#like hair slicked back or anything else in that songs album
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snailfen ¡ 1 month ago
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being a kaai yuki fan is awful. i want endearing edutainment-styled songs about cat behaviors that sound like a kid with a cat obsession writing a song about them not this lolicon-styled trendbait SLOP 😭
#LETS ALL KILL OURSELVES. ALL 8 BILLION OF US#IDC IF SHES DEPICTED AS A 15 YEAR OLD IN THE MV THATS NOT MY PROBLEM. MY PROBLEM IS WHY DID WE CHOOSE ONE OF THE ONLY CHILD SAMPLED VSYNTHS#context since i dont post much about vocaloid: popular vocaP made a cringe lolicon song and used a vocalsynth that sampled A 9 Y/O'S VOICE.#IT COULD'VE BEEN ANY OTHER VOCALSYNTH. STILL WOULD'VE BEEN A LITTLE WEIRD MAYBE BUT THIS IS SETTING THE BAR IN HELL#god. i hate it here 😭 the song isnt even that good on its own#like yeah its catchy or whatever but its so clearly made to be trendslop. you will never be mesmerizer#can people be normal about her oh my goddd 😭#i seriously need more of like. lighter themed songs with kaai yuki that are about silly everyday things#like hair slicked back or anything else in that songs album#theres this one kaai yuki cover on youtube of chipi chipi chapa chapa and its CUUUUTE 😭#I LOVE THAT SONG UNIRONICALLY its just about a kid inviting her friends to play at her house. also its a banger#speaking of which. in better news we might be getting teto on the big stage. who cheered and lowkey cried#listen shes been winning so hard these past few years like its been nonstop banger after banger after banger for her.#we wanted for her to sing so many beautiful songs and these vocaPs going crazy with her vsynth are treating her to that dream. YAY ❤️#NOT EVEN JUST HER VSYNTH HER UTAU HAS STILL GOT IT (gestures to medicine)#anyways. i wish kaai yuki could be winning like that.... her voicebank is so unique#the sniffly quality of her voice can be hard to work with but it's endearing and it makes her stand out in another way#anyways. kiyoteru you have permission to kill everyone now#mossball.txt#kaai yuki#ask to tag
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premiumbitch ¡ 7 days ago
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۶ৎ MISS MARINA: SCRIPTING & MANIFESTATION PACK ˙⋆.˚
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This is for the lovely person who requested this (@tealeavestarot) and for the people who want to manifest stuff about themselves or script this in their shifting script! this pack is a marina and the diamonds theme ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ enjoy! (sorry if i got anything wrong, i don't know much about her)
ALBUMS THIS IS BASED ON:
Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land
I Love You But I Love Me More
It's a bit less How to Be a Heartbreaker, but still a Bubblegum bitch
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PHYSICAL AESTHETIC:
━☆ Electric Eyes – Big, striking eyes with a spark of rebellion, always looking like they know something you don’t. Playful, bold, and impossible to ignore.
━☆ Glowy, Doll-Like Skin – Effortlessly radiant, dewy but not fragile, as if you’re lit from within. A face that looks like it belongs on a vintage album cover.
━☆ Defined, Fierce Brows – Not too thick, not too thin, just sharp enough to make you look like you always have a plan.
━☆ Candy-Colored Blush – A soft but intentional flush—like the perfect balance between innocence and mischief.
━☆ Bold, Glossy Lips – Whether it’s cherry red, bubblegum pink, or a slick clear gloss, your lips always look ready to deliver a line that will leave someone speechless.
━☆ Voluminous, Perfectly-Messy Hair – Like a pop princess who just stormed out of a retro music video. Big, bouncy, and dramatic—but never too polished.
━☆ Retro Glam Meets Futuristic Pop – The kind of beauty that feels both classic and ahead of its time, like a pop star from a parallel universe.
VIBE AND PRESENCE:
━☆ A Walking Manifesto – You radiate the energy of someone who knows exactly who they are and what they want. No apologies, no hesitation.
━☆ An Icon in the Making – People feel like they’re watching history unfold when they see you, as if you were born to be remembered.
━☆ Glittering Confidence with a Hint of Melancholy – You shine, you stun, but there’s always a little shadow behind the sparkle. Not sad, just aware.
━☆ A Human Pop Anthem – The embodiment of a song that’s both empowering and deeply personal. You are both the main character and the writer of your own story.
━☆ Unbothered but Passionate – You don’t chase approval, but when you love something, you love it with your whole heart.
━☆ The Aura of a Starlet Who Knows the Industry Is a Game – You play along, but you’re always ten steps ahead.
━☆ Charismatic but Untouchable – People want to be you, know you, understand you—but they never fully can.
MOVEMENT & MANNERISMS
━☆ Struts Like the Stage Is Always There – Every step feels purposeful, like you’re about to drop a new single.
━☆ Effortless Hair Tossing – Whether intentional or not, your hair always seems to move at exactly the right moment.
━☆ A Smirk That Says More Than Words Ever Could – Playful, knowing, and just the right amount of cocky.
━☆ Slow, Dramatic Blinks – Like you’re processing the world in high definition while everyone else is stuck on a lower setting.
━☆ Gestures That Belong in a Music Video – Expressive but controlled, like everything you do is meant to be watched.
━☆ Posture That Demands Attention – Standing tall, shoulders back, like you belong at the top.
SCENTS & ATMOSPHERE
Signature Scents: ━☆ Sweet but Dangerous – Think candy apples, warm vanilla, and a hint of something sharp, like spiced citrus or pepper. ━☆ Lipstick and Champagne – A mix of expensive perfume and a classic, powdery lipstick scent. ━☆ A Storm Before It Hits – Crisp, electric, and unpredictable, like the scent of rain in the air before a thunderstorm.
The Environment You Belong In: ━☆ A stage, drenched in pink lights, with a crowd screaming your name. ━☆ A retro diner at midnight, sipping a cherry soda with a secret to keep. ━☆ A neon-lit hotel room with a view of a city that never sleeps. ━☆ A convertible speeding down the highway, hair flying, music blasting.
EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL DEPTH
━☆ Soft at the Core, Steel at the Surface – You feel everything deeply, but you refuse to let the world break you.
━☆ A Lover and a Fighter – Love fiercely, dream bigger, refuse to settle for anything less than everything.
━☆ You Carry Your Own Universe – You don’t need permission to exist loudly. You don’t ask for space—you take it.
━☆ A Little Bit of Chaos, A Lot of Control – You let people think you’re predictable, but every move is calculated.
━☆ You Love Like a Pop Ballad and Burn Like an Anthem – Passionate, intense, and never halfway.
━☆ People Remember You Long After You’re Gone – Like a song stuck in their head that they didn’t realize was their favorite.
FASHION (HOW YOU DRESS)
Clothing Style: ━☆ Hyper-Feminine with an Edge – Think pleated skirts, corset tops, structured blazers, and thigh-high boots. Sweet but with sharp corners.
━☆ Retro Pop Star Energy – Vintage-inspired pieces that make you look like you just stepped off a 1960s or 1980s album cover.
━☆ Bold Colors and Playful Patterns – Hot pink, cherry red, electric blue, or anything that demands to be seen.
━☆ A Hint of Rebellion – Leather jackets over frilly dresses, combat boots with glittering tights, or a delicate pearl choker paired with a razor-sharp cat eye.
Jewelry & Accessories: ━☆ Chunky Heart-Shaped Earrings – Like something from a teenage dream. ━☆ Sunglasses That Hide Just Enough – Because mystery is part of the appeal. ━☆ Anything That Feels Like It Could Belong to a Pop Icon – Stacks of rings, statement chokers, or a charm bracelet with a story behind every piece.
THE EFFECT YOU HAVE ON OTHERS
━☆ "She’s the kind of girl who writes her own legend while the rest of us just watch."
━☆ "She’s a hurricane in lipstick, a storm in high heels."
━☆ "I don’t know if she’s a dream or a warning, but I can’t stop thinking about her."
━☆ "She makes you want to be someone worth remembering."
━☆ "I swear I heard her name in a song once—but maybe I just wish I had."
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salamandergoo ¡ 2 years ago
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This was written in snippets on a discord server, thought I’d clean it up and slap it here! Haven’t been able to stop thinking about roadie Steve 💕 There’s a lil bit of spice in here, just to keep things fun :)
Steve, after everything that happens, doesn’t really know what he wants to do. Working at Family Video is… fine, but Robin is finished with her gap year and now she’s getting acceptance letters and scholarship offers from colleges and trying to decide where to go.
She keeps asking him if he’ll be okay and Steve tells her to go because he’s excited for her! She’s excited too! And yeah, they’ve had nights where she stays over with him and they cry about how they won’t get to be attached at the hip, but they can’t stay in Hawkins, it’s not realistic. They’ll never be… okay, if they stay.
She goes off to college and absolutely loves it, she thrives there, and they’re in constant touch, but Steve feels like he’s lost a part of himself. His platonic soulmate, the woman he’s so used to just… being there, is gone. So when he’s invited to a Corroded Coffin gig, he jumps in, thinking that if nothing else, it’ll be a solid distraction from his wallowing.
They’ve played a few cities in Indiana, a frontman accused of satanic murders is pretty great for their image surprisingly enough, they’re just waiting for Gareth to finish school before they jump in fully. The show is pretty local, just barely outside of Hawkins city limits, but it’s refreshing for Steve to be… somewhere else, just for a night. And the gig is fun! Steve can’t hear the words to the songs too well, can’t keep up with the music so great, but he can feel it in his chest. And he loves the energy of it.
Partway through, something goes wrong with one of the amps and they’re trying to get it fixed. Steve offers to give them a hand, and in just a few minutes and some tinkering he has it working again. And the pats on the back from the guys and the bright smile from Eddie sparks something in Steve.
The next day, he finds himself in the library, checking out books on electrical equipment and instruments and anything he can think of, and starts reading up. By the time Gareth graduates and CC has a few shows set up, Steve comes along. He’s able to handle any technical difficulty they come across, he’s the guy making sure it all goes smoothly.
And suddenly they’re recording their first album and blowing up and Steve is their go to guy for live shows, he’s the first person on their payroll. For awhile, he’s the only one, he runs everything that isn’t playing music, but eventually, a few more hands are needed.
Eddie makes it clear that Steve is in charge, naturally trusting him to be the head of the road team.
The band is doing great and soon enough they’ve upgraded from Eddie’s van and Jeff’s station wagon to an actual tour bus. Eddie is so amped about it and it’s hard not to let his energy be infectious.
Of course, driving across hours of plains dims some of the excitement, but Eddie and Steve start to come up with… interesting ways to pass the time. Ever since they left Hawkins, Steve’s eyes have been wandering a bit. Turns out metal heads are his type, who could’ve guessed?
At first it was making out in an alley in Indy with a girl who had shaved hair and piercings shoving him against the wall and making him beg to eat her out. Then it was the boy in a leather jacket in the mosh pit in the middle of summer, sweat slick skin covered in ink and a gentle hand but commanding voice in a motel room. And then it was his own fantasies, covering his mouth as he touched himself in a shared hotel room bathroom thinking about Eddie, who else?
So there’s an ongoing game of gay chicken and Eddie hasn’t been quiet about his own conquests along the way. It’s little things, Steve shifting a little closer to Eddie on the bus, a hand on the thigh that creeps upwards, whispering in hushed tones just a little too close.
It finally snaps in California, a sold out show attended by Argyle and Jonathan (who moved back out west a few months after the world didn’t end). They’re slipped a few “party favors” before heading off to a motel for the night, a reprieve from the rumbling, uncomfortable mattresses on the bus. One of the rooms only has one bed because of a booking issue and before anyone can complain, Eddie snatches the key and declares that “Stevie’s with me”.
So the band splits up to go to the rooms, Eddie has to wait while Steve inspects the bed closely to make sure there’s nothing gross, and then they settle in, still sticky with sweat and buzzing with adrenaline. Eddie lights a joint and teases Steve a little with the way he groans and sighs as he takes a hit, but Steve gives as good as he gets
He straddles Eddie’s lap and asks to shotgun in this pretty, lilting voice, cocking his head in a way that makes his eyes, sparkling with mischief, catch the light just so. And Eddie isn’t going to deny a pretty boy on his lap, not when he’s seen Steve in those tight jeans. He takes another hit and tugs him in by the shirt collar, breathing out the thick smoke into Steve’s waiting, parted lips. And Eddie is treated to the sight of thick eyelashes fanned against freckles cheeks, the expanse of pale skin on Steve’s neck as he tilts his head back to avoid blowing the smoke back in Eddie’s face.
And Eddie can only restrain himself so much as he leans in and kisses the faded scar that cuts across Steve’s adams apple. Steve licks his lips and is looking at Eddie’s mouth when he opens his eyes and something between them snaps. He leans in and whispers, “kick me if I’m misreading this” before kissing Eddie on the lips. It’s firm, but not messy, charged and searching. Eddie has to take a second to remember how to move his limbs, holding Steve tight around the waist, careful not to bump the lit joint against his shirt.
He kisses back, but it’s not enough, he needs more, wants to ride out the low thrum of the coming high with Steve. He pulls back just long enough to take another hit and lifts a hand to cup Steve’s jaw. He breathes the smoke out, letting his tongue trace Steve’s lip as he takes it. Steve holds the smoke like a fucking expert, tangling his tongue with Eddie’s as he lets the smoke back out from the corner of his mouth. Eddie distantly wonders if he looks like a dragon like that, a thought that has him giggling. And then it’s really hitting him that he’s 1) a rockstar 2) making out with his high school crush Steve Harrington and 3) absolutely rock hard.
Judging by the pleased expression on Steve’s face when they part for air and the way he grinds his hips down slow and teasing, he definitely noticed that last part.
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anna-thesimp ¡ 1 year ago
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My love is mine all mine: Valentines day special (Late!)
Valentines Day was today and lots of couples came into the bistro. Vince put out a special for today and it was about the only thing sold that day. Once the bistro closed Vince was making sure everything was put in place.
  "Doing anything special today?" Rody was still here whichever shock Vincent but his expression didn't change.
  "No I'm not, you doing anything?" Vince was genuinely curious, but the tone and his face expression said otherwise.
  "I would, but my girl isn't picking up the phone, so I won't today." Vine thought for a second, but his words spilled out his mouth before realizing it.
  "Come over to my place for Valentines day."
  "What?" Vince tried to come up with something to cover up his awkwardness. Thank God his face was turned away from Rody, a splash of was on his cheeks.
  "This day isn't the best day be alone, and its your birthday, so come over to my place." Hopefully Rody didn't notice the nervousness in Vince's voice.
  "Sure what time?"
  "7 sharp."
  "Got it seen you then!" Rody's smiled left the building, pink was slapped back on Vince's cheek.
  Get yourself together Vincent you shouldn't act like this!
  He then left to go to his apartment.
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6:59. Vince wore an all black outfit, his hair looked slicked back. Then a knocked on his door, Vince went to open it and there was Rody, he looked out of breath, and wearing his casual outfit.
  "Did...I....make....it?" Vince looked at the time.
7 o'clock
  "Barley, Idiot, get inside." Rody step in and shut the door behind him.
  "I made some meatloaf, if you want anything." Vince nod his head to the meatloaf on the counter. Rody passed on it.
The two sat in awkward silence.
  "What do you usually do on your birthday?" Vince tried to break the awkwardness.
  "I would go out with my girlfriend for dinner and just talk with her." Vince face looked a little pissed.
  "Anything else?"
  "Oh! We dance! Have you ever danced Vince?" Rody's question answered with a head shake, there was a sad look on the gingers face.
Rody got up and looked around the apartment and saw a record player and looked at the Albums.
  "Do you mind?"
  "Not at all." Vince poured a glass of wine. Rody grab and album and carefully pulled out the record and set it carefully on the player. Then her put the little hand on the record as music plays.
(Play song here)
Rody walks over to Vince and put his hand out.
  "May I?" Vince felt the blood rush to his cheeks but it didn't appear that much. Putting his glass down and took Rody's hand..it felt warm as the sun, Vince's hand felt cold and freezing.
  "I'll take the lead in this one ok?" One hand was in Vince's, others on Vince's hip. Vince's hand was on Rody's shoulder. They started doing a waltz as Rody leads Vince's body.
"One-two-three, one-two-three," Rody counts in his head. The two were barely touching the ground at this point. Vince was shocked how good Rody was at dancing. Out of nowhere Rody Spins Vince's body like it was nothing Rody's laughter filled the air.
Baster. Vince had a smile on his face as he was drop to the ground again, clearly dizzy Rody held onto Vince, their faces where inches apart.
  "You good?" Rody double checks on Vince just to make sure he was ok.
  "Promise not to quit after I do this."
  "What?"
Cold lips found a pair of warm lips.
If it wasn't perfect nothing was at that moment. Vince hand cuped Rody's cheek as they pressed their lips against eachother. Unexpected Rody was push back into the couch a small chuckle left Rody's lips.
  "Do you wanna continue?" Vince immediately placed his Lips back on Rody's for a moment...Nothing matter.
After a few minutes they released eachother from their arms. Sitting back up in the couch Rody and Vince where getting their gasp of air.
  "I made some Cake if you want any." Rody nods as they enjoyed a slice.
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Fuck. Vince woke up the pink painted on his cheeks. It was just a dream....why did it feel so real?
------ 717 words
Note this chapter is a special and not part my story i just wanted to make it :)
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weareapackofstrays ¡ 1 year ago
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Stray Kids Members as Taylor Swift Albums
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Bang Chan | Folklore
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"You drew stars around my scars, but now I'm bleedin’. ‘Cause I knew you, steppin' on the last train marked me like a bloodstain, I...I knew you tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy, I...I knew you leavin' like a father, running like water, I...And when you are young, they assume you know nothing. But I knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss. I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs. The smell of smoke would hang around this long, ‘cause I knew everything when I was young."
Lee Know | Lover
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"My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in. Everyone looked worse in the light. There are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven. I’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye. I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you. I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you. I’ve been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night and now I see daylight, I only see daylight." Changbin | Evermore
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"I'm like the water when your ship rolled in that night. Rough on the surface, but you cut through like a knife. And if it was an open-shut case I never would've known from that look on your face. Lost in your current like a priceless wine. The more that you say, the less I know. Wherever you stray, I follow. I’m begging for you to take my hand. Wreck my plans, that’s my man." Hyunjin | Fearless
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"I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain. It’s 2 a.m. and I'm cursing your name. I’m so in love that I acted insane. And that's the way I loved you. Breaking down and coming undone. It’s a roller coaster kind of rush and I never knew I could feel that much. And that's the way I loved you." Han Jisung | Midnights
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“I find myself running home to your sweet nothings. Outside, they're push and shoving. You’re in the kitchen humming. All that you ever wanted from me was nothing. Industry disruptors and soul deconstructors and smooth-talking hucksters out glad-handing each other. And the voices that implore, 'You should be doing more' to you, I can admit that I’m just too soft for all of it." Felix | Speak Now
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"This night is flawless, don't you let it go. I’m wonderstruck, dancing around all alone. I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you. This is me praying that this was the very first page. Not where the story line ends. My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again. These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon. I was enchanted to meet you." Seungmin | Reputation
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"All my flowers grew back as thorns. Windows boarded up after the storm. He built a fire just to keep me warm. All the drama queens taking swings, all the jokers dressin' up as kings. They fade to nothin' when I look at him. And I know I make the same mistakes every time. Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right. I did one thing right. I’m laughin' with my lover, makin’ forts under covers. Trust him like a brother, yeah, you know I did one thing right. Starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night." I.N | 1989
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"You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye and I got that red lip classic thing that you like. And when we go crashing down, we come back every time ‘cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style. You got that long hair, slicked back, white T-shirt and I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt. And when we go crashing down, we come back every time ‘cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style."
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I was inspired by a reel/tiktok I saw of Stray Kids being assigned a Taylor Swift song. As well as a Minsung reel featuring a Taylor song and I just felt like Lee Know gave me Lover vibes and Jisung gave me Midnights vibes and I ran with it. Just my silly opinion. All for fun. Definitely see her albums being interchangeable for any of them. Graphics by @saradika-graphics!
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hippiegoth97 ¡ 1 year ago
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Diary of a Hawkins Hussy: A Stranger Things x Reader Anthology
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Banner by me :)
Master List
Content Warning 18+ Only, Minors DNI: swearing, smut, smoking, fingering, oral sex, protected sex, heavy kissing/groping, multiple orgasms, light squirting, rough sex, use of handcuffs, praise/degradation, overstimulation, light crying, dirty talk, brief LGBTQ+ references
Word Count: 13.5k
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Divider by @firefly-graphics
Diary Entry #4: Eddie Munson
June 5th, 1984
Dear diary,
After over a month of non-stop paperwork and interviews, among other things, I have finally gotten the hang of running Waxed Out 100% on my own. I have hired a couple kids to work below me, and they are exactly what I was looking for. There's Alex, a bright young boy who is obsessed with rock n' roll. He can tell you every band member, the instruments they play, stories behind their songs/albums, etc. He's like a living encyclopedia. I also hired a girl named Julie, who reminds me of a younger version of myself. She's very well-versed in most genres, and she has the most primo picks when it comes to playing music in the store. We're the dream team, us three. They're very respectful and eager to learn, and Icouldn't be happier with them as employees.
Despite figuring my shit out at work, however, a certain old flame of mine has quickly moved on to dating someone else I happen to have previously slept with. I don't want to go into detail about that, though. It's honestly too painful. It's bad enough to see them out together, kissing and giggling the way they used to with me. But it's for the best, and I can surely find someone else to date or fuck quite easily.
Moving on to more amusingthings, I happened to catch a sneaky little shoplifter today. Well, more like I caught him before he could even manage to take anything...
You're sitting on the stool behind the counter, reading another one of your novels as usual on a slow afternoon. Alex has just left for the day, so you're on your own until closing time. You don't mind it, you like the quiet. Alex, despite his great work ethic and extensive musical knowledge, can be quite the chatterbox. It's a bit tedious at times, though you'd never say so. He's only sixteen, and he's a nice kid. You would never hurt his feelings.
The bell above the door tinkles, and you barely look up from your book to see a somewhat familiar face. An older boy, with brown, curly hair that goes just past his chin, full lips, and slightly oversized brown eyes. He's dressed in dark-colored jeans held up with a belt bearing a buckle in the shape of handcuffs, with a Metallica t-shirt and a battle vest loaded with various patches up top. Weathered converse adorn his feet, classic black with that iconic star logo on the outer side. He looks like the typical kid you see in here, browsing around for the latest rebellious sound.
His eyes meet yours for a moment, before quickly darting away. Perhaps he's shy, which is your first thought. But he moves oddly around the store, seemingly trying to find the most obscured view from where you sit. A thief, huh?, you think to yourself. These dumbass kids always think they're so slick. But they're not slick enough for you. You watch him closely, flicking your pupils up from your novel in a subtle way. He keeps looking back at you to see if you're paying attention, so you have to let him think you're none the wiser. He settles on the heavy metal section of cassette tapes. Small, easy to stow away in pants pockets, makes sense he'd try that. But before he can even lift a finger to touch the tape he's got his eye on, you speak up.
"If you even think of stealing from me, I'll have you on the floor in three seconds flat." You say sternly, making him freeze in place. He's unsure what to do. Should he try to take the tape and run? Or stay put until you ream him for attempting to steal? "Come here, kid." You order him over, marking your place and setting your novel down on the counter. The kid turns around, looking absolutely terrified. He shuffles over to you, shame playing about his fearful face. He doesn't look at you, his eyes trained on the floor until he meets the counter. "What's your name?" You ask. At first he doesn't answer, shaking his head. You sigh, rolling your eyes. "I'm not gonna call the cops. I just want to talk to you." You say calmly, which seems to relax him a little. He raises his head, and swallows hard.
"Eddie." He almost mumbles, picking at his fingers anxiously.
"What?" You ask, having not fully heard him.
"My name, is Eddie." He repeats himself, speaking more clearly now.
"Alright, Eddie. How old are you?" You continue to question him, noting how much he's shaking.
"E-Eighteen." Eddie stutters, which you can't help finding a little bit cute. If he hadn't been trying to take something without paying, you'd say he's pretty easy on the eyes altogether.
"Okay. You mind telling me what you were after over there?" You figure there's no need to spend much time berating him for such a petty crime. There must be a reason he wanted...something over there. And you can't bear to quash anyone's passion for music, not even in this instance.
"Um...Defenders of The Faith." Eddie blurts, wondering why you're even asking.
"Judas Priest, huh?" You say with a light laugh, taking a closer look at his patches now. MotĂśrhead, Iron Maiden, Megadeth. Yep, it's just as you suspected. He's a full-blown metalhead.
"You know them?" He asks curiously.
"I know I don't look it, Eddie. But I'm quite familiar with metal music. Well, all music, really. I can't manage this store without the musical knowledge to back it up, you know." You chuckle, watching his eyes widen in awe of you. He appears to find you extremely cool in this moment. How cute.
"Sorry. I swear, I didn't mean anything by that." Eddie apologizes, though you understand perfectly what he meant.
"It's alright. I'm not offended." You giggle, making him laugh gently as well. He's got a nice laugh, you could definitely stand to hear it quite often.
"You do look a little young to be running this shop all by yourself, though." He says, finding it a bit strange that such a young, beautiful woman like yourself would be working in a dusty old store like this.
"You could say that. I'm nineteen, getting close to twenty, if you must know." You reply, and he smiles a little wider at your response. "What?" You ask, wondering why he's so happy about that.
"Nothing. You're just...really pretty." He says bashfully, his cheeks turning red. "A-And it's impressive that you run this place all by yourself." He adds, hoping he's not insulting you by focusing on your looks.
"Well, Eddie, I'm very flattered. And, lucky for you, flattery works with me." You say lowly, giving him a certain look with your eyes that only deepens the crimson on his flesh. "How 'bout this: you bring that tape you want over here, and I'll give it to you on the house? Hm?" You offer.
"Really?" Eddie asks in disbelief. Just a few minutes ago, you were ready to tackle him to the floor for shoplifting. And now, you're going to let him have that coveted album for his collection for free?
"Yeah. You seem nice enough, and you've got good taste." You smile and shrug. He nods his head, and practically skips over to the section to retrieve the tape. He sets it on the counter, and you ring it in and bag it up for him. You write down the price for later, you'll pay it out of your own pocket at the end of the day. "Here you go. And one more thing, Eddie. If you want to shop here, please bring money next time?"
"Yeah, I will. And I'm sorry for trying to steal from you...Y/N." He says apologetically, reading your name from your tag as you hadn't told it to him yourself.
"It's alright. I used to have sticky fingers, too, once upon a time." You grin, reminiscing on your high school days of snatching the occasional pack of gum or tube of lipstick when you were bored. "Well, I dunno about you, but I've got a novel to get back to." You say, interrupting your own nostalgic daydreaming.
"Oh, right. I'd better get goin' anyway." Eddie adds awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "But it was nice to meet you, Y/N. Thanks for the tape, and for not calling the cops." He laughs, picking up the small paper bag in his hands.
"No problem, Eddie. I'm sure I'll see you around. Let me know how that tape suits you when you come in again. I'd love to hear your thoughts." You say cooly, and he nods in response. He backs away from the counter, clumsily bumping into the record shelving. You can't help giggling a little at his misstep, it's quite obvious that he finds you attractive.
"Shit." He mutters under his breath, blushing again at his clumsiness. He gives you a weak laugh and smile, before turning around and running out of the store in embarrassment. You watch him step out onto the street, and laugh a little harder at his palm smacking against his forehead as he scolds himself.
June 8th, 1984
Dear diary,
Eddie stopped by again, and we talked at length about the album I let him walk away with. We discussed our favorite tracks, mine being "Love Bites", and his choice, "Eat Me Alive". The whole thing is extremely solid, not to mention rather sexy, in a very aggressive way. But that's the way I like it. As does Eddie, I would imagine. He kind of danced around that subject as much as he could, though. I don't blame him, it's not exactly comfortable to talk in detail about sex to someone you've just met (and totally have a crush on).But we're definitely sharing a vibe, there's no doubt about that.
Our conversation ventured to other areas, like other bands in the genre. Metallica is a big-time favorite for him. I'm more of a Sabbath girl, myself, but there's not much to dislike within that whole scene. It felt like we talked for hours, while also not being nearly enough time before I got a bit of a rush in the store. I recommended some new stuff for Eddie to try, which he didn'twaste a second in purchasing when I had to get back to work. He hadn't heard of Dokken before, which was a real shame, in my opinion. They're a little more glam than the stuff Eddie seems to like, but I have a feeling he'll enjoy them. If I've read him as well as I think I have, that is. I can't wait to hear what he thinks, he's a highly stimulating conversation partner.
June 11th, 1984
Dear diary,
My little wannabe thief returned again today. He absolutely devoured Tooth and Claw, which I was hoping he would. He said he played it over and over, really listening to the words, while also thinking about me. In what manner that was, I have no idea. He kind of froze up for a second after he said that, like he had never meant to tell me such a thing. It was really cute, though. Ugh, the way his cheeks went all red, and his breath got stuck in his throat... It was a beautiful sight.
He hung around for a while, I'd have a mind to call it loitering if Ididn't like him so much. But it's honestly really nice to have him around, he's far more entertaining than the novels I keep burning through every day. He's smart, and funny, and a total nerd on top of all that. He absolutely will not shut up about Lord of the Rings and Dungeons & Dragons, not that I'd ever want him to. Eddie's so passionate when he speaks, he's mesmerizing to watch. And Ican't help resting my head in my hand as I dreamily observe him going on and on about anything and everything.
I'd very much like to hang out with him outside of work sometime. But hell if I know if that's something he'd be interested in. I mean, Iknow we like each other. But he's sort of shy at times, and I'd hate to drive him into his shell if I push him too far. I think it's probably best to wait for him to make that move, if that's what he wants. I don't want him to stop coming in, and Idon't want to lose the nice talks we have at the shop. Eddie brightens my day every timeI see him, making the ones where he doesn't pop in feel gloomy in comparison.
June 15th, 1984
Dear diary,
It's been a few days since I've seen Eddie. It's not a huge deal, but it's like I've said before, I really enjoy being around him. I can't help my head snapping up to see if he's the one walking in the door every time that damn bell rings. But of course, it hasn't been him yet. In the meantime, I replay the conversations we've had on repeat in my mind, remembering how perfect his plush lips look when he talks. Or the way his eyes almost never leave mine when he's listening to me, those large pools of luscious chocolate that I could get lost in for hours. Or the lines that indent his gorgeous face whenever he smiles or scrunches his nose. I've got it bad, diary. I want this ridiculous, charming, handsome young man, to a point where I'm seriously questioning my sanity.
June 18th, 1984
Dear diary,
Just when I was starting to get worried that I'd never see my new acquaintance again, he showed up at the perfect time. My heart almost exploded when I saw his face, and I had to keep myself from going all giddy when he sidled up to the counter...
"Hey there, long-time no-see, Eddie. What have you been getting up to?" You chirp as Eddie comes right over to you.
"Uh, not much. Just been tryin' to talk my uncle into letting me get my GED instead of repeating senior year." He speaks casually, giving you a warm smile. "How's the store goin'?" He leans over the counter on his forearms, getting very comfortable in your personal space.
"The shop's been alright, nothing unusual. It's been missing you, though, I suppose." You reply, feeling your cheeks heat up at how close he is. He's gotten this close before, but it feels different today. Maybe it's because he's been away so long, and you've been thinking about him almost every second in his absence.
"Aw, you missed me? That's sweet." Eddie teases, making you roll your eyes. "Relax, Y/N. I missed you, too. I kept thinking about the next time I'd be able to come in here and be a pain in your ass." He says playfully, leaning even further towards you. For a brief moment, you're almost within kissing distance. That is, until Eddie loses his balance and almost slips onto the floor. He backs off to reorient himself, giving you a small glare when you giggle at his clumsiness.
"You can come back here if you want. Might keep you from falling on your ass." You offer, you figure there's no harm in it. He's not going to steal from you, and you're stuck in yet another snail-paced day in terms of business.
"Cool, thanks." He grins, practically scurrying around the counter to join you in the employee area. He hops up to sit on the edge, swinging his legs back and forth.
"Cute." You muse, settling back onto your stool across from him. You both sit quietly for a little while, unsure what else to say. The only sounds you can hear are the cars passing by down the street outside, and the Prince album playing at a reasonable volume on the store's sound system.
"So...what now?" Eddie asks, breaking the awkward moment of silence.
"I dunno, Eds. I kinda thought you'd be the one bringing the conversation." You answer, and he nods. You carefully observe him, his shifting gaze, his fingers fidgeting with the massive rings that rest upon them. He's thinking very hard of something to say, trying his best to keep you from becoming bored with him.
"Right." He chuckles nervously, nodding his head. "Well, I was thinking..." He pauses, trying to find the words. You look at him expectantly, and he continues. "...I-I was wondering if you'd, um..." He keeps fumbling over his own train of thought, but you can already gather what he's getting at. A knowing smile grows on your lips, though Eddie isn't sure why. You let him take his time, he'll get the words out eventually. "Would you like to, uh...hang out sometime?" He finally finishes, his tone heightening at the words 'hang out'.
"And what exactly would you have in mind for us to do if we 'hang out', Eddie?" You ask curiously, crossing your arms. Given his nervousness, you can tell he's been thinking about this a lot. Surely he has some kind of plan in place, whether it's just listening to music and talking, or doing intimate things in either of your homes.
"Well, I was thinking you could come over to my place. We could listen to tapes in my room, or watch a movie or somethin'." He shrugs, trying to sound casual. But the light quiver in his voice gives him away. He's been dying to get closer to you, you've been taking over his mind since you gave him that tape. You're so pretty, and sweet, and you listen to him ramble on for hours. No one else has ever done that for him. Not even his uncle Wayne, supportive as he is. Every time he's been around you, he gets this unbearable urge to pull you close and kiss you. It's not exactly a common occurrence for him, and even less so for those feelings to seemingly be reciprocated.
"I'd be alright with that." You say with a smile, hopping down from your stool to slowly walk over to Eddie. "Is there anything else you've been thinking about doing with me, Eds?" You ask innocently, peering up at him from under your lashes once you're standing right in front of him.
"I-I guess." He stutters, swallowing hard at you invading his space this time.
"And what would that be?" You question, stepping between his legs that he's had spread apart this whole time. You're not touching him, you're just occupying the gap he's left wide open.
"I dunno if I should say. I don't want you to think I'm a perv or something." Eddie holds your gaze, wondering what you're going to say or do next. He'd love nothing more than to admit all the dirty things he's thought about you. How he's held himself in his hand at night, quietly murmuring your name while listening to the albums you've shown him, imagining you there with him in his room doing very inappropriate things.
"I wouldn't think that at all, Eddie." You shake your head, giving him a reassuring smile. He doesn't say anything else, he's too busy thinking about the filthy scenarios in his head again. "You don't have to tell me if it'll make you uncomfortable. We can talk about it later, when we're in your room...if you'd like." You speak lowly, gently placing your hands on his thighs. His breath catches at your touch, and his eyes refuse to leave yours. "How's Friday night sound?"
"Sounds great." He smiles, eager to have these plans with you.
"Good. I'm looking forward to it." Your hands travel further up his legs, stopping just before you reach where his hands have been resting between them. Eddie sighs quietly, enjoying the simple ways you've been touching him. He's excited for you to touch him even more on Friday, and he's even more excited to touch you in all the ways he'll hope you'll like. He can't wait to see what turns you on, how easily and frequently he can make you moan for him. He's getting a little hard just thinking about it. Thankfully, his draped hands obscure your view of the subtle erection growing in his jeans.
"Cool." Eddie clears his throat, quickly trying to make his boner go away so he can leave. He doesn't want you to see how easily horny you've made him, it's seriously embarrassing. He quickly thinks about all the things that definitely turn him off, holding back his sigh of relief once he's no longer aroused. He takes hold of your hands, gently grasping them in his own, the backs of his palms resting on his thighs. "I really like you, Y/N." Eddie says sweetly, brushing his thumbs across your skin.
"I really like you too, Eds." You reply with a warm smile. He seems much more relaxed now, comfortable in your presence once again. It is a bit fun to watch someone get flustered when you flirt with them, but it's even better to witness them unfurl like a budding flower. Opening up to you, accepting your advances.
"Can I..." He starts to ask, raising a hand to cup your cheek. He can't help but pause, he's unsure that a move like this is right. At least so early. You can feel calluses on his hands, presumably from playing guitar. He's mentioned it before, his 'shitty little band', as he put it.
"Can you what?" You almost whisper when the rest of his words don't come. You already know what he's going to ask, but you long to hear him actually say it out loud.
"Can I kiss you?" He asks again, much more confident this time. You're just about to respond by bringing your lips toward his, when the bell above the door jingles. You immediately pull away, turning your attention to whoever has annoyingly destroyed your little moment with Eddie. You clear your throat, returning to your usual position at the register.
"Hey kiddos, what brings you in today?" You ask when you look to find Will Byers and his friends coming through the door in a loud bundle. They're bickering over their next D&D campaign, but they quickly stop once you acknowledge them.
"Y/N!" They shout excitedly in unison, running over to the counter. You come around to greet them, letting them each give you a small hug. You almost forget that Eddie is still here. You're a bit preoccupied with the boys talking over each other to ask you about the new albums they've been waiting on.
"Hey, Y/N. I'm gonna get goin'. But I'll see you on Friday, 'kay?" Eddie says, getting out of your area and heading for the door. He's walking backwards, wanting to see your face one last time before he departs. You suppose he's in a bit of a hurry after failing to kiss you.
"Sure thing! Can't wait!" You call after him, giving him the biggest genuine smile you can. He nods, smiling himself. He turns around and walks out of the shop. You watch him make his way down the street, feeling a bit bad that you've missed out on that kiss. Oh well, you'll get another chance in a mere four days. In the meantime, you've got four of your best customers waiting for your assistance.
...Well, it's safe to say the rest of the day was not nearly as eventful as Eddie's visit. I've been compulsively reminding myself of every small detail of our interaction far too often. The scent of Eddie's cigarettes and cheap cologne, the warmth radiating from his thighs inside his jeans when I touched him, those all-too-perfect lips of his calling my name. Shit, diary, I'm totally screwed on Friday. I don't know if I'll even manage to get through the door to his place beforeI pounce on him. Although, I now realize he's never told me where he lives. Hopefully he'll come around again at some point to clear that up for me.
June 20th, 1984
Dear diary,
I had a dream about Eddie last night. It was mostly kissing, but if my alarm hadn't taken me out of it, it definitely would've gone to very interesting places. Either way, it was wonderful. We were on my couch, and I was straddling his lap. Eddie's lips were soft and warm. He was the perfect balance of gentle and rough with me. He tasted like beer as his tongue tangled with mine. He didn't do that annoying thing younger guys do where they essentially try to eat your face. Ugh, I've always hated too much tongue. His hands wandered to all the right places, hungrily grabbing at my ass and chest while we were making out. I'm getting a little hot just thinking about it, and it wasn't even real. Not yet, anyway. Friday can't come soon enough, it's killing me to wait so long. And my sex-crazed brain fueling the fire with steamy dreams certainly isn't helping. I only hope Eddie can keep up, but I have a feeling he'll exceed my expectations.
June 23rd, 1984
Dear diary,
'The morning after'. It's a very interesting phrase. We all know what it means, hell, there's even a pill named after it. It's a rather bittersweet saying as well. On the one hand, you get to relive the pleasant experience you shared with another person (or multiple people, if you're lucky). But on the other, it signals the end of the fun, and you have to go back to your boring life once you eat and hose yourself off.
Lucky for me, though, I get to indulge in the sweet side of the morning following a very pleasurable night. I'm still in Eddie's bed as we speak, and he's making us some breakfast. I can smell the bacon sizzling, and the cinnamon from the French toast. I'm sure I'm gonna enjoy it. But not nearly as much as I enjoyed the time we spent together last night...
You pull up to Eddie's trailer around 9:30pm, killing the engine of your little junker before stepping out onto the gravel. Eddie called you about an hour before closing time at the shop, giving you the address. He seemed a bit ashamed of where he lives over the phone, but you didn't give him any reason to think you'd look down on him for it. It's just a home, like any other. And it's not like your apartment is exactly Shangri-la, either. You pull you overnight bag over your shoulder, one you'd packed very early this morning as you couldn't focus on sleeping. You shut the car door, and head up the small steps to the trailer. You knock, and wait for Eddie to come let you in.
You can hear the Judas Priest album you gave him playing over a stereo on one end of the trailer, presumably his bedroom. The stereo suddenly turns off, and quick footsteps make their way over to you. The door swings open to reveal your companion for the evening. "Hey, Y/N. Come in." Eddie smiles, opening the door wider and extending his arm to coax you inside. "You look great." He compliments you, his eyes dragging over your tight jean shorts and Metallica t-shirt.
"Thanks. So do you." You reply kindly, paying respect to his usual getup. "Where's your room? I want to put my bag down." You ask, looking around the humble abode. It's small, but mostly tidy. There's clutter here and there, but it's far from unclean. Mugs and baseball caps line the walls of the living room, definitely a prized collection. You doubt that Eddie would hoard such things, they're probably his uncle's. The various furniture is simple, faded and worn around the edges, but still perfectly functional.
"Oh, sure. Uh, this way." He points awkwardly down the hall, stepping ahead of you to lead the way. You follow him down the somewhat narrow space, entering a door at the very end of it. There's a decent-sized bed in the room, and various posters, banners, and drawings on the walls. There's also a couple guitars and an amp in the room, and other random things a teenage boy would own. It's a little more messy in here, clothes strewn about and overflowing from the dresser drawers, a couple empty beer cans on the night table. But you've seen worse. "Shit. Sorry it's kind of a mess. I'd meant to clean up, but time got away from me." Eddie chuckles awkwardly, hurriedly attempting to clean up.
"It's fine, Eds. As long as there's no roaches or rats, I don't mind." You reply, setting your bag down on the floor in the corner of the room.
"Oh, we are definitely pest-free in the Munson household. Although, there may be a few spiders." Eddie replies, making you giggle.
"So, what do you wanna do?" You ask, plopping down on Eddie's bed, which is dressed with a wrinkled brown comforter and well slept-on pillows. You lean back on your hands, kicking off your shoes while glancing at him casually.
"Well, we could pick up where we left off on Monday." Eddie suggests, giving you a cheeky grin.
"Been thinking about that a lot, have you?" You tease, patting the spot beside you on the bed. He comes over, sitting as close to you as he possibly can.
"Maybe." He shrugs, though the way he says it definitely means 'yes'.
"Well, so have I." You put your hand on his thigh, gazing deep into his eyes. Your mouth is not very far from his, it would take no effort at all to finally get a taste of him. "I had a dream about you, ya know." You blurt out the words, oddly compelled to as you stare at his beautiful mouth.
"Yeah? What did we do in your dream?" He asks, just as mesmerized by your proximity.
"This." You whisper, leaning in closer to bridge the gap that's beginning to feel miles long. Your mouth meets his, and time itself seems to stop. He tastes exactly how you thought he would in your dream, with a hint of tobacco as well. Eddie hums quietly into the kiss, bringing a hand up to cradle the back of your head. Your mouths move in sync, with just the right amount of tenderness and passion. You maneuver yourself to straddle his lap, just like your dream. Your tongues come out to play, teasing one another to turn up the heat. Your head feels light, and Eddie's does too. Flares of excitement course through you, driving you to bury your fingers in his hair, while his hands lower to grip your waist. "Mmm." You moan lightly, grinding yourself onto him.
You can feel Eddie getting hard underneath you, and you're tempted to reach down and palm him through his jeans. "Slow down, baby. We've got all night." Eddie says, pulling his lips away from yours to breathe.
"Sorry." You say breathlessly, letting go of his head. You really want to savor every moment, to truly take your time. You just got a little ahead of yourself.
"Don't be. Just relax, I'm not goin' anywhere." He reassures you, still holding your hips respectfully. You stay sitting on his lap, the both of you taking a minute to admire one another in this new light. "So, did we do anything else in this dream of yours?" He asks curiously.
"Uh, not really. Well, you grabbed my ass and tits, I guess." You explain, feeling a little silly saying all of this out loud.
"Oh, like this?" He questions, moving his hands lower to take rough handfuls of your butt.
"Yeah." You moan lightly at the contact, and his smile grows wider.
"And..." He stops squeezing your behind, traveling upwards now to grab your breasts through your shirt. "...like this?" He asks you again, his cock twitching at the whimper that escapes you.
"Fuck, yes." You respond, loving the way his large palms feel when they touch you.
"God, you're gorgeous." Eddie muses, drawing more little noises from your lips. "I've dreamt about you too, sweetheart." He says lowly, dropping the pet name like it's nothing at all. It's sounds so good coming from his lips, and you can't wait to hear it again.
"And what happened in your dream?" You ask, curious what his own mind holds in terms of fantasies. He's still groping your chest, which is making you very wet inside your shorts.
"Same as yours...except I was doing this." He says, leaning his head down to kiss your neck. His lips returning to your flesh feels absolutely exquisite. He moves his mouth on you slowly, employing his teeth and tongue to mark you with a dark hickey.
"Eddie." You moan involuntarily, lacing your left hand in his hair to keep him close to you.
"Mmm, and you definitely did that, princess." Eddie chuckles darkly, breath fanning hotly across your skin. He switches sides now, and you in turn switch hands. You have to have him as near to you as possible, you strangely feel like he might disappear if you let go for too long. His hands continue to massage your chest, causing more arousal to spread through your panties at the sensation. You grind your hips again, drawing a muted groan from him. "Havin' fun, baby?" He asks, nipping you a little bit harder this time.
"Yes, Eddie. You're really good at this." You pant, your nails digging into his scalp. You roll your hips over and over, slow as you can manage. Eddie keeps quietly moaning and grunting against you. Not because he doesn't want to make any noise. It's more that he doesn't want to disturb the sounds of heavy breathing and clothes brushing against each other.
"Let's take a little break, sweetheart." Eddie says, pulling his mouth away from your throat and taking hold of your hips to still them. You're driving him crazy with all your grinding, and he needs to slow down if he's going to keep up with you.
"Sure. You got anything to drink?" You ask, sliding off of Eddie's lap to sit on the bed again.
"Uh, yeah." He stands up abruptly, getting ready to retrieve what you're asking for. "Is beer alright?" He asks.
"Yeah, that's fine." You reply mindlessly, your gaze fixed on the large bulge inside his jeans. You want so badly to get on your knees, and take his cock in your mouth. Eddie's eyes follow your stare, and he looks down to find what you're practically drooling over. He blushes harshly at the obvious sign of his excitement, you've already had such a strong affect on him.
"I'll be right back then." He says, leaving the room. You're snapped out of your trance once his erection is out of your view, left alone in Eddie's bedroom for a moment. You casually look around, taking in more details of the space. You peruse the contents of the night table, sunglasses, condoms, an ashtray, a couple Heavy Metal magazines. Nothing too exciting. Your eyes wander along the walls instead, admiring the banner for Eddie's band, Corroded Coffin. You imagine he made it himself, perhaps with his other band mates. And then you happen upon something you didn't notice at all until now. A pair of handcuffs hanging on the wall. You wonder where he got them...and if he's ever used them on anybody. "Here ya go." Eddie says as he hands off a bottle of beer to you.
"You ever use those before, Eds?" You ask casually, gesturing at the cuffs before taking a swig of your beer. It's nice and cold from the fridge, cooling down your boiling insides a little.
"Oh, um...no. They're more of a gag than anything." He explains nervously, hoping you aren't put off by them, or thinking he's some kind of deviant.
"Really? That's too bad." You say cheekily.
"Have you ever used handcuffs before?" Eddie asks, his interest piqued.
"A couple of times." You answer honestly.
"Were they used on you, or someone else?" He continues, needing to know everything he can about your prior experience.
"Let's just say I really like having my hands tied." You reply seductively, your hand finding his thigh once again. You give him a hungry look, smirking at his eyes going wide. "What? Too kinky for you?" You tease, taking another gulp of your drink.
"No, not at all. I'm just surprised." Eddie says nervously, downing his own beer to calm himself down. It appears you're much more experienced than him, and he's afraid to let you down. It's not like he's a virgin or anything, he's had sex plenty of times before. But he worries that maybe he won't be as exciting as you'd like him to be.
"Would you like to try it with me, Eddie?" You offer, noticing his unease. He's probably doubting himself now, wondering if he's good enough. The last thing you want is for him to lack confidence.
"Yeah. I'll have to find the keys for them, though." He smiles, relaxing a little at your offer.
"That's alright. We won't need them for a while anyway." You scoot a little closer to him on the bed, your leg resting against his. "I love this room, by the way. It's really cozy." You say kindly, putting the dirty thoughts away for a little while. As much as you want to jump Eddie's bones, it wouldn't hurt to have some nice moments with him that don't revolve around sex.
"Thanks. I'm glad you think so." Eddie replies, looking down at the floor as he speaks.
"You don't?"
"I dunno." He shrugs. "I guess it feels lonely to me more than anything else." He says sadly.
"Oh. I didn't think about it that way." You can't feeling bad for Eddie, you always seem to forget that he's far from a popular person. You don't really understand why, though. He's kind, and funny, and intelligent. What's not to like?
"Sorry, I'm not meaning to kill the mood." He scoffs at himself for being such a downer, finishing his drink. He reaches over to put the empty bottle on the night table, settling back into his spot afterwards.
"It's fine. You're just being honest. And I like that about you." You polish off your beer as well, and crawl over the bed to lie down. "C'mere, handsome." You beckon him to follow your lead, but he stands up instead. You're confused, until you see him going to the stereo on his dresser.
"Just a sec, I wanna put something on." He says, pushing the rewind button to reset the tape he has in mind. It takes a few seconds, but then you hear "Freewheel Burning" kick on through the speakers. He turns down the volume a little, enough so you can hear the song while being able to maintain conversation. He comes back to the bed, smiling excitedly. Eddie lays down beside you, the two of you gazing into each other's eyes again.
"How many times have you listened to this tape anyway?" You ask, bringing your hand up to playfully stroke his chest.
"Shit, I dunno. Like...thirty?" He says with a laugh, realizing how desperate that might sound after the words have already passed his lips.
"Damn, that's some serious dedication." You chuckle.
"Well, I can't really help it that every time I play it, I'm reminded of the beautiful girl who gave it to me." He says sweetly, brushing some loose hairs behind your ear. He cups your cheek afterwards, and presses his lips to yours. You instantly melt into the kiss, letting Eddie take the lead. He rolls you both over to kneel above you, slipping his tongue into your mouth. Your hands find the hem of his shirt, gently tugging it upwards for him to take it off. Eddie pulls away, sitting up to remove it. He whips the shirt over his head, exposing his scrawny, yet slightly toned, chest. A black widow spider is tattooed on the upper left side, and it looks relatively new.
"Nice tat, baby. It's very sexy." You reach up to touch it when he lowers himself over you again. His breath hitches at your fingertips on his bare skin. You trace the outline of the spider's legs and body, admiring the mostly-steady line work.
"Thanks. Got it a couple months ago." Eddie grins, watching you take in every little detail of his ink. "Do you have any tattoos, sweetheart?" He asks.
"No. I've always wanted one, though." You reply, meeting his eyes again.
"What kind would you get?" He questions, lowering his head to kiss your neck.
"Fuck." You whimper, your nails digging into his chest. He groans at the sting, still waiting for your answer. "I'm not sure. Maybe a music note, or a flower or something." You say breathily, enjoying the feeling of Eddie's teeth nibbling your skin.
"Ugh, those are so cheesy, Y/N." He moans in disappointment. "You can do better than that." He encourages you to dig deeper, to think of something you'd truly want to have on your body forever.
You mull it over for a moment, laughing lightly when you come up with the perfect thing. "Alright, I'd get a little vinyl record, then. A tribute to my love of music." You say, extremely proud of yourself. He looks up at you with an approving smile.
"That's more like it." He chuckles, giving you a small kiss on the lips. "How far do you wanna go tonight, baby?" He asks, though judging from the size of the bag you brought, you plan to spend the entire night with him.
"As far as you're willing to take me, Eddie." You reply softly, taking off your own t-shirt now. You toss it away to the floor, revealing your baby blue bra. You gently push on Eddie's chest, ushering him to roll over onto his back. He does it without even thinking, his hands finding your bare waist once you're on top. You reach around your back to unclasp your bra, and Eddie's pupils dilate as he takes in the sight of your beautiful tits.
"Damn." He murmurs. You grab hold of his hands, slowly dragging them up your sides and towards your breasts. He watches on wordlessly, the both of you devouring the warm sensation of skin against skin. His fingers feel the outlines of your ribs, your supple flesh, until they finally reach their most-desired destination. His palms close around the rounds of your chest, thumbs brushing over your stiffened nipples.
"Eddie." You moan aloud, your eyes glued to his as he gropes you. You're getting very wet again, anxious to move things further. You roll your hips, pressing yourself down into Eddie's clothed cock harder than before. You can feel how hard he is, his jeans practically bursting at the seams.
"Fuck, sweetheart." Eddie groans at the friction. He can't wait to see how wet you are, to taste your sweetness on his lips, to put his throbbing dick inside you. His mind swirls drunkenly with the possibilities, each one more tantalizing than the last. You lower your torso, bringing yourself closer to him. You take a turn to give him some hickies of his own, quickly latching onto his throat. "Shit." He hisses at the pleasurable sting of your teeth.
"What should we do next, Eds?" You ask lowly in his ear, nibbling on the lobe afterwards.
"I'm not sure, there's so many things to choose from. What do you want?" Eddie turns the question back onto you, far too focused on how your tits feel in his hands to make a choice himself.
You put your head above his again, gazing deep into his doeish brown eyes. "I want..." You pause, lowering your hand between your bodies to palm Eddie's cock through his pants. "...to take you in my mouth, if that's alright with you." He moans breathily at your touch, and nods. "Perfect." You grin, pressing a brief kiss to his lips. You travel downwards, your mouth meeting his neck, and then his chest. Eddie breathes heavily, following you with his eyes. You leave wet kisses on his tattoo, his nipples, down the small trail of hair on his stomach that leads to his cock. You grab hold of his belt to undo it, slipping the leather through the buckle. You unzip his jeans, yanking them and his boxers down his legs. He helps you out, kicking them off once they reach his ankles. His dick smacks his stomach, rock solid and aching for you. You kneel over his body, taking his length in your hand.
"Y/N." He moans, his eyes falling closed. You stroke him nice and slow, watching a bead of precum gradually forming on his tip. You poke your tongue out to lick it off, swirling around his head. "Jesus christ." He mutters, forcing his eyes open to look at you. He locks onto your stare, just as you lower your head to take all of him at once. "Holy shit..." He gasps at your warm, wet mouth encapsulating him. You gag slightly when he hits the back of your throat, causing his hands to tightly clutch the bedding underneath him.
"You like that?" You ask lowly, pulling off of his cock for a moment.
"Fuck, don't stop." Eddie whines, making your pussy throb. "Please, keep going, Y/N." He politely begs, needing more of you.
"Sure thing, baby." You smirk, taking him in your mouth once again. You bob your head up and down, swirling your tongue around his length as you move.
"Feels so good, sweetheart." He praises, resting a hand behind his head to get a better view. You're quite a sight to see. Your hair falling loosely around the sides of your face, your hands gripping his thighs for balance, your plush lips opened wide as can be to take his dick past them again and again. "Shit, you look so pretty with my cock in your mouth." He says boldly between needy moans.
"Mmm." You hum gently around him, thoroughly enjoying the lovely noises flowing from him like a steady river. You increase your speed just a little, adding more suction to really drive Eddie wild.
"Oh my god." He gasps, unable to believe the level of skill you possess. Your mouth feels absolutely incredible, and it's not going to take long to make him lose control. You feel his hand come down to rest on the back of your head, adding the slightest amount of pressure to keep you deep on his cock. "This alright, baby?" He asks, hoping you'll allow him some semblance of control here. You're melting his goddamn mind right now, and it's taking everything in him not to thrust upwards and fuck your face until his cum spills down your throat.
"Mmhmm." You hum casually, his fingers tightening around your hair at the vibrations. He doesn't push you down too hard, just enough to maintain that wet warmth he craves. You don't mind at all, you've had your fair share of face-fuckings over the years. They can be fun, if done correctly.
You use every trick you can think of, using Eddie's utterances of your name and various swears to guide you on the path to setting off his climax. He's not exactly a tough one to crack, given his undeniable gratitude to you for doing anything with him in the first place. But it's a thrilling chase all the same, as it always has been for you.
"I'm gettin' close, sweetheart. Fuck, you're too good at this..." Eddie warns, gripping your hair and the bed below him with all his might. His stomach is preparing to tense, his balls growing tighter by the second. You take this as your cue to go even faster, bobbing your head quick as you can, your tongue twisting on his shaft with frenzied intensity. "God, Y/N...You're gonna kill me doin' that." He whimpers, his entire being threatening to burst from the immense pleasure you're providing him. He's never felt anything like this before, and it's this thought sprinting across his mind that shoves him over the edge. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum." He grunts, trying and failing to hold back an obscenely loud moan from escaping him afterwards. His muscles clench, and you can taste his release spilling stickily on your tongue.
You swallow every last drop as it's supplied to you, still sucking harshly on his dick until he's empty. Eddie's eyes fall closed once his high runs its course, his breaths coming out thick and shallow. You pull away from his softening length, sitting back on your knees. "Did you like that, Eds?" You question as you gaze over his spent form. He's slicked over in a thin sheen of sweat, eyes closed peacefully while he catches his breath.
"Yeah, that was amazing." He huffs out the words, sensing your weight shifting on the bed to lie next to him again. He opens his eyes, turning his head to look at you. He finds you smiling giddily, appearing very proud of yourself for giving him such intense pleasure. "You must really like going down on guys if it makes you smile like that." He chuckles, intrigued by you.
"Maybe I just like making people feel good, Eddie." You reply simply.
"How many have there been?" He asks, realizing afterwards that it's a bit of a rude question.
"I don't exactly know. But I've had my fair share of guys...and girls." You answer, his eyes widening.
"Girls?" He asks, even more interested now. It shouldn't exactly be so shocking to him, he's been with a guy here and there himself. A lot of high school athletes are major closet cases. He supposes he just didn't take you for the bisexual type.
"Yeah, a few. Is that a big deal to you?" You turn the questions around on him, curious what his own history is like.
"No, of course not. I've been with a few guys myself. I was just surprised by you, again." He laughs, rolling his eyes at himself.
"Oh, really? Looks like we both get around pretty well then, don't we?" You tease, unable to hold in your own laughter.
"I guess so. Although, most of my hookups are meant to be a secret. No girl, or guy, seems to want to be seen with me." He chuckles dryly, his expression falling slightly.
"Well, I'd gladly be seen with you, Eddie. You're a great guy, and all those people are idiots." You say sweetly, taking his hand in yours.
"Thanks, Y/N. That's really kind of you to say." He brightens up again, your words healing his heart a little.
"Any time, baby." You smile, pressing a small kiss to his lips. He gladly accepts it, the taste of you pulling him further out of his self-inflicted funk.
"Do you want a turn now, Y/N?" Eddie asks, his free hand playing around with the waistband of your shorts.
"I'd like that." You nod, watching his fingers easily press the metal button through its stitched hole. He glides your zipper down its track, carefully slipping his hand inside to brush over your panties. He feels a wet spot in the fabric, gasping quietly at how soaked you are for him already. He deliberately brings his fingers onto your clothed clit, rubbing it in light circles. "Eddie." You moan, keeping your eyes on his hand stuck inside your shorts.
"So wet for me already, sweetheart?" Eddie asks lowly into your ear, watching your reaction to his touch.
"Yes." You reply breathlessly. His hand leaves your sensitive bud for a moment, moving up to the top of your panties. He ventures beneath the fabric, fully feeling your slick folds. "Fuck." You whimper, your hips bucking once at him touching your throbbing entrance.
"What do you want, baby? I'll give you anything you ask for." He offers seductively, spreading your arousal all around while drinking in your sexy noises.
"I want you to go down on me, Eddie. Please." You whine, desperate to feel his mouth on your pussy.
"Mmm, I like it when you beg." He chuckles darkly, pressing a wet kiss to your throat. He slips two fingers inside your cunt, making you gasp. He lays you down on your back, knees tented with him crouching above you. His mouth travels downwards, his digits gently curling to hit your g-spot. He's going very slow, warming you up before he eats you out. Clearly he's done this before, and knows his way around. Shy, my ass, you think to yourself as his lips leave open-mouthed kisses on your chest. He makes a little detour to take one of your nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the pebbled flesh before biting down roughly.
"Fuck, Eds..." You moan, your hands slipping into his thick curls. He moves on to your other breast, nipping every inch of it before going after the stiff center. He doesn't stay in one place for long, venturing further down your body to make a trail along the middle of your stomach. Your hands stay weaved inside his hair the whole way, tugging lightly with every teasing pump of his fingers inside your pussy. He eventually reaches your jeans, regrettably having to stop touching you so he can remove them. You whine at the loss, but you know the pleasure will continue shortly.
Eddie grabs hold of the top of your shorts, pulling them down your legs to discard them. He takes off your panties the same way, spreading your legs open wide so he can see every last bit of you. Your pussy glistens with sweet juices in the dim light of his room, and he can't resist licking his lips at the sight. "You're beautiful, sweetheart." He praises, his arms snaking around your legs. He leans down to kiss the innermost part of your thigh, drawing more helpless sounds from your lips. You anxiously await him touching you where you need him most, watching his every move with pleading eyes. He meets the other side, still neglecting your very center.
"Eddie, please stop teasing." You beg in frustration, bucking your hips up to gain his attention. You need him now. You can't wait any longer.
"You're so needy, Y/N." He teases with a grin, bringing his tongue forward to lick a long stripe from your entrance to your clit.
"Fuck!" You cry out in surprise, your back arching off the bed. Eddie presses you back down with his hand, keeping a firm hold on your stomach so you'll stay still. He slowly flicks his tongue up and down on your clit, making you wetter by the second. He swirls around, dips in and out of the area in varying patterns. He's keeping you guessing, building you up at an agonizing pace. "Shit, you feel so good." You exhale, refusing to let go of his head for fear of him stopping for a single second. You can feel your pleasure growing, balling up inside the very center of you.
"You taste so sweet, baby. And you're fuckin' soaked for me." He says in admiration. He can't get enough of your decadent, musky flavor on his tongue. He's already getting hard again, and he cannot wait to feel you cum on his face, and around his cock when the time is right. He darts his tongue in and out of your soaked hole. Warm trickles of arousal and many, many moans spill from you as he does so. His impeccable technique drives you closer and closer to the edge.
"Just like that, Eds...keep going..." You struggle to piece the words together. Every lick and nip and suck of his mouth working against you steals your train of thought, just when you manage to set it back on the tracks again. You can sense your high building, your insides tensing and squeezing as the need to release the pent up tension grows more dire by the second. Just when you think this can't possibly feel any more amazing, Eddie replaces his tongue with two thick fingers. They worm their way deep inside your dripping pussy, the metal rings they're dressed in shocking your body with their coldness. He fingers you fast and hard, wet sounds mingling with your moans. "Fuck, baby. Don't stop!" You plead, thighs quivering as your end draws near.
"You gonna cum for me, sweetheart?" Eddie asks, lazily dragging the very tip of his tongue around your clit while his hand works overtime.
"Yes, please make me cum." You whimper, gripping his head even harder. It's a wonderfully odd combination, the battling movements of his quick fingers and slow licking. It's driving you positively insane. Any second now, you're going to lose it altogether. "I'm so close, Eddie. Fuck, right there." You persist, relentlessly calling out to him to help you reach your bliss as if your life depends on it. It's like you're caught in the middle of a fever dream. Sweat gathers on every last inch of your flesh, pooling in all the nooks and crevices, and dripping from the back of your knees.
"Cum for me, Y/N." He politely commands, sucking your clit harshly between his lips to seal your fate.
"Eddie! Oh, fuck!" You cry out as the buildup finally pays off, the pressure releasing itself throughout your entire body. Your thighs quake, threatening to clamp around Eddie's head. Your cunt pulses, simultaneously trapping his fingers and releasing a mess of juices onto his face. Eddie slurps against your folds, trying his best to savor every last drop of you. He moans at the taste, his cock twitching as the liquid flows down his throat and into his stomach. Your body relaxes once your orgasm fades away, hands releasing Eddie's hair from your grasp. He sits up to look at you, finding you looking absolutely blissed out. You're glistening in perspiration, eyes fallen closed and chest rising and falling with effort.
"Gorgeous." He observes simply, mostly to himself. He crawls over to lie down beside you once more, reaching over for his pack of Camels on the night table. "Want a smoke?" He offers, your eyes fluttering open to look at him.
"Yes, please." You smile, watching as he takes two cigarettes from the pack and places them between his lips. He lights them both, handing one off to you. He takes the ashtray from the table, setting it between you on the bed. You take a long, deep drag, humming blissfully at the smoke filling your lungs.
"Did you enjoy that, sweetheart?" Eddie asks, blowing a large cloud of smoke from his lips as he speaks.
"Yes, very much. Who taught you to eat pussy like that?" You question curiously.
"No one. Practice makes perfect, Y/N." Eddie replies with a chuckle. He's very glad that you enjoyed yourself, it was certainly fun for him to hear you crying out his name.
"More than perfect, Eds." You add, bringing yourself closer to snuggle up to him. He puts his arm around you, and you lay your head against him.
"You oughtta be careful with all the compliments. I might just get an ego." He says jokingly.
"I don't care." You turn your head to kiss his body, continuing to praise him. "You've earned one after that." You kiss his neck this time, nipping his skin a little. You can't help yourself, Eddie's made you feel so good. You want him to keep doing it, and to do the same for him.
"You just can't get enough of me, can you?" He asks teasingly, egging you on.
"No, I really can't." You reply, biting down harder on his throat.
"Fuck, sweetheart." He moans, taking another drag of his smoke to keep himself relaxed while you make a meal out of him.
"Sorry." You pull away after sucking another dark hickey on Eddie's skin, resuming your smoking. You recognize that you're going a little too fast again, forcing yourself to slow down.
"It's alright. I like it when you do that." He reassures you, gently stroking your arm.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. You make me feel—" Eddie cuts himself off, wondering if he'll sound too corny.
"What?" You press him to finish his sentence. You have to know how your words and actions affect him.
"You make me feel wanted." He says, giving you a meaningful look. "Like I said, most people treat me like a secret, or something forbidden. They'll fuck me all they like behind closed doors, but they won't give me the time of day when there's others around. But you make me feel like I deserve more." He adds, his words full of passion and conviction. Eddie's never been one to mince words, he says what he means every time he opens his mouth. "Shit, I sound totally lame right now." He sighs before taking another drag, worried he's ruined the mood again.
"It's not lame at all, Eddie. You do deserve better. You deserve to be with someone who likes you for you, someone who won't hide you away." You speak gently, cupping his cheek in your hand. You wait for him to exhale his smoke, bringing your lips to his to give him a tender kiss once it flows out of his nostrils. He melts into you, humming lightly into the kiss. You both stub out your smokes, finding each other's mouths far more interesting. Eddie bites your bottom lip, coaxing your mouth open to slip his tongue inside.
"You won't hide me away too, will you?" Eddie asks between hungry kisses, needing to know this won't be another secret fling. He can't put himself through that again, no matter how much he likes you.
"No, Eds. I won't. I promise." You answer, hoping your honesty rings true for him. You're unsure how many others there have been that made the same promise and broken it, along with Eddie's heart.
"Okay. Lemme find those keys real quick." He says, satisfied with your words. He gets off the bed, searching around his room to find the keys to the handcuffs. You've given him what he's wanted for so long, the least he can do is appease your every desire. He checks his dresser first, the top of it as well as the unorganized drawers. Nothing. He looks in a few random boxes of junk he keeps stashed around, typically for weed. Nothing here, either. He's growing a bit desperate now, checking the final place he thinks those damned tin keys could be. The night table drawer. He slides it open, shuffling the boxes of matches and random papers around inside. He hears metal tinkling somewhere in there, and he can't imagine it's anything other than the thing he's in search of. He finds them nestled under a crumpled receipt, bringing them out into the light with a satisfied look on his face. "Gotcha." He gets off the floor and retrieves the cuffs from the wall. He brings them over to the bed. "How do you wanna do this?" He asks, unsure how to proceed.
"Well, that depends. What position do you want me in?" You say with total self-assurance. Eddie doesn't say anything else, a rather awkward expression taking over his features. "It's okay, I'll give you some options. I can ride you, you can take me from behind, or we can do it the normal way."
"What would you prefer, Y/N?" He can't help asking for your input. You're the one getting handcuffed, after all. You ought to have some say on the subject.
"I'd really like to ride you, Eddie." You reply, giving him a seductive look. "Here, get behind me to put the cuffs on." You instruct, scooting forward and sitting on your knees to give him some room. He does as you ask, putting himself behind you. You place your hands behind your back, allowing Eddie to put the cuffs on. "Now make sure they're tight, but not too tight." He clicks each cuff in place on your wrists, careful of your reaction to see if he's done this correctly. "Very good. Now, sit up against the headboard and keep your legs together."
"Okay." Eddie says, scooting backwards to get into your desired position. He lays his legs straight forward, keeping them as close together as he can. You sit up on your knees to make room, and carefully inch yourself backwards until you can sit back down in his lap. His cock rests against your ass, warm and stiff, ready to get things moving.
"Wanna help me out a little, baby?" You ask, turning your head back to look at him.
"Sure." He replies, getting more excited by the second. He reaches a hand around your front, slipping between your legs to rub your slit.
"Fuck, Eddie. I want you so bad." You moan, eager to have him fill you up with his thick cock.
"I want you too, Y/N." He says softly, bringing your back to rest on his chest and lowering his head to kiss your neck. He continues to tease you, getting you ready for him. His free hand reaches over to the night table, pulling out a condom from the small box he'd left out. He rips the wrapper open with his teeth, wasting no time in rolling the latex over his length. "Get up for a sec, baby." He says, pulling his fingers away from your pussy. You get up on your knees again, letting him lead. He takes hold of himself, while also guiding you towards his tip. You feel him slip through your folds once, twice, three times. He can't resist teasing you a little more before getting down to business.
"Oh, fuck." You let out little moans for him at the contact, dying to take him inside you.
"Ready, sweetheart?" He asks lowly in your ear.
"Yes." You almost whisper. He keeps his dick steady, and gently presses on your shoulder to guide you downwards. "Eddie, f-uck..." You whine as you feel him slowly stretch you out. He's so big, filling every part of you so completely.
"That's it, baby. Fuck, you're tight." Eddie pants, leading you nice and steady until you're fully seated on him. Your walls contract involuntarily once he's all the way in, squeezing his length. "Shit." He hisses. You both sit still for a moment, allowing you to get comfortable with his size. His hands caress your sides, fingers brushing over your thighs, hips, and stomach. His warmth makes you feel safe, secure. "Doin' alright, Y/N?" He asks, wondering if you're okay to start moving yet.
"Yeah." You breathe, taking the hint to slowly lift yourself up, before sinking back down again.
"Fuck." You both moan at the same time, savoring the friction formed between your interlocked parts.
"You're so big, Eds." You breathe, picking a careful pace to start bouncing on him. His tip slides across your g-spot on its way to kiss your cervix every time you land on him, ripping borderline pornographic noises from your lungs in the process.
"Thanks, sweetheart." He chuckles at your compliment, his hands resting on your hips as you move on him. He's never had anyone ride him like this before, but he really likes it. He has such a pretty view in this position. From the recoil of your ass and thighs as you bounce, to your soaked pussy lubing him up every time he disappears inside you. Fuck, it's gonna be a challenge not to cum too early with this perfect display before his eyes. "You're taking me so well, baby. Such a good little slut, aren't you?" He says darkly, taking you by surprise at his choice of words. You pause for a moment, turning to look back at him with a questioning gaze. "Oh, shit. Was that too much?" Eddie asks, kicking himself for pulling out that word without checking with you first.
"No." You grin, letting him relax. "I really like it." You burn.
"Oh, okay. Good." He chuckles awkwardly. You face forward again, resuming your riding at a slightly faster pace now. He groans, squeezing your hips a little tighter.
"Say it again." You beg, your walls flexing at the sound Eddie's just made.  He's so fucking hot when he does that, like he's not afraid to let you know how good you're making him feel. You speed up a bit more, ramping up your excitement.
"That's it, ride my cock like a good little slut. Do I feel good inside this tight pussy of yours?" He speaks lowly, the same mischievous tone he had when he went down on you.
"Yes! I'm so wet for you, Eddie." You whimper, eating up every last filthy word he says. Eddie reaches down to grip the small linked chain between the handcuffs, yanking on the metal to keep you close, making you work harder to ride him. "Fuck." You hiss at the bite of the cuffs digging into your flesh. But it only adds to the overall pleasure you're experiencing, and you love how forceful Eddie's choosing to be with you.
"Keep goin', baby. Gotta work for it if you wanna cum." Eddie taunts. You do as he commands, keeping up your rapid pace despite the added resistance. Your thighs are getting the workout of a lifetime, your muscles beginning to burn. "God, you're tryin' so hard for me. Such a good girl." He growls in your ear, making you moan even louder. You're getting very close now, quicker than you expected to. But the way Eddie's cock reaches every magic spot inside you, the way his words amplify every ounce of sensation, it's enough to make you catch fire from the inside out.
"I'm getting close, Eds." You warn, continuing to move yourself up and down on his length. He pulls even harder on the cuffs in response, making it more difficult to fully extend your thighs. "Fuck." You mutter, persisting in your pursuit of ecstasy.
"So soon, Y/N? I thought we were just gettin' started." He teases, thrusting his hips up once to meet your landing on him. You cry out at the sensation, his cock somehow hitting even deeper inside you than it was through your own efforts. "You like that? Should I do it again?"
"Yes! Fuck, it feels so good! You're gonna make me cum, baby." You whimper, and he gladly obliges. His lap ruts upwards to meet you in the middle over and over, making you cry out louder every time. You're right on the edge now, the two of you pounding yourselves into a pulp to earn your orgasms.
"Good girl. Ride that dick like you own it, sweetheart." Eddie pants as he continues to thrust himself into you. He can feel your walls fluttering around him, though he's not quite there yet. But that's more than fine by him. He'll make you scream his name, and then keep on going until he's moaning yours.
"Oh, god...fuck. I'm gonna cum—" You whine mindlessly as your bliss finally takes over. "—EDDIE!" You scream his name, trying your best to keep moving as your walls pulsate and thighs tremble. White hot heat roars from your core to your extremities, blinding you with the flames.
"There ya go, baby. Ride it out, I'm not done with you yet." Eddie coos, keeping up his thrusts to help you work through your high. He's getting rather close himself, especially with your insides squeezing him so goddamn tight. But he knows you've got one more in you, and he damn well intends to make sure you have it. He lifts your body up to put you on your knees as the aftershocks roll over you, positioning himself behind you while still gripping the chain behind your back. "Is this okay?" He asks, his dick stilled inside you while he waits for permission.
"God, yes. Just keep going. I wanna make you cum." You beg, allowing him to use you to get himself off.
"You got it, baby." His free arm goes around your stomach, giving him more leverage before he starts thrusting. He slowly pulls out of your sensitive hole, before shoving back in with all his strength. His hips make a loud smacking sound against your ass, and your lungs painfully release a loud cry of pleasure. He pulls back again, snapping his hips to set a punishing pace.
"Fuck!" You gasp, wishing you had something to hang on to. Eddie's doing a great job holding you in place so you don't fall over, but you still feel completely out of control in this situation. He thrusts into you mercilessly, rapidly building you up for another orgasm. He grunts and pants behind you, sounding like a wild animal. His hot breath comes out forcefully enough to brush against your back as he fucks you. Your wrists are getting sore from him gripping the links so hard, but you know you're both almost finished.
"You like the way I pound this pussy, baby?" Eddie grunts, a bead of sweat rolling down his face as he slams himself into your cunt again and again.
"Yes! Don't stop!" You exclaim, tears gathering in your eyes. You're completely overwhelmed with sensation. The sting of the cuffs, the smacking of skin against skin, his cock filling you up just right. It's all so fucking perfect.
"Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm almost there." He pants, his stomach tightening as his high approaches. He can feel your walls fluttering around him again, letting him know you're right there with him. "You gonna cum with me, Y/N? Like a good little slut?" He asks, moaning through his words.
"Yes...fuck me harder, Eddie." You plead, unable to stop moaning, so loud that you're worried the whole trailer park can hear you.
"Anything for you, baby." He chuckles at your neediness, you really are something else. He really puts his back into it, ramming himself as deep and hard into your pussy as he possibly can. He struggles to keep a grip on the cuffs, and his balance holding you both up on your knees. But he carries on regardless, needing to reach the finish line if it's the last thing he does. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum—" He's groans loudly as his high takes hold, his hips bucking into you wildly as he fills the condom.
"Eddie!" You cry out, falling over the edge alongside him. This time is even stronger than the last, more tears rolling down your cheeks from overstimulation. Your insides clamp down on him, and a spurt of your juices spills out onto your thighs as well as his. Eddie keeps thrusting, the two of you moaning and cursing until your orgasms fade away.
"Jesus christ." He slowly comes to a stop, and pulls out of you. He gently guides you to lie down on the bed, noting how much your body is still trembling. "Are you alright, baby?" He asks softly, leaning over to find your exhausted face. Your eyes are closed, as they have been for a good while, squeezed shut from the overpowering ecstasy you were experiencing.
"Yeah, I'm good. Just...wow." You reply somewhat lazily, opening your eyes to return to your body.
"Do you need anything, Y/N?" He asks, growing concerned. He's worried he fucked you too hard, even though you did indeed ask for it.
"Water would be great." You answer, attempting to roll over onto your back. You realize your hands are still bound behind you, however, so you stop. "You mind letting me out of these, Eds?" You request, lifting your wrists upwards. You hiss in pain, knowing you're gonna find bruises once he takes them off.
"Oh, yeah. Sorry." Eddie goes for the keys, quickly shoving one in the holes of the cuffs to let you out. He sees the dark purple marks left behind on your skin, tutting at the pain you must be feeling. "Did I hurt you, sweetheart? I'm sorry." He says apologetically, helping you sit upright.
"It's alright, Eds. I don't mind a bit of pain." You say casually, playing it off. It's not his fault, you didn't tell him to stop. If it wasn't fun for you, you wouldn't have let him keep doing it.
"Are you sure, Y/N? Those bruises are pretty dark. And they'll only be worse tomorrow." He speaks sadly, guilt lacing his voice. He sits beside you for a moment, cradling your wrists in each of his hands.
"Eddie, it's okay. I promise." You insist, turning his chin with your finger to get him to look at you. "You didn't do anything wrong, baby. There's nothing to feel bad about." You do your best to reassure him. "Okay?"
"Okay." He nods, carefully putting your hands in your lap before standing up. "I'll get you that water." He gives you a small smile, leaving the room to get your drink. You patiently wait for him, hearing various noises coming from the kitchen. A cupboard opening and closing, the faucet turning on and off. But he doesn't come back after that. Instead, you hear the freezer door open, and the unmistakable sound of ice cubes being cracked out of the tray and poured into zip lock bags. His footsteps gradually return to you, the glass of water and bags of ice in hand.
"You're too sweet, Eddie." You giggle at his thoughtfulness, his desire to take care of you.
"Here. Have the water first, then we can ice your hands." He says, giving you the glass. You take hold of it, ignoring the soreness of the tissue connecting your hand to your arm. You down the glass quickly, giving it back with a shaky grip. "Lay down, sweetheart." He kindly instructs, and you do as he asks. He gets in bed with you, giving you some space so your hands can rest at your sides. He gently lays the bags of ice down onto them, shocking your senses. But after the initial pang of cold, you start to feel relief radiating through your sore flesh. "Better?" Eddie asks after you let out a quiet sigh.
"Yes. Thank you, Eddie." You reply sweetly, leaning over to give him a quick peck.
"It's the least I can do." He gently strokes your arm with the back of his hand, gazing at you in the aftermath of what you've done together tonight. "Did you have fun? You know, besides the bruises?"
"I had a great time, Eddie. What about you?" You ask, laying your head on his shoulder.
"Are you kidding? You were amazing, Y/N." Eddie replies, still completely awestruck.
"Thank you, baby. The feeling is mutual." You say blissfully.
...after my wrists had been iced for a while, Eddie and I cuddled up together under the blanket. We exchanged a few more kisses, resisting the undeniable urge to grope each other beneath the covers. I fell asleep with his arms around me, keeping me close to his chest. I haven't slept that well in a very long time. But being in this humble room, and sharing this warm bed with Eddie was exactly what I've been needing. I'd better go for now, he's just brought in breakfast, wearing nothing but some black boxer briefs. I can feel a round two coming on.
June 25th, 1984
Dear diary,
Eddie and I have decided to make our little night of fun into a regular thing. It's just casual, and not exclusive. I don't exactly have time for a full-on relationship right now, and Eddie's uncle is really on his ass to buckle down and pass senior year once fall rolls around. We'll hang out when we have time, take-out dinners, smoke sessions in his van, as well as all the dirty things we enjoy doing together. But there's no expectations, we'll just enjoy each other's company until the summer is over.
It does kind of suck that this arrangement comes with a built-in expiration date. But it's really for the best. I won't hide him away, just like I promised. I'm sure we'll go on plenty of 'dates', and kiss or hold hands in public. I'm definitely looking forward to every opportunity I'll get to see Eddie. He's a really great guy. If he didn't have to repeat senior year, and I wasn't so damn busy with the store, I'd be fully prepared to commit to a real relationship with him. But life isn't exactly working in our favor, it never seems to in regards to my love life. All we can do is make the most of it, and hope neither of us get in too deep in the process.
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lovesanmotion ¡ 4 years ago
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HELLO! First I wanted to say I really love your writing 💘 and Then I wanted to request a Dom!Hongjoong x sub!reader where there's a big party for idols and they can bring their dates, but there's another idol trying to get close to the reader which makes joong jealous and angry :O I'm sorry if its too much.. idk how to explain TT
Be My Lover - Kim Hongjoong
💌 This is: Requested
taglist: @yunhobabygurl @atiny-chocolate-chip @minhyukmyluv @yunhoandonly
You never thought you'd be surrounded by highly influential and powerful people around you in a dimly lit room.
The bass of music blared all over the floors, idols talking and laughing with other idols, sipping cocktails being served by black and white tie waiters. Everyone in this room has either: won a bonsang, daesang, album of the year, song of the year or any award in no particular.
Earlier, the year end awards were held and your boyfriend Kim Hongjoong, along with his group, ATEEZ, attended the said event and bagged two awards. Before anyone else could go home, an after party was held at the top floor of a luxurious hotel right next to the location of the awards event.
But Hongjoong taught you very well that some awards didn't arrived into the hands of the right owners.
"Y/N!" San was surprised to see you as he entered the hall, wrapping his arms around you for a friendly hug.
"Y/N!!!" Wooyoung almost screamed, running towards you as he spooted you, immediately engulfing you into a tight hug.
The boys were like your brothers and you were thankful to have meet them. Thankful that they keep Hongjoong afloat and on the ground.
"You look pretty in your dress, noona!" Jongho compliments with a smile.
"Hello, baby" Hongjoong says, greeting you as he walks closer to you, placing a kiss on your cheek while placing a hand on your lower back. "Is there anything I can get you?" He asks.
"A drink would be nice" You said, smiling shyly at how handsome he looks tonight with his hair slicked back. Sometimes you wonder if his scalp is hurting from coloring his hair too much or did he just kept it all inside.
"Got it. I'll be right back!" With a huge smile on his lips, he leans to place a kiss on your cheek before heading to the mobile bar. The other boys have already gone and were either helping themselves at the dessert booth or dancing at the dance floor - leaving you alone at the group's booth.
"What's a pretty girl like you doing here all alone on a night like this?"
You lifted your head up and found Cravity's Minhee standing in front of you. You smiled at him then shook your head. "I'm not alone. My boyfriend just went to get us drinks."
Minhee's eyes then darted at the name of the current group this table's reserved for. His lips formed a shape before he tried to get closer to you. "Your boyfriend isn't here though. Is he the small guy? The one named Hongjoong?"
Gulping, you never liked talking about your boyfriend's insecurity. But what Hongjoong lacks, he always makes it up for in different ways. "You know, you should be with someone more taller. In that way, they could protect you better." Minhee smiles and points to himself. "Don't I fit the picture?"
You didn't bothered answering his question. Furthermore, your palms started to sweat and wondered what's taking Hongjoong so long. It was until, Minhee grabbed your forearm. "Come with me and I'll treat you really good."
You tried hard to force and yank your arm away from his grip, but it was no use - Minhee was stronger.
"If a lady says no, it means no. That's not an invitation for you to force her." Hongjoong calmly spoke as he reached you two. He set the two glasses of strawberry daiquiri's before punching Minhee square in the jaw, falling down on the ground.
Hongjoong didn't stop there, he squat down and grabbed his collar, repeatedly punching him in the face that blood started to trickle down his nostrils. All the idols stopped and slowly backed away from the two of them, their respective group members trying to pull them apart.
"Hey, you dropped something." Hongjoong says as Mingi and Yunho took his arms and restrained him from going after Minhee. Before Minhee could ask what was something he dropped, Hongjoong took the opportunity to extend his leg out to kick his chin.
"You dropped your manners." He says, panting heavily before yanking out his body. "And that's for Y/N" with that Hongjoong took your hand and led you out of the hall.
"Ouch!"
"Maybe if you didn't punched him you wouldn't be crying like this" You joked.
You and Hongjoong returned back to the hotel room and minutes later, the manager came striding in and gave Hongjoong an earful how bad this would look on the group and the company. But when Hongjoong started to explain what really happened that moment, the manager looked at him dumbfoundedly and wished his hand a speedy recovery.
"I could have bruised him up some more if only the boys didn't pulled me up" He frowned, looking away. Lifting your head up, you found it cute how his lips would form the smallest pout. And matching it with staring off somewhere? It was an adorable small trait of his.
"You look cute" You say
"I'm not cute!" Hongjoong scoffs, blushing at your comment to which it didn't go unnoticed by you. Chuckling at his cute antics.
"You're cuter than me." Hongjoong says, huffing as he looks at you after you've treated his hand.
"Come be cute with me in bed?" You asked, voice laced with lust as you laid down in the soft sheets. Taking the invitation, Hongjoong stood up from his seat, thankful to have someone like you in his life.
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talkfastromance4 ¡ 5 years ago
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Ride-- c.h blurb
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Based off of this ask I saw on lauren’s blog, I hope it’s all right I ran with this idea! Also
Word count: 1,582
Warnings: smut, sensual dom, praise kink
ALSO, ride by somo inspired this but i also listened to earned it by the weeknd :)
Masterlist
• • • •
Calum has been in a rut lately. He’s been on edge and short tempered because of alternating tour dates and trying to reschedule things and he’s also been trying to write some new songs but nothing has been flowing. You’d tried everything to help ease his frustration but he always shuts you out by closing the door himself. 
Luke had invited you both over for a small party in honor of the album doing really well among the fans despite the issue with the Billboard charts. He was pressed on not going but you convinced him that being around the boys would be good for him. He’d agreed grimly and you kissed his cheek happily. 
On the night of the party you were very excited because you’ve been wanting to wear this new dress you bought. It’s black and form fitting with large roses printed all over and a sexy little peephole in the front that accentuated your breasts perfectly. 
Calum had just finished putting his leather jacket on as you came down the stairs tossing your hair over your shoulders as you did so. You saw the way his throat worked as his dark eyes scanned over your body, hovering over your cleavage. 
“Let’s go,” you smile airily and saunter past him to the garage. 
On the drive to Luke and Sierra’s Calum keeps glancing at you as you fix your dress. You love it but now that you’re sitting down, the peephole kind of pinches a little too tightly on your breasts and you’re trying to adjust the fabric so it doesn’t do that. That action inadvertently gets noticed by Calum who curses under his breath, fingers tapping on the wheel.
He puts the car in park so fast it makes you jerk forward in your seat, the belt strap tightens on your chest even more and you let out a little yelp. 
“Calum! What the--”
“Get in the backseat,” he tells you, voice gruff as he’s already opening his door. You watch him through the window and when he opens the back passenger door as he slides in. “Now.”
You scramble to unlatch your belt and scurry into the backseat as fast as you can. It’s rare when Calum uses that tone with you, but when he does you know it’s urgent. He needs you right then and there and it fills  you with excitement each time. 
“C’mere, on my lap,” he pats his thighs and you are more than happy to climb on them. Straddling him causes your dress to ride up a little over the swell of your ass and Calum yanks the fabric up and groans audibly when he sees you aren’t wearing any panties. “You want to kill me tonight, hm?”
His fingers scrape up and down the sides of your thighs then to your ass before he squeezes, the action causes you to thrust forward onto him. Your core rubs against the button of his jeans and you can’t help but moan at the slight pressure. 
“Why aren’t you wearing anything? Hm, pretty girl?” His tone is patronizing but you love it. 
“You’d see the outline,” you say quietly. 
His eyebrows rise in amusement and he kneads the flesh of your ass in his large hands, you’re pushed forward on him again and you whimper. 
“I love this dress on you, cupcake,” he sighs, eyes glazing over your breasts that are situated right in front of his face. “Look fuckin’ incredible. . .”  
He leans forward pressing his lips right in the center of your cleavage, his breath is hot on your skin and his tongue is wet as he licks a stripe between your breasts. You arch closer to him, loving his mouth on you but craving it somewhere else. 
“Cal, please,” you whine, squeezing his shoulders as he does another lick. 
“You won’t be getting my tongue right now,” he hums, lips traveling up your throat. You tilt your head back so he has clear access to your neck. “Want you to ride me. . . can you do that for me?”
“Mhmm,” you squeak. 
“Gotta suck me off first,” he continues to mumble on your skin, placing a few kisses here and there between his words. “So you can just slide right down.”
“Fuck,” you whimper again and he pushes you onto the floor gently so he can undo his pants. You help him by pulling them down past his knees a little and before you can lean forward he takes you by the jaw and gives you a deep kiss, tongue rolling over yours deliciously. 
He pulls away and you waste no time lowering your puckered mouth over his head then swirling your tongue as you go down on him. You take him as far as you can, letting your spit dribble down his shaft before sucking it back up with your mouth so he’s covered. The more slick he gets the easier it is for you to bob your head up and down and the sounds he’s making? Heavenly and sinful all at once. 
When you feel his thighs clench, that's when he lifts you back onto his lap and you groan at the feeling of his cock against your thigh.
“You’re so good at that baby,” he sighs, giving you a kiss. “Ready for me?” 
All you can do is nod as you take him in your hand and guide yourself down on him. He hums watching you slide down with ease, a smirk playing at his lips when he watches your face twist in pleasure. He’s hot and filling you so deep you don’t even wait for him to tell you to begin rocking forward. 
“That’s it baby,” he encourages, hands burning through the back of your dress as he aids you forward and back. “Love watching you like this.”
The deep baritone of his voice vibrates your whole body and you rock faster, grinding yourself up and down on him harder so he can hit the right spot each time. Your clit rubs against the taut skin of his lower stomach and you’re moaning from all the sensations you’re receiving.
His hands on you, his hot breath fanning over your breasts and his cock pushing in and out of you at your control is sending you. 
“Talk to me,” you say breathlessly as you feel your orgasm approaching. 
“Fuckin’ look at you,” he praises tilting his head back so he can watch all of you. Your fingers tighten in his hair and he knows you’re close, he can feel you pulsating on his cock the faster you move. “Take me so well, baby. . . feel so good on top of me. You gonna come for me?”
“Yes, yes, yes,” you nod closing your eyes as your tummy begins to flutter. 
“Yeah, you are . . . such a good girl, come for me, come for me,” he urges you on and you do because his voice pulls it from you. 
You let out a strangled cry of pleasure as it explodes from your lower belly and shoots up in all your veins to your head. You’re filled with intense pleasure and warmth and you can faintly hear Calum praising you through the fog of your bliss. 
Your hips slow to a stop and then you knock your forehead against his. All feeling comes back to you and you can feel the ache in your thighs and Calum’s delicate kisses across your cheeks. 
“That’s my girl,” he praises and lifts you gently off of him. 
You whine at the loss of him inside you and slump into the seat next to him, completely frazzled. To your complete surprise, he kneels as best he can on the floor in front of you and presses his mouth to your sensitive core.
Your fingers fly to his hair instinctively as he works you over with his mouth with speed and vigor. You’re moaning and grinding yourself on his plump lips as he chases another orgasm out of you. Calum hums and shakes his head against your pussy until you’re coming again, body clenched from the feeling of an orgasm so soon after the first. 
When he’s satisfied, he pulls his mouth from you and you watch him grab a towel from his gym bag to clean off his lap then he wipes delicately between your own legs. He gives you another kiss to the cheek. 
“Ready to go in?” he asks letting the towel fall to the floor. 
Your eyes are wide at his question after what he just did to you in only a matter of seconds.
He gets out on his side then jogs to your side of the car opening the door and takes your hand. Your legs are still a little wobbly and you made sure your dress is covering your ass completely before heading inside. 
Your mind is still on what you just did in the car, you’re not even paying attention to the people you’re saying hello to and you stare at Calum in wonder. He’s acting like nothing even happened, signature crinkled grin on his face as he hugs people in hello. 
Later on when you both get split off to converse with different groups, you feel someone’s eyes on you and when you turn around to find the source. Calum’s staring at you. Then he lifts his fingers to his face and swipes his thumb on his lower lip and chin before sucking on it and flashes you a wink.
• • • •
Taglist: @galcalirwin​ @cashtonasff5sos​ @wokeupinjapanisabop​ @myloverboyash​  @rotten-kandy​ @tea4sykes​ @jannimoeller3​ @loveroflrh​ @iovehemmings​ @cxddlyash​ @princesslrh​ @here-for-the-uproars​ @katiaw2​ @g-l-pierce​ @fairyintheglass​ @gosh-im-short​ @banditocth​ @dezzym17 @wildflowerxcth @lukeisbaby​ @spicycal​ @mysticalhood​ @thesubtweeter​ @wastedheartcth​ @atlcalm​ @itjustkindahappenedreally​ @calumance​ @babylon-corgis​ @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt​ @lanternlover2​ @istaywithmyjonas​ @calteahood​ @sarcastically-defensive17​
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hstyleshoney ¡ 5 years ago
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fragments of what used to be - h.s
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You just want one more night with him 
Wordcount: 3.5K // angst angst and ANGST
A/N: I wrote it all in one night and I’m in pain. I don’t know what happen but I was in the mood for some sad shit and well... I wrote some sad shit. I haven’t proofread that carefully so I apologize for errors! I’m not sure if i’ll write like a part two or just keep it as it is... we’ll see! Enjoy!
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Everyone kept telling you that it would get easier. That you’d soon forget all about him and come out stronger. You were going to find someone else; someone better. They all just kept telling you that he wasn’t the one. That you simply weren’t meant to be and it would be okay. The heartache was going to fade away with time.
But whoever said time healed a broken heart was lying.
You weren't getting stronger. Nothing was getting easier or better. If anything your heart only broke a little bit more every day you woke up without him. Your sheets no longer smelled like him and your mornings just weren’t the same without him. In your dreams he was still with you but as soon as you woke up you were once again reminded of your new reality. You were alone and his side of the bed was cold and untouched.  
He wasn’t with you anymore, and yet he was still everywhere.
You couldn’t escape him no matter how hard you tried. It was impossible. His face haunted you, reminding you just how broken your heart was and how much you missed him. He was on TV doing promo every night. He was on every magazine stand when you went out to get some shopping done. His songs were on the radio when you got in your car. Adverts for his new album were everywhere.
Harry was everywhere.
And there was a time, not too long ago, when you didn’t mind seeing Harry everywhere. A time when your whole body almost exploded with pride and awe when you saw him on TV or heard his music on the radio. Harry was charming, humble and kind. He had the biggest heart out of anyone you knew. You adored him and he had your heart in his hand as soon as your first date was over. 
Somehow though along the way you lost each other; you lost him. He was gone, touring the world, while you were still home in London because you had a life of your own and couldn’t just leave everything behind. You visited him when you could and the two of you made it work at first. The distance between you only made your heart beat twice as much when you finally saw him again.
The problem was that you didn’t always make it work.
Different time zones made you miss each other’s calls and his busy schedule sometimes made it impossible for him to answer your messages. There were always new rumors and it put a strain on the relationship even if you tried to not pay attention to them. In the end it didn’t matter how many times you made things work; a small part of you were always just breaking. You and Harry were getting smaller while the world around you got bigger. You were losing each other.
You tried to ignore the crack between you. Ignore all the times you fought over the most pointless things and went to bed angry because saying ‘I’m sorry’ just wasn’t enough anymore. You told yourself it was going to get better when his tour ended and you had time to work on your relationship. You loved him too much to let him go. You were going to fight for him and your love.
Except, he let you go before you had the chance.
“I think we should break up.”
It was the sentence you heard over and over again anytime you saw a picture of him or heard his name. The sentence that made you go numb. It made you sick knowing he didn’t want to fight for you like you wanted to fight for him. You were losing him and you couldn’t do anything about it. You were completely powerless as you watched him leave. Every single part of your body was screaming at you to run after him. To stop him. But there was nothing you could really say or do to make him stay or to make it hurt less.
Harry was gone.  
He left you four months ago and your heavy heart was slowly killing you. It was impossible to pretend that you were doing fine. It was pathetic really; after all that time you still weren't over him. All your friends tried to get you to go out with them and keep you occupied, but at the end of the day when they all went home to their own partners you went home to your empty flat and cold bed, and there were no new notifications on your phone. You were alone.
You tried to go on a date, to feel less lonely, but you couldn’t stop comparing everything the guy said or did to Harry. You also tried to have a one night stand but instead of getting that euphoric feeling your whole body just went cold whenever the unfamiliar man kissed you. It all just left you feeling lonelier than you had before.
You had lost your best friend. The person you went to for everything. The person who usually made you feel better was now the reason you were aching. It didn’t feel real, or maybe you just didn’t want it to be real. He had told you he still wanted you to be friends, that he didn’t want to lose you, which at the time you didn’t oppose because at least you’d still have a little bit of his heart if he was your friend.
But as time passed you weren't so sure you could only have him as your friend; to not be allowed to kiss his pink lips whenever you wanted or to never feel his skin slick against yours again as he fucked you into the mattress.
Friends. It wasn’t what you wanted from him. It wasn’t enough to fill the void inside of you. The word made you sick. 
And the worst part? Harry was seemingly doing just fine. At least judging by what you heard from your common friends who still saw him and from everything you found on social media.
Because even though it pained you to be reminded of him every day you couldn’t stop yourself from going online and reading all the latest updates about him and the new album. You were only tormenting yourself more by doing so but you needed to know what he was doing. Needed to know how he was doing.
You’d probably die if someone ever found out about your late night habit of stalking him online. It was something you knew you needed to stop doing, it wasn’t healthy and it certainly wasn’t helping you move on. You just weren't ready yet; not ready to lose that small, tiny, insight into his life that made you feel like you were still a part of it.
You also stared at his number in your phone at least once a day, and tried to not think about how he no longer had a red little heart after his name in your contacts, as you fought back the urge to call and text him. You knew it’d only make things worse if you did. It’d make you more desperate than you already were. Talking to him wouldn’t even be the same. It was better to just let it be. He had left you and you had to accept it.
But a part of you still couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if you reached out. Maybe everything could be alright again if you talked to him, if he just came over and stayed with you one more night.
If he just gave you one more night then maybe you could be alright.
Just one more night.
You ended up getting one more night with him, and the truth slapped you hard in the face.
It was a close friend’s 30th birthday party, a close friend to both you and Harry, and you knew he was going to be there as well. To say you were a nervous wreck that whole week leading up to the party was an understatement. You were after 136 days, 3264 hours, 19 weeks and a lot of tears going to be in the same room as Harry again.
You hadn’t seen him since the break up and maybe you were just naive but a tiny part of you thought, even after all that time apart, that you could convince him to come back. Convince him to have one more night with you.
But the harsh truth was that you had been more than naive to think you could have one more night with Harry.
Because he wasn’t alone when he showed up to the birthday celebrations and it literally knocked the air out of you. Harry had an arm around a tall blonde woman, his hand resting low on her back, and everything became blurry as you saw them. Your friends were saying something around you, asking if you were alright, but your ears were ringing too much to be able to hear anything other than your own beating heart. You wanted to rip it out of your chest to stop it from hurting so much.
Still, you couldn’t take your eyes off him, nor the woman next to him. You knew very well who the stunning blonde was, you were already following the famous model on instagram, and it was truly a slap in the face just how perfect she looked standing next to him. Better than you ever did.
And even though everything was blurry and you had to blink away the tears that were threatening to fall, Harry was still so very clear to you; he stood out from the rest of the guests. Like he always did. His hair was a little longer than the last time you saw him. His beard a little bit scruffier. His skin tanned and glowing almost. He was, as always, breathtaking.
You wanted to go over and wrap your arms around him, nuzzle your nose into his neck and absorb his familiar scent and never let go, but you couldn’t. He wasn’t yours anymore.
Then Harry leaned over to whisper something to the girl next to him and kissed her softly on the cheek with a fond smile on his lips. The same smile he used to give you right before he told you he loved you and kissed you.
Everything inside you was hurting as you watched him and the girl and you needed to sit down somewhere soon before your legs gave up. You were closer to him than you had been in months and he had no idea how much he was breaking you by having his arm wrapped around someone else. How it slowly, painfully, killed what was left of your heart. If only you could swap places with the stunning model before the evening was over. To feel his touch again. 
You wondered briefly if they ever did the same things you used to do with him. The thought nearly killed you. You weren't ready to come to terms with losing him, much less think about him sharing what you two once had with somebody else. You hated how vulnerable the thought of it made you. How powerless it made you feel all over again.
It was also at that moment Harry turned his head to the side and by chance locked eyes with you. The smile on his lips faltered immediately as he saw you staring right at him and the woman next to him. His arm didn’t move though. He kept it around the blonde, still holding her close to his body.
You were seconds away from passing out right there and then in front of everyone at the party. If you had struggled to breath earlier it was nothing compared to how you felt in that moment as Harry’s eyes saw right through you. The level of anxiety running through you was quickly becoming unbearable, leaving you with a lump in your throat and sharp pain in your chest.
Which was why you removed yourself from the situation and more or less ran out of the room, away from Harry’s burning stare. The glass doors that led to the patio shook as you slammed them shut behind you and you were thankful for the loud music playing inside the house so no one heard your escape. You wanted, needed, to be alone. To process what had just happened in peace.
You could feel your blood rushing inside your veins and your stomach turn over heavily, your dinner rising in the back of your throat, despite the fact that you had only had one drink so far. You felt so sick and now when you were outside, away from Harry, your shaky legs finally gave up.
You sank to the ground and hugged your knees close to your chest in an attempt to comfort yourself. It had been over four months since Harry broke up with you, but there was nothing that could've prepared you for the moment you had to see him with someone else. It felt like a part of you had just died and the whole thing was becoming too much. You had really lost him. He had someone else. It was all too real and too much at the same time.
And you couldn’t stop your head from spinning or your heart from racing.
Out of nowhere there was a gentle tap on the glass door behind you and you really shouldn’t have been surprised to see Harry standing there, looking down at you with a sad frown on his face. Of course he followed you. He made a small motion with his hand for you to move a little to the side so he could open the door without making you fall back.
“Hey,” he greeted you as soon as he stepped outside and carefully shut the door behind him, cutting you off from the party happening on the other side.
You didn’t reply. You couldn’t.
It didn’t stop Harry from sitting down next to you though. His leg brushed against yours and your mind instantly swirled with memories of the two of you cuddled up on the couch in your small flat or in various hotel beds across the globe. 
You sat in silence for a long time after that. Harry didn’t say anything after his greeting and you didn’t know what to do with yourself. If you knew him right, which you did after nearly two years together, he was waiting for you to say something or tell him to leave. But being so close to him again after so many weeks apart left you speechless. You could hardly breathe with him next to you, his presence was nearly suffocating you. It physically hurt.
How were you supposed to think of something to say and actually talk to him when you couldn’t even breathe?
You didn’t have to think of anything though.
“How are you?” Harry asked unexpectedly and caught you completely off guard.
And then you almost laughed because what a stupid fucking thing to ask.  
“What do you want H?” you snapped instead because his question also caused a sudden anger to run through you. So sudden you didn’t even realise you had accidentally called him by his nickname -- it was a force of habit. You hardly even had time to realise you had said anything at all.
Harry inhaled sharply as he recognized the aggravation behind your words and shifted uncomfortably next to you.
“I just - I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he gulped.
“Well it’s a bit too late for that,” you sneered back at him as the image of him kissing the blonde woman on the cheek just minutes ago flashed before you.
“Don’t,” Harry began and his deep voice sent shivers through you. “Please, don’t be like this. Please.”
There was something about the way he said ‘please’, twice, that made the anger in you fizzle out all at once. And you hated yourself for being so weak around him. You wanted to be mad at him. You didn’t want him to see how broken you actually were; didn’t want him to know the effect this whole thing had on you.
“What do you want me to say?” you croaked out in a voice that was barely loud enough for him to hear.
“I don’t know,” Harry admitted quietly, his voice matching yours. 
“Because I’m not okay.”
Silence took over again after that.
The tension between you was thick enough for someone to cut through and it was so different from what it used to be. Everything you once were was fading away right in front of you and there was nothing you could do about it. You just wanted it to stop. Your head was spinning with memories of the two of you together, memories from a happier time when Harry only made your heart feel full, and you were trying to hold onto your past so desperately it left you bruised.
“Letting you go was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” Harry told you and you had to bite down to choke back a sob.
“Why did you?” Your lips trembled as you spoke and you made the mistake to turn your head to the side and look at him. His face was closer to yours than you expected, so much closer, and you had to take a deep breath to steady yourself. Harry really was the prettiest man you had ever met. Your fingers ached to reach out and caress his cheek, to just feel his skin under your fingertips again.
He was so beautiful.
But it was also in that moment that you realised that you were looking at him in a way that he no longer looked at you. His eyes didn’t devour you in the same way they used to. They didn’t want you like before.
“I had to,” Harry replied with a heavy sigh and your chest was getting so tight it made you dizzy.
“Why?”
Your voice cracked and Harry instinctively raised his hand to brush away the tear that escaped and rolled down your cheek. But you were quick and flinched back before he could touch you, because you weren't sure you’d survive that. It was Harry sitting next to you but it was slowly becoming clear to you that it wasn’t the Harry you were used to. Something had changed.
The man who held your entire heart in his hands no longer wanted it.
“It wasn’t working. You know that,” Harry said softly but it still made your eyes water. “We weren’t happy in the end.”
“I was,” you mumbled and tilted your head back in an attempt to stop more tears from falling. You refused to cry more.
“No, you weren’t.”
“Do you love me?”
Silence.
.
.
.
“I do,” Harry replied and for just a split second everything didn’t feel so hopeless, but it didn’t last long because what he said next made your whole body go numb. “Just not in the way you need me to...  I’m sorry.”
You opened your mouth to say something but nothing was coming out. You were just falling. Drowning. Suffocating under the agonizing waves that pulled you deeper down. And Harry was still talking to you but you couldn’t hear any of the words coming out of his mouth. All you could think about was the fact that it was indeed over between the two of you. His words played over and over again in your head.
He said your name.
Once. Twice. Three times. Until you looked at him.
Your cheeks were wet from all the tears you no longer had any control over. 
“Can you leave now?” you asked him; begged him. You couldn’t be in around him anymore, but you didn’t trust your own legs. He had to leave before you snapped. Harry’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to say something but, just like you, he was at a loss for words. For the first time he looked as hurt as you were. It didn’t make you feel better though and you just wanted him to leave so, maybe, you could breathe again. “Please.”
Harry stared at you for a few more seconds, taking in your broken appearance, before he cleared his throat and nodded.
“Yeah, of course,” he murmured and you watched as he fumbled to his feet. Panic swept through you as his warmth left your side and a part of you wanted to tell him to stay with you, to never leave you again, but you also knew it was just going to hurt more.
You choked back another sob as he opened the door. He turned around to look at you again and you really wished he hadn’t because it was far too painful to look into his green eyes, knowing that it might be the last time. “Take care of yourself, yeah?”
Then he was gone.
Both from the patio and your life.
And as a sob finally tore from your throat you prayed that everyone else was right; that time would and could salvage what was left of her broken heart.
----
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sunflowersunshinevol6 ¡ 5 years ago
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Harry Styles x OC
Warnings: drinking
Summary: Mixtapes. We all love them. We have a different one for a different mood. A different moment in time. For Harry and Summer, they become the soundtrack of one beautiful summer in California and the definition of their relationship. Because the people you love never really leave, they're only a mixtape away.
Part One
Let me start at the beginning. I never would have met him if it wasn't for my roommate Halley.
We lived in Monte Nido, about three miles from Malibu. I had just graduated from Berkley and was looking to become a freelance photographer. Halley did the temp thing, it paid the bills and we could still have fun.
I woke up to 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' blasting from the boombox in the living room. Halley had just broken up with her boyfriend and I knew she was hurting, but I despised the song. It was overplayed in my opinion.
"Hey," she whined when I walked out of my room and over to the boombox, shutting the music off. She was in the kitchen, baggy misfits shirt hanging off her slim frame, black hair tousled and looking like she hadn't brushed it in weeks. I rolled my eyes, walking over to her and catching the plate she slid across to me. A bagel with cream cheese and a cup of coffee. The perfect morning.
"I'm tired of you moping babe. We gotta get you out of the house." She grumbled, playing with the ends of her hair.
"Maybe I should call him," she started towards the phone hung on the wall. I ran, beating her to it and slamming my hand over it. "Summer!" She said slightly annoyed.
"No. Not doing that." I grabbed her hands, tugging her back towards the kitchen. "Know what we need?"
"What?"
"A night out." I said, bumping foreheads with her. "When's the last time we went to a show together?" She shook her head, shrugging her shoulders. "Exactly. There's a new band supposed to be playing downtown at The Dome tonight. We should check it out." Halley chewed on her bottom lip for a second before nodding, giving in.
"I could use a girls night." I grinned, high fiving her.
I've always communicated best through music. There's something about a song that can just get what I'm feeling across in a way that words can't. My mom used to say I was born with music in my soul. We used to dance around the kitchen, Fleetwood Mac's Rumors on vinyl, blasting as we croaned, singing of heartbreak and hope. It was deep. It always has been.
Halley went to work, another gig at a vet's office and I grabbed my roller blades and headed outside, Walkman in my pocket, Dinosaur Jr's 'You're living all over me' blasting in my ears. I took off towards town, heading to the record store.
Big and Easy Cassettes and Vinyls had been around since the late seventies. It was my place, and my mom's. Even when she got sick I would drive her over and we would pick an album, just one new one to listen to on the way home. We'd come across a song that was too good plenty of times and would go around the block to finish it. The place was my home away from home.
The Psychadelic Furs 'Pretty in Pink' played over the speakers when I walked in. A couple people lounged around.
"Hey! Summer! What's happenin'?" Willy, the owner, waved at me from behind the register. He'd been a hippie back in the day, even lived at the Haight. He wore small circle rimmed glasses that were tinted and his afro was always a mess. He grinned at me as I made my way over to him.
"Hey man! Got anything new?" He nodded, pulling a box out from under the counter, the label on ot reading 'New Shit'. I opened it eagerly, looking through the tapes.
"How's Halley doing?" He asked.
"She could be better. We're going to a show tonight at The Dome." Willy nodded.
"Yeah? My buddy Mitch plays in the band. His girlfriend Sarah is drums."
"Really?"
"Yup. Could make a call. Get you guys backstage." I couldn't contain my grin.
"Thanks man." I grabbed a couple tapes, holding them out for him to charge me. He shook his head.
"On the house. This time."
"Thanks Willy."
"No problem. Tell Halley I said to have a good time. I'll call my buddy, let him know you're coming through."
Halley and I have always had a preshow ritual, but since she was working when I got home I started without her.
I put on my new cassette, The Cure 'Disentigration' and hummed along as I started making drinks. I was halfway through my third margarita when she came in the door.
"Hey!" She shouted. I laughed when she began dancing towards me and I handed her her drink.
"Willy knows someone in the band. He's gonna get us backstage."
"Are you kidding? That's fucking great!" Halley screeched jumping up and down. We danced around the living room drinking and singing the wrong lyrics. It's always good to hype up before you go out. Remember that.
We started getting ready around eight thirty, both of us slightly buzzed. I grabbed my favorite t shirt. An oversized Clockwork Orange shirt that was black and had the logo on the front in orange, a red plaid long sleeve and torn up Jean's with my mom's old converse. I'm not one for makeup much but I put brown eyeshadow on to make eyes look a bit sunk in, mascara and dark red lipstick. I let my black hair fall down over my shoulders and put on my favorite sunnies.
Halley was a bit more punk than I was. She wore a black mini skirt, ripped see through black mesh shirt with a black tank top over it. Her favorite dog collar around her neck and heavy eyeliner and lipstick, her favorite Doc Martens laced up her ankles, ripped stocking covering her legs.
"You look hot." I acknowledged, winking at her teasingly.
"Tell me something I don't know." She laughed.
"Show starts at ten. You wanna walk?"
"I'm up for that."
The Dome was the local bar. It was only about a mile away and we hoped the walk would sober us up as we went. We talked and laughed, excited at the prospect of hearing new music. Music had been the thing that brought us together in the first place. Our mutual love for Depeche Mode and Peter Murphy. It always seemed to me that music was the only thing that brought people into my life and kept them there.
We got there early enough to see people coming into the bar. We weren't sure if they were there for the band or for drinks. We didn't really care. We were young and looking for fun.
"I hope they're hot." Halley said as we took our seats at the bar. I laughed, rolling my eyes at her.
"The one named Mitch is taken. He's dating the drummer so you better hope you don't fall for him." She snickered at me.
"Hi ladies, what can I get you?"
"Two Jack in Coke on ice?" She looked at me and I nodded my approval. The bartender nodded, heading back to make our drinks. That's when I saw Willy's unmistakable afro making his way through the crowd and towards us.
"Hey ladies! Lovely to see ya." He kissed Halley on the cheek and then me before leaning against the bar beside us.
"Heard you can get us backstage tonight." Halley said, wiggling her eyebrows. Willy nodded.
"Sure can. Already told Mitch I was coming. Just gonna bring you girls back with me." I opened my mouth to say something else but the feedback from the stage caught my attention just as the bartender came up with my drink. I took a sip, watching as the lights dimmed and everyone's attention turned to the stage.
The band filed out. Three girls and three boys heading towards the stage. The guitarist had shaggy black hair and a full beard, dressed in bell bottoms and a baggy white tee. But it was the singer who caught my eye.
He wore beige slacks and a black button down tucked in, the first few buttons unbuttoned, a couple of tattoos poking out on his chest. His brown hair curled slightly but was slicked back and the rings on his hands glinted as he grabbed the mic stand. He was outrageously handsome.
"Oh my." Halley whispered. Oh my was right.
"Ello." My heart dropped into my stomach when he spoke, a thick english accent greeting my ears. "My mama's Harry. This is Mitch, Sarah, Ny Oh, Adam and Charlotte. We don't have a band name yet, maybe one day. But we hope you enjoy." Everyone laughed at his comment. "This song is called 'Ever Since New York.'"
I closed my eyes, breathing deeply as the song began. It was beautiful. My mom would have liked it.
"Tell me somethin'" his voice was sweet, carried along the melody that the band played. I opened my eyes, watching as he swayed to the beat of the music. Everyone was quiet, enraptured by this young man's voice.
"Wow." I heard Halley say behind me, I couldn't have agreed more. It wasn't dancey, not in the way that you could get up and shake your ass. No, it was the kind of song you listened to at home in the evening, with your lover perched on the counter while you stand between their legs, dinner cooking on the stove. It was comforting. It was....home.
When the song came to a close I was breathless, a weight placed on my chest, I couldn't take my eyes off of him.
A few songs in and he began a heavier song, one that we could dance to. He called it 'Kiwi'. Halley and I got up, dancing with Willy and laughing as he screamed into the microphone. I felt free, laughing with my friends and feeling like we were the only ones in the world.
I looked up at the stage after I flipped my hair to see him, Harry, eyes locked in on me. I held his gaze for a moment, blushing when he smiled at me before breaking eye contact. I smiled, turning back to my friends and feeling the music once more.
"Thank you all for a lovely evening." He said when the show was over. Willy gently took me and Halley by the arm.
"We can head back now guys."
The backstage area was small. Not a whole lot of room, but enough for the small indie bands that usually played. Halley and I stood to the side as Willy walked up to Mitch, shaking hands with him.
"These are my friends. This is Summer and Halley." We smiled, shaking Mitch's hand. He introduced us to the rest of the band but the singer, Harry, wasn't there.
"He's in the loo." Sarah said, a kind smile on her face. Halley started a conversation with Adam while I spoke with Sarah and Mitch. They were so sweet and kind.
"Hey, who's your friends?" I felt my stomach churn. Harry walked back in the room, a bottle of water in his hand as he eyed me and Halley.
"Friends of Willy. You've met him before." Harry shook Willy's hand before turning to me.
"I'm Harry." He held out his hand.
"Summer." I said. He smiled.
"I like that. 'S pretty." He held my hand for a moment too long, eyes locked on mine once more. Halley interrupted us.
"Hey, you guys got a place to stay?" Mitch shook his head.
"Nah. We were gonna crash in the car." I looked at Halley with wide eyes. I knew where she was going with this, she seemed so cozy with Adam already.
"No. No. You guys can stay with us. Crash on the couch or the floor. We're cool with it. Right Summer." I blinked, inside I was furious. I hated being put on the spot like that.
"Yeah." I said dryly. "Sure."
"Cool. We'll pack everything up then." Halley grinned.
"It's kinda small but there's room for everybody." Halley said as she opened the door to our apartment. I cringed inwardly. We hadn't even cleaned up, but the band didn't seem to mind. Everyone sat down in the living room while Halley and I went to grab extra blankets.
"You know I hate when you spring shit like this on me." I glared as she handed me a blanket and pillow.
"Oh shut up. Adam's cute and hey, I saw you and Harry having a moment."
"We were not...he was just greeting me." I said flustered. She rolled her eyes.
"Whatever, they're our guests. Be hospitable."
We all sat around for a while, drinking and talking. Slowly everyone began to fall asleep, Harry and I being the only ones left awake.
We talked for what felt like hours. He told me about his parents, their divorce and his mom and step dad. His sister. How he knew he wanted to be a musician from a young age and when he met Mitch it felt like a sign from the universe. I listened intently, enthralled with the man before me.
"Tell me more about England. I've always wanted to go there." I was on my belly, propped up on my elbows while he sat on the couch. We'd been engrossed in our own conversation for so long that we hadn't realized everyone else fell asleep.
"Where I'm from is quite picturesque. It's a beautiful little town. Maybe one day, if you ever go to England you can come by."
"Maybe." I laughed. "If my photography ever takes me there."
"You have to have faith in yourself love. You'll do it." I was glad he couldn't see me blush in the dark. "I'm glad you came to the show." He said after a moment of silence between us.
"Me too." He shifted, laying back on the couch.
"This is probably weird. But I was wondering....would you like a cuddle? I hate sleeping alone." I was taken aback. But he seemed serious, green eyes looking at me curiously. I couldn't say no. How could I?
"Sure." I said, climbing up on the couch. I laid my head on his chest, slotting my body against his, he wrapped his arms around me, lifting his leg slightly to keep me up on the couch. I felt him nuzzle my head, he was smelling my hair.
"I like this...you smell nice." I didn't reply, only smiled, burying my face in his chest as we drifted off to sleep.
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silverlightqueen ¡ 5 years ago
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Grease - Teaser
greaser!Hoseok x cheerleader!reader - fluff, angst, humour, potential smut
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 5k+ (not really a teaser lmao, but let’s just roll with it)
Summary - During the best summer of their childhood, good girl y/n and greaser Jung Hoseok indulge in a sweet and innocent love affair before parting ways, believing they will never see one another again. But fate has other plans, and it is only the beginning of the story for y/n and Hoseok in this tale of cars, chicks and high school cliques... (ft. Red Velvet and NCT Jaehyun)
Warnings - mild profanity, mention of sex, mild threat of violence, misogyny and sexism (it was the 50s lol), a lot of 50s slang (it took me longer to find relevant slang than it did to actually write this lmao), bts and red velvet flirting, gross overuse of pet names, I think that’s it but tell me if I missed anything lol
a/n: this is actually edited and proofread by the love of my life @silverlightprincess​ who made me even more excited about this story than I was before. I hope y’all like it x
song I listened to whilst writing: Bad Boy (English Version) - Red Velvet (the album cover inspired their outfits - yes, I know Rydell’s colours are red and white but I don’t care lol)
divider credit: ? (lmk if you know whose it is pls)
silverlightqueen masterlist
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‘Six strawberry milkshakes for the paper shakers!’ the chef behind the counter shouts. A waitress, stood mere feet away from him, winces at the volume of his voice in the quiet diner before picking up the tray of our milkshakes and heading over towards us. ‘Six strawberry milkshakes,’ she says softly, and we all thank her as she puts them down on the table in front of us.
‘You girls look neat. Rydell trying out some new threads?’ she asks, and we all look at Irene, the Cheer Captain, and the unspoken leader of our little group. ‘Yeah, but Coach didn’t really… dig them like I hoped he would. Says they’re impractical or something lame-brained like that,’ Irene says ruefully, and the waitress rolls her eyes. ‘And those skimpy little cheer kits aren’t? Coach is such a pooper – he’s probably just peed off he didn’t come up with these,’ she says, and Irene smiles, a hint of pride in her grin – she likes a little compliment. ‘He’ll warm up to them. Well, he has no choice – all the other girls have bought them too. Our parents will blow a fuse if we can’t wear them,’ Irene says, and the waitress nods, us five just sipping on our milkshakes as we listen. Just as she opens her mouth to reply, we hear the chef shout, ‘Mina! These tables ain’t gonna clean themselves!’ She rolls her eyes with an apologetic shrug before trudging over to the counter where the chef throws a cloth and disinfectant at her.
‘Irene, where did you get the idea for these duds?’ Joy asks, straw between her teeth as she speaks. ‘You know that girl group, Red Velvet? They dropped a new record a few weeks ago – you’ve heard it right? It’s all over the radio. Well, anyway, they did a video for it, and they were wearing these cute little skirts and tops, all in blue and yellow plaid,’ she explains, but I get the feeling Yeri and I are the only ones listening, all of the other girls staring out of the window behind us.
‘Oh, no. I recognise that hunk o’ junk. That’s Kim Seokjin and his little gang. They’ve just pulled up in the parking lot,’ Seulgi says, though the way she checks her reflection in her little pocket mirror shows she’s not quite as distressed about their arrival as she seems. ‘Don’t say that in front of Kim Taehyung. He calls it a ‘hot rod’; he’d flip out if he heard someone call it a hunk o’ junk,’ Wendy says warningly as she fixes her hair.
‘Wait, sorry, but who is Kim Seokjin? And who’re his gang?’ I ask, the girls all looking at me shock, quickly followed by realisation. ‘I keep forgettin’ you’re a newbie. They’re greasers – you’ve probably seen a couple of them at school. They’re… bad news. They have a reputation of humpin’ and dumpin’. Still doesn’t put all the girls off them though,’ Seulgi explains, saying the last bit under her breath.
‘What’s humping and dumping?’ I ask, the five of them shushing me instantly. ‘Keep your voice down, y/n, we can’t be heard talkin’ about things like that in public. Humpin’ and dumpin’ is, like… one minute, they’re all friendly, then they’re suddenly in your bed, and then they’ve forgotten you existed,’ Wendy explains quietly, and I nod in understanding, feeling my cheeks warm up a little bit at discussing something so crude.
‘That Jeon Jungkook did it to Lisa,’ Joy whispers as she applies fresh lipstick, and I picture our fellow cheerleader in my head, feeling a little bit of pity for the poor girl. ‘He’s so dreamy, though,’ Yeri says softly, and Irene rolls her eyes. ‘They’re all dreamy, Yeri, but they’re bad news,’ the girl says forcefully, echoing Seulgi’s earlier words.
And then the bell above the diner door rings behind me, followed by an absolute hubbub. ‘I’ll have you know, I got an A in Miss Lee’s class through workin’ my ass off!’ ‘No, it’s ‘cause you’re a little brownnoser, Jeon.’ ‘Hey! I am not!’ ‘So, if you’re workin’ your ass off in her class, why can’t you work your ass off in all the others? You’re failin’ everything else!’ ‘I’m not failin’ anything! I just don’t have time to do extra sessions with any other teachers.’ ‘You’re doing extra sessions with Miss Lee? Lucky fucker.’ ‘Lucky? How am I lucky?’ ‘She’s stacked.’ ‘So what? She might be a sex-pot, but we’re doin’ history work, not makin’ out.’ ‘Maybe you should make out with her. Drive her home, a little backseat bingo.’ ‘Jeon’s too much of a sissy for that.’ ‘I’m not a sissy! I could easy… backseat bingo with Miss Lee if I wanted too.’ ‘So you don’t want to? Are you queer?’
‘Hey, fat-heads, put a lid on it,’ one voice rises above all the squabbling. ‘Get a load of those dollies,’ the voice says softly, not softly enough for us to not hear. I feel a sudden rush of panic, knowing they’re about to join us. ‘Are those paper shakers I spy?’ ‘It can’t be.’ The teasing voices get louder and closer, and Irene gives me an encouraging smile, obviously telling me not to worry.
‘Ah, if it isn’t Rydell’s resident greasers,’ Seulgi says with a small smirk, and then ‘Rydell’s resident greasers’ come into my view. All of them have their hair slicked back and wear black leather jackets over black or white t-shirts, and black or blue jeans, but that’s where the similarities end. All of them are handsome, but in their own ways; Irene was right – they’re all dreamy. ‘Speak for the rest of ‘em, my hair ain’t greasy,’ one of the boys says with a boxy smile, pushing himself into the booth beside Joy who welcomes him with a flirty grin. He’s right too; his hair isn’t greasy at all. None of their hair is. A little shiny and sleek, but not greasy. At the mention of grease, one of the boys begins singing ‘Grease Is The Word’ obnoxiously loud, another hitting him over the head.
‘Don’t you skirts look cute?’ another of the boys says with a smirk as he pulls a stool up to the side of our booth, and the girls all smile back. ‘Thanks, Jungkook,’ Yeri says with a little flutter of her eyelashes, and he ever-so-slightly leans over me towards her, ignoring me completely. ‘You’re most welcome, doll,’ he replies, and she giggles behind her hand.
‘Oh. Who’s this?’ one of the other boys asks, looking at me, and suddenly all of them are looking at me. I will myself to be confident and flirty like the other girls, and I sit up a little in my seat. ‘She’s new ‘round here,’ Wendy says, not giving me a proper introduction. But it seems it’s better she didn’t, all of the boys suddenly intrigued, eyes scanning me intently. I spot Seulgi and Joy exchange a little grin; they’ve been bugging me all week to try and talk to some boys, saying it’d be super easy for me because of how much of a ‘dish’ I am, but I’m way too shy for that. ‘Obviously. I woulda noticed a cute little piece like this before,’ a disembodied voice says, and when Jungkook moves his head to the side, I spot the source of the voice.
He’s… hot, to say the least, his good looks making my stomach turn a little. His skin sports a golden tan, his eyes and hair a dark brown, and he has nice proportions, not too built but not exactly small either. He gives me a little grin when he spots me looking at him, and I’m endeared when I notice his lips form a heart shape when he smiles. I’m certain I’ve seen a smile like that before.
‘Don’t call her a piece, Hoseok. That’s derogatory towards women,’ Irene says, all eyes turning to her with surprise. Hoseok. Nice name. ‘What? We all know I’m a feminist, it’s not a surprise,’ she says matter-of-factly, as though it’s the most normal thing in the world, before taking a sip of her milkshake. ‘We’re just surprised you know a big word like derogary,’ one of the boys says, coaxing laughter from the rest of them. ‘It’s derogatory, doofus, not derogary,’ Irene says but her voice is lost under their laughter.
‘Hey, Yoongi, Mina’s workin’ tonight,’ one of the boys says, nudging another, presumably Yoongi, who instantly looks up with eager eyes, everyone else laughing. ‘Excuse me, ladies, knuckleheads. My lady awaits,’ he says, the other boys hollering and hooting at him, pushing him towards where poor Mina cleans tables on the other side of the diner.
‘So, what’s the dealio with you, sweetie? How’s a cute little dish like you managed to get in with the socs?’ one of the boys says to me in a teasing tone as he leans against the booth beside ours, the other girls rolling their eyes. ‘I hate it when you call us that, Jimin,’ Seulgi says with wide eyes and a little pout, and he grins at her, blowing her a kiss before he says, ‘sorry, baby, but ya know it’s true. Popular teeny queenies, you five.’ Seulgi certainly seems appeased, a satisfied little smirk on her face when she turns to take a sip of her milkshake.
‘I was a cheerleader at my old school, so the girls got me on the team as soon as I started at Rydell,’ I explain softly, the boys all listening with interest. ‘Ain’t you a cutie? So softly spoken, an’ all posh soundin'. Not like this noisy broad,’ the boy beside Joy says, nudging her, and she nudges him back with a scowl. ‘Shut it, Tae,’ she snaps, and the boy, Tae, grins as he throws an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side, Joy’s scowl quickly disappearing.
‘Ain’t you in one of my classes?’ Jungkook says, and I look at him for a moment, before nodding, realising he’s in my Math class. ‘Mmhmm. Math, right?’ I say, and he nods with a little grin at me, an unreadable expression on his face. ‘You’re awful quiet in class.’ ‘And you’re awful loud.’ The entire group bursts out laughing, Jungkook included, and he looks impressed.
‘The kitten has claws, huh?’ Hoseok says, my eyes flitting up to meet his amused ones, and then I realise – I’ve seen him before. ‘I recognise you,’ I say without thinking, and a little bit of surprise appears on his face before he quickly masks it with a grin. ‘That’s a line I usually use,’ he says, and everyone laughs, a little bit of embarrassment unfurling in my chest as I let out a giggle.
‘So what’s your name, sweetheart?’ the boy that thought ‘derogary’ was a word asks, and I raise an eyebrow at him. ‘What’s yours?’ I ask, and he grins, more laughter rippling around the group. ‘Kim Seokjin, Jin for short. I’m surprised you don’t know. Irene’s neighbours sure do,’ he jokes, a little gasp escaping my lips as everyone laughs, Irene shooting him a death stare. ‘Aw, ain’t you adorable?’ Tae says with an amused grin, having noticed my gasp, and I feel blood rushing to my cheeks as I duck my head to take a sip of my milkshake.
‘What’s the name then, doll?’ Hoseok asks, my heart fluttering at the nickname. ‘y/n,’ I say, and his mouth falls open. ‘Get outta here. There’s no way. y/n y/l/n?’ he asks, and I nod mutely, shocked that he knows my full name. ‘It’s me, Jung Hoseok,’ he says, and I vaguely recognise the name, but can’t remember where I know him from. One of the boys whistles to fill the awkward silence, another whispering ‘sheesh, ain’t that a bite?’. Hoseok looks at me with intense eyes, almost willing me to remember him. ‘Come on, y/n, you remember me. That summer. At the beach. You know me,’ he says, almost desperately, and then I realise exactly who he is, ice cold shock filling my veins.
‘Hobi! No way!’ I exclaim, a grin spreading across his face as he nods. ‘Hobi? Who the fuck is Hobi?’ Jimin asks, and Hobi rubs the back of his neck embarrassedly. ‘I am. It was my nickname when I was a kid,’ he admits, the boys all laughing, and annoyance appears on his face. ‘Put a lid on it, dipsticks. My old lady gave me that nickname, an’ I’ll be damned if you make me embarrassed of it,’ he says seriously, the boys all falling silent. ‘I like it,’ Seulgi says evenly, taking a sip of her milkshake. ‘Yeah, it’s cute. Hobi. Definitely suits you,’ Wendy says, and suddenly, Hobi’s sporting a little grin, and the other boys seem a little jealous at the attention from the girls.
‘So, you two childhood friends or somethin’?’ the only boy whose name I don’t know yet asks, and both Hobi and I nod. ‘We met a couple years back, when we were… 15?’ he asks me, and I nod. ‘Yeah, 15. I was nearly 16. It was summer, an’ our villas were next to each other on holiday. We spent the whole summer together,’ he says, the others listening with interest. ‘Ain’t that just adorable? Who woulda thought our big bad wolf would turn out to be a little softie?’ the boy replies, and Hobi glares at him. ‘You’re cruisin’ for a bruisin’, Namjoon, so can it before you get a knuckle sandwich. I’m sure Wendy wouldn’t be too happy to see your face busted,’ Hobi threatens, and I’m shocked to see a new side to the gentle and kind boy so full of sunshine that I met a few years ago. He spots the look on my face, and suddenly looks ashamed of himself, the anger in his disposition instantly disappearing.
The conversation quickly moves on to Namjoon and Wendy, and I’m lost in my memories of that summer with Hobi. He was such a lovely boy, so funny and full of laughter. We made a lifetime of memories that summer, and I’ll always treasure it as the summer I fell in love for the first time.
‘Oh, y/n, your milkshake’s finished. Why don’t you get another one?’ Yeri says, nudging me out of my own mind, and I look down at my glass. Sure enough, it’s empty. I didn’t think I’d had that much. ‘Oh. Yeah, okay. Does anyone else want anything?’ I offer, and Yeri hands me some money to get her a basket of cheesy fries, and tells me to get my milkshake with her money too. And it’s then that I notice her glass is suspiciously full, around the amount that I had left in mine. She grins at me sneakily before her eyes flit to Hobi, and I know she’s plotting for him to follow me.
I slide out of the booth, and head up to the counter, my white cheer shoes squeaking against the clean vinyl floor. I cross paths with Yoongi, who’s glowering a little. ‘Any luck with Mina?’ I ask, my courage at speaking to a virtual stranger surprising me. ‘Not really,’ he admits, and I supress an amused laugh. ‘Maybe bring her some flowers next time you’re here? Girls love it when boys do things like that. It’s cute and romantic,’ I say, and he nods, digesting my words. ‘Yeah. Good idea. Thanks, new girl,’ he says, heading back to our booth with renewed energy.
I order a strawberry milkshake and Yeri’s fries at the counter, poor Mina looking like she could kill the chef when he shouts at her to clean the machine before getting my milkshake. ‘Shall I bring it over, or you gonna wait?’ she asks me, but I’m saved from answering, a voice behind me replying, ‘we’ll wait.’ Hobi appears, sliding on to the stool beside where I stand with an easy grin at me, my heart jumping.
‘I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,’ he admits, and I smile. ‘Me too. You’ve changed,’ I say, and his smile slips a little. I feel guilty, and so I make up for it by saying, ‘you’ve grown into a dreamboat.’ A grin instantly appears on his face, and he puffs out his chest a little, coaxing a laugh from me. ‘But look at you, y/n. You were always a pretty little thing, but now… well, you got a classy chassis, alright, an’ your face ain’t half bad either,’ he says as offhandedly as possible, a little grin on his face, and I can practically see his new greaser image fighting down the sweet boy that I know is inside. What he says is a little… not offensive, but I know Irene wouldn’t be too impressed if she heard it, and yet I can’t help but feel a little flattered. ‘Thank you. I think,’ I giggle, fingers toying with the hem of my skirt nervously, and he leans back against the counter, eyes skimming over my figure. ‘It was a compliment, doll. This new uniform’s cute, too. Reminds me of that little dress you wore, our last night that summer,’ he says, smiling widely, and my heart warms at him remembering.
I know exactly the dress he means; it was yellow and white plaid, sleeveless, and the hem came to just above my knee. I remember feeling so grown up in such a short dress, but it’s nothing compared to the outfit I’m wearing now. My grandparents would be scandalised if they saw me in my strappy, yellow plaid top – revealing my arms, the majority of my chest and a little bit of midriff when I stretch – and my blue plaid skirt, swishing around my thighs, with lacy white ankle socks and a yellow plaid scrunchie on my wrist. All the other girls are in variations of the same outfit, colours switched around on their tops and bottoms, different shape tops, different length skirts. It’s a little risqué, but times are slowly changing, and Irene is a firm believer that people like us will help to change it.
‘I barely remember that night,’ I say shyly, and he raises an eyebrow, knowing I’m lying. ‘I could never forget,’ he says lowly, eyes locked with mine, and the memory appears in my head. I shared my first kiss with him that night and whilst the memory is one that I treasure, I’m surprised it means anything to him. He’s a greaser, and they have a reputation for… ‘humping and dumping’ as Seulgi so eloquently put it. ‘You were my first kiss,’ he says casually, and I smile shyly, a little surprised at hearing so. ‘I never would’ve guessed,’ I say softly, and he grins. ‘I haven’t been a… greaser forever, you know,’ he says frankly, and I laugh. ‘Well, you were my first kiss too,’ I admit, and he grins even wider. ‘I know, kitten,’ he replies, and I feel my face fall a little, his face falling too. ‘No, no, I don’t mean it like that. It wasn’t bad, or anything,’ he says hastily, and I raise an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. ‘You were just so…’ he trails off, and I give him a pointed look, prompting him to continue. ‘Innocent. Practically jail bait. A cute little Quentin Quail. It’s hot when a girl’s like that. Hotter than easy girls,’ he says, and I nod, holding back a laugh, and trying to mask how embarrassed I am at the flattery.
‘Here’s your milkshake, y/n, and your fries,’ Mina says, suddenly interrupting mine and Hobi’s eye contact. ‘Hey, Mina,’ Hobi says with a flirty grin, and I try to stop my smile from faltering. ‘Hi Hobi.’ ‘Why’s the diner so quiet tonight? It’s like Nowheresville in here.’ ‘Everyone’s at the bar, watching the football.’ ‘Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Well, anyway…’ ‘Yes, Hobi?’ Mina replies in a bored tone, and I suddenly like the girl. A lot. ‘Why don’t ya give Yoongi a chance? He’s real sweet on ya,’ Hobi says easily, and my heart warms when I realise that he’s trying to be a good friend. ‘And I told him already, I got a boyfriend,’ Mina says, and Hobi nods, impressed. ‘Yeah? What’s his name?’ ‘He goes by Bambam.’ ‘Still at school?’ ‘Na, he works at the garage ‘round the corner.’ ‘Good pay?’ ‘You writin’ a book or somethin? What’s with all the questions?’ ‘Just askin’. I wanna work there.’ ‘I’ll put in a word if you get Min over there to leave me be,’ Mina says, Hobi holding a hand out to her with a grin. ‘Deal,’ he says, Mina unable to keep a small smile off her face as she shakes his hand.
‘Come on, doll, let’s get back before Yeri’s fries go cold,’ Hobi says, his attention back on me as he hands me my milkshake, picking up the fries in one hand and snaking the other around my waist. A little thrill runs through my body at the feeling of his hand on me. He leads me back over to the table as I thank Mina over my shoulder. When we reach our booth, everyone’s staring at us, continuing to do so when Hobi puts Yeri’s fries down in front of her, slides into my seat and pulls me down onto his lap. My heart nearly pounds out of my chest.
‘You two look awful… close,’ Wendy says cautiously, and Hobi shrugs offhandedly. ‘We spent a whole summer together, ‘course we’re close.’ ‘Yeah, like two years ago.’ ‘So what?’ ‘Nothin’. Hobi.’ ‘Are ya laughin’ at my nickname?’ ‘No.’ ‘So, tell us more about this summer you two spent together,’ Taehyung says musingly, his elbow on the table and his chin resting on his hand. ‘Yeah, d’you get in her drawers?’ Jimin asks with a mischievous grin, and blood rushes to my cheeks from embarrassment. ‘Hey! Shut it, bozo, they were little kids,’ Seulgi exclaims, hitting him over the head, and he continues grinning, still looking at Hobi for an answer. ‘Mind your own beeswax,’ Hobi replies as his arms slide around my stomach. ‘Come on, let’s hear a little at least,’ Namjoon says softly, the others all nodding in agreement. ‘We wanna hear about your summer lovin’. Did you get friendly down in the sand?’ ‘D’you get far?’ ‘Did she put up a fight?’ Shut it, clods! Don’t ask questions like that, ‘specially not in front of her,’ Hobi exclaims, all of them exchanging grins. ‘Jeez, whatta grouch. You oughta tell us somethin’, since you didn’t even tell us about her after that summer,’ Jungkook says, leaning away from Hobi when the boy goes to hit him. ‘What are ya, the FBI? Lay off a little. There’s nothin’ to know. Like Seulgi said; we were little kids. Ain’t that right, kitten?’ Hobi says, and I nod in response to his question, butterflies in my stomach at being sat on his lap, having his arms around me, and having him speak to me like… like I’m his girl or something.
‘Well, whatever. I’m bored. Let’s cut out,’ Taehyung says, and I can see Joy deflate a little, my heart going out to her. ‘Na, let’s stick around a while,’ Jimin grins, eyes locked with Seulgi who grins right back. ‘Thought we were gonna hit the passion pit,’ Hobi says, Irene rolling her eyes. ‘The flick’s probably finished by now,’ Namjoon says, and Yoongi grins. ‘Let’s head down to Thunder Road,’ he says with a glint in his eyes, and the others exchange a glance before looking to Jin. ‘Na, my old lady said I gotta be home before midnight,’ Jungkook says, the others all mocking him. ‘Candy ass. Your old lady won’t say nothin’ if you’re late, let’s just go,’ Yoongi says, and Jin shakes his head. ‘Ice it. We get in enough trouble, let’s not go lookin’ for it,’ he says, surprisingly wisely, and the other boys respect his words, nodding.
‘We makin’ tracks or what? I really gotta get home or my old lady’ll crown me,’ Jungkook says, Yeri practically melting at his words – obviously she’s got a soft spot for a momma’s boy. ‘Yeah, let’s split. You dollies hangin’ ‘round here, or ya wanna come with?’ Jin asks, and the girls all look to Irene. ‘Where ya goin’? We ain’t comin’ if you’re goin’ to Thunder Road,’ Irene says, and I’m still unaware of what exactly Thunder Road is. ‘Na, we’re gonna drop the kid off an’ then… head to the bar,’ Jin says, the other boys cheering at his words. They all start to get up from their seats, and I feel Hobi fidgeting a little beneath me. I get out of the booth, and he gives me a smile before sliding out himself, and I take the empty seat. Irene looks around at us all before answering, ‘I think we’re gonna head home.’ ‘Any of ya need a ride?’ Jin offers, and Irene shakes her head. ‘I’m drivin’ Yeri and y/n home, and Seulgi’s old man said he’ll pick her, Joy and Wendy up on his way from work,’ Irene says, Jin nodding. Whilst he seemed a little immature at first, it’s obvious he’s a lot more grown up and responsible than the others.
‘Well. We’ll see you dollies at school on Monday then,’ Jin says, the other boys giving various goodbyes. Tae squeezes Joy’s thigh, the girl jumping a little in her seat as he grins, Jimin blowing Seulgi a kiss as he heads towards the door and she giggles, pretending to catch it and tuck it into her top. Namjoon gives Wendy a wink and she rolls her eyes, unable to hold back the grin on her face, as Jin exchanges a little glance with Irene and Jungkook presses a kiss to Yeri’s hand with a smirk, Yeri giggling as a blush colours her cheeks. ‘See ya Monday, y/n,’ Hobi says with a grin, and I smile back. ‘Bye, Hobi,’ I reply, the boys leaving moments later.
The diner seems eerily quiet now that they’re gone, and all of the girls look at me. ‘You and Jung Hoseok, huh? Who woulda thought?’ Joy says, looking at me with both curiosity and amusement in her eyes. ‘You’re so good, and sweet, y/n. I never woulda guessed you had the hots for him,’ Wendy says, and the true words are unspoken. So I say them. ‘And you never would’ve guessed he had the hots for me?’ I say plainly, Wendy looking a little guilty. ‘It sounds bad when you say it like that. I mean… the greasers, they flirt with us and all, but they’d choose an easy girl over us any day. And you’re not easy. You’re so innocent and soft, and I’m just surprised Hoseok would like someone like that,’ Wendy explains herself, and it makes perfect sense. ‘He wasn’t the same back then. He was… really nice, and gentle,’ I say, the girls exchanging a glance. ‘y/n, he’s been in that gang since he was, like, 14, ‘cause his big sister dates one of the older boys in the gang. Meanin’ he was a greaser back then too. Maybe… he dropped the act with you, though,’ Irene says, though she sounds sceptical. ‘Yeah. Maybe,’ I say, questioning our summer together in my head.
‘Speak of the devil,’ Wendy says gently, just before Hobi reappears beside me. ‘Hey, doll. I was wonderin’ if ya wanna do somethin’ with me? Maybe next Friday, after school?’ he asks, rubbing the back of his neck, and he looks almost nervous. My stomach turns with butterflies, and it’s only when Yeri nudges me that I remember I need to answer. ‘That… sounds real nice, but the pep rally’s next Friday. Maybe another day?’ I ask, and he nods, looking down at the floor, a little disheartened. ‘I can do something on the weekend after the pep rally?’ I offer, and he looks back up hopefully. ‘Yeah. Yeah, the weekend sounds good. You wanna… go to the passion pit? They’re showin’ Sunset Boulevard,’ he suggests, and I nod with a small smile. ‘I… I’d really like that, Hobi,’ I reply, and he smiles, real wide, his eyes practically shining. ‘I’ll pick you up. It’d be nice to see your parents again.’ ‘Yeah, that would be nice. They’d like to see you too.’ ‘Yeah. Neat. We’ll talk about it at school, but I gotta go. The boys are waitin’ for me,’ he says, and I nod, smiling. ‘Bye, Hobi,’ I say softly, and he grins back at me. ‘See ya, y/n,’ he says, taking a sip of my milkshake and laughing when I swat at him, before jogging towards the door.
I sigh happily, looking around at the girls, who all look back at me amusedly. ‘Oh, she’s a goner,’ Yeri says gently, and I laugh, rolling my eyes. ‘So is he, by the looks of it,’ Joy says, and Irene raises an eyebrow. ‘I’m not so sure. You know why people go to the passion pit,’ Irene says, and I look blankly at her. ‘Why?’ ‘To have the movie as background noise for… backseat bingo,’ she says quietly, and I feel my happiness deflate a little. I’ve met the first (and only) boy I loved again after a couple years, and I’m finding out he’s a horndog. ‘But maybe he just wants to watch the flick. I heard Sunset Boulevard’s real good,’ Seulgi says encouragingly, obviously trying to cheer me up, and I nod, though Irene’s words still ring in my ears. ‘I could be worryin’ for nothin’, y/n, don’t get sad about it. I just wanna look out for ya, that’s all,’ Irene says, and I smile at her, feeling gratitude for her being so kind this soon into our friendship. ‘Thanks, Irene. Don’t worry, I won’t let him… get into my drawers,’ I joke, repeating Jimin’s earlier words, and the girls all burst out laughing. ‘I sure hope not ‘cause my momma’s goin’ to watch Sunset Boulevard next weekend,’ Joy says between laughs, coaxing more laughter from us. I meet Irene’s eyes, and she gives me a gentle smile before mouthing, ‘be careful.’ ‘Don’t worry,’ I mouth back with a smile, ‘I will.’
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nerianasims ¡ 4 years ago
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Billboard #1s 1987
Under the cut.
"Shake You Down" -- Gregory Abbot -- January 17, 1987
The only reason I've heard this song before is because of Todd in the Shadows' worst hit songs of 1987 video. I do not entirely agree with his list, but this one definitely belongs on it. I don't think the song's writer knew what "shake down" actually means. This is supposed to be a love song about how the narrator is missing the woman he's staring at (um) and wants her back so he can "shake you down." It sounds creepy, and yet the music is so painfully bland it can't even rise to that. It's no surprise it hasn't gotten radio play since it was a hit. That it was a hit in the first place is mystifying.
"At This Moment" -- Billy Vera and the Beaters -- January 24, 1987
A rather good blue-eyed soul song. The narrator is singing to a woman who just told him she's in love with someone else. It sounds like she's acting scared, and he's upset by that as well as by her leaving him, because "I'd never, never hurt you." And he'd give up twenty years of his life if she'd stay. There are some massive blues horns, Billy Vera sings it well, and it's cathartically sad. The song became a hit years after it was first released because it was on Family Ties. Billy Vera keeps on chugging, and he's also a music historian. He won a Grammy for "best album notes" in 2013 for a Ray Charles boxed set. I had no idea that was an award category.
"Open Your Heart" -- Madonna -- February 7, 1987
Watch out. When Madonna says "I've had to work much harder than this/ For something I want, don't try to resist me," it's absolutely believable. She worked incredibly hard to get where she was. I guess the song is stalkery when looked at from a certain angle, but that is not the angle I choose. I hear it as I did as a teenager -- as something aspirational, because I got huge and powerful crushes on guys (mostly friends) and then did absolutely nothing about it, both because I had no idea what to do and because I didn't actually want a boyfriend yet. (That changed in college.) Musically and lyrically, the song is Motown mixed with disco and updated, as most of the True Blue album is. It's a lot of fun.
"Livin on a Prayer" -- Bon Jovi -- February 14, 1987
I wonder what I'd feel about this song if it hadn't been overplayed for years and years. I don't think it was/is played more than "You Give Love a Bad Name," but I have never been sick of "You Give Love a Bad Name." This one... meh. I don't want to run screaming from it, even after hearing it a zillion times, so that's something. It's about a working class couple who's having serious money troubles. It's just a snapshot of this difficult time in their life, and how they're holding on to each other. I'd be happier with it if the story were rounded out, and especially if they got a happy ending. The music is fine, acceptable rock, but nothing special.
"Jacob's Ladder" -- Huey Lewis and the News -- March 14, 1987
This song is a "fuck off" to televangelists, though if you only listen to the chorus you might not know that. I always appreciate anyone telling televangelists to fuck off. I could use it being nastier, but you can't expect real nastiness from Huey Lewis and the News. Genesis would go there a few years later, and I like that song much better. "Jesus He Knows Me" is also more interesting musically. This one's fine, but not memorable.
"Lean on Me" -- Club Nouveau -- March 21, 1987
The original "Lean on Me" is one of the great songs. This version is annoying. A go-go beat and a faux-reggae break. The original of this song is deeply emotional and touching. This one is not even a good dance song. I liked it when I was a kid, but that makes sense, because it's a very kiddie song.
"Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" -- Starship -- April 4, 1987
This song is actually not bad. It's pretty good, even. It's a very slick synth-heavy drum machine love song, but I really like the way Grace Slick sings on it. Mickey Thomas, well, he hits the notes. Could be worse. If they'd gotten a male vocalist who could match Grace Slick on his part of the duet, this might be a great song. They didn't, so it's just pretty good.
"I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)" -- Aretha Franklin and George Michael -- April 18, 1987
George Michael is an excellent singer, but he's no Aretha Franklin. But who is? He holds his own pretty well here. As both Franklin and Michael know how to push emotion in a song, they end up with good chemistry on this one. Unfortunately, though the vocal performances are great, the music itself is dull. The melody slips out of my head while I'm listening to it.
"(I Just) Died in Your Arms" -- Cutting Crew -- May 2, 1987
*silent scream of anguish* I wish this song would slip out of my head permanently. It is my personal most overplayed song in existence. My hate for it could end worlds. I have no idea about what qualities it might or might not have. I just want it to shut the fuck up.
"With or Without You" -- U2 -- May 16, 1987
I don't think U2 actually counts as "alternative," but the alternative stations were the only ones who played them where I lived. The song is extremely structured and carefully designed, but it feels somehow raw at the same time. It doesn't have the layers upon layers of synth that most of the songs on the charts did. It has a beautiful melody. The lyrics are thoughtful, heartrending poetry. I'm not sure what I thought of the song at the time -- I associate it more with a couple years later, when my family moved to a town near a huge state college and I started listening to the college station. It hasn't aged a bit. An amazing song.
Also Bono’s personality is somewhat insufferable if one is silly enough to look into it. But his voice is incredibly hot, and I very much appreciate that.
"You Keep Me Hangin' On" -- Kim Wilde -- June 6, 1987
Back to the layers of synth. This is the Supremes song updated as a 1987 dance song, and it sounds exactly like you'd think it would. It's okay.
"Always" -- Atlantic Starr -- June 13, 1987
This is the kind of song I made gagging noises about at age 10, when it came out. I'm tempted to now too. It's like corn syrup, both lyrically and musically. It sounds like it was written for weddings.
"Head to Toe" -- Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam -- June 20, 1987
I liked this song a lot when I was a kid. I had a lot of fun dancing to it. Now I hear Lisa Lisa's vocals in the opening and chorus, which are kind of like a police siren, and want to cover my ears. I can't listen to it without getting a headache nowadays.
"I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)" -- Whitney Houston -- June 27, 1987
This is a Whitney Houston song I like. She doesn't oversing as much as usual -- she mostly, though not entirely, saves it for the chorus. She wants to dance with "a man who'll take a chance/ On a love that burns hot enough to last." It's a simple dance song that speaks to real emotion.
"Alone" -- Heart -- July 11, 1987
In the 80s, Heart did hair metal ballads. All the men who did the same were copying them. Including the hair itself. Heart did it first, and Heart did it best. So lyrically, why can't she get this person alone? Not even on the phone? Whatever, it doesn't matter. What matters is the emotion, the music, and that this is a great song to sing along with.
"Shakedown" -- Bob Seger -- August 1, 1987
Unlike Gregory Abbott, Bob Seger knew what "shakedown" meant. The song was written for Beverly Hills Cop II, and that's exactly what it sounds like. It's a good movie song, but doesn't transcend that box. Still fun though.
"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" -- U2 -- August 8, 1987
This is a spiritual pop song. But it's very far from the sanitized happy clappy Christian-brand pop that's so foul. It's about a search for transcendence that's ongoing -- eternal, really. And while this song is explicitly Christian, it speaks to a universality that doesn't require religion of any kind. Also it's beautiful musically.
"Who's That Girl" -- Madonna -- August 22, 1987
I'm surprised this was a number one. Or even charted in the top 20. I'd have predicted #46 or something. The movie it was written for was terrible, and Madonna was particularly terrible in it. Like, aggressively terrible, when in most movies she was just kinda blah. I've never liked the song. I don't hate it either; I don't feel much of anything about it. That is very strange for a Madonna song -- "American Life" is awful, but it makes me feel things. (Mostly embarrassment.) But "Who's That Girl" is bland, which a Madonna song should never be.
"La Bamba" -- Los Lobos -- August 29, 1987
This is a nearly faithful rendition of Richie Valens' original hit, which was based on a Veracruz folk song. But where are the castanets? The original is better, a true classic, but this one isn't bad. It's simply... unnecessary. It was done for a movie about Valens, so I guess it was sort of "necessary" in that way. Skip this one and go for Valens' version.
"I Just Can't Stop Loving You" -- Michael Jackson with Siedah Garrett -- September 19, 1987
This is from the Bad album, which I did not like in 1987 and continue to not like now. I find this song extraordinarily dull. Whitney Houston and Barbra Streisand both turned it down, and I'm not surprised. This song weirdly makes me think of The Love Boat. Like it belongs in a television series. It's legitimately bad. When do we get to Janet again?
"Didn't We Almost Have It All" -- Whitney Houston -- September 26, 1987
I think the narrator in this song is trying to get an old flame back. It's a pretty melody, and the lyrics are wildly repetitive but not bad, but I can't get past Houston's oversinging. Anyone who doesn't mind that will probably enjoy this song.
"Here I Go Again" -- Whitesnake -- October 10, 1987
I wonder what makes one feel a song is "horribly overplayed" vs. just "played probably too much but I'm fine with it." This song is the latter for me. It's a really good song, so obviously that's part of it. The beginning is thoughtful and searching, with an organ and everything (or probably a synth on the organ setting), and has that same spiritual feel as "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." Then in come the guitars, which are awesome. It absolutely rocks, and the emotion is of "like a drifter I was born to walk alone" is amplified by the rock, rather than buried under it.
"Lost in Emotion" -- Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam -- October 17, 1987
Lisa Lisa does not sound like a police siren in this, thankfully. And I got frozen on this song because I listened to it over and over and managed to feel absolutely nothing about it. I guess she's falling in love with a friend and worried she's telling him too much, and I should identify with this because it's happened to me more than once. But I don't. I like the bass line, and it's updated Motown, so I should like that. But again, I feel nothing. Maybe it's the way Lisa Lisa sings it. I don't know, and I've wasted far too much time on something I cannot make myself care about in any way.
"Bad" -- Michael Jackson -- October 24, 1987
I think the Bad album is bad. Actually bad, as in not good. I was 11 when this hit #1, so everything in the universe embarrassed me, but this stood out. I no longer knew anyone who liked Michael Jackson. I certainly didn't. In my opinion, Jackson had exactly one good album in him, and that album was Thriller. Thriller is one of the greats. Bad is blah.
"I Think We're Alone Now" -- Tiffany -- November 7, 1987
I wonder what makes stations decide to play #1 hits and what makes them decide not to. I don't remember hearing this much at the time, and never after. It's a cover of a 1960s song that was never that great, and it's worse here. In 1967, the "ooh we're alone gonna do something naughty" idea was still edgy. In 1987 -- are you kidding? Madonna's tearing up the charts in 1987; what on earth is this thing doing on it? It's an annoying song, annoyingly sung.
"Mony Mony" -- Billy Idol -- November 21, 1987
I had to do aerobics to this in middle school. Next!
"(I've Had) The Time of My Life" -- Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes -- November 28, 1987
This is one of those songs I can't really evaluate because it feels like background music to my life. Not that it was ever particularly important to me -- it's not. But it's sort of like "Eye of the Tiger", movie song and all. Medley and Warnes are well-matched on the song, and they do a great job. I wish the music were more interesting, but well, movie ballad. It's a good one for what it is. By the way, Dirty Dancing is another movie I've managed to never see. For no reason -- I might even like it. But somehow, it's never come up.
"Heaven Is a Place on Earth" -- Belinda Carlisle -- December 5, 1987
Ooh baby, do you know what that's worth? Yes. I love everything about this song. It's a big and unashamed dance power ballad about how great love is, and the lyrics are simple but powerful. But I have  a question: What the heck is up with the video? It looks like she's being inducted into a cult, not like she's in ecstasy over great romantic love. Well, it was the 80s, the videos usually didn't have anything to do with the songs. Still, weird.
"Faith" -- George Michael -- December 12, 1987
I've known the lyrics to this song since it came out, but I never registered them before. Only "I gotta have faith, faith, faith." I remember the video, though, with its prominent focus on George Michael's butt. I'm watching the video now, and huh, there's a basically naked woman in it too. That, I didn't remember, because it wasn't relevant to my interests. Anyway, the lyrics are about how the narrator needs a break from relationships so is not gonna have sex with this hot woman. Sure, George, that's why. Ahem. Sorry, we didn't know then, and it doesn't matter one bit anyway, because the singer is playing a role. It's a fun song for which the lyrics don't matter at all.
BEST OF 1987 -- "With or Without You" by U2  WORST OF 1987 -- "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" by Michael Jackson with Siedah Garrett
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xxisxxisxxis ¡ 5 years ago
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Gateway Drug | Part Fifty-Seven
A/N: this is kinda raunchy. I'm not sorry.
Word count: 4K
Warning(s): explicit language, explicit sexual situations, mentions of drug abuse
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1981
"...Shh." Nikki chuckles out in a smile, his hand over my mouth as he comes up for a second so I can calm down. "If your parents hear you, I'm fucked."
"I'm sorry, you've been going down on me the past hour, I'm really sensetive right now, and I thought you didn't care." I whisper, quoting him from something he's said before.
He just smirks.
"I thought about it and decided if we get caught, I won't be able to do this..." He tugs my nipple with his teeth for a moment, causing me to gasp out. "...or this..." he pushes two fingers into my slick cunt and I arch my back, the delicious friction causing my body to crave more. "...or this." He goes back to where he was, his tongue working at my swollen clit.
I take in a sharp breath, trying to keep from moaning too loud as he devours me and every last drop of sticky-sweet running out of me.
"Oh, fuck, daddy." I whine out, my hips bucking up, grinding against his feasting mouth, only causing him to move his tongue faster and more deliberately.
He hums at the sound, his dark eyes glancing up at me, his hands keeping my thighs spread wide open as he sucks at my clit, making my eyes roll back, my toes curl, and a wanton moan leaves my lips as my pussy tenses and relaxes repeatedly, wanting to be filled and abused.
Nikki finishes licking the cum from between my legs, before laying beside me as my exhausted body tries to wind down.
"You don't want me to do anything for you?" I ask him, taking deep breaths, blinking slowly at him.
He shakes his head, giving me a little smile, before pulling the covers up to my chin so I don't have to.
"No, Viv, getting to eat you for over an hour straight is repayment enough." He chuckles and my face burns red.
"Quit saying it like that." I cover my face with my hands.
"That's what I was doing, was it not?"
"I guess, but you don't have to be so..." I wrinkle my nose for a second. "...I don't know."
"Oh, so you can call me 'daddy' but when I call it 'eating', it's the end of the world?" He looks at me and I narrow my eyes at him.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I deny his accusation and he raises his brows.
"Oh, please, Viv, you scream it out like a bitch in heat almost everytime we fuck around."
"Fine, then, I'll stop." I shrug and he snaps his attention to me.
"I didn't say I didn't like it, it's just amusing to hear it from you, of all people, Saint Viv."
"Shut up, Devil Spawn." I shove at his arm.
"Ow." He complains, rubbing his hand over where I hit him, pretending to be hurt.
I roll my eyes and he mocks me, causing me to shove at his arm again.
"Do it again, see what happens." He threatens and I, spitefully, do it again.
I don't have time to react before he's snatching me onto him, grasping my wrists in his hands as he tickles at my stomach, causing me to double over and try to keep from waking my parents.
"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I whisper yell and he stops, allowing me to catch my breath and he laughs arrogantly, his rough palms rubbing up and down my thighs, calmly, his smile slowly starting fade as he looks up at me.
"What is it?" I ask him, self-consciously pulling the covers back around me to cover my chest.
"You're beautiful." He says lowly, his hand coming up to brush my red hair from my face.
"Don't be weird." I say in regards to whatever the hell is happening between us.
We've only messed around a handful of times and I've been trying not to get attached because there's no point. I don't need him bullshitting me just for the hell of it.
"I'm being honest, Viv. You are."
"So is every other girl you have fun with. We're already fooling around anytime either of us wants it, you can stop trying to tell me nice stuff so I'll let you between my legs, Nikki." I laugh it off, but the sting of the truth strikes through my body.
"The other girls are nice to look at, but are grade-A hangers-on. They could give less of a fuck as long they're getting boned by a rockstar, they don't care." He replies.
Apparently the look I give him is one of doubt.
"I'm always right." He states sarcastically with a toothy grin. "So if I say you--despite being a pain in the ass--are beautiful, then there's no arguing about it." He adds and I try not to make my overjoyed smile obvious, instead leaning down, pressing my lips to his.
1987
"Another vehicle, Nikki, are you kidding me?!" I scream as he simultaneously says, "don't fucking start, Viv!"
He can't be serious.
"Do you not remember that notice we got about the $5,000 a day in heroin being spent, Nikki, or did that just fly over your head? We have bills, we have have things that we need to prioritize and what do you do?! Buy another car!"
He just ignores me, grabbing a paper bag from the fridge.
I give up on fighting, tears of frustration rolling down my cheeks as I grab my car keys to just get the hell out of here.
He had gotten a brand new Mercedes Benz after I had asked him to wait until we got more money from the album and the tour. He decided we had enough money and went for it.
I angrily wrap packing tape around the cardboard box packed full of Steven's things, seeing him flinch each time the tape let out a squeak from me manhandling it.
"You good, Viv?" He asks me cautiously and I glare at him.
"I married a junkie who's mission is to damn near give me a heart attack anyway he possibly can whether it's with his drug abuse or simply spending money we don't necessarily have." I state. "So, no, Stevie. I could be better."
"Oh...I'm sorry." He mumbles.
"It's called D-I-V-O-R-C-E. They're perfect in situations such as your's and could really benefit you and him." Izzy sarcastically let's out, raising his brows and I slowly turn to look at him with a death glare. "Or suffer, that's a good option, too." He shrugs.
"We don't want that." I state as Duff comes in the living room from the kitchen.
"Not what I've heard." Izzy scoffs back. "Sixx talks when he's smacked out."
"And what exactly does 'Sixx' say?" I ask, raising my brows.
I can feel Steven making motions to Izzy from behind me, and I turn to look at him only to see him pretending to rub the bottom of his jaw with his knuckles.
It's obvious he was just running his hand against his neck in a "stop" motion to Izzy.
"Uh, n-nothing." Duff puts in as an unsettling tension settles in, like the three of them are on a level of understanding that I'm not aware of.
"Guys, seriously, what does he say?" I ask.
"It's not really what he says as much as what he does." Izzy let's out carefully and Duff glares at him.
"What does he do?"
"Cries." Duff states.
"Yeah." Steven adds.
"Like a little bitch." Izzy sighs.
I look at them for a moment before deciding to not ask anything else.
"Okay, Steven, here." I finish taping his box of stuff.
"Thanks, Viv." He replies, picking the box up, and suddenly every nude magazine he owns is spilling onto the floor from the bottom of the box.
"Aw, dude, that wasn't suppose to happen." Steven states and I hand the tape to Duff when he offers to retape it, before plopping down beside Izzy.
The difference in Fred, Mick, Duff, Steven, Izzy, Slash and Axl keeping the Vanity situation from me, and Tommy, Vince, Doc, and Tansy, keeping it from me was that Vince, Doc, Tommy and Tansy were protecting Nikki.
Everyone else thought they were protecting me, instead they would constantly down Nikki about it, trying to get him to stop his shit.
It would have been nice for someone to tell me instead of having me looking like an absolute dumbass in front of God and everyone.
But I can see why they would think I couldn't handle that information at that time.
"Baby, c'mon, Tommy and I leave in a couple hours." Nikki pleads with me over the phone.
"Okay, so just days ago I was a 'psycho cunt' and you bought a brand new car a couple days ago just to spite me, and now I'm 'baby' again?" I question him.
"We fucked last night, Viv." He states and I sigh.
"We have sex because we're horny, Nikki, not because either of us are sorry for whatever we fight about." I point out and he groans.
"Just get down here and tell me 'bye', please?" He asks and I let out a breath.
"Fine, I'll be down there in a few minutes." I tell him, rolling my eyes.
How Nikki's logic worked:
Sex = apology.
I had accepted that, but a few months into '87, I realized sex didn't fix anything. It just swept it under the rug and allowed the both of us to pretend nothing was wrong.
The rug was starting to have so much dirt swept under it, it wasn't even laying flat on the floor anymore.
I shut the door of my car, Nikki waiting for me outside in his sunglasses, despite it being night out, his cocky smirk plastered on his lips at the fact that I came when he snapped his fingers, like always.
He holds a cassette out to me and I raise a brow, unamused.
"An apology for being an asshole." He tells me.
On the label reads "You're All I Need."
"Remember that song I wanted to write for you?" He asks and I nod, not necessarily knowing how to feel.
"I'll see you when you get back." I let out, giving a tight smile, opening my car door but he shuts it quickly, turning me to face him.
"That's it? No 'thank you', no 'goodbye' kiss, no nothing?" He questions me.
"I'm still upset over our fight Nikki."
"We always have bullshit fights, Viv. We say shit we don't mean all the time."
"Okay, but we're getting too comfortable saying hurtful things to each other, are we not?" I point out, and he sighs, shaking his head a little.
"We tried therapy, it didn't work, so. I don't know what to tell you."
"We went to a handful of sessions, Nikki, before you refused to go after Nona passed away." I remind him.
"Because we were both miserable in those sessions."
"Well, it's nearly one year later and we're still miserable." I state and he furrows his brows.
"Being married to me makes you miserable?" He hisses out.
"I didn't mean it like that, I just mean--"
"--Great, well, I'll see you in five days." He cuts me short, hurt over what I said, stepping to the door.
"That's not what I meant, Nikki." I follow after him and grasp at his wrist. "I meant the both of us are getting more and more unhappy."
"I'm fine." He pipes. "I'm sorry if you're antidepressant stopped working or something but I'm fantastic, Viv."
"You're fantastic?"
"Yep."
People who are doing "fantastic" don't self-medicate but okay.
"I'll do better." He says to me, smiling down at me reassuringly. "Alright?"
I nod, and he looks me up and down for a moment before catching my lips with his.
His Jack flavored tongue meets mine, eliciting a soft hum from me as his hands hold at my waist, my fingers lacing in his hair.
We take a few steps back and I feel my legs hit the front of my Corvette. I drop the tape to push his jacket off his shoulders when he nudges for me to sit back on the hood of my car, already knowing where this is going.
His lips trail down my neck, his teeth nipping at my hardened nipples through my dress, causing me to giggle and moan simultaneously, my fingers running through his teased hair.
He stands up straight to unbuckle his belt, the sight of his prick desperate to get out of his pants has a wave of pleasure sweeping up my back, my hand pulling my dress up to run over the soft fabric of my panties, the toe of my heel gently traveling up the inside of his leather covered thigh.
He stops me just before I can trace over the bulge in his pants, his hand gripping my ankle, his fingers of his other hand untying the lace of his pants.
I sit up, reaching my hand out to free his cock, but he grabs at my jaw, forcing me to look at him.
"No, no." He wags his finger at me with a slick smile and my mouth waters when he pulls himself from his pants, precum already beading at his tip.
He sees me eyeing it, purposely wrapping his fist around his shaft to jerk of a couple of times, causing even more of the liquid to leak from him.
"Go ahead have a taste because every last drop is going in that pretty pussy so you remember who's you are while I'm gone."
My core tenses up, evidence of my arousal wetting my panties at his words and I don't hesitate to swipe my thumb across his tip, enjoying his jaw tensing at the contact, before making a show of sucking my thumb into my mouth to lick it off.
He stares at me and I blink up at him, taking my thumb from my mouth, waiting for him to make the next move.
And oh, does he.
He's impatiently pushing my dress to my hips and yanking my panties off, holding at one of my legs as his fingers trail between my legs to my clit.
I let out a harsh breath when he lightly runs the pad of his thumb over the sensitive nerves, watching my face.
I have to bite my lip in order to keep from cursing at him teasing me, and he licks his lips before taking his dick in his hand, rubbing the head against my clit, watching as my eyes close and a whimper leaves my lips.
I feel my pulse in my core, and the ache of utter need has me giving him my best "fuck me" eyes I can muster up.
"Does my little slut wanna be fucked?" He asks and I nod, looking at him with my eyes half-open.
I shudder when he drags his tip to my hungry cunt, slowly, agonizingly, sliding into me.
My back arches as he gives me the time to feel his girth stretching me, and he grins, his head falling back, his hands pushing my thighs against the hood of the car.
"I will never get over how fucking tight you are." He tells me in an almost moan, pulling back out again and slowly sliding back in, time looking down to see himself thrusting in and out of me.
"So good." I let out softly, my hands pinching at my nipples through my dress and he starts to pick up the pace, causing me to gasp and moan with every thrust as he goes deep into me, hitting my cervix.
I remember where we're at and I put my hand over my mouth to keep from drawing attention from the street incase anyone can hear me.
Nikki doesn't like that.
"Keep your fucking hand down." He orders, pulling my hand from my mouth. "I want them to know you're getting fucked, I want them to know who's fucking cock you're taking inch for fucking inch." He states, and I moan quietly at his words, still not wanting to draw attention.
My walls tighten and loosen around him as he continues to drive into me, my sounds of pleasure getting louder and louder with my loss of control and Nikki's determination.
His fingers quickly go back and fort against my clit, causing me to let out an unexpected cry, my hand holding at his wrist to try to get him to stop but he won't.
"Good girl." He praises me for not trying to hide my pleasure, grunting at the feeling of my pussy tightening around him.
The wet sound of him moving in and out of me mixed with my cries and he cursing fills my ears.
"Harder, Nikki, please." I beg, a masochistic part of me not wanting to walk right for a couple days.
I don't have to ask twice, his hand's around my throat, his fingers roughly stimulating my clit while his prick mercilessly starts pounding into my weeping cunt, only causing me to moan the best that I can with him choking me.
The two of us look at each other in pure ecstacy and I smugly grin before opening my mouth, sticking my tongue out.
His hand grasps at my throat a little tighter as he leans forward and spits in my mouth, only letting his grip loosen briefly so I can swallow it.
Our bodies are now drenched in sweat and I'm growing closer and closer, squeezing around him so tightly I think he's having to force himself not to finish before I do.
I'm probably looking up at him like he's a god, mesmerized by the sheen of sweat covering his chest, his thumb of his hand around my throat softly swiping the skin of my neck, sweetly contradicting his roughness.
"Oh, daddy, I'm gonna come." I gasp out. It's been a while since I've called him that in bed and it's only motivating him to go harder. "Fuck!" I mewl, squeezing my eyes shut as I tighten around him even more before my orgasm hits and my pussy's spasming in hopes of getting every last bit of his load.
He groans from the sensation before I feel him push back into me, forcing himself against my cervix, hot cum coating the inside of me.
"What the fuck?!" Tommy screams in a high pitch, and Nikki and I startle, looking in the direction of the door to see Tommy and Vince standing there, just walking out, but being met with Nikki inside me, with his hand around my throat and me moaning.
I'm horrified, Tommy's traumatized, Vince is probably wishing he had his camera, and Nikki's...well...
"Hahaha!" Nikki let's out, pulling my dress down my legs so I don't flash Tommy or Vince. "Sorry." He says next, tucking himself back into his pants, picking his jacket up off the ground as I scramble to get off the car, wincing at the feeling Nikki's cum about to start running out of me.
My face is bright red and Tommy looks like he's about to cry.
"I came out here to tell you 'bye' and-and..." he can't finish speaking, disgust on his face.
"Nikki was telling you 'bye', too." Vince laughs out and I glare at him.
"I'm sorry we fool around, T-bone, jeez." Nikki chuckles.
"'Fooling around' is a blowjob. This," he grabs his own throat and pulls his own hair. "Is something I don't want to see Viv in."
"She's the one who's into it." Nikki argues and my eyes bug as I feel even more embarrassed.
"Nikki, what the hell?!" I ask him as Tommy looks even more worried.
"Aww, man, this is great." Vince sighs out, grinning.
"Viv, I love you, I'll see you in a few days." Tommy let's out, avoiding eye contact with me.
I don't want to face him at the moment either.
"Love you, Tommy, bye." I reply as he heads to their car that just pulled up.
I grab the tape from the ground and my panties, and Nikki takes the skimpy undergarment from my hand and puts it in his jacket pocket.
I just look at him.
"What?" He asks. "It's a token of your affection to remind me of you when I miss you on those cold, lonely nights."
"You'll be gone less than a week, Nikki."
"You want me to think of you or not?" He points out and I can't hide my smile, chuckling at his bullshit.
His eyes shift to the tape in my hand, and his face falls for a second as if he regrets giving it to me.
"Everything alright?"
"Yeah, um...just...don't take lyrics too seriously." He tells me and I raise my brows.
"What?"
The car honks the horn and he looks at them as Tommy's standing out of the sunroof.
"Dude, c'mon, we're gonna miss the flight!" He tells Nikki.
Nikki turns back to me, giving me a little smile, kissing me sweetly.
"I'll call you when we get to the hotel." He assures me, kissing me again.
"Okay, be careful." I say.
"I'm sorry, Viv, alright?" He says next, and I think he's apologizing for the "Wild Side" ordeal and buying a new car we could barely afford.
I'm about to say "I am, too" but he cuts me off, kissing me yet again.
"See ya, Sixx." He whispers, smirking to me.
"See ya, Sixx." I reply in the same tone.
With one last kiss, he's telling Vince 'bye' and making his way to the car.
I rub my lips together, noticing Vince has this amused look on his face as I step to my car.
"What, Vince?" I ask.
"Nothing. Enjoy the song." He tells me before walking to his bike.
I go home, clean myself up, change and head to the Franklin Plaza where Duff, Axl, Izzy, Slash and Steven are staying currently.
The second Steven opens the door, I'm waving the tape.
"He doesn't hate me!" I exclaim, handing the tape to Axl--who bet $50 that Nikki and I would divorce this year--as he's smoking his cigarette.
"'You're All I Need'." He reads the title, looking at Duff and Izzy who're on one of the suits' couches. "What, is it an ode to heroin?" He asks and I cut my eyes at him.
"Seriously, man?" Slash questions him, unamused.
"No, Axl, it's not." I state.
"Well, let's listen to it." Stevie excitedly says.
Soon enough we have it playing, hearing a beautiful piano ballad backed with Mick's guitar, Nikki's bass and Tommy's drums.
"The blade of my knife
Faced away from your heart
Those last few nights
It turned and sliced you apart
This love that I tell
Now feels lonely as hell
From this padded prison cell"
The lyrics of the first verse sound as with each passing second, everyone's looking more and more confused, glancing at each other while I try to make sense of whatever metaphor he's using.
"So many times I said
You'd only be mine
I gave my blood and my tears
And loved you cyanide
When you took my lips
I took your breath
Sometimes love's better off dead"
He can't be saying what it sounds like he's saying.
"You're all I need make you only mine
I love you so I set you free
I had to take your life
You're all I need, you're all I need
And I loved you but you didn't love me."
"Umm...Viv...I don't think this is about how much he loves you." Izzy speaks out.
"Laid out cold
Now we're both alone
But killing you helped me keep you home."
"I-Is he singing about killing me?!" I ask, nearly at a loss for words.
"I guess it was bad
Cause love can be sad
But we finally make the news."
"This bastard is singing about killing me!"
"Dude, didn't he actually try to kill you?" Steven asks me and I raise my brows.
"Tied up smiling
I thought you were happy
Never opened you--"
Duff stops the tape, snatching it from the player before tossing it on the floor and stomping it to pieces with his cowboy boot.
There's a long, long silence between all of us, and I force myself not to cry in front of all of them.
"I guess that fifty bucks is still on the table, then?" Axl shatters the silence.
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foreveralwaysanauthor ¡ 4 years ago
Text
Shades of Your Soul
April 27th, 2021
Prompt - Write about a world where people have different soulmates for different kinds of love.
Characters - Lela, Butchy, Mack, Mick, Miles, and Tanner
Notes - This is Lela-centric, but I like writing her and I adore the idea of this, honestly, so I figured why not try combining the two. I might do this as a mini-series since I really enjoyed working on this yesterday. I hope you enjoy it!
Each italicized word at the beginning of a segment *like this* is a Greek word for a different kind of love. Their definitions are next to them so you don't have to look them up yourself.
Storge - Strongest Familial Love
Most, if not all, kids Lela’s age had at least one colored name on their wrist. For most, it was the simplest, easiest color in the rainbow to get - green. Green was the color of familial love, usually a color you’d get from your parents or siblings. Lela remembered being loved by her mom and dad but the five-year-old still had no name on the inside of her wrist. Once she started school, her curiosity on the topic grew stronger; she was the only child in her year, with both parents in the picture, without a name where the green stripe should be. One evening after school, she had talked to her parents about it, wondering why on earth she could feel the love from her parents, but still had nothing to show from it. Their explanation was simple enough - it just meant that someone loved her even more than they did.
For the nearly six-year-old little girl, it was hard to understand. Her mommy and daddy loved her more than anybody ever could. She loved them loads and couldn’t think of anybody else that could possibly give her more love. Then, one day, while Lela was on her way to her older brother’s side of the elementary school, she was pulled aside by a group of kids from her class. She had been teased by them before about her colorless arm, but she tried her best to not let it affect her. Her big brother had always told her that she was special and, of course, she never had a reason not to believe him. After all, he had only just gotten his green stripe the year before when their mommy was in the hospital and their Uncle Antonio took them to stay with him and his family for a few weeks.
Try as she might, Lela couldn’t contain her tears as one of the boys said, “Look, nobody loves her, not even her momma!”
The boy’s words cut deep. Even though Lela knew her mom and dad loved her more than anything and told the boy as much, nothing seemed to be enough to stop them from their cruelty. The burning in Lela’s pale blue eyes was hard to ignore as the group continued to tease her for something she couldn’t control, so she wrenched them shut and pushed her palms over her ears, hoping to block out their incessant remarks. Then, almost out of nowhere, a slightly deeper, louder voice cut through the kindergarten group’s comments, making them quiet down almost instantly.
“Leave my sister alone!” the voice commanded. Lela quickly looked up, seeing her older brother running toward them from the fourth-grade wing of the school with a look of pure rage on his face. The group of five and six-year-olds quickly scurried off, their backpacks thumping heavily against their backs as they rushed toward the kindergarten pick-up area, leaving the angry nine-year-old and his baby sister in the hallway alone.
Her brother sighed quietly and knelt next to Lela, pulling her into a hug. “Are you okay, sissy?” he asked softly, pushing some of Lela’s hair out of her face and pushing her headband back into place.
Lela shook her head and buried her face in the crook of her brother’s neck, squeezing her arms around him as far as she could reach. “I was scared,” she mumbled softly into his hoodie.
“I know,” the nine-year-old whispered back as he pulled Lela to her feet. “Sorry I didn’t get here faster.”
“It’s ok,” Lela said, smiling weakly up at her brother. Her brother didn’t need to worry about her so much - she was a big girl, after all. “You’re here now.”
The shaggy-haired nine-year-old grinned back at the younger girl, placing a hand on her head and ruffling her hair as he stood again, taking the little girl’s hand in his own as he led Lela into the fourth-grade hall. “Yeah, and I’m not leaving anytime soon.”
It wasn’t until they were sitting on the bus ride home, playing Go Fish with the deck of cards her brother always brought to keep her busy on long rides, that the nine-year-old pointed out something on Lela’s left wrist. Three words in brilliant green; a name Lela knew all too well, written in an, obviously amateur-ish, cursive font that Lela had only seen a few times on her brother’s homework.
Biagio Maccio Bandoni
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Mania - Obsessive, Fixed Adoration
Lela’s next color came when she was eleven. Her older brother had taken her to the Gator Bowl to see his new favorite singer, a man named Elvis Presley. Butchy had heard some of the man’s songs from some guys at school and just had to see him live. The only condition their parents had, was that he took Lela. Of course, the pair had no problem with that, Butchy loved his little sister and Lela loved him.
The event took place outdoors, something Lela was grateful for, and they were able to sneak in toward the back of the crowd without gaining much attention from the security guards. Once they found a place to stand, Lela was hoisted up on her brother’s shoulders so she could see better. Butchy had grown much taller over the last six years, standing at just a hair under six feet tall. The tall boy was fairly strong as well, having joined the football team at the first chance he got and working tirelessly on any vehicle he could get his hands on for as long as Lela could remember.
From her seat on her brother’s shoulders, Lela had a nearly perfect view of the stage. The show began with some band Lela had never heard of but still enjoyed. After almost an hour of that band being on stage, she felt her brother tap her calf, gaining her attention. She looked down and locked eyes with her brother, but he only smiled brilliantly up at her and pointed toward the side of the stage. Lela couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary as the band on stage continued to play, but then, as she squinted to see better, she locked eyes with a man. He was tall, maybe as tall as Butchy, hair was slicked to perfection with a single lock dangling over his forehead, and his eyes… oh, those eyes.
Lela could drown in them.
Lela beamed as the man smiled at her, releasing her grip on one of Butchy’s hands to give him a little wave. Not long after, the man Lela had locked eyes with had taken the stage, much to the excitement of the crowd. As soon as Lela heard Butchy holler excitedly with the people around them, she joined in, cupping her hands around her mouth and screeching happily. After the audience quieted, the man smiled and took his place in front of the microphone with his guitar, singing a song Lela had heard her brother singing softly while doing his homework - Heartbreak Hotel.
The man must have been Elvis himself! Lela could now see why her brother loved his music so much. His voice was magical! The man danced as he sang and played his song, making all the women toward the front of the audience scream excitedly. Elvis performed longer than the previous band had - not that Lela was complaining in the slightest - but when his show came to an end, Butchy lowered Lela to the ground and the pair took their leave, sneaking out the same way they’d gotten in.
As the pair made their way home, they sang some of the songs Elvis had performed at the concert. When they neared their house, Lela asked Butchy if she could borrow one of his albums so she could hear more of Elvis Presley’s music. Butchy, delighted with the fact that his baby sister was so interested in his favorite singer, readily agreed, offering to bring her some in the morning so they wouldn’t get in trouble for blasting music late at night.
Lela didn’t notice the orange writing on her arm. The first person to take notice of the bright orange was the man who’d incidentally caused the orange handwriting to appear, her older brother. On Lela’s wrist, about two inches above the green scrawl of her brother’s name was a hastily written, sort of shaky signature as though the person was simply signing something for a fan.
Elvis Aaron Presley
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Philia - Platonic, Trusting, Soulful Connection
When Lela is barely fifteen, she receives a third color: yellow. For once, she had noticed the writing before anybody else and she couldn’t have been happier with the name she’d received. How it was even possible, she wasn’t sure, but she wasn’t going to complain in the slightest.
Lela had been hanging out at Big Momma’s with her brother and their friends when she first saw this person. The two of them had instantly hit it off when they were introduced and, when she invited her to one of the biker girl sleepovers, she stood out like a sore thumb. The older girl was very different, asking things that Lela and her friends had never asked before. She had even suggested that they ask boys out instead of the other way around! The taller girl was unlike anything Lela had ever encountered before. Lela liked that.
The next day, Lela invited Mack to her home for the night, just wanting to spend time getting to know the new girl in town. That night, they danced around Lela’s room to Elvis, painted each other’s nails, and told each other things that they had never and would never tell anybody else. In a matter of days, Lela had formed a tightly woven bond with the girl, trusting the girl with her deepest secrets and vice versa. She couldn’t wait to see how their friendship would blossom over time and it seemed as though her new friend felt the same way.
That night, whilst Lela was helping roll the girl’s hair into curlers, Lela noticed a bright, daffodil yellow on her wrist. Lela nearly started jumping for joy; this girl that she’d known for barely two days, was her platonic soulmate. She had to be, the girl was the only other person around. She would be the one to be there for Lela no matter what happened in their lives and they’d spend every day with each other if Lela had anything to say about it. Lela hadn’t noticed the look of confusion on the other girl’s face at the time, but it didn’t matter as her expression changed quickly when Lela had wrapped her in a tight hug.
Then, the very next day, Lela had to say goodbye to the girl she had already mentally made millions of plans with. She hated goodbyes, but according to the girl and her blonde companion, it needed to happen. So, Lela gave her a parting gift, a necklace with a Hawaiian flower hanging from its pearls. With a hug and some shed tears, the girl and her friend disappeared under the waves of the ocean. Lela didn’t even notice that the girl’s wrist only had red, green, and blue signatures.
The girl’s name, according to the signature on Lela’s arm. was McKenzie Fox, but Lela knew her as Mack.
As time went by, Mack’s name on Lela’s arm faded from a bright daffodil to a pale, buttery shade of yellow.
What felt like only two years passed before Lela’s yellow signature began to turn a slightly brighter shade once more, but Lela paid it no mind. She later found out that her platonic soulmate had grown older and had a child, a young girl with a nickname only one letter off from her mother’s. Lela grew closer to the young girl, finding out that Mack had married her companion, Brady, and, later, gave birth to the now fifteen-year-old girl. She had missed growing up with her best friend, watching her get married and have kids.
Of course, Lela was disappointed, but she had no choice in the matter now. Everything that had happened with Mack, had happened without Lela. Surely, if Mack made it this far, she didn’t need Lela in her life. Instead of dwelling on what could have been, Lela took it upon herself to be there for Mack’s daughter, no matter how long or short Lela would be with her. As time went by, Lela did get the opportunity to see Mack again. Their reunion was peaceful, much needed, and Mack caught Lela up on the events of her life for hours. Lela wasn’t sure what hurt more - the lengthy life stories that Lela couldn’t share, or the fact that the girl she was supposed to stick by through everything, now had a child the same age as Lela herself.
The more time Lela spent with Mack’s daughter, the closer they got. She started to grow with the girl, celebrating birthdays and, eventually, the girl’s engagement to Lela’s older brother, Butchy. It wasn’t until Lela was sat across from the girl, chatting over some milkshakes, that she noticed her signature on the inside of the girl’s wrist in a brilliant, golden yellow. Lela quickly asked the girl if she had noticed it herself, to which the young woman answered that she’d had it for as long as she could remember and asked Lela, in return, how she never noticed the signature on her own arm. Lela quickly moved the bracelets on her wrist to see for herself and, sure enough, there, in a beaming, golden yellow, was her platonic soulmate’s name.
Makana Kaya Birch
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Pragma - Loyal, Dedicated, Protective Love
Lela’s fourth color came sometime after Mack had left and before Makana - or Mick, as Lela always called her - had arrived. It started when her brother had brought home a boy he’d met at Big Momma’s. Butchy said something about the boy being eighteen and that he’d just moved to town, but Lela was just happy to make a new friend. The boy was taller than Lela - which wasn’t exactly difficult in the first place - but many inches shorter than Butchy’s now six-foot-three height. He was timid at first and kept mostly to himself, but it quickly became obvious to Lela that the boy was very protective of those he was closest to.
One day, while she was playing with some friends on the beach, the older boy came and sat nearby, reading a book and occasionally watching the group play volleyball. Lela noticed, however, that whenever the ball would get anywhere near her, the older boy would put the book down, almost like he was ready to jump into action. He later told her that he just wanted to make sure he was there in case she got hurt or needed help.
Not long after Butchy had invited the guy into their home, he had taken to helping Lela and some of the other teenagers in town with their schoolwork. Lela had even noticed that he was slowly becoming her personal bodyguard. Every day, he would either walk her to school or offer her a ride, making sure she got there safely either way. Slowly, but surely, a couple of the other girls - and some of the boys, occasionally - would walk with them to school or Big Momma’s, either as a safety precaution or just to be with friends.
It wasn’t until something happened to Lela that the blue name on her wrist appeared.
It had been almost eight months since he had moved in with them, but it felt like only a few weeks to Lela. The boy had adjusted to life with them so quickly that time just seemed to fly by. Their everyday routine was so natural that she was worried when he didn’t bother to leave his room for breakfast. Upon poking her head into his room, Lela noticed that the older boy was sick and was too weak to get out from under the cover, let alone walk her to school. He had most likely caught something from one of the men at work but insisted that he could try getting a hold of Lugnut to give her a ride. Lela refused and said she’d be walking with Giggles, even though Giggles herself had told her over the phone the night before that she wouldn’t be there.
After giving him some medicine and calling his work for him, Lela had some breakfast and bid the older boy goodbye even though he was sleeping before making her way to school. Along the way, however, she ran into a group of bikers from a rival gang her brother had raced against a few times. Of course, Butchy’s Rodents didn’t care about winning or losing as, to them, the races were all in good fun, but that mindset didn’t seem to go both ways. The leader of the group - a girl Lela could never remember the name of, but recognized due to the girl’s long, pure white hair - approached Lela and asked her where her brother was.
“I don’t know,” Lela answered honestly. “Probably hanging out at the beach with the rest of our crew. I would start there if I were you.”
The group chuckled as though they knew something Lela didn’t, but Lela brushed them off, moving around the white-haired woman so she could continue her trek to school. She didn’t get far, however, as the woman gave a short whistle, commanding two of the men from her group to grab Lela and sit her on some rocks nearby.
“Oh, darling,” the woman began, smiling eerily down at Lela as the two men prevented her from moving. “We’re not done here.”
A few minutes of impromptu interrogation went by with Lela insisting she had no clue where her brother was, which was true. He had left before Lela had gotten out of the shower that morning and left her with nothing but a packed lunch and a note wishing her a good day. The white-haired woman, however, wasn’t taking Lela’s truthful ignorance for what it was and kept pestering the sixteen-year-old for information. At first, Lela felt she had no reason to fear the gang as they had never tried anything before, but that opinion changed when the woman - Lela was pretty sure the man on her left had called the woman Crystal, but she couldn’t be sure - got sick of Lela’s ‘tight-lipped attitude’ and gave another series of whistles, signaling the man on Lela’s right to press the cold blade of his pocket knife against Lela’s throat.
A million thoughts ran through the sixteen-year-old’s head as she tried to find a way out of the situation. Every time Lela tried to move or say something, the man’s grip would only get tighter on Lela’s hair and she would be reminded of the cold blade against her neck. The only thing that came to the forefront of her mind at that moment was the fact that she should’ve stayed home to take care of her sick housemate and friend. If she had, she’d be safe. If she had, none of this would’ve happened. If she had-
Lela’s thought process - and the group’s knifepoint interrogation - was quickly interrupted as a loud engine roared up the road toward them. One of the men alerted the woman - Lela was now sure her name was Crystal- about the motorcycle coming their way and Lela felt a surge of hope as the shiny, cherry red vehicle came closer to them. The man on Lela’s right quickly flipped his blade shut and tucked it into the sleeve of his leather jacket while the man on her left let go of her hair and resorted to gripping Lela’s shoulder hard enough that the girl was sure it would bruise. The red motorcycle revved loudly as the person driving pulled to the side of the road, just a few feet from them.
The rider of the bike quickly dismounted and hurried over to them, whipping off their helmet in the process and, when she saw who it was, Lela couldn’t contain her smile. The taller biker shoved his way to Lela, taking her by the hand and helping her off the ground. When the man that had been holding her arm began to protest, grasping Lela’s wrist and insisting that the motorcyclist had nothing to do with the situation, the biker reeled back and punched the man, knocking him to the ground.
“You took my little sister hostage,” the teenage biker stated angrily. “I have everything to do with this,” the boy growled down at the older gang member. He made his way back to the bike with Lela, making sure she was on the motorcycle comfortably before placing his helmet on her and securing it before swinging his leg over the motorcycle and pulling away from the curb.
The ride was silent, not that Lela would have heard him much over the wind, but when they arrived at their house, there was nothing Lela could do to shut him up. He repeatedly asked her if she was alright, checking her for bruises as he went, and the sixteen-year-old was sure that he nearly had a heart attack when he found a thin, yet long slice across her throat where the man had held his blade to her. When they finally made it inside, he made Lela sit down while he called Butchy’s work and informed him of what happened, asking the older boy what he should do to take care of her. Lela watched him patiently as he hung up the phone and approached her. He checked her over once more, giving her a small smile when she assured him that she was fine, just a little shaken up.
It was only when she reached up, over his shoulders to hug him, that she realized that she had delicately written, loopy handwriting on her wrist in a brilliant, cerulean blue. The first letter of each name was fairly bigger than the rest, but all three names were perfectly legible and Lela almost couldn’t believe that the clean, well-rehearsed writing belonged to the boy she now lived with. After all, she’d seen drop more plates and accidentally break things many times and the handwriting on her arm was so steady, she almost thought she’d read the wrong name. But, after asking the boy if that was his handwriting and getting another tight hug in return, she was glad to know that the boy she looked to as another brother, would protect her for as long as they lived.
Miles Andrew Murphy
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Agape - True, Unconditional Love
She was only a few months into being sixteen when she found her true love. Well, technically, she’d known him for years. He had defended her from bullies in kindergarten before Butchy’s name appeared on her arm. He was caring, friendly with everyone, and, occasionally, smart. Lela had seen him in the high school halls now and then, but never saw him in class. She was a Junior, after all - a year younger than his, soon-to-be-graduating Senior - and most of the combined classes their school had, were Freshman-Junior and Sophomore-Senior.
Most of the interactions Lela had with her soulmate had been at Big Momma’s. He was a surfer - he was “leader of the pack” if Lela were to ask any of his friends - and, if her biker friends were to find out she liked him in the slightest, there would be absolute pandemonium and Lela knew that. One day, however, she had the opportunity to spend one-on-one time with him and soulmark got to know him better. They talked for hours about the similarities and differences between their two groups, giving each other an inside opinion on the little feud between the groups.
He was unlike anybody she’d ever met before.
While they were talking about their families and how they felt about each other’s friend groups, Lela noticed a red mark on the boy’s arm and felt her heart sink. He had found his true love. Upon asking him what his soulmate was like, Lela found that it was her name on the inside of his left wrist. Before they had the opportunity to properly talk about the situation at hand, a group of surfers came and started chatting with the blonde boy. They talked for a while about everything from the tide to the fish Big Momma was cooking for the special of the night before Lela’s soulmate was whisked away. All the while, Lela hid under the edge of the pier that she and the boy had been sat on before the group of surfers had come over.
Once the group of surfers disappeared into Big Momma’s, Lela moved from her hiding spot and pulled herself back onto the pier, finding an old candy wrapper sticking out from between two of the wooden planks on the edge of the pier. Even though she was now soaked from having to hop in the ocean to hide from the surfers, she wasn’t about to let someone litter the ocean. Lela pulled the wrapper free to throw it away but found writing on the inside of the torn plastic and decided to read it before tossing it in the trash. Thick words, scrawled in what smelled like a permanent marker, was a note with her name at the beginning.
“Lela, there’s a big surfer shindig tomorrow night at 7. If I see you there, I’ll buy you that strawberry soda you were telling me about. I hope we can hang out again soon ☺ -your soulmate”
Needless to say, Lela kept the candy wrapper, reading over it again and again on her walk home.
The raven-haired girl had to walk home in her now sopping wet dress, but that was fine since everybody else was either at Big Momma’s or work, Butchy and Miles included. That just meant that nobody else would see her smiling at a candy wrapper on her walk home. Lela kept that wrapper from her soulmate well hidden, tucking it in the top drawer of her dresser alongside her diary. After all, she couldn’t let Butchy - or anybody else in the Rodent crew, for that matter - know her soulmate was a surfer.
A week went by and then another. With every shindig, Lela and Tanner were able to sneak off and spend time getting closer to each other and getting to know more about the other person. However, Lela’s little secret couldn’t last forever and, after three weeks, it came to a head. One Friday night, when Lela was getting herself ready to make an appearance at yet another shindig, she was called down to the living room by Butchy and Miles. When she got there, Miles looked up to her from his spot on the couch with an apologetic stare while Butchy merely sat with his elbows on his knees, staring ahead, looking deep in thought.
“What’s going on?” she asked softly, mindlessly playing with the ribbon bracelet she had chosen to hide her red soulmark from her friends and family. When neither boy responded, Lela addressed Miles directly, “Miles, what’s wrong?”
Miles rose from the couch, taking Lela’s hand in his as she stood in front of him. “I’m sorry,” the taller boy whispered to her, looking distraught as he swiftly untied the golden ribbon from around her wrist and kept it grasped in his fist.
Lela watched him owlishly, wondering how he had found out about the mark she had gone through great lengths to hide. When Butchy rose from his seat, Lela had, for the first time in her life, felt the instinct to hide from him. He looked upset and Lela hated it when he looked like that, especially toward her. By the time the now twenty-year-old was in front of her, Lela felt like shrinking into herself. Butchy gently took Lela’s hand from Miles as the nineteen-year-old took a step back from the siblings and wrapped his arms around himself. The oldest biker looked down at Lela’s wrist, reading the red name before meeting his little sister’s eyes again.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked gently. Lela shook her head, staring down at the floor as wave after wave of guilt hit her. She could feel tears burning her eyes and wanted to keep them to herself, but Lela knew she could only hold them in for so long. “We could’ve talked about it. Did I do something to make you think I would be mad about this? Tell me how I can fix this.”
“You did nothing wrong,” Lela started with a firm shake of her head, pulling her gaze from the carpet to meet her brother’s gaze once again. “It’s just… It’s just that you guys fight with the surfers all the time and I didn’t want him to get hurt. He’s my soulmate and I love him.”
“Oh, sissy,” Butchy sighed as he wiped the tears from his sister’s face, pulling the girl into a hug. “If I had known Tanner was your soulmate, I would’ve done everything in my power to end the rivalry with them. You can’t control who your soulmates are, baby, we all know that.”
Once Lela had calmed down a bit, she joined Miles and Butchy on the couch, sitting between the two, older bikers. “How did you even find out?” she asked softly, leaning her head against Butchy’s shoulder.
“Miles saw it when you were helping him make dinner last night,” Butchy answered, glancing over Lela’s head to the nineteen-year-old who had wedged himself as close to the opposite armrest as humanly possible. “Said he didn’t want to tell me because he thought I might be mad and take it out on you.”
Lela moved away from her brother so she could look at her adoptive brother figure. “He’s never hurt me before, Miles.”
“I know,” Miles murmured, his icy blue eyes meeting Lela’s, “but I’ve seen families turn on each other because of soulmates - or lack thereof. I… I didn’t want you two to hate each other because of something you can’t control.”
Lela wrapped an arm around Miles’ waist, squeezing him tightly. She knew from the little that Miles had told her, that he had come from a broken-soul home - his mother had passed away when he was only eleven and his father had become cruel to him not long after her passing. It was only natural that, after coming from such a rough home, Miles would be concerned for her and Butchy’s relationship and what Butchy’s reaction would be when he found out that Lela’s soulmate was a surfer - their biker crew’s rival.
After an hour or so of talking things over, Butchy and Miles brought Lela to Big Momma’s, where the sixteen-year-old told her soulmate what had happened. Later that evening, they took to the stage and announced to all of their friends that they were each other’s soulmates. Their announcement was surprisingly well-received by all in attendance and the couple was met with more than a handful of hugs from their friends. Most of the girls from both groups had crowded around Lela, fawning over the cherry red signature that now graced the raven-haired girl’s arm.
Trenton Louis Jackson
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Philautia - Self Love, Acceptance of Self
When Lela decided to visit Mack and Brady in their world for the first time, she’d had no idea what to expect. She found herself in a world where women had more things to do than sewing and handling the household chores. She felt empowered to do more - be more - with her life than just sit around and do whatever every other girl was doing. Lela tried to change things when she returned home, make things better for her homeworld and the people she cared about.
Lela decided to start small, helping to bring the people who always stayed in the background to the front so they could be more present. She learned their names and communicated with them easily, listening to them sing on stage now and then and cheering when they were done. She easily befriended some of them, showing them that there was more to life than being stuck in the background of someone else’s story. It was small, but the change was significant.
Then, Lela helped her friends, showing the girls that there was more to life than looking pretty or sitting at home while the boys took charge of everything. The boys were a little harder to get through to - Lela didn’t outright say that they were thick-headed, but she was tempted to on more than one occasion. With some time and effort, she was able to get them to realize that they were in control of their fates and that their futures were up to them and them alone. A few of her friends decided to break the mold, hanging out with people from the opposite clique, spending time getting to know each other and the world around them. Slowly, but surely, some of the bikers and surfers began to see what was possible if they allowed themselves to be free from “the script” of their world and be who they were meant to be.
The hardest people to convince were those closest to her. For a reason that Lela couldn’t understand, Tanner, Miles, and Butchy had come to her with their concerns over all the changes she was making to their world, their friends, and - the most concerning factor to the three men - herself. Lela listened to what they had to say and had an answer for every question they fired her way. Their concerns wouldn’t sway her from becoming the woman Mack’s world had shown her she could be. After a long time - three months, to be exact - Lela had worn them down and they began to play with the idea of becoming a new person.
Lela had already changed significantly by that point and it was pretty obvious. She had traded in her baby pink biker get-up for a black and white jumper and a magenta-colored, studded jacket. Her red and white, polka dot dress was lurking in her closet somewhere, having been unused for nearly ten months at that point. The only thing she kept from her old style was a ring she refused to take off. It had been a gift that Mack had commissioned someone to make; the flower on it was an exact copy of the one Lela had given the brunette on a necklace.
Even though Lela’s intentions were purely for the betterment of herself and those around her, her changes to the world began to change more than the raven-haired girl ever bargained for. Some of the people that used to lurk in the backgrounds had either taken off or tried taking roles from Lela’s “main character” friends. Tanner began spending more time with his friends and only really spent time with Lela when it was right for her “script” for him to be there. Butchy and Miles had gotten jobs at car garages, doing repairs, and were only ever around when it was convenient for “the plot”. Lela slowly began to realize the changes to her friends and, at first, it didn’t bother her much. They were free to do what they liked, who was she to try controlling them? Lela only became more concerned when she noticed the colored markings on her arm began to fade, getting paler and paler until they were almost the same color as her natural skin tone. Her little “movie world” was changing so much that her soulmate marks were beginning to change as well.
It took Lela almost a month to decide to change things back to the way they were as she was so attached to the way things were, but, when she finally did, she knew Butchy, Tanner, and Miles would have her back. She talked it over with them and their friends, telling them that none of this was what she wanted, she only wanted everybody to be happy. Many of her friends, surfers and bikers alike, told her that they were happy as long as they were all together. A few hours of talking went by before they decided to try going back to the way things were, no matter how long it took.
So, they started slow, returning to Big Momma’s for parties and dates and dancing. They spent more time with their respective groups, integrating their friends from the background so they wouldn’t feel left out again. One day, nearly a month into this endeavor, as she was preparing to end the whole song and dance as Lela, Queen of the Beach, the raven-haired teenager tossed a ring with a flower on it into the ocean, hoping it would make it to Mack’s world and remind Mack of her. Mack was the only person outside of Lela’s world and the ring was the only thing of Mack’s that Lela had; it was her only chance. Then, she went back home, put on her old, pink biker outfit, and made her way down to Big Momma’s to start all over again, as Lela - sister of the lead biker, Butchy, romantic interest of the lead surfer boy, Tanner, and little sister figure of the protective biker, Miles.
A week went by without a hitch. Everybody seemed happy going to shindigs, playing “rivals” with each other, and just spending time with each other again. Now and then, Lela or Tanner would sing a song on stage that everybody in Big Momma’s knew was from Mack and Brady’s world, but nobody said a word. Everything was the way it should have always been.
One night, Lela walked home from a shindig with Butchy and Miles by her side. They walked and talked about the party and how glad they were that they were back to the way things were supposed to be. Lela had to admit, she had missed everything about their world. The fighting, the friendships, the bad guys, the teamwork, the dancing, the bonding of two rivaling groups… she’d missed it all. After giving it some thought that night, she found herself sitting in front of her vanity mirror, staring herself in the eye. Perhaps what she’d missed most was herself.
Although she still felt empowered to be a better version of herself and wanted to empower those around her to be a better version of themselves, she knew that the people around her could do so at their own pace and in their own time, if they wanted to. Lela took great comfort in the fact that everyone she loved was safe and happy. She was safe and happy. She had tried so hard to fix things and make them “her own” that she’d forgotten what made her, her. She’d tried so hard to become someone else and make herself “better” that she’d abandoned who she was entirely. The only way she would be able to grow would be if she learned from where she was now and spent time working on herself. But, as she thought about it, Lela acknowledged that she didn’t have much of a desire to change herself anymore. She was happy with herself the way she was. It made no sense to change anything about herself now.
With a deep sigh, Lela picked up her hairbrush and began stroking it through her freshly washed hair. She could hear Butchy and Miles downstairs, laughing at something or another. Last she knew, they were watching a movie - some Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn film, if Lela recalled correctly - and talking about something stupid that Lugnut had done to try to impress Struts. Lela smiled as she listened to the boys howl with laughter downstairs; their happiness was very contagious, Lela had to admit.
She continued to brush through her hair, humming to herself and occasionally giggling as the boys downstairs sang their own rendition of “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend” at the top of their lungs. ‘Gosh, our neighbors must hate us,’ she thought to herself as a loud crash boomed from downstairs followed by Miles laughing hysterically. Butchy must’ve tripped, fallen, or just done something stupid. Lela grabbed a curler from her vanity and wrapped her hair around it until she reached her scalp, securing the curler with a clip. Checking her hair in the mirror, Lela paused, glancing at her right wrist in confusion. She was used to seeing things on her left wrist as that was where her soulmarks were, but her right wrist was usually barren, bar from the occasional bracelet, of course.
She lowered her arms slowly, keeping her gaze firmly locked onto the pink on her arm. Maybe she’d gotten some marker ink on it from when she was coloring with Seacat’s little sister earlier in the day? Yeah… Yeah, that would explain it. Lela quickly rubbed at the mark before checking it again, finding it was still there. Upon closer inspection, however, she found that it wasn’t anything from a marker at all. There was no way she could’ve gotten her own signature on her right arm, after all - she was right-handed and her left hand had the writing ability of a two-year-old with a coloring book. On her inner wrist was a sweet signature in bright, almost neon, pink lettering with little hearts above the I’s and swirls forming each big letter.
It had taken her nearly seventeen years. Lela had loved everybody around her for nearly seventeen years. She showed her love and admiration for everyone she came into contact with in many ways. Her love for those around her knew no bounds, but love for herself had taken the longest time for Lela to give. It took almost losing those she loved most for her to realize that she needed to love herself in order to love those around her more. It took her nearly seventeen years, but those around her told her that it was about time.
She had learned to love herself, just the way she was.
Lela Caprice Bandoni
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nohysterlcs ¡ 5 years ago
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so, how many people have you let down? 
you think of your brother, of course, in little windows of memory--like the stack of photo albums your mother had left in the closet. ( you’d cried when you found those, too. )
you think of a hand-me-down guitar and a scraped-up bass, walks to the school bus and drive-way soccer. you’re tired of thinking of the funerals, and the things you don’t remember arguing about. you just miss him. 
alex, who you promised to protect, and failed on every count. alex, your baby brother that you outlived. you failed him, you failed your mother. what you know is you’re sorry, you’re always sorry, but he’ll never know that, because you never fucking said.
and you think of a pitchy voicemail, static and screams, and the monster she never tells you about. the monster that is your fault. the necklace that hadn’t protected her. and maybe if you had protected her--maybe if you had realized it was you that was the cursed thing--maybe she could have gotten far enough away. maybe if you had held her closer. maybe if you were stronger, or braver. but everything falls to the darkness on the edge of town, and you had forced yourself to let go of her, long before you heard the voicemail.
and you think of jessie, bloody and broken somewhere in that big empty house in the woods. you had spent days with a conversation you wish you’d said to her, staring at your ceiling so hard you might have burnt a hole through. and if the roof had fallen in and collapsed on itself, wouldn’t that have been better? instead you had screamed into your hands and left all the lights off. 
in nauseating clarity, you think of evan’s house, where you’d watched him play bioshock on his bedroom floor, where you’d worked on halloween costumes as kids. you think of the silence as the song ended, a million little things you could have done different. you think of how steph had been painted all over that room in red. and you think of steph because steph would have fought. steph would have died fighting. and you aren’t steph, and you won’t fight your best friend, even while the life is pried out of you at his hands. and steph, and jessie, and jessa and alex--they won’t see this. but vin will, every last friend out there that had ever tried to help them will. 
imagine not knowing how doomed you all were, from the very start. imagine not knowing, that no matter how hard you held onto one another, you had all died alone.
you don’t know what the worse conclusion is; that everything was for nothing, or that you had ever thought that all your research and all your unwillingness to fold were going to be enough. and you are precisely fucking aware of it, under the pressure of the shoe landing on your back--and pressing until you choke on a sob.  
all you taste is blood, feel it where it sticks in your hair and dries and cracks. punctured breath shakes out in a puff of cold vapor, and you’re not listening, anymore, to the manic, silk tone in your peripherals. every time you’re drawn back into consciousness, it’s in a bright, hot blaze of pain as something else is gutted from you. you hadn’t expected anything to be left.
working eye dimly watches evan’s shoes step around you; it’s not evan. you wish it was, or you wish evan would save you, or you wish you would die. 
...and still, you pick yourself up in slicks of your own blood, like there’s any chance in hell. there wouldn’t even be a point; your bones are heavy with the feeling you just can’t stand anymore. love, love love. you could not save anything with love. in its absence, you know a truth. that there is nothing left but prolonging the inevitable, in the big red letters: you’re dying, you’re dead. 
one more time, with feeling. this is the only shred of defiance left in you, held out like a soft animal in open hands; “it’s not your fault.” you don’t know how many times you’ve tried to say it, soft, jagged, gasped, through your glass teeth--throat is raw with it, but you can look up for just a moment. he said you would beg. and you do. because you’re weak.
“please.” it is a betrayal of the worst kind from your body. you don’t know what you’re asking for anymore, and the word is so brittle it’s barely audible. you don’t know if you want to be freed anymore; you don’t think any feather was spared the clipping. you say it again, and again, and you can’t stand the sound of your own voice.
it doesn’t matter, anyway, when you are finally dragged to the mouth of the woods. you are aware of the slow-down in your chest, and aware of the little flame in your peripherals. the burning school is you, and all your stupid research and your hope and your friends and your family. you are the falling beams and the decay and the kid trapped under it, and you are silent when you burn. 
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christiansfm ¡ 5 years ago
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            hi  everyone  it’s  ya  girl  kris  ,  and  i’ve  finally  arrived  to  get  the  plotting  going  !  i’m  23  ,  prefer  the  pronouns  she  /  they  ,  and  i’m  from  the  est  timezone  !  i’ve  truly  fallen  in  love  with  exo  within  the  last  few  months  thanks  to  having  nothing  else  to  do  ,  and  i  really  wanted  to  play  chanyeol  ,  so  here  i  am  ,  fulfilling  my  dreams  !  christian’s  a  bit  of  a  play  on  a  previous  character  i  had  ,  but  i’ve  tweaked  a  lot  about  him  since  then  .  this  intro  is  already  long  as  #heck  so  i  won’t  bore  you  with  my  own  intro  ,  but  please  feel  free  to  add  me  on  d.iscord  @  𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝟕 𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬.#4090  or  message  me  in  the  im’s  ,  whichever  you’re  more  comfortable  with  !
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            ˙✫*゚PARK  CHANYEOL  ,  CIS  MALE  ,  HE / THEY  :・ did  you  hear  christian  kwon  is  joining  the  cast  of  exposed  after  he  left  his  fiancé  at  the  alter  the  day  of  their  wedding  ?  the  twenty  seven  year  old  drummer  /  songwriter  with  29m  followers  is  trying  to  clear  their  name  .  they’ve  become  known  as  the  resident  casanova  here  in  the  mansion  ,  and  it’s  clear  that’s  spot  on  because  they’re  quite  -  pompous  &  -  venereal  ,  but  also  +  spellbinding  &  +  unostentatious  .  you  know  they’re  heading  to  the  confession  booth  if  you  hear  goodbyes  by  post  malone  ft.  young  thug  blasting  ,  most  likely  talking  about  how  they’re  more  than  constantly  twirling  drumsticks  between  skilled  fingers  ,  the  lingering  scent  of  his  cologne  long  after  he’s  gone  ,  sweat  dripping  from  dyed  locks  as  he  loses  himself  in  the  music  ,  and  throbbing  headaches  after  finally  crashing  at  six  in  the  morning .
𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄  :  christian  kwon  .
𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄(𝐒)  :  chris  and  ian  .
𝐀𝐆𝐄  +  𝐃𝐎𝐁  :  twenty - seven  +  february  28th  ,  1993  .
𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋  𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍  :  pisces  .
𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋  𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓  :  chaotic  neutral  .
𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑  +  𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒  :  cis  male  ,  non  binary  +  he  /  they  .
𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄  𝐎𝐅  𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇  :  laguna  beach  ,  california  .
𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋  𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  :  bisexual  .
𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂  𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  :  biromantic  .
𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  :  drummer  +  songwriter  for  rock  band  after  laughter  .
𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘  :  korean - american  .
𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐘  :  korean  .
𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒  𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍  :  korean  ,  english  ,  mandarin  ,  and  japanese  .
background  .
christian  kwon  grew  up  in  laguna  beach  ,  california  to  a  pediatrician  and  an  optometrist  ,  so  his  life  was  pretty  comfortable  from  the  start  .  he  grew  up  near  the  beach  and  in  a  home  that  was  bigger  than  what  was  needed  for  the  three  of  them  ,  but  that  was  his  parents  making  life  comfortable  for  him  .  
growing  up  ,  christian  was  the  kid  who  had  everything  ,  but  never  treated  people  as  less  than  .  granted  ,  he  went  to  school  with  the  kids  who  had  larger  than  life  homes  of  dreamed  of  getting  a  mercedes  for  their  sixteenth  ,  but  he  had  friends  who  didn’t  have  that  kind  of  lifestyle  ,  and  never  treated  anyone  other  than  the  way  he  wanted  to  be  . 
his  parents  were  constantly  putting  christian  into  various  after  school  clubs  to  keep  him  busy  ,  and  this  was  where  he  discovered  his  love  for  music  .  he  started  out  with  learning  how  to  play  the  guitar  ,  but  then  he  eventually  found  himself  being  pulled  towards  the  drums  .  christian  wasn’t  a  prodigy  by  any  means  ,  but  he  took  the  instrument  quite  easily  .  
it  was  no  surprise  that  during  high  school  ,  christian  decided  to  start  a  band  .  it  took  a  lot  of  trial  and  error  ,  and  for  about  six  months  the  band  didn’t  even  have  a  name  .  during  those�� six  months  ,  the  band  worked  together  to  find  their  sound  and  constantly  wrote  music  together  until  they  eventually  found  themselves  with  a  small  gig  where  they  debuted  as  after  laughter  .
the  band  continued  to  work  towards  their  dreams  ,  eventually  recording  their  first  album  (  all  we  know  is  falling  )  and  being  a  part  of  the  lineup  for  the  warped  tour  following  their  graduation  from  high  school  in  2011  .  following  the  tour  ,  the  band  began  working  on  their  second  album  in  2013  (  riot!  )  and  this  was  the  album  that  catapulted  them  into  mainstream  success  due  to  the  singles  crushcrushcrush  ,  misery  business  ,  and  that’s  what  you  get  .  the  album  went  platinum  ,  and  they  were  nominated  for  their  first  grammy  .
the  group  went  on  their  second  tour  ,  and  took  a  short  break  before  diving  into  their  third  album  .  they  were  soon  releasing  brand  new  eyes  in  2016  ,  and  they  were  off  on  their  first  world  tour  .  during  the  tour  ,  the  band  released  their  ep  singles  club  ,  and  finished  their  tour  a  few  months  later  .  deserving  a  bit  of  rest  ,  the  band  took  a  year’s  hiatus  before  returning  to  the  music  scene in  2018  with  their  album  paramore  .  the  album  spawned  four  singles  ,  and  one  of  them  ,  ain’t  it  fun  ,  went  on  to  win  the  band  their  first  grammy  .
later  in  that  same  year  ,  the  band  released  their  self - titled  album  after  laughter  ,  and  went  on  a  nine  month  tour  to  perform  both  albums  .  
exposed  .
during  his  time  in  the  band  ,  christian  found  himself  a  committed  relationship  .  the  couple  were  together  for  about  two  and  a  half  years  before  christian  finally  proposed  ,  and  they  were  both  excited  to  be  getting  married  .  their  engagement  had  been  a  blissful  one  ,  and  within  two  years  they  were  ready  to  get  married  .  the  day  came  ,  and  christian  found  himself  with  cold  feet  ,  thus  deciding  to  leave  his  fiancÊ  without  so  much  of  a  goodbye  before  heading  out  of  the  country  .
christian’s  name  had  been  slandered  due  to  his  decision  ,  and  his  management  team  wasn’t  sure  of  how  to  fix  the  error  of  his  ways  .  therefore  ,  when  the  opportunity  rose  ,  his  team  had  him  cast  on  the  show  in  a  way  to  help  clear  up  speculations  about  him  and  as  a  way  to  fix  the  tarnished  image  he  obtained  following  the  end  of  his  engagement  .
temperament  .
he’s  a  bit  of  an  asshole  .  not  a  bit  ,  he  is  .  christian  is  very  much  a  smooth  talker  and  knows  how  to  get  what  he  wants  due  to  his  charisma  .  definitely  the  ‘  mr  steal  your  girl  (  or  boy  !  )  ’  type  of  smooth  talker  because  that’s  what  he  does  best  .  he’s  wildly  charismatic  and  has  a  very  strong  habit  of  saying  things  he  doesn’t  mean  in  order  to  get  what  he  wants  .
his  emotional  and  romantic  stunting  mostly  stems  from  him  purposefully  putting  up  walls  that  he  makes  nearly  impossible  for  people  to  break  down  .  after  the  ugly  ending  to  his  engagement  (  and  joining  the  cast  of  exposed  )  ,  christian  has  shut  himself  off  from  others  not  only  for  his  image  ,  but  because  he  simply  can’t  deal  with  it  anymore  .
can  be  quite  the  meme  sometimes  .  never  truly  knows  what’s  going  on  ,  but  somehow  manages  to  put  two  and  two  together  .  has  a  really  loud  laugh  when  he  truly  finds  something  funny  ,  and  probably  radiates  himbo  energy  like  there’s  nothing  to  it  .  not  really  a  point  of  his  personality  ,  but  he’s  always finding  a  way  to  make  something  musical  ?  whether  it  be  drumming  his  fingers  ,  constantly  humming  a  tune  he  can’t  get  out  his  head  ,  or  randomly  singing  a  song  when  he  hears  a  word  from  the  lyrics  .
headcanons  .
christian  identifies  as  cis  male  and  as  non binary  .  this  is  mostly  due  to  the  fact  that  he  that  he  doesn’t  identify  to  any  gender  ,  but  he  acknowledges  that  he  has  been  socialized  as  a  man  .  he  is  fine  with  someone  using  he  /  him  /  his  and  they  /  them  /  theirs  pronouns  when  speaking  to  or  referring  to  him  .
very  much  so  romantically  and  emotionally  stunted  ,  therefore  he  bides  his  time  with  casual  sex  and  noncommittal  acts  of  romance  .  typically  can  be  found  slipping  out  of  beds  in  the  middle  of  the  night  ,  never  returning  texts  /  calls  (  or  blocking  the  number  entirely  )  ,  and  at  times  (  and  considered  to  be  his  worst  trait  yet  )  will  pretend  as  though  he  doesn’t  know  who  the  other  is  .
don’t  ask  him  about  technology  because  he  doesn’t  know  !  despite  being  twenty - seven  he  can  be  quite  ...  behind  the  times  .  the  only  reason  he  has  the  latest  gadgets  and  such  is  because  his  management  team  ensures  that  he  has  it  .  
his  stage  fashion  and  off - stage  fashion  styles  tend  to  differ  greatly  .  when  on  state  ,  christian  can  often  be  seen  sporting  the  typical  drummer  attire  :  half - opened  button  downs  ,  form  fitting  jeans  ,  vans  ,  and  looser  tees  .  in  short  ,  he  likes  for  his  shirts  to  be  loose  as  he  really  gets  into  playing  .  as  for  off - stage  ,  it  ends  to  be  a  little  more  refined  .  he  can  be  seen  wearing  a  touch  more  designer  and  he  likes  layers  even  when  it’s hotter  outside  .  still  an  avid  fan  of  half - opened  button  downs  ,  but  instead  of  jeans  ,  he’ll  replace  them  with  shorts  depending  on  the  weather  .
his  signature  within  the  band  is  often  dying  his  fair  various  colors  ,  with  the  most  common  being  pink  and  blonde  .  he  tends  to  get  a  perm  because  he  likes  his  hair  to  be  curly  /  fluffy  ,  but  a  slick  back  with  an  undercut  hairstyle  ?  chef’s  kiss  .
he  only  uses  a  variety  of  customized  drumsticks  and  he  cannot  see  !  do  not  ask  him  to  look  at  anything  when  he  first  wakes  up  because  chances  are  he  will  have  to  get  super  close  in  order  to  see  it  .  typically  alternates  between  his  glasses  or  contacts  .
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