self-dx-culture-is

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(Tw/cw all caps, kinda seems like yelling)

Self diagnosed culture is ITS NOT MY HORMONES!!! Autism and ADHD run in my family, I have been struggling my whole life because of a parent who ignored my needs. What I believe to be BPD feels different than when I'm, for example, on my period and get mood swings. It's painful, like I'm being ripped apart by emotions and have no control over my body. With mood swings, I don't FEEL them. I've fit the criteria for ASPD and NPD since I was EIGHT. You're gonna say that's hormones? WAY before puberty and well past it. Yeah I'm well aware it seems like I have so many things wrong with me but I don't WANT. I WANT to know what's wrong and seeing these communities, people diagnosed with these things explain how they work and feeling like I'm finally seen, you're gonna tell me I'm wrong?

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Self diagnosed NPD culture is knowing damn well you have NPD, displaying symptoms for years, and your bitchass therapist going "wElL mAYbe ItS jUSt hORmONes" like stfu

oof

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Hey, unpopular opinion, apparently. But people don’t just “have pain for no reason” doctors say this all the time (especially to women and chronically ill people) and the truth is, Thats literally not possible. Even if your pains are psychosomatic (a word I hesitate to even use because of the way its used so often) there is a reason you are having those pains whether its mental illness, abuse, etc. If your doctor consistently tells you that “well some people just have pain for no reason” get a new doctor. That’s a doctor who is not going to give a shit what your actual symptoms or experiences are.

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Self DX culture is lowkey hating being self realized with tons of conditions because YES I ACTUALLY DO HAVE ALL THESE PROBLEMS EVEN IF YOU DONT BELIEVE IM STRUGGLING because everyone wants to act like it's impossible to have more than one problem, when in reality it's more likely that you'll have more conditions if you already have one, comorbidity is a real thing! Just because a so-called "professional" in the field of my condition refuses to see my struggles doesn't mean my struggles are not real.

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Self dx culture is loathing how people practically worship doctors and act like whatever they say is gospel and the end all be all meanwhile most doctors don't even understand or are completely unaware of many medical conditions, and gate keep diagnosis because they are uneducated and discriminatory

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I think that a lot of people without NPD have a really poor understanding of "narc supply" or the specific type of positive attention that pwNPD crave. Even the egotypicals who are allies, the ones denounce narc abuse and anti-NPD ableism, don't fully grasp it.

There's this false idea that NPDs like to be worshipped and showered with compliments all of the time, and I mean, yeah, most of us would eat that shit up, but I know that for myself and a lot of other pwNPD it's deeper and much more, I guess, personal?

I don't really know how to describe it, so I'll give an example: As a kid, no one really paid attention to my creative endeavors, my accomplishments, my feelings, etc. And if they DID pay attention, the attention was negative. I could always do better, I could always be smarter, stronger, etc. This came from peers and adults alike. So I developed a coping mechanism where I would tell myself that everyone else was wrong, that I'm actually the best person around, etc. I don't have to explain what disorder I ended up with as an adult as a result of all of that. :P

But anyway - the wound of constantly being ignored at best and insulted at worst is still there. You know how when you're in a group chat or a conversation with multiple people and no one ever pays attention to your comments, while paying attention to everyone else? Yeah, that shit hurts EVERYONE, but especially pwNPD. Even the smallest acknowledgment can be "narc supply."

You know how when you achieve something really cool and everyone ignores you - but the people who ignore you will be quick to praise OTHER people?

You know how when you post art/edits online and everyone ignores you - but the people who ignore you compliment someone else's post in the exact same thread?

You know how when you ask your friend to read your favorite book or listen to your favorite artist or whatever because of how much it means to you, and they never do it, but then they read/listen to everyone else's favorite thing at everyone else's recommendation, and how much it pisses you off? (Hurts even more if you have the SAME favorite book/artist and someone reads/listens to it at the other person's recommendation and not at yours.)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I could go on and on. That shit would bother anyone, us narcissists aren't alone in being hurt by that, but my G-d, it impacts pwNPD in such a specific way.

But let me flip it around to the positive!

A narcissist doesn't necessarily get their "supply" from someone telling them that they're the coolest person in the world and that they're a god. (Though if you do want to say that to us we probably won't complain!) Sometimes they get their "supply" from something as simple as someone acknowledging their achievements, and giving specific praise on what the achievement was. ("It's so cool that you won a prize in the music recital. The song you played sounds like it was really difficult and I loved your stage presence.")

Being told, "Wow, you did such a great job on your artwork, I love the colors!" goes a very very long way for a narc, especially when said narc is used to being IGNORED for their art.

Hearing, "it's so cool that you like that book, I'll have to read it and tell you my thoughts!" can help a narcissist's interests feel acknowledged.

You might be reading this and thinking, "well, isn't it just basic human interaction to compliment your friends or try out their interests"? And, well, maybe it is, but the whole point of NPD is that most of us grew up without receiving that type of attention, so now we're very very desperate for it - and very, very, VERY sensitive to when it doesn't happen, or is even perceived to not have happened. Something as small as being talked over in a group chat can set us off, but something as small as a simple, "hey, it's so cool that you did this, I love it." can win us over.

And to be completely fair, most of the time us being "ignored" isn't completely intentional. Like, I get it, yeah, sometimes timing just doesn't work out for person A to read my favorite book at my own rec, but by the time person B is in their life, person A can read it, and it's not anything personal. Sometimes the content I make just isn't someone's ~style~ and they support me, they really do, they just don't know what to say. Sometimes someone forgets to respond, or doesn't get a notification when I send them something I made or tell them about something I did. (There is less excuse for being ignored in face-to-face/offline convos though.) But because of the trauma of us constantly being ignored as kids/teens, the smallest little thing hurts and as a result we seek and crave attention EVERYWHERE.

So now, to give in to narc stereotypes of begging for attention: If you're a person without NPD and you genuinely want to help the narcissists you have in your life, the second best thing you can do for us is checking in to make sure we're not overlooked. Try to be sure you're not ignoring us, and if we do something cool, try to compliment it, even if it's something you don't fully "understand." Ask us about what we've been up to lately, what we're proud of about ourselves, and agree with us that what we've done is pretty cool. I mean, you'd do that for any friend, right? It's really not all outlandish for a narc to want that.

(If you're curious what the FIRST best thing you can do for a narcissist is, it's giving us a million dollars unlearning your anti-NPD ableism and calling people out who use narcissist as an insult as a synonym for abuser. Even in "offline" spaces, even when we're not around, even doctors/therapists. Even "narc" abuse survivors.)

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Asks are open again!

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I found an extremely dope disability survival guide for those who are homebound, bedbound, in need of disability accommodations, or would otherwise like resources for how to manage your life as a disabled person. (Link is safe)

It has some great articles and resources and while written by people with ME/CFS, it keeps all disabilities in mind. A lot of it is specific to the USA but even if you're from somewhere else, there are many guides that can still help you. Some really good ones are:

How to live a great disabled life- A guide full of resources to make your life easier and probably the best place to start (including links to some of the below resources). Everything from applying for good quality affordable housing to getting free transportation, affordable medication, how to get enough food stamps, how to get a free phone that doesn't suck, how to find housemates and caregivers, how to be homebound, support groups and Facebook pages (including for specific illnesses), how to help with social change from home, and so many more.

Turning a "no" into a "yes"- A guide on what to say when denied for disability aid/accommodations of many types, particularly over the phone. "Never take no for an answer over the phone. If you have not been turned down in writing, you have not been turned down. Period."

How to be poor in America- A very expansive and helpful guide including things from a directory to find your nearest food bank to resources for getting free home modifications, how to get cheap or free eye and dental care, extremely cheap internet, and financial assistance with vet bills

How to be homebound- This is pretty helpful even if you're not homebound. It includes guides on how to save spoons, getting free and low cost transportation, disability resources in your area, home meals, how to have fun/keep busy while in bed, and a severe bedbound activity master list which includes a link to an audio version of the list on Soundcloud

Master List of Disability Accommodation Letters For Housing- Guides on how to request accommodations and housing as well as your rights, laws, and prewritten sample letters to help you get whatever you need. Includes information on how to request additional bedrooms, stop evictions, request meetings via phone, mail, and email if you can't in person, what you can do if a request is denied, and many other helpful guides

Special Laws to Help Domestic Violence Survivors (Vouchers & Low Income Housing)- Protections, laws, and housing rights for survivors of DV (any gender), and how to get support and protection under the VAWA laws to help you and/or loved ones receive housing and assistance

Dealing With Debt & Disability- Information to assist with debt including student loans, medical debt, how to deal with debt collectors as well as an article with a step by step guide that helped the author cut her overwhelming medical bills by 80%!

There are so many more articles, guides, and tools here that have helped a lot of people. And there are a lot of rights, resources, and protections that people don't know they have and guides that can help you manage your life as a disabled person regardless of income, energy levels, and other factors.

Please boost!

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This doesn't apply to self-diagnosis, but if any of you have a professional diagnosis and need disability financial aid (or for those who are in the process or who think they may need financial aid), then this post is a life saver

Abled Person: Hey man, can you hold this wad of $2,000 and this one penny for me while I open my wallet?

Disabled Person: YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER FOOL!

The United States Government:

(Watch how many people don’t get this.)

[self-dx-culture-is]

Reblog to explain my previous post

Hello dear!

Sorry for bothering you, but it's important to remind you to turn off your asks for a few days! Bad things are going to happen on Tumblr soon...

Don t know anything about this but BETTER BE SAFE EVERYBODY!!!!!!

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Hey guys. Due to the potential raid (people threatening to send gore through DMs/asks), I’m gonna be shutting this blog down for a few days. I’ll let you know when I’ve turned asks back on.

I also recommend turning asks, or at least anon and media asks off on your own accounts, and warn against following links anyone sends unless you know it’s okay.

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pro tip for my folks on the psycho spec:

get a cat!

hallucination? they won't react to something that's not there! or maybe they will! but if they do you can't see it. its like having a buddy who is also on the psychotic spectrum or is trying so so hard to receive messages from the collective brain cell.

weird noises? don't worry about it! its the beast!

"i believe that i am an angel of the lord and i have secret information revealed to me about my purpose on earth" "cool bro is it dinner time yet"

paranoia is a lot less overwhelming when you have a tiny warm ball of love purring at you

their constant screams for attention and treats will drown out the ominous singing !!

if you start hallucinating and talking to someone that isn't there, they'll hear you talking, which to the cat means you are capable of providing treats and snuggles and playtime, and come find you to scream in your face.

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TW: fake-claiming, suicide mentioning

Self-diagnosed culture is unpacking shame, as well as mistrust of my own brain and experiences, years after having said experiences. All because of the stigma created by those who think they know my brain better than I do, or those who think me experimenting with criteria is dangerous and invalidating to their experiences (despite it having nothing to do with them).

For years, I felt so ashamed of having had psychotic episodes, brought on by major depression and suicidal ideation. I didn't think it was possible to have psychosis like that until then... I started hearing people in my head, and they were really fucking mean when I was having breakdowns, but a few of them were fine beyond that-- they were friends, even (though I was scared of this one named Kiv because they were one of the voices that bullied me during my breakdowns)... When they disappeared all of a sudden, along with most of my psychotic symptoms, I was convinced I had faked it all. I never spoke of this to anybody until maybe a month ago, because I was so sure somebody would call me out for faking being a system or something.

I'm also only now beginning to unravel the fact that I very likely may have OCD, which is apparently common to develop for those with untreated autism.

Better now than never, but I wish I had caught and accepted my mental state earlier. It would've saved me from lost sleep, and some disasters too. All that distress I could've avoided.

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[self-dx-culture-is]

self dx culture is masking so hard you make it all the way till your late 20's and early 30's before you feel like you can put the idea out their your maybe ADHD or some kind of ND and that feels your emotional issues

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self dx culture is when you could skip a lot of explaining just by telling people that you have certain pd and helping them with research, but everyone keeps interrogating you to figure out if you're diagnosed professionally. and then they get surprised when you don't act neurotypical, how, but you don't have any diagnoses! good thing is that my pd made me learn how to live without people.

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Self DX culture is trying to figure out which problems lead into other problems like I feel my undiagnosed ADHD informs my anxiety and depression but others disagree

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