands have so much crusty dust and bacteria that can give pimples on your face.

keep hair away from your face. leave it out if you want, but try to make sure it doesn't touch your face too much- it also has tons of crusty musty dusty germs

keep a hairbrush in your locker. listen, i know how messy hair can get during school so keeping it in school is SO helpful to maintain the tidyness and cleanliness

waterproof makeup - if you wear makeup.

sunscreen!! keep. applying. SUNSCREENN!! i'm not going to elaborate further on this point.

ACCESSORISING YOUR UNIFORM!!

this is for the girlies who have a school uniform! i understand it can be so annoying so to have more fun and feel more confident, ACCESSORIZEE everything as much as you're allowed! here are some ideas!

♡ necklesses

♡ bracelets

♡ bows in your hair

♡ bows in your bag

♡ bows everywhere basically 🎀

♡ decorate your ipad/ pencilcase with stickers

♡ headbands

♡ rings

♡ cute earrings

♡ cute watch

♡ nails

♡ a cute clip!

the ultimate it girl series

xoxo, vanilla!

[entropicbias]

star trek online with a youtube video.

(note, this is an old post, but i've decided to do more blogging like this here, so i remembered it.)

i decided to try out star trek online and live out my trekkie fantasies the other day. my first run in with the game was eons ago at a thrift store, but my current laptop is lacking a cd player, so i couldn't really try it out for sure. i don't know if it would work anyways considering it's a copy of the game from, what, 2010? what would be the point of that.

the first star trek game i ever played was the TNG game for the snes. i emulated it on my shitty old laptop. it was unfortunately a bust, cause i had no idea what i was doing.

speaking of tng, before i do my review, did you know a certain somebody used to make tng edits? can you recognize that flute sample?

anyway, my best friend dave (who doesn’t even have a tumblr) brought it up, assuming i’d never heard of star trek online. TCH! who do you think i am, you simpleton? naturally, i had to flex on him. whipping out the cd like some kind of seasoned star trek online veteran just to make a mockery of him. but really, the joke is on me, because let’s be honest, no one takes a self-proclaimed star trek online expert seriously.

so, i downloaded it off steam and ignored all the mixed reviews! i didn't stay in character creation for too long, but i tried to make him resemble me as much as possible. that's because my character's name is john kirk. he is john tiberius kirk.

john t. kirk of the u.s.s johnterprise. because enterprise is a restricted word (STUPID AND LAME?)

here is what i was greeted to.

quite frankly, i'm a little upset at the amount of diversity aboard. already i am seeing TWO vulcans. this is absurd. there is only one vulcan that should be aboard my ship, and he hasn't finished downloading the game yet.

OK! TIME TO PLAY THE FREAKIN' GAME FOR REAL! :D

after picking some of my skills (i chose to be aggressive, pistol handy, and uhh... i forgot the other one but believe me when i say it was good.)

i am meet this son of a bitch

captain...? CAPTAIN? OF THE JOHNTERPRISE? THE HELL YOU ARE! GET YOUR FALLOUT CLAYMATION ASS OFF OF MY FREAKING CHAIR! i thought you started out as captain? what is the point of naming my ship if i don't even get to be captain??? i need to show this guy who is BOSS.

the second thing i figured out about this game, is that if you walk into an object and believe in yourself you can actually gyrate with skill akin to that of a zumba instructor. so, i immediately had to gyrate next to captain isaac carrot to put him in his place.

it was a massacre for garrett. if i was you, "captain", i'd hang my head in shame and go back to being an ensign from being so hopelessly outmatched. it was also at this point i remembered that i could record my gameplay, which countered my ability to remember that my computer's cpu couldn't properly cool itself and i hadn't turned on my laptop fan. so amidst scanning some debris, my computer shat itself and died.

AND THEN RECORDED THE REST OF MY GAMEPLAY! watch it here. https://youtu.be/eeEs0el8Woo?si=djN9iLpkH3bGwNle there is some impossibly hard to read commentary there, and you may be wondering why i don't talk, and that's because i sound like bart simpson, so it's best that you just squint your eyes and pretend like morgan freeman's sultry voice is narrating my captions. if you do not want to sit through half an hour of shitty footage, then feel free to skip to 24:47 where i realize that you do not get a chance to meet captain kirk at the end of your first rodeo, and it genuinely breaks my heart. that is todays post, goodbye. update from jan 2025: i haven't touched the game since because i realized that i was just not going to be all that invested if most of the gameplay was from outside of the ship and i didn't have my very own personal spock.

-eb

[docholligay]

IT'S IMPROVEMENT BINGO TIME.

I worked really hard on trying to do a wide mix of things so I thought most people could get a bingo. I also really wanted to give people a lot of avenues to work on things, hence the multiple card choices. I know you can do and be better, and I think you'll feel a sense of accomplishment for putting yourself out there. You can get up to three bingos one card. Then you can start another card, but you have to redo the item to get the space.

The prize: A 6 hour Eight Days of Content slot! This is a) longer than anything for sale, and b) probably my best attended event of the year, so the best way to get eyes on stuff. In addition, every quarter I'll be giving something away (book review, movie review, stream, etc) for things such as 'community cheerleaders' or 'funny writeups' or what have you, for people who are actively playing.

How to get a card: Pick one of the three cards from the post above. They are just 1, 2, 3. Whichever one you think I have the best approach on. You will send this with your tumblr name to the email below

dholligay@gmail.com (This is also where you will send anything that, in the below, says, 'send me')

I will keep track of it, and you will keep track of it. Together, we will conquer.

So Doc, how do I complete these objectives? A huge list of how is below! You will almost certainly need to join the community:

Holligay's Dude Ranch

This will run through DECEMBER 5TH, 2025.

A note: I CAN PLAY TOO. I can win back my own space--the only extra rule for me is I can't do anything privately (obviously). SO LET'S DO THIS.

If you have any questions, please please please ask!

Do a movie report from the Holligay Movie List: Easy! Watch one of the movies from the list, and give me a 600ish word report on how you felt about it, posted in the community. I reserve the right to ask follow up questions about the movie!

Do one week of the Hybrid calisthenics routine https://www.hybridcalisthenics.com/programs Follow this for one week, take videos of you doing at least two days, and do a small write up. You can just send the video to me, but the write up, post to the community. 

Have a meatless meal: Cook a vegetarian meal, and share a picture with the community!

Call your representative: Call your representative on an issue you care about. Post about what you called about and how it went in the community! 

Try a new art or craft: Try something new! Post a picture and a little write up in the community. 

Go to a social event or party: What it sounds like. Strengthening in-person bonds is important for community work. Take a picture from the event and post it to the community! 

Create an improvement goal with a plan: What it sounds like. Think about something you’d like to improve, come up with a plan to do it, and post your improvement idea and plan to the community!

One minute tree pose: One minute in full tree! Take a video of yourself and send it to me. 

Give effusive praise on someone’s fic: Effusively praise someone’s fic. Send me the link to it. 

Send a friend a loving letter: Send a friend a loving letter! Take a picture of part of the letter and the envelope and send it to me. 

Run a 5k! Post your chip time to the community with a small write up. 

Holligay Cookalong: COMING SOON. I am going to post a recipe every quarter, and if you make it and post a picture to the community, you fill this space

Think Doc is Right About Something: THIS IS BASICALLY YOUR FREE SPACE BUT. You do have to post in the community for what I’m right about! 

Do a two minute plank: Exactly what it sounds like, take a video of you doing a two minute plank, and send it to me. 

Journal every day for one week: Journal! Do a little write up about how you found it on the community

Do a book report from the holligay book list: Just like the movie report, read the book, write up a 600ish word report, post to the community

Volunteer one hour: Volunteer one hour to any HUMAN BASED charity or cause (ask me if you need a clarification). Let me know the event, the cause, take a picture at the event. Send it all to me. 

Join a Holligay book Club: This one’s easy. If you’re at the book club, and you participate, you get the space. 

Do the 15 min stretching video every day for a week: Do this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kq1RZFV5tM4 for a week! Then come back and tell the community how it was, if you noticed any weak spots in yourself, etc. 

Give effusive praise on someone’s art: Give effusive praise! And link me to it! 

Send a letter to your representative: Send a letter about an issue! Send me a picture of part of the letter, and the envelope. 

Complete a 500ish word answer to a Holligay reflection question: These can be either sent to me personally or they can be posted in the community

Add non-starchy veg to every meal for three days: Just take pictures of your meals, and post a little write up thing in the community!

BINGO CARDS BITCHES

details coming soon, but this will go all fucking year, and there will be three prizes at the end of the year, one being a day during eight days. There will also be quarterly micro-prizes!

I will give you the full details on probably...wednesday? but here are the bingo cards--I did three different randomizations because I love you, so you can pick one that has the best 'approach' for you.

[paul-simon-juggling]

Press Photo from One Trick Pony (1980)

Deleted scene where Jonah (Paul Simon) tells his son Matty (Michael Pearlman) a bedtime story.

[deoidesign]

Hm... I'm feeling benevolent...

[turquoisemagpie]

Appreciate the little things.

Not to ignorantly deny all of the big bad things in the world, but to survive them.

[starmocha]

I literally just wanted to listen to the song.

It sounds like it should be the end credit after you finish the main story and made it through an arduous journey, and now everyone is going to live happily ever after. This would be playing during an epilogue as it shows scenes of every single character going about their normal daily life. As the song ends, it will pan to the main characters, implying that this is just the beginning of the next stage of their lives.

[13lizardsinatrenchcoat]

Nothing I can say about Dunya has not already been said better by Hanif Abdurraqib in this article .

I highly recommend reading it in full, even if the Mustafa is unfamiliar to you. The mastery that both he and Mr. Abdurraqib have over language makes the interview itself a poignant mediation on art and class and race and music and war and and and and.

Dunya is probably my album of the year, and I'll steal a quote from the article here to tell you why:

"Perhaps the miracle of Dunya is how it moves with a spirit of vibrant protection, the miraculous ability to hold, in your palm, an entire city and everyone you have ever loved and who has poured into it – to draw people close and say can you believe THIS?"

I'll end this with a reminder that the proceeds from Mustafa's music video for Gaza Is Calling go to the PCRF and that the song is an excellent entry point for his music.

[raylangivins]

What's so bad about broey deschanel videos? I think they're fine 🤷‍♀️

She’s meh. Sometimes I like her work but often I feel like she’s either making up a guy to get mad at (a handful of twitter users with opinions that are very much in the minority) or presenting people’s criticisms of something she likes as some sort of shallow bad take when it clearly isn’t.

[ace-with--a-mace]

i hate peer reviews so much

[shinakazami1]

New Tales Ep 4 live review!!

- Before the intro sequence, I thought Anu didn't know Octavio friends? I don't know the timeframe in all this so it does feel a tad bit weird though, in this run I had killed Juniper so...

- Dear God Octavio not noticing it's Fran's Frogurt is so stupid 😭😭 literally no words. Till this exact moment, I could excuse a lot of the writing... Please.... He's not this dumb, right,,,, ouu,,

- "SAY UNCLE" "You're my sister and I'm your uncle" - I want to know the story behind this sm

- Fergus looking saved it with L0U13 free labour dance but.... Why did we even have the the mental worry, and then the stupid hitting Fergus butt,,, I know the games have this humour but this whole bit felt like not so well timed break

- This game cannot get where it is standing with the killing hmmmm, like no character in this run had a constant (though idk why L0u13, after his crisis, gets once again pro killing,, gonna try replaying better version)

- BROCK BACK AND HE JUST STRAIGTH UP SHOT ANU-PLEASE OFAIHFAS

- GUYS U HAVE THE GUN THAT HEALS 😭😭😭I know they wanted to make this joke but PLEASE

- I feel weird about FRAN being seen as newbie in business. Sure, she only knew one but she kept it going for a long time so I feel she knows a tad bit more seeing it's a fam business for years. Esp after that Susan talk in ep 1. She feels she should know sth more

- Bivington showing up,,, I did expect him to but I wonder. I can tell this is some setup but I wonder what type (future me I say hi) (hi past shina - dear god not one i expected, diluted elon musk oifashfiaos)

- can I propose an overpriced drink AS SIGN OF SUCCESS IS KILLING ME

- it's weird that any didn't realise she could use the lab for their project cud they need

- Anu from being a Newby to being a big fan of Maya Vaultfinder mega ultra player,,, I'm so proud

- JABBER PUBLIC PEEING AND SOOTHING MUSIC PLEASE WHAT WAS THAT WHY DID I STUMP UPON

- Anu being seen as genius and then most the work is just,,,, the goggles,,, the slapping,,,,, it's all so silly

- I was curious what would be Fran's wish and the synth sad music in there reminded me of Hyer Light drifter soundtrack. But Rita,,,

- BADASS SUPERFAN IS MY FAV character beside Rhys and all Tediore soldiers wjjwh

- Foopy PLEASE??? FOOP POOP??? The only thing broken is you HELLO - WHY WE GOT BOTH PISS AND POOP THIS EPISODE

- I wonder if Fran's focus on sexuality is a trauma response, too,, future shina here, but based on what you can tell LOUI3 I think that is the case

- 😭 Why did so many people know and could reference before Fran's traumatic experience tho??? Like it puts her so down and others just know it

-VVIP IS MORE LIKE WIP WORK WORK WORK and i got Octavio to sniff the substance cus I imagine he would try it sjshhehe

- VVVIP,,, WHAT'S NEXT A VVVVIP CUS I HOPE TO SEE SOME WWIPS,,, Also I made Octavio dance

- BADASS BEING FIRED NOOO I hope I will see him in fifth episode :0

- Susan having a gun. You go girl boss actually

- HELLO UNPROTECTED DATA STDs??? dear GOD I EXPECTED THIS AND YET I AM STILL BAFFLED

- THE FACT THERE IS A TRANSLATOR FOR YALL TALK

- I get why people like Susan, I love the translator bit, the bitchy high atittude, she gets it

- BRO THE FACT KATAGAWA SR IS NEXT TO RHYS IS LIKE 'haha remember how my son wanted to kill you well now another person does'

- "dangerous, yes?" girl it's a glowing rock

- I took around 20 screenshots of Rhys alone 😭😭😭I'm down BAD

- I wish got control of Octavio if he would say Susan is the boss... I feel it's a wasted potential

[loverboybrightsideghost]

so has anyone checked rusty quill's youtube lately

[watery-melon-baller]

literally going insane rn. hater instinct is so string im unwell.

[icantalk710]

📱😪

[revolutionsingingintherainnn]

can I request ‘accidentally calling the other wife/husband’ for lando please 🥹

girlfriend? wife? ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

Prompt: 63. accidentally calling the other wife/husband

𓆉 ln x reader 𐙚

𓆉 fluff 𐙚

masterlist ☾☼

1. ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧˚.

just as the car reached the hotel, lando immediately held your hand. there were crowds of people on both sides, restricted by a barricade.

"you know what to do, right?" he asked you, softly.

"yes, lovie. we've done this hundreds of times before," you replied, unable to keep the smile hidden.

"i know, i know. i just worry. ever since my tiktok started showing me all those videos of celebrities getting attacked, i've been paranoid,"

"i'm aware. you forget, though, that you're the celebrity,"

lando tsked, "half the time, these people talk to me about you. the only reason they're fans of me is because of you,"

you laughed, and lando opened the door, stepping out. you followed. immediately, you walked inside the hotel with your head down, and watched lando from inside the safety of the hotel.

lando was taking his time and signing whatever was getting shoved in his face, smiling and interacting with a few of the fans as well. he took selfies, marvelled at the nail art that some of them had done, had brief discussions about tattoo designs for the fan. he loved it.

somewhere between the cheers of the fans, lando looked at the hotel entrance, searching for you. when he couldn't see you, he pouted, whispering to himself, "where's my wifey?"

the fans nearby heard him, and began cheering louder. lando's eyes widened as he realised his mistake.

well, fuck.

2. ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧˚.

they had another mini break after singapore. the team were all gathered at the mtc, just reviewing the past few races, and discussing what they were planning for the upcoming races.

zak and andrea had given speeches, as were expected, and then oscar and lando were called on stage as well.

oscar gave his speech first, though, it was just him thanking the team, andrea, zak, and lando, and how he was grateful for all their help in hungary and baku especially.

then, it was lando's turn.

"i think, oscar summed it up pretty well, actually. nothing left for me to say."

people laughed.

"um, yeah, no, i'm really thankful for all the hardwork that every person in this room has done. i mean, like oscar said, it wouldn't have been possible with any of y'all. our wins are yours, because really, we just go out and drive. everything else is all you," he said, gesturing to the room full of people.

"and, while i am so happy to be able to work with all of you, i really need to give special mentions to andrea, zak, oscar, jon, my mechanics, my wife-"

the crowd burst out in teasing "ooohs" and lando slapped a hand over his eyes as he laughed.

"we're not married yet. i keep doing that. we're not married yet. besides, when we get married, i'd call all of you. most of you. some. no, all." lando broke off again, as the crowd laughed.

he turned towards his girlfriend, and said, "babe, i've made a commitment now. we gotta have a huge wedding,"

everyone laughed again, including you.

"i'm gonna go bankrupt with so many people at the wedding,"

people continued laughing.

"how about this, the reception would be from mclaren?" zak said, wrapping an arm around lando's shoulders as he laughed.

"oh, how nice of you, zak,"

"no! it's gonna be all papaya! i'm not getting married in papaya colours!" you shouted from the side, smiling.

"huh? it's gonna be all papaya? well, babe, we gotta make sacrifices here," lando said.

the laughs of everyone mixed together, and eventually, lando composed himself enough to continue his speech.

3. ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧˚.

max was streaming on twitch. he wasn't doing anything in particular, really. he was just there, chatting with the chat, but mostly talking to lando who was sprawled on the bed behind him.

niran was on his way to max's apartment, and max and lando were just patiently waiting for their friend.

max began reading some of the comments in the chat, and responding, when one of them caught his eye.

"who is lando texting so angrily?" max read out loud. he turned and looked at his friend, who was still quickly typing on his phone.

"mate, who are you texting?" max asked, watching lando's concentrated face.

"the wifey," lando mumbled.

immediately, max turned to the chat and said, "he's not married! he's a dumbass who gets words mixed up! they're still only dating!"

"huh?" lando looked up, confused.

"you called her your wife." max explained.

lando groaned, "it keeps happening, i don't even know why,"

"right, cause that makes so much sense. what are you fighting with her about anyway?" he asked.

lando looked at his friend, confused, "we're not fighting,"

"then why do you look so mad?"

"do i? we were just planning our trip next month, and i was focused on that," lando revealed.

"that makes sense. do y'all fight though?"

lando's attention was back at his phone as he began typing again, "no. i do something stupid, she yells at me, i apologise,"

"what if she does something stupid?" max asked.

lando looked up from his phone, and the two best friends stare at each other for a few seconds before they burst out laughing. lando rolled on the bed as he laughed, and max fell off his chair.

the chat buzzed, trying to figure out what was so funny, but max and lando couldn't stop laughing.

"what if she does something stupid? oh, max, that was the funniest shit you've ever said," lando laughed.

"i knew it the moment i said it," max responded through his laughter.

"the only stupid thing she does is me," lando said, calming down a little.

"oh, for fuck's sake, lando!" max yelled at him, making him dissolve into laughter again.

+

˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧˚.

lando was sweating, his cap on his head was hiding the mess that his curls had become. he ran a hand through his face to wipe off the excess sweat as he paid attention to the question.

"so, lando, first pole position of the season in the very first race. how do you feel about that?" the interviewer asked.

"um, i mean, i feel good about it, obviously. seems like a good start, honestly, and the car is working beautifully, so i have no complaints there. it all just comes down to me, really," he said, grabbing his water bottle.

"that's good to here. do you think you'll be able to win tomorrow?"

"that's- uh, that's hard to say. i mean, we've got competition from both ferraris, and then there's max and george, who are also excellent drivers, so its hard to say. our goal for today was a pole, and our goal for tomorrow is a podium, if not a win,"

"right. and, who do we have with you as a support for the first race of the season?" the interviewer took a lighter tone, and lando immediately smiled.

"i've got my family here, a few of my friends who could come down here, and i've got my girlfriend," he responded.

"that's beauti-"

"no, wait. my wife. my girlfriend. no, my wife, my wife. i've been so used to calling her my girlfriend in public and my wife in my head that i keep getting them mixed up," lando laughed, holding his left hand up where his wedding ring glimmered.

"oh yes! you got married at the start of this year!"

"yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. finally married her, and then got her to sign the license. burned it the next day so there's no way she can divorce me now. we're stuck together for life," lando said, making the interviewer laugh.

"it's a beautiful wedding band," the interviewer complimented.

lando put his hand up again, showing the ring to the camera, "right? she picked it. she has amazing taste in stuff like this, i can't even tell you. she's just perfect, man,"

"alright, well, it's nice to see you in such good spirits! crush it tomorrow, yeah?" the interviewer said.

"for her? anything," lando said, scoffing, as if the mere thought of him not doing anything for his wife was just plain stupid.

the interviewer laughed again, as lando walked away.

𓇼🐚☾☼🦪

honestly, one of my favourite things i've ever written. i hope i've done justice to the prompt, anon! this is my prompt list, so y'all can select a number, give me a driver and i will write it as soon as possible! i also have a google form for a taglist if anyone's interested! you can sent in your requests here :)

taglist: @imlonelydontsendhelp ; @greantii ; @anamiad00msday ; @maketheshadowsfearyou ; @nocturnalherb16 ; @justaf1girl ; @peterholland04