#me feel bad and me need to vent

[tufoupiloupary]

went to the school library an hour away cause i couldn't work at home then started feeling icky as soon as i got there..... like short of breath and nauseous and super tingly face, ears ringing and shit which. idk if i'm actually experiencing something out of the ordinary or if it's just my brain focusing too hard on things that are always there to some degree

[wis-art]

I argued with some random asshole on the internet a while ago and I noticed I made them feel really bad with my anger, I decided to at least get them some groceries as a apology gift because I know they struggling too, few days ago I went over to talk about the situation while calm and to properly apologize, made sure to let the person know that they don't gotta talk to me that it's ok if they don't want anything to do with me, they agreed and added me to a group chat with their girlfriend and then proceeded to berate me for the next 4 hours straight taking turns to call me names 😭 and I'll tell you what. To be called creepy and obsessed for sending the money and get berated for that too??? Like I know $50 isn't like a huge amount nowadays but it was half of all the money in my bank account at the time. And it was a tough decision to make because I am already struggling to pay rent and because I'm too disabled to work. I snapped out of it immediately, like wow no wonder I got mad at them in the first place.

The moral of the story is, don't try to fix things with the worst people you have ever met, your gut feeling was right, there's a reason why you got angry. It will only harm you and make you harm them, too, when you eventually get emotional and pissed off over how they treated you and then use it against you. Whatever you do won't be enough and taken as the worst possible thing to do. Simply fuck off. That's the best outcome for everyone that will hurt the least amount of people.

[softhe4rted]

on loneliness jenny slate / japanese breakfast, posing for cars / corinne von lebusa, big glow / dadushin / alejandra pizarnik, tr. me / fka twings, home with you / avocado_ibuprofen / fiona apple, left alone / anne carson, “the anthropology of water”, plainwater / kiki smith, free fall / alejandra pizarnik, diaries

[artsymeeshee]

one of those nights

[piecesofchess]

Tartarus is still a little broken and that's Fun !

[sketchy-tour]

A wilting flower is not always beyond healing. It'll just take time.

[genericpuff]

vent post

[rosy-crow]

On one hand, I need to calm the fuck down about Sephiroth and stop giving into Twitter to debate lore. I KNOW I’m better than this lmao.

On the other hand, I see people genuinely angry about “how Crisis Core ruined Sephiroth by killing part of his agency through Genesis,” and “how having friends made him less cool,” and “how all the Compilation is humanizing him too much and taking away his mystery,” and “how he went evil for no reason,” and “how he was always an asshole that saw himself as superior to others and only broke down because he found out he wasn’t all that.”

I see unironic worship of “canon” traits he has that apparently mark him as a perverted alpha daddy dom sex god instead of the actual raging, delusional murderer with a loathing for all life he becomes for a reeeeeeeally key and important reason.

I see remarks like “I hate how First Soldier is ruining my favorite character and taking away more of his agency,” when said “favorite character” is Sephiroth’s most surface-level traits as a villain with no further depth and he has to be cool and perfect 100% of the time or else he isn’t Sephiroth anymore and he’s suddenly “badly written.”

That’s not the same character.

Yes, I know.

Why am I mad that one of the most beautifully designed and canonically objectified and powerfully portrayed and sensually voiced and thirstily fawned over characters in video game history is being reduced to singular traits???

I don’t know.

How can I demand the luxury of rage when faced with such odds.

What did I expect.

Yeah, this one’s on me.

[borderlinereminders]

Without fail, every time I post a positive post about it being okay to have feelings (anger, sadness, etc), someone always has to comment “yeah but it doesn’t give you the right to treat people poorly because of them.”

No one said it did. And I understand the sentiment but it just rubs me wrong for some reason and I’m not sure why.

I think that even with good intentions, it just rubs me wrong because I’m a BPD blog so maybe it feels like someone is making an assumption even if they’re not intending to?

I don’t know. I don’t want to add a disclaimer to every one of my posts and I’d like to just post positivity without the negativity added because it’s exhausting to read.

Also don’t get me wrong. People have a right to express opinions. I’m just needing to vent because I’m having feelings about it.

[stillgotscars]

.

[cimacally]

I'm not my best friend's best friend and it really pisses me tf off

[kelpermoosee]

Knocking them over and watching them scramble to get up with those big ass heads

[wh0r3zzz]

Why the fuck am I still here.

[seventh-district]

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOO

[eddiediaaz]

contemplating ending it all while doing the dishes (for the 3rd time today because i couldn't do them for like 2 weeks) on a summer saturday night. i'm such a fucking loser i hate living so bad. like what's the fucking point here??? everytime i feel like i'm taking a step forward in life, or simply feeling better mentally, it's actually 5 steps back. there's literally no point of me being alive right now. why am i even here i don't matter

[mysticalcats]

ok fellas this post is really different from my other stuff so i'm putting it under the cut for people who don't care and also because i'm slightly embarrassed

ok so. is it unusual for a girl to want to have a deep voice and a flat chest and a more square face and also feel slightly jealous of men and want to sound like them and look like them

and also is it unusual to want to be all that, but also simultaneously not be very bothered very much by how you look right now or by being referred to with she/her except for sometimes when you think about it too much. because i usually don't think about it except for sometimes where i suddenly just get really sad about being a girl or i'll always have this faint feeling that i am just unhappy about it

and also is it unusual to try to ignore it and go about your life being unbothered by it even though deep down it does kinda bother you but you can't really. like. say anything to anyone because your family won't react well and neither will your friends because they'll think it's weird and uncomfortable. i feel afraid to ever feel this way because i know the people in my life won't react well to it

so like. genuine question please lmk wtf is goin on because i'm unsure if it's normal and i've felt like this for a long time and it's confusing me and i don't even know what i'm going to do with the information once i know i'm just sort of lost LMAO