#maybe that’s the office au au

[morsmortish]

share the bartybella office au thoughts to your legion of devoted fans 🙏

oh the bartybella office au thoughts run DEEP. it feels like everytime i think of them my brain drifts over to picturing barty, dressed in an unironed white shirt and rumpled navy suit trousers, draped over the side of bella’s cubicle, trying to be Smooth And Suave until she almost successfully manages to staple his fingers together and sends him toppling to the floor in a panicked escape, whilst she laughs in her typical maniacal way. the first post about this au is here, but it’s taken much more shape since then.

i’m thinking about them at an office christmas party…bella is in a black (VERY LOW CUT!!!) evening dress with a slit all the way up her leg and pointy heels and diamond earrings and thick eyeliner and she just looks so fucking great. and then there’s barty. who rocks up in his battered old toyota forty minutes late in a pair of ripped jeans that are more hole than fabric and a tattered old heavy metal band shirt that has a stain from 2016 on it. bella takes one look at him as he stands awkwardly in the doorway, all gangly limbs, and marches over, dragging him by the ear to the bathroom where she proceeds to yell at him for his lack of formal attire and Repeatedly Maims Him with the plastic cutlery she had just moments ago been using to eat the trifle brought by molly weasley. he’s trying to shield his face from her lethal use of the spoon, but he’s also grinning and continuously making remarks that are fully intended to Rile Her Up because this sick twisted weirdo of a man is somehow enjoying himself FAR too much. (bella is also having a blast and she hates it because how has this sleazeball of a human being barely out of his teenage years managed to become one of the best parts of her job????)

i know i said in my last post that nothing would ever actually happen between them, but barty fucking junior is a stubborn little shit and if he wants to seduce his hot much older supervisor? he will seduce his hot much older supervisor, and nothing i say will be able to stop him. barty has his nepotism-hire internship for a year and even his most valiant attempts (terrible pick up lines and making his teams profile picture an ab pic) aren’t be enough for bella to stoop that low, but after? when they meet again, somewhere, somehow? you can bet she is finally caving into her desire to be worshipped by him. and then there’s something addictive about the way he makes her feel like the most important person in the world, the way she knows he is at her beck and call, the way she finally gets to experience what power feels like. and she can’t give him up after that, even if there was any world in which he would let her go.

[fuumiku]

It was Maid Day today yesterday a week ago so I got struck by inspiration to draw the worsties, and it ran away from me into a whole AU where they’re coworkers at a maid cafe. She’s a med student & this is just a part time job, and this is his depression job while he gets his life back together. He needs something he can be workaholic about to forget what it’s like having a personal life and personal issues. He’s actually the accountant, but the new hire janitor (Izutsumi) doesn’t show up for half her shifts and is a sloppy worker, so he gets the extra work of doing her job on top of his because he’s undervalued and overworked. Of course, janitors also have an uniform to keep the aesthetic cohesion as they go about cleaning the place, of course.

Senshi’s the part time cook you only see slivers off, he’s kind and warm when you do see him and have a chat but most shifts he’s in and out the kitchen without a trace. Laios and Falin are regulars because Falin and Marcille are besties & in the same med school, Laios accompanies Falin as she visits her friend at work and gets hooked on the food. Chilchuck has to remind Marcille to work instead of chatting with Falin for an hour, and next thing he knows she’s distracting him from work too. That’s it that’s the AU. Inspired by this idol AU fanart a bit <3

This was not meant to be birthday gift but well…… Happy bday Chil!!!

Read from left to right

[yuwuta]

gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story

REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you 

but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact. 

he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared. 

he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date 

[eikichi-supremacy]

If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)

[ohnoitsz1m]

Uhh post canon Barney

Man who has not had a break since the rescas and refuses to start now. Alyx and Gordon are hiding his gear as we speak while Kleiner distracts him.

I was sposed to do Alyx too but I blinked and it was 3 am so. Next time

Oh also I forgot to make a note but he does carry a sidearm

[massivementalitynut]

My Broadway Comm of Nanami Kento from @iwanttobeaseme

[ghostly-omens]

oh i was right that's fun. eye dude really did get shipped the quesadilla island residents to look after and instead of doing his job and giving them a perfect island experience he went rogue and started the hell-games and the federation has no idea lmao. the federation thinks its a third party interfering but so far it seems all signs point to it being egg island's equivalent of cucurucho becoming the joker

[izuke-the-zombie]

Just some Fem ShadowPeach AU ideas 🍑🥭

I was in the mood for some fun FemMacaque and FemWukong ideas. I don't have any Aus of them, not my best idea but I thought it was kind of funny.

Here's a little info about it in case anyone was interested

Macaque works for a company it's an office job, just sitting and doing work all day filing papers and answering calls. typical office job stuff.

She was working here way before she met MK. MK's never been to her actual home, the dojo was just the place she works out and trained at so she didn't have to go to an actual gym.

Mac rents a one-bedroom apartment on the very top of a building somewhere, it's cheap cuz it's smaller than other rooms in the building, but she found a closed-off apartment room right next to her built-in kitchen pantry by accident, so she has two apartments to herself. she has the biggest room now in the whole Building. (Yay mac)✨

She couldn't find an apartment anywhere near her job so she uses magic to get to work and uses the bus to get back home.

One day Wukong finds out she has a job while at home being bored when MK didn't have training that day and decides to prank call Some Humans for fun, it so happens it's the office place mac works at, she recognized mac voice and quickly hangs up.

Monkey Queen was immediately suspicious of why she had a job when she can just stay in FFM! that maybe it could be a scheme of some sort (and maybe secretly relieved that she was safe and mac still stayed in the city but would never admit it.) she looks up the company she works at, she calls MK to help her find out what Mac could be scheming.

MK knows she has a job just doesn't know where she works, he doesn't like bothering her too much cuz she looks tired sometimes.

Mk's tired of monkey Queen dragging him to sneak around mac offers monkey Queen a better solution, getting close to Mac by helping Mac out and offering to pick her up after work, bring her some vegetables and fruits from her FFM Mountain to save up some on groceries so on so forth just helping out a mac. She begrudgingly agrees.

Mac doesn't use glamor she uses magical items to glamor up so she doesn't waste too much Magic on it, it's her earrings.

Monkey Queen pulls pranks on their coworkers Mac complains about, how they pile their work on her and leave too early how they're just overly unhelpful and never do their work, and how they just gossip all day long. Just annoying coworkers!

MK suggests to Mac to offer monkey Queen to come around during her lunch break and offer to make her a boxed lunch too and just hang out since she's been so helpful. She decides that she could do that, just as a thank you for everything she's done for her. She hesitantly agrees.

MK and Mei plan to make them get along or become a couple they haven't decided on which one yet.🐲🐵 mischievous matchmakers.

Bonus

🎵Don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious,🎶

[employee052]

idk, crowsx3 design??? sdkjfh

the heads are all made of porcelain, and can rotate like that one horror short film with kevan brighting voicing in it

[toomuchracket]

this is in my top 10 matty pics of all time i fear

[fffanii]

08.21.24

[itsbrucey]

Was thinking more about my monster au and if it would have substance or just be " the dads are monsters" and I realized it would be funny if they were monsters from the forgotten realms and got sucked into the normal world to find their sons. Their sons haven't fully hit " monster puberty" or some dumb shit yet so they blend in easier and the dads have to find them in mundane and safe places where they stick out.

Also it would be funny to find out that Henry wasn't always a Harpy but got adopted by harpies as a baby and he kinda. Got magicked into one. Even funnier if Jodie is a demon upon showing up but finds out he's human and has a magical girl transformation to be normal,,,

Also I'm still not over Selkie Ron like Lark cooked so hard with that. My little seal fella,,,, he winds up in an aquarium and had to pretend to be so incredibly normal but ends up stealing a herring bucket.

DIGS NAILS INTO ARMREST. Also Werewolf Darryl transforming by accident bc of emotion..... Naga Glenn trying to hide with dresses and coats ( it does NOT work).

[crowsquaks]

I don't know what would objectively be funnier to me in a social media AU;

Isagi secretly running an account that is dedicated to Kaiser's Thighs

OR

Kaiser blatantly running the #1 Yoichi Isagi account.

[yuwuta]

I LOVE UR BRAIN SO BAD 😭😭😭 YOU ALWAYS POST THEBBEST HEADCANONS AND THOUGHTS LIKE. WORK HUSBAND GOJO. AND JUST HAVING A WHOLE IMAGINATION OF THE OFFICE W NANAMI AND HIGURUMA AND TOJI I?????? I WANT TO LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN

TEEHEEEE you’re so sweet <33333 the work husband to actual husband to househusband gojo pipeline is so so real to me and the office au that comes with it truly does take up space in my brain, so here’s some more loosely established points 

satoru has been your work husband since you got your first job in undergrad. you two met in your dorms, and became friends, and eventually you thought a job would help with your time management skills, so you got a very low-maintenance position at the front desk of the library. satoru applied right after you and schmoozed the two little old librarians into giving him the same shifts as you. that was probably the first moment satoru knew he was a little bit in love with you—because he had no reason to have a job while in school, but this small change in your schedule made him miss you so much that he was moved to get his very first job, probably ever, just to spend more time with you. 

he wasn’t bad at his library receptionist job, but he technically wasn’t good at it, either. if a student asked him for a laptop charger or to check out a book or something, he could do that, but anything else he’d just smile and say, “oh, you’ve gotta ask the pretty girl right there about that, she knows way more than me,” and bat his eyelashes at you. except, then, when you did need to get up to grab something for someone, satoru would just spring up instead, and tell you he’s got it. it’s like… he was incapable of helping anybody else unless he got to flirt with you, and then help you out to help them out……… strange boy 

anyways, satoru makes it a habit to assist you through your student jobs throughout undergrad, and then follows you to the same law school and repeats the process there. (also not to elle woods-ify him a bit but his father heavily questions him going to law school btw because satoru has never showed any interest in working, let alone following in his footsteps to be a lawyer, and now he’s going to law school? his mom is a bit sharper though, because when satoru tells his parents he’s going to the same law school as you, she just smiles and sips her tea and wonders if her son has already made a trip to their family jeweler). 

the firm is large, but the floor you work on is a pretty close knit group. there’s hiromi’s office at the tail end, which is the largest because he’s managing partner and he practically lives in there. on the other end, both you and nanami have decently sized offices. satoru doesn’t like hiromi at first because he thinks he’s mean. then satoru watches him play a little prank on kento, and suddenly the two of them are best friends. it would be a surprisingly wholesome friendship if their common denominator wasn’t irritating kento, and acting as guard dogs for you. 

kento’s office used to be just the bare necessities—law books, his degree, basic furniture, maybe a fancy paperweight, until satoru got his hands on it and decked it out. which is not something kento asked for, nor he thinks is necessary, but that doesn’t stop satoru from continually adding little trinkets and decorations and art to his office to make it livelier. when kento first meets you, he’s surprised when you tell him satoru gojo is going to be your secretary because kento interned for satoru’s father for two summers during law school, but when kento sees you and satoru together for the first time, it answers all of his questions. satoru couldn’t be more of a lovesick fool if he tried. 

listen the ex-convict to single father to janitor to lawyer toji pipeline is so real to me. while toji is working as a janitor at the firm, satoru slips once and then jokes that toji shines the floors too aggressively on purpose to make him slip, toji tells him to fuck off and he can sue for harassment. they truly don’t like each other at first, but once satoru steals toji’s masterkey to get into your office one night after you’re gone to leave flowers, and handle some paperwork to lighten your load in the morning, toji is sort of impressed. he still almost hits him with a broomstick, but even someone as gruff as him can see that satoru had pure intentions. toji is a lot of things, but he’s not immune to or devoid of love or passion. so, eventually he and satoru develop a weird sort of banter and respect for each other. one day someone actually tries to accuse toji of not putting the wet floor sign down and how it’s gonna be a lawsuit because some lowlife janitor fucked up his $3000 suit. satoru catches the argument as he’s heading upstairs and recognized the schmuck as the stuck up lawyer on the other side of kento’s case. satoru’s ready to jump in, but toji’s displaying an impressive amount of physical restraint and legal knowledge that when the dust is all settled, satoru asks him if he ever considered being a lawyer. toji laughs at it at first, but after a month of serious consideration (and megumi becoming a college freshman), he figures it can’t be all that bad. and turns out, toji’s a half-decent lawyer—once you’ve spent so much of your life skirting (or blatantly breaking) the law, you become pretty good at getting people out or around it, too. and with his life experience, he’s a pretty good judge of character; so when it comes time to lock up the bad ones, toji makes sure they get the maximum sentence.

except he has a bad habit of sending out emails with “URGENT: NEEDS ATTN” in the subject, which prompts you, kento, and hiromi to rush to his office, just to see toji with his feet up on his desk tell you that, “the emergency is i hate the opposing counsel, and now that i work on this side of the law i’d really like to not kill him, so somebody else should take this case.” 

anyways back to work husband secretary satoru. he pulls you out of boring meetings under the guise of an urgency, just for him to admit that the emergency is that he missed you, and you two were gonna be late for your lunch reservation. because he’s actually a licensed attorney, he can actually carry out duties an associate otherwise would, which saves you a lot of time and trouble; and it means that satoru gets to work even more closely with you, which is always an upside for him. sometimes you ask him to hand you documents and instead he just hands you his hand. and then pretends to blush and preen like a schoolgirl which always draws way too much attention to the two of you, but there’s no way to stop him either. he takes your coat off of your shoulders when you arrive in the morning, and helps you put it back on in the evening. when you tell him you’re looking for an apartment closer to the firm, he has eight places lined up for viewing, and one surprise at the end which happens to be the other vacant penthouse suite in his apartment building; which, conveniently, would make you satoru’s neighbor. he claims that it’ll be just like in college, but it certainly doesn’t feel that way when you finally move in and satoru can now loudly and proudly proclaim, “see you at home!” in the halls at work now. 

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

now...there are 2 ways Barnaby can react to his missing arm option 1: "WHERE [no no word] IS MY ARM??!!"

or option 2: "oh...erm...my arm's missing...ain't that....something..."

secret third option, actually!

"huh... guess i'm all right now"

[sigskk]

sooo i started thinking about pacific rim again

[ID: A traditional drawing of Sigma from Bungo Stray Dogs on lined paper, wearing a drivesuit from Pacific Rim. The drivesuit resembles a mecha-style suit of armor. His full body is shown, standing and leaning more onto his right leg. His right arm is awkwardly sitting near his waist, and his left hand is brushing his bangs from his face. The plates of armor are white, whereas the suit underneath is black. He's looking off to the right with a neutral expression. End ID.]