#🌑 obscure journal ☽

[obscureother]

for those who struggle with other people's characterization of your f/o:

you dont have to listen to those headcanons or that lore. you dont have to take them in, or even consider them if you dont want to. those are not to be forced on you or your f/o, and anyone who does is not very cool. your f/o is YOUR f/o. you get to decide what headcanons or lore to follow, be that only yours, other people's, or a little bit of both, but if you don't want something on your f/o for any reason, you dont have to keep them. if you dont like it, if you dont agree with it, if you think its downright wrong, or if youre just uncomfortable then you dont have to listen to them. your f/o is yours, and that means they only follow how you interpret them. no one knows your f/o the way you do.

those other people dont see what you do. they dont get what you do. they dont know. theyre wrong about your f/o. theyre thinking of some other silly version that isnt yours, so they dont know nothin' about your f/o. they dont have any right to force those headcanons down your throat, nor do you have to take them from them. even if its the whole community, that doesnt mean theyre right about your f/o or that youre wrong. that just means a lot of people see your f/o differently. different isnt bad, but that doesnt mean you have to consider it too if you dont want to. you and your f/o can just be different together, knowing each other how you do and going on your daily lives. you dont have to fight to be valid, or for your f/o to be viewed "right" by other people who dont get it. your f/o is not going to be upset if you dont start a war in the comments of a post. in fact, your f/o would rather not put you through the stress or get you into trouble with someone for something not worth you or your f/o's time and energy. you could be talking to them, or doing fun cool things together instead. they dont worry about those people, so you dont have to either. they know thats not how you see them, and youre the only one who matters to them.

your f/o knows the way you see them, and they know that you understand them the way you do for a reason. they know you're right, because they are your f/o. thats how they are if you think they are, because they're yours. your f/o is your f/o. . how you know them, because theyre yours and only yours.

[obscureother]

the obscure mom woke me up cos she found these goobers on our porch.

we're keeping them.

@peter-newkirks-smolder

[obscureother]

the only headcanons that are canon to my f/o are the ones i give them.

[obscureother]

f/o reminding you that no matter how you cuddle or hold them, they will never get tired of you giving them. f/o would love to lay on your chest, or stomach, or right below your head. f/o would also love if you laid on their chest, or stomach, or right below their head. or maybe one of you buries into the other's back or shoulders!! they would be ok with that too.

you could sandwich each other silly style in biceps or thighs, and they would still love your cuddles or how you hold each other. dont suffocate each other tho. (. . ;)

f/o loves to be close to you, however you guys choose that way to be. they will never want you to stop or go away, or let go. . except for maybe when youre suffocating each other too hard, then maybe reposition a little bit, BUT THEYRE OK. they would still rather cuddle or be close to you than not. uvu

[obscureother]

things one f.o. does but not the others. .

long post, so there's a keep reading below. though there are some that are technically done or shared between two f/os, most of these things are very odd or exclusive to only those one or two. ill probably edit onto this or reblog should other f/os develop, but i just noticed some odd things of them that i thought i would drop into a post for my own entertainment on them.

those things talked about are things between the f/o versions of the characters though, things specific only to the versions of the characters that live in my brain or how they work as little people i like to pretend exist even tho they dont lol. theres going to be some weird meta lore in there.

Gerik:

has a golden aura.

the only one getting away with the polar opposite tendency of my comfort aesthetic that doesnt scare me.

proto-f/o era, was part of a larger group of other versions of his character but the only one who stuck. there was one other version of "The Phantom" that stayed, though that f/o retired shortly before the other f/os started to develop or i got into other things.

Dracula:

acquires sunglasses and umbrella during daytime.

has an au form sometimes seen in f/o version. (most f/os may have alternate looks from canon sources, like 🥓, but they are not normally "fanon" or fan-sourced/off canon and do not effect the f/o version of them.)

proto-f/o. didn't know he was there until one night i was so new to the whole f/o thing going on in my head that i just realized he was there too.

Vonna:

though he does show up in other instances too, he generally only shows up in one. he never misses showing up whenever im lost in hallucinations or the dark of them. but he does not show up all the time other than that.

Conrad:

the one f/o most capable of reeling me back into a comfort space whenever i feel like im drifting too far from safe colors or aesthetics for me. (he is, visually and conceptually, the epitome of the comfort things i cling to every day.)

Aethelwolf:

tends to tag team with another f/o (💀) though they do not interact together much or exist together by default.

god i hate pink, but in his context, he's the exception i love. probably because it alternates with purple on his form.

has playlist of songs only related to him from roleplay lore from other person.

Fred Krueger:

started a whole genre of f/os. . not even my normal type. i almost did not like him at first.

floats around regularly (f/os normally base to something like the floor or furniture. floating normally means my brain is too tired to process them anchored to something but he does it when other f/os are able to anchor.)

dreams where he exists, he tends to know about like he was "there." not all f/os just know when they were in dreams or not.

has one alternate look from non-canon material (very well-known artist among other fred fans. love their art.)

⚫:

By far the most odd of f/os in terms of how he works and exists as a whole. His entire existence is a mystery. To this day, I am still trying to figure out how he works or what he is to me. He ghosted originally back in very early 2023 (I think. To be honest, he could have even showed up earlier than that in 2021, but it is too hard to say and I believe the evidence I would have used to find that has been altered with or lost.)

He just. . knows things? Everything? Like he always did, like he was always there? And in a way he was, but he was so suppressed. I don't know how he formed without me totally knowing it.

Total enigma. I could not even begin to describe how odd he is. The oddest f/o.

May have a black shadow/smoke aura on him? Not very certain.

Barton:

lore is mostly from me and my own headcanons. One of most obscure f/os probably for the longest time lol.

Inkubus:

first f/o to RUN OVER the processing of another. He and ⛓ both collided right about the same time on me, but somehow his development pushed over ⛓'s and slowed him down a lot. The two of them were both very wonky for a bit before they were collected together. He had to be tossed back into the processor to get fixed.

f/o is collaborated from version developed with other person. (f/os do not normally take much influence from other people. The version done with the other person, however, for inkubus, stuck very well and fit along with his canon self well enough for me that he is technically an alternate version of the canon, and yet close enough to fit the canon that the f/o version of him took a lot from both.)

there constantly. all the time. he is so automatic that i do not have to consciously think or summon him up, he is just there. forever. either right next to me, or outside the door.

🥞:

took the longest to develop (or perhaps just felt that way to.)

to this day, i also dont know why he's there lol. he is good company though.

borders between an aesthetic normally uncomfy for me but on the inside, to look deeper onto him, one recognizes there is the comfort aesthetic under there hidden below the one he projects on himself.

Jason Voorhees:

originally known from a source not of his own franchise, but following the source he originally comes from officiated him becoming f/o. his f/o version, however, is still mostly built off of the source that i know him from.

technically this bullet should also go under 🥓 too, but he is the only f/o to have a canon relationship with/against another f/o.

Data:

most background f/o (excluding the odd exception of ⚫), but f/o nonetheless.

other than ⚫, also helps the most with how the processor and my brain works with other f/os.

though not all the time, also sometimes has a sort of particle or glowing effect around him of dark space.

comes with sub-f/o, Spot.

Newkirk:

oh god what an oddball development he was. very odd throwback f/o. did not develop normally like other f/os, though otherwise works fairly normally for the most part. only some things does he do oddly that others do not work for.

also kicked off other group of f/os.

Joey:

only other f/o (exception from 🖤 so far) to be somewhat influenced by other person. though f/o has other forms that are not related to other person, there was enough effect from other prson for f/o version to take some alternate form from them.

can go through other f/os like literal ghost. layers on top of them or through them.

floats regularly.

developed the fastest from very little (other than 🎩)

only f/o where watching related source that does not have f/o present counted for development or engagement with them.

Rodger:

the most obscure f/o. existed for less than two minutes before f/o, oml. took less than week to form f/o.

most alternate forms from things ive done for him.

toppled over other f/o's development. He and 🪦 both developed very close together, though took less time than 🪦 because of having less source to absorb over time. they cook like buns in the oven. he had less dough to work on.

[obscureother]

i can have whatever f/os i want cos momma said so.

[obscureother]

if the headless horseman likes em little, likes em big, part in the middle or a wig, black or white or even red. .

then why do i need to feel insecure about the rest of the body ive got, head or not?

[obscureother]

the obscure mom being cool again because she suggested having one of my f/os with me during this horrible college presentation i have to do and i didnt even realize it until she told me twice who she was talking about because i wasnt expecting her to encourage me to use them.

she goes "have one of your buddies with you. who do you think would best help you on that?"

and im just confused because this presentation i have to do by myself and im like "uh. . idk. . yeah. . uhm. . ??" i thought she meant when i was practicing for it or something, like my roommates.

and idk, she either realized i didnt know how to respond or what and goes "who was richard's character?"

and i take a second. richard? who on earth is she talking about, i dont know any richards that she knows about. .

". . like Richard Dawson. . ?" <- who she kind of remembers me being into a little bit? kind of knows about when i liked him for a character years ago at one point before f/o made a comeback or something?? he's one of the actors of f/os.

"Yeah."

". . you mean newkirk?"

"Yeah! Have him stand with you in the class. Talk like he does, he knows what he's talking about."

". . oh. :"0 <33"

bro i didnt think she would remind me of those guys ;; <33 got me like this for real:

"richard's character." ^

the thing is she normally even remembers their names and who they are. i love my mom, guys.

[obscureother]

here's to my mom being cool and reassuring me that having little people living in my brain is ok and that its ok to be wonky brain and helping me figure out how to get counseling because omg i need it, we've been trying to get me tested for years and even tho we have no idea how tf my brain works or why she does her best to help through it regardless.

[obscureother]

me: *about to hold f/o's hand but doesnt b/c fish sticks with crumbies.* wait no i cant, i have fish stick fingees. .

✈: darlin', i don't care about your fish stick fingers. just 'old me 'and. *holds hand despite the poor sweater now with the crumbies.*

me: but-? otay. 😔 <3

[obscureother]

the f/orth.

Though this post is going to be kind of odd compared to other posts i normally put, the fourth has become important enough for me to throw out on there. we're going to ignore how it is technically the fifth now on central time, i got home late from the fireworks lolol.

this is your heads up for the very long post, though it does have relevance to f/os if that would be relevant to keep reading for you.

below the moon.

🌑

forgive me for the odd wording of the blog, i go through these weird things where fear comes from certain letters or words to me for these kinds of things. moving on. .

i was doing some thinking on the fourth of july. i realized that though im not very patriotic, there's still some part of me that does look forward to the fourth. dont get me wrong, america is cool, freedom, woo. but, im not really super into that kind of stuff for identity or waving flags or whatnot. not my thing, though there was always something about fireworks that entranced me and often left a mark on my goofy lil brain blob. ive got numerous memories related to them. those i wont go into because theyre personal and yall dont need to read through all that. the thing im getting to though, is that all those memories moreso related to family than patriotism or "freedom woo, eagles with guns," woh-woh.

one of those memories, the relevant one to this blog, is that of when i told my mom that i had f/os.

ok listen, so fictional crushes in general arent new to her. she's known about every fictional crush ive had ever, even the worst ones. (cough, looking at you, 🥞 + 🥓, cough.) Though mom didnt always care for those movies or those topics, those goofy characters i got into and wouldnt shut up about for months or even years at a time, she always supported me. she was the one who told me "someone's gotta love the villains." that it's ok to be into weird, morbid, dark shit or horror, or gore, or whatever. that even tho she didnt think robert englund was hot in the slightest, OR bela lugosi. . gerard butler, he was ok tho. she would always be there for the goofiness about them i had. she got me merch of them, movies, those things i related to them for. i've got a cool mom, guys. for those who need one, ill share but you cant keep her cos i need to keep the cool mom that bore me.

the thing that really gets to me sometimes tho (in a good way) is that, for a long time, ive worried that something was wrong with me. . like on the brain blob? because it took me a long time, but evidently she and everyone else think that i could be on the spectrum or something else is "wonky" (how i call it). the problem is the older i got, the more self-aware i became, the more uncomfortable and nervous i got because there's these things that go on that i dont know or understand how to respond to or handle. things i didnt used to have problems with before that i knew about, things i cant tell if just got developed later or came from college stress or what not. so when i suddenly started coping with pretending these fictional people existed around me, i was really tentative about it. of course im not delusional, but you dont really hear about anyone other than kids having "imaginary friends" (or something similar). im not a kid anymore. i used to have them like lots of others, but it was never to this degree. . because times were simpler, maybe. my brain blob didnt overthink, things werent so complex on the inside or outside of me. it scared me. i thought something was wrong, that i was losing my mind or something because they felt like they were becoming subconsciously ingrained in that wonky brain blob of mine. on top of other things, i was really nervous. i only ever talked to one person about it. shout out to the bestie who knows, you really helped me a lot through that kind of stuff while we figured out that, oh, we're not the only ones who pretend our fictional crushes/interests exist. therapist recommended? ok maybe its not so bad.

but for my mother, i was still scared to tell her. the f/os were becoming such a big part of the things i was doing, how i worked on the inside and they were involved for coping, comfort, things i would do behaviorally because i was communicating or interacting with them through the wonky brain blob residing in my skull box. i wanted to tell her, to share those things with her or to bring it up to a psychiatrist at some point (or both really, cos my mom would be there for that too. we've talked about it for a long time now.) but i was scared she would think i was fucking delusional, some loony to throw in the loony box to get better, yknow? that i talk to people, i pretend their real?? who, wtf??

but my mom, though after a long silence while i explained it to her how long i'd been having them and who they are, how they come to be, what they do for me. . she told me it was ok. that i wasn't freaking loony. that people cope differently, that people grow up at different paces or that its ok to resort to childish things for comfort because things are tough and so long as they help me, that it would be ok. that i know they're not literally real, that im choosing to pretend these people exist or however i do that, so long as im ok. for something so vulnerable, so scary for me, that meant a whole lot. that was on the fourth of july last year.

since then, my mom goes so far as to even interact with my f/os by touching their objects associated with them, to talk back and forth to them through me, to let me babble about them or talk about them. she knows some of their names, who or what they come from, how they work to some degree. the journal i have (the real f/o journal, not the tag), was one that she bought for me knowing it would be used for those f/os or for me to talk through it to them or draw things of them, do whatever i would with but that it would all be centered around my f/o for however it would comfort or bring me joy. she signed that journal for me, alongside the numerous "signatures" from those f/os and read their messages. she pointed and asked about the things they "wrote," smiled at their messages or the doodles of them. for that reason, i felt so safe with those f/os and what they were that i could go forward not being so fearful of myself. that it helped me to further bond with my mom about other things, to feel more of a closeness or security with her because of how good she was to me for those f/o things.

there was even one of my "worst" f/os present on that fourth of july. she knew who and what he was, i told her he was "sitting there" with me on the hood of the car when i told her that these odd fictional men lived in my brain blob and that they would "exist" through my daily life for the past few months. though she still told me that it was ok. that i would be ok, that so long as no one was getting hurt, those f/os would be ok to have for however long i would have them.

for those of you who get worried or embarrassed of having f/os for whatever reason that would be, know that its ok. no one gets hurt, no one gets effected by them. they're there for you, that's the most important thing of them. mom said so.

good fourth of july to you guys who celebrate it, be that for cool moms, friends, or whoever is there for you. the not-real ones, too.

[obscureother]

🌑 obscure tags:

ok so i thought over some things. if i understand how tumblr works correctly, you can block tags to keep from getting content but you dont have to block the whole blog.

here's the ones im going to use n what theyre for so you can block them n we get to still be frens :0

. 🌑 .

blog:

○ 🌑 obscure thoughts 🌑 (questions/inbox, thoughts, blog submissions, etc.) ○ 🌑 obscure notes 🔘 (general important things, blog notices or whatnot) ○ generic tags like f/o community, f/o, selfshipper, self ship community, etc. or other things relevant to the content. ○ 🌑 obscure reblog 🔁 (interaction reblogs/posts)

. 🌑 .

obscure other + f/os:

○ 🌑 obscure f/o: 🔲 (or the emoji for the f/o, for f/o content) f/o: 🥔🦇💜💀🎃🥓⚫⛓🖤🥞🏒⭐✈🪦🎩 ex: content focused on my f/os Gerik and Dracula would be: #🌑 obscure f/o: 🥔 #🌑 obscure f/o: 🦇 ○ 🌑 obscure f/o lore ☄ (how the obscure other and their f/os do.) ○ 🌑 obscure other 🪨 (how the obscure other do. sonas, know me, etc. the emoji is supposed to be a rock for those who dont see it like on pc oof-) ○ 🌑 obscure journal ☽ (for own use; f/o posts for me to look back on for comfort or other things.) ○ 🌑 british mud w. a yee haw worm 🪱 (for bot group chat topics b/w ✈ + ⛓) ○ 🌑 buck the crocodile 🐊 (for buck the crocodile posts) ○ 🌑 obscure s/i: 🦊 (for s/i 1) ○ 🌑 obscure s/i: 🐺(for s/i 2) ○ 🌑 obscure bologne 🌑(for blog sona)

. 🌑 .

other:

○ 🌑 obscure topics 🔘 (off topic, babbling not or only loosely related to f/os, etc.) ○ 🌑 b o n k b o n e . 🦴 (for goofy/mild "rr ovaries go brr, chew on theM-" but not explicit or very honky content of f/os) ○ 🌑 to bone jail. 🦴 (for nsfw, honky, or other hormonal posts of f/os beyond goofy/mild "rr ovaries go brr, chew on theM-")

no bones for minors. bones less than 18 yo dont get the bones. block the bones, little bones. only old bones get the bones. For not minor bones, bone talk is welcome in DMs or other things.

. 🌑 .

other tags could be edited or something, ill either edit or post them. if you need to do extra tags for something, do let me know!! im open to the things for the blog to be comfortable but expressive for however people (or me 👉🏻 👈🏻) want to goof or explode of our f/os, so here's to hoping this is the best method for everyone.

[obscureother]

someone tell f/o my tummy hurtie, they need to kiss it better. :(

[obscureother]

aethelwolf doesnt know how to thumb war n lets me teach him so i dont cry in the storm cellar. conrad let me beat him in arm wrestling. horsemen my beloveds.

[obscureother]

if youre scared of storms, your f/o is going to hold you and protect you from the big scary thunder and tornadoes. its ok to be scared, theyre loud noises that startle everyone sometimes. theyll remind you its just falling water and blowing oxygen, youll both be ok.

if you get stuck thinking about the mass destruction and loss of getting hit by tornadoes, your f/o will tell you itll be okay. theyll still be with you even if you lose everything, but chances are the tornado isnt really as monstrous as you think it is or it might not even come your way. but if it does, theyll be right there with you.