#maybe they'd fuck or something but I truly don't see a relationship happening here

[sunayyyy]

One AU that i think has major angst potential is jason todd and damian wayne meeting in the league of assassins, but it's not the way that you think.

Usually, these AU's show that jason and damian had a good relationship, but damian felt abandoned when jason left to become the red hood so he doesn't mention their bond at all, or jason forgets about damian when he gets dipped in the pit, or both of them escaping the league or staying in the league together. And yes, the angst from some of these is amazing, and some of the works are really cute, but what if the angst happens after they've arrived in gotham?

Jason tells damian that he's leaving the league to clean up gotham, and when damian gets upset, he tells him that it's so he can meet his father. And so you go through the whole UtRH arc, except damian goes to bruce before jason reveals himself. However, when with bruce, damian gets convinced that jason really was angry and reckless as robin and got himself killed (even though he probably knows how exactly jason died, jason would trust him with the thing with sheila. He'd intend it to be a lesson as to why you shouldn't blindly trust anyone, even family) After the reveal and the whole fallout from there, damian comes to the conclusion that the best way to get closer to his father and 'show his loyalty' is to bash jason.

Of course, he wouldn't really mean it, at first. I mean, that's jason, his brother, one of the only people who showed him unconditional love and kindness. But then he gets more and more invested in the whole blood heir thing, and it eases his guilt, just a bit. Then he starts rationalising it. Since jason isn't here, he won't care what he says behind his back. Right? This goes on until damian buries the version of jason he knew and replaces him with the failure robin. Damian stops seeing jason as his brother and statts seeing him as a burder or an unworthy predecessor.

Well, jason hears everything he says, since he has access to the security in the batcave. And it hurts, worse than when bruce or alfred or dick say those things, because damian KNOWS better. He thought that his love was reciprocated, that their time at the league meant something to both of them, but he thought wrong.

In my mind, this would make jason grow numb. He'd still do the outlaws thing, but he wouldn't try to get in contact with any of the bats. And if damian held these beliefs, would talia be the same? Would roy and kori? This would cause jason to self isolate and only come to gotham once every few months to make sure his empire is going strong, then dip and do whatever.

Since he prefers being alone and doesn't want any real connection to anyone, i think JayRose would be perfect here. In my opinion, jayrose is best when both of them are super fucked up but end up helping each other heal. They'd see themselves in each other, offering themselves up to their families just to be met with betrayal.

I previously talked about how a fully realised/healed jason could take on anyone in the batfam save cass, and once he finds this out, he just sets up full time in gotham with rose. Rose would be his right-hand woman, and they'd take over. I like jaytemis, i really do, but i feel like jason and rose would just be a better couple here. You could have artemis and bizarro help jason as well. In this au, i feel like jason wouldn't have a strong relationship with roy and kori, even though i love their dynamic, so i don't want to involve them here. Bruce fights jason for the first time since utrh and thinks it's gonna be easy, just to be laid flat on his ass with a broken arm while jason discusses what he wants to eat with rose after patrol.

Once the bats start to realise what's happening, and once they find out everything they've been fed by bruce and alfred was just bullshit, i think they'd get really angry. Jason todd, the supposed failure, managed to get control of gotham while fighting them all off, and has the loyalty of a superman clone and the shim'tar, not to mention slade wilson's daughter. His operation might even be deemed dangerous enough to warrant a justice league level interference. Things would grow really tense, and they'd try to reach out, but jason has moved on, and he doesn't want anything to do with them. The only thing that ties him to them is bruce wayne, and that's really not great for them.

When the illusion shatters, i think the most affected out of all of the bats would be damian. He allowed himself to disrespect and bash his brother just for his father, and it would haunt him. You can have them reconcile if you want to, but i don't. This thing with damian fucked jason up, and i don't think he would forgive him. He'd understand and have sympathy, but he wouldn't be able to trust damian again.

[penelopepine]

Forever in Your Gaze Pt. 5 (Final)

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Fem Reader

Part 4 Part 5

Summary: Night at the museum AU. Gaz and Reader are both paintings directly across from one another, and have been in love for many years now. The only thing is that they are unable to actually leave the confines of their canvas, and have never felt others touch.

Word Count: 2529

Content: Established relationship, fluff, light angst, gunshots, wounds, car accidents

The sound stops Kyle in his tracks for all but a moment before he runs towards it. Even as he runs it continues to echo in his ears. To hear that sound he knows that something truly dire is happening, and that Price is in trouble. 

As he runs he continues to hurriedly make his way down the halls as he passes others who are actively trying to get as far away from the current situation. It annoyingly slows him down when he knows that every second right now counts. 

It takes Kyle a few minutes to finally find the source, and when he does he finds that Ghost, Soap, Alex, and Farah are already there. They're huddled up by one of the entrances to one of the open spaces; he can see you are also already here, but by the opposite entrance.  He is glad to know where you are, and that you’re ok for now. At the same time though he wished that you would turn, and walk away, he knew you wouldn’t though. Not when Price was laying on the ground, his leg clearly bleeding, and a strange man standing above him with a gun. 

“What the fuck?" The man shouts; hardening his stance and grip, "That bastard wasn't lying after all!" He grins while looking at all of them.

"You're outnumbered. Let my friend there get up, and maybe you'll get out here alive." Ghost simply states taking a single step forward, and unsheathes his sword.

The man chuckles as he puts a foot on Price's chest; forcing him onto his back, "I don't think so. I might not be able to hurt you, but I can hurt your friend before you even get close to me."  

This ultimately does stop Ghost from approaching any further. As much as it pains him to do nothing he knows that Price would already be gone by the time they got close enough to attack. The only thing they can really do now is to try and negotiate with the man, and find out why he's here.  "What do you want? You're obviously here for something. So what is it?" Kyle inquires.

The man presses down on Price's chest causing him to grunt in pain, "I don't think I have to explain anything actually; besides you'll find out soon enough." He says before looking in your direction an almost manic grin spreads onto his face.

If Kyle had been paying more attention he would have noticed a shadowy figure walking behind you. Unfortunately it's only when the man looks at you, and you let out a loud gasp does he see that Shepherd is standing right next to you. 

"Graves! Stop messing around, and get with the program. Let's get what we need and go!" Shepherd yells at the man now identified to them. Kyle can only think of one thing they'd be here for, and seeing your frame in Shepherd's hands only confirms it to him. 

"Shepherd?" Price grits out; anger more present in his voice then pain. "You son of a bitch! You knew this whole time?"

Looking lazily over towards Price Shepherd answers him with, “Of course I knew. With how many years I’ve been here, and you think I wouldn’t have known?” He then focuses his attention on you as he takes a step forward, and at the same time you take a step away. “Now you need to get back into this frame.” 

“No!” Kyle starts to walk to you, but Graves at the same time re-straightens his aim towards Price. Stopping him before he can even take one step, “Don’t get into the frame!” He desperately calls out. 

You glance in his direction with a grimace, before turning back to Shepherd; it was clear that you were debating what to do right now. Looking around to see how the others are reacting to this, and while everyone else is looking on at the scene in front of them with varying degrees of anger. Farah on the other hand is not where she once stood. 

Kyle at this point finally noticed how everytime Shepherd or Graves looked away, Farah would take a step back; making her way behind them all. With her next step he moves to stand completely in front of her, efficiently blocking her from view from the two intruders. 

As he looks back he sees Farah give him a quick nod before silently making her way down the hall and eventually around the corner. Kyle wasn’t sure what she had planned, but he trusts that it’ll be something to help them with the current situation. He can’t think about that too much right now though; not when you’re being held by the man that wants to take you away from him.

“Final warning! Get in willingly or Price here is getting a second shot to match his first, and he won’t be getting up again if he does.” Shepherd threatens again while gesturing towards Price and your frame, giving you the choice of what you have to choose from. 

“Gaz,” You stare into his soul; your eyes have a glassy look to them, “I’m sorry.” Slowly you stagger towards Shepherd and Kyle can do nothing but watch as you are encompassed once more into the frame. 

A truly sinister grins spreads onto Shepherd’s face as you are fully consumed. He then flicks his gaze up; taking in everyone in front of him now before finally barking, “Graves, march out." 

With those words Graves slowly releases Price from under his boot, but keeps his gun trained on him even as he walks backwards towards Shepherd. Once they are standing side by side Shepherd tilts his head, and whispers something in the ear of the man beside him. In just a flash Graves is raising his arm and shooting the light in the middle of the room; casting darkness all around them. The only lights now coming from the halls. 

Immediately the four of them are rushing forward to get to Price. Looking up though Kyle sees the shadows of the two men running down the halls towards the docking area. 

“Gaz, go!” Price yells at him; his voice still filled with pain. “Don’t let them get away. I’ll be fine.” 

He’s not going to argue with that, and is just as quickly racing down the hall trying to catch up. While running he notices that a second pair of footsteps are coming up from behind him. Looking back he sees that Ghost is actually right in step with him now. Something else that he noticed was how eerily quiet the museum seems to be. Usually there would be all kinds of soft chatters coming from all directions; he would have thought with the situation that there would be even more. 

Upon finally reaching the docking bay Kyle sees both of them already hopping into a white van. Very muffled he can make out your shouts for him. It's that that drives him to run faster; if only he had gotten here sooner. Try as he might, he is no match for a speeding vehicle. 

Kyle falls to his knees just as the van reaches the end of the driveway as they are about to enter the street. There is no way he could possibly catch them at this point. He failed; you're gone. Ghost who is standing beside him places a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort his friend.

Just as they hurriedly pull out about to drive into the darkness a car comes seemingly out of nowhere, and crashes into the van; stopping both vehicles in their tracks.  Ghost is first to react to the scene in front of them; his comforting hand turns into grabbing Kyle by the arm, and dragging him into a full sprint towards the crash. "Don't mourn yet, Gaz. We can still get her back!" 

Before he can start running back he notices that Ghost is no longer with him. Instead he is standing by the car that hit the van. The window is rolled down, and just as he's about to call out to Ghost to start running the person in the car becomes visible.  "Roach?" 

"Hi, Gaz!"

"Enough chatter let's go!" Ghost booms out to them. He opens the door, and practically lifts Roach out of the car before the three of them are running back to the museum door. 

Just as they enter and the door is about to shut behind them Kyle can hear Shepherd yelling at something at Graves. He doesn't get a chance to hear properly though before the heavy door slams shut. 

"Kyle" Your voice so relieved, as you gaze into his eyes, "I love you so much." 

"And I love you. You're also going to end up killing me with how many times you have almost been taken from me." 

Before more can be said it's Roach who interrupts them, "And I love you both, but now is not the time! Price is still hurt, and if everything in here went to plan everyone else should be waiting for us in the lobby." 

Kyle continues to hold you and your frame as they make their way quickly to the lobby. Once there he sees that Soap, Alex, and Farah are all standing around Price, who is now sitting at the receptionist's desk, his leg bandaged up. Upon seeing them in the lobby as well a breath of relief is released from all of them. 

Soap though is jumping from his seat, and running towards Roach once he sees that he is here as well. “Roach! What are you doing here?” 

“I got a call saying you all could use some help.” Roach says while nodding his head towards Farah as he continues to walk towards the desk with everyone else. 

Remembering that he had watched Farah leave while they were dealing with Shepherd he asked her, “Is that what you did, call Roach?” Kyle by now is standing by Price as he sets your frame on ground, finally allowing you to get out of the frame, holding you tight to his side as soon as he’s able to. 

“Roach isn’t the only one I called, Laswell is on her way as well.” Farah explains, “Everyone in the museum should be following the emergency protocol. We’ll need to join them soon. Laswell said that she was going to be calling law enforcement when I told her what happened.” 

Before more can be said faint shouting can be heard coming from deeper in the museum, it is instantly identifiable as coming from Shepherd. Coincidentally a second later red and blue lights start to shine through the lobby windows.  

Price is fast to take control of the situation. He calls your name, and tells you to get back into the painting, “As for the rest of you. Follow the protocol; go back to your areas, and call it a night. No one is going to be out in the halls tonight.” 

Alex, Farah, Soap, and Ghost promptly follow his command and rush back to their spots. All the while making sure to avoid interacting with Shepherd. Who’s voice is only growing louder as he gets closer. 

Kyle on the other hand doesn’t leave right away; instead takes a few seconds to pull you into a kiss, and give you a promise. “You’re not going to be taken again. We’ll see eachother again.” 

“I’ll take care of her, Gaz. No one will be taking her away while I have her.” Roach comes up reassuring you both with his words. Roach knew how important you two were to each other, and he wasn’t one to break a promise. 

By this time the sirens are getting louder, and lights seem to be getting closer. Kyle takes a few moments though to help you back in before reluctantly returning to his own frame. It wasn’t until he was just about to enter when he heard the echo of several people yelling. It takes everything for him to not turn around, and run to you. 

The urge gets even stronger once he has to then sit there for half an hour listening to it. For all he knows someone he cares about could be hurt, and what is he doing? Just sitting in a frame not doing anything to help them. 

It’s strange though how the silence afterwards is almost worse. He would have popped out, and went to investigate if not for his respect for Price. He had drilled it into everyone in here that emergency protocol means not moving for the rest of the night; just to be safe. 

If he had to guess it was 2 hours of silence later when Laswell appeared right in front of him. 

“Gaz, good to see you again my friend. I’ve heard that you’re able to move out of your frame. You’ll have to tell me all about that at a later date.” She says right away not even waiting for him to react to her presence. “For now though, follow me. There’s someone waiting for you in the lobby.” 

There’s only one person he can think of that would be waiting for him right now. Quickly he gets out once more, what was once a fight is now as simple as swimming through water. On the slow walk he can’t help but ask Laswell questions that he desperately wants to know. “Laswell, how is Price doing right now?” 

“Price is doing well. He’s lucky that the shot was clean, and with a bit of rest he’ll be just fine. Roach is with him right now; he should be helping the old man out right now.” 

“And what of Shepherd and Graves?” 

Laswell shoots him a small smile before answering, “Those two have been arrested. They’re not going to be bothering us anymore; for certain this time.” 

“Why do all this though? They were already under investigation; they had to have known the risk of doing this.”  

“Apparently your girl already had a high buyer from what I’ve heard. They were most likely going to cash in on that before fleeing the country.” 

Before Kyle can ask anything more they arrive at the opening to the lobby, and right there in the moonlight is you. Looking as beautiful as ever; it strangely feels similar to the first time he met you. He strides towards you, and as soon as you're in reach he’s pulling you into his arms; lifting you off the ground as he spins. 

Laswell, who had been forgotten about once he saw you walks closer to you both before saying, “I see you two are doing well. I’ll go ahead and leave you two here then. I’m going to be in my office for the next few hours.” 

It’s quiet as you both watch her slowly disappear down one of the halls, but once she does you two are immediately on eachother. 

After all that has happened tonight the only thing Kyle wants is to feel you against him. “Please never leave my gaze again.” 

“I will forever be in your gaze.” 

Note: IT'S DONE!!! I hope everyone who has read this far enjoyed this. Feel free to tell me your thoughts!

Taglist: @zarsghost @nexthyperfix @kaoyamamegami @thigh-o-saur @clear-your-mind-and-dream

@cod-z @xlittlebubx-blog

[ghostradiodylan]

In general Ryan gets so mistreated and overhated by the fandom and it makes me sad because I really like Ryan even in my first playthrough :/ I get that the part where he was arguing with Laura about the existence of werewolves when he watched Nick transform and run out the window was kind of dumb but he’s all around a great character who’s brave and helpful and he helped save everyone’s lives in the best ending….

While I don’t agree with all of their actions I can’t bring myself to hate on any of the counselors. They’re all young adults who are stuck in a horrifying and traumatic situation, of course they’re going to be flawed and not perfect. It just baffles me how Travis, Constance, Jedidiah and Eliza do the most horrible things in the game yet people viciously hate on Ryan : (

Oh, the actual adults in the game are absolutely The Worst. (Even Chris, though I think he wants to help, is incredibly negligent at best).

I think there are a few things happening here that can turn people against Ryan (and I'm not saying anyone has to like him as a character, we all have characters we vibe with and ones we don't, but it's worth examining why we don't vibe with some characters especially when those characters are Black or other POC, LGBTQ, and ND-coded).

Ryan is a victim of some of the less compelling writing choices in the game IMO. They don't have anything to do with his character, really, he's generally well-written, but some of the things that were cut from the game, and the way the relationships unravel in the latter half of the game does Ryan kind of dirty.

First of all, his relationship with Chris Hackett isn't fleshed out enough for a lot of players to understand why he's willing to sacrifice so much on the hope that his mentor isn't actually a werewolf (or a deeply irresponsible asshole of a boss). If they'd left in the scene of Chris following up with Ryan about following his dreams and going to animation school and the initial confrontation with Chris that was patched out, where Ryan questions how he hid this from them all this time when he cared about them and Ryan trusted him (literally heartbreaking to watch tbh 🥺), it might have been a little easier for players to empathize with his loyalty to Chris. This kid has no known father, absentee mother, aging grandparents, a sister he clearly feels a lot of responsibility for, and his father figure who he goes to for advice left him in the worst possible situation. Of course he's going to be in denial about that and about him being a werewolf until he sees it for himself, and then Ryan has to kill him. It's so fucking tragic. And he doesn't even get a second to mourn or even react because the Silas plotline kicks in immediately (and they spent all the animated tears budget on Jacob).

Then there's Ryan's relationship with Dylan, which I could (and will) write about for days. Based on the game we got, plus the cut content, I don't think Ryan was ever supposed to have the option to get with Kaitlyn. I think that's a red herring that allows homophobic players to avoid a gay kiss (kind of a fucked up use of a BAMF character and Brenda Song's star power but, ok). I don't think he was ever supposed to get to romance Laura either. But I do think he was meant to be able to either end up with Dylan, or decisively not end up with him. If they'd kept the relationship system that we still have traces of but no actual structure for, then his ability to say 'maybe neither' to Laura wouldn't be something players held against him because it would have a basis in the choices we've made as Ryan (and Dylan) so far. As it stands, it feels like that is unsupported by what's happened in the game when we've had Dylan and Ryan flirting with each other and taking an obvious interest in each other since they were introduced.

Even if you choose the less favorable dialogue options, Dylan and Ryan are never really shown to be truly at odds (with the possible exception of the gun argument, but even that pretty much smooths over in the end). Even if you have them be hard-headed assholes to each other, they still have their heart-to-heart on the way to the radio hut (which I really think was supposed to have an alternative if they had low relationship stats).

Complicating matters is the fact that a lot of people really love Dylan. Obviously I'm one of them, I mean, look at my url and writing choices. I think Miles gives the best performance of the game, hands down (and I think all the actors did really well tbh). He's a great actor (his line reads are flawless and that sassy boy body language? I die.) but he also gets a lot to work with in terms of the script. Dylan is complex and compelling in a way that tends to be highly relatable for most people. He's probably neurodivergent (ADHD) but it's portrayed in a more palatable way for neurotypical people. Plus, as an audience, we are primed to empathize with the person who wants to be wanted, who is afraid of rejection, who has the cute crush that we want to see reciprocated and is trying not to get their heart stomped on. We've all been there! That's a centuries-old trope in drama and literature for a reason. And while Ryan does not owe Dylan reciprocation, we see some pretty clear signs of it at least being possible. So the game sort of dangles it in front of players like we can make that happen with our choices and then makes a half-baked attempt to snatch it away. That annoys people and, I think at least partially because Ryan's race and stoic demeanor (/autism) have people subconsciously primed to view him negatively, they take that out on him instead of the SMG writers who opted for that rather than fleshing out the relationships any further for the latter half of the game.

Like, yes, it's a horror game not a dating sim (Ryan and Dylan dating sim DLC when tho??), but you spend so much time building relationships that end up not mattering to the outcome of the game, I get why that's frustrating for people. It's frustrating for me! I just think being mad at Ryan over it is the wrong take. I still see people saying "Dylan deserves better than Ryan." Dylan and Ryan both deserve to exist in a finished fucking game where we have the option to get them together or not, but blaming whatever happens, or doesn't, on Ryan as a character is kinda trash.

[mellohirust]

In the dark timeline, what do you think would happen if Neil Gaiman wrote it so Aziraphale and Crowley didn’t reunite and reconcile in S3? 👀

In the infinite sunshine timeline, how would everyone react if S3 was just South Downs fluff?

Finally, what’s a plot twist nobody would see coming?

OK OK putting my good omens thoughts under the cut because we're gonna be here a while. strap in.

-Dark timeline where they don't reunite and reconcile is admittedly VERY hard to envision. They've always relied on each other in some capacity whether they like it or not (literally their FIRST INTERACTION before the beginning is Crowley needing Aziraphale's help). I'd imagine Aziraphale would have a LOT to sort out on his own, and it would not be easy at all for him, if even possible given the circumstances. He'd have the whole Second Coming to handle (and also hope he can somehow thwart), all while Heaven is likely watching like a HAWK, all while he wouldn't want to be doing any of it at all. For the first time in thousands of years he'd be truly alone, and I doubt he'd have a plan that would feel reliable. It would be awful. There's only so much a single angel can do. The Book of Life is also a very real threat. Falling is also something he's still worried about. He'd have to get VERY lucky. I doubt he could just sway the Metatron into a different opinion (although I'm sure he'll try). I think he's pretty fucked unless God were to intervene and look out for him.

Not that he'd be satisfied in the end, even if the world was saved and everything was fine. He'd never forgive himself if he didn't reconcile with Crowley by the end of things, I'd imagine.

I also think Crowley would never shake the feeling of something being wrong, even if Aziraphale doesn't reach out to him for help (which... come on. He will. Where else could he go?). He always expected a "big one", he just doesn't know when or where it'll happen, but obviously Heaven would need Aziraphale for SOMETHING. They wanted to erase Gabriel's memories because he refused to do Armageddon 2.0! Do you really think that's gonna stop them? That they won't just try again? Their whole deal is that they're insistent on this. They won't let up. That's not gonna change no matter who's in charge, and he knows it. I can't see Crowley giving up on Earth until it's too late, maybe abandoning ship last second as to avoid his own demise, but it's a question as to what he could piece together on his own, whether or not Hell would still tell him things, etc when it comes to what he'd actually try to achieve. After all, you can't thwart what you don't know the details of. It would be a lost cause. (Personally, I don't see him becoming a Duke of Hell either; it's something I can enjoy in fanworks but I don't see him as the type to take that deal even to 'spite Aziraphale' in canon. Not unless he hoped to get intel? But I think he'd much rather not have them watching him.)

Could either of them thwart the Second Coming on their own or with others besides each other? Very, very unlikely, and it would be a very close call, and probably still entail other sorts of disaster. Could they do it without crossing paths at least once? Also very unlikely. (After all, the entire driving force of S1/the book is how many people come together for Armageddon in attempts to either start or stop it). If they work at this and want to stand a chance they're doomed to reunite, and therefore, doomed to reconcile. They would quite literally have to be exterminated or wiped out of the Book of Life in order to never reunite (and I just don't think this is that kind of story). Make of this what you will.

(I also can't see them just being able to go back to before their feelings were revealed to each other, either. There's no pretending it isn't there, anymore. Crowley said as much. No more hiding. I don't think this doomed their relationship going forward, even if it may take a while to fully smooth things over.)

TL;DR They'd fight like hell for Earth, probably wouldn't be able to succeed without the other, probably die trying anyways and with many regrets regarding each other. Best case scenario God personally intervenes out of the blue and mercifully decides to thwart Heaven's own plan but they both still spend the rest of eternity thinking of what could've been. They'd hate it. They'd miss each other SO BAD and would (fail to) pretend they didn't.

-Pure South Downs fluff would be such tonal whiplash lmao and would also feel kinda unearned? I think fluffier moments shine brightest when the characters have had to work for it a little and Aziraphale/Crowley still have a LOT of problems that need to be sorted in order to be able to be happy together. (Also it's just... not gonna happen. You can't tease the Second Coming and then skip past it to an "everything's fine" future.) The entire point of S3 for me is we KNOW where they'll end up- we want to see HOW. It's not a story without stakes and consequences and a bit of risk, at least when it comes to Good Omens. That isn't to say that they need to be tortured or whatever in S3 to feel earned, but we need to see a lot of things get wrapped up (Second Coming, Aziraphale needs Heaven to leave him alone + needs to be able to work through his complicated feelings regarding it, Crowley needs for Hell to stop calling on him, they need to be able to safely communicate what they want, they need to talk about the kiss, etc). We want to see these!! We can't get these without a bit of hurt. I wanna see them break free more than I want pure fluff. That's just me though.

(With that being said, I hope that at least they get a BIT of time next season to just... be together. Happily. And do some of the things they couldn't before. And by a 'bit of time' I mean 'I sure do hope it's more than like 2 minutes before the credits roll but I will take literally anything I can get at this point'. There's potential here!!! So much of it!!! And they deserve it!!! It's just not the show's tone for it to take up that much time. I'd miss the chaos too much I think, and I'd miss the catharsis of seeing a character finally getting what they want in real time. Just a BIT of fluff at the end though, all I ask. This could insta-kill me.)

TL;DR Bit too much!!! I want them to bicker!!! In a way that's framed comically!!! This is a comedy show!!! And I want to watch them get through hard times!!! I just also want them to make out afterwards and also save the world and stuff. Then I'll be satisfied.

-Honestly I haven't thought much about possible plot twists in S3? I take the Final Fifteen pretty "straightforward" (I don't think the coffee is spiked, I don't think they stopped time, I don't think they body swapped, I don't think the Metatron will be "secretly good", etc) so I don't think there's really enough to go off of at the moment for me when it comes to the plot itself, let alone plot twists for it. I will say though if God is in S3 I will lose my shit; I have a feeling She wouldn't be "caring" but not 100% pure dark evil either if we DO see Her. I don't think She won't be what most fans expect. (Of course, that's just in the hypothetical that She appears. Who knows?)

TL;DR Where is God I'm scared

It took me over an hour to draft this response my bad

[secondchoice-ragdoll]

Am I the only one who is a little sad that the moment Trixie was single she didn't take a second look at Katya and immediately went to the ex? She could've given her a chance. And I wonder how K really feels now that she wants kids. I know she doesn't want them herself, but I'm afraid this will change things between them and I really really hope they don't.

ugh okay first of all: im totally w u and i a 100% see ur point. these have crossed my mind too, and i can easily get to a place where these topics make me sad for a while. but genuinely i dont think we should worry too much abt any of it. at the end all i want is for them to be happy, no matter how that looks like🤝

on a further note, we cant be like *actually* sure abt any of what is going on? like yes it seems pretty clear, and it might as well be exactly as we think it is, its all spelled out, isnt it? its really just that we were the ones who spelled it out, and not T, or any other person who is practicipating in the situation. all im saying is that i wouldnt advise anyone to bet on whats going on w T rn (if for nothing else then just out of respect), and im sure eventually we will hear either a confirmation or a fully different story that will clear things up.

specualtion is free tho, and also pretty interesting, so as long as we keep it kinda hush-hush i think its okay that we entertain ourselves w these anecdotes. like im totally in, and i do think *the* ex is now truly an ex, like that much id even dare to place a bet on. the rest is just questionmarks😭😭😭 like i could see this new guy being actually something, or just a rebound-fling, or just a friend(?). and its also possible that he is the old ex, and then i do have even more questions, but the bar is under a frog's ass after the last guy, so im appriciative towards anyone who is slightly better than him, and it would appear to be a true challenge to be worse than him💀 sooo idk i do believe yall that that guy on the pics is really old KY guy, im just not sure if they r friends or fwb or dating or a secret fourth option? doesnt matter as long as T is okay and having fun. (also, i do think she could have spent some time being single IF she is in a relationship again, but hey, anything is better than how we were around a year ago, no? and as long as a guy doesnt treat her like shit im happy for her!!!) ((and yes. i am really sad miss K got looked over again if thats the case. even if i dont think we will ever get to live in a world they r actually legit dating. in another universe for sure. but in this one? too many hangups. these creatures cant even fucking talk abt the fact that they'd like to hang out more tgthr. like..... be fr😭 they r stooooopid, and thats okay. its sad, its tragic, but its okay, and they have a really special relationship regardless of whether they ever go that far or dont. there is always hope, and even if they fall out now, maybe they need it to break and actually confront the fact that they want to hang out? like there r so many ways for things to go. soooo many. i could sit here and spin this wheel on for hours with no end, i promise. i do think it could have happened in like 2020-2023? maybe even beginning of 24. but as things stand now... eeeh i think it wouldnt be such a clean cut, but they do tend to do things the more complicated way, at least thats how it seems to me. the thing is that they r such complex ppl and they have so many motives that i could make literal lists about what their excuses might be (such as work, but now that T says it doesnt matter that much maybe it changes, or such as age, or what-ifs, or fear of ruining what they have, or thinking that maybe they have missed their chance, new/old confidence issues, mental health states? ...these two...). on the other hand, do we really think K got looked over? Ts literal god? im not so sure, but only time will be able to tell wtf has been going on.))

i see ur concern, and yeah change is fucking scary, especially if such comforting things change. but u see, this could be exactly one of their hangups too. things keep changing no matter what, all we can do is hope they both r okay and happy and nice parts of each other's lives.

i understand that T keeps speaking abt wantimg kids, and sure, pop off! but like, i reaaaally doubt she would be actually having kids this year? like i feel like its maybe a new thing for her to think of having kids as an actual possibility she considers for her future, thus she speaks abt it openly since its one of the things she is interested in now! but like, having a kid is not this quick of a process, even a pregnancy takes 9 months😭😭 and also im pretty sure that her life isnt at a place where she could pick up a kid tomorrow and just go on and be her best self as a parent and i feel like she must be aware of that? T and K would both be at least okay parents, thats for sure!! but like, considering Ts past year... yeah i dont think it will be such a quick happening. once, in a few years, sure! even in 2, why not! but not tomorrow. she'd do fine as a single parent, she'd do fine w a partner, it will be fine, just really not as soon as some ppl r concerned it might be😭 let her just get that birdie first, i think that could be a logical and nice next step!

finally, i really dont think K would have such a problem w children? (even if she did, dont u think shed make an exception for T? im pretty sure she'd do almost anything for/with T.) like she absolutely adores her nephew as far as i know, so im certain she wouldnt delete T's contact info if/when she had a kid. im pretty sure T wouldnt block Ks number either just bc she became a parent, she also seems to know how nice K is to kids despite not necessarily getting them (see: her gifting a lot of money to her nephew's, like, 4th bday? but i could argue that thats a great gift, just more long term great😭). and what if T gets that kid and eventually calls K for help (more likely for herself and not the kid, but this is besides the point), and then K does help, and then they spend even more time together with this newfound excuse, and they realise how well they function as a family, and then they can finally move in together and be lesbians and be disgustingly in love and live happily ever after??? what then???? anyways, my point is that even if they r in a tiny bit of a divitation i highly doubt it would be due to T wanting a kid. i think its more that they both were afraid during T's break that if they reached out more they would annoy the other one, bc "omg what if she needed a break from me too???" (like. T needed a break from her god. and K needed a break from the person who tethers her to this earth. sure jan. emotionally they do have some challenges, thats certain!). and maybe they need to drift a bit apart to then get back together and be even closer (if that is scientifically even possible). things arent as linear and easy as we would like them to be, and since our perspective is and outside one, im pretty sure that from their pov it seems or at least feels sooooo much more complicated. while i just sit on the floor and go "just date ffs its not that hard!!4!4 look back footage of ur faces while u look at eachother!!! thats all u need!!44!", and we r both right! it is very complicated but it could also be manageable. (what i think might be more painful here is if T has the kid w a partner, bc that seems pretty, uh, *certain*, or unchangable, final? obvi its not ***that*** drastic, but it is a bigger deal. so yeah, but i stand by my op that none of this will happen in the blink of an eye, we'll see as it unfolds ig and hope for smth real nice)

[cyvonix]

Cyv Reads Homestuck - Act 6 Act 5 Wrapup

Guys, I feel lied to.

I somehow gathered the gist that what I just read through was supposed to be one of the worst parts of this comic. Maybe Homestuck fans are just really harsh or dramatic or something, because I got the impression I was in for some truly heinous shit.

And instead, I get an act full of interesting meta commentary, constant utilization of the medium to do cool shit with the format, genuinely super well done, emotionally driven character writing, and a pretty consistent forward momentum of an ever-escalating narrative. What the fuck??? Did I drastically miscalculate the consensus on this act, or am I in the minority here? Either way, everything I said completely stands.

The alpha kids are fucking awesome imo. I don't care what anyone says about the melodrama being boring teen bullshit or whatever, they have unique and insane stories that I think deserve to be explored in this level of emotional vulnerability and it was satisfying to finally see some catharsis happen. People seem to dislike the trickster mode stuff, and ironically, I think the kinda person I'm talking about is one of the things that segment is poking fun at. The trickster arc, while also being really fucking funny and absurd and bizarre and fun tbh, somehow also does something kind of profound in that it shines a light directly at the characters flaws and internal struggles: Jane's inability to come to terms with her romantic feelings, Roxy's delicate sobriety on the verge of a relapse, Jake's oblivious, self-centered behavior, and Dirk's propensity towards self-critical introspection to the point of self-sabotage and even self-loathing. A mirror is held up to all the kids, who up to this point were using the framework of the game to hide and delay these issues in any way they could, and afterwards are essentially forced to face them head on and finally own up to some of the things they'd been desperately pushing down. So yeah I unironically love trickster arc fuck yall lol. I have some other detailed thoughts on the alpha kids if you wanna see, in this post.

The meta storytelling also remains just as important as it was in the previous act, but now extends past Caliborn and into the rest of the cast as well. With the way things are going - Caliborn's slow rise to power as he gathers the Felt members and learns how to use different powers, and the gang's discovery of the strange Sburb artifact that seems to have far-reaching implications concerning the fabric of the story itself - it's beginning to become clear that what the characters may be fighting for is the real-world, metatextual right to continue existing and decide how that happens. Almost as if the party who wins will decide the fate of the webcomic itself.

Even within the purely textual story below and meta elements, things are becoming really grand in an awesome way. We've finally reached the point where characters from different sessions are intermingling and aiding in each others' journeys to the fullest degree, and with the meteor and ship finally reaching the new session, I only expect this to ramp up as we enter the final stretch. I talked a lot about the emotional storytelling of the alpha kids, but the same remains true for all the others as well. I find Rose especially compelling at this point, seeing the way Roxy is finally beginning to cope with her alcoholism, and the way her Rose, obviously predisposed to the same issues, is only just beginning her journey with substance abuse. It's heartbreaking to see it get worse and worse as she clearly puts more of a strain on her and Kanaya's relationship, when just a few acts ago it was one of the cutest and most pure displays of romantic interest, but it tracks with Rose's character and feels like a step that has to happen for her. And in the department of the villainous forces at large, the Mekara's remain a giant fucking question mark that is equally amusing as it is terrifying, and the various agents at work are coalescing to ensure a devastating challenge for our heroes. Can't wait to see how any of this will be dealt with as it certainly seems the high point in intensity is upon us, or at least approaching very quickly.

If I did have to complain about anything, I guess I would say that most of the alpha trolls and even most of the beta trolls barely make an appearance or mean anything. Some get very fun, if small, roles, and the fusion sprites were definitely a fun thing to see, but... man it really feels like we did not need as many characters as we have right now when most of them could have basically had their role merged into a single, other character. I'm not surprised seeing as I found the majority of the alpha trolls to be fairly uninteresting, one-trick joke characters and the story has trouble getting 12 trolls into meaningful positions, let alone 24, but I'm still not sure what the purpose was in even introducing us to so many characters when most will essentially be background characters anyway. Maybe I'll be proven super wrong and they'll be like, the most developed and awesome and complex and important characters ever!!!! (but I really doubt it.)

Anyway though, I'm still just having such a blast with homestuck and I'm really happy to be able to say that. We're genuinely in the home stretch now - Act 6 Act 6 with about 2,000 pages remaining. I may just wait until the very end to do another wrapup post and review my time with the work as a whole, that way I can read through with less interruption between the sub-acts, but obviously I'll still be making posts often as I read live, so still look for those :)

[theoutcastrogue]

Hah, I was gonna say that "defending the community" is already a loaded term that needs some examining, and then I realised it was copied from your other post, describing a common bad take on chivalry.

So to answer the question, knights were warriors. (See here for my best effort at a short essay on "what's a knight".) Their main function was to wage war. Is war something that defends communities? Sometimes. Other times war is something that devastates communities. Often the same war does both, and it's a question of which community you root for. And often war devastates the communities of the "winners" too, because in order to win it took away their resources (via taxing or foraging) and maybe their people (via levies), and the only person who truly won is some rich fuck who gets to control/tax a bigger territory.

But let's say that an army comes at ya. Soldiers, raiders, something. That means you need another army to fight them off. "Defending", yes? Well it doesn't have to be knights, now, does it? This isn't a phenomenon strangely exclusive to the parts of medieval europe which had knights, it can happen everywhere. So to the exact same extent that ANY group of fighters (army of soldiers, band of mercenaries, troop of irregulars, band of militia, heap of volunteers) can defend – or attack! –, so can a group of knights.

So who does defend you? Whoever can and wants to!

Will knights defend you? Maybe, if whoever they owe their allegiance to (a baron or a king or a christian military order) tells them to, and they don't say "fuck this shit" and start pillaging on their own.

How about an army of regular or irregular soldiers? Maybe, if the government orders them to, and they don't mutiny or desert.

A band of mercenaries? Maybe, if someone pays them enough, and no one on the other side pays them more.

A band of militia? (That's probably your militia, right? It's self-defence.) Maybe, if they have the resources and manage to organise, and optimistically feel they got a chance of winning, or are desperate and think that losing will be worse than dying.

A heap of volunteers? (like, from elsewhere?) Maybe, if they can, and are sufficiently full of fervour for whatever cause happens to align with your defence. Or maybe they fear that if you're defeated, they'll be next.

See, it's all about material ability and incentives.

And then, the more you zoom in, the hazier it gets. Like, the Knights Hospitaller, aka Knights of St. John, wrestled Rhodes in 1310 and shacked up there. They "defended" the island from pirates, the Ottomans, and the Sultanate of Egypt, until 1522 when the Ottomans prevailed. And the people of Rhodes "generally" supported them. We got letters from elders and such begging them to not abandon them, and to save them from the Turks.

Zooming in, however, the people of Rhodes weren't monolithic! Orthodox Christians (the majority) supported them, but that's because the Ottomans would be worse, and with Byzantium gone (and fucked up long before it was gone) there were no other options. Catholic Christians supported them wholeheartedly because they expected to become privileged in the new order. Jews did NOT support them because they'd be better off under the Ottomans actually, I mean they'd still be second-class citizens subjects and additionally taxed as non-Muslims, but they'd be on the whole safer, and more able to advance socially and economically. And Muslims did not support the Knights like at all.

And all of the above are generalisations too (and heavily slanted towards the opinions of the richer, cause they're the ones that got written down). Because religion wasn't the ONLY factor in play, and religious communities weren't monolithic either! You gotta take class into consideration before dreaming to generalise, you gotta do the old and absolutely necessary marxist thing, where first you ask who owns the damn means of production, and you gotta keep in mind the various patron/client relationships and family feuds/alliances which are such a HUGE deal in pre-modern societies.

So even in the relatively straightforward matter of war, who IS "the community"? Who defends whom from whom? When the Ottomans came along, they "defended" the island too, from pirates for starters. And arguably the first ones were the Knights Hopsitaller themselves, those pirates par excellence, who were happily taxing the places they were "defending", and using the dough to fund holy war.

At the end of the day, what ALL these people defended was their revenue. They each had some sort of Us and Them narrative going on, our great religion vs. their primitive superstition, or our good subjects vs their brutish invaders, and undoubtedly many of the people involved believed it, but

the narrative sucked, it was an Us and Them, okay? don't glorify that shit

money makes the world go round, not narratives.

P.S. If "defending the community" is understood in any way other than war, I'm just… summarily throwing the concept away. It doesn't mean anything, or it means anything you want. People will tell you they want to defend their community from crime or drugs or foreigners or drag queens, and they always mean they want to benefit SOME members of their community at the expense of others. It's always been like that, and I will not be gracing that line of thought with an analysis.

I'll just say, when applied to chivalry, the imagery of knights protecting poor oppressed peasants from evil whatever is 100% pop culture and bad pop history bullshit. (Not just contemporary, Sir Walter Scott is also to blame.) From what I've seen, no one who's actually read history supports this, even if they're totally into knights, and chivalry as a (mostly made-up) ideal, and the aesthetic and all that.

Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but if knights weren't defenders of the community, back then, who were?

As with everything, the proper historian's answer is 'impossible to answer unless you're more specific'.

Like defenders of the community against who or what?

In the very specific instance that you're a Leonese burgher worried about the Almoravid army marching through the countryside to lay siege to your city than yeah sure the flower of Christian chivalry might absolutely be your last best hope (still not necessarily a very good one). Against rapacious taxation or oppressive rents and feudal dues? Well if you're lucky some higher noble or monarch might interfere, but we're talking really lucky, depending on the location and era ("Heaven is high and the emperor is far away" was a Chinese proverb, but the sentiment is nigh-on universal). The local church might often sanctuary to fugitives, or it might lead bloody inquisitions or pogroms (and was certainly getting a steady cut of tithes/crusade taxes/indulgences regardless). And so on. Power is power, and it's almost a truism that those most capable of defending a community and equally well-positioned to oppress or exploit it.

...actually, @theoutcastrogue, you're almost certain to be able to give a better positive answer to this than I am, if you've got the time/interest?

[harrysgloves]

Welcome to the family.

story summary: Florence and Harry meet your family.

warnings: Dumb brothers / Language.

a/n: Absolutely HATE editing so that didn't happen. A quick blurb to get back into the swing of writing again since it's been a long time. Always love having ideas for the throuple so if you have any don't be shy! It takes me forever to write but I do read them all, promise! x Trish

REQUESTED:

>>><<<

Your thumb tapped against your pointer finger, then your middle finger, then your ring finger, over and over again in a never ending loop while you counted silently to yourself.

One, two, three… three, two, one.

"What happens when they ask you about your futu-"

Shut up. Stop worrying.

One, you tapped your thumb firmly against your pointer.

"What if they only approve of one but not the other one?"

Two, thumb against your middle finger again.

"What if they think our relationship is weird or unhealthy? Will I care? I always care about what they think but does it really matter when I lov-"

"Love?" Harry sighed, his hand squeezed the inside of your thigh, calling your attention to him. "Gotta get out of your head, yeah."

"Know, H."

"Gonna make Flor nervous if you're like this when she wakes up."

You quickly glanced over your shoulder to make sure the very sleep-deprived blonde who stayed up half the night worrying about this trip, was still sound asleep in the back seat. A small sigh of relief left your lips when you saw her eyes were still closed shut, her chest softly rising and falling.

"Fuck," You mumbled under your breath, your hand gripped tightly around the steering wheel. "I'm sorry, I just- well, I've never had anyone meet all of them before."

He barely had a moment to breathe before you were anxiously rambling off every anxiety-ridden thought that was running through your mind.

"And it's not like this is necessarily a standard relationship and I don't want anyone to be rude on accident and hurt your or Flor's feelings."

"They won't, kitten."

"They probably will."

"And if they do, we'll deal with it." Hjs fingers dug deeper into your thigh for a brief moment, trying his best to softly reassure you from the passenger seat. "We're both really excited to meet them all, everything is going to be fine."

You sighed, hoping that your family could keep it together for one meal. Three hours tops of you being there, maybe less if you could get away with it.

>>>

"About time!" You heard your brother yelling out to you before you had a chance to put the car in park, your middle finger raised high in the air as your car came to a lurching hault.

"That one's Jason, right?"

"Yup, youngest and dumbest one." You rolled your eyes as the hoard of now adult children came filtering out of the house. You were sure talk of you bringing your partners to dinner was the only topic they'd been talking about all day.

"We can leave anytime you want to, okay?"

Your words were meant to be assuring, but they seemed to have the complete opposite effect. Her pretty face deflated at the sound of them. The corners of her lips turned down, deep. That fleeting flash of worry painted her face as well as Harry's. Though, he was much, much, better at hiding it.

"Do you- uhm, do you think they're not going to like us?" She asked through a small voice.

You'd never seen her really, truly, doubt herself before. She was always confident, not in a snobby way, but she was sure of herself. She never needed to worry before, never caring for too long if someone did particularly like her.

Until now.

To Florence, this felt like one of those make-or-break moments in a relationship. After meeting your family, you'd both meet hers, maybe a vacation to see hers and then Harry's in one trip.

Maybe then they could convince you to give up that crummy apartment that you were a bit attached to. You three could have a life together, beyond squeezing in time whenever possible, and it'd start right here.

"No, Flor, of course they're going to like you. I'm just worried that someone will say something really insensitive. Especially, Raph, he can be a real dick when he wants to be."

"Just go in and be yourself. They'll love you." That toothy smile you loved so much spread across his face making his dimples pop. His ring-fingered hand laced through Flor’s soft and delicate thin fingers, pulling them to his lips to kiss lightly. "And you, stop worrying so much, it's going to be a good time."

"Awe, our sweet little voice of reason.” You teased, his green eyes rolled at your comment, an unamused chortle leaving his lips.

“You’re just upset that I always got to calm you two down.”

“‘S right?”

“Yeah.”

“H, what about the Men’s magazine saying you weren’t the most fashionable guy of the year?” Florence questioned from the back, that honey-sweet voice not for a second masking the venom in her words.

“Oi!” The look of complete betrayal painted his face, his voice rising to levels you didn’t know it could go to had you laughing in the seat beside him almost uncontrollably. “You both said we wouldn’t bring that up again.”

“Shouldn’t say we need to be calmed down all the time then.” Florence snipped back but that hint of a playful smile still played at the corner of her lips as she quickly checked her purse to make sure nothing fell out on the drive. “Now come on before I have another freak-out.”

>>>

The house had been the same for as long as you could remember. Your dad, as great as he was, never really got into decorating.

The same red oak hardwood floors that lined the house when you were a child still ran through the entire first floor, up the stairs that you slipped and busted your lip on when you were 6 years old. Over and up onto the second floor where all your bedrooms were when you were kids.

The place was filled with memories, the walls of the house held onto so many stories, both good and bad. You wondered one day if the next person who lived here would question why the piece of trim beside your bedroom door was completely gone or who had drawn a treasure map in the linen closet.

You could have gotten lost in the nostalgia if it wasn’t for the cold sweat of anxiety that laced itself through the front of your hair. Your hands gripped tightly onto both Harry’s and Flor’s as you led them through the front entrance towards the kitchen where you could hear the usual boisterous laughter and chatting from the hoard of siblings you had.

“Finally!” Jason yelled through the noise of everyone before your foot even hit the tile flooring. The complete silence that followed as they all one-by-one turned their heads to your direction made your throat dry.“Thought you three were going to stay in the car the whole time.”

“Leave them alone.” Your dad mumbled as he moved across the kitchen to where you three were standing. Both hands in yours tightened against your own.

“It’s so nice to meet you both, finally.” That warm smile wide on his face, a hint of amusement in his eyes as they traveled down to where your fingers were tightly laced together. “Thought Y/N was never going to bring you ‘round.”

“Dad.” Your eyes widened, giving him the silent sign to stop saying things like that, even though you knew this conversation would be far from over.

“What? It’s true!”

“Yeah, Y/N it’s been six months. We were pretty sure you were lying about them dating you.” Tomás snickered from the other side of the room, adding fuel to the flames.

“You’ve picked her up at Harry’s house before.” Jack rolled his eyes, shoving a piece of food down his throat.

“So?” Tommy questioned, his eyebrows raised as he stared Jack down. “She could be a crazy stalker fan for all we know!”

“She’s definitely crazy.” Raph chuckled, shaking his head.

“Yeah, don’t you remember the time in 6th grade when she-” Jason started, the little shit, you knew he’d been dying to lay out your embarrassing stories for weeks now.

“Okay!” You yelled out before the story could continue.

“No, wait,” Florence piped up from your left side, her hand leaving yours as she glided across the room to the available seat at the breakfast bar. “I’d love to hear that.”

“Me too, actually.” Harry smiled down to you before letting go of your other hand, your dad seizing the moment to clap a hand around his shoulder in the typical dad sort of way as they both walked off to join the rest.

>>>

It had been 3 hours, 3 hours of tale after tale of every questionable moment you had in life blasted out with no care about how mortified you were.

“Then she decided to eat it!”

“Oh no!” Florence whined in disgust, her beautiful eyes judging deep into your soul as Harry laughed wholeheartedly from the other side of you.

“It was a birthday cake!” You reasoned back.

“Made of mud, Y/N.” Raphael stated, your face blistering with heat as everyone giggled again.

“Not that this isn’t great but…” Jason drew out, your heart instantly dropped to your ass at his tone. This was the moment you were worried about. “Aren’t we all supposed to start grilling you two at some point?”

Your pleading for this to not happen at family dinner was drowned out by Florence and Harry’s agreement.

Why the fuck would you agree to this? Was what you were hoping your disbelieving look to both of them conveyed, their hands rested in unison on your thigh, giving reassuring squeezes. Harry’s half shrug and Flor’s sweet smile tried to calm you down but you knew that wasn’t possible, not with your nightmare crew of brothers all patiently waiting to metaphorically pounce on the opportunity to run them off.

“Right then, how does sex work?”

You choked on the air you were breathing, coughing profusely as your face heated. Desperately, you chugged the glass of wine in front of you to stop the fit of shock and the urge to strangle Jason.

“¡Pendejo!” Tomás yelled as an uproar started around the family dinner table.

“I was just asked what everyone was thinking!’

“No one was thinking that!”

“That’s our fucking sister! The last thing I want to think about is her sex life!”

“Is it always like this?” Florence asked from beside you, her face leaned in close to yours to keep everything more private, which was super unnecessary since your brothers were now yelling in multiple languages as loudly as possible.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Is Jack speaking Italian?” Harry leaned over to whisper from beside you, not a hint of being embarrassed or uncomfortable anywhere in either one of them.

“More like cursing but yes.” You quickly reached for the bottle of wine that was in the middle of the table, trying your best to not cause too much motion and catch their attention.

“Why couldn’t you ask them something normal?” Raphael actually stuck up for you, a moment that didn’t happen often. “Like when are you moving in together or are you going to make Y/N finally get her own cat and stop stealing her neighbors.”

“You guys leave Marshmallow out of this!” You jumped forward in your seat, not wanting them to drag that poor cat through this fight. You’d guard him with your life.

“Yes.” Harry’s calm and collected voice broke lowly through the sea of argument.

“What?” You asked, wiping around to see them both wordlessly communicate with each other the way they always had.

“Yeah, we want to get our own cat, eventually.” Harry clarified for the group. Each brother gently sat back down in their seat, eyes wide with curiosity, lines of questions waiting to pour from their mouths.

“Mhm,” Florence hummed, her glass of wine in her other hand sat down on the table in front of her. “Maybe name it Graham Cracker and take it to visit Marshmallow when we finally get this one to agree to move in.”

Your eyes widened, emotions you had a hard time processing bubbled deep within you. You were always too scared to ask where this went past 6 months, a year, 5 years. A part of you assumed, especially since they have both separately told you they love you but you still feared, still had that doubt in the back of your mind.

“What about you know… long term?” Raphael asked, cutting off the welling tears trying their best to build up in your eyes.

“Haven’t forced her to have that conversation yet, she’s a bit skittish.” Harry joked, lightening the mood slightly but you didn’t want to get off-topic, maybe you’d finish this conversation in the car and this was the door that needed to be opened in order to be more vulnerable with them.

“What happens when Y/N gets her next movie deal and has to travel for work?” Ralph the detective asked again but your eyes were constantly bouncing between the both of them. Each one sat cool and calm like they’d known the answers without having to think about them, without having to search for anything to say because the answers were already written into their own hearts.

“We’ll figure it out, just like we’re figuring out how to deal with the media, tour dates, and family. Not going to be easy, but…”

“We’ll figure it out together.” Harry finished the sentence Flor had started and suddenly, it felt like you were the only three in the room, the words leaving your mouth without a single care about your family hearing you declare them.

“I love you.”

“Welcome to the family, you two.” Your dad’s joyful voice plopped you back into reality, your brothers all agreeing with the words he’d said but you could only think of one thing: You couldn’t wait to tell them over and over again, ‘I love you'.

[thewickedkat]

the descriptors of hubris and pride and careless and reckless have already been run into the ground when it comes to Avalir's relationship with the gods. we all of us know what's coming. we know that Laerryn wants to go to another plane--not a specific one, just sort of an 'anywhere but here' vibe. we know Asmodeus now has his hooks in Zerxus just by wearing a pretty face and talking sweetly, a bird faking a broken wing. Loquatius has his own secrets (what the fuck was that 32, Sam), Patia wants power and equates knowledge with that end; and Hollow and her cronies are doing gods only know what for whatever reason.

the interesting part is why and how.

why? because why not, really. they call the prime material plane boring (except Quay, who is the only one who's experienced another plane), as if they've already sucked out all the marrow from this one. what a joyless perspective, really.

i cannot believe that Laerryn and Patia seem to think that the one salient difference between mages and gods is a matter of...location. certainly not magical magnitude, don't be silly. surely it's accessibility to worlds other than these.

what they're proposing here is like Painfully New Money moving to a very old gated community. or like moving from North America to Australia and expecting to magically be a different person upon arrival. nope, sorry, tou're still the same sad sack of mortal meat you were before.

they saw those tumours in Chloras' body and rather missed the point. there is a point to what amount of power is safe for mortals, Brennan said. that tumour-ridden corpse was evidence of what a god can do whilst in prison. the Ring of Brass did not even pause at that.

the difference between mages of any sort and the gods is both a matter of power and perspective. their spheres and demesnes aren't only arcane and natural magic; they also can see into mortal hearts, pluck at the interconnected threads between people, prey on our fears, send us hope or plunge us into despair, all on a visceral level. the gods see things on a level that mortals simply cannot because their brains cannot handle it. the glimpses of power these mages see are the dictionary definition of awesome, and the old definition of awful--as in full of awe, something great and terrible, so huge mortals don't have words for it. ants looking at and briefly understanding the power grid of a city of 100k people before going back to being an ant with only a strange maddening echo of what they'd seen.

the mages of the flying cities are like toddlers running around in missile silos brute-forcing a computer to give them the launch codes.

they were given warning in a way they would understand. but they called Karwen mad, because of course that has to be false, of course it's wrong, of fucking course it can't happen to them. they're the wizards of Avalir! with everything at their disposal, with all the power they have, nothing like that can happen to them!

(sidebar: we as real-life folks know exactly where that level of hubris gets us. it gets a lot of us dead and still balls-deep in a fucking pandemic. but we all know that particular story.)

on a fandom level (and i know i'm risking a lot here but you know what? bah.), i genuinely don't get how some seem to be sliding toward the Great Asmodeus Woobification and, further, that maybe the Betrayers Had A Point, Really, because--

have these folks looked at any of the Betrayers' spheres of influence? truly looked and understood? because if Azzy had a point, then the Chained goddam Oblivion had a point as well, and i do not see any kind of logic in that. not even monster-logic, despite Azzy's pretty pretty speech to Zerxus about his 'gifts' to mortalkind. i'm all for fleshing out the understanding of the gods in Exandria and supplementing the dogma we're familiar with, but i don't have to agree that any of their reasons for betrayal were valid. maybe i'm biased because i'm mortal, i dunno.

it's easy for us to think of the Primes as 'good.' for they are more benevolent than the alternative; after all, how does it behoove mortals to worship at the feet of hungry entropy personified? i'm a fan of entropy myself but for fuck's sake, i like life better than...nothingness. the Primes allow mortals to benefit from magic and the world--the Dawnfather gives sunlight and nourishes life; the Wildmother allows crops to flourish and feed people; the Matron oversees a feared but very necessary realm of death and the threads of fate. they are seen as good and nice. and good is often mistaken for kind, and as if the gods oversee us, mortals, as actual children to be tended and minded.

good does not mean kind. the sun can desiccate, can burn us to cinders. nature can strangle with vines or can be embodied in a tsunami that wipes a city from the world. change can be capricious. knowledge can definitely be used to hurt and wound. is any of that kind? is any of it nice? when Zerxus first saw Asmodeus and Pelor, the first was 'as large as a mountain;' the latter literally has a star for a head. go outside and stare barefaced into the sun for fifteen minutes and then tell me the subsequent damage is good.

the gods do have codes of ethics, possibly delineated by their demesnes and thus restricted by them, but ethics nonetheless. but mortals simply can't grok them all. the easiest term to describe them is 'amoral' but they do have morals. they're just on a scale mortals can't appreciate.

Azzy might care about mortals insofar as what they can do for him and how he can extort them. Pelor and the rest of the Primes might as well, as far as mortals can keep them strong and fed on belief and faith (as evidenced by Pike reminding mortals of Sarenrae's light and redemption after she had been near-forgotten; the Everlight was weak and had faded). but the definitions of 'good' and 'bad' only exist in comparison to one another (this is the only salient point i will concede to Asmodeus ever; even the worst fuckhead in the world can find a nut, or however the metaphor goes), and mortals aren't built for what the gods see. which is exactly why the Raven Queen was like 'yeah i agree with y'all, no one should ever do this again ever.'

it doesn't matter of the Betrayers had a point or not. what matters, ultimately, is they're not beings i would wanna have for a sleepover in my living room, despite finding their drama very very interesting.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙰𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚣 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜: 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚂𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚑𝚠𝚊

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, encouraging, justifying, promoting nor romanticizing yandere behavior or lifestyle. This is all a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

Warnings: Mentions of toxic relationships, violence, degradation, physical/mental abuse, kidnapping, hostage holding, self-harm, attempted murder and other yandere behavior. Read at your own discretion.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎: 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚂𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚑𝚠𝚊

𝙳.𝙾.𝙱: 𝙰𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚕 𝟹𝚛𝚍, 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟾

𝙷𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝟷𝟽𝟾 𝙲𝙼/ 𝟻'𝟷𝟶 𝙵𝚃.

𝙰𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■■100%

𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■■100%

𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢: ■■■■□90%

𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: 𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝙳𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚜:

𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑 𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚢.

𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚕 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝.

𝙽𝚘 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚜𝚊𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚍𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜.

𝙱𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗.

𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝.

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He was the school's and the town's heartthrob.

From the time he was young, every girl was in love with him and every boy wanted to be him.

From the tenderest of age, old folks were praising how cute and adorable he was.

That's just how Park Seonghwa grew up, being admired and loved by everyone around him. He was so used to his little club of adoring fans.

He dated, or more like, messed around with more than a couple of girls in his classes.

Not a single one of them was immune to his charms, even if at first they said they'd never ever fall for him. They always fell like dominoes.

And then the day finally came....The day someone ignored him, the day someone didn't worship the ground he walked on.....

The day someone not only refused but humiliated him in front of others.

You had recently moved into the small town, wanting to get away from all the bustling and, in your opinion, futile life of the city.

So you moved somewhere more quiet, serene, calm.

You only wanted a nice and comfortable life, and with the small but sturdy job you accepted, it allowed you to have a comfortable living.

For a while, no one really noticed or payed the to you, and those that did were wary of you.

You couldn't blame them. A stranger suddenly moves into their town? Of course they'd be careful.

You were very observant and in that time you observed Seonghwa.

He was good looking you had to admit, but he had come into the shop with a girl by his side which suggested to you they were an item.

Meaning he was off limits so you didn't bother to think about him.

But then he came in weeks later with a different girl, which threw you off a little.

And then a different girl, then another and you saw the pattern.

You shook your head and cringed at him. "Fuck boi." You muttered every time you saw him.

It didn't take long for him to hear about the new girl in town.

Which to him meant another heart to steal and a pair of legs to open and add to his collection.

He was with his friends, who were anxious to see what would happen.

You saw him confidently stride up to you, cocky grin on his face as his eyes looked you up and down. You internally scoffed.

"Don't think you can easily play me boy." You resolved in your head to wipe that smirk off.

"Hey gorgeous. Come here often?" He winked at you.

"I work here." You responded with absolutely no emotion or expression, barely giving him a glance as you arranged the shelves in the store.

He moved so you could see him better, thinking it would cause you to melt, but you just stared straight at him as if he wasn't there.

"If you need any assistance, please ask one of the managers. I only stock the merchandise."

You had to hold back from laughing at his shocked face, probably because no girl had ever not blushed or become flustered from his close proximity.

You moved away from him to put some articles on the next aisle.

Not giving up, Seonghwa followed after you, his friends trailing close behind you.

He tapped your shoulder to get your attention again.

For the first time in his life, a girl glared at him as if he was no more than a bug....

That was strike one for him.

"Listen...... I.......just wanted to get your number?" He couldn't believe that he was actually sweating nervously.

"Sorry. I don't give my number to strangers." You stated.

Seeing an opportunity, Seonghwa smiled flirtatiously at you.

"Well then maybe I should take you out. Then we won't be strangers. Maybe we could even get...really close." He licked his lips.

His face froze when he saw you roll your eyes at him.

That was strike two.

"Thank you but no. And if you'll excuse me."

You moved to leave him there again, but his hand reached out and gripped your wrist, a little too rough for your liking.

"Come on darling...no one's ever said no to me."

Yanking your hand away, you looked at him with disgust as you told him:

"I believe I just did."

Those words and the snorts and giggles from his friends behind him were strike three for him.

In that moment something snapped in him.

How dare someone like you reject him? The Park Seonghwa.

He was so stunned by your actions that he couldn't get you out of his mind from then on.

He no longer looked at any other girls.

His thoughts were fixated on you and only you.

He had to win you over, he just had to.

You were the ultimate challenge and he was going to make sure he was victorious.

But you made it so damn difficult.

Every. Single. Time.

You never hid how much he annoyed you and that pissed him off so much.

Days turned to a month, then 3 and still you kept refusing him.

The final straw for him was when he tried gifting you a rather expensive necklace that would have anyone else swooning.

Not batting a wink, you threw the case back to him.

"I'm not some whore you can buy for the night just cause you feel like it. Go find someone else to be your toy, fuckboi."

He gripped the case so harshly it actually bent, eyes staring daggers at you as you walked home.

"You're not getting away so easily. You're going to regret this."

You were surprised when you didn't see Seonghwa the next day..

Or for an entire week.

But you shrugged it off, perhaps he had finally learned his lesson and opted for leaving you alone.

Walking home, you couldn't help but feel like something eerie was going to happen.

You tried ignoring it by plugging in your headphones and just head home as soon as possible. It was dark and cold.

You weren't paying attention to your surroundings so you didn't see nor hear the car that was heading straight to you.

You only felt something knock you to the ground, immediately passing out from your head hitting the pavement.

The driver got out of the vehicle, his dark orbs staring down at your unconscious figure.

Bending down, he tilted your chin to look at your bloody face.

"I told you would regret this."

You woke up sore and with a pounding headache days later.

But more than anything, you woke up frightened when you saw you were chained down on a chair, wrists bound on the arm rests and feet tied to the legs.

Who the hell would kidnap you?

Your answer came in the form of Seonghwa himself, coming into the dimly lit basement where he held you.

He smirked as he saw you swallow harshly when he came close to you, face bending down at eye level to you.

"You can get out of this whole mess you know...."

Cupping your chin, he brought his lips dangerously close to yours.

"Just give in to me and agree to be mine."

You swore this had to be a joke. He'd go through all this trouble just for this shit?

Unable to stand his close proximity, you opted for showing your contempt for him by spitting on his face........something he did not take kindly to.

He looked at you as if you committed a heinous crime. And he wasn't going to let you get away with it.

Lifting your face up, he slapped you several times across the face, not satisfied until your nose was bleeding and your cheeks were stinging so badly, there was going to be bruising for sure.

You cried out when he harshly gripped your burning cheeks, adding even more pain.

"Sooner or later, you'll have to give in. The more you resist, the worse it'll get."

He left you there for 3 days, or a week. You honestly couldn't remember, you were going in and out of consciousness for a while.

When he finally let you out, you thought he'd be a little more nicer to you, but you were wrong.

Things only got worse.

You were being treated worse than an animal.

You couldn't walk anywhere, you had to crawl. You weren't allowed to use utensils for food, nor your hands.

The first time you tried to refuse to these rules, Seonghwa shoved you to the floor and dragged you by the hair across the hallway.

And as for food, he smashed your face into the bowl, you were surprised it didn't break from how hard he did it.

You could never look him in the eye or else you'd get struck across the cheek.

"Never look your betters in the eye. You should be grateful I even spare a glance at such a lowlife like you."

He lived, no...he thrived out of humiliating you.

It was sickening to know that such an individual could hate someone so much to go out of their way to try and dominate them to such an extent.

The times he was actually being 'nice' to you, his voice was filled with mock pity, talking to you as if you were his little pet.

It was those times where you truly couldn't hold back and glared at him.

And it always end with you back in the basement, stripped naked, and left there for days in the cold, body bleeding and sore from the canning he gave you.

And everytime he came back, he'd always say the same thing:

"You could end all of this if only you'd love me."

More than once you thought about giving in, even if just pretending.

He couldn't possibly treat you any worse than he did now.

But your inner strength, independence and repulsion from him kept you from giving in.

You'd rather die than ever let Park Seonghwa win and give him that. satisfaction.

But the day you found out you were pregnant with his kid, you knew you had to get out of there.

You were not going to allow a child to be raised by a monster.

You never told him anything, he couldn't know. You even resorted to cutting yourself so he'd believe you were still menstruating.

And for months you played it nice, obeyed him so he wouldn't cause you harm or to the baby.

He actually began to soften up, thinking he had finally broken you into the perfect lover he imagined.

"Fucking idiot."

That was the exact thing you thought when you finally allowed him to kiss you, instead of the forced ones he'd usually give you.

Taking advantage that his guard was down, you pulled out the knife you had hidden and didn't hesitate to plunge it on his side.

He pulled back in shock, but had no time to react because you just took out the knife and plunged it back in...

Over and over again until he layed unconscious on the floor.

Blood was everywhere and you honestly couldn't believe you did that.

Choking back the tears, you scrambled to find anything that could help you break the lock, which you eventually found.

You ran out of that place, never looking back.

You didn't run into the direction of the town, people would be too suspicious.

You ran towards the direction of the highway, hoping someone would find you and take you to the nearest hospital or police station.

It seemed luck was on your side as a woman immediately stopped when she saw you running.

She didn't hesitate to help you out, taking you to a hospital so you could get checked up.

You lied and simply said you had been kidnapped and managed to escape, feigning that you don't remember who your kidnapper was.

The police bought your story and more so dropped the interrogation when you said you didn't want to press charges and just wanted to lay low for a while.

You moved all the way across the country, far far away from the place of hell you were in.

You quickly got a job and a small, but comfortable home to raise your newborn daughter in.

She was such a cute and beautiful baby, looking like an exact replica of her father which somewhat haunted you but you pushed those thoughts aside.

Time had passed, you were safe, she was safe and almost a year old, and you'd never have to worry about that insane man ever again.........

So you believed.

Unaware of the piercing eyes that were looking through your opened window, staring at you as you fed yours and his baby.

"You'll love me in the end....."

[nishisun]

suna rintaro is NOT a genius.

summary: you loved the idea of soulmates. suna rintaro didn’t. it isn’t that hard to put two and two together to realize that maybe people with different opinions on things don’t belong together.

part 2

a/n: this was literally supposed to be a series, i gave up on it because i just didn’t like the way it turned out. it used to be called “out of my league” and this was the intro. i also renamed it. just emptying drafts!! please don’t get confused with the random timeskip, once again, this was a part of a series i never ended up posting😭

WARNING!!: suggestive themes, mentions of death, idk kinda angsty but tell me if i missed anything

Soulmates. Whatever the hell that means. The idea of soulmates is something I truly don’t understand. It’s bullshit, honestly. It’s all-pervasive.

My mother always told me I'd eventually find "the one.” I used to believe that when I was younger of course. But in my opinion? It’s all cliches. It's unhelpful, and it's certainly not true. Destiny is an excuse for the weak. Why do you think most marriages end in divorce? It's 'cause people who believe they are “destined to be" assume everything will fall into place without any effort. I don't appreciate people pontificating bullshit like that just to make me feel better, especially if they haven't found their "soulmate" themselves. My sister once told me, “People who believe in soulmates are more likely to break up and encounter more difficulty in their relationship, which will lead them to give up on one another eventually.”

I sure do believe that.

My mother is a prime example. Fumeiko Suna, my dear mother. Well, she clearly hasn’t found hers. I found out when I came home after a tedious day of school in 5th grade and found my dear mother on the floor crying, with bruises all over her face and a busted lip.

Initially, I thought a burglar had broken into our home once again, but if that were the case then there would’ve been missing furniture. But there wasn’t.

In fact, the place seemed cleaner than usual. When I ran up to her and asked her what had happened, there he was. The devil himself. My father. He reeked of alcohol, and I could detect his shadow towering over me. It’s funny how that I think of it. I used to fear that son of a bitch. Now, I’m way taller than him, and hate his guts. I turned around to see a faux-sympathetic smile plastered on his face.

He explained how my mother was being “clumsy” and had fell and busted her lip on one of the corners of the kitchen table and when I turned back around to face my mother, she smiled gently and nodded in agreement. She didn’t say anything after that.

It was then I realized my father had beat my mother to a pulp.

Long story short, when I found it was my father, sure, I was frightened. In fact, I remember going into my siblings’ rooms to inform them, they shrugged it off and told me that dad had been doing it for a while now.

Over time, when my dad had found out that I was aware, he didn't mind beating the absolute shit out of my mother in front of all three of us. This was when my burning hatred for that man started. Nobody in the house even attempted to stop him. I did a few times, though. He took all his anger out on me. At least my mom had a break for the day.

I almost pitied my mother. Almost. Maybe if she was strong enough to leave him, then yeah, I’d feel bad. But she still decides to stay with his sorry ass. It’s pathetic. It’s unrequited love or whatever you call it. How could she still love that asshole?

I mean, I’m not even going to lie, I’m an asshole too, but I’m definitely not my dad. I would never want to be him. He’s not someone I looked up to, he doesn’t do anything inspirational. He’s a businessman. He travels the majority of the time, and I’m pretty sure my mom invites men over when he’s gone. I don’t care enough to find out. But if I ever hear some guy rearranging my mom’s guts, I’ll kill him. I don’t even blame my mother. What she’s doing is wrong, she knows it and so do both of my older siblings. But they don't seem to care so why should I?

Who knows why she just won’t leave him. Maybe it’s cause they don’t want to ruin how people view our “picture perfect” family. I wonder what they’d say. “I thought the Suna’s were the ideal family? I guess not.”

My dad would probably lose it if he heard that.

Both my mother and my father are the cause of this broken family of mine. They never fed me or any of my siblings the love we always desired when we were younger. They never came to any of my volleyball games when I was younger. They never applauded me for the little recitals we’d have in class in primary school. They were never even here for most of my childhood. They always put money first and left us with the housekeepers. Hell, the housekeepers probably know me better than my own parents.They failed as parents. I despise them for it. They’re most likely the reason I am the way I am, but to be honest?

I don’t give a fuck.

In fact, I should thank them! Because of how they “raised” me, i’m extremely blunt, which is why people respect me. I use the hatred I have for my family and take it out on people and no, I’m not proud of that. I may be a heartless asshole, but I like that people fear me. The hell? Does that make me a sadist? Either way, people know to never fuck with me cause I’d fuck their shit up. I’ve overheard many people say it’s ‘cause of my privilege. It probably is. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can buy you many other things.

If my parents were broke, I’d probably be expelled from school by now. Abuse of alcohol and drugs are forbidden on school property. I don’t even take them at school, I somewhat care about my education and health, but sometimes I just need to blow some steam. Even if I did, nobody’s gonna say shit since my dad is the head of Japan’s board of education. How did his ass even get there?

Call me lonely or cynical. Maybe I am. But how is that a bad thing? Why do people need a significant other to rely on? What, a soulmate is just going to turn my life upside down then suddenly bring me happiness? Pfft, I’m gonna need actual proof that shit like that still happens. I’ve only seen shit like that in fairy tale movies. It’s whatever, though. I can live with being alone. I’ve basically been alone my whole life and it isn’t as bad as people make it.

You loved the idea of having a soulmate. The thought of meeting someone who just understood you, accepted you for who you were, and most importantly, loved you excited you. You couldn’t wait to meet your soulmate.

But recently, you weren’t sure soulmates existed.

When your older sister, Akira, came into your room and burst into tears, it frightened you. Your older sister, the one who’d always provide you advice on relationships and how to keep one was in your room sobbing hysterically because hers hadn’t worked out.

“I just can't believe it,” she sobbed.

You couldn’t believe it either. Your sister had recently gotten engaged to her boyfriend of 9 years. They started dating at the age of 15 and managed to make things work out even after high school, and out of all those years of dating, they never broke up. Not even once.

They’d go on romantic dates on Saturdays and they’d always write love letters to one another every day, just to remind one another of how grateful they were to have each other in their lives. On Halloween, they’d dress up as fictional characters from TV shows and books and take cute selfies and bake a bunch of sweets. They’d invite you to come bake with them, but you would politely deny. You knew they were only offering so you wouldn’t feel left out, which you appreciated.

Of course, they’d argue every now and then, but at the end of the day, they always managed to talk things out. Oh to have a relationship like theirs. They were everything you wanted to have in a relationship and more.

“I really thought he was the one for me, y’know?” No, you don’t know. But that doesn't matter. What mattered was cheering your sister up.

“Maybe he wasn’t ‘the one’ Akira, and that’s okay! People come and go all the time, soulmates come and go all the time as well-”

“You still believe soulmates are real, huh?” she let out a humorless laugh and sniffed her nose, “What If I missed my one shot at love, Y/N? What if I lost my soulmate?”

That’s some deep shit.

Now that you think about it, were soulmates real? Soulmates come and go, yes, you’re aware of that, but even though they leave, it’s always temporary. Soulmates always find a way back to their other half, the piece that completes them.

Your dad never made it back to your mother.

He died in a car crash 5 years ago. Your mother and father had been arguing because she claimed your father was cheating on her since he wouldn’t let her check his phone.

You were 13 at the time. Your sister Akira was accompanying you in your room, listening to them arguing back and forth with one another. There was furniture flying across the room, glass breaking, and both of them throwing curses at each other. You were scared. They never argued in front of you and your sister. They'd bicker sometimes, but it was never anything too deep.

Eventually, your father had enough of your mother’s false accusations, and out of anger, he packed his things and left home. For weeks. It wasn’t until one of your uncles called your mother and broke the news. She didn’t take it very well.

Late 2012-early 2013.

Not many people came to your father’s funeral, his family didn’t like the fact that he and your mother were together, they said your mother was trouble, but your dad still stayed with her, even if that meant it would completely destroy the bond he had with his family. Now that’s true love, you had thought. Only your mother, Akira, the Sunas, your uncle, and you, of course, attended the funeral.

It hurt a lot. It hurt when your mother informed both your grandparents on your mother and father’s side and all they could do is put the blame on her. It hurt how they had claimed you, Akira and your mother were a hindrance to your dear father’s well-being. How could they be so cruel at a time like this?

That was the first time you ever questioned if soulmates were real. Maybe they fell in love at the wrong time? Who knows.

After your father’s passing, Fumiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, was there to help your family out financially. Your mother couldn’t even find the motivating to go to work. Your mother and Fumiko have been best friends since junior high, they’ve literally been inseparable ever since. In fact, after they both got married, they decided to live right next to each other.

Your mom didn’t cope with your father’s death very well; none of you did. But your mom had it the worst.

She would cope with alcohol and clubbing which would always result in her bringing different men home almost every night. You didn’t say much about it, you thought it would be selfish to since that’s what seemed to make your mother feel better about herself, but your sister hated it. She was already 19 and in college at the time, but when she visited and found out that your mother had basically been neglecting you, she was furious.

“Seriously, mom? This is what you’re gonna do while your 13-year-old daughter is in her room having a literal mental breakdown because of your childish behavior?” Your sister had barged into your mother’s room when she thought you were asleep, she was screaming loud.

“You’re interrupting something important, Akira. You know better than to-”

“Oh, shut the hell up mom. You’re the last person on earth to be saying shit like that.”

“Well, if you’re done, you can leave my room now. You’re being disrespectful, and this behavior is not tolerated!” Your mother was screaming now. The man in the bed covering his body under the covers and looking back and forth between Akira and your mother.

“Sakiya, maybe you should hear your daughter out-”

“Not now.” your mother scarcely interrupted the man, eye contact never leaving Akira. “Y/N has never complained about this when you were in college. She knows this is my way of coping, why can’t you understand that too!”

Akira scoffed. “So what, getting fucked by random strangers you find on the filthy streets is your way of coping? Getting wasted every damn night to the point where Y/N has to drag you up to bed is okay with you? Do you even know how much this is affecting Y/N? Did you even bother asking her how she felt? I hate breaking it to you mom, but you need serious help.”

“You selfish child!” Your mother screamed, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her body, getting up from the bed. “How dare you say that to your own mother?”

“I’m only telling the truth! If you’re the mother, then it’s your job to be taking care of Y/N, not neglecting her. When’s the last time you’ve engross in an actual conversation with her when you were fully sober?”

Your mother was silent. She quickly walked up to Akira and grabbed her by the hair and slammed her headfirst against the wall.

“You’ve got a big mouth! Maybe I should wash it with soap like I did back in the day, hm?” Akira was attempting to push her mother away, but she wouldn’t let go of her grip. The man that was still on your mother’s bed was in panic, yelling her name, which didn’t have any effect. He might as well stop.

"Look," Akira mumbled, struggling to get away from your mother's grip, "I know it's been hard ever since dad left-"

“Mom! Let go of her!” You cried from the door of her room.

All 3 adults froze and looked at your glassy eyes, mouths wide open.

“Hey, kiddo, I thought you were asleep?” Akira playfully said, your mother let go of Akira and crossed her arms then looked away from you.

“Well, I can't really go to sleep when there’s a bunch of adults yelling about my well-being,” you muttered incoherently. You quickly wiped the uncontrollable tears off your face and sighed.

“Honey,” your mom started, she walked slowly to you, carefully examined your face, and attempted to hug you, but you didn’t accept the offer which made your mother frown. She stopped walking until she was almost face to face with you and placed a hand on your shoulder gently. “Baby, your sister told me that you weren’t happy. Is this true?”

You looked away from her and stared dully at the floor, subtly shifting your feet, then you softly shook your head “no.”

“See Akira, Y/N is happy. So please stop stressing her out.” Your mother said through gritted teeth, then faced you once again. “Y/N honey, how about I go tuck you into bed, hm? I’m so sorry for the excessive noise that was caused.”

“Mom, how clueless can you be? Y/N looks miserable! It’s unhealthy for Y/N to be living-“

Slap.

Your mother just slapped Akira on the face.

“I know what’s best for my daughter! I am her mother! You are not the one who should be telling me how to take care of my own kid!”

“That’s enough, Sakiya.” a familiar voice said from the door.

“Fumeiko-“

“It’s fine. Sakiya, we need to talk.” It was Fumeiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, also known as your next door neighbor. She had been standing in the hallways the whole time, you didn’t even know she was there. Akira was the one who called her over.

That night your mother agreed to get help for her drinking problem. She was gone for 6 months. During those 6 months, the Suna’s took you in since Akira would be in college and you couldn’t have been more grateful.

You and Rintaro were the only kids in the house, being that you both were the same age and the others were in college. It was okay, they were all very polite, dinners were awkward, you could feel some sort of tension between the family but you didn’t pay any attention to it.

When your mom finally came back, it was awkward at first. She still seemed the same, loving and caring, just sober and free of alcohol. It was nice. You two spent the weekends bonding at the mall, watching a movie, or even getting your nails done. Eventually, she gained your trust back, and you couldn’t have been happier.

January 2017.

“Akira, don’t say that. You may not believe me now, but you are such an amazing person, don’t ever think you’ll never find love again. It’s all about having a positive mindset!” you said, thoughtfully stroking her hair as her head laid on your chest.

“I told you that.”

“You did,” you chuckled, “you should take your own advice.

“Oh, shut up!” you both laughed, and Akira let out a shaky sigh. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Of course, you don't need to thank me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

— so this is one of the writings that i wrote in January 😭 it’s been in my drafts and i re-read it once and instantly hated it right after. if there’s any typos please tell me!!

— also i wanna apologize again for putting gmds on hiatus,, i feel so bad 😭 i wanna make it up to you guys but idk how so if you have suggestions pls tell me

[wastelandnarry]

Don’t You Remember? - hes

summary: You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said, no final kiss to seal any sins.

author’s notes: Hi everyone! Thanks for the support on kiss in the kitchen! This is inspired by Adele’s Don’t You Remember, I hope you enjoy!

warnings: mentions of infidelity, mentions of alcohol, angst

request || taglist

If you were being truthful, which most of the time was a hard thing to do, you were full of bitterness and a cold heart sat in your chest. You'd been hurt before, more times than you could count, and had decided that the next time love came around in your life you would not hesitate to kick it back. Your last long-term relationship, which had ended when they'd decided an adventure was calling their name and you had no ticket with them, had left you in pieces. It had left you bouncing from bed to bed, leaving your mark on stranger's lives, but you'd disappeared before the morning sun rose, leaving them alone and cold in a bed you'd forget about before dinnertime. 

But then you met Harry. 

Harry was warm and he made your heart race with every touch he left on your skin. He was golden and beautiful, leaving you breathless as you gazed at him at your side. He was the warm spots in a sunny field where you'd spend all day if you could, reading a book as the breeze blew through your hair on the summer evenings. His smile was addicting and you found yourself stealing it onto your own face a lot of the time. It was as if a force unknown had brought you two together and the world had burst into color. Harry had come into your life like a storm that a drought had desperately needed. He'd stormed in and refused to leave, no matter how fickle your heart had been, he'd stayed and a part of you had been grateful for it. 

It hadn't been a stable relationship, not at all. You'd both been hurt before in the past and that had made it hard for both of you to truly trust each other. It meant that sometimes moments would go from sweet and innocent to cold and distant. It meant that nights together were spent in a tense silence sometimes, or that they'd be cut short before things escalated too far. But you both felt something for one another, something so deep and passionate it spiked fear in your heart. A fear that it was all too good to be true and it was only a matter of time before things blew up like you were used to. 

"Do you think we should go out for dinner? Or maybe we could order in," Harry's voice broke your concentration, your eyes looking up from the computer screen and finding his. 

"Huh? Oh, maybe we should just stay in? It looks pretty shitty outside anyways," you shrugged, your eyes falling back onto the screen as you skimmed through the emails your boss had sent you. 

"Yeah, guess so. And if we go out we won't have a lot of privacy, don't want our last night together for a bit to be full of people wanting pictures," he sighed and shrugged. 

"What? Last night together? What're you on about, Harry?" you frowned, your eyes shooting back up to watch him move around the living room. 

"I leave tomorrow?" Harry chuckled and looked at you with a confused look on his face, "I have to go to Paris to film for a month, remember?"

"That's tomorrow?" you asked and frowned, shaking your head, "I thought you said that was happening in July?" you scoffed. 

"No, we finish shooting in July," he mumbled and sighed, "But you of course weren't paying attention, all you care about is it affects your own life." 

You'd both frozen as the words left his mouth, both too afraid of what would come next if you truly spoke your mind. Yes, you were a bit forgetful when it came to Harry's schedule, but his life had always been hectic, and trying to plan your life around his seemed impossible most of the time.  He'd be gone for weeks on end with no contact and the only way you knew he was safe and alive was when the internet told you so. Your jaw was clenched as you watched him, frozen in place near the entrance of the kitchen. 

"You know what? You're right. I'm just a selfish bitch who only worries about herself and not the fact that her so-called boyfriend is going to be gone for another month," you scoffed as you stood up, sliding on the shoes you'd set by the end of the coffee table, "I hope you have a fucking amazing time in Paris, make sure not to stare at yourself in the mirror too long." you muttered, grabbing your bag as you made your way out of Harry's house. 

You could've stopped and talked it out, like adults, but in all honestly, it had been exhausting already. Every time Harry had to leave for work there was always something he was upset about. At first, it was how distant you became when the day of his departure got closer. Then it was the fact that you always texted him while he was away, something he'd asked you to do in the first place. And now, it was you forgetting his oh-so-important schedule. It was exhausting, trying to talk things out when you knew it never mattered because it was just a matter of time before something new came up between the both of you. So you walked out the door, hoping that maybe Harry would follow after you and for once try to fix this himself, only to be left sitting in your car alone. 

Days turned to weeks and soon enough, two months had passed since you had last spoken to Harry. The spring weather had turned hotter as July rolled in and the hot days became unbearable. Most of your days off were spent trying to distract yourself from the pain in your chest, the pain that had come with the absence of Harry. He hadn't called you since that night when you'd walked out, hadn't tried to text, facetime you, or even email you. He'd left you with silence and it was all because you'd walked out. 

"You always do this to yourself," you thought as you jogged through the empty park, your forehead  shining with the sweat you'd worked up, "You push people and then blame them when they don't come back to you." 

It was true, this hadn't been the first time a relationship had gone to shit because of your fear of getting close. That's all the fight with Harry had been, an excuse to push him away so that you wouldn't end up on the floor with your crushed up heart. Not that it had helped much, but at least you'd ended things in a way that hadn't crushed your entire soul. But finding distractions became harder and harder as the days went on, everything was just so...Harry. 

Some nights, when your favorite bottle of wine ad tempted you into a glass or two, or three, you'd find yourself sitting on the sofa in your apartment. You'd relived that night more time than you could remember, frowning as you couldn't remember whether you'd both said goodbye. That was what had hurt the most, knowing that you loved Harry and through your fear of it, you never even said goodbye or had that final kiss. You'd just left and hoped you'd see him again. 

"Um, hi Harry," you mumbled into your phone, staring up at the ceiling as you took a few seconds to collect your mind. 

Maybe the wine had given you the courage that you didn't know existed, or maybe the pain in your chest from finally realizing he was gone had kicked you into gear. You'd picked up the phone and clicked on his contact, seeing the smiley picture he'd taken one of the first tines you'd hung out as his contact, before calling him up. You'd hoped he was back, not wanting him to be across an ocean where the sun was high in the sky and his voice would answer back. You wouldn't know what to do if he'd actually answered, so his voicemail message had you letting out a sigh of relief. 

"I know that things were left rather...shitty," you mumbled, chewing on your bottom lip as you sorted through your thoughts, "But I just, I want you to know that I think about where it went wrong a lot these days. I thought that if I gave us space and let us both clear our heads we'd be able to fix whatever this is."

It was true, you'd wanted to give him the space to process the fight. You two hadn't been exclusive, something you'd both been pretty open about since the beginning, but you still loved him no matter how much it terrified you. You'd given him the space to breathe and figure out if you and all your issues would be worth it. And now that there had been radio silence for weeks, you decided getting your own closure would send him the message that you understood. 

"I just...I hope you remember the way it was during the good times," you said, the crack in your voice replaced by you clearing your throat, "How soft and whole it was. You made me...gosh, I don't think I've ever felt so loved in my life before."

Loving Harry had always been something you were terrified to admit to yourself. It still was in a way, but you knew you had to tell him the truth, even if it fell on deaf ears. He deserved to know that he was loved and that it was by you. That even if the silence between you two lasted until your last breathes were taken, you had loved him and it had been a privilege to do so. No matter how bad things had ended and no matter if he'd felt the same, you'd loved him and if he gave you the chance, you would love him still. 

"I hope you still think of me, maybe that's why I get this warm feeling sometimes when I'm alone. Maybe it's you thinking about us. I hope I see you again soon, bub," you sighed quietly, holding back the tears as your voice began to shake, "I love you." 

It wasn't until the call was hung up and your phone laid across from you on the coffee table that you let the tears fall. It'd been a mess from the beginning, casual hookups which led to more and more time spent together. Maybe if you had tried hard enough to work on you fears or maybe if you'd let him in more than you shut him out he'd still be here. But with your voicemail sent and your cheeks wet from tears, you decided all you could do was hope Harry would listen to the voicemail. And maybe, just maybe, he'd remember you just once more.

taglist: @hrrypinks​ @matchacal

[mangoofthesea]

Warning for a semi personal very angry and longer than I intended rant about people's opinions on domestic abuse, amongst other things:

I am extremely tired of there not being understanding from some that others are not as strong as they are. People are allowed to need help, they are allowed to be vulnerable they are allowed to not be able to help themselves because maybe they don't know how, or they do but there are obstacles. Maybe there are solutions but it will rock the boat too much for them to see it as worth it. I'm so fuckjng sick of this attitude of 'yes but why do you have to be vulnerable and not be able to sort all of this on your own because you should?' While at the same time making that exception where they think it's okay.

Basically why is it okay that you can see *I* need help because I lost my parents, because I'm 20 and tired and I had a load of stuff dumped on me before I was at an age I was ready. Yet you PRESUME that anyone else in a bad situation who doesn't have help can just. get themselves out of it. Or make their life better if they try hard enough because you did. Maybe they wouldn't succeed. Maybe they'd fucking die in a gutter because they couldn't pay for housing and got hypothermia. Maybe their partner beat them to death and they got brain damage. Maybe they wanted their kids to have both parents even if one of them is SHIT. Maybe I wouldn't have been okay if you hadn't helped me. Maybe j would have fucking overdosed or slit my wrists rather than deal with life. Maybe I would have become a shell of myself and given up on life and university and anything beyond staying here and helping my family.

Why do *I* deserve to have help but you have to have the mentality that I would have been alright eventually without it? Because you were? You found a stable partner at 26. You were in a better housing market. You were maybe in the right places at the right times and made a couple good choices by chance. So why is it your right to judge that someone else, even a character on a TV show, is at fault for not getting the same chances you had? For staying in an abusive relationship, which you have never been in, and get to judge that they are irritating because they could have left? Does it make you feel less sad about the world because you can put the blame of some people's circumstances back onto them in order for you to not feel hopeless? I wonder if that's it. Because if you recognise that sometimes people can truly not have a happy life through no fault of their own, and it's not just in third world countries, or whatever you judge to be 'okay' as 'yes it's not their fault' then it feels sad. It feels fucking horrible to have to acknowledge that sometimes things are bad, and maybe someone's life is terrible, and they COULD do something about it. But that COULD is a million miles away due to whatever has happened jn their life up to that point to mean that they do not have the resources, knowhow, emotional, spiritual, and physical strength to do what you think is so Not Easy But Doable.

Just because you are strong does not mean that some do not have the right to be weak

[redrose-arrow]

Crowley/Halt/Duncan back to continue on with the future of the AU!

- During the fateful mission where Will and Horace find out about Horace's backstory, Cody gets word from Araluen. See, they opted to stay in Araluen to help with some extra paperwork with Crowley. Only to end up getting a letter about a week later that there is a new king in Clonmel, King Halt.

- Cody immediately goes to Clonmel to ask Halt what the fuck is going on. Which is how the kingdom finds out that Halt did not kill his youngest sibling. Hooray for them?

- Cody's former apprentice, called Konrad, stays back to help Crowley with the paperwork. She's certified cool and is also absolutely fascinated by knives of all kinds. She has a collection in her suite that she'll use any excuse to show others and brag about how cool her knife collection is. Her favorite is a 5 inch blade that's a little wavy and has a very fancy, polished wooden hilt. As you can probably imagine, Konrad and Horace get along great

- Once Cody is revealed to be not dead, a few people ask if they have a husband, if they'd be willing to date them, etc. etc. They get increasingly frustrated until they eventually reveal, "If you're so desperate to marry someone, then just marry each other. I don't care about nor want any sort of romantic relationship. It's boring and gross and I'd rather it far, far away from me. I've spent nearly forty years without it, and I certainly don't need it now."

- Eventually, the whole battle thing with Horace and Tennyson's dudes happens. Horace still gets poisoned. But instead of the fight being cancelled or Horace continuing to fight despite it or Will stepping in to go against the Genovesans, Cody steps in for Horace. Over the past couple decades or so, they've been steadily honing their swordfighting skills. While they aren't quite as good as Horace, they're pretty damn close, and they end up finishing the fight with a few injuries here and there.

- They manage to keep Tennyson from escaping, mostly with (former) King Conall's help. Turns out, the guy had been a pretty good king, and had been able to set up safe guards to keep Tennyson and others from slipping away unseen. (Is this just because I don't want Halt to get hurt because I'm too emotionally attached? Yes, yes it is)

- Cody and Halt visit Ferris' grave. Alone. They stay there for a little while, standing in silence. So many years ago, three had become two-- they used to be so close, what had happened?

- Obviously, they knew what happened. But they didn't want to talk about it. They wanted to remember the good times, before Ferris had died. And for once, here, they allow themselves to mourn what they had lost-- they hadn't had the time nor energy to waste in Clonmel before, and it felt inappropriate to acknowledge it in Araluen after they left everything behind.

- They stand together. Cody had brought flowers, but Halt hadn't brought anything. Bringing something to the grave, to acknowledge what he had done all those years ago... it felt too final. He wasn't ready to admit that Ferris was truly dead and gone. He didn't know if he could ever or would ever admit it to himself. It felt wrong-- he and Ferris had used to be so close, two halves of a whole, the clasp of a necklace, the hilt of a sword--

- And Ferris was... gone. Had been for decades, now. And he didn't know how he could ever get over it. How he could ever be at peace with that night. Maybe he never would be.

- Eventually, Cody places the flowers on the grave, and they leave-- they need to make the final preparations for their departure.

- And, well, if Halt lets a few tears fall for his deceased brother... well, Cody will never tell.

(I think they all need therapy, honestly)

saved these for today because if i don't have relationship of my own to focus on, i'll just hyperfixate on fictional relationships. sO-

lmao both Cody and Halt could’ve been a liiiiiittle more careful but i love how they *just* returned and now the kingdom has to come to grasps with the fact that two out of the three siblings are not, in fact, dead. 

OKAY BUT KONRAD INTRIGUES ME. 1) crowley would love her, if not for her love of paperwork. 2) horace and konrad being besties makes me soft because horace needs another friend at the castle. 

“he wasn’t much of a brother. but he was the only one we had”. please if we keep one sentence from the original, let it be this one. 

(I also think they all need therapy, by the way)

[syubub]

Hoseok soulmate reading

Let's get the disclaimer out of the way: This is for entertainment purposes only and shouldn't be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards.

Oki. Before we begin I must say... I put this off as long as possible. For those of you who have followed me for a while, you know that hobi is THE HARDEST to connect with and tbh this was no different. I'll probably revisit this reading again at a different time (you'll see why)

So. To start things off... Hope has some.. strange(?) energy. His energy was really vague and weak. The color too is intresting because its 100% not a color I've ever seen and I'm not sure if something is afflicting the color of his energy? Its ruby red but also deep grey blue? Its really strange and honestly pretty but it doesn't feel like the normal color? The color is usually a nice red with some deeper hints but...Its usually a bit more... lively? It just feels dull right now.

It looks like this right now but with a little more red? Its really peculiar.

Now. Idk maybe some shit is going on with him right now? Or maybe bc there was a fuckin lunar eclipse in Gemini last night? Idk but the energy was a little.. hostile. That's not a bad thing but it kinda felt like he was being broody? Its all really strange but he was not very into the reading (more so than usual) blah blah he didn't want to talk and I asked some questions I probably shouldn't have and some stuff happened. Long story short his soulmate(?) Showed up and pushed our foreheads together so we'd have to connect.

I asked his soulmate if they could tell me what the fuck was going on and they said that they don't know him well. Idk if that means that they don't know him well on a soul level? I'll get into this more later but this feels like something that's already been concluded or comes back up from time to time.

"He's pretty closed off huh?" Yes soulmate. He is.

I asked for more info about them and they said May. I was like cool, is that your name or? "Nah" sick is that like you're birthday? "Not really" cool cool cool.

They did say that he deserves better than what he has. I'm gonna leave it at that but hobi is possibly going through some shit.

Now we can get onto the reading part. I do want to say though, this reading felt very disconnected and weird? Just like somethings off and I have a feeling that this soulmate is more of the "life lesson" type soulmate?

Oki. We have temperance, chariot, two of cups, queen of coins. This is a person who is definitely motivated and driven and 100% a business savy human. They are also very likely loyal and know how to balance work and play time very very well. Is well-off (or materialistic) lol. There's a very ride or die energy that tells me this person is the type of friend that will do anything for you but when you do stupid shit then you get a stern talking to. Idk why but it also feels lonely? Like they're on their own journey to find themselves and their path/happiness/self and if it doesn't fit in the wagon then it gets left behind. This person might move too fast and miss out on important things because they're always chasing after something. They take "its not the destination that matters but the journey that does" to a whole new level and they just never stop to enjoy the scenery bc they'd rather get the rush of newness.

As for their relationship. As I said before I think this soulmate specifically is the "life lesson" type and could definitelybe a platonicsoulmate too. The kind that provides you with an opportunity for growth. With the 5 of swords rev. I kinda think that this could be someone from either a past life or back in a less favorable time. The fool card to me makes me thin that this relationship provides a sense of being born again? Its that newness of having a new perspective and a whole new understanding of self. With the magician rev. Its about issues with communication i.e not being able to get across your needs and desires for both of them and a lack of energy to figure it out. I also feel like this was just something that they didn't fix and didn't want to fix. (I'm talking in past tense bc this reading feels like its someone from the past) This card also talks about deception. I'm not gonna go into this much. With the 3 of wands though!! Yay! This talks about progress and I feel like this points to them learning more and more about who they are and what they truly want. They're kinda like lines that were moving towards eachother, intersected and then continued going in their own direction. Its like this time together was formative in who they are as people and what they dream of! And with the father of cups it does seem that over all the relationship was/is (I don't know how to talk about this) relatively balanced and they had/have respect for eachother. This card specifically is about balanced emotions and emotional intelligence and I think that this is what they gain from this relationship.

Moving right along we have the oracle cards! Stand by you commitment, financial healing, unconventionality, socialize or join in and sensitive emotions. The flower cards are from hobi to soulmate and the others are from soulmate to hope. Now. Maybe his soulmate went through a failed business venture that they're recovering from or just general money trouble bc the whole world is being fucked over by a virus. Either way hobi is very strong in the message of commitment (that makes me think that its specifically about business or something they started but never finished) onto cards for Hope. He might kinda be going through the shitty times and his soulmates advice is to not isolate and celebrate himself more. He might be having some issues related to self image or a soul-identity crisis? Idk but hobi needs that good good self care and love.

Now the two unicorn cards. Those are also from his soulmate to hope about some personal shit and I will be leaving that out because its not my fucking business. (Hobi is fine don't worry)

Woo wee lets get on to traits! First for zodiac sign. Earth, fire, air. Possible Libra and Taurus placements.

Tiny cards. Light hair, dark hair, sweet, extrovert, hard working, tall, business oriented, loud, fate, sorry, open, faith, happy, wait.

First off I get brown hair vibes (maybe medium brown?)

The word cards sound like his soulmate trying to give him a pep talk so I pulled an affirmation card that says in stillness I receive. I think hobi is going through some soul stuff and I'm not sure if this specificly translates into his life right now (though I think it does and he's repressing it or hopefully he's sorting it out on his own privately)

Oki oki oki. Idk why but it also might be that hobi is doing work to heal his inner child? I honestly don't know whats going on or if its affecting him in his day to day life at this time but I want to come back and do this reading at a time that he might be in a better energy space?

Hobi is ALWAYS hard to read and its even harder when he's less open than usual.

I'll get another soulmate read from hobi at some point and see if I can catch a "future/current romantic soulmate"

I am confused 😕

Also!! I have a Ko-fi now! I'll drop the link here but its in my bio! Absolutely no pressure but its there for people who want to tip me and were looking for a way to support me! (Also, I'm not taking readings through ko-fi so please don't drop money and request a reading there.)

Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/syubub

[tandaforever]

The other night I finished reading Red, White & Royal Blue.

And there were so many feelings then, but I didn't manage to write it down until now.

A big thanks to @tralalaoohlala for the rec, I owe you one! I would not have ordered the book otherwise. I even remember seeing the bright pink cover when I was last in a bookstore and passed right by it. I uhh.. 😬 tend to judge a book by its cover. And it didn't do it for me. A younger me would have been all over it though.

And here's what I think...

The story was funny, sexy, romantic. These are words that reviewers have used and they're all absolutely right. But it was also inspiring. I admired a lot of the characters, how true they were to themselves and without apology. The friendships in this book were quite beautiful and I loved how Alex reflected on his family, his home, and his identity.

Getting into the main characters' relationship, I felt like I was reading really good fanfic, and I loved every bit of it. A lot of it was so tender. And you just fucking root for them, would probably throw down for them to protect a relationship as pure as theirs.

But the reason why I wanted to write something about it and why it affected me was because of two things.

1) I actually teared up twice towards the end. It's never happened to me while reading and I have actually never 'cried tears of joy' before. I always thought it was weird people did that. Because the tears I've shed have been angry, sad, lonely - never happy ones. I wouldn't say they were joyful but I was deeply moved.

[ SPOILER ]

Reading how the world supported them, in NY, DC, Paris, outside the palace walls, I swear l trembled a lil, maybe gasped. And when Alex and Henry barreled out into the corridor after that, truly free, I felt so happy for them.

But in the forefront of my thoughts and I think the real reason I teared up a bit was because I was thinking about Armie and Timmy. Thinking if the world can get their shit together, if they were shown the same support, how powerfully free they'd feel. It just got to me, that this is what I wish so much for them.

2) It takes Love and courage. These words screamed out at me. I haven't been fortunate enough to feel either. And I feel so strongly for people who pursue it. Alex and Henry had a lot of it, they were sure, they felt forever about it.

That's what drew me to CMBYN over three years ago, a story about young men who were brave enough to fall in love with each other.

And I just feel it in my bones, and I see the evidence on my dash every day, that Armie and Timmy have this.

It has been especially hard for them. And I don't see it becoming easier any time soon. I'm here still, I'll support them until I can't anymore, because the love they have, it's life changing, it's random and it's beautiful. If they're brave enough to endure all this, then the least I can do is be brave enough to stick through it, no matter how exhausted I feel.

I hope one day I'll be lucky enough to be just another face in the crowd, wearing a t-shirt, supporting them, when they decide it's time.