#maybe its just bc im american
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Why are doctors so fucking useless like actually
They recommended I take vitamin b-12 supplements and do a sport. Thanks guys, intensive exercise with no reward sounds exactly like that'll cure my fatigue, pain, and depression! Definitely don't try and prescribe me any sort of medicine, because that won't fucking help at all!
#maybe its just bc im american#but seriously they suck#ive been trying to get a chronic fatigue diagnosis anf theyre doing my blood work AGAIN#and theyve been SO SHITTY#ABOUT ALL OF IT#more bloodwork isnt going to help#if its... chronic#because its not a vitamin deficiency 😯😯#anyway the us healthcare system sucks#especially for highschoolers#bc they just expect my mom to make all my medical decisions#kms
0 notes
Text
!!!!
#broadchurch#alec hardy#david tennant#ellie miller#olivia colman#this show is so underrated honestly idk how more people dont know about it#maybe its just bc im american but still
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Revenant Side Stories
Story VI: Farah
[Konchar] [Graves] [Gaz] [Price] [Novikov] [AO3]
This was originally going to be a retelling of the entirety of Farah's story in MW 2019, but I underestimated how long that would be, so these are more of snapshots of her life, up until 2019.
Farah is going to be a central character in part two because it will revolve around Urzikstan, so I was very excited to get into her character in depth. This was probably the hardest side story to write because I think the original story was already good (it's easier to write for something that had a lot of flaws in it rather than something good... maybe that's why I like cod after all these months lmao)
Anyway, I also decided I'm actually not done with the side stories, and the last actual one will be of... Roba, of all people. I know I made the comic for Ghost's origin story, but I never got to show what he did to Roba.
Alright That's enough rambling let's get to Farah's story
She doesn’t remember the first time she has heard of revenants. Humans who are saved from death, only to come back with abilities from worlds beyond their own. Of how they are revered, looked up to. And yet, misunderstood.
They don’t look up to revenants in Urzikstan.
The once-dead are not heroes among her people. They’re something to be pitied; people who chose to stay on earth and suffer, instead of move on to a better, calmer existence in the place after death. Take on the burden of the Reapers, dust off the dirt of their graves, and continue the endless fight for freedom.
In Urzikstan, revenants are called “those who sacrifice”.
Her baba taught her and her brother the different names of Reapers, told them tales of those who sacrifice as bedtime stories. She always found them fascinating, as opposed to her brother. They were often grim, their ending tragic and unsatisfying, but they felt more real like that. Felt more like her day-to-day life than any other fairy tale could.
She wouldn’t know how much her story would be like those, before it was too late.
The day she died is muddy, in her memory. Yet another thing she sacrificed, in order to stay in this world. A deafening whistle, followed by walls collapsing around her. Streaks of ash on the bloodless face of her mama. Pain, unlike anything she could imagine. The voices of her baba and brother and uncle, searching. The sickening shifting of concrete above her, whispers praying for mercy, the walls closing in on her-
And she dies.
At seven, before she knew how to write the alphabet, buried beneath the earth with only the pale face of her mother as comfort, Farah Ahmed Karim died. Yet, she did not move on.
The memory of the first time she saw her Reaper was clear. She may have forgotten her mother’s lullabies, or her father’s laughter. She has not been given the privilege to forget her Reaping.
The first thing she noticed was the clean air, an odd odor to it but blessedly lacking the dust she has been inhaling for what felt like hours. The lack of pain was the second - her legs no longer crushed under thick concrete walls.
The monster, was the third. A being made of sharp shapes, glistening metal melting and hardening, flowing through cracks in the stone face of the Reaper.
As the stone face moved, grinding against itself, Farah got up to her feet. Her legs screamed at her to run, but the memory of her baba’s stories calmed her.
“The ones who take do not mean harm to the ones who sacrifice, Farah.” he told her, whispering as to not wake her brother, “they need each other. They need our sacrifice.”
“What for, baba? Why would the ones who take need to give humans their powers?”
Baba sighs, a small smile on his lips as he tucks a stray hair behind her ear, “we don’t know for sure, but we must have something they don’t. Some say we humans were chosen by chance.”
“What do you think?” she asks, her endless craving to know more yet satiated.
“I think we and the ones who take are connected, somehow. I think we are the only ones that can sacrifice.”
Instead of running, instead of listening to all of her senses, Farah stepped forward, and with a small voice asked, “w-who are you?”
The stone face turns to stare at her.
“I AM MIGHT. THE STONE, THE BLADE, THE BULLET.”
The Reaper tilts its head, metal rivers splashing into an endless void.
“DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?”
Farah blinks away the tears that have gathered in her eyes, tries to speak louder, “I’m… I’m Farah? I’m a human, I’m-”
“YOU ARE NOT HUMAN, FARAH. YOU ARE DEAD, BURIED, CRUSHED.”
Her lips turn downwards, and she can’t stop the tears any longer, “w-why are you asking if you know?”
The rocks grind in an almost rhythmic way, and somehow Farah knows it is laughing. It makes her avert her eyes.
“Can… can you save my mama?” she asks, and the sound stops.
“I CANNOT SAVE YOUR MOTHER, FARAH.”
“S-she… I think she also died, can you-”
“I CANNOT SAVE YOUR MOTHER, FARAH.”
She grasps at the torn edges of her dress, sniffing her runny nose, “it’s not… it’s not fair…” her face scrunches as she sobs.
The Reaper leans forward, the light surrounding it reflecting with dazzling colors off of its body. Farah closes her eyes, not because she is afraid of it, but because she is afraid for her mama.
“I CANNOT SAVE HER, BUT I CAN SAVE YOU.”
Farah opens her eyes. Baba said he thinks only humans can sacrifice, but maybe not all humans can. Maybe mama wasn’t able to sacrifice, but…
She lifts her hands to wipe roughly at her face, tears and snot smearing on her skin. Her eyes trail up the falling liquid metal, beating heart deafening her ears.
Her voice is steady when she says, “I want to see baba and Hadir. I don’t want to leave them!”
The stones grind once more, a sort of excitement shaking the very ground.
“YOU WANT TO LIVE, FARAH.”
She nods and repeats, “I-I want to live!”
The Reaper tilts closer, its face level with hers.
“I WILL GIVE YOU THE MIGHT, THE STRENGTH, THE POWER TO LIVE, FARAH. AND I WILL TAKE YOUR SOUL.”
The metal drips near her feet, heat emanating from them. It reminds her of home.
“I choose to sacrifice. For you, for baba, for Hadir. For… for mama.” Farah whispers.
The stones shift, circling her. Her breath picks up at the thoughts of crushing walls, but it is not dark here. No one is shouting. She doesn’t smell death.
Metal singes her clothes, and she wants to jump back, but the stones stop her. It burns. It hurts.
It is not dark, but the bright colors blind her all the same.
“I ACCEPT YOUR SACRIFICE, FARAH.”
“MY MIGHT IS YOURS.”
When she wakes again, Farah doesn’t feel pain. She’s still under ruin, somewhere different from where she was before. All she sees of her mama is a hand, and she holds it. She notices the skin of her own hand glistening in the meager light filtering through dust and ash, like colorful metal. Like her Reaper.
It felt like hours pass before baba found her. She feels hunger and thirst, but the weight of the building doesn’t pain her anymore. Baba is crying when he finds her, pulls her out of the wreckage carefully, asking if she’s hurt.
She tells him nothing hurts. He pulls back from their embrace, his brows scrunched in confusion until he notices.
“I chose sacrifice, baba.”
Baba closes his eyes and hugs her harder, and she knows it would’ve hurt if she could feel it. He tells her everything will be alright. She wanted to believe it. She couldn’t.
They find mama. Hadir tries to wake her up, but Farah pulls his hands away. She tells him mama is in another place now, somewhere better than here. Hadir’s hands shake in hers, but he nods and pulls away.
Uncle and baba rush them home. Farah wants to cover her ears, the sirens don’t stop sounding, the noise pitching up and down along with her heart. Loud explosions make her flinch, so Hadir grabs her hand. It makes her feel safer, for a moment.
They run through the market. There’s a truck stopping in their way.
The Russians.
Baba lifts her in his arms, Uncle taking Hadir. They tell them to cover their mouth, when the Russians throw weird gas at them. It smells like the liquid mama used to clean their house, and it made her eyes itch and burn.
They enter their home, but baba doesn’t stop moving. He gives Hadir a gas mask. He will have to share his with Farah. Uncle leaves, telling baba he’ll meet them later.
“W-where are we going?” Hadir asks, clutching the mask.
Baba grabs a backpack, hidden behind the kitchen cabinets, “we’re going to the bridge, then to the mountains. There will be no sirens there.”
Farah hurries to follow him, wiping blood on her dress. Her skin isn’t bruised, but it feels weird.
“I don’t want to go…” Hadir says with a frown. Baba turns to look at him. He crouches and pets his shoulder.
“I know, dearest. I know. We will return, I promise.” his tone changed, stern like when he taught her not to touch the hot pan, “you need to be strong for your sister now, alright?”
Baba points to Hadir’s heart, “you keep mama here,” his hand moves to his head, “and you keep this clear. That’s how we survive, you understand?”
“Yes, baba.”
Baba shoulders the backpack, and begins walking towards the door, “when we get outside, you stay with me, okay?”
As he goes to open it, the handle moves, and the whole frame shakes. Someone is trying to get in.
“Stay behind me!”
The door slams open, a large man with a gas mask walking in. Farah takes a step back. The man meets her eyes and closes the door, and she stares at his gun.
Baba pleads with the man. He does not listen.
Baba throws his backpack at him, the man shooting a couple of bullets into the floor. They miss Farah’s feet by a few centimeters, and she freezes, breath held in her lungs. Hadir throws himself against the man, but gets shoved back.
The man pulls out a knife, baba manages to take it, stab the man. But it doesn’t change a thing.
It doesn’t save him, when the man pushes him to the floor, and shoots one, two, three, four bullets.
Only then do her feet unstick, and she mutters to herself, “hide!”
She runs back to her and Hadir’s room, crawling under the bed. The man shouts angrily and she hears something break.
Hadir. She needs to help Hadir!
As the man talks to someone on his phone, Farah crawls towards the kitchen, finding a knife. Mama always warned her not to play with them, but if the man catches Hadir…
In her heart, she asks for forgiveness from mama.
When she finds the man, he’s leaning against a wall, his hand clutching his side. Before she can think it over, Farah lowers and slashes at his legs. The man screams in pain, shooting a few bullets at the ground, and turns around to slap her.
It doesn’t hurt, but she drops the knife, so she runs away again.
One of baba’s tools is on the ground, must’ve fallen from his backpack. She grabs it and continues running, the man on her tail now.
The man says mean words to her, in Arabic, but her ears are pounding, her own heavy breaths the only thing she can hear. Her grip on the tool tightens.
“I’m going to kill you!”
Farah watches the man stumble in the hallway, searching.
“You’re going to see father soon, you piece of shit child!”
He trips on the rug. She sneaks closer.
“You’re dead, you hear me?! YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD!”
Farah runs forward, aiming for his other leg, but he turns around and grabs her hand before she can stab him.
“There you are!” he grabs her by the neck, slamming her to the floor, “got you!”
She can feel his hand wrap around her, crushing her windpipe, but it doesn’t hurt. The man grunts, before he freezes.
“You’re- you’re one of them?!”
Hadir jumps on the man’s shoulders, screaming, “get off her!!!”. He uses the knife she dropped to stab him in the neck, “get him, Farah, now!”
Farah grabs the tool, and uses all her strength to stab it into the man’s chest. He screams as flesh gives under the metal.
“It’s working! Again, sister!”
She pulls it out, and repeats.
“Good, Farah!”
And again.
Four times, until the man stops moving and making any sound. Farah takes his mask, the gun too heavy and tool buried in his gut.
Farah and Hadir return to baba. Hadir tries to help him up, but baba stops him.
“I can’t… I can’t go with you.”
Tears well in her eyes. Baba is leaving as well.
Hadir wraps his hands around baba’s, “what do we do?”
“You survive. Whatever it takes.” he turns to look at Farah, “even… even your sacrifice. Never give…up…”
Baba’s head drops. He’s gone.
Hadir stares at him for a moment longer. He gets up, “let’s go.”
They weave through the town, a murky green tinting the air. People are gasping and coughing around them, until a gunshot silences them. Hadir says it’s not fair. Farah knows.
It’s not fair, that they pass by people who get shot, and don’t get back up. It’s not fair, that she has to kill twice more, just for them to get a chance at freedom.
It’s not fair, when a man drags both of them away from it, a cruel smile on his lips as he inspects her.
It’s not fair, that she knows to recognize the malice in his eyes.
The soldiers take them to a prison. They find out she is one of those who sacrificed.
It’s not fair, she tells to the Reaper in her heart, that her sacrifice was not enough to save anyone.
She learns very quickly to hate Barkov. He learns, quicker, that his usual torture methods don’t work on her. He finds her weakness not in her own flesh, but in the flesh of the others. Hadir, in most cases. They keep the men and women separated, only allowing her to see him once every few weeks, and every time she gives them trouble, he takes the punishment. He tries to hide it, but he can’t hide his limp, or his bloodshot eyes, or the scars that keep multiplying upon his skin.
Contrasted with her flawless arms, glistening oddly in the light.
She gets into fights with her Reaper, in the earlier days. Demanding answers, for the simple question of “why?”.
Why her? Why this power, that only protects her? Why taunt her, tell her she’s under the Reaper of Might, yet show her every day how weak she is?
There are whispers among the guards, of a person by the name of “Karim”. A Commander, aiding the prisoners, attempting to contact foreign forces by transmitting messages from the inside. Barkov spends hours torturing her and the others, trying to find them. After a while, Farah notices a glint of playfulness in the wretched man’s eyes.
He knows who Karim is. He just wants to break them, annihilate the sense of fragile hope Karim gives the prisoners.
Barkov wants their spirit broken. Farah knows he will fail, because as long as any of them stand, they will not give up. For those who can't fight any longer, for those who are still with them in this hell, for Urzikstan.
They think one can uproot it from them. What they don’t know, will never understand, is that you can’t kill an idea. You can’t torture the memory of freedom out of them.
The soldiers seem on edge, mumbling in Russian about rumors of enemy forces invading Urzikstan. One of them slaps the back of her head when she stares too long.
The cycle continues - Barkov interrogates her, always keeping another prisoner in the room to torture in her place. Today it is Azadeh, younger than her by two years. Azadeh doesn’t flinch at the glint of a knife, but she screams as Barkov buries it in her thigh.
Farah’s guts burn at her wailing, at Barkov’s cocksure grin, his hand easily yanking the knife out of spasming muscles.
She breaks. Tells him she is Karim. It feels like an end.
Barkov freezes, before he pounces. Knocking her out of the chair, he covers her mouth, pinches her nose, deprives her of air.
Not many things can hurt her, but Farah still needs oxygen to live. Her wrists twitch roughly against the bindings tying her to the chair, Azadeh calls for her. Barkov snarls.
“I will not let terrorists like you ruin my country.”
My country… My country?
Urzikstan will never kneel to the likes of you.
As the edges of her vision darken, a soldier bursts into the room, his movements rushed as he informs Barkov the prison is under attack.
Barkov, always needing to have the last laugh, tells her she hasn’t saved anyone, that Karim’s role was only to doom her people, and orders his soldiers to the warehouse, to kill everyone.
Air fills her lungs as she inhales for the first time in over a minute. Barkov tells the man to take Azadeh to the warehouse, and her to solitary confinement. She gives Azadeh an encouraging nod, before they’re separated.
Karim hasn’t failed yet. As long as they’re still alive, she hasn’t failed.
Solitary is part of the older section of the building. Farah has been here enough times to know the rebar in the far corner of the cell is loose, and she herself have made sure, should the need arise, it will be easy to extract from the cracked concrete floor.
The moment the soldiers leave, she gets to work, pulling the metal with a grunt. With a few well-placed hits, Farah breaks the lock, and opens the door.
It is silent outside, in the way a graveyard is. Something sick spreads on her tongue, as she sneaks out of solitary. A few soldiers are making their way to the main cell block, to take the remaining prisoners to the warehouse, Farah assumes. The rebar feels lighter in her hands.
The first soldier she hits over the head screams as he goes down. The rest instinctively start shooting her. It doesn’t do much to stop her from caving their skulls in, besides ripping a few new holes into her clothes.
Searching the bodies yields her a key and an extra mag for one of the rifles. All of them were either empty or jammed, the frantic soldiers not recognizing her.
For them, all Urzik are the same.
Her sisters are relieved to see her approach. The gunshots scared them, fearing it was anyone but her. She opens the cell, freeing them. She uses the key to open a gun locker, and orders them to take up arms. No hesitation is visible on their faces. They all know this is an end.
Of the soldiers or theirs, it is yet to be seen.
“Our brothers have been taken to the warehouse to be executed. We are not going to let that happen.” Farah snarls, fingers aching as she grips the rifle, “are we?”
“No, Commander!” her sisters yell in unison.
Farah feels pride bubble up within her. They haven’t broken their spirit.
A series of far away explosions makes their little group flinch. Ayah asks, “who is attacking us, Commander? Are they on our side?”
“I don’t know. And as long as they distract Barkov and his dogs, it doesn’t matter. We need to move before it’s too late.”
They slam open the doors, Russian soldiers already ready at the other side. Her sisters’ aim is wobbly, the recoil more than they’ve experienced, but they have one thing the Russians don’t.
They don’t fear death anymore.
Nadia was injured in the firefight against a sniper. Ghalia has been limping since an explosion knocked her down. Darine and Azadeh are tired, they’ve been in solitary for days with little to no food or water.
They manage to hole up in the warehouse, but there’s no one there. Farah shouts for Hadir, her echo the only answer.
“Commander!” Azadeh calls, “there’s a way through here, this is must be where they are!”
Farah kicks the door open, turning right to clear the hallway, when a body slams into her from the left. She falls to the ground heavily, teeth bared as a barrel lines with her forehead. The other two soldiers aim at her sisters, Azadeh screaming in horror, “please don’t shoot!”
For a moment, Farah loses hope. Her mind supplies her with Barkov’s words.
“You haven’t saved anyone.”
In the next, the skylights shatter. Precise bullets take out the three soldiers, not a single wasted shot. Ropes are thrown through the broken windows, and men wearing gas masks repel down. One of them looks at her, “Whose Commander Karim?”
Farah huffs as she pushes a dead body off of her, “I’m Karim.”
The soldier swings his weapon to the side, “we got your message” he lifts the mask up, revealing a pale face, “Lieutenant John Price. Where are the others?”
The Lieutenant offers her a hand, and Farah grunts as he lifts her, “in there. Straight ahead.”
Price looks at the dark hallway, before turning back and lowering his mask, “stay close!”
Azadeh’s expression is uncertain when Farah stops her from following them. Wordlessly, she nods and returns to her wounded sisters’ side. They both know the path ahead is meant only for trained soldiers.
Trained soldiers, and those who cannot die to a bullet.
Farah keeps her rifle up as the soldiers and her scan the hall. Tanks with warning signs plastered on their exterior line the narrow passage way, and she doesn’t need to know Russian to know what’s inside.
“Got two!” Price warns, and takes out one of the guards. The other doesn’t waste time watching his partner go down, and before one of Price’s soldiers puts a bullet in his head, he aims and shoots Farah.
Straight shot to her heart. These guards are more skilled than the ones she fought through to get here.
Two hands clamp onto her shoulders, and Price’s wide eyes stare at her through the gas mask, “you’re not wearing armor- Karim, sit the fuck down, I saw the bullet hit you-!”
Farah frowns, following his line of sight to the hole in her shirt.
“Lieutenant-”
He holds her as if she’s about to collapse, muttering, “why are you not bleeding…”
Farah grabs his hands, and the Lieutenant’s brows shoot up.
“You’re a revenant.” his hands loosen, and drop to his side.
Farah nods, “no bullet or blade can hurt me.”
Something odd passes by Price’s eyes, but he doesn’t say anything to indicate what.
“Lieutenant, the prisoners are here! We need the breacher for the door!”
They run towards the back, and Farah slides to a stop at the scene.
In a room with large bullet-proof windows, where fire wars with the Russian’s sickly green gas, her brothers pound on the glass, their screams muffled.
They were going to watch them suffocate and burn.
She shakes out of her stupor when she notices Hadir. Slumped in the corner by a door, unmoving.
“You haven’t saved anyone.”
Farah runs to the other side of the door, where Price and his men are attempting to pry open it. They don’t have time for this.
“Stand back!” she grunts, and Price barely pulls the other soldier away before she shoots 4 bullets into the lock.
She barely manages to catch Hadir when the door slams open, her brothers running out towards fresh air. She should feel happiness, that they were fast enough to save them.
But in her arms is the still body of her brother, the one who has been through this hell with her from the beginning. The one with their mama’s eyes, and their baba’s kindness. Farah feels tears run down her face as she presses two fingers to his pulse. Nothing.
There are voices around her, speaking to her. She doesn’t hear a thing. No sound is worth hearing when her brother’s heart does not beat.
Price crouches in front of her, his mask off despite the gas filtering in from the room. His voice is gentle when he speaks, “Karim… we need to move.”
She shakes her head. It reminds her of how Hadir didn’t want to leave their house, when baba knew they had no choice. She has no choice but to leave him.
Oh, how could she leave him like this?
As the Lieutenant urges her again, as her brothers and sisters start to realize what happened, as Farah’s fingers stay on a paling wrist, she feels it.
A heartbeat.
Hadir gasps, his hands shoot up to claw at his neck frantically, and he jumps away from Farah. Everyone is watching him carefully as he catches his breath, silent and knowing.
Farah clenches her fists, failing to quell the shaking, “...why…?”
Why did you choose this over seeing mama and baba again?
Hadir turns to face her, but his eyes don’t meet hers. They’re not the blue-gray they were before, she notices. Green, like the gas that killed him.
“You survive, whatever it takes. Never give up.” Hadir repeats their baba’s last words. “Not even death will come between us, sister. Not anymore.”
“May your soul find rest.” she says, and her brothers and sisters murmur it with her. Hadir then lifts his gaze, and he gives her a sad smile.
Price and his soldiers stand back, looking properly shaken by seeing a dead man return. For them it is an anomaly.
In Urzikstan, they all know what a sacrifice looks like.
Farah gives herself a moment more to mourn Hadir, mourn the peace he refused to receive in death.
She gets up, grips her rifle, and orders her people, “collect survivors and supplies. We’re leaving.”
“Sister.”
She stops cleaning her knife for a moment, acknowledging Hadir’s presence with a nod, before continuing, “any sign of Barkov?”
Hadir drags a chair to sit in front of her, “no, we’re secure here. The Lieutenant cleared the area well.” he watches her hands work on the sharpening metal, “I… I wanted to tell you about my powers.”
Her hand freezes. “Immunity to the gas. I know.”
“No.”
Farah opens her mouth to question him, but when she looks up at Hadir…
Mist flows from his eyes and nose, pouring down his features. Green, toxic, smells of chemicals and death.
When he speaks, more gas flows from his mouth, “I’m not only immune, sister. I can create it.” fear paints his words.
“Enough.” she orders, though to her ears it sounds more like begging. Hadir stops using his power all the same, and it is with shame that he looks at the thin level of gas coating the floor of the run-down room.
Farah puts the knife and whetstone away, and hugs Hadir. He presses closer, and she feels his body tremble with silent sobs.
“You will not use this power. We do not need weapons of the enemy to win this war.” Her brother may be doomed, cursed forever to bear the gas within him, but it does not mean he needs to continue Barkov’s legacy.
Hadir doesn’t respond for a while, but when he pulls back, he nods. “Yes, Commander Karim.” he says, pride in the title. “What are your orders to our brothers and sisters?”
Farah sheaths the knife, her voice strong and clear, “Barkov must’ve had more prisons. It’s time we find more hands to help our cause.”
Alex Keller is… odd.
He had a surface level knowledge of the situation in Urzikstan when he arrived. Not from a tactical standpoint - CIA doesn’t let details like those escape them, of course. But from a human’s, and perhaps a revenant’s, it was clear Alex was not used to seeing such disgusting levels of violence unhidden for all to see. Barkov doesn’t need to hide it. America already knows.
The world already knows.
Keller’s abilities as a revenant proved advantageous from the very first mission they had. Infiltrating has never been easier, with a man able to become invisible to the naked eye. Later on he has told her of his weaknesses, that his form is still corporal even when see-through, and that electronic optics are able to catch traces of him. His honesty doesn’t go unnoticed, and Farah appreciates the trust he puts in her.
Hadir didn’t trust him at first. Despite his relation to Captain Price, he was wary of the American. It didn’t matter much to Farah, as long as they were amicable enough to work together, but seeing Hadir slowly let his guard down over the weeks was a moment of happiness in her days.
It helps most in days when Hadir seems distant, when a fog she can only call a thirst for revenge clouds his eyes. It feels like the times she has to fight against his violent suggestions double every new mission.
Something is brewing in his mind, she can tell. Hadir doesn’t want to share it with her.
At least Alex doesn’t push back against her orders with no good reason…
They’re on ground now, Alex using Hadir’s Sniper to scope the Highway of Death, and Farah spotting for him. They’re waiting for forces of Al-Mudahiyn, The Sacrificers, to pass through.
Al-Mudahiyn and the ULF used to be one and the same, until they weren’t. They share the goal of liberation, but where the ULF chooses to prioritize the safety of the people of Urzikstan, The Sacrificers choose the retribution on the Russians to be theirs.
Liberation will not be achieved peacefully, Farah knows that. But revenge won’t bring it either, and as much as she would hate it if it were to happen, if she had the choice to free her country but let her oppressors walk away unharmed, she would. She is sick of seeing her brothers and sisters die, and sacrifice, and bow their heads to men who see them as lesser.
In that, Al-Mudahiyn and her disagree. The militia focuses its powers on creating chaos among the Russian’s ranks, within Russia itself, and anywhere where its sympathizers live. And while they both deal in violence, Farah cannot agree to it being the objective.
It is a tool. One she will wield only as long as her enemy does.
The SAS and CIA have begun to retaliate against Al-Mudahiyn, as has Barkov, their actions too flashy to ignore. Stealing several containers of Russian experimental gas was the last nail in the coffin.
The ULF along with Captain Price’s team decided to work together to stop them.
“One vehicle approaching from the east!”
On her mark, Alex takes down the two snipers that attempted to set up on the roof. Killing them is a calculated risk; it could alert their target and cause them to change course, but leaving them alive could’ve risked Hadir and his team, who are nearer to the road.
Two fighters from Hadir’s team take the truck and park it in the middle of the highway as a makeshift blockade. She watches as they rig it up with explosives, and orders them to wait for her signal.
Their target, as do many in The Sacrificers’ ranks, is a revenant. According to Alex’s sources in the CIA, they’re just a Revenant of Flesh. Their healing powers could save them from some injuries, but an explosion should kill them.
And if the explosion doesn’t do them in, bullets will.
They were ready for an ambush. Armored trucks, snipers, mortar teams.
“We need help! Where is Captain Price?!” Farah shouts as she fires on a few fighters making their way through the ruined house they’ve taken cover in. Alex pops up to shoot as well, but she pushes him behind her when a few bullets hit too close for comfort.
Her clothes are riddled with holes.
Hadir shouts from the rooftop beside theirs, “we cannot wait! I’ve got more firepower in the truck!” an explosion shakes the foundations of the house, “Alex! Follow me!”
Alex looks back at her, and she nods. Hadir’s intuition never failed them, his habit of preparing for the worst saved operations more than once. He’s not her second-in-command just because of their blood relation, she trusts him more than anyone else.
That is why, when green, toxic gas started covering the abandoned village rapidly, Farah didn’t dare think it was him. Hadir wouldn’t do that, he promised her.
She hears him shout to Alex that there are gas masks in the bunker. It should’ve tipped her off. It didn’t.
Coughing horribly, she ran towards the bunker, her steps unsteady as the gas coats her lungs. She has never forgotten the way it claws down her throat, burning, seizing her muscles.
Alex comes into view just as Farah’s vision begins to fade, and the last words she hears singe worse than any chemical could.
“H-Hadir… You’re… a revenant?”
When she comes to, it’s to the smell of dust. Her throat still burns, but as she coughs, she feels clean air filter through her nose. Farah blinks her eyes open, to see Hadir equip a gas mask on Alex’s face. He notices her eyes following his movements.
“Sister…” Hadir leaves Alex to approach her, his arms open. Before, she would’ve taken comfort to see he is not injured.
Now, all she sees is anger. Green, sickly, violent anger.
Farah pushes him away, but she is weakened, so his arms don’t leave hers, “how could you do this?!”
He tries to placate her. It makes her shake with exertion to get away. “I had no choice, Farah! I-”
“No. Not like this.” her eyes roll back, and before she loses consciousness again, she mumbles, “you promised…”
“-Farah!… Alex!”
She grunts. Her arms feel weighted when she pushes the dusty gas mask up and off her face. Alex does the same, trying to get up on his feet and failing.
Price’s voice invades her mind, and she winces. It is an unfamiliar feeling, still. “You’re alright, Farah. You’re alright.”
Still unused to the powers, she chooses to speak, “where is he…? Where is he?!”
Price finally reaches them, helping Farah get up, only for her to push off to rush out the crooked door, “he’s gone, Farah…”
She snarls. How dare he run, how could he leave- “no… Hadir… HADIR!!!”
“Farah!” Price follows her, catching her when she stumbles on the steps outdoors, “Farah, stop! Stop, he’s gone!”
Her fists clench on dry earth and she screams. Coward, liar, monster. No curse is bad enough to describe that fucking dog.
She feels Price wrap an arm around her, not to support, but to comfort. It reminds her why they’re here in the first place.
“There is no thief.” she tilts her head up, staring at Price’s blue-gray eyes. His brows knit in confusion, and she continues, “he created the gas. I’m sorry, Captain, I didn’t know, I didn’t know…”
She feels Price pull images from her memories. She lets him.
The Captain looks through her interactions with Hadir for the past few weeks. At first, Farah thinks he doesn’t believe her word, but Price relays to her that he’s not doing it for himself.
He’s proving her she’s not at fault.
“There’s no way you could’ve known, Farah.” he says out loud.
Alex joins him behind them, leaning on another soldier, “it’s okay, Farah. We’ll get him.”
She wants to bristle at those almost meaningless comforting gestures, but the look in Alex’s eyes is pleading her to let it go, for now.
Price helps her up again, shouting to Alex, “we need to un-ass this target- NOW!”
As they board the helicopter, Farah looks down.
Corpses line the desolate streets, no bird dares to sing at the sight. Both Al-Mudahiyn and ULF fighters lay still, eyes bulging and throat scratched raw. She grits her teeth, but her eyes don’t stray from the sight, even as the aircraft rises to the air.
Alex places a hand on her shoulder after a while, a questioning hum following.
She shakes her head, and with it his hand.
A voice that has haunted her for the last two decades drifts closer to her, whispering into her ears a sentence she hates to acknowledge has never been wrong.
“You haven’t saved anyone.”
At twenty-seven, Farah Ahmed Karim has lost the last remaining blood relative she had. There was no one left to mourn, except her.
In a dusty helicopter, with the smell of noxious gas still in her every breath, Farah promised to find him, the walking corpse of her brother, and stop him before he drags more of them down.
And unlike the man who once was her brother, Farah keeps her promises.
#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod mw2#cod farah#cod alex#cod price#farah karim#hadir karim#alex keller#john price#revenant au#call of duty fic#call of duty fanfic#call of duty modern warfare#cod fic#cod fanfic#farah.... <3333#her story makes me so fucking sad every time#i cant see the cutscenes from mw2019 without tearing up#shes my fave character from base game bc shes just so complex#doomed to be in an american military propaganda game...#i decided to change AQ since they havent been mentioned in part 1#and i dont really like how theyre handled in canon#like... russia is the one occupying urzikstan but AQ operates in europe and decided to do what they did in piccadilly circus#but the brits supposedly arent aiding barkov/makarov and are actually against them??#but they cant show americans/brits conquering and violently occupying countries bc cmon guys america doesnt do that its only russia \s#also AQ literally translates to 'the killers' and im sorry but thats... not it#you cant really have nuance with a group called 'the killers'#sorry i just hate when the american military propaganda game propagandas#i hope i managed to make Al-Mudahiyn more... sypmathetic? maybe?#like you could understand more why ppl from the ULF would choose to be part of Al-Mudahiyn... rather than fuckin AQ
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
I swear to god what world of parenting did his Dad think 'woah my son is puking. Lets take him to a parade😀' like what was going on on his head i bet his mother was not there
#either that or his mother was there and i just think its weird bc im jndian and my parents will instead magically remove the sickness as#Soon as they check#Maybe its an american thing#Which I'm to non american to understand#mcr#mcr tumblr#mcr memes#my chemical romance#my chemical fucking romance#gerard way#my chemical frank#my chemical romance frank#frank ireo#frankie#frank iero#mcr frank#frank#my chem romance#the black parade#black parade#welcome to the black parade
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
everyday europeans find new ways to piss me off
#🍯 talks#like how are u gonna constantly call americans stupid and act like ur better#and then when an american brings up the number of top unis in the usa vs europe#all of the sudden ur yapping abt 'why do americans wanna make everything a competiton'#like its fine for u to act like were inherently dumber than u bc were american but its an issue if we defend ourselves#jesus fucking christ#and ofc its not all europeans blah blah blah#and ik its gotta be like an annoying loud minority that feel emboldened by being online#still doesnt mean it wont annoy me when hundreds of them all congregate in the comments of one americans videos#and the whole 'americans think europe is a country' bc americans refer to it as a whole as europe#like.... im not gonna individually list out all 44-50 countries when i can just say euopre#'euro summer' and they get sooooo pissed#'americans are so stupid they dont even know that europe is a continent and not a country'#now if we use our brains and some common sense maybe we could figure out why someone might refer to a trip where theyre visiting multiple#european countries as 'euro summer'#i do that in the us too#when i visited a bunch of states in the north east i said i went to the northeast#also in america 'im visiting europe' is an invitation to ask which countries in specific and continue the conversation#and when they act like they know more than americans abt america#just bc they watched disney channel and friends
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Its so crazy when you play a game in dub(or watch smth ig) and you listen to the other ones(in this case, the intended language) and its like HUHHHH!?!?! My boy does NOT sound like that !!!
#fuck me tho bcs in my attempts to find a clip of him speaking in eng#i looked clips up on yt instead of changing my settings cause duh#and just fucking spoiled myself for a thousand things in the process 😭😭😭😭#me at me: forget forget forget forget FORGET FORGET#anyways i do not understand his eng voice it sounds nothing like how i perceive him like ?????????#french dub ON top#im like gaaahhhh ong hes so hot bark bark. oh wait i wonder how he was actually intended to sound#cause honestly his voice is a big part of his attractiveness to me#but his eng voice is SOOOO bleh to me. but id need to hear more and im not willing to spoil myself#but god. tho kinda ironic cause i think his model and voice are the same dude. sry sir but im not a fan LOL#*btw i mean arno why am i always so vague 😭#the vibe is sooooo different its actually insane to me#i was like im sure his eng voice is great! nah. tho maybe its cause hes stuck in my brain as the french voice#also may i say one of my biggest pet peeves? its fine or whatever to have smth take place in a country with a foreign language but-#-still have the language be english. that's just a realistic expectation for anglo made projects yknow#BUT GOD. WHEN THEY DONT EVEN FUCKING AT LEAST TRY TO HAVE AN ACCENT MIRRORING WHERE THEY ARE#WHY ARE YOU A FRENCHMAN IN FRANCE SPEAKING ENG WITH A TOTALLY BRITISH ENG#WHY ARE YOU AN AUSTRIA IN AUSTRIA SPEAKING ENG WITH A BLATANT AMERICAN ACCENT#etc etc. theres sometimes where i dont absolutely hate it. but it bugs the shit out of me#especially bcs id rather watch smth in the language where it takes place bcs its more immersive. so like. at least try w the accent#catie.rambling.txt
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyway. interesting stuff: me n my friend had a convo bout films & we both noticed that it feels like recent american movies became like.. plastic, synthetic
#based on: love lies bleeding -> maxine xxx (i dont remember exactly) -> substance#I haven't watch the last one my friends just did & they told & showed me the ending and idk idk#atp im ignoring half of the recent films bc it looks plastic to me. But ofc it's a question of taste#Also from judging on what ive just heard substance have a bit of neon demon vibe#In my grandma era sorry. I dont say these films r bad tho#Maybe its just my beef w american films in general. i think many of them r overrated but#i like boring ass films so i don't have any right to say anything#Also u can clearly say challengers is an american film and the dreamers is european#<- just a funny thing
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
You out here hookin for cheeseburgers again Randy?
mans gotta eat.
You know how Ricky love weed so much ? That's me with food ( and weed )
I'd say I'm more like that with food than randy. While I respect Randy's love for fast food, I am more of an entrepreneur of sorts with it. ( For lack of a better word. ) It is an art craft for me as well as a general source of enjoyment and relaxation. I love breaking down the flavors and taking a moment to appreciate and acknowledge them before moving on with the experience. ( Especially if the chef is present ! )
Which is how I feel Ricky is with weed given he is a plug and a grower. Because I'm not just a feedee, I'm a cook as well 👨🍳 .
#MY FIRST TRAILER PARK BOYS REFERENCE IN MY ASK BOX I MUST CELEBRATE#my non tpb watching followers are likely confused yet intrigued by my choice of TPB gif#if you are transmasc this show is for you BTW especially if you come from the lower class#u don't even have to be grom a trailer park to understand it bc im not from one and I understand them and their ways but im Floridian so#maybe it cancles out that im not from a trailer park specifically because I feel like all of Florida is just one big trailer park maybe#that's why I love the show so much#also every trans man ever is either Ricky bubbles or Julian i dont make the rules#maybe randy#my old roomate is a transman and he acts very silumar to julian#it's great because I act like Ricky in terms of personality so we have a pretty good dynamic#I don't often make shows about personalities but you can't deny that there's a bleed over from TPB and lower class queer culture#you cannot tell me that lower class American queers especially from the South and Midwest don't relate to that show#its ok if you don't but i feel this show is massively slept on by the queer community#TEHRES A TRANS WOMAN IN THE SHOW TO#and from what i remember they dont misgender her?#remember this is a Canadian show not an American one.#I noticed most of the shows that I have to worry about bigotry popping up and giving me whiplash are American baised#ALSO U SHOULD DM ME ABT TPB I LOVE THAT SHOW !!!!!!!#also sorry for the yapping i just havent seen TPB in so long bc it's not on hulu ):#sad face
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ok i will make one more boyfriend post. A lil while ago we went to a lil cove to do some snorkelling, and i was looking under one of the big rocks to look at some crabs but they keep hiding. And at one point i hear him go "Hey alex look" so I turn around thinking he's going to point out another creature to me like we've been doing for the whole day and as soon as he sees im looking he just squats down. And deadlifts. The entire rock. Completely overturns it and makes the crabs under it scatter. A stray sea urchin is now racing back to the shady part after being exposed to the sun like bro wtf you moved my house. This man came here and altered the ocean floor topography that had probably been unmoved for dozens if not hundreds of years just for Crab
#thunderclap#im he really just Does Shit just bc he can its insane#the rock itself was like. maybe under a meter across. thats under three feet across for yall americans#preddy big#this happened half underwater as well which i think helps ever so slightly but still insane to witness#this is not hornyposting btw this is 'how the fuck can he do that' posting#ive made these jokes in art before bc i think theyre funny and now Some Guy (affectionate) is able to replicate them completely unprompted
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Asking because i stream rarely and whenever i do its on picarto and not a lot of ppl talk in chat. Im assuming its bc u need an account; and not enough ppl stream on picarto to warrant ppl to make an account just to talk in one persons chat...? Well this is what the poll is about, wanna find out if what i assume is correct.
#Then again evan streams on picarto too and she has ppl talking#Maybe its just bc shes celebrity and im just some guy#Or the time of day. Americans suffer for my streams#But i refuse to wait until 11pm to start streaming until 5am just bc its comfy for ussies#Im dome bending my neck for the usa#I asked this in my discord w overwhelming vote for yt
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
started watching the 80s astroboy anime and i need tenma to explode
#actually crazy how quickly they do his origin he was in the circus for like a week tops#i love the art tho its so beautiful#the animation is kinda typical 80s stuff its not too impressive but i appreciate the level of detail#esp in the backgrounds and textures and character expressions#its so cute and cartoony but distinctly 80s anime i love it#i would say its similar quality to the first seasons of pokemon#also tenma isnt like evil in this one as far as i knoe but hes just an asshole#like his son was only reborn like a month ago and he already decides he doesnt want him just bc he makes mistakes#damn bro maybe its bc hes 1 month old ToT#i need them to throw tenma in a pit and also let astro live a normal life bc hes getting almost blown up every episode#im glad he gets to go to school its very sweet#omg also#the way that the robot discrimination is shown in this show and in the manga is so dofferent from the 2009 movie its kinda crazy#in the movie youre supposed to laugh at the robot activists bc theyre incompetent and theyre extremists and also commies for some reason#but in the manga and anime its like a main belief all of the main characters hold. the topic of whether robots should have human rights-#-is only smth fought against by the bad guys#hmmm........ its smacks of american
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
rant <3
#so i told my friend im thinking abt engaging more in my christian community again starting w going to church more and visiti g exchanges etc#she kniws abt basically all my other friends being more than less religious and active in their respective communities#+ my family being religious even during soviet times and she even kniws abt the orthodox side of my family#so this shouldnt surprise her this much#why is she trying to talk me out of it saying christianity is evil and she cant agree to creationism like ok bitch me too#she acting as if im gonna become some republican american blonde woman or an primitive medieval peasant wthhh#and like i get it she and her family have always been agnostic and she doesnt have any personal experience with believe and faith#but that is even more reason to shut the hell up?? especially bc i just told her as like a life update i didnt want to start a discussion#w an agnostic no less#ppl like that make me so uncomfortable and then she kept saying things like this person is godless as a joke like stfu???#and kept bringing up she csnt believe in god at random times it made me so umcomfortable#especially bc now i feel hesitant to invite her to hangouts w my more 'strict' friends like idk what she thinks abt them and i dont want to#expose my friends who have to listen to enough shit to someone like that like i want my home to be a safe space for my friends#anyways thats the same girl who keeps telling me she doesnt think im white and when i tell her her saying this makes me uncomfortable#shes argues its ok bc she is not white herself ok wth im literally german/slavic how is that not white im crying#cant really articulate what exactly makes me uncomfy abt this but feels like she wants to enable me its really weird#also with tge christian stuff like ive always been religious she kniws abt me reading religious texts its so weird to me#why are you my friend if you disagree with a foundamental part of my life#maybe she thoight i was an ok one bc me and my familys approach to believe and faith is very relaxed but wth man
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
there's this one photo I've seen floating around a few times with the words "I wish we could've met as kids, you would've loved the softer me" and I think about it every now and then
so ... art ʅ(๑ ᷄ω ᷅ )ʃ
#''what if they met as kids'' AU basically djdkskl#also i discovered this rly fun music album and was listening to it while working on this fjdksl its called Portrait by The 5th Element !!#theres this one rly weird song on it fjdkdl I assume theyre american bc its like uhh. that one american thing. declaration of independence?#idk fjfkdl i think thats what that is. no idea though im not american SHSJSKL#ANYWAYS GOOD ALBUM besides that one part of the medley song but even that is kind of a fun melody to it#BUT YEAH. meeting as kids. i want to explore the concept a little more fhfkdl#i think it'd be sweet to explore them being friends and going on adventures and OH GOD im just turning Guz into an OC now arent i... OOPS#OH WELL. INTO THE REALM OF OOC WE GOOOOO BRAVELY MARCHING INTO THE FOG DJDKDL#HE'S NOT AN OC HE'S STILL THE SAME CHARACTERRR IM JUST SQUISHING HIM AROUND LIKE SILLY PUTTY AND SEEING WHAT HAPPENS#THE ONLY ISSUE WITH THIS. is that i would need to remember what i was like as a kid. but i do not hold those memories fjfkdl#those are held by another part of the brain. ACK!! good thing i have imagination and can make shit up based on childhood report cards LMAO#dandyshucks#junebug 🪲#dandy doodlebugs#💜so good at being in trouble#MAYBE KIND OF A WEIRD POST FOR A SELFSHIP BLOG. idk if anyone else has done this. BUT ITS MY BLOG I GUESS#boldly going into the unknown... excelsior!!! onwards and upwards!! new AUs and ideas to explore!! lots of fun to be had!!#💜a boy and his bug🪲
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think i gotta pl;ay fallout 4 ..
#YAPPING this morninh#i tried watching the show i DIDNT LIKE IT. i would rather play the games#in middle school i tried fallout3 but i never felt incentivized to explore the world after getting out of the vault .#i think beth esda games are just like that though idk. ive been playing wolfing stein 2 (2017) and it feels like. beth esda uncharted#i think its just bc its an action adventure and you have like a little team and so far it hasnt been open world the way it was advertised#but ive been getting into the lore of the world in falloiut and im really enjoying it so maybe my game tastes have changed idk its worth a#shot :D i watched this video abt ghoul being an embodiment of the mythologized wild west genre in american pop culture history and how#pervasive a fantasy like that is. the continuation of manifest destiny and rooted in white supremacy yk. but also through the fallout lens#of 'Look at this idealized nuclear family/ american dream and look who it excludes look how it fails' and its really making me wanna try#playing again. i think one of my biggest flaws that i hate is that i cannot tolerate playing old games that are ugly in retrospect .... i#just cant.... i cant play the first red dead its too ugly im sorry... but i WILL research the lore and stuff#anyway thats why i think ill try 4. im just worried i wont like it bc you know.. i like platform action adventures.. not corny shit like#uncharted but idk maybe its an antiquated way of designing games but i like levels i like being given a campaign. i think my favorite way a#game works is like the way red dead does it. the story progresses but you can also explore on your own time. and the world changes as the#story progresses. idk i think i just maybe am not the target audience for any bethesda game LMFAO. anyway if anyone wants to give some#wise words regarding this Advice opinions etc feel free to send asks leave replies dm me :D
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
anna or lily going into a convent (and being in america) and carlo can use that as a reputation boost hhhhhhhh
#im sooooo rewriting carlo & his family. bc the existing ver irritates me endlessly u can't even imagine like my teeth r literally gritting#like im literally the n1 hater of the thing i wrote myself like genuinely#“my heart's in the highlands” scene from la grande bellezza (this film & religious topic in it in general) haunts me#genuinely i dont want anna to go into a convent. girl youre so young dont do this. turning to God closer to old age is more common#*but it's so fitting for anna's character i have in my head hhhhhh#but they all are socialists (except for carlo ofc). so there's probably a complicated relationship with god#me when i cant help but make things even more complicated bc my brain works like a cancer#everyone go & listen my hearts in the highlands by arvo part right nowww#m2#i was thinking about the convent for months. just if ure interested#upd. “are you really the strongest exorcist in all of europe?”* hhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#+ for lily. when a saint is asked to talk about her life and she answers: “you can't talk about poverty” hhhhhhhhhh#*looked at la grande belleza's script. exact quote:#i apologize for earlier. there's one question i really want to ask you. are the rumors about you true?#that you were a truly great.. exorcist? // and then the cardinal says some kind of spell & closes the car window#hhhhhhhhhh. another scene that fucking haunts me#upd2. thought bout verro's bust that was destroyed 2 times by the mafia. thought bout anna. i can see her as a sculptor#she has very strong hands. its a pity that if shes in the usa bc have no idea bout american art schools. im more educated bout european art#and also idfk. maybe i do need to see her as a (fierce? but shes in the usa) socialist. you dont get it i need it
2 notes
·
View notes