#me going on another tangent
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eddith · 4 months ago
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How it pains my heart when people talk about the Straw Hats disbanding and "settling down" after achieving their own personal dreams and finding the One Piece.
Like, what do yall mean?? Are we watching/reading the same story??
The strawhats are together because this is their family.
The Thousand Sunny is their Home!
Robin has spent most of her life alone why would she “settle down” away from her family??
This sea is so vast, if im not mistaken, the one piece earth is 6x times bigger than ours, just the strech of land of the grand line is enormous and people keep talking about the crew “settling down” when we have SO MUCH to explore yet? like, don’t piss me off.
There is so much land, so many cultures and stories to explore in this vast world.
When we see other crews like the Roger pirates, the ONLY reason they disbanded was because Roger was fucking sick.
And it’s the SAME thing that happened with the Whitbeard pirates, they literally grew older together, traveling, exploring for their WHOLE lives ultil their captain was killed.
Like, are we not seeing the pattern here?
(And fair enough, if you think Luffy is going to die at the end of the story, you might as well think about the crew being separated.
But ever since Gear 5, it feels like Oda has created this character in Luffy where he can do absolutely whatever he wants, so I think it would be appropriate for Luffy to just decide he's not going to die, lol.)
But it genuinely pisses me off when people talk about Robin and Nami going away when like…
Sure Nami has her family, Robin has the revolutionary army, even Chopper has the sakura country, Sanji has the baratie and Franky has his family
Yes, they do indeed all have family ties outside of the crew.
But that doesnt mean that the crew is less of a family to them, they chose this, to be each other “Nakama” to be in this journey together.
One piece doesnt feel like the type of story that just “ends” after we accomplishes our dreams, with everyone separating and living “normal lives”.
It's not just about Sanji finding the all blue, he has to explore new fish, cook for his family, like, it's the start of something bigger, you know? And i can say that for any Straw Hat.
To me the end of one piece feels like “What will life be like after we accomplish our dreams?”
Pirate king is not a tittle that you gain and then that’s it, you know?
You need to LIVE as the freest man in the World.
Roger lived a life of piracy, and at the end of his journey he was named King of the Pirates.
But for fucks sake, Luffy has the power of the Sun God.
(Is it really that crazy to think that because of this ancient power he awakened, he might not be affected by all the times he shortened his life expectancy to protect people?)
It just doesn't feel like a story where the hero gives up his life to save others at the end.
It feels like the kind of story where you always fight with every ounce of strength in your being to live as hard as you can.
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trans-axolotl · 4 months ago
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my gendered experience growing up as an intersex person was overwhelmingly defined by my responses and resistance to everything that got me labeled as a failure: failure to quickly get a gender assigned at birth, failure to go through a normal puberty and grow up into a woman, failure at meeting the standards for "complete womanhood" because of my intersex sex traits, and yet simultaneously failing to ever be acknowledged as a "real man" and being treated as a threat when I expressed I wanted to transition.
before i realized i was a man and came out as trans, the ways that girlhood was denied to me was very often humiliating and painful. locker rooms filled with other girls were a frequent source of shame. there were many big and small ways that i was told that my intersex body made me insufficient, incomplete, broken. i was forced onto estrogen, forced into shaving my body hair, and was constantly being told to change myself to better fit this mystical idea of a "normal woman." and even though I ultimately ended up becoming a man, the denial of girlhood was painful.
but i think that these things would have been even more difficult to navigate as an intersex girl if on top of everything I already said, i was having to cope with the denial of my girlhood while i was forced into boys locker rooms. if my doctors were forcing me onto testosterone hrt and refusing to even discuss estrogen, if all my legal paperwork had "M" on it and was a logistical nightmare to change, if every support group for my intersex variation labeled it as a "men's support group," if the LGBTQ community spaces i tried to join were misogynistic towards me often to the point of exile, if my self determination as an intersex girl was denied in most spaces of my life, and on and on and on. while listing all these things out i also don't want to make it seem like it's all about suffering and pain--so much of transition for me has been about joy in my self determination and how much it feels like a reclamation of autonomy to decide what I want my body and self to be like--i know this is an experience i share with so many of my trans intersex friends.
as an person who was AFAB, although there were many ways that trying to grow up as an intersex girl were a painful, logistical nightmare, many times and places that i was excluded from woman's spaces, etc. however, there was a simultaneous affirmation that i was right to strive for that in the first place. which is logic rooted in some fucked up compulsory dyadism, but also which would have made some things slightly easier or even possible at all if i had wanted to embrace being an intersex girl within this fucked up system.
pretty much every time i've seen people on tumblr talking about "afab transfems" in an intersex context, people seem happy to collapse these experiences and act like there's no meaningful distinction or point in distinguishing between different types of intersex embodiment. it seems incredibly extractive, to be perfectly honest with you--taking terms already used by a community to make meaning of their experiences and to expand and dilute that term enough that it means something pretty different than the original.
it's making me think about the concept of epistemic injustice, which is a term coined by Miranda Fricker to describe oppression related to knowledge, communication, and making meaning of the world. There's two subtypes of epistemic injustice: testimonial injustice and hermeneutical injustice. Testimonial injustice refers to the dynamic where marginalized people are labeled as not credible, excluded from conversations, and their testimony and knowledge is labeled as unreliable, even when they're the ones who are experts and have first hand experience of what people are talking about. (this is why i probably won't make this post rebloggable--i've noticed this pattern on tumblr many times where trans men speaking about transmisogyny get lots of notes and are given a lot of grace, where trans women are silenced, attacked for not having perfect wording, and otherwise delegitimized.)
the second type is called hermeneutical injustice. it describes how marginalized people are denied the right to make sense of the experiences in their own lives. this can look like preventing people from building community, terminology, a political understanding of themselves, and the interpretive resources needed to process how you live in the world.
this is a form of injustice that I think almost all intersex people are very familiar with--we are denied community and interpretive resources to the point that we're told we don't even exist, that intersex isn't a real word, and so many more examples that leave us isolated and with very few options for understanding what we're collectively experiencing. as an intersex person i really intimately understand how frustrating, confusing, and painful it is to not have words for your experiences, your identity, your life.
so it makes me really sad and pissed off when it seems like intersex people seem to be replicating this exact same type of epistemic injustice towards transfems and specifically towards intersex transfems. pretty much every time recently i see people talking about "afab transfems" they're doing so in a way that seems to deny that trans women even have the right to make sense of their own experiences in the world. there seems to be this mindset that these political frameworks, these interpretive resources that transfems have built up are just up for grabs for anyone. and then on top of that has come with it a lot of cruel, hateful language and direct attacks towards many intersex transfems who are facing so much harassment right now.
an important value to me is this idea of reciprocity as a foundation for solidarity. to me reciprocity means that we're prioritizing the ways we care for each other, we're thinking about how we can uplift each other, and we're watching out for extractive or exploitative patterns where one group is constantly expected to be in "solidarity" with another group without getting the same respect and care back toward them. i think that there could be so many ways that intersex people of all genders could share our overlapping experiences and actually be in true, meaningful solidarity with each other, but i barely ever actually see that happen on tumblr. and that pisses me off, because i do think that there's so much we have in common that we could celebrate and support each other with. i feel so much kinship with so, so many of my trans intersex friends, and ways where i see our lives converge. but i don't think that can happen in an environment where there's no acknowledgment of the ways that our experiences will sometimes (often) differ from each other, and the ways that we have unique needs.
another frustration i've had based on this most recent couple months of transmisogynistic intersex posting on tumblr is how intersex people have been mostly ignoring intersex community resources and devaluing the existing intersex terminology that people created to try to meet our needs. so much of what i've seen people describing on tumblr seems to really line up with the term ipsogender. Ipsogender is a term coined by an intersex sociologist Cary Gabriel Costello, and is used to describe intersex people whose gender matches the gender they were medically assigned at birth, but who might not feel like cis or trans fits them, might experience dysphoria, and who might feel like they've ended up transitioning medically or socially in some ways. this is a word that exists that an intersex person put time into coining because they wanted other intersex people to feel seen, embraced, and have ways of understanding themselves and communicating to others, and that's something that's super meaningful to me! and yet, i've rarely seen anyone reference it, and also seen multiple people making fun of it in other spaces online.
there's also intergender, which is another intersex specific gender term used to describe when your gender is inseparable from your intersex traits, and that your intersex identity is intertwined with your gender identity in some way. some people just identify as intergender, others use it as an adjective and exist as an intergender man or woman. intersex terminology like this is really important to me, especially because we're so often denied the right to make sense of our own experiences.
i think ultimately what i wanted to say with this post is just that when i think about intersex community, some of the most important values of intersex community for me are solidarity, care for each other, and affirming our right to define our own existence. and i don't think that can happen in a community where people are acting in extractive ways, harassing and attacking their fellow community members, and being dismissive of the realities of other intersex people's lives.
#personal#actuallyintersex#intersex#actually intersex#transmisogyny tw#this post is not going to be rebloggable for now but if any intersex mutuals want to reblog it i might turn reblogs on#this just feels like an intersex conversation in a way i would prefer not to do with an audience of spectators.#also a tangent: i do understand that agab is not a body descriptor. i think that agabs are a form of curative violence perpetuated onto us#this is something i've been consistent about expressing for years. if you go back to old posts you'll see that there's many times i've said#over the years that agab is messy. that i know people who were assigned one gender at birth and another gender as a toddler#who identify as cis and trans and a million other things. i understand that and im not interested in denying their existence#so. don't take this as a universal statement from me about every single instance of “amab transman” or “afab transfem.” but rather in the#context of the current dynamic i'm seeing on tumblr of widespread transmisogynistic harassment#that i think much of the way people are talking about this is exploitative and harmful#also i've made many posts before talking about how like. many things would change and become intelligble in a less compulsorly dyadic world#but we aren't there yet. and so there are many terms that are still meaningful and relevant for us right now#and as always: i am one intersex person with one perspective i like to hear from other intersex people including intersex people#who think differently from me
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a-very-sparkly-nerd · 6 months ago
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I want to say that Callum undoubtedly thinks Rayla is so freaking cool, but that isn't all. He makes it clear that he thinks she's awesome without disregarding any of her other traits. Not once when she puts herself down has he said "But you're ___" (at least that I remember, with the exception of Midnight Desert, which I could argue fits the rule if I wanted to) and that is EXACTLY what Rayla needs because she's never been the cool kid- she's a prodigy, but not cool (the girl Naruto runs and prefers being alone and/or training to hanging out with other kids, for gods' sake). But she's also never been cared for the way Callum does. He also (probably) knows that only results were cared about for Moonshadow elves, never merely efforts, and he always makes sure to compliment her on not only those, but everything because he doesn't just want to make her feel good, he likes making her smile and reminding her that she's so important. He surpasses needs she didn't know she had.
And Callum would expectedly be told he's awesome at stuff, being a prince and people wanting to gain favor (Soren is the exception. Shoutout to my baby boy), but Rayla has never lied to him about what she thinks of him. She's down to earth and she doesn't build him up to be things he's not, instead making him feel as amazing as he deserves about the things he is good at. And her desire to care for him and protect him doesn't come from a sense of duty the way it does from, say, the Crownguard, but from love that Callum never really got because he was always the one protecting Ezran, was distant with Harrow, and doesn't really remember Sarai. Rayla doesn't care about what he lacks, which is what everyone else seemed to care about. Everything she does for him is fueled by love, never duty.
Just- GODS, they're so perfect for each other WHILE simultaneously learning and growing and giving each other grace and I LOVE THEM OKAY-
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lovesickeros · 8 months ago
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lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...
it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy
also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]
gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.
anyway.
there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.
imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.
a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.
the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?
but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.
#asks#Anonymous#sagau#tsaritsa#like. am i explaining this coherently?? first meetings r GOOD and i could go on a tangent of like. first meetings w zl and make it work#but first meetings w the tsaritsa is like. you just cooked a 5 course meal. took one bite. called it a day.#so much of my characterization lies in the “after” of the first meeting#because her first meetings are generally the same. she's apathetic at best!! she does not gaf abt the creator in the SLIGHTEST#but show that you are more then the creator? that you do not cling to the title like a shield? that you do not rely on it?#youve got the worst person youve ever known ready to kill a man for you.#tsaritsa is very like. EXTREMELY hard to earn the trust of but when you do she will kill someone for you no hesitation no question#which is why she works SO WELL in villain au and imposter au!!!!!!!!!#esp if theres a fake “creator” calling you the imposter. she hates their ass and was .5 seconds from dethroning them anyway#you just made it 10x easier#also cant do just first meetings bc i am incapable of not shoving themes of love into every fic w her SORRY#tsaritsa going on a full multiple month long mental breakdown bc she is not in love with you but she would destroy everything for u..#(shes in denial)#tsaritsa and complex themes of love and what it means for the god of love to be incapable of feeling it + what it means when reader shows u#LIKE UGHHHHHH okay. i guess ill write another tsaritsa fic and put it in my vault#aka my drafts#i hold so many fics hostage there its crazy#this answered like 0 of ur questions sorry i see tsaritsa and black out and this happens#i just think first meetings dont let her character really come thru but my response got out of hand so uhhhhh everyone look away. please#putting tape over my mouth now so i shut up before this gets worse#basically tsaritsa gravitates more towards outcast reader rather then one who has already become accustomed to the adoration of the acolyte#does that make sense........#i havent slept in forever and im running on nothing but spite and dreams atp dont expect coherency when it comes 2 the tsaritsa from me#head in hands someone please stop me i keep rambling abt the tsaritsa it makes me go NUTS#lays down. explodes
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phantomsies · 2 months ago
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literacy, empathy and nuance are dead fucking arts and there really is no coming back from it.
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a-literal-toaster-wtf · 10 months ago
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anyone ever think about how collectively the aces ultimate goal is to die because . boy do i
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muninnhuginn · 8 months ago
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Writers tag game
Prompt: share some writing
Thanks for the tag, @miyamiwu!
So, I'll be honest, I don't actually have any WIPs I'm intending to do anything with, but I have some oldish abandoned stuff I managed to relocate. It's back from 2021 so in my Untamed era and this bit was specifically set during Fatal Journey*:
Nie Huaisang woke blearily, cold seeping into his clothes from the floor. It was dark and it took several seconds to remember where he was. He could hear the muffled sounds of clanging and voices. As he lifted his head off the ground, they slowly resolved themselves into the clash of swords and yelling. [...] He didn't know what to do. What would his brother do? Xichen-ge? San-ge? He had his flute with him– he could try Cleansing. This was what it was for, right? Before he could doubt himself further, he started playing, pouring all the qi he could muster into the tune. He'd practised for hours the night before, long after San-ge had left, but despite that, he hadn't truly thought then that he'd need to play so soon. Was that so naïve of him? As he watched, Da-ge began to slow in his movements and Nie Huaisang felt himself start to relax. He kept his lips to the flute, trying not to let his relief fool him into making mistakes. Still, he knew he only had to play a little longer and then they could all escape. Him, his brother, his cousin. They could flee far away from the darkness that haunted these halls. And then Nie Zonghui's head hit the floor. He stopped playing.
And then I had this other bit:
He'd messed up. He must have played a wrong note. Maybe he'd misremembered the entire thing? And now Nie Zonghui was dead and his brother - what looked like his brother - was stood, Baxia dripping blood to the floor. [...] The sword was pointed at him. He tried to hold himself steady as he looked down the blade. Tried to blink away the tears that kept escaping without his permission. He could tell he was failing, unable to stop the trembling, but he forced himself to meet the eyes at the other end of the sword. He couldn't die here. He refused to die here. After all, he was the only family his brother had left.
*(it was meant to be part of a short time travel fic where post-canon characters went back not long before NMJ died. It would've had flashbacks to Fatal Journey interspersed with the "present" up until the point at which future NHS tipped off past NHS about the poisoned music. I actually got as far as figuring out where I wanted all the characters to be at the end of it, but I ran out of motivation pretty quickly so there's only this WIP stuff and the intro part written in the end.)
Ahh not sure who to tag when it comes to writing stuff. I know @roseofcards90 and @floofiestboy write some stuff? And anyone else who sees this who writes, feel free to consider yourself tagged ^^
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lesbiansanemi · 17 days ago
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Officially deciding I shall not be going to work tomorrow because of the snowstorm so…. Yay? Extra day off?
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popponn · 10 months ago
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i'm this close to opening discussion whether (is it possible that) kaiser is a playboy or not
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steeltwigz · 1 month ago
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Saw a post abt the Sonic movies that was like "plz filter negativity posts better" which is GOOD AND TRUE you should be doing that. Ok. But then they kept going to imply that the criticisms of the Sonic movies are all entirely Personal and Ignorable and not like. Usually abt the horrific copaganda, misogynistic writing, and Paramount's disgusting zionism.... Guys a lot of ppls problem w the Knuckles show wasn't JUST a bastardization of Knuckles' character or thinking Wade was annoying or whatever, but like was focused on the grotesque Zionist message from that one episode 😭😭😭 you can enjoy something and still recognize that it has intrinsic and huge glaring flaws and talk abt them. I think actually you Should be speaking up abt the misogyny, zionism and propaganda the SCU supports and discusses, ESPECIALLY if you like the movies! Its important to be able to recognize these things in media and admit that even media you personally enjoy can be deeply problematic, instead of hiding it away and pretending those HUGE FLAWS aren't issues actually....
#scu neg#sonic movie negative#do you guys even have a specific single tag? genuine question#scu negative#like bro you just had to say 'plz tag negativity posts better :(' you didnt have to go on a tangent abt how sonic wachowski is a perfect#little angel ...#and writing off criticism abt the movie as 'personal issues' is also just. Mean. undermining ppls genuine investment in the characters#shadow means a lot to me. his storyline js extremely powerful. ofc im disappointed they fucked it up. thats personal but it has real world#consequence. taking a character whos entire plotline is driven by an anti-militant message and who is a genuine and powerful representative#of PTSD in media and making him. Whatever He Is Now is Bad Actually. even if you think thats just a personal take it still has Real Effects#and i dont expect the scu to be a masterpiece of art. i take sonic seriously but i understand that im maybe an Exception and also that#perceptions of characters change between literally Everyone. but i think its still fine to say that i dont trust the writers to tell the#story they want to tell. they very clearly Dont understand what made adventure-era sonic so powerful in the first place and thats a valid#take even if it is 'just a personal opinion'#ok sorry for getting heated. as a board-certified PTSD haver shadow the hedgehog is important to me its like i imprinted on him as a child#like. i dont think its a stretch to assume that theyre probably going to make shadow Dull and Lame compared to his old storylines. gerald i#already so fucked up that i honestly have lost all hope this movie will have good writing. and i can Expect good writing becuz this project#is from a huge corporation that can Afford good talent and Chose to do their movies this way instead#and they were like 'you guys cant b mad that the character you like didnt show up!' when the criticism for THAT is that the scu is doing#EVERYTHING in its power to AVOID adding new and substantial female roles to the cast. rouge not being there is a larger issue besides just#Missing Her. we have 3 reoccurring women/girl characters. out of a cast of roughly 13 main characters. cant you see how disgusting that is.#i think its 13 anyway hang on. im counting wade tom sonic tails knuckles shadow eggman gerald those two gun guys. yeah#'but theyre adding another woman character!' yeah.... and shes another military official..... when we coulda had Rouge the Bat???#thats not the win you think it is.........#ig theres sonics owl mom too genuinely forgot abt her tbh#she exists only to b a mom and die tho so she isnt rlly That Great as a woman character either#and maddie exists only to b Sonics Mom and rachel only exists to be the Funny Aunt and jojo only exists to be The Girl Cousin so......#SORRY ESSAY SORRY i feel very passionately abt sonic!!!! especially in this case!!!!!!!#ok well ig maria is there too but shes also just. Uhm. Ok. Look. i love maria robotnik. but she is a Plot Device not a character. sorry#wades family dont count either becuz. well. they suck NO NO NO JUST KIDDING
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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puffer party inspo'd by the fact i've had this fic rotating in my head for the past week
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squuote · 1 year ago
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im a stanarrator liker. im a stanarrator hater. im best of both worlds while also your worst indecisive nightmare. those two got the queer tension but it sure ain’t palatable romance I’ll tell you that much.
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savage-rhi · 5 months ago
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*insert pink color here*
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a-shakespearean-in-paris · 2 days ago
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Listening to a romance novel right now that I do like, but everyone has been to therapy and speaks in therapy speak and that’s great but it made me realize my idea of wish fulfillment and escapism is big emotions and dramatics and people that make bold and sometimes unreasonable choices and melodrama and where IS IT
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averlym · 2 years ago
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"oh my soul, is it here? or is it rotting somewhere with my head?"
#rtc#rtc musical#ballad of jane doe#? i think those are the tags? got into rtc over the december break and like. headless blorbos ig#it's oddly similar to six in the sense that six dead people have a concert competition with varying contexts#considering my prev obsession with cats the musical maybe there is a common trend here#hm. anyways!! found the ballad of jane doe online and spooked myself watching it at 3am and in hope to combat the terror (i am not good with#the horror genre. i'm fantastically awful i Will Cry) i went to watch like. the chaos compilations and read ao3 fics to yknow. make it less#scary. so like! yes?? rtc is a good musical. the greatest of my brainrot for it is over but it is really quite fun nonetheless. i may have#added another slime tutorial to my collection.#in terms of current brainrot. i am. a bit (read: maybe a Lot) thinking too much about dovesso. ??why is lesso so attractive in the movie??#truly it is a specific mood when it's like. this character is so?? so akshdhdjsj but also clearly they belong in otps with other characters.#idk how to describe it lmao! anyway the school of good and evil movie (i just watched it) came and called me a useless gay in multiple fonts#as one of my irl friends likes to say. women✨✨#mkay this shall end the tag ramble. thank you for enjoying the last khoward post we're back to just doodles now#(but seriously thank you i look into the tags and just go 'hehehe' :>>>>> it's nice)#along with miscellaneous not six musicals i might be going back into a firebringer tangent?? idk the plot bunnies are varied and plenty
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poor-ciceros-voring-again · 4 months ago
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I really need some gravity falls friends I think :(
#idk im feeling annoying about talking to non gf friends about it again.#i just said a lot of stuff about stan and his memory loss in multiple discord servers im in today and nobody really. interacted with it in#any of them so i kinda feel stupid for wanting to talk about it ?#any time i feel like this i KNOW its because of how my ex treated me regarding it (can elaborate if asked) and its been hard to...#deal with on my own really.#ive been going through old gf content and such that ive forgotten about in the like? 6 or 7 years i kinda strayed away from it#BECAUSE of that one ex i mentioned#i tend to get on little tangents and talk a LOT about specific gravity falls things for paragraphs accidentally and... nobody who isnt into#the show rn like me isnt gonna like. read that. and respond to it.#i guess i need. conversation? instead of feeling like im talking AT people who just arent as interested as i am.#i think something that really got me down about how much i typed put earlier today is that in one server someone completely changed the#subject about it and the topic got changed without much interaction or discussion at all and in another it was kinda completely ignored#nobody talked over it or anything but nobody has said anything about it at all either. that channel has just kinda been dead and silent#since i stopped sending messages in it. its just#sad? i guess? disheartening.#to be super enthusiastic about something and just not have that enthusiasm met by anyone else. or even like. vaguely hyped up by anyone else
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