#my lower back pain is the worst it’s been in weeks

[mashkatzi]

Luigi taking care of you on your period (FLUFF)

a/n - agh sorry this took me so long guyss. This is based on this ask - hope you enjoy anon! <3 Also i was listening to Pink Matter by Frank Ocean on repeat whilst writing this so do with that information as you wish… maybe this is a little self indulgent maybe not. Anyways enjoy my loves x

It’s the second day of your period, always the worst. You’re lying on the floor in your living room, curled up in a foetal position, trying your hardest to make the pain go away. You roll onto your knees and bend forward, resting your head between your thighs, hands planted flat on the floor in front of you. You rack your brain, trying to remember the position that’s supposed to help ease period cramps, according to a women's health article you read months ago. You let out a frustrated huff. Nothing is making the pain subside.

“Still painful?”

Luigi looks down at you from the sofa. His laptop rests on his thighs, illuminating his face. The glasses perched on his nose reflect the screen, displaying some program he’s been working on for the past few weeks.

“Yeeessss,” you draw out.

“Come, let’s cuddle. Maybe it’ll help,” he says, reaching out an arm and placing a comforting hand on your back. He rubs up and down. His hands are big and warm.

One thing about Luigi—he’s always warm. Even when it’s cold, he’s warm. You, on the other hand, always run cold. You love cuddling up to him, soaking in his body heat, nuzzling your head into his chest while his big hands roam over you. Your own personal heater.

The thought of curling into his warm body is inviting, but the thought of actually getting up to move is not. You turn your head to look at him and flash a smile.

“Hm, that would be nice,” you reply.

“Yeah?” Luigi smiles back, shutting his laptop and placing it on the table next to him. He stands up, stepping over your body. You straighten your back, sit up on your knees, and lift your arms toward him—much like a baby wanting to be picked up. He stands in front of you and reaches down, grabbing you under your arms and lifting you effortlessly. You wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. His hands settle on your plush ass, squeezing it through your sweats. You nuzzle into the crook of his neck, and he giggles. His stubble is scratchy against your face.

“Let’s go,” he states.

“Where are we going?” you giggle back, already feeling more relaxed.

I suppose it's true what they say about happy hormones. Some people exercise, others use drugs to experience a rush of endorphins, but for you, happiness is Luigi. He will always be your happy space.

“The bedroom. I promise it’ll be more comfy, baby,” he assures you, carrying you down the hall toward your room.

He opens the door to your shared bedroom, revealing a mess—an unmade bed, sheets disheveled. Luigi tries his best to quickly neaten the sheets with one hand while the other rests on your lower back, supporting you. Once satisfied, he drops both himself and you onto the bed.

His back rests against the headboard as you shift, getting comfortable in his lap, head against his chest, legs bent into yourself. One arm hooks under your knees, the other drapes around your waist. His fingers fiddle with the fabric of your top.

“This okay?” he asks while scanning your face, checking that you’re comfortable. He’s always been able to read you like a book, picking up on the slightest changes in your expression and knowing how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking.

“Perfect,” you reply, nuzzling further into him. You feel his body relax into yours, satisfied that he’s doing his job to help ease your pain.

“You know, this would feel so much better if we were both naked,” he smirks.

You let out a breathy laugh. Surely, he’s joking.

“No, babe, I’m serious. I read this article about skin-to-skin contact and how it helps when you’re in pain or distress.” Luigi starts listing off the reasons why skin-to-skin contact will help alleviate your pain, rambling about hormones and pain receptors. Even though both of his hands are on you, his fingers move in sync with his words. His eyebrows lift and fall, his blinking becomes more intense as he recalls the information.

God, you love this nerdy man.

“—so then your brain sends signals to your pain receptors and—”

Before he can continue, you place a gentle hand over his mouth. He’s brought back down to Earth, and you feel his lips curve into a smile under your palm.

“Okay, doctor. I’ll get naked,” you say with a teasing smile.

Luigi’s cheeks flush red. He always gets shy and embarrassed when he realizes he’s been rambling. You feel slightly guilty for cutting him off, so before you do anything else, you reassure him.

“I love how much you care about me, my love. Really, I do.”

His expression softens upon hearing your words. You place a small kiss on the tip of his nose before climbing off his body. You feel another cramp, the dull ache making you wince. You rest a hand on your stomach as you walk toward the bathroom, aware of Luigi’s eyes trailing after you, watching the way your hips sway.

In the bathroom, you undress but decide to keep your bra and underwear on. You take a quick glance in the mirror. Your hair is a tangled mess, heavy bags hang under your eyes, and hormonal acne peppers your lower jaw. But regardless of how unattractive you might feel, Luigi always looks at you like you’re the most beautiful girl, never failing to shower you with compliments and uplift you when you talk down on yourself. You smile at your reflection, then turn and walk back toward the bedroom.

The bedroom door is open, and you see Luigi standing before the bed in nothing but his boxers, removing his sweater. His sweats are in a pile on the floor, and his glasses are folded neatly on the vanity. You pause at the doorway, leaning against the frame, arms crossed, watching him for a moment.

His body is on full display, his chest and abs look as though they’ve been chiseled into stone. The muscles in his arms flex as he haphazardly throws his sweater onto a chair. He notices you staring at him and smirks, dimples appearing. You feel warmth rush to your face, embarrassed that you've been caught staring.

His lips spread into a wide grin, his dimples appearing. He swells with a sense of pride. Luigi prides himself on his work ethic. He puts his all into whatever he does, and you admire him for that. His body for starters, due to his back pain he was unable to work out for a while, but you watched him through the endless hours of research and trial and error as he found a routine that worked for him. You slowly began to see the changes, the lines appearing on his abs the way his arms began to fill out his shirt sleeves, the way his leg muscles flex as he walks. You always make sure to point out the changes and to shower him with compliments, to make sure that he knows he looks good, even when he thinks he doesn’t. 

“You gonna stand there and stare, or are you going to join me?” Luigi teases, slipping back under the covers.

You push off the frame and walk toward the bed. Luigi lifts a corner of the blanket, inviting you back in. Sliding in, you shuffle all the way under the duvet, leaving only your head poking out. Luigi chuckles, flashing you a boyish grin as he reaches for you under the blanket, gripping your hips and dragging you toward him.

“Come here,” he laughs.

Your almost-naked bodies tangle together as his muscular arms envelop you. His warmth seeps into your skin. You rest your head in the crook of his neck, his natural musk filling the air around you. You feel your whole being swallowed by his. The pure intimacy of it all makes your brain feel fuzzy.

You look up to place a peck on his lips, but he stops you with two fingers under your chin, before you can pull away. His lips meet yours, lingering for a moment before he pulls away, satisfied.

“See? Naked is much better,” he muses.

“Way better,” you agree with a smile, settling against him once more.

And in that moment, wrapped in Luigi’s warmth, you feel completely at peace.

One of his hands snakes upward, stroking your hair so tenderly. You let out a satisfied hum to let him know you’re enjoying it.

You close your eyes and stay this way for a while, listening to Luigi breathe, his chest rising and falling beneath you. You match your breathing to his, savoring his company and the intimacy of the moment.

Luigi breaks the silence. “Feeling any better, sweet girl?”

“A little. I still feel kinda stiff,” you respond, wrapping your legs tighter around his body. You feel another cramp, this time in your back, and immediately stiffen against him.

“Another cramp, baby?” Luigi asks, feeling you tense. “Want me to rub your back? Maybe it’ll help, huh?” He waits for your response, shifting slightly to look at your face.

You look up at him, catching his gaze. “No, Lui, let's just stay like this,” you whisper into his ear. “I’m comfortable,” you assure him, the feeling of guilt lingers, he had pulled away from his work just to cuddle with you. Still, you can’t deny how enticing the thought of a massage from Luigi sounds.

“Wait, I can try one of those massage techniques I read about! Remember I was telling you? They helped me, maybe they’ll help you too. Here, baby, just spin around, lay on your belly.” He gently maneuvers your body under the duvet until you're lying face down on the bed. “Comfy?” he asks.

You adjust slightly, wiggling into a comfortable position. “Yeah, but baby, I promise you don’t have to—”

Before you can finish, Luigi cuts you off. “Come on, just let me take care of you,” he retorts, flashing you a small smile you can’t resist. He moves to sit next to you on the bed, the blanket draped over his lower half.

“Okay, fine,” you huff playfully, smiling up at him. He slowly pulls the blanket down, exposing your bare back.

Luigi places his palms on your lower back, moving them up and down the length of your spine a few times, applying deep pressure. You close your eyes and let out a small groan, his touch offers immediate relief.

He then presses small circles into your lower back with his fingers, repeating the motion as he slowly works his way up to your shoulder blades. Then, he moves back down, making slight changes to the motions, checking in with you every so often. All you can manage in response is another groan, the relief is so satisfying you struggle to find the words. 

Above you, Luigi chuckles. “Damn, my hands are like magic, huh, baby?” You can picture the way he’s smiling. This is his love language, acts of service. Luigi always has a solution to your problems, and if he doesn’t, he’ll find one. God, what have you done to deserve such a man? You catch yourself thinking this multiple times a day.

“Hmm, whatever you say, babe,” you tease, giggling, jokingly downplaying just how much the massage is helping.

Luigi continues, gradually easing the pressure until his touches are featherlight. You feel yourself slipping into slumber, lulled by his gentle touch. At some point, you drift off, vaguely aware of Luigi wrapping you in his arms before sleep fully takes over.

When you wake, the sun is beginning to set, its warm glow spilling through the window. You aren’t sure how long you were asleep, but you’re no longer wrapped in Luigi’s arms. You still feel his lingering warmth and reach out, scanning the bed with your hand, searching for him. Your hand finds his thigh, and you open your eyes to see him, still shirtless, sitting up in bed with his laptop perched on his lap, fingers furiously typing away, completely engrossed in his work.

“Luigi?” Your voice is croaky from sleep. You crane your neck to look at him.

“Hey, baby, sorry, did I wake you?” he asks, shutting his laptop and placing it on the floor. “Was the typing too loud?”

“No, not at all. Hmm… I think I’m hungry,” you murmur, rubbing your hand up and down his thigh. You stretch under the blanket, letting out a satisfied groan.

“You still feel any pain?” Luigi asks, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead, then your lips. You playfully jut your tongue out slightly before he pulls away, he makes a face of mock disgust. You chuckle.

“No, the massage worked. Thank you for that, my love,” you reply.

Luigi looks at you, tilting his head as he admires you for a moment, his eyes full of love and adoration. You meet his gaze, offering a small smile. Silent "I love you’s" pass between you before Luigi takes a sharp inhale. He slides off the bed. “Hey, let me get us something to eat. You want anything in particular?” He reaches for his sweats, pulling them on before tossing you his sweater.

“Oh, Lu, you’ve already done so much. Let me make us something,” you offer, sitting up and pulling his sweater over your head.

He glares playfully before smiling. “Absolutely not. What did I say earlier? Let me take care of you!”

“Okay, okay, you can cook.” Secretly, you're relieved. Between the two of you, Luigi is by far the better cook. He spent years perfecting old family recipes while in college, tweaking the recipes with tricks he picked up from cookbooks and online videos.

“Maybe I’ll make carbonara… Oh, wait, actually, I’m kinda craving risotto. It’s warm, and it’ll help you feel a bit better.” Luigi extends a hand to you, and you slip out of bed, walking hand in hand toward the kitchen.

You smooth your hair back and head to the sink to wash your hands while Luigi opens the fridge, pulling out ingredients for his famous risotto. He grabs a knife and begins dicing an onion with practiced ease. You push yourself up onto the counter, admiring his smooth knife skills.

The two of you stay like this, Luigi moving around the kitchen, preparing your meal, while you sit and drink him in. As he cooks, he starts explaining the small tweaks he made to his family’s traditional recipe. Originally, the onions were fried in butter, but he found olive oil to be a better alternative. He carries on rambling about the benefits of oil while you sit, listening to his nerdy ramblings.

Once the risotto is ready, Luigi carries two plates into the living room. You trail behind, carrying two glasses of water. He sets the food down, and you settle beside him on the couch. After eating, the evening unfolds in comfortable warmth, cuddling, talking, and laughing about everything and nothing.

“I love you so much, you know that?” you tell him, pressing your forehead against his.

“I know baby, I love you too,” he whispers, pressing the softest kiss to your lips

[stillgotscars]

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[moonstruckme]

Hello tumblr has decided to temporarily disappear the request I'm ready to post again, so sorry and thank you for requesting <3

Request: i love love love your writing and was wondering if you’d write a period hurt/comfort with james? i have really bad endometriosis, and i’ve never really had someone take it seriously :( fainted earlier so i’m in pain rn and i just know james would be such a sweetheart

cw: modern au, reader who menstruates, very mild/vague description of cramps, male gaslighting/suspicion of female pain (what else is new)

James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 895 words

“Will that be all?” The geniality in James’ tone is starting to wane thin. He paces aimlessly around your flat, down the hall and into the bedroom and then back out again, footsteps meandering about the kitchen. “Right, yeah. No, I’m quite sure she’ll be out all day.” 

James shoots you an exasperated look as he comes into the sitting room, and you manage a smile-esque grimace from the couch in return. Your boss is a piece of work, you know. 

You hold out your hand for the phone. James shakes his head. 

“No, she can’t come to the phone right now,” he says, sitting beside your curled-up legs. “She’s resting. Did I mention she fainted a bit ago? Alright, yeah, just checking. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I’ll let her know.” 

You grimace again when he puts down the phone. Hanging up without telling the other person to have a lovely day is like James’ equivalent of the middle finger. 

“Sorry,” you say. 

“What’re you sorry for?” James gives your calf a gentle squeeze. “Your boss is rather pushy, isn’t he? Shouldn’t take so much to use a sick day.”

“I don’t think he believes me.” You let your face mush deeply into a throw pillow. There’s a light sweat broken out on your brow, but you couldn’t be more grateful for the sweltering heating pad held tight over your abdomen. “I could’ve talked to him.” 

James makes a face. “You shouldn’t have to deal with someone like that when you’re already poorly.”  

“What did he want you to let me know?” 

“Oh. Uh.” James seems as though he did not, in fact, plan to let you know, but now that you’ve asked he can’t avoid it. “He said that he expects to see you in tomorrow. We’ll see.” 

You sigh. “I might be able to manage tomorrow. Or I might be a bit better, at least.” 

“We’ll see,” he says again, stooping to mush a kiss into the side of your head. “Don’t worry about that yet, sweetheart. How are you feeling now?” 

“Better than when I woke up.” 

“Yeah?” James asks hopefully. It’s a low bar, considering that early this morning the pain had been bad enough to cause you to pass out. But if there’s one thing James can be relied upon for, it’s a positive outlook. “That’s great, lovie. Is there anything you need?”

You shake your head, breaths shallowing as your cramps worsen. Nausea pinches the back of your throat. James’ face pinches, too, as he sees. He rubs your lower back where the muscles tend to clench. 

“Is there anything you want?” he asks instead. 

It almost makes you laugh. Almost, but even that’s enough to ease the pain slightly. 

“No,” you say, breathing out as the worst passes. James continues massaging your back. “Thanks.” 

“Maybe we could try a walk later, if you’re feeling better,” he says. “Some light exercise might help.” 

“Maybe,” you murmur. Truly, the thought of leaving this couch anytime during the next week makes you want to sew yourself into the cushions. James probably knows you’re only humoring him, but he doesn’t say anything. When you hug your heating pad closer, he spreads his palm flat over your back to transfer heat there, too. 

You relax some when the cramp eases the rest of the way. “Sorry. I don’t mean to take over your whole day.” 

“Sweetheart, why are you sorry?” James places his free hand over yours on your heating pad. Between that and the one on your back, it’s almost like a hug. “I know you don’t want this to happen. And, honestly, I’d rather have my day taken over by you than anyone else. Don’t tell Sirius.” 

That coaxes a small smile out of you. James grins, leaning down again to plant a kiss on your cheek. 

“I’m sorry you’re so miserable.” 

“I’m not miserable,” you say. “I’m with you.” 

James makes a horrendously fond sound, cuddling you close. “You flatterer. I don’t know where you find the energy to be so sweet during times like this.” 

You make it easy, you want to say, but James will only think you’re playing along with him and you want to say it when he’ll hear the sincerity you mean it with. Instead, you intertwine your fingers with his and say, “I’ve thought of something I want.” 

“Yeah?” James sits up. He brushes a few strands of hair away from your face, mindless of your clamminess. You think that maybe the only thing bigger than James’ capacity for love is how it feels to be at the center of it. “Some tea, maybe? That tumeric one helped a bit last time, remember?” 

“Maybe later,” you say, voice softening. “For now, could I please have a kiss?” 

James blinks once in surprise, but then he grins. “Ah, for the endorphins,” he says, already bending down. “Good thinking, angel.” 

“Right.” You don’t know where he gets these facts. You suspect he scrolls through endometriosis reddit forums while you’re asleep. “Yeah.” 

James makes it a kiss worth asking for. He keeps his hand flat over your back as he leans over you, the other cupping your cheek to encourage your face towards him. And when your lips part, you do feel a bit better. It’s a magical cure-all, just like the fairytales say.

[meadowfics]

delivery

hwang jun-ho x pregnant!reader

the policeman is excited for his daughter to arrive

warnings: birth

this is a continuation and part two to this

it all starts late at night, just as you’re getting ready to climb into bed.

you’ve showered, slipped into your comfiest satin nightgown, and are looking forward to finally getting some rest.

jun-ho is already under the covers, scrolling through his phone while waiting for you.

just as you move to sit on the bed, you feel an unexpected sensation.

at first, you freeze, wondering if you’ve accidentally peed yourself.

this has happened before, due to your daughter using your bladder as a soccer ball.

the thought of it happening again makes your cheeks heat with embarrassment.

“uh… jun-ho?”

you say hesitantly, your voice barely above a whisper.

your partner's head snaps up immediately, his protective instincts kicking in.

“what’s wrong? are you okay?”

he’s already moving to sit up, concern etched into his features.

you glance down at yourself and mumble,

“i think… i think my water just broke.” the words feel strange to say, and you can’t help but feel a little self-conscious.

jun-ho blinks a few times, processing what you’ve just said. then his lips curl into a small, excited smile that he’s clearly trying to suppress.

“really? are you sure?” he asks, but he’s already reaching for the hospital bag that’s been packed for weeks.

you nod, still feeling a little flustered.

“yeah, i’m pretty sure. i mean, i didn’t feel any pain, but—” you trail off, looking at the growing damp spot on your nightgown.

“okay, okay, no need to worry,”

jun-ho says, his voice calm but laced with excitement.

he places a reassuring hand on your lower back, then gently guides you to sit down on the edge of the bed.

“let’s get you changed first, and then we’ll head to the hospital. our girl’s on her way.”

as you change into clean clothes, with the help of jun-ho.. the man hurries around the room, triple-checking the hospital bag, your phone, chargers, snacks, and anything else you might need.

you can tell he’s trying to stay composed, but the way he fumbles with the zipper on the bag gives away his excitement.

once you’re ready, he helps you into the car.

during the drive, you start to feel mild contractions. they’re not too bad yet, but jun-ho keeps glancing at you every few minutes, asking,

“how are you feeling? do you need anything? want me to play some music?”

you laugh softly, despite the growing discomfort.

“i’m fine, jun-ho. just focus on driving. i’d rather not give birth in the car.”

at the hospital, jun-ho is by your side every step of the way. he holds your hand tightly as the nurses check you in, offering comforting words and even cracking a small joke to lighten the mood.

“guess i’ll finally get to see if all those birthing classes paid off.”

as your contractions intensify, jun-ho stays calm and steady, never letting go of your hand. he rubs your back during the worst of it, whispering,

“you’re doing amazing, y/n. she’s so lucky to have you as her mom.”

hours pass, and jun-ho barely leaves your side. even when you’re tired and in pain, he keeps encouraging you, telling you how strong you are and how proud he is of you.

"you're doing so well, sweetheart."

when your contractions start getting stronger, jun-ho immediately shifts into “coach mode,” even though he’s never officially done this before.

he sits beside you, holding your hand tightly, and says,

“okay, y/n, remember to breathe. in through your nose, out through your mouth..just like we practiced.”

during a particularly intense contraction, just when you're seven centimeters dilated.. you grip his hand hard enough to make him wince, but he doesn’t say a word about it.

he's faced worst while being a detective.

instead, he rubs soothing circles on your back with his other hand, murmuring,

“you’re so strong, y/n. you’ve got this. just focus on breathing, one step at a time.”

every time the nurse comes in to check on you, jun-ho listens attentively, nodding as if he’s taking mental notes.

afterward, he turns to you and explains everything in a calm, steady voice, making sure you’re not overwhelmed.

“okay, so it sounds like you’re dilating really well. that means we’re getting closer. just a little more, and we’ll meet her.”

at one point, he notices you’re getting tense and you start clenching your jaw during a contraction.

“hey, relax your shoulders,” he says gently, placing his hands on them and giving them a light squeeze.

“it’ll help with the pain. you’re doing amazing, y/n.”

when you start to doubt yourself.. you start to cry,

“i don’t think i can do this,”

jun-ho immediately shakes his head and cups your face with both hands.

“yes, you can. you’ve already come so far. you’re the strongest person i know, y/n, and you’re not doing this alone. i’m right here with you.”

between contractions, he keeps you distracted by cracking small jokes.

“if she’s as stubborn as you, it’s no wonder she’s taking her time coming out.”

when you glare at him, he grins and adds,

“but stubbornness is a good thing. she’ll be tough, like her mom.”

when it’s time to start pushing, jun-ho positions himself right by your side, holding one of your legs and encouraging you with every push.

“you’re doing it, y/n. just a little more. you’re so close. i’m so proud of you.”

at one point, you grab the collar of his shirt in frustration during a particularly difficult push.. the ring of fire as doctors put it.

instead of panicking, he stays calm and says,

“that’s it, take it out on me. you can yell at me all you want..just keep going. you’re amazing, y/n."

the moment your daughter is born, just after three hours of pushing.. jun-ho’s eyes fill with tears. he looks at her, then at you, and his voice trembles as he says,

“she’s perfect. you did it, y/n.”

when the nurse places your baby girl in your arms, jun-ho leans in close, his arm wrapped around your shoulders as you both look at her in awe.

“welcome to the world, little one,”

your man whispers, his voice full of love.

even as exhausted as you are, you can see the way jun-ho can’t stop smiling. he keeps glancing between you and your daughter, like he can’t believe how lucky he is to have both of you.

later, as the three of you settle in for some quiet time, jun-ho gently brushes his fingers over your daughter’s tiny hand.

“she’s got your nose,” he says softly, leaning in to kiss your forehead.

"thank you for being the best."

you mumble, tired from the pushing.

“thank you, y/n. for everything. i love you so much.”

"I love you too."

you watch him as he carefully cradles your daughter, talking to her in a soft, soothing voice about how much he’s been waiting to meet her.

in that moment, you know your little family is already filled with so much love.

masterlist

[thebibliosphere]

I think sometimes it's hard to see my progress with my health because it so often feels like I take one step forward and then a hop, skip, and a jump back in some regards.

I'll improve one thing, and something else will pop up like a constant game of whack-a-mole with Symptoms. It's hard not to feel defeated, even though I know logically that progress is progress, but sometimes, progress doesn't feel much like progress and more like dragging yourself around by the scruff of the neck. It's tiring, in a 'slowly eats away at your soul and makes you increasingly mentally unwell' sort of way.

And then I'll see someone like Magic Dentist Man, who I haven't seen for a while, and the clarity of how far I've come hits me like a ton of bricks.

I've been through a lot since he first started treating me. I almost died, for one thing. He was there for the worst of it. Watched me slowly fade away to nothing until it was almost too late. But he hasn't seen much of me during my recovery. His daughter has primarily taken over my care -- the only person, he jokes, who he trusts with my 'complexities.' When he found the infection on the lower right side of my jaw during my checkup last week, however, he declared then and there he'd be the one to treat it.

"You've been hurt too much already, kiddo," was all he said, like if it was up to him, like if I was his kid, he'd beat the shit out of everyone who came before him. Like the fact that I was so badly brutalized by the medical system that I taught myself to breathe through the pain of root canals without anesthesia was a travesty he'll never forgive.

He's like that, Magic Dentist Man. He sees someone in pain and says, "Not today, not at my hands."

If he asked me to help hide a body, I'd ask how far away and how deep he wanted the hole.

Anyway. He's seen me through some of the worst moments of my life, and today, while he was holding the curing wand over my carefully reconstructed teeth, I caught him smiling upside down at me behind his mask.

"What?" I asked, though it came out more like, 'Hwhut?'

"Nothing," he said, still smiling. "I was just thinking you look alive."

And maybe now, a few hours after the painkillers are out of my system, maybe, yeah. Maybe that's hitting a little harder than I expected. Because he knows, y'see? He knows how far I've come. Even if I sometimes forget.

[frenskcup]

having thoughts about...

the past few days have had your back screaming out in agony. but that's nothing your man can't fix. with his own aching body, yelling out for some reprieve, trust that jason has his own arsenal of solutions that he's more than willing to try out on you. anything to help his beloved.

of course you can hog the heated pad for tonight. the drizzle that gotham is accustomed to has upgraded to an absolute downpour that has his own bones aching, so he knows how it is.

did his comparatively larger hand feel nice on your lower back? yeah, he can keep it there – in fact, he'll include the other and massage your back in tandem if that will help the pain.

on one particularly crappy day, you can't control the grunts and winces of pain when you twist a certain way your back can't take. it's the worst it's been since it started a few weeks ago. jason can tell.

not like that's saying much– he's attentive to your every emotion: every tired sigh you don't think too much about in the moment, the stink-eye you give the lady at the bodega for cutting in front of you, the sparkle in your eye when he plants a big one on your cheek as he passes by and you pull him right back to return the action three-fold.

you're on your phone when he comes through the front door and stops in his tracks. it's not uncommon for you to be scrolling through a random app's feed but the position you chose to put yourself is: upside down with your legs outstretched, resting on the wall.

"how's the weather down there?" his question holds a different meaning behind it, unlike his normal quips about the height difference between you two.

"it was good 'til it wasn't," you groan, dropping your phone and slithering off the couch head first. your legs are still planted on the seat of the couch, and the new position makes jason's back hurt looking at you.

you make grabby hands at him, which he feels he cannot legally deny in any circumstance. he squats down to reach your hands, squeezing to make sure you had a good grip on him and were ready for the force of him lifting/pulling.

with a grunt, jason snaps up from his semi-squat position and drags you with him. the amount of force he uses with you has been carefully calibrated over the time you've known each other.

a yelp has his heart in his throat. there's no way he hurt you, right?

"you okay?"

he's quick to put you down and check your shoulders and arms for any acute injuries. the last thing he needs is to hurt you. he'd feel too guilty to touch you again in that way if he did, which would make performing his previous maneuver at your behest difficult.

you're silent as he firmly grabs at places that could have been injured. as jason faces your front, he notices your silence is paired with a very out-of-it expression. he never hit your head on anything, did he?

"baby? you okay–"

"my back."

his eyes widen with concern. you're still standing but...

"did i make it worse?" your eyes focus in on him, now taking in the worry evident on his face.

"i... think you might have popped something." your hand reaches for his to reassure him. "something good, i promise. wasn't expecting that to happen, so it scared me silent, i guess."

he let's out a breath and squeezes your hand, relieved that he didn't cause any more pain.

"i need you to do something for me. and don't try to talk me out of it. this is for science."

"science is only when you write stuff down."

you scoff at him.

"stop quoting myth busters at me, you absolute nerd."

"it seems like i'm being summoned somewhere else." he pretends to check his phone, making sure to rip his hand away from you. "yeah, definitely something significantly more important than whatever "science" you're doing."

"fine. i'm sorry. you're not a nerd." your pause makes jason think you're about to tell him your idea. "you're a huge nerd. like, physically and quantitatively."

his dead stare at you has your facade cracking, a sputtered laugh falling from your lips. you grab at his hands with great difficulty, as he swats at you and tries to stuff them in his jeans.

"okay, okay. you're my huge nerd. better?"

you give up on trying to pull his hands from where he's planted them, instead reaching around his neck to pull him closer to you. you know jason can't stop his hands from grabbing your lower back to pull you even closer, making you grin. you rub your nose to his when he's close enough.

"not at all."

"just– help me out, please?"

you hold his cheeks in your hands, forcing him to look at you as you look at him with puppy dog eyes, a small pout on your lips. he rolls his eyes and you know you got him.

"thank you, jaybird!" you plant a kiss on his cheek with a loud, exaggerated smooching noise.

(back during your first month or two with him, you tried to find out how much moisture on your lips would have him wiping away at his cheek or mouth. turns out, there was no way in hell jason was going to do that. wipe off your kiss? that you specifically gave to him? you're outta your damn mind.)

you get jason to help you scoot the coffee table out of the way for a more spacious floor to work with. you guide him into the spot you envisioned, closing one eye and telling him "a little more to the left".

"okay. i'm gonna cartwheel in front of you." you point at him. "you're gonna catch my legs."

as the son and protege of a detective, the cogs in his head are turning with the instructions you've given him. he never was the fastest at deducing motives or criminal reasoning when he first started, but now he's pretty good with the experience under his belt.

you move quicker than the detective his mind, swinging a leg up and then the other in front of him.

"now pull me up by my legs!" you shout, not currently being able to register how loud you are when the blood is rushing to your head and you're nowhere close to jason's ears that are more than six feet away from your head. "not fast! just enough to stretch me out!"

he's not for sure on whether this will help your back at all, more just going along for the ride at this point. but like the caring boyfriend he is, he grasps both of you legs with his arms and slowly moves you enough so that you're dangling from his hold.

a loud 'pop' sounds out from your spine, causing you to yelp in surprise.

"i'm okay! that was a good pop!" you learned from your last pop to tell him if it hurt. "i think that's all i'm gonna get out of it today. please put me down!"

jason maneuvers you gently to the ground and your feet away from him. your face is flushed from being upside down and you stumble into his chest, both his arms coming to grab you before you fell.

"i'd offer you the same treatment, but..." you wrap your arms around him and can just only get your hands together in an s-grip. "you're too big a nerd."

with a groan, he effortlessly hoists you up underneath your armpits and throws you before catching you. not wanting to risk a fall, you wrap your arms and legs around him quickly. if you had claws, he's sure you'd be stuck on his shirt. not that he'd mind.

"remind me why i let you bully me."

"because... i'll let you lay on me and rub your shoulders and back like you want?"

"you're lucky you know me so well."

and with that, he traps you under the lumpy couch that you swore you'd replace like a few months ago. true to your word, you take your time massaging his tense shoulders and rubbing and scratching his back to let him feel some relief. besides–

"you're my big nerd."

A/N: didn't think this would be so long, but i always like to stretch a bit for waaaay longer than it should. i'm a new jason todd stan as of like, a month ago. so jason might be o.o.c. but i wanted to get this to the masses asap

[samkerrworshipper]

how did it end? | arsenal x reader

warnings: suicidal themes, self harm, alcohol abuse, depression

um yeah lol feel grateful for this because i’m going to go ghost mode for the rest of the week! to the anons who have a problem with my writing, don’t fucking read this if it’s such a problem, in fact don’t read any of my stuff at all, my page is a better place without you.

Everything about the day had felt wrong.

Everything about your last month had felt wrong, really the whole year if you thought about it.

It had all started after a blindside move from your home club. Leaving Rsenal had been the worst thing that had ever happened, but you’d known it was coming after they’d signed Russo. There was only so much room for strikers on the team, and your contract happened to be out as the summer started, leaving you as a free agent.

Somehow, you’d ended up at PSG, which you still didn’t understand. There had been offers everwhere, Lyon, Real Madrid, Man City, Chelsea, Bayern, Wolfsburg, yet your manager had fucked you and gone for PSG.

It had been a clusterfuck from the day you’d arrived, the language barrier, your horrible mental state, the different playing structure, the weather, your lonely apartment, the lack of friendships, the lack of support.

It had taken a month before you’d crashed and burned, withdrawing yourself from both club and national team. You’d been lower then low, sadder then sad, completely withdrawn from your own life. You wish you’d stayed, you wish that none of it had of happened, because maybe life wouldn’t have turned out the way it had, maybe you’d be happier.

Your Arsenal teammates had visited as often as the schedule permitted, helped you move your whole life from one country to the other, but at the end of the day you were still hundreds of miles away from them.

You’d stopped answering their calls after a few weeks, too consumed with the completely inebriating struggle that you were going through in Paris, trying to stay true to yourself whilst being so far in the deep end of the pool that you were struggling to keep your head above the water.

After the call to Sarina and the call to your manager it had made more sense for you to return to London, even if it had pained you to do so.

Not a month after you’d packed your whole life away against your will, you were packing it all back up.

You didn’t like what happened in Paris, you weren’t proud of it, all you wanted was to get back to your house in St. Albans, but you were also terrified of what your ‘home’ looked like now. It wasn’t the same place it had been for the last 8 years, you didn’t have your bestfriends as teammates more, you didn’t have any teammates, you were unofficially, self-decidedly, retired. Sarina had begged for you to return, tried to reckon with you, but you were done, your love for the game had died in Paris and you had no desire to re-open the wounds that had been torn into your skin in France.

You didn’t tell anyone, you just hoped that you’d be able to avoid everyone for as long as possible, that you’d just be able to slowly become nonexistent and become forgotten by everyone from the past 20 years of your life, but you were aware that life didn’t work that way.

You were sick of all the pain you were going through, all the suffering that you were being forced to endure for no good reason. You didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, you didn’t feel like you had anybody to talk to about it, it was just you nowadays.

That was how you spent most of your nights, alone.

Alone with a bottle of your posion of choice sitting on your bathroom floor.

It was the only thing that made it all better nowadays, the feeling of alcohol slipping down your throat, typically with a razor blade in your other hand.

There was something satisfying about it all, something perfect about being perfectly intoxicated with a sliver of metal between your finger tips.

On this particular day, you knew you’d drunk to much, but it had all been wrong. You’d woken up with a headache, in your shower, the tiles of your floor stained with your own blood. It wasn’t a uncommon place for you to wake up anymore, but everything about it felt wrong. Your head was aching in a way it never had, your whole body was hurting and for some reason it all just felt off.

You went about your normal routine, pushing the temperature of your shower to as hot as it would go, finding peace in the blistering water falling down across your skin. Once your skin was bright red you’d climb out, falling into your bed to help to sleep off the rift that the hangover had left inside of you. Around midday you would climb out of your bed, slipping out from the covers to enjoy your few hours of life that your days now gave you. Sometimes it would be spent in your kitchen, trying your hardest to piece together some kind of sustenance, other days making and eating food was too hard. On this particular day, you forgoed your kitchen, instead opting to walk straight past it and out onto your patio, as per the usual london weather, it was pouring down, but you didn’t mind too much.

The rain was nice, it reminded you that not everything in life was pretty, your life certainly wasn’t pretty anymore. Rain was a reminder that everyday could be turned upside down just based off of something that was completely out of anybodys control.

After deciding it was a bit too wet to enjoy the outdoors you tracked your way back indoors, your bare feet creasing and digging into the hard, cold wood floors of your home. You eyed off your uncomfortable couch, the one that your manager had found on facebook marketplace which was the most uncomfortable piece of furniture you thought could be bought. It kind of felt like a metaphor for you, you’d been bought, and it had been the worst decision PSG had made, and you were destined, just like the couch, to be thrown away without anybody really knowing or caring.

You walked straight past the couch and back to your bed, there wasn’t any living for you to do today, it just felt that way, so you pulled the covers back over your body and enjoyed the moment of peace that your bed gave you.

It didn’t last long, your body relaxing into the mattress for a few seconds before the restlessness took over. It was like that nowadays, your body never able to stop. You figured it was probably a result of your body going from pushing its limits everyday, mentally and physically to you doing absolutely nothing. Previously, when you’d been in a depressive episode you would sleep all day, no matter what had been happening, but not anymore. Now, you had to drink yourself into oblivion before your body would force itself to relax, you could be as exhausted and tired as you wanted but your body just wouldn’t let you sleep.

Your brain convinced you that your mattress was the lumpiest mattress made, when you really knew you’d hand picked it for it’s comfort. You brain tricked you into feeling like all of your curtains were wide open on a summers day when really they were drawn closed. Your mind was playing tricks on you and you didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t.

That’s how you’d ended up on your bathroom floor so early, the overwhelming need for you to fix the pain becoming too much for you. With a bottle of vodka in one hand and your scared silver blade in the other you finally found yourself at peace.

The stomachache and burn of the vodka going down your throat didn’t truly matter, not when you were staring down at the thin criss cross of lines all over your thighs.

Some were healed, some were thick, some were thin, some were sore. They all told a different story. Thighs were the easiest, less arteries, good to hide, disguisable. They didn’t bleed the same way wrists did, they bled slow and painfully, a couple of lines never hurt you.

With the mix of last nights alcohol though and the new vodka mixed with the sight of blood you found yourself feeling woozy.

You hadn’t always been a cutter, self-harm hadn’t always been your vice. It had always been football. From the minute the ball was at your feet it had been football, and you wouldn’t of had it any other way. It had been your everything, football had been your life and until it had been taken from you, you hadn’t understood the true magnitude of what that meant. Your life had no purpose, no substance, nothing, without your game. Football had been the only thing you were good at, and you were extremely good at it. You’d given up on school in pursuit of your footballing career and it had been worth it, up until now.

Now your life was nothing but a big mess.

You wished it had worked out in Paris, you wished that you’d been able to farewell London and make a new home in France, but it hadn’t meant to be. All of your talent, all of your love, all of your passion, it was all for nothing now. Everything you’d ever done amounted to nothing, you were nothing without a pair of boots on your feet and a football in front of you.

You were never going to be the same again, it was all different now, and you were man enough to admit that you missed what you’d had. There were things that you lost in life, in the heartbreak and the struggles, you just hadn’t expected that you would lose the meaning of your life in the process. You had a hard time understanding why it had to happen to you, why you’d been the unlucky one. You paid your dues, you’d woken up at 5am every single morning to run drills, you’d worked your ass of and yet here you were, drunk on your bathroom floor wishing that you were gone.

Once upon a time you’d believed that a person would do anything for the thing that they loved most in the world, but you didn’t believe ion that anymore, love was supposed to be the most powerful thing on earth, and yet it had failed you.

It was funny because you could drink all of the alcohol you wanted but it never made you forget about what you’d lost. The hundreds of memories of football over the years, Arsenal, it had all been Arsenal. You’d been the kind of player where you’d always been one club, from academy all the way through to the senior team, you bled arsenal. Nobody even asked you what your dream team was, because it had always been Arsenal, you hadn’t had eyes for anywhere else. Yet you’d been thrown away like nothing.

You’d loved playing for Arsenal, when you put your jersey on at the beginning of every game you felt ten times stronger, qall of your bestest friends had been at Arsenal, your bridesmaids, your for life friends, and yet now it all felt like you were drifting away.

For the longest time you’d chosen the good options, the healthy options, what was right.

Now though, you chose destruction.

You sleep when your blackout drunk.

You drink caffeine late at night.

You stay awake until your eyes burn.

You always say yes to whatever vice your brain can think of.

You drink water instead of food and vodka instead of water,

You’re isolated beyond the point of it being okay, nowadays you spend more time with yourself then anybody else.

Maybe it was the vodka that made you feel particularly adventurous, or the scent of your own blood seeping across your skin, but whatever it was it somehow inclined you to reach for your phone which was rested on the tiles besides you.

You’d turned your notifications off long ago, as soon as the trade had come through.

You’d ignored everyone’s messages for the sake of preserving your own mental state, you couldn’t deal with the constant back and forth of trying to keep friendships which felt like had already gone.

You were more intoxicated than normal, or that was how you rationalized your behaviour, because there really wasn’t any other explanation to it, unless all of the emotions from the last few months had suddenly hit you a lot harder then normal.

But you were sick of being alone, you knew that, you’d been alone for far too long.

Maybe the alcohol had pushed that to the forefront to your mind, or you’d just become inherently desperate.

Your phone rang, the sound vibrating against the tile floor of the bathroom, amplifying it to your ears, the noise ringing out in your ear canal.

It didn’t take long for the ringing to cease, the sound of silence absorbing around you.

“y/n? Is that you?”

You blinked a few times, swallowing down the final remnants of your last swig of vodka.

“Hey.”

Your voice was shaky, from the days of not saying any words at all, you didn;t have any reason to speak if you were all by yourself.

“Hi.”

The silence stayed thick, obviously neither of you unsure about what to say.

“Are you okay, no ones heard anything from you in a few weeks.”

You’d vanished, for the good of yourself.

“I wish I’d stayed, le.”

Their was a deep breath exhaled from the other side of the line.

“I wish you’d stayed too, y/n.”

You couldn’t think of a single positive that had come from you leaving, not a single one.

“I wish I’d stayed now, I wish I’d been given the chance.”

You could fele the tears building up in the corners of your eyes.

“Me too, y/n.”

The tears were falling, the water falling from your cheeks falling onto the blood on your legs, the two liquids mixing together, the blood turning into red as they two mixed, blood did run thicker than water.

“I wish i’d stayed le, I wish none of this had happened.”

You didn’t want to know what the blonde on the other side of the phone was thinking about at this moment, you weren;t thinking about her, just yourself.

“Hold in there kid, for me, it’s all going to work itself out.”

There was no working it out, this was the end for you.

“I can’t do it anymore, I can’t pretend that i wish I hadn’t of stayed, that I don’t spend everyday regretting it, I want it all back.”

You pushed the blade down against your skin again.

Drawing the metal against your skin until the blood had begun to pool at the base of the two or three inch line.

“Where are you kid, are you in Paris? Do you need me to send someone to come and check on you? You shouldn’t be drinking like this by yourself, especially not in season.”

There wasn’t a season for you anymore, you were free, you could do whatever you pleased.

“I’m at home, and I’m fine.”

You pulled the blade up, and onto a new patch of skin, it was all littered with past scars, raised white lines.

“You don’t sound fine kid, I have plenty of friends in France, don’t make me get them to come and hunt you down.”

Her voice was an attempt at threatening, but it sounded more worried then anything.

“I’m not in Paris, I left after my contract was annulled.”

Annulled aka we’re letting you go without any pay but you still technically belong to us until the length of your contract is up.

“Annulled?”

You would have thought Sarina would have told the team, but apparently not.

“Haven’t you heard? I’m retired.”

Retired was not a word that you thought should fall from a twenty four year olds mouth, but here you were.

“Retired? Where are you, y/n?”

You supposed the alcohol might have been making your tongue a little bit looser.

“In my house, in my bathroom.”

Another deep exhale, you could just picture the woman pinching the bridge of her nose, maybe even frowning.

“Your house, where?”

You picked up the bottle of alcohol, taking a break from the razor blade to allow the vodka to ease back down your oesophagus.

“St Albans.”

The line went silent for a few seconds.

“You’re back home, since when?”

Another sip of your vodka.

“Couple of weeks, France wasn’t for me.”

France was the end of you.

“How much have you been drinking? You sound awful.”

You didn’t think you sounded that bad, but you also supposed a sober person would have a different perspective.

“Vodka, feels good le.”

Another deep exhale.

“I’m going to come over.”

Rustling on the other side of the phone.

“I’m fine, I’m good, you don’t need to come over.”

You were lying to both yourself and Leah.

“You aren’t fine, you aren’t good, and even if you want to tell yourself you are, I need to see you in real life because for the last months I’ve thought you were as good as dead. Are you safe, y/n?”

You didn’t know how to answer that question, you hadn’t felt safe with yourself in what felt like forever.

“I’m not unsafe.”

More rustling on the other side of the line.

“Do I need to bring somebody with me? Do I need to call an ambulance?”

You thought about it for a few seconds.

“I’m okay Le.”

The alcohol made you feel more okay then you had been, so you supposed it wasn;t fully a lie.

“You’re drunk at 6pm, I don’t think you are fine. I’m going to go get Viv, she knows how to deal with you when you’re spiralling, I’m going to stay on the phone with you and ask you some questions, okay, I’m walking out to my car now.”

You nodded your head, the realized that Leah wasn’t in front of you.

“Answer me honestly, are you safe right now, do you feel safe?”

You didn’t feel unsafe, you kewn by the looks of things, you were in a unsafe position. Alcohol and self harm wasn’t exactly the safest thing, but you felt at peace, and you knew that you weren’t causing any serious bodily harm to yourself.

“Depends on your perspective.”

You heard the sound of car doors.

“Okay, I’ll break it down, hmm? Are you within arms reach of something that could cause harm to you or others?”

Fuck.

“Yes.”

The sound of the phone connecting to bluetooth and keys in a ignition.

“What?”

You bit down on the inside of your cheek.

“Bottle of vodka and a blade.”

It wasn’t hard for you to admit, not when this had been how you’d spent all of your nights the last while.

“What kind of blade?”

You wished you’d stayed, you wished you weren’t in this position.

“Razor.”

You could feel the bile rising in your throat, whether it was alcohol related or from the cosntant questions.

“Alright, I want you to push them both as far away from you as possible, don’t look at them, don’t think about them, think about me. Now, have you caused yourself any harm?”

God, if you’d been able to stay none of this would be happening, none of it.

“Some cuts, le I think I’m going to be sick.”

The tears were full throttle, the sound of somebody’s voice that you’d missed so much in your ears and the vomit bottling itself up in your throat.

“Go to the toilet bowl, let it out.”

The taste of bile in your throat was never going to be something you enjoyed, the feeling of the new cuts along your thighs creasing as you crouched over the bowl stinging in a way that reawakened you.

The vomiting didn’t really stop, the continuous gagging being the only sound in your bathroom, beside the sound of Leah’s car.

Eventually, you finished, all of the clearish liquid mixed with your stomach acid sitting at the bottom of the bowl like a disgusting soup.

You laid down against your tiles, enjoying the cold that covered your skin.

Viv must have been picked up, because you could hear her and Beth talking in the background, beth, happy beth, beth who had once been your bestest friend.

“Bubba, you still with us, we’re just around the corner.”

You let out a groan in aggreance.

They continued to talk to you, allowing you to reply with different huffs and noises as they neared closer and closer to your home.

You ignored the hit of endorphins that you felt melt across you at the sound of your front door unlocking, Leah had kept your key, clearly.

It was a few seconds before your bathroom was crowded by the presence of your past teammates, the three sets of eyes all falling on you.

“Beth, go get a wet handwasher, Leah go get her some water.”

Viv’s voice was soft, but commanding, her body immediately gravitating to your own.

She crouched down beside you, grabbing you by the shoulders and pushing you upwards, bringing you eye to eye with her.

“It’s good to have you back.”

You burst into tears, you’d hated being in St Albans out of fear that you’d be rejected, that you’d be told to go back to France, and yet here you were being welcomed back with open arms.

“I wish I’d stayed vivi, I wish I’d stayed, I wish none of this had happened, I want it all back, I want my life back. I can’t do this life anymore.”

Viv brought you into her arms.

“I know liefje, I know, it’s going to be okay, we’re going to figure it out, but we need to get you safe first, and this isn’t it. You need to be in a better place.”

If Viv had a problem with the way thart you clinged to her clothes, literally holding on for dear life, then she didn’t brign it up.

“You could have called one of us earlier you know, when you were struggling in France. You could have called me, you know I’ve been where you are, I’ve moved and hated every single part of it, we could have helped you before it had gotten this bad.”

You shook your head.

“Nobody could have helped me vivi, nothing could have helped me, I was done, I’m done.”

Viv nodded into you.

“We’ve got to get you cleaned up, and then you’ll go back to Leah’s house, and then we’ll work on fixing this, okay, Kyra’s going to be so happy to know you’re back, she’s missed you, the bloody kid hasn’t shut up about you and she only knew you for a week. Kim’s been contacting everybody, trying to figure out where you were, her little protege, she’s been hardly functioning, we all have been, you can’t just disappear on us like that, you had us all worried sick.”

You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Really?”

Viv let go of you a bit, to get a proper look at you.

“Just because you’re forced to leave doesn’t make you any less Arsenal. You can take the girl out of arsenal but not arsenal out of the girl. No matter where you go, or what you do, you’re always going to be one of us.”

You could feel more tears beginning to form.

“I don’t know how it could have ended how it did vivi.”

You felt the Dutch take a deep breath.

“I don’t know either, but we’ve got you alright, we’ve got you now, we won’t let you leave, your staying with us forever, you took a year off of my life for everyday that you ghosted us.”

You looked down and around you, at the mostly empty vodka bottle, the blood, the scars, it all, and you didn’t know how it had all ended up like this.

“How did it all end vivi?”

Viv looked at you, just as lost as you felt.

“We’re going to figure it out.”

——————————————————————

just thought i’d end this with a little etiquette lesson for any anons xo

if you feel like dropping hate over this in my inbox… don’t.

if you feel like having a go at me for this fic… don’t.

if you feel like making personally rude arguments about me… don’t.

if you feel like having a go at for me for expressing my struggles with writing and sometimes making mistakes… don’t.

just don’t. go touch some grass, go for a run, buy a new fucking vibrator. i can guarantee you will get more pleasure from a good orgasm then dropping aimless hate in my inbox.

[carame1bunny]

𝔉𝔞𝔴𝔫 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔬𝔫

Hello dears! Here is the fourth part of my “of the season” series(?)!

Pairing: Alastor x Fem doe!reader

Summary: The two deers finally welcome their baby

Warning: childbirth, nursing, mentions of smut, pregnancy, a whole lotta fluff:)

Alastor knew one thing for sure, he couldn’t wait to meet his little fawn. To hold it in his arms, protect it. His paternal instinct went into overdrive. He suddenly remembered the way Y/N acted when she was in heat, her body being tricked into thinking that a fawn needed a mother, that a fawn needed her. The way her body was singing to him, the way she made her nest bigger at the thought of him. The way she had a bit more meat on her, he could never forget the softness of his doe. Only now… it wasn’t a trick, she really was expecting. And he had to make sure that everything went perfectly. However, as the days went by, his urges became stronger and more powerful, that only meant one thing… The fawn was due any day. And that day came soon enough…

The deers were fast asleep in their bed, limbs tangled together, but Y/N woke up to an uncomfortable sensation. She felt pressure inside of her, not necessarily painfully, but it was not comforting either. She knew it was time, she had been sensing it for a while. Her now big bump dropped a bit, her womb lowering itself so their baby has an easier time getting out. She also sensed it on herself and Alastor. Her mind constantly chanting to her. Bigger nest, bigger nest, more room for fawn, more room for fawn, fawn fawn fawn. She could barely contain her laugh when she noticed Alastor mirroring her behavior. He was as restless as her, and he spent many hours with her in their nest, their bodies just needing to bask in each other’s comforting scent and touch.

“Alastor? Darling?!” She shook him awake, she couldn’t possibly go back to sleep now.

He was instantly alert and barely sitting upright in bed, with a huge palm over her belly in protectiveness. “It’s time isn’t it?” His instincts immediately realized what was going on. “Should I call Rosie?” He already reached for the wired telephone beside them, but his mate stopped him.

“Let’s wait until we’re sure I’m in labor. It could be a false one.” She said in a soft tone, but they both knew this was the real deal. It was still best to wait a bit though, in the past two weeks, they had multiple times when they thought their baby wanted it’s arrival, but it was not it.

“You’re right, doe.” She laid on her back and his hands were already fluffing her back into the sheets and pillows. “Stay here and attempt to rest while I make you some tea.” He planted a kiss on her lips and belly before walking downstairs to make the tea. He could think while the water was heating up in the kettle. He didn’t only just wait for her to give birth so he could hold his fawn, but so she could be comfortable as before. He knew she adored being pregnant, she loved that she could protect her baby in her own womb, she was growing it and keeping it warm. But with pregnancy, came pain. It was no secret that her belly was huge, a bit bigger than usual, Rosie was the one drawing attention to it, when the deers were over for tea.

“My, my, darling.” She put her manicured palm on her swollen belly. “Well, won’t we have a blast getting this babe out! It will be a meaty one!” Y/N looked at Rosie with wide eyes.

“But there won’t be any complications, right?” She grabbed Alastor’s hand in a panic.

“There shouldn’t be any. I mean… Alastor is a tall gentleman, ain’t he, and maybe the baby will be as big as the daddy? And you are at the very end of your pregnancy.” Rosie patted his shoulder.

Alastor kissed his mate’s neck, where he bit her, and spoke in a calming tone. “Don't worry your pretty head about it, all will be well.”

He was pouring the water when he heard her shriek and a call of his name. The worst possible scenarios came to his mind, but he was somewhat relieved when he found her in their bed. At first he didn’t see the issue, until he saw the big wet spot under her, the soaked sheets. His smile crept upwards, just like her own did. She just leaned to the side and picked up the phone, calling Rosie.

Alastor needed a second before he got down to helping her. While she was on the phone, he got out warm towels and warm water to bring into the guestroom. He fluffed the bed as much as he could before going back to the bedroom. The sight waiting for him made his heart tighten, Y/N was struggling to get out of the bed because of the size of her belly. He immediately rushed to her rescue. “There, there, doe.” He got her up on her two feet and looked down between them, he only saw the belly obviously, but not for long. He got her a towel and wiped away the fluid of her womb on her skin, then helped her change into a nightgown. He sat her down into the armchair so he could quickly change their soaked bedding.

“I can help, you know.” She said from the armchair with a toothy grin.

“Ha! No.”

“I want to, and I will he—“ she suddenly felt a caress on her tummy, his shadow. It made her sit back down, enjoying the cool stroking on her warm skin. She was unaware of the shit eating grin on Alastor’s face. She was his mate, he always knew what she needed, which was perfect in her pregnant state. Her hormones made her hot always, loose dresses were completely overtaking her closet. And Alastor always made sure that they had a shit ton of ice at home.

When the bed was clean, he picked her up again and brought her to the guest room, gently putting her down on the bed. He made sure everything was in place before kneeling next to the bed beside her, taking some time to say goodbye to the bump.

He caressed and kissed her skin. “I can’t wait to meet you, my litt—“ He noticed her face screwing up and her whole body tensing. “What is it?!” He went into panic mode immediately.

“I-I think it’s the contractions. I had a few before, but they weren’t s— OW!” As if on cue, Rosie stormed into the room. Of course, looking perfect and fabulous as always.

“I see Mama is getting contractions.” She put her bags down that contained every supply that would be needed for delivering. The back of her hand came up to stroke Y/N’s forehead, an attempt to calm her down. Rosie went in front of the bed and flipped Y/N’s dress up, to see where they were. She checked her and began giggling. “Oh, my! The baby isn’t really wasting any time, I believe we can begin. Darling, I need you to spread your legs as wide as you can.”

Alastor’s ears were twitching, this was it. “What can I do to help?!” He was restless, he needed to help his mate.

“Get behind her and hold her legs!” The cannibal woman instructed. And of course, he complied.

He took off his shirt and got behind Y/N, he knew that the feeling of his skin on hers would calm her down.

Her skin nearly burned his, but she just gave him a smile and laid the back of her head on his shoulder.

“Rosie, is she supposed to be this warm?” He was stressing, like… really stressing.

“Hmm, let’s try taking this nightgown off, okay, dear?” Y/N nodded her head eagerly, desperate for anything to cool her down.

Alastor gently peeled her dress off and held her legs back. He was truly amazed how his doe’s body fought to birth their baby. How her legs naturally bowed for easier delivery. He felt her body tense and her delicate hand tightened on his arms. She started pushing with all of her might.

“Just push whenever you feel the need to.” Rosie’s fingers started pressing down on her lower tummy and womb, checking the baby’s position. “Okay, lovely, the baby is in the right position.”

She was whimpering in his arms, tears were flowing down her cheeks. It broke his heart, seeing her in such pain and knowing that he was the one who put her in this position. But he also knew that in a matter of minutes, they would have their own fawn to hold. He kissed her and embraced her from behind. “It hurts so much, Alastor…”

“My love, it will be over soon. Soon, you will hold your little baby in your arms, our little baby. You are so strong, I know you can do it.” That urged her to push harder.

“Good, good. I can see the head!” Rosie reached in to help the baby’s shoulder out. A thing about hellborn babies, they are beautiful and different from human newborns.

Seconds later, het body tensed for the final time and she let out a huff of relief. Then there was silence, until a little cry was heard. Moments later, Rosie put the wailing baby on Y/N’s naked chest, and she gently enveloped the baby in her arms, with eyes full of tears.

“Oh, my baby!” Alastor reached forward and checked the baby. “Ten tiny fingers, ten tiny toes.”

“Congratulations, my deers! You’re parents to a beautiful baby boy!” Rosie spoke, while bringing the water and tower to clean the baby and Y/N.

The baby was gorgeous, looking exactly like Alastor. Dark red fur, big red eyes, but there were certain elements from his mama. While he had Alastor’s eyes, they were framed by his mama’s doe eyes.

He was clean and bundled up, resting in the embrace of his parents. “Let me get some water and something sugary!” Said Rosie before leaving the room.

“What are we naming this little one?” Asked Alastor, his eyes were warm and full of love towards his baby.

“He looks like a little gentleman, so something elegant. How about… Vincent Hartfelt?” It fit their baby perfectly, so they stuck with it.

After Rosie came back and Y/N gulped down the water, they were talking in more detail about the healing process. Alastor didn’t hear a word, he was busy cradling the tiny fawn to his chest, letting his tiny cheek nuzzle into his father’s fur.

“You might bleed for a bit, so baby Vincent won’t be the only one with diapers.” Rosie joked. “And if you feel sore, a hot bath always helps. And—“

Both Rosie and Alastor snapped their heads towards Y/N when they heard a weak whimper from her. She was gripping the sheets again, her body tensed up completely. “Probably just your body recovering from birth, darling.”

But in the next few minutes, while Alastor was putting the baby into the crib, Y/N started pushing more frequently, until she spoke with a panicked voice. “Something is happening!” She said between her clenched teeth, body shivering from the intense pain.

The cannibal woman wasted no time to get between her legs again. “OH SHIT! The other fawn is coming.”

“The other what?” The deers said in unison.

“No time for chit-chat, I see the head!” The doe pushed with all of her remaining strength, and a wet sound indicated that their other fawn was out, followed by a sweet cry.

Y/N once again embraced the baby, the mates blinked at it, still surprised from the dramatic entrance. Moments later, the shock turned into joy. Rosie delivered the placenta, her body indicating that there were no more fawns coming.

A quick clean up by Rosie and the second little bundle was wrapped up too.

“A healthy girl!” Both of them kissed around the baby doe’s tiny face, which was followed by a sleepy coo. She was gorgeous, and a perfect clone of Y/N. She also had her father’s colors and red dark eyes.

“What a beauty… She looks just like her Mama, I always knew your beauty will bless hell even more so.” Said Alastor, who was trying hard not to tear up, Y/N hadn’t even bothered minding the happy tears running down her cheeks.

“We each got our little clones, Vincent will grow into the most handsome gentleman in hell!” The need to hold her other baby consumed her. You really thought the motherly instinct would settle? They are just getting started. “By the way, what would you like to name this little one?” the doe asked, looking at Alastor with big tearful eyes.

“Heidi. Heidi Hartfelt.” He just knew that as he was looking down at his child.

“It’s perfect.” Y/N nuzzled the side of her face to her mate’s cheeks. “I love you, and I love our babies. Forever, and ever.”

“Oh, my darling. I love you more than words can say, my love for you and the fawns go beyond everything and anything. I would die for you a million times more.” He kissed her deeply, both of their tails wiggling in excitement.

While Rosie held the baby girl, Alastor carried his doe back into their bedroom. Once she was in bed, under the sheets with her back leaning against the many feathery pillows, Alastor came up beside her with Vincent in his arms and Rosie handed Heidi to Y/N.

Rosie stayed for a little bit, in case any after birth effect happened to Y/N that would need to be tended to. She was sitting in the armchair beside the bed, sipping some tea. “I cannot say I’m surprised. The twins explain the huge belly, I should have known. But look at that size difference!” She was onto something, Vincent was much bigger than Heidi. “And, proper deers have twins most of the time, I didn’t think that was also true for deer sinners.”

“I am overfilled with joy that Heidi decided to come along.” Alastor said proudly.

After Rosie shared and wrote down some tips and stuff for them, she left, but not before giving both the babies and their mama a kiss on the forehead.

“So then there were two…” Y/N said out of nowhere, admiring the little fawns she gave life to.

“Then there were two.” Said her mate, also lost in the love he felt. “My darling, I could never thank you enough for giving us two beautiful babies. I could never thank you enough for letting me take care of you, and welcoming me inside of you, both body and soul. I promise you, there will never be a second when I won’t protect you, care for you and cherish you.”

“I know. I am so proud to call you my mate, and I know I am the happiest I can be. Because of you, and these little ones.”

As if on cue, Vincent woke up and started fussing around restlessly in Alastor’s arm, he weeped quietly. Which of course, caused his sister to wake up too, but she shrieked with all of her might. Y/N’s instincts instantly knew what was going on, her fawns were hungry. “Hold her for a second?” She passed Heidi to Alastor to remove the top of her nightgown. His breath hitched in his throat when he saw the milk already dripping from her nipples. He gave her Vincent and he managed to latch on easily, however Heidi was putting up quite the fight.

“Oh, little darling… If you would stop screaming for a second, you could see that Mama is trying to feed you.” Alastor chuckled, he gently got a hold on the back of her head, and with the other hand, he guided his mate’s nipple into the wailing mouth. And from the on, the only thing that was heard in the room was the eager suckling. Y/N leant her head back, while holding and nursing two babies at once.

“You just feed, my loves, you must be so hungry and tired. You spent so much time growing this beautiful in my tummy…”

Alastor thought he might burst with pride, his doe was so very clever. His chin was resting on her shoulder, his eyes were relaxed, and his fingers were constantly stroking a fuzzy little head. He suddenly noticed with a chuckle that Vincent had a drop of milk running down his chin, so he reached down and wiped it away, only to put his finger into his own mouth and tasting the sweetness on it. “I must say I am quite jealous.”

Y/N giggled and whispered into his ear in a seductive voice. “Plenty more from where that came from, as soon as I heal, mommy and daddy can have their own feeding.” She pressed a kiss beside his lips, that had a love dazed grin on them. “Oh, would you look at that!” Both babies were asleep, each having a nipple hanging out of their mouths, completely milk drunk.

They couldn’t let them sleep without burping them, so their little stomach wouldn’t get upset from the excess air. The buck was about to get up to put the babies into the nursery, when Y/N spoke, still snuggling both babies into her arms. “Can you please bring the crib beside our bed? Please, I cannot bear to be away from them.” She said, using her doe eyes.

His eyes softened even more, his mate’s wishes were his commands.

With a snap of his fingers, two bassinets appeared in front of their bed. “Good night, my tiny fawns.” Y/N pressed one more kiss to the foreheads before handing them to Alastor. Once they were bundled up and fast asleep, he leaned into the bassinets and planted kisses on each faces.

He fluffed himself beside his love and she nuzzled herself into him with a purr. “Rest up now, my love. You did so amazing, but you need to let your body rest.”

“I know.” She mumbled, half asleep and snuggled into him completely.

He couldn’t help falling asleep with a big smile on his face. No one in hell beside his little family knew that the Radio Demon never felt happier.

“Lyra, it’s impossible that Y/N was unaware that she was having twins!”

Hold my beer.

Jokes aside, I hope you liked it! And I want to say that the support I got for these series really means a lot to me, so thank you<3

taglist: @jyoongim @lovingyeet @adamwarlockislife-blog @that-dumb-bitch @midorichoco @alastorswifeee @littlekacchan @sugurubabe @captainfia @alastorssimp @iheartalastor @speedycoffeedelight @1o-o @kimmis-stuff @qu1cks1lversb1tch @chibistar45 @the-maladaptive-daydreamers @lillylovesalastorsm1

[siddyyyyyyyy]

Hello! How are you? Can I lose for a reader with chronic leg pain? After an accident they chose not to amputate their leg and they feel very strong pain and were recommended by doctors to use marijuana and the reader kind of doesn't tell Jason? 🌸🌸🌸🌸

You smoke?

Jason Todd x Reader

wc: 0.6 K summary: Jason finds you smoking weed for medical purposes warnings: use of weeds, fluff, mentions of chronic pain a/n: I'm good, thank you!!! I won't put any pretty pictures in here because I'm afraid of it getting taken down😭😭😭but the divider is really pretty (here): @animatedglittergraphics-n-more, also sorry this came out so short, enjoy!!

After moving in with Jason, you didn‘t think of telling him about the weed. It was necessary, so you feel sure that he won‘t mind if you get to tell him one day. As usual, you build a joint on a peaceful evening, and settle yourself on the balcony. You watch as the busy streets of Gotham fill with hundreds of cars, passing by under your balcony and create a rather relaxing atmosphere. Finally, you take a drag and exhale slowly, waiting for the drug to work.

The first drag feels like a relief, feeling light tingles across your body for a moment before you relax into the chair. You take the moment to calm down and close your eyes, to forget about everything around you. The rough back pain that was lingering on you, slowly fades into the background, finally starting to enjoy the light breeze around you.

It works, after a few more drags, however you jump up at the big figure beside you, not having noticed it before. You act on instinct and throw the lit joint at it, seeing how it falls to the floor after hitting its chest.

Jason keeps his eyes on you behind his mask, staying as still as possible. He doesn‘t know how to react, thousands of thoughts racing through his mind, many of them being possible worst case scenarios.

Before he could think of something to say, you exhale and speak up, realising who it is.

»Jesus, don‘t scare me like that… I was just taking some drags, no need to give me a bad trip.« You mumble out and get off the chair with a low groan, suddenly not as relaxed as before. Jason keeps standing in front of you, finally gathering his thoughts.

»Since when… why do you smoke that?«

You pay attention to him, realising you still haven‘t told him about it. Sure, he knows all about your chronic back pain and how it came to that, but he doesn‘t seem to connect the dots.

So, you try to explain as best as you can, while being high.

»I, uh… you know, my back? The pain? I have to… to smoke because of that. Doctor told me, I have two doctors, one to give advice for the best weed and the other—«

»The best weed? What, is he a drug dealer or something?« Jason interrupts, gently guiding you back inside with his hand on your lower back.

His retort made you chuckle, resulting into a brief giggle-fit before being serious again.

»No… maybe. I don‘t know, but it works. Really, I‘m not joking, I tried to tell you before, but… never came to that.« You shrug and slowly sit down on the couch. He follows suit.

»And how long have you been doing this? How many times a week?«

You think briefly before answering him, easing his nerves at the same time.

»Only when the pain becomes unbereable, like now. So… probably, like, about every three months. Once, I mean.« He nods in thought and sighs out in relief, finally taking his mask off after hearing your reply. Jason was genuinenly afraid this was something you struggled with and was a serious problem he somehow didn‘t take notice of before.

Seems like there‘s nothing to worry about after all. He carries you to bed and gets out of his suit before joining you in bed and caressing his hands over your back soothingly. You end up falling asleep in no time, curled up against his chest and dreaming about whatever your high brain comes up with.

a/n: i think he would be really scared when he catches you smoking, but he is an understanding man, so there's nothing much to worry about. maybe he'll try to sneak in 'healthier' methods whenever you're in pain

←MASTERLIST

[lokidjarin-7567]

Day 10: Mile High Club

Aaron Hotchner x you

Contents: fem!reader x Aaron Hotchner, established relationship, semi-public

W/C: 1.1k

I’m sorry I’m so late but I’m back on track ish!!! Please be patient, and thanks for the love on my last few fics. Spam posting a couple of days now to make up for it <3

Kinktober Masterlist | General Masterlist | AO3

As soon as he had mentioned it was just you and him going on the jet, you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it.

You had been seeing each other for a few months now. Well, not seeing exactly. Fucking.

It was good. He was good. Firm but not too aggressive. Dominating but not controlling. He knew your limits, could tell from your body language and expressions what you liked, what you needed, when you were close.

It was the perfect way to destress. You knew it was impractical and short sighted. That it could get you fired. That it could get your feelings hurt. Or worst of all, that it would get in the way of your work.

But the way he was eyeing you now as he sat across from you on the jet, pretending to read the case files… every rational thought left your mind.

“What?” You muttered, after catching his eye for the fourth time.

“Nothing, it’s just a… nice shirt.” He was trying so hard to be calm, nonchalant, but you saw through him so easily.

“This one?” You feigned ignorance, fingers fiddling with the collar, and running up and down the buttons. He just nodded coldly in response. You smiled innocently, slowly and meticulously unbuttoning the top one. You were barely showing anything - a hint of collar bone at most - but his eyes were now fixed to the exposed spot. There was no other expression on his face, so you carried on, desperate to break him, fingers delicately tracing lower until you made it to the next button. You peeled shirt open slightly, finally revealing some cleavage. His restraint was evident, hands beginning to bunch the paper he was holding, eyes raking over your whole body. You blushed, suddenly shy. His lack of movement was making you doubt yourself, but you didn’t need to.

Something in him snapped. The way you were looking at him, the soft flush of pink across your cheeks, the hint of your bra showing over your shirt…

He had pulled you onto his lap in seconds, lips finding yours furiously. Fingers undoing the last of your buttons as quickly as possible. Kisses pressed frantically to your chest.

“Fuck, I’ve missed this.” He muttered in between breaths. You scoffed, rolling your hips into him as his hands drifted lower.

“It’s only been a week, Aaron…” You whispered, fingertips moving to his own shirt buttons regardless, near ripping them open with a desperation that surprised even you. He chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to the base of your neck.

“Hypocrite.” He whispered into your ear, and you giggled, pulling his lips back to yours where they belonged.

It wasn’t long before you were riding him, his hard length pressed deep inside you as you rolled your hips, quiet pants of pleasure echoing around the small cabin.

“Do you like this, huh? Knowing the pilot could hear us and find my cock inside of you at any moment.” An involuntary moan escaped your lips at that, and you blushed in embarrassment. ”You want someone to find us that bad, honey? I guess I’ll just have to make it harder to stay quiet then…” The rough pads of his fingers traced down your torso, then slipped under your skirt, finding that sensitive bundle of nerves with perfect precision. You bit your lip to keep from moaning, and he grinned. “That’s it, baby… come on, I know you can do better than that…” The pace he set was perfect, not too slow, not too fast, just the right pressure and coupled with the way he was grinding up into you…

His teeth latch onto the exposed flesh of your breast, sinking in with a biting pain, and you couldn’t help yourself as a low, guttural moan escaped your lips. He smiled into your chest, lips now pressed against that spot, kissing it better.

“Good job, baby…” Your whimpers were uncontrollable now, quiet but desperate, as you got closer and closer to that pleasure you had become so accustomed to in the last few months with him.

“I’m close, Aaron…” You managed to choke out between whines, nails digging into his shoulders to anchor yourself as best as you could while your body was turning to jelly under his touch. His teeth bit into you again, and there was something about the way he was marking you, the way he wanted you to moan louder. He wanted you to remember who you belonged to. That even if the team couldn’t know, you were branded with his teeth. Nobody else could touch you. And God it was hot. You came on his cock, a symphony of pants and whines and curses of his name. He stayed inside you the whole way through it, your body slowly melting into his until you were finally finished, muscles sore and exhausted.

"Good girl," he whispered quietly against your ear. His lips found your forehead, pressing a series of soft, reverent kisses there. The gentle gesture sent a shiver down your spine. You felt a warmth spread across your cheeks, a blush rising to your face. There was a part of you that thought felt embarrassed by this display of softness, this vulnerability you were allowing yourself. It wasn't like you to be so pliant, so openly affected. And yet, in this moment, wrapped in his arms, you found you couldn't bring yourself to care.

Your body was still humming with the aftershocks of your release, muscles pleasantly sore and limbs heavy with satisfaction. You allowed yourself the luxury of simply existing in this space, taking the time to catch your breath and recover. Your head rested against his chest, and you found yourself lulled by the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It was a soothing metronome to the gradual slowing of your own pulse.

As the haze of pleasure began to clear, you became aware of your surroundings once more. You shifted your hips, adjusting your position slightly, and then you noticed something… he was still hard, his arousal evident where your bodies remained joined. His hands settled on your hips once more, and he pressed his lips to yours softly, noticing your realisation hit you.

“It’s ok, don’t stress it…” he muttered, moving to lift you off him, but you grabbed back onto him, settling onto your knees and smiling widely at him before deepening the kiss.

“How long until we land?” You asked.

“About two hours…” Another grin. Another kiss.

“Then I think I can help you out…”

[noyzinerd]

More Than Just A Body (Swap)

Thinking about a post-body swap Sterek fic.

One that fully takes place after a body swap has already been reversed (like, a sequel to a non-existent fic--where they swapped bodies, had to live as the other, got switched back, yet didn't get together by the end--that's constantly alluded to, but we never actually get to read), so we only see the aftermath.

Derek is super irritated and snippy for days after they get back into their own bodies. Stiles thinks it's because Derek feels pissed and humiliated he had to relive to highschool with insufferable teenagers, be helplessly human and weak, and generally listen to authority again (his dad). It definitely bums Stiles out to think that Derek found living his life so deplorable that he's still angry about it. So now both of them are upset and sort of avoiding each other.

It isn't until two weeks later, when their stand-off is starting to effect pack business, that Stiles gets fed up and confronts Derek.

"What's your deal, man? You've been super shitty ever since we swapped back. It's been two weeks. How can you still be mad about living as me? What, was doing the dishes and being forced to write 5,000 words about the Louisiana Purchase seriously that terrible? Look, I'm sorry you had to deal with my stupid, tissue-paper body for so long, but you can't just-!"

And before you know it, Derek has him shoved up against a wall. He's still pissed, yeah, but, for some reason, he also looks...hurt and broken inside.

"Your body isn't stupid, Stiles! It was the best thing to happen to me in years!"

Stiles is stunned speechless. Derek's fingers are trembling around the grip he has in Stiles' shirt. There's so much pain in those green-blue eyes that it actually aches to look in them. It looks almost like grief.

Like Derek is in mourning.

Derek's not crying, but his eyes are definitely shinier as he continues, "You have no idea what you have, Stiles. What I had. For the first time since the worst fucking day of my life, I got to do normal things, like chores and sports. Not a single person expected anything of me o-or looked to me for answers. I didn't have to worry about fucking up and getting people killed, because the smartest guy I knew was taking care of my body like it was something precious. And all I had to do in return was live your beautiful, quiet life. A life where someone gently woke me up for school and nobody found me too intimidating to get close to.

"I got to know what it was like to be loved by a father again, Stiles! To say the words 'I love you, too, Dad' when I didn't think I'd ever get another chance. I-I got to be hugged and have people smile at me like they were glad to see me and I'd get to look in the mirror in the morning to the sweetest smile at the start of my day and hear your voice every time I talked. It was perfect." Somehow, Stiles has found his face streaked with tears even though the tears valiantly sticking to Derek's lashes still haven't fallen as his voice breaks over his words.

"A-and now? All I get to wake up to is me." The word is spit out with acid and venom. "I get to wake up alone in a cold, silent, empty, concrete room and look at a face in the mirror that makes me sick. I get to go back to my pathetic fucking life where I have to choose between literally fighting against an endless wave of people out to kill me or using my family's blood money to buy myself a microwavable dinner for the night. The only difference is that now...now I'm haunted by the feel of your fingers through my hair, your arms wrapped around me," at this, Stiles can feel his heart cracking apart at the thought of Derek using his body to simply hug himself, "y-your voice telling me that I'm going to be okay, and just-just the sight of your skin and your eyes and-and-I just, I can't, Stiles, I-I can't-!"

Stiles is clutching Derek so tight to him in an instant, tucking him into his neck and slowly lowering them to the ground as Derek collapses and sobs into him.

---

Once the tears are all dry, Stiles finally picks up the courage to be vulnerable too. He owes it to Derek.

At least it'll be easier now that he can't see the werewolf's reactions.

So, as he's stroking the other's hair, Stiles tells him about how he wishes Derek could see the man he fell in love with the way Stiles can.

He tells him about how he fell in love with a man whose heart is so big and full of kindness that he physically cannot stop himself from helping people, no matter how much he likes to pretend that he doesn't care.

The man he loves is powerful, resilient, and stronger than any one person has any right to be, yet so fragile as to be afraid of loving someone too much because he might be shattered.

The man Stiles loves is smart, sassy, thoughtful, stubborn, awkward, grumpy, sweet, and so so deserving of hugs and smiles and kisses and praise, because Derek is and has always been more than just a body.

Stiles tells him about how, during their swap, he made sure to take warm baths with nice smells, nap in cozy blankets, and massage his hands and feet with lotions because Stiles wanted to take care of Derek's body as much as he could while he got the chance. He did it because he wanted to help Derek and this was the only way he thought he could.

If there had been even the slightest indication that anything more would've been well received, Stiles would have already done it. All he wants is permission.

"Please...let me take care of you?"

---

So, slowly, day by day, Stiles enfolds Derek into a gentle life.

Stiles is Derek's strongest advocate, his extra set of hands to help carry his burdens, his pillow, his introduction to new things and new people.

They're always wrapped around each other, all the time, almost like Stiles is scared of Derek getting cold.

Despite the confession, things remain G-rated for a while. Cuddles, hand-holding, caresses, just touching. Shy kisses eventually make an appearance after some time, but they remain sweet, loving little things.

Stiles makes it perfectly clear that he's fine waiting to make a move until he's sure being intimate can't possibly be mistaken as anything else. He needs Derek to understand that this isn't obligation or pity. Stiles loves Derek. And Stiles is going to take his time because he wants Derek to feel loved beyond his body, no matter how long it takes.

By the time Derek feels whole again, now living with the Stilinskis and smiling softly as a default expression, they find themselves in front of the bathroom mirror having their first time together.

It's definitely not kinky. Mostly reverent, full of "It's okay, I'm right here", fingers laced tight together, flashing eyes, and a bit of emotional tears. It's gentle and assuring, with promises of never being alone again, and whispers of "so beautiful" and "so sweet" and "so perfect". Climax is rewarded with praises, hands stroking up arms and down backs, and "I love you"s are slurred through dropped fangs and traded back and forth between kisses

But as expected, finally having sex doesn't magically make Derek love himself. It's still a long road. Because even if Derek doesn't completely hate his life anymore, there are those hard days where he still has problems with 'being Derek'.

And maybe one day Derek will learn to love the body he lives in.

Until then, Stiles will just have to love it for him.

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Wasteland, Baby

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

WC: 3.4k

TW: Mentions of Murders, mentions of suicide, discussion of suicide, trauma, emotional turmoil, death, arguing, abandonment issues, commitment issues, Angst, some fluff

A/N: Thanks for bearing with me as I try to get off the struggle bus y'all. here is the highly anticipated part 2 of Stick Season !

All the fear and the fire of the end of the world Happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl Happens great, happens sweet Happily, I'm unfazed here, too

It had been three years since you left the BAU and you had just turned down a job at the FBI from Erin Strauss. You never heard from her again. 

But you did attend her funeral in D.C a week later.

You didn’t alert any of the BAU that you were returning for her funeral, since you could only imagine the pain they were feeling. 

The plane ride was filled with thoughts of what life would have been like if you had rejoined the FBI. Maybe she wouldn't have died. Maybe she’d still be calling you and sending you email after email with job offers. 

You had quickly stopped by the wake, the day before, to pay your respects, and give Strauss’ family your deepest condolences. It was painful, seeing someone you spoke to last week, stiff, lifeless, in a coffin where they will be for the rest of time. 

But the worst part was the burial. 

Blending in at a funeral has never been a strong suit of the BAU’s, except for you. You were calm, respectful, and blended in with the rest of the spectators. 

Until you looked across the circle and saw Aaron Hotchner looking directly at you. Whatever he had been feeling before, was quickly wiped away when you looked back at him, confirming his suspicions that you were here, in the graveyard. The look on his face was replaced with a more somber one as he redirected his attention back to the priest, but you knew you would be unable to just leave now that you had been spotted. 

Once she had been lowered into the ground, Hotch made his way towards you, catching his colleges interested. Where was he going? Who was he looking for?

“Y/n.” 

You smiled at him. It didn’t reach your eyes, but it wasn;t fake either. 

“It’s good to see you Hotch.” 

“I didn’t know you were going to be here today.” 

You nodded and looked over as the rest of the people migrated towards their cars to go to the reception afterwards. “I didn’t make it public information, considering I was planning on leaving after the ceremony. I’m just here to pay my respects Hotch.” 

“She called you.” 

“Yes she did.” 

“And she said you turned it down.” 

“I did.”

“Why.” 

“Hotch, please.” 

He took your elbow and pulled you away from the people, giving the two of you some semblance of privacy. 

“Will you at least think about it?” 

“What is there to think about Hotch? I don’t want to—” 

“I wish you wouldn’t lie to me. I know you miss it Y/n. I’m not just some colleague, and you know that.” 

You closed your eyes and pinched your brow. You knew coming to this funeral was a mistake. But some part of you, one that you had silenced for a very long time, was starting to break through. 

“We can talk later.” 

Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you

“I cannot believe you’re going back.” 

You sighed and continued to pack up everything you owned into boxes. You had only broken down the ones from a few years ago–that same part of you had saved them for whenever you had recognized you were ready to be back in Washington D.C. 

“Don’t ignore me. I thought you were done with hunting bad guys and certain doctors with glasses.” 

You slammed your hands on the table, causing Lucille to jump. 

“Sorry.” You muttered and slowly sunk to the ground, deciding it was just easier to sit on the ground and have a breakdown rather than talk it out. 

“I’m not going back for him…I’m going back for me. This…” You ran a hand through your hair. “This is n’t what I was meant to do, Luce. I’m not a teacher. I’m okay at it, but…I was meant to be in the field. Teaching is challenging, but not in the way I need. And fuck, I love my kids, you know that I do, but it’s just…”

“It’s not who you are.” She came and sat down next to you, taking your hand in hers. “I’m gonna miss you asshole.” 

You rested your head on her shoulder and squeezed her hand. “I’m going to miss you so much.” You whispered back to her. 

“You have to visit me. I’ll get lonely up here.” 

A smile spread across your face as a tear slowly tracked down your cheek. “ You have my permission to hunt me down and beat the shit out of me if I don’t.” 

“Oh don’t worry, I will.” 

All the things yet to come are the things that have passed Like the holding of hands, like the breaking of glass Like the bonfire that burns That all words in the fight fell to

Your desk stayed pretty empty for the first two weeks you were back—like you were terrified that if you got too comfortable, life would pull the rug right out from under you again and you’d have to leave. 

It was Garcia who first noticed this, watching as you’d pack everything up into your tote bag each night before you would go home. She didn’t say anything about it though, since you were not the same girl the BAU had grown to know. 

You were different, quieter. You spoke when you had something to add, or to correct somebody, but you never participated in the banter; you never stayed longer than absolutely necessary. If the group had decided to surprise you at your new apartment, they would find it covered in boxes—walls bare, fridge almost empty, only essentials like clothes and toothbrush unpacked. 

But you had never been better. Hotch had you start consulting side cases when you came back, a way to get you used to the routine of being back in the office, back in the FBI. You would consult up to three new cases a day, still helping with those that would call back a day or week later for updates or more help. They watched as you easily solved things in minutes, that might have taken the team hours. 

The first time Morgan called you ‘Girl Genius’ to your face, you punched him in the arm (admittedly a bit harshly). But he wasn’t wrong. You could feel the continuous excitement flowing through your veins; your muscles flexing as you settled back into the thing you were the best at. 

You were different, but better. 

Spencer noticed this too. He watched as you confidently answered every question thrown at you. He watched as you consulted on cases and noticed patterns he had missed. 

Spencer had missed you, badly. He knew he fucked up when he had left that night, needed to go and he spend the night away, thinking about his life; his future. Panic had flooded his body at the thought of you being the one forced to take care of him, forced to deal with his shit history and addictive personality and his annoying ass rambles. He didn’t want to subject you to that. 

But then he remembered the look on your face—the pure excitement and adoration at the thought of being able to spend every single minute of your life calling him yours. And once the panic had subsided, he felt that same joy. 

When he got back to the house, you weren’t there. 

You weren’t at work either. 

You had just vanished, and about a day later, all of your things had disappeared too. 

And Spencer was a fucking wreck. He was useless at work, and he spent so much time trying to find you, but Penelope wasn’t able to find a thing, and by the time she did, it had been months later, and you clearly didn’t want to be found. 

Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you

It didn’t help that seeing you again in Vermont made him want to melt on the spot. A great deal of relief washed over him, seeing you were alive and in front of him. But then he felt the anger rise in him. You had abandoned him, you had just disappeared without a second thought. 

Then he remembered the look on your face when he panicked about marrying you.

You had thought he didn’t want to marry you. 

You had no idea that he felt like he was the the problem, and if he told you know, it would just sound like a fucking excuse. 

Watching you walk back into the bullpen and set up at your desk was another slap in the face. It feels like nobody tells him anything, because they don’t. But then he realized that only Hotch knew about it because everyone froze on the spot seeing you sitting at your desk, working. 

At his desk, he would just watch you. On the plane, he would watch you. And he tried so hard to be nonchalant about it, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Your hair, your legs, your arms, your lips—he wanted to take your hand and never let you go, fusing your skin together so he could be with you always. 

He was in love with you. And he thought you would rather die than be seen with him again. 

If only he knew that you felt the same way—you loved him right back. 

And that day that we'll watch the death of the sun To the cloud and the cold and those jeans you have on And you'll gaze unafraid as they sob from the city roofs

After about three months, infinite pining, a few longing glances passed to one another, and incessant whining from Derek Morgan, you and Spencer Reid found yourselves together at coffee one morning. 

After about a month later, you found yourself back in his apartment, lips grazing his, not being able to tell where his body ended and yours started. 

Then, the next day, he told you he loved you. 

He didn’t see you for a whole week afterwards. 

But when he walked into work that monday, and you were sitting at your desk, completely unbothered, he took it upon himself to make you talk to him. 

No one else was around, except for Hotch. But his office door was closed, and Morgan wouldn’t be around for another ten minutes anyways. 

“Where the fuck have you been?” 

You turned around in your chair and glared at him. “Excuse me?” 

“You disappeared for a week, no word about where you were going, not even telling me you were leaving.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Not now Spence.” 

“I love you.” 

“What?” 

“I still love you.” 

Your jaw dropped. “Spencer…” 

“I’m dead serious Y/n. When you weren’t here after you spent the night, I lost my fucking mind. I thought I had lost you—again. And I wasn’t about to go through that again. I had fucked up once before and I—I thought you had realized you didn’t want to be with me anymore and you had left again.” 

You were silent as he rambled on. 

“When you left three years ago, I lost my fucking mind. I sat here, staring at your desk hoping you would materialize out of thin air just so that I could apologize to you. And then when you didn’t show up, I begged Penelope to tell me where you had run off to, so I could go and find you and beg for you to listen to me while I got on my hands and knees to beg for your forgiveness. You thought I didn’t want to marry you, but I was terrified because I thought you wouldn’t want to marry me. I mean I had just gotten sober, and I thought we were doing so well and then you brought up marriage and all I could think about was how it was another way for you to find out how much you could hate me and get sick of me since—” 

You had finally snapped out the shock you were feeling and placed your hand over his mouth. “Breathe.” 

Spencer shoved your hand off his mouth, but stayed silent, taking an over exaggerated breath to prove to you he did. 

“We can talk about this later.” 

“No.” Spencer shook his head. “We’re going to talk about this now. I want to talk about this now.” 

“Spencer…” 

“How do I know that you’re not going to just pack up and disappear again.” 

“Spencer seriously? I don’t—-”

“You don’t do that? Because we both know you do. You’ve done it twice now.”

“What do you want me to say Spence?” 

“That you still love me.” His voice was low, but his eyes were locked in on yours. “I need to know if you still love me.” 

Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you

The Next Week

Another Day, Another Psychopath Killer. 

Another way for you to throw yourself into the line of fire because you have always had a soft spot for teenagers. 

Someone was targeting suicidal teens, convincing them to end their own lives, merely making him complicit in their deaths. It had sent you (and JJ) reeling. Both of you had lost someone to suicide, and watching as this person preyed on vulnerable kids who deserved to live and be loved took a lot out of the both of you. 

You had a bad feeling about this case when it was first passed onto your desk, but it just got worse and worse as the week went on. If only you had figured out who it was sooner, you might have been able to save this one girl’s life. But sometimes life refuses to relent. 

The jet was silent on the way back, none of you wanting to speak and break the silence. 

Spencer sat next to you on the couch, offering a comforting presence, and nothing else. He knew you (and it bugged the shit out of you). Years of being with one another meant that he knew when you were upset, and he knew that you despised being touched while you were like this, but you hated being alone. 

It bugged you so much, but you weren’t going to say a damn thing because having him next to you while you sat and listened to your music and spiraled was exactly what you needed. 

He only offered his hand when the plane hit some turbulence, and your entire body began to shake unconsciously. It was between the two of you, and all he did was flip it, so the palm was upwards. It was an invitation that you could immediately ignore and refuse if you wanted to. 

But something in you caused your hand to drop next to his and lace your fingers through his. 

God was it so fucking warm, and soft. You wondered if he still used the lotion you had recommended to him all those years ago when he would complain to you about his hands being “gross” and “too dry”. He absolutely did. 

He managed to hide his smile when you took his hand, but he did give yours a soft squeeze, and continued to read his book, pretending that his insides weren’t aflame and his mind was anywhere but on the words in front of him. 

He didn’t turn a page for over four minutes once your hand was in his. 

And I love too that love soon might end Be known in its aching Shown in the shaking Lately of my wasteland, baby Be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking Though quaking, though crazy That's wasteland, baby

That Night

“Thank you.” 

It was the first thing you had said in over five hours, including the plane ride. Once the plane had landed, you and Spencer went back to his apartment, and the two of you had sat in his living room, in silence. He didn’t mind, as long as he could keep an eye on you. 

Your mind was far far away. It was back in college. Thinking about your friend and about the life you could have lived if she was still with you. 

Spencer had left a cup of tea next to you, your favorite, and sat on the couch. You were situated in the chair by the window, staring out into the night, watching as the rain drops raced down the window and as the lights blurred together. 

He was close enough to provide you with some comfort, but far enough away to let you have whatever space you needed.

“Spence?” 

He snapped out of his head, looking towards you. Your eyes were tired, and your body reflected the same type of exhaustion. 

“Sorry. What do you need?” 

“I—.” You interrupted yourself with a yawn, cursing under your breath. “Shit sorry. I should probably go..” 

“It’s okay if you stay.” 

You looked out the window then back at him. 

“I’m not just saying that to get you into my bed—oh my god that came out wrong, I just mean I don’t want you out in that weather and I don’t really like the idea of you being alone tonight, especially after this case because—” 

“Spencer.” 

“---yeah?” 

“I’ll stay.” 

“O-oh. Good. good…” He nodded. “I can uh, take the couch and you can have the bed.” 

You rolled your eyes and smiled slightl;y. “You’re a gentleman, Doctor Reid, but I’m not kicking you out of your bed.” 

“But I—”

“Spence.” 

He huffed, crossing his arms as you just laughed softly to yourself, amused. 

“Why don’t we both go get ready. Together.” 

“Together?” 

You nodded. “Yeah Spence.” 

“Okay.” 

Spencer stood up, and offered his hand to you. 

And for the second time today, you took it. 

When the stench of the sea and the absence of green Are the death of all things that are seen and unseen Are an end but the start of all things that are left to do

And maybe the two of you would never be together ever again. Maybe you would. 

But something about the way Spencer would make your favorite tea, 

or the way he would save you the crossword puzzle on his morning newspaper since he knew how much you loved to solve as much as you could without his help, 

or when he would leave you notes on your desk, making you feel like a giddy high schooler all over again, or when he felt like a good start to something new

or when he would kiss you good morning and good night, promising you he’d be there whenever you woke up

or when he slowly got rid of things in his apartment to create space for your things as you moved in slowly 

or whenever a case was particularly rough for the both of you and he wouldn’t pester you to talk to him about it, instead offering his hand for you to take, and squeezing it, letting you know he was there for you

or the way he would take you on small vacations up to Vermont so you could go see all of your friends and escape from the world of the FBI

or the way he would never storm out of the apartment after an argument, but still give you the space you needed so you could both decompress without getting at each other's throats

or when he whispered every thing he would do for you for the rest of your lives so help him god when he thought you were asleep in his arms

or how he would whispered ‘I love you’ to you as you passed by while you both were working

or when he would never let you run off in the middle of the night because you would panic about whether or not this was all a dream, and one day he would wake up and not love you anymore

or when he got down on one knee and proclaimed his undying love for you, hoping you’d promised to love him forever in the same way he loved you, wanting to be with you, wanting to be near you always

made you feel like everything might be okay after all. 

Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you

[theemporium]

Oh what about sugar daddy!charles completely spoiling his girl and she just bursts into tears in the middle of a fancy shop cause she’s due on her period and all she wants is a lazy day with him

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

You didn’t mean to ruin the day.

It had been a while since you had seen Charles—around two weeks to be exact. Between meetings and factory days and races, he hadn’t been able to come see you. And because of your classes and assignments, he couldn’t fly you out to join him either.

It was tough. It really was. With the time differences and just how hectic both your schedules were, it was difficult to really sort out video calls or even phone calls that lasted longer than five minutes. All your interactions with the boy had been through texts or the bouquets of flowers he kept sending you, but it wasn’t enough.

It was him you wanted.

It was him you needed.

And then just last night you were hit with a wave of pain all over your body. Your back hurt, your muscles aches and the cramps stabbing into your lower abdomen just made you want to cry. You woke up that morning to your period and you were already so done with the day. You just wanted a simple day in as your body went through the worst symptoms.

But when Charles had finally landed and drove to your apartment to spend his break in between races with you, you didn’t have the heart to say anything to him. You didn’t have the heart to say no when he came barrelling through the door, so perked up and excited and ready to spoil his girl after almost two weeks of nothing.

So, you let him drag you out of the apartment. You let him pack you up in his fancy car with their new leather seats and drive into town. You let him drag you from shop to shop as he swiped his card like it was nothing more than a wave of a wand.

But this wasn’t what you wanted. You didn’t want him spending money on you or buying you a bunch of new things. You didn’t want him making you his own little model, trying on different dresses and shoes.

You just wanted a day in with him, cuddled up on the couch with his back pressed against your chest and his hands resting on your stomach as he held you through the worst of the cramps and pain. You just wanted to be pressed up against him as close as you could be.

You just wanted your Charles.

You didn’t even realise the tears had started falling until you felt warm hands encompassing your cheeks. Thumbs were gently wiping away the tears that ran down your cheeks and his face morphed into one of concern.

“Ma cherie,” he murmured in a soft voice, though his worry was evident. “What’s wrong? What’s happened? Do you not like this colour?”

But you shook your head, feeling the embarrassment wash over you for the scene you were throwing in the uptown boutique. You couldn’t help yourself as you wound your arms around him, nuzzling your face into his chest as an attempt to hide yourself.

“I don’t wanna be here,” you cried into his chest. “But you’re being so nice and I feel so bad, but everything hurts and I just wanna be at home with you. I’m sorry but—”

“Shhh, it’s okay, ma belle,” he hummed as his arms wrapped around you protectively, a kiss placed on the top of your head. “You should’ve said something. I just want you to be comfortable.”

You sniffled. “I’m sorry—”

“Don’t apologise,” Charles told you before pulling back, smiling softly when he noticed the way you stared so helplessly at him. “We are gonna pack everything up here and head home. Maybe have a bath and order that Italian food you like, hm? How does that sound?”

“Perfect,” you confessed.

“Only the best for my girl,” he mused before pulling you closer. “Let’s go back home, cherie.”

.

[small-z24]

One-Shot: Shadows of Destiny

Summary:

Amidst the turmoil of a heated argument, an explosion forces Y/N to protect Azriel, resulting in both of them being injured. As Y/N tends to Azriel's unconscious form, the mating bond snaps into place, revealing their deep connection. When Azriel awakens, he must confront his feelings and the bond that has been hidden for years. Together, they face their newfound reality, united by a love that can withstand any challenge.

Word Count: 1118

Warnings: This story includes scenes of violence and injury, emotional distress, and themes of fear and guilt. There are mentions of medical procedures and some explicit language. If any of these topics are triggering for you, please read with caution.

The training room echoed with the clash of steel and the heavy breathing of the two combatants. Azriel and Y/N had been sparring for hours, their frustration and emotions fueling every strike and parry. The tension between them had been building for weeks, and tonight it had finally reached its breaking point.

"You're holding back!" Y/N shouted, her voice trembling with anger as she swung her blade at Azriel.

He deflected the blow with ease, his expression hard. "I'm not going to hurt you, Y/N."

"I don't need your protection, Azriel!" she snapped, stepping back to catch her breath. "I need you to treat me like an equal."

Azriel's jaw tightened as he lowered his sword. "You are my equal, but that doesn't mean I want to see you hurt."

Y/N’s eyes flashed with fury. "You don’t get it, do you? You never do! I’m not some fragile thing that needs to be coddled. I’m a warrior, just like you!"

Azriel’s shadows swirled around him, mirroring his agitation. "I know you’re strong, Y/N. But I can’t just turn off my feelings for you. I care about you too much."

"Care?" Y/N scoffed, tears of frustration welling in her eyes. "You think this is about care? It’s about respect. If you can’t respect me as a warrior, then what’s the point?"

Azriel took a step closer, his eyes burning with intensity. "I respect you more than anyone else. But watching you get hurt... it tears me apart."

Y/N’s breath hitched, her heart pounding in her chest. "Why? Why does it matter so much to you?"

Before Azriel could respond, a sudden explosion rocked the training room. The walls shook, and debris rained down around them. Y/N’s eyes widened in horror as she saw a large piece of the ceiling break free, heading straight for Azriel.

Without thinking, she lunged forward, pushing him out of the way. The debris struck her instead, knocking her to the ground. Azriel scrambled to her side, his shadows wrapping around them both protectively.

"Y/N!" he cried, his voice filled with panic.

She groaned, pain shooting through her body. "I'm fine," she managed to say, her voice weak. "Just... get us out of here."

Azriel scooped her up in his arms, his heart pounding with fear and guilt. He carried her out of the training room, his shadows helping to clear a path through the rubble. Once they were safe, he laid her down gently, his hands trembling.

"Stay with me, Y/N," he whispered, his voice breaking.

She nodded weakly, her vision blurring. "Azriel..."

As she lost consciousness, Azriel’s heart shattered. He had failed to protect her, failed to keep her safe. The guilt and fear consumed him as he held her close, his shadows wrapping around them both in a protective cocoon.

Y/N awoke in the healing quarters of the House of Wind, her body aching but her mind sharp. She tried to sit up, but a gentle hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Easy," Majda, the healer, said softly. "You’ve been through a lot."

"Azriel," Y/N gasped, her heart racing. "Where is he?"

Majda’s expression turned somber. "He’s alive, but he’s in bad shape. He shielded you from the worst of the explosion. He hasn’t woken up yet."

Y/N’s heart clenched with fear and guilt. She had pushed him out of the way, but he had still been injured protecting her. "I need to see him."

Majda nodded, helping her to her feet. "He’s in the next room. But you need to rest too, Y/N. You’re still recovering."

Y/N nodded, but her focus was on Azriel. She moved to the next room, her heart breaking at the sight of him lying unconscious, his body covered in bandages. She approached his bedside, tears streaming down her face.

"I’m so sorry, Azriel," she whispered, taking his hand in hers. "I should have been more careful."

As she touched him, a sudden warmth spread through her, and she gasped as the mating bond snapped into place. It was an overwhelming sensation, a connection that went beyond anything she had ever felt. She knew, in that moment, that Azriel was her mate.

"Azriel," she whispered, her voice trembling. "Please wake up. I need you."

Days passed, and Y/N stayed by Azriel’s side, her heart aching with the knowledge of their bond. She spoke to him, telling him stories and sharing her feelings, hoping that her voice would reach him.

Finally, one evening, Azriel stirred. His eyes fluttered open, and he looked around, disoriented. When his gaze landed on Y/N, a wave of relief washed over him.

"Y/N," he croaked, his voice weak.

She leaned forward, tears of joy streaming down her face. "I’m here, Azriel. I’m right here."

He reached out, his hand trembling as he cupped her cheek. "I thought I lost you."

She shook her head, her heart overflowing with love. "You saved me. You always save me."

Azriel took a deep breath, his eyes filled with emotion. "Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you."

She nodded, her heart pounding. "I know. I felt it too."

His eyes widened in surprise. "You did?"

She smiled, her tears falling freely. "Yes. The bond... it snapped into place when I touched you. I know you’re my mate, Azriel."

Relief and joy filled his eyes as he pulled her into a gentle embrace. "I’ve known for a while," he admitted, his voice trembling. "But I was afraid. Afraid of what it would mean for us."

She held him close, her heart bursting with love. "We’re in this together, Azriel. Always."

Their lips met in a desperate, passionate kiss, the weight of their words and the bond between them igniting a fire that had been smoldering for too long. They poured all their frustration, love, and longing into that kiss, finally allowing themselves to embrace the bond that had been waiting for them.

When they finally pulled apart, their foreheads remained pressed together, their breaths mingling. Azriel’s shadows wrapped around them both, a protective cocoon that shielded them from the world.

"I love you, Y/N," Azriel whispered, his voice filled with reverence.

"I love you too, Azriel," she replied, her heart full and whole.

In that moment, they knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, they would face them together, united by the bond that had finally snapped into place. Their love, forged in the heat of argument and tempered by their shared strength, was unbreakable. And as they stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, they knew they had found their true home in each other.

[writinginatree]

John Wick x reader - Baba Yaga's Cure for Period Cramps

Summary: Just a fluffy little comfort fic because period cramps are the worst

Afab!reader but no pronouns mentioned

"John?"

"Hm?"

"You would kill for me, right?"

Now John, sitting on the couch next to you, looked up from the book he'd been reading. He nodded, the expression on his face much too serious for your liking.

Before he could really start worrying and ask why you'd need someone dead, you whined, "Can you kill me then?"

"No." He glared at you. You knew he didn't like when you joked about things like that, but sometimes you just couldn't help yourself. "Why would you want that?"

"I'm on my period and it hurts. I'm pretty sure death is the only cure."

John's gaze softened. "Well, I'm afraid Baba Yaga has the entire next week off."

You started grumbling, but he continued, "I can offer you a hot water bottle and a massage instead of death though."

"Mhh, alright. But I want my cherry-bear, not a hot water bottle," you said, referring to a cherry pit pillow with a teddy bear shaped case you had, that could be warmed in the oven or microwave. "And if that doesn't help Baba Yaga will have to find the time to kill me after all."

John only shook his head at your dramatics and got up to heat up your bear.

While you waited for him to come back you moved around on the couch, trying to find a position the pain was more bearable in. Finally you gave up and stayed curled up with your legs pulled close to your chest and the side of your face squished against the seat.

John smiled when he came back into the room and saw you like that.

"What are you smiling about? Do you like seeing me suffer?"

You pouted and glared up at him, only half joking, but when he sat on the floor beside the couch and placed a kiss on the tip of your nose you couldn't stop the smile tugging on the corner of your mouth.

"It's not my fault you're so cute when you're suffering," John defended himself.

"And here I was thinking I'm always cute."

"Oh, you are. You're just even cuter than usual right now."

You sighed. "Unfortunately being cute doesn't help against period cramps. And it doesn't encourage the painkillers I took to work better either."

You took cherry-bear from John and shoved him under yourself.

"The painkillers don't help at all?"

"Nh-nh. The first two days it's always so bad they don't really do anything," you explained.

"Why did you never say that before?"

"I don't know. I guess it just didn't seem important? And it's not like my period is like our usual main topic of conversation or anything."

John chuckled. "No, I guess it's not. But if you're in pain that is important, so from now on you let me know if something hurts, okay?"

"Okay."

"Maybe we can get you stronger painkillers."

"Like the ones you take when you get yourself shot or stabbed all the time?" you asked with a small grin.

"Mhmm. It's worth a try. And now, tell me where it hurts the most so I can kiss it better."

Your smile widened. "That's your solution? Kissing it better?"

"Yeah."

"God, you're adorable. The world's deadliest killer, trying to make my cramps go away with kisses."

John hung his head so his hair fell in front of his face, but it couldn't quite hide the blush spreading over his skin.

You sat up, sacrificing the halfway comfortable position you'd found so you could bring your face right in front of John's. "C'mere, sweetheart. You promised me kisses."

John smiled and leant in to close the small space between your lips with a gentle kiss.

"Anything else I can do to help you feel better?" he asked after you parted.

You laid back down and John put his hand on your lower back. That was where it hurt the most, other than your stomach, and whether John was aware of it or not, the comforting warmth of his hand gave you an idea.

"Hmm, could you just lay on top of me?"

"I'm gonna crush you," John protested.

"No you won't! Promise. I think it'd help. You'd be like a warm weighted blanket and help with the pain in my back while cherry-bear warms my tummy."

"Alright, but if I'm too heavy—"

"You aren't."

John moved on top of you, but his hesitation and worry about being too heavy for you was obvious in the way he held himself up on his arms to keep most of his weight off of you.

"Come on, John, just lie down. I promise you won't crush me!"

"Okay, okay. But don't say I didn't warn you."

Finally he fully laid down on you, and you let out a content sigh. "See? You're not crushing me."

"No, I guess I'm not. But this can't be comfortable for you."

"Are you kidding? I've never been more comfortable in my life!"

John chuckled, the vibrations of the sound spreading from his chest into your body. "You're weird."

You tried to shrug, but that wasn't possible with John on top of you. Instead you turned your head to pout at him over your shoulder, saying, "But in a good way, right?"

"Mhhm. Of course." John leant in and kissed you, then he asked, "Is the pain getting any better yet?"

"Not really. But I think some more kisses might help."

John was more than happy to oblige.

[nekrosdolly]

this is based on nothing in particular but i think vergil would eat you out more eagerly while you're on your period.

cw; afab sub reader, dom vergil, pussydrunk vergil, blood drinking, very brief pussy sniffing, cunnilingus, reader is written to have pretty gnarly periods, somewhat soft vergil to start.

blood has never tasted so good, flowing steadily from your sweet cunt in ichor streams and into his mouth. while he's never been fond of getting blood on his clothing from demons, or perhaps having it stain his coat (god forbid it taint yamato), this is different. you needed him and he wanted you all the same.

your periods aren't usually so bad, but it seemed to be getting worse. especially this month- it had to have been the worst yet. vergil had gone out of his way to make sure you were beyond comfortable, hardly allowing you to leave his bed- yes, his bed, not your own. he didn't want you to be suffering without him there to support you. the blue twin was uncharacteristically doting for the entire week. while he wasn't a fan of physical affection, he kept snuggling up to you in hopes that the inhumane temperature his body keeps would be enough to dissuade your horrific cramps.

he fed you when asked, made you plenty of tea that was supposed to help, and kept a good distance when you got cranky. the last thing he needed was you, pissed off at him for trying to help. though he wouldn't blame you by any means- he was suffocating you. within good reason, of course.

vergil had brought your immense pain up to trish and lady as inconspicuously as he could as a means of asking for help. what could he do to lessen your suffering?

"give her head," trish's voice is blunt. lady nods in agreement from her spot beside the tall, blonde woman.

"orgasms make periods shorter and less painful. we would know."

you're in bed, lying on your side with a heating pad tucked to your lower abdomen. your cramps were lessened thanks to vergil's efforts (the heating pad, some tea, and food,) but not quite gone. you're wearing one of his shirts and some very loose shorts made for sleeping when vergil walks in, and he all but pounces on you. it's embarrassing, how quickly he gets a semi just from looking at you in his clothing, in his bed, smiling at him.

sharing blood is intimate, right?

you're so sweet, looking over your shoulder at him with a little smile and meager wave.

"hi, verg," you hum politely as he shrugs off his coat and sets on the coatrack hanging on the back of his door. he settles on the edge of his bed to unbuckle each strap on his ridiculous boots.

"how are you feeling?" you turn onto your back to watch him undress, gloved fingers undoing the complicated buttons on his shirt, then unzipping it. underneath lies a black tank top and like a victorian man, you swoon at the sight of his collarbones.

"um, still a little crampy, but fine," he nods once, peeking over his shoulder at you. his fists clench, then relax.

"would you like my assistance?" he stands, peeling off his grossly hot, sticky leather pants that you love because they "hug his ass." you shake your head softly, closing your eyes as another cramp storms your uterus.

"you've done enough, verg, i'm alright-" a sudden weight over you cuts you off, feeling the bed shift beside your head and hips. when you open your eyes, your dear half-devil is on top of you and damn-near purring. his hair is starting to break free from its slicked-back state, a few strands falling over his face. he looks hungry, his powder blue eyes dark and murky.

"let me help," he rasps, one leg shifting in between yours dangerously close to your cunt, "allow me."

never a patient man, he fights himself to be calm as you ponder your answer. period sex has always struck you as gross. besides, nobody wants to fuck someone while they're literally excreting blood and chunks of flesh- or so you think. the minute you nod, he's pulling your shorts off, your underwear (and subsequently, your pad,) slipping down with them.

at first, you expect him to pull his boxers down, but your eyes widen at the sight of him slithering between your legs so he's face-to-face with your bleeding cunt. he's perverted in his own special way, closing his eyes briefly as he sniffs your blood-slickened folds, making you squirm. you open your mouth in hopes of telling him to quit being weird, but he beats you to the punch when he licks a stripe up your seam, thus drawing a moan from you instead.

blood has never been so sweet. mixed with the taste of you, he's in heaven. your legs hook over his shoulders upon his guidance, his tongue delving into your leaking entrance to taste more and more gore. plush thighs hug the sides of his head, making him hiss quietly as he forces them to part. red coats his chin, nose, and lips as he eagerly fucks you with his tongue, nails digging into your skin. drowned out beneath your noises of pleasure, soft noises of his own bubble in his throat.

you should've put a towel down, an afterthought that strikes you as he withdraws his tongue from your fluttering walls to lap at your clit with hunger only a vampire might have after tasting blood. your back arches, a cry leaving you when he sucks at your pulsing clit. he'd never say it aloud, but he loves getting you off. seeing you in such a pretty state, spread out or pressed against him, moaning until your throat was raw and tears spilled from your eyes all because of him- his tongue, his fingers, his dick, whatever it may be.

to vergil's disappointment, blood continues to seep out of you and onto the bedsheets instead of in his mouth, so he suckles on your clit until he's sure you're close before rubbing it with his thumb eagerly, forcing his tongue inside your cavern yet again. he growls into your cunt at the taste again, his mind hazy with the need to keep drinking you in. he can taste your arousal mixing with crimson, fueling him to keep going. the now sharp-ish tip of his tongue prods at your spongy g-spot, a pleased purr emitting from his chest at the way you're crying out for him to continue.

the hands on your hips gain a rough quality, his once-dull nails pricking into the soft skin of your thighs and dear god, his tongue- ribbed down the sides and pointed at the very end- fucks you masterfully.

"vergil," you reach down to take his hand, your climax fast approaching, only to find a scaly mass where his human hand once was. a quick glance downwards tells you all you need to know: he's triggering, albeit only halfway. sharp, glowing blue eyes meet yours and it's like he knows you're going to cum, your tight walls squeezing his tongue like they would his cock.

"i-i love you," you whine, a sound that falls short in comparison to the volume of the slurping and squelching filling the air. your hands grasping for something to hold onto as your climax fast approaches. your lover takes your hand in his clawed one with a soft grip. your head falls back against the pillow, squirming against his mouth. he purrs, nose nuzzling into your puffy clit. the vibrations send you tumbling over the edge.

with a cry, you cum hard on his tongue. he laps up your release and blood combined, a soft moan leaving him as he tastes you so sweetly. fire lights your veins, white-hot and all-consuming as he tongue-fucks you through your heady high, thighs shaking under his rough hands. he doesn't stop, burying himself in you until you're whining, pleading for him to stop with crystalline tears that he wants to lick away. with a soft tug to his hair, you pull him off and he allows you. but not before pressing a kiss on your overworked clit.

standing from between your legs, ichor coats his face from the nose-down. it's dripping from his chin down his neck, soaking into the collar of his tank top. it's enough to make you squirm under his gaze and pull your shirt down to cover yourself. red-stained (human) tongue pokes from between his lips to lap at the blood left on them, pale blue eyes boring into your own.

"...i'm going to get a tampon in," you mutter, getting out of bed on shaky legs and meandering to his en-suite bathroom. luckily, he's kept a small stash of period products for you ever since you started dating.

in the wake of your absence, his eyes travel to the tempting bloodstain on his bed. he has half a mind to lean down and nuzzle his face into it, perhaps try to suck the crimson from the stain in order to taste you again. he doesn't. instead, he waits by the bathroom door for you to finish so he can wash himself of your fluids, albeit reluctantly.

-

in the end, when he's holding your unconscious body against his in a tight manner, soft snores falling from your lips, he presses a ghost of a kiss on the shell of your ear.

"i love you," the sound of his voice is lost with the wind blowing through the cracked window, just how he would like it to be.