#maybe it’s just a bad pen but I love it

[hwaightme]

In your eyes

THIS IS 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI FOR CAPTAIN’S SAKE (nsfw tags under the cut)

(masterlist)

📚 pairing: postgrad!bf!hongjoong x afab!gn!reader 📚 genre: smut, established relationship, so much fluff 📚 summary: time is nobody's friend, and hongjoong often finds himself wondering how much he has lost. thankfully, you always remind him of how beautiful the present and future can be, how full of love, how intimate, how true. 📚 wordcount: 4.0k 📚 warnings/tags: MINORS DNI, semi-edited (do let me know if i missed something), they are so in love, teaching assistant joong, so many pet names (love, darling, etc), he is down bad, mention of time anxiety, mild relationship worries, mention of winter holiday season, y/n is an office worker (nothing specific), mention of exams (joong grading), sort of from joong's perspective 📚 taglist: below 📚 a/n: something about academic joong makes me feel many types of ways... anyhow- hope this is enjoyable and gives warm feels <33; live laugh love joong; any notes, reblogs, comments are highly appreciated! thank you

📚nsfw tags: sub-leaning switch joong, service top energy joong, lovemaking, handjob, fingering, dry humping, praise, begging, piv w condom, missionary, mating press, overstimulation, light cuddling, implied aftercare but not described

Tired eyes. Paper after paper decorated with green ink, subsequently joining the pile that was starting to take over the dining table. The persistent glow of the laptop screen, reflected in a pair of tortoiseshell-frame glasses that kept threatening to slide down an elegant nose. While grading papers was not exactly something that Hongjoong would dream of doing during the winter holidays, it came with his job, and so was not entirely abysmal. Perhaps the only issue was that he had grossly underestimated how much time and focus this task would take. Morning rapidly turned into day, and day equally as quickly trickled into evening, leaving him without as much as a moment to spare for the things people usually occupied themselves with at this time of year. Though, perhaps it was important to note that it was not the actual festivities that he longed for and felt apologetic that he could not partake in thanks to his own decisions, but rather a certain someone.

After finishing grading yet another paper, Hongjoong set his pen aside and roughly rubbed his eyes, careful to not send his glasses flying. Only now did he notice just how dark the room had gotten, barely a sliver of light crawling in through the windows, with no thanks to the gloomy weather outside. He rose from his chair, rolling his shoulders from having been in the same position for an uncomfortable number of hours, and ambled to one of the many floor lamps that were neatly stationed around the living room, each with its own story. He picked a particularly whimsical one right in the corner, squinting when it burst to life, revealing its curious design of frosted flowers, branches, and songbirds. Reluctant feet carried him back to the chair, now turned into an instrument for torturous isolation.

“Enough, you know what, enough…” Hongjoong’s whisper cut through the eerie silence of the apartment. Pushing the rest of the papers away, he leaned back with a huff and slid his phone out of the back pocket of his trousers.

The journey to his home screen was swift, only to end in a deliberate pause as he studied it with a sorrowful smile. He was unsure as to why a pang of melancholy had taken a sudden hold on him, but seeing your happy face as you were looking at a bungeoppang neatly tucked into a tiny white bag - a precious moment from a casual date you had gone on - had him irrationally spiraling. You lived together, and yet, he missed you. He longed to hold you in his arms for longer than a few seconds before pulling away. He dreamed of staying in the same room for what could be ages, sharing the quiet atmosphere, or maybe listening to your favorite songs together. The dark winter nights were taking a toll on him, and in utter solitude, the natural tendency to ruminate reigned supreme and let his worries wander freely from his mind and straight to his fragile heart.

When Hongjoong and yourself had discussed winter vacation, the conclusion was reached without much back and forth. You were not taking any days off, and Hongjoong made the most of his time off, well, doing more work. In retrospect, it might have been a silly idea on his part, but much like how you had explained it back to him, if it meant solidifying his position by being on the good side of his supervisor and being responsible for more things as a teaching assistant, it was worth it. But now, seeing couples roaming the streets around the city whenever he commuted into university, and generally the mere notion of having only the evenings and odd parts of the weekend to spend with you started to make him sick to the stomach. Without realizing it, he had driven himself into a corner, and he wanted out.

Before he could get any further than the usual perusal of social media, he heard the muted rattling of keys, and in a matter of seconds, the front door opened, revealing a familiar form. His eyes immediately settled on you, noting how you shrugged off your messenger bag and coat, leaving them on the ottoman in the corridor rather than hanging them up—clearly, he was not the only one tired. Nonetheless, when you raised your head after having freed yourself from the confines of your dress shoes, a smile spread across your face.

“Hi Joongie,” and just like that, his heart picked up its previously lethargic pace. 

“Welcome home my love,” the endearment slipped off his tongue, earning him an amused chuckle. 

“Mhm, missed me?”

“Maybe a little,” he played coy, knowing full well that you could read him like an open book no matter what front he put up. He returned your gleam, keeping his undivided attention on you as you sauntered off in the opposite direction. 

“I just need to change and I’ll be right back, alright?”

“Of course.”

Suddenly, the laptop and exams on the table irritated him. Hongjoong rose and tidied the papers into neater piles, shut his laptop, and arranged them all on the other side, as far away from him as possible; in his mind, should you two decide to have dinner in this room instead of the kitchen, you could sit closer to him. A win in any book. He pushed the sleeves of his shirt further up and carded his fingers through his hair, undoing a couple of unruly knots. What was he readying himself for? Maybe the answer was something beyond him, but he could not deny the warmth in his chest that grew and grew when he spotted you across the corridor once again, only now in a pair of pajama bottoms and one of the band t-shirts that he owned and you constantly borrowed.

Caught in a miniature mental disarray, he remained where he was, only slightly moving to allow for your arms to snake around his torso, and his hands to settle on your waist. Your embrace was grounding, boundless in affection, and Hongjoong gave up to the floaty sensation as he leaned in and buried his face in the crook of your neck. Surrounded by the remnants of the light, daytime perfume that you used, he found himself in paradise. He sensed a hand trail up his spine and start to toy with the longer hairs at the back of his head. This was a habit that you had only recently picked up, seeing as, for once, he was letting his hair grow longer, and he would be lying if this was not motivation for him to keep the mission going indefinitely. A warning hum erupted from somewhere deep in his chest when you lightly tugged. In a feeble attempt to mask his response to your playful caresses, he murmured:

 “How was work?”

“The usual, though it was quieter now that most people are off,” Hongjoong lifted his head and was immediately dazed by the adoration pooling in your eyes. You looked at him as if he hung the stars in the sky. Inadvertently, he pulled you closer, and yet still wasn’t quite satisfied.

“How’s everything for you?”

“Been focusing on the exams today, got through most of them actually.”

“Oh look at you, my scholar,” you whispered in response, tapping Hongjoong’s nose with your own. Meekly, he smiled and attempted to look away, only to be guided right back with your steady hand that had now let go of his hair, instead resting on his jaw.

“I should be the one praising you… who closed that insane project that was initially expected to be postponed into the new year, hm?”

“That I did, indeed, but doesn’t take away from how proud I am of you,” your words were honey, trickling into his ears and coating his very soul like a soothing balm.

“And I am proud of you.”

“We did well, didn’t we, Joongie?” The nickname had him wavering, tip-toeing on the edge of rationality.

“Mhm,” his next words came on their own accord, raw, vulnerable, barely audible, “I really missed you, darling.”

“But I am here, aren’t I?”

“I’m sorry, I might be getting greedy,” his hands ghosted over your hips until one hand pushed you into him by the small of your back. You let out a gasp, but quickly regained your composure, clearly not taken aback. 

“Not that I mind it… Ah, is my poor Joong lonely?” after a few seconds of silence, you continued, “you are so precious, you know that?” He loved that expression you got when you basked in the glow of knowing. Knowing just how far gone Hongjoong was for you. It was embarrassing at times to reveal and admit how pathetic he could become just to see that little smirk, even just to himself, but he did not dwell on it for the reward was far too great, “tell me what you mean, baby.”

“I-... I know we agreed to keep things busy this winter but I can’t help but want… yeah, I miss you.”

“Can’t help but want me, you mean?” you detangled his intricate web in no time. Hongjoong walked in circles, while you cut straight to the chase. Maybe this was why he did not care for much at all except for your understanding and your reciprocation. He nodded, finding solace in hiding his face in your neck once more.

“Well, baby, what’s got you so pensive? Hm? Tell me?” your voice shifted from allure to sweet concern as you checked in. Hongjoong was all the more exposed, every move less calculated than the one prior, and your infinite devotion towards him, his thoughts, his everything was making him too dizzy to stand up straight.

“I just… hm, I don’t know-”

“You do, maybe are just too shy to tell me?”

“I want to spend more time with you, just us, you know? Little dates, we don’t have to do much… but I want us to be present, ah what am I even saying-”

“You were saying something that I would love to do, Hongjoong,” you were quieter than before, more tender, “we have definitely been a little relaxed after moving in together, haven't we?”

“Mm, I wouldn’t say that-”

“I would. And that won’t do. So, how about we start now, then?”

All too delectable were the images that flashed in Hongjoong’s mind, and he felt bashful and helpless under your steady scrutiny. With your pointer finger resting under his chin, he could not do anything except stare back, a task proving to be increasingly challenging as heat rose on his cheeks. His head moved on its own accord, response shallow, almost a tremble rather than agreement.

“Words, Joongie, good boys use words.”

Oh how he craved you. His stomach coiled at your dangerous reminder. Instead of any coherent phrase, vulnerable, shallow breaths danced between you and him. Nobody was his audience except you, nobody knew him like you did, and yet the sheer weight of his infatuation with you was preventing him from saying a single thing, despite any fears being irrational. As soon as he were to say what was yelling at him in his mind, you would be satisfied, and allow him to drown in everything that you were.

“Yes…” he choked out, relieved upon detecting the beginnings of a feline grin.

“Yes what? Do elaborate.”

“Yes I- want this. I want us, I want you.” 

“How?”

“I want you to do whatever you want to me,” heart hammering in his chest, he stammered.

“In that kind of mood, are you?”

“Oh please-” he wanted to disappear, shrinking back to free himself from your hand to no avail. Your chest again his, lips a mere tilt of the head away, and his senses were flooded.

“I’d love to, Joongie, I’d love to take care of you.”

Soft lips moulded perfectly with his, like freshly fallen snow. Hongjoong’s senses went into overdrive as the kiss built up into a sultry, addictive rhythm. Teeth grazed his lower lip ever so gently, and before he could react,you deepened the kiss by resting your arms on his shoulders. Immediately his hands responded by finding purchase on your lower back. He was grateful that your mouth muffled the whine bubbling in his throat as you purposefully shifted your body into his. But somehow, it was still not enough. 

“Mh- sorry-” Parting for air was simply an excuse for Hongjoong to fish for his glasses with a trembling hand and set them down on the nearest surface. Apparently, it was not a distraction to you in the slightest.

Your onslaught continued past his plush, reddened lips and across his jaw, ending on a particularly sensitive spot on his neck. He jolted, but when you chased him to nip at the same place again he took no time in giving you better access. You moved again, leaving quick pecks on his lips and pressing your forehead against his. In the breathless euphoria any chances to overthink had disappeared, and he allowed himself to let go, to be completely yours. He was willingly leaving himself to be at your mercy, knowing that he was going to be safe, going to be adored. In a flurry of emotion, he bared his soul.

“I love you,” he did not notice the shakiness in his own hands until you raced to clasp them with your own.

“I love you too, Joongie.”

It took one step for him to start following you to the bedroom. You appeared as the very notion of calm, guiding Hongjoong. You let go of one of his hands to switch on a bedside lamp, making haste to return your attention to him. He melted under your touch, half-lidded eyes following how your swift fingers undid the buttons of his shirt. You treated him like he was priceless porcelain, a touch here, another there, skillfully ghosting over the places you know, from experience, would send him reeling and falling to your feet. But it was obvious that this was not the night for such a progression. Tonight was about connecting beyond the physical, about exploring intimacy as more than just some flimsy term.

As soon as you gave the sign, Hongjoong shrugged off his top, shivering momentarily until your hands were back, roaming his chest and waist freely. Enthralled, he mumbled your name. His eyes roamed ceaselessly as you got undressed, standing proudly before him, almost fully bare, beautiful. While you had told him you changed, evidently that included a conscious decision to dress up in the most enticing lingerie - he thought it was impossible to keep falling in love like this, but he kept on proving himself wrong whenever you were with him. Even though he had seen you like this many times over, every time left him wondering how he could possibly have found someone so lovely. Words escaped him. 

“Leaving me alone like this?” you asked, a smirk etching itself into your features. You did not need to ask Hongjoong twice for him to clumsily begin undoing his trousers and settle on the edge of the bed, face flushed.

“So precious, so good to me,” you cooed, carding your fingers through his wavy locks.

When you straddled his lap and inched dangerously close to his boxers, Hongjoong swore his head was spinning. Prompted by another gentle tug at his hair, he kissed the soft skin of your breasts, one hand making quick work out of undoing your bra while the other played with the lacy fabric. 

He followed your sighs, your sharp inhales and exhales, the sounds you bit back and he would tirelessly do anything to hear. His teeth grazed you ever so lightly as he travelled from one breast to another, a trail of kisses remaining anywhere he went. You grinded your hips into his with more purpose, feeling that delicious heat starting to rise in your core. Hongjoong responded with a flick of his tongue on your nipple, humming when he could finally rid you of pesky material, leaving him with every chance to show his love for you. Fingers stimulated the one he had shifted away from, while his other hand returned to its rightful place on your lower back. 

It was as though a fire had enveloped him. There was not enough space, not enough air, and yet his only wish was to be so close to you that he could simply disappear. He was painfully aware of his hardening length, the continuous friction leaving him with half a mind to start begging. For what? Perhaps, for anything. Anything that you would give. You pulled yourself even closer, now sat directly on top of the growing wetness on his boxers, putting all the more effort into your hips. Airy mewls spilled from his lips, and he lunged to hold you, hands on your ass encouraging you to continue to untangle him at this agonising pace.

It was a game of lips, tongue and teeth. You returned to kissing him, foregoing whatever stability you tried to contain to completely sink into his form. Taken as he was by you, Hongjoong tried his best to keep up, lewd, slick noise that echoed in his ears only spurring him on. 

Your limbs were cotton, thoughts preoccupied by a carnal want. Palming his erection, you smiled against Hongjoong’s lips when he moaned.

“How’s that baby, hm?”

“Don’t stop-”

“Want more? Is that right?” feverish nods, resulting in you pulling at the elastic of his boxers, “Off,” you sat up a little to help him, balancing with your knees on the bed as he shimmied the fabric off just enough for you to push it further down to his ankles, “so pretty.”

You covered your palm in his dripping pre-cum and smoothed it down his length in a couple of skilled pumps, amused by Hongjoong’s adamance to be obedient, pursing his lips to remind himself that he shouldn’t buck into you. His gaze was fixated on your caresses, just enough to drive him mad, but not enough to take him over the edge, only ever wavering to glance at your still-clothed pussy. Judging by your momentary spell of quiet, you were trying to focus on him at the expense of your own desires. 

With another groan, Hongjoong slipped your panties to the side, calloused fingers immediately being coated in slick. Rhythmic circles over your clit turned to music to his ears as you mewled, leaning forward to find his shoulder, biting it ever so slightly. With every breathy moan his body kept on screaming for you, your warmth unbearably inviting. When he dipped two fingers into your core your movements faltered and you squeezed around his base in warning. He could lose himself then and there, sheer power of will leaving him one thread to hang by.

“Baby, can I please-”

“Say it, Joong,”

“Can we take it to the end? Please, please I-”

“If we don’t I’d be upset. I, want, you, so, bad-” you punctuated your response with pecks across his face, an ecstatic grin meeting his own.

You and him were a mess of limbs and pleasure falling onto the bed, him helping you over and pulling the panties completely off, humming at the sight. He was eager to please, ensuring you were comfortable with how you were lying down. Adjusting the pillows, placing one under your hips to avoid any strain, checking that you would not hit the headboard, stretching towards the drawer to take out a condom, speedily tearing the packaging and rolling it on. You watched him, enamoured. Beauty, inside and out, ethereal in the honey-coloured light.

He positioned himself at your entrance, gliding his tip a couple of times over your sensitive clit before pushing in. You sighed, head falling back at the relieving fullness. Your walls clenched around him as he bottomed out, making him let out a low growl. He shifted his weight forwards until his arms were on either side of you and he could indulge in your every expression.

It was a delightful stretch. Your every sense was filled by him, and only him. Then, he began to move. He started agonisingly slow, pulling out almost his entire length only to drive it back in, punctuated by the sound of skin against skin. He dragged his hips almost lazily, but you knew better than to assume that this was going to continue for much longer, given his shallow breathing.

Hiis thrusts became more accentuated, faster within a few minutes, and you searched for anything that you could hold, all too quickly losing yourself. In a feeble attempt to reach for him you lifted your arms upwards. More often than not you did not need to explain to Hongjoong what it was you wanted - he read you and understood, just like now. With a strained chuckle he edged forwards until he was close enough for you to wrap your arms around his neck. The feeling of your digits back in his hair had him biting his lower lip, barely containing his building high.

A particularly deep thrust made you tug at strands, and he moaned, rolling his hips with newfound vigour. Every time you clenched around him he became more frantic. The glide against your walls was perfection, the familiar coil tightening at a frightening speed towards a crashing release. Your arms collapsed when Hongjoong cursed under his breath, tapping your thighs to angle them upwards. You shifted upwards, legs barely wrapped around him as the new position gave him even more depth and freedom to pound into you.

The wetness embracing him was downright vulgar, noise enhancing the redness of his cheeks. You tensed around him, previously quiet pants transforming into a mantra of his name. He gripped your thighs in a last attempt to remain grounded, but as waves of your climax took over you and you pulsed around his cock, limbs trembling, all he could do was give in. Give into you, give into white hot euphoria. You were soaking him, he was rapidly getting overstimulated but he could not careless, remaining exactly where he was even though his muscles were screaming.

He was completely spent. Nothing but adoration towards you remained. He winced as he pulled out and hastily took off the condom, far too sensitive to function. Falling to your side, he watched the rise and fall of your chest, entranced by how even the smallest details that you possessed had their own brilliance. After a few moments you shifted, pushing the pillow from underneath you and turning to the side, facing Hongjoong. Your sleepy, but totally mesmerised gaze made his heart hurt. You. It was you who he loved, you who he lived with, you with whom he could make love like this. 

“Hi,” you whispered with a giggle.

“Hi,” he brushed your cheek and kissed you again. You lifted your arm, suggesting that he were to move closer to you. Much to his dismay, a surge of stimulation pulsed through him, making him gasp. Thankfully, you took it with good humour, eyes travelling down his body, seductive even in the afterglow. 

“I am not sure I should move just yet,” he suggested with a chuckle, astonished with himself.

“Hm… then let me get us all cleaned up and I-”

“-you are not moving either,” powering through, Hongjoong stretched his arm until it was lying across your torso. There was no force behind the action itself, except maybe in his pouting lips that you could not help but want to kiss again and again. You chuckled and feigned annoyed acceptance.

“Fine, I guess we can stay.”

“Love you.”

“Love you more,” you countered.

“Impossible.”

You shifted closer until all you could see was Hongjoong’s face, and all he could see was yours. And yet, somehow, in each other’s eyes, you could see the world. Those plans you mentioned, those worries, those wishes, those desires all collected in miniature universes of the soul, reflections and projections of a life lived and to be lived together. Dreamy eyes.

📚perma-taglist: @charreddonuts @preciouswoozi @http-gyu @my-loves-my-life @yeonjunnie @wooyoungjpg @wowie-hockey @ren-junwrld @hongjoongs-patience @miriamxsworld @innsomniacshinestar @jaehunnyy @maddkitt @marsstarxhwa @asjkdk @northerngalxy

enjoyed? i would love to hear from you, it means the universe to me. thank you.

[sillymommy6969]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝕾UCH A BAD GIRL

Daniela Avanzini x fem!reader

summary: Y/N’s been busy working with Sophia to figure out the logistics to an upcoming schedule for Katseye. Dani’s feeling a little neglected from how occupied she’s been and decided to play a little game with her girlfriend

warnings: slight!nsfw, suggestive/sexual themes, harsh language, bratty!dani, teasing

Katseye’s lounge in HYBE was a cluttered, cozy haven, where the speakers were always on softly in the background with Lara’s playlist. The smell of coffee lingered in the air, and posters of their albums and plaques of achievements lined the walls. Y/N sat at the small table in the corner, surrounded by scattered notebooks and a calendar, biting the cap of a pen. Across from her, Sophia, leaned forward listening to the staff explain their plans, a furrow of concentration on her brow.

"We can squeeze in the thank-you video for Spotify on Friday after the Christmas vlog," Sophia suggested, tapping her fingers against the calendar. "But we’ll have to push back the tiktok recordings. Are we good with that?"

Y/N sighed, rubbing her temple. Scanning the dozens of events scribbled down on their group calendar. "I mean, we’re already behind on posting on social media. Pushing back recording again might throw off our momentum and just add more to the load we’ll have next time. Don’t you think?"

Sophia offered a small smile, chuckling at Y/N’s response. "That’s why I’m asking you. You're the planner of the group."

“Oh, yeah? Or are you just being lazy?”

Across the room, Daniela sat on the worn-out couch, scrolling mindlessly through her tiktok feed. But her eyes weren’t exactly trained on her phone, instead, glancing over the top of her phone to glare daggers at Sophia and Y/N laughing. Daniela knew it was for the band, but still, the late-night texts, long conversations, and inside jokes were starting to eat away at her patience. Who did Sophia think she is?

"Hey, Manon," Daniela called out, turning to her roommate, who was fixing her hair on her phone on the other end of the couch. "What are you doing tonight? Want to hang out?"

Manon raised an eyebrow, clearly catching the edge in Daniela’s tone but playing along. "What’d you have in mind?"

Daniela smirked and leaned closer, her voice dropping. "I don’t know, maybe we could Netflix and chill… There’s this new movie that just got on, I heard it’s pretty… hot and heavy.”

Manon knew what Daniela was doing. She did it once in a while whenever she felt jealous. Manon was all for games.

“Oh, yeah?” She smirked, “I’d rather watch something else.”

Y/N’s head snapped up from the calendar at the sound of Daniela’s flirtatious tone. She looked across the room, her eyes narrowing as she saw the way Daniela was leaning toward Manon, her hand brushing against the eldest’s arm.

Sophia noticed the shift in Y/N’s focus and frowned. "Hey, are you listening?"

"Yeah, yeah," Y/N muttered distractedly, her eyes still glued to her girlfriend. She mentally cursed the woman out, knowing Daniela was just playing games. “What’d you say?”

But what Sophia repeated went in one ear and out the other.

Manon glanced between Y/N and Daniela, clearly amused but also slightly uncomfortable. She leant in, brushing the Latina’s hair away from her ear. "If I get in trouble with Y/N for this, you are buying me coffee the next month," she said dryly.

Daniela giggled, brushing her hair back in an exaggerated gesture. "Fine. But at least act like I’m seducing you."

Manon had to resist the urge to grimace before scrunching her nose, bopping Daniela’s with the tip of her finger. “Well, Dani,” she voiced just a tad louder so the room could hear, “If that’s what you want, I’d love to take you… driving.”

“But, Manon… it’s not your car I wanna ride.”

Daniela’s pout was sickening. Manon almost lost the plot, she nearly praised her roommate aloud for her impeccable acting.

Y/N rolled her eyes at her girlfriend’s antics. Daniela was such a brat. Used to her parents spiking her rotten, she always had to have what she wanted. At the start of their relationship, Y/N wasn’t really exposed to just how much of a child Daniela could be. But as time went on, the Latina would whine and beg like there was no tomorrow, and everytime without fail, Y/N would eventually cave and give her what she wanted.

Megan, Yoonchae and Lara sat on the couch opposite Manon and Daniela’s, the three of them falling strangely silent as they glanced between the roommates and the pair sitting with their manager. A show was unfolding indefinitely.

Y/N slammed the pen down on the table, startling both Sophia and Manon. "I’m sorry, Sophia, will you excuse me. Please?"

The leader just nodded, “Yeah, sure?”

She stood, her chair eerily scraping against the floor. She grabbed Daniela’s arm harshly when she strode past the couch, glaring down at a timid Manon as the girls watched.

In the hallway, Y/N grabbed Daniela’s wrist, her grip firm but careful, and dragged her around the corner, out of sight from the others. The door to an empty rehearsal space clicked shut behind them, leaving a charged silence between them.

"What the hell was that, Dani?" Y/N hissed, pressing Daniela against the wall, her eyes blazing.

Daniela smirked, leaning back, her lips curling in defiance. "What? You’re too busy playing manager with Sophia to even notice me, so I figured I’d have a little fun."

"Fun?" Y/N repeated, her voice dropping, dangerously low. Her body leaned closer, her hands on either side of Daniela’s body. "You think flirting with Manon to get a rise outa me is fun?"

"Maybe," Daniela said, her tone teasing, but her breath hitched slightly as Y/N’s face hovered closer. "You jealous, mami?"

"Jealous?" Y/N’s voice was sharp, but her lips curved into a smirk. "Yeah, I’m fucking jealous. You think I like watching my girl parade herself around another woman like a slut?”

Daniela’s playful expression faltered, replaced by a bit of fear. "Well, maybe if you spent a little less time with Sophia and paid me a little more attention, I wouldn’t have to get it this way. You’ve been so busy, we haven’t… y’know, in weeks.”

Y/N chuckled darkly, her hand sliding to Daniela’s hip, gripping it firmly. "Congrats, Dani. You’ve got my attention now."

Daniela swallowed hard, her teasing demeanor melting as Y/N closed the gap between them. Their lips crashed together in a heated kiss, all frustration and passion tangled into one. Daniela’s hands immediately found their way into Y/N’s hair, tugging slightly, earning a low growl in response.

Y/N pressed her body flush against Daniela’s, pinning her firmly against the wall. Her lips trailed down Daniela’s jaw to her neck, biting softly before soothing the spot with a kiss. Daniela gasped, her nails digging into Y/N’s back.

"You’re such a brat," Y/N murmured against Daniela’s skin, her tone both scolding and adoring.

Y/N’s hands roamed lower, sliding under Daniela’s shirt to touch bare skin. Her fingertips brushed against Daniela’s sides, her touch both firm and teasing, drawing a shiver from her.

"Yeah?" Daniela whispered, “What’re you gonna do about it?"

Y/N pulled back just enough to look Daniela in the eyes, her gaze dark and intent. "Remind you exactly who you belong to."

Daniela shivered, her teasing confidence now replaced with eager anticipation. Her hands grappled at the bottom of Y/N’s tank, yanking it upwards. She tugged Y/N closer, her lips brushing against hers as she whispered, "Then stop talking and show me."

Y/N didn’t need any more encouragement. Her hands roamed Daniela’s body, her lips reclaiming hers in a kiss that made Daniela’s knees weak. The tension that had been building for weeks finally exploded, leaving no space for words, only the heat between them.

Inside the rehearsal room, Sophia glanced at Manon, who was scrolling her instagram. "Why must you always encourage Dani’s behaviour?"

Manon shrugged with a sly grin. "It’s fine, Mom. Dani needs to get laid, Y/N needs to relax, I’m helping them out!"

Megan snorted, “Yeah, none of us are sleeping tonight.”

Sophia rolled her eyes, but a smile tugged at her lips. "At least we don’t have to hear them argue anymore."

Manon laughed. "Oh, girl. You’ll hear more than arguing."

As they walked back into the rehearsal room, Manon and Sophia exchanged knowing looks. Daniela’s hair was messed up, Y/N’s jeans hanging low off her hips. The Latina’s lips were swollen, and her eyes blown wide.

"Worked it out?" Sophia smirked, raising an eyebrow.

"Mhm," Y/N hummed, squeezing Daniela’s hand.

"Good," Sophia said with a grin. "Now let’s figure out this schedule before someone else starts flirting with Manon."

Manon groaned. "Why is it always me?"

“You better hope it’s not you next time,” Y/N glared, “I’ll flush all your make-up down the toilet, don’t test me.”

Manon saluted, “Yes, ma’am.”

[lqveharrington]

Hi, congrats on 2k! I was wondering if you could write Spencer Reid with Clean? Maybe something like Spencer got done with a bad case and is thinking about using but then reader helps him. Thanks!

Clean | S.R.

summary: When Spencer comes back from a bad case, you help him as best as you can; especially when his thoughts wander back to an unpleasant time in his life.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader

includes: angst, fluff, addiction, drugging, talks about death, crying,

a/n: i love me some spencer reid 💛 (rules for celebration here!)

As a behavior analyst for the BAU in Quantico, it was your sole purpose to evaluate and look into potential criminals' mindsets. At first, you were hesitant to take the job they offered to you – not wanting to deal with so much pain in life. To your luck, they countered with an office job to manage the data collected by the agents who flew out to deal with the cases face to face instead. You were surprised to hear that they really wanted you on their team. Maybe it was because you took all the psychology classes in high school, or perhaps it was all TV shows you watched just to figure out how they ended in the first episode, but after much convincing by your family, you took the job.

It took adjusting and many days of learning everyone’s name before you could get comfortable with the people you worked with. Especially the team that went out for the cases.

Gideon and Hotch — and eventually Rossi — always scared you just a bit, but you learned they cared for you like a daughter. Emily, Penelope, and JJ loved you more than their job. They always hung back with you whenever they had spare time. Derek did his best not to tease you with how young you started working with the BAU, but soon realized how similar you and Spencer were. Ultimately calling you pretty girl in comparison to Spencer's pretty boy.

When you first met Spencer, you swore you both awkwardly froze and avoided each other until JJ forced the both of you to get along. It wasn't like you disliked him — it was the opposite. You only began to get closer to Spencer when he would bring you hot chocolate every day because of the one time he bumped into you and spilled your drink all over the floor.

Eventually he did ask you out on a date and the rest became history.

You even helped him get clean when the incident happened years ago. That case made reality sink in quickly, especially when you got the emergency call from JJ in Atlanta, Georgia. That was the closest you had ever come to joining the traveling team.

Over the years, you made sure to keep Spencer in check. It scared you to even think about him going back to addiction. Yes, he handled tough cases, but he always knew you were there to help him. Until the most recent case. Where the most recent victim looked exactly like his daughter.

"Hey, when did you guys get back?" You raised your brows in surprise when you found Spencer spinning a pen in between his fingers at his desk. "I didn't get a text from you—?"

"My phone died." He muttered and looked up at you, eyes tired and overworked. Within seconds, you were pulled into his arms as his head found its way into your neck. "Missed you and Liv lots."

"We missed you too, Spence." You wrap your arms around him and rub his back. You let him settle into your arms before you separated and sat on his desk, confused at his sudden affection. "I haven't looked at this case yet. What happened?"

The storm outside thundered, causing him to jump and clasp your hand in his own. You frowned and squeezed his hand, head tilting to the side. Spencer was never this afraid of rain, especially when Olivia loved the rain and always asked the both of you to play in the rain whenever you were both home. So you did what you do best — analyze him based on his behavior.

"Uhm, the victim was kidnapped and drugged until she nearly passed away from how much was injected into her veins." He felt for your pulse and counted how many times you heartbeat passed in a minute. "We were cutting it close with time when she got to the hospital."

You watched the way he kept pushing his hair back and readjusting his glasses. He was constantly fidgeting, which made you frown. He fidgeted plenty, but this felt like it traced a little deeper than the surface showed.

Pursing your lips, you stared at his shaking hands and met his brown eyes. "Spence... There's something more to it, isn't there?"

He swallowed and nodded, voice coming out quieter than intended. His hold on your hand tightened as he spoke, eyes shutting like he was in pain. "She uh... She looked just like Olivia, just older."

Your heart broke when you heard his voice crack. He hadn't thought about his own addiction in a while, and seeing a girl who looked like his daughter having a similar experience had him spiraling. You saw the look in his eyes, how scared he was to ever think of losing you or losing Olivia in the process of going back to addiction. He seemed to overthink the entire situation. If that was his own daughter — who he prayed wouldn't ever be harmed in any of his cases — he probably would've quit on the spot.

"Listen to me, Spence." You start and took both hands in your own, smiling softly when you saw his wedding ring adorning his hand. It had been a couple of years since you married him, but every time you saw the matching rings, you were instantly transported back to the day.

You squeezed his hand and kissed the back of them three times, one thing you began doing since you started dating. "Olivia and I know you will do everything in your power to be there for us. We also know you would do everything not to go back to drugs, you know why?" When he stared at you with wet eyes, you continued, your own voice cracking. "Because you love us too much to ever risk yourself to a life of addiction. You have grown so much and we both know you would hate yourself forever if Liv saw you injecting Dilaudid into your own arm."

He stayed quiet and listened to your words intently. Even with his IQ of 187, he knew you were right. He had thought about going back, letting the drugs take him back to the dark place he said he never wanted to go back to. But as always, you pulled him out of the dangerous waves before the water could fill his lungs. You were one of the only people who could hear his cries without anything being said.

You brought a hand up and wiped a stray tear falling from his eye, like you could hear his unspoken thoughts. "I know you Spencer Walter Reid. I can read you like the back of my hand, and not because that's my job, but because you let me know you."

Like a surge of the perfect storm brewing outside, he cupped your cheeks and pressed a kiss to your lips. It was filled with all his stored emotions from one singular case. You could feel the desperation, love, need. He sought out for you in his darkest times. You kept him clean all these years and he wasn't going to let that streak die because of a hard case.

You and Spencer both went to pick Olivia up from her ballet lessons, wanting to surprise her. And boy was she happy to see both her parents. When she heard the bell ring above the studio's front door, her head peek above the half wall and met her parents' eyes. She but all squealed in happiness and rushed over to Spencer first, jumping into his arms and grabbing his face in her small hands.

"Hi, daddy!" She giggled and squished his cheeks, her pink tutu splayed over him. "I missed you a lot! Like, more than the entire world a lot."

"I missed you too, Liv." He smiled and kissed her cheek, lowering his head to whisper into her ear. "Have you been good for mommy while I was away?"

She tilted her head and gave him a cheeky grin, reading him as well as you could. "I'm always good for mommy."

You raised your eyebrow at her and tickled her sides before kissing her cheek as well. She was the sun that shooed all the dark clouds from Spencer's mind. Of course, she would never know that. Not until she understood everything her father went through to be there for her.

"Go get your stuff so we can get home. I'm sure daddy is tired and wants to hear all your stories from school." You nod your head toward her pink backpack, the different keychains and trinkets Spencer bought her hanging from every zipper.

"Oh, daddy, I have so many stories to tell you! Like that one time—!"

"Get your stuff first, Liv." He let her down from his arms and chuckled when she ran toward the cubbies, stuffing all her belongings into her bag.

You perched your chin on his shoulder and looped your arm around his — the both of you watching your daughter with loving eyes. He understood what it meant to be BAU Special Agent, but he also understood what it meant to be a husband and father. He knew that the balance between work and home was difficult, but he would do anything to keep his family safe. Would he quit? No, you would never let him. But he would ensure that his thoughts would never wander back to such a dark place.

He would stay clean just for you and Olivia.

"I love you." He whispered to you and turned his head to meet your eyes, smile echoing your own. "Like more than the whole world."

You laugh softly and kiss his cheek, "I love you too, Spence. Don't ever forget it."

©lqveharrington - all rights reserved. do not copy, translate or share my work on other media platforms

[r4fe-cam3ron]

CHRISTMAS STORY EIGHT | MERRY CHRISTMAS, I MISS YOU — s. harrington x reader

w; angsty! but has a cute ending :p

an; close to the ending! posting this one early so i can post the surprise one today as well <3!!

Steve Harrington used to be a cocky individual - or so it seemed, with the front he always tried to keep up until he finally allowed those walls to tumble after Nancy Wheeler. 

He wanted to prove himself to her, in a strange manner, and now he realizes that, maybe, if he would’ve truly just been himself instead of someone who Tommy Hagan and Carol Barrett wanted to hang around, things probably wouldn’t have ended the way they did. 

But, then he wouldn’t have been able to meet you with the way things had gone with Nancy. You were the epitome of a true angel. The day you’d stepped through the doors was his very first day in Family Video. 

Any and every word had slipped from his mind, forgetting how rude it was to practically stare at someone you don’t even know. 

You’d laughed about it and had continued to come to Family Video every Thursday and Friday night - conveniently the days he works night. 

It was you who had made the first move - a smile as you leaned on your elbows on the counter towards him. His brain had gone to mush again at the look on your face and the smell of your perfume invading his nose. Floral with a bit of cherry. 

“So am I asking for your number or are you asking for mine?” It was such a stupid line, yet it had worked. His fingers fumbling for a pen, knocking them into the floor in the process, Robin pausing her sweeping to stare back at him with an unimpressed look on her face. 

Your fingers have pressed to your mouth as you laugh, watching him grab a yellow post-it note before handing it to you. Everything had gone great - everyone in the party loved you, they always wanted you to be with Steve at anything he was invited to. 

Then things suddenly, somehow, went sour. He’d become more guarded, seemingly less interested than he was at first. He started to push you away more until there was nothing left to push away from. 

Now he’s sitting all alone, watching some weird movie playing on the television. The tuxedo he was wearing was so comfortable that he could probably fall asleep in it. He’d left his Dad’s work party early - nothing but older men and women there. 

The cookie he eats drops crumbs onto the lapel of his jacket and a bit on his pants. He tosses the rest on a napkin and leans back as he blinks at the television. 

“What is this?” He mutters to himself, grabbing the remote and turning the television off. He sits in the quiet for a while, puckering his lips slightly before standing. He pats at his pockets, slipping the pack of cigarettes out. He walks outside without grabbing a coat, immediately lighting the cigarette. 

He wasn’t planning on walking around aimlessly, but that’s what ended up happening. And that’s how he found himself in front of your small, cozy home, staring inside at the tree and the warm lights. 

There’s chatter going on inside, a loud laugh from somewhere in the house that he recognizes as you. He steps a bit closer, stopping when he realizes how close he is to the lawn. 

Then he realizes what he’s doing. He’s staring into your home. Through a window. In the middle of the night, like a creep, in a tuxedo as he freezes to death. He barely registers the chattering in his teeth and how tense and shaky his body is. 

The door suddenly opens and you step out onto the doorstep, tilting your head. “Steve?” 

He slowly turns and looks at you, his lips pulling into a tight smile. “Hi. Hello.” 

“What are you doing here, staring through my window? And without a coat? Are you insane?” 

Yes. Maybe. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…I was just aimlessly walking around.” 

“Oh,” He watches as your body slightly drops. He wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. “Uhm, would you…would you like to come in? Warm up for a bit?” 

“Is that…okay? I don’t want to intrude.”

You motion him inside. “It’s just some family. You’re not intruding.” He nods and follows you inside, shutting the door behind him. His nose is instantly hit with the smell of cinnamon, chocolate, and something else he couldn’t quite put his finger on. 

“Are you hungry?” You turn to him, arms dropping when you realize again that he doesn’t have a coat. 

“Not really.” He shakes his head. 

“Oh,” You nod. “Thirsty? My mom made some homemade hot chocolate.” 

He debates and eventually nods. “Yeah. That does sound nice.” 

You smile softly and he can’t help but think of how pretty you look with the warm Christmas lights hitting the side of your face, highlighting your features perfectly. 

“Okay, follow me.” 

He feels bad, truly. For standing outside your home and staring into the window, watching your family. And for how things ended. Once in the kitchen, he sits on the bar-stool, clearing his throat. 

“How have you been?” 

You glance over your shoulder when you grab a cup, shutting the cabinet door back as you shrug. You step over towards the stove where a pot sits on the eye, steam slowly rolling off the top. “I’ve been okay, I guess. Nothing really interesting happening,” You place the cup in front of him. “Whipped cream, marshmallows, or both?” 

“Both.” He nods. You nod and grab the bag of marshmallows, dropping a couple into the cup before opening the refrigerator door, grabbing the can out. 

“How about you?” You shut the door and step back, spraying some over the top of the layer of marshmallows. 

He watches. “Thanks,” He says when you stop. You nod and lean against the counter, looking at him the same way you did that night you’d used that one stupid line. “I’ve been…okay. I’ve been better.” 

You hum softly and nod, looking down at the counter this time. “What were you actually doing outside, Steve?” It sounds like you’re hopeful. Like you’re wanting him to answer in a certain way. 

“I was honestly aimlessly walking,” He says seriously. “I was at home because I left my dad’s work party early. Some weird movie was on television so I walked outside to smoke,” Your brows lift at that, eyes lifting to meet his. Smoke? When did he start smoking? “I hadn’t even realized I even started walking until I stopped.” 

“Oh.” 

You seem disappointed with that answer and he honestly doesn’t know what kind of answer you wanted. 

“So after this, you’re going to continue to not speak to me again?” 

Steve stares at you quietly, lips parting. He goes to speak, but someone enters the kitchen. “And who is this handsome man?” Your - very stumbly - aunt smiles, waving with her fingers. 

“This is Steve,” You motion towards him. He waves awkwardly. Oh, god. Family. Your family is here. “Steve, this is my Aunt Alexa.” 

“Well, what are you two doing in here? The fun’s in the living room - come on now!” She grabs your hand, pulling you with her. You glance back at Steve who sits there for a moment. Debating on if he should leave, and do exactly what you had just asked about, he sighs and stands, following you into the living room, standing next to you. 

“Oh, look at them,” Alexa grins, eyes drifting upwards. “There’s a rule you have to follow though.” She makes a slight face, wiggling her brows. Steve gulps and quickly looks up at the mistletoe your dad had put up this morning when your mom had passed. 

It seems as if he’d forgotten to take it down. 

“No,” You quickly shake your head. “No. No, we don’t have to follow the rules. It’s stupid. Besides, I believe Steve was leaving. He was just coming over to…” 

“To pick up my movie,” Steve lamely makes up an excuse. You wanted him to leave so he’ll go. “Thanks for the hot chocolate.” 

You nod. “I’ll walk you out.” Your cheeks are flushed red from embarrassment, cutting in front of him as you walk towards the door. 

“Sorry again,” He says softly. “I didn’t mean to…just—”

“Show up. I know,” You nod, eyes drifting outside towards the snow that falls. “You’ve made that clear.” 

Steve rubs his lips together before stepping out into the cold once again. Before you could close the door, he quickly turned. “I’m sorry for not calling you back.” 

“It’s fine, Steve. I understand—”

“No. You don’t understand,” He shakes his head. The tip of his nose and the top of his cheeks had begun to grow a pretty pink color. “I truly like you. I know it seems like I have a weird way of showing you, but I do,” 

Your arms cross over your chest when goosebumps have started to slowly lift across your arms. “I…when I begin to like someone, have strong feelings for them, I shut down,” He takes a breath. “Not because I don’t want to put in that effort; but because I’m scared too,” 

“When I was dating Nancy, everything seemed…easier in a way. I was doing things that I would never do again in a million years because I’m so embarrassed I acted that way. Granted, I was young, but still,” He takes a deep breath. “With you it seemed…complicated.” 

“Oh, thanks. That makes me feel better.” You let out a scoff, hand lifting to push the door shut. He quickly steps up again, pushing it back open. You're startled by his quick movements, head rearing back slightly. 

“I didn’t mean that in a bad way,” He shakes his head. “I should’ve worded that differently—”

“You think?” 

He finishes his words. “It was scary in a good way,” He nods. “It was new. Fresh. I could actually be myself with you - I never knew who I was, exactly, since I've always tended to be different around different people so I can match them effortlessly without them judging me,” 

Your eyes glance down at the ground before looking back up when he shifts closer. His freckles had faded across his nose. “I pushed you away because I felt…” He stops and his face falters. 

“Felt what?” You ask softly. 

“I love you,” He blurts out. “And it was…it was embarrassingly fast how easy it was to fall in love with you. I think that’s what made it complicated,” You let out a small breath. 

“Because it was easy. I’m used to difficult and ‘will they, won’t they’ type of relationship. This doesn't…this feeling doesn’t come close to even touching—”

He’s cut off by your lips brushing against his, your hands cradling his jaw. It takes him a moment, but he’s lifting his own hands to cradle your jaw in a gentle hold, stepping closer. 

Pulling away slowly, your nose nudges him once, twice, three times with a small smile. He presses another quick kiss against your lips. 

“If you do that again, Steve,” You look up at him. “I will not let you in again.” 

He nods and smiles softly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Do you mind if I stay for a while longer?” He asks quietly. 

You reach over and shut the door. “No. I don’t mind,” You shake your head. “And, Steve?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I love you too,” You nod. “It was…scary to me as well - but it felt nice. Like nothing before.” 

His thumb presses into your cheek and he kisses you once again - soft, sweet, and slow before pulling away. “Good to know.” 

| tags — @oceanblvd111 ; @ali-r3n

| please do not copy my work! comments, feedbacks, reblogs, & requests are welcomed and greatly appreciated! ❅

| border — @/silkholland

[justagaymoth]

It's out

I'm not finished but here it is so far

I don’t want a man or anybody I just need a warm body to hold. I don't want love of any kind. I don’t even love my friends its not like a hate them. I just don't love very often. That doesn't mean the people I love are any special. The main person I love is not “the one” whatever that means. If they were, it would be incsest. The only person I truly love constantly is my sister. This is not to say i dont care about humanity or the people in my life i just dont love them. I dont feel anything in my heart for them. Not my parents, not my friends, not the guys that ask me out because i'm pretty. I hate it when anyone says they love me because i can't love them back no matter how badly i want to. The guilt and disgust I feel when I hear the word love aimed at me like a missile that could kill a hundred men or more.

My life is pretty okay right now. Im in my first month of my semester of college and three boys have asked me out and two have asked me to parties. I like to think they asked me out because of my smart and witty comments in class but in reality its because of my face and boobs. I hate collage boys. Well most of them one is pretty alright he is in my biology 101 a first noticed him when I accidentally saw his test score on a pop quiz. I just happened to be looking that way. I was staring day dreaming about my sci fi fantasy world i've been thinking about since I was 5. The main thing that pushed me to try so hard to learn to read was that world. I needed to write it down and publish it one day. Maybe some other bullied kids would find as much comfort in that world as me. Anyways he was one of three people who didn't get a D or below on that test and this girl I didn't know were the only ones who got a decent grade.The third person who got a decent grade was me.I know this because everyone else growed or looked very sad or angry. The girl was so excited she passes she let out a tiny shriek. He got an A+ I got an A.

“Congratulations on your grade, that was a difficult quiz,” was the first thing I ever said to him.

“Thanks, hopefully you didn't do too bad.” I chuckled. I still don't know why I did that.

“I got an A. I figured I would get a B or C,” I said i was surprised i told him that last part.

“Why would you suspect a C you always make amazing comments in class. Sometimes it seems you know more than our professor.”

“You notice what i say in class? I thought no one payed attention to the professor much less me." Wait, I didn't mean to say that out loud.

“Sometimes your comments in class teach me more than Professor Browns,” he chuckled after he said that. His chuckles are like music. I don't love him. Don't get this twisted, this is not a love story. And this is definitely not one of those love stories that says that it's not a love story in the beginning of the movie but by the end they are in love.there was a short pause then he spoke again.

“I forgot to tell you my name, I'm Bayley but my friends call me Bark. I have a feeling we will be friends,” after he said that he grabbed my purple pen and started writing something a the straw rapper from his pesi. “Here is my number. I need more smart friends,” he said smiling and handed me his straw rapper.

“My name is Sophia but I hate my name so call me whatever you like.”

“Well I better get to my next class bye So-” he stopped himself from saying Sophia and just waved and smiled.

I kinda hope I see Bayely again. Something about him

seem different from the other guys who gave me their numbers. I think I might actually message him. I hear a ringing sound from my phone it's a phone call from my sister.

“Hey Sophia, how are you? We haven't talked on the phone in so long. I apologize for that I've been busy with school.” I could not help but smile it makes me happy when my sister calls me. She is the only one who I actually don't mind calling me Sophia.

“Hey Emma, I'm doing pretty well. Speaking of school, another guy gave me his number.”

“Wow, isn't that like the 5th guy or something? Do you think you are gonna go out with him? Is he hot?”

“He is the first guy to give me his number and not ask me out I think he wants to be friends or something. He said he needs more smart friends. It's weird a guy wants to be my friend and doesn't see me as just a hot body.”

“So Sophia, do you think you are going to text him?”

“Yeah probably he has a rare combination of brains and being attractive. He actually made me chuckle I don't know how he did that.”

“Does someone have a crush?” She said that in a sing song voice she is clearly in her romance obsessed high school phase.

“No but if he asked to fuck i might say yes.” I probably shouldn't have said that. It's okay Emma is a senior in highschool. She lost her virginity last summer to her now ex girlfriend.

“College must be wild.”

“It's really not especially compared to high school which is probably for the best.”

“I have to go Sophia, I still have some homework.”

“Okay Emma if you need any help with your homework call me back cause I'm kinda a huge nerd.”

“Okay bye I love you sister”

“Love you too Emma” I mean it's true I love my sister and myself are the only ones I really love in this world.

I begin to type out “hi this is Sophia”. Remembering when Bayley was about to call me Sophia but stopped himself I really liked when he did that. I press send hoping he doesn't ask me out. A few minutes later I hear I ding from my phone. It's Bayley. “Hey this is Bayley. How are you?”

“I am okay just bored I finished my homework ages ago. How are you Bayley?”

“This is a weird question but can I call you?” Bayley texted

I didn't text him back, instead he called me himself.

“Hey Bayley, why did you want to call me?”

“I just want to be closer to you.” Oh fuck he wants me doesn't he?

“I'm sorry Bayley, I don't want to go out with you.”

“I don't want that either I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that I just really need someone to talk to it's getting boring. I hate being alone and I am not on good terms with my family. Oh shit I didn't mean to say the family stuff out loud. I literally just met you. I am just really awkward.”

“It's okay Bayley. I need people to talk to as well my friends from high school were shit I only have my sister and she is 2 years younger than me.”

“How old are you So-” he stopped himself from saying Sophia he remembers I don't like that name how sweet. I still don't love him.

“I'm 19. How about you?”

“I'm 20 I turn 21 in October. I don't know what I'm going to do and who I'm going to hang out with. All I know is I don't want to spend my birthday by myself.”

“What day is your birthday, Bayley?”

“It's October 20th”

“Okay,” I said looking up how many days till then on Google. It's 21 days till then. Woah I can't believe it's September 30th already.

“Do you want to hang out this weekend? There is an orchard right by my house where we can go there.” I asked hopefully he says yes. I really need something to do.

“Yeah that sounds fun. I mean how could it not you are witty and pretty.” I laughed loudly when he said that.

“Shit it's already 7:30. I need to eat dinner.” I feel a little sad to end our phone call.

“Alright bye So” he said it just like he was saying someone's name. I think I like So better than Sophia.

I hang out every weekend till his birthday. Those 21 days were some of the best of my life. I still don't want to date him or anything. However every time we hang out he gets hotter. I really want to fuck him but I don't want to ruin my only friendship I have. So I resit the urge to tell him how handsome he looks every time I see him. The more I see him the happier I feel. Hanging out with him is good for my mental health. I like his jokes. He has called me pretty a couple times so maybe calling him handsome wouldn't be so bad. It's not like it means I want to date him or anything.

My alarm rings at 9 am on October 20th. My first class starts at 10:30. The first thing I do after seeing that it's Bayely’s birthday is I texted him a message that reads “Happy birthday Bayley I've really enjoyed getting to know you. It's really nice to have something to do on the weekends besides homework, job and watching New Girl.” I could help but think Maybe I could do you sometime. Of course I didn't send that. I made him a card already and drew him. I'm not very good. It was the first thing I drew in a year. I was depressed so I stopped drawing a year ago and I just never started up again. I might as well start now. Anyways the card has two paragraphs in it describing how I felt on our adventures with him. We have been hanging out every weekend for the past 3 weeks and we have coffee and do our homework for our biology 101 and help each other.

He's leaned his head on my shoulder a few times it usually stays there for hours. It's like my shoulder is the place his head has been searching for all his life. What am I even saying? I really should be in love when I'm with him I feel happy but not in love. When he puts his head on my shoulder my stomach settles. I feel so relaxed I feel like falling asleep. That's not how I felt when I was in love at age 16. I felt energized and my heart would swell up and fly. I don't feel that way with him. I don't know if this is what people feel for their friends because I don't remember the last time I loved any of my friends at the time. I just feel comfortable, happy and horny when I'm with him. I don't know if this is love. I don't want to date him because that would be a change. I like how it is now. The only change I want is for me to fuck him.

My phone rings. It's 20 minutes till my class. I'm driving there now. My phone is hooked up to the speakers I'm playing She And Him. Zoe Dechanel is so amazing. Sometimes I think I'm in love with her but that's not how it works. She is a celebrity. I don't think I've ever been this excited for biology 101. I really like science but that's not why I'm happy. Augh I'm so fucking horny right now. I'm also nervous because I sorta wrote that fact on the card. I don't remember everything I wrote because if I memorized it I would not give it to him. I'm so afraid I'm going to ruin his birthday with this card. I want him to have the best birthday possibly. If he wants to I plan to take him to his favorite coffee shop this weekend and then my house if he wants. I have so many things to show him at my house. I don't want to ruin what I have with him. I don't really want friends besides the casual ones I see once a month for science club. I just feel overwhelmed with too many friends and too many people. I don't know.

Oh shit I'm in the class he is standing next to me. We both arrived 30 or so minutes early to make sure we could review the notes we took yesterday. He is just standing there with A huge smile on his face. Shit he sees the card.

“Uh happy birthday. I made you a stupid card and I'm not very good at writing or drawing. I mean not when it comes to non science stuff. Well…” I say awkwardly.

“I can't believe you remembered!” He says excitedly opening the card. I want to disappear. This is so embarrassing. I just stand there staring at him. After what feels like hours but can't be more than 5 minutes. He hugs me. I'm still in shock. I feel nothing but fear.

“I love it. You are so pretty don't worry I don't want to date you either. I kept trying to give you hints that I wanted to sleep with you, this is the best way to tell me.” he whispers so quietly I can barely hear him. I've never heard him whisper and it's so hot. My weekend plans are so happening! I look to see if anyone is in the hallway when I see no one I kiss his check them whisper. “I have several birthday surprises planned for you this weekend.” He smiled in the hottest way possible. Not the same smile as when he was waiting for the card. I think he knows one of the surprises is sex he is clueless about the others.

I can't pay attention to the lecture today. I'm just thinking about sex and Bayley’s birthday. I can't stop replaying what just happened in my head. It was perfect. Maybe this wasn't so impossible afterall. I hope he doesn't find a girlfriend. I don't want to be his girlfriend but if he found one we could never talk. most people I talk to I don't want their partner to speak to someone they used to fuck or date. I hope this lasts longer than a few months like all the others. Most people don't want what I want or they do at first then they change their mind and I never speak to them or they call me when they get drunk or lonely. It's annoying.

I snap back into reality when the teacher asks me what is a difference between cells and animal cells.Thank god we were learning about something I already know today.

“Plant cells have cell walls which add an extra layer of protection. Plant cells also have Chloroplasts which play a major role in photosynthesis.”

“Thank you Sophia, see someone was paying attention.”

I quickly glance at Bayley. He is starting. I should probably help him review the slides this weekend. He is not paying attention just like me. The only difference is he is not going into science as a major.

update!!

I started writing a story about a loveless aromantic aplatonic allosexual nonbinary person. They met a guy named Bayely his nickname is Bark. they meet in a collage biology class and they don't fall in love or get into any type of relationship. They after a few months of being friends he develops sexual feelings for the main charter. and they become friends with benefits but the benefits are sex and cuddles. he has never cuddled anyone besides family because all of his romantic partners have just wanted him for his body. their story focusses on their abnormal friendship but its not a queer platonic relationship. eventually the main charter wants a kid and has the awkward conversation of asking Bark to help them explaining that he does not have to have a father role in the kids life if he does not want to. he says yes after a month of thinking it over he says he wants a more uncle like role in this kids life. after a year of sometimes helping out with this kid he wants a more fatherly role in this kids life. a few months later he moves in with the main charter to take care of the one year old. Bark and the main character have separate rooms they are pretty much friends with befits roommates who are raising a kid together. I have not written all of the story yet I only started writing it today I have 692 words so far. I got the idea for this story while daydreaming about what I want. I might call the main charter Soe (pronounced like the word so) as a shortened version of the charters birth name Sophia. Might post somewhere if anyone wants to read it when its finished comment or like this post if this sounds interesting to you

[banana-pancake5]

✨Doodles✨

[j-rye]

bun ny bunny bu nny bunny ? @wolfertinger666

[winters-rose-daughterofcain]

Let Penelope be a loser guys come one. "Why was she asking him to kiss her?" "Why was she the desperate one?" "Why didn't she make him work for it-" Because she likes him!!!!

Because pretty much any time not spent around Colin in episode 1&2 she's unhappy. Because he was being kind and she was relaxing around him and enjoying herself and doing well talking to people, because she's liked this boy for years and never truly gave up on him even when everything practical told her too. Because she was finally dressing the way she wanted and making a plan to get away from her family and it was actually working, she was genuinely desirable and a viable option, for once everything is going right and she also has Colin even if not the way the romantic side of her would hope, and then it all goes to absolute shit.

Suddenly she's an embarrassment and unwanted and the chance of marriage or escape or freedom has gone from slim to none, suddenly any respect or desirability she had is gone, and all because of the connection that has made her the most happy, all because people found out about Colin and his kindness and suddenly it all feels silly and desperate and like the childish dream of a 'sad, stupid girl'. Suddenly everything is ruined and she is once again a laughing stock. And she then had to go home and write about it, putting the nail in her own fucking coffin.

Because she is miserable and lonely and a young girl yearning to be loved. Because all of a sudden Colin is in her garden bribing her maid to get her alone, suddenly she's reminded that someone dose care, someone dose want her, someone dose hear and listen to her, someone still see's her as worthy of love even if (as she thinks) there is no possible way it could be the same kind. And that someone is the kind, handsome boy she's liked since she was a child. Someone she trusts, and it gave her just enough hope to try.

She asks him to kiss her because she wanted that one moment, that one memory of love and passion and intimacy with the boy she loves after having any hope of more from anyone completely dashed. She never wanted or asked Colin to grovel or beg, she just wanted an apology and she got one it literally didn't need to be more than that. He was on his knees in that damn carriage professing his love and need of her, dreaming of kissing her in a garden literally less then twelve hours after this and interrupting her dances to stop a proposal, he's a fucking loser (said with love), they both are. Let the girl ask for a kiss when she's yearning and upset and in love with her close friend god damn it.

Edit: this was like half a joke um but yeah more serious expansion here lol.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

IMAGINE. working at ur stupid uhhh job or whatever. pulling into your drive way and ready to work on some crazy project in your garage. opening the door to the most unfamiliar silence. did your wife and kid leave for something? could you imagine knocking on your kids door, hardly getting an answer, and opening it to find the splattered remains of your wife across his room your child is scared! hes hardly consolable, in a state of shock and terror. you are too, but youre the adult here. you need to take charge. you need to protect him. you need to do something. you need to do something.

[change-the-rules]

oh Wait A Second

Hang The Fuck On

Ive Got Another Thing Actually my beloved eloise Also came up with the dumbass plan to claim to be whistledown when she was backed into a corner by the queen it was a stupid plan then same as it was for cressida

the difference being eloise was confiding unwittingly To whistledown who immediately did everything in her power to shut that shit down for obvious reasons

ELOISE WAS IN DAMN NEAR THE SAME POSITION AS CRESSIDA WAS

at least in terms of personal desperation and impending doom closing in like for the love of fuck no one else could have possibly been in a better position to if not help then at the very Least EMPATHIZE

if everything went exactly as it had but *before* the dropping of the 'friendship soured' Out of Nowhere eloise had tried to comfort or reason with cressida Especially from this VERY RIDICULOUSLY SPECIFIC AND NICHE common thread but nuture and fear won out and cressida still went ahead with her ill-advised gambit?

and their friendship imploded accordingly

I would Not be nearly as annoyed as I am now because hey I like angst WHEN ITS GOOD STORYTELLING like damn

IT WAS RIGHT THERE Y'ALL ELOISE LITERALLY EXPERIENCED IT SHE HAD THE SAME THOUGHT WHY DID NO ONE USE THAT

[killer-blowmybrain]

@karineverse PLEASE I'M SO SORRY

like- i made this literally on THE DAY that the dtiys started, but i just remembered now that I DIDN'T HAD POSTED IT!! I'M SORRY PLEASE😭😭😭😭😭

but at least i really did the entry heheh

oh and yes the dress IS pink, but the quality of the photo is not so good-

[sportsthoughts]

I have been so resilient to yohe’s misery of late that I waltzed onto the athletic this morning coffee in hand expecting to laugh at him/mock his bad takes/read the silly comments/feel superior because at least I had some twisted fun watching the game! Turns out I’m not immune and I’ve have spent the last hour wringing my hands and feeling Real Life sad about the state of the pens

[rainybraindays]

Okay, apparently shutting the fuck up was never an option but the way no one likes to look at the marina situation and go "wow what the fuck is wrong with portia"? Crazy.

Like she immediately didn't like her, not because of anything she'd done, but because she took attention from her daughters no matter how bright she dressed them.

It didn’t matter that the main reason is that, honestly all 3 of her daughters are painfully awkward, and in ones case literally 17. It didn’t matter that Marina was only there at her fathers instance, or that theoretically through having someone thats clearly popular in her home she could have used it as a jump off mark to match her daughters, she was seen as her big hurdle to marrying them off. Marinas immediately othered, to the point that when shes being dressed the maids helping put on her shoes is enough to piss Portia off. She immediately puts Marina in the same ring as her daughters, fight for my attention and maybe maybe it'll be positive. But Marina doesn't do that because she doesn't want to even be there.

And then they find out she's pregnant and shes othered even more. She immediately tries to send her back, and when she's not allowed to do that shes locked away and the other girls aren't even allowed to talk to her. She literally tries to freeze her out, like Marina has any say in being there in the first place, before lying to her about her being abandoned by George.

She makes no attempt to find out if George has family, she doesn't care enough to try even though that would have been a way to get rid of her "problem". She tries to push Marina onto a man old enough to be her grandfather and slaps her across the fucking face when she tries to stand up for herself.

Theres no concern for her safety, for the babys safety, just getting her out of her house as fast as fucking possible, and I'm meant to be surprised that when Colin saves Marina from her elderly suitor she turns her attention to him?

Like the nicest guy, who everyone likes, who's attractive, who isn't multiple decades older than her and most importantly not going to literally assault her? Yeah not a big shocker. Should she have lied to him? No, but she wouldn't have had to or felt the need to if she wasn't in the most hostile fucking house. Even Penelope, who she likes, why does everyone forget that she fucking likes Penelope and viewed her as a friend, becomes aggressive towards her. Shes cornered, shes scared, and all of this could have been avoided if Portia was a slightly better person and said "hey soilder boys not written back, you're gonna have this kid, does he have any family?" instead of setting this entire mess in motion.

[bmpmp3]

yesterday in vocal synth news

[anastacialy]

y'know, i keep making a habit of swinging my bat at hornets nests, but i have to say i'm getting so, so tired of people complaining about shows not making perfect sense when they aren't even close to done. we're four episodes into this season of doctor who. we're four episodes into this season of bridgerton. and yet in both fandoms i keep seeing people whine that such and such didn't make sense or it wasn't explained all the way and by god you guys i think maybe explanations might come later in the season. this is something most viewers will recognize as being called a 'plot.'

[comas-are-for-sleeping]

anyway do u think deadpool and wolverine is on streaming yet i need to find that on a totally legal website soon

as of saturday night IT IS NOT !!! which sucks and they lied

i know it is on the totally legal website soaper.tv or whatever its called ;)

ok coming back to here after writing all the tags thirty tag limit?? that is wild to me i didnt know that existed