#me in real actual life
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Face reveal
#me in real actual life#like for really real#it’s getting to ponyo season for me#it rains a lot in winter here so it just feels right#definitely in the mood to rewatch it hehe#ponyo movie#ponyo ghibli#ponyo#studio ghibli#ghibli#ghibli film
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Corrupted Ratio for Twitter! Reached 2k followers and he won in a prompt game
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#evil math man is back. your calculus professor#dr ratio#veritas ratio#hsr#honkai star rail#corrupted!ratio#i'm a bit of a sham cause i left out bossven. Had no ideas how to include him or how to make them fight (art conceptually)#real life depiction as a student did not remember one theorem word by word /jjj I actually really love math they could never make me hate u#ratio hsr#fanart#art#illustration#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art
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Blarmy!
#dimension 20#fantasy high#d20#fhjy#d20 fhjy#fig faeth#gorgug thistlespring#adaine o'shaughnessey#fabian seacaster#kristen applebees#k2#british kristen#heaven gained a real one today ….#the blimey intervention actually made me scream it was … it was crazy#the stuff of legend#also had to draw the party people ❤️#and gorgugs little comment#ive seen a couple of posts about it btw i see it more as a look how far weve come#like remember when we died to the corn cuties? well now were in the sky about to die from a bunch of fucking dragons attacking us#isnt life so funny
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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assistant/companion DCA for my dr who au <3 the colors here are placeholder cause it's 1am and i need to sleep i also have a "Doctor" AKA Y/N design if you're curious! i think my fave thing to do is making slight differences between my different DCA aus (nervously eyeing the 10+ others)
#pingdoobles#dca fandom#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf dca#sundrop#moondrop#fnaf moon#fnaf sun#dca au#dr who au#this is a sign to combine your interests with your hyperfixations actually#phoenix's DCA who au is a big inspo so pls check that out too cause yeah#this came out a lil' ugly to me but tbh im fighting for my life with work + responsibilities so this is my best and im proud of it#ok gn for real
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"online" and "irl" are a false dichotomy, the online is very real the opposite of which is the offline, which is also very real . there's supposed to be a punchline here to make this a joke but i forgot it by the time i wrote the first sentence
#my sleeping pills are starting to work and.making me stupid and forgetful#also this is an actual take as well#the online world is real life
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A day out together 🧡🍁🍂
Shout out to all the rankane yuri fics I've been reading the past two weeks where they'd just go on a date in at least one chapter because it's all my brain cares about right now lol 🫶🏼
#actually i already started sketching this just after my previous post#but real life took so much of my time that i barely had around 10-30 minutes every other day to sit down and work on anything art-related#that it took me two weeks to finish this 😭#but at least it gave me more time to decide which outfits I'm gonna draw them in#ranma 1/2#ranma remake#ranma ½#ranma saotome#akane tendo#ranma x akane#rankane#my art#art#digital art#my illustration
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Average university experience
#based on real life events#don't do this btw it has horrible long lasting consequences.#finals may be killing you but keep that routine up and they /might actually/ end you#last year I had the idea of a uni au which stayed as various notes. drawings and a few drafts#well I have finally started to work on it recently to flesh it out better#I'm planning to stick to the plan of it being a fun thingy to have. mostly just to put them in Uni Situations yk yk#it's the ultimate projection au for a myriad of reasons. putting vash in my major and ww in one of my most dreaded classes but actually mak#him enjoy it will be therapeutic to me in soooo many ways. loved the class. fuck the teacher tho. ww won't go through the same#however he will be cursed with Knives so wtv#trigun#vash the stampede#trigun stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#vashwood#trigun fanart#vash#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#lenssi draws#Trigun Uni! AU
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come on carolina have fun carolina
#cal draws#cal doodles#rvb#rvb fanart#agent carolina#carolina rvb#and. a little bit of yorklina if you squint real hard#[rvb spoilers] if i was vying for my father's approval via rising through the ranks via his illegal military project#AND then was suddenly outshone by a woman who was actually a shadow memory of my dead mom that he attempted to bring back to life#let's just say you'd see me on the news.
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simp
#I HATE COLORING I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE#my friends bought me an Apple Pencil and omgggg I’ve never had pressure before in my life#this changes everything#I can actually put my hand down on my iPad to doodle??#I’ve gotten so used to hovering my hand like what is going on#anyways 15!chuuya is actually amazing#I’ve made a recent discovery that I’m a lot similar to Dazai than I thought and idk how I feel about that cause he’s such a brat#ive gotten to the point that I’d actually talk to him on those character ai’s and it’s actually so embarrassing like it’s nothing#like the actual bsd dazai but I’d actually rather talk to a robot than a real person about my problems#I like kids being kids so I’m always down to draw 15!skk#chuuya nakahara#dazai Osamu#bsd#bungou stray dogs#skk#soukoku#myart#I’m gonna post and pass out now
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[grian voice] not too fond of gay people
#.jpg#real life smp#rlsmp#smallishbeans#jimmy solidarity#grian#smallidarity#trafficshipping#fanart#look at me actually remembering to tag shipping#i haven’t drawn grian in so long i forgot wtf i was doing with his hair
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Sae Niijima is such a good character it drives me insane a little. She's not a mother nor a maternal or doting older sister but instead a twenty four year old who was thrown into a position of responsibility that she never asked for. She loves Makoto just as much as she resents her and its so apparent every time they talk up until November. "Are you studying?" (I want you to do well) (I need you to get a job and stop making my life harder) "I'll use any method necessary to get this promotion" (Life will be easier for us) (So stop distracting me with your problems) "Focus on your future" (I know that you're capable) (I can't afford to waste my time on you, so stop wasting time on others)
Makoto is not only the sole reason she pushes as hard as she does for a promotion, for success, and the reason that she loses herself in her animosity over her fathers death, but also someone she can't stand for so long. Makoto was 14-15 when their father died. Sae was 21. As soon as she got the career she wanted and things started to look up, her stability was robbed from her and she was disillusioned with the system that her father had taught her to rely on and completely adhere to. How do you manage, the daughter of a cop, following his footsteps towards law enforcement, when you're suddenly reminded of how unfair it is? You can't quit, your little sister relies on you and she's so young and struggling just as badly with this grief. So you pick yourself up and you get moving again. You push harder, press further. You abandon your morals and your ethics because punishing criminals (guilty or not) is almost like punishing the man who killed your father.
And the whole time she's fighting for promotions, going for drinks with the SIU Director to make herself more favourable for promotions, trying to navigate being a woman in a competitive, suffocating, male-dominated field, falling behind despite doing so much where others are promoted for doing so little - all the while your little sister comes back from school and her biggest issues are so small compared to yours.
Persona 5 revolves so heavily around grief and loss and change and Sae embodies all of that so well, all of the sharp and unpleasant and jagged parts of grief.
#sae niijima#persona brainrot real#idk what possessed me for this i jsut love her#beyond her being rlly hot and such a driven and compelling character#the way that we see her on screen is so heavily shaped and influenced by grief that its almost crushing when you notice it#she focuses on work because if she falls behind it could cost her and her sister everything#yet she lives in her fathers house. works a job her father would be proud of. is praised through her proximity to her father.#her sister idolises her and relies on her like a parent. sae was never supposed to be that to her#how am i meant to be your mother and your father? how am i meant to be the source of stability in your life when im not stable in mine#and the whole time your little sister sits there and where shes actually putting on a brave face and forcing through her own grief#struggling to put a life without her father into perspective#to you she just looks ... complacent. willfully ignorant to the situation that you're both in and the struggles you're both facing#why WOULDNT you hate her?#and then you realise that shes not ignorant. shes not as stupid or as oblivious as you thought#every time she was being distracting and asking pointless questions she was just reaching out to you#and each time you had to push her hand away and tell her not now. focus. study.#they drive me insane actually#persona 5#p5r#persona 5 royal#makoto niijima
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simon riley, ang panget mo talaga (affectionate)
#why is writing captions in filo so liberating LMAO#but srsly like when i look at ghost?? he looks very....... ??????????#like even when i look at his actual game model (esp the MW3 ones).. he doesn't look too menacing to me#sir you look like a weeb??#BUT MAYBE THAT'S WHAT HE'S GOING FOR? IF SO THEN IM SORRY??#sometimes when i really think about it.. if i saw a guy with a mask like his in real life? i would NOT take him seriously#personally!!!!! he looks the “scariest” in his jawbone skin from MW2019 LOL the rest are mid.........#my art#2024#call of duty#call of duty: modern warfare#call of duty: modern warfare ii#call of duty: modern warfare iii#cod#cod mw#cod mwii#cod mwiii#modern warfare#mw#mw2#mw3#simon riley#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#ghost#art#fanart#digital art#digital drawing#sketch
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yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."
i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.
the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.
mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.
later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.
sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.
but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.
i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.
every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.
wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?
the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:
he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.
every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.
mahler's fifth still makes me sick.
give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.
give me back what you took from me.
#nosebleed club#sorry stephen not ur fault#just like. thinking#writeblr#spilled ink#warm up#every time nat is like - oh let me get that for u#im like .... this is a trick right like ur gonna be mean now bc u did something nice rn#so obviously if ur being nice now either u did something mean and im about to learn about it#or you're going to BE mean#or ur gonna hold this over my head forever and i'll never get a nice thing ever again?#and every time nat is like .... babe i just actually like u#lesbian jesus story is 100% real btw. she also told me not to be an event planner#literally changed the shape of my life
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based on the Billstill au by @jellynut! You guys should totally go check it out, it's so cool and angsty and somehow my monkey brain took that idea and made it Stan tormenting Bill forevermore. (This has spiraled rapidly not its own au of an au based on an earlier idea I had once) (might draw more of this au and that one who knows)
This has been going on for at least 15 hours straight, and Stan is having the time of his goddamn life watching Bill suffer
And then Bill gave Stan horrendous night terrors
And then Stan bought a giant bag of nachos and ground them up into crumbs and dumped them in the sea or some shit
Transcript and full image under cut
Bill, floating intangibly: You're a loser, Mac
Stan, looking up from his magazine: Yeah? And you're an interdimensional demon dumb enough to die in my head. You're the biggest idiot I know, and I know me
#They're so funny to me#Bill is trying so hard to break Stan and yeah the nightmares suck and stan is definitely scarred for life#But for the most part... to me at least#The Bill still au is about Stan repeatedly wrecking Bill's shit and tormenting him and having the time of his life#Bill is the real captive audience actually#They're stuck with Each Other <3 and they hate each other and it's so funny guys trust#Headcanon that Bills insults wouldn't work on stan and would actually improve his self esteem#Because Bill can't day anything Stan hasn't said about himself#And hearing this massive loser call him pathetic has to be so funny and also invalidate the negative self outlook#Like hell is he gonna agree with BILL of all people#Ford is extremely confused about Stan's sudden Nacho buying spree but then sees Stan throw them in the Sea while shouting profanities#Ofc he joins in#stanley pines#bill cipher#billstillau#I have too many thoughts about this sorry guys 😭😭#gravity falls#gravity falls au#sea grunks#stan pines#my art
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GARGOYLES : ↳ Types of Soulmates
#gargoyles#goliath gargoyles#goliath#elisa maza#hudson gargoyles#hudson#jeffrey robbins#lexington gargoyles#lexington#brooklyn gargoyles#brooklyn#broadway gargoyles#broadway#david xanatos#fox xanatos#macbeth mac findlaech#macbeth gargoyles#demona gargoyles#demona#this has been sitting half finished in my drafts for so long ffff#also real talk demona & macbeth would actually be karmic soulmates#but I started calling them ''soulmates (derogatory)'' a while back and cannot stop#karmic soulmates are basically ''people who come in your life to teach you or provide you something'' and aren't inherently positive#which i definitely think suits their relationship.#additionally ''twin flame'' soulmates are basically souls that are two halves of one whole#the whole idea of ''you complete me''
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