#maybe some of the worst ive ever read. and i didnt even know about the transmisogyny at the time so i didnt let that cloud my view lol

[cliveguy]

this is why i never take book recs from this site omfg

[noellefan101]

How do the different yanderes "love" you? (plus some tropes(??) i feel like would fit them)

this was honeslty just practice, and it ended up turning into smt kinda decent, i dont love what ive written but i just needed to get our smt

i blame @fatuismooches for being lovely and having such good harbinger thoughts that they've taken over my mind (fuck you[said with affection])

Yandere! Childe, Scaramouche, Dottore(separate) x gn reader

Childe ("soft and sweet" x unloving and hates touch)

He just spoils you left and right, he feels a little bad when he sees the uncomfortable look in your eyes when he kisses you all over, or when he touches you too much. so he has chosen to spoil you rotten until you finally fall for him, or at least see the way he can take care of you and finally kiss him back.

[He loves you, and that should be known by now, so why do you force his hands to do this, "why cant you just love him like he is", those were the last words you heard before he brought something to your lips and made you drink something unknown]

You are incredibly lucky that the 11th Harbinger is this patient with you, but dont push it too much, he can go to more bloody measures of getting you to fall for him if he sees it's needed. dont worry he wont hurt you too much, he loves you too much to do that, but love is complicated and you cant always control whom you fall in love with, so just love him will you, darling?

after all he knows the aphrodisiac he gave you wont last forever, so it would be better to just fall for him manually, right?

Scaramouche (manipulative, powerful x easily manipulated, weak[...i didnt know what to do here lol])

He might seem like he doesn't love at all, but when you aren't being dragged around to missions and meetings, and all alone with him in your shared chambers, he loves to just hug you, maybe litter kisses on your neck and collarbone. you hated it at first, and you still kind of do, but you've long since gotten used to it all.

He show his love for you when he has his hands all over your body as you dress into the clothes he picked out for you. he cant keep himself off of your lovely body, but would kill if anyone even touch a strand of your hair.

But oh how could you try 'nd leave when this weak little puppet is crying in your arms every night, when he has nightmares about you leaving him, dying when he can't be there to protect you... oh how foolish you are, how stupid you must be to fall for such things, as he has long since abandoned the idea of ever letting go of you.

And he'll make sure you dont let go of him either, because you need him. after all he was the one to save you from danger when you were stupid enough to walk too far into a hilichurl camp. you need protection, and he's rgith here willing to give it for "free".

Dottore (crazy scientist and his crazy lover[aka yandere x yandere but worse])

You lvoe each other in ways normal human minds wouldn't dream of ever understanding. he smiled when you gave him a dead body for experimenting, and the worst part? you had the biggest grin on your face, and a massive amount of blood on your hands and clothes, much to the dismay of many onlookers.

And then there's the fact that neither of you even spare a glance at the amount of blood on the others' clothes, or at least it looks like you don't. but when you are in the privacy of your shared bedroom (though filled with dead onlookers in the closet) you reward each other for getting rid of anyone who dares to interrupt, or archons forbid break, the love you two have.

It has been made a daily occurrence for you both to randomly disappear from the building with a fatui agent, who had taken too much attention from the other, and then come back alone with bloodied hands, and being greeted by a two-minute-long kiss when opening the lap doors again.

just two crazy maniacs in love, awwww (if they arent wanted in at least 6 nations they need to be)

thx for reading whatever this is, luv ya -Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

[sieglinde-freud]

so the way endings in awakening work is a bit off if you have the gay mod because it reads single people normally, but married people have the man’s ending read, and then his wife just. attached. and so that alters which ending you see for both of them. unfortunately, that means if i have f/f pairs, which most of them were, i dont get to see any because none of them were read. and at least with the second gen, i did almost entirely f/f pairs, which dont show up, or m/m pairs, which had nothing written, so. everyone please give it up for gerome and cynthia, the only second gen ending i got to see!

😭😭 good for them!!! anyways unorganized final thoughts under cut so i dont have to make a whole other post for it

awakening lunatic sucks! but project thabes makes it suck a little less. in all honesty i had a lot of fun, awakenings a good game to revisit, and finding a way to make it challenging while being able to use my favorite units (awakening second gen) ever was awesome. normally having all 13 (or 14 in this case, with both morgans) would break the game, but lunatic kept the enemies strong, so it didnt matter what my units had. i actually got overwhelmed a lot 😭 HUGE difficulty jump between hard and lunatic all i’m saying. and then the games like “hey now u have lunatic+ if that interests you” NOOOOO THANKS.

anyways. here are my top three guys according to the medal thingies at the end

im so proud of them :3 of all the kids really but yeah these three were huge standouts. virion actually got a change in the mod where one of his subclasses was swapped for myrmidon, so yarne got to inherit astra which was actually insane? it procced ALL THE TIME so. that was crazy. chrom!inigo and fred!cynthia are always good thats not new but they were really clutch in the last few chapters. i had them both hopping around classes for most of the game bc thabes redoes skill progression so. IT TOOK CYNTHIA SO LONG TO LEARN LUNA. ITS FROM WYVERN LORD. GOD. she went through a LOT of classes yall dont even know. also honorable mention to marc and morgan, the best rallybots ever, and dancer lucina, who was outserving everyone she was in a scene with. my girl.

like ok serving cunt on the back of the god youre about to kill? get it girl!

anyways so for second gen pairs i did: lucina/f!morgan, owain/m!morgan, inigo/laurent, yarne/brady, severa/kjelle, nah/noire, and cynthia/gerome and you know what. i think i have a great taste. a lot of these were born from being unable to do other pairings but thats ok. i liked how it turned out. though i was gonna do nah/noire anyways because they were actually like. an insane duo. honestly im surprised noire didnt get a medal thing bc i feel like her nostanking with nah backing her up got me out of so much shit. maybe its because i didnt see her ending… oh. oh wait thats probably it. well. anyways.

i think awakening is not a properly balanced game, nor are the maps made for a difficulty like this. towards the end game especially, the maps are just. flat. most of them anyways, and they just become really repetitive and bland and boring. and despite this being the game with the tactician character of all the time, they dont really allow you flexible strategies, because if youre not pair up stat stacking, you will die! and that sucks. mid game is alright, but the last arc is really weak and kinda dampered my whole experience. im glad i did it, but i wouldnt actually reccomend it to anyone unless you like to play like that (which is totally fine! its just not my thing). definitely requires some solid planning as well. all in all, not the worst fire emblem ive played but… well. im not doing it again. ok anyways heres inigo mouthing off at grima

[grilledcheese-aspiration]

a discussion idea! (long post)

my husband and i were chatting last night while cleaning up dinner; he pitched a fun idea that could be a great topic of discussion in the simblr community. maybe this should be a SQotD submission - IDK but: he asked how i feel about sims 2 expansion packs now compared to when they came out. initially, i said "yeh idk, i guess the same?" and that was that.

i put a more thought towards his question and realized, i do feel a bit differently about some of the EPs now compared to when they came out - all under the cut!

university: i was SO SO excited about it bc i didnt go away to college like my friends did so it was a way to vicariously-ish get the experience and a bonus was zombies! now tho? yea i still enjoy it even tho the dormies eventually start pissing me off bc theyre just so damn dumb lmao

nightlife: same level of excitement. i LOVE cities and i love vampires too. this scratched the "i need to go downtown chicago" itch when i couldnt from lack of transportation and safey being a v smol person afraid of the worst. i played all my sims in "downtown", specifically, 107 Custer Blvd. I made-over that lot dozens of times, it's seen dozens of different families and had a million different lifetimes. Nightlife still stands as my fave TS2 EP and 107 Custer - my all-time favorite lot to play.

open for business: initially, i had ZERO excitement over this pack. i personally, right out of high school basically, had NO interest in working myself (i didnt, i went to community college and got by ok w/ chore-money basically) so why the hell would i want to put my sims to work too?? i also didnt care for the music (i like it more now tho) as an Adult - i do enjoy this pack more than i ever did when i was a clueless near-20-yo. also, love the servos but i dont play w them nearly as much as i should being a bot fan and all. (i should fix that)

pets&seasons: i was pumped for these bc MORE IMMERSION AND REAL LIFE STUFF!!! also, weather and animals LOL. i still love these packs the same as i did when they initially released. just kinda wish plantsims werent annoying for me to play, i love them from afar tho! werewolves are neat but theyre also kind of a PITA to play.

bon voyage: EH i dont really go on vaca a lot myself, my sims dont either for the same reasons: money! im also still scarred from the one time i did send my sims on vaca and they got STUCK THERE!!! it broke all my shit and i had no way of fixing it bc i didnt know about MTS, MATY and etc to ask for help/guidance. RIP to that family lmao i hope theyre still having a nice time in the vaca-void theyre prob still floating around in! (note: ive never found bigfoot, some day i wish to!)

freetime: we all have hobbies right? it was all fine and good until the fire nation attacked i was being inundated with a ton of hobby spam, be it notifications, the hobby sims and the lots. it was a lot. its far more manageable now thanks to mods so i dont mind playing into hobbies. i do appreciate the return of the genie tho!

apartment life: ok, look. i thought this was super cool then but now, after living in apartments myself, i despise them and dont put my sims in them anymore either. i do love the witches tho, prob my fave aspect of this pack!

edit to add rankings: nightlife, seasons, pets, apartment life, uni, ofc, free time then bon voyage lmao

id be interested to hear/read you guys' comparison's to the different EPs we have for Sims 2 or any of the sims games tbh. id go over The Sims but i dont have all day lmao ill make a different post on that some time bc i always get in my feels over the OG.

[roseworth]

Tried to follow only to discover I already am. Good job, past me. Thoughts on the changes made to Rose’s character with each reboot?

YES i have so many thoughts

first of all. the new 52 was the worst thing to ever happen to rose and im not exaggerating even a little. she started out as a superboy side character (???) as an assassin that was hired to kill him if he didnt do what they wanted ? then she became a ravager and hunted people down

but the WORST part of the new52 is that they either didnt know or didnt care about lillian worth and they just. made rose one of slade and adeline's kids. and had him raise her.

also she was the oldest child of her and joey, which is nowhere near the same level of awful as the whitewashing but still makes me uncomfortable

yeah so. new 52 was fucking terrible. that is not rose even a little i do not know this woman

but REBIRTH fixed so much <3 christopher priest my bff <3 i am once again recommending deathstroke 2016 bc it has so many good moments and i think its worth reading

the first time rose showed up lillian worth was mentioned!!!!! she was there!!!!! <33333 the timeline was changed a little but i can forgive that bc!!! LILI!!!!!

the problem is that the book made her hmong instead of cambodian and i dont really know why??? but also ive said it before but,,, as much as it makes me upset bc asian identities shouldnt just be interchangeable,,,, this was the first time it was even mentioned that she was half asian since the 90s!!!! and she had a whole arc about her hmong heritage and her family!!!!!!

AND she didnt kill anyone in that book iirc :') the closest she got to killing someone was when she was in the middle of a breakdown then shado killing him for her instead which!!!! i love so so much bc rose does not kill a lot despite what some writers want you to believe. pre52 she has like maybe 3 murders that i would consider in character so the fact that she doesnt kill anyone in ds2016 is so fucking real

anyways ill also count infinite frontier as a reboot bc i love to talk about my opinions

there werent a lot of clear changes in infinite frontier BUT. technically her cutting her eye out is canon rn. in deathstroke inc theres a flashback of her stabbing her eye, and also in dark knights death metal (?) shes drawn with an eyepatch

then she was in robin 2021 which was . eh. it wasnt BAD for her but it was just kinda her continuing to kill ppl ig :( but she was drawn so nice in that book so ill forgive it

side note i still hate the idea of respawn so that bothered me in this book. also what they did to connor hawke is unforgivable so its a net loss but whatever

anyways i think thats all my thoughts. in conclusion: new52 bad. rebirth mostly good. infinite frontier eh. and my own personal interpretation is perfect always.

[brandonduhaimes]

What if (M.B.)

Credits to gif maker

Authors note: thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy! Sorry for any spelling/grammar errors im writing from my phone since i left my laptop at work.

Length: 3.8k

Saturday mornings on days Matt didn't have a game were simply the best. This morning he had you pinned under him as a way to keep you from getting up.

"Babe you have to get off your crushing me” you yell out as he whines before rolling over so you can breathe freely again. "You got me all wet with your dripping hair. Next time dry it before laying on me."

"What do you want to do this morning since you wont let me cuddle you?" He sighs with a pout on his lips.

"You are so dramatic sometimes you know that?" You giggle as he pulls you into his side and wraps his arms around your waist.

"I wouldn't have to be if you would just let me lay on you," he sighs dramatically "but no i can't suffocate you lovingly."

"Maybe in a couple years you can, but not today i still have a life to live," you add continuing your fake argument.

"Well Y/N, I hope I get to be a part of that life because you are the one constant I have. Hockey is changing everyday, especially since the trade deadline is coming up."

Boldy wasn't planning on leaving Minnesota but he knows that soon some of the people he cares about most could be gone. He definitely doesn't want you to leave too. "What if we just i don't know moved to Canada or something, escape it all."

"Ah yes canada where no hockey exists and you would be free." He smiles at your comment and kisses your forehead softly.

"You're right that might possibly be the worst place for me to go. One of the teams up there would find me and hold me hostage or something." You both laugh at that and he holds you a little bit tighter "but seriously I love you and I need you with me forever. I don't think that i could move on from you even if i tried."

"I love you too Matt I don't plan on leaving ever." You reach your arm across his stomach trying to pull him even closer.

"Well, then I know what we are doing today!" He says shooting up out of bed leaving you utterly confused.

"And what exactly do you have in mind?" You ask "for someone who didn't want to get up not even five minutes ago you sure did change your mind fast."

"I love you more than I've ever thought possible so with great advice from an icon i am in-fact going to put a ring on it." With that he grabs your arm and drags you out of bed. "Go get in the shower!"

"Matthew you are absolutely the goofiest person Ive ever met." You laugh as he drags you towards the shower.

What you didn't know was that Matt had already picked out the ring, talked to your parents (who were on their way over), and the boys who were all waiting in his front yard.

When you got out of the shower Matt was no where to be found. The only thing proving he was still in the house was the outfit he had placed on your bed. It seemed a little dressy for a Saturday morning but you slipped it on anyways.

You walked down the stairs to find mason brandon and connor in the hallway.

"What are you three doing in my house?" You ask and they just laugh as Connor grabs your hand and escorts you outside. Mason and Brandon follow behind you giggling like school boys.

"We have your first clue." Brandon says as Mason hands you a small handwritten note and your car keys.

You stopped and took a minute to read the note: "It was snowing on the day we met and the roads were horrible. What if you didnt come that day? Would fate have still brought us together if you never showed up?"

The first day you had met Matt was at a fan meeting. He had spent almost forty minutes signing autographs for people when all the sudden he couldn't speak. He was to stunned to talk to the person standing in front of him. He did however manage to write his number on the back of the puck you had brought for him to sign.

"Thanks boys," you say as you get in your car.

"No problem Y/N have fun!" Mason yells before shutting the door for you. As you drive to the X you wonder what you are getting yourself into.

(Matt's POV)

"Are you sure you aren't going to overboard?" Connor asked as he took the note and your car keys.

"I had so many memories with them in the x that it would be weird for me to not make this a part of it. My first hattrick was the night that we went on our first date. That was the best Valentine's day ever for me. I knew that day I had found the love of my life." He reminds him.

"You just wish you had thought of it first dew, let it be." Brandon chirps making everyone laugh quietly so you wouldn't hear them.

"Alright ill see you guys in like an hour for set up. Thank you so much."

With that I got in my car and headed to the florist to pick up the flowers.

(Your POV)

You park and make your way towards the supposed to be vacant building to find Jordan, Hartman, Dumba and Brodin inside the front doors. (the ones on the riverside with the hockey lodge next to it.)

They swing open the doors dramatically and Jordan gives you a hug before ushering you quickly inside and into the hockey lodge. Once inside they handed you bag of your favorite candy and a small note.

You opened the note to read: "what if you had just taken the free tickets and not came down to the locker room after? (Not that i think you are that kind of person though)"

Before you could make your way down Jordan held his arm out "Let me escort you." He says and you laugh at the goofy face he makes. The two of you had hung out with eachother often and were really close friends, so you took his arm.

As the two of you walked he spoke up. "You know Boldy is probably one of the best guys on the planet. You have no idea the difference you make in his life. I haven't seen him this happy in a while. So thank you for that."

"He makes me really happy too. I don't think I could have been more lucky. The schedule is hard but as long as he's happy i wouldn't want any if it to change. He's made me a better person by just being around." You respond and Jordan smiles.

"Thats the best part of finding the one you are meant to be with, it changes both of you for the better and it works no matter what."

You and Jordan finish the walk to locker room laughing and up to your usual antics. He stops outside of the doors "I believe this is your stop. Thank you for choosing big rig trucking."

"Thanks for the escort Greenie." You say before pushing the doors open. Jordan salutes you and you laugh as he walks away.

(Matt's POV)

While I was on my way to the flower shop I called Jordan.

"Remember they would probably walk through the arena so dont let them go alone I don't want the next parts to be ruined."

"You got it I'll make sure to walk them down through the outside offices." He responds.

"Jordan what if they say no? What if its too soon?" I ask starting to think I may have been too early.

"I think that you know when its time." He says, "you were pretty dead set on it last week when you were trying to get coach to approve the day off."

He was right, I knew that it was the right time and its the day of so of course I would be nervous. "You're right Greenie I just got nervous all the sudden, but I have to get to the florists so im gonna let you go."

"Drive safe bolds" he says and we say our goodbyes.

(Your POV)

As you walk through the door you are met with the smiling faces of Sam, Sammy, Adam, Marco and Calen.

"Welcome to the locker room, its not like you haven't been here before but y'know i didnt really know what else to say." Calen says making you laugh as they show you Matt's locker which had a small note on the bench.

It read: "What if you had decided not to go up to the press box with me while we waited for everyone to leave?" Next to the note was a beautiful silver locket with the picture you had taken of the two of you in the press box inside. On the other side it had the words "my happily ever after."

Adam then came up to you and help you put the locket around your neck.

After this Rossi escorted you to the press box. After a few moments, he asked you, "Y/n do you believe in love at first sight?"

"I do." You say, "I think that when you meet the one you are supposed to be with the world stops. Its just you and them in that moment."

"Boldy believes in it too. When he met you and came back down to the locker room after, all he could say was that he had just met the love of his life. We all thought he was crazy. Of course it was Connor and I that were down there and we just hadn't met the one yet." He smiles thinking of his girlfriend. "Now that we've both found them we agree with him."

"I'm glad you found yours Rossi and I'm glad I have mine too." You replied smiling.

You continued walking in a comfortable silence before finally reaching the doors to the press box.

"Well this is where I leave you." He smiles and walks away.

(Matt's POV)

As I leave the florists I call Y/N's dad.

"Hey Matt how are you coming along there? We are done with the set up here, we just need the flowers," he asks.

"I'm on my way now." I respond "Jordan texted me like ten minutes ago saying that he dropped them at the locker room so it should be like 45 minutes still."

"Perfect! It looks like it will all work out perfectly timing wise." He then adds, "I don't know how you came up with this idea but it's amazing. I wish i would have thought of something like this."

"Mr. Y/L/N they don't deserve anything less. They are my entire world and I want to remind them everyday. So if I can go big here it will make it easier for them to remember how much I love them."

"You're a great man Boldy don't ever forget that." Y/D/N says "I'm going to let you go since you are driving and we don't need you injured."

"I'll see you soon Mr. Y/L/N!" I respond and we say our goodbyes.

(Your POV)

As I made my way into the press box I was met by Ekkie, Middsy, Gus, Freddie, Jonny, and Moose.

"Welcome to the press box!" Moose yells making all of you laugh. He guides you over to the radio panel where a small note is waiting for you.

It read: "What if you didn't go skating with me? I was so excited to show you who I am that I didn't even think about how you might not have known how. Im glad you did." On the floor next to the note was a pair of skates. The ones you had worn during your first date and the many after them.

You look out over the ice to see some faces you recognize already waiting for you on the rink. "We thought you might need a couple of escorts to the rink. We wouldn't want you getting lost." Moose says and you laugh as the boys follow you down to the rink.

As you make your way down to the entrance you smile as you find more faces than before. All of the boys you had talked to already had made their way to the rink and were skating to their hearts content. "Y/N?" Moose questions "will you skate with us for a little while?"

"Of course!" You say and laugh as he helps you lace your skates up. As you make your way onto the ice you are ran into by a very happy Mason Shaw.

"Sorry Y/N! I didn't mean to I just wanted to say hi again!" He pulls you into a hug. "What do you think of all this?"

"Its really cool, he really worked hard on this." You reply as reavo also makes his way over. The rest of the boys follow and you stop to chat with Moose and Reavo while the others take turns racing up and down the rink trying to prove who the fastest one is.

"I think its nice to know that I have no chance in winning that. Not with Connor on the ice." Reavo says making both you and Moose laugh.

"I dont know Sammy has a pretty good chance too. I saw him play a lot at the U." You respond

"I agree but in all seriousness, you're probably the luckiest person on earth. Boldy can be sassy but he's so genuine that it almost makes up for it. When he knows something is important he gives 110 percent. Its my favorite quality of his," Moose responds.

"I don't think that they are the lucky one in this situation though, Boldy has found someone who has never given up on him and thats what he's always needed. I dont think most people could make it through the schedule. Y/N watching the two of you get close has been one of my favorite off ice moments. Even if we win the cup this year the whole team will remember today as a day worth celebrating." Reavo says hyping you up.

"I feel like I'm the lucky one here he has an amazing support system with you guys around. I'm just glad to be a part of it." You say as Reavo and Moose pull you into a hug. Mason Connor and Brandon notice and soon you are in a group hug with about 20 other guys.

After that you are met with a line of guys all waiting with a flower in hand. One by one each skates up and gives you a hug and the flower. A beautiful red rose just like the flowers Matt had gotten you on the night of your first date. At the end of the long line was the ever wonderful Jared Spurgeon. He handed you the last flower before you noticed that all of the boys except he, goose, Fleury, Kirill, and Mats had made their way out of the arena.

"We have one last note for you." Mats says, "the rest you have to do on your own."

You take the note from him and giggle as you read: "Hopefully this has been a fun little outing for you. I have one last question though. What if you hadn't agreed to move in with me this year? I spent a long time trying to figure out how I want to live my life and I hope you and I have similar plans. Maybe you can meet me at the house?"

"One last escort okay with you?" Jared asks, "I figured I would know the fastest way out of here since I've been here a while."

You smile and take his arm. He walks with you to the front doors before handing you one last thing. "Boldy asked me to give you this. He says its really important that you listen to it on the way back."

"Thanks Jared. I appreciate you walking me back." You respond taking the CD from his hands.

"My car was here so it worked out well." He smiles at you. As you turn to get into your car you hear "One final thing Y/N"

You turn around to look at him again "yes?"

"He really does love you. I think that you are one of the few things keeping him going these days. The season can be long but its easier when you have someone to come to. Remembering how I felt when I first started this job makes me really glad that he found you. He's matured since he met you and he fights for what he believes in now. His confidence is way better with you around so thank you."

"Thank you Jared, I think that we balance each other well. He's made me who I want to be and I plan on being around for a while," you respond.

"Well get on home! He's waiting." Jared says and you smile as you get into your car.

Jared was gone before you even had your seatbelt buckled but, before you left you turned on the CD that Matt made.

You laughed as Kid in Love by Shawn Mendes started playing. Matt had listened to you play it on your guitar many times and you smiled remembering the day you caught him singing it in the kitchen.

As you drove, more songs that you both loved played, making the drive seem way to quick. While you were excited to see what the rest of the day had in store you couldn't help but hope the drive continued.

As you made your way up the drive way you smiled to see the garage door already open. You parked and made your way inside to be greeted by your puppy Jax. Even with the crazy actions of the six month old puppy you didn't miss the note taped to his collar.

"Jax sit." The puppy stopped and sat waiting patiently for your next words. You grabbed the note from his collar and smiled as you read: "Can you let me outside please? Dad wouldn't let me go out with out you."

"Lets go outside Jax!" With that the little puppy went back to the jumping and overly excited animal you were used to. He lead you to the back door tail wagging and barking loudly.

(Matt's POV)

Jax alerted us that Y/N was inside which meant that my plan worked. I stood outside next to the tree that we had spent the night dancing under when we first moved here.

As Y/N walked out the back door I froze. They were perfect. Absolutely perfect.

I spent all morning getting this ready and I couldn't figure out what to do next. "Well hi Matt, how was your morning?" Y/N smiled at me as they came up to me.

"Mine was pretty busy." I say laughing, "how was yours?"

"Pretty crazy honestly. The love of my life set up the most beautiful morning for me and let me get to know his teammates who are wonderful escorts by the way."

"Im glad that they took care of you well." I responded smiling, "I hope that maybe I can do better than they did though."

(Your POV)

"How do you plan on doing that? Moose is a pretty smooth talker." You crack a smile and that seems to break the tension as he laughs as well.

"Will you go on a walk with me Y/N?" He whispers "I've got something to show you."

"Of course I will." You reply and with that he takes your hand and walks down to your dock. At the end is a beautiful set up with candles and flowers. Not to mention the roses leading all the way down the dock.

You smile as he leads you to the end. He stops and you can feel his hands shaking from nerves. You knew what was coming but waited, pretending not to notice your parents and siblings watching on the beach with his family and the rest of the team.

"Y/N I've spent the last few years getting to know you and I couldn't imagine spending any of the years ahead with out you." He takes a deep breath and continues. "I want to be there when you are sick and can't get out of bed. I want to be there on the days when the kids are being loud because they have friends over and the days after those when you are cranky in the morning because you didn't get any sleep. I want you to be there for me when I get another hattrick and I want you to be there for family skates and I want you to be with me forever."

He stops and gets down on one knee before finishing. "I want to be there on your wedding day. I want to take your hand after your dad walks you down the aisle. So with that being said, will you marry me?"

You smile as the tears start to fall slowly. "Matt I want to be there with you when our kids have their first day of school. I want to be there when you hit one thousand games. I want to be there to watch you break records. I want to be there when you can't find the back of the net. I want to be there when you are injured and when you go back to playing after injury." You take a deep breath as you feel the pressure in your chest release. "Yes I will marry you."

With those words said, cheers erupt from the beach as Matt picks you up and spins you around in a tight hug. He places his lips on yours and dips you backwards. You hold him tightly and smile through the kiss trying not to to chuckle as Connor Mason and Brandon make endless noise. Boldy then stood you up and placed the ring he had bought you on your finger before taking your hand. The rest of the younger boys joined in the cheering as you and Matt's parents sat quietly holding each other with tears in their eyes.

From the beach you hear Jared taking over dad role and yelling at all of them to stop rilling up the dog who had somehow managed to tackle Dumba. Both Jax and Dumba seemed to be okay with this though.

You make your way back up to shore and you notice that Dean Evason had also been standing on the beach. "The Minnesota Wild have one more gift for you." He states and hands you and Matt both a package. You opened them together to find matching Jerseys. Both with the name Boldy on them with the numbers 22-23 on the back.

In yours was a small note that said: congratulations to the two of you may this lead to many happy years ahead.

In yours was a small note that said: congratulations to the two of you may this lead to many happy years ahead.

[azsazz]

okay, replying to the long anon message this way so i can put it under the cut for spoilers :)

if it wasn't for fanfics of acotar i would have dropped it in acowar tbh, there were too many inconsistencies with the plot and characters and so many things that happened so the story moved forward but had no reason to happen, like it was out of nowhere and she prioritized romance over plot more and more each book and then prioritized smut in acosf over her own characters. i know ppl like that book but that was a shit characterization of nesta and cass and everyone that showed up almost and what for? to have a bunch of smut scenes that didn't actual help anything with nesta's development or the plot (i think it didnt even help with them getting together bc i would have prefered they actually started getting closer organically and then the tension starting after that) and she actually had a good idea with the valkyries but then the blood rite kinda cheapened it in my opinion bc they literally won with the power of friendship when sjm could have just skipped more time ahead (since they're immortal) and then when the 3 of them were realistically ready they could have won, and since the 3 bat boys winning was such an important thing i think if she really had to have that parallel than she could have wrote it better

i absolutely agree with this. and there's amazing examples of fantasy books where the smut hasn't ruined the plot and it's flow is great. but like, she's just cranking these books out with little thought i swear. and she can brag that she wrote cc3 in whatever like 6 weeks or some shit and then scrapped the whole thing. but like? sounds like a rush job to me? and how does she keep up with all these fucking characters because i can't. cc3 will make me lose my mind i swear. cass/ness had so much potential tbh i was here for it but acosf was a complete whirlwind of fuckery. and i get that it was no longer feyres pov or whatever but what the hell, that's not my cassian.

im glad you mentioned the bryce and az chapter bc i havent read that series and i dont want to but sjm is crossing them over to get people to read it (which makes me want to read it even less lol) and its just one more storyline she probably can't keep up with. like it's crazy how we still don't know so much about the acotar world or the characters, even rhys we still don't know how far his powers go or so much about his backstory and why? bc sjm doesn't care about building a character, i know it's a romance book but you can't just ignore every other aspect of the book

literally the only reason i read it was for the crossover. it was one of the worst books ive ever read and long as fuck too. did not need to be that long. i couldn't tell you a single thing that happened in it to be honest besides the fact that literally every man bryce came across had to make sure to mention how beautiful she is. fuck off with that shit fr.

also! this one is kinda me being picky maybe but the jokes about feyre having canned food in this setting with no other modern stuff is actually bad world building imo, i mean there were no signs of industry in the book and then a can of soup shows up out of nowhere? before other more basic stuff than would have to have shown up already? idk what that was about. that and the leggings, im not saying it's not possible for them to be there but to this day my mom calls them tights bc that's what they were called until a few years ago so seeing the word in the fantasy setting sjm had set up literally pulled me out of the book

OMG you're so right i never thought much of the soup can but you're so rightttt im actually dying that's so funny. yeah, leggings was stupid as fuck too, you're telling me they have synthetic stretchy fabric? be so fr rn

maybe im in a mood today too lol but i really just much prefer fanfiction over the books, in fact i only finished them bc since i was getting spoilers from fics and thought i might as well read them

i feel this so hard 💙

[cartoonrival]

Nrto/Brto for 3 10 & 17?

bro literally the wider naruto fandom sucks so bad idek where to begin

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

i dont have a specific example so instead im gonna give a general gripe about a trend that ive seen in many takes over time

the black and white thinking and refusal to think for half a second about characters other than ur faves Reminds Me Of Something!real ones know. the way people talk about any character with any sort of greyness to their morality kinda makes me crazy and i lowkey think ppl bring up kishimoto TOO MUCH in their discussion of the storys themes bc while obviously like its important to talk abt WHY he wrote it the way he did esp wrt nationalism and all, i think also it sort of dulls ur ability to think anything complex about it if u blame everything u dont like or think was "sloppily done" on kishimoto. judging every character based on kishimoto's morals instead of their own if that makes sense? its not like "the wrong way to do things" i just personally find it really boring when thats the only way youll look at a text. like no wonder you guys are constantly making jokes about how naruto sucks and you'd never recommend it, you wont even allow yourselves to think about the story as its own piece of art beyond just "kishimoto wrote it this way because he sucks" like do you ever think maybe youre killing some of the fun of media analysis... i think its why so many people hate sakura or kakashi or itachi or anyone else. and this always comes out in the way ppl characterize bc theyre like Um I've Fixed Them :) and then its the blandest shit ever because you absolutely refuse to work even slightly WITH the story you claim to love, only fighting tooth and nail against it.

some examples of what i mean w this: basically any conversation about itachi that tries to categorize him as either good or bad. basically any conversation about sakura that tries to do literally anything or nothing with her. people making sns blandly romantic as if the insane and inventive ways they talk about their feelings for each other in canon isnt genuinely part of what makes it so maddeningly fascinating and awesome. anyone who thinks kakashi is a bad teacher. its just this refusal to meet the characters where they are and think of anything in terms of the text itself rather than exclusively in a meta way, ie "this is how it would be if it was good." no its not. you just made it how it would be if it was bland and obvious. dont you literally think the fact that the guy writing it was accidentally writing his characters to be struggling against the same shit that he was struggling against irl and struggling to keep Out of his writing is like. wildly fascinating and part of waht makes the story intersting to pick apart. but ok. this also applies to aspects of boruto primarily sasusaku and naruhina marriages. no one gets it like i doooooo

10. worst part of fanon

everybodys always shipping kakashi with someone and its never even guy. if youre gonna ship kakashi it had better fucking be with guy bc theres gen srs no one else he would be caught dead romancing with and i cant even see how you could read any of his other relationships as romantic. he doesnt even HAVE a relationship with iruka. i get that not every ship has to have canon support but its all either 1) literally not even interesting to think about or 2) what they have actually going on is way more interesting but see my response to question 3. its the same with gaara honestly the more i think about it the more annoyed i get about the ignorance surrounding just-short-of-canon aroace gaara ToT like if u didnt know then ok... but you should learn because its awesome. i just thinking the shipping culture in the fandom is annoying like everyone has to be shipped with someone and that seems to come before their genuinely interesting relationships. and those genuinely interesting relationships are sanded down into something normal. idk this is a gripe that goes w Many Many fandoms but i feel like w naruto its particularly bad largely on account of See Previous Answer. ppl are like "its written this way bc kishimoto is homophobic i will fix this" then they make it suck because shockingly ik kishi actually wrote a good as fuck story if deeply flawed

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

ill be fr i dont gen seek out fics or art independently to be 100% sure that stuff i'd be looking for isn't out there somewhere. but i think ppl really really should just. think about sakura more. i literally love her sm but ppl won't think abt her beyond either 1) she sucks and i hate her (but this is because of kishimoto's writing and has nothing to do with me! if i rewrote naruto then she wouldn't be there 😌 this is a kindness to her and not because i cant be assed to think about a woman for 5 seconds) or 2) girlboss!!!! like.... is that scene in the land of iron not BIBLICAL to anyone else....??? is her devotion to someone she's lost faith in out of loyalty to someone she loves and is losing her ability to understand not FASCINATING???? TO ANYONE ELSE???? IS THE WAY SHE PICKS UP THE TRAITS OF HER TEACHER THAT HE SPECIFICALLY IS NOT MEANING TO PASS ON TO HER NOT HEARTWRENCHING???????? you people suck. instead you write ooc sns over and over and draw kakashi without his mask kissing fucking obito

[chronically-enthusiastic]

Sooo.... Below the read break is kinda my autism journey? Well masking journey probably. I did this both for myself, and for any other people out there who are looking for stories of other people and their experiences. And also a bit for the picrewcule bc ive posted some stuff about struggling with friendships recently and yeah..... :)

I was always the weird one in primary school... I was bullied in my first school, maybe a combination of autism and faith? But it led me to have to move schools... In my second primary school, people didnt bully me as overtly, but they would run away from me if I went near them and they called me unpleasant things. I was asked why I was weird quite a few times and my answer was that i had learnt how to interact in a normal way at my previous school, and now i am here and I dont know again... Which looking back was very self aware if me, but also very autistic of me....

I did find friends at that school, but they were so toxic and oftentimes mean that it would probably have been better for me to not have made friends at all....

Every time i went back after a half term, i would cry and plead with myself to just try to be normal. Theyll like me if im normal, they wont run away from me in the playground saying ive got the cheese touch. But each time I failed to make myself normal.

UNTIL!! i started high school. The mask fell into place in year 7. And it worked! No one was mean to me, infact I even found a few nice friends! But every time the mask dropped slightly accidentally i would feel so so bad inside, like i had done the worst thing ever and i had messed up forever.

Then year 8 came along. And masking all the time took its toll. I was crying every day needing to go to the library. I forgot what it was like to feel happy. I was so so tired and so so sad. I forgot who I was. Family friends were asking my parents if I was okay because i seemed so different and sad. And I would say im fine, because my life was fine. I had family who loved me, a school that I enjoyed, and friends who cared for me. I had no reason to be depressed.

Aannd then lock down happend. And that possibly maybe saved my life. I wasnt at that point yet, but I think I was on that trajectory. I found myself again in lockdown! Thats the short of it! Yay!

Then school started up again and i masked again, and i started going downhill again. Fast forward to yr11 when I was missing so many lessons because of anxiety/overstimulatiin.... And people noticed this time and I got therapy! Halfway through therapy me and my therapist seperately came to the conclusion that I was probably autistic. And everything made sense.

I started to lower the mask and almost immediately lots of my anxiety ceased. I started to learn who I was again, and I felt so much happier. And now? Im in a new school without anyone I know and ive dropped the mask almost entirely.

First weeks are always hard for me. I was expecting to need to miss almost every lesson this week and to be crying constantly. Ive gone to every lesson and this week has been about as bad as a normal week at my old school. I have support now.

Masking really took its toll and I am so glad Im in a position that I dont need to anymore. I dont want to end up back where i was in year 8, or yr 11. But it does mean its harder to find friends.... But as you have said, its better to have friends who know the real me and who like the real me than friends who like a mask.

[lollitree]

Your tags under the pokemon poll are SO TRUEE and it hurts how many people dont understand that

I grew up in the change from pixel art to 3D and have nostalgia for bw, xy AND sm. So i think because of that, I can see the good and bad in all the games but don't feel like any of them 'peaked''. They're all different games, so they are really hard to compare.

On a related note tho, its so sad to see so many fans praise one of my childhood games and not the others. And like, I get it because gen 5 is more similar to what they grew up with.....but every time I say I love xy, sm and even swsh i get told they are terrible and usually imply that I shouldnt like them :/

That only happens online, though......irl all the fans ive met, no matter their ages, just say something like 'i didnt like it, but i'm glad you did!'. Growing up in irl fan spaces and having to move online during corona was AN EXPERIENCE omg

Yeah! It's super interesting how much we are affected by nostaglia.

There's usually a pattern you can notice with this stuff too. There are two lines that go up as time goes on. The one everyone talks about as being great and the newer one people hate on, usually to do with nostalgia of the now older original audience of the game.

My full reply got long so putting it under a read more skfjsh

My first Pokemon game was Colosseum, so gen 2/3 pokemon and gen 3 sound effects are pretty nostalgic to me.

Then I grew up mostly playing Diamond/Platinum/PMD2/Ranger2. I LOVED Team Galactic. I restarted the games so many times just so I could play through the story again with Cyrus and the Galactic Grunt theme. (I have also played through pmd2 many many times). I remember in my early teens seeing people on the internet hating on DPPt a lot and it making me sad. I recall someone saying that the gen 4 Pokemon sucked and I remember thinking "aw I guess they're right, some of these pokemon are really boring or annoying" and then I learned later that the pokemon I was thinking of were all gen 1 pokemon sdfkjsh

Gen 5 was hated when it first came out because it wasn't very fun for new players. I bet it also didn't help that the advertising for B2W2 was pretty poor and also came out after the 3DS did. I didn't even know it was a sequel until years later. That's why they went in the complete opposite direction for gen 6, and added gimmicks!

I have heard multiple people call the designs from gen 5 horrible over the years (And they're all wrong). Those comments are nowhere NEAR as frequent now, but they almost always come from people with nostalgia for the ones they grew up with.

I was 13 when BW first came out. I think I've only beaten it once, MAYBE twice. I'm not entirely sure why, because I was still replaying DPPt a lot. I would guess it's because the game is super linear in terms of gameplay and every playthrough will start exactly the same. You don't really get to make decisions on your team and how you play until later. Kid me loved the beginning of the main pokemon games the most because they were the most fun bits to play usually. So I suppose when you've already played it once, the beginning becomes quite boring.

And to compare. I did not like XY when it first came out. I was 16 and very against change and also my fav types at the time were dark and dragon so fairy type was the worst thing ever. I said previously that I really liked Team Galactic, so Team Flare was just a bootleg version of them to me. BUT I did immediately replay the game when I finished it. The character customisation plus the huge dex gives the game a lot of replayability. Because while I didn't like a lot about the game it was still fun to play, and it was the first time online was really accessible to me. I went back to 2013/2014 on my blog and there's SO much positivity about the game it's amazing! Over time people only remembered the bad parts and started hating it. I bet there'll be an influx of nostalgia for it before long. We can even see it in the hope people have for SV having Kalos DLC.

I need to replay sun/moon or play USUM because in my brain currently it sucks. But I'm very aware that that's because I only played it once, it's been years, and I played it when I started to grow out of Pokemon. So I'm excited to play it again now that I can appreciate it better. (Also the Sun/Moon anime is my fav so I have a lot of love for the characters now)

And finally, I loved SWSH! I didn't finish it the first time I tried to play it. Mostly because I spent HOURS trying to get a shiny hatenna before doing the fire gym skdfjhs. But then I SPED through the game with a bug type only run before Legends came out and I really enjoyed the story! One of those things that's more enjoyable if you're only focused on enjoying the story (and playing the game through with a joltik as the lead and trying to make sure they stay strong enough to beat the game with pfft) Also Leon was the first ever Champion I actually thought was cool and enjoyed seeing while playing the game (as ridiculous as his outfit is)

If I were to logically plot out the best for me based on how nostalgia works and taking into consideration that public opinion ABSOLUTELY influences me. I would have said BW was the best and XY(or SM) was the downfall, even though I had way more fun playing XY than BW as a kid

[pinazee]

what do you think of snw making spock and chapel official even if he never broke it up with tpring? Spock is now some kind of polygamist.

so what these writers are saying is that chapel was spock's side-chick 10 years ago and she was the woman he went it when he took a break from tpring.

this show braged about writing so called strong female characters but somehow they are okay with making chapel the side chick since spock has never called it off with tpring.

I ship spock/uhura and wanted more het pairing for spock and kirk but I am glad uhura is not chapel here in SNW. No way will I be happy if uhura was in an open affair with spock while he had a fiancé, especially as a black female character, some may just call her a bed wench.

As for Chapel, I just dont think she was ever destined to be a good female character.

she was disliked in TOS for having an unrequited feeling for spock and now in snw, she dates him but with another woman still in his life. an affair

this is bad and for spock, I feel this is one of his worst arcs. Kirk wont juggle two women talkless of spock.

Honestly, ive hated the chapel/spock plot since the beginning. I wish they would’ve established their friendship in season 1, and given Chapel more of a history or arc unrelated to her romantic plot which seems to dominate her character. Or even, showed us more about how she keeps her distance from romantic interests like she did in the beginning with that guy at the bar. And maybe by around the end of season 1 does she suddenly have her epiphany of sonofabitch that unfeeling bastard made me feel something.

And spock having feelings for her seems really rushed. I think they should have used this episode for him to only now realize oh hey, this chapel person stirs something in me. I wanted him to spend more time figuring out what exactly those feelings were. Was he just close to her because she was his friend or was it something more? Should he explore those feelings or should he suppress them because they were illogical? There wasn’t enough of a battle for me there.

And im not anti spock/chapel per say. I, personally, read their situation in TOS as them both having feelings for each other at some point or another but Spock either didnt want to give in to those feelings or didn’t want to start something with her he knew he couldnt commit to. So to have them hook up essentially in the past and then split (because we know its doomed) could have added some context to TOS but the way it was handled made them both seem sloppy and they deserved better than that.

So at the moment, im mostly just curious how they plan to end it. What long game are the writers playing with spock to bring him back to his vulcan discipline? How does that play in with chapel and does it? Until the series ends, I’m (mostly) reserving judgment and trusting they have a plan. Once it ends though all bets are off haha

[asahicore]

haha, I'm sorry for stressing you out.

I love extraordinary you too. I ended up still having some unanswered questions, but overall I enjoyed it so much. especially because haru is such a pretty boy. 🤧

omg, that is so exciting!! actually doom at your service is in my top 5, with strong woman do bong soon, melting me softly, descendants of the sun and maybe vagabond. some honorable mentions are hometown cha-cha-cha, may I help you, love in the moonlight and crash course in romance. now I see what I put you through, I'm so sorry.

then, what are some kdramas that you disliked. I've noticed a pattern in mine: those before 2010. I mean, I don't dislike them all (coffee prince is one that I enjoyed a lot), but for example full house or secret garden had me wanting to punch a wall most of the time.

— ☕️!

srsly why is it so stressful to choose fav dramas 😭 its like with movies or songs, theres too many to choose from!!

putting a read more bc i talked so much bahahha

and right omg i watched extraordinary you at the beginning of lockdown and i fell in love with haru/rowoon so bad that i started stanning sf9 after that, i was such a big fan of them that whole year hahahaha, and yeah it does have some plot holes but honestly the romance was so cute i didnt even mind

gosh we've seen such different dramas hahaha i havent seen any in your top 5! ofc ive heard about strong woman though, and thats also on my list. crash course in romance was so fun i rmb watching it as it came out and i really loved their romance but god the murder mystery side plot is not for me 😭 i dont usually mind a mix of genres but romance with thriller isnt my thing i guess, i like it better when they're seperate. and love in the moonlight omg i watched it ages ago, and actually i dont rmb anything about it so ig that tells you its def not one of my favs 😭 i usually love historical dramas but i think the female lead disguised as eunuch trope is not for me either !

and omg, i havent ever watched a drama from before 2010 actually, bc ive heard that theyre such a product of their time and have like really sexist/fatphobic etc undertones with like toxic male leads and plot lines that just drag on and on bahaha, coffee prince is such a classic though i should watch it!!

for me its pretty rare that i dont like a kdrama cause if im not into it then i'll just drop it and forget about it, but one that i did watch and hated til the end was cheese in the trap because the male lead in insaaaaaane literally a psychopath and the female lead (park goeun bless her heart) is so wishy-washy, worst case of second lead syndrome i ever got in my life!! im going through my watched kdramas, and a lot that ive seen i remember enjoying as i watched but they just didnt stick with me afterwards. i rmb being super frustrated with love alarm, nevertheless (but that one wins back points for incredible casting/side stories/overall vibes lol, im actually considering rewatching...) and itaewon class! then some that i fully stopped watching are love in contract, she would never know, arthdal chronicles, detectives of seonam girls' high school and hotel del luna. i also stopped watching goblin and tale of the nine-tailed around ep 10 but i do plan on picking them back up at some point lol

[averysmolkirbo]

ok so im not sure what the hell happened here or what my mom's intentions really were here but when i got my neurodivergence testing they also did a depression test idk just cuz and while i eventually found out i had both adhd and asd i was never updated on the depression part of the test. i figured they just didnt have any results on it or something so i wasnt super worried about it. (In hindsight tho, im pretty sure i said directly to the person testing me that "the only reason i havent k1lled myself yet is because there's nothing in our house to do it" as in, i was totally willing to, but just didnt have a method of doing so which probably shouldve at least raised SOME kind of red flag. like i literally just admitted i was su1c1dal and you seemingly dont care??)

so like a couple years later. I just happen to be going through some stuff in my room and find my report, and just decide to read out of curiosity, just see what it actually says.

revelation number one, there WAS results on the depression test. like an entire portion of the results was that.

revelation number two, the results said i was CLINICALLY DEPRESSED.

I WAS NEVER FUCKING TOLD THAT PART????

i asked my mom about it, and she point blank said SHE THOUGHT IT WASNT IMPORTANT????? TO YOU, MAYBE! BUT I DONT KNOW IT WOULDVE BEEN FUCKING NICE TO KNOW THAT I HAD A LITERAL MENTAL DISORDER AND WASNT JUST A LAZY PIECE OF SHIT??? I HAD TO COME TO THAT CONCLUSION BECAUSE I HAD SPENT LIKE 2 YEARS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME AND COULDNT FIND ANYTHING OTHER THAN JUST CONCLUDING IT WAS MY FAULT. BRO. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME & PAIN I COULDVE SAVED IF I WAS JUST TOLD IN THE FIRST PLACE.

here's a quote from a rant note i made to myself when all this happened that i think describes this best;

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PERFECTLY FUCKING GOOD TIME & HOW MANY PERFECTLY GOOD OPPORTUNITIES FUCKING IVE LOST OVER THE LAST 3 YEARS BECAUSE I BELIVED IT WAS *MY* FAULT?? I HAVE LOST LITERAL YEARS BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WHO WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME DECIDED TO LEAVE OUT THE MOST IMPORTANT FUCKING PIECE OF INFORMATION FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES."

like ive seriously passed up so many 'normal' milestones i couldve hit if someone just fucking bothered to help me.

- i could never learn to drive properly because i had to leave my driving school because i kept having panic attacks while trying to drive

- i never got any kind of job

- I barely ever did things with the few friends i had

- i didnt do anything extracurricular and was doing the bare minimum in school because i was exhausted and miserable all the time.

i thought all of this was my fault, for like, YEARS??? like it was literally tearing me apart having to accept that nothing was wrong with me and that i was just ACTUALLY lazy and stupid and useless.

but worse than the fact that i was kept in the dark (willingly, btw), worse than all of the things i had lost because of this, the worst thing was still NOBODY was willing to help. when i confronted my mom about it (and oh yea i fucking hate confrontation btw) she first lied, then pretended like it wasnt an issue, and THEN refused to get any kind of help for it. she was all like "i dont want you on more cuz i dont want you to get worse" well first, im not even taking half of the stupid pills i have, so thats not an issue, and second, i dont think you understand there was 'worse' at that point. there was literally nothing to lose.

so yea, kinda hurts knowing the people you loved and trusted and were supposed to take care of you actually dont understand the first thing about you and seemingly dont care that much about you back and that you really are alone because of that.

Not telling your kid they have a learning disability, chronic illness, mental illness etc. so they can “feel normal” actually does the opposite. They will not feel normal if they do not have the context to understand that their normal will be different from that of their peers.

[x---23]

everytime i post about my sexual dream stuff i feel like people are gonna read it and go oohh this bitch has repressed trauma and is trying to coppeeee dude im being full deadass when i say its just paranoia. like i know the whole Not Knowing What Happened thing is a symptom of Something Happened but i spent years trying to open my brain up to see if anything did. the only fucking lead ive ever had is a faint memory of some old man putting his hand down my pants as a kid, and thinking to myself ‘why am i not affected by this’. theres no context for the start, theres no context for the end, and i only think i know who it is cuz thats who i said it was(but the memory itself is like a photocopied mess at this point, im just remembering what i remember remembering). most of my memories work on that logic anyway, so theres no way of fucking knowing if anything else happened or not.

and what i finally realized last night, after going thru so many of my other memories as a kid, is that if something else happened i wouldnt have let it happen. i was smart, strong, and aware. even tho for a moment i let myself be curious, i still knew when things were wrong. and im confident in knowing i didnt learn about sex till later

in my decade of watching porn, nothing ever got triggered. in my decade of sexual dreams, nothing ever got triggered. so maybe theres just nothing there.

fuck this all just sounds like excuses

i think i just worry that someday maybe it’ll become a problem, like im always worried for the worst, if its secretly something horrible, and thatll be stuck to my brain for the rest of my life…people talk about trauma as this painful thing they can never truly recover from, as something thats always there just waiting to be triggered. thats terrifying to me.

but also, wouldnt the memory be old n faded at this point? a lot of my memories cant even be recalled even if someone shows me a picture, they have to be ones i think about more than once to sorta get a picture. even then, its just barely snapshots. hell, i can remember shit ive completely imagined in my own head clearer than shit ive experienced irl. at this point it’d likely just feel like remembering a bad dream.

[tinukis]

NO SO TRUE THERES SOMETHING ABT SANJI AND ASL BROTHERS??:??

sanji needs mfs that had family issues (ace, sabo, luffy, usopp, etc maybe 😭😭.....) also whenever youre not tired i would eat up a sabosan analysis like oh my god? + ive read a couple of ur analysis before which is like crack to me

also ngl i thought about sabosan Again today specifically because i saw a post on twt abt "what does sanji have without cigarettes when hes shaking" or smth like that which is him scratching his head vigorously... and that made me think about sabo for some reason like- sabo specifically helping sanji to not. Do that bc i imagine sabo had done that multiple times especially when it comes to trying to remember something. as if sabo's trying to dig into his brain to get something he might have lost

but anyway !! ALSO THE PARALLEL TO ASL'S CHILDHOOD AND WCI. having the WORST goodbyes to their family(strawhats, ace and luffy) turning their backs on them to go with a family they loathe in order to save them...😭 (god imagine how luffy felt the moment sanji turned his back on him– like he went extremes to get sanji back. yes everything was for sanji but you Cannot tell me luffy wasnt thinking about sabo. and i KNOW that sanji reminds luffy of sabo. (reminded me of a fic, idr what, where sanji and luffy talk and luffy brings up sabo bc thats who he was reminded of when it came to sanji) anyway on top of sanji leaving and doing everything for him, i feel that the amount of ppl leaving luffy during his childhood Really added on top of that, especially when sabo left) ok i sound like a broken record but u get the point... right? right???;

also sabo being great for sanji is sooo>>>>>> (minuscule, and what im abt to say is just pure headcanon but another thing abt sabosan and their bio family is that sabo hid the fact that he had a family and was a noble. he was even scared abt what ace and luffy would think. but they just picked their noses and were like "so what?" while sanji didnt mean to hide that he Was a vinsmoke but it was revealed at the worst time. sanji was definitely scared to let the strawhats know. he'd keep telling himself that he will tell them bc he trusts them but he was def scared of what theyd think. also if sabosan Ever had a conversation about this... i'd like to think sabo would laugh. not at sanji, but at himself because theyre just... so alike.) it's not easy letting walls down, certainly not for sabo and sanji (considering they refrained from crying in front of luffy... sabo cried after reuniting with luffy. sanji cried when luffy shouted he cant become pirate king without him-)

certainly theres a lot the two could bond over and i need more people to see the sabosan potential 😭😭 LIKE AT THE VERY LEAST SANJI KNOWS OF SABO'S EXISTENCE !!! (post wci) anyway

acesan and lusan are very cool and enjoyable i love both a lot

but what about sabosan.... think about it (please)

both similar in multiple ways

born in a royal/noble family and absolutely Loathes them and wished they were never born from such family

aesthetically they fit rlly well

certainly ace can understand sanji's self worth issues Deeply. and luffy well... he was basically the light sanji needed. luffy didn't like him just for his cooking, but he was especially interested because of sanji's kindness

sabo can heavily relate to royal/noble problems and refuses to ever be considered one. AND THEY BOTH PROTECTED THE ONES THEY LOVED BY STICKING TO THEIR FAMILY'S SIDE.

and also the uncanny similarities to both his brothers ace and luffy... ace especially now that sabo has inherited his powers. they're both different though. sabo seems a little bit more proper and has this unique charm. and the love/care he has for luffy is so... fond? he seems to have a more tamer way of approaching things (till sanji realizes hes not That tame and is a hot head/rages easy.)

sabo has a goal and he's somewhat more kept together than his other brothers. hes resolve is outstanding as a freedom fighter AND hes the second commander of the revolutionary army??? fucking SWOONS (ok lowkey this just mostly me on my knees for sabo but not my fault im in love w each ASL brothers)

and like just... imagine sabo and sanji meeting for the first time. sabo introduces himself to sanji similar to what ace did.... and lighting up his cigarette but maybe a little closer 👀

sabo walking up to sanji, who is a bit startled with sabo's height- towering over him... and his finger is light with fire and just casually lights sanji's cigarette with the softest smile he's ever seen what the FUCK

and sabo's reaction to sanji yelling at luffy and usopp is a little different yet similar to ace's too... sabo chuckling and saying "hey why don't you go a little easier on 'em? they're still young." he just sounds so sweet... and in his eyes you could just tell he's reminiscing on the past.

"if i did, they'd never learn... not that they ever learn."

"would you like a hand?"

im so hfjhwmdhwjwww

[qualityempathshoebear]

2022, a crashing rollercoaster

Hey you,

its been a while. Ok yeah, maybe a little more than "a while". The year is over, and i think its time to reflect. But first, let me catch you up on everything thats happened since I last came on here.

Im still in Leeds, and will realistically stay here until I leave for University. Youre probably wondering what happened, why im not in Singapore. Well... my dads job didnt think he had enough experience, so what was supposed to be a delay, turned into a cancellation. So I have basically had to go to a school i wasnt supposed to be at in the first place, for a whole half-year. It was absolutly horrible and I had no friends. There were three (sometimes four) nice girls who I would sit with during snack and lunch. But it was almost always just us sitting in silence or me going on the computer in front of me, so I didnt look like an absolute fucking loser. I would go on VG and read the news every day and must have looked like such a loner to the people behind me. The girls were nice, but I didnt feel like we ever got to know eachother, I felt so fake the entire time.

And dont get me fucking started on the morning forms. I fucking hated coming in there just to sit in awkward silnce while staring ahead. And those horrible meditation sessions that the form tutor would do. I would just sit there with my hands in my lap, hoping for it to end. The girl sitting next to me was nice tho. I think she could tell I wasnt enjoying myself. I can honestly say I had no friends in that place, and that it was single-handedly the worst school experience I had ever had. And I know parts of it was my fault. I wasnt willing to make friends because everything felt so temporary. Even being in England still does. But wait, why are you talking in past tense? Im happy you asked. You see, I begged my dad to send an email to IB headquarters and ask to get the official copy of my diploma so I can apply directly into college (Englands equivalnce to highschool), without having to take their middle school exam (because fuck that!). And it luckily arrived on the last day of chistmas break... so I dropped out.

The plan now is that im going abroad to stay with my aunt until september, because I honestly just cant deal with staying in this horribly sad country. Everything about it is sad. The weather, the food, the disgustinly chlorinated water, the people, the buildings, even their fucking buildings are sad. I just cant fucking deal with it, It so similair to back home. No, its ven worse here. What was even the point of moving.

I have been so incredibly stressed because of the whole situation and its really taken a tole on me. I have had so much anxiety, to the point where I cant even sleep at night without panicking. Im constantly tired, I have lost so much weight, I have a breast infection in both my breasts (to be fair, I did have it before coming here), im depressed, and honestly, a little sui*idal.

To make matters worse, my parents have become religous freaks. And its definelty not helping that my mom has befriended some super religous woman, with the same background as us. Theyre making me do some weird post-menstruation shower ritual every fucking month (yes, theyve been tracking my period, gross!). Dont get me wrong, I dont actually end up doing them. I protest for a while and then I lie and pretend like ive done it. Around two weeks ago my dad came to my room to tell me to do the ritual, and I told him I couldnt because I was sick (and i actually was). Long story short, he didnt believe me and started yelling at me. I told him he was pressuring me into becoming religious. He freaks out and basically threatens me and pushes me (at some point even yanking my phone out of my hands, saying hes going to take it from me). All this while my mom watches and doesnt do anything besides saying my dads name and grabbing his arm every now and them. She even left at some point, but made sure to come back to gaslight and guiltrip me. I told her that if anyone touched me ever again I would call the cops immidielty. I havent really spoken to dad since. Its honestly really strained the relationship with my parents, and its making me realise that we will never have a normal relationship. In some ways I wish I could just be religous so I could save myself the anger, stress, and constant fighting with my parents. But whenever I give the idea further thought, I cringe. Even religion is ruined for me because of them. I feel that I shouldnt be religous, as revenge. The only way I could ever see myself becoming religous, is if I married a muslim man, and he helped me heal from all this fucking trauma. But I dont think I will do that. The only upside is that he wouldnt leave me, because of the stigma of divorce in muslim communities. But heck, I honestly just want to be loved. As gross and sappy as that sounds.

This year was supposed to be filled with laughs, new starts, new frienships, money, and much more. And instead I got none of it. I dont know, maybe this is what I deserve. Its safe to say that 2022 was my worst year yet. There were some highs, but mostly lows. Real fucking lows.

Im honestly just happy that I get to leave this wet-red brick country (even if its just temporarly), and hopefully in the meantime, my dad will get a job somewhere else so we can leave. If not, University is my only way out.

Now youre pretty much all cought up with whats worth to be cought up on. Before I leave, Ill share my new years resolutions and what I hope to focus on in 2023.

New years resolutions:

-Drink 2L of water a day, Gain weight, Workout once a week, Grow finger and toe nails, start daily journal, Grow hair and repair hairline, Get a new hobby, Grow eyebrows and eyelashes, Read 3 books, Solve Cains Jawbone, Clear skin, and to watch a musical live.

And in 2023 I hope to repair (as much as possible) my mental and physical health.

That would be all for now, until next time! <3