#maybe this year might be a little better

[pizzacatdelight]

My Birthday

Yay, today’s my birthday! I turned 28 years old! And avoided the dreaded “27 Club” where some of the biggest musicians from the 60s’ and 70s’ died when they were 27 years old! (They mainly died due to massive drinking, doing drugs, etc.…)

My 27th year on this planet was not a good one. Early this year, I quit my toxic part-time job at a well-known pizza restaurant that I won’t name. I got scammed into paying for my own equipment for a new job I thought it was a job, but wasn’t. So, I lost over $2,000 because of it and I have to freeze my credit scores to keep the scammers from opening any new credit cards under my name! Then there’s the fact I can’t even find a job that would even hire me due to both my disability and my limited skill list! I even got rejected from getting Disability (or SSI); two months later because of the fact I even had a job!

At home, my youngest niece graduated from high school in June and instead of going to University, she’s working a full-time job at Sally’s Beauty in order to save up money to buy her own car since the car her mom gave her last year and it‘s too expensive to go University right now. My only nephew started 11th grade last month, which means once he graduates in 2025, mom’s planning to sell the family house. She told me and my older sister this back in March/April where after she sold the house; she’s planning to (probably) move to Oregon to get away from the politics of conservative Texas and to retire. Of course, we’re going to move with her as she’s planning to buy land and build a condo house where my sister and I can live on one side of the condo.

For my hobbies, on the other hand, they’re doing great! I beat over 15 games this year, which include “Pokémon: Emerald”, “Hypnospace Outlaw”, “Fire Emblem: Three Houses - Cindered Shadows DLC” and “The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog”. “BAD END THEATER” became the first Steam game where I 100% all the achievement. I preordered “Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom” a few days before it came out in May and played it on release day. I remembered staying up all night going around Hyrule, completing the Shrines and not being dicks to the Koroks who only wanted to be reunited with their friends. I’m looking forward to the release of the remaster of “Super Mario RPG”, which comes out in less than two months! I saw four LPs of the game in the past and played it myself for the WiiU. I can’t wait for it to come!

My webcomic is going along. I just finished Chapter 9 and I’m currently taking a small break from it to focus on making this site. I changed how I publish my comics, where I used to release 6-7 pages at a time. But now, I have changed it to 2 pages per week, which means I’ll get more views compared to what I did before. I’m planning to post the links to my webcomic here; I’ll have to find the motivation to do so.

I also made a Tumblr account in June after Reddit decided that they're going to start pricing the 3rd party apps that use its’ code (Apollo, you will be missed). While things are great on Tumblr, I have to get used that most of everyone there is very left-leaning compared to Reddit, where everyone is either in the center or right-leaning, depending on the subject. Yes, I know there are left-leaning people and subreddits there, but it’s the right-leaning groups that are the ones who make the headlines. At least the fandom on Tumblr is way nicer compared to Reddit, where you get attacked for saying or doing something that the fandom subreddit doesn’t like. It’s the reason why I was too scared to either post or comment on Reddit.

Then early this month, I made a NeoCities website and learned how to code again after 11 years. It’s not easy and sometimes it’s even frustrating when you want to do something cool to your page and the code won’t work! At least coding is a skill I can use when I try to look up jobs since it’s one of the most important skills that businesses need. And I also started to blog to write about my thoughts as well. I’ve been doing it on Tumblr for a while, so now I have two sites to pour it all out.

As for what I will be doing for my birthday, it’s not going to be much as I tend not to ask for a lot. I know mom normally gives me a $50 Amazon gift card so I can buy something nice for myself. And I already have plans to make brownies for desserts since we have so much flour and a huge box of brownie mix is in the cabinet.

So yeah, my 27th birthday wasn’t that great, but it could’ve been worse. I hope my 28th year will be a little better and things will improve.

[amourningcrow]

SPOILERS (I guess?) The whole Lucanis Wings being controlled by Spite - has me thinking about the final romance scene. Do you think Spite loves Rook too? Or he was just helping out Lucanis?

Ahhh I mean we have confirmation from his writer that "Spite is fond of Rook in his own Spite-like way" and that he trusts them more than anyone else! I personally wouldn't interpret this as romantic, per se, but I think Spite recognizes that Rook is good for Lucanis and feels a little protective/possessive over them because of that?

It could obviously be that the devs just thought it would be a cool effect, but I like to believe that Spite was trying to make them feel safe, maybe? Shielded from the rest of the world. ("These people want to hurt you and take you away? How about NO?", Spite said spitefully.)

We know that spirits don't really feel the same way normal people do and I highly doubt Spite could love someone the way we mean when we say love, but the romance scene makes me think Spite's feelings are probably the closest to (some type of) love they could possibly be. You know... for a demon.

I have no idea though!! I'm just a little guy.

Add on: I still swoon over this though because. What do you mean, the DEMON likes me enough to do that?? He LIKES me?? THE DEMON???? I think that qualifies Rook as Thedas's most specialest princess (gender neutral)

[puppyeared]

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

[skrunksthatwunk]

love like you / maternal pang

bonus under cut:

the first stephanie + the maternal pang tone destroyer i couldn't include bc it's a serious comic

[starry-bi-sky]

in 1 side we have Massive Angst of Talia and Bruce

on other side we have Okay normal life Clone Talia, Himbo Danny and Damian. Wait that is just Spy x family but Clone x Family.

No kidding. I can't say much for the angst between Talia and Bruce because I don't know their dynamic that well beyond that in one run they were supposedly in love with one another (and still are to some extent) but they're on such ideological opposites that it's never gonna work in the long term. And in another run Talia is just seducing Bruce (which iirc came about from post 9/11 hatred towards the middle east, and resulted in Talia's character being butchered by some asshole).

BUt on the other end we have Nasra, Danny, and Damian. Who I don't think ever really take on a traditional nuclear 'familial' dynamic since Danny and Damian agreed to both be brothers first and foremost - they're not seeking out a father-son relationship with each other, even with Danny occasionally being parental from time to time. And Nasra and Damian would still have an almost sibling-like rivalry towards each other as well (honestly I think it'd be very Tim and Damian-like), I think. That with a mix of "rivalry between little sibling and their older sibling's partner" too. Either way its def not mother-son like in the slightest, but still familial. Even if unorthodox

But either way they are still family with the additions of Sam and Tucker and Jazz! I like to imagine that Nasra and Damian both are actually pretty into art. Damian uses spray paints as his medium, however, and Nasra gets into charcoals and watercolors, and they compare different art mediums when they start tentatively getting along.

OH also unrelated but more on clone^2 but - danny in clone^2 like, killed like three guys when he was 17 because they attacked him and damian and nearly killed them both. Imagine being Bruce and finding that out

[thetardisisnotourdivision]

Hey did I ever tell y'all about the time I dreamed that I had a baby daughter called Ellie that began with my finding out I was pregnant and ended on like her third birthday?

I legitimately woke up thinking "I should go check on Ellie" and then realised she was never real and when I tell you I SOBBED. I've been haunted by an implacable sense of loss ever since. Did I travel to another dimension? Wtf happened because that was insane.

[flygonscales]

2 weeks at uni and I’ve already reached peak procrastination. I found masking tape and somehow decided that the best use of my time was to make a tiny Belphemon-sleep.

[soup-is-here]

Mouthwashing Spoilers

TW: Addiction and Self Harm

I wanna go on about Swansea's final monologue but it's hard to put into words, but I'm gonna try anyways cause it's a short, but strong story about autonomy again. This post ended up significantly longer than I wanted though

It's the autonomy to choose the "less healthy" option because it's appealing to you. It's the moral assignment to normality and stability. An alcoholic is an alcoholic by choice, technically, but do they owe us otherwise? Is it morally reprehensible to enjoy taking LSD at a party? Should we see someone as less than because they relax with a xanax instead of a hot shower? It's not healthy. We know that. We've seen anti-drug ad after ad after ad. But is that the part that's morally wrong, in and of itself? Does enjoying the drugs and chaos make Swansea a worse person?

Like him talking about his entire life and ending it by saying between the "stable" "normal" life and him waking up every morning with a new hangover, he preferred the latter. People always talk about getting clean and fixing their lives and Swansea did it! He did the thing "good men" do! A wife and kids and a trade job and sobriety! He was doing it! He was finally "worth" something!

And he hated it! I mean I don't know if he actually hated/despised it, but he misses his previous life. He misses drugs and partying and living like you might not wake up the next day. He said the thing that changed him was seeing himself dead in a ditch under the bright beam of a streetlight. Now he's looking down the barrel of a gun. And as he looks down it, he looks back. That was his preference. It felt good to be like that. And he wouldn't be here if he stayed there

We always have a narrative about drugs or gambling or sleeping around where a person suddenly realizes that they aren't "doing anything" with their life and becomes stable and it's always played like addiction is a false pleasure. Swansea got to the stability people said would be the real pleasure of life and that just wasn't true for him. One bad paycheck could've been the difference between his stable life and falling apart anyways. His lifestyle was going to kill him someday apparently, yet he's staring down the barrel of a gun at his steady trade job to feed his wife and kids.

I don't know quite how to word it but Swansea is the poster child for rehabilitation. There's this weight to him saying his alcoholic period was the best time of his life. Like it just hits at that pang that makes people wear DARE shirts while smoking weed and post those videos of smoking 100 cigarettes at once. Anti-vaping ads tell you about the damage they do to your body but everyone knows that already. Everyone knows "this is what your brain looks like on drugs." I smoke medical marijuana and it isn't good for my lungs but it's good for my pain. Doing drugs isn't good for me and I know that and that's sorta the point sometimes.

I don't know it's just this weird pang where I know what Swansea means, just not to nearly the same extent. I don't have an addiction so I don't think I could fully understand it. Maybe a better thing I could relate it to for myself is self harm. It's not healthy sure, but who do I owe health? Myself? Other people? And what is healthy? Is it feeling better now? Is it resisting now and feeling worse for it until it stops? What if the coping skills I learn make it worse? What if they make it better? Do I want it to get better? Does Swansea want to get better? What would better feel like to either of us?

Who knows until you try. Swansea got a collared shirt, a mortgage, and a credit card. He got a job and a wife and kids. He got sober. He got healthier, depending on your definition.

But did he feel better? He's looking down a barrel of a gun and he has to decide if he feels better. It doesn't seem like he regrets his new life. He says he wants his kids to be better than him. He wants good things to happen for them. He saw himself as one bad slip away from falling again. I don't think he felt better though. I think he got healthier. He likely would've ended up in the ditch he dreamt about, but we don't know that. We also don't know if that's what he'd prefer. But, we do know he got healthier, depending on your definition.

[do-rey-me]

the hyper fixation is winning i am this 👌 close to writing stage directions for epic the musical.

i have an image in my head of Penelope in an opera box, sitting at her loom, forever weaving and unweaving Laertes' burial shroud, while watching the play and Odysseus reaching up to her from the stage

[batsplat]

another bit of context that I think is key to understanding assen 2015 is that like. okay a last corner is a last corner; it's not like valentino has ownership over it or whatever. but there is also something in-your-face bold about thinking you can beat valentino rossi at that chicane. sure we don't quite associate the gt chicane with one specific iconic rossi overtake the same way we do last corner jerez or the corkscrew, but thinking you can steal the win from valentino at the chicane is kind of in the same spirit. that's valentino's chicane. he has made countless overtakes there over the years. he loves that chicane he really does

take 2013, where assen was the first race vale won after his ducati dry spell. his overtake on marc in that race isn't at the chicane, but it's in turn one - right after marc had made a small mistake on the chicane and gets poor drive down the straight. which could be completely innocuous, but is also the kind of thing that happens when you're defending against somebody you know is very good at one specific bit of the track. which marc knew. of course he did. after the start, valentino made two other overtakes in that race: on bradl and dani (the latter of which marc had an excellent view for). guess where they both happen. guess where marc overtakes dani

and marc straight up said in the assen 2015 post-race presser that his move there was premeditated, that he'd repeatedly tested out and planned that move during practise. marc, who obviously knows valentino's record at that track, who has studied him so so closely. who knew full well that the fight for the victory was most likely going to come down to the two of them, and knew it could come down to the very last chicane. his plan to win that race was to barge valentino aside, ideally on the final lap, at quite possibly valentino's best series of corners on the entire calendar. no wonder marc was pissed when it didn't work

[raiponces]

trying to make friends online is...........hard

[loverboybrightsideghost]

sometimes i don't think people realize how much effort it takes me to be a positive person. like this is on purpose. i'm doing this on purpose. even i don't usually realize how hard it is until i get metaphorically punched in the gut and it just becomes insanely difficult to even want to do anything at all.

[medicinemane]

"Our thing connects to an app!!!"

Ah... I hate it

[sunburnacoustic]

I'm preaching to the converted on this website, but Drones was a really fucking good album. Just because people don't really like Revolt doesn't take away from the fact that it's a solid album. There's long been this belief in the Muse fan community in particular that just because an album has one (1) song that's a bit different, or god forbid, poppy, the whole album is trash, or no OOS, the holy grail.

The singles on Drones: Psycho, Dead Inside, Mercy, Reapers, The Handler, Defector, Aftermath, are all fantastic (I think officially Matt was all, "do singles exist anymore?" but I'm counting anything that was released with a music or lyric video as a "single". 2015 was a strange time! Looking back, it makes so much sense that Muse, who had declared the album "dead" in 2014, would end up coming out with their first proper concept album in 2015, which Matt thought was the only real reason to be doing a traditional album format at all!)

The heavier stuff on Drones is flawless. The "poppier" stuff like Dead Inside, its last verse is gut wrenching ugh. So good. Aftermath as a whole just makes me sob sob sob. And I love Muse trying out new sounds. The sound on Defector and the Handler were a new type of heavy for Muse back in 2015: slow, chugging and heavy rather the faster stuff like on say, New Born or Stockholm Syndrome. It was great to hear them keep exploring and expanding their sound. Matt talked about how the bluesy stuff on Aftermath was completely new to him. I love them for giving it a try, and it works. Everything doesn't have to have a riff or a banger chorus to work as a good song.

The Globalist: epic! Clever! A 10 minute saga! That countdown riff! The whistling! The last piano section, ooh. So good. So classically inspired. And don't even get me started on the song Drones. Four Matts singing in 4-part voice harmony? Incredible. Wonderful. Love it.

Anyway this has been quite a throwaway post, I'll properly review Drones sometime but hey. It's a really fucking good album, and even if you really dislike Revolt, it's still an incredible album. Besides, what's not to like about Revolt. Let Muse have their summer guitar pop song. Let it be ;)

[fantasykiri5]

I love kipperlilly in that she’s a rancid little bastard asshole and I like seeing her do weird fucked up shit because it’s INTERESTING

[falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand]

the worst part of break is the last day when you're just drowning in stress thinking about going back. i feel literally physically nauseous