#maybe multiple idk yet
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hello daily reminder to my mutuals that i love you /p. youre wonderful and fun and kind and im so glad youre all here and you chose to interact with me of all people. what're the odds?
#im. i have sonmucn#love#for everyone#so so mcuh love#im going to go write things for people and have fun#lex gets a nischa oneshot#maybe multiple idk yet#uhm#pango gets a starship fic#i have a lsug#lsit#list* fuck#maybe ill write a golden treasure oneshot for space#n a sheilinda oneshot for cherrie#OH and a barnroe shot for zazz!!!!!#i am havin ideas#<- hm. i think im smaller than i though#thought* cried#cries* I AM SOBBING 😭
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I started writing yet another tag essay in the notes of a different post where OP posited that the reason established relationships that are rock solid or functional are hard to write and find in fiction because there's missing tension due to the lack of will they won't they, and how one way to solve this in a story is to make the characters insane about each other. (The post is here.)
And don't get me wrong! I like when characters are a little or a lot unhinged about each other! and I also like relationships that self destruct, tragedies that end badly, and all that jazz I enjoy these things a lot! They're good things!
But I'm thinking about relationship tension again and how like, okay yes sometimes we want our characters confess they're in love with each other and get together and sail off into a soft epilogue, etc. This too is love!
But I think fundamentally to deny the fact that two (or more) people can love each other deeply, be totally committed to each other, and yet still have difficulties and life problems to tackle together is an underexplored facet of romance. The mundane of this is where the real romance lies on our day to day as people, and I find this so...rarely? tackled in fiction?
Maybe this is because I'm ace, but I feel that there's a distinct? vibe to these sorts of mature and enduring romances where like, the love is there, the commitment is there, but we still have moments we need to work for it because that's life and we work for it because we find each other worth it.
What is more romantic than compromise with someone you care for deeply? What is more romantic than tackling problems together and trying to come to an agreement and sometimes not being able to but still having done your best and accepted the outcome anyway?
What is a long lasting relationship that isn't about give and take and growing together or coming apart? Aren't those stories interesting? How could any long lasting relationship where people are deeply in love with each other be boring when like, to BE in a relationship with someone for ten, twenty, thirty, sixty years and come out the other side of that saying 'you're the one, you're still the one, you've always been the one' is one of the most wild and rare type of relationships to have?
What sort of sacrifice and compromise and work it takes to build that sort of relationship, isn't that interesting? To persist despite moments of doubt and periods of despair and all the work it takes in mundanity? all the trials a relationship like that has to survive and has survived, isn't that still tension? isn't that still interesting?
Maybe it's just me that I find this more interesting than "will they? won't they?" Either they will or they won't but when I'm reading a romance they mostly will! But do they have what it takes to stay there? And if they do isn't that one of the most interesting things in the world to look at?
Isn't that also love?
#writing#idk I just think maybe we should have more of these types of stories#I find mundanity interesting#maybe it's just because my parents met each other at 18 and 19 respectively#and have since moved across the world#had three children#multiple medical scares#and made so many sacrifices and their life stories are SO interesting#and yet they've come out the other side each day still being like#'you're the one and you've always been'#that makes me feel like these sorts of love stories are perhaps one of the wildest types of romances that we could ever have#and I'd love to see it more in fiction
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did a lil redraw of this old biddy for funzies :3 it was the first piece i'd drawn after we named them! i love them so much 😭
it's a feat to me how little they've changed since then, like a few tweaks here and there, but for the most part im proud of how locked in we were with ideas for these three. <3
here's the old post: X
#things i noticed::::: i de-yellowed philippa a bit#amelia looks more orange/pink now#i remember i'd wanted to show as little of ed's outfit as possible bc i was still pretty spanky new to trek and references were lacking#ermmmmmm YEAH SPANKY NEW so theyre in VOYAGER uniforms as adults lol IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#changed amelia's tail.... ive reworked all of their patterns multiple times but its not very noticeable ever lol#ALSO picard s3???? wasnt out yet. maybe season 2 as well idk it was feb 2022. uniforms in general for this era of trek were LACKING#i remember i was still watching voyager for the first time... might excuse the uniforms a bit more. think we were around s2 or 3...#i still feel very insecure at drawing human anatomy but ive grown a bit :)#My Art#Threshold#AU#Star Trek: Voyager#Amelia Janeway#Edward Janeway#Philippa Janeway#Human
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I think I'm gonna name him Warren. I like the name Warren
anyways, he works with North
#murl draws#murls ocs#im putting off coming up with last names. im even worse with them than regular names#ive also MAYBE finally come up with a normal name for The Lady.#yay :)#anyways his design will probably change multiple times bc thats how my brain is but i like him a lot rn#i wonder what this glowy thingy hes wearing is. wink wink#(translation: its gonna be significant in some way but idk how yet)#im actually kind of obsesses with him already#oc#my oc#oc art#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#whatever else#ive been watching A LOT of lilsimsie for maybe 2 years now? more????#idk#anyways thats where the name warren came to me from lmao
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"the michael kandel translation of "the witcher" short story can't hurt you!!"
the michael kandel translation of "the witcher" short story:
#WE HERE IN K L O T H S T U R#the witcher books#[ Nobody liked that. ]#i like how the first two 'main' translations (like published for mass market circulation ones i mean)#were like 'no we can't call it a strzyga... no no...'#(maybe like: 'the english readers won't understand...')#and then when the game and book hit (i.e. both beginning with geralt fighting the striga)#everyone was like 'whoa that striga was really cool'#idk idk enough about it yet to say anything definitively#but my experience and all the other reviews and experiences i've read#from other anglophone readers with no prior exposure to polish or broader slavic myth or culture#has been just like: 'whoa i never knew about that... that's really unique and cool'#and on the flip side. originally witcher gained popularity in part because of the familiarity of the fairy tale#and so despite that witcher in general takes a lot of everything from across europe#if i may just summarize it really obtusely and without taking the precaution of nuance and all#although the first two translations were very much intended to feature polish writers and writing#in the way of the actual translation it feels like they tried to diminish its 'polishness' for the english reader#like for example in chosen by fate itself there are no diacritics (though idk maybe that was a lack of capability of the printing press)#it FEELS like that i'm not saying it was intentional but#for example when you don't say 'leshies' and instead say 'bugbears' that feels like diminishing it#but then later when the witcher's quote-unquote 'polishness' is allowed to come through clearer#then it actually is part of why english audiences were like whoa this is interesting i like it :)#you know real-life events are stories too. and i feel like this is a story with a good moral: 'be yourself'#this is also one of the prime subjects where i disagree with sapkowski lol#because re: 'death of the author' theory type stuff. authors cannot control how their works are interpreted by their audiences#works get interpreted on their own fortunately or unfortunately#so though i think it would be misled to engage with the witcher as if its ONLY good quality is its 'polishness'#i think that also it should be acknowledged how its unique take on culture made it appealing to both domestic and foreign audiences#i think where the problem lies is when we believe it can't be both polish and a blend of multiple cultures and traditions#because like yeah. author is an arthurian weeb
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I used to be okay with the rival path for Merrill but replaying I just can’t do it anymore… she needs a friend who meets her with acceptance even when she’s wrong not more judgment and derision that further isolates her
#it took me so long to understand her#sometimes it takes multiple replays to break down my view of a character!!#I have always enjoyed her but now I love her too much to be unkind to her#granted im still in act 1 so maybe there are moments I haven’t come across again yet that needs the rival wake-up call but idk… idk#im soft now.#Merrill#dragon age
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Some mild existential dread in the house today
#im just feeling reeeeally really drained#works taking a LOT out of me#like. it feels less intense day to day? or maybe im reacting less? but its still very much piling up#and im just feeling very...idk. like im still waiting for permission to live my life#except now the permission osnt coming from any one person its. having the money to docit#and the time and the energy#and i guess thats just what adult life is? waiting#and hoping#and along the way losing sight of what i even wanted in the first place because im so *tired*#idk. i definitely need a project of some kind but im struggling to settle on something and then organise it#i have stuff to do today anyway. alfie had a lil bit of emergency cash saved so i need to go shopping#and i need to tidy the kitchen and do some dishes#and have a bath and shave at some point#i also want to draw but again. struggling ti pick something and idk if ill have the executive function spare#AND i want to try and be more social and talk to folks but thats its own kind of difficult#part of me would like a disc server that just has all of my friends in it bc i find it easier to dip in and out of conversarions#but i imagine that would be weird for folks who dont know each other#idk. lot goin through my mind when all i really want is sleep#which also hasnt been...greeeeat lately#mainly because Alfie wakes me up in the mornings bc they dont like being alone but also have a very different sleep schedule to me#and can take multiple smaller naps over a day whereas i really need a solid 8 or so hours or i just. dont fully switch on#but theyre also struggling atm (mentally and also they got an injury at work AND seperately broke their foot ffs)#so they need me more and its just#this never ending cycle of SOMETHING needs my attention#and its fucking exhausting asfghfkd#but!!! we keep goin!!!!! been applying for a bunch of jobs and havent heard anything positive yet but. we keep tryin huh
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I can't wait to learn more about Vegapunk Lilith. What is Stella's idea of the evil within himself? Does it have to do with his "sins" of creating the Mother Flame and studying the Void Century? Is evil his ambition and desire for peace that is ultimately too rash and short-sighted and leads to catastrophe? Because we know Lilith cares about her comrades. We know that she is helpful and pragmatic. We know she ISN'T defined by greed or violence. So how is she evil? Because I don't believe for a second that she doesn't somehow fit Stella's idea of evil in a way we haven't been shown yet. But I'm so eager to find out what that actually means.
#one piece#one piece spoilers#i guess?#is it a spoiler to say lilith hasn't done anything evil yet? idk#but yeah im so curious about Stella's morality bc he's such an interesting and nuanced character#very fun very morally gray and interestingly not quick to endorse or condemn just about anything#like he says on multiple occasions that he feels as if he doesn't have the necessary information to pass judgement on a situation#that to somebody else would probably be pretty cut and dry one way or the other#especially considering his insight#I'm willing to bet that he had the void century at least 90% figured out despite having maybe 15% of the story#but he both refused to share his speculation and also witheld any judgement in his broadcast#so we don't really know what he thinks it means to be good or to be evil#we know that evil is defiant towards good but will not divert their path just because good affirms it#we see this in Lilith's irritation at Shaka#but she also presses onward despite hating being told what to do by him#if Oda cooks with Lilith then the Vegapunks (especially Stella) will probably become some of my favorite characters#vegapunk#vegapunk lilith#vegapunk shaka#vegapunk stella
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yknow it is crazy to think about how much i have been able to improve my quality of life by selling art as a supplementary form of income. like obviously it's a second job and it's taxing but it's also so rewarding to know how much people enjoy my work and how much good it is doing me to like, feel like i can buy snacks at the store. to be able to get takeout every once in a while. like obviously those are extremely minor changes or things most people take for granted but to me it's huge. having berries in the house when they're out of season and more expensive. buying things for CONVENIENCE??! it feels so crazy to me to have such a sense of luxury which i know says more about the bleak feeling of poverty that's followed me around my entire adult life than anything else but i feel so much gratitude that i am afforded these small luxuries at least in part because of people that like my art. not to mention how nice is is to make things consistently again when, prior to 2020, i hadn't made art regularly in almost a decade. anyway. it's cool!
#of course there are extenuating circumstances! i finished my student loans in 2020 with help from family#i moved to a cheaper place in 2020. i get paid more now than i did then; even though i'm only working four days a week#obviously i am not RICH; i cannot afford to live by myself. housing here is crazy. but i can buy MEAT at the STORE#not only do i have SNACKS in the house i also have MULTIPLE KINDS! do you know how crazy that is.#and now of course a lot of it is combatting my wicked sense of guilt for buying anything i dont 'need'. like snacks.#but obviously i still buy them i just make myself feel bad about it for a while first. lmao#i mean i haven't done my taxes for 2023 yet who knows maybe i'll be hit with some big fees and i'll take this all back#but idk you gotta be grateful. anyway i think i'm gonna order pizza later#chatpost#i used patreon money to buy a new desk chair a couple years ago. a NEW one!! not one from the street!
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My appreciation for iris and ota as characters increases every time I play aitsf like I think the side characters in aini are more likable but they don’t have as much depth cuz you have to remember them in all these different points in time and their different relationships with all the protagonists and it gets really wishy washy but in the first game it’s just like. Here’s iris and ota, they’re fucking annoying and sketchy as hell. Please spend all your time with them 🥰
#aitsf#ai the somnium files#also i think if i put it on paper the general assembly of characters you interact with in the first game isnt much smaller than the second#but in aini it feels like theres too many people? and they dont get enough time#i find myself forgetting them a lot easier and i liked them and liked all their somniums#but idk maybe its cuz the first game is much more secluded and like characters get multiple different somniums#saito date and iris#everyone feels more involved in the case too#but to get into iris and ota more like its no secret that um. i fuckin hated those bitches when i first played#ive really come around on iris in particular but god i could not stand her the first time lol#but now like i think shes a very well written teenage character she does feel like a real teen and her relationships with mizuki date#and hitomi are in particular so so important to me the hitomi/iris relationship is severely underrated#and ota i think is a really good like. annoying stan character akdjsk#but i love his role i love the way he causes trouble for date i love how threatening yet non threatening he is#he has good depth as a character and his design is awesome and i would like to punch him#but i can also imagine myself being in like a strange unexpected friendship with him akdjms
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on the one hand listening to music while drawing is an easy solution to wanting uninterrupted background noise While I Draw however the downside is every time a new song starts theres a 50/50 chance that ill remember how i wanted to make an animatic/comic for it and ill scream inside
#snap chats#i think at this point ive abandoned my Im A Controversy animatic cause i just keep getting ideas for new ones and i wanna work on those#maybe if i finished my work for once i can finally do shit i WANT TO#but nooooo ive had Cubicles stuck in my head all month cause i wanna make a mine/minedai aniamtic for it so bad#or at least a comic. idk. i just know the chorus caresses my brain lovingly before beating me with a mallet as the images come in#and if i said i had multiple mcr songs i wanted to make animatics/comics for. no one is surprised#was talking to my mafia friend about how mcrs prob like. CONSISTENTLY our favorite band since middle school/maybe elementary#so it is no surprise most things i want to draw involving music involve their songs sorry im predictable everyone#by the by does anyone know the info on their new album. allegedly. alleged new album. is that out yet. im scared to check any info ever#so im hoping the day its out i have at least two people in my inbox telling me about it#anyways i have to finish this so i can go back to being sick bye
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i love doodling swapinverse like hello drawing characters aside from the normal mtt is lowkey therapeutic 🧡🧡🧡 anyways i FINALLY FINALLY finished crash's lore!!!! and vice.SER is connected to him,,,, theyre interconnected!!! i forgot how much i liked crash's design (not the design but all the little gimmicks in the design. figuring out all the hanging ribbon bits is annoying but hey it looks good)
#outertale does not exist in swapinverse anymore. how quaint#dude thalia and melpomene are th only ones that r like. 100% good#I NEED TO MAKE MORE GOOD AND NICE CHARACTERS😭😭😭😭#mst..... recreators (qip name 4 siphon n crash?) and vice.SER........ theyre all EVIL (or have evil goals)#i WAS thinking doing something with reaper because i adore his design and aesthetic and i wanna combine it with SOMETHING idk what#anyways if core frisk error which is supposed to be vice.SER exists then should normal core frisk exist too?????#i mean i dont think that just because a core frisk role esque person exists doesnt mean the role is instantly filled up#the mst and mtt co exist in swapinverse but those 3 are like.... NORMAL aus. not outcodss n stuff#i love the giant lance thing i gave crash. i mean the ribbons can form any weapon and take any shape (kinda like puella magi mami's guns)#but like..... it just is so cool i love characters that use multiple weapons#i LOVE (haha) every single little gimmick thing i give swapinverse characters. the tiny details is what i adore giving them#if you catch me not posting 4 a bit its probably just bc im working on swapinverse or jk fashion au. or maybe ive seriously just lost motiva#anyways i have a few banger rants in my drafts ive yet to elaborate om but just like....... i dont feel like it#someon needs to wrangle those posts out of my tired lazy arms#lowkey why do siphon and crash remind me of kanade and mafuyu. idk i cant explain#if you cut vice.ser in half it would be like jelly with binary in it. i wanna eat him#he would tingle on my tongue but thats just the static. eating yhe glasses would be difficult bit they dont have lenses so its ok#i drew them both looking at us but i think that vice.ser is the only true one always looking at US.looking out from inside#god i love swapinverse sooo much i wish i could get it done faster and be goatedly good with motivation. a shame#but i do think that i may be finishing up the character descriptions 500% ish sure#SO THEN THAT MEANS I CAN WORK ON THE ACTUAL STORY!!!! WOOOOO#ive already decided that theres gonna be mentions of me myself and i in it. i love meta storytelling#im cursed with perpetually sweaty hands i hate having to draw on slighty damp paper. nobody understands me#UGH im getting too happy in life im starting to act weird in public and offering to help people. i need to stop#anyways just school doodles!!! because in the period where they take our phones i have naught to do but draw#i need to get back (start) my english reading. and then help my friend with a few questions on her homework. how joyous#and then i can get back to my BETTER homework (working on swapinverse :3)#crash managed to destroy outertale in his lore i wonder how many worlds vice.SER will destroy#actually if hes supposed to be core frisk error then i should make him NOT destroy worlds right???? right#tricule rant
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I need a good video essay on a decent analog horror while I make my soup
#day musings#there's chainmail chasers#which idk if that has gotten a lot of traction#to have multiple video essays yet#Maybe also a reaction to it would be great bc it fascinates the hell outta me#there's also a slenderman video essay i have saved#Could watch that#Idk im lowkey picky about my essayists#they gotta have the right vibe#but also I just gotta get to my soup bc i have so much artfight to do
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concept art for my AU where the church lets House Gautier hold on to the dragon sign in case they didn't have a kid with a Crest and so Miklan doesn't get kicked out and he loves his little brother and everything is Fine Actually
#fire emblem#fire emblem three houses#fire emblem 3 houses#fe3h#miklan anschutz gautier#miklan#miklan gautier#my art#pencil sketch#he doesn't use the dragon sign usually because it gives him headaches and nightmares#(nabatean stuff is Weird and not really compatible with humans!!)#but if he needs to pick it up for like a border skirmish/invasion or a formal event where they want to show off‚ it's safe for him to use#when sylvain is home miklan hands the lance off to him asap bc it's less weird if you have the actual crest rather than just the dragon sign#he prefers to use an axe (i'm thinking fortress knight for his class given that he has pretty heavy armor in game + bulky physique)#also he doesn't have the scar here bc i figured that happened either when he got kicked out or in a bad fight while he was a bandit#though i might put it back and say he got it while defending the border#not sure yet. the au is still in the early stages of development lol#anyway he and sylvain are SIGNIFICANTLY less fucked up and traumatized here bc their parents didn't treat miklan like trash#so he had no reason to get jealous of sylvain so he didn't abuse him and try to kill him multiple times when they were kids 😅#sylvain still has some crest baby issues but not nearly as much bc less crest-related trauma + emotional support from miklan#their parents still suck ass but having an older sibling who's on your side is way different from one who abuses you and then disappears#i also think miklan and glenn were friends in this au#... i wonder if ingrid's parents would have betrothed her to miklan instead after glenn died#haha ingrid. you are engaged to my brother#though idk if they would want to introduce a different crest to the family given that the lance is specifically for the crest of gautier#maybe they'd figure that having one parent with crest blood increases the chance of a different crest kid#because we know crests can skip generations so maybe miklan has latent crest blood that could manifest in his children#that would be an au to think about... if miklan found a wife and had a kid b4 conand tower and the baby had the crest of gautier?#and he came back like FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE ME BITCHES UR GRANDSON HAS A FUCKING CREST!!#beep
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#im so confused#did the medicine that was suppose to make my cat stop vomiting#do the exact opposite for the last 12 hours#because little boy finally is looking like a cat again#AND asked for food and ate it all#now hes cleaning his entire body on the couch with me#i just#the medicine thats suppose to stop nausea#maybe literally made me think tonignt was it????#but now hes fine???#i mean not FINE but#once again a cat#hes had it multiple times before and also every night for MONTHS in pill form#idk man the fact that he hasnt thrown up yet im like whats happening#like he started getting sick today which is why they gave him the anti nausea meds#but then came home from that and was SO MUCH WORSE and clearly struggling#and i really thought his illness was just progressing so fast#idk maybe it still is im just confused as heck!!!!
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okay hear me out modern au where Tommy and Maria first meet in a club in their 20s and they bump into each other while dancing and just start dancing together and they just hit it off but in the end they both forget to give each other their numbers so both of them go back to the same club the next week to hopefully meet each other again (also Tess and Maria definitely go clubbing together because I love them as best friends)
cowboy!!!! yes yes YES i LOVE this. and u could extend this meet-cute into like a whole thing where tommy and maria keep trying to meet at the club and exchange information, but something gets in the way everytime!!!! kid emergency!!! bar fight!!! cocaine bear on the loose!!! zombie apocalypse—who knows????
im thinking the first time, tess drags maria to a bar she likes because she’s been trying to get the attention of this hot dilfy guy at the bar, but he’s always tailing along with his friend. by tess’s design, maria and tommy meet and and hit it off and dance (to maria maria by santana) the night away. they fall in love and decide they want to go home together, so maria goes to the bathroom—but joel randomly comes up and is like “tommy, hey sorry selena’s mom called, sarah had a nightmare and she wants us both to pick her up, we gotta go” and in true miller dad-uncle panic they BOLT. by the time maria comes back, tess is like “idk dude, mine got a call so they had to go. seemed like an emergency. bummer” and they assume thats that
on the flip side: everythings okay with sarah, but after tommy and joel tuck her in tommy’s suddenly just like “fuck—fuck!!!!!” and joels like “what? what???” and he’s like “i didn’t get her number :(:(:(:( fuck” and so joel’s like “it’s okay, i see her friend there all the time” and so tommy’s like “omg :D do you have her friends number?” “well… no” “joel… what the fuck man.” so they make a plan to go back next week with the hopes of at least seeing tess and getting maria’s number from there—tommy also wants to get tess’s number for joel, but he doesn’t need to know that
little do THEY know, tess and maria are already plotting for next weekend. they show up to that bar looking fine as FUCK—they quite literally turn heads walking through the door. of course the miller brothers are there, sitting in a booth all the way in the back and waiting, making eyes. tess and maria are not shy, so they start making their way over. unfortunately, some drunk asshole decides to try to get handsy with tess on her way there—which results in her punching him in the face, which results in him trying to punch her in the face. she dodges, of course, but it starts a full-on bar brawl that the miller boys jump into without hesitation (joel manages to tackle and land a few good ones on og drunk asshole too so. slay.). none of them get arrested or anything, but they definitely don’t get eachother numbers on account of joel and tommy having to duck the cops
so i guess they gotta keep trying ;)
#missed connections au#honestly idk how i would even end this i think its so fun to imagine scenarios where some shit goes down and the bar has to scatter 😭#tess calling joel her miller >#idk how joel turned into a shy type in this au but he did and i think itd be so cute#shameless flirt tess and shy nerdy dad joel who’s majorly oblivious?????? cmon#and then stuffy upcoming lawyer type maria who wants to be partner before shes 30#meeting veteran tommy who spends his days taking care of his niece working with his brother and being a good mf man#he just wants to watch her be great and talk about her achievements and explain stuff to him#hes very complimentary to her yet insecure and one of these meetups she finds out hes a literal human calculator#like is crazy good at multiplication. she just spends all night giving him rando equations and checking them with her calculator#they are just sexy geniuses i love them#his ultimate goal is to take her on a proper date and maybe cook for her#it takes maybe 5 bar meetups for that to happen#one time is just gonna be them sitting and talking for so long that they just forget about numbers bc it feels like they have them already#i dont imagine maria having a son in this au tbh#this could def be a whole fic lmfao#tysm for this cowboy what a treat#sorry it took me long i wanted to edit typos!!!!#asked and answered#tlou#tlou au#the tipsy bison#tommy x maria#tess x joel
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