#maybe send help i guess??
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I think Iām gonna watch The Nice Guys tonight, on a scale of 1-10 how screwed will I be?
#Iām already screaming just from the photos and gifs#maybe send help i guess??#please prepare me for what is to come š©š#ken-dom personal
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please donāt be sad little sprout, you are loved š± š¤
š±
#š±Thank you<33š±#I guess my latest vent art post made some of you guys worried. I'm sorry ;;n;; )#but I'm alright. well.. kind of? Like I haven't done anything to myself kind of alright?#maybe I should explain bit about my situation but at the same time I don't feel comfortable to open up too much#but simply said it's about doing art as a job and mental health#Things haven't been going well but I am getting help for my mental health#This is all what I will say for now about my situation#I apologize again that I made you guys worried#but I do warn that I might post more vent art if I get enough energy to draw#this is just one way how I deal with my emotions#but if you don't like vent art I suggest to block the words vent and vent art#I remember tumblr has this option somewhere??#and uhh.. I don't really know how to end this post but thank you everyone who has been sending support<33#I might not know how to reply to them but I have read them all and I'm very thankful for all the support what you guys have given meš±#Thank youš±#ask#anon#me talking
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uhaam. like a dog by ferry. rk noah. Am i insane
I saw this ask, blacked out, and woke up to this on my screen.
So I think we're both a little insane. (The song, for context.)
#for real i don't know how this ended up on my screen. someone send help.#anyway the joke of dog-themed songs has just become something more i guess? because that's eerily fitting.#it's not a joke anymore šØš³#imo the song's a little more fitting for rk!alejandro? since it seems like it's from the perspective of someone holding power over the 'dog#and also likening themself to a dog as well i guess? but the singer definitely holds the majority of the power in their dynamic.#maybe i just want alejandro to tell noah he'll always come running back to him ālike a wounded dogā. maybe i'm crazy.#maybe i'm born with it. maybe it's maybelline. š¤·āāļø#also please don't mind me linking the 'lullaby' version it just has the clearest/most coherent vocals. š#total drama#td alejandro#td noah#alenoah#rice krispies fic#ophe doodles#replies
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āquick rec list of my faves so farā from the silm smut exchange is a little rude to me? you can have your faves but such a small exchange is all about spreading the love and communityā¦ cherrypicking fics from an already-small exchange mere days after fics are deanoned feels unnecessarily exclusive.
In the politest way possible, I have to disagree anon, and I think it comes down to how one sees both the act of reccing, and the meaning/conception of community. I'm not going to go on a long tangent here, but
Reccing is not about "cherrypicking." I'm not saying, "these are objectively The Best Fics in this collection and/or the only ones worth reading." I'm saying, "I started on the collection which has been great, and these are ones I personally enjoyed a lot. Let's share them!" This does nowhere automatically imply anything about the fics I haven't recced yet/read yet. People being lifted up isn't inherently and automatically putting others down, and frankly it's a bit sad to view it that way, and to then go out of your way to try and make someone feel shitty about... lifting people up.
Reccing is a vital part of fandom communities in itself. Of course, I rec the entire collection, it's an absolute feast! Sharing fics of that -- even if it's not all of them in a single rec list, or each fic as a single rec -- is in fact about spreading the love and community with it. Or at least I personally think it is, and it is how I view recs in general. If it was a popularity contest and recs are currency/prices/an exclusivity club, then I do assume it would not be so, but then, well -- then it is not a community, is it. This may sound harsh, but I mean this genuinely in the kindest way possible. Reccers are not out to put things on a pedestal, and I think in a fandom as small as the Silmarillion fandom (or in fact an exchange as supposedly "small" as this one was, although I'd dare say 26 fics is a solid turnout! <3) it's also a little bit of a pointless worry to have.
One last "rec" - no one's stopping you from doing your own recs the way you like them to! This too I mean genuinely. People's tastes differ vastly, so yk. join in the fun of it and all that.
And also yes; everyone go check out the entire collection. Obviously <3
#answered asks#mona rambles#anonymous#i am aware this is a discussion approximately as old as reccing itself is#but i also gotta say that in a fandom as small and with as many ships as this one i understand it even less. like people like what they lik#and other people will like other things. there's a fic and its respective reader for everyone#on fandom#discourse#i guess#also about as much as i will say on this matter. people will always disagree on these things#but also if it makes you send anonymous messages to people maybe filtering the respective tags might help. respectfully
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Guess what my stupid brain read first?
Annatar instead of Annotatorš«
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Free fics I guess?
I want to write more Ordis/Ordan fics but I'm out of ideas and time :( I mean, right now I can barely update my Jade/Stalker's fic and even the Umbra's fic got to an involuntary pause haha.
Soooo.. any ideas? Just featuring Ordis/Ordan, please! (I still don't know how start my longfic inspired in my own Perfect Machine Songfic so that idea is out of reach for now in case anyone is interested in it (?)
Being a freelancer writer is nice until the commissions give me a creative block xd aaaaaaah.
#warframe#cephalon ordis#ordis#ordan karris#fanfic#fanfiction#send help#give me ideas idk#i wont charge just give me ideaaaas#idk maybe i need to play warframe again#well i have a few ideas but with umbra#anyone loves umbra too?#it's hard to be a fangirl#sighs#but yeah free fics i guess#or drabbles perhaps
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Honestly the roleplay blogs are stronger than I am because if I saw a post where people were saying my blog was annoying and calling me corny I would jump in a large pit and rot away
#I don't think I should tag this one#Okay I've typed my emotions out. For a more normal way to put it: While it makes sense to be upset#best move. I'm sure the blogs in question would be happier if you just told them about the roleplay guidelines than if you made a post#where multiple people call them annoying. Like can you imagine if someone said that about a writing blog#'So sick of x reader fics in the tag I don't want to see that and they're all so out of character' What a dick move.#It is a different case with rp blogs I'll give you that. But I think the principle of the matter stands#unless it doesn't and everything I said is stupid#original ramble below I was so mad for some reason. im not mad at anyone really. everyone is cool. love you guys#I get why people are unhappy that theyre clogging up the tags#like despiar dev said not to and people want to see content of despiar thyme not just ask blogs#I saw someone say they just blocked them and like. I get why. however. people do not know everything#but my brother in Christ you're not helping the matter!!!!!!!!1 send them a screenshot of what despiar dev said!!!!help other people!!!!!!!#just politely tell them instead of weirdly vague posting it helps everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! maybe they just don't know#misspelling the tags so no one finds this post. I will actually be so pissed if people find this and r upset#Oh I'm sorry THIS is the post you're noticing? You have followed me for over six months and you haven't said anything about any other negat#negative feelings i've expressed. I see how it is#I wish the drdt confessions account was still open but whatever fucking whatever#sui mention#personal vent#whatever I guess
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listening to a Siri-esque voice read pretty hardcore whump with a feigned, not quite there, robotic attempt at human inflection is honestly chilling
part of me is genuinely horrified. like the inherent dehumanization of a macabre facsimile of a human voice reading deeply human thoughts and emotions born of pure terror and severe pain is so wrong. like oh. oh no. this is Wrong.
.....the other part of me though.
the other part is running absolutely rabid with ideas. could this be an inhuman whumper with the ability to read minds voicing the thoughts of their whumpee with a cold detachedness? are they simply pondering whumpee's humanity which they cannot experience themselves? are they voicing these thoughts to torment caretaker in a ransom video? or even after whumpee's death? are they voicing them to whumpee themselves, like a bedtime story after a torture session, forcing them to relive the traumatic memories though whumper's fucked up, delighted lense of whumpee's own thoughts?
Jesus Christ I am having Thoughts
#its like whump meta#whump-ception#conjures so many fucked up ideas#whump#whump meme#whump community#whumpblr#intimate whumper#creepy whumper#for sure#nonhuman whumper#maybe#emotional whump#i guess#i dont know how to tag this send help#tw torture#mentioned torture#to be safe?
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In between book series frantically combing goodreads, hoopla, decent narrators, publishers, anything. Full of frantic, antsy energy because I am Storyless and- wait. Is this... an. Addiction?
#maybe but i also dont care#i feel like cookie monster but for stories that i can listen to#nia post#please send help or recommendations#ive just listened to aftg AGAIN#i dont want to relisten to raven boys or queens thief bc i want my next reread to be the actual bools that i own and annotate them#i want charecters!!!!#charecters darn it!#and there's like No podfics either so i guess im going to have to do that myself.#uuuuuggggghhhhhh#im not quite ready for the spring anne of green gables read#i could go for more children series#but i also want more teen / adult?#i dont want to be constantly stressing about people letting 12 year olds be chosen ones
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I honestly don't know if I should be happy or not about the fact that Neo and Mark together scratch my brain in all the right ways.
Cause like good for me I guess. It's always fun and exciting when something like that happens - kinda feels a little bit like falling in love lol
But also no pairing hits the right way right now which makes it hard to get into new shows and also I don't know if they will ever make another show together. (š„²š„¹š)
Credit for gif 2: klausbens here on Tumblr
#neomark#neo trai#mark pakin#only friends the series#bostonnick#and here i thought I wouldn't care about them at all and what a strange pairing these two were#jokes on me i guess#they have me in a chokehold#send help#or maybe not#i love suffering
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Hi, I'm on a spree.
I was thinking about that one episode where the show writers decide to use all of their most blatantly monster themed aliens for a lesson in racism, whichā¦
[Deep inhale,]
Was certainly a decision. That they made.
Anyhow, I was thinking about how Ben from the Story Told au would act in that episode (and arc) and realized that he'd probably take advantage of the fact that the planet is perpetually dim so as to use his Omnitrix's Starlight feature. Basically, the Omnitrix took a form that Ben had taken the sample of directly, that it had downloaded onto its hardware (rather than through a connection to Galvan Prime), or from a form the Omnitrix had copied the data from and then customized such that the final form is an equivalent to Ben's human one.
This Loboan form is that lattermost option; it is a Loboan with a few slight modificationsā such as the extra digits on the claws and the thinner fur in some places. It is a juvenile, just as Ben is, which actually inspires some interesting storylines.
We refer to our adolescents as āteensā, but that has its meaning from the fact that a stretch of years end with that. If you walked up to someone who had never before seen a human, who came from an entirely different species and with wholly different biology, and you referred to yourself as a āteenāā that alien would have no frame of reference. What that alien might do is try and make an inference based on how that person acts and where they are.
In this instance, Ben is on a work trip thousands of miles away from home with seemingly no caretaker, soā¦. This human is an adult?
And then the human shapeshifts into a version of that alien's species and is a child.
I meanā¦
There's story potential thereā¦
ā¦ā¦
Someone slap my hands away from the screen now-
#Ben Tennyson#Loboan#This is a version of him rather than a wholly seperate for#form from someone else thus I guess he'd go with his own name?#Maybe?#Redesign#Omniverse#Ben 10 Omniverse#this hyperfixation is in full swing#send help.#Blitzwolfer#Benwolf#pfffffft#Every so often I remember that that's a cannonical name.#Amazing.#Comcept art#A Story Told
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~ ~ ~
#for the last couple days whenever I try to talk to partner about something more serious Iām feeling/thinking they just acknowledge that#they read it and then just blow it off. like putting a sad face emoji to show they read my message and then sending š which is our#indicator for ādonāt want to/canāt talk right nowā. and if they were at work Iād understand but then they donāt try to let me talk later#when weāre together either. and this has even been happening at times where theyāre home on a day off. I get maybe not having the energy or#capacity to let someone vent or complain or whatever but at the same timeā¦ weāve been together a year and a half and we live together now#and theyāre supposed to be the person I can count on to let me talk and help me feel better if Iām depressed or sad or anxious or whatever#I would do it for them and I do actually do it for them whenever they need me to because I believe thatās what a good partner should do#and yeah my problems are not very serious but theyāre still a big deal to me and making me sad/upset and I want to be able to talk about#them outside of just going to therapy once a week. therapy is great and all but emotions arenāt programmed to just line up with a session#Iām still going to think and feel things during the rest of my time outside of therapy and need support and Iām just not getting it now#but what am I supposed to do? try to force them to listen to me? that wouldnāt be fair to either of us#guess Iāll just be stuck alone with my thoughts as usual#personal
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Pride tried attacking me today.
#send help#what a dangerous world#stay safe#pride#lgbtq#idk how to tag this#photography#?#I guess#rainbow#street photography#maybe?#idkkk#lol
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what's a good gaming computer, preferably desktop, not laptop... that's $1000 or less? honest answers only lmao. (I'm trying to move away from laptops, but I mean I guess it doesn't matter).. I need something that wont lag, has decent/good graphics. the laptop I apparently ordered last week canceled on me, so we're back to square one.
#I'm not trying to be fancy and get 4k although that'd be lovely#but that'd be over $1k I'm guessing lol#I need good graphics and no lag that's all I want really#I wanna start using reshade and maybe otis one day but I can't do that rn cos my laptop can't handle it lmao#it's gonna explode send help
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My favourite moment when writing the article was desperately trying to get the Loveletter worm to work in the VM I made specifically for it. Also getting Loveletter into the VM in the first place as Windows Defender continuously tries to thwart my attempts
#I'm finishing up the conclusion#then I'll read it again#fix all the issues I can find#and send it to my supervisor. who's sooo nice for telling me he'll help with edits and also review it <3#and then we can start the research plan for the doctoral program application#though I'm having doubts about my research idea for the first time since I even thought about this thing#maybe I should actually follow up on my master's thesis? but I think it'd be harder to get in with that...#though it'd be more linguistics-related I guess#anyways let's finish it up and go shopping
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I get alone with my thoughts for one second and then my brain goes to the VN love interest route I beat yesterday and I go, "jesus fucking christ what the fuck."
#ramblings#it's honestly funny at how shocking it was to me??? i just did not see that happening#i legitimately said out loud as i was playing it and he was having a rough time that he should kill himself to forever change the directory#of people's lives. and then i moved on because OF COURSE that wasn't going to happen. it was funny to me but the game wouldn't do that#but then he had a mental breakdown and kidnapped someone and tried to kill himself and I??????????????? I still cannot process it? what the#spoilers for an otome game route i guess#not giving any details in case you don't wanna know but i have to say#WHAT THE HELL the fuck what? hello? get therapy? hello? how did that lead to a good end where nothing else was confronted? hello? are you o#li: i'll kill myself if you don't love me. mc: +10000 affection#GIRL STOP you both need to go to therapy what the fuck LMAOOOO what did I play and why did it go that way with no warning??? or maybe i was#warned but i automatically told myself no way i was reading too much into it and they'd never BUT THEY DID WHAT WHAT HELLO WHAT??#my friends got me screaming through out the entire thing in group chat#the change from LMAO he should he deserves to fuck up people's lives to Hahah. Ha? He is??? LMAO??? WHAT HELLO?#i think it was extra jarring because the other love interests pissed me off at least once very bad on their routes but this guy cried early#on and opened up and i was like huh. vulnerability. i like that. and he kept on not making me mad and i was like good for him i hope he wor#s through his issues. the same with the mc. BUT THEY DIDN'T. THEY JUST HAVE THIS VERY UNHEALTHY CODEPENDENCY THAT I THOUGHT THE MC WAS WORK#ON FIXING BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOO ARGH AAAAAAAHHHH LMAO WHAT THE FUCK#the true route i unlocked fixed some things but they're all still fucked up. i guess they're my blorbo friends now#okay i need this to get out of my system send help
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