#maybe that totally not murderous robot could help with that

[corporatevalue]

When you think of the word charitable, surely enough, Jay - someone who speaks constantly about maximizing profit - will be the last one that'll come to mind. Those in partner- and enemy organizations alike know her to be ruthless and disciplined, just like a true member of the Port Mafia should be. While that perspective of her is accurate, it's not the full story.

That story is reserved for those within the Mafia. A ruthless lady who has zero tolerance for disobedience, yes, but one that is exceptionally loyal to anyone who finds themselves on the same side as her. While she'll never explicitly say as much, the organization - in particular her unit she's gone through thick and thin with - is family to her. She may fail in helping with concerns regarding emotional needs, and doesn't open up much about her own, but — she's sure to express her appreciation through actions of aid, even when the risks involved are high.

Now living in Spirale, she's still there for her subordinates if they need her, and counts on them for the same vice-versa, yes, but ultimately she now mostly just lives for herself as she waits, as there's no trace of the organization she's been loyal to within Spirale. That could change over night if she should return back home or if the executives founded the Port Mafia in this world, too, sure, but for now— she gets by as a finance manager.

…

That isn't to say she's now entirely uninvolved with the trade of sketchier products, though. In fact, it's why she's been traversing within the ground level of Fibonacci; a meet-up involving a deal that has already proven successful, and all that was now left for the day was for her to return home. At the very least, that was the intent.

As she turned a corner, the following sight— it was difficult for her to discern what exactly she is witnessing. It seemed to be a robot of some kind, writhing on the ground as all kinds of… error messages lit up in neon red, but that didn't match up with its batlike wings, that very much weren't metallic like the rest of its body. Was it in pain? In danger? Its surroundings were damaged; was it ambushed, or was it the robot's doing? With the only light source being the red LED, she couldn't tell whether it was some substance like oil that ornamented its surroundings, or plain blood.

Street smarts dictate to get out immediately, and if not, to at least pull out a weapon in preparation. Jay didn't do either. The robot wasn't someone she knows, let alone someone she'd care to help, and yet, she felt something tugging at her. There's no way in hell that thing has anything to do with her homeworld or the Port Mafia, and yet. and yet. Call it intuition, call it a hunch. Whatever the case, Jay couldn't brush off the feeling that it's related to that strange memory that has been plaguing her; the memory with all the wires and skyscrapers just like this sight.

It's not like her to ignore a possible lead.

"Are you okay? Have you been ambushed?" she'd attempt to communicate, checking whether it is responsive, as she hurries to the robot to kneel down next to it. Squinting, she could pick up at least one of the alerts warning about high temperature, and so she'd open her briefcase in a hurry to find something that may help to combat that issue. All she found was a bottle, which, perhaps - by dampening cloth - could help to cool down its metallic surface, but when she opened the bottle, all she received was the stench of disappointment. It was Oil. Why - pray tell - did she carry a bottle of MOTOR OIL with her??

Wait, no. That might be good. It's a robot, after all.

"Here-" she'd hold out the bottle to the robot while a drop of sweat would run down her neck. "It's Oil."

@deathreversed

[i-live-here-in-my-house]

Thinking about a world where Sega and Capcom came together and gave us what we all deserve: a Sonic X Ace Attorney crossover game. I would think it'd lean more into a visual novel style, maybe with some parts more similar to the Investigation games where you play as Sonic in kinda an isometric platforming stage? Honestly that part isn't as fully formed in my mind.

Some sort of Eggman plot ends up getting everyone accidentally sent to the world of AA while he's on the search for some kinda spirit channeling maguffin to aid him in a take-over-the‐world-plot. And of course Phoenix "luckiest unlucky man ever" Wright ends up getting himself stuck right in the middle of it all.

For the first/tutorial case I think Sonic would absolutely need to be the defendant. I would think the events of the case probably take place either the same day of or the day after the Sonic cast gets transported into the world. Something along the lines of Sonic not having an alibi because he was moving too fast for them to see him would be a perfect kinda turnabout twist to combine the logic of both series together imo.

Also throughout the whole game there would 100% be a running gag about people mistaking Phoenix and Sonic for eachother purely because of Wright's hair and Sonic's quills

Case two's defendant is a toss up between Knuckles or Tails imo, I lean more towards Knuckles being the one though for one very important reason. Tails would be perfect for the Ace Attorney 'weird girl assistant' role. Obviously Sonic would be tagging along too (because no way in hell would you not be able to have both protagonists hanging out together) but Tails would be totally down to help and Sonic, while he totally wants to help Knux, is very much in a "I could just break him out and be back before they could even notice he's gone" mood which is causing Phoenix just SO much grief.

I think this would probably break from the general mold of AA and not be a murder case and instead be a larceny case, with Knuckles being accused of the crime due to his digging skills, and the fact that tunnels were found all around the property of the stolen object. This is where we learn about this spirit channeling macguffin through either a Pearl cameo, who we learn through fluff dialogue is now an honorary member of Team Rose due to how well she gets along with them. It turns out to actually be Rouge who stole the macguffin under orders from G.U.N to keep it out of Eggman's hands meaning she doesn't sentenced for the crime since she technically didn't break any laws.

Case three's defendant would be Big the Cat because I think it'd be funny. Something along the lines of Big looking for Froggy and ending up at a totally unrelated murder scene. You play as Apollo in this case because he's my favorite boy and I think it'd be funny to watch him struggle with having to deal with Big. Just a general silly case full of wacky crossover fun before getting more seriously into the plot with the final two cases. Also the Chaotix are there because you can't have a mystery game without detective. Are the helping? Are they against you? Not really sure. But it'd be a massive missed opportunity to NOT include them.

Amy would be case four's defendant, with her piko piko hammer being found at the scene and Omega's body being found in pieces. That's right! I think it'd be interesting to have a named character be the victim of one of these cases, but obviously I'm not gonna kill anyone off. I think Omega would be the best pick though since he's a robot and it'll take time for Tails to fix him from the totally wrecked state he's in. I think it'd be fun to have Shadow as a key witness in this case, believing Amy did it. He doesn’t want to suspect she did something like this, but claims he saw her in the act of tearing Omega apart with her hammer, take the macguffin and then bolt.

It goes without saying it's obviously Eggman trying to frame Amy for this, using Metal Sonic to frame her by using his shape shifting powers from Heros to disguise himself as her, take apart Omega to retrieve the macguffin, and get it to Eggman. Leading into the final case.

The final case would be a continuation from there with out heros all joining together to try and stop Eggman from using the machine being powered by the Macguffin. Maybe something about Phoenix needing to come with because his magatama is able to counteract it...? Idk. Get that mandatory Edgeworth cameo in there with it being revealed that him and Franziska were teaming up with Team Dark the whole game to help put a stop to things (Giving us fun Phoenix + Sonic and Edgeworth + Shadow parallels). Of course the heros manage to put a stop to things and everyone goes back to their own world yadda yadda happy ending.

This came out way longer than I expected haha but I hope y'all like the concept! If I had the patience I'd totally write this as a fan fic but I know I don't so if anyone wants to take my idea and expand on it absolutely do it! Just let me know so I can read it too. :3

[yallemagne]

So I finished the first season of X-Men: The Animated Series of course. Highlights?

Episode 1 & 2: Night of the Sentinels

Jubilee's father really fuckin sold her out huh? And holy shit the fucking sentinels. Dog, why did you MAKE THEM SO BIG. I had expected like that they started small and got bigger ones when the X-Men were revealed, but no, without even alerting the nation that they were making these robots, they sent a giant ass robot into a mall to capture one teenager.

Me pointing out "huh Morph is getting a lot of moments here, I like it" followed by them immediately dying. Like damn. They really did that. No wonder the creators backed out of having Thunderbird be in Morph's role, that would have just been insulting. Especially since he probably wouldn't have been brought back.

"Tell Cyclops... I made him a convertible."

Cyclops refuses to apologize for leaving without Morph and Beast but instead offers Logan an opportunity for revenge. It's so them. These petty bastards.

Episode 3: Enter Magneto

Beast... you're so silly. So, Beast refuses a rescue by Magneto (he's imprisoned) because "I'm awaiting a fair trial that will prove my innocence"... girl. You are a giant blue man. So, yeah, another case where Magneto was right.

Sabretooth is such a fake-ass bitch, I love it. So, he shows up at the trial causing a ruckus and gets injured and the X-Men take him in and start treating him like their pathetic little meow meow. This couldn't possibly go wrong.

"Come on, they're gonna kill him!" "Good." *turns around* "WHAT?"

"He's a threat." "He was near death." "Not near enough."

They just keep giving Wolverine all the best lines.

Episode 4: Deadly Reunions

Sabretooth, my poor little meow meow... all you did was a few itty bitty kitty murders... That's what Charles is saying at the start of this episode.

Xavier truly does try to get to the root of Sabretooth's anger with some super therapy, but alas, Sabretooth is just That Bitch. We do know that a competent telepath can temper his anger though, just look at Birdy.

They leave Jubilee alone with him acknowledging full well "this man is more dangerous than Wolverine... have fun babysitting!" He's restrained in a chair growling "let me at 'em" as Senator Kelly is being racist on TV and Jubilee very kindly turns it off and he's like "sowwy I'm twying to be a good boy... 😿" So of course Jubilee sees his restraints are hurting his wrists and releases him to help. Hahahaha. Oh girl.

If this were a show being produced today, I could totally see Sabretooth being accepted by the X-Men because "daww look he's angry just like you Wolverine" being drawn out into a longer arc where he actually gains their trust so it creates a genuine rift in the team... but also maybe he's not that patient for a scheme like that.

(also I know the show probably isn't going with the continuity that they're blood-related, but Wolverine telling them Sabretooth is nothing but trouble and getting hit with "but he's just like you 🥺" is very brother-coded okay?? Anyone who has a terrible older brother can relate.)

"Alright you egg-sucking piece of gutter trash. You always liked pushing around people smaller than you. WELL, I'M SMALLER! TRY PUSHING ME!!" << that's some little brother dialogue.

(… Morph would have listened to Wolverine about Sabretooth. Morph knows the Deep Lore.)

Episode 5: Captive Hearts

Callisto saw Cyclops and immediately said "I'm gonna make him my trophy husband", and while that is a valid reaction, no means no, hun.

They literally establish Storm as the Morlock's future Moses basically with her promising to come back for them when the time is right and they feel safe to breech the surface. And then they gave Magneto that role in '97. Ugh. He has the nerve to say Xavier just left them down there when it was in fact Storm that respected their right to self-determination.

Episode 6: Cold Vengeance

I love every time I see Sabretooth, he's just so silly-looking. No wonder everyone else imprinted on him like "hehe silly orange kitty" he's so BIG. He's incredibly top-heavy, just look at his bazongas.

We got through this with no sacrifice of Inuit life but a sombre sentiment that they'll be abandoning the old ways rather than rebuilding their homes.

Episode 7: Slave Island

Jubilee and Gambit have a nice little dynamic. He's the first person Jubilee used her powers to protect and she does it multiple times. I imagine he's like her cool older brother with street smarts.

No wonder Gambit was suspicious of Genosha in '97. Can't really trust that all is well when the foundation of that place was quite literally built with slavery.

This just makes Magneto's "tsk tsk Charles didn't use his wealth and resources to ship a load of UNWILLING Morlocks to Genosha for their own good" comment in '97 all the more frustrating. Man can be a dumbass.

Anyway--- CABLE CABLE CABLE. My silly little big boy.

Episode 8: The Unstoppable Juggernaut

Juggernaut is such a funny guy. I feel like usually, the big guys don't get to be the wise-cracking type, so this piece of shit was fun to watch.

Also just love Colossus, he's perfect.

Episode 9: The Cure

It's hard to feel bad for Warren when he's literally rich and funding a project that can be easily weaponized to hurt mutants. Sure, he was tricked and wasn't actually funding his "cure", but it would have been awful even if he got what he wanted. Just wear one of those collars for the rest of your life, jackass.

HOW IS NO ONE CHECKING IN ON THIS RESEARCH?? This experimentation on human beings is taking place with no government interference???

Pyro and Avalanche are fucking don't even try to convince me otherwise. Pyro, I don't care where you are from, I'm gonna be so weird about you calling every man you meet “darling”.

Episode 10: Come the Apocalypse

The public will see literally any villain and be like "A RENEGADE MUTANT!!" Like yeah sure I think Apocalypse technically is a mutant?? But like they really just profile all criminals as mutants.

Again, not sorry for you, rich boy.

Poor Rogue, having to absorb all these men's damage.

Episode 11 & 12: Days of Future Past

Bishop is a fucking traitor holy shit. Sure he gets better but damn. Girly was really like "The face-eating jaguars would never eat my face." and then was immediately told he was no longer needed.

"Someone... or something has come back through the time portal." "CHECK PLEASE! TIME PORTAL?"

"You kids better behave yourselves; I'm staying behind to babysit."

"Okay, ROUND BOY. Let's dance."

Wolverine has all the best lines.

Wonder why Mystique specifically chose to impersonate Gambit for the assassination. Perhaps he seemed the most likely? Perhaps a grudge against him for his relationship with Rogue?

Episode 13: The Final Decision

I'm so fucking disappointed that the fate of mutantkind lies in the hands of Senator Kelly because, dog, I wanna shoot him.

When you make a giant racist robot factory and even the giant racist robot factory is smart enough to recognize that mutant rights are human rights and so it resolves to protect humanity by replacing it with robots. Fucking dumbasses.

Honestly makes you wonder what the fuck Trask thought he was doing coming back in the new series. He knew that starting up another Master Mold would inevitably lead to the robots replacing politicians' brains with computers and he DID IT AGAIN ANYWAY.

Seeing Chuck and Magnus working together always warms my heart. And then they go right back to being enemies.

That Mister Sinister teaser at the end was... I'm not gonna say it.

[no-psi-nan]

Why Tousuke (Akechi x Kusuke)?

Akechi can beat Kusuo, and by extension, Kusuke, at many games, which gives Kusuke a new rival to focus on

Similar intelligence levels but in very different areas, so they can respect, admire, and actually learn from each other

Roughly same age (~2 years difference)

Kusuke can't lie to Akechi and Akechi doesn't lie, so they'd actually be able to communicate lol

Akechi has a strong moral compass so he'll #influence Kusuke towards fewer weapons of mass destruction

But also Akechi is a lunatic so he would think it perfectly cool and awesome that Kusuke made a cat with a hypodermic needle eye (such efficient packaging, you've managed to fit an enormous quantity of equipment into the compact and adorable body of this robotic feline– a sharp gaze indeed!)

Akechi & Kusuke collab on making assistive devices for Kusuo (without any built-in traps 🙄)

Kusuo, Kusuke, and Akechi all now get TWO playmates. What sorts of insane games will they play??

Akechi & Kusuke doing research on psychics together and helping the other characters discover/develop their powers

Akechi could probably get Kusuke to sleep more than 17 minutes a day or w/e lol.

Kusuke finally gets a real friend and cuddle buddy and maybe more...

They're both somewhere in the aromantic + asexual spectrums and Akechi would totally know how to figure out and navigate those feelings.

Akechi wouldn't be freaked out by Kusuke's bizarre fascinations and kinks or by his occasional need to lock himself in the lab and make something insane

Parallel play in the laboratory or Akechi helping Kusuke with experiments & builds <3 Akechi cooking real meals for Kusuke on occasion and often preparing fancy little desserts to share.

Completely insane date nights. Visits to advanced nuclear reactors. Jet pack excursions. Giant mech battles. Billionaire yacht party where someone gets coincidentally murdered and Akechi gets do a "whodunnit" for realsies. Stealing something out of a museum together. Kidnapping politicians who are making very bad decisions. Eating at both Michelin 3-star restaurants and holes-in-the-wall. Cheating casinos. Debating the morality of cannibalism until 4am. Tour of Europe. Fully immersive virtual reality games.

They PVP psychoanalyze each other for fun.

Most intimidating aura combo of all time. Local blond menaces.

They steal each other's clothes all the time and it becomes an increasingly elaborate game to add security measures to their closets. Until they accidentally end up obliterating each other's closets at the same and laugh and have to go shop for new clothes together.

[ Succumb to my propaganda... ]

[ladyloveandjustice]

Winter 2024 Anime Overview: Metallic Rouge

Metallic Rouge

Premise: There are a robot-alien-whatever race called Neans and they're really oppressed and all that, you've heard about Detroit Become Human you know how it is. Rouge is a Nean who's been tasked by her brother with killing the Immortal Nine, super powerful Neans who want to not be oppressed and are willing to kill the humans that use them as slaves. Rouge's partner is Naomi Orthman and she's pretty fun. Eventually, Rouge sort of starts to wonder if ruthlessly killing her own people who are fighting oppression might be a bad thing actually.

Man what a mess. Kind of a fascinating, ambitious mess, but it's so bad. (If you're a fan, I encourage you not to engage with this review, you have better things to do than upsetting yourself for no reason).

I was attracted to this because like, it's focused on two women with really cool character designs! And they get to fight and be cool and have a vitriolic best buds kind of partnership! Naomi is pretty charming. The show does often LOOK good, and there's some genuinely cool animation moments, I'll give it that.

However, I realized fairly quickly that the story was a hodgepodge that didn't seem to have much of a grasp on even the basics of writing, but by that point I wanted to see what stupid plot twist it'd pull next. I don't know if it was a good decision but it sure was a decision I made. It means I get to write a review where I can be mean which is always easier than trying to convey how good a show is, I guess because less pressure.

The story starts in media res in a very confusing way. It does (attempt to) explain things a bit in later eps, but you never really stop having the feeling you've just been plopped in the middle of an ongoing story. I think it's very likely, that like so many shows, this was supposed to be a 26 episode show but it was cut down to 13 because anime originals sadly don't get to be that long anymore.

I don't think a longer runtime would have made the plot less stupid and frustrating, but it probably would have made the show a little better and some events have more impact. But rather than cut some events to let the story breathe, the show insisted on cramming a ridiculous amount of plot twists into a short runtime, meaning they never had time to land and you had no reason to care about most of the characters.

The approach to the Neans was a total mess especially. Very badly written for the most part. The Neans are literally slaves. Because of the Asimov Code (literally naming it that in universe is pretty funny I'll admit) they have to do whatever humans say, and most of the humans ruthlessly abuse them, use them as shields when there's danger, often steal their life giving nectar for kicks and leave them to die horribly, the police gun them down all the time, and also a huge amount of them are in a forced labor camp on Venus where they either die from the horrible conditions, (often falling directly in lava or being irradiated or whatever) or they just work until their bodies give out. (It definitely doesn't help that two of the Neans we see killed most horribly are Black-coded.)

DESPITE ALL THIS, the story inexplicably tries to both sides it for most of the anime. Some of the Neans are actually really evil because they'll do violence to escape their oppression! That's so bad, they're just as bad as the humans, they're really mean and randomly murder their own allies! Rouge is genuinely presented with the dilemma of "you can free the Neans and maybe they'll rightfully want revenge and kill some humans and society will ~be in chaos~ or you can just let your own people continue to be enslaved and horribly killed and abused every day. And she's like "hmm I dunno. Both sides have a point. yeah I think freeing them could be bad". Incredible. (Granted it does come around a little in its conclusion when some characters randomly change their minds, but it's way too little too late)

If you couldn't tell, Rouge is a really nothing character who it's hard to sympathize with thanks to her baffling choices, except for in a couple episodes that were genuinely charming and fun and made you think "hmm maybe it would have been fun to see these characters get into some shenanigans". Naomi at least has a fun personality, and I had a little bit of crush before her character mostly went down the tubes with everyone else.

Naomi and Rouge's dynamic could be pretty fun and was definitely the best thing about the show (and the only times Rouge showed any personality was with Naomi and a spoiler character), but the show insisted on speedrunning their conflicts and separating them constantly despite that dynamic supposedly being so central to the story, so.

But really, as I said, the most entertaining part of the end of the show was seeing how many ridic plot twists it could cram in, most of which had no impact because you didn't care about the characters, they didn't make much sense, and there was very little to set them up. EVIL ALIENS, EVIL FAMILIES, THIS BORING CHARACTER HAS SECRETLY BEEN PULLING THE STRINGS BECAUSE REASONS, that kind of stuff.

But I have to leave off telling y'all how one plot twist in the final episode is undone LITERALLY 30 SECONDS LATER because of something a character did off screen. also it's done two minutes before the episode ends. It's so funny I have to tell you.

SPOILERS

---

Rouge pressed the button that frees all the Neans. Then a character who hadn't done much but I guess is the big bad now pops up and is like "Rouge you freeing the Neans was all part of my plan because you activating the device actually infected them with an EVIL PROGRAM AND NOW THEY WILL FIGHT FOR THE EVIL ALIENS!! Rouge was like "wha?" but then the Neans glowing red evil eyes immediately turned off and the brother was like "actually I anticipated it and hacked it offscreen they're actually free." And the villain just leaves without really reacting. Amaaaazing.

---

So yes, wouldn't recommend this show unless you really like watching trainwrecks, and despite how amazing a trainwreck it is, there are stretches where it's just a slog.

(God, this review ended up longer than I thought. So much carnage and crumpled metal to describe. But now I'm officially free.)

[kokoa-la]

This is a snippet of the first chapter to my fic Robin Hood (reference to this post)

A Crow's Murder

Danny was thoroughly exhausted. Ever since he died, he could never seem to catch a break. At all. Even as a 20 year old civilian, life wanted to punch him in the face- repeatedly. Sure, he may have been stealing from labs at night (Wayne industries included) but they had tons of money for replacements! Look, ghost hunting without using his ghost powers was tough, especially when the entirety of the Fenton labs went up in flames. The only thing he had on him when he left was a blaster and a thermos, not enough for the jobs he was trying to accomplish. He really wasn’t a criminal! It was all for the greater good! He swears it! Heroes break the law to save people all the time, how is he any different? (They’re not fugitives with entire government branches after them).

Still, he didn’t want to leave Gotham just because the Bats were getting closer on his tail. He was doing so well at not using his powers, even learned how to lock pick so he avoided walking through walls! Sam would 100% be proud of him and his hard work at fucking over large corporations and unethical research.

Anyways, his little Bat problem is what led to his current situation, moving apartments into Crime alley, specifically Red Hood’s territory. When he first got to Gotham and accidentally hobbled inside he immediately ‘Noped’ right out of there. First off, the vibes were retched. Second, he knew a warning sign in aura if he ever saw one, and the border between uptown Gotham and this was blaring red lights and sirens screaming “STAY OUT”, and Danny knew how to listen to directions like that. Sadly, now he was left with no choice.

Batman had been patrolling around where he lives a little too much recently. Normally, the clan would take turns patrolling certain areas at certain times for safety, but not recently. Danny knew they were catching onto him. His ghostliness messed with cameras when he let his aura loose, but it didn’t erase the fact that the footage existed. He knew they didn’t have a clear picture of him or his abilities, but they knew he existed and knew he was a phantom thief, and that was enough. Danny no longer questioned their titles as ‘best detectives in the world’. After all, they were giving him a run for his money.

Moving to Crime Alley was indeed the best option, though. Danny had analyzed the bats and their movements ever since he moved here a year ago at 19. He knew that after Red Hood had his whole war with them, they backed off of the area and the haunt finally settled as the vigilante’s territory. Now, a few years after that, the bats left the area alone except for special circumstances during major events. That meant that the safest option for the halfa right now, was to walk into the lion’s den and pray he wasn’t hungry.

.

.

.

Maybe he shouldn’t have started thieving this soon-

Currently, he was being chased to hell high waters by Red Hood and his two guns affectionately named. To be fair, he didn’t even get to actually steal anything, so technically he wasn’t breaking the law. Sure, he broke into a VladCo. Lab and went rummaging through the computers using tuckers parting gift to him- but that didn’t make him a criminal. Honestly, he was offended, didn’t even get to trash the place as a ‘fuck you’ to Vlad. The man deserved it after the shit he pulled ever since Danny turned 14. The man had disappeared like his parents, and while it was concerning, Danny couldn’t help but be glad he was gone.

“Stop!”

A robotic voice called after him from a few feet behind. How Red Hood was so large and still this fast was beyond him. Nevermind the fact that he felt dead, but not. He wasn’t necessarily a halfa, but he did have that ‘totally died and didn’t revive right’ vibes to him that just gave him a chill.

Danny didn’t answer him, just continued running for his life and jumping between buildings. Maybe he did use his powers a bit to make landings easier and make up for his obvious lack of experience or skill, no one could call him out on it.

He had just wanted information on where the man had gone. While he was thankful for the somewhat peace, Vlad disappearing always meant bad news. Worse if he was in danger and caught by the GIW. There were reports of Vlad being seen at some of the Wayne Galas, but that was half a year ago, no word since. He’d hate to say it, but he was worried. Sure, he hated the man’s guts- he was a total fruitloop and only got worse over time, but he was the first halfa, and whether Danny admitted it or not he learned a lot from him. Sue him for being a little concerned, if not for Plasmius, then for himself. The GIW having any ghost was bad news for him. Live research only spelled bad news. 

The lab was practically no help. The only thing the computers contained were some schematics for his equipment in the basement, but none of it was the real dangerous stuff like the portal or even cloning pods. Danny was still happy he got the chance to destroy the lab and all the tech in it, he loved Dani, but he didn’t think he could handle another clone dying or destabilizing. Dani was in the Ghost Zone, exploring and mapping out all of its locations. He didn’t know what he’d do if she got caught in the crossfires of this war. 

Danny jumped from one roof to another, he had to keep to buildings close to each other. Unlike Red Hood, he didn’t have a grappling hook to bring him across streets. He didn’t want to alert Batman of his not-totally-human status. Best case scenario he thought he was a meta who could fly and would do his whole ‘no metas in Gotham’ spiel. Worst case scenario he figured out Danny was a powerful ghost who happened to be a fugitive from the government and would turn him in. From then on Danny didn’t know what they’d do to him, but he’d never tell them how to build the portal. That information died with him and him alone. 

By the time he heard bullets going past him and a rubber one hitting him square in the shoulder, he knew he had to get gone. Danny had already ran past his new home, any farther and he’d have to use his powers way longer than normal. Slowly the two had gone up in height between buildings, by now if he fell off the side he’d get at least severely injured, but that height was nothing to his flight. Danny waited another minute before speeding up and widening the distance between them before ‘slipping’ and falling down the side of the building rather ungracefully. 

By the time Red Hood caught up, Danny was gone. 

___________________________________________

Here's the link to the fic! A Crow's Murder

@dat1angel @redhoneysugarorange @easily-broken-by-emotion @summerfox1988 @bathildaburp @collectingthegoods @ravenr22 @strawberryfire17 @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit

[siriannatan]

"Watcha' doing?" - GrianImpulse

So @brainrotranch posted those cute Impulse Grian arts and I literally had to write something :}

Grian had no particular interest in redstoners. If he did he'd have interest beyond explosives and murder dungeons in Tango. His fascination with Mumbo was all to do with his moustache. And Impulse... Maybe he actually liked Impulse. Not like he was admitting anything or that it had anything to do with his technical prowess. 

The problem was... everyone assumed Grian had a thing for Mumbo. But they were just really good friends. All best friends make potentially homicidal robots that see them as father figures together. Besides, Mumbo had a thing for Iskall. And was incredibly bad about it. Worse than Timmy about Tango.

Not that Grian was weird about his crush. It was perfectly normal for him to perch around Pearl and Gem's bases. They had a lot of good thinking spots. For thinking about his base. The back as well. It was just a coincidence Impulse lived in the area and often flew in and out of his base. And flew around the general area helping his neighbours and pranking them and stuff. Admiring someone's flying skill was totally normal for avians...

"Watcha' doing?" Grian almost fell off the branch of Gem's massive cherry tree when Impulse was suddenly very much next to him. "Wah, careful," the 'dwarf' laughed. He was not fooling anyone with his disguise even if he did look good with a beard. Grian was more than aware there was a literal demon from the depths of the Nether next to him. A very handsome demon he happened to maybe, possibly have a crush on. And helping him not fall off. "You okay? I'm sorry..." Impulse jumped to apologising as soon as they were sure Grian would not fall.

"It's okay, I was a bit lost in thought, base planning and so on," Grian rambled, trying to not focus on Impulse's arm still around his waist.

"Is that why you're here all the time?" Impulse hummed, his hand slowly retreating. "Are you okay? Your face is almost as red as your jumper."

"I... I'm fine just got startled... I should go back to the back of my base," Grian desperately said the first thing that came to mind and turned to fly away. While completely forgetting they're on a tree branch... 

And would plummet down if Impulse didn't catch him. Which would be really good if it didn't mean he was now in Impulse's arms, awkwardly clinging to his shirt. His face was even redder now. Hoping what he was hearing was wind and not Pearl snickering somewhere nearby.

"I can't believe I'm saying it but I think you need a break from building," Impulse sighed and gently glided down to his base.

Grian did not dare move. Too scared Impulse might accidentally drop him. Until he was gently deposited on a couch in a relatively small, compared to the whole underground keep, living quarters hidden behind Impulse's marvellous sorting system. Grian would ask him if he could build him one if he didn't know how 'much' he'd use it... Wasting Impulse's time was absolutely not something he ever wanted to do.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Impulse asked, breaking Grian away from his thoughts once again. There was a pleasantly warm hand on his forehead. "Maybe you spend too much time around Decked Out and caught a cold?" the demon-dwarf wondered.

"No... I..." Grian tried to come up with an excuse as to why his face was even redder than his jumper. "You're just freaking handsome okay..." Grian huffed, feathers puffing out around him. It might have nearly doubled his size but did not hide him at all.

Impulse just sighed, shaking his head. "Next time just tell me and not stalk me?" he asked, hand on hips. "And if I'm understanding correctly, I like you too, so come by whenever as long as I'm home. And. Do. Not. Press. Any. Buttons."

"Will do..." Grian nodded with a hint of a smile. Why did he ever doubt his own charms?

He did not protest when Impulse insisted he stay for lunch. And it was a lovely lunch, followed by cuddles and a nap. And maybe overexcited Gem and Pearl running in to congratulate them early in the morning...

[rlyc00l]

Rhys gets to know his new "team" as he tries to get a handle on his potentially profitable (but let's be real, most likely fatal) situation. Claptrap is irritating. A certain helmet-wearing asshole seems intent on making things difficult.

Hi guys I had a few chapters basically ready to go (mostly laid out and just needing some editing) and you know what? I'm just gonna post them as they're ready.

EDIT: Chapter also under the break!

———— A few of Rhys’s new bandit companions had taken it upon themselves to haul out the corpses and body parts that littered the place. Rhys would have offered to help, but corpses were pretty gross and he had claimed himself a nice warm spot by the furnace. 

He wasn’t the only one not participating, that first one he’d met–who he’d started mentally referring to with the inventive nickname of “Helmet Asshole”–ignored the corpses in favor of rifling through cabinets, boxes, and shelves, occasionally pocketing ammo or whatever else they found. The big, masked bandit sat beside the fire, holding his hands nearly inside the flames. And the Claptrap rolled around, complaining about his missing eye and bumping into things. 

As the others finally settled in for the night, Rhys found it impossible to fall asleep, lying there on the hard metal floor. Nearby, the fire crackled, the Claptrap whirred, one of the bandits snored, and the big one murmured to himself. Sighing, he rolled onto his back and opened a map on his ECHOeye interface. There had to be a way back to Helios–some Hyperion outpost or something. 

Or, nothing. There was nothing. Nothing in any direction, for miles. Just ice and a few abandoned villages, some marked “Bandit Infested”. Silently, Rhys apologized to Handsome Jack for ever doubting his propaganda. It seemed his only choice was to stick with this pack of bandits who, for now, had decided against killing him. He could figure things out as he went. Every trial was an opportunity in disguise, wasn’t it? Wasn’t that how that motivational poster went? The one with Handsome Jack, standing on the corpse of the Destroyer. 

This was the planet that made Jack the man he was, after all. He could prove himself here. If these bandits were important enough that Jack wanted them dead, this was the opportunity of a lifetime. 

Rhys sat up, confirming everyone was asleep before activating his ECHOeye and scanning the soldier, sleeping a few feet away. Axton. Ex-Dahl commando, dishonorable discharge. War criminal. Five billion reward. Surely Jack would pay a percentage of that for his location. Maybe, Rhys would find a chance to covertly ECHO into Hyperion without alerting the bandits. Jack himself would send down soldiers and a ride back home. If Rhys survived, he’d live a long life as the second richest man on Helios. Next, he scanned the short one–Salvador–who slept propped up against a wall, snoring. Salvador was a Pandoran native with a long list of crimes, cannibalism among them. A 720 billion bounty. If Rhys were a stronger man, this room would practically be an Eridium mine. But there was no fooling himself, he stood no chance in a fight. No, he’d just scan them, one by one. His ECHOeye history would serve to prove to Hyperion that he was in close proximity to them.

Next, Helmet Asshole. He’d seen them situate themself further from the others, on a couch against the wall, or…Wait, where’d they go? He looked around the room. Gone. 

Had they moved on alone? Fine by him, that was one less bandit.

Rhys sat up enough to see the teenager. It was hard to feel good about the prospect of selling out a kid, but sacrifices had to be made.

Gaige. A high school senior right out of Eden-5, tech-wiz, and total nerd, built a killer robot that murdered another student. 

Too bad, she could have made something of herself in Hyperion. Her bounty was 820 billion, leaving Rhys to wonder how they came up with these numbers. If he could take any of these bandits in a fight, it was the teenager. Her crappy, bargain bin cybernetic arm looked homemade. 

Then there was the big guy, still murmuring to himself. He tossed and turned as he slept, the other sleepers had given him a wide berth. 

Krieg. “Property of Hyperion”. That gave Rhys pause. He’d heard the rumors, bandits and incompetent employees alike dragged off to laboratories on Pandora for unethical experiments. The guy looked like the product of that sort of thing. It was hard not to pity him, but listening to the murmurings of “No…flayed her shining jugular…wear your face as a hat…ribcage tied into knots…” Okay, right, whatever he was, probably best off with Hyperion now. A hundred billion.  

Maya. She seemed human, almost normal, despite threatening him. She’d stood up for him and helped him out. Even so–  

“What are you doing?” Helmet Asshole materialized out of previously empty space, looming over him. In a swift motion, they crouched, their eponymous helmet a foot away from his face. 

Rhys shut off the ECHOeye. “Nothing, I–” They grabbed his chin, forcibly turning his head to face them as they leaned closer. “An ECHOeye. No surprise. / You were scanning them.” 

He glanced sideways. Everyone was still sleeping, Helmet Asshole had been keeping their voice down. “And what the hell were you doing?” he hissed. 

“Doesn’t concern you. / You’re the Hyperion stooge. / Will you sell us out?” 

Rhys hesitated. “Look, I-I’m just trying to get my bearings here. They pointed guns at me. I needed to find out who I’m dealing with.” 

They considered for a moment, releasing his face. It ached where they’d held him. “Understandable. / Was there anything of note? / I would like to know.” 

He looked at them, doubting he’d heard right. “I mean, they’re all dangerous wanted murderers? I-I don’t know what you’re looking for. No entries saying ‘they’ll kill you in your sleep’ but…” 

“Nothing useful?” “Depends on your definition of useful.”

They sighed and projected something blindingly bright in his face, Rhys turned away from the glare. 

“It’s of no matter,” they said, standing. “I will warn you. Sell me out, / And I’ll have your head.” 

“Right. I will definitely not do that.” Red light was still dancing in his vision. 

They stood and returned to their couch, lying down with their legs hanging over the end. There’d be no way of knowing when they fell asleep. No more scanning, then. He lay back, closing his eyes. 

———

“Wake up, my loyal minions! You have a bullymong to kill and a fearless leader to avenge!” It was still dim when the Claptrap began zipping around again, running into anyone too slow to get out of the way, occasionally letting out an “oof” or “ow.” The others woke with groggy protests and threats. “Knuckle-Dragger won’t know what hit him! It’ll be bullets and lots of them! Presumably! I guess it could also be swords, or fists, or a hatchet, or a really big stick, or…” Rhys was sore, hungry, and tired. Never had he wanted to murder anything so bad as he wanted to murder that stupid loud robot. He half-expected one of the bandits to do him a favor in that regard, impulsive as bandits were known to be, but none of them stepped up to the task. 

They were soon all out the door, and onto the bright, icy tundra. Helmet Asshole quickly got ahead of them, as did the blinded Claptrap. Sometimes, someone would warn it before it fell off a ledge or ran into something, but more often, they just let it happen. 

Before long Krieg was rushing after the robot, kicking up snow and laughing with his buzzaxe raised high, never bringing it down to smash the thing’s head in.  

“Wait! I found your larynx putrefying on the rocks! Why aren’t you suffocating?!” 

His movements were as erratic. Every once in a while he’d stop suddenly, twitching or smacking himself, sometimes delivering an intense one-eyed stare to one of the others. Rhys was on the receiving end of most of those. 

“Hey, uh, aren’t guys like him kind of murder-happy and extremely unpredictable?” Rhys asked Maya, keeping his voice low after the third murderous-looking glare in the past half hour. 

“Like your boss?” 

“I…I guess. Former boss, for the record.” Rhys ignored the urge to defend Jack’s decisions regarding murder. “But I mean, is it safe having him around?” 

“I think everyone’s wondering the same thing about you.” “I’m not waving around a buzzaxe and yelling about larynxes.” “Fair, but Krieg seems to be pretty in control of everything but his mouth. More or less.” 

“He keeps looking at me like he wants to rip out my spine.”

Maya shrugged. “From what I can gauge, Hyperion did that to him. Can you blame him? He helped me out earlier, and he was the first one to decide not to kill you. Perhaps you should be more open-minded?” 

“No, I think maybe you’re being too open-minded,” Axton cut in from behind, stepping in beside Rhys. “That guy’s been filled chock full of eridium. People like that? Ticking time bombs. He’s second place on the list of guys who’ll probably kill us in our sleep. You’re third, by the way, Reeze.” He grinned as he said it.

“It’s Rhys, and uh…” He gave a choked chuckle, trying to figure out if the guy was joking or not. “I’m not planning to? Uh, who’s first? On that list.” 

“That would be Zer0.” He gestured to Helmet Asshole, walking alone, far out of earshot. They seemed to glide across the snow while the rest trudged through it. “If I were Jack, I would have hired them to finish us off. Creepy bastard.” Rhys watched them. They were near the Claptrap. The robot was chattering at them, giving the others a blessed break from its voice. “I mean, to be fair, they had ample opportunity to kill me after the train crashed.” He said it half to reassure himself. 

Axton laughed. “Huh, wonder why not, Hyperion.” 

“Hey, if Jack meant for me to play double agent, he wouldn’t have tried to blow me up.” 

“Yeah, I don’t get that. Why not kill you normally?” It was the first time Gaige had bothered acknowledging Rhys since their first encounter–until now she’d just been giving him quick, suspicious looks. “You don’t look hard to kill.”

“Make it look like an accident, I guess? He didn’t want to martyr me. My whole division might have rebelled.”  It was a good question, now that he considered it. Maybe Vasquez’s traditional airlock method would get him in trouble unless he tore out all of Rhys’s cybernetics. Vasquez wasn’t patient enough for those surgical procedures. “I was speaking out against what Jack’s been doing here, on Pandora. And subtly influencing things, y’know? Di-diverting shipments, sabotaging production, stuff like that.” That sounded pretty good.

“Wow, that’s almost respectable. I mean, not as much as you know, not working for Hyperion in the first place, but good on you, I guess?” Gaige said. 

 “Hey, I had to make a living somehow, and I’m not exactly Dahl-soldier material.”

“You shoulda killed someone,” Salvador caught him by surprise from below his field of vision. The man was a little over five feet tall and nearly as wide–all of it muscle. Something about him was more intimidating than even Krieg. “I woulda killed someone. Preferably Jack.” 

“I uh, yeah, I guess I should have… To be fair, I didn’t get a chan–” 

He was interrupted by the Claptrap’s shrill cry. Up ahead, the bot was in its panic mode, its limbs retracted as it shuddered in simulated terror. A bullymong, near the same size as Salvador, was charging toward it. At least a dozen more were climbing out of burrows in the nearby ice wall.

The bandits had drawn their weapons before Rhys processed what was happening. Backing away, he glimpsed Zer0, appearing in the first bullymong’s path. Salvador wielded a pair of guns, laughing and firing both with little regard for Krieg, who ran straight through the line of fire without slowing. 

“Ah! The meat delivery is here!” Krieg shouted, swinging his buzzaxe into the nearest foe.  

Rhys didn’t see where Gaige or Axton had gone to, nor did he know how everyone got so far from him so fast, but he found himself alone in the open. 

One of the bullymongs, repelled by Salvador’s gunfire, chose him as an easier target. Remembering the stun rod, he yanked it from his belt, barely managing to activate it before the creature reached him. He jabbed at it, unleashing a jolt of electricity into its shoulder. It let out a pained roar, but didn’t let up. It began to circle him from a distance, testing for an opening. Turning, he kept the stun rod between him and the bullymong. It stepped forward, he jabbed in its direction, it backed away, then tried again. Rhys was feeling good about this, he’d just keep it up until–

Something crashed into him from behind, knocking him face-first into the snow. A second bullymong. It stood on his back, one oversized hand clamped around his arm, another pushed his head down. He turned the stun rod in his hand and jabbed backward. Empty air. The creature roared. Rhys felt its breath on his scalp, saliva dribbling into his hair. 

Oh shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shitshitshitshitshit–

All at once, the weight lifted from him. He rolled over in time to see the bullymong floating above him, surrounded by a strange energy. Then Krieg drove his buzzaxe into it, spattering both himself and Rhys in hot gore. The bullymong’s limp body was thrown off to the side. 

Sitting up and looking around, he saw the other bullymong lying already dead in front of him, Maya standing over it. Her tattoos seemed to glow. Elsewhere the gunfire had ceased, the fighting had finished. 

He shakily got to his feet, heart still pounding. “You gonna be alright?” Maya asked. The glow had already faded.  

He gave a weak nod, forcing a smile. “Yeah, yeah, I’m great. I’m just… I’m great.” He thought he might throw up, but he’d try to hold off on that for now. Nothing felt broken, at least. He wiped his face on his sleeve and brushed loose snow from his clothes. Some of it had melted into the fabric when he’d fallen, and some of that had already frozen again. Hopefully, they’d find somewhere warm soon.

“Ah! Sweet treats from the flesh pinata!” Krieg was absolutely riddled with bullet holes, but he gave Rhys the happiest look a single visible eye could muster. 

“Is he gonna be okay?”

Maya looked Krieg up and down, a hand on her hip. “He doesn’t seem to be dying anytime soon. How you feeling, big guy?” 

“Ten thousand decapitations!”

“Sounds good to me.” 

“Looks like we walked right into a nest,” he heard Axton say. “I’m like, ninety percent sure these are human bones…Oh yeah, that’s definitely someone’s skull.” 

There were little scattered piles of bullymong refuse, mostly bones, sometimes a bit of fur. Something shiny and yellow gleamed in a nearby pile. A halfway-decent Hyperion pistol. Exactly what Rhys needed–next time he could defend himself. 

He approached, only to have Zer0 once again materialize in front of him. They bent over, picked up the gun, and turned it in their hands with a “Hmm…” Their helm projected an ellipses. 

“Hey uh, can I have that? I’m feeling a little vulnerable here, with just this.” He raised the deactivated stun rod. 

“You know how to shoot?” they asked. 

“It’s Hyperion, it’s made so anyone can pick it up and shoot.” That was one of their advertising lines, at least. It didn’t seem that hard to figure out. “It’s as good a time as any to learn, right?” 

They looked at him and back at the gun. “Next time, you should move faster.” The pistol evaporated into particles as they deconstructed it into their storage deck. A slashed zero projected from their helmet. “If you live that long.” They turned away, leaving Rhys scrambling for an insult he couldn’t find. “Oh, come on!” he shouted after them. “You didn’t even want that!” 

———

Somehow, Rhys survived the rest of the day’s trek. The group encountered two smaller packs of bullymongs before it ended. Absurdly, the value of Rhys’s life seemed to be a rung lower than the Claptrap’s, but if he stayed close to the bot he was equally protected.The tactic struck him as pathetic when everyone else was more than capable of defending themselves. Worse, it gave the Claptrap the opportunity to bother him, and that stupid little bot had exceptional hearing. 

“Wimping out, eh? Don’t feel too bad, chum, we all gotta start somewhere! Except me, I was built with the courage of ten men! But as for you, I’m sure you’ll find your courage if you don’t die horribly. Which probably won’t happen–or wait, what temperature do humans freeze to death at? Ah, well, nothing you can do if that happens. I guess you also have to worry about all the bullets, and the…” 

Rhys fought the temptation to try his ECHOeye on the thing, see if he could mute it. Who knew what malware a defunct idiot robot had on it? At least the blindness allowed him to sneak away as soon as the danger subsided. It made him wonder why they were even bothering to hunt down the thing’s eye. Was a blind Claptrap so bad? Besides the being-a-Claptrap part? 

When they stopped for the night to make camp, Zer0 rejoined the group. 

“I’ve spotted its tracks. / It has passed through recently. / We’ll need to keep watch.” 

“You wanna give us any specific details, or do ya gotta stick to seventeen syllables?” Axton asked. “Like, you know, where’s it headed, how long ago, that kind of thing?” 

They gave him a look that seemed meant as a glare before sitting near the fire. “Is there food?” they more demanded than asked. 

“Salvador’s working on it,” Gaige said. 

Dinner was to be the meaty arms of a bullymong that Krieg had buzzsawed off. It didn’t look edible, but both Krieg and Salvador insisted it was good. Or, in the former’s case, that it “Hole punches your bloodied tongue!” said with the kind of enthusiasm that made it sound positive.The latter was cooking one of the limbs over the fire. It smelled like pork with a trace of burnt plastic. Rhys hadn’t eaten for the better part of two days. He was hungry enough to risk…toxins, or whatever.

When it was cooked, though, he found himself almost equally concerned with watching Zer0 as he was with chewing the tough, strange meat. He wasn’t alone in this, he realized. Everyone but Krieg and the Claptrap were snatching glances, apparently wondering if they’d see what was underneath the helmet. But Zer0 only walked away with their portion, vanishing behind a jagged chunk of ice. 

“Anyone up to following them?” Axton asked. 

“I suspect they’re the type to kill you if you see their face,” Maya gave a shrug, her attention returning to her meal. 

“The curiosity is gonna kill me on its own. I mean, what if they’re a robot or something, and we’re wasting food?” 

“They were bleeding, before,” Rhys put in. “After the train blew up.”  

“Puncture the skinsuit! Make it pop!” Krieg was shoving bits of meat up through the bottom of his mask, also denying the others a view of his face. He was at least clearly human, mutated as he may be. 

“Eh. Probably just super ugly,” Salvador said through a mouth full of bullymong. 

———

Rhys was spared from keeping watch that night. Maybe there was something to being a weak Hyperion stooge, it meant a few hours’ extra rest. 

It was still dark when he woke shivering. Somewhere, something howled raucously. He sat up, looking around. Thankfully, the Claptrap was in sleep-mode, and the others were asleep. Except for Zer0. They stopped pacing the camp to look at him. He gave them a slight wave. They went back to pacing without so much as a second glance. They reminded Rhys of a big cat at a zoo, waiting to be fed. 

His ECHOeye told him it was 12:22 AM. Zer0 should have ended their watch and woken Maya hours ago. He hadn’t seen them sleep at all.  

“Are those more bullymong?” he asked when Zer0 was near again. “They sound really close.” 

They stopped, gave a nod. He noticed they were shivering. They were so lanky, even compared to him. How well insulated from the cold could they possibly be? He’d feel bad for them if they hadn’t been such an asshole. 

“Should we be worried?” “I never worry. / If they venture near enough, / My blade will find them.” 

“Right...” Geez, edgelord much?

They cocked their head, thoughtfully. “Though, perhaps you should. / If you fall a second time. / You may not be saved.” 

“You could have let me have the gun.” “I could have.”  

He lay back down. “Your watch is up, you know?” Rhys had years of experience dealing with assholes, he’d learned to be professional about this sort of thing. 

“Yes.” 

“You should probably sleep, right?” 

“I need little sleep. / The others will miss something. / I will stay awake.” 

That seemed slightly insulting to the other’s abilities, but at least Zer0 wasn’t only a condescending dick to Rhys. He considered pointing out their place on Axton’s “Most likely to kill us in our sleep” list, but thought better of it. Might give them ideas. 

[raccoon-macaroon]

The Watchman of the Underworld: A Deep Dive into Book 6

WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR BOOK 6, OBVIOUSLY.

Your girl finally beat Book 6, and it was totally crazy! I had to read it a couple of times to try to piece together some more ambiguous parts of the story, mainly about Ortho. After letting it simmer in my brain for a while, I'd like to give my interpretation of the story with references from the game; maybe this can help other players make sense of the story. My interpretation is by no means the end all be all, and I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Note: For the purposes of this deep dive, I will be referring to the original, human brother of Idia as OG Ortho. The humanoid robot Idia created and modeled after his brother will be referred to as Robo Ortho.

First, the catalyst of the series of events: Why did Ortho go rogue and shut down the Cerberus security system?

Initially, I thought it was OG Ortho who encouraged Robo Ortho to shut down Cerberus; then later, I thought it must have been a phantom impersonating him, because OG Ortho wouldn't do something so bad, would he? After that, I realized it WAS OG Ortho who was encouraging Robo Ortho to shut down Cerberus and release the phantoms.

But why would sweet OG Ortho do such a thing?

First and foremost, in OG Ortho's mind, he is doing this to help his brother. Idia is essentially heir to a kingdom of death, unable to choose any other path in life but running Styx and the Underworld. (I also think the Shrouds and the Underworld may have a symbiotic relationship; the Shrouds need blot to burn, in theory, or their curse will start eating away at their own bodies. The Shrouds need to live in the underworld; they are bound to it. I think Idia can attend school away from the Underworld because he is using magic and producing blot, which he can then burn. Plus, blot is composed of negative emotions, which our gloomy boy has plenty of. But I digress) When Robo Ortho begins considered ways to alter Idia's fate after hearing Vil's words about change and not wanting things to stay the status quo, OG Ortho seizes this opportunity to coerce Robo Ortho into shutting down Cerberus, which will cause the phantoms to be set free, the rest of humanity to be turned into phantoms, and for Idia to be able to live whatever kind of life he chooses, as the world will be "reset."

I believe that the voice that Robo Ortho hears IS the OG Ortho, because the voice says, "I've been here long before you were born" (or created).

Robo Ortho, upon hearing the voice say "Idy" (Nii-chan, in Japanese), says, "Wait, is it you?!" as if he is recognizing this voice. Who else could this be but OG Ortho? In the aftermath of the battle, when Idia is rebooting Robo Ortho, Ortho says "I thought both the original Ortho and I got swallowed by the Underworld..." This confirms that the voice was, in fact, OG Ortho.

So what IS OG Ortho?

I believe this is intentionally ambiguous, but I have a few theories. OG Ortho was killed by the phantom, and became a spirit locked within Tartarus. Another theory is that OG Ortho himself became a phantom banished to Tartarus. That would make sense, because a young boy brutally murdered would probably have a lot of negative emotions and produce a lot blot upon his death, possibly turning him into a phantom. This would also explain the seemingly sinister nature of OG Ortho coercing Robo Ortho. Either way, OG Ortho is a dead entity locked in Tartarus.

So who's doing this? Robo Ortho or OG Ortho?

Both.

After shutting down Cerberus, Ortho(?) appears to Idia in a hologram communication. After explaining the plan to Idia, he writes it off as a bug, until Ortho(?) calls him "Idy". This is a name that ONLY OG Ortho ever called Idia; Robo Idia seemingly never called him by that name (In Japanese, Nii-chan vs. Nii-san, the first being less formal and more familiar).

As soon as Idia hears this, he knows that this is OG Ortho, communicating through Robo Ortho's robotic body. Despite "knowing what happened to Ortho that day", Idia realizes that the only ones who can shut down the Cerberus System are people with the Shroud family DNA. Earlier in the chapter Idia explicitly states that Robo Ortho does not have the clearance or permissions to shut down Cerberus, and he certainly doesn't have any DNA. This confirms to Idia that the person speaking to him is indeed OG Ortho. Idia, overcome by emotion of hearing the voice of his dead brother, rushes to the underworld gate and overblots.

Well, why didn't OG Ortho just open the Underworld gate and climb out right after he died??

He didn't have the means to. He needed a physical helper, in this case, Robo Ortho. I believe that OG Ortho seized on the opportunity to easily influence Robo Ortho, as he was focused on how to change the future for Idia.

So what happens to the Orthos in the end?

Both Orthos seem to be swallowed up into a Hades-shaped phantom seen in the boss battle against Idia. Once they are defeated, the big phantom containing both Orthos plunges back into Tartarus, with Vil being unable to save him, probably due to his massive size.

Luckily, Robo Ortho is able to be revived due to Grim eating his memory card. Grim probably wanted to eat the black stone that appears after someone overblots; in this case, instead of a black stone, it was a memory card, due to Robo Ortho being a Robotic being.

So what about OG Ortho?

Initially, I thought the Ortho seen in Idia's memory telling him it's not time for him to join him yet, is Robo Ortho and a manifestation of his "spirit" as he "dies" and his memory card falls into the underworld. I realized that this is incorrect, and this is in fact, OG Ortho. I know this for two reasons: First, this Ortho calls Idia "Idy". Whenever this nickname is used, we know that it is OG Ortho, as he uses it exclusively. Secondly, this is the only time in the game (so far) that we see Ortho's entire face at once, both his eyes and his mouth. I believe this is to symbolize that this IS the OG Ortho; Robo Ortho always appears with either his eyes or mouth covered, as if to suggest that he is not "completely" Ortho.

So why does OG Ortho in the flashback have Robo Ortho's robot body?

During the end of this chapter, it is implied that OG Ortho had taken over Robo Ortho's body, or that they were at least sharing a body, so it makes sense for him to appear in this form (also, I imagine the developers did not want to have to create a whole 2D Live model for OG Ortho for one scene; showing his whole face was enough to communicate which Ortho he was).

So who is the current Ortho?

After replacing his memory card, Robo Ortho is restored. He awakes and states "How am I here? I thought both the original Ortho and I got swallowed by the Underworld..." (again reinforcing that the OG Ortho had fused with Robo Ortho in the big phantom).

Idia explains that he replaced his memory card, to which Robo Ortho replies "In that case, I wonder if the original Ortho..." This is meant to be ambiguous, and is ambiguous in the original Japanese as well, where Ortho says something like "In that case, that person..."

Robo Ortho then states that the area around his memory card feels warm. He states "I feel it. Ortho is right here."

I believe he is referring to the memories left by OG Ortho. Idia doesn't seem to catch on to this, and writes it off as an irreparable bug that gives Robo Ortho his own will, and that he "has a heart now" possibly due to the electric shocks from the thunder spear. But we know that Robo Ortho now has a heart due to fact that he and OG Ortho had, for a time, become one being, sharing thoughts, feelings, and memories, as Robo Ortho explicitly states, "The memories and feelings Ortho left me all reside withing my core. I am Ortho, and Ortho is me."

Robo Ortho is now, effectively, a “perfectly programmed” Ortho, having all of OG Ortho’s original thoughts, feelings, and memories. Robo Ortho is more or less a carbon copy of OG Ortho now, rather than just an AI modeled after him (plus Robo Ortho’s own experiences). Any oversights on Idia’s part of coding him to be like his brother have been overwritten; he is now nearly exactly like OG Ortho, having shared memories. Idia does not seem to truly grasp the gravity of Ortho's experience, and is more concerned with Robo Ortho's new free will.

So is Robo Ortho now the same as OG Ortho?

Almost. Outside of Robo Ortho’s own unique lived experiences, they share the same “base” which is OG Orthos thoughts, feelings, and memories.

(Initially I thought that OG Ortho and Robo Ortho had fused and become one being, and OG Ortho's "spirit" was now residing in Robo Ortho's body, but now I think that the shared memories, thoughts, and feelings shared between them essentially copied OG Ortho's "heart" into Robo Ortho. I believe OG Ortho now resides in the Underworld, awaiting the day when Idia will join him after he has lived a long and happy life.)

However, in the end, this does not particularly matter as Robo Ortho has been Idia's "real brother" for "a long time."

Maybe all of this was obvious to other readers, but it wasn't to me, so maybe this can help some other players as well. I hope my word vomit made some sort of sense.

I'd love to hear what you think in the comments, and if you agree or disagree with my analysis.

I'm hoping Book 7 will be this juicy and drama filled when it comes our way!

[full-tiltboogiearc]

ana's very specific unspecific wanted connections

not responsible for anything unhinged or half-baked that makes it on here

last updated: 12.15.2023

for set:

always looking for co-workers at the diner

would love to have a detective or some rookie cop that ends up on her "case" following this trail of random murders happening around town, but of course, they don't know it's been set all this time. bonus points if they constantly encounter each other, esp. at the diner (i feel like said detective could often parlay here)

for chiharu:

a sponsor who helped chiharu through her most recent stay at rehab. i'd like for this to stay platonic since there's power imbalance here

but you know where there could b great potential for romance? a friend that chiharu met while attending her recovery group sessions (that said, totally cool if this stays platonic too!)

for soleil:

a bad influence, always

someone she has a crush on but it's unrequited (i love depriving soleil of what she rly wants in life)

for kirk:

childhood best friend plz

give him a robot gf a la her (2013)

for eli:

someone he served in the military with

for ford:

would love someone who visits the farm maybe on a project?? for a summer, and they just kinda get to know each other and fall in love maybe. nbd

[dolphs-world]

Movies

Feeling a bit tired so I'm just going to write a bit about movies. I'll write some actual analysis on Television and internet trends that annoy me next week. Would also love to talk a little bit more about Shovel Knight. But for now, movies. Starship Troopers was so good that I remembered the protagonists name, Johnny Rico. Will have to rewatch Total Recall. Heat and Once Upon a Time in America were the best of those types of films and they were still only halfway decent. I really don't get why these movies and these types of movies are beloved. Walk Hard and The Producers are the funniest films I've seen in a while and both of their songs are beautiful. Not too long either. Didn't have much actual depth for those reviews but these next 3 I do. Saw the FNaF movie with friends. They really didn't like it. I'm starting to question their opinions when it comes to these movies. One of them also didn't like the Mario movie and it seemed to be because they expected too much out of it. I loved the Mario movie, it was surprisingly funny. But the FNaF movie. It was fine. It is going to be an incredibly dated movie but for some reason that didn't annoy me as much. I don't know why it was set in the year 2000 or why there was a court subplot or really what Vanny's motivations. She seemed really muddled. But it was cool seeing such noticeable practical effects. Honestly, I think the movie would have been better if it was even more family friendly. Get rid of the onscreen murders and that whole subplot anyways, it made Mike's fears of the robots more valid. To make him seem crazy they had to have him beat someone up. Should have just outright said that Matthew Lillard was William Afton, not try and play it up as a reveal. It was funny that they casted someone from Scooby Doo as even he could have figured out this mystery without Velma's help. But yeah, if you got rid of some of this stuff you could have cleaned up the characters a bit more, made Afton a threat. Play to the child audience you know you have. The only thing that annoyed me about the movie is the reaction. Low critic scores have caused fans to try and analyse every aspect as if this movie is high art. Or maybe they just genuinely believe that. I saw threads of people explaining how the babysitter didn't want to ruin Mike's life, which was obvious. They're acting like they're peeling back the layers to a deep movie. It's called understanding emotions. Brazil, Brazil, one of Doug Walker's favourite movies. I didn't like it. I liked the look. It's crazy how people act as if the dystopia is the real world as opposed to the scenes where he was a birdman and escaped with Jill. But yeah, actually made me appreciate 1984 more. At least I understand what he thinks he's fighting against in that movie, and the last third of that book is great. You actually get to see the torture! (I felt like Zach Snyder writing that line. I get the importance and messaging of the book. I get why the characters like each other, although talk at each other as opposed to to each other, and the importance of them meeting up again later in life). But Brazil. It just didn't work. It didn't really blend reality and dreams well to make the ending a twist. You know that it's in his head. It doesn't make sense that Jill likes him back. Ian Holm's character was kind of pointless. I don't know. I don't know how to explain. I've been thinking about this film on and off again and all I can say is read 1984 and A Brave New World instead. Although I don't like 1984, only the last third is good, the second is a slog, you understand it's importance. And A Brave New World is actually good. Brazil was not.

[finnm]

Minerva. could've been a direct parallel to Princess Bubblegum where the people of the islands are grateful because she helps them but are also freaked out because she's totally overbearing and they're afraid of speaking out against her since she's prone to digitizing people (which, does happen in the show but it's only a small part of one episode?? They could've expanded on it). Maybe there's a group of people living on some of the abandoned islands, who moved there after the plague had subsided.

If we switch around the order of episodes we could have something like: Finn + company gets to Founders' Island to find that everyone is robots! They escape his mother trying to upload their brains to the internet to one of the other islands, maybe Better Reality Island, where there ARE living humans but they're still living in VR. Next one could be Back-to-Nature island, where he meets Alva. Maybe there's a couple other people on that island but because of the inclement weather (and maybe not wanting to fix the tech since it might alert Minerva), they're separated from eachother. Then he goes over to Hub Island where there's finally actual humans living and working together. They DO have some technology, but they've been focusing on things like agriculture, fishing and healthcare more than in other areas. The islands' equivalent of google/alexa smart devices are straight up banned. They kind of want to expand to Founders and Back-to-Nature-- Hub Island is big but it's not that big-- but they don't want to mess with Minerva either AND they'd have to get past the guardian, which is under her control.

Not... entirely sure where it'd go next... Finn + the other humans discuss how they're going to deal with Minerva. There's probably people who suggest murder as an option but the actual outcome probably depends on how stubborn or easy to talk down Minnie is. Idk about what all the robot people are going to do...

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC is Half Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar

(Underground Tomb edition!)

Hello friends and degenerate sinners, this is basically a mini headcanon set for Luci’s kid!MC about how the incident with Luke and the Grimoire would go down in this AU to tide you all over until Part 3 comes out! Enjoy!

It was a normal night in the good ol’ HOL... Lucifer was doing paperwork at an ungodly hour of the night, Beel was in the kitchen, and Mammon was screaming and running for dear life. Ah... sweet normalcy.

The custard incident remained the same, MC got force-fed custard and Beel threw a truly fantastic hunger tantrum that culminated in the wall connecting to MC’s room collapsing.

Cue lecture from Luci-father.

“I am very disappointed in you three.” Lucifer rubbed his temples as MC, Beel, and Mammon awkwardly stood in his room. Mammon of course, was trying to avoid the death glares MC was giving him. Poor bastard.

“Especially you two, MC and Beel.”

“Whuh?!” Mammon sputtered. “What about me?!”

“I expect this from you. These two on the other hand,” Lucifer raised an eyebrow at MC who was awkwardly trying to suppress a laugh at Mammon’s aghast expression. “Should know not to act like this.”

“We’re *snrk* sorry, father,” MC paused to try and muscle through a giggle. “It won’t happen again.”

“He ate my custard...” Beel pouted.

“So, MC won’t be able to use their room anymore due to the wall... collapsing.” Lucifer gave Beel a pointed glare.

Mammon smirked, and if he were sitting on a couch, we would have leaned back and kicked his feet up. “Well, obviously since I’m a kind and generous soul I’ll open up my room for poor MC to stay in. My babysittin’ rates are quite high though-”

“BABYSITTING?!” MC snarled, giving Mammon a death glare that could probably kill lesser demons.

Lucifer felt a twinge of pride upon seeing his child give someone his signature bone-chilling glare, if he weren’t supposed to be disappointed he would have given MC a pat on the head and let them hang Mammon from the ceiling.

“Uh- heh- MC, I’m your favourite uncle! Me babysittin’ ya should be an honour!” Mammon was sweating bullets and desperately looking to Beel for help.

“Levi is rapidly approaching favourite uncle status.” MC crossed their arms and huffed.

“Levi?! Wait- does that mean I was your favourite-”

Lucifer was almost tempted to stick MC in Mammon’s room just to have MC punish Mammon so he could get some sleep, tragically, his common sense won out. “MC will be staying with Beel. He has an extra bed in his room after all.”

MC looked over at Beel and smiled. “Could be worse, right? I’ll replace the custard.”

Beel’s smile upon hearing the last part could have lit up the entire Devildom. What a sweetie.

MC still chilled in Beel’s room. They finally got to ask more questions about Belphie, and Beel is more inclined to share what’s up because MC is his big bro’s kid after all!

Because of MC’s half demon-ness, they hadn’t met Belphie at that point in the story unlike in canon. They were just curious about their missing uncle. They ALSO already knew what Belphie looks like because Lucifer gave them an in depth tour of everything and he pointed out all the portraits.

MC, being the sadistic sweetheart they are, went out and bought themselves and Beel replacement custard. MC made sure to eat it right in front of Mammon.

But my oh my, who was texting them? *gasp!* Luke!

MC obviously let their little angel buddy into the house (Luke did not know about MC’s parental situation at that point, keep that in mind). Luke was fun to tease a little after all! And it was nice to have another kid around, but MC would never admit it.

Since MC had literally no reason to be afraid of their dear old dad, they went right up to him and asked him if Luke could stay over. No fear.

“Father?” MC leaned on the doorway to the backyard, Lucifer was playing fetch with Cerberus. MC had never seen someone play fetch so robotically.

“Yes, MC?” Cerberus’ middle head dropped a slobber covered squeaky toy into Lucifer’s gloved hand, the other two heads snapped at the middle one.

“Can I have a friend over?” MC asked, trotting over to give Cerberus some pets. On the first day the dog had tried to eat them, but after giving him some much tastier bacon treats, Cerberus was sweet as pie. Murderous and dangerous pie, that is.

“Do I know this friend?”

“Yes, it’s Luke. Can he stay over?”

Lucifer wrinkled his nose and rolled his eyes. “Cerberus is right here, you have access to a dog. Why on earth would you bring the chihuahua over?”

MC snorted and gave Cerberus’ right head some scratches behind the ears. “He’s not a chihuahua all the time, come on, it’s for the good of the exchange program!”

The two had a stare down for a little while, and to his absolute horror, Lucifer felt his resolve cracking. This child of his was too adorable for their own good. “Fine, MC.”

“Yes!” MC fist pumped as Cerberus’ middle and left heads tried to join in on the ear scritches.

“But note,” Lucifer continued. “I expect a full report to give to Lord Diavolo on this whole experience.”

MC frowned and debated sticking their tongue out at their father, they decided against it. “A paper? On a sleepover? Really?”

“Yes. Really.” Lucifer gave MC a flick on the nose. “Like you said, it has to do with the exchange program. Now go make sure the chihuahua doesn’t die and leave you with a mess to clean up.”

The look of complete terror Luke gave MC when they told him that Lucifer said he could stay over was completely worth the paper they were going to have to write.

“What?! You weren’t supposed to tell him I’m here!”

“He said you could stay.”

“Why?! Oh no... did he demand your soul as payment or something?! MC! You shouldn’t have put yourself in that nasty demon’s debt! Don’t worry, I’ll get your soul back somehow.”

MC should have been offended... but they weren’t. I mean, could you stay mad at Luke when he just offered to fight arguably the second most powerful demon in the Devildom to get your soul back?

Now that Luke’s presence in the house was known to everyone, the challenge was no longer keeping Luke hidden, it was making sure Luke didn’t say anything that would get him killed and making sure none of the demon bros made Luke cry.

Mammon was the main culprit of the teasing because Lucifer actually had better things to do. And he had a (totally not a) date with Diavolo so he’d be back late and wouldn’t be home to tease the chihuahua.

Mammon’s status as favourite uncle was hanging by a thread by the end of the first day.

Asmo thought Luke was positively adorable and also very annoying. He offered to paint MC and Luke’s nails. Luke declined, but MC was all for it. (Their cuticles were a MESS by the way, they needed the manicure.)

Luke’s nails were painted gold to match the gold on his outfit! Asmo was quite proud of his work, and was very offended when he was not allowed to try and braid Luke’s hair.

“It looks so soft!”

“You’re not allowed to touch my hair, demon!”

Satan still disliked MC on the basis that they were just a mini-Lucifer and hung out in his room or the library to avoid them and Luke.

It was incredibly annoying when Luke and MC burst into the library to look for cookbooks and treat recipes after Luke told MC about his baking endeavours. Satan debated ordering a pair of ear plugs on Akuzon...

Or perhaps a laser gun...

Both would make him stop hearing the children’s grating voices.

“You two, be quiet.”

“We haven’t spoken since we got in here...”

“You’re breathing too loud.”

Beel remained the only brother who was actually decent to Luke, they all played Go Fish in Beel’s room.

Levi was in his room playing his new video game just like in canon, but he could hear Luke and MC running around outside his room.

He was fully prepared to do that introvert thing where you stay in your room until you hear someone say goodbye to the guest.

Levi’s eyes were glued to his computer screen, just eight more skeleton monsters to kill and he’d get the achievement! His attention crumbled the moment he heard the dreaded sound of...

Guests...

“Hey MC! Whose room is this?”

The sound of a door opening and closing down the hall caused Levi to jump in his seat. Oh no... his worst fears were realized! There was another person in the house!

“That’s Asmodeus’ room. Luke you shouldn’t go around opening everyone’s doors-”

The sound of another door opening and shutting made Levi pause his game and look at Henry 2.0 for help. Maybe if he jumped into the tank and wrapped himself in his tail he’d camouflage into his surroundings...

BAM!

AAAAA! Not enough time! The guest was drawing nearer... he was going to have to... *barf*... SOCIALIZE!

“How about this room?”

Levi braced himself for the incoming social contact... Fs in the chat everyone...

“We shouldn’t bother Levi, let’s do something else.”

HAJEKDJSJSJSJD- BEEL! BEEL JUST SAVED LEVI’S LIFE!

The poor third born slumped back in his seat, the awfulness of socialization avoided. He uh... hadn’t actually left his room in maybe three days... maybe he should actually go outside... enjoy the nonexistent sunlight, y’know?

...nah. Levi went back to his game.

Since the kitchen was broken, Beel, MC, and Luke went out and get AkuDonald’s. They were all out of the toy that Luke and MC wanted so that trip was a disaster! A disaster I say!

Just the image of Beel happily chomping on his eighth burger while Luke and MC angrily pick at their fries makes me want to laugh.

Now the question you’re all waiting for, did Lucifer try and kill Luke and Beel and then MC for trying to take the Grimoire?

N O

“Whose room is behind that door?” Luke pointed to the door to the attic staircase.

MC shrugged and hit their knuckles against the door a few times. “It’s just the door to the attic. My uh- Lucifer said not to go up there because it’s just full of old junk.”

Normally MC would scoff at the idea of being told what not to do and do it out of spite, but MC was a child, and like most children, they hated scary attics. They hadn’t even attempted to open the door in the month they had lived in the house.

“Hm, maybe he’s hiding something...” Luke puffed out his cheeks and knocked on the door. When met with no answer, Luke turned the doorknob. The door creaked open, and the two peeked inside.

A tall spiral staircase greeted them as they tentatively stepped inside. Not so-good Lord, the room was freezing, but it didn’t seem to bother Luke as he walked further into the room.

“What do you think’s up there?” Luke asked, craning his neck to try and get a look at what could be at the top of the stairs.

MC shuddered and crossed their arms. “Like Lucifer said, junk. Nothing important.”

There was a tingling feeling at the base of MC’s neck, their hand flew to the spot only to find nothing, but the uneasiness didn’t cease. Something was very... very off. A shudder creeped up their spine as Luke stepped closer to the staircase.

“Come on,” Luke tutted, placing a hand on the railing. “Demons are known liars!”

Luke was quite difficult to be friends with sometimes, MC had to admit.

With every step Luke took up the stairs, the sense of dread brewing in MC’s gut grew, but they remained rooted to the spot, it was almost like something was physically stopping them from getting closer to those stairs.

Luke stopped on the sixth step and craned his neck to look up again. “Hello?” He called out.

His little voice echoed up the staircase, he was met with no reply for a moment, until a massive shudder wracked both his and MC’s spines.

“Hello.” A voice replied.

Quick as lightning MC dove forward, taking three steps up the stairs despite what felt like electric shocks stabbing into their skin, and yanked Luke back down the stairs and out the door, closing it behind them. MC heard a lazy, carefree chuckle reverberate through their head, and a message that only MC could hear.

“Leaving so soon, Lucifer?”

...

Spooky right?

Anyway- back to Luke and MC being idiots together.

They headed back to Beel’s room to watch some Devildom kid shows, I assume Tom and Jerry just played on repeat.

Luke explained the reason he ran away from Purgatory Hall, and MC legitimately debated whether or not they should throw Luke out of the nearest window for all the jabs he was taking at demons.

“Simeon was going to go out for tea with Diavolo! He even said that I could ask Barbatos to instruct me on the finer points of baking!”

“What’s so bad about that?”

“They’re demons, MC! Simeon and I are angels from the Celestial Realm! We shouldn’t be consorting with demons.”

Once again, bless Beel and his lack of murderous rage when it came to anything other than food.

“MC, Lucifer would be upset if you broke a window.”

“What’s he talking about?”

“Nothing Luke, nothing you need to worry about.”

Don’t worry, no angels were harmed during the visit.

On day two of the extended sleepover, Luke and MC decided to go running around the house again.

“And this is the basement.” MC put their hands on their hips and kissed their teeth as they looked around the Underground tomb. “Perfectly creepy.”

Luke shuddered. “Is this house nothing but one creepy room after another..?”

MC smiled and stuck out their tongue. Their fear of the attic did not extend to the underground tomb. Not that they were actually afraid of the attic or anything...

“Why? You scared some big monster is gonna getcha?” MC teased.

“No!” Luke gasped. “I’m not scared!”

MC began to walk backwards into the darker depths of the tomb, their teasing tone echoing off of the walls. “Then come on! Don’t be chicken!”

Luke looked back and forth from the door out of there, to the rapidly disappearing figure of MC, he rushed after MC.

“I’m not scared of some dark basement.” Luke huffed.

“Why not~?” MC snickered. “There could be ghosts down here... tortured souls of those who were damned to Hell for all eternity~!”

MC swiped Luke’s hat and placed it on their head, Luke jumped at the sudden contact and began to try and get the hat back from MC.

“Stop trying to scare me!” Luke yapped, MC laughed and began to jog deeper into the tomb.

“Maybe there’s a monster that eats chihuahuas down here too! Who knows!” MC twirled the hat with their fingers and ran a little faster when Luke ran after them.

“I AM NOT A CHIHUAHUA!”

Sure, maybe it wasn’t the best course of action to tease and scare one’s friend instead of telling them what they said earlier was mean, but MC wasn’t the best at decision making.

When MC reached a dead end, they stopped and looked around, Luke crashed right into them. He managed to swipe his hat back from a now disinterested MC.

MC’s gaze landed on a book being held up by a statue, they padded over and looked up at it.

“Luke, do you know what that is?” MC asked, turning to look at their now very miffed friend.

“The... book? I don’t know.”

Truthfully, MC didn’t know either. During their first tour of the house, Mammon had interrupted the Underground tomb segment and Lucifer had to cut the tour short.

“It’s uh...” MC pursed their lips and tried to think of a convincing lie. “A spell book. Lucifer told me that it makes your magic really really strong, so he stuck it down here to hide it from Solomon.”

“Did I now?”

MC and Luke screamed and whirled around, there stood Lucifer himself, not looking terribly pleased with the two of them.

“MC, care to explain why you and the angel are so close to the Grimoire?” Lucifer’s words were icily calm, and MC knew that meant if they didn’t come up with a good explanation they’d be in big trouble.

“W-we were just playing down here...” MC trailed off, looking to Luke for some kind of backup before realizing what a stupid idea that was.

“Y-yeah! We were just-”

Lucifer stuck his thumb over his shoulder and glowered at the two. “Out.”

“Yes sir.” Luke and MC mumbled as they stepped away from the Grimoire, Lucifer relaxed slightly as the two walked past him and down the hall.

When the two got back up to Beel’s room, Luke suddenly gasped and turned to MC.

“You said it was a spell book!”

After that, MC got the feeling that Luke was no longer welcome in the house. What was the big deal about almost touching the Grimoire anyway? It could only override pacts and control demons-

Oh.

Balls.

Simeon got called to pick up Luke and before the two of them left MC assured Luke that he could come over and hang out anytime as long as he texted first.

Beel said Luke could come over and bake when the kitchen was fixed, poor Beel would have to do without Luke’s baked goods for a little while longer.

MC rested their chin on the coffee table they were kneeling in front of, stewing in annoyance. Their unfinished homework was practically mocking them, but the Demonology textbook was not what had them in their funk.

“MC, do your homework.” Lucifer said from the living room couch, he was comparing his phone to notes in a binder that was placed on his lap.

A grunt from MC caused him to raise an eyebrow. Their grasp on demonic language had improved, but Lucifer did not approve of them using their new skill to sass him.

“MC.” Lucifer chided, MC turned to look at him with a deadpan expression. “If there’s something wrong, either tell me, or do your work without complaining.”

MC turned back to their homework and tapped their pencil against the textbook, before puffing out their cheek and turning back to Lucifer.

“What’s in the attic?”

For the briefest of moments, Lucifer froze, he forcibly relaxed and went back to his work.

“Junk.” Lucifer replied. “Did you try and go up there?”

MC shook their head. “No, I went into the staircase room, but not up the stairs.”

Lucifer’s eyes flashed, he then took a deep breath and looked at MC. “Good, there’s nothing of interest up there anyway. If you did go up there you might break something or hurt yourself.”

“Okay.” MC sighed, trying to push the voice from the attic out of their mind. “What about the Grimoire? Why is it down in the tomb?”

Lucifer could feel his patience growing thinner and thinner with every question. “So it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.”

“Why not just destroy it?” MC asked, their question wasn’t meant to be taken as an insult or be malicious, it was just legitimate curiosity. “Wouldn’t that be safer?”

The first born hesitated before he answered. He looked over MC, before shaking his head. “...I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

MC’s eyes narrowed, but they went back to their work all the same. It would be about ten minutes of quiet before MC spoke up again.

“When Belphegor gets back from the human world, you’re going to have a lot of explaining to do, huh?”

Lucifer’s eyes snapped up to look at MC, who still had their back turned to him as they scribbled notes from the textbook. His grip on his DDD tightened as he replied.

“Why do you say that, MC?”

MC didn’t seem to register their father’s clipped tone, and shrugged. “Beel said that he isn’t answering his texts or calls, and when he sent up a letter Belphegor didn’t respond to that either.”

“The life of an exchange student is a busy one, as you can see.” Lucifer forcibly injected his last bit of remaining calmness into his words as he gestured at MC’s homework. MC laughed at that.

“Yeah well, I still make time to call my friends and ren back up in the human world.” MC giggled. “And I’m sure those text notifications about his older brother discovering that he has a child would make him pick up the phone.”

“Belphegor might have a much larger workload.” Lucifer retorted, trying to keep himself from snapping at MC.

“But still, you’d think he’d call his-”

“MC-” Lucifer snarled, MC whirled around, the fear and shock in their eyes caused anything Lucifer was going to say to die in his throat.

The two stared at each other for a few seconds, before Lucifer took another deep breath and turned back to his work.

“Not right now, MC,” Lucifer whispered. “I’m working.”

...

To be continued...

[thebigoblin]

Sterek Fic Recs Part 3

[You can find the first two lists here: Fluffy Sterek Recs & Sterek Fic Recs. Also here's a special fic, check it out]

First off, thank you all for a 100 followers!! As of September 7, 2021 you've made me feel really, really good about my obsession with two oblivious idiots (with sprinkles of the hale pack and other fandoms), and this is my way of thanking you ♥️

If you're on PC, you can see that there is a page dedicated solely to fic recs, which caters to other ships & fandoms too. So don't feel left out if you're looking for something other than Sterek!

Without further ado, let's get to it then!

an awful curse

Isaac is asleep in a chair. The angle of his neck makes Derek wince in sympathy.

"Isaac," Derek says.

Isaac snaps awake immediately.

"You're-"

"Where's Stiles?"

"Stiles?" Isaac asks.

Jesus. It's not like they know more than one.

AU - Canon Divergence | 6.3k | By blinkiesays

Throw Away The Key

Stiles knew it was stupid to go to the hunters’ headquarters all by himself, so when he finds himself caught, he can really only blame himself.

It shouldn't surprise Stiles when the situation quickly goes from bad to worse as the hunters throw him to a feral werewolf waiting to tear him apart.

Sucks that it's Derek, though.

AU - Canon Divergence | 5.9k | By mommymuffin

Whatever Happened Last Night, Why Did Glitter Have to Be Involved?

Derek rolled out of bed in search of his phone - quickly finding it in the pair of jeans that had evidently been tossed aside haphazardly on the way to the bed. Seeing the pants sparked flashes of memories - wolfsbane-laced alcohol, loud music, multicolored lights.

Peter’s new supernatural-friendly club - the pack had gone to the opening night party.

He unlocked his phone and opened the pack group chat, which Erica had affectionately named ‘Moon Sluts’.

>>Derek: What the fuck happened last night

[or: Derek wakes up with three things on his mind: he feels like he was punched by a troll, his mate is missing, and there's glitter covering his bed. Oh, and the pack group chat is mildly helpful]

**

Prompt #159 - “Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.”

Crack Vibes | 1.2k | By ash_mcj

Good to Eat

So if Stiles married Derek Hale, he could become Jewish too? Perfect. It was settled. Stiles gleefully shoveled a forkful of cheesy shells into his mouth.

"Uh oh. I know that look.” Claudia shook her head.

"Don’t worry, Mom, ” Stiles said, reaching for his plastic Batman cup.

"I’ve got a plan.”

"Good luck, Derek Hale,” his mother muttered.

Rude.

AU - Childhood Friends | 1.7k | By Jmeelee

Murder Brows and Avoidance Tactics

Derek gets the wrong end of the stick.

Written for prompt: "You're jealous, aren't you?"

AU - Everybody Lives | 2k | By Dragonink13

Double Vision (only registered users can read this one)

"So what caused my hearing and sense of smell to dull?"

Deaton's brow furrowed, all amusement vanishing from his face. "What do you mean?"

Derek snapped, letting loose all of his anger and fear at the man before him. "I mean I can't hear your heartbeat or the cars down below or the birds in the attic! I can't smell the flowers in Mrs. Everett's apartment, I can't smell the rotting burger in the fridge that Isaac left in there a month ago, I can't smell or hear anything like I normally can!" Deaton mouth was pressed into a thin line. "Can you explain that?!"

 Tumblr Prompt: Derek jealous of himself.

AU - Everyone Lives | 6.1k | By Novkat21

Kiss?

Derek likes kissing Stiles, honestly he does. Until he doesn't.

Fluff | 3.6k | By clotpolesonly

Oblivious Misadventures, and Other Such Tales

Going to college was exciting and new, a chance for new friends and a fresh start, and the best part was, there was a supernatural fraternity on campus, meaning Scott finally had the freedom to be himself.

Then he met the resident human who came with a stalker alpha. What was the point of a supernatural fraternity if he still had to pretend to be human. And seriously, did Stiles ever fall asleep somewhere normal?

--

(aka - Five TImes Scott Found Derek and Stiles Sleeping, and the One Time He Didn't)

AU, Supernatural is real but not known by everyone, Alive Hale Family | 11.2k | By Little Spoon

Call Me (Cliché)

When the sheriff's sister ends up in a wheelchair for the duration of summer, Stiles' dreams of three months full of pack bonding, late-night video games and bro-time with Scott come crashing down. He's temporarily relocated to Redford, a three hour drive away, and he can already tell he won't be getting many visitors.

Sure the pack will forget about him while he's gone, Stiles is determined to make the most of his summer of isolation, training his body and mind - and his magic - so he can come back with a bang, and maybe catch a certain Sourwolf's eye.

Then Derek shows up at his window one night with a flimsy excuse about needing research done. Suddenly, his summer away is looking a whole lot more interesting.

AU - Canon Divergence | 84.6k | By Orphan_Account aka the author has dissociated themselves from the fic

Shiver

Stiles has really, really cold hands. Luckily, Derek knows just what to do about that.

Established Relationship | 1.7k | By canistakahari

Derek Hale's Possible Heart

An anon sent me a sterek prompt for Laura teasing Derek and Stiles joining in, then somehow sharing their feelings for each other in the mess of things.

AU - Canon Divergence | 4.3k | By loserchildhotpants

What's a Secret Identity?

Stiles sipped at a mug of coffee, absently watching the news play in the break room. Because of course a news station couldn't play anything other than its own content, even in the one part of the office that was supposed to be a safe space from work. His interview with Superman was making a rerun and Stiles glanced at Derek before commenting absently, “I’d totally let Superman fuck me.”

Derek, who had been in the middle of a swig of coffee, choked violently, “That’s not something I needed to know at nine in the morning, Stiles.”

Stiles raised an eyebrow. “What time would you prefer I tell you about all of the things I would let Superman do to my body?”

AU, Derek is Superman | 7k | By Chrystie, imabignerd and kate882

i see that you've come so far [just like them old stars]

But her big brother’s unwillingness to touch anyone, like he thinks he doesn’t deserve it isn’t the only thing she notices. She also notices how Stiles doesn’t touch him.

Everyone reaches for Derek in some form or another, but Stiles- Stiles is something different altogether because he reaches for Derek but he never makes contact.

He’ll be trying to shimmy past Derek and instead of putting a hand on his arm like most of them do, he’ll reach out with a hand and stop it scant centimeters away from Derek’s skin.

Or they’ll be walking alongside each other and Stiles will hover a hand on Derek’s lower back.

It’s both fascinating and tragic to watch, like NASA lost control of one of their robots and instead of it landing on the moon it’s fated to gravitate around it.

AU - Canon Divergence | 2.3k | By crossroadswrite

Déjà Vu

There’s a shop in Beacon Hills that no one knows anything about except that the mysterious proprietor, a witch in whispered circles, knows what you need before you do and that the things given are always just what you need.

Derek, lost after a breakup, heads into the shop to see if he can find something to help him forget his ex. The witch gives him a potion to drink, and when Derek wakes up, he finds he’s sixteen again and there’s a new student at his school, Stiles Stilinski.

Everything is familiar and yet not, and Derek finds he’s strangely drawn to Stiles in a way that is entirely supernatural.

AU, Supernatural is Real | 8.8k | By gremlins-came-and-got-me and StaciNadia

Start Small, Like Oak Trees

The months following Allison's death have passed Stiles by in a haze of monotony. He sleepwalks through days that seem to lose their color, an unwilling passenger in a body he no longer trusts. Eventually, he thinks, he'll just fade away. He isn't sure anyone would notice. Then, during a spur of the moment grocery run, he stumbles upon Derek Hale attempting to console a lost child, and for the first time in recent memory the world doesn't seem so awful.

He's not sure what he'd been expecting when he eventually convinces Derek to move into the Stilinski's spare bedroom, but a newfound passion for weeding and topsoil certainly isn't it.

AU - Canon Divergence | 24.2k | By SmallBirds

Undercover K9

As it usually goes, Derek acts before he thinks. This time he has a good reason, though-it's all Stiles' fault. Mostly.

Or, that time when Derek volunteered to spend all his spare time as a wolf with the Beacon Hills Sheriff's Office K9 Unit, just to protect Stiles' dumb ass.

Future Fic | 17.9k | By Cobrilee

Rose Colored Glasses

“Obviou—um, what? Derek?” Stiles managed. “What? You’re not colorblind. You’re colorblind?”

“Yes.” Derek said gruffly. “And?”

“And? What do you mean and? You can’t see colors?” Stiles demanded, thrown. “Does it—what kind is it? Red-green? Blue-yellow? Why doesn’t—oh my god, is this why your entire freaking wardrobe was completely black until like two years ago? Oh my god!”

“There’s nothing wrong with having a favorite color, Stiles.”

Established Relationship | 2.2k | By SassyStarboard

1,460 Days (gotta clean my slate)

Two years after Scott becomes Alpha and Derek gives it up for Cora, Stiles gets hurt during a fight and ends up in a coma for two weeks. According to the nurse, a guy has been visiting him every day and, as much as he wishes it were Derek, it sounds a lot like Scott. Except he and Scott aren't even friends anymore.

AU - Canon Divergence | 10k | By army_of_angels

This is it for now. Happy reading y'all! ♥️

[nightingaelic]

Fallout new vegas companions taking the courier's place in lonesome road (+ cut companions if that's cool with u) (thanks!!)

The problem with trying to adapt Lonesome Road to another character's experience is that so much of its story hinges on the courier's missing past and the former Frumentarius' struggle to make them understand what happened, why it caused a shockwave across multiple lives, locations and generations, and whether to avenge or let go of the harm that was unknowingly done to the Divide. So if you bring the companions into the mix instead of Courier Six, you either have a long-running story of mistaken identity (a hilarious concept, Ulysses being absolutely positive that the companion is the one who wrecked his dream home while they have no idea who this angry, verbose man is), or a drastically different history for the companions themselves. I say let's give that second option a shot, it seems fun and headcanon-y.

Arcade Gannon: While I don't think Arcade would be directly responsible for the destruction of the Divide, I think he would pale at hearing Ulysses' message searching for Enclave agents and would set out to confront the angry courier on behalf of his hidden family. The Enclave remnants are already hunted by the NCR and the Brotherhood of Steel, and the last thing they need is to be chased out of yet another home over something they didn't personally do. He'd accept ED-E's help wholeheartedly and consider turning back every time he ran into marked men or tunnelers, but his own resolve to save his loved ones would urge him to persevere. I think his determination would intrigue Ulysses, enough to engage the young research scientist in conversation if he arrived at the end of the road in one piece, and the courier might even let go of his vendetta if Arcade revealed that he was doing this out of the goodness of his heart rather than a sense of duty. Arcade would cancel the nuke launch, but would seriously consider blowing up the Legion.

Craig Boone: We know the NCR and Legion were fighting over the Divide before the ICBMs leveled the area. But what if that was by design, rather than by accident? Maybe Boone has more skeletons in his closet than just Bitter Springs, and he was part of a strike team that used old Enclave technology to surprise the Legion forces and seal off an access route, a decision based on math and made by men who had never met the people of Hopeville and Ashton that they sentenced to death. It's yet another weight on the sniper's conscience, and yet another debt he feels obligated to pay, so when Ulysses' call goes out, he answers. The usual dangers of the Divide wouldn't slow him down, but the turbulent weather would irritate him to no end. Upon arrival at the temple, Boone wouldn't mince words because he already knows he's guilty of the charge and he knows Ulysses used to walk for the Legion. If he survived the encounter, Boone would take the opportunity to rain the same destruction down on Caesar's troops.

Lily Bowen: There are about 119 years of Lily's life as a super mutant that are unaccounted-for, and we know she suffers from schizophrenia like many other nightkin. Perhaps it was Lily who discovered the Enclave package and unwittingly left it in the home of America's missiles: Perhaps it was Leo. I'm inclined to think it was Leo, who was probably searching for a cache of Stealth Boys in the old military installations across the desert, and who simply didn't care when a new hole in the earth opened up behind him. Lily, on the other hand, cares deeply, and would set out after Ulysses in the interest of making amends where she could. More so than any other companion, I think Lily would be disturbed by the tunnelers and would go out of her way to crush them wherever they popped up. The marked men would earn her sympathy and she would do her best to knock them out without killing them. After doing the same to Ulysses, Lily would cancel the launch and weep over the subsequent loss of ED-E. She would likely bring the little eyebot back to the Mojave and search for a way to fix it.

Raul Alfonso Tejada: We already know that Raul goes to extreme lengths to avenge the people he cares about, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to mix his backstory into the story of the Divide. Following the murder of Claudia in Tucson/Two Sun, Raul chased Dirty Dave and his brothers across Arizona and into the town of Ashton before killing them. Unbeknownst to him, Dirty Dave had a package with him that could speak to the nuclear missile silos hidden in the Divide, and the earth crumbled behind the vaquero as he made his way back home. Though he'd heard of the devastation, Raul didn't put two and two together until Ulysses sent out his summons, and because he didn't have anything planned that week, the old mechanic decided to answer the call. He would put up with Ulysses' messages like a good sport until he encountered the man in the temple, where he would refuse to fight until the two talked things out like civil people. I think Ulysses would be surprised at the revelation that the ghoul he had cast as a villain was following his own quest for vengeance and unaware of the package, and would come away somewhat amused by the situation. They would most likely team up to fight off the marked men, and Raul would cancel the launch and take a wrench to the machines to prevent any more "misunderstandings."

Rose of Sharon Cassidy: Let's say one of Cass' caravans delivered a package back in the day. Let's say that package accidentally buried the caravan crew and an entire community along with it. Let's say Cass knows, and that's one of the reasons she drinks. While Courier Six walks the Divide out of curiosity about their missing past, I think Cass would do it as a form of penance in and of itself, with a little desire for self-destruction thrown into the mix. The journey would start out as a bender fueled by self-loathing and the fanciful notion of giving her missing caravan a proper funeral, and by the time Cass runs out of whiskey she's already halfway through the Cave of the Abaddon and punching holes through the tunnelers with her shotgun. She would largely ignore Ulysses' cryptic messages and holotapes, but she'd grow fond of the little eyebot that took a shine to her and would tear after it once the mysterious courier repossessed it. Following the final battle, Cass would cancel the launch, but only at the very last second, just to revel in the fleeting feeling of control.

Veronica Santangelo: I just can't see Veronica knowingly or unknowingly waking up a nuclear arsenal with a careless application of tech, but I can totally see her stumbling upon the aftermath of something her old mentor is responsible for. Father Elijah already has a tenuous grasp on the consequences of his own actions, and we know that the prototype tech that controls the Divide's weather is a Big MT project. Maybe Elijah paid Hopeville a visit to check it out and took his investigation a little too far when he discovered the nukes. This would explain Ulysses' directions to the old man to find the Sierra Madre, sealing his doom inside the casino. But where does that leave Ulysses? Along comes Veronica, following her mentor's trail of destruction, and the courier can't help but guide her along the path, show her the meaning of the wreckage and the danger of pre-war technology when left to the discretion of those with old-world values, like the Brotherhood. Along that line, I think Ulysses would try to test her like he does Courier Six, and would schedule a launch to see what she does. Veronica would cancel the launch and resolve to never tell her brothers and sisters in Steel about the secrets of the Divide. She might dump some water on the consoles for good measure. More importantly, I think she might finally realize that the unchanging family she clings to can only die out, or go down the same path that Elijah did.

ED-E: Given that ED-E is a robot, I think Ulysses would be hell-bent on finding whoever sent the little guy rather than consider that the eyebot saw a package with Enclave markings on it, picked it up of its own accord, and deposited it wherever it next encountered old American symbols. Through its communication with the other eyebots in the Divide, I think ED-E would get the picture about the courier's quest for the responsible party and play dumb for as long as possible. The other ED-E would help conceal the mistake to save its new friend, but Ulysses isn't stupid and would eventually figure it out. But how do you effectively punish a robot? Maybe he would set the nukes to target the Divide again, to send any remaining eyebots to the scrapyard for good, but it's a long shot. If he did, ED-E would cancel the launch, but would join its override system capabilities to its counterpart's and use the combined decryption power to ensure that both eyebots make it through the ordeal unharmed.

Rex: This good boy would never even consider entering the Divide. Seriously, what dog in their right mind would go in there? What cyberdog? No thank you. Still, the idea of a dog being responsible for the nukes and Ulysses continuing to hold a grudge is beyond funny. Maybe Rex was part of a mission for the Legion when he still belonged to Caesar, part of the group that leveled the Divide on behalf of the Bull. Maybe that's why Antony says he was "lost in battle," and maybe he's the only surviving member of that squad. I don't see why Ulysses would hang around the Divide waiting for the dog to look upon the hell he'd wrought, and he would more than likely seek the canine out himself as soon as he heard about the King's new pet. From there, the story turns into Courier Six investigating an assassination attempt on a goddamned dog, and the events of Lonesome Road play out pretty much the same way they were written - plus plenty of asides about how Ulysses is going to way too much effort over a creature that can't comprehend what nukes are.

Benny Gecko: Few people know that Yes Man was actually one of two securitrons that Benny managed to incapacitate and reprogram, and while the head of the Chairmen hid his favorite in the Tops for safekeeping, he sent the other out into the world for some recon and experimentation. Imagine his surprise when Yes Man was able to remotely hack into a nuclear missile silo and wipe out a budding trade community. And who would've thought that test run was going to come back to bite him in the ass, right after he was sprung from the Legion camp? I think Benny would do everything in his power to avoid entering the Divide, but I also think Ulysses would have little patience for him and would actively force the disgraced city boy into walking the Courier's Mile by blocking any other path out of the Mojave. Benny would form an attachment to ED-E, similar to Yes Man, but would complain the whole way and confront his tormenter with little remorse. He would also nuke both the NCR and the Legion if he came away alive, probably with some snarky one-liner about "letting the chips fall where they may."

Vulpes Inculta: Vulpes already has a few scorched-earth badges on his Pioneer Scouts belt (Nipton, Camp Searchlight, etc.), so eliminating the Divide is just another tactic in the grand strategy playing out between the Bull and the Bear. All he needed to do was leave a certain package in town, and the problem basically solved itself. Unfortunately, that deserter of his wasn't buried under the wreckage, and now Caesar has ordered him to assassinate the renegade. The fool keeps announcing his whereabouts every few hours or so, making tracking an easy task, but by the third time he feels eyes on the back of his neck and turns to find nothing there, Vulpes can't help but wonder whether the student has surpassed the teacher. The final showdown of Frumentarii would be something for the ages, a clash of philosophies and loyalties with plenty of verbal sparring between the bullets. If he survived the encounter with Ulysses, Vulpes would definitely nuke the NCR.

Ulysses: This cut companion can't very well face off against himself, can he? Unless... he was the courier who accidentally brought the Enclave detonator that sealed the Divide's doom. Given the weight of this grief, I think Ulysses would similarly force himself to walk the length of the Divide, take in the utter destruction that his own actions had wrought, and reflect on the meaning of one man changing the course of history. When it came down to the final room, the final decision, our disillusioned courier would activate the launch as a way of testing himself, testing his own resolve. Like Cass, he would stare at the machines shuddering to life around him until the very last moment, before shutting the system down for good, smiling under his breathing mask and walking away forever.

Victor: The robot cowboy doesn't really know what the angry man on the eyebot keeps talking about. He certainly doesn't remember delivering a package to a place called Hopeville or Ashton. Why would he? Mr. House is very good about covering his tracks, particularly when it comes to eliminating business rivals. Really, it could have been any old securitron. Nevertheless, Victor rolls merrily along in search of the courier who summoned his master, letting his own optics passively take in the devastated wasteland left behind by bombs that launched 200 years too late. Because of his robotic nature, I think it'd be a lot easier for Ulysses to get the drop on Victor and disable him at the temple, then wait until House sent another envoy or came himself. House would probably lose interest as soon as he got his data, which I don't think would stall Ulysses much: Once he figured out the Strip's owner isn't coming, he'd find some way to get inside the Lucky 38. If, however, Victor prevailed in the final struggle, he would nuke both the NCR and the Legion on behalf of Mr. House.

[xskyll]

The BNHA x Chobits AU that no one, not even Mineta, asked for.

The ramblings of my mind under the cut. Warning, it’s loooong.

Okay, so bear in mind that I only watched four episodes of Chobits and it was probably about 14 years ago, and also I didn’t really like it, lol

-Todoroki finds Midoriya laying on some bags of trash next to a dumpster.

-First he’s like “oh no, I need an adult,” because for all his “training,” dad never actually told him what to do when he found a dead body, (this is the summer before he starts U.A., so he’s still living at home). Endeavor is away for a week, and Fuyumi doesn’t count to him (sort of an Aristocats, “she’s not [an adult,] she’s just a sister!” thing). While he’s trying to remember that the police exist, he notices this dead body has very strange ear-like things. He comes closer to investigate. There are lots of weird body types in the world, because of quirks, but these things look metal, which isn’t unheard of, but something about these ears just strike him as unnatural.

- Good news, it seems like a robot, not a dead body. The ears open easily, and there are buttons inside. A power button (that’s right CHOBITS!! It’s in the ear! My love story isn’t going to start with molestation), some USB ports, an aux port, a slot for a microchip or SIM card or whatever, some sort of safety switch (he flips that on)…what really convinces him this is totally a robot are the blutooth and volume buttons (that’s right, Midoriya in this au can charge phones AND he’s a speaker, although the volume buttons’ primary function is to control the volume of his voice).

- He has no good reason for taking this thing home. It weights a ton, it’s awkwardly naked, except for some bandages wrapped around it, which do nothing to hide how anatomically correct this robot is, and he already has a phone charger, so he really has no use for it. 

- He feels weird about it though. While he was checking out the ears, he touched its face and the skin was soft and warm. He checked for a pulse, just out of curiosity, and found one. It looks like a person, aside from the ears, and it feels like a person. He feels bad leaving it in the trash. So he takes it home.

- Cue comedy routine where he gets this thing, not just in the house, but to his room without Fuyumi noticing.

- Once in his room, he hits the power switch. Nothing happens. He holds the power switch. Bingo. Robo-boy powers to life, bright, adorably large green eyes open. He’s holding it in his arms, and it’s still all tied up. It looks up at him and says hello.

- He drops it.

- He apologizes as he picks it back up, tugging at the wrappings to try to get its arms free. He realizes he needs to get pants, or at least boxers, for it, because it’s awake now and very much naked.

- For the very first time, he realizes that this adorable, thin-yet-lean-muscled, between 14-16 looking robo-boy might have been someone’s weird sex doll. They probably threw it away because they found a real person to date and they didn’t want them to know about their underage sex robot. This also sort of explains the pulse; the mystery pervert person probably programmed a fake pulse and did something to make his skin warm, to make him feel more real. Gross.

- He’s broken from these thoughts when the robot speaks. It says, “Please insert memory bank files or turn on base memory.” Todoroki is already freaking out, because this thing wants its memories, and he doesn’t have them. He opens the ear again and investigates. Next to the empty slot, there’s a small button labeled BM. Base memory? Sure, why not. He pushes it.

- The robot goes blank faced for a few seconds. When he comes to, he looks at Todoroki, then the room, then down at himself. He flexes his arms, trying to break the bands around him, but stops, saying, “Safety mode is on.”

- Todoroki finishes helping unwrap him, awkwardly doing so while pointedly looking away, once he gets to his lower half. Once he’s free, he goes and gets a pair of boxers and throws them in his direction. “Can you put them on?” He’s curious if the robot can do something like that unaided, and also he doesn’t want to cloth it himself, because even though this is a robot, it looks like a very cute boy his age. And it has a pulse. He can’t stop thinking about that.

- The robot puts on the boxers, after inspecting them for a second. He honestly does struggle to figure it out for a moment, cause he has zero common sense, but he does figure it out. It probably takes him about a minute. Once they’re on, he stands and starts inspecting the room.

- “Do you have a name?” seems like a dumb question, but he asks anyway and the robot answers, “I’m Project Midoriya.”

- Background info time. Midoriya is not fully a robot. He was kidnapped just seven months ago, coming home from school. It was the day of the sludge villain attack, but he got nabbed before they could cross paths. AFO wanted a quirkless person to experiment on. He did his research and found Midoriya Izuku, a quirkless boy with no friends and little family, who wouldn’t be missed very much. He’s confident enough that he won’t get caught that he titles his new project by its name: Midoriya. Midoriya’s memories are still in his mind, but they’re suppressed. AFO found it easier to backup his memories to a chip, so he could remove them as needed. When they were installed, Midoriya responded best to his own name anyway, so calling him that was also the easiest thing. Without his memories, AFO found him a bit annoying, because he had no social skills or common sense. He needed to be taught, which he didn’t have the patience for, so usually he just left the memories in. He was a timid boy anyway and easy to intimidate, especially if he threaten to hurt his mom.

- The cops figure his disappearance was maybe a runaway situation, but given his track record and the profile on him they’d compiled from listening to his mom, classmates, and teachers, they figure it’s more likely a kidnapping or murder. Fun fact though, he got kidnapped the day Bakugou told him to kill himself. Obviously no body is found, but he knows people go to forests to hang themselves, or put weights in their pockets and drown themselves. Those bodies can take years to find. So while all of this is happening, Bakugou is out there just every day, “what have I done, what have I done, what have I done?” When they finally see each other again, Bakugou freaks out and Midoriya’s suppressed memories are triggered. Bakugou demands answers, Todoroki is confused and defensive, and Midoriya is just, “System overload. Shutting down,” and then face plants to the floor.

- Anyway, back to Shouto. He asks Midoriya if he remembers anything. Midoriya has exactly one memory (or at least, one easily accessible memory), and it’s this: “A man. He looked like this.” He put his hand over his face. “He said, ‘Sensei put so much work into you. Why are you so useless (Deku)?’”

- More bg info, AFO gave Midoriya to Shigaraki, telling him to try to make him useful, and Shigaraki DID try for a couple of months, but he was over the whole situation after basically one day. With his memories, Midoriya was scared and traumatized, had morals, cried a bunch and sometimes tried to escape, and was just UGH. He could mute his voice, but even that didn’t help, cause this kid was just sooo annoying. Without his memories he was awkward and boring and still annoying. Eventually he just yeeted him into a trash heap, but took his memory chip, since it technically contains LoV information.

- Midoriya considers his only memory and thinks being called Deku feels sort of normal, so he says as much. “Deku might also be my name. You can call me that, if you want.” Todoroki says he’ll stick with Midoriya, because Deku isn’t a nice name for his new robot friend.

- So the first section of the story after this is fairly light-hearted. Todoroki has to keep Midoriya a secret from Endeavor and Fuyumi (I feel like she does find out eventually, but agrees to help hide him, as she sees it’s good for her little bro to finally have this (maybe?) living thing/person to talk to and take care of.) Speaking of care, Midoriya is very easy to care for. He can eat, drink, and sleep, but doesn’t need to. He has some sort of self-charging system. Most of his “care” involves teaching him social skills (which oof, blind leading the blind, but they say teaching is the best way to learn, so this is actually good for Shouto too). Embarrassing stuff happens. Fluffy stuff happens. It’s a good time.

- Shouto spends the summer with Midoriya this way. Most of their interactions are fluffy and light, but not all. The first time he comes back to his room after training with his dad, he learns two things: Midoriya has first aid knowledge programmed into him and he’s capable of crying. As the trainings continue, Midoriya eventually reveals that he has over a hundred fighting styles programmed into him and knows over 70 ways to kill a person, but he can’t access any of that information while his safety is on. Todoroki is just like, “Uuuuuh, that’s really good to know…but we’re gonna keep the safety on for now, okay? I hate my dad but also please don’t murder him. He’s famous so we wouldn’t get away with it. Also murder is bad, don’t kill people.”

- Midoriya wants to know if all heroes are like Endeavor and Shouto is like, noooo and shows him the debut video of his personal favorite hero: All Might. Watching this video is the first time Midoriya has a “System overloading. Shutting down” moment. Shouto has an absolute panic attack, because if Midoriya reboots and his memories are wiped, then he’ll have lost the best friend he ever had. But Midoriya restarts and he’s fine. He explains that sometimes he shuts down, to prevent a system failure, which would damage his…idk, hard drive or whatever. He quietly admits that the All Might video is very familiar, and he thinks maybe it used to be important to him. Shouto questions him about his memories and Midoriya theorizes that perhaps he has them backed up, but he isn’t sure how to access them. 

- This is exciting for Shouto, because he thinks maybe if Midoriya experiences more “triggers,” like the video, he might regain his memories and be able to shed some light on the general mystery of where he came from/who made him/what his purpose is. Whenever Endeavor is away, he tries to sneak Midoriya out, so he can see the real world. He isn’t too concerned about his ears, because in a world of quirks, there are plenty of odd looking people around. So far he’s been wearing Todoroki’s clothes, which a little too big on him, so they go shopping and get him clothes. None of their outings seem to trigger anything, except one time when they pass a park where Midoriya and Bakugou used to play as kids. Midoriya grows quiet and seems far away for a moment, but he doesn’t overload and shakes off the familiar feeling.

- Whenever they see All Might stuff he’s just !!!!!!! He can’t remember why he likes All Might, but he remembers how he feels about him. The more All Might stuff he sees, the more his old feelings return. One day they pass a large All Might poster and Midoriya says, “I think maybe I wanted to be like him, once.”

- Eventually Todoroki starts school. He feels bad about leaving him, but Midoriya is content to stay in his room and occupy himself until Todoroki comes home. He’s part computer, so he’s a total boss at helping with math homework. He likes doing homework with Todoroki in general, because he likes learning. This is great for Todoroki’s grades because again, the teaching thing helps everything stick better for him. 

- The attack on USJ happens and Todoroki sees Shigaraki, who has a hand on his face, and he’s like, “Shit, shit, shit, this is the guy who threw away Midoriya,” and he has NO idea what to do with that information. Midoriya belonging to the LoV does explain the “70+ ways to kill” programming though. He tells Midoriya what happened and Midoriya is kind of whatever about it. He says, “Maybe I belonged to villains, but I belong to you, now.” And Shouto is like, “No, no, no, no. You do not. You belong to yourself” and Midoriya is just ????

- I think for the Sports Festival, Midoriya convinces him to use his fire. It’s sort of like, “It’s your power, even though its origin is Endeavor. Just like how everything I can do is my power, even though I was programmed by villains. Being made by villains doesn’t make me a villain. Using the resources they gave me doesn’t make me a villain. Being Endeavor’s son doesn’t make you Endeavor, and using your fire doesn’t either.” Todoroki turns off Midoriya’s safety, confident he has nothing to fear.

- Midoriya watches the Sports Festival on tv (using his blutooth, he can actually just hear the volume in his head, so he can watch silently). He sees Bakugou. Seeing him on screen doesn’t have a huge impact on him, but he does feel something. Fear, unease, admiration, and affection. He’s confused and uncomfortable, and ends up looking away from the screen whenever he’s shown for too long.

- Shouto actually starts making friends at school. Being with Midoriya has taught him a lot about being kind and the joy having other people in your life can bring. Still, he doesn’t trust anyone enough to tell them about Midoriya. He’s terrified of losing him.

- For the Hosu incident, Midoriya is home alone, probably doing something on Shouto’s laptop. He sees the breaking news and is just, “Welp, that’s where Shouto, the official best person in the world, is, so guess I’m going to Hosu to make sure he’s safe.” He leaves the house alone, for the first time ever, and just runs to Hosu. Idk how far away Hosu is from the Todoroki residence, but Midoriya doesn’t fatigue and he’s also outrageously fast, so it’s fine. Also he can see in the dark, but only if he activates his night vision, which makes his eyes glow. Not good for sneaking, but very pretty and cool. I’m not sure how he finds Shouto, or how Shouto found Iida, but I imagine Stain is like, seconds from skewering him and then Midoriya comes out of nowhere and collides with Stain (which is a big deal, cause remember, Midoriya is filled with metal parts and is super heavy). They fight together and at some point Stain cuts Midoriya and he bleeds, which for Shouto is like !?!??! And then he licks his blood and the paralysis works and Shouto is just !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Later, after the life threatening stuff is over, Todoroki has some seriously thoughts about this, because what if Midoriya is human? Or part human? That would be a huge development, and also kind of relief for him, because he sort of feels like he’s been falling in love, but he’s been desperately stomping down on those feelings, because he knows falling in love with a robot probably isn’t healthy. But falling in love with a half robot? I mean, Iida could be called part robot, with his legs, if you want to get technical about it. And Todoroki does want to get technical about it, thank you very much. If Iida is dateable, then so is Midoriya.

- Back to Hosu. They beat Stain and, after securing him, Todoroki tells Midoriya to go home, before his dad arrives. Once he leaves, he begs Iida not to tell anyone he saw him and promises to explain later. For ease of narrative, Native was unconscious the entire fight.

- Endeavor shows up, as does the Nomu. It takes Shouto but Stain rescues him. At the hospital, Todoroki explains the Midoriya situation to Iida, revealing that this incident was the first time he realized Midoriya had blood in him. Iida agrees to keep the secret, but urges Todoroki to tell someone. Maybe Aizawa. He agrees to consider, but he doesn’t want Midoriya to get taken away and like, locked up to be studied or something. He and Iida become better friends, bonding over almost dying together and sharing the secret of Midoriya. 

- Midterms! Shouto scores higher because he has an awesome robot tutor. He doesn’t actually care, but good for him regardless.

- Summer field trip time. Midoriya can’t come, obviously. I’m thinking during this time, he decides to sneak out of the house and explore on his own. He feels guilty, because Shouto would worry if he knew, but he just feels this draw. He feels like maybe his old memories were important, and he’s becoming curious. He keeps thinking about the boy from the Sports Festival and about All Might. He ends up in his old neighborhood. He sees his middle school and he doesn’t remember anything, but seeing the building makes him feel lonely and sort of bad about himself. It reminds him of Shigaraki calling him Deku, and the familiar feeling that gave him. He leaves and finds himself on his old street. He isn’t close at all to his old home - he can barely see the apartment building - but he can still see it. He almost shuts down, but turns away quickly and starts back the way he came. He doesn’t remember anything, but seeing that building fills him with overwhelming emotions. The strongest one reminds him of his feelings for Shouto, but it’s different. He can’t place it, but he knows he’d die to protect Shouto, and he feels like maybe he once knew someone in that building that he would also die to protect. Once he gets home, he realizes he’s crying. He decides to sleep and he dreams of green eyes and a smile that looks like home.

- Shouto is injured during the villain attack and goes to the hospital. Once he’s released, he agrees with Kirishima that they’ll go rescue Bakugou. That whole thing pretty much goes at it did in canon, except All Might never found a successor, so he’s more powerful. He defeats AFO and does not have to retire, though he’s feeling an overwhelming pressure to find a successor now, because he knows he’s hanging on by a thread.

- Dorms!! Shouto is bringing his boy with him. He figures he can hide him just as easily there as he can at home. Getting him in is a little tricky, but he manages. From there, it’s smooth sailing.

- Except not really, because living with 18-19 other people (19 if Hitoshi is in the class, which, maybe) is way different than living with 2. Midoriya is discovered in like, a week and everyone is freaking out, most of all Bakugou, who basically breaks down. He tries to hit Midoriya and screams at him, about thinking he was dead and going to his funeral and how it was his fault and having to face his mom and did Midoriya even think about his mom??? As previously mentioned, Midoriya just shuts down and face plants to the ground.

- Shouto finally learns Midoriya’s full name. Midoriya Izuku. A+ name. Very cute. He plans to use it immediately.

- Bakugou’s insight changes the situation completely. Now they know Izuku was once 100% human and something awful happened to him. They end up bringing him to Aizawa and explaining the situation and everything they know. Todoroki gets scolded, cause Izuku could have been dangerous and he should have known better, but he doesn’t even pretend to have regrets. Endeavor would have made him throw Izuku back into the trash where he found him. His best friend isn’t trash.

- Now the name of the game is helping Izuku restore his memories. Bakugou is a huge help, but patience is required, to keep Izuku from overloading. He remembers bits and pieces at a time, all centered around Bakugou. Aizawa agrees to let him attend classes, so they can keep an eye on him. He’s also hoping a school setting might trigger more memories. He meets All Might and he doesn’t even get to announce his system malfunction before he’s out. He sees him, starts smoking at the mouth and hits the floor. All Might is very alarmed.

- Tsukauchi is made aware of the situation. He wants to keep things under wraps though. If the LoV is aware Midoriya is out and about, they may target him. If they can restore his memories though, they may gain insight into the group’s plans. That being said, he thinks it’s only right that they tell Inko. They tell her they have information on her son and make her sign a contract, agreeing not to release any information. Once she agrees, they brief her on what they know and, at the end, bring in Izuku.

- Izuku has been talking with Bakugou about his mom, to prepare for this (he usually wants Shouto with him for these conversations, and Shouto and Bakugou sort on inadvertently become friends). He can’t remember her at all, but he remembers the face in his dream. He knows it’s her. While talking, he’s shut down a few times (which drives Bakugou up the wall, and also scares him a little, cause he kind of looks dead when it happens), but he thinks he might be ready to see her now. He’s brought in and he does not shut down, not fully, but he comes close. He definitely glitches a little, maybe doing a quick reboot, quick enough that he doesn’t even fall, and his voice comes out cracked and metallic when he speaks, and there are sparks in his mouth, but he manages, “Mom?” They both cry and she holds him while he tells her, voice wavering between sounding normal and sounding robotic, that he doesn’t remember her, but he loves her, he knows he loves her so so much and he knows he’s missed her, even though he didn’t know who she was. It’s very emotional, and extremely hard for both of them when they finally have to separate, because Izuku can’t go home with her. She’s allowed to visit though, and each visit helps him restore little pieces of his memory. Between her and Bakugou, he starts making enough progress that he stops shutting down when he gains a new memory, and he starts remembering his old hopes and dreams. He doesn’t remember what AFO did to him, but he remembers enough of his past to feel self-conscious now, about his body. He breaks down one day and Shouto holds him while he grapples with his identity, his humanity, and his future. 

- I’m picturing a scene where he’s crying and Shouto takes his face in his hands and explains all the beautiful things about him that make him human, and he finishes up with something corny like, “I know you, Izuku. You’re human. You have to be human, because I’m in love with you.” And then they KISS and it is ROMANTIC!

- He decides he still wants to be a hero and he becomes a real member of 1A, instead of just a visitor. The whole class helps him design a costume and come up with a name and in general are just like, “Cyborg Hero, yay!!”

- And that’s all I got. I think eventually he would fight the league, and probably retrieve his chip, giving him 100% of his memories. There’s a LOT of trauma to deal with there, because he was basically torn apart and put back together several times by AFO, but they do gain all the information they need to take down the LoV for good. And the Overhaul arc is in there. Izuku might still intern with Nighteye, because All Might is like, “Robot successor? Maybe???” and he wants Nighteye’s opinion. Nighteye can’t see his future, because he’s not fully human, but eventually he gives his stamp of approval. Eri is rescued and that’s a very personal fight for Izuku, because he identifies with what she’s gone through. And of course she loves him and thinks his ears are cute and his glowy eyes are pretty.

- Oh, and the School Festival. I honestly don’t even know what to do with him. He can learn any instrument just by like, downloading some YouTube tutorial videos. He can learn any dance by watching it once. He’s really strong, really fast, and can also operate as a speaker (though that can be awkward, cause it’s through his mouth, so he’d just be standing there with his mouth open). They might keep his role same as canon, idk. They’d probably all fight over him.

- I’m sure none of this was anything like Chobits. Sorry. I just think the ears are neat, really, and liked the idea of Izuku being a cyborg (Chobits isn’t even about cyborgs, lol).

Sorry this is outrageously long! If you want to write this into a full fic, feel free to use my ideas! Just give me a shoutout, maybe? And tell me about it, so I can read it!