#maybe reading fanfic in public is bad in general

[mylahrins]

so on a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it to read fanfiction near a bunch of elementary school kids

[disillusioneddanny]

DPxDC Negativity

Hey this is just a friendly reminder that I'm going to put in the plainest terms that I can.

If you are telling people how they should and should not participate in fandom you are GATEKEEPING

If you are telling people that they need to read more comics before writing fanfic you are GATEKEEPING

If you are telling people that they need to do more research into canon in any form, whether that be reading wikis, reading comics, watching shows, whatever you are GATEKEEPING

If you are telling people that what they are writing is not canon compliant and therefore not a valid way to participate in fandom you are GATEKEEPING

Fandom is supposed to be fun

Fanfiction is supposed to be fun

We are not writing these stories for anyone but ourselves. And to tell someone that they are participating in fandom wrong is GATEKEEPING

There are plenty of fanfics in the DC only sphere and the DP sphere that are so far away from canon it's unreal and that's totally okay!

People are allowed to enjoy fandom in however the hell they please. If that means they are writing a crap ton of Batfam/Danny Phantom content and not very much Justice League/DP content, that's totally okay.

If someone read the Wayne Family Adventures Webtoon and decided that they want to write Danny being adopted into a loving and crazy Batfamily that is totally one hundred percent fine.

If someone wants to write Danny with abusive and neglectful parents guess what? they can.

If they want to write Vlad as being a nurturing and loving godfather to Danny, they can.

What I'm trying to explain to you all is that it's okay to write things that are not canon compliant. It's okay to write things that are so far away from canon it's not even recognizable--I mean have you even read a fantasy au or a no capes au? That's basically just slapping a characters name and face to an OC. And guess what? THAT'S OKAY.

It's also okay to want to see more people interact with the canon lore, to want to share resources and tell people about your special interests. But the moment you start doing it and it makes people feel bad-- even if that is not your intention you are GATEKEEPING.

Gatekeeping is defined as the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something.

By you telling others what they should and should not write, you are being a gatekeeper.

I get it, you want to share lore, you want to show that you know all these cool things about DC. You want more than just batfam and DP content. That's totally valid and really cool.

Do it yourself.

Don't take someone else's joy away simply because it's not what you want to see. They aren't writing it for you, they're writing it for themselves. You're just a lucky person who gets to see the beautiful works that they are putting time and effort into.

When I joined DPxDC I knew absolute shit about DC. Over the last year, I've read over 400 issues of the Batman comics, read all of the Red Robin series, and a smattering of random other comics with plans to read others. But when I started writing? I knew jackshit. My knowledge came from the Teen Titans cartoon, the Batman animated series, and vague memories of watching the Justice League animated series as a kid.

And if Dis from a year ago saw this gatekeeping shit, they would have never started writing for the fandom because they would have been too scared to be told they were doing it wrong.

Now? I'm writing DC only fics based off of what I learned in the comics and it's a lot of fun.

But I did that because I wanted to, I was starting to get more and more interested in DC and I wanted to know more. And I had access to pay for DC Infinite so that I could get access to the comics. Not everyone has that luxury.

Not everyone has the luxury of being able to read them from free sites either. Maybe they have to use a public computer that doesn't have ad blockers. Maybe their local libraries don't have access to the comics. You don't know what their situation is.

Maybe you're being well intentioned. Maybe you're just wanting to share your wealth of knowledge with the fandom. But remember, if just one person is getting hurt by your statements, that means you're no longer being helpful. You're being harmful. You're scaring off a new fan who was super insanely excited to start sharing their headcanons.

You're making people feel unwelcome. And that's not fucking cool.

Fandom is supposed to be a welcoming space for everyone, it's supposed to uplift and bring joy. Not make people feel bad for not knowing enough, or for feeling too anxious to even begin figuring out where in the 75 year history of DC they should start reading.

I know that's what kept me from reading the comics for a long time. it was just too overwhelming. It still is overwhelming for me and thats with having friends telling me where to start and what comics are best to read.

Before I end this super hella long rant I want to remind you of one last thing.

You don't know what someone has read or researched before writing their fic. You don't know just how much they know about that character or universe. For all you know, they may have read, watched, consumed every single piece of DC media in existence. But they may still interpret it different than you did and that does not mean that their Bruce Wayne is OOC because it doesn't align with how you interpret Bruce Wayne. it just means that they view his character differently than you do.

And that's such a beautiful fucking thing don't you think? That a single character, a single universe, a single fucking line can be interpreted hundreds of different ways by hundreds of different people and it's still valid.

It's what makes fandom so freaking cool in the first place.

Like one day someone woke up and they were watching Danny Phantom and they thought hm, what if I had Danny Fenton go to Gotham one day and hang out with the bats? And next thing you know, now we have thousands upon thousands of different fanfics, fan art and HCs, all because of it. All because someone had that one idea and shared it and others saw it, interpreted it their own way, and decided to create even more.

And now we're here! And this fandom is beautiful and thriving. There are so many amazing and lovely people in this fandom. There are so many discords to talk about fandom, there's so many events, a DPxDC Bang is the works, a DPxDC fanzine is in the works.

That's so fucking cool and we should be celebrating that! Not making others feel bad for not knowing as much as others.

[doctordeathawaits]

trans-omega tips please ? { like the ones in omegaverse fanfics !! }

also specifically a little nsfw but i get extremely dysphoric about not having my heats !! so if you have any tips for that specifically i would be so grateful !! maybe you could hide it under a read more/continue reading thingy !!

thank you !! ♥️♥️♥️

TRANS - OMEGAVERSE ( OMEGA ) . . .

warning of nsfw topics under the cut ! :3

Hello , so I am a headmate who is cis-omega in headspace , decided why not help out , yk ?

If you experience ovulation - you can associate that with Heat , and for dysphoria , you can download those ovulation tracking apps that give little reminders .

In my source , I often had to take suppressants before going out in public , so focus on that during heat - have reminders on your phone that you need to take vitamins before going out to school / work / out public . Imagining that the vitamins are suppressants can help a lot with dysphoria + vitamins can be gotten just over the counter ( commonly omega 3 fish oil , magnesium or vitamin d ) .

Make nests . I see people say nests are only when someone is in heat , which is wrong , nest can be made whenever the fuck you want - if you wanna be comfortable ? make a nest lmao . But there is also no rules to what makes a nest . All that matters is that you're comfortable , it can just be blankets and pillows , plushie toys , or even clothes that make you feel calm . Some inspo if you're stuggling : inspo .. INSPO .. inspo .

More euphoria - go perfume shopping and figure out what your scent is . You can also assign a scent to your partner . You can buy the said perfume that you assign to yourself / your partner . During heats , you can cover yourself in the perfume - or when nesting , you can use the partner perfume to make you feel more comfortable .

You can set yourself rules based on your cycles . Example ; i generally , for whatever reason , cannot drink beer when i can feel something coming on - never know why , but my mind just sort of , thinks it makes sense ? I've heard that this is common for other omegas , just weird rules that they believe will " help them conceive" upon instinct , even if it doesn't make much sense . But you can set these sort of rules to yourself , any sort . I've heard some have hydrophobia during pre-heat , some claim that eating a specific food is ' bad ' , ect .

Hope these were even just a bit helpful , good luck <3

[olderthannetfic]

Saw a post about how readers should keep their fic ratings to themselves and not put them on public bookmarks because there’s no need to when authors can see them. And maybe I’m being mean but authors should just not look at bookmarks of their fics if they aren’t ready to take any sort of criticism. If you want to only see praises of your work then just read your comments? People bookmark fics for a variety of reasons and it’s not always because it’s their favorite fic.

I get the “fanfic is free and readers act entitled (sometimes)” thing but bookmarks aren’t an extension of the comments. Am I missing something? Is this actually fandom etiquette I didn’t know about?

--

No, it's not general fandom etiquette. It's a result of bookmarking culture having been gutted by Delicious being bought and ruined.

AO3 is quite clear that bookmarks are for the bookmarker. Barring shit like doxxing, you can put what you want.

Certainly, it's possible to make a bookmark that isn't technically harassment but that I think crosses a line... But it's going to take more than a "1/5 DNF Bad grammar" to do that.

We've had multiple wanks on here about authors' "right" to control bookmarks. Those people remain wrong. Negative bookmarks remain fine.

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

Haven't heard from you in a while, hope you're doing well! <3

Hey, nonnie - I'm doing alright. Personal ramble below the cut. Skip if you're just here for fanfic reading and don't care about my silly little melodrama.

Not going to go into too much detail, but I've been really feeling the depression lately. For context, I have clinical depression and take a really high dose of antidepressants, which fuck with other aspects of my life (i.e. weight and lack of sleep). Medical consensus is that I'll need medication for the rest of my life as my brain does not perform the appropriate mood-regulating functions (I'm not super sure what the specifics of this are). I've struggled with low feeling, demotivation, SI/SH etc. for nearly nine years now. I've slipped into a bit of an episode lately - not necessarily related to being online but Tumblr is a part of it - but I'm trying to work my way out of it by picking up some new-old hobbies, such as crochet, and doing things that I like and that don't stress me. I'm safe and don't have the opportunity to action any of my feelings, so please don't worry about me!

Unfortunately, Tumblr has been a source of stress for me since I've come on here. I've made some downright terrible choices in friends, in behaviour, in the amount of energy I commit to this space, and the only one who can really break this cycle is me. This site hosts a really wide range of personalities, and I just... feel like I've encountered some of the absolute worst among all of that, and it's done me absolutely no favours when it comes to making good choices. We all say that as adults, we should know better, but there's no sudden switch that flips, you know? We spend our whole lives making mistakes and learning from them. Adulthood isn't the abrupt entry into moral infallibility, and that's been something I've had to address and work through when it comes to my own failings.

To be perfectly honest, Tumblr isn't a supportive place. Or the people aren't. I don't really know which. To clarify, I do generally speak of the community of artists and writers in this, not the people here who just want to enjoy art or read someone's fanfic. I suppose there's a certain level of - I don't know - self-centredness? - when it comes to creating an online presence and sharing one's own creations on the internet. That mentality, I think, bleeds over into feelings of entitlement in creative communities. Entitlement to other people's time, to people's attention, to people's promotion, and when one doesn't get that, the problems start: (best to worst =) transactional interaction, badmouthing, hate anons, public bashing, and the list goes on. I've definitely been someone who has been upset by people's lack of interaction. I've responded with "oh, I'm not reblogging until they reblog mine" more than once. We all know that I've been involved with badmouthing and publicly bashing others. I continue to be very ashamed of this, and I am honest with myself about what I've done and how I got there in my journey working through my problems and making meaningful change in my life.

Anyway, point is - I'm trying to divorce myself from the entitlement, and I think to do that I need to divorce myself from the notion that we exist as a community. I've put far too much effort into that idea, and it's gotten me absolutely nowhere. There are more people who dislike me than not. Most just straight-up ignore me. I deserve it, sure, but (or maybe and) I have no intention of continuing to engage in a space that either doesn't exist or where I'm not wanted. I've felt anxious and upset at the mere thought of going on Tumblr the past few months. It hasn't been bringing me joy anymore, and that was the whole point of it. There's so much bad blood associated with being on here, but I love writing. I love this show. I can't give up something that makes me so happy in every respect other than this one site.

So I've taken some time off, reassessed the way I'm intending to use this space, and I've essentially decided that I started it for me so I'm going to do it for me. I'm going to interact with who I want and post what I want and damn absolutely everyone who tries to police me (of which there has been A LOT - apparently I have a "responsibility" to support others which I now know is actually code for "I'm jealous that you're getting any kind of attention online, so instead of addressing my issue with this, I'm going to vaguepost about/anon/DM you to try and guilt you into giving my work attention so that maybe it'll transfer to me").

For the casual peruser, no change at all. But I'm done giving my effort to the idea of 'community'. It doesn't exist, or I don't belong. I am going to do what makes me happy now, and only what makes me happy. That's the whole point. I'm sick of focusing on negatives. I'm sick of posting about them, to be honest. I think this mindset will do me good.

If you've gotten this far, I hope that it's okay that I've decided this. I'm feeling positive about it!

[tricksterlatte]

I've always been fascinated by fandom history, and I know I'm not the only one. It's interesting to see how fans of pop culture can create a culture of their own, and in the modern age of social media and the internet in general, that culture is as widespread as ever. Unfortunately, that also means downsides are becoming bigger as this culture becomes widespread, and it's saddening to watch, maybe even concerning.

I don't discuss these things to be preachy, especially considering how I've fallen into several of these pitfalls before, and have perpetuated some of this behavior in the past. To say otherwise would make me a hypocrite and a liar, and I firmly believe this goes for most people in any fandom. I was just thinking about this recently, and how a lot of the biggest stressors in what should be our stress relief really can be pinned mostly into a few central talking points, which I would love to discuss to know if I'm not just going crazy here

The concept of Big Name Fan has evolved into a position of authority on fandom, which does not fall to anyone regarding subjectivity. No one in a fandom is an authority except the creators themselves, who have every right to stay away from the fandoms they have birthed.

Popularity in general being conflated to intellectual authority as well, especially on websites with public stats, particularly following counts. The algorithm is no benevolent god, but people will sometimes see someone with 30k followers and think they are correct on a minor non-issue that has spiraled into discourse, especially when compared to someone with 30 followers. This also is just...a bummer when fanon evolves into perceived canon, and newcomers to the fandom can't post even innocuous meta or headcanons without it being perceived as morally/intellectually incorrect.

Monetization of fanworks, but especially zines, have led to a hypercompetitive atmosphere that only escalates the bitterness and resentment. This is not a universal problem, but many zines across all fandoms habitually accept the same artists and writers, or diminish the value of fanfic due to the limitations of physical printing. The application process has devolved into such a disheartening debacle for a majority of people I see, and the way it is often framed as "your work just wasn't good enough" when it's really about what the mods deem mass marketable will destroy just about anyone's self-esteem after repetitive rejections, and will give some frequent zine runners a false sense of final say over the community (not usually, but it can happen).

The level of distrust for anyone new attempting to start a fan project is just so depressing nowadays (and this one we sadly can blame on a few people by name, but the ones who have sent this issue spiraling still don't care and that just sucks. I feel horrible for everyone who has been tricked).

Somehow comment and anonymous asks have gone backwards from "don't feed the trolls" to "suck it up, at least you're getting comments." I have seen some of these comments people have been told to suck up. It's not okay in general. It's particularly gross when it's an anonymous hate message unrelated to the fanworks themselves, perhaps born out of resentment or bearing an ulterior motive. And some will even attack and defame character due to identity. It's not subtle. It's not okay. People should absolutely be dunked on for this, and I gotta say I'm sick of unsolicited concrit being enforced as positive either. If they didn't ask, don't give it. There's a reason a lot of fic writers some people adore suddenly go ghost, and they can't even talk about it.

Don't like, don't read has been discarded in favor of don't like, tell others don't read and also don't write. Transformative works don't have to fit into a canon or even in character mold. That's why they're transformative! It's a different type of artistic expression. If you don't like it, chances are good it simply wasn't meant for you. It's not bad. Don't shame others, god especially not for non-issues such as a t/b preference or a different gender hc, preferred haircuts, types of animal you imagine them as in another lifetime, I could list literally anything here and I bet there has been a fandom fight over it.

Exclusive yet publicly advertised community Discords that will bar you from invite if you're not one of the cool kids. I have unfortunately fallen into this trap before, and refuse to ever enable or endorse that behavior ever again. This isn't about friend groups either, it's about fandom-dedicated servers that flaunt themselves as a VIP club instead of what they are: a friend group. I also don't even know how to broach the subject of private accounts that turn into fandom tea accounts with dozens if not hundreds of followers, only for people to be angry if someone isn't exactly okay with horrific stuff being said in general, let alone about their mutuals or friends.

I know none of this will likely ever change, and tbh i'm so tired of it all, but...does anyone else know what I mean? I'm stressed out whenever I try to enjoy myself, because popularity and a strange business mindset is steadily taking over fandom spaces. I'm not saying people should stop trying to make stuff that sells, or that people universally do any of this, but fandom is evolving into a thing I'm not sure is good. idk anymore

[writingquestionsanswered]

How much practice does one need before wven thinking of writing a story with a goal to publish?

Or is it possible to just write up an outline, a couple of drafts until the final draft, and to start contacting publishers?

Is it enough to just learn from the internet about writing stories - like tips from this blog, for example?

I'm considering being an author, but idk how much time I want to "waste" on practicing writing stories I have no interest in. Like fanfiction or random prompts. I really only care for the stuff I'd like to see in a book store someday....

How do authors usually do it? Do I have to be a renowned fanfic writer, short story contest writer before? Do I have to have a degree to stand a chance?

Questions About Becoming an Author

"How much practice does one need before even thinking of writing a story with a goal to publish?"

How much practice you need depends on where you're starting out. If you're starting literally from scratch--as in you've never read fiction, never written a story, don't watch a lot of TV and movies, have never been to a play or musical, don't listen to much music, don't read poetry, and are just generally clueless about what stories are and how they work, then you're going to need a lot of time and practice. However, odds are pretty good you're a lot further along than that. At the very least, you probably read and wrote fiction in school, and you've probably consumed stories via other mediums as well. Maybe you've even written poetry, short stories, or fan-fiction. Maybe you're just one of the lucky few with an innate talent for writing great stories even with very little experience. All you can do is start writing and see where you land.

"Is it possible to write up an outline, a couple of drafts until the final draft, and to start contacting publishers?"

Sure, it's possible. Will the story get any traction? That depends on how good it is, how timely/on trend it is, who you query, and how well you query.

"Is it enough to just learn from the internet about writing stories - like tips from this blog, for example?"

Advice blogs like this one are helpful, but you do have to actually write in order to get better at writing. It's also helpful to read fiction if you want to get better at writing fiction.

"I'm considering being an author, but idk how much time I want to "waste" on practicing writing stories I have no interest in."

What I'm hearing here is "I want to be an author but I don't want to put in the time and effort to hone my craft," and that's definitely not where you want to be. If you think of writing practice stories as a waste of time, you'll never become a published author. Practice is an essential part of honing your craft, and stories that are never published aren't a waste. They're essential building blocks to becoming a good writer.

"How do authors usually do it? Do I have to be a renowned fanfic writer, short story contest writer before? Do I have to have a degree to stand a chance?"

There are many valid paths to becoming an author, but all of them require a commitment to the time, energy, and practice it takes to hone your craft well enough to write a publishable story or book.

Some people become an author after years as a renowned fanfic author. Some become an author after writing in college, or for a publication, or for their job. Some become an author after earning a writing degree. Some people become an author after spending a few years writing stories for practice, and finally writing one good enough to query. You don't have to do any of these things to be a writer. All you have to do is write until you write something good enough to publish. When you'll get to that point is different for everyone.

Most writers become authors after spending years writing stories that will never be published. Again, these stories aren't a waste. They are the stepping stones that got the writer from being a bad writer to being an amazing writer. For the vast majority of us, those stepping stones are a necessary part of the process.

At the end of the day, all you can do is start writing and see where you land. Write a story you're passionate about and send it to beta readers. See what kind of feedback you get. If it's mostly glowing and positive, you might be one of those lucky few who has an innate talent for writing. If the reviews aren't great, you need to try again.

If you're willing to put in the time, patience, and effort, you'll get there. :)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[tleeaves]

Wasting Beats In This Heart Of Mine - how it would have ended

Hello, folks! As some of you already know or have heard me mention previously, my TLH fanfic WBITHOM is coming to an end. I am no longer comfortable with it being in the public eye since it involves a lot of personal stuff for me, and so I have decided to delete the fic entirely on every platform it's been published on (that's Quotev, AO3, and Wattpad) rather than rewrite the entire thing. This will also finally give me the chance to focus on other written works. Maybe I'll return to fandom with a rewrite one day for anyone interested, but for now, the future is dedicated to other things. The fic will be deleted in 48 hours, so readers on Quotev and AO3 have a chance to download the unfinished fic if they so desire before then or just have one last read. I ask that no one rewrites or adds an ending to my fic and publishes it anywhere without my knowledge and permission. Never put an author's work through AI either. I still have several copies of my fanfic and its outline, so I will always have evidence of where the story comes from.

WBITHOM is a monster, with the master document coming to well over 150,000 words and the fic so far being ~146,000 words (the entire outline and all my notes makes up over 4,000 words, yes). I predict that, had I finished the fic, it would come close to 188,000 words (so, there was a decent ways to go still). It's the biggest thing I've attempted, but because of that, it is also the most time-consuming (it's been almost a year and a half of writing, and each chapter either takes two full days to write or weeks) and it takes up the most space in my head, not really leaving room for the other ideas I want to explore.

So, as someone suggested, I thought I'd give readers who were hoping to see the fic to its proper end some closure. That's what this post is for: how it would have ended. Along the way, I'll explain some things too about recurring themes and motifs and all manner of behind the scenes and thoughts behind my ideas.

Character Arc Summaries

As readers know, this story follows the characters of Lila Raftis, James Herondale, Cordelia Carstairs, and Matthew Fairchild. They're all the most significant figures, though we do see other perspectives and side characters too. Essentially, Lila Raftis struggles with loneliness due to a myriad of other issues she has to work through, and James Herondale's arc starts with his depression and turns into a journey to authenticity where he feels like his own person and not just what he has been written or expected to be. Cordelia Carstairs' physical state of being lost extends to how lost she is within, and she ends realising that she has been continuously defining herself through other people. I see her as leaving London and the love triangle with James and (unconfessed) Matthew (and Lila) to deconstruct a lot of the ideals she was trying to live up to and why. As for Matthew Fairchild, I made the deliberate decision for him to turn into a werewolf and have that separation from Shadowhunter society so that he could pursue the arts and build a better life that he would find more satisfaction with, also eventually becoming sober. I took inspiration from his time at the academy, particularly when he turns to Lila in one of the earlier acts and asks if it's so bad to not be a Shadowhunter. At first, he regrets turning, but I planned for him to wind up relieved.

Honestly, while this work is very self-insert (and that's not a bad thing generally, but I've been finding it uncomfortable as time goes on, so that's why I prefer to take it down and keep it to myself), it was also my way of going How It Should Have Ended for the TLH series as a whole. I started it before ChoT, yes, but that book only led to minor changes and alternate paths taken -- I was already using ChoI as a base to steer these characters in the directions I thought they should go.

The Rest Of Act Three

The rest of Act Three of the fanfic is summarised below (...at length. It's a lengthy summary).

We ended the fanfic on the chapter where James and Lila returned to London, 1903 of his dimension. He was gravely wounded in his left arm, which ends up being amputated despite the efforts of Lila and Lucie (and Gus' help too). This is, of course, a reference to the recent fan art of James where a headcanon went around that the reason we couldn't see his other arm was because it just didn't exist. I took it and ran, which was not planned. I knew I wanted James injured so that Lila could return the care he once had shown her when she was wounded badly, but it wasn't going to be as severe as it ended up being. This is how we ended up at the Institute instead of 48 Curzon Street as I had previously planned for the chapter. James was going to be fine, but Cordelia had decided to confront Lila about several things, and they'd end the night having kissed -- which in turn leads Lila to going for a walk to clear her head and her subsequently getting kidnapped by Jonathan Bell (the Other James from another dimension). Anyway, the change did make some of these plot points awkward (😭) hence why I spent ages editing the make out between Lila and Cordelia because I could not decide how it should start and end. It was a nightmare. As Silver pointed out, it didn't make a whole lot of sense in the order of events (Cordelia should have gone to see James first), but I was in a mad rush to finally release the update since I knew people were waiting. The kidnapping also was not quite as dramatic as I envisioned it, but oh well. I'm actually quite happy with the rest of the chapter though.

From there comes the rest of the fic that readers probably will not get to experience, so that's why I'm writing this out, so you at least know the mysteries that I won't get to reveal and how we get to the end.

Jonathan Bell kidnaps Lila and, through the use of shadow, they end up in Paris, France. This is where Matthew also fled after his mother released him from the Silent City cells after he persuaded her into it. Lila ending up there and being away from both James and Cordelia, and spending more one-on-one time with our antagonist and Matthew since the earlier parts of the book was always intended.

Jonathan is revealed to have possession of another silver pen, which is a reference to a previous fanfic I wrote (also deleted) called Chain of Lies, where the pen could literally rewrite reality if you used your own blood for ink. In Jonathan's dimension, Lila ended up staying in his world and marrying him, but she also dies of a mysterious sickness during their honeymoon, so he uses the pen to go back in time and cancel their honeymoon, under the impression she would not get sick. Instead, she was hit by a car several days earlier, and died in the accident. Jonathan goes back again to stop that from happening, but Lila ends up dying again anyway, over and over again in different ways, every time Jonathan reverses time to prevent each event from occurring. Eventually, he goes so far back in their timeline together that he's reliving the December when they met, and that's how he knows how to divert the accidents in WBITHOM that threaten harm to this other dimension's Lila (are you still with me?). But before that, he created a time loop in that December of his dimension just trying to keep Lila alive for two years of his life whereas everyone else remained the same, but stuck in time. It's supposed to be very angsty and tragic, and it's a demonstration of one of James Herondale's core traits eventually twisting horribly wrong: how he would do anything for those he loves, whether that be family, friends, or lovers.

This character flaw/strength is something I reference lightly a few times throughout the fanfic, mostly in the ways he is concerned about the safety of his family and friends which he tries to find out from Lila, who has read Chain of Iron and knows what the future is supposed to be, and then how he reflects on how he does not know what he would do when someone he loves dies. Honestly, the issue is that he cares too much about people, which is both a good thing and a bad thing, depending on how far it goes. Jonathan is the literal embodiment of what would happen if James' care went too far, if it bordered on obsession, if he wanted to keep someone from dying so bad that he would sacrifice everything else, even the universe.

So, Jonathan finally confesses to the time-loop and explains that as a drastic measure, he tried finding Lila in another dimension to see if he could save her there, but this tearing of the time-loop to escape it worsened a tear that Cordelia had already created in her fight with Belial and the Mandikhor to such a point that it started growing and expanding and destroying the fabric of time and space between dimensions and the universe as a whole. You know, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff (Doctor Who reference for those who get it). The thing he did not realise though is that in this timeline, Lila is not meant to die, so long as she goes back home instead of staying in 1903 (he still doesn't know this, it's just a fact I would have explained to the readers when we meet Circe, the employer of Poppy Morad (P.M.) and Saint Nicholas). This is supposed to leave Lila conflicted, because as much as she wants to hate his guts for being the reason for her family disappearing and the worlds ending, even this Other James is a reflection of her own nature, which is another thing that's been lingering beneath the surface for the duration as the fic: while James has a doppelganger that demonstrates who he might become if he cannot accept loss, he and Lila have similarities boiling beneath the surface that go unnoticed until an outburst we saw Lila have where she basically accuses James of being just like her (not complimentary at the time).

Lila as a character is someone who cares deeply, but is willing to sacrifice herself and others to protect what or who she cares deeply about (yet we also see her choose self-preservation over self-sacrifice a few times before she truly starts acting in service of others). Her circle of people she cares about is more limited than James', but the shared sentiments still stand. Plus, the way Jonathan has acted this entire time has always bordered on unnerving or odd -- I did that on purpose. He's been driven to obsession, where he's basically an extreme of what James and Lila believe in. And he is both James and not James in this way, if that makes sense. We see in one of Lila's nightmares earlier in the book Jonathan saying it does not matter which version of him he is or which version of her she is -- they belong together. Fully delusional at this point, but it's meant to be scary. I'm kind of obsessed that Jonathan is also a mirror for Lila to see how she might look to her James: someone who knows you way too well, but you've also never met nor know much about at all (she might know James but she does not know this one), who's inexplicably fixated on you (granted, James did not even begin to guess Lila's feelings, and hers were rather superficial in a way until they spent more time together).

Anyway, basically, the start of this rewrite of Chain of Lies pretty much began with these dynamics between the two Jameses and Lila. It was a whole thing with diagrams and late night ranting to my poor sister and everything.

So, of course, Lila is conflicted and she also does not know how she's supposed to get Jonathan to reverse the problem he has created -- whether he's also supposed to go back to his dimension and whether that will be enough to repair the tear. Most of this happens in the Notre Dame cathedral because I said so (I like cathedrals as settings, sue me if you dare).

Meanwhile, Matthew has been in Paris and totally avoiding Charles, so he also hears nothing of Will and Tessa being notified about James' injury in London and leaving by portal. But he does hear some French Shadowhunter gossip about the Consul's werewolf son's disappearance when he discovers Lila being taken to the cathedral by a masked man. Then ensues a solo rescue operation. Honestly, I always have a lot of fun writing Matthew, it's hard not to include him more. Anyway, the rescue is successful, and he takes Lila back to his hotel room to lay low for the night before he gets her back to London with the others (since he recognises that they must have no idea where she is, what happened, and she's an integral part of solving this whole mess, as people are still disappearing in this world).

I had a really nice scene planned that I'd been waiting the entire book to write, but basically Lila and Matthew spend a sober night together (as opposed to their time in the Silent City together) where they talk about all their woes, including their love lives, and eventually they get on to the topic of how they could have smoothed over both their dilemmas if they just had each other as lovers, if only their similarities were not such that would probably be self-destructive at this point in their lives. Because we've seen often in the book other characters compare these two, but it's these two themselves who recognise that, yes, they are alike in some ways, but not the ways it counts in order to have a healthy romantic relationship. They settle on being good friends. Matthew also takes her measurements so they can pick up some quick changes of clothes since Lila's still wearing her grimy outfit she wore during the explosion. And she also brings up that she knows he's an artist, but asks that she have the chance to sketch him, and he offers to do so in return, so they spend the rest of the night drawing, which I just find so sweet. There's not much significance in that at face value, it's just cute, but I also see Matthew embracing an old hobby as one of the first steps he takes in moving on from all his pain and finding better outlets for it.

Also, the platonic nature between Lila and Matthew, the complicated romance with James and Cordelia, and then all the familial themes and side-plots going on are all part of an idea I had going into this that I wanted to demonstrate many facets of love and the importance of each in their individual right. If anything, given the extreme slowburn I've come at James/Lila/Cordelia with particularly, I want to end this book purposefully with none of them winding up together because so many other things mattered more than their romance, and even the kind of loves they have for each other are a reason they don't end up staying because they would all rather see each other safe and not see each other at all than know they might cause other problems by being in the wrong dimensions.

Anyway, because I do multiple perspectives for everything, while Matthew and Lila and Jonathan have their bit going on in Paris, back in London we see James coming to terms with his disability and in all his rumination over what's happened and Lila being missing but him being unable to go out and find her, James finally (FINALLY!) realises his romantic feelings for Lila. This also leads to a scene between him and Cordelia where they both discuss Lila and their feelings for her. Cordelia also confesses how she has felt for James for a long time, but she also explains that she wants nothing to come of it anymore because she does not see herself settling down with him like she previously thought. James is a bit stung by this (I mean, my guy had no idea about Cordelia's true feelings until now and then she also springs a rejection on him at the same time when he's just begun to realise some of his own feelings around her) but is ultimately relieved since he feels he needs more time to figure out who he is and the life he wants without the bracelet numbing him.

We also would have seen Poppy Morad and Saint Nicholas again and their increasing distress and alarm with how difficult Jonathan Bell has been to track and control since he's hared of to Paris with Lila.

When Jonathan finds out Lila's gone, he feels betrayed and frustrated by his failure. Because while he feels he has saved her, she's refusing to be his as she once was in his dimension (also why he was confused and then against her leaving and going home earlier in the story). The world is breaking down around him (we start to see parts of Paris going up in flames, not unlike London 2021 of Lila's dimension) and he's about to go track Lila down again (but now he's going a bit more heavily into Villain Mode).

We also see Poppy Morad closing in on Jonathan as he returns to London when she's defecting orders from Circe, her higher up, to take him down instead of corralling Lila's effects on the timeline.

Lila and Matthew return to London on Christmas Eve just hours before the end of the world properly starts in 1903. This is also when she and James interact for the first time since he passed out on the bridge several days ago. I was a bit undecided on how I wanted this scene to look, other than I needed them to finally confess their feelings for each other in the rain like a cliche after they have an argument where Lila says that James has everything she wants (and this is where we realise the root of her problem in this whole book is not simply loneliness, but a dissatisfaction with herself and her life, which has lent itself to the more superficial issues she's been having) but that ultimately she also just wanted him though she knows she cannot be with him without risking everything. So, when James confesses his side, they decide to spend what little time they have left with each other as best as they can. (And this where I as an author push them together like Barbie dolls and go "now kiss").

Have I mentioned this story has too many layers and plot points and it's been driving me mad this entire time I've been writing it? Anyway.

They quickly determine with The Gang™️ that "Belial" and "Lilith" are not who they seem to be anymore, because while Alastair just got arrested for the murder of Lilian Highsmith (oh yeah, that happens while Lila and Matthew are in Paris, because I wanted a reversal where it's Thomas who stands up for Alastair when he's accused of murder, just for funsies) everything else that has happened seems to be related to whoever this P.M. (remember when Cordelia was also accused of murder because Filomena thought she saw Cordelia when she was attacked?) and Matthew body double is (spoiler: Poppy Morad and Saint Nicholas are codenames for other versions of Cordelia Carstairs and Matthew Fairchild in another timeline, I'll explain more about this later, but what you can probably surmise already is that this alternate Cordelia has taken the place of Belial within this dimension and is the one murdering all the victims (including her father. That was a difficult point, because we see in a PM and Saint Nick scene that he's concerned about whether she can go through with it) and Matthew has taken Lilith's place in some minor ways (like hiding and then handing back Cortana at the right moments)).

Anyway, because Lila's kind of behind on some events, she goes to confess to Cordelia (but explain how she also feels about James), when Cordelia says there's a lot more she wants out of life before she pursues romance again. That she's been so consumed by it, by finding love, by getting married, she's lost who she is beneath it all. (Have you noticed the theme for every character in this fic is basically authenticity and finding oneself despite whatever circumstances they find themselves in?)

Then, we also would have seen Lila dedicate herself to taking down Jonathan herself since he's the main problem that's tearing things apart and perhaps if he's killed then he can no longer influence time and reality.

Vaguely, I had planned that James and Lila would have what my outline says is "an emotional night together" because it could mean literally anything and I wasn't totally sure where I wanted it to go. So. Interpret that one how you will with whatever you prefer, honestly. Anyway, while that's happening, we see Matthew go home to his mother who is, understandably, worried sick and mad because he never wrote to her like he was supposed to and Charles return without him. We see Matthew collapse into her arms and just sob. That was the plan. It's important to me that he's actually vulnerable with her for once and that he, a young man too big to be in his mother's arms, lets himself be held anyway. There was also supposed to be a wholesome Thomastair moment that I hadn't really planned, though I knew Alastair would go home with Cordelia afterwards and she would start her journey to forgiving him. We also would have seen her kneel in front of Sona to confess A Whole Lot Of Things about what's been happening in her life, from as early as the marriage blanc and the Blackthorn Manor incident. Basically, everything is supposed to be hopeful even if it hurts just a bit and feels a little bittersweet. Because then in the chapter this all would have taken place in, we'd end with Saint Nicholas and Poppy Morad collecting the pithos from Christopher who picked it up in the background of everything (basically, all the Belial storyline has still been operating as it should, except it's being orchestrated by PM instead of Belial), when Jonathan sneaks up on them and fatally wounds (he had the intent to kill) Saint Nicholas, who he is shocked to find out in that moment is an alternate Matthew.

AND THEN, next chapter we would have had at the tolling of midnight, signaling Christmas day, PM the alternate Cordelia (whose character is the way it is because she's been hardened by some long and traumatic years -- she and alternate Matthew have a tragic backstory that I've been keeping in my back pocket that wasn't really necessary to be explained in the story, but if you want to know more, just ask) drags a dying alternate Matthew back to their tent where Circe, their mysterious employer, is torn away from her work elsewhere to start enacting emergency world-fixing in this timeline. This is also when we find out Circe's identity: she is Cassandra Clare, once again (if you read Chain of Lies) who's codename was derived from the common shortened CC she's referred to in fandom, who has universal powers and basically controls (to an extent) a good portion of the universe. Like a god. But also not. It's a whole mysterious thing that I never intended to explain because I think some things are better unexplained.

THEN, Jonathan shows up to 48 Curzon Street, covered in blood and calling for Lila. A fight between him and James (and sort of Lila who's attacking Jonathan though he refuses to attack her) ensues before he ends it all by taking out a silver pen (The Silver Pen) where we see 'Nikoletta' engraved on it, and writes a time-loop which snaps the final threads keeping all the timelines and dimensions in order.

Act Four Explained Slightly More Briefly

This is the final act of the book and also the shortest. It was planned to only be about six chapters long. Now, I was most excited about this part of the book because I had ✨visions✨. No, literally, the entire inspiration of this entire fanfic came from a dream I had about James Herondale as Spider-Man, me impersonating Cordelia Carstairs and not knowing how to do Shadowhunter things, Santa Claus as Father Time, and the end of the universe, and this is where we would have finally get to see it all come together.

We kick it off with an entire chapter dedicated to a lot of scenes similar to what I've written earlier in the book with Lila and James' nightmares, where nothing makes complete sense and yet the reader is meant to feel on the cusp of understanding something alongside the characters before the dreams usually end. Only they don't here. The dreams are reality, but reality is broken, and there is no waking up because there is also no sleeping and there is no normal but faint memories of what came before. So not only is the environment ever-shifting (think of it almost like a kaleidoscope and you have maybe a quarter of my vision here), but the people also keep "glitching" between different versions of themselves at different points in time and in different realities even (sometimes the doubles join and then they split apart, it's a weird nightmareish sort of thing in my mind), and so they also have different memories and levels of knowledge about things that have happened and what's going on. We see it mostly through Lila and James' perspectives. There's supposed to be a lot of angst and a feel like everything is a fever dream.

In the next chapter, things only start to get slightly ordered when Jonathan Bell finds Lila and says he'll rewrite the universe she wants so that it's perfect for her, and can have it be anything she wants, so long as they are together (major creep vibes though, honestly, as sweet as this might sound to some). This is also me addressing a problem from my original fanfic before this one, Chain of Lies, where I basically gave that silver pen waaay too much power, and now I'm demonstrating what it can do and so, like the one ring to rule them all, it must be destroyed (once Lila or someone else gets a hold of it to rewrite and fix the fabric of everything). Alastair saves Lila from Jonathan this time (he's still a bit prickly, but we see he still cares about Lila anyway), and demands she go find Cordelia to end Jonathan (Cordelia has Cortana which can cut through anything, which is important). Then we also would have seen that James is stranded somewhere with a fluctuating Matthew (the vision is that he keeps changing states from a werewolf to a living corpse to himself at various ages) and they are attempting to find PM, the alternate Cordelia, who knows Circe who should be able to fix everything as PM explains (she got separated from Circe and Saint Nicholas when the world went crazy). She leads them partway before she's taken by the collapsing world (she disappears basically, because that can still happen to people). When Lila finds her Cordelia, she's in the Paladin state (imagine glowing eyes and a vague aura of scariness with a glowing sword and you've got it) and it takes a bit to get through to her so they can make a plan to take down Jonathan.

Chapter after that, we have Cordelia distracting Jonathan so Lila can steal the pen, but she realises she does not know how to write an ending that does not kill all the Jameses since, as Jonathan once put it in her nightmares, "it does not matter which version of him I am... we are the same". This hesitance gets Cordelia fatally wounded, though she's not quite dead yet, but it's the final push Lila needs to kill Jonathan with Cortana (as also seen in a dream she had ages ago without realising it), and Circe finally manages to pull enough worldly strings in this chaos to pause time long enough for James and Lila to reunite to do the re-writing with her.

From there, we have two alternate paths. I called these basically "the happy ending that could have been" and "the bittersweet ending that was", which I was inspired to write by The Umbrella Academy (if you know, you know, I won't spoil it for anyone else who doesn't).

In the happy ending that could have been, we see the characters a couple years down the line. We also find out that Lila would not have died like she did in the other universe. She and James are together and they end up planning to propose to each other on the same day, which is the day after Lila successfully ascends. Then we see Cordelia and Matthew travelling together across the world as friends. After that, we would have seen Thomas and Alastair having dinner at the Lightwoods'. Finally, the Raftis family believe Lila is missing, presumed dead, but after a couple years they are finally moving on.

The bittersweet ending that was though is where Lila goes home. The friends she's made in London 1903 see her off before James takes her back to her dimension where they'd have one final goodbye on Blackfriars Bridge. That night, Cordelia gets on a train to set off and travel on her own. We also see Matthew, who has already picked up Oscar a couple days earlier, going to Gus' flat to complain that Oscar misses Gus and would not stop whining until they came by. We see Matthew finally tentatively suggest a first date, and Gus would accept. We close this part of the ending much like we started the book, with James walking alone in the night, just as he was when he left the Devil Tavern and his story took a different direction to canon when he found himself outside Cornwall Gardens where he met with Alastair. This time, James is alone, and he's feeling a little hopeful about the future ahead.

We get one final chapter before the epilogue where it's mostly Lila's perspective as she finally gets to experience Christmas with her family in 2021 and I planned for the beginning of some family healing and bonding to occur. Then we would have seen future James once more, who it turns out is now tasked by Circe (CC) with maintaining the space between dimensions, but this means he can't be in any one for very long since it's a lot of work that takes up time.

And now we get to the epilogue. Every time I imagine this, I get a little emotional. The epilogue would have began several years in the future with Lila dropping a bi-annual letter into the Thames, which I liken to the River Styx, in that it's where all lost things end up. We see, rather comedically, that she has moved out with the money she gained from some things she "stole" from Curzon Street, as well as her mysterious finding of the adamas, which scientists in her world are still amazed by. We are surprised to see though that when she goes home, she's living with the version of Matthew who nearly died in his previous role as Saint Nicholas, because CC gave him a chance to live out a new life elsewhere, in a dimension where there was not another version of himself. He and Lila seem to be doing well.

We cut to James of around December 1905 who has gone to visit his family at the Institute, where Lucie and Jesse are pouring over Cordelia's latest letter from abroad. James says he was just at Matthew's flat, and Gus was telling him about theories of time travel that the mundanes at the university Gus attends were discussing. We also find out that James himself has written a book, a science fiction piece with a ridiculously long title, about different worlds and the doubles of people that exist. After the dinner, he goes to Blackfriars Bridge and produces several of Lila's letters out of a pocket before stowing them away and shadow travelling to her dimension to leave a letter for her.

The fanfic would have ended on James' letter, which mentions briefly that he is having nightmares again of Belial's return since they have heard nothing have what happened with CC. Aside from that, the letter is rather sweet. But we see that Lila never gets a chance to read it, because CC collects it first and burns it with a lighter while humming "it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas".

Concluding Words

And that, ladies, gents, and fair folk, was how Wasting Beats In This Heart Of Mine would have ended. It has potential for a sequel. One I never want to write except in my head because, man, I am so exhausted by this fanfic alone after I already did it as a rewrite of Chain of Lies. If anything, this is the sequel to Chain of Lies and the next potential story would be the third book. It's been a long few years, I'll tell you that.

Some final things:

If you're wondering about that green coat I was always mentioning: it was supposed to be my tell, along with the gold-ringed eyes, for Saint Nicholas being an alternate Matthew, who is also the leader of the SoHo wolf pack in his origin universe. For Poppy Morad as the alternate Cordelia, who worked as Matthew's partner in time shenanigans, it was the fact that people forgot her face once they saw it because of a facial rune she applies (one that does not exist but she has courtesy of working for The CC). That's why people often knew they saw Cordelia, but could not remember the details of that meeting, if they managed to remember her at all.

The reason Lila has essentially what I call "a death aura" is because of her alternate selves, many of whom die, and it's something that leaks between worlds as the walls steadily break down.

At some point in Le Grand Reveal Of The Time-loop, Lila realises that the detailing on Jonathan's mask matches the floral detail on the back of The Joker card she's been carrying around with her sister's initials this whole time, which hints at just how significant some of the objects in this story are and the meanings they can give (The Fool and The Master being other common names for the card, related to its unpredictability and capability of being anything).

Jonathan wears, obviously, his crimson cape, but his clothes are a deep navy blue and this is part of my reference to Spider-Man and the original dream that inspired all of this.

Future James does indeed have diamond stud earrings. I said so.

At the end of the book, CC would have reinstated Lilith and Belial (whom she removed for previously causing problems in other dimensions where they became too aware of alternate timelines) with altered memories, so the stories can generally continue where they left off (some a couple years later, which has some interesting effects if I wrote the next book, in theory).

And I think that's all I have. But if anyone has any questions at all, feel free to reply to the post to ask, message me, or put it straight into the ask box, I'm more than happy to answer since I'm already depriving you of a properly written-out neat ending to everything. Reminder that I am deleting the fanfic WBITHOM in roughly 48 hours from the time of this post, so after that it will not be available on any public platforms for reading. I am not taking down any of my other fanfics (except for the few that I already have some weeks ago).

Thank you to the readers who have supported me on this longass journey. You were often the reason I kept going when I wanted to give up on writing fanfic, especially writing this one, which has been a very trying process (I mean, it took me half a day just to explain the last approximate third of the damn book, for crying out loud). I appreciate the kudos, the comments, and all the enthusiasm. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Take care now, and I'll see you in the updates of other works in the future.

-- streettealee

P.S. special thank you to @thevagabondexpress who endured many hours of me blabbering way too much about this fic and these characters, who I pestered to give me feedback as I fretted over whether I was doing everything right (spoiler: there's no right way, just better ways), and who cared about this when I struggled to. You suggested I might find a way to give readers some closure. And so I also give thanks to @faithfromanewperspective, who went nuts for an Australian OC (understandably, as I would too) and blazed through my entire fic and encouraged me inadvertently to start updating again after a long dry spell. You still absolutely get to see my drafts and outline next time we catch up in person, but I hope for now that this is a good description of the rest of what the book would have been and it gives you some closure, as well as for the other readers. Thank you also to @quantummeep for reading and commenting! I can never get out of my head how even early on in your reading you recognised all the plot threads that I had been weaving together, and it meant so much to me that you appreciated the level of detail I tried to work with.

Thank you all and to the other readers who also supported me 💛

[sharpth1ng]

hey again!! thank you for answering my ask, and for the clarification! i figured you probably had it all sorted out because you're a grown adult and seem to know your stuff but i still said something anyways just in case haha

i should have been more clear with my original ask but i myself still find all this stuff quite confusing so thats my bad sorry 😞 basically it has nothing to do with the labour of printing or if the company publishes it or not, it’s because fan fiction is already grey area, it’s ok when no one is making money off it. as soon as at any point someone makes any money off it, like these printing companies, or commissioning someone on etsy, or even just going somewhere local to get the pages printed, it now becomes illegal - fanworks infringe on the creator's intellectual property and you need a licencing agreement if it's not public domain etc blah blah blah you get it lol

as soon as the word "pay" comes in, it's illegal - you can't pay for anything, even if you are the one that wrote the fanfic (which fucking sucks). but your merch and stuff is completely fine because the references are based on your original writing, like theyre not gonna be like "how dare you sell this tshirt with a bloody B on it thats illegal!!" bcs that whole thing is entirely unique to your work and has no ties to the original property 👍

but thats just my understanding of it, and the specifications of it can get really confusing!! same thing happens with fanart too, technically you aren't allowed to sell fanart - that's why people often only sell it irl at cons to avoid copyright strikes. but then again there is people selling fanart on redbubble and in fanzines etc so like, i honestly don't know how that side of it works as well?? i think its under a different law since it’s a transformative work maybe...??

its all very confusing i wish clarification was more clear 😭 but you sound like you've looked into it and know what you're doing so thats fantastic, and i'm glad to hear. thank you again for answering so quickly i dont mean to be a bother. ur a talented writer and i loved debaser, keep it up 😊

Yeah no problem! I do appreciate the effort to give a heads up. And like to be fair I’ve done my research but I’m not a copyright lawyer or a legal scholar and the law on this stuff is very confusing to me.

In terms of the fanart stuff my understanding is that it is illegal to sell but for the most part fan Artist are too small for copyright holders to go after, it’s just not really a thing that’s done for the most part. There’s even a number of situations where selling fanart led to those artists being directly employed by the copyright holders. I think it’s very rare for fan artists to get sued for copy right and the only examples I know of are from Disney.

For the most part fanart sold is illegal, but it’s similar to torrenting content where its not really enforced so people do it anyways, and often at a pretty large scale. The stuff on red bubble and in fanzines is also illegal as far as I know, it doesn’t count as transformative.

Honestly I think it’s very unlikely that anyone printing my work would get targeted like that, mostly because this fandom is small and I’m even smaller. I only have a little over 1000 followers here and while that’s more followers than I’ve ever had before in my life it’s pretty much microscopic on the internet. Beyond that there’s less than a handful of printed copies as far as I’m aware.

Honeslty I have a lot of issues with copyright law- obviously it needs to apply to things like generative AI which is essentially a very environmentally damaging collage machine, but in terms of fanart and fanfiction I really don’t see how it could be construed as taking away profit from copyright holders.

People for the most part only read my work because they were already into scream, and a number of people have even told me my work got them to watch scream so if anything I’ve created profit for them. Fandom is the reason these original works have the legacy they do, and fanworks are a massive part of that because you can only consume the original content so many times before you get bored.

Beyond that we wouldn’t have some of our most highly acclaimed cultural works if copyright law had existed hundreds of years ago. Like, Shakespeare would have been fucked.

Alright lmao rant over. Tl;dr I’m doing my best to do this all in a legal way, but it’s good for folks to be aware that there may be an issue with the legality of printing my work even if they aren’t paying me. I think it’s unlikely any of you will face repercussions because this fandom is miniscule but if you’re worried maybe don’t post on Tumblr- but feel free to dm me or post in my discord 👍

[it-one-line-at-a-time]

maybe you could do the 1990s version line by line or i was going to say the book but that will take so long or even like an iconic reddie fanfic like mixtape

I've definitely considered doing the mini-series. I haven't actually seen it yet (!) so I have that on my to-do list, but it's definitely something that intrigues me!!

Doing the book, you're right, would take soooooo long (I guess over a year if I do updates every thirty minutes; of course, longer if I do updates every hour, like I have been for the second half of Chapter 2). However, ever since I first read this ask, I can't lie - it has been living in my brain rent-free. How would I do it - one paragraph at a time? One sentence? Honestly I'll probably put out a poll nearer to the time if I do decide to do it, just to gauge an idea of what the general public (of Tumblr) would prefer!

If I do end up doing a fanfic (like Mixtape, which I also haven't yet read [I fuckin' know, I'm useless!]), it would definitely be the last of the lot, as I would prioritise the canon stuff first. So no promises, however, that is not to say it's a bad idea; I shall definitely give it a good thought!

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

Re: discussing fan works publicly.

As a writer, I imagine coming across a post on my dash at random, of people openly criticising a fic I’ve written and the thought makes me feel ill. I think it would genuinely stop me from posting my work, maybe not permanently but for a long time.

As a reader, I’m so grateful people post fics at all. I’d be mortified if I saw people shitting on a fic I love on social media.

I think if a work is problematic and you’ve already commented to ask the author to tag appropriately or make changes and it’s gotten you no where, and you’re posting a PSA to warn people in the fandom who will be affected by the work to tread carefully, then yeah I can see how that would be necessary.

But I personally think it’s unnecessary to make a post mentioning a fic or author with comments like “yeah this fic needed to be beta read” or “this author writes this character soooo OOC” or “this character would NOT do that” or “look at this fic why would anyone ship this lmao”.

Feels like this really could just be in the DMs or a group chat or discord server where the author won’t come across it. Obviously yeah, people can post whatever they want on their blogs, but do people want to be the reason a fanfic author decides to never write again?

I’m like you. If I don’t like a fic, I just tap out. I don’t even complain about it in DMs because what if the other person enjoys it? I’m not taking that away. Just because it’s not my cup of tea doesn’t give me the right to stop someone else drinking it. The most I’ll ever do is block or mute an author on AO3 so I don’t accidentally read their works again.

These aren’t published books people are writing where public criticism is expected and encouraged. This is fanfiction written completely unpaid, usually unedited, specifically to share with a very selective fandom space.

There’s a level of vulnerability to all writing, but fanfic writers in particular, I would say most (if not all of us) choose to share our fics online because we trust fandom to be kind.

If people wanna post about their “honest thoughts” of a fic on social media, writers can’t stop them, but, god I hope y’all are being kind.

Hey ship! Thanks for weighing in on this! I appreciate your point about people being afraid to post if they hear negative criticism. Sorry for my delay, it's been a busy week. Yeah I think it's definitely a hard balance. We don't want to discourage people from writing, for sure. Writing is a gift! No one's being paid to write fanfiction.

From what I've heard from other people this week after my question was that it seems like there's a balance in terms of criticism on a specific fic. If you have a pairing that is very common, then if you write vaguely about not liking a pairing/fic it doesn't usually cause stress because it's not clear who's it is and it could be anyone. In general, it sounds like if someone wants to talk about something in a fic that bothers them, it is fine as long as they're not tagging the author/fic-- but generally just don't be a dick about it. Where it sounds like some wrinkles come in is if a pairing doesn't have a lot of fics attached to it. Then if a pairing is mentioned, it's much easier to deduce which fic it is, and then the writers may feel bad and it may seem more like a passive aggressive move. I think where it gets even more hairy is if we're not even talking about fics, we're talking just about pairings. Like I really love discussing the implications of specific pairings because I find it very useful to understand why someone might find it endearing. I'll be hard pressed to ever be pulled from my OTP but sometimes discussing pairings can help me to like a pairing I didn't like before, or just understand where people are coming from. (That's how I feel basically about all conversation, I like listening and learning from people, even if I don't necessarily agree by the end of it, being able to understand other people's perspectives help me to grow as a person, so I do think it's important to talk about things). Again though, where it seems like some of the struggle with that is if you've got a pairing (I'm going to crack ship Jackie and Buttons for this example) that isn't very common, again, it could seem like you're coming off as criticizing a fic when you may just be criticizing a pairing in general. It seems like there's a delicate balance-- because yeah I absolutely never wanna make anyone feel bad about their writing-- and like you said, writers trust that their fellow fans are going to be kind (and I never wanna betray that trust!). If they ask for feedback/ constructive criticism I'm happy to dm about it if it will help, but I don't want to make someone feel bad about their writing in general. We are all just having fun here. It does also seem like there are a lot of different perspectives when it comes to what is allowed feedback wise in fandoms, and so it seems like airing on the side of caution is a good way to go. All that being said-- if anyone ever wants to talk about things and they arent sure if what they say will be hurtful please feel free to dm me! I might be slow to respond depending on my capacity at home at the moment but i"m happy to talk it through. Also-- if I ever commit a faux pax or make someone feel bad please let me know! I never want to make people feel bad (and I try my best not to!), but I understand I'm an imperfect being like the rest of us so feedback is something I appreciate too. We all come from different levels of trauma... experience...neurodiversity, sometimes we won't say the right things from a place of ignorance, and one of the things I've appreciated over the years is when people were kind enough to give me constructive feedback about that. Anyway, thank you so much again for weighing in ship! Hope you're hanging in and have a lovely long weekend coming up! (if you're in the US, idk if the rest of the weekend is getting a day off)

[mlbigbang]

2022 General Fic Rec List

It's the end of the year which means it's finally time for the ML Big Bang's yearly fic rec lists! We're really excited to bring you our contributors' favourite fics started this year to supply you with plenty of reading material while you're waiting for the Big Bang fics' publication in January.

deliverin' by @fragileizy 5,750 words, General, 2/2 chapters

“Is everything okay?” “Yeah. Yes, of course it is, I just”—she swallows ash and ice—“it was just the Book I was reading. It, uh… their family separates after a bit, and it’s all a misunderstanding, and—” she can’t finish. She’s not allowed to. “Do you need a hug, Jules?” I need you to stay, she wants to cry. You’re my only brother. And I’ll miss you so terribly when you’re gone. Every day, I’ll be alone without you, because Mom will try to visit as often as you always visit me, but she’ll keep feeling guilty for the rest of our time together because she knows how upset I am. And she’ll be upset, too. I’ll never be able to watch her cry, but I’ll hear her. And I don’t think I’m strong enough to deal with that. “I do,” she says instead, wings closing up around her like a ball. “Please. Just for a little while.”

"Cute!!!"

Telling the bees by @feather-dancer 5,768 words, Teen, 1/1 chapter

Chloé and Zoé have a routine where at least once a week they meet up somewhere for a chat which is an excuse to get away from their shared mother and to vent as much as anything. Folklore says it is very important to keep the bees up to date with the coming and goings of their keepers, these two are no different. Part of Haven of Strays.

"Canon has denied us any real Zoe&Chloe sisterly content. It's up to the fanfic community ot make up the difference. This author does all that and more in a weighty interaction between two sisters who are not friends, but are sisters."

Chaotic Company by ADeadmansBliss 5,450 words, Mature, 1/1 chapter

It's been nearly a week since Adrien's acquisition of a new pet and unfortunately traumatic injury is not something that can be recovered from quickly. Bored with only an unconscious former hero for company he decides to sneak out to find some entertainment which goes fine until Hawkmoth decides to ruins it.

"It's unlike anything I've read before and it's so super fantastic!!!"

Stranger Acquaintance by @bugchat 1,885 words, Teen, 1/1 chapter

Marinette just wants to live her Special Agent life as quietly as possible. Put bad guys behind bars, maybe make friends with three people at work, and eat pizza once they close a case. What makes its way into her life is a mop of blond hair with a stunning smile and too much of a back-talking mouth to be healthy for her.

"It's an good AU concept with fun dynamics, and it's a short, easy read! Detective Marinette and her team of four being Alya, Nino and Kagami. There's so much room for sequels if the author chooses to!"

maybe shake a tambourine by noirshitsuji 1,703 words, Teen, 1/1 chapter

Written for a Miraculous Writer's Guild blog request: Start a story with "I need a place to stay." Felix looks at his cousin, sometimes. Looks and wonders. The silver ring he’d taken to wearing a couple of years ago is gone. But the Adrien he’s known since childhood isn’t there either, and, much as Felix would like to attribute the tapping he’s noticed his fingers do every time Adrien doesn’t answer one of his questions to annoyance, he knows it’s truly because he feels unnerved by it all.

"It's a lovely exploration in Felix's character and his feelings toward Adrien while absolutely teasing a glorious plot about Adrien, Marinette, and Gabriel"

(may we write it all down) in cursive light by @sunfoxfic 3,503 words, Teen, 1/1 chapter

Since retiring as a journalist, Alya hasn't been involved in an interview in several years. But now that her identity is out, that's about to change.

"An amazingly written future!fic that beautifully explores a time long after Hawkmoth's defeat and "our" heroes' retirement."

Off the Mark by @buggachat 4,632 words, General, 1/1 chapter

Ever since Nino's (frankly embarrassing) akumatization into Rocketear, Chat Noir's behavior had taken a strange and sudden turn in the presence of Carapace, and Nino could only think of one possible explanation: Chat Noir hated him. Somehow, Adrien didn't seem to agree.

"Any fic that focuses on Nino and Adrien being bffs is important. After Rocketear, Nino may have rambled a bit to Adrien about how weird it's been being around Chat Noir. Adrien is weirdly invested in this problem. A lot of misunderstanding leads to heightened emotions and eventual revelations. Just a really good examination of the difficulties of secret identities and being best friends."

Infestations and Maladies by @sunfoxfic 100 words, General, 1/1 chapter

Bunnix called Chat Noir to go to a mysterious version of the timeline and fix… something.

"A well-written drabble exploring a reverse Chat Blanc. A very clever concept written in a very clever way!"

In Memory Of by @graaythekwami 3,012 words, Teen, 1/1 chapter

Gabriel Agreste was never good with kids, but his granddaughter needed him.

"A very interesting story with a dark backstory, but it's very sweet and well-written."

I Am Your Ghost by @emmalylis 1,559 words, General, 1/1 chapter

Adrien attends one of Gabriel’s galas in his mother’s old dress.

"Adrien in a dress. Need I say more?"

goodbye, goodbye, goodbye (you were bigger than the whole sky) by @hanaasbananas 865 words, General, 1/1 chapter

Distantly, he hears the music still blaring behind him, the song mocking in its cheerfulness, imprinting itself into his memory as the soundtrack to his devastation. For a moment–the longest of his life–everything stands still, the universe holding its breath and then Sabine shrieks and it shatters like glass beneath his feet.

"This is short but its just so damn sad😭 hit me right in the feels"

Moon mission by @ultrakart 2,789 words, General, 1/1 chapter

For Fei, escaping her past is as difficult as trying to escape the Earth’s orbit.

"Kart is the king of the Shanghai special and this is such a sweet short fic that showcases just how great his writing over it is."

[jovenshires]

i personally feel like if you're writing rpf you've gotta be prepared that the people you're writing about do have internet access and aren't clueless y'know? like. i understand not wanting them to see it and for their sake id hope they wouldn't either but no one is entitled to write about a real person and then demand that real person can't access something that is literally About Them. like. just bc they're "famous" doesn't make them public domain yknow.

now i do find those youtubers read fanfic videos kinda cringe personally too bc i mean they always have to choose bad or funny ones otherwise itd be 10h long and awkward. but yeah im also like. those people chose to write and upload those somewhere on a public forum that the people they're writing about Do have access to. i feel like that just comes with the territory in rpf. they aren't fictional and they can in fact read those. if you don't want them to it should be shared somewhere very personal imo.

but yeah obviously since the majority of the fics that do get picked for those vids are probably written by teenagers i do feel kinda bad for them for that but i feel like thats a hard lesson in that those people are in fact real and can see it. i never rly enjoy the content where ppl read fanfics about themselves tho for this reason. but if this is going to be submitted ones i think that might be funny and definitely a better way to go about this on their part. i still dread it tho and will probably cringe out of my skin (also i wonder who that video will include...)

i do agree with you. i put a warning before all my fics in the hopes that they won't read it, but as my dear friend mer always says, i'm not a cop. i can't control what you do. and i joke that i want spencer agnew to block me but it's just that - a joke (well, a half-joke). if they're seeking this out, that's on them at that point. they are grownups; they know how the internet works and they know how to avoid things and how to search them out. i can't even really be pissed if they put my work in a video, bc hey, it's out there (even if i would rather they didn't look in my general direction). but at the same time, i will say this:

i am making these things about smosh members, but they're certainly not for smosh members. they can read them if they wish or use them if they wish (like i said i literally cant do anything to stop them bc, you're right, we do publish these things publically) but they're not made for them. so when they read them and they're like "oh, that's weird, who would write something like that," well. it wasn't intended for them to read in the first place. and now they've gone and alienated a bunch of people who looked up to them. people who watched their content and were inspired to create something. it's kind of hard to stomach when they're mocking a portion of their fanbase - and not only are they mocking them, but they're making them a butt of the joke for other portions of their fan base. they uplift fan artists and video editors, but fic authors for some reason are always looked down upon. i think there's a difference between acknowledging it exists / talking about it and directly making content to target it you know.

i don't know if there's a "lesson" to be learned from all this. i don't personally think those teens who were writing that fanfiction deserve to be ridiculed for it. i think they'd found a way to express themselves and that's great. i personally hadn't written for months when i started writing smosh fic again, and writing is truly one of my biggest passions in life. the smosh cast, who i'm incredibly grateful for, led me back to it. but i digress; maybe i'm just naive.

i'll also add: i'm not saying, like, fuck the smosh cast for this btw. like i do agree it is their right to look at things on the internet made about them and use it for content. they're even allowed to make fun of it. i'm sure to some people it is weird to read stuff like that about yourself, they're allowed to say that and have that opinion. so go ham, make this kind of video all you want. im just saying it's kind of a dick move and i personally am not a fan of it. but im not gonna stop watching smosh over it or anything and i don't think the cast is worse people for it. i just dislike this kind of video. i dislike a lot of videos - i don't enjoy the tntl trivial pursuit videos and the fortnite videos either. this doesn't make me any less of a fan of theirs, just an opinionated fan.

anyway, like i said, i'm glad it's submitted fics - truly, i'm thrilled. it's still not for me (like i said i already have a hard enough time watching smosh pit theater........ i simply cant do this) but i think it's fine and a good way to go about it!! i hope the video is, for everyone who enjoys this kind of thing, a good video. as for whos gonna be in it - could be anybody at this point (ive read so many pairings yall have no idea) but im so certain i/anthony is gonna be there.

tldr: i do agree, but i also think the renditions of this they've done in the past have mocked fic writers for no good reason. if you want to watch the video i hope you enjoy, and i'm glad they're using submitted fics this time ! <3

[turnwheelofthetwelve-if]

FAQ

(may be updated as time goes on)

Please read this page fully before sending an ask in. Thank you!

What is the series being written on?

ChoiceScript.

Can I make fanfic/art/etc? Can I show you my MCs/OCs/art/fanfic/etc?

Yes! Please do! I welcome it wholeheartedly and I'd love to see/hear about it!

Do you have a patreon or ko-fi?

No, not as of right now.

What is the point of this blog? What is the point of the other blogs?

This blog is meant to be a general hub for the series, where you can access the other books without having to do a giant search. I will also post world lore here as well as reblog any announcements/updates/fanart/etc regarding any of the books here as well.

The other blogs act exactly as a normal IF development blog will work.

Can I send in RO reacts to this blog?

Not to this blog. You may send them to the respective book's dev blog, however.

Can I send in questions about a specific book or books' RO(s) to this blog?

Not to this blog. You may send them to the respective book's dev blog, however.

Can I send questions about a specific book or book(s) MC(s) to this blog?

Not to this blog. You may send them to the respective book's dev blog, however.

Can I send in any questions about a specific book or book(s) to this blog?

Not to this blog. You may send them to the respective book's dev blog, however.

So what questions can I send in to this blog?

You may send in general overarching series wide questions to this blog.

You may ask about world lore, world mechanics, etc. You can also send in questions about the different sectors, including asking about just one.

You may ask general questions regarding the characters (i.e what are Relic Hunters?, please explain Guardians/Wardens more, can you tell us more about the Twelve, etc).

Will XYZ be in the series?

Maybe. This is a WIP so it's possible.

Is the rating 18+?

Yes.

Why is it rated 18+?

Various levels of violence, sex scenes, possibly sensitive topics, etc.

Will the sex scenes be mandatory?

No. You have the option to not see it at all, a fade to black, or the full version.

NOTE: There will be NO full versions of the sex scenes in the public versions.

How is the series formatted?

It's sectioned into 13 novella length books with 10 chapters each.

That means you'll read, on average, about 40k words each playthrough/read through, with each chapter having about 4k readable words.

This is equal to about 80 numbered pages if this were a physical book.

Each book will also follow the same plot outline as well, with the major event details and characters changing with each book.

What do you mean by "follow the same plot outline"?

Let's say there's a big plot relevant event that happens in Chapter 4. In this example, we're going to say it's a fight that forwards the plot along.

This important plot relevant fight will happen in every book in Chapter 4. The outcome, where the fight takes place, who it's against, what weapons/equipment are used, who's part of it on your side, etc will change with each book.

So, one book could have this fight be on an airship and the bad guys win. Another could have it as a sea battle and it's a draw while others could have it as like a city back-alley fight where the good guys win or could be fighting in a jungle where the "enemy" is the environment and not a person/people.

How many endings are there for each book?

One.

How many ROs are there?

There are 6 ROs in every book.

Will there be any poly routes?

Probably not, for the sake of keeping the word count low.

Will the ROs have romantic interests if MC doesn't romance them?

No.

Does MC have to romance someone?

No, but it is a romance story, so you probably should.

Where does the game take place?

Astelle (ah-stelle), a fictional post-apocalyptic fantasy world that's been torn into 13 pieces.

What are the general aesthetics of the world?

Fantasy meets Post-Apocalyptic meets Industrial Steampunk. The clothing and character names are all meant to be vaguely 1890s to 1910s sounding/inspired.

What are the sectors?

There are 12 sectors, or slices, of the world. They act like separate continents and countries. Each "represented" one of the Twelve.

Why do the sectors have two names?

Sector (number) is how each sector is officially addressed internationally. The sector name is what locals/people from there call their sector.

How does magic work in this world?

Magic used to be very common and abundant in the world. Ever since the Great Fracturing, however, and the Twelve disappeared, there hasn't been any magic since.

Who and/or what are the Twelve?

They're Gods/Primordial Forces that collaboratively worked together to create and "rule" over the world.

What are the Relics?

Relics are the objects that have a piece of a member of the Twelve's power stored inside. If wielded/held/kept/etc by that member's specific Warden, it grants the Warden with different fairly powerful abilities as well as the ability to communicate with that member of the Twelve directly. The Warden can also summon (read: politely ask) their member of the Twelve to earth with the Relic.

What are Wardens?

Wardens are people chosen by the Twelve to "represent" them on earth. If paired with their respective Relic, however, their abilities increase exponentially. They also gain the ability to talk and/or summon their respective member of the Twelve using the Relic.

Without the Relic, Wardens still possess abilities, but they are damped greatly. So if a Warden has the power to read minds if they have their Relic, without it, their ability is something similar to having really good intuition. Wardens can also speak with their member of the Twelve without the Relic, but it can only be in dreams and it's not a guarantee that the Warden will remember it when they wake up.

Note: It is impossible to summon a member of the Twelve without their Warden having their respective Relic

What are Guardians?

Guardians appeared 500 years after the Great Fracturing to protect Wardens as they tried to recover the lost Relics. These are people who are born with an innate intimate connection to their respective Warden.

Often times, they know instinctively where their Warden is, in terms of general location in the world. If the Warden is experiencing a particularly strong emotion or feeling, the Guardian can feel it as well. If the Warden and Guardian are fighting against an enemy, their movements are often in sync without needing prior discussion.

If a Warden and Guardian's relationship is very close, it's been said that the Warden and Guardian can see through each others eyes or even communicate telepathically.

The bond between a Warden and Guardian, however, is like a muscle. If it's not used regularly, it can atrophy and their connection is just like any other between people.

[wilteddreamsofbaldursgate]

11. Polishing your Post 

Publishing your story can be scary because once it’s out in the world, it’s literally out of your hands. 

Like editing, preparing your publication can be a little tedious. I assume you want to post your fic to tumblr, so keep in mind that, although you can always edit your post, reblogs from other people can’t be changed later on. So if you have, say, a typo, you can only change it in your original post. You put so much work into your fic, so it’s only natural that you want lots of people to read it. You already made your draft look nice and proper, but you’ll want to do the same for your tumblr post. Here’s a quick rundown of how to make your post more appealing: 

First things first: Open a new text post. You should be able to just copy and paste your draft from your writing program; tumblr will usually adopt your draft’s formatting (at least when you copy and paste from Google Docs on your computer!). 

Save the post as a draft. As I said before, I suggest you re-read your story again at this point—you’ll be able to see what the post is going to look like once you post it, and you’ll probably find some typos you missed in the editing process. It’s also easier to draft it because you’ll go back and forth fixing and updating your post anyway. 

Tag your post properly. You want your post to reach the right people. I’ll go into more detail about tagging here.

Find a good title for your fic. Titles are the first thing a potential reader will see when they stumble upon your fic, so choose them wisely. A good title can be whatever you deem fit, it’s really coming down to personal taste. I recommend going for something that captures the essence of your draft, but using lyrics, titles of songs or poems etc. is always a safe bet.

Place necessary warnings for your story at the top of your post. The same goes for a short description/excerpt of your story. If you cross-post your work to e.g. ao3, you can embed a link, too. If you have a beta reader, make sure to give them a shout-out, too!

Make your post look nice. Maybe add a banner/GIF/divider/etc.. If you haven’t made them yourself, make sure their creators are fine with you using their work before you publish your post and give credits! 

Tumblr has a “keep reading” tool—use that either right after your header or after the first couple of sentences of your story. It just looks nicer to have a compact version on your dashboard. 

Generally, you want to give your readers a quick overview of what’s to expect in your fic. 

Example (forgive the bad handwriting):

Now that you’ve done all that, and you’re happy with your draft and your post…well, it’s time to hit post—and voilá! You’ve just shared your very own fanfic with the world. Good job, I’m so proud of you! ♡

Next: How to Tag 

Masterlist

[tomasens]

Your thoughts on Fanfik the movie make me wonder what exactly is going on in the book(s?), lol sadly I don't speak polish. I've read some reviews saying the plot was rushed and simplified, but none quite so negative

Hi!! The English post about Fanfik was a jokey parody of a Will Wood post (I assume that's the post you saw!!) haha, my thoughts are still negative but not that... Dramatic ahahah, thank you for asking though and I'll try to explain my biggest gripes with the movie in a (hopefully) comprehensive way since it's 1 am here and I am Big Tired (finals season is starting this week and I am struggling ahhh)

I will discuss only the first book since the movie is only based on it btw‼️

I wanted to like this movie so bad, especially that Fanfik was a book that made me realize that I am not cis myself. I had very high hopes for the movie, especially that they hired a trans actor to play Tosiek! Like! Woah! But of course it couldn't have been good because FUCK YOU JULEK, YOU'RE DOOMED TO NEVER GET GOOD ADAPTATIONS OF YOUR FAVORITE BOOKS!

My biggest issue is that the movie GREATLY oversimplified the social commentary of the book. It involves a regular, dingy polish highschool that is basically a symbolic miniature of the polish public and its largely homophobic and otherwise generally xenophobic tendencies. The movie takes that idea and throws it out the window completely, making the school a lovely, clean and shiny private school (i don't remember if it's stated it's a private school but you can definitely TELL. No polish public highschool is like this. Trust me. And even if there are public schools like that, they're well funded and still don't deal with the same problems as regular schools do). Not only that, but the story's setting (for some unknown reason?? Genuinely I don't understand this choice) is changed from Poznań to the capital, Warszawa and I really hate that since Poznań is a symbol of the more progressive parts of Poland and using it as the setting furthered the ideas about how even the progressive parts of our (polish) society still need work. It could be me looking to deeply into the symbolism though - even then, I don't understand the change. Also, Leon lives in an extremely nice place - in the book his place was, again, dingy, cramped, he was barely getting by in general. These weird choices destroy the mature social commentary the book has to offer and it sucks! :/

Another big issue are the HORRIBLE writing choices and the oversimplification of every. Fucking. Character. I do not have the energy to discuss everyone, so I'll just focus on Tosiek and Leon, plus their relationship.

Tosiek. Oh god. He is not complicated and interesting like in the book, he's a douche. His drug habits are mentioned but quickly forgotten, the fanfic writing aspect is generally abandoned for most of the movie, his character is mean and dicky but because the movie refuses to give him actual problems he looks like a spoiled, whining rich kid. His only problem seems to be his relationship with his father but it isn't explored well enough for the audience to sympathize or at least understand Tosiek's stance. His transness is also flattened, like, to the point that it's comedic to me. I know some people did just. Put on boy clothes once and were like "oh I'm a guy cool" but if we're adapting a story of a character who is definitely NOT like that... Maybe we shouldn't present his trans journey as that simple.

Leon. Oh GOD. Leon is also a douche and that HURTS. He doesn't really face any meaningful consequences for wanting to use Tosiek as a beard when the dude was still girlmoding without telling him (asshole move btw. Like bro had no actual reason to do that he was just being a dick), he generally doesn't face any consequences, his character is boring, and when it's not boring it's rage inducing because like. Tosiek is a fucking asshole but I don't think movie Leon deserves even that guy. He's not a flawed person, he's one dimensional with a bunch of holes in him. Also please stop teaching ur boyfriend how to burp i am eating /j

Their relationship becomes the core of the story which is awful - the book focuses on Tosiek slowly coming to terms with his gender identity, on him trying to find new ways to cope, with him discovering things about his past (shown to him not by his father like in the movie but by the greatest character of all, his aunt, who was cut for... Time's sake I guess? Which is such a big fucking loss), with him learning to love himself. His relationship with Leon is slow, they're friends at first, they slowly, gradually develop feelings for each other, but Tosiek's feelings for Leon are only an excuse for the narrative to study his relationship with gender even more. Their attraction is shown at first by touches, by brushes of hands, not by KISSING. 20 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE. Sorry I cannot get over it, 20 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE. and 25 minutes into the movie Tosiek is sure of his gender identity completely and never questions it ever again because it would get in the way of The Cute Gay Romance. Like, the movie could be about Tosiek being a cis gay dude and experiencing homophobia and it would still make sense without changing barley anything - that's not a good trans story in general, but especially if you have such great, introspective source material ffs!

In conclusion, the movie got Netflix'd and Americanized - everything about it is devoid of the inherent polish...ness that was present in the book, the movie truly could've been written about some guy in Connecticut and it would be THE EXACT SAME, which sucks since polish queers are awesome and should have our stories properly shown. And also it feels like it was written for cis people, while the book definitely knows that it's target audience is trans people and shows love to them in many ways.

Keep in mind that I haven't read the book in a while and I might be mixing details up - I was already planning to reread the book carefully and make a post explaining how the movie fucked it up big time after my finals, I'll make sure to translate it into English so keep an eye out for that in the summer!

Thanks again for asking and reading anon! Cheers<33

(Also Tosiek is a nerd and it's a CRIME there wasn't at least one Hamilton reference because OH BOY do I remember being excited reading a Hamilton reference in one of the books when I was younger and still in my theatre kid who cannot sing act or dance era.)