#maybe. just maybe. i'm more affected by this than i think
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hi! sorry if this is rude, I'm unsure, but I'm nonbinary and being intersex would be trans goals. (But that's really not an option with transition.)
I was curious if that thought is intersexist? Is it intersexist to want to be intersex? But then again, if it is, would that follow the same logic as "trans women are sexist"??
I'm so confused, because I searched 'transintersex' and it was just radqueer stuff, but maybe because of how I typed it in? Maybe there's not a term for intersex being gender goals other than the radqueer ones?
I'm so confused, but please tell me if I should just banish this thought or something!!
this is extremely offensive and intersexist, but i'm going to lay it down as gently as i can for you because i don't think you mean to be hurtful, but i can tell that you are very unaware that this is not okay and that you are misunderstanding what being intersex is. so let me try to help
please do not say that being intersex is "gender goals". intersex is a physical condition. it has nothing to do with gender.
intersex does not have a "look". every single intersex person looks differently. there is no one way to look or be intersex. like, not every intersex person looks like they have an intersex variation on the outside. many people pass for cis perisex people every day. intersex does not mean that you look "gender neutral" or "androgynous," so i would say that this is not a good way to look at what intersex means.
please do not identify as "transintersex," you cannot transition into being intersex. this goes to everyone, not just you.
"transintersex" is an extremely intersexist label that completely misunderstands what being intersex is. intersex variations are genetic and you are born with them. again, being intersex does not have a specific "look". every intersex person looks different, even if they have the same variations and conditions. "intersex" should NEVER be conflated with androgyny or "non binary" outward appearances. there are intersex women who pass as cis who have internal testes that don't affect their outward appearance. there are intersex men with vaginas that don't affect their outward temperance.
it sounds like what you want to look like is androgynous, not intersex. you want to look like a non binary person. that's what you're saying, and that's what you mean. non binary is its own thing and you're more than welcome to say you want to look non binary, but saying you "want to look intersex" is extremely offensive. you have your own term right there, please use it. non binary is literally right there. being non binary is not offensive to intersex people.
your gender goals are non binary people. not intersex people.
also, just so you know, this does NOT come across as a compliment to intersex people at all. it is very insulting to a lot of us. we are not non binary. please just stick with identifying as non binary, it's right there, it suits what you want. you don't need to adopt another label to express that you want to look non binary. non binary and intersex do not mean the same thing and should never, ever be conflated.
intersex is not a gender. you can't transition into it. you also can't physically transition into being intersex. that's physically impossible.
i hope that helps. thanks for asking, take care.
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We Liked Your Vibe
Pairing: Dieter Bravo x f!reader x Din Djarin
Words: 3.4 k
Rating: M (it's mostly smut folks)
Summary: Din promised Dieter to a threesome, and you have caught their attention.
Author: Mod Mouse (I know I'm not dead)
Note: Happy Holidays everyone! This is my gift to @guelyury for the secret santa exchange set up by @dieterbravobrainrotclub! Thank you @sp00kymulderrI for setting this up! I hope you enjoy your gift.
On another note, I hope to start getting back in the grove of writing. With the semester wrapped up and my life in general calming down, I hope to start posting fics again. I don't think it will be as often as I was (I can't believe I somehow put two fics a week out lol) But I'll figure out something that works. Anyways onto the smut!
“Oh what about that one?” Dieter asked excitedly, nodding in the direction of a goth looking person strolling up to the bar.
Din glanced up from his whiskey, the melting ice giving a small tink against the glass. His gaze took in the figure, but he shook his head. “Not that one. Came in with a partner.”
Dieter signed dramatically and slumped over the bar counter. Din slid his drink away to keep him from knocking it over. This wasn’t the first time tonight. “Diiiiiiiiin” Dieter whined. “That’s the third one you’ve said no to tonight.”
“Yes but all you’ve shown me are couples. I said they had to be single,” Din replied raising his highball glass to his lips.
Dieter stuck his tongue out at him before turning his head to survey the room. His dark eyes roamed the space once again. So many people with others. ‘Was no one single in the tristate area anymore?’ The thought crossed his mind and he sighed. Maybe it was just going to be him and Din tonight.
That was until you saddled up to the bar, seemingly with the weight on the world on your shoulders. Dieter’s head poked up as you ordered a shot of tequila. You sprinkled some salt on the crook of your thumb as the bartender set the glass in front of you. Quickly you lapped the salt up with one hand and down the shot in the other, the sting of the alcohol barely affecting you.
Without looking away, Dieter tugged on Din’s sleeve. “What about that one?”
Din sighed, only getting slightly fed up with his husband. But when his eyes took you in, something stirred in him. You were very attractive to say the least despite not trying too hard. The favorite shirt that you choose, more for comfort than for attraction, stuck to you in all the right places leaving Din with a nice outline to admire.
Din hummed which was the most approval he had given all night. Dieter smiled a big goofy grin and practically jumped from the barstool. Though he quickly straightened his outfit to make himself just a tad bit more presentable. Din followed soon and Dieter quickly grabbed his hand dragging the older man over.
You hadn’t noticed them approach, your mind wiring a thousand thoughts a second. It was only when you heard someone say “Ya know we saw you from across the bar and we like your vibe.” You glanced up and blushed as you took in the odd couple. One man dressed in what you would call disaster chic and the other in a very monochromatic but well put together fit.
You smirked. “You know this is a new one for me.”
The messy haired one tilted his head. “Oh and how's that?”
“Well you aren’t a middle aged straight couple who’s only way to save their marriage is to have a threesome,” You quipped.
That got a laugh from the shorter man. “We’re about as opposite as that.”
You raked your eyes over both of them smiling. “You can definitely say that.”
“Oh where are my manners? Let me introduce ourselves. I’m Dieter and this is my tall, dark and very handsome husband Din.”
Din held his hand to you and you graciously took it. The size difference from his hands against yours sent heat fluttering to your stomach. “It’s a pleasure to me you,” Din said, taking interest in your reaction.
“Uh yes um ditto,” You stuttered, still taken aback. “Too bad I’m not dressed up.” You mumbled to yourself.
Dieter chuckled. “It seems our friend here sees something she likes.”
“Hmmm? Oh um yes” You blushed quickly taking your hand back.
“So how about it? Want to see where else there's a size difference?” Dieter asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
Your eyes darted back and forth between the pair, but you shrugged your shoulders. “I actually would love that.”
Dieter’s eyes widened and he clapped his eyes excitedly. “Perfect.” He dramatically pointed to the exit. “Let us make haste and love!” He hurried towards the exit.
You couldn’t help, but giggle at the man’s antics. You hopped off the stool throwing a few ones onto the counter. “Is he always like this?” You asked Din who offered his arm to you which you gladly accepted.
“Always.” Din replied, and you followed the chaotic Dieter out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dieter talked the whole way home to their apartment. It wasn’t so bad. You sat in the back with him as Din drove, and Dieter basically went over all of the kinks he had and what they both were comfortable with. It wasn’t what you were expecting considering your past experiences, but you were thankful for it nonetheless. You laid out what you did and didn’t like to do which Dieter was very receptive too. After your check in, it wasn’t long until you were making out with Dieter, his hands roaming all of you and trying to pull you into his lap. You giggle as you carefully straddled his waist, bracing yourself on the door frame.
A low purr emanated from Dieter as he nuzzled his face into your clothed breasts. You couldn’t help but giggled as he motorboated against the fabric. With your free hand, you tangled your fingers into his curly hair, giving his scalp a gentle scratch. Dieter squeezed your hips making you squeak from the surprise. He smirked and snaked his hands up your stomach, sighing at your soft skin. You watched as he pushed up your shirt, licking his lips at the sight of your bare tits staring him right in his face.
He quirked an eyebrow at you. “I see you weren’t interested in the support tonight.”
You chuckled and kissed his forehead. “Nah, the girls needed to be free tonight.”
With both of his hands, Dieter gently grasped your breasts in his hands rolling his thumb gently over your peaking nipples. You gasped, pushing your chest forward needing more stimulation from his fingers. Dipping his head, Dieter lapped at your nipples, the chill from his drink still evident on his tongue. You shivered as he lapped at your peaks, loving the contrasting warm and cold feelings. Dieter chuckled, pausing his motions and nuzzling his cheek into your chest. Playfully he bounced your tits saying, “Well I can be their support.”
You giggled at his playfulness. “Unfortunately I can’t have you holding them 24/7.”
Dieter pouted. “But I wanna.”
You smooth his curls away from his forehead. “I’ll see what I can figure out.”
That returned Dieter’s smile. With one hand still on your breasts, he sneaked his other down your stomach once more sliding them into your pants. You gasped softly as his fingers toyed with the lacey straps. Dieter smirked. “And you said you weren’t dressed up.”
You blushed. “I wouldn’t consider underwear as dressing up.”
“On the contrary, sweetheart. I am always an advocate of showing off the fanciest of underwear.” He purred his fingers rubbed against your clothed clit. Slow delicate circles send a pulses of pleasure through your body. Soft pants escaped your lips and you pressed your head into his shoulder.
Dieter chuckled as he continued his motions, dragging his fingers all around your sensitive bits. His dark eyes caught Din’s in the rearview mirror and he smirked. “My love I believe your eyes stay on the road.”
All Din gave as a response was a grunt, but Dieter could tell how worked up Din was. Dieter chuckled to himself as they pulled into their long driveway, the car gliding over the smooth concrete. Din turned the car off, quickly unbuttoning his seatbelt and opening the driver side door. It only took a second for him to open the backseat and carefully pull you off of Dieters lap holding you in his arms.
You bit your lip as Din nuzzled his nose into your neck, his noticeable erection pressing into your stomach. “Oh and what was that about not paying attention?” Dieter teased, closing the car doors behind you. Din growled into your lips and Dieter rolled his eyes. “I’ll get the door”
Din followed Dieter up the driveway, the footsteps of Dieter’s crocs guiding him into the house. You weren’t paying attention. All of your focus was the taste of whiskey against Din’s soft lips. Quick pants escaped your lips as the warm air of the house hit your skin. Din bit your lips sliding his tongue into your mouth. Gasping your fingers tangled in his hair giving them a firm tug. Din moaned, his cock twitching inside his pants. You chuckled and nuzzled your nose into his stubbled cheek.
“Oh that’s such a nice sound.” Din blushed, dropping his gaze. You kissed his cheek leaning in close before saying, “I like hearing you moan.” That heard another twitch in his pants as he carried you into the bedroom.
With your attention focused on other things, you could finally take in the space where Din had carried you. A giant bed lay against the wall with the soft silken covers adorning the top. Memorabilia from Dieter’s collection lined the wall while Din’s areas stayed relatively minimalist. You wondered how such an odd couple ended up together.
But quickly your mind returned to the task at hand. As gently as handling an animal, Din set you in the middle of the bed. It only took a moment for him to crawl over you, encompassing you with his wide body. You bit your lips as your hands slid up his button shirt, feeling his muscles tensing under your touch.
“Mmmmm what a lovely sight you two are,” Dieter commented as he sauntered to the edge of the bed. He made himself at home by the pillows as he watched the show.
You blushed under the attention of the actor, but continued your focus on Din. Your fingers danced over the buttons, slowly opening them to reveal the skin underneath. The sight was utterly delicious and all you wanted to do was lick the saltiness as you made your way down.
With a slow pull of your hands, you touched every inch of Din’s torso earning gasps from the older man. By the time you reached the tops of his jeans, he was panting, his full erection pressing against the material. Slowly you caressed his cock, feeling the magnitude against your hand. “Shit you are big.” You said, licking your lips.
Just like his shirt, you undo the button, shifting the material down freeing his cock. It stood at attention with beads of precum already pooling on the head. With a finger, you traced the prominent vein up the shaft to the head where you gathered the precum against your finger. Curiously you brought it up to your lips, not breaking eye contact with Din as the saltiness coated itself over your tongue.
You moaned at the taste and you could hear Dieter chuckling beside you. “He tastes better than any cocktail.”
Humming in agreement you shifted yourself bringing your head closer to Din’s. But as you go to take his cock into his mouth, Din stops you with a gentle push on your shoulder. You look up, worried you did something wrong.
“I want to treat you since you were so kind to agree to this,” Din voiced, a soft pink blush on his cheeks.
You couldn’t help but blush in return. With these sorts of nights, you were lucky if the man ever went near your vagina with anything other than his cock. Din was such a considerate person that it was a shame this was only for one night. You nodded, returning back to your original position. With dexterous fingers Din pulled your pants along with the underwear off in one fluid motion. You shivered as the cool air hit your legs. Din stared at you with his dark brown eyes as he trailed slow kisses from your calf to your thighs until you could feel his breath against your wet lips.
“I’m gonna devour you, little flower,” Din purred.
Dieter rolled his eyes. “We all love your chivalrousness babe, but someone is also getting lonely. And I mean, she did want to blow someone.” Dieter commented and you couldn’t help but smirk.
With a playful roll of your head, you opened your mouth ready for Dieter’s cock. Dieter smiled pulling down the waist of his well loved yet fashionable sweatpants, his own erection popping out. You lifted your hand giving Dieter a few pumps before kissing the head. His own salty taste mixed with Din’s was like a cocktail of lust in your mouth.
That was when Din took the opportunity to take a long lick up your lips ending on a flick of his tongue on your clit. You gasped from the sudden pleasure, making you open your mouth. Dieter took the chance and slid the full length of his cock into your mouth. You gagged a little though taking no time to adjust to his size.
Dieter leaned back his head against the headboard. “S-Shit we should have found you faster.” He slowly thrusted into your mouth, your tongue swirling around and up the shaft. “D-Din we gotta keep her.”
Din hummed in agreement as he lapped at your clit. Sparks of pleasure tingled in your stomach, making you moan against Dieter’s cock. The full balls slapped against your throat as Dieter’s thrusts started becoming faster. Dieter cursed with each movement enjoying himself immensely. His gaze wandered down to watch Din as he continued to pleasure you like you were his last meal.
“Shit babe, leave some of that for me. She’s gonna need it when I cum inside her.” You moaned at the thought of his cock spilling his seed inside you. Dieter smirked his gaze meeting your eyes. “Is that something you want, doll?” He asked, his thumb tracing your cheek. You nodded the best you could, and Dieter slowly pulled out of your mouth, a trail of saliva connecting you two.
“You heard the cutie. I think it’s time for the ol’ Johnson to shine,” Dieter exclaimed excitedly as Din shifted away from you. It was your time to roll your eyes at the other man’s antics. Dieter maneuvered around getting on his hands and knees in front of you.
“You’re ridiculous,” You teased hands cupping Dieter’s cheeks and quickling kissing his lips.
“Uh ya ridiculously horny,” He replied with a cheeky smirk.
You threw your head back against the pillows, a loud laugh filling the room. “God you’re funny.”
Dieter glanced over his shoulder at Din who had kneeled behind him. “See, someone thinks I’m funny.”
“Just give it a few years,” Din teased back as he gently pulled a very fancy buttplug out of his husband. Dieter moaned at the lack of friction and you preoccupied him with your lips. He pushed for dominance against you, but you pushed back with just the same intensity.
Din set the butt plug aside and squirted a dollop of lube onto his palm. Carefully he applied the generous amount onto his cock and Dieter’s hole. A soft gasp escaped Dieter’s lips as he shuttered against the chilly material.
With a quick peck of the cheek, you said “Don’t worry. You’ll be warmed up in no time.” Dieter groaned at your words, his own cock twitching at the idea of being deep inside you. With a slow push, Din entered him a deep grumble vibrating his throat as he felt Dieter pulse around him. Dieter moaned, resting his head on your shoulder as he adjusted to his size.
Gently you twirled his curls around your fingers, your nails massaging his scalp. It only took him a moment for him to be ready. Dieter gently pumped his own cock adjusting his hips to meet yours. He guided his cock up and down your slit, your arousal coating the head. You both moaned at the feeling.
But Dieter grew impatient. With his hand he guided his cock to your hole, gathering up the wetness glistening between your legs. With an eager but still gentle push, he buried himself fully inside of you. The noise that escaped his lips was down right sinful as his legs shook from so much pleasure. Small pants flowed from your lips as you felt Dieter filling you to the brim with his cock. It twitched inside of you and you squeezed around it in response.
“Fuck,” He whimpered nuzzling his nose into your neck, his warm breath ebbing against your skin.
Din took this as a sign to begin thrusting. It was slow at first, gauging how you were handling everything. In and out Dieter’s cock rubbed against the sensitive areas inside you, and you moaned. Fingers pulled at Dieter’s curls earning a new set of moans to the symphony of sex.
Din grunted as he pulled his cock almost out of Dieter before plunging it back inside of him, sending Dieter deeper inside of you. The trio moaned as everyone was feeling on cloud nine. Din sped of up thrusts, the need for gentleness over. He draped his torso over Dieter’s back, leaning in to bite on the actor’s shoulder.
Dieter twitched inside of you, and you smirked. “S-Shit I should bite you more,”
Dieter moaned as Din’s thrusts became more erratic. It was clear that Din was close to cuming and by the way Dieter felt inside of you, he was close too. Your hand slid down your torso and your fingers began circling your clit, speeding up your motions as you felt the heat in your stomach began to grow and grow.
With each circle you squeezed around Dieter, earning a moan each time. Your fingers pressed on a particularly sensitive bit and you moaned, sending your legs shaking. Dieter couldn’t hold on much longer. With a few more thrusts from Din, Dieter leaned his head back and came hard inside you. You could feel each bit of cum drenching your walls.
You played with your clit as fast as you could, using your entire hand to gain the pleasure you need. Soon you joined Dieter in the realm of orgasm and came with the tensing of your legs. As you came down from your high, a series of grunts filled the room as Din filled Dieter with his own high.
All three of you were left panting against the bed. Din was the first to pull out, and with a tilt of your head you could see the cum cascading down Dieter’s leg. Din gave Dieter’s ass a few taps before slowly getting off the bed to grab a towel from the bathroom.
Almost reluctantly Dieter pulled out of you, his gaze drifting down to see his own seed dripping from you. “Fuck that’s such a pretty sight, doll.” Dieter moaned as he leaned down. You followed his gaze with curiosity. Dieter glanced up. “What? Think I would miss an opportunity to taste the both of us? Not a chance.” With a quick swipe of his tongue, he gathered you and his own arousal on his tongue savoring the saltiness. You gasped at the overstimulation and latched onto his curls for grounding. This only spurred him on, and soon he was devouring like he hadn’t eaten in days. Another orgasm ripped through you, surprising you with how quickly he made you cum. That made Dieter’s ego skyrocket, and he chuckled as he detached himself from you.
“S-Shit…how?” You asked, panting, mind fuzzy from the pleasure.
“I can’t give away all of my secrets,” Dieter winked before he settled beside you. His arms pulled you in for cuddles which you gladly appreciated. The warmth from his chest filled you with ease as you wound down from the activities.
Din reappeared with the washcloth, and with effortless gentleness he cleaned the both of you. He tossed the material aside, dealing with it at a later time, before settling on the other side of you. You practically purred at the feeling of the two men sandwhiching you.
Everything was quiet as you laid there. Din gently drew imaginary shapes on your skin, and Dieter twirled your hair in his fingers. “C-Can we do this again?” You asked hesitantly not wanting to break the magic of tonight.
Dieter chuckled against your hair. “I was hoping you would ask that.” You smiled in return happy that your crappy night had turned into something you had a feeling would last a long time.
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I have a lot of thoughts on the situation regarding Luigi Mangione. The moment I saw the way people were reacting and responding to his actions, I was shocked. The glorification of Mangione and his actions immediately felt very pro-Pali and I couldn't put my finger on why until a few days ago.
The way people have been reacting has been by putting Mangione on a pedestal, calling him a "hero" when in reality he's a murderer. It doesn't matter what you think of the victim, he was murdered and that fact doesn't change based on his moral character.
I've seen people legitimately treating Mangione as a saint, as some movement-starter, but a movement based on vigilante violence isn't one I'd want to see started.
My first and immediate concern was how this would affect the Jewish community. Antisemitism is complex, antisemites simultaneously create the perception of punching up and punching down (a classic example is the "Jews are rich" vs "Jews are penny pinchers" stereotypes). When violence in either of these categories becomes normalized, it is only a short matter of time before that violence gets turned towards us. And with the rhetoric going around, that "matter of time" fuse is shorter than ever in our generation.
At first, I thought maybe I was just too anxious, considering everything going on. Then this happened.
First it's rhetoric. How soon until it comes to physical violence?
The next issue is with this rabid dream of a violent revolution I've seen developing in my generation. It's honestly concerning. This is the generation that grew up on YA dystopia with those plain protagonists meant to be projected onto, and those people took it to heart. This is why so many of those pro-Luigi posts I see are made by people with watermelons in their usernames. They have this same dream of justifying violence in the false name of "justice".
Just think back to when that man set himself on fire and died, how the pro-Palis celebrated him as a hero and a "martyr". It was only a natural progression until they moved on from celebrating suicide to celebrating murder.
Of course, they've been celebrating murder since Oct 7th, but I view this as different because now, for them, this is domestic. It's more real to them, closer to home, so how they react is more indicative of their slip from morality than the way they reacted to Oct 7th.
Here's the deal: no matter why people are celebrating this murderer, if this becomes a larger social movement with tangible consequences, those consequences will harm us.
It is concerning to me how few people I'm seeing who are actually genuinely worried over this.
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I've seen a lot of people say that Viktor was controlled/corrupted by the hexcore and that's why he did everything
But personally I don't think that's the case
Like maybe... getting convinced by it, like the friend that just keeps telling you "yes! That's a great idea", but not controlled. Viktor always had it in him to do that, even in s1
Let me explain
Viktor is this character that I don't think I get completely, so I keep thinking about him. But I see people say "Oh, he's getting controlled because Viktor isn't like this at all" or "that's not Viktor" and the thing is; I don't agree
I think Herald Viktor is the real Viktor, same as s1 Viktor, it has always been him 100%
First we don't actually know how Viktor is with most people. Most of the time we see him, he's interacting with Jayce, and I think we can admit that Viktor has a lot of affection for Jayce
But we see him interacting with Mel briefly And I always found funny how he reacts when she brings up the hextech weapons, all dramatic and offended, he's like "Absolutely not!" But then he "calms down" as soon as he sees that Jayce isn't supporting him, he even looks a bit sad
I'm mentioning this because of how different he acts with Ambessa later when she asks him for an immortal army; he agrees with everything she wants, of course he won't give her that, he just wants to trick her into helping him, but it does makes me think that had he been alone when Mel started asking about building weapons, or had he known that Jayce wouldn't support him, he probably would've acted in a similar way to how he was with Ambessa, agreed with everything Mel wanted to get her off his business while he thought of another solution
And my point with this is, I think a lot of people assume that Viktor is an innocent little angel that is always honest and just wants to do good; but we only see him being honest with Jayce (most of the time); because he truly trusts him (tbf he's also honest with Singed, but I think he probably has affection for him as well); with the rest of the world Viktor is more than able to lie and manipulate to get what he wants; he isn't necessary a 100% good perfect person
Now, let's looks at how Viktor acts in the commune, because I think everyone can agree independently of whether you think the hexcore was controlling Viktor, that at this moment Viktor is still pretty much in control of himself and his actions
There's this comic called "a perfect life" about LoL Ekko, where Viktor is the antagonist; it has an oddly similar plot to the second season of arcane, (apparently this comic is from 2023 and by that time Arcane s2 was probably on the last part of production, so Idk why it's similar, but anyway!) In the comic, there's a rich dude offering free prosthetics (augmentations? Let's be honest they are futuristic prosthetics) to the people of Zaun, and everyone goes to get one part of their bodies replaced with technology willingly. Then later it's revealed that Viktor is the one actually doing all the surgeries lmao
But that got me thinking, Viktor in LoL doesn't need better morals, he needs better PR!
Because, people want Viktor's help, the only part they don't like it's the losing humanity and free will, which, understandable
But then, why does everyone still go to Viktor in the series? Because he isn't saying the whole truth
When Ambessa asks him if he could inhabit his followers, Viktor simply says they all share one mind and that it was part of his glorious evolution. He doesn't act surprised, It doesn't seem like he didn't know, he simply shrugs and is like "Yes, this was part of what I wanted"
But he never said that to his followers? When Vi and Jinx are talking to Viktor about healing Vander, Viktor never says "oh, btw, if I do this, your dad is going to lose his individuality and become part of my hive mind, hope that's ok :)". No, he simply says that he'll do what he can to heal him.
And again, you could argue that he lied because the hexcore was controlling him, but I still think that lying was 100% Viktor's choice and the only thing the hexcore could do or did was suggest him to do so
Why am I so sure Viktor wasn't controlled in this moment?
Remember when Viktor first meets Vander, Sky; who is very heavily implied to be the Hexcore, tells him to not save him because it would be too taxing to do so for Viktor. And he says no, that he wants to help Vander, because he thinks Vander it's worth it.
And I think that's all the power the Hexcore has over Viktor, suggest certain things, but at the end Viktor it's still on control; because if Viktor is the Hexcore's host, then it would be very detrimental for both of them if Viktor lost all his energy, both of them could die if that happened; yet Viktor ignored it for Vander's sake
So the lying by omission he did with his commune, if it wasn't his idea, it was something he 100% agreed with. And again, Viktor isn't 100% innocent, he's an intelligent man that knows how to lie and manipulate and will do so if he thinks it's necessary
(Which makes it so old Viktor in LoL is more honest than Arcane Viktor and that's so funny to me lmao)
Now, I know people say that Herald Viktor it's a corrupted version of Viktor, but I don't think so. Not corrupted, but something Viktor always had the potential to be. Herald Viktor was the version of him with the most control over his actions and surrondings; he's the Viktor that was always inside him, the person he would've been if he didn't feel limited by his own body, by his social status, by where he was born, and this shows on how this parallels Jayce's arc
I've seen a lot of people saying that Jayce went through what Viktor had to suffer, having to climb up from the deepest parts of Zaun with a hurt leg to the top of Piltover, only that with Jayce it was literal. But I saw someone on tiktok (I don't remember the account and I can't find the video anymore, sorry :( ) pointing out that Viktor also had to go through what happened to Jayce in the first season
In the first season, Jayce was a scientist with a pretty face and charming personality that was seduced by power, he was suddenly given a lot of it, and instead of holding onto his ideals, he turned away from them. He became a corrupt politician and then used that power to betray Heimerdinger, someone who was very important to him. Later he thought himself judge, jury, and executioner and that resulted in a child from Zaun dying
Viktor finds himself in a similar position, a scientist with a healthy perfect body that was suddenly given a lot of power, he became the leader of a community, someone people looked up to for guidance and help. And then after Jayce rejected him he also thought he was judge, jury, and executioner with the right to do whatever he wanted because he was right and everyone else was wrong. The problem being that Viktor had way more power than Jayce ever did
So, if anything Viktor wasn't being corrupted by the Hexcore, the thing that seduced Viktor was power over other people
And you could say "Viktor during the first season wasn't like that at all" but it's easier to be a good person when you don't have the choice to harm others
Another point to add it's that Arcane is a series that uses a lot of visual storytelling, if you just hear the dialogue you are missing 50% percent of the story at the very least; it trusts you to see what's going on
Now, after Ekko throws the Z drive at him and breaks the mask of the Arcane Herald; we can see the real Viktor underneath
I think this is why a lot of people think the Hexcore was controlling Viktor because we see the Arcane Herald, then we see "real" Viktor underneath, but that's not necessarily the case. In that moment we see half of Viktor's face, but look at what we can exactly see; his whole mouth and one eye are visible
Viktor is seeing what's going on, he understands what is happening around him; but he isn't seeing the whole picture, hence why it's only 1 eye. But his mouth is completely uncovered, whatever he says, that is 100% Viktor no doubt
And if Viktor was truly being controlled by the Hexcore/arcane/void/whatever, that would be the perfect moment for Viktor to snap out of it. For Viktor to say "this isn't me" and fight to get away from the corrupting force
But that isn't what happens, what happens is that Viktor is confused by Jayce's insistence and he says "Why do you persist? After everything I've done" this isn't Viktor saying "oh, I'm being controlled, help" this is him saying "I've done horrible things, why don't you hate me?"
So, Viktor was 100% aware of what was happening, he understood that what he was doing was wrong, and he still did it anyway
To add to this, there's this meme about Arcane that said something like "when in Arcane somebody is robbing banks and killing people the songs will start saying "oh, I'm robbing banks and killing people"" and that's true, and sometimes it's funny; but other times it's useful because the songs say things we aren't seeing
The line is 100% Viktor's song; it's the song that's playing as he erases Vander's memories (and the memories of the rest of his followers as well probably) and decides to give in and transform into the Herald
Once again, if the Hexcore was controlling Viktor, I think the song would've said something like "there's demons in my head" or "I can't help myself"
But no, the line is about someone, in this case Viktor; thinking about the consequences of his actions and if he's ready to accept them
The part where it says
"Honestly
I thought I was fully prepared for
The threshold in store
Stay your pretty eyes on course
I guess I never really faced my fears before
So stay with me because"
For me it's Viktor basically saying "I thought I was ready for the world (Jayce) to hate me; but I'm not so sure if I can face my fears of being alone"
Again, it's not about him not being in control, it's about him knowing that what he's doing is wrong, and that there'll be consequences, but he isn't sure if he's ready to deal with them
Then later, when Jayce shows him what mage Viktor saw; I think for him it was like himself confirming what he already thought or had an idea of what was going to happen, the consequences aren't worth it
After that, when we see Viktor again, this time he is fully visible, with both eyes uncovered because he can finally see the whole picture
But now that I've said that I don't think he was being controlled the question remains, then why was he doing all of that?
And this is more my interpretation of Viktor's story more than anything that happens in the show
So, look at Viktor, he was born in Zaun, disabled, sick, poor; but he managed to climb out of the undercity to Piltover going beyond the social structures that held him back, and even then, he only ever managed to be an assistant to Heimerdinger. That wasn't what he wanted, he himself says it, he was capable of so much more. And I think that Heimerdinger made the mistake of not believing (maybe not on a conscious level) that Viktor could be more; then along comes Jayce; and listen, if Viktor was the only one who truly believed in Jayce, I think the opposite it's also true, Jayce was the only one who believed in Viktor's true potential
Now put yourself in Viktor's shoes, nobody has ever believed in you, you had to drag yourself to the top; then you died and were brought back to life by this monstrous thing that you created that killed an innocent bystander, so you decided to run away to try to make your dream of helping people come true and redeem yourself (because the commune was that for Viktor, his dream of the glorious evolution) just for the only person who truly believed in you, probably the most important person in your life, coming back and rejecting you? I too would want to tear apart the world piece by piece
And the funny part, it's that Viktor is 100% using logic to justify his very irrational decision; no he isn't doing it because he's hurt, he's doing it because he wants to help people! He wants to stop suffering and the best way to do that is to erase free will
That's why I think what Viktor said after being confronted with Jayce in the Astral plane is so important "Why do you persist? After everything I've done" in my mind, after Jayce's rejection, he decided to give up and to do the bad thing; he knew it was wrong, but he decided to do it because he was hurt and wanted to hurt back, then he justified it by saying it was what it was necessary to do
And the funny part is that Singed already explained Viktor's motivation during the series "Why does anyone commits acts others deem unspeakable? For love"
Also, my last point on why I don't think it was Viktor being controlled or corrupted by the hexcore; simply because it would be very boring to do so lmao
Like, if Viktor was being controlled, suddenly a lot of what makes him interesting and complex is gone. So I prefer to think it was Viktor all along, that he always had it in him to do horrible things
#ramblings#viktor#jayce talis#jayvik#arcane#arcane meta#viktor arcane#viktor lol#viktor league of legends#league of legends#arcane jayce#arcane viktor#help. I can't stop thinking about Viktor lmao#also I know that a lot of people complain about why people can't just talk about him without mentioning Jayce#But you kinda have to mention Jayce lmao#His motivations don't make sense if you don't take Jayce into account#They are really one half of the other lmao
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tbh I think that the way Ashley Graves is so mischaracterized by the fandom says a lot about how people view grooming survivors (and autistic people). Let me explain:
Obviously, huge spoilers for Chapters 1 and 2 of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. This is just a psychoanalysis of Ashley, however to do so involves a LOT of lore.
To start off, I'm just gonna put a trigger warning right here for LOTS of talk about grooming, as well as neglect and ableism. If you feel uncomfortable reading about these subjects you are more than welcome to click off. Please stay safe.
What made me decide to do this rant:
A few months ago, I got a text from someone who was upset about me having Ashley as my PFP. I was initially like "okay, they don't like TCOAAL, so what", and then immediately after I got a text from them responding to an Instagram story I had basically saying that Ashley was "so me fr fr".
"Let me guess, you also kin Valentino"
Valentino, from Hazbin Hotel, as in the blatant physically + verbally + sexually abusive piece of shit who is in no way redeemable.
I had brushed this off as "maybe they just don't like Ashley", until they listed why.
...all of the reasons they gave fell under the main categories of "she's clingy, she's flirtatious with Andrew, and her sprites are made for the male gaze."
The male gaze thing was because she didn't appear to be wearing a bra. Which like... sexualizing much? For fuck's sake, she's locked in an apartment about to die, do you think wearing a bra would be a priority?
Secondly, her behaviour.
Admittedly, she's not a great person. But that's because she never learnt how to be.
In-game there is so so so SO much emphasis on how she acts childish, and how literally no one gives two shits about her. It doesn't take a professional psychologist to figure out that she never was able to develop properly. That's why she's so clingy, because Andrew is the one person who at least pretends to care about her. And then there's her flirtatiousness.
It's revealed in several flashbacks that the only way she could ever get Andrew's attention is to do something fucked up, as seen by her as a child killing Nina. Andrew then gives her attention for this, which establishes the connection that homicide -> attention, and attention = care and love and affection.
Due to the fact that she never had any friends, she never was able to have any type of love (whether that be platonic, romantic, etc.) reciprocated. Except for Andrew.
Andrew, throughout the game, proceeds to subtly encourage Ashley's flirtatiousness. She has no reference of this type of stuff not being okay, and thus her social isolation made her the perfect target.
Social isolation, gaslighting, coercion, threatening to hurt the person if they don't do the desired behaviour. You know what those are?
Textbook signs of grooming.
I realized that people hate Ashley so much because since she's not aware of her situation being bad, she's unable to come to that realization. She's not perfect, let alone a 'good victim'. She only sexualizes herself because that's how she learned she can get affection and care.
So... where does the whole "Ashley is autistic" theory come from, then?
As stated by Renee Graves, Ashley was "a lot of work" as compared to Andrew (guess what, kids take work). Now, this alone wouldn't be any indicator. However...
It's shown that she was unable to make friends because she was "weird" and clearly didn't have an understanding of social cues and rules (which honestly hit close to home for me). It's also shown that she problem-solves differently (or at least differently than Andrew, who is seen as the "logical sane one") and also seems to be more of a hands-on learner (I forget if there's any actual proof of this, however upon analysis she is an ESFP, and ESFPs tend to be more hands-on (yes I'm aware that MBTI types are the psychology equivalent of horoscopes, but there is some truth to them)).
Not to mention how she's shown to have extreme emotions, and tends to have meltdowns (I apologize if this isn't the right word, I'm not sure what the term would be). The extreme emotions part can be part of how blatantly of a pwBPD she is, but BPD also tends to have a higher frequency of showing up in autistic people, especially autistic women.
In conclusion, people hate Ashley Graves because of how well-integrated ableism is in society, as well as the concept of a 'perfect victim'.
#ashley graves#tcoaal#tcoaal psychoanalysis#the coffin of andy and leyley#leyley graves#tw grooming#tw neglect#psychoanalysis#op is autistic#electra talkz#tw ableism mention
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Spoilers for Sonic 3. This is just a rant. I just really want to get my thoughts out there and everything off my chest because I am just so upset, like really really upset. I am shocked I have heard nothing but praise for this movie. It really got my hopes up. I really didn't like the other ones. I'm not a big fan of the live action plus animated characters combo, The characters still look super uncanny and weird to me. I also really don't like Jim Carrey, I realllllly reallly don't like him. I don't find him funny at all. He's got kind of that millennial humor where it seems he thinks making weird faces and acting goofy is the peak of humor. Idk if younger kids find that funny, I feel like I wouldn't even as a kid. But I especially don't like it now, I'm just old man, I'm tired. I really wanted this movie to be a little more mature. Shadow Generations did such a good job. Dark Beginnings was amazing. I wish this movie could have felt more like that.
These movies just don't feel like Sonic at all. I know everyone gets sick of people complaining about Sonic's personality in these. But I think those are valid complaints. He just doesn't act or feel like Sonic and I don't think anything they do can make me view him as Sonic.
I just can't get over the whole Sonic the other characters being aliens from a different planet thing. It makes it hard to introduce other characters. And it completely changed who Sonic is. And now it's changed who Shadow is. Shadow is now just Sonic but edgy. He's just Sonic but if he got caught and put in a lab instead of living by himself and later getting adopted by humans. They took the Shadow being a darker version of Sonic thing literally. They changed everything about his backstory all while talking about how they wanted to do his backstory right.
It just hurts so much. I know I shouldn't be so affected by this. But I have been a fan of the Sonic franchise for so long and Shadow has always been one of my favorite characters of all time. And it hurts to have had my hopes up for this movie even a little bit thinking it would at least be better than the others and be so so disappointed. Maybe I don't have a right to complain because I didn't actually finish watching it. I started crying and ended up leaving around 45 mins in. Really embarrassing. I just couldn't enjoy it. I really really didn't like the Jim Carrey parts, they were painful. I was willing to sit though them because I wanted to see Shadow's backstory brought to screen in a big movie. But then then they explain his backstory and it's nothing like the games.
He crashed to earth in a comet. He wasn't created by Gerald. Maria wasn't sick. They didn't live on Space Colony Ark. I was so confused. I never even considered that they would change any of this. I thought the gun commander was just lying to Sonic about where Shadow came from so Sonic would work for them or something. But then they show the flashback with Maria and it's still the same. I ended up quickly looking up on my phone it they changed his backstory for this movie and they did. I just don't get why. I've seen people say because it wouldn't make sense in the movie universe because in the movies Sonic and friends are aliens. So they decide to just make Shadow an alien just like them?? I feel like they could have made his backstory work somehow. They didn't even try. Now he's just a literal dark parallel to Sonic. He's always been so but not like this. Do they think the most important part of his backstory is that he was in a lab, there was a professor and also a little girl he was friends with that gets killed.
It just kills me that they changed everything about Maria. She's not sick??? I guess if she's not sick it makes no sense for Gerald to have been researching a way to cure her or anything. I hate it so much. Shadow being just an alien takes away so much depth from all of their characters. Maria is the reason Shadow exists in the first place. She was so important. Their relationship was so important. It feel so much more meaningful for Shadow to have been created by her grandfather to cure her, than him just being some alien she was friends with. Her being sick but also so kind and hopeful was so important. She gets killed by the government when they raided a place that was trying to find a cure for her and she still tells Shadow to protect the people of earth. Maria was so important but now she's just some kid he was friends with I guess. I hate that they took away her sickness and her disability. I loved that the journal that came with Sonic x Shadow Generations portrayed that more. I loved that they showed it actually affecting her. I loved them showing her in the wheelchair hooked up to the iv bag but she was still smiling. She was still strong and hopeful despite everything and she still wanted Shadow to protect the earth despite what happened. And this movie took all that away from her character. I hate it.
Them just living on earth on some base makes me so upset. I was excited to see them on the Space Colony Ark. I wanted to see them looking out the window of the ark at the earth but instead I get them laying in the grass looking at the stars. Maria was so tragic because she loved the earth so much but she couldn't be there because she was sick. They took all of those parts of her character away.
I don't know how Professor Gerald was portrayed all I've seen of him was what was in the trailers and the brief glimpse I got before I left and I've hated everything I've seen. Gerald has never been as silly a character as Eggman. But it seems like Jim Carrey was playing him exactly the same. I assume he changes and acts different towards the end but my impression of him was already ruined. What's the point of him if he didn't create Shadow as a way to cure his granddaughter. It takes away so much from his character. He was also a tragic character. Him trying to do good with his research but then using his creation, Shadow as a weapon against humanity after his granddaughter is killed even after his death is ruined. He's still alive and he didn't create Shadow. I hate it so much. It's not as tragic with him still being alive. Did they have him still be alive so Jim Carrey could play double the annoying wacky roles. Gerald Robotnik is supposed to be a sad tragic old man but all I got was Jim Carrey in goofy looking prosthetic makeup.
Look I know it's a kids movie but couldn't they at least of made it a little less silly. The games were also kids games. Shadow Generation was also a kids game but it did a way better job with handling these characters. Maria and Gerald were Shadow's family. Gerald was his dad, sort of, I hate that they changed that. I guess Maria was still like family with him in this (idk what his relationship with Gerald was I didn't watch that far) but it's not the same.
I loved the Space Colony Ark, I loved it being some research lab up in space. What about artificial chaos, the biolizard, emerl??? None of that is a thing in these movies. It just sucks sooo much. Everything I love about the games is not in this movie. I couldn't finish watching it because I was so upset about the changes. It was bothering me so much it made Jim Carrey so much more insufferable. I am wondering if Shadow still has some connection to the Black Arms because he did fall to earth in a suspicious looking comet. I don't know if I even care because they already took away all the most important parts of his backstory.
Shadow's backstory being changed also kind of ruined the whole Sonic and his powers being sort of a natural force of nature thing and Shadow and his power being a man made thing. Like Shadow is always claiming to be the ultimate life form but he almost can't live up to Sonic's natural talent. It makes their rivalry so much more interesting. I also hate them having such similar backstories here. Sonic is supposed to be unburdened, free as the wind, living in the present, we don't even know what his backstory is. While Shadow is nothing but backstory, haunted by the past and burdened with tragedy.
Movie Sonic is nothing like game Sonic. There is very little that I love about game Sonic present in movie Sonic. I hate that since movie Sonic has a backstory they decided to take most of Shadow's backstory away so he would parallel Sonic. They really just made him Sonic but not nice.
I've just wanted to see a fully animated Sonic movie for years. I've especially wanted to see Sonic Adventure 2 adapted as an animated movie. These movies ruined my chance of seeing that. I thought this movie would be as close as I'd ever get to seeing SA2 in movie form. But there was nothing about it that was similar. Shadow may have the right personality but he has none of his backstory. Sonic isn't anything like Sonic. Tails is Tails I guess. I don't really care much about Knuckles but he doesn't even feel similar to his game counterpart.
I really hate everything they are doing with this movies. It's fine if people like them. I'm not trying to change anyone's opinion. I just really wanted to write how I feel about them because this one really upset me. I've cried a lot because of it. Which is silly I know. Shadow's character was important to me and so was Maria and it hurts so see so much changed about it. I had a dream a couple nights ago that I was watching this movie in theaters. In the dream there was some kind of change I didn't like and the movie was really short and I was really disappointed about it. I remember being upset about it because it sucked so bad. And the same thing happened when I actually saw the movie. They changed a lot and it was short because I left early. I just usually don't get excited for things because they usually disappoint me. I was kinda looking forward to this one and the good reviews didn't help. I was probably more excited than I realized because I did dream about it multiple times. I was disappointed in every dream. Usually when I am looking forward to something I have dreams about the thing where it sucks. I never been this thoroughly disappointed though. I think this is going to ruin my enjoyment of the Sonic franchise, everytime I see anything Sonic I think this movie and the disappointment that came with it is going to pop into my head.
Something that really bothers me is this quote from the director.
They didn't want too many characters so they could get Shadow's backstory right??? They got nothing about it right. I wish they wouldn't have added Gerald in the movie. He felt unnecessary. I would have much rather have had Rouge than another Jim Carrey. Rouge is important to Shadow's character. She was introduced in the same game. I hate that she was just sidelined like that. Them talking about how they wanted to do Shadow's backstory right just got my hopes up too much.
The lead up to the movie made me more excited than I should have been I guess. I preordered Sonic x Shadow Generations when it was announced. I played it when it came out, it had everything I loved about Shadow's character in it. I went to the Sonic Symphony this November. I felt like this movie, even if it wasn't great would at least be a fun way to end all of that. But it really just left me feeling awful.
I'm sure these movies have been great for the Sonic franchise. The money made from them probably helps them make better games. They've probably introduced a more people and kids to the Sonic franchise. I just kinda hate that this is the version they are introduced to.
I'm just so upset but I keep thinking something's wrong with me because everyone else seems to be enjoying it but I just can't. I don't think I am going to be watching any more of these movies, this one killed any interest.
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic movie#sonic#sonic 3#sonic movie 3#sonic movie spoilers#spoiles#sonic movie 3 spoilers#shadow the hedgehog#rant#maria robotnik#jim carrey#gerald robotnik
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Daryl SFW Alphabet !!
I'm leaving for a roadtrip tomorrow and idk how active I'll be so here's a little something I wrote today. Writing this def gave me some good ideas for some oneshots... :)
Words: 3,291 (including the prompts)
Warnings: None really, mostly fluff/ one teeny tiny little mention of suggestive content but it's literally like half a sentence/maybe some allusions to violence
Template from: https://the-coldest-goodbye.tumblr.com/sfw-template (@the-coldest-goodbye )
((I only proofread this once so I may go back in and edit it if I find any mistakes))
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
At first, Daryl, would be super affectionate, but only in private. He might interlock a pinky with you while you’re all around the campfire at the quarry and the farm, but when no one else is around he would be so mushy. Maybe later on, around the time they get to Alexandria and they begin to feel some safety and stability, he would be a bit more affectionate in public. He would place his hand on the small of your back and stand close to you while you talk to the Alexandrians to subtly let them know you were taken, and maybe he would kiss your temple before he or you went out on a run without the other.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
Daryl would be your best friend at first. He would always find a way to make you laugh, even if he wasn't really trying to. He would bring you little things he finds while he's out hunting like pretty flowers and rabbit's feet for good luck. He would always stick up for you when the group makes you feel like your suggestions are stupid. There would be a slight shift pretty soon into the friendship though where he realizes that he wants something more. He wouldn't say anything, he would wait for you to make the first move, or at least until he was pretty positive you felt the same way. He wouldn’t want to risk ruining your friendship if you didn't feel the same way. He would happily be your friend for the rest of your lives if that's all you could give him.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
Y E S! Daryl loves cuddles, there is nothing that makes him feel more loved than at the end of the day, regardless where you are, when you guys lay down and you curl up into his arms. He would usually stay awake for a little longer than you to make sure that it was safe…( totally not because he loves watching how your face relaxes when you finally fall asleep…) (and definitely not because your little snores warm his heart so much…) (and for sure not because he is enamored by the cryptic mumbling you do in your sleep, always trying to stay as still and quiet as possible so he can try and decipher what you're saying…)
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
There is nothing Daryl wants more than to be able to settle down with you. But given the state of the world, it wouldn't be easy for a while. Sometimes at night, before you get to Alexandria, he would almost tear up watching you fold your clothes and arrange your shared tent, longing for some normalcy in this world so that he can just enjoy his life with you instead of having to fight for it every day.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Early on in your relationship, Daryl might try to leave you a few times. Not because he has fallen out of love, but because he’s worried you're too good for him. He thinks so little of himself and that you deserve better than him. Sometimes just a small thing can trigger this thinking and he will go off into the woods for a while to try and work through his thoughts. But you always find him and tell him that you don’t want anyone else, only him. Once he finally feels comfortable enough in the relationship, there is absolutely nothing that can tear you apart. The only thing that would end the relationship, is if one of you dies.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Daryl had never envisioned himself settling down and getting married. But when you guys get together, he is so overwhelmed by his love for you that he kinda starts to want that. Of course, it isn't really a possibility now, but he would find you a ring one day while out on a run and bring it back to you. He would walk you down to the edge of the prison yard where no one can see you and lay with you in the grass for a while before he rolls over and gently grabs your wrist, lifting it up and slipping the ring onto your finger. “Daryl Dixon, are you proposing to me?” you would say in a smug tone. “Dun need a ring to know I’m yers, but thought it would look pretty on ya” You wouldn't say much after that, not wanting to ruin the moment. This world was filled with so many uncertainties that it was scary to get so close to someone. But at the same time, the ring would become a symbol to you of what you were fighting for, a world where you could just be safe and have a happy life with your partner.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
Typically, Daryl is the biggest softie around you, ‘no’ is not a word in his vocabulary when it comes to you. He would be so careful with you that it almost sometimes frustrated you. But when it came to your safety, he would be a bit more firm, blatantly telling you ‘no’ when you ask to come on a riskier run. He would not take any chances, so sometimes he was a bit more rough when he really had to put his foot down. But you knew that he was only like that because he cared so much so it doesn’t really bother you.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Being hugged by Daryl would be one of your favorite things in the world. He would engulf your entire body like a warm blanket and hold you firmly close to him. He would always put one arm around your back, the other holding your head while he leaned his own into your shoulder. Sometimes he would gently rub your back in soothing circles while he embraced you and whisper sweet nothings into your ear when no one else was around.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
It would probably be a while before Daryl told you he loved you, but he would have known it for a long time before actually saying it. He would probably wait for you to say it first, not wanting to scare you off by making things more serious. As much as he would want to make a big deal about it, his anxiety would get the best of it and he would probably say it in passing one day, without bringing too much attention to it.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
Only God himself could save someone from the wrath of a jealous Daryl. It was never something that he really had to deal with while you guys were on the road, maybe a few times here and there, but let's just say that the guys you ran into who made remarks won't ever make them again. When you get to Alexandria, he would have to reel in his rage a bit more, given these were people you would have to live with. But there would definitely be a few guys who suffered a fist to the face when they looked at you a certain way. The residents of Alexandria picked up pretty quickly that you were off-limits.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Daryl would kiss you alllll the time. He would kiss your head a lot since he’s much taller than you and there wasn't much privacy in the early days. You guys would never get into anything too passionate in public obviously, but behind closed doors, it was like he was the thirstiest man alive and you were the last drop of water left on earth. Before he would leave for a run he would hold the sides of your head with both hands and press a long kiss into your forehead before giving you a small peck on the lips.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
Children make Daryl a little uncomfortable at first. He never really knew how to act around them and what not to say. But over time he would grow very fond of Judith and RJ. When you guys get to the Commonwealth, you would basically adopt them. He would treat them like his own, playing with them when he had time off and reading them books in the evening. He wouldn’t want kids of his own, which was fine because you wouldn't either, but he would be more than happy being the appointed guardian of Rick's kids for the time being.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Much to your dismay, Daryl was a morning person. In Alexandria and the Commonwealth, he would get up early in the mornings and make you something to eat while you slept a little while longer. He would quietly slip into your room and gently wake you up before handing you the plate of whatever he threw together. You guys would just sit in bed for a bit while you ate and talk about what you had to do for the day. Usually, he would eventually have to go do some sort of work, so he would tuck you back in and give you a kiss on the forehead before heading out and letting you catch a few extra hours of rest.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
In the evenings, you would cuddle up close to each other while you would whisper stories from your childhood. Over time, this nightly routine would become an exchange of stories, and he would share a few short memories from his own childhood. When you both eventually either ran out of stories or simply began to forget them, you would both talk about the future. What your imaginary house would look like, and how many cats you would adopt. When you had those talks, he would end them by leaning close to your ear and whispering “one day”, before giving you a kiss and drifting off to sleep.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
Figuring out Daryl would be like trying to put together a puzzle with pieces you find hidden around a maze. Every once in a while he would drop a little tidbit about himself and you would memorize it and store it away, placing another piece in the slowly growing puzzle until you eventually begin to see the picture. Each time you would reference something he had told you before, or picked up something for him on a run that reminded you of a story he told you, he would fall deeper and deeper in love. It was the little things that meant the most to him, he was never one for grand gestures.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
To this day, the group still cannot comprehend how well he’s able to keep his patience with you. There were more than a few times that you made dumb mistakes, or got hurt, but he rarely broke. Sometimes, he would crack just a tiny bit when you did something that could've gotten you injured, but he would take a deep breath to calm himself down before apologizing and reminding you that he's not upset, he just doesn't want you to get hurt.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
You would begin to think that Daryl knows you better than you know yourself. Not only did he remember every single thing you ever told him, no matter how big or small, but he also became an expert in analyzing your every move. He could spot your emotions sometimes before you even understood what you were feeling, always knowing how to approach you and talk to you based on your mood and expressions. You wouldn’t realize it at first, but when he begins to bring you little things like candy you mentioned once that you used to like, or your favorite color sweater, you knew he was in deep. No one had ever made you feel more loved or more seen than he does.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
He would probably just enjoy all the quiet moments you were able to have together. Maybe his favorite would be the day you both went out to an empty field near Alexandria, devoid of walkers and had a picnic in the grass. You laid around for a while, watching the clouds pass by before you realized that he was watching you and not the sky. “What?” You stifled a laugh and asked him. “Nuthin’. You're just so beautiful” You blushed a deep red and that only made him grow more enamored. He wasn't able to help himself, he leaned over and kissed you. He knew it was risky, but his need for you overtook him and you made lazy love in the field.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
In his mind, Daryl’s number one job is keeping you safe. Yes of course, he cared greatly about the group’s safety, but you were always top priority. Hell hath no fury like Daryl when he’s coming for someone who hurt you, on the rare occasion that they got through him. He would die for you in an instant, no hesitation. It would worry you, how much he risked his own life to keep yours safe, but you knew that it was a moot point. There was nothing you could say or do to convince him to back down. He would protect you until he was no longer breathing.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
Daryl has never really been in a relationship before, so he doesn't know what to do. He's constantly asking Carol for ideas of gifts, dates, and small kindnesses he can do for you to show how much he loves you. She would tell him that he just needs to follow his heart and do whatever feels right, not try to force it. On the rare occasion that you had the time and safety, he would plan little dates. Taking you out to a spot that he had cleared the day before while telling everyone else you were going on a run. He would give you little handmade bracelets, trinkets he found while he was out, and cook for you as often as he could. But would feel like no actions could ever portray how much he loves you.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
You would be frustrated by how quick he would be to defend your honor. Even when someone would say something so small and insignificant, if Daryl thought it was an insult, fists would begin flying. But secretly, you loved how defensive he was of you. And you had to admit, it was pretty funny seeing Spencer whimper and scurry away from Daryl whenever they locked eyes, it's a shame his nose never did heal right.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Daryl doesn't care at all how he looks, unless he thinks that you don't like something. He would let you cut his hair when it got too long, and trim his beard when it got unruly, but you thought he was perfect just the way he is so he was content with himself. He would be a little insecure about his scars when you guys first get together, but it wouldn't take too long for him to feel comfortable enough with you to take off his shirt.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
When Daryl was without you, it was like a piece of his heart was missing. He would constantly be on edge and anxious to get back to you. He had fallen so hard, it would be actually impossible for him to exist without you anymore. Runs were hard, especially when he would be gone for a week or more, but he would keep a little polaroid photo of you in his vest pocket to try and fill a tiniest bit of the void that you left.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
Daryl would write you notes. Whether it be a sticky note on your pillow in the morning when you woke up telling you that he had run to Ricks and would be back soon, or a note he slipped into your backpack before you left for a run telling you to be safe, and that he would miss you and couldn't wait for you to get back. When he is working on the bridge, he sends you letters by ‘mail’, making whoever is running back and forth to Alexandria drop it off on your porch. These letters would be longer, detailing what all they had done that day and how much he missed you. You would write letters back to him and every time he saw the courier coming up on the camp, he would rush over and grab your letter before retreating back into his tent to read it. He keeps all of them in a small box hidden under his bed, and sometimes when he can't get to sleep at night, he’ll read them for a while until he's able to drift off.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
Daryl wouldn’t like it when you wore makeup. Sometimes you would find an old tube of concealer or eyeshadow while you’re out and you would take it home and wear it for a bit. He didn't necessarily think it looked bad but he thought you were beautiful just the way you were, so he would tell you that you didn’t need it and sometimes try to hide it so you can't use it again. Although, he did love it when you got wine drunk and put on your reddest lipstick and gave him kisses all over his face and chest while giggling and telling him how much you love him.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
Daryl is such a blanket hog. When he first falls asleep he cuddles up next to you and holds you close, but as the night goes on he begins to slightly toss and turn, and usually he ends up taking the covers with him. It wasn’t unusual for you to wake up in the middle of the night to a chill breeze and see Daryl on the other end of the bed with the covers half hanging off his side, half wrapped around him like a cocoon. He would always feel bad when he woke up and saw you were uncovered, so eventually, he would find an extra large blanket that covered you both, no matter how much he moved around.
#daryl dixon#twd daryl#daryl#twd daryl dixon#the walking dead#daryl dixon headcannons#daryl dixon sfw headcannons#daryl dixon fluff
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🎵 guess who finished the argonautica by apollonius of rhoooodes 🎵
the peter green translation served me well and i enjoyed the sizable commentary section, although it probably influenced my interpretation more than i'd like for a first read (green is VERY opinionated and also hilariously bitchy about scholars he disagrees with. the first time i've read such a sarcastic translator's commentary!)
BUT ANYWAY THE EPIC ITSELF:
iiiii have never felt this much anxiety reading an epic before?? there's an ambiguity and sense of danger in this poem's events that aren't necessarily WORSE than in other epics, but there's a feeling that i can't... actually trust the heroes involved. the argonauts are rowdy and reactive, and jason is NOT able to take charge of them -- he shrinks away and goes silent whenever his leader position is called into question. the mob rules, whoever shouts the loudest (often telamon!) in any given situation gets to decide, no thought of consequences.
or maybe reading about a main character who wants to do great things but suffers from debilitating conflict avoidance is a little too real. agh.
(and it's not like the thebaid! you can't trust the heroes in the thebaid either but their hubris and egos makes them PREDICTABLE. there's something unnervingly ambiguous and potentially unsafe about jason and his argonauts, even though they never get up to anything truly horrible. in this version anyway)
jason is incredibly intriguing -- even at his most unlikeable. it's like he tripped and fell into a story he doesn't belong in, he's so awkwardly miscast as a great greek hero and can't live up to the poem's own hype. he's described as heroic at every turn even when he's not actually being heroic, like in an INCREDIBLE passage as he fights the dragon teeth warriors and he's said to "valiantly hide behind his shield". LOOK AT THAT PHRASE!! HE'S BRAVELY COWERING. incredible writing. apollonius is genuinely a master of subtle sarcasm throughout.
like it says a lot that there are MANY variations of the line "but Jason, eyes fixed on the ground, sat there speechless, unmoving, at a loss in this crisis". and baby there are a lot of crises in an epic...
also maiden-coded jason still makes me vibrate! his frequently downcast gaze, his shy passivity, how delicately his body is described, the way he is a sexual object to pursue instead of the pursuer, how unusually tactile he is... one of the most memorable parts to me is when he finally gets the golden fleece, and what does he do? he doesn't raise it above his head in triumph, he doesn't wrap it around himself like a glorious cape and stride to address his men. he disengages completely and, spellbound, pets it and caresses it and combs his fingers through it in almost erotic delight. just. immediate zoned-out personal gratification, we're hitting masturbation parallels, no other greek hero would DO that!
which also makes it interesting that they use the fleece as bedding for their wedding night. i wonder which one jason enjoys lying with most, medea or the fleece...?
yeah so when medea appeared suddenly allllll my affection for jason evaporated. i'm not one of those "yay medea butchering her children is girl power actually!!" girlies (that's five hundred times too reductive a way to engage with a greek tragedy for me), i was prepared for whatever kind of medea apollonius would give me, but WOW SHE IS SO INCREDIBLY SYMPATHETIC (and intentionally so, see how she isn't even the one to kill her brother in this), she is SO ill-treated here. it's SHE who undoubtedly is the gods' plaything in this, not jason!
like how HORRIBLE her experience of being obsessively in love is! (turns out getting shot by eros' arrow is a psychological and emotional NIGHTMARE!!) how painfully aware she is of her own irrationality, how intense her inner life is. at one point she thinks so much about jason all night that she self-induces a (shockingly realistically described) migraine! she loves him so much she wants to kill herself instead of feeling something so intense and unpleasant and overwhelming. JESUS CHRIST it's so evocative.
she torches her whole life, her own safety, her own family for jason, and all he can do (after a lot of pushing) is murmur vague promises. it's HEARTBREAKING the utter helplessness she accepts to live in for him. there is no safety net for her, no way to regain safety if things go wrong (and you are so painfully aware that things WILL go wrong)
generally the argonautica feels more closely related to the odyssey than any of the other epics i've read. not just all the sailing, but the centrality of magic, and of course visiting a lot of the same places -- including the court of alcinous and arete before they had nausicaa (and arete is already the one in charge!)
more moments i keep thinking about:
that first lovely glimpse of the inherent dysfunction of the expedition as the argonauts have gathered for the first time ready for departure, and jason delivers a speech like "men! now that *I*, jason son of aeson, have arranged MY glorious expedition so that *I* can find the glorious fleece and win MY kingdom back, who do we all figure should be captain? 😉" and all the argonauts immediately start chanting "HE-RA-CLES! HE-RA-CLES! HE-RA-CLES!" it's so funny
heracles' role is generally so amazing, what contrast he offers! because HE IS the old-school hero who can do anything, fight any enemy, who has everyone's ear (if not respect -- he seems to be a LOT to handle, even for the other argonauts), who can LEAD. but they FORGET HIM ON AN ISLAND AND LEAVE HIM BEHIND, and now jason, tripped-and-fell-into-epic-heroism jason!, gotta be fully in charge and timidly face every obstacle himself.
i genuinely didn't know hylas getting abducted by the nymphs was from this myth! AND HE'S HERACLES' LOVER, actually the eromenos to heracles' erastes?? and heracles LOSES HIS SHIT TO AN ANIMALISTIC DEGREE at the loss of hylas. this is why none of the other guys brought along their boytoys, dude, this is a disaster.
i REALLY appreciated the introductory rollcall of EVERY argonaut (even if half of them were never mentioned by name again). i always wish we had something like that for odysseus' main crew in the odyssey. it's nice having that overview.
one of the most memorable glimpses into the lives of the gods i've read: eros and ganymede in the garden, playing knucklebones together under the shade of flowering trees and they're both so youthful and so inhumanly beautiful and the scene is so idyllic -- and then aphrodite stomps in and immediately snaps at her son "what are you grinning at, you unspeakable little horror?" she HATES that spoiled teen. it's zeus and ares all over again.
speaking of gods, that one time the argonauts make landfall, and in the distance they see apollo just walking across the land (each footstep thundering) and they're scared stiff and just wait until he's fully passed by... and then can finally get on with their business. no followup, no consequences, just a random incident to freak them out. it reads like an animal encounter, like they saw a huge bear on a hike, i'm obsessed.
i got jumpscared any time the text mentioned "the son of oineus". i'm like WHAT. TYDEUS?? but no, meleager's here, it's fine.
as i mentioned, jason is the one who murders absyrtus (although medea isn't uninvolved) but i'm particularly fascinated by how neutrally we're told about the rituals he performs to not be cursed for it. like there's our wondrous hero, cutting off his murder victim's hands and feet, lapping up the blood and spitting it in the corpse's mouth three times. all done, welp, time we were on our way!
circe can see at first glance that she and medea are related because they both have the sun god's golden eyes, i love that!. and THEN THEY SPEAK TO EACH OTHER IN COLCHIAN, WHICH JASON DOESN'T SPEAK. he's sitting right there and i love that he doesn't understand what these incredibly powerful women are talking about.
obsessed with how jason is described as "walking like the morning star" (bright, promising, bringing good fortune) on lemnos and is then likened to a star of destruction and woe as he's about to meet medea for the first time. aaaaa it's so good.
the argonauts being challenged to a boxing match, and I GUESSED CORRECTLY that they would choose polydeuces as their champion!! i am embarrassingly proud actually. i did not know there was a boxing match (to the DEATH) in the argonautica but i KNEW polydeuces was famous for his boxing.
also i love that when they get to the garden of the hesperides it's a WRECK because heracles was there THE DAY BEFORE!!!! what an incredible sense of time and place, only seeing the IMMEDIATE AFTERMATH of the labours of heracles.
it's so WEIRD when the argonauts get to libya and they're out of supplies so they all just immediately give up and cry and hug and lie down in the sand to die. until the local goddesses come like "JESUS ARE YOU FOR REAL WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GIVING UP NOW. GET GOING FOR FUCK'S SAKE."
oh ancient texts, i will never get used to your incestuous dreams of good fortune (no it's GOOD that he cried with shame for passionately fucking his daughter in his dream, that's a very lucky dream to have apparently).
and then apollonius just signs off like "yeah i know they're not home yet but i promise nothing interesting happened after this point. THE END." like he's just NOT gonna touch whatever fuckery happens after, you wanted the argonauts well you GOT the argonauts.
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The Georgette Heyer Master List
Is it just me, or has Georgette Heyer kind of... gone away? Ten, maybe fifteen years ago, she was a name I'd hear quite often. Especially in the circles of science fiction and fantasy fandom that also overlapped with the avid readership of Jane Austen or Patrick O'Brian, she was often recommended as a sort of Austen methadone. Over at Tor.com, as it was then known, fantasy author Mari Ness did a whole season of reading through Heyer's voluminous back-catalogue. These days, even as romance writing—and especially Regency romance, the subgenre that Heyer arguably created—has gained enormous mainstream visibility, and as science fiction and fantasy romance has become its own wildly successful subgenre, Heyer seems to come up less and less. One might have expected the success of Bridgerton, for example, to inspire some film or TV adaptations of her books (it was, after all, the reason the Austen fanfic series Sanditon came back from being cancelled after its first season), but so far nothing.
This might be one of those cases where the answer is contained in the question. The reason fewer people are reading Heyer is that, although she more or less created Regency romance, there are so many people writing within it now that readers looking for something like Jane Austen, but not quite, have a lot of other options on offer. Which makes it easier to notice the problems with Heyer, or simply the ways in which her style has fallen out of fashion. There is no sex in her books (and no queerness, obviously), but there are poisonous sexual mores—all her heroes have had mistresses who are, quite obviously to them and everyone around them, not the sort of woman one marries, while her heroines, even at the moment of declaring their love to their HEA, feel obliged to "resist" any physical display of affection. Her books are rife with chauvinism, antisemitism, and most of all classism (and frankly, I think the only reason racism is absent is that everyone in these books is white), and while this is arguably more realistic than a lot of starry-eyed modern Regency romances, it is also a reflection of Heyer's own prejudices.
Still, I took in all those recommendations a decade or more ago, and while I may be slow I will usually get around to reading something if a lot of people tell me I should. In the last year I've ended up reading a lot of Heyer—mostly stuff I had in my enormous TBR, or found at a used bookstore, or at the local library, so there's not a lot of intentional choice happening here. I'm not here to say that Heyer is an overlooked gem. All those problems noted above are very much present in her writing, and in addition she has some favorite tropes that she goes back to again and again—in a mere twelve books, the plot strand in which one character is kidnapped across the channel to France, while another character pursues them, going deep into the logistics of finding them and catching them up, recurs a surprising number of times. But she's nevertheless a more interesting writer than I think is commonly acknowledged today, more likely to pay attention to the psychology of her characters (and not in the modern, sometimes quite exhausting, therapy-speak way), and more interested in her setting (Heyer also wrote historical fiction, and some of her romances shade into that genre). I dipped into some of Julia Quinn's Bridgerton novels this year as well, and I have to say, beyond the fact that Heyer is just a better writer, it's a bit more palatable to encounter nasty sexual politics in novels written in the 40s and 50s, than to have to accept that the implied threat of sexual violence is but a stepping stone to true love from a writer whose books were published only twenty years ago.
Below are some thoughts on the Heyer books I've read so far. I will add to them when and as I read new ones, though I think I will continue to leave the selection of those books to happenstance.
S-Tier
Cotillion (1953) - This is the first Heyer I ever read, and to an extent it has spoiled me for the rest of her writing by being such a high water mark. Kitty Charing has been informed by her guardian that she will be forced to marry one of his nephews, and instead decides to run off to the city to find her own match, with the help of gadabout Freddy. The two end up first pretending to be engaged, and then trying to throw Kitty in the path of eligible bachelors, while inevitably falling in love themselves. This is a great book first because it's extremely funny. Heyer had a great ear for the absurd slang of the fashionable London set, and gets a lot of mileage out of Kitty's cheerful refusal to let logic or common sense stop her, and Freddy's Regency himbo antics. More importantly—and rather rarely for Heyer's writing—Kitty and Freddy are true equals. They're both a bit silly and a lot sheltered, but also able to rise to the occasion when it's required, and they lock into each other's wavelength early in the novel and never let go. Inasmuch as they change each other, it's only in revealing that they are able to pull off audacious schemes when someone they care about needs them to, and you can imagine the two of them having a long, ridiculous partnership in crime for the rest of their lives.
Sylvester, or the Wicked Uncle (1957) - Informed that Lord Sylvester, who has a bad reputation that is only partly earned, is about to propose marriage to her, Phoebe runs off with her best friend Tom. When the two of them run into trouble on the road, they are rescued by none other than Sylvester, which throws him and Phoebe together for extended periods, with predictable results. This format—older, powerful man; younger, sheltered woman—is one that Heyer returns to quite often, but it works better here than in any other of her novels. Sylvester isn't cruel or a rake; he's arrogant and high-handed, though often with some justification (most of his bad reputation comes from his self-absorbed, thoughtless sister-in-law). Phoebe isn't a naif, but an intelligent woman with a hidden career as an author that she's quite devoted to. The two of them develop a compelling friendship long before they fall in love, rooted in the fact that they are often the smartest person in the room, and able to help each other steer a tricky situation towards calm waters. The twist that threatens their relationship—before meeting him, Phoebe wrote a novel in which the villain was a thinly-veiled version of Sylvester—is highly original, and the novel's final act, in which Sylvester must pursue Phoebe and his kidnapped nephew into France, is one of the most hilarious sequences I've ever read. By the time the two get together, it's obvious that they could only be happy with each other.
Good
False Colors (1963) - Returning from his diplomatic post abroad, Kit Fancot discovers that his twin brother Evelyn has disappeared, right before he was about to propose to Cressida Stavely. Persuaded by his mother to impersonate his twin for one night, Kit quickly finds himself hosting Cressida and a whole raft of other characters in his country home, while trying to keep up the charade and, of course, keep from falling in love with Cressida himself. This is a book that's interesting more for the background than the main romance—Kit and Cressida are quite sweet, but more because they're a point of calm amidst the chaos of all their relatives and friends. But it's that chaos—especially Kit's mother, an airheaded inveterate gambler whom Kit nevertheless adores— that is the real source of the novel's fun. The fact that Kit and Cressida are able to put all the various crises around them to rest is what convinces you that they will be a good couple, but it's not their further adventures that you'd like to follow.
Charity Girl (1970) - While visiting relatives, Ashley Desford encounters Charity Steane, the penniless ward of a family who are mistreating her. When Ashley later finds Charity running away, he convinces her to let him try to find her a respectable situation, and places her with his childhood friend Henrietta Silverdale. In any other novel you'd expect Ashley and Charity to fall in love (and indeed this is what several characters in the novel assume—when they're not assuming something more salacious). Instead, Ashley's efforts to untangle Charity's family situation, get the best of her odious relatives, and find a safe place for her are a method of throwing him in company with Henrietta, whom he has for years insisted is only a friend. It turns out that Ashley and Henrietta, having rebelled against their families' plan to marry them off at a too-young age, have been shame-facedly pretending that they haven't fallen in love for ten years, and it's only by becoming jointly responsible for Charity that they can work their way around this predicament. The stakes aren't particularly high, but the scenario is original enough (especially for Heyer) to make this a worthwhile read.
Interesting
These Old Shades (1926) - Infamous rake Justin Alastair encounters a runaway, Léon, on the streets of Paris and takes him in as his page. It doesn't take long to realize that Léon is actually Léonie, but the untangling of her convoluted family history—a tale of swapped babies, mistaken identities, and false heirs—is the business of much of the novel, during which, of course, Justin and Léonie also fall in love. The potboiler plot is quite fun, as is Léonie herself—having pretended to be a boy for years, she is at once indifferent to the mores she's expected to adopt as a respectable young lady, and immediately won over by fancy clothes and balls, which allows her to triumph over opponents in both high and low society. But this can't quite get around the problem that Justin is twice Léonie's age, and also a pretty bad person (the character previously appeared in The Black Moth (1921), where he was the villain, and a subplot in These Old Shades even throws Justin into the company a woman he had kidnapped in the previous book). Despite the force of Léonie's argument that she actually wants to be with Justin, this is a book better enjoyed for its rollicking, adventurous middle than its romantic conclusion.
An Infamous Army (1937) - Heyer was simply mad for the Napoleonic wars, and this is one of several books she wrote set in and around them. As aristocrats and officers await the arrival of Napoleon's army in Brussels, Colonel Charles Audley encounters Lady Barbara Childe, a widow with a scandalous reputation. The two feel an instant, powerful attraction, but end up having to navigate Barbara's habit of playing games with her suitors, and Charles's impatience with them, before the battle of Waterloo erupts and forces them both to confront more pressing issues while also realizing the depth of their feelings for each other. It's nice to have a central couple who are older, more experienced people, but An Infamous Army steps away from Charles and Barbara quite often. Sometimes this is quite interesting—the absurdity of 18th century warfare, with Wellington throwing balls for the who's who gathered in Brussels while everyone debates when to flee the city—and at other points quite tedious—several subplots in which Charles's extended family play forgettable matchmaking games. In the end, however, Heyer's interest is in Waterloo itself, with the novel culminating in an 80-page, blow-by-blow description of the battle. This can sometimes be quite moving, when it captures the sheer extent of the carnage, or the confusion of individual officers. But mostly it's just descriptions of military tactics, which is not what I signed up for when I picked up a Regency romance. By the time Charles and Barbara find their way back to each other, you'll mostly be feeling exhausted rather than overjoyed.
A Civil Contract (1961) - Adam Deveril is called home from the peninsula by the news that his father, a viscount, has died, and that the family finances are in such dire straits that Adam may be forced to sell their ancestral estate. The only solution, Adam is quickly made to realize, is for him to marry rich, to which end he's introduced to Jenny Chawleigh, the daughter of a fantastically rich but boorish merchant. In most books we'd expect Adam and Jenny to fall in love, and it takes a while to realize that this is not going to happen. Adam continues to think wistfully about Julia, the woman he had been attached to before his finances made the idea of proposing to her impossible, and the narrative is at pains to point out that he doesn't feel any attraction towards Jenny. What A Civil Contract is about, instead, is class relations. The complicated push and pull between Adam and Jenny's father Jonathan as they negotiate one's social position, and the other's wealth; the delicate negotiations between Adam and Jenny as she learns to understand the importance of tradition to him, and he realizes that she is actually capable of being a great viscountess if he just trusts her a little. The whole thing is a lot more Edith Wharton than Jane Austen, with some great scenes in which Adam is torn between genuine appreciation of Jonathan's energy and intelligence, and disgust at his determination to tear down everything old and replace it with whatever is newest and most expensive. In the end, however, it's all a bit too bleak, and Heyer doesn't quite have the courage to let us sit with that. She tries to assure us that Adam and Jenny have found a genuine partner in each other, and that this, too, is a form of love, but this is not very convincing. In the hands of another author, A Civil Contract would have been the half-tragedy it actually is.
Meh
The Convenient Marriage (1934) - Intending to propose to the eldest Winwood sister, who is already in love with someone else, the Earl of Rule is persuaded, by her younger sister Horatia, to marry her instead. That's basically the story—a marriage of convenience for both parties that turns into a romance. But while in other books Heyer has made a meal of this premise, The Convenient Marriage never convinces you of either its lovers being especially suited to each other, or the rather thin obstacles it places in their path. There are some interesting worldbuilding details—some information about how the invitations to Almack's used to work, or about the mechanics and norms of duel-fighting. And towards the end, there are some good scenes in which Horatia has to outsmart a kidnapper, or her brother has to arrange a highway robbery to retrieve a stolen jewel that might destroy her reputation. But ultimately, the fact that this is all in service of a couple who aren't particularly engaging (and whose age difference—35 and 17—is hard to get over) makes the whole thing a bit of a slog.
Cousin Kate (1968) - Kate Malvern is at the end of her rope, having been chased off yet another governess position by an employer with wandering hands, when a long-lost aunt invites her to visit her country home. When Kate arrives, she soon realizes that her aunt Minerva plans to pressure her to marry her cousin Torquil, and that there are secrets in the estate and the family that are being kept from her. This is Heyer working in the Gothic mode, complete with an isolated great house, a young woman being manipulated and lied to, and a dreadful family secret. It's reasonably well done for what it is, but there were better authors than Heyer working in the Gothic mode—by 1968 you could have read something like Mary Stewart's The Ivy Tree (1961) or Nine Coaches Waiting (1958), both of which do much more interesting, innovative things with the Gothic form than Heyer is even attempting. Finally, there is the fact that the dark secret being kept from Kate has to do with mental illness, whose handling is as tragic and sensationalized as you might expect from this author and era.
Yikes
Devil’s Cub (1932) - The sequel to These Old Shades, this book centers on Justin and Léonie's son Vidal, who has all of his parents' faults and none of their charms. After killing a man in a duel, he schemes to run off with a silly middle class girl, whom he of course feels no compunction about ruining. When her sister Mary takes her place, Vidal is shocked to realize that he has compromised a "respectable" woman, and tries to convince her to marry him. There are further twists, but none of them can get around the fact that the main character of this book is odious, and that the supposed love story between him and the girl he has kidnapped and ruined is highly unconvincing. Not helping matters is that an older Léonie periodically appears to explain that her son has done nothing wrong and that marrying Mary will obviously be the best thing for him, which frankly feels too much like the voice of the author for comfort.
The Spanish Bride (1940) - Based on the real experiences of Captain Harry Smith and his Spanish war bride Juana, this is another novel deeply rooted in the minutiae of the Napoleonic wars, beginning on the peninsula and culminating, of course, in Waterloo. In itself this might simply be boring, but right off the bat we get a scene in which Harry and other officers stand back while their soldiers, enraged after the bloody siege of Badajoz, murder and rape their way through the town for several days. Harry's marriage to Juana is arranged in the wake of this atrocity as a means of protecting her, despite her being only fourteen years old. The rest of the novel is spent careening between detailed descriptions of various battles, and cutesy interludes between Harry and Juana as they settle into their marriage—Harry often exasperated by Juana's stubbornness and emotional outbursts (I don't know, man; if you didn't want a wife who behaves like a child, maybe you shouldn't have married a child); Juana almost slavishly devoted to him but also prone to jealousy and anxiety. (Harry Smith left copious journals so one assumes his side of the story is fairly realistic; Juana Smith's feelings on the whole matter are, as far as I know, lost to history.) The whole thing is alternately boring and gross.
The Grand Sophy (1950) - Charles Rivenhall is informed that his family will play host to their cousin Sophy, whose diplomat father is being sent abroad. Accustomed to keeping house for her father, Sophy quickly takes over the Rivenhall household, rearranging her cousins' financial and romantic lives while a stunned Charles is at first outraged, and then won over. This is a solid premise, but the execution is appalling. Sophy is a bulldozer who interferes in people's lives not because she cares about them but because she always thinks she knows better, and eventually she comes to feel more like a bully than a savior. That Charles is attracted to these qualities might be taken as a defensive trauma response (or, in the hands of a more open-minded author, a kinky tendency), but at no point did I even begin to believe that Sophy had any romantic interest in him (there are a number of Heyer characters who would make a lot more sense if they were queer, but Sophy, in particular, is so clearly a lesbian that the very idea of her happily married to a man breaks one's brain). Adding insult to injury is a lengthy sequence in which Sophy "defeats" an odious Jewish moneylender—read, a collection of poisonous antisemitic stereotypes in human form—whom her cousin has borrowed money from and who, completely unreasonably, expects to be paid back until Sophy threatens him with a gun. I will no doubt ruffle some feather by placing this book—generally held to be one of Heyer's best—so low, but reading it nearly put me off her for life.
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Trying my best to be spoiler free-- my honest first reaction.
Think the best way to watch the sonic movies is to remember they're basically AUs. I think there's enough effort and affection to constitute that for me and I really do feel like they're enjoying these movies and the characters, I do. The energy is there and I really love the way they handled shadow, especially with Maria, even if we didn't get the true ending we wanted. It felt very appropriate given how the movies are world building if that makes sense?
Really looking forward to more and a great way to end year of Shadow 🦔 ⚡⚡⚡
That said, since movie 1, I've always felt that the best parts are any time Jim Carrey was not on screen and this will be my hottest take on this account Ig.
Like I think id feel different if there was just *less* of him or the scenes were shorter (in all the movies) or for this one, at least if Robotnik was slightly less Jim Carrey for a breather. Pace is just cut off to make us give him our full attention, often in service of nothing lol. I think they needed to be cut down. Like anything I felt gets cut off because we need to have Jim Carrey be Jim Carrey for 5 minutes.
For just a moment he has something other than shitpost energy (don't get me wrong, I love a good shitpost, but he's just always the same), like when that little moment happened with his grandfather, like what he says to eggman. That was wild. That was cool.
They're never eggman, just Jim Carrey doing...Jim Carrey lol. Which I'm pretty sure was part of the direction, just letting him be weird. Maybe to find their AU eggman?
It's just like how Will Ferrell has his "Will Ferrell, grown man acting like child" joke in 90% of his movies, it just gets old fast. It just felt like watching the mask half the time, I guess?
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I already made my predictions here on the epilogue, but I want to focus on the Yuko Ozawa part since I know some shippers are in panic about it.
Everything I'm about to say is from the POV of someone who did read MHA and been though 431 and someone who does ship ItaFushi. Do I think anyone should agree with me? No. But what I hope what I'm about to say at least ease your panic for the time being.
With that out the way!
Now, I'll reiterate from my other post.
If I were to guess what Yuko's part will be about, I think she may meet Yuji again. It makes sense. However, Gege being unpredictable, I feel like he may not go about making it something "romantic".
If anything, I think he may go the route as to what happened with Hana and Megumi. It's not going anywhere.
A piece of me feels like with this epilogue Yuji and Yuko will have a heart to heart, but Yuko comes out having a new revelation about herself which is to love herself.
If there's one thing about some of the female cast of JJK is that they're unapologetic themselves.
Nobara and Maki are the biggest examples of this. Other examples are Yuki and Uro. Yorozu even is an example as she didn't care what people thought of her.
Miwa may have a little ship tease with Muta, but even that doesn't stop her of being herself. When we do get a bit of her "hiding" herself, it wasn't for a boy. It was because her mother told her to dye her hair black (as it is naturally blue).
Maybe Yuko could get that treatment here and that's why she was chosen. To give closure to her character that allows her to move on.
Again, Gege is unpredictable. I have a feeling that the reveals of the epilogue was to give fans a heads-up and... what is the word I want to use... I can't exactly explain it, but maybe make fans feel like they're getting this possible romance as a "red herring" as to hide that "Actually, no, none of that here".
Think about what happened to Hana (who is no different than Yuko) and Megumi. Most of the story, she was spent crushing on Megumi but that went nowhere.
Thinking about it, when it comes to F/M relationships here, it really doesn't go anywhere romantically.
Miwa and Muta? Muta is dead.
Got a bit of ship tease with Yuki and Choso and guess what? They're both dead.
Nobara deadass states she would never date Yuji (and I'm sure this extends to Megumi, too).
Shoko says Hell would freeze over before she fell in love with either Gojo or Geto. And those two are dead and happy together in the afterlife. 👀
As I mentioned Hana's crush on Megumi? Girl, might as well move on.
Utahime straight up doesn't like Gojo and he's dead now.
Yuta had that childhood romance with Rika and she died and whatever he has with Maki isn't really canon. They're just friends.
Yorozu had a thing for Sukuna, but he was not feeling her at all. And they're both dead now, so...??
See the pattern here? Wouldn't it be odd for Gege to give Yuko and Yuji something explicitly romantic when they haven't done much before?
Out of the four characters, Yuko is one of the most background of background characters (I say that will love before someone comes for me). Nobara, Uraume and Panda all have some involvement with the more active parts of the story. Much like Fumi and Saori was to Nobara and Tsumiki is to Megumi, she was a character part of Yuji's story.
However, what did those other characters have that she didn't?
A close relationship. You know who else was like this to Yuji?
Rin Amai. "But Kiya, he didn't--" Ah! Rin was also someone from Yuji's past that also was affected by Yuji's presence in some way. And he managed to get some bit of closure to his character. He gets this in 270. Rin apologizes to the kid he didn't stand up for and allowed bullies to harass. Despite not getting forgiveness, he still was able to apologize, accept what is done and move on.
Yuko may get this. Last time, she didn't tell Yuji her feelings because she didn't want him to like her for her looks. That's a regret and one time about JJK characters is they don't want to live with regrets. With Yuko, she may need to tell Yuji her feelings so that she can move on from that regret and focus on being her most unapologetic self.
I don't know Gege personally, but I do feel that this could be the case and honestly, I do hope that it is. It would be good for her and yeah, I don't really feel threatened by her presence. I'm going to still ship ItaFushi so...
#i know with gege and horikoshi being buddy buddy people are in panic gege may follow#but 431 ended with a DAP UP! BETWEEN A GUY AND A GIRL! like really think about that#i would not be surprised if that's the case with Yuji and Yuko#they dab up and be like 'alright have a nice life'#just kiya's thoughts#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#itafushi#fushiita#itadori yuji#yuji itadori#ozawa yuko#yuko ozawa#meguyuji
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Randomly thought of something regarding my normal version of Athena, my Devil Athena AU, and my Holy Moly AU Athena.
See no evil = Devil AU
Speak no evil = Athena normally
Hear no evil = Holy Moly AU
Let me explain.
See no evil is super Devil coded in my opinion. Something to know about my Athena Post-God Games design is that her left eye (where you can see the scars in my design) has been changed to a murky yellow color. She isn't completely blind, but her vision has definitely been affected. Normally, when she's using her powers, her eyes glow blue. But now, her left eye glows yellow. Like Zeus' eyes. She's blind to the fact that, even though she refuses to admit it, she's a lot like Zeus in many ways. Her anger, her passion, and even some of her actions in this AU, which are much more reckless than usual. No matter what, she'll always be like him. But she refuses to admit it. She's partially blind to the fact that, no matter what, she's just like the person she hates the most.
Speak no evil is super Athena coded, and here's why. Throughout the musical, specifically in the Troy and Cyclops Sagas, we know her as cold and distant. She gets frustrated with Odysseus when he spares the Cyclops, her teachings going out the window, causing the whole argument between her and Ody. And then in the Wisdom Saga, we see her again. She's hurt by what she had done, for leaving Odysseus behind, and finally she tells someone else about it. She has the confidence to speak up to Zeus, she wants to free her friend because of what happened. And she gets silenced for it. When she has the guts to stand up against Zeus, begging for Odysseus to be released, he shuts her up. Who knows if she'll ever get that sort of confidence again? The strategist, the logical one, has run out of things to say.
Hear no evil makes me think of the Holy Moly AU for two reasons. A) Athena feels like she's not being heard in the beginning, and B) Athena is shutting everyone out. At the start of the AU, in the first oneshot I made, we see Athena is stressed out. The games are still greatly affecting her, but she feels she has no one to talk to. When that one little mistake finally sets her off, no one says anything. No one does anything to comfort her. They sit at the dinner table, looking at her with pity, maybe even embarrassment. It was a cry for help that went practically ignored. And now, when Athena turns to Moly, now that everyone is trying desperately to help her get better, to get away from the drug that's making her distress worsen, she refuses to listen. They didn't hear her before, and now she refuses to listen to them.
... -sighs and opens Pinterest and ibisPaint X- Guess I'm drawing this now.
#grape rambles#epic athena#epic the musical#epic the musical athena#athena epic the musical#athena epic#devil athena epic the musical#epic the musical devil au#devil au#epic the musical holy moly au#epic holy moly au#holy moly au#holy moly athena#see no evil#speak no evil#hear no evil#PLEASE TELL ME YOU UNDERSTAND#TELL ME YOU ALL SEE THE VISION#Definitely drawing this out now.#this is too good of an idea to let go#long post
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Okay, on reddit there are arguments about this nearly daily, so here are some points I remember:
Breaking TOS: It's literally against the Terms Of Use that you agree to when creating your account. It's number 11 in the list.
Affecting other players: There are reports by some players where a cheated horse caused their game to lag. So it does affect other players negatively.
Growing numbers: If it was one or two from time to time, okay, not many people would probably notice, but recently there have been so many reports and there are more and more players with cheated horses.
Cheat sellers and monetisation: The reason why there are so many people with cheated horses is because there are people selling them. So you have (mostly) kids paying a random person on the internet to give them a horse that can get their account banned. Oh and these people market with "you won't get banned!"
Sharing your personal information: Not only do they pay these people, they also give them their account info so the cheater can do the cheat. What is the main rule? To not share your account information!
Scammers: The point 4 sounds very close to scammer stories... And I guess they are in a way, even if they hold their deal, because a lot of them promise their "clients" that they won't be banned.
Predators: Maybe I should've made this point earlier, I would prefer to not have to make it all. Rattle made a video about this. I personally haven't watched it full, because it made me really uncomfortable, but if you want to see what type of people are some of these cheat sellers, the video is really well made :)
Kids: I don't want to say that kids are stupid but sometimes they really are, and that's because they don't know much. Internet safety is very important but also not very taught. Most SSO players are children that want that pretty horse. They ask their friend where they got it and the friend tells the first child about this person on the internet that gave them this horse. All they have to do is give them account info and money, in the better case.
SSO losing money: Do I have to explain this one? I think it's obvious as a reason why SSO wants to put the end to it. (Just a thought but, some people criticise SSO for putting the prices so high for pretty horses just to get money especially from children who really want this super new and beautiful horse, but the same people will defend cheaters doing the same. I'm not saying all people! But I see some of them here and there...)
Not just coats: Once you use a cheat and get no consequences, why couldn't you use more? Different manes, different coats, "buying" retired and exclusive horses, infinite shillings and star coins, winning every championship, winning every race in less than two seconds.... I'm not saying everyone is like that, but the rabbit hole is very easy to fall into...
So yeah, it's not just "people are complaining because some people changed their horse's coat to a different one". While that's also part of it, it goes way deeper and I hope SSO handles their plan well. And hopefully the anti cheat system will also do something about the players winning races in just a few seconds and similar stuff that players have been complaining about for years. The explosion of cheated coats was probably just the last drop.
Oh, and the difference between a cheat changing your horse's coat and reshade is that the reshade is only visible to you, while the coat change affects all players.
So yeah, this is all I can think of for now. There's a lot to it. Sorry OP for stealing your post about it, but it was like a third post saying it's not that big of a deal and I wanted to explain why there are a lot of people angry about the cheaters.
sorry but i dont understand why it matters that someone's doing a bit of cheating to make their horse a different color
how easy do people have their life to be able to give a fuck about something like that, get some real problems idk
#as a sims 4 player I know how enjoyable it is to mod and cheat your game#but sims 4 is a singleplayer game. it doesn't affect anyone else.#cheating in multiplayer games with other people‚ especially mmorpgs‚ is very uncool and makes the experience for others worse#sso#star stable online#star stable#ssoblr
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Self dx culture is maybe, just maybe, I'm more affected by this than I think I am
-CCC
Mood
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In discussions about mental health, I am so tired of the only voices mattering being other people or other people who do not deal with a condition/disorder or a specific situation.
"Here's how I deal with loved ones with [x] condition!"
"If you do [y] because of [x mental health reason], you're selfish and everybody who loves you is having their lives made harder by you!"
"If your symptoms are [z], you're gross, and you deserve no sympathy for struggling"
I understand to an extent why people do this, but holy hell, as somebody who struggles and struggles often, the last thing any of us need to be told is that we're a burden that others have to carry. And it's terrible how everybody else's feelings but ours matter - even if we are the ones most affected by our condition or situation.
If you are dealing with issues surrounding your mental health and well-being, know that everything above isn't true; you are worthy of patience, understanding, kindness, and love. You are worthy of being listened to without judgment. You don't have to apologize or "make up" for who you are or what you struggle with.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#sanism#sanism tw#ableism#ableism tw#since when do we just go 'you're sick? well I'M more affected by YOUR illness than YOU are so my voice matters MORE'#i'm actually genuinely angry that people think saying stuff like that is appropriate#and when i say 'deal with' i mean when people treat those they say they love like a burden#simultaneously discussions about mental health have gotten better and have stay horrific and lack compassion or nuance#like people have more words to describe mental health but they cling to their disgust for us ~insanes~ like it's a lifeline#TW FOR MENTIONS OF SUIDIDE AFTER THIS TAG#when i actively wanted to take my life being told that i was selfish did NOT help. it made the desires STRONGER#because i had something ELSE to use to justify why my death was imperative. if i was selfish then why do i deserve others?#do you see why these discussions are harmful at *best* and can be the final factor in a decision like that?#sure. maybe those discussions alone won't be what pushes somebody to pass like that.#but it will have contributed to the demonization of mentally ill people#those discussions aren't going to save us from suicidality or something equally seen as drastic#videos like abigail thorn's cosmonaut video were actually way *more* helpful because she was compassionate#she provided compassion and empathy and was vulnerable enough to share her *own* experiences#i think i'm going to re-watch it for the....... 500th time#i'm so glad she kept her old videos up. this one is one of my favourites#heavy watch but i forever will be grateful to her and the others who helped me out of that pit
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in the hopital again
#medical#illness#the doctors decided that i might have tuberculosis. not the kind that affects lungs bc my lungs r fine#but the kind that affects lymph nodes specifically in the neck...#but they were never actually able to confirm it from any of the samples they took so like . we're just guessing at this point lmao#and if the tuberculosis meds have no effect im worried that even the docs will run out of ideas like they've tried to find everythingggg#n all the tests they did came back negative. they were only able to confirm the staph infection n a couple other bacteria back in september#but clearly this is more than a staph infection since the antibiotics took care of that and yet my lymph nodes r still acting up#apparently there r cases of tuberculosis where it just doesn't show up in any tests so maybe i'm one of those cases. idk#anyway genuinely think i'm abt to snap soon im so tired and frustrated by this whole thing!!!!!!!!!!!#el.txt
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