#like why didn’t that female character just leave her abusive husband?

[wrestlersownmyheart]

In Dreams Chapter 2 (Hook X Older Female Reader)

Title: In Dreams Pairing: Hook X Older Female Reader Summary: Hook meets the woman of his dreams. Literally. The only problem? She is married in actuality. And her marriage is not the happy one she tries to portray in reality. Not to mention Y/N has a secret she failed to reveal in their shared dreams.  Can Hook persuade her to leave her husband and seek the safety of his love instead? Disclaimers: I own nothing or anyone associated or affiliated with AEW. I own only the original characters. This is just a fictional story that came from my imagination. Content/Trigger Warnings: Through the story as a whole–Domestic Abuse against a woman, some sexual harassment within AEW

Chapter 2

“Geez, Hook! Ease up!” Jack Perry tapped his hand against the canvas repeatedly, signaling his submission.

“Your brain isn’t in the game today. You’re working way too stiff.”

“Sorry,” Hook mumbled and stood to his feet as Jack did. “I guess I have my mind on some stuff.”

“Yeah obviously,” Jack grumbled, rubbing his aching neck. He took his long, wild hair down out of its man bun, and began grabbing his things for a shower. “How about we pick up where we left off later, before the show, and you get your head clear.”

Hook nodded and moved over to the punching bag as Jack prepared to head to the showers. 

He’d not dreamed of–nor seen–Y/N for two days. He’d dreamed of their forest, but she hadn’t shown up. Which told him she most likely wasn’t sleeping.

Or she’s not real. His mind played games with him and he didn’t like it. At all.

He was frustrated. And worried. And confused. It was odd to feel so many things at once. He wasn’t used to it. And he didn’t like it. It was too new to him.

“Y/N where are you,” he thought aloud. “And, are you okay?”

Frustrated he blew out a sigh and threw a few more punches into the punching bag.

He didn’t like feeling so vulnerable. He’d never met a woman that just immediately affected him this way. Which… he thought, no woman has ever made me feel this way. And so quickly. There was definitely some higher power at work in their friendship. 

Which–Hook couldn’t deny–he hoped for more than friendship. And that was just silly. She was in his dreams. All he had was her first and last name to find her by. And that was if he wasn’t losing his mind and she was a complete figment of his imagination.

“This is crazy. But not impossible.” He thought. And thought some more. He needed more information. Just an approximate idea of where she lived, again if she was indeed real. And then he could find her online, he was sure of it.

The hard part would be getting her to divulge such information. She seemed pretty reluctant to tell him. Why, he didn’t know. He knew she was married. That didn’t sit right with him for obvious reasons, but there was something else. Her gaze went dark the one time she told him of her marriage. 

“Maybe they’re on the verge of splitting up,” he reasoned out loud. “Otherwise, it looks like she’d be happier about being married.”

A sly grin spread across his face.

“Well, Mr. Y/L/N can move aside because Hook is coming to town.”

}i{}i{}i{}i{}i{

You scrubbed at the counters with your sponge and sprayed more Fantastic cleaning spray as you cleaned the kitchen. “Just because we live in an old house, doesn’t mean it has to be a mess,” you grumbled to yourself. 

You had virtually no help with the housekeeping. You worked, you cleaned, and you took care of Sienna, and not to mention Derek. You paid the rent and bills despite the little amount that Derek brought in with his unemployment.

You were in a word: Exhausted.

You had indeed caught another cold, thanks to the ice water Derek had splashed on you. It was getting worse day by day too. You now had a fever of 103. But you had no time to stop and rest and take care of yourself. You’d not slept in two days due to your jobs and chores around the house.

“Lord, please help me out of this situation. And help me protect Sienna.” You prayed aloud and wondered what the solution could be. Whatever you did, it was going to endanger Sienna and you couldn’t handle that. At all. It was unacceptable.

What if the next time he attacks you, you kill him in self-defense?

You scoffed at that thought.

You couldn’t bear disecting a frog in junior high, but you were going to manage to kill your husband?

You shook your head and tossed the sponge in the sink, disgusted.

Glancing up at the kitchen’s wall clock you saw it was time for Sienna’s night time feeding. So you began getting a bottle of formula ready.

It was your favorite time of the day. You would feed Sienna while just talking to her. Sometimes, you’d tell her about how you were going to get them out of the situation they were in. And sometimes you’d sing to her or tell her a story. 

It was usually the most peaceful part of your day.

As long as Derek was snoozing in his recliner, that is. He usually took a nap after supper. 

Like he needs it, you thought bitterly, going to the stairs with the baby bottle. A moment later, you were in the nursery and lifting Sienna from the playpen. 

“Time for your bottle girlie,” you whispered softly. The baby instantly latched onto the bottle and began drinking down the formula.

“I promise, somehow we’re going to get out of this mess.” You told her.

Suddenly, Hook’s image came to your mind. 

The way he ran to you when Derek was attacking you. The way he demanded to know where you were so he could help you… Even though he had no idea about Derek being abusive he still wanted to help you.

“If only,” you said again for the umpteenth time in the past couple of days. 

Feeling a tickle in your chest, you turned your head to keep from coughing on Sienna, and let out a harsh couple of coughs. You could hear the rattle in your chest as you coughed and you worried about getting bronchitis or a respiratory infection.

“That’s all I need,” you thought out loud. “Especially if I pass this on to Sienna.”

You sat down in the little rocking chair next to the baby’s crib and rocked her as you fed her.

Within minutes, the infant finished the bottle of formula and had drifted off to sleep. So, you gently stood to your feet and deposited her into the crib, before heading to the bathroom and changing into your nightgown for bed. You decided to watch a little tv before you went to sleep so you could clear your mind.

Laying down on the bed, you turned the television on and flipped through the channels to find something to watch. You came up on TBS and paused hoping a good movie might be on. But alas, it was some wrestling program called AEW Dynamite. Rolling your eyes, you watched a moment just to see if it got interesting. Some long haired guy had just been “German suplexed”--according to the announcer, onto the hard canvas and the opponent held him there for two slaps of the canvas. 

This is where you got interested.

There was something familiar about the wrestler that performed the beautiful German Suplex. He raised up, stood to his feet. And your jaw practically hit the floor. 

Hook.

It was him! 

He was real after all!

Tears burned your eyes for so many reasons then.  One being that you weren’t going crazy. Another being the unfairness of meeting Hook in your dreams–why couldn’t you have met him in reality? And finally, the fact that you were married to Derek. He’d never let you go. And Hook would no doubt try to fight him. Which, seeing Hook in the ring showed you he could more than take care of himself, but still. Derek wouldn’t fight fair.

Shaking your head, you laid your head back against your pillow. “How is this possible?” 

Growing sleepy despite being so shocked, you watched the rest of the program, hoping to see Hook again. But, no such luck.  Disappointed at the end of the show, you closed your eyes to rest them a bit. In only seconds you were in your forest. Why you always met Hook here, you didn’t know. But it was absolutely beautiful.

“Y/N?”

You spun around and saw Hook jogging for you. You met him halfway and ran into his muscled arms. “I’m not crazy,” you exclaimed, smiling up at his face with tears in your eyes. “You’re real!”

“How do you know that,” Hook asked you, brushing some hair out of your face.

“I saw you on tv! You’re a wrestler!”

Chuckling, he nodded, and returned her hug. “That’s right. And I know you’re real too. I just do. In my soul.”

“Why did we have to meet like this,” you groaned. “Why couldn’t we have met in reality.

“We can, ya know?” Hook said. “Tell me where you are.”

“Not yet, Hook,” you replied softly. You actually had no intention of telling him where you lived, but you didn’t want to admit it to him and hurt his feelings. That was the last thing you wanted to do. “Maybe after we’ve gotten to know each other better.”

“But what if these dreams don’t keep happening,” he said. “I’ll never see you again.”

You swallowed hard. You’d actually thought of the exact same thing. But it was a chance you had to take. “I’m sure… I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot of each other in our dreams.”

“What are you so afraid of?”

You looked up at him. “I’m not afraid,” you lied.

“Liar.” A small smirk crossed his handsome face.

“I’m married, Hook. I’m not just going steady with someone, I’m married. Till death…” You shuddered, “Till death do we part.”

“You don’t sound so happy about that,” Hook’s brown eyes trained on your face.  “There’s always divorce, you know?”

You scoffed. If he only knew.

“Yeah… I uh, I tried that and it didn’t go so well.”

“Let me guess, he fought you for most of the money, huh?”

What money, you thought to yourself. But you went along with his explanation. It was as good as any. “Something like that.”

“Okay, you wanted to get to know each other, let’s take a walk and talk a little.” He took your hand and guided you forward.

“How old are you,” you asked first. “You seem pretty young… I think I’m too old for you anyway, Hook.”

“Oh yeah? How old are you? I’ll tell you if you tell me.” “I’m (Insert your age).” “I’m twenty-four.”

“See?” “Not really. I see a beautiful woman that I want to be with.”

You flushed and turned your face away.

“Don’t tell me you don't feel the same way, Y/N. Because I can see you do.”

“It doesn’t matter, Hook. I can’t do this. Not romantically.”

He stopped walking when you did, scanned your face a moment with his dark gaze and said nothing for a long pause. 

“Okay,” he finally said. “If friendship is all you want. I’ll respect that. No wait, I won’t either.” He rubbed his hand over his face. “Y/N, I’m falling for you. And like I said I always make sure I get what I want. I am going to fight for you. And I won’t stop till you’re mine.”

Your breathing went ragged and sharp. You didn’t know how to reply. You were frightened because you knew Hook spoke the truth, but despite your fear you found yourself encouraging him. “I don’t want you to stop. Just know that you have no easy task ahead of you.”

“That’s all I needed to hear,” Hook smirked at you and took your hand again, leading you down to a small river. You both sat down and dangled your feet in the refreshing waters.

“So, tell me about yourself,” he said, still holding your hand. 

“Like what,” you asked, unsure of what you should or shouldn’t tell him.

“Well, let’s start light. What’s your favorite color?”

“Purple,” you said immediately. “Like light purple. Sort of lavender.” You angled your head and looked at him. “What about you?”

“Green,” he answered. “The color of fresh, healthy spring grass.”

“Lovely color,” you remarked. You were very aware as his thumb stroked over the back of your hand. “So you're single?”

“I am,” he replied. “But if I wasn’t, I would be now,” he said, staring at you purposefully. 

“Do you like kids?”

“My turn to ask a question,” he teased, squeezing your hand gently in his. “Do you like kids?”

“Yes. I love them.” You hedged. “Do you?”

“Yes,” he answered. “I’ve not been around many, except for a few fans of my work, but yes, I love kids.”

“Tell me about your job,” you asked, subconsciously moving closer to him, “Does it hurt?”

“Some of it, yeah,” he admitted. “But some of it is just made to look like it hurts. For entertainment, of course. It’s a great job. I love what I do.” He looked over at you and smiled. “What do you do?”

“I…. don’t do anything near as glamorous as you.  I just work at a department store and a convenience store.”

His eyes went a darker shade of brown then. “A convenience store,” he nearly demanded. “Like, as in the places that are notorious for being robbed?”

“It’s a job, Hook. And beggars can’t be choosers when it comes to income.”

“I want you to quit. Do something else. Anything else.”

“Okay, Tarzan,” you chuckled sarcastically, “I can’t quit one of my jobs. I need the money too badly.” You swallowed hard. “I’m poor, Hook. You might want to reconsider wanting to be with me.”

Hook’s face went mischievous. “Leave your husband and be with me. I’ll make sure you never have to work again.”

“I want to work.”

“You know what I mean. You could work if you chose to but you wouldn’t have to.”

You nodded, “I get what you mean. But, Hook, I can’t leave him. Maybe I am being punished for marrying the wrong man. Maybe meeting you is my punishment. I’m seeing what I could have had.”

“Maybe this is what we can both have,” Hook whispered, bringing your hand to his lips and kissing the back of it.  “I still want to kiss you.” 

You smiled shyly and shook your head. “If you find me you can kiss me.” You froze then. The words were out. There was no taking them back. How could you be so careless? “I love a good dare,” Hook said, kissing your hand again. “And I never lose one either.”

You chuckled nervously. “I would expect nothing less,” you teased.

Suddenly, you were awakened to your alarm going off.  Derek lay snoring beside you in the bed. Groaning softly in disgust, you climbed out of the bed and made your way to the bathroom to shower and start your day.

Why do my dreams have to be so quick, you wondered, starting the shower water. I don’t get near enough time with Hook. 

Undressing, you stepped into the shower and cleaned up for the day ahead of you.

}i{}i{}i{}i{}i{

“I think these heels would go perfect with your outfit,” you told a customer who had asked for your assistance in shoes. “They’re very elegant.”

“I think so too,” the customer gushed. “I think I will like this whole ensemble a lot.”

After a couple more minutes of chatting, you led the customer to the service desk in the center of the store and began ringing up her purchases. “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

“No, I think this will do,” the customer replied, “Thank you.” 

You scanned the last of the items and totaled the purchase. “That’ll be $146.57,” you told her. “Would you like to pay with your Beall’s charge card today? You’ll save fifteen percent if you do.”

“Yes, I think I will, thank you,” the woman replied, getting her card out of  her checkbook. She handed it over to you and waited while you performed the transaction.  The merchant copy of the receipt printed out and you handed her a pen, indicating for her to sign it, and then you quickly printed out her copy of the receipt. 

“Thank you for shopping at Beall’s. Have a nice day,” you said with a smile and handed the woman her shopping bags. The woman smiled and nodded in return and then headed away toward the store’s entrance and exit, where she left and walked toward her car.

“Hon, you got a minute?”

You froze.

Derek. What did he want? The only reason he called you “hon” was for show amongst any customers and your co-workers.

“What is it, Derek? I’m at work right now.”

He put his arm around your shoulders and guided you toward the children’s department. “The guys want to go do some drinking,” he said in a low voice. “I need some money.”

You gaped at him. “What happened to your unemployment check? I-”

“Done spent it,” he said, a sheepish expression crossing his face. He pulled you behind a rack of onesies, and you knew it was to hide the two of you from view. You dreaded what would come next. “How much money have you got,” he asked.

“The only cash I have is for Sienna,” you said, shaking your head. “It’s for her formula. She’s almost out.”

His hand shot out and grabbed your arm. Discreetly, but very tightly. “I want that money.”

“You’re not getting it.”

You knew you would pay later, but he was not getting SIenna’s formula money.

“Give me the money,” he hissed, clamping his grip tighter on your arm.

You cried out very softly, knowing better than to make a scene. “She’ll go hungry, Derek. I don’t make enough milk for her. I can’t… won’t let her starve..”

“You’re gonna pay,” Derek growled in your ear, then he kissed the side of your head–for show–and laughed. “No problem, hon. I’ll see you after work.” 

With that veiled threat, he left and you dreaded when you had to go home.

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[maxdibert]

favorite female characters? not from HP but in general.

Well, I have many, but I’m going to mention the ones I remember because I’m terrible at making lists like this on the spot — I always forget people — so I’ll just say whoever comes to mind.

Lady Bird: from the movie Lady Bird by Greta Gerwig. If anyone wonders what I was like as a teenager, I was very much like Lady Bird (terrible story with the typical soft intellectual boy who smokes and reads Tolstoy included). I’ve never felt so identified with a coming-of-age film. That movie was literally me, including the complicated relationship with her mother — mine and I didn’t get along back then — and also the crash-and-burn experience of going to college, plus the pretentious aspiration of being part of an intellectual elite like the Beat Generation. The only thing that didn’t happen to me was trying to fit in with rich people and having a boyfriend who turned out to be gay, but the essence of the movie is very similar to my adolescence. I’m from a mid-sized city that felt too small at the time, and I went to a Catholic school. That character stirs a lot of emotions in me.

Brooke from Mistress America, also wich is por trajes by Gerwig. Basically, I’m Brooke now. Greta Gerwig and I must be soulmates or something because for some reason her female characters always have qualities I deeply relate to. Or maybe we’re just two highly dysfunctional people who don’t really know what to do with our lives. This also leads me to Frances from Frances Ha.

Julie from The Worst Person in the World, another character I strongly relate to. In this house we love young adult women with clear attachment issues, chaotic and aimless lives, low-key depressed, semi-alcoholic, and with disastrous personal lives.

Cassandra from Promising Young Woman. Crafting a perfectly planned revenge to ruin the lives of your best friend’s abusers after they drove her to suicide? Something I’d totally do. I love her.

The protagonist of My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh, who remains unnamed. Basically, a girl bored with life and deeply depressed who decides to take a sabbatical year popping every kind of antidepressant, anxiety med, tranquilizer, hypnotic, and psychiatric drug to spend the year sleeping and watching Whoopi Goldberg movies. An absolute queen. We stan.

Elle Woods from Legally Blonde. Always rooting for women who perform traditional femininity while proving they can be fashion-obsessed, beauty salon-loving, ambitious, brilliant, and determined to make the world a better place. Let’s protect the Elle Woodses of this dark, hostile world — we need them to keep the darkness at bay.

Emma Woodhouse from Emma. My favorite Jane Austen novel and my ultimate heroine. Emma is like a mix of Elle Woods and Blair Waldorf. Many people adore Lizzie Bennet because they think she’s super badass, but there’s no one more badass than Emma Woodhouse. In a time when all women were husband-hunting, she was perfectly content living with her father. She literally mentions that her father will leave her a huge inheritance, and she doesn’t need kids because she already has her nieces and nephews — so why rush? She’s super frivolous but has this childlike charm that makes her adorable. She can be insufferable and even a mean girl, but she never acts out of malice — she just lives in her own bubble. Also, the best Austen hero ever is Mr. Knightley. He’s the ultimate “my future wife is my best friend, and I love her so much that I’m willing to leave my mansion to live in hers with her quirky dad because she doesn’t want to be separated from him.” Such malewife vibes. We love malewives.

Katniss Everdeen. Katniss is fed up with everything and just wants to die. She’s not a compliant or pleasant protagonist, and I love that. Many people dislike her because she doesn’t fit many typical narrative standards for female characters, and we love her for that.

Sansa Stark: Hating Sansa Stark is pure misogyny, period. Sansa is the most realistic female character in the entire saga, and that’s why everyone hates her. She’s not about muscles, swords, dragons, or powers. Sansa is about brains, learning, growth through hardship, cunning, and manipulation. We love our damsel-in-distress-turned-political-strategist. A true survivor. I love her; if anyone messes with her, I’ll fight.

My beloved Lila Cerullo and Elena Greco from My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante. If you haven’t read The Neapolitan Novels, you’re seriously missing out. No one has captured the complexity of female friendship over the years like Ferrante. No one has portrayed femininity in a patriarchal world better. It’s a story about violence — all kinds, from physical to structural and political — against women, class violence, and social violence. It’s a story about love, loss, generational change, and the turbulent twists of the 20th century. But above all, it’s the story of two girls, two teenagers, two women navigating a violent world that tries to shut them out from the start — a world they must carve their way through, blow by blow. Two women who are two sides of the same coin. Two women who represent passion and reason, natural talent and hard work, lack of opportunity and breaking new paths, physical violence and psychological manipulation. But most of all, two women bound together since childhood by a complex, toxic, beautiful, and tragic friendship. This saga will break your heart but also fill you with life. It’s truly magnificent.

And well, I can’t think of any more right now, but if you’re familiar with these, you’ll get a sense of the type of characters I enjoy.

[scrapsovereign]

That One Time I Got Kidnapped By An Evil Vampire Lord Ch. 3

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57838303/chapters/147545899#workskin

Summary:

Ari fucks around and finds out. Mackenzie's meeting with Rion doesn't go how either of them had planned.

Pairings: past Ascended Astarion x Evil male!Tav, Ascended Astarion x Original Female Character

Trigger warnings/Tags: cheating, intimate partner violence, abusive relationships, medical settings, body shaming, internalized fatphobia, Threats/mentioning of suicide/self-harm, referenced sexual assault, panic attacks/PTSD episode, Mention of swatting/police.

Downtown Seattle, Washington  

Mercy West Medical Group Primary Care Clinic

Thursday, August 24th 

4:53 PM

Nurse Amanda buries her head in her hands as she nods along to the patient she’s speaking with on the phone. 

“I’m hearing that it’s hard for you to take time to come in for an appointment because you need to take care of your kids, your husband, and go to work. But look at it this way, taking time to do a virtual or in person appointment for 20 minutes to see Dr. Calloway to figure out whyyou’re having these symptoms is taking care of your family too. By setting aside the time for yourself, you’re- hello? Ma’am?”

She re-dials the number with her face scrunched up in a grimace, goes straight to the patient's voicemail, and leaves a polite message to call back. 

Amanda is in the middle of typing a passive-aggressive message to Dr. Calloway when Mackenzie leans on the doorframe, clearing her throat to catch her attention. 

“Why do they call and ask for advice, Mac. Why. They’re just going to tell me they know better, refuse to come in, and hang up- HOT DAMN LOOK AT YOU,” Amanda’s blue eyes go wide as she gives Mac a once over with a whistle. “Come here, let me see you.”

Mackenzie does a twirl, the raven-colored silk of her skirt flaring in a circle as Amanda examines the style and craftsmanship of the cocktail dress Mackenzie wears. 

“That fits you like a glove, like it was made for you. Holy shit. Everything’s perfect. Are those zippers to show some leg? Are those french seams? And the ankle strap on those shoes? Whew!” Amanda billows her crepe blouse like she’s having a hot flash. “Where’d you get it from?”

A flush creeps up the low v-neck of the dress, Mackenzie’s hands fidgeting with the waist straps that hang untied at the sides. 

“So, you remember that patient? Yeah, so, turns out he’s a lawyer, and he wanted to meet for drinks to talk about what’s going on with Ari and I. He says he could help. I said that I didn’t have anything to wear and he said he’d send something by,” Mac winces, the pitch of her voice rising higher as she sees Amanda’s face fall flat in response. 

Amanda hangs up her headset quietly, her hands clasped together in front of her.

“I’m not a smart man, but I do know some Christian Grey bullshit when I see it,” Amanda starts, waiting for Mac to catch on. Mac looks at her quizzically, as if she didn’t get the reference. 

“Christian Grey? As in “50 Shades of Grey" based off the Twilight fanfic “Masters of The Universe” by Snowqueens Icedragon? Listen. Nobody just buys someone a dress for a client meeting. Or a pair of shoes, and- is that a necklace?” Amanda squints, distracted by the shiny thing. She leans over to look at the simple, dainty y-shaped silver and black crystal necklace that rests its tail between Mac’s cleavage. “Yeah, nobody does that. Where are you meeting him?”

“I haven’t googled the street address yet, but look at his handwriting. The calligraphy on it is perfect. Smell it,” Mackenzie instructs Amanda, watching as her boss warily pulls the elegantly written note from her fingers.

Amanda pulls down her surgical mask to waft the fragrance up to her. The cologne that scents the paper wafts up to her nostrils and she has to suppress a moan. It’s how she imagines a cup of earl grey tea would taste while she was being spanked with a leather riding crop. She returns it to Mac, leaning back in her hard-won Steelcase office chair, clicking her pen in her hands. 

“You’re in trouble with a capital T.  Mark my words, that dude is up to some shit,” Amanda warns as she tilts her head up at Mackenzie, continuing her analysis of the situation in her inner monologue. 

“You think I shouldn’t meet up with him,” Mac states flatly, hoping to further elicit Amanda’s thoughts on the matter. 

“On the contrary, my friend- I absolutely think you should go. Here, let me tie that for you,” Amanda offers, looping the waist ties through the buttons at the low neckline, making a pretty bow underneath Mac’s cleavage. Mackenzie smiles lamely as Amanda ties her up like a present to be unwrapped.

“Between us and the wallpaper, I think he’s yanking your chain about the whole legal help thing. But you know what? Fuck it. When was the last time you went out? Treat ‘yo self-” she trails off, suddenly distracted by the message that pops up on Teams. Her eyes flash and she bites her tongue, reaching for her headset. 

“I gotta take a triage call- have fun tonight, okay? Text me if the evil fairy prince tries to kidnap you, gangsta,” she gives Mac a sideways peace sign, shutting the door to her office after Mac exits. She messages the front desk back, letting them know she’s ready for the call to be transferred. 

“This is Nurse Amanda, how can I help you?” she asks professionally, knowing full well who it is and who he’s calling for. She calms the rage that bubbles deep within her, pressing the call record button on her computer screen.

“Amanda…hey. Is Kenz there?” Ari’s voice quivers and sniffles on the other end of the line. 

“She’s busy with a patient. Can I take a message for her?” Amanda’s lie is even and tempered while she’s imagining impaling his eyes on the letter opener she turns over in her hands. 

“She’s not answering my calls, or responding to my texts,” Ari sobs. Amanda feels her shoulders twitch and ache.

“Well, she’s at work, and lately middle management really be micro-managing with the phone policy. I don’t even have mine out at my desk unless it’s for work related purposes,” Amanda lies again. She peers down at her own phone that was open to Tumblr earlier, leaning out to look through the window in her office door, seeing the three MA’s that are still in clinic waiting for the clock to run out, all on their cell phones. 

“You don’t understand! Something really urgent’s come up. I need to talk to her,” Ari whines.

Amanda’s really glad Ari can’t see her right now, as she’s stabbing the daily planner calendar that rests on her desk in slow, controlled movements.

“I can take a message-” 

“You’re the one responsible for this, aren’t you?” A switch flips in Ari’s tone as the sobbing suddenly ceases, an edge creeping into his voice that sends chills up Amanda’s spine. 

“For what? The no cell phone policy? That’s all HR, my dude-” Amanda begins, only to be cut off by Ari once more.

“Fuck you, Amanda. I know you’re lying to me, you know what I’m talking about. You’re keeping her away from me. On purpose.” Ari snaps, his voice raising steadily. 

Amanda wants to clap back with something acerbic, deciding instead to let him show his whole ass on the recorded call for quality and training purposes.

“Heh. It’s funny. I know you’ve never liked me. You wish that I’d never met Mackenzie, that I would just disappear from her life. I know you’ve always had a crush on her, that you’ve always wanted her for yourself. You freak,” Ari’s voice is quiet but raw- intense. 

Amanda feels something snap in her at Ari’s suggestion that her relationship with Mackenzie is anything more than sisterly. “This conversation has officially gone beyond the bounds of what is appropriate, and I am going to end it. Goodnight Ari-”

Amanda pauses before she hangs up, immediately recognizing a tell-tale metallic click-clicking noise in the background.

She keeps Ari on the line, willing her hands to swiftly, furiously type a message to her triage nurse buddies at their much larger sister location up the hill at the hospital, asking them to call 911 for a welfare check.

Ari giggles in a queer, high-pitched tone through his resumed tears. “You want it to end? Well, here’s what you’ve been waiting for! I’m going to fucking end it all tonight, to say goodnight forever.”

“Ari, wait. Let’s not do anything…uhm,” Amanda bites down on her tongue as she tries not to finish that sentence with the word ‘hilarious’. “Let’s not do anything we’re going to regret. Hey. Are you at home? Mackenzie will want to know where you are, that you’re safe.”

Amanda receives a message back, asking where he’s located.

“I’m at home. And you’re damn right she will. She’ll never forgive you for what you’re going to make me do,” Ari snarls.

Amanda replies to the group chat with Ari’s name, the address of Mackenzie’s home she rents with Ari, and they give her a thumbs up to acknowledge they’ve seen it.

“Are you there? This is fucking useless-” Ari huffs impatiently as he ends the call. 

Amanda stares blankly at the screen, watching a message pop up saying that the police are on their way. 

She types up a thank you to her colleagues up the hill and hangs up her headset, leaning back to stare at the yellowing ceiling tiles above her.

Amanda’s definitely gotta need some dinner in her first before unpacking the necessary follow-through on that shitshow of a phone call. 

Downtown Seattle, Washington 

University Street and 5th Avenue

Thursday, August 21rst

5:30 PM

Mackenzie’s heels clack bravely against the pavement where Rion specified they meet. She’s out of her element here- in clothing she wouldn’t typically wear, in an area of downtown she doesn’t frequent.

Her heart pounds in her chest when she looks up and realizes exactly where she is.

Of course he’s staying at the fucking Fairmont.

A swell of confidence fills her as she recalls her time spent working at the local anime convention, running back and forth between her current location and the convention center. Yeah, she can do this. She might not actually belong here, but fake it till you make it right? All she needs to do is act like she’s on a mission to retrieve some fussy voice actor for a panel he’s about to be 20 minutes late for. 

She breaks character for a moment to check the specified location on the slip of paper. 

The Founder’s Club? That must be new…the last time she was here was more than 10 years ago. 

She walks up the familiar steps to the Georgian (now called the George), almost missing the opening leading to the dark and moody dimly lit room. She squares up her shoulders as she walks in with all the power and authority of glory days past to give her courage as she surveys the room.

Mackenzie meets Rion’s sultry gaze and her mask crumbles apart.

Her lips automatically tug up at the corners and her knees wobble as she makes her way to where he sits- a leather couch that he rests upon like a throne.

Rion’s body language isn’t the only thing about him that makes him look like every evil anime prince she’d lusted after.

He has the same Italian wool trousers and classic black leather shoes from earlier, but his shirt is different. It’s an obsidian silk that drapes open ever so slightly from where it’s half-buttoned, tempting a view at his perfect body underneath. An array of multi-colored rings, hoop earrings, and a simple necklace with findings that match Mackenzie’s adorns him.

She’s absolutely sure that some deity out there made this man specifically to ruin her.

For a moment, she sees a crack in the seductive airs he’s putting on for her. His smoky eyes sparkle and go wide as he takes the sight of her in. His mouth falls open slightly before he fixes his face, offers his hand up to her.

Mackenzie reaches out to him hesitantly, feeling the electricity crackle between them as their fingers touch. She feels as if she is glowing from the warmth of his impossibly soft lips against her knuckles.

“Mackenzie. You look exquisite, darling. Please, have a seat,” Rion drawls out his request, patting his thigh invitingly with a wicked smile.

Mackenzie freezes for a second. Is he inviting her to sit on his lap? Surely he isn’t. She decides then he absolutely must have been joking, extremely self conscious of the way she sits down as she cautiously lowers herself on the couch, leaving enough space for Jesus between them.

“Heyyyyyyy, so this is nice,” she observes nervously with her hands politely in her lap, her eyes everywhere except on Rion. 

Rion gives her an amused look, the playful bouncing of his foot reminding her of the swishing tail of a cat about to pounce.

“It’s suitable for our purposes. We have a reservation at the George at 7 PM. I do hope that you’re agreeable to dinner, the events of today have left me positively ravenous ,” he says with a bit of a growl, watching the ripple that travels through Mackenzie. 

Her mind goes blank. Wait. Did he just say what she thought he just said? 

“Are you sure about that? It’s good, but it’s expensive,” she warns, her memory taking her back in time to the early 10’s when she shamelessly ordered the butter poached lobster on the convention’s dime, a $50 entree back then. 

He simply smiles at her, leaving to order drinks.

Mackenzie turns her phone back on while she waits, making sure the ringer and the vibration is turned off. She taps on the green text box, her arms turning noodly when she sees most of the 50 new messages are from Ari. 

She stows her phone politely in the pocket of her dress when Rion returns and sits uncomfortably close to her, accepting the short glass with a diamond cut ice cube and orange swirl on top. She sniffs it- is that a manhattan made with Angel’s Envy? How did he know what to order?

“Let us toast to the grand adventure of life and the sweetness of new beginnings,” Rion declares with his glass aloft, Mackenzie awkwardly mimicking the gesture. Her stomach turns as his eyes soften at her and utters a cheers. 

Mackenzie does the same, finding his words both cringe and captivating at the same time.

“Well then! Let’s get down to business,” he says brightly, gesturing freely with his hands after he daintily sets his glass down. Mac bites her lips, preventing herself from singing ‘To defeat…the Huns’ to finish his sentence.

“Tell me everything darling, and spare no detail.”

Downtown Seattle, Washington 

The Fairmont Olympic Hotel

Thursday, August 21rst

6:45 PM

Rion groans as he pinches the bridge of his nose, his very soul aching at the circumstances Mackenzie has found herself in.

“Right. So, if I am following correctly- you met your betrothed at a ‘Ren-Faire’? You took him in when he was unhoused and destitute, without a penny to his name. One thing led to another, and now you’ve found yourselves in unhappily wedded matrimony, mainly so that he has- ‘health insurance’?” Rion looks up to Mac quizzically. 

Mackenzie nods in confirmation. She’s struck by the way he says ‘health insurance’ like it’s a dirty word. Must be nice to have access to single payor healthcare across the pond. 

“And that job you have, that I still don’t quite understand what it is you do. You wanted the power to heal people at a capacity you are unable to do so currently, so you went back to school to be a nurse. When you finally got into the program, you were kicked out because you became severely ill halfway through, all from your husband’s inability to keep his cock in his trousers?” He straightens up and drums the leather of the couch’s arm in irritation, swirling his glass of wine before he takes a greedy sip. 

“That’s one way to put it. As far as I know there’s been at least 5 people I’ve caught him in the act or almost caught him in the act with, but my gut tells me there’s been more that I don’t know about,” Mac casts her eyes downwards, ashamed of how it all sounds… and they haven’t re-capped the worst of it yet.

Rion sets the glass down, turning his body inwards towards Mac, a spark of fury in his ruby eyes. “In addition to the infidelity, sometimes he’s physically violent. He terrifies you. Drives like a maniac while you’re with him, but never crashes the vehicle. Uses and destroys your possessions.”

“He harms you, but it never leaves a bruise,” he murmurs softly, placing his hand atop Mackenzie’s knee to soothe her.

“Speaking of consent. He takes what he wants from your body without it. You feel you still love him, but the thought of being…intimate, touched by him makes you ill,” Rion intones, briefly re-experiencing the unspoken horrors of his past before a sniffle beside him reminds him of his present company. 

A tear escapes from Mackenzie’s mottled face and she raises a hand to wipe it away.

Rion beats her to it.

“On the bright side, your social support is a small circle of loyal, trustworthy friends who would take a knife in the back for you. I find this favorable,” he tapers off, stopping before he reaches the ‘but’, pausing as the recollection of Mackenzie’s futile wishes come to mind. 

“I feel like there’s a ‘but’ here, and it’s not the ones we’re sitting on,” Mackenzie jokes nervously in anticipation of this handsome stranger’s assessment. 

Rion snorts in response. He rests his nose over his fist, his expression neutral, exhaling while his keen eyes bore searing holes through Mackenzie’s soul. He sits up straight, having made up his mind what to say next.

“I could speak honeyed words of reassurance, craft a bit of hope for you to cling on to,” Rion murmurs as he raises his wine glass to his lips. “Or I could speak plainly. Tell you the truth.”

Mackenzie fidgets with the bow Amanda had tied for her, looking at the melting blob of ice in her empty cocktail glass. 

“I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier to me in the exam room since you left today,” Mac confesses, seeing the dark twinkle that appears in Rion’s eyes. “And I think…I think it’s time I faced the facts.”

“Very well, then. If you stay with him much longer, he’s going to kill you,” Rion informs her somberly, setting down the empty wine glass on the table in front of them. He reaches up to brush his knuckles against the moisture that runs down her cheek.

“I do fear for your safety, your situation is far more dire than I- nevermind that,” Rion interrupts himself with a shake of his head. “Do you have anywhere else to stay tonight?” 

Mackenzie ponders how best to tell him ‘maybe’, remembering how Ari is always critical of her roundabout anecdotes. She would vehemently but silently disagree with him. Details matter: her boss had offered her spare house key but Mac didn’t grab it before she left and doesn’t have the code to keep the building alarm from tripping if they go back to the clinic to retrieve it…

A smartly dressed, petite brunette that had been standing in front of them for the last few minutes patiently smiles down at them. “Excuse my interruption, Mr. Ancunìn. Did you have a reservation at the George at 7? I’m Chelsea, and I’m happy to get you seated. If you’ll follow me, please.” 

Mackenzie recognizes the classic Seattle way of saying they’re late (very polite and indirect, yet firm), standing up too fast to follow after her.

That was a mistake. Her exhaustion, excessive caffeine to keep herself awake throughout the day, and the alcohol have made her into an unsteady, dehydrated mess. She would have fallen face first into the wooden floors were it not for Rion’s uncannily strong arms to catch her. 

“Hold on to me, darling. I’ve got you,” He rumbles, his lips puffing cool, moist air across the hot shell of Mackenzie’s ear. Her breath hitches and she shivers, feeling her nipples pebble, suddenly sensitive as they rub underneath the silk of her dress. 

Oh no. Not the lobes, why did it have to be the lobes?  

His silken reassurance sends sparks out through the nerves of Mackenzie’s body. She links his arm with his and she feels her core spasm when he corrects her, firmly placing her hand to grip inside the crook of his elbow. Her eyes widen in horror when she feels a warmth starting to pool between her legs, feeling the glide of something slick as they walk side by side.

She inhales and exhales slowly, exerting what she feels like is the only control she has over her tipsy, lust-addled body. An empty, placid smile graces her lips as she cusses like a sailor at herself for reacting this way, how she thrums with need for him. 

Mac wishes she could tip her head back and ugly laugh in wonder at how life can be so cruel as they walk to their table. He pulls out her chair for her as they are seated and she thinks she’s going to start crying any moment now. She glances briefly at the menu, looking beyond him as she orders the most expensive thing on the menu at his insistence. He smiles at her dreamily, his beauty driving a wooden stake through her heart. It’s not like he’s the amalgamation of every 2D man she’s ever fantasized about, appearing in her life at the absolute worst time.

Mackenzie feels a tap on her shoulder, the server briefly trying to attract her attention. 

“Are you Kenz? Ari’s roommate?” the server asks excitedly. 

“That would be me,” Mac says with fake cheer, ignoring how Rion’s face falls in obvious disapproval at the word ‘roommate’. “Are you one of ‘The Mighty’?” 

The server nods enthusiastically, confirming herself as a fan of Ari’s streams. “Oh my god, how did you know? It’s so great to meet you- could I get a selfie?” the young woman asks, buzzing with excitement as she fumbles her phone in her hands. 

The corner of Mac’s face tugs up in a half-hearted smile, her palms sweating as she searches for the strength to refuse. “I appreciate you asking instead of just taking one. I’m so sorry, but is it okay if we don’t? I just…I don’t know if I feel comfortable being perceived like that right now.”

The server turns the camera app off with an embarrassed laugh. “Hey, it’s all good. I’m actually surprised to see you here with everything that’s happened today,” she says, her fingers tapping on her cell phone screen. 

“Why do you say that?” Mac asks innocently, her skin growing clammy, the air feeling suddenly too thick around her. 

“So you know the trend that’s going around on Tiktok where influencers call random numbers and threaten to unalive themselves?” the server asks, as if the words she’d spoken were extremely normal.

“Pardon, the who does the what on the what?” Rion tilts his head to the side, his brows furrowed in confusion as he tries to parse her words. 

“Yeah, so there’s a trend going around on Tiktok where people call random numbers and threaten to KMS. Here, it’s better if I show you-” the server says, coming up to Mac’s side with her phone in front of them. Rion leans over with a scowl and the server angles the video so he can see. 

Mackenzie watches a clip compilation of Ari fake-calling her clinic, speaking with Amanda around the exact time she had left the office, and a cut later to 3-4 police officers tackling him to the ground as he waves an empty airsoft pistol in the air.

The video ends with a thumbnail of Ari’s dumbstruck, open-mouthed shock in reaction to the police rushing into their house in the background of his stream.

“And see what’s in the background?” the server asks rewinding the video. She zooms in on Jas shrieking in fright as her Tiktok dance routine is interrupted by the shouting of the cops. 

“Oh wow, that’s…wow,” Mackenzie says robotically, her stomach dropping through the floor and her emotions with it. 

“Right?! Well, it’s very nice to meet you and your-” she pauses, allowing Rion the space to fill in the blank. 

“Date,” Rion bites out, displaying his unnervingly straight, pearly white teeth. The server ignores his reply and looks in back of her, mouthing a curse at something that’s caught her attention.

“I gotta go. But it’s been nice talking with you! My name’s Tess. I’m not your server for the evening, but I had to come and say hi and thought I’d get your order in while I did. Tell Ari I hope he’s staying mighty,” Tess requests as she power walks away, back to her section. 

Mackenzie smiles and nods, a deafening high pitched noise ringing in her ears as she stares blankly out into space. 

Ari called her work, talked to Amanda and threatened to commit suicide so people would like/comment/subscribe, and then was ‘shocked Pikachu face’ when Amanda did what she’s supposed to do by calling the cops. 

A hot flush that goes frigid and numbs her entire body settles over her. Ari’s going to find some way to pin it all on her, to make it all her fault, to take it out on her. Her insides that have frozen to ice tell her so. 

“Mackenzie? Darling? Are you quite alright?” Rion’s eyes narrow as he watches her face carefully, curiosity turning to recognition as the rise and fall of her chest begins to quicken, her eyelids squeezing tightly shut. 

“I’ll be okay, I just need a minute,” Mac whispers with a shuddering breath, her hands beginning to tremble. “I think I’m having a panic attack. It’s okay, it’ll pass. It always does.”

Rion’s jaw tightens, his nostrils flaring in anger as he forcibly exhales through them. 

Mackenzie is too far gone into her panic spiral to notice him rudely summon their section’s server back to their table with a loud snap that startles the other diners around them. Mackenzie can’t hear a word Rion says to their server, only that he discreetly slips a few green bills featuring the balding head of Benjamin Franklin into their pocket. 

Her body moves on its own as he assists her to stand with practiced courtly manners. She walks with him in a daze, barely noticing the arm curled around her waist, their fingers tightly intertwined as he guides her to the hotel elevators.

[themuselesswriter]

The Monk’s Wife - Chapter 7: An Amused Queen

Characters: Lancelot Du Lac, Original Female Character, Original Male Character, Squirrel

Summary: Tarja takes a day off to spoil her husband but Squirrel doesn't really allow them any peace, especially after he notices the bruises on Lancelot.

Word count: 1400+

Warnings: implied abuse

A/N: This fanfic has been becoming more of a night-time imagination than a well constructed work that makes sense, it will only get weirder from here so enjoy!

Credits: photos from Pinterest, editing app is picsart

--------------------------Teaser--------------------------

The next morning Tarja woke up with a headache, she looked around at the state of the house, it was a mess, broken furniture everywhere, a few drops of blood, she recalls nothing “Lancelot” she called, but he did not answer, her heart raced, someone broke in and hurt him! Who would dare! She rushed to search for him, he wasn’t in the kitchen preparing a meal, nor in the bedroom, at last, she decided to search for him in the second room and that’s when she saw him, sitting in a corner, hugging himself, he was barely visible “Lancelot?” she asked worried.

He lifted his head up and looked at her, she rushed to him and knelt next to him “Lancelot, are you alright? Who did this?” She asked once she noticed the dried blood on his face, he flenched as she reached out to examin it “I’m sorry, alright? I wish if I had the courage and the understanding to end my life, I sadly didn’t and I couldn’t! I will leave just like you requested” he wept, the woman looked confused “I don’t understand, why would you want to leave?” She frowned.

The weeping one looked at her confused for a moment “because you don’t want me here” he replied, she looked even more puzzled “what makes you say that? I just pardoned you, I want you here, of course i do! You are my husband!” The man opened his mouth to speak but he was uncertain of what to say, this was beyond odd “do you not recall yesterday?” She shrugged “I got drunk and I assume fell on the ground asleep” She truly remembers nothing, none of the hatred nor the beating “what happened to you? Did someone hurt you? Who did it?” She asked “y-you” She blinked a few times, she recalls nothing of last night.

That’s when it hit her, Tate, he intoxicated her, she groaned “I’m sorry about whatever happened yesterday but it wasn’t me, I swear it” she assured him, he looked confused “my people… we manipulate fire and intoxicate thoughts, if the brain loses control which I assume happened by the hands of ale! I apologize, I never meant to hurt you” She said softly “this makes no sense” She nodded “I know but my brother… Tate, I suppose he used his powers on me yesterday and made this happen, it is a rare gift that he alone holds” she huffed.

Continue Reading

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 24: Practical Magic

I didn’t do a lot this weekend, but I did write two more scenes of my fic, made a really good dinner by actually cooking, and finished out the day by doing some sewing and watching Practical Magic again.

Before watching, I looked up the run time, and also found the rotten tomatoes scores for it. It is hilarious to me that the critics’ and viewers’ scores are so different (something like 23% versus 78% or something) but it makes a lot of sense. Like, is this movie good? Uh…. I wouldn’t say it’s good. It definitely is a book that was translated as literally as possible to the screen and it suffers for that. I haven’t read the book, but I can tell just by watching because the structure would work just fine as a novel and it does not work in a 2-hour film format. There’s sort of a ‘prologue’ and an ‘actual plot’ but not really because it’s hard to figure out where the prologue ends and the plot begins, and I think the most generous, by which I mean shortest, reading of the prologue is that it’s a solid 20 minutes. There isn’t really a plot in general, so much as there are events that happen in a row and necessary story beats that are hit as efficiently as possible, and then moved on from. Many events happen for obviously contrived reasons. For example, when the aunts leave, they say it’s because the sisters need to clean up their own mess—and yet then the aunts return, when the mess is not cleaned up, specifically to save the day. Almost like the actual main characters need to be left alone for a while but there’s no clear reason why they should be, so we’ll just… make one up, and rescind it when we don’t want it anymore. The movie also switches around a lot between genres, sometimes a comedy, sometimes a romance, sometimes a horror, sometimes a sweet girl-bonding small-town story. If I were reviewing this film professionally, I’d have to harp on all of this as, like, objectively not good.

That said, I have such fondness for it. I would probably rate it at like 78 or 80%, won’t lie. I watched it for the first time during the pandemic (October 2020) and found it so soothing and pleasant. This time I needed that less, but I still enjoyed it for the same reasons. It’s just a nice place to be: the small town, the island, the lighting, the house (of course the house!!), the costumes, the actors, the female-centric narrative. I probably would have liked it more if it had less plot, honestly. Less distraction from what I’m really here for, which is 4 women dancing around the kitchen and making margaritas at midnight.

I don’t know that I found the romance very convincing. I actually remembered it as being mostly a romance but I think that’s because I had been sold the movie, from tumblr, as like basically Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman are witch sisters in a kickass witch house in the 90s and so the presence of any man and any romance was pretty surprising. This time, expecting it to be a bigger deal, it surprised me how little there actually was of the Detective or whoever. I mean he had more of a personality than the first husband/sperm donor but not that much.

As far as genres go, it was probably most effective as an allegory for abuse: that Gillian’s ex-boyfriend literally inhabits her, that he appears exorcised repeatedly but keeps recurring, and that it is a strong network of women that finally frees her from him.

But, also, if there had been no plot at all but just the three generations of lady witches hanging out in their awesome house, making potions, and taking walks around their picaresque little seaside town, I would have also been happy with that. I mean if one were to make the argument that this movie exists so that the shot of Sandra Bullock blowing a candle on could turn a generation of women gay, I’d be like, that checks out.

I just love, and find such comfort in, female-centric media. It’s not that the bar is lower, it’s just that the bar is different. I’m looking for different things, I think. Like, oh, something that centers the experiences and priorities of women? It’s already giving me something I get almost nowhere so I’m half sold.

So, anyway, I enjoyed it. I don’t think it’s every year watching but like every couple of years? Yeah. I think it feels nicer in a way to think about it than to actually watch but already I’m looking at it fondly for its soft color palette and pleasant 90s wardrobe choices.

[mangoofthesea]

Warning for a semi personal very angry and longer than I intended rant about people's opinions on domestic abuse, amongst other things:

I am extremely tired of there not being understanding from some that others are not as strong as they are. People are allowed to need help, they are allowed to be vulnerable they are allowed to not be able to help themselves because maybe they don't know how, or they do but there are obstacles. Maybe there are solutions but it will rock the boat too much for them to see it as worth it. I'm so fuckjng sick of this attitude of 'yes but why do you have to be vulnerable and not be able to sort all of this on your own because you should?' While at the same time making that exception where they think it's okay.

Basically why is it okay that you can see *I* need help because I lost my parents, because I'm 20 and tired and I had a load of stuff dumped on me before I was at an age I was ready. Yet you PRESUME that anyone else in a bad situation who doesn't have help can just. get themselves out of it. Or make their life better if they try hard enough because you did. Maybe they wouldn't succeed. Maybe they'd fucking die in a gutter because they couldn't pay for housing and got hypothermia. Maybe their partner beat them to death and they got brain damage. Maybe they wanted their kids to have both parents even if one of them is SHIT. Maybe I wouldn't have been okay if you hadn't helped me. Maybe j would have fucking overdosed or slit my wrists rather than deal with life. Maybe I would have become a shell of myself and given up on life and university and anything beyond staying here and helping my family.

Why do *I* deserve to have help but you have to have the mentality that I would have been alright eventually without it? Because you were? You found a stable partner at 26. You were in a better housing market. You were maybe in the right places at the right times and made a couple good choices by chance. So why is it your right to judge that someone else, even a character on a TV show, is at fault for not getting the same chances you had? For staying in an abusive relationship, which you have never been in, and get to judge that they are irritating because they could have left? Does it make you feel less sad about the world because you can put the blame of some people's circumstances back onto them in order for you to not feel hopeless? I wonder if that's it. Because if you recognise that sometimes people can truly not have a happy life through no fault of their own, and it's not just in third world countries, or whatever you judge to be 'okay' as 'yes it's not their fault' then it feels sad. It feels fucking horrible to have to acknowledge that sometimes things are bad, and maybe someone's life is terrible, and they COULD do something about it. But that COULD is a million miles away due to whatever has happened jn their life up to that point to mean that they do not have the resources, knowhow, emotional, spiritual, and physical strength to do what you think is so Not Easy But Doable.

Just because you are strong does not mean that some do not have the right to be weak

[murasaki-cha]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Thanks....

Hi sorry for the late reply I was dealing with *flashbacks to me screaming and crying over Yuumori on the floor* stuff

Boy this is tough because I love so may characters. So this isn’t in any particular order:

1. Cardan Greenbriar- I love his character development. He’s such a complex character shown to be selfish but also selfless, cruel yet kind, incredibly smart but dumb. And also a real romantic. He’s a genuinely kind person being forced into a heavily toxic and abusive environment and being forced to abide by the rule “survival of the fittest”. Take him out of that environment and you discover that he’s just a playful kind boy who never had anyone to rely to. Just really love him so much

2. Alex Fierro- they’re literally my favorite in the entire pj universe. Amazing, brave, talented, fierce but kind too, stands for their ideals and rights, never takes shit from anyone etc etc. I love them a lot. And I think Uncle Rick wrote Alex’s genderfluidity really well. Alex just wants people to accept their gender and them as a person. They’re not just their gender or their “unusual” appearance. They’re an awesome warrior, smart, creative and just. The turned the powers they got from Loki which he used to manipulate and control them, and made them their own. And they have a great sense of style if I may say.

3. Eruhaben- he’s an old soul. The dad of the group. And he’s a tsundere which is one of my weakness. It’s honestly his kindness that attracted me to him. He’s a dragon so that’s why he should be extremely selfish but he’s so selfless. He wants to protect his kids. He doesn’t think it’s worth living anymore even with everyone telling him otherwise, even if he actually wants to live. I just have a lot of feels about Goldie gramps.

4. Penelope Eckart- queen. She’s fierce, intelligent, calculative but also really emotionally vulnerable and broken. The entire Yvonne arc thing showed us just what a terrible mental state she’s in. She’s really complex and in my opinion an accurate representation of someone suffering from depression. And my favorite thing is that she didn’t stay with the duke family no matter how much they redeemed themselves. She chose the best environment for herself and her mental health.

5. 707 (Saeyoung Choi)- My husband in Mystic Messenger. Before playing the game I didn’t really have a big impression of him, I actually liked Yoosung more. But than I started getting into the game lore and he stole my heart. Reading about his past, his countless sacrifices, his pure love, his selfless, his desire to protect and how he loves you in every route and is self aware that this is a game for us. That just broke me and made me love this man so so much. He deserves everything.

6. Anya Forger- she’s a kid. That’s what I like about her. She was experimented since she was probably a baby, lost her biological parents, due to her powers she definitely knows too much, stuff that no child should hear or know, she definitely has a fear of abandonment and that’s why she tries so hard to keep her parents from finding out their and her real identities, so they don’t leave her. But despite all of this she’s just a little girl. She likes goofy tv shows, she wants to make friends, she doesn’t like doing homework, she over exaggerates a lot of things like any child her age does, she likes to sleep with her stuffed animals, she likes her big doggo. Anya could have been written as one of those kids that have lost hope on everything because of what happened to them before, but she’s not. She’s just a little kid.

7. William James Moriarty- man who saw this coming(said no one). Ok so I may be fairly new to the Yuumori fandom but god damn me of I would not give my life and soul for this man! He’s so complex and terrifying but he’s so kind. He has the right mindset but chose to execute his ideals in the cruelest way possible but only because he deemed that that was the only way. He used and hurt people, despite himself never wanting to, falling deeper and deeper into despair, making himself the greatest evil alone just so the people around him didn’t get punished and chose death as his ending because he wanted to escape and rest. Honestly Sherlock saved him. And their relationship is beautiful and pure. Exactly what Liam needed.

8. Kym Ladell- (please read Purple Hyacinth!!) Kym is the type of friend everyone deserves and doesn’t deserve at the same time. She’s selfless, courageous, the sunshine everyone needs. But she’s also broken. She hides her pain behind her smile. She’s scared for her loved ones, scared that they could get hurt or that she could hurt them. She’s scared of herself. And yet she tries to be ok. To act ok. She’s cheerful and goofy. If she can make her friends laugh that’s all that matters to her

9. Xie Lian- I’m channeling my inner Hua Cheng to explain this. Beloved angel who has never done anything wrong ever in his entire life. He’s gone through so much and has had every right to turn evil and destroy everything. And yet he chose to be good. He chose to forgive. He doesn’t know how to appreciate himself anymore because he finds no good within himself. He’s just surviving. That is until Hua Cheng came. Even after that he still never he still never stopped being selfless. But he has more self worth now. He’s not just surviving anymore, he’s living. And it’s so beautiful when a character does that

10. Princess Yona- It’s the amazing character development! She went from being this naïve princess, to getting betrayed by her loved ones and loosing everything overnight, experiencing the harshness and difficult life of every citizen of her kingdom and beyond outside of the palace walls, experiencing and fighting wars, changing the lives of so many and knowing what being a true ruler is like. She has the dragons, Yoon and Hak who always support her and she does depend on them but she fights her own battles, even if she has to bleed and hurt, she never backs down and fights. She wants the best for her country, her friends, her loved ones and for everyone else

Boy was it hard to choose only 10. I have so many more characters to talk about bit I’m not that great with explaining and writing stuff even those above took a lot of time to formulate and they’re not that good. I want to say so much about all of them but I don’t know how to say it.

Anyway thanks for letting me talk about this I really appreciate it😊

[ms-demeanor]

Just sitting here thinking about the fact that TERFs and radfems are all happy to defend JKR because JKR’s all about “defending those women” and “stopping rape” but was still happy to write

Rape as punishment (Umbridge and the Centaurs) up to and including a joke about flashbacks to trauma (Ron makes horse noises in the infirmary and Umbridge looks around in a panic to Harry/Ron/Hermione’s amusement)

A female rapist as a sympathetic victim (Merope Gaunt drugging her husband into loving her and him leaving her once she stopped drugging him being framed as, like, classism or wanting someone prettier or hating magic or “he left because he’d never wanted her” instead of a victim of years-long sexual abuse leaving his abuser)

Attempted date rape played off as a joke because it’s a woman attempting to drug a man and drugging the wrong person instead (Romilda Vane’s drugged cauldron cakes are fed to Ron instead of Harry, Romilda Vane is never punished for this and the issue of students drugging each other with love potions is never addressed again even though rape-via-love-potion is clearly an issue in-universe.)

And I’m thinking about how radfems talk about how they’d prefer sex workers be raped over “normal” people who haven’t “agreed” to be raped and how the Patriarchy-is-the-only-evil model is really fucking awful at handling intimate partner violence in same-sex relationships without claiming that the abusive partner isn’t a “real” woman because women are innately nonviolent and violence is only an expression of patriarchy and

okay

if we look at SPEW as the book’s analogy for feminism with the understanding that Rowling is a radical feminist then it actually MAKES SENSE that the house elves are happy slaves because it’s not making the comparison to chattel slavery, it’s making the comparison to compulsory heterosexuality. The elves aren’t *slaves* to Rowling, they’re *housewives* and some housewives are married to the Malfoys and want to get out but some are “married” to “good” institutions and are happy with their tradition and lot in life and Hermione is doing the “right” thing by attempting to trap them into freedom, just like radfems are doing the “right” thing when they call the cops on sex workers. Of course they don’t want to be freed and have to find a new way of life. Of course they don’t want to be arrested and “rehabilitated” from the only jobs they know. So somebody who “knows better” has to make them.

And I’m thinking about the way that characters in the books simply ARE what they are, they never BECOME. Dumbledore IS good, he didn’t have to *become* good and his brief dalliance with Magical Supremacy was never a real threat, it was just something his edgy boyfriend was into. Draco didn’t BECOME bad, he was bad because he was a Malfoy and in the end he didn’t BECOME good, he was the same person with the same beliefs but less power. Even Voldemort didn’t *become* bad, he always was - 7 years old and torturing other orphans in a cave because Good and Evil are Inherent Traits and You Are Good Or You Are Bad (side note: this is why Snape’s ‘redemption’ in canon is so unsatisfying - we are simply *told* Snape Is Good after years of him showing the exact sort of behavior one would EXPECT from an active bigot to his students and allies and his ‘redemption’ is unearned). Even Peter Pettigrew - he didn’t ‘go’ bad, he was always weak, no matter which side he was on.

You’re good or you’re bad

It’s black or it’s white

It’s a harm done by the patriarchy or it isn’t a harm

You’re one biological sex or the other

Nothing *becomes* nothing *changes* things simply *are* and you’ve got to live with that.

Anyway. I’m just thinking about that.

[dramionediscussion]

I recently read a Dramione fic that just got under my skin. I didn’t leave any negative comments, but I was definitely squicked. Almost triggered, honestly. The squick? Hermione keeps hitting Draco, and it’s presented as charming and part of the banter. She punches him - in the body and the face. Hits him with books. Throws things at him. Slaps him. All of it is in response to his playful banter, and her actions - even though she seriously injured him several times - is presented as her being cute and feisty. And when she’s not hitting him, she’s threatening to break his bones. Again, oh so cute, posits the author. But it’s not. Even if he wasn’t injured, it’s not. Even if it was “only threats”, it’s not. This toxic mentality is straight from old school romcoms and romance writing, and I hate it. Women hitting men is abuse. A woman threatening violence to a male romantic partner is abuse. If you can flip the genders and see abuse - well, it’s abuse. I hate that our society makes light of women assaulting men. It’s so gross and toxic, and I wish there was less of it in fic. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to nope out of a fic because I couldn’t take the “charming abuse.” For the fic in question, not one single comment called this behavior out, and I almost did so because I felt it was awful that no one said anything, but then all the “never leave negative comments; close the browser” stuff got in my head. I’m disappointed in myself, honestly, for not commenting that the author needs to tag domestic abuse. If authors want to write domestic violence, fine. Tag it and go forth. But presenting abuse as cute and expected and just part of the charm is gross.

I just wrote in about domestic violence, and I had to unload one more thing. When a fic has a sex scene where Hermione says no but Draco keeps going because he feels how wet she is - folks, that is rape. And so often, the scenes I’m talking about don’t tag for noncon or rape because the author presents the moment as romantic. Hermione’s “in her head” and can’t admit to wanting him. I read one recently where it was her POV and she was so glad he kept going despite her verbal protest, and just no. Why is this kind of thing presented as romance? My other, related squick - actually a trigger - is when sexual assault of males (particularly from a female assailant, but in any instance) is played off as a joke or inconsequential. If a man says no to sex, then he does not consent, and sexual activity must stop. I don’t care if he’s shy or in denial or trying to be chivalrous. If he says no and his partner keeps on, that’s rape. And if you are writing rape, you need to tag it as such. Men do not “always want it.” Men can say no. My husband was raped three times in the military and contracted HIV. Because he’s a man - and bisexual - it took him 20 years and countless lawyers to get the military to recognize his rapes as rape and provide a small disability stipend. He has complex PTSD. He is on edge in crowds. Sex itself is sometimes hard for him despite years of therapy. If we watch a movie that makes jokes about men getting raped in prison or something like that, I see him fold into himself. We need to get smarter about consent as a society, and we need to do a better job of calling a rape a rape - and tagging our fics as such.

I wholeheartedly agree! I haven't read one where she physically abuses him but many where she mentally does. I read one recently where she constantly starts arguments with him because she likes it! He always sighs or walks away when she gets worked up and she gets angry because why can't he see that she is just playing. I mean if you are arguing with a person and throwing their past in their face, what do you expect? How is that a joke?

It does resemble old-school rom-coms where the characters are horrible to one another but it's painted as romantic. It's not, it's toxic. It's unhealthy.

And yeah I know that we (I in particular) have said to just leave the fic, but I think, in this case, a comment to the author about their casual domestic violence is very warranted.

And I'm very sorry about your husband and glad he finally got justice and has a great support system. But you are right, male abuse is generally ignored or trivialized. And it's so wrong!!!!

And yes I have read fics where Hermione never explicitly consents to sex. It's unfortunately very common! And there isn't even a Dub-con tag to warn you.

This is 2022 we need to do better! Don't make light of toxic/unhealthy relationships, or abuse (physically or mentally). Also if a person says no, it means NO.

-Lisa

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Since the very conception of the motion picture, the LGBT community have been represented on-screen in some form. An early example is Algie the Miner (1912), a short silent film which follows the effeminate Algie (Billy Quirk), who enjoys kissing cowboys. In order to marry someone’s daughter, he heads west to prove that he’s a man. While this is quite an outdated stereotype of being gay, the portrayals have varied greatly over time. Only recently is LGBT representation becoming more positive and common. However, when it comes to portraying bisexuality on-screen, it still seems to be a difficult task.

Many narrative tropes have been birthed through filmmakers trying to show sexuality on-screen and most of them contribute directly to the overall erasure of bisexuality in cinema – usually with ambiguous portrayals, negative stereotyping and characters needing to pick a side. Not all instances are problematic, but their prevalence isn’t helping to combat the stigma that bisexual people face. There are three main tropes when it comes to depicting bisexuality, which is infidelity, picking a side, and the horrible husband. They’re usually found together in a common narrative that erases bisexuality, whether intentional or not.

Infidelity

There’s a long-standing stereotype that bisexual people are more likely to cheat on their partners and are incapable of commitment. This is a trope that is heavily carried in some of the most well-known depictions of bisexuality. Typically, a female protagonist is engaged or married to a man, but she meets a lesbian woman and they become involved sexually and romantically, leaving the protagonist torn between two lovers. This happens in Imagine Me & You (2005) when Rachel (Piper Perabo) falls in love with lesbian flower shop owner Luce (Lena Headey), who provided the flowers for her wedding to Hector (Matthew Goode). It’s a fairly average film that could’ve been amazing had it acknowledged Rachel’s bisexuality, but it’s still one of the better ones considering Perabo and Headey have amazing chemistry.

For some reason, bisexual characters are often in serious relationships when they’re suddenly sexually awakened. This happened to Rachel right after her wedding because she happened to meet the right woman. While this type of experience does happen in real life, it’s always the go-to narrative for films about women realizing they’re not one-hundred-percent straight. In these instances, the same-sex love affair acts as the conflict within the narrative – this can create good drama when done right, but it gets boring and bisexual characters deserve better than constantly being portrayed as cheaters. People are not more promiscuous or likely to cheat on their partners because of their sexuality, but these tropes are constantly telling people otherwise.

We deserve to see bisexual characters whose sexuality isn’t the main narrative focus or who at least explore their sexuality outside of a relationship. Appropriate Behaviour (2014) is a good example of this as Shirin (Desiree Akhavan, who is also the film’s writer and director) is a bisexual Persian American woman who is keeping her sexuality a secret from her judgemental family, while also attempting to rebuild her life after breaking up with her girlfriend. Seeing bisexuality portrayed on-screen is another place where people pick up more stigma or acceptance, and with bisexuality it, unfortunately, seems to be the former. This is why bisexual filmmakers like Akhavan are better suited to portraying the experiences of bisexual men and women than others.

Picking A Side

When the protagonist is in conflict with her sexuality, the people around her usually wonder if she’s a lesbian now – despite them being engaged or married to a man. This can be seen in Below Her Mouth (2010) where Jasmine (Natalie Krill) begins having an affair with Dallas (Erika Linder). When her husband finds out, he tells her “You’re a lesbian” but she tells him that she loves him and nothing has changed between them. It seems impossible to grasp that a person could be attracted to both men and women. Bisexuality is erased.

Some films insinuate that the protagonist isn’t necessarily bisexual or even a lesbian, it’s just that they’re attracted to this one woman only and no others – they’re an exception! This is the kind of impression you get from Below Her Mouth, but also from other films such as Imagine Me & You and Elena Undone (2010), which isn’t particularly helpful for lesbian representation either. In Imagine Me & You, Rachel tells Hector “You are my best friend. That was enough before, and it will be enough again.” This implies that Rachel was never truly attracted to him in a romantic sense, thus implying that she’s a lesbian. While this could be a case of compulsory heteronormativity, it seems problematic as it’s never discussed or explained. Avoiding discussions about sexuality – as most of these films do – are what contribute to this trope massively and result in misinterpretation and erasure.

Films as new as Netflix’s Alex Strangelove (2018) also feed into the idea that bisexuality is a stepping stone to picking a side. Alex (Daniel Doheny) prepares to lose his virginity to his girlfriend but finds his plans derailed when he’s attracted to another boy. He spends most of the film questioning his sexuality and at one point thinks he’s bisexual. The film does highlight biphobia which brings attention to this problem, so it’s disheartening at the end when Alex realizes he is gay and not bisexual after all. The set up for Alex Strangelove was perfect for a bisexual love story and, while it’s still positive LGBT representation, it’s a shame it didn’t stick with that. It’s even rarer to see bisexual men portrayed on-screen, so it would’ve been really rewarding.

It’s important to acknowledge that bisexuality is a comfortable place for some people to be while they’re trying to accept that they are gay – and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, there still seems to be some widespread discomfort when it comes to sexuality being fluid. For bisexual people, there isn’t any side to pick – they’re not torn between polar opposites, nor are they confused. They aren’t on the fence, they’re on both sides of the fence. Nevertheless, films continue to portray bisexuality as a personal conflict that needs resolving, and it does this by putting bisexual characters in a situation where they’re having affairs. This makes their sexuality the narrative conflict, which is wholly problematic in itself.

The Horrible Husband

The protagonist’s fiancé or husband is usually abusive or passive in the relationship, and thus portrayed as the antagonist. She is then drawn to a lesbian woman who treats her so much better and gives her the attention she deserves. Sometimes it’s as though these films are saying that lesbianism is the cure for a dissatisfying heterosexual relationship. This contributes to bisexual erasure by suggesting that bisexual women can only be happy with women and never with a man because they’re horrible or not good enough. It also perpetuates the idea of picking a side – almost telling bisexuals that they should just be lesbians instead.

This trope is found in films like Elena Undone, where Elena (Necar Zadegan) meets Peyton (Traci Dinwiddie) who is a famous lesbian writer. Elena’s husband Barry (Gary Weeks), however, is a homophobic pastor. Elena Undone is actually loosely based on director Nicole Conn’s real-life romance with Marina Rice Bader, but the film itself isn’t great. It’s also shown in The World Unseen (2007) as Miriam (Lisa Ray) quietly follows the customs of 1950s South Africa, alongside dealing with her abusive husband Omar (Parvin Dabas). Miriam becomes empowered to change her circumstances when she meets and falls in love with free-spirited cafe owner Amina (Sheetal Sheth).

A much better film that deals with this trope is Bound (1996). Lesbian ex-con Corky (Gina Gershon) arrives at an apartment building to start work as a painter and plumber. She soon finds herself being seduced by Violet (Jennifer Tilly) who lives next door with her boyfriend Caesar (Joe Pantoliano). Violet explains that they’ve been together for five years and he’s a money launderer for the mafia. She wants to escape and make a new life for herself, so she and Corky plan to steal $2 million of Mafia money and blame it on Caesar. The horrible husband trope actually works well in this film because the women plan to screw Caesar over and it doesn’t use Violet’s infidelity as the main narrative conflict – it’s a lot more original, which isn’t surprising as the first directorial feature film from the Wachowski Sisters. Bound would’ve been much less effective if Caesar was just a regular guy who Violet hated, but she has a better motive with the drama surrounding his violent mafia connections.

These three tropes are collectively the entire plot of Imagine Me & You, Elena Undone, The World Unseen, I Can’t Think Straight (2008), Kiss Me (2011) and more. It’s a shame that there isn’t always a huge focus on the actual relationship between the two women in these films. It’s more about them hiding their relationship and because they officially get together at the end, we never get to see much of what their life is like as a couple. They all feature very similar themes, meaning that when it comes to telling the stories of bisexual characters, the narrative is rarely diverse. Romantic comedies in general always follow the same beats which is fine, but these tropes for bisexual characters either erase their sexuality and/or display it as a problem.

These tropes can still work well (like with Bound) depending on certain aspects of the narrative. Infidelity works well in Carol (2015) due to the 1950s setting. Carol (Cate Blanchett), who is in the process of divorcing her horrible husband, and Therese (Rooney Mara) have to hide their relationship due to homosexuality not being accepted during this time. This adds an extra layer to the narrative, giving actual depth to why things are happening the way that they are. There’s also Disobedience (2017) where it works well due to the Orthodox Jewish culture. Ronit (Rachel Weisz), who is considered bisexual, returns to the community for her father’s funeral to find her childhood friend Esti (Rachel McAdams) married to a man. Esti describes herself as a lesbian woman in a relationship with a man, which is disheartening but works in the film’s world. Disobedience also plays through the infidelity trope very differently to other films, allowing it to be more effective.

The Erasure

In films with bisexual characters, it’s rare that the word “bisexual” actually comes up. It’s mostly ambiguous, implied or erased completely by the protagonist seemingly picking a side. It’s constantly reinforced by narrative tropes that are set up for dramatic entertainment, with no real intention of representing sexuality with genuine care. Erasure also happens due to words like “gay” being used as an umbrella term when referring back to certain films. Brokeback Mountain (2005) and Call Me By Your Name (2017), for example, are often referred to as gay films on social media due to the gay relationships portrayed, However, the characters are portrayed to be sexually fluid/bisexual due to the nature of their relationships with women. It also happens with films like Blue Is the Warmest Colour (2014) which is always painted as a lesbian love story when Adèle (Adèle Exarchopoulos) is clearly bisexual. It’s not necessarily bad to use gay and lesbian as umbrella terms, but it, unfortunately, does contribute to bisexual erasure. We should be bringing more attention to bisexuality on-screen and pointing it out specifically when we see it.

One of the biggest erasures is the portrayal of bisexual men. They appear much less frequently than bisexual women. The most recent example that comes to mind is Jake Gyllenhaal’s character in Velvet Buzzsaw (2019), but the word bisexual was never used and he was portrayed as being promiscuous, which fits into the negative stereotype (although the film is satire so perhaps it can be excused). Some better, or at least more interesting, depictions of bisexual men are still out there and can be found in films such as Velvet Goldmine (1998), Kaboom (2010), The Comedian (2012), The Lobster (2015) and Moonlight (2016).

If anything, bisexual characters are usually left out of the bury your gays/dead lesbian syndrome trope. It’s very common both in film and television for gay men and lesbian women to be killed off in some dramatic way, such as in Brokeback Mountain, The Fox (1967), Les Biches (1968), Lost and Delirious (2001) and A Single Man (2009). Bisexual women have been killed off quite a bit in television – like Marissa Cooper (Mischa Barton) in The O.C. – but they’re relatively safe in film and hopefully, it’ll stay that way.

Acknowledging Bisexuality

It is disheartening that bisexual representation on-screen isn’t as good or as frequent as gay and lesbian representation. We’re also at a time where it could be massively improved, but now we face the barrier of “queer” as another umbrella term. It’s wholly unhelpful when not everyone identifies with it and when we want bisexual characters to say the word bisexual on-screen. We want to be acknowledged. Bisexual actress Stephanie Beatriz made sure her bisexual character in Brooklyn Nine-Nine got to say it earlier this year, because that word means something to certain people and the impact is great. Hopefully this will start to happen more in film going forward.

There are definitely films out there where the word bisexual is actually said, like in Appropriate Behaviour, Kiss Me, Velvet Goldmine and Margarita with a Straw (2014). It’s rare that we hear it so when we do it’s pretty exciting. In addition to these, other films that feature positive and/or complex portrayals of bisexual characters in general (and not the previously discussed tropes) are: Cabaret (1972), Chasing Amy (1997), Black Swan (2010), Atomic Blonde (2017) and Tully (2018).

There have been many positive and negative depictions of bisexuality, but the majority of them aren’t great or feed into the biphobia and the erasure of the identity. Filmmakers need to do better when it comes to portraying bisexual characters and their stories. It’s always helpful when bisexual people themselves get a voice, whether as writers, directors or actors. For some reason, although there are exceptions, most straight male and lesbian filmmakers have trouble portraying bisexuality both positively and accurately. They essentially give the message that bisexuality doesn’t exist or is an inner conflict that needs to be resolved. We must do better because one day someone will be watching a film where a character says “bisexual” and their life will suddenly fall into place.

[popanalysis99]

Women abusing men in pop culture: Why is it taken so lightly?

We all know how horrible it is when us women are physically, emotionally and mentally abused by men. But when a man suffers the same with the woman being an abuser, why is it taken lightly and brushed off? 

For many years, domestic violence has mostly focused on women as the victims and men as the perpetrators. If the domestic violence case involves a man as the victim, it goes unnoticed because men refuse to report it otherwise they will be embarrased, ridiculed or mocked for their struggles. 

Men who report domestic abuse will face a social stigma regarding their lack of machismo and other denigrations of their masculinity. And not just that, they end up being accused of abusing the woman they are in relationship with or they are forced to be separated from their kids if they want to leave their abusive wives.

When men are expected to take responsibility for their actions, no excuses are accepted, but when the women are the perpetrators of the abuse, they are given the excuses such as: stress, menopause etc. 

Why can’t men report abuse?

There are many reasons as to why men can’t file a domestic violence case against their abusers which are:

Fear of not being believed

Fear of not being able to see their kids

Fear of being accused for the abuse due to society prejudices

Fear of revenge by the abuser

Fear of the abuser making fake allegations against him in order to look more innocent.

Fear of being left homeless

There are even long lasting effects of the victims of female-on-male abuse which are:

Low self-esteem

Anger

Depression

Anxiety

Loneliness

Sleeping Problems

Substance Abuse

When Domestic Abuse against Men is brushed off in the media.

There have been countless depictions of domestic abuse in the media, with both female and male victims. But when it’s the female victim, it’s a serious matter, but when it’s a male victim, either people laugh at it or treat it as justifiable or treat the female abuser as some sort of a “ feminist girlboss”.

Mostly in Anime when a female character abuses a man, it’s treated as comedy. Most of the scenarios involve them accidentally walking in on them changing or accidentally crashing into their bodies unintentionally and then they get beaten up for it and are falsely accused of being a “pervert”. The anime Baka To Test To Shokanjuu perfectly sums this up when the lead female characters bullies and humiliates the main male characters. Minami and Shouko are the biggest examples when they are shown physically abusing their boyfriends for smallest mistakes they make.

This happens a lot in TV shows as well, mostly in comedies. Like in Two and a Half Men, which sends a toxic message that “men will be men”, it also shows that Judith is a much bigger bastard like them, possibly a sociopath. She divorces Alan out of boredom, then proceeds to financially and mentally abuse him for sadistic pleasure and frames him for being a horrible father to Jake. She hates it whenever Alan shows a bit of independence and goes out of her way to make sure he will be miserable forever. She does it again with her new husband Herb, who is only flaw is being nice to everyone around him and still misuses his trust and uses him as her personal punching bag. Honestly, I wished the show would’ve ended with her ending up alone and homeless for everything she did.

Another example of this was in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Before there was Amy Dunne from Gone Girl, there was Janet. when Will begins dating his friend Jazz’s sister and while they are at a restaurant, she drops her sweet facade to reveal herself as a tyrannical sociopath who controls Will based on what he eats, where will he go to college and what will he do with his life. When he tells Uncle Phil and Aunt Viv, they brush it off. But one day when Carlton tells her off about what a horrible human being she is, she immediately becomes polite and drawn to him. So the message that they showed here is that it’s the guy’s fault if they don’t stand up for themselves, while his controlling girlfriend gets away with irreversibly ruining the lives of almost everyone who didn’t meet her expectations.

A bigger example of female-on-male abuse in dramatic shows was in the series Mr. Robot.

In the series, Angela Moss is the best friend/crush of the protagonist Elliot Alderson. Her only goal in life is to get justice for her mother’s death at the hands of E Corp and become the most powerful woman in the world. While it’s understandable that she is stuck in a male-dominated workplace and how the E Corp CTO and her ex-boyfriend treated her badly, she begins to misuse her victim mentality and ends up getting brainwashed by Whiterose. She then begins to psychologically abuse and gaslight Elliot in order to complete Stage 2 and not just that, she even emotionally abuses him when he finds out and plays the victim in this entire debacle, she sees not listening to Elliot and Darlene when he tries to warn her about the Stage 2 bombings as her personal “feminist” moment. And then weeks after the attack, due to her clinging onto her beliefs about Whiterose’s machine, she begins to blame Elliot for manipulating her into telling him about Whiterose’s plan when she herself was the one doing the same thing to him. While Whiterose’s manipulation was mostly the main reason for this, another part of it was probably because she was jealous of how Elliot was the “chosen one” in taking down E Corp and wanted to punish him for it and take over the mantle.

Most of the fans saw her actions as “sympathetic” and “justifiable”, with some of them calling her treatment of Elliot, who was nothing but kind to her the entire time, a “feminist girlboss move” and overlooked the fact that she psychologically tortured Elliot and reminded him that he was worthless and nobody was going to love him, not even Angela herself. Even if there were some fans who called her out for doing this and pointed out how horrible it was, others would brush their opinions off as “misogynistic” and “sexist” because “they apparently don’t like seeing a powerful corporate woman.”

Angela even kinda represented a privileged white feminist who believed that she was the only one struggling with issues and had bigger problems than anyone else, overlooking the fact that her friends that were on the lower position than her and brushed them off because her issues were more traumatic than theirs.

It even further showed a lot of double standard of Angela and Elliot manipulating someone to do their job. While both actions were horrible, Elliot got a lot of hate and scrutiny for blackmailing Olivia and drugging her coffee with the drugs she tried to stay clean from, calling it as something he “crossed a line in”. But when Angela almost did the same thing with him and drugged him as well, it was treated as “sympathetic” and “heroic” by the fans and treated her as some sort of a “feminist” for it, overlooking the fact that she was abusing a man to the point he almost lost his self esteem. At some point I even saw someone say that Angela did “nothing wrong” at all and didn’t like how Elliot was in season 3, was it because he was trying to stop her from going through with an attack that could kill thousands? Did they expect him to stay silent, not stand up for himself and let Angela stomp him a lot?

Conclusion

Abuse is something which is extremely serious, whether it’s a female or male victim. Like the female victims, men too deserve to have their voices heard and taken seriously if something terrible happens to them and we should believe them. 

Here are the helpine numbers if you or someone you know is facing domestic abuse:

Central Social Welfare Board -Police Helpline - 1091/ 1291, (011) 23317004

SAARTHAK - (011) 26853846/ 26524061

Nirmal Niketan - (011) 27859158

National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1.800.799.SAFE 

National Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0808 2000 247

[therealvinelle]

What are your thoughts on the Life and Death counterparts of the Cullens?

Oh boy, can of worms.

In short, my canon-friendly blog draws a hard line of NOPE when it comes to Life and Death. The Cullens are very reliant on their genders, swap it up and there wouldn’t be a coven in the first place. Not as we know it, anyhow. To swap things up without anything changing is to erase the experiences of men and women through history.

Disclaimer - I haven’t actually read the book, but I’ve gathered enough from the Twilight wiki. And since you’re not asking me about the plot, I think we’re good.

Alphabetically:

Archie. Both men and women were admitted to mental asylums at the turn of the century, but it was largely women. Mary Alice Brandon was forcibly institutionalized by her abusive father, which in turn was allowed to happen because no one believed her stories and thought she was mad. The story screams “Hysterical woman”. Could the same thing have happened if she were a boy? Sure. But I find it reductive.

Carine. Hoo boy, this one had me so exasperated I have a fic on it. That one gets slightly AU as her father survives the vampire, whereas in canon he was killed, but I say it goes. Anyway, Carine. You can’t take a 17th century man, make him a woman, and expect the same character to come out the other end. You just can’t. Carine and Carlisle are not going to be the same person. I think if Carine was anything like her male counterpart, she would stay in Volterra far longer than he did, if she ever left, as Volterra would be the one place in the world she could pursue knowledge, where she could educate herself and become an academic, the same as any man. It’d be her equality oasis, and she’d be leaving behind more than friendships if she left. If she went into the human world, or even tried to become a doctor, she’d have to crossdress. And I imagine she’d still be crossdressing in 2005, because misogyny and sexism isn’t going away anytime soon and it’s just what she’s used to by now. Carine puts on trousers and a fake beard before she leaves the house, it’s just how she lives her life.

Earnest. This guy is just... lackluster. Esme was turned because her husband was shitty and her son died, so she jumped off a cliff. Alright, let’s give Earnest a shitty wife and a dead kid, now he’ll jump off a cliff too. It’s just so uninspired, and I question the fact that Esme was abused, while Earnest’s wife was an alcoholic. Why can’t the woman be abusive?

Edythe. Edward’s character is strongly informed by his gender, yet I can’t imagine girl Edward being any less creepy. In case any of my readers have read @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin‘s fic Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus, I picture Edythe as the character Tequila. Which is to say girl!Edward gives strong vibes of an intense and creepy (it’s Edward) lesbian. Given Edward’s backstory, Edythe would still be turned, though. So, that still happens.

Eleanor. Mauled by a bear. Alright. I have no thoughts on that. I lied, I do. Eleanor’s uninspiredness is one of the reasons why this book is redundant. There’s nothing to do with this character, and so nothing is done. Nothing changes. Which, if we’re changing everyone’s gender, then the meaningful way to do that is to look at how that would change things. How has male and female socialization affected Edward and Bella? Who would Jessamine, Carine, Royal be? These questions are unfortunately rhetorical because Life and Death sure isn’t answering them.

Jessamine. It’s nice that Jasper isn’t a confederate in this AU, but I just find the story of Jessamine contrived. Besides, Jasper wasn’t supposed to be in the army, he lied about his age. If gender changes nothing, wouldn’t Jessamine crossdress her way into the army? Not that I’d want her to, glad she didn’t, but... Like the other Cullens, Jessamine’s backstory becomes a thought exercise of “How can I make the Cullens still happen, and as close to their original backstories as possible?”, one in which the answer is apparently to treat their backstories like check points. Jessamine gets turned by Maria, check, becomes warrior, check. It just feels so lazy to me.

Royal. Easily the worst. Well, Carine is the worst in terms of making no sense, but Royal... don’t genderbend Rosalie, people. And if you insist then don’t take out the rape. It’s just insensitive and uncalled for all around.

Then we have the fact that Aro and Caius were killed off-screen in a ridiculous manner. Let’s say that they were caught killing Didyme. So what? There’s no vampire cops. They were the leaders of their coven. If they’re caught killing Didyme it would mean Aro is sad because Marcus will leave, and he just killed his sister for nothing. What won’t happen is that they’re executed.

Mele’s power is another thing I take issue with. If a power like hers existed in canon... well, Caius would have a gift, for starters. More, the Volturi guard would be a repository of loyalists who were bequeathed gifts as rewards. The vampire world would be combed for new gifts, as it would only be prudent for Aro to have as many as possible and his potential enemies none. It’d be a different world, period.

The Volturi debacee seems to me like a misguided shot at girlpower on Meyer’s end, that this time around Sulpicia and Athenodora come out on top while Aro and Caius get their just desserts. Like everything else in Life and Death, it fell flat.

EDIT: Apparently I mixed up my Royces and my Royals. Yikes. Praise be to @toquesreveladores for the catch

[chiizuburger]

Let's talk about the series Giri/Haji (2019) aka the most underrated series in Netflix

I literally just finished Giri/Haji and I need to talk about it. Because I don't think I've ever been this...in love with a series since ever.

First things first, I'mma share a little bit how I learned about the series:

I became obsessed with Sophia di Martino after seeing her in Loki, and like anyone with a heart, I looked through her IMDB to find where else can I see her?!

And I stumbled upon Flowers, which is an equally phenomenal series also available in Netflix, and I discovered Will Sharpe.

And lemme tell ya, he's a beautiful piece of mankind and I learned that not only did he write and direct and act in Flowers, but he is also the lucky husband of Sophia.

Then I saw that Will won a BAFTA for his role in Giri/Haji. Learned that it was also in Netflix and a week later (because I wanted to savor it), here we are.

Okay. No-spoiler thoughts first.

If you dig detective series and/or British series and/or Japanese drama, this delicious piece of bilingual media is for you.

If you love the whole "found family" premise, this is for you.

Off the bat, Will's character Rodney is the clear scene stealer of this series. Right from the first episode, you just know you're gonna love him and wanna give him all the love he sorely needs.

I adore that Kenzo isn't written as a macho detective lead. He allows himself to be vulnerable and isn't afraid to get in touch with his emotions.

Of course, as the Japanese man he is, it takes time for him to accept his emotions, but I'm happy he doesn't resort to anger or self-pity to deal with them.

I love how all the women--and I mean all of the women characters--are strong-willed and unapologetic and flawed and fierce and I-will-stab-you-in-the-legs-if-you-grope-me energy. All of em. They take no bull shit and I respect that.

It is particularly nice to see that kind of energy with Japanese women, who are often written as innocent and demure and pure.

My most favorite aspects of this series is its cinematography, its editing, and its storytelling.

The various ways it uses cinematic language and different forms of media to highlight important moments of the story really makes the series a well-crafted show.

My favorite episodes are Episode 3, 4, and 6.

Episode 4 was particularly memorable. It is one of the best flashback episodes I've ever seen and it deepens our perspective of every main character.

My favorite sequence comes in both Episode 6 and Episode 8, the finale.

Despite getting recognized by BAFTA, the show got cancelled after one season.

But you know what?

(Spoiler thoughts start under the cut)

I think it was a smart move to keep it a one-off drama.

Everything actually wrapped up nicely. There's one semi-loose end that I need reassurance about, which is whether Rodney and Sarah (our female lead detective) become friends again and Rodney can fully realize that he is loved by his newfound family.

Apart from that, this is one series where the semi-open ending finale trope works.

I think the whole Ian-might-rat-us-out subplot could have played out better? Or maybe it could not have played out at all? Like, maybe instead of Abbot being at the rooftop, maybe it could have been Ian?

I actually wasn't sure about how we should feel about Ian. I mean, he didn't deserve Sarah, but...he's...not...a bad...person? I mean, a sketchy detective and a bad boyfriend, yes, but it didn't fully read out to me as "don't trust him" or "stay away from him."

Because when Sarah said in the second episode that her ex was a man who did bad things "until he couldn't," I heard that as he physically abused her. Like, that shit of a man.

But...I don't know. Maybe I missed out on something.

Plus, WHO DID PUT THE SNAKE IN SARAH'S LETTER BOX? Was that some kind of sicko prank?! Did one of her neighbors have it as a pet and it accidentally went to her letterbox???

If Ian was worked for the mafia, maybe that would have worked better? Like, switch Vickers, for Ian, maybe?

Gosh, Vickers, am I right? I mean, who would have thought Justin Long would be a part of this?

ROY was a surprise. Did not expect that twist in the finale. I feel bad for him though because he was really just a bloke caught up in a sticky situation. Like, he's not a bad guy, too. He's just in a bad situation.

Huh.

It's like what Kenzo said, huh? "We're not bad people. We're just doing bad things."

Kenzo and Sarah, right? I felt like it wasn't necessary for them to get romantic, but after Episode 3 with that silent exchange, I appreciate that they went that direction.

I also appreciate that Kenzo was fully aware that he is married and Sarah was fully aware of it too. She knew it was the worst way to let light in.

And I'm glad that there was a moment between Kenzo and Rei where they allowed themselves (or at least Rei allowed Kenzo) to go off their separate ways.

I love the detail that Rei was actually in contact with Yuto and Natsuko is an badass old woman who likes to live on the edge.

The way she said, "Then we will fight" when Eiko and Rei worried about the yakuzas. I mean!

Okay, okay. I'mma back up a bit, because the reason why I thought the whole Ian subplot didn't work was because it felt like the writers eventually didn't know what to do with Rodney?

Like, why bring this kind of pain to Rodney?!

But then, you know, thinking about it as I am writing this, we all know Rodney would be with Taki and it might be Rodney who gets in trouble with Jiro.

Ahh, Jiro. That...dangerous specimen.

Glad he didn't kill Toshio.

But still, my biggest concern for the ending of this series is that we leave Rodney at such a low place.

Like, I just need to know that he needs up okay and he reunites with Sarah and Taki and all live together in London now. And Rodney's restarting his life with a better direction in life, but of course struggles with relapse?

Okay, I am seeing now where the second series could have went on. The creator said it would have been a "Rodney-Taki centric" season.

Gosh, so maybe they would have changed genre?! Aaaahhhhh! but who knows? I mean, I imagine the yakuzas are still after the Mori brothers.

But then again, Fukuhara and Endo are dead sooo...

Giri/Haji, right?! It's... It's a great piece of media.

Anyway, if you wanna talk about Giri/Haji, please feel free to send me a message!

PLEASE! Haha. Take care, y'all

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 4

Will

Cult girl attends her grandmother's funeral and is approached with a highly unorthodox last will and testament.

@wisesandwichshark

Trigger warnings: emotional manipulation and abuse, verbal abuse, death, slight emetophobia, body-shaming, ED mention, pregnancy and family planning

There was no use recounting anything from the leading up to the funeral. You spent that first night wine-drunk, munching on foie gras, watching Arrested Development and diagnosing each character to the best of your psychological abilities. You remembered cry-laughing at the same jokes you had memorized, and reminiscing on all the insane shit your own personal Lucille Bluth pulled on you. That was the highlight of the week. It was all downhill from there. 

Firstly, you were sick. That Sunday, you wrote it off as a hangover. Then, the hangover returned with a vengeance, just to add salt to the already open wound of having to pretend to mourn your abusive grandmother. At least the physical pain would give your acting an air of sincerity, you thought. 

Hannibal dressed in a solid black tux: it was almost uncanny to see him outside of any of his normal checkered suits. You selected a plain black dress and a strand of pearls.

The funeral was to be held at the same country club Anna’s wedding was held. Your grandmother was like a pharaoh, insisting that the empire she built know that even in death, she reigned supreme. The country club was her pyramid. 

Anna asked if you wanted to say a few words. As much as you wanted to get up and tell all her country club friends about the time she reported you as an abducted child at age twenty-two when you refused to leave your boyfriend and move back in with her, you knew that it wasn’t in good taste. You racked your brain for any story that could be considered remotely funeral-appropriate, but none came to mind. 

You spent the entire funeral trying not to roll your eyes too obviously at the stories of abuse her country club friends somehow remembered fondly. Your soul just left your body throughout the entire process and you were unsure if it would ever return. 

All things considered, it could have gone much worse. Then, it did. 

The beginning of the end was when your grandmother’s estate lawyer pulled you and Anna aside to conduct the reading of the will. He showed you to a side room, then excused himself before closing the door behind him. 

“Hello, [F/N].” Liam greeted, trying to cut through the awkward silence that came with first seeing each other after four straight years. “I’m very sorry about your gran. She was a great woman.” 

You gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Thanks, Lee. I appreciate it.” 

“No she doesn’t.” Anna muttered. “And it’s Liam.” 

“I don’t mind ‘Lee’.” Liam contested. “My mum called me Lee. I actually quite like it.” 

Anna was in one of her ‘I’m so upset, please ask me why’ moods. She sat on one of the heavy armchairs with her legs crossed and eyes to the wall. You weren’t going to bite. 

Liam wasn’t so cautious. “Princess, what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” She pouted, not even dignifying her husband with a look. “I just think it’s interesting that I put the funeral together all by myself and someone couldn’t even be bothered to speak.” 

You shot Liam a look that said ‘way to go, jackass’. 

“Yeah,” You said, sitting down in an adjacent armchair. “That must suck.” 

Anna glared at you. “You really have nothing to say? Really?” 

You tensed up. “Let’s see, which charming anecdote would you have me tell? How about that time when she made you wear a fat suit for an hour after you complained about how the low-carb ice cream tasted like chemicals?” 

Liam looked in shock at his wife. “Did she really?” 

“Once.” Anna confessed, holding up one finger. 

You turned to Liam, as if you were sharing some hot gossip. “That was all it took to give her an eating disorder when she was thirteen.” 

Hannibal was just a fly on the wall. Anna noticed his lack of reaction. 

“And I bet Hannibal knows all about this, huh?” Anna said, throwing her hand in his direction. “Because he just needs to hear all of our private family business, right?” 

You stood up from your seat. “First of all, I take offense at the implication that my fiancée isn’t family.” 

An evil smile spread on Anna’s face. “But he wasn’t always your fiancé, was he, [F/N]?” 

“Holy shit, you cracked the code.” You said, flatly. “There was a point in time when Hannibal and I weren’t an item. Real shocker, that one.” 

“You know what I mean.” She sneered, then approached Hannibal. “Dr. Lecter, is it true that before you and [F/N] became romantically involved, you were her therapist?” 

Liam looked scandalized. Hannibal was just as put-together as always. 

“That is true.” He said, feeling no shame whatsoever. 

Anna turned back to you. “Now don’t you think that’s just a smidge unethical? For a therapist to date their much younger patient?” 

You narrowed your eyes. You carried yourself with the lightness of a woman who finally had the moral high ground. “So you want to talk about what’s ethical, huh? I suppose that means you’ve told Liam about pineapple.”

All the blood drained from her face. You crossed your arms and held your head up a little higher. 

“That’s what I thought.” You grinned. 

“Look, could we just pretend to be a normal, functioning family for ten minutes?” Anna pleaded, as if there were anyone other than herself to blame for provoking an argument.

“That’s on you two.” Liam, rightfully, pointed out. He gestured to himself and then to Hannibal. “Neither of us have said anything.” 

The estate lawyer must have gotten his juris doctorate alongside a master's in impeccable fucking timing, because that was when he decided to make his entrance.

"I'm sorry for the wait, everyone." He announced. "And I'm sorry for having to pull you aside in your hour of mourning. Usually the last will and testament is handled through email to the beneficiaries, but your grandmother was quite adamant it be approached this way."

"That definitely sounds like her." You said, exchanging glances with Hannibal. You'd talked about this for what felt like hours the week prior. She was going to pull some last-minute bullshit to humiliate you from beyond the grave. Give all the inheritance to Anna and leave a snide comment about you in a legal document. You knew it was coming. All you could hope was for it to be quick.

The lawyer pulled an envelope from his briefcase. "She specifically asked for her two living grandchildren and their significant others to be present."

"Did she say it like that?" Anna raised an eyebrow. "Or was it more like, 'Anna and her husband, and [F/N] and her therapist'?"

"Mrs. Young," Hannibal said, taking your hand. "Until you tell your husband about pineapple, you aren't allowed to judge us."

Anna glared at you. "What the hell? He knows, too?!"

"Yeah." You answered. "I tell him everything."

"Okay, who or what is pineapple?" Liam interjected. "And why do I get the feeling I'm the only one not in the know, here?"

"That's cause you are." You confirmed. "And you have your lovely wife to thank for that."

"Everyone!" The lawyer called out. Clearly, he'd seen his share of dysfunctional families. "Please, let me just read the will and you can continue arguing afterwards."

"Y'know what? Fair enough." You said, crossing your legs. "Let's rip off this band-aid, shall we?"

The lawyer opened the envelope and produced a single page. He cleared his throat.

"I, Beatrice [L/N], being of sound mind and body, do hereby bequeath all my worldly possessions-" He began reading the long first sentence. "Including but not limited to, a collective sum of $45 million, the family home and my shares of the country club, to the first of my granddaughters to give birth."

You expected nothing. You expected something. But you never could have expected this.

"Can you please read that last part again?" You asked, unsure if what you heard was the result of a stroke.

"The entire inheritance goes to the first one of you to have a baby." The lawyer clarified, trying to make it sound like a reasonable arrangement.

"That makes sense." Anna said, nodding.

You looked at her, dumbfounded. "How in the fuck on fire does that make sense to you?"

"Well, the money would be going to a good cause." She rationalized. "To raise the baby, right?"

You shook your head. "No, this is insane. Grandma has always had this weird obsession with bloodlines, and now she's trying to incentivize us to carry it out."

"What happens if neither of us can, y'know?" Anna asked.

The lawyer pushed his glasses up his nose. "If neither granddaughter is willing to produce a child, the entire inheritance will go to the Eagle Forum, so my ungrateful grandchildren can learn about family values."

"She hated the Eagle Forum!" Anna objected. "She wouldn't dare."

"She absolutely would." You pressed your fingers into your forehead. "That's upper-class white moderates for you. And she doesn't have to be around to see when they name a fucking wing after her."

"The Beatrice [L/N] center for denying women bodily autonomy." Hannibal said. "It's quite fitting."

"[F/N], we can't let that happen." Anna pleaded. "We can't let Eagle Forum get a penny of that money."

"Why the hell not?" You said. Though on principle, you agreed, you knew this was just another one of your grandmother's power grabs. At the end of the day, she chose to leave her money to the Eagle Forum. And it would be her name on that check, not yours.

"Oh my god, you actually hate babies more than you hate conservatives." Anna stood with her mouth agape.

"Don't put words in my mouth." You snapped. "I don't hate babies. I hate grandma for trying to threaten me into having one. I hate grandma for pinning us against each other and making sure it stays that way."

"What do you have against giving me a little niece or nephew, huh?" Anna folded her arms.

"I'm fucking done." You said, throwing up your hands. "This will be the last you ever see of me."

Of course, that's what you said the last time.

[wispforever]

if youre still doing the character thing, how about spirit or marie?

I sure am. How about Spirit And Marie? Both wonderful characters. I’ll do Marie first, then Spirit. Thanks for the excuse to infodump, really. You people are too kind.

Marie Mjolnir

My first impression of Marie was the same impression I get of most female characters in anime. It’s either “why do their clothes have to look like that” or “oh god here comes the obligatory sexist heteronormative romance”. For Marie, it was more of the second. They mention in the same episode she’s introduced that Stein is her “first love”, which told me that if she had a large place in the plot, her assigned male counterpart around which to orbit would be him. Though I’ve never read the Soul Eater manga, I believe they do end up getting together there (I could be wrong). Whatever the case, I was relieved that Marie’s and Stein’s relationship (though heavily implied to be romantic, at least on Marie’s side) was left open to interpretation in the anime. I’m just very sick of cool badass female characters like Marie being reduced to the man they pine after. So, I guess my first impression of Marie and my impression of her now are largely the same. While I appreciate the moments we get to see her strengths and ability to operate on her own, I do think that her character really suffers because of the whole sexist “oh gosh all I want is to find a husband and retire” “oh my I have to take care of Stein” like okay, I had enough at the cat girl smothering Soul with her humungo-tits. I had enough at sexualizing underage girls and women in general. I had enough at making sexual harassment a punchline. That being said, when we push all of the shitty writing to the side, I admire Marie for her strength and how she interacts with the children, Crona in particular. Which leads me to my favorite moment(s).

The relationship Crona and Marie have interests me the most, since I’m really drawn to the parallels between Marie and Medusa. As parental figures (and as characters), they’re about as different as you can get. As Crona’s mother, Medusa is obviously abusive. Along with being negligent, she abuses Crona mentally, emotionally, and physically. In general, Medusa is a person who doesn’t appear to value interpersonal relationships, putting it nicely. She instead is more focused on her own interests, often to the detriment of those around her. Crona is Medusa’s only immediate family (besides Arachne who she is estranged from), and so they suffer the most from her refusal to show even a shred of human decency or warmth. They suffer especially because they are her child, meaning they’re stuck with her essentially, and repetivie abuse between family members like a mother and child often becomes complex because of the necessity of having a parental figure in your life to support you as you grow up. Medusa teaches Crona that their boundaries don’t matter and that they are only good as long as they are useful and do as they’re told. This is what makes Marie’s influence on Crona so cool to watch. Marie is caring by nature, loving and nurturing by nature. Her very wavelegnth is healing. She is kind and does what’s right reflexively. Marie is the exact embodiment of what Crona always needed but what, even upon being rescued by the academy, still felt so foreign to them: unconditional love. Crona struggles to understand why the other kids helped them, why Maka felt the inclination to stop their battle and save Crona instead by trying to understand them, why the kids are still so kind to them even after everything. They do not understand that love is not a bargaining chip. It isn’t leverage in an argument. It’s not a tool for emotional manipulation. Love is caring for the people close to you, just because. Love for the sake of love. The other kids and teachers at the academy are the ones who are able to pull Crona out of all Medusa’s lies, and Marie is a Huge part of that. Even though I have greivances with this being the largest part of her character and what that implies for female characters in general, it doesn’t stop being so beautiful to me that she could help Crona heal in this way. Marie = best mom for the win

Most of the story ideas I have for Marie involve her relationship with Crona or Stein. Say, this covers my unpopular opinion too. I don’t like Stein and Marie as a couple, but I really enjoy writing them as friends, because even though I don’t really jive with them being together romantically, I think their dynamic is an interesting one to explore because they Are so different.

Getting into that a little bit more, I’d like to start by saying I don’t care if other people like Stein and Marie being a couple. That’s great doods, keep doing you. The fanart’s adorable, the meta’s fantastic. Whoever you are, SteinMarie shippers, ffs keep kicking ASS. This is just my preference and opinion. Zero shade in this house. That said, because of my frustrations about Marie’s character I discussed in the first paragraph, I don’t like the idea of her and Stein being together romantically. It’s really a classic sexist trope: the troubled man and his sweet nurse. I’m also just fed up in general with the hetero-nonsense, so there. However, they are both wonderful characters that I enjoy very much seperately. Also, I think it’s worth mentioning that I’ve only seen the anime, so I can’t speak for the manga as far as their relationship or Marie’s character in general.

Oh shit I accidentally already talked about this one lmao [see the second paragraph]

One headcanon I like to think about when I’m writing Marie is that she likes women (in addition to men or not) and she struggles with comphet. Just something interesting I like to think about. It’s really fun for me to take characters who have been written as pining or had 10 million failed relationships and be like “say what if they can’t find a husband cuz really what they really need is a wife”. I’ll talk about that more with Spirit inevitably.

Spirit Albarn

My first impression of Spirit, obviously him being a cheater, really came with a lot of distaste. I come from a family that was torn apart by infidelity, among other things, so it really rubs me the wrong way. However, his saving grace for me was that he genuinely loves his daughter. It appears that, whether it’s played for laughs or not, he just can’t find fulfillment in his romantic relationships. The reason is left up to the veiwers. Spirit, ultimately, is not just a shitty person, which is how most cheaters are protrayed in media. “Well, they cheated because they don’t care if they hurt people”, “they cheated because they are shit and that’s it”. That’s a fine explanation if you plan to do nothing with whatever character you’re describing, but Spirit is relatively recurring and is shown to be neither mean-spirited or emotionally unintelligent. It bothers me that his cheating and routine sexist behaviour isn’t taken seriously enough to be a subject that Soul Eater tackles and deals with. But that’s fine. I’ll just do it myself. At any rate, I still feel that same way about Spirit’s character, but I find it intriguing that he seems to genuinely want to become a better father and is actually a pretty good dad when it comes to his interactions with Maka. If Soul Eater had been brave enough to develop him more, maybe delve into the reasoning behind his impulsive romantic affairs, I think Spirit as a character could have been done more justice. It seems to me that he could be suffering from some of that wonderful compulsory heterosexuality that I mentioned before, then becoming confused when the woman he claims to love leaves him feeling empty. Rattling my gay little cage

When I think of my favorite moments with Spirit, I think of his moments with Maka, but I’m gonna hold off on that until I get to favorite relationship(s). In reference to what I talked about in the first paragraph, one moment I find really interesting when I’m thinking about my interpretation of Spirit’s character is the scene where he and Maka are on the roof talking. Maka asks Spirit why he cheated on her mother if he did, in fact, love her. He doesn’t appear to know the answer, and he doesn’t really understand how to effectively communicate that, though he was shitty husband, what he really wants now is to try and be a better dad. We hear his inner monologue, and he says something like “I love you [Maka] and your mama. That’s the truth. That’s the truth. That’s the truth.” Every time he says “its the truth” it sounds more like he’s forcing it. This is actually something that is SO strange to me. Even if I didn’t project a queer narrative on to the characters I love, I would look at this and be like “huh that is a Weird thing to say in that specific way”. Why does he say it like that? Why does he have to say it more than once? He’s only talking to HIMSELF. It isn’t like he’s trying to convince Maka. Why does he have to convince himself?? Could it possibly be because he’s reached a conclusion about his romantic/sexual orientation that he’s been trying to swallow his Entire Life??? makes ya wonder, doesn’t it, queers?

Just like I said when I talked about Stein, most of the stories I have in mind with Spirit center around that sweet gayness. But also, I like to think of ways Spirit could come to terms with his sexuality, how it might have affected him when he was young, his relationship with all these women, with his wife. I love to think about him being a dad at 18 and trying his best, but how much responsibility that must have been. Lots of great ideas when it comes to Spirit.

Um? unpopular opinion would be all the standard like I said with Stein lmao. “Oh no!” scream the heteros, “that they/them on tumblr is making Soul Eater queer we canst not allow that in our church!!!111!” But besides that, maybe even the fact that I think he’s redeemable?? Idk most everyone I’ve met thinks Spirit is funny at least and just calls him a dumbass and a slut (affectionate). Doesn’t mean anybody thinks cheating on your wife 56 times is okay so. I like this fandom, it’s chill here. My favorite is when I see my art tagged like “aw the stupid man and his crazy bf” like YOU ARE RIGHT

My favorite relationship when it comes to Spirit (besides Stein cuz if I start talking about them again I’ll never finish this ask) is the one he has with Maka. If you can call it a relationship lol. I guess I just find Spirit’s approach to Maka as a parent really refreshing. Not that the parents in other shows don’t love their kids or whatever, it’s just that the loving parent always seems to be paired with some other trope that makes their character hard to approach. especially in anime. Like the perfect mother who dies in the first episode, and we spend the rest of the show mourning her. Or the father whose love is somehow everlasting even though he’s never home. It’s really the fact that Spirit is even THERE that I love. He knows what Maka is up to. He talks about her. He’s invested in her life, and he loves her. All he wants is to spend time with her, and though he’s sad when she turns him down, he doesn’t push her. god dammit I just like a dad who actually loves his kids without all the usual strings attached like. oh my kids are a huge pain in my ass, but I love them in spite of it. oh i’m a man so can’t relate to my children in a meaningful way but i try. Get the fuck outta here with that shit. I want all the dads to get so happy when their daughters wanna hang with them that they throw up like Spirit. Give me the guy who loves his daughter so naturally, whose daughter is such a huge part of his life, that it doesn’t even occur to him stop trying even if she literally wants to murder him. That’s Spirit. jfc

To end with a cute little headcanon, I really love to think that when Spirit gets older and starts losing the color in his hair, instead of getting white or grey, his hair turns a pale pink color cuz he’s such an aggressive redhead. Wouldn’t that just be adorable? late 30′s, early 40′s, Spirit starts getting little pink streaks in his hair and then bam. Little pink old man Spirit XD

There ya have it. Thanks for the ask, and feel free to send more.

[levis-hazelnut]

Summary: when you and your best friend, Hanji, were younger, you had made up stories about your dream guys - what they would look like and how you would meet. What happens when the one you had made up appears to be real?

Warning(s): mentions of abuse (if you squint). Please do tell me if there are anymore.

Taglist: closed

Status: completed!

part 1 > part 2

series masterlist

(a/n: i love mikasa, she’s a queen. But I’m sorry because she’s gonna be a bitch in this lol)

"(Y/N)! (Y/N)! (Y/N)! (Y/N)!!!!!!!!" Before that call, I was peacefully eating lunch with my friends and didn't wish for any interruptions from my crazy, loud best friend. I was just sitting there with some of my calm friends that I was in the mood for; quietly speaking about life, no stress, no laughter, no loud talking - just nice conversation. Other times (most of the time), however, I would be in the mood for my best friend, wanting laughter, craziness and loud talking. But this wasn't one of those times... So why the hell was she here sprinting and screeching for me? "(Y/N)!!!!!!!" "For fuck's sake," I murmured. "What do you want, Hanji?" I asked when she pushed off Connie, who was sitting opposite me, and sat in his place. She leaned forward and caught her breath as her gaze was not at me, but behind me. Before I could turn around, she grabbed my head and forced me to face her which made me frown. "What the hell is going on?" "Okay, so... Remember about five years ago when we would talk about our dream guy and meeting them later in life. And remember when we said that you would find your dream guy in university..."

"Hanji--" "Don't talk. Let me finish the story of the past." *FLASHBACK* With the sun beaming down on me and Hanji as we ate our lunch together on the grass, we stupidly and crazily told each other about our dream husbands. The appearance of my dream guy was based on a character from a show I watched. And because we were still young, horny and stupid, we let our imagination create stories of how we would meet our dream guy. Let's forget about Hanji's and skip to mine... So, Hanji had thought of it with that extraordinary brain of hers. She said that, "We would be having lunch with our new friends, and maybe some of our school ones like Connie, Eren, Sasha, Jean and Armin. Anyway, you would be talking to someone as I sit next to you, quietly eating--" "Hanji, that's already not going to be true. How are you going to be quiet?" "Hush, let me carry on. So, I'll be eating, maybe not quietly, and then I look around the canteen and see him... walking with his lunch in his hand. Standing there in his handsomeness, with black hair, grey eyes, a light complexion, emotionless expression. I don't know what his personality is when he's there, but his appearance is pretty similar to how we imagine him to be. I gasp and smack your shoulder many times to get your attention which you click your tongue at. I point towards him and you look where I'm staring, which is when you gasp as well, trying to find the words but I already know what you're going to say. And we get up and stalk him. As we do that, I spot his keys in his bag and cleverly take them, passing them to you. When he sits down, I tell you to give it to him but you're too shy so I push you forward until you're in his sight. He looks at you and you shyly hold them out to him, saying: 'I think these are yours. You dropped them'. And then he thanks you and you live happily ever after." "... That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. But, if that does happen, then I love you and your brain." And since that day, she kept on adding to the story which made me excited to meet my future husband. Of course, however, I knew this story of hers wasn't going to come true, no matter how young, horny and stupid I was. *END OF FLASHBACK* "Yes, Hanji, I remember that. But why are you telling me this?" "You idiotic fool! He's right there behind you!" "I swear, if you're lying--" "I'm not, I'm not!! Just look!" I slowly twisted my head to see the man I've wanted to marry for many years. Was he really there? Is Hanji just playing a prank on me? I took a deep breath and looked to see who she was talking about... And there he was, exactly how I had imagined. Well, maybe not exactly, but extremely similar. "Hanji, you already know what we're doing?" She vigorously nodded as both of us got up and raced towards him, and then slowed down when we got closer so we don't look like weirdos or creeps (which we technically were). He was holding no bag, but luckily, Hanji saw his credit card in his back pocket and somehow got it without him realising.

I never knew how much I loved her until this moment. This mysterious, kind of magical man sat down on a table with two of his other friends. But I could care less about them. Taking a deep breath, I tapped his shoulder and he looked up at me with the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. They may have had no shimmer or emotion in them, but they still entranced me. I didn't realise I was staring for too long until he spoke, "Are you just going to stand there and look at me, or actually say something, brat?" Maybe those weren't the first words I expected to hear, but at least it was something. His voice was deep and velvety and void of any emotion and I wanted to hear him speak more. It probably wasn't even that attractive to other people, but this was someone I had made up in my mind and he's right here in front of me, so I'm going to fall in love with every aspect with him. "Oh, sorry... Um, you dropped this," I said quietly and held out his card to him. He lifted an eyebrow at first before taking it from me, his fingers skimming my skin as he did that. "Hey, are you okay? Why do you keep staring into space like that?" "Uh, yeah, I-I'm fine. Just a little tired. Anyway, um... I'm going to go... eat my lunch. Bye." "Thank you, by the way, random person." I laughed lightly. "(Y/N)." "Thank you, (Y/N)." "So--" "Hey, (Y/N)!!" I mentally rolled my eyes when my name was called and my best friend appeared beside me, throwing an arm onto my shoulders. "What do you need, Hanji?" I murmured. "I just wanted to know who your new, little friend is. Looks like you were having fun." "Um, no. I just gave him his card since he dropped it." "Oh, so you're best friends now! Why don't you sit right next to him and have lunch together?" "Hanji," I said in a tone for her to back off. But she carried on anyway, pushing me onto the seat next to the man. "I'm so sorry about her. She's... insane." "I can tell," he said, eyeing both of us up and down. We were both definitely going to be the weirdos he should stay away from. "Well, you can go--" "(Y/N), I think you should stay! You seem like a delightful person!" the girl with pigtails opposite me squealed and I smiled at her. "It's nice to make new friends," a blonde male next to her stated with a polite smile. "Let her stay, Levi." "Oh, it's fine. My friends are probably wondering where I am," I stated, turning to find Hanji, but she wasn't there. "Shit," I mumbled. "What's wrong?" "Oh, nothing. I mean, I literally just came to give him his card and now I'm having lunch with you three. It's kind of weird." "'Him' has a name," he muttered bitterly. "It's Levi." "Sorry, Levi." I want to marry you, Levi. "You can leave now if you want." "Uh, yeah, I should probably go," I said and started to get up. "No, stay! Levi, you can't just push someone away!" the female with green eyes scolded him. "We barely even know her." "So? It's good to meet nice people and become friends." "Tch. You two can do whatever you want, then." "Maybe I can join you guys for lunch another time. Looks like Mr Moody doesn't want company." "Mr Moody?" he repeated and lifted an eyebrow at me. "You just met me and you're giving me that nickname?" "Uhh... I'm going to go now." "Bye, (Y/N)! I'm Isabel, by the way, and this is Farlan." "Bye, Isabel, Farlan. It was nice talking to you." I got up without addressing the raven-haired male and made my way back to my table, huffing as soon as I sat down. "I messed up bad," I complained to myself, causing the bald male beside me to inquire what happened. "It's nothing. Just me being stupid and childish to think that I'll magically be able to become some gloomy guy's girlfriend." "Who is this 'gloomy guy'?" "It's (Y/N)'s crush who's sitting right over there with that grinning girl and some other guy!" "Hanji, just forget about it. He hates me." "I've never seen him before," Connie stated, taking a secret glance at him. "We just saw him today as well." "And he's already your crush?" "Basically--" "Hanji, we promised that we won't tell anyone," I snapped. "It's stupid and I never want to talk about it again." "I mean, it's not really stupid if he's real. It could just be your fault because you were nervous and acted awkward around him. But then again, it could be my fault because I kind of forced you to sit next to him. Maybe I should let you do it your own way. So, for once, (Y/N), I won't get involved. I don't want this chance to go." "I doubt you'll be able to keep that promise." "I will! I don't want you to be annoyed and depressed forever. So you do whatever you want. And you can slap me if I get involved in the tiniest way." "Okay. Thank you, Hanji." "I'm still so confused," the baldie said. "Maybe I'll tell you one day, Connie. Maybe when I make progress." "Okay--" "Oh my god!! I just realised - he's actually real and right there!" I suddenly yelled, causing the canteen to quieten as students looked at me with confusion. "Ugh, I'm such an idiot. I need to stop making a fool out of myself. Did Levi look at me, Hanji?" "No. But he obviously still heard you." "God, I just want to die..." ~/~ Thanks to my roommate, I had to rush my morning routine and miss breakfast since I had to run to the university, which was about a five-minute walk away. Since I was running, however, it took me three minutes. I was definitely going to give Hanji what she deserves for not waking me up. I stumbled into the lecture hall to find that they had already started. I quickly apologised for being late and found a random spot to settle down and catch my breath. I took my laptop out of my bag and gulped on some water as I waited for it to load. And I soon got to work, focusing on the lecture and not taking notice of the people around me. As I was listening to my professor, someone beside me whispered my name and so I rotated my head to look at them. Act cool. Be calm, (Y/N). Just because you're taking the same course and you're going to see him more than you thought, doesn't mean you can freak out. "Do you have a pen I could borrow?" Levi asked in a hushed tone and I sifted through my clothes and bag to find a pen that he can use. After about a minute of looking, I found one at the bottom of my bag and passed it to him with a smile. He thanked me before both of us got on with our work. I could barely concentrate now that I knew who I was sitting next to, but I still tried my best. Towards the end of the lecture, which seemed like hours, my stomach rumbled and I froze and internally cringed. Why did that have to happen? Well, I didn't have breakfast so I guess it's understandable, but still. Shortly, I was able to leave, so everyone filed out and I packed my things away, slinging my bag over my shoulder as I made my way out. As I was leaving the hall, a familiar, husky voice called for me and I stopped. "You know, for someone that doesn't like people, you sure like saying people's names," I joked. "I was just going to give you your pen back and ask if you wanted to grab something to eat since it sounds and looks like you haven't had breakfast." "Shit, was my stomach that loud?" "I couldn't hear Professor Erwin," he said with no amusement, but something told me that he was just joking with me. I playfully rolled my eyes and let a small laugh escape my mouth before taking the pen from his hand and walking out with him following after me. "Hey, so yesterday, I was kind of in a bad mood which is why I acted like that. Though, I am usually cold and unfriendly and--" "What are you trying to say?" "Let's start over. Isabel and Farlan made me feel guilty, so let's get you some breakfast and know each other some more. All I know is that you and your glasses friend are weirdos." "Well, thank you very much for saying that, Mr Moody. We are weirdos, and we're proud." "Hey, Levi!" "Hey, (Y/N)!!" There were two different voices and two different names being called at the same time, yet they were coming from the same direction. Two sighs sounded when I saw Hanji and Levi saw Isabel. "What did I miss? Why are you two walking together?" Isabel asked. "We're going to get some breakfast. Since you, Hanji, never woke me up," I replied, arching an eyebrow and folding my arms over my chest. "I didn't know when your first lecture was, and I thought you would've put an alarm. How late were you?" "You weren't that late, you know. We started about a minute before you came." "So, I look like a mess and didn't make coffee for no damn reason? Ugh, I'm so glad I have no more lectures today." "Well, I need to head to my next lecture, so I guess I'll see you at home," Hanji smiled before fast-walking. "Me, too. Bye!" "Let's go?" I suggested and he nodded in response. Some words were spoken as we took our time in getting to a cafe that was a two-minute walk away. I told him a bit about myself, but he had very little to say as if he was hiding a shady past or something like that. Nevertheless, I didn't pry. "So you're not only a weirdo, but a perv as well?" "Hey! I'm not a pervert," I pouted, trying to fight back a smile. "It was a dare from Hanji... Though, I don't regret doing it," I muttered. "Perv." "Hush. Eren's ass is perfect to squeeze." "I don't want to know that," Levi said with a hint of disgust as he opened the door to the cafe, letting me go in first. We walked towards the queue and continued our conversation. "Well, if you want to start over and get to know me, then you have to know that I'm a weirdo, maybe a perv, and let's just say that you don't want to make me angry." "So you are a perv?" "Okay, fine. Yes, I am a perv," I announced. "And just like how I'm proud of being weird, I'm also proud of being a pervert." "Are you proud of letting your stomach rumble as well?" "Shut it, Ackerman." "Oh, hey, (Y/N)," the male at the register smiled. "Hi, Eren." I grinned back at him, seeing his gaze on the raven beside me. "This is Levi. I guess you could say we're acquaintances." "This is Eren?" Levi inquired and I saw a certain glint in his eyes. That is when I realised that I had told him I squeezed Eren's butt after getting a dare. Oh, why did I have a feeling that he was going to embarrass me? "Yeah. Nice to meet you, Levi. What do you guys want?" "You go first," I told the male and he nodded. "An Earl Grey, please." "Okay. And you, princess?" "Well, loverboy, could I get a coffee and pain au chocolat?" "Of course. Anything else?" "No, thanks," I replied, searching my pockets for my purse. Then my bag, but I couldn't find it. I bit the inside of my lip and turned to Levi. "I don't have my purse on me. Sorry. I'll pay you back." "You're too broke to do that, princess," he murmured and paid for our food. "Shut up. Thank you, Eren. Thank you, Levi." "No problem. I'll bring your drinks and food in a bit." I shot him another smile before strolling to a table with two seats facing each other. I took a seat, hanging my coat on the chair and dropped my bag to the ground, under my feet. "You and that kid in a relationship or something?" he randomly questioned after there was a moment of silence. "Me and Eren? No, no. We just have that kind of friendship where we act like a couple and call each other names. We don't actually like each other or anything. And he has a girlfriend, well, sort of." "What do you mean 'sort of'?" "It's not a stable relationship. There have been a few problems, and I've tried to tell Eren to just forget about her but he can't. I just want him to be happy with someone that truly cares for him and doesn't cause him any distress. He's come to me so many times just to cry over her." "What's her name?" "Mikasa." "What about Mikasa?" Eren spoke with a slight frown, placing down our things in front of us. "Oh, I was just talking about how she has the same surname as Levi and was wondering if he knew her." "Okay. Well, here's your coffee, tea and pain au chocolat. If there's anything else you need, just tell me." "Thank you." "... You're a good liar." "I'll take that as a compliment. Also, I'm surprised you haven't taken the chance to embarrass me yet." "Embarrass you? Why would I ever do that?" he remarked sarcastically, but obviously my dense ass couldn't sense that. "Because you know which boy's butt I squeezed, and you could expose me for being a pervert. Though, he already knows that I am. Everyone I know knows what kind of person I am." "A weirdo and a pervert," he stated after taking a sip of his tea. "I wonder what other traits you have." I snorted. "Are you sure you want to know?" He gave me a small glance, perfectly arching his brow. I felt as if I've known this person for longer than two days. Probably because me and Hanji have spoken about him for many years now. But, even then, I feel like we have a certain bond. And no, I'm not just saying that because he's the love of my life; I truly think we can create a strong friendship... and then, maybe something a little more. Even though he's a made-up person that became true, I sometimes forget who I'm talking to and just internally scream when I realise. But, seriously, how did this happen? I don't think I'll ever be able to believe that he became true (and maybe one day, I won't believe that I'm marrying him hehe). "Oi, you're spacing out again. Is that a habit of yours or are you just always tired? Or do you have someone on your mind?" "There's no one on my mind, I'm just always tired. Boys can piss off and leave me alone... apart from you, Levi. I love you-- Uhh, I mean, obviously I don't love you. We literally just met, I don't love you. It's just, uh, it's fun to hang out with you. You aren't like others... Ugh, I'm an idiot." I facepalmed the table and refused to look back at the male in front of me. "You aren't an idiot, you're a weirdo. Don't forget that. Anyway, I think we should head out because you look like you're going into a meltdown or something." "Sure. I'm just going to quickly finish my coffee." I gulped down the last few sips and left the mug on the table, thanking Levi for paying. He only nodded as I waved at Eren, who stopped us from leaving. "Could you wait like two minutes? My shift's over and I just want to relax at yours." "Yeah, sure. Levi, you can go if you want. I feel like I'm just dragging you around." "I'm the one that brought you here. I don't care about waiting for a brat." "Brat? He's the same age as us." "Yeah, I know. I just call people that, don't get offended, darlin'." "Darling? What's with these nicknames you're so generously handing out?" "Says that one that called me 'Mr Moody' in the first ten minutes we spoke." "Hey, you said yourself that you were in a bad mood." "Thanks for waiting. Should we go?" the teal-eyed boy beamed and I nodded, hooking my arm with his as he stuffed his hands into his pocket before all three of us left the cosy cafe. "So, where did Levi magically come from?" "He joined my uni yesterday, but we got off on the wrong foot and decided to start over. And since we're both doing biochemistry, he saw my miserable entrance, looking like a mess. And, my stupid belly chose to rumble so Levi kindly offered to get me breakfast. Now, we're just getting to know each other." "She's a pervert," Levi curtly said. "Yeah, that basically sums her up. Along with her being weird, tired, broke and an awesome friend." "You're lucky you added that last one before my fist was in your face." "Oh, she's also an adorable threatener. But, do not get on her bad side because she will be a monster towards you." "Yeah, Levi knows most of this already." "And I already regret talking to you," he teased. "Shut up, Ackerman." "Anyway, I'm going this way," Levi announced, pointing to the left as we were about to turn right. "We don't have any lectures tomorrow, so maybe I'll see you on Wednesday?" "Yeah. Bye, Levi." "See you later, darlin'. By the way, Eren, (Y/N) likes your ass." "Jerk," I muttered before looking at Eren, who just grinned at me. "And that's why you're a pervert." Both of us started to walk again but since I was holding onto him, I came to halt when he stopped in his tracks, pulling me to the side. "Tell me: why are you so comfortable around someone you just met?" "I'm not that comfortable. And you know I'm always friendly to new people." "Yeah, but not like this. What's the deal with you and him.?" "Nothing, Eren. Stop worrying. I'll tell you what this is all about one day." "... Fine. But, I have a bad feeling about him." "Levi? Why? He's perfect. I mean, I don't know that, but his friends seem to be really nice. And you can't get friends like that unless you're nice, too." "If you trust him, I'm going to have to trust you to not get into any trouble." "Yes, yes. Now, stop worrying." Eren rested an arm around my shoulders as we carried on going towards mine and Hanji's apartment. We walked there in silence, but my keys broke that serenity when they jingled against the door as I unlocked it and opened it, allowing Eren to walk in. We both took off our shoes as I locked the door behind us. Eren plopped down onto the sofa as I went to the bathroom to see my reflection. God, I looked like something out of a horror movie. How did people stand to look at me, or even talk to me? But I was home now, so I didn't bother fixing my appearance as I went to the living room and dropped onto the comfortable furniture next to Eren. "I would ask you if you want a drink, but we went past that stage of formality ages ago. Help yourself to whatever." "Thanks, but I just want to rest." "What's up? I know there's something you need to tell me," I said, ruffling his brunette hair like he was a little kid. "... I barely got any sleep last night. I was meant to go on a date with Mikasa yesterday after my evening shift. I reserved a table at some restaurant that has great reviews. So, after my shift, I dressed all nice and left to go to the restaurant. I took the bus and it took me half an hour to get there. She then called me as I walking up to the restaurant, saying she can't make it because she's sick. Obviously, being my stupid self, I just said okay and said that we can postpone our date. However, I was starving so I wasn't going to put that reservation to waste. When I got there and told them about the booked table under my name, they told me there were already some people that took the table, telling them that their name was Eren. I was so confused and looked over at a table, where I saw Mikasa and that jerk: Reiner." "And then you stormed off, went home and cried?" I asked, saying it like it was something ordinary. "... Yes..." "What's this, like the fifth time you've seen her with a different boy? I swear, it's not the same boy every time as well. I still don't get why you don't just break up with her. She doesn't deserve you, she doesn't make you happy, which is what you deserve. I say you break up with her sometime this week." "(Y/N), that's too soon." "I don't care. She's causing you into depression, and I don't like seeing you like this. I haven't seen you be happy once after you got into this relationship. And I don’t want to hear any excuses. You know that you aren't happy with her, so I don't get why you don't break up with her. Is she threatening you or something?" "..." "... Eren?" Shit. Eren, you better say something before that silence gives me the wrong idea. That bitch better not be hurting or threatening you, I thought, biting my lip as I waited for him to speak. "Eren, please say--" Once again, I pulled him into an embrace when he requested it and he quietly sobbed, nestling his face into the crook of my neck. This time, I truly felt sorry for him because he wasn't crying over another wrecked date, or another man he caught Mikasa with; it was something I've never heard about. I still haven't, but his silence implied it. I didn't want to say anything as I got lost in my thoughts. What kinds of things has this girl done to Eren - one of my closest friends? As I was in the middle of pondering, a phone's ringtone sounded in the room. It was Eren's and I didn't know if I should pick it up or not. When I saw the name of the caller, my bitchy side took over and I grabbed his phone which was on the coffee table in front of the sofa. I answered it with a sweet 'hello', waiting for a reply as I continued to hug Eren with one arm. He soon lifted off of me and tried wiping away the tears as he looked at me with an expression that destroyed my heart. "Who are you?" "It's (Y/N). You probably can't recognise my voice since I haven't seen you in so long," I said with fake politeness. "Oh, (Y/N)... Where's Eren, by the way?" "He's in the bathroom. I can take a message if you'd like." "No, it's fine. Just tell him to call me when he's free." "Yeah, like I'd do that, whore." "Excuse me? What did you just call me?" "(Y/N), what the hell are you doing?" Eren whispered angrily so I retracted the phone from my ear and covered the speakers. "Teaching her a lesson. How's she going to threaten you, cheat on you, reject every date, and still have the balls to call you? She's stupid to think that I'm going to let that slide. I don't like her, and neither do you, so I'm going to invite her here and you can talk to her." "(Y/N), please don't do this. I know you're doing this for me, but I don't know, I just can't break up with her. Even after everything she's done." "Eren, this is for your own good. You're always depressed and tired because of her. You need to let go and be free. This isn't how you're meant to be enjoying life." "... Fine. Bring that bitch over here." I smirked. "Good." I brought the phone back to my ear. "Sorry about that--" "What are you going on about? Why did you just call me a wh0re?" "If you want to know, come to my apartment. You know where I live. You can see your precious boyfriend as well." "I will. Because no one talks to me like that." She cut the phone and I passed Eren's phone to him. I got up and gave him some tissue to wipe his face that had some snot and tears. "Hey, I'm kind of nervous." "That's normal. Anyone would be nervous if they were about to break up with someone. Though, I feel bad. Did I just force this onto you?" "It's fine. I'm glad I'm finally getting it over with." "Also, was she threatening you?" "Yes..." "I would say you should've told me, but that was obviously something you couldn't say since she would do something. Damn, she's some messed up girl. Sorry. But I just had to say that." "No, I understand. I don't even know what I saw in her in the first place." "Don't beat yourself up about it. Everyone makes mistakes and you're going to learn from this for your next girlfriend. First of all, if she cancels a lot of your dates, break up with her. Second, if she cheats on you once, break up with her. And third, if she barely talks to you, or tries to avoid you, break up with her." "Okay. Thank you, (Y/N). I'd literally run back to her every time if you weren't here." "No worries, love. Just helping you with your problems." "Well, let me help you with yours, baby girl. What's on your mind? You've been acting a little distracted." "Mm... I guess I'm thinking about Levi..." "What's so special about him?" "... All right, I'm going to tell you this. But don't tell Levi, or anyone, because it's a stupid thing me and Hanji made up." "What happened to trusting me all the time? You always told me everything." "Yeah, but since you got with Mikasa, you've been a little occupied. Don't worry, though, you're still my second best friend," I grinned at the statement I had said years ago when I was around ten years old. I then changed the subject and told Eren about what me and Hanji created in our young, horny and stupid minds. "Wow... That's actually crazy. You guys never thought he was going to be real, but damn... Still, I don't think you should trust him too much. To be honest, that guy's suspicious, even supernatural if he was just someone made up." "That's what I was thinking. But, half the time I forget that he was someone I dreamt about. I feel like I've bonded with him before and we're just catching up with each other's lives." "I understand. But, unless he proves to be completely normal, don't get too attached to him." "Okay. And, it's been about twenty minutes since Mikasa hung up. I think she's going to be here soon. Do you know what you're going to say?" "Kind of. I've been thinking of a breakup scenario for a while, but I was never able to make it happen." "Hey, me and Hanji made up a guy and he happened. I think you can make this breakup happen; I believe in you." "Thank you so much, (Y/N). You honestly don't know how grateful I am for you." "Whenever you need me, I'll be here." I heard the buzzer echo through my apartment, meaning someone was asking for an entrance. I shot a glance at Eren before getting up and walking towards my front door, answering the phone and speaking a confident 'hello'. "It's Mikasa." "Oh, it's you," I spat with disgust. I pressed the button for the main door so she could come in and waited a couple of seconds before opening my front door. She barged past me, and I muttered: 'Never met someone so rude'. My bitchy side was locking in again and I locked the door before following her into the living room. Eren was now standing up, appearing as bold and someone who was ready to break up with Mikasa. "Eren, why did she call me a 'whore'?" "Well, is she wrong?" he pointed out.