#Ailith talks to the void

[ailithnight]

"This is healing."

"This?" he breathed. "This is suffering. In what world could this ever be healing?"

They paused, seeming to gather their words. "When you have an infection," they began, gentle and certain. "Your immune system doesn't ask it politely to leave. It attacks. Wages war against the foreign invaders. It is violent; miserable; painful even." They turned to him. "It is still healing."

[ailithnight]

No, but actually, this makes me feel a bit better about the state of things right now.

Cause if Assyrians 3000 years ago thought the world was ending and they were wrong; maybe we'll be wrong too.

Maybe there'll be a tomorrow. And a tomorrow after tomorrow. And a tomorrow after that. On and on and on until someday, 3000 years from now, somebody will be studying the ancient texts we'll leave behind.

And they'll read things that are parents complaining about children and children complaining about parents and everyone thinking the end is fast approaching.

And they'll shake their heads about how we worried and complained even though something similar is happening in their age. And they'll smile a small smile because something similar is happening in their age.

And they'll know the world didn't end with us just like we know the world didn't end with the Assyrians.

And maybe it'll give them hope too. That if they keep fighting they're good fight, if we keep fighting our good fight.

Then someday.

Some distant day.

Someone will look at the words left behind.

And smile.

And shake their head.

Because.

"They thought the world was ending. How silly is that."

[ailithnight]

Touched slime for the first time in memory today. The fun toy kind, not the mysterious substances kind. And have determined this is exactly how ectoplasm should feel and behave.

[ailithnight]

Had a dream last night that Danny, for some reason the dream didn't specify, was basically living in an empty classroom in Casper High. It was one of those lab rooms with the counters in front of the board. And the counter had cupboards facing the board, except the cupboard doors had been removed I guess.

So it looked like a normal empty classroom, but if you walked between the counter and board, you'd see all of Danny's stuff. Like, clothes obviously, but also a couple personal affects like a model rocket and some little mementos and of course his oddly stocked personal first aid kit.

Anyway, Danny got caught and vivisected. Dream didn't specify the details of why, just that it happened. And Danny escaped and ran to the school to try to get to his first aid kit before something something aftereffects of experimentation finished Ending him. But apparently in the time he'd been in the lab, his little living arrangement had been discovered and thrown out.

So after desperately searching the room for a minute, Danny was just kind of slumped there against the counter and dying in despair. Think he froze over the incision or something cause he wasn't actively bleeding but soon he would be.

After two months of Danny Fenton being missing, Lancer -still at the school supervising some club- saw him sneaking through the school. So obviously Lancer followed him.

Once he found him, Lancer was kind of worriedly scolding him for disappearing for two months. Then realized which classroom they were in. The one that had caused a big fuss a few weeks ago because of the little encampment that they never found who it belonged to.

Suspicion had been it was Phantom's, given the first aid kit they found and also how often the ghost was seen at the school. But oddly enough, Phantom had not been seen either in a while.

But Danny Fenton had come here. After being missing, and now that Lancer is looking, clutching at his midsection like he's in pain, he'd come here. And was obviously looking for something that he expected to be here. And he went missing before the camp was found. And Lancer isn't an idiot. He can connect the obvious dots. So Lancer drops the lecture and gentles his tone and asks what Danny is looking for.

And Danny, who has slumped down at this point, kinda tiredly slurs out "firss ay kih" (trying to say 'My first aid kit' but that's not what it sounds like). And obviously Lancer knows where those are in the school. Even has one in his classroom. So he goes and grabs it and brings it back. But Danny is rapidly deteriorating and the normal first aid kit Lancer gets isn't going to have what he needs anyway and at least he got away first.

Lancer comes back and Danny is barely conscious, only fading further when he looks at the little box in his hands. And warning bells have been ringing in his head since Lancer first saw Danny sneaking through the school, but they've been getting louder and louder the more Lancer realizes about this situation. And suddenly Lancer realizes there's blood and something ectoplasm green rapidly spreading across Danny's torso. Lancer is full of dread. Shakily he starts to lift Danny's shirt, hoping he can do something to help and save his student.

And that's when I woke up.

Hope y'all enjoyed this retelling of my overnight hallucinations. Do with them what you please.

[ailithnight]

If Omegaverse was real, I think wearing scent blockers would be culturally on par with, like, pants (guys/alphas) and bras (gals/omegas).

Even down to similar/the same layers and nuance.

[ailithnight]

I hate that we live in a world where we are rightfully afraid of mankind’s greatest advancements. 

And not because so much of humanity is bad either. I firmly believe that most people a good. But because the minority of people with malicious intent have enough power to act on that intent, and because there is very little (if anything) individuals can do to protect themselves and each other; we must push against what by all rights should be grand achievements, always asking “How could this be used against me?” 

Is that not disheartening? That for all we have accomplished, we still do not yet live in a world where all people are safe and cared for?

So I saw a post last night that terrified me but then my app crashed before I could reblog it.

Smart appliances are completely, 100% reliant on wifi? Like if there's an outage or you couldn't pay your internet bill in time and your wifi isn't working, your stove/fridge/door locks etc are rendered completely and totally unusable? The oven doesn't revert back to a basic oven/stove that you just have to operate manually? It's competely inoperable? Is that what you're telling me because that's fucking terrifying. So you're either completely locked in or out of your home if wifi goes down? Who the fuck signs up for this shit?

[ailithnight]

So nifty that the body can physically enforce a limit to how long you can stay up reading fanfic by making the words melt when you try to go too long.

[ailithnight]

Someone give me the motivation to finish my to-do list for work tonight.

It's not much. Gotta run the machine that does most of the mopping (40 minutes of steering while the machine does all the work) and a few spots to mop with a mop that the machine won't reach (20 minutes of mostly walking to the correct areas).

It'll be really easy to do as soon as I start, ADHD is just resisting me.

[ailithnight]

what do you do

when your god

prays to you

[ailithnight]

I'm not thinking about it. I am making the active decision to not think about it. If I think about it, I will spiral. I cannot spiral right now. There is work to do and life to live. So for now, I am not thinking about it.

I will remember this though. There are approx 345 million people in the US. 71 million is a lot. It's a scary lot. But it is not half. Not even a quarter.

I believe, I have to believe, that most people did not want this. That most people are kinder than this.

[ailithnight]

Just saw a wasp dragging a (presumably dead) spider thrice it's size up the wall for some reason and I am unsettled now.

[ailithnight]

A fantasy/sci-fi/fantasy sci-fi story which starts in the perspective of some English nobleman at his country estate pondering a "curios dream" he'd had, eventually being asked by some servant what has him so contemplative that morning and causing him to recount the dream. Like dreams typically are; what he recounts is vague, muddled, and meandering; without any proper plot. After the telling, he takes his breakfast and goes about his normal day in the idyllic life of a nobleman.

Then he has another dream. And another. And another. And every morning he sits and ponders and eventually recounts his dream to whoever asks him about it first. And as the story goes on, the dreams become more detailed, realistic, and begin to develop into the actual fantasy/sci-fi/fantasy sci-fi plot.

Still being told as recountings of dreams of an English nobleman.

Meanwhile the narration around the nobleman's life becomes more and more vague, muddled, and meandering. It's plotless, basically a slice of life story of this romanticized version of an English nobleman.

By the end, it's unclear whether or not the nobleman's life was real or if it was the dream and the fantasy/sci-fi/fantasy sci-fi stuff was the "real life."

[ailithnight]

Was it a bad idea to binge reread Like Betta Fish Do by @clockwayswrites instead of going to sleep when I was supposed to?

Yes.

Do I regret it?

Absolutely not.

[ailithnight]

Finally seeing the change to replies and yeh, don't like that.

Like, I get it. They wanted to maintain the function of replying to a reply, but make it look cleaner and easier to follow threads by nesting them.

I recognize that my not liking it is probably at least 76% not liking changes to familiar ui in general.

Still. Don't like that.

[ailithnight]

I need a large local friend group so I have people to throw baked goods at.

[ailithnight]

Wishing everyone who sticks their chewed gum to the underside of desks instead of just spitting it into a trash bin like a normal human being

Especially those that do so long after they should have outgrown such juvenile behavior such as by the time they get to college

A very

FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUCK YOU

This summer.