#the girls 19 she can ask the guy she likes to kiss her

[winters-rose-daughterofcain]

Let Penelope be a loser guys come one. "Why was she asking him to kiss her?" "Why was she the desperate one?" "Why didn't she make him work for it-" Because she likes him!!!!

Because pretty much any time not spent around Colin in episode 1&2 she's unhappy. Because he was being kind and she was relaxing around him and enjoying herself and doing well talking to people, because she's liked this boy for years and never truly gave up on him even when everything practical told her too. Because she was finally dressing the way she wanted and making a plan to get away from her family and it was actually working, she was genuinely desirable and a viable option, for once everything is going right and she also has Colin even if not the way the romantic side of her would hope, and then it all goes to absolute shit.

Suddenly she's an embarrassment and unwanted and the chance of marriage or escape or freedom has gone from slim to none, suddenly any respect or desirability she had is gone, and all because of the connection that has made her the most happy, all because people found out about Colin and his kindness and suddenly it all feels silly and desperate and like the childish dream of a 'sad, stupid girl'. Suddenly everything is ruined and she is once again a laughing stock. And she then had to go home and write about it, putting the nail in her own fucking coffin.

Because she is miserable and lonely and a young girl yearning to be loved. Because all of a sudden Colin is in her garden bribing her maid to get her alone, suddenly she's reminded that someone dose care, someone dose want her, someone dose hear and listen to her, someone still see's her as worthy of love even if (as she thinks) there is no possible way it could be the same kind. And that someone is the kind, handsome boy she's liked since she was a child. Someone she trusts, and it gave her just enough hope to try.

She asks him to kiss her because she wanted that one moment, that one memory of love and passion and intimacy with the boy she loves after having any hope of more from anyone completely dashed. She never wanted or asked Colin to grovel or beg, she just wanted an apology and she got one it literally didn't need to be more than that. He was on his knees in that damn carriage professing his love and need of her, dreaming of kissing her in a garden literally less then twelve hours after this and interrupting her dances to stop a proposal, he's a fucking loser (said with love), they both are. Let the girl ask for a kiss when she's yearning and upset and in love with her close friend god damn it.

Edit: this was like half a joke um but yeah more serious expansion here lol.

[sturn-saturn]

hey baby girl

pairing: fem!pregnant!reader x husband!chris

warnings: just cutesy stuff <3

a/n: i thought of doing this while watching shameless 😁

week 20: "hey, baby girl!" chris says as he holds up a camcorder. "so today, mama and i went to the baby doctor and we found out you're a girl!" your husband turns the camera to you and your hand is placed on your baby bump rubbing it up and down while the other is holding up your ultrasound pictures.

"we're so excited to meet you baby girl!" you smile kissing the camera goodbye.

week 21: "hey, baby girl!" you say holding the camera. chris is upstairs in your shared bedroom still sleeping. "as you can see, mama just woke up, i'm very tired but dad i have some errands to run so we can prepare for you to join us in 19 weeks. so the plan for today is to visit your grandparents, dads parents, then we're going out to target to look at some onesies for you and little socks to keep your tiny toes warm, after is the grocery store. i'll be sure to get some yummy stuff so i can keep you and i fed! alright baby girl, catch you later!" you say kissing the camera once again.

week 22: you and chris were on the couch watching coraline since it was your favorite comfort movie.

"hey baby girl!" chris says holding the camera up to face you both has his other hand is rubbing your belly gently.

"so right now dad and i are watching my favorite comfort movie because i wasn't feeling well today."

"her tummy was cramping but don't worry, it wasn't your fault. you're our baby girl, you could do no wrong." your husband says with a big grin.

"i'm hoping when you're older you enjoy this movie as much as i do. your dad and i actually watched this on our 5th date i believe." you smile.

"alright sweetheart, mamas gotta get her rest, see you tomorrow!" your husband says kissing the camera.

week 23: "hey baby girl! alright so we are in the car right now and todays plan is going to the doctor to make sure you're healthy and see how much you've grown. after that we need to find a bassinet for you to get a good nights sleep!" chris smiles at how cute he finds you.

"there are so any people who can't wait to meet you sweetheart. 4 grandparents, a bunch of aunts and uncles, our friends too!" he adds.

"you're so loved already, honey. okay we're here! time to go!" you kiss the camera.

week 24: "hey baby girl so today, uncle nick and uncle matt dropped by and got you some presents. they got you the cutest onesies, some baby bottles, and toys! we know you wont be able to play with toys until you grow a bit and get used to the new world but you are going to love them! also dad has something to say." you hand the camera to chris and get up to get a snack.

you over hear your husband talking to the camera and your eyes soften looking over at him.

"mama and i are gonna do everything we can to protect you. we will support you in anything you want to do. the only things we want from you is to be a good person and spread love. also you have to play lacrosse or hockey like me and your uncles did!" he laughs.

"chris what if she doesn't wanna play either of those?" you ask.

"well what every she decides to play she's gonna be amazing. she's half of you anyway. bye darling!" he yells kissing the camera.

week 25: "hey baby girl! we're currently at grandma and grandpas house for a little cook out with the family." you say showing everyone around.

"are you guys making a little vlog for the baby?" jimmy asks.

"we are!"

"mind if i say a few words?"

"not at all!" you hand the camera to jimmy and you use this time to rest your arms a bit.

"alright sweetheart. as you know, i'm your grandfather, your dads dad. i just wanted to let you know that i can't wait to meet you. you're my first grandkid! as much as i love my boys, i've always wanted a girl in the family and you're finally making that dream happen. i will definitely be taking you on fishing trips so get ready!"

jimmy hands you the camera with a big smile on his face. "you're gonna be a great mother, honey."

tears start to well in your eyes from the love you've received from your husbands family throughout the years. you thank jimmy and you kiss the camera goodbye.

week 40: "hey baby girl!" chris whispers. "today is a big day. mama felt some extra kicks last night and it turns out you're coming today! she's currently resting right now so she can use all her energy and strength to bring you here. keep this between us, but your moms a superhero." he smiles.

"chris?" you mumble. "come here."

chris comes over with the camcorder in his hand with a look of concern on his face. "what's up mama?"

you reach your hand for the camera and he hands it to you.

"hey sweet girl. i'm sure dads told you we're at the hospital right now waiting for you to come. it's currently 10pm and we're all super tired but this is all worth it if it means we get to finally meet you." you smile lazily.

4 hours later...

the doctors all finally left the room. they said that was the easiest delivery they've had to work through. chris is currently standing with your baby girl in his arms facing the window to see the city lights.

"hey clara." chris whispers rocking his daughter back and forth gently. "mamas resting again. the doctors told her she did a great job! i told you your mom was a superhero. in just 3 days you'll get to come home with us. how exciting is that!? grandma and grandpa are coming tomorrow to see you as well as your uncles. i love you baby girl. goodnight." chris kisses his daughters head before setting her back in her bassinet.

he relishes in the feeling of being a new dad before he drifts off into a good nights sleep.

taglist:

@sturniolos4life16 @hoeforchrizz @luckyscharms @emely9274 @chrispotatos @weirdratperson @simpson12 @ilovemenwithlonghairr @angeldvstee @pussypie456 @valentinasturniolo @chrissturnioloenthusiastforlife @cravingchrissturniolo @wonnieeluvvr @flouvela

[rhiannonsknife]

── ౿🐝 SECRETLY HOOKING UP WITH JACKIE TAYLOR

— summary: secretly hooking up with jackie taylor hcs.

— warnings: fem!reader. anytime i mention soccer, please know i don't have any idea what i'm actually talking about. lowkey mean!jackie. internalized homophobia. she's a lesbian in denial, guys. cheating. some nsfw content. so: mdni.

— a/n: this takes place at the very end of the last year of highschool (in my country, you’re either 18 or 19 by the time you graduate!!) so all characters in this are 18+!!

jackie, who always knew exactly who she was and what she wanted.

the popular, picture perfect girl. the captain of the school’s soccer team. the one everyone admired (or wanted to be). she thrived on this attention, on the control, on the perfectly crafted reputation. that was until you came along, slipping right past her carefully built walls & challenging her in ways no one ever had before.

jackie, who makes up excuses for her own actions.

at first, she told herself it was just curiosity. a distraction, maybe even, from the pressure from her constant attempt to appear “perfect”. the first kiss was a spontaneous thing, after all. just a quick, impulsive thing neither of you talked about afterward. “you know this doesn’t mean anything, right?” she’d told you sharply after she had been the one to push you up against the lockers after another game lost. “this was just…I don’t know. a moment. it won’t happen again!”

jackie, who has convinced herself that it really doesn’t mean anything. even if she keeps coming back for more.

each time she does come back, it’s with a new excuse. insisting that it was just fun, a secret game she could control, you and jackie start hooking up in secrecy. she would never let herself fall for you -not really. it’s just another thing she could keep under her thumb. or so she told herself, time and time again.

jackie, who at first, insists on only meeting you late at night or when she’s absolutely certain no one else is around.

she leaves notes in your locker or shoves them into the pockets of your soccer shorts in passing, always keeping her tone casual and nonchalant. “meet me behind the bleachers after school. -j”, “i’ll pick you up at 9. be there. -j” etc.

jackie, who never sticks around after a hookup.

every time, she will come up with some excuse to leave or even have you slip out on a side door. she never seems to feel guilty for making you leave like this either: she simply fixes her hair in the reflection of her mirror, meeting your eyes when she notices you staring. “what are you waiting for?” she asks, like it’s obvious what you’re supposed to do next. with a sigh, she turns around. “you should go. i invited jeff over, he’ll be here soon and i don’t want him asking questions.”

because, right, jackie who’s in a relationship with jeff.

you’re pretty sure she doesn’t actually love him, judging by the way she talks about him so casually after you’ve had your head between her thighs mere minutes ago. it’s all just a necessity, a part she plays in order to keep up the perfect facade of the girl she’s supposed to be. you don’t fit into the picture here. but she’s with him all the same, just getting off on your face so she can release some pent-up energy before she has to fake it with him later that same day.

jackie who’s actually rather inexperienced when you first start this…

…and only ever knew slow, unfulfilling sex under the blankets and in missionary. she’s demanding and in control when she first shoves your hand down her pants eagerly, but her face and the way she doesn’t yet know how to move and what to do with herself doesn’t go unnoticed by you. she’s not a virgin when you first fuck her, but she’s only ever had jeff before, who never quite knew how to make her feel good. naturally, this is all new territory she’s exploring with you. having her in your lap, experimentally playing with her nipples and pushing your thigh up between her legs, seeing what’ll work best for her. “oh, that feels good” she moans when you suck on her breasts, right before burying her hands in your hair and pushing you further against her chest. “right there, don’t stop.”

jackie who loves it when you go down on her. (dare i say oral fixation in general….?)

jackie loses it when you first put your mouth on her. jeff certainly hadn’t done that for her yet, and she’s surprised at how good your tongue feels, lapping up her arousal. jackie actually has to press her face into her pillows so her neighbors won’t hear her moans. she’s so vocal for you, generally speaking, making hookups in any public place nearly impossible and always adding a little risk to them which thrills her. ever since, you’ve learned all her favorite spots, know how to make her cum hard and fast, and what to do to tease her and make the most of the experience of being between her thighs.

jackie who will constantly remind you that it’s nothing serious between the two of you.

“this doesn’t mean anything,” jackie says, her lace panties not even fully back in place yet. she’s on the passenger seat, your fingers covered in her release still. you awkwardly wipe them on the denim of your jeans, grimacing at the stain they leave. “look,” she doesn’t even look at you, only fixes her hair in the rearview mirror. “i don’t want you getting the wrong idea.” jackie goes through her purse, fishing out a tube of lipstick and reapplying it in the places your mouth has smeared it. “i’m not- i’m straight. i’m with jeff. this is just-“ and then she trails off and you never learn what it is that she wanted to say. sometimes it feels like she’s reminding herself, rather than you.

jackie who, regardless of this, has these moments where she almost seems jealous.

in spite of her insistence on keeping things casual, jackie can’t stand seeing you talk to other people -especially girls. whether it’s in the halls or at parties, she will bring it up later on. “is that your type now?” she asks breathlessly, arms draped around the back of your neck. “or are you just trying to get a reaction?” it’s almost conversational like she’s not simultaneously bouncing on your fingers. but before you can assure her that you were not flirting with anyone, she brushes it off like she never said anything at all, her head thrown back as she moans: “fuck, that’s so good, keep doing that”

jackie who barely acknowledges you at school or during soccer practice anymore.

she’ll still steal little glances when you’re not watching. but other than that, she ignores your existence entirely, claiming it’s so people won’t ask questions or notice that things are different between you. once, shauna teases her for “sneaking around” and “always disappearing at parties”. ever since jackie makes sure you’ll lie for her too. “if anyone asks” she reminds you. “i wasn’t with you. it’s just…easier this way. understood?”

jackie whose guard is slightly lower than usual after parties.

maybe it’s the alcohol in both of your systems that makes you bolder than usual. either way, jackie often insists on walking you home afterward which always ends in either of your bedrooms. these are the rare occasions where she’ll have you spend the night and doesn’t make you leave. once, she falls asleep on your shoulder and pretends not to remember the next morning. “i don’t know what you’re talking about” she says stubbornly. “we were drunk! last night was…whatever. let’s not make it a thing” you know that she’s lying, but don’t call her out on it as you climb out of her window and sneak around the taylor’s residence. it is only for you to know how sweet jackie looks when drifting off to sleep on your chest.

jackie who sometimes, rarely, does these little things for you that she won’t acknowledge.

you don’t even know if she’s aware that she’s doing them in the first place. she brings you a water bottle after practice, or slips you a piece of gum before a test. “don’t read too much into it” she mumbles, pushing the bottle into your hands and sitting down by your side. “just had an extra one left”

jackie who suggests you grab ice cream on your way from practice and pays for your order no questions asked.

“don’t think this is some kind of date” she mutters as she slides back into the passenger seat, an ice cream cone in her hand. “it’s just too hot out. you looked like you could use the refreshment”. you would love to believe it, but it’s hard when you end up in the backseat anyway, and you can still taste the strawberry flavor on her tongue.

jackie, who treats your interactions like a challenge.

like a test of her self-control. she’ll play with your feelings, see how you react, and then brush it off and pretend it never happened. “relax” she laughs whenever she notices your frustration. “why are you taking this so seriously? you know i don’t like you like that”

jackie, whose mood shifts drastically after a good game.

after winning an important soccer game, jackie is always easier on you. there are rare moments of tenderness between the two of you, especially when one of you scored the winning goal. these are the nights where jackie will actually touch you too, taking her sweet time worshipping your body and giving you the attention you’ve been wanting for all the weeks leading up to this. she’ll finger fuck you deep, panting into your mouth as she slams her index- and middle finger into you. “that’s it” she breathes, grinding down on your thigh simultaneously. “that’s it, cum for me, come on.”

speaking of which: jackie, who throws herself at you after a big win for the team.

after you score the winning goal, jackie impulsively hugs you without thinking, lingering way too long as she inhales your scent and dwells in the sensation of your arms around her. when she realizes, she pulls away quickly, blaming her red cheeks on the exhaustion. "it's called celebration" she scoffs, without you even saying anything to call her out.

jackie, who asks for your help when the finals are right around the corner.

she would've asked shauna, she claims, but apparently, she doesn't get the subject either. it's bullshit, you know that. shauna is better at most subjects than you and jackie combined. but you don't tell her that and instead accept her invitation to go to her place under the guise of studying. obviously, the familiar tension builds instantly as the conversation drifts from biology and into personal territory. her parents are right next door so you have to keep quiet and restraint when she shoves the books and notes from her desk so she can sit on it whilst you stand between her thighs. she kisses you hungrily, hips grinding into the hair that's between you, whispering to you under her breath. "no one can know" she hisses into your ear, her fingers fumbling with her belt. "so don't you dare make any sounds". as always, she brushes it off after riding out her orgasm on your fingers, saying it was just to "get it out of her system"

jackie, who fucks you after a fight over your current situation.

you get into an argument after you confront her about the way she'd been treating you. jackie cuts you off mid-sentence and you hate that you let her. you know she's mostly doing this so she won't have to hear you out on the topic, and still, you let her ravish you. "this doesn't change anything, you hear me?" she mutters, already shoving her hand down your pants as if to fuck the thoughts right out of you. "you shouldn't expect anything different". you cum embarrassingly fast when she starts pumping her fingers into you.

jackie, who has protective tendencies that she'd never admit to.

she would never admit it, but jackie feels a surge of protectiveness whenever she sees someone acting overly friendly with you. she'll never tell you why she's irritated all of a sudden, but her sarcastic comments usually give it away. "wow, guess you'll really hang out with anyone" she scoffs through the phone when you turn her down once. "you must be really desperate". and with that, she hangs up. you should be upset with her. instead, you just grin to yourself as you set the receiver down. jackie is jealous, no matter how hard she tries to deny it.

jackie, who gets uncharacteristically quiet whenever you talk about the future or graduation.

she gets so tense whenever you, or anyone around, brings that up. she never verbalizes her worries, but you get the sense that she doesn't want you to leave for college after the summer. "guess you're finally getting out of you, huh?" she says once. "must be nice"

jackie, who tries to end things with you,

but can't let you go either. she misses a meet-up and doesn't even apologize the next day, then tries to act like it's no big deal. "i had things to do" she claims. "besides, you'll be gone soon anyway. we should get used to this". yet never does. she never gets used to your absence and starts missing you when you're not around. she genuinely starts seeing you in everything: a song that reminds her of you, an expression you use all the time. every time she's with jeff, she pictures you instead. once, she asks him to go down on her just so she can imagine it's you. his mouth isn't half as good as yours. she fakes her orgasm, then rubs herself raw as he sleeps by her side, biting the back of her free hand to stifle her moans.

jackie, who asks to meet you the night before graduation.

"this is the last time," she says, her voice almost trembling as she grinds against you in the back of your car. "for real this time". you eat her out with her legs thrown over your shoulder and she cries out your name when she cums. you pretend not to notice that she's wiping tears from her cheeks when she gets ready for you to drop her off at home. in return, jackie doesn't call you out when she sees you pocketing her golden necklace that she's purposefully left on your backseat. you'll have an excuse to see her again...

౿🐝 — c.ai link

[tvseries-writings]

Fight for us

Maya x Carina x reader

PLOT: A big fire makes the reader worry more about other people than about herself and her pacemaker is not very happy about it, as are her girlfriends.

TW: heart failure, pacemaker

You didn't think the week could get any worse than it was already going then, all of a sudden, you had received a call from Teddy Altman, your cardiologist, alerting you to the fact that it was time to change the batteries in your pacemaker and that the latter was exhibiting some malfunctions that she definitely wanted to check. You sigh, shrugging your shoulders with the intent to shrug off that phone call before sipping your second cup of coffee. And to think that today is your day off and you are already stressed.

“Bambina, that's decaf right?”

Carina walks up to you and kisses you on the lips, biting your lip and looking at you with a look you know very well.

“No, I would definitely say it's not. You know it's not good for you y/n and besides, move that phone; it needs to be at least six inches from the pacemaker.” You sigh, rolling your eyes and shaking your head, but before Carina can scold you again, both yours and her phone ring. That's never a good sign, never.

“Dr. DeLuca”

“Pamedic Y/n”

And if the week had already seemed like crap to you, the words coming out of your boss's mouth only dangerously dash all your hopes for improvement. You and Carina end the call at the same time and then, after a moment of silence, finally finding the courage to speak.

“There's a fire in Fall City’s forest, I've been asked about-”

“Me too,” you say, looking at your girlfriend and voicing the same thought that is haunting both of you.

“Have they called Station 19 yet?”

“I don't know Bella but since they've called all the available workers I think so.”

You exchange a worried look before you decide to pull Carina into a hug.

“She will be fine love, Maya is a fighter and will always come back to us. Let's go save some lives now.”

........................................................…………………..

You are treating a patient's burns when you see Maya enter the tent where both you and Carina are treating patients. You finish bandaging Kelly, the girl in front of you, before quickly running into Maya's arms.

“Woah, hey, I didn't know they called you guys too.” Maya returns the hug, and although your girlfriend smells like soot, you bask in her scent before pulling away when you hear Carina join you.

You hear them talking but you don't really listen to what they're saying; you're tired, your body is telling you to take a break, and your heart, despite the pacemaker, is really acting up at the moment.

“Y/n, are you okay?”

You realize you're rubbing your hand right over the pacemaker only when Carina stops you by locking your wrist.

“Hey, are you-”

Maya is stopped by a sweaty Warren who comes running into the tent.

“Bishop, we need you. The captain wants you with her.”

Maya gives you a look and then an apologetic smile before hurrying off but not without first giving Carina a look that was definitely not aimed at the Italian.

The two of you watch the blonde leave and just as Carina turns to you to speak, a dozen patients are rushed inside and the Italian is forced to put off questions until later.

You turn to Vic and Travis and run toward them.

“Thirty-nine-year-old female, under cardiac arrest two minutes. Performed two rounds of compressions on scene with no results.”

You nod, quickly slipping on another pair of gloves before replacing Vic, performing a new cycle of compressions yourself as Travis connects the patient to the monitors.

“Vic, get the defibrillator ready.”

You shouldn't exert yourself, you know you shouldn't with the pacemaker discharged, but you really have no choice when you have to choose between your life and a patient's. You swore it to yourself when you took this job.

“It's ready.”

Victoria says and you take the pads from her hands. If Carina saw you using it yourself, she would probably kick your ass and a good lecture in Italian; fortunately, she is very busy at the moment. Travis places the electrodes on the patient's body and then, after a glance, places the paddles on her chest.

“Clear!”

You feel the electricity leave the paddles and see the woman's body lying in front of you jerk before falling back onto the gurney. You will never get used to this feeling.

“There's a pulse, call heli-rescue and keep her monitored until it arrives.”

You say entrusting it to the only two free people in front of you who weren't strictly necessary in there, two residents.

You take off your gloves and throw them in the nearest trash can, quickly procuring another pair before moving on to the next patient then, like a bolt out of the blue, you notice Teddy Altman enter the tent and if your day was already sucking, it now gets drastically worse.

The faint hope that Teddy has not come exclusively for you quickly vanishes when the blonde doctor catches up with you with a look that is anything but friendly.

“Heyy Teddy, what's the best heart surgeon in Seattle doing here? Were you so bored at home that you wanted to help us out?”

You smile, cheekily, before turning to a new patient but before you can even ask her what's wrong, besides the obvious second-degree burn on her shoulder, the cardiac surgeon grabs your arm and drags you away, far enough away from prying ears.

“What the hell are you doing here? A woman came into the hospital and said there was a beautiful paramedic who saved her life and pulled her out of her panic attack by talking about her beautiful girls: an Italian doctor and a blond firefighter.”

You mentally curse yourself for being so specific, dammit. You would have saved yourself at firefighter or doctor, damn it, did you have to be so specific?

You open your mouth to speak, looking for any excuse in the meantime, but before you can formulate one, Teddy starts talking again.

“No no, y/n, don't even try. I had made it clear, no efforts until the checkup and then I find you literally on the biggest fire in years performing CPR?!”

The blonde tries to keep a normal tone even though, from the look on her face, she probably wants to strangle you with her own hands.

“Teddy, look, I know we're friends and you're my cardiologist but you have to understand that I'm also doing my job here. I'm a paramedic and I have to take care of other people's health.”

“I understand that y/n but you won't save anyone when your heart collapses and it will if you don't get checked right away. I came here just for you, I had to ask Bailey's permission and don't think Miranda will let you get away with this recklessness of yours.”

You sigh, moving a lock of hair from your face and thinking about the long lecture Miranda Bailey, who is like a mother to you, will give you as soon as your slender body ends up in front of her judgmental eyes. You're screwed.

“Oh come on Teddy, couldn't you have said some shit to her? Besides, aren't you bound by attorney-client privilege?”

“Well, sure. Or at least we are until the patient turns out to be a danger to himself and-”

The cardiac surgeon's tone of voice rises to such an extent that the speech you are giving is heard by people who should not have heard a single word, such as your very protective Italian girlfriend.

“Hey, Bella is everything okay here? Teddy, hi, did they call you too?”

Carina girds your hips protectively and you lean a little into her grip; the fatigue was already starting to set in before Teddy's visit and now it's only getting worse.

“No, they didn't call me too but I'm here for a patient of mine.”

The Italian observes the look the blonde gives you and it doesn't take her long to realize that you are the patient.

“Y/n, why did Teddy come here for you? Is something wrong with the pacemaker?”

You want to talk, really, tell the truth and face her stern look and a long, long lecture about how you don't take care of yourself but all your attention is diverted to a firefighter, you don't recognize him since he's not from Station 19, who runs inside the tent and talks loudly to Chief Ross.

“Chief, Bishop and Herrera are stuck in a circle of fire and we can't get the flames under control.”

Although there is no shortage of noise in the tent, both you and Carina hear those words perfectly and in less than a second run toward the two.

“What the hell do you mean Maya is stuck? Why hasn't she been pulled out already!”

Carina screams, Italian slipping off her tongue as she does every time she is gripped by a strong emotion, and you know that fear is the strongest and most destabilizing of all, along with love.

Your heart beats in your chest so loudly that you think it might as well pull off the pacemaker, the sounds resulting muffled as you cling to Carina's side to try to calm both her and your crazed heart.

“Apparently Lieutenant Bishop found herself trapped in a circle of fire while she and Herrera were trying to rescue a civilian. We managed to get Herrera out but it was too late for Bishop...now we are trying to transport as much water as we can but they are in a spot we can't reach with trucks and-”

“Damn it, get Bishop out of there at the cost of filling buckets and climbing that damn mountain. Is that clear?”

Chief Ross yells and the fireman jerks before nodding and hastily exiting. Then, the woman turns to the two of you.

“I know it's hard but I promise you we will get Maya out of there; she's a fighter, she'll be fine, I've never met a woman as tenacious as she is.”

The thought of not being able to see Maya again makes your heart even heavier than it already was; you and Carina hug each other tightly, the Italian drops a few tears, and you kiss her head repeatedly, the same way Maya does, caressing her back and suppressing the sharp pain in your chest you are feeling.

“Car..what if last night was the last time we saw her? I can't lose her, not Maya, not today, I can't, I can't,” you sob, the weight of what's happening is too much to keep inside and even though you know you should console Carina, the anguish you're feeling won't let you.

“It will be all right, she will be all right, I must be...” Carina wipes away her tears and then looks up at you, “I am pregnant Bella, it worked.”

And for a moment, for just a moment, you forget where you are and Maya's condition, for just a moment you think only of you, her and Maya holding a beautiful baby and you kiss her. You kiss her deeply and with such passion that if you were not in that situation you would already be on the bed. When you pull away, you run a hand over her stomach and gently caress it with a smile on your face.

“Hey little bean, we love you so much already, you don't know how long we've been waiting for you.”

Carina rests her hand on top of yours and her head on your chest. The adrenaline rush that the news caused you fades and the dull but constant pain in your chest returns like a bolt of lightning as does the fear for the life of the other woman in your life, the other mother of your child.

Teddy, who has been standing on the sidelines up to that point, approaches the two of you and gives you a sympathetic smile.

“I'm sure Firefighter Barbie is fine, she's strong and wants to get back to her girls.”

“Thank you Teddy.”

And then, you hear Carina realize again what you were talking about before you were interrupted.

You sigh and close your eyes for a few moments; Carina turns away from you, and when you open them again, you see her looking at you with the same look you've been dreading ever since you got the call.

“I hope you didn't come here knowing you had problems with your pacemaker.”

Your silence is worth more than confirmation for the Italian.

“O MIO DIO, I can't believe it y/n, you're so stubborn and an idiot I ahh non so cosa fare con voi due, sei mille volte peggio di Maya dannazione.”

You don't understand a single word she said but considering the fact that she is gesticulating…well, you are definitely in trouble.

Fortunately, however, even the wrath of an Italian vanishes when your girlfriend's colleague runs up to you and waves you to follow him and that's exactly what you do, temporarily forgetting what you were discussing.

“Jack, is Maya okay?” Carina says and when the firefighter does not turn to look at you, you fear for the worst: “Gibson, is Maya okay? Is she alive? Is she hurt? Damn it Jack! Answer me!” You yell, shoving the fireman until he turns toward you. His gaze gives nothing away and you are literally about to grab him by the throat but then a familiar face appears in your field of vision.

“Hey, I'm sorry to have worried you. I'm okay, I'm fine, I feared for the worst but the guys managed to pull both Andy and me out of there.”

Maya has an oxygen mask on her face and a blanket around her shoulders but except for that, she seems fine and you think you can squeal from relief. You pounce on her and stuff her face with kisses before letting Carina do the same.

“If you worry us like this again, I'll kill you myself, is that clear?”

“Crystal doc” Maya smiles, leaning over to kiss her before kissing you too.

“Fuck you Gibson” you huff, giving him a shove and he smiles, raising his hands as if to defend himself, “hey, I just wanted you to see it for yourself.”

The fireman walks away and leaves you alone; you rest your forehead on the Italian's back while she and Maya discuss what happened and how Andy is doing. You don't really listen to them; the pain in your chest with Jack's little joke has only gotten worse, and your breath shortens as tiny drops of sweat wet your back.

You have experienced this feeling before, when you had your first heart attack more than four years ago. You feel the pulse in your ears, you cannot even tell whether it is high or extremely low; despite your medical knowledge, you are not clear-headed enough at the moment to tell. You gradually lean more and more against the Italian so much that you almost risk dropping her.

“Car, call...call Teddy. Pacemaker” you whisper and then, everything goes dark as you fall to the ground with a thud.

Carina and Maya freeze for a few seconds before springing into action.

“Hey! We need help, help us!” Carina shouts, turning you over on your stomach and checking your heart rate.

“Maya, I'm going to get Teddy don't move from here, check her pulse and don't you dare take off that oxygen mask.”

The firefighter does not even have time to react that the doctor is already running away.

“Come on love, come on, stay with us.”

Maya massages your chest, checking your pulse and trying at the same time to stimulate your pacemaker. Carina returns in less than a minute, falling on her knees next to your body lying on the floor, followed by Vic, Travis and Teddy.

“Maya, give me her heart rate.”

“32 bpm.”

“Damn, her pacemaker stopped working, it's set on 50 bpm. We need to take her to the hospital and change the batteries or the pacemaker if necessary.”

“The fire has blocked the roads, we can only go to Eli-rescue but it left a while ago and will never be back in less than 40 minutes.” Travis says, looking at the doctor.

“You don't have forty minutes, you don't even have ten minutes.”

Teddy shakes his head, rubbing his forehead as he constantly checks your pulse on the monitor Victoria has diligently hooked you up to. Carina takes an oxygen tank and connects it to a mask that she places on your face, stroking your hair and leaving a kiss on your forehead.

“It will be okay Bella, we are here with you, you have to fight for us. Please.”

The Italian doctor's voice cracks and Maya promptly takes her into her arms, also stroking your hair.

“I have an idea but it is dangerous and I don't know if it will work .”

Maya and Carina cast a glance at each other and then nod.

“Do what you have to but bring her back to us, please.”

Teddy pulls out his stethoscope, auscultating your pulse.

“Montgomery, get the defibrillator.”

Carina and Maya stiffen and look at the monitor. Your heart is not beating above 30 bpm and your blood pressure is dangerously low and falling.

“Teddy, what do you want to do.”

Carina's voice trembles as her hand falls instinctively on your stomach; Maya notices but at the moment is more concerned about you than intrigued by her wife's gesture.

“With a jolt the pacemaker should restart and keep her alive until the hospital or at least I hope so, I only did it one other time in Afghanistan.”

“Did the patient survive?”

Teddy pauses, remaining silent for a few seconds as he applies the electrodes to your chest. Then, after a deep sigh, he turns to the two women kneeling over your dying body.

“No, it was too late for him.”

Carina runs a hand through her hair and then, grabs the blond fireman's hand.

“Maya, I need to tell you something I-”

“Clear!”

The Italian freezes, as does Maya's heart as they watch your body jerk and the terrifying flat line noise that is emitted from the monitor immediately after.

“Come on Bella, please.”

Maya removes her mask and leans over your forehead, leaving a kiss on your temple.

“Come on love, you can do it. Come back to us.”

Your heart starts beating again after one round of compressions from Teddy, and Maya and Carina burst into tears from relief praying that helicopter rescue will arrive in time.

..........................................................................

More than six hours pass before your eyes open and an annoying but familiar pain in your chest, just above the pacemaker, lets you know that you are still in the world of the living. Your hand reaches for the mask on your face but before you can pull it off, a hand stops you.

“Hey, no, you have to keep it on a little longer Bella.”

Carina leaves a kiss on your forehead, turning a small smile to you and intertwining your fingers.

“Welcome back love” Maya smiles at you. She still has her oxygen mask on and at the sight, your stomach knots.

“Are you okay? What are your oxygen levels?”

You sit up and reach toward the fireman; your gaze is so concerned that Maya strokes your cheek and grabs your hand to kiss your knuckles.

“I'm fine my love, I'm sorry for worrying the two women of my life, or three ,” the blonde's smile increases as she rests her hand on the Italian's stomach and your worried look is quickly replaced by a smile. “We're going to be moms.”

“The best ones.”

“Yes, although two of these three moms should learn to take better care of themselves. Did you understand y/n? It was stupid to ignore the device that helps your heart beat idiot”

“Yes, it was totally irresponsible of you” Maya nods, agreeing with Carina, before patting your leg lightly.

“Don't ever try something like that again, you are too important to us.”

Carina whispers and you notice she is holding back tears so you reach out and push her toward you, dropping her sitting on your lap.

“Oh and don't think this is the end of it, Bailey can't wait to give you a good talking to.”

“Shit, I'm screwed.”

“Yeah but not by us. No sex for two months after what you did.”

You pout and then playfully shove Maya while Carina taps her hand on her forehead shaking her head with a smile on her face.

You do believe you will be good mothers after all.

Thank you for reading! It's not my best work but lately I feel like everything I write sucks so...well, thanks anyway and have a great day!

Buy me a coffee on ko-fi

Taglist: @wandanatsbaby @bioquake-archives @bioquakeweek @daisyjohnsonx @wandanatsgirlfriend @chaekhan @station19 @resilientpendragon @so-no-kissing-then @thearchpitbullmx @ashadash0904 @kingshitonly @alwaysgoodnight @callistic @xjule @yuleni18 @simpforwandanat @alexxislexi @mrsdanversromanoff @coollemonsaresour @hushed-woodsman @razorscooteer @eponine-xx @maniacallinc @michelle170 @classyig @elenaguarnieri @scarletwidow @tati3001 @cristin-rjd @your-my-mission @mr-nicely @hi-i-1 @anniethurs @ktstwice @scarlet-raccoon @maria-403 @goldfishthegr8 @wandanatfan @looiegirl-blog @bioquake-blog @daisyjohnsonx

[dovveri]

looking for love

bachelorette masterlist - part 2 • part 3 • part 4 • part 5 • part 6 • part 7

synopsis: sana asks y/n to join her on the next season of the bachelorette, undercover. night 1.

w/c: 5.0k

a/n: first fully fledged work! tysm for all the love on the inspo piece 🥹 i was also lowkey winging this as i went again so some names that come up are completely made up and some not so much if i feel strongly abt that person (cough heechul) and so i also have no idea what i wanna do w the characters introduced yet but we’ll see as we go 🤪 hope you enjoy!

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

“i’m going to be the next bachelorette!”

you choke on the overly sweet concoction sana always got whenever you visited this cafe.

“excuse me?”

sana grins and pats your back, swapping the drink in your hand with a much preferred matcha infused espresso that was your go-to. she always insisted on trying each other’s drinks no matter how many times you told her her’s would always be way too sweet and she told you she didn’t care. she needed you to feel what she felt, taste what she tasted.

“i was kinda in a moment of weakness when i applied, i swear i didn’t think i would get in! it was just a silly haha like what if y’know?” she sips on her drink humming in satisfaction.

“no. i don’t know. i’d rather move back in with my parents than go on that show.” you deadpan.

sana whines, “y/n c’moooooooon. jihyo had just left me for that muscly gym rat and i needed some love!”

“do you know how many times we’ve sat on my couch and laughed at that show? like… 19, 20… too many!” you pulled out your fingers to count for emphasis. “besides, all the people that go on there aren’t even there for the right reasons. they’re all just there for their 5 minutes of fame. you won’t find what you’re looking for there sana.”

she pouts, “and what would i be looking for exactly?”

you sigh exasperatedly, “LOVE!”

patrons around the cafe glance at the two of you weirdly before you shrink and whisper-shout, “love sana! you deserve the massive beach house with the dogs and kids and family running around. someone you can go home to and eat with, dance with, laugh with. someone who knows your atrociously sweet coffee order and still gets it for you even though you always get cavities. someone who will force you to go to the dentist and hold your hand while they fill those cavities, and then buy you ice cream after despite their better judgement.”

sana’s smile gets wider and wider as you go on. finally she wraps you in a big hug and squeezes, all giggles and the smell of fresh laundry.

“and that’s exactly why i need you as my bestest bestest friend to come stay with me while i’m on the show!”

“...wait… wait wait wait wait sana, no. what… huh?” you push her backwards holding her by the shoulders shaking slightly trying to get some sense in her.

she giggles, “you heard me! you know everything there is to know about me, plus, because this is the first bachelorette season where there’ll be girls and guys the producers wanted to push as much novelty as possible. so they asked if there was anyone i’d like to bring with me to help in the decision process and of course i said you! pleaseeee? you said it yourself, you know exactly what i’m looking for, i won’t be able to do this without you.” she gave you her best puppy dog eyes, leaning in with a dangerous pout.

fuck it, you were never one to say no to her anyway. at least this way you could make sure whoever she ended up with was someone who deserved her.

you sigh, “fine but you owe me. like big time owe me.”

she squealed gleefully attacking you with kisses and a tight squeeze of her arms. “i love you i love you this is gonna be so much fun!!”

you smile at her antics wrapping your arms around her and hugging, “yeah yeah love you too you idiot.”

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

the next few months are filled with preparation as you’re both briefed on how the show’s going to run, where you’ll be staying, and all the little details. the bachelorette pad was a big villa nestled in the hillsides with incredible views, 2 bedrooms, and a fully equipped kitchen and pool. there were always people there, hair and makeup, costuming, scripting, it was probably as far from reality as reality tv could get. but it also meant you and sana didn’t have to do anything because people helped you move in, prepared all your meals for you, dressed you, gave you talking points, all the showbiz.

finally, opening night came and you were separated from sana to join all the other suitors as an undercover agent. you were to pretend to be one of the people lined up to meet her but you were really there to sus out all the contestants even before they put their television personalities on. to see if anyone was really the real deal.

currently, you were in a limousine with 3 other contestants about to pull up to the bachelor mansion where all the participants would be staying. the three of them would be the first to meet sana and you smile politely as they get off the car one by one looking antsy and nervous.

eventually it was your turn and you stepped out of the car with a practiced smile, adjusting to the brightness of the lighting and beginning your walk down the red carpet. behind you, you can hear your limousine pulling away and another one holding the next batch of contestants pulling in.

your form-fitting white dress trails behind you lightly, heels clacking softly on the red carpet as you catch your first glimpse of sana.

oh my god. she’s wearing a pastel pink flowing dress adorned with pretty pink roses with her midsection exposed showing the smooth planes of skin on her stomach. flower ornaments pin up long brown tresses of hair and pearls dance along her collarbone in a makeshift necklace. she looks positively ethereal.

you catch yourself taking a breath and blushing as she beams when she catches sight of you, eyes widening as she takes you in. you swore you could see a light blush brush her cheeks as well, or it could’ve been the makeup emphasised to match her dress.

“hi.” you’re shy as you approach her.

her eyes snap up to yours, grinning, “hi yourself stranger. c'mere.” she pulls you into a hug and you can sense the cameras zooming in, no doubt a voiceover would be edited in place later explaining who you were and how you two knew each other.

she pulls away but keeps you within arms length looking you up and down again, “y/n! look at you all dressed up for me. didn’t know you had it in you.” she winks and you blush again. she was making you do a lot of that these last few minutes.

“oh please, this is nothing compared to the main character of the night.” sana frowns, she never found your self-deprecating style of compliments particularly engaging. you quickly correct yourself, “but seriously sana, you look incredible. like you seriously just walked out of a princess movie.”

her eyes twinkle with glee as she does a little twirl for you and the thousands of people who would watch this. “well i hope i’ll find my prince or whatever somewhere here tonight.”

you roll your eyes fondly, “speaking of, how were the first 3 contestants? any of them catch your eye?” you get straight into it, the producers had handed you both loose scripts to follow so you both knew how the conversation should go.

“mm, i think it’s still a little early to say, there are still 21 other people to meet after all. but the second girl was pretty, i think her name was miyeon? her energy seemed really bright and it feels like we could get along really well.”

you recall the girl that had seemed the most relaxed out of everyone in your limo. she had introduced herself and tried to make small talk and had given off a generally sweet vibe. you nod your head in agreement, “she seems sweet. i’m happy for you sana.” you smile knowing your time was short on the red carpet, “i’ll leave you to it then. see you inside soon?”

she smiles and her hand drags down your shoulder to hold yours as you walk away, “mhmm don’t have too much fun without me in there. and don’t scare off all my possible options!”

you laugh as your hands naturally part, bringing them up in a shrug and blowing her a kiss for the extra television effect.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

the mansion is impressive, you can’t help but stare in awe as you enter the ceiling high archway into the courtyard where the other contestants would wait for sana. you nod politely again at the people already there, accepting a flute of champagne and trying to make yourself seem as excited and nervous as someone would be in your position.

the first person to move towards you in greeting is miyeon, “hi! y/n right? love the dress by the way. how’d you find meeting sana?”

you were prepared for this, you needed to make sure they didn’t suspect that you knew sana already, you needed to play the part of a lovestruck contestant. “oh my god she’s beautiful! i saw her walking down the red carpet and was just floored, i had to take a second to calm myself before introducing myself.”

miyeon nods in enthusiasm, “right! i’m so glad this season is so much more inclusive than the previous ones. sana’s not only incredibly gorgeous she’s also an icon for bisexuals everywhere now and i really respect her for coming on this show and being brave enough to be that public figure.”

you nod along, you hadn’t seen it that way until now, “oh absolutely! it’s gonna be a bit messy though huh, with a mixed gender pool contestants could end up falling for each other instead, especially with the amount of time we’re going to spend in this house together.”

“i don’t think that’s going to be a problem for me.” miyeon glances around as the next contestant, a tall man in a blue suit walks in, “i’m pretty set on sana after that first impression. god all this waiting is making me insane though, this show definitely isn’t for the jealous.”

you smile internally but a strange pit sits in your stomach after hearing the word jealous. you ignore it, continuing to prod miyeon who seems elated to talk about sana and really does seem like she would be a good match for her. some others join your conversation and soon enough you’re all getting to know one another outside of what your first impressions of sana are.

“oh i model for a couple cosmetic brands here and there. that’s where you may have seen me.” miyeon is very friendly and welcoming and has made herself comfortable amongst the increasing crowd of people.

“oh that’s incredible! you’ll have to tell me which brands later, i work in marketing research so i’m all about that stuff.” a girl in a blue dress you’ve already forgotten the name of replies.

“oh really? where are you based at? i’m in finance over at yeouido.” this time it's a built man in a navy tux with sunnies over his eyes. he seemed pretentious and too much of a flirt for your liking. he was obviously trying to put it on the girl in the blue dress.

“finance huh. figures.” a cool tone interrupts them, a woman with slicked back short hair in an emerald suit rolled up to the sleeves showing off a deadly tattoo array. she’s rolling her eyes and makes no further comment, turning to the man in glasses next to her who looks much too uncomfortable and out of his limits.

he gulps visibly as she turns to him, placing his hand behind his neck nervously as he laughs, “right hahaha…”

she narrows her eyes at him before being clapped on the back by another man with a friendly smile and eye crinkles. definitely sana’s type in men. “don’t scare the poor bloke off now eunji.” the australian accent surprises you, “ignore her mate, she’s all tough on the outside but she’s a real softy once you get to know her.” he holds out a hand for the guy in the glasses to shake.

he smiles gratefully and takes it, “thankyou…?”

“jacky.”

“thankyou jacky. i’m wonsik.”

the girl in the emerald suit rolls her eyes and scoffs, “whatever jacky, any man who’s too scared to sit next to a woman that looks a little off norm is only looking for someone soft that they can dominate to fuel their tiny man egos.”

you can’t help the scoff you release as her piercing gaze turns to you, raising an eyebrow.

“sorry, sorry, i didn’t mean to eavesdrop. i just thought that comment was funny. and true. i’m y/n by the way.”

eunji regards you before grinning, “eunji. this knucklehead is jacky. we met while i was on exchange in australia and he stalked me back here once he heard i was going on this.”

“stalked is an exaggeration. most of my family already lives here, and now that i’m back, i’d like to have someone to share the rest of my life with. someone who’s not eunji.” he grins. “and jeeeeeeez sana would be a pretty good someone for that.”

you smile in response, “oh absolutely-” but you’re interrupted halfway through as you see the last contestant walk through the door.

dark hair, oozing confidence, lightly tanned skin and a slight smirk on her face, park jihyo, the reason for sana being here, just entered the arena.

beside you jacky whistles, “now that’s competition.”

you can’t help but worry over sana immediately. did she know jihyo would be here? how was their meeting on the red carpet? what was jihyo doing here in the first place?

but then you realise jihyo is the one person that would blow your cover and she was headed straight for you. you quickly scramble up from your seat, trying to be as discreet as possible, muttering a quick “sorry bathroom, nice meeting you all.” and turn away from your group heading towards the bathrooms, intending to find a producer and figure out just what the hell was going on.

however, before you succeed, loud applause is heard behind you followed by a couple wolf whistles and catcalls. shit. jihyo was the last person to walk in. meaning sana would be coming in now and the real show would begin.

you slip back towards the crowd keeping an eye out for jihyo as you find a place towards the back shooting a quick smile at wonsik who stands next to you. the mc for the season is making some introductory comments that you can’t really be bothered to hear and you bring your attention to sana who again, takes your breath away. but you force yourself to concentrate, noticing the slightly abnormal flush on her cheeks and the fiddling fingers she hides in the folds of her dress. you frown, seeing jihyo must have been a surprise for her too then.

“-aaand here’s your bachelorette for the 2024 season!” the mc pans to sana with the camera who waves shyly and offers a smile. you wish you were there to hold her hand and calm her or talk to her but you resign yourself to gripping the fur of your coat tightly.

sana turns to you and the contestants and you try desperately to meet her eye, “hey everyone, it’s nice to finally see you all together! this place is incredible, i almost wish i could move in with you all. you guys having a good time yet?”

“better now that you're here!” a man from the crowd yells out followed by a couple chuckles.

sana giggles, “awwh thankyou jun.” sana was doing better than you at remembering these names already. “so as you guys probably know, tonight is our first night together. and with that, comes the first impression rose.” a cinematic reveal of the pink rose settled on top of the 18 red roses as the contestants shuffle to get a peek, ooh-ing and ahh-ing. “you’ll all get chances to talk to me throughout the night, and i’ll pick someone at the end of it to give this first impression rose who’ll get the first date of the season with me. unfortunately, i’ll also have to say goodbye to 5 of you if you don’t get any roses at all. and i reeeeally wish i didn’t have to because you’ve all seemed so lovely and i can’t wait to get to know you all!”

the mc steps in now, “and with that, let the night begin!” party poppers explode and music starts playing creating an ambience similar to a bar. sana hasn’t seemed to have spotted you yet and moves towards the closest cluster of people to her, smiling and greeting everyone.

very quickly though, someone has already stepped in and asked to take her away for a chat. it's one of the girls in a dark suit with sleek makeup and hair tied up in a high ponytail. you had been instructed not to talk to sana until she came to you so you could only watch on helplessly with the 23 other contestants vying for her attention. you needed to make sure she was okay after seeing jihyo and where her mindset was at. you also needed to avoid jihyo so she doesn’t alert the rest of the contestants to your relationship with sana.

so you stalk over to one of the camera producers who looks only a little frightened at the glare in your eyes.

“what the fuck is park jihyo doing here?”

“um i-i i’m only a camera person! sorry i d-don’t know you’ll have to ask one of the higher ups.”

you raise an eyebrow.

“r-right! i’ll get one of them now…” he grabs his phone and calls someone, glancing nervously around to see if anyone has noticed the two of you. soon enough, a short, stubby man with a beard comes over and whispers, “what?!”

“park jihyo. sana’s ex. i’m sure you would’ve known that when you did the background checks. what is she doing here?”

“sweetheart of course we knew. she’s here for the extra drama. this is television we’re making here. no one’s going to watch it if its not entertaining.” he rolls his eyes and impatiently taps his foot.

“at the expense of your main product’s feelings?” you spit the word product out, hating that this was the way sana was being treated.

“please, sana signed a contract. she knew what she was getting into when she signed up for this show. this is all show business sweetie now if you don’t mind we gotta get back to running it so we can all get paid and go home alright?” he doesn’t leave room for a response as he quickly ushers the poor cameraman away and you’re left seething.

un fucking believable. it’s fine. sana could just not choose jihyo tonight and she could be sent on her merry way. it’ll be fine. so long as sana didn’t actually still have feelings for jihyo… fuck, you just needed to talk to sana to clear things up and make sure she wasn’t being pressured into doing anything she didn’t want to do.

your mind was going a million miles an hour as you headed back towards the other contestants, taking careful note to avoid the group jihyo was currently talking to.

“hey y/n, got a chance to talk to sana yet?” its eunji and you’re grateful for the distraction.

“not yet, i’m thinking to just let the crows have her first, not really into getting on anyone’s bad side tonight.”

“fair enough. you shoulda seen this one guy’s face when jiwon interrupted his time. he was all like-“ she pulls a face that makes her look constipated and you can’t help but laugh, recalling jiwon as the woman in an elegant dark maroon dress who worked as a nurse.

“how about you? steal her away yet?”

“nah not yet but because jacky and i kinda came in a package set he said he’ll bring her to me after he’s had a chat with her.” she looks over her shoulder, “speaking of…”

you see sana and jacky approaching, jacky gesturing something to make her laugh and doing what looked like an impression of a fish out of water.

“-he was really sick! like full vomitting, left her on her own in this completely foreign place to go puke his guts out in the toilets!”

sana was laughing giddily at jacky’s story, unaware that they had just stopped in front of the two of you.

jacky grins, “so remember how i was telling you about that scrawny little girl i met in the tunnel underneath my school trying to build a bomb…”

your eyebrow raises as you look alarmingly at eunji who avoids your gaze with a blush on her cheeks, punching jacky lightly in the shoulder, “how many times have i told you not to tell that story. it was just a mini explosive and it was for a science experiment! you’d know if you didn’t spend all our classes texting that one girl… what was her name again…? p…p something?”

its jacky’s turn to blush as he quickly interjects in protest. sana giggles and looks betwen them, “some competition for me then?”

jacky stumbles, “n-no! not at all don’t worry sana she’s like waaaay back in the past and also waaaay far away in sydney my eyes are only for you i swear!”

sana laughs again, “well that’s good to know. wouldn’t want you to be here if you were still in love with someone else back home.” she turns to eunji, her eyes briefly meeting yours with a twinkle and your heart stutters at the morsel of attention. “eunji right? you’ll have to tell me your side of this story because i don’t think jacky has done you justice.”

eunji slips back into her cool persona offering a tattooed arm out for sana to link, “of course sana.”

sana looks back at you though with a promise, “and i’ll come find you after this y/n so don’t go running anywhere yeah?”

you nod dumbly as you watch your best friend be taken away again, trying to figure out why you wished it was you leading her away and not eunji.

jacky whistles to get your attention, “jealous much? and after she practically promised to see you next which is a lot better than what some of these people are getting. poor wonsik has been beaten every time he’s tried to ask her out.”

you sputter, “j-jealous? what?” you weren’t jealous, you were just concerned for your friend. you wanted the best for her and not many people fit that bill.

“it’s not anything to be embarassed about mate don’t worry. i feel weird as well handing the girl i’m trying to date over to one of my best friends who’s also trying to date her. it’s pretty messed up in here but we’re all in it together right?” he grins and you find yourself feeling slightly guilty because you were not in fact, all in this together, you were there to judge all of these people who you had originally thought to be shallow fame-chasers but maybe there was a little more to them then you thought.

you smile anyway remembering the role you’re playing, “right, thanks jacky, you’re a good guy.”

“awwwwh don’t flatter me, eunji needs to come back before my ego grows too big.”

you laugh and enjoy your conversation with him while walking to join a larger group of people.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

it’s a while before sana finds you again, some others seemed to have jumped in after eunji so by the time she gets to you, its near the end of the night already.

“you been hiding from me or something y/n?”

you stand up with a stretch, taking her hand in yours and leading her away with a teasing smile, “i’d accuse you of that actually. i thought you’d come to find me right after you were done with eunji?”

sana gasps, “oh shit y/n i totally forgot i’m so sorry! eunji was just telling me all this cool stuff that she’s done and places she’s been and then people kept coming to ‘queue’ me and it just completely slipped my mind and i-“

you laugh, “i’m just joking sana i know it’s pretty crazy in here even with all the prep we’ve done for it. as long as you’re having fun then i’m happy.”

she squeezes your hand in response as you reach a small clearing with a hammock-like seat and you both sit down, fingers still interlocked.

“sooooo princess sana, which suitor has caught your attention tonight?” you put on a fake posh accent.

sana laughs and slaps you playfully, “stop that silly, it’s been great though! i think i have an idea who i wanna give the first impression rose to but it's so hard to think of people to get rid of, i don’t want anyone to go before they’ve even had a chance here yet.”

“reeeeally… you can’t think of a single person to get rid of yet…?”

she rolls her eyes, “i’m fine don’t worry y/n. jihyo… surprised me being here but we talked a little on the carpet and she said she made a mistake when she left. she really wants to be with me again y/n.”

your hands tighten against sana’s, “and what about you? how do you feel about her being back?”

“well… it’s definitely not the way i thought i’d see her again. but… i’m not sure… i… there’s so much history between us and… well she was the first person i loved y/n. you know that. it’s hard to turn that away.”

you hum. jihyo wasn’t sana’s first partner but she was the first person sana could say i love you to. and she treated sana well, everything seemed fine, sana thought they were going to get married. the breakup came out of nowhere and left sana devastated for months. you thought jihyo was a nice enough person but it was hard to think of her in a positive light when she left the person you cared about most completely broken and in pieces left for you to pick up. the last thing you wanted was for sana to go through that all over again.

“you disapprove.” sana looks at you knowingly.

you purse your lips, “she hurt you sana. really fucking bad. i can’t bear to see someone who’s caused you so much pain smiling as if none of that happened, as if those months of you starving yourself, hurting yourself didn’t happen because of her.”

sana frowns, unclenching your hands that you didn’t realise were wound up so tightly. “baby… i’m stronger now for it aren’t i? you helped me become myself again and i became better for it. and you’ll be here with me every step of the way to make sure it doesn’t happen again. so you can put your little micromanaging overprotective guard dog personality to use.” she teases trying to lighten the mood, “now c’mon, let's move on from this, surely you have people you like and dislike already. lemme hear them.”

you sigh bringing your head to rest on her shoulder, “well you seemed to get along with eunji and jacky. i like the both of them, they’re fun. miyeon is also a sweetheart and you were right when you said you think the two of you could get along. she reminds me of you in a lotta ways, it's kinda scary.”

sana giggles next to you.

“mm some of the guys i didn’t like. there’s this one guy heechul i think, he is like 100% a simp for japanese women. and like, in a creepy body pillow way. this poor girl momo, who also seems really sweet by the way, maybe just a little shy, was being harassed the entire night by him anytime you weren’t looking his way. i also overheard him showing off to some of the guys about how he got a minor’s phone number by offering to teach her korean. one of the guys obviously put him down for it, which is like the bare minimum i guess, that was sunwoo, but some others egged him on talking about some incel reddit shit and how they’re glad all the women here are thin and pale. eugh, even talking about this makes me cringe. if it were up to me, i’d say there’s actually too many roses on that platter tonight.”

you can feel sana’s laughs in her throat, hearty and high. “well yeah but you also like, hate most men so it wouldn’t be too challenging.”

you look at her with a pout, “not all men! jacky was nice! and i’m sure there’ll be other decent guys here too that i can approve of. and if not, well… it’s their fault for being so gross and men-like.”

you love the way her laugh twinkles with the night sky. you can’t get over just how beautiful she looks tonight. and you catch yourself wondering just when you started describing sana with the word beautiful in your head. eugh. this was all jacky’s fault, you’d gone too deep into your role as a contestant for sana’s attention. you just needed this night to end and the big reveal that you were actually sana’s best friend sent to spy on the contestants to see how they acted in their natural habitats. then you could go back to being just that, sana’s best friend.

you can see in the corner of your eye producers signalling the two of you to head back to the others. you were almost inclined to ignore them just to spend a few more minutes with sana but she had already seen them and was gathering her dress ready to stand up.

she reaches a hand out to you, “c’mon, let’s head back. got announcements to make and people to cut.”

you smile, taking her hand gratefully and lifting yourself up. you hope the rest of the season goes a little smoother than tonight had gone, but the value of entertainment may impede on that.

[lovelybucky1]

trailer trash!anakin

this au was a joint effort with my bff @fuckmyskywalker 🫶🫶🫶

warnings: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, alcohol consumption, smoking, mentions of drug use, age gaps, unprotected sex, mentions of pregnancy, anakin is objectively a bad person in this, 18+ minors DNI

masterlist

Anakin and Padme divorced many years ago because he was a deadbeat father, an alcoholic, and she suspected him of an affair. Little did she know, it wasn't just one affair.

Anakin has three kids who are now all adults. He has an older daughter who's just like her mother and has no patience for her dad's bullshit, and a set of twins, a boy and a girl. His son has his temper, much to his mother's dismay, and his younger daughter is his little princess.

Padme and the kids stayed in the house, so he had to move to a trailer park across town. Padme always did all of the housework, which was part of the reason for the divorce, so Anakin's place is always a wreck.

There's beer cans and cigarette butts everywhere, laundry on the floor, dishes piled in the sink, playing cards scattered around. They're not all his, some of the mess can be attributed to his buddies he invites over on the weekends, but either way, he makes no effort to clean it up.

Since his wife, Anakin hasn't dated. He's brought home plenty of girls, all significantly younger than he is. Any time he's asked about it, he explains that he just prefers younger girls. He and Padme were only 19 when they got together, so he's used to being with a younger woman.

Anakin is in his forties now, but he doesn't act his age. He has a job at the mechanic's shop and he does what minimal dad duties are required of him, though now that his kids are adults, he isn't needed as much. In his free time, he gets drunk and high with his friends, goes to strip clubs, and gambles his money away.

You're a waitress at the diner near the trailer park. Anakin is a regular, though your coworkers told you he only comes in when you're working. He usually orders a cup of coffee and sits at the counter where he can flirt with you every time you walk by.

He's told you a lot about himself; you know what kind of guy he is. Borderline alcoholic, irresponsible, unfaithful. Maybe you should've listened to your parents when they told you to stay away from older guys because you've found yourself charmed by him.

Anakin showers you in compliments, especially when you wear your hair in pigtails. He tips generously even though you know he doesn't have much extra money to spare. He asks about your day and he really seems like he cares.

He knows you don't have a car and one day, when your shift was about to end, he offered you a ride home. You agreed like the naïve little thing you are and got into the passenger seat of his shitbox car. He asked if you wanted to stop at his place for a bit before he took you home. Said he had beer and he could scrape together something a bit sweeter for you if you'd prefer.

The two of you flipped through the stations on his TV until you found something good, but you didn't get to watch it for long. After the second commercial break, Anakin pulled you into his lap and grabbed at your ass greedily. You giggled and slapped at his chest playfully, and though he returned your smile, you could see the hunger in his eyes.

Anakin told you he's been obsessed with you since he first saw you. Said you're the prettiest thing he's ever laid eyes on. Said you make him feel young again. That's the kind of sweet talk that gets him all the girls that don't know better.

He drags you to the bedroom and he kisses you dizzy so you don't notice how the fitted sheet is pulled up over the corner of the mattress or the Baywatch poster on the wall. He gets on his back and sits you on top of him, ever the lazy bastard. He wants you to put on a show for him to watch eagerly like you're his personal porn star.

Your tight cunt grips him perfectly and your tits bouncing in his face mesmerize him. He loves how you're so eager to give yourself up to him. Loves that you're inexperienced enough that every tough feels electric. Loves that you're dumb enough that his promise to pull out is enough.

When you're finished, he holds you in his arms against his bare chest while he smokes. When he looks in your eyes, he knows he has you. You're gonna move in and make this place a home, you'll get pregnant and he'll promise to marry you once he has enough money for a ring. Maybe this time he'll stick around, but Anakin's never been good at breaking cycles.

[samandcolbyownme]

OMG HIIII!!! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! I JUST TURNED 19 AND WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD DO LIKE A VAMPIRE JAKE WEBBER SMUT? If not that's okay (I lov your stuff! )

I’m a few days late but - Happy birthday babe! Have a wonderful day! 🖤🎂

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, vampire!Jake, mentions of alcohol, being drunk, mentions of blood, blood drinking, compulsion, flirting, kissing, semi rough actions, hair pulling, choking, unprotected sex, general filth

Word Count: 1.9k | unedited

Balloons littered the ceiling, and confetti mirror them on the floor.

Bodies bumped against one another as they danced to celebrate your special day in a club your close friends rented out.

“How’s the birthday girl?” Caylee yells as she runs up to you, “Having fun?”

You finish off your drink and nod, “Best. Birthday. Ever!” You wrap your arm around her waist as you make your way up to the bartender, “Can I get-“

“Another bay breeze?” He asks, giving you a smirk and you smile, biting down onto your lip as you nod, “Yes, please.”

He nods, “Coming right up.”

You hear your friends whispering loudly behind you, so you turn, “What are we whispering so loud about?” You laugh, looking around in the direction that they’re looking.

“Who invited the vampire?” Caylee asks with a giggle, “Doesn’t he look like something out of, I don’t know, twilight or something?”

“Vampires aren’t real, Cay.” Your other friend laughs and Caylee finishes her drink as you look at her, “Who are we talking about.”

“Okay. Okay.” She laughs, setting her empty glass down, “Through the crowd, standing against the wall. Dark hair, white open button down, black leather jacket.”

You give it a few more seconds, looking through the crowd, and as soon as your eyes set on him, it’s almost like something takes over you.

“You know you could stay.” You smile up at him as he stands up from the bed to get dressed, “You don’t have to leave so soon.”

He bends down, pressing a kiss to your forehead before leaning back to look into your eyes, “I wish I could, sweetheart. But you won’t remember this until you see me again.”

You nod, and within a blink of an eye, you’re alone in your room.

“Hey.” Caylee shakes you slightly, “Where’d you go?”

You take a deep breath, looking between her and your other friends, “I invited him.”

“Who is it?” Caylee asks as she grabs her glass that’s now full again, “Did you hook up with him? How do you know him?”

You keep your eyes on him as you push through your group of girlfriends, walking over to him with a smile, “Thanks for coming to my party, Jake.”

“You remembered my name?” He turns his head towards you as it still rests against the wall, “Had to come show the birthday girl some love.”

You lean against the wall, smiling as you look down and back up at him, “I didn’t think you’d remember.”

“I didn’t think you’d remember, either.” He smirks, turning his body towards you, “Having fun?”

You nod, “I am, but what didn’t you think I’d remember? As soon as I looked at you I was taken back to when I told you to stay and you said you wish you could, but couldn’t.” You tilt your head, “What happened?”

He chuckles, taking a sip of his dark colored drink, “Stuff you wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.” You bite your lip and Jake shakes his head, “You don’t want to do this. Not here, not now.”

“Why?” You whine slightly, and Jake shrugs, motioning to the crowd of people, “Because all of the focus is on you. You’re the birthday girl, after all, right?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t-“

Jake cuts you off, “Go have fun. Find me later.”

And you do as he says, no if, and’s, or but’s about it.

You spent the next two hours dancing with your friends, eating cupcakes and just having fun, just like Jake said.

Eventually, he caught your eye and your focus was set on him, but you were intercepted by Caylee, “You need to tell me who that guy is!”

“Someone I hooked up with a few days ago.”

Her mouth drops, “Excuse me.” She can’t help but laugh, “You hooked up with that and didn’t bother to tell any of us? Girl, I-“ she raises her brows, “He’s hot.”

“You literally called him a vampire from twilight.” You laugh, your gaze averting to him once again.

Caylee laughs, “I never said I didn’t find him attractive.” She shrugs, downing her drink, “You’re the birthday girl, just be safe.”

You roll your eyes, smiling at Jake as you walk up to him, “Sorry. Birthday girl duties.”

“Did you have fun?” He smiles as he sips on his drink and you nod, “Yeah, but I think we can have a little more if you want.”

“Bold.” He chuckles and you shrug, “I know what I want.”

He tilts his head, “Follow me.” He extends his hand out and you immediately take it, allowing him to guide you through the club and to one of the back storage rooms.

“We’re doing this here?” You question as you press your back against the wall, eyes scanning up the racks with supplies.

“Just-“ Jake presses you into the wall harder, eyes glued to yours, “Can I taste you?”

You nod and within the dim lights of the closet, you see his eyes, change? You weren’t sure, but before you could react, “Don’t scream.”

His lips are on your neck and you let out a light moan, but that quickly turns into a piercing, sharp sting as his fangs sink into your skin.

Everything in you wants to scream, but you can’t.

Jake groans against your neck, pushing his hips against yours as he lifts his head to drag his tongue over the marks, “Delicious.”

You felt lightheaded, dizzy. You tilt your head back, resting ur against the wall as you look up at him, “You.. just..”

“Drank your blood?” Jake raises his brow and smirks as you nod. He licks his lips, “Yeah, I kinda only want yours now.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, “Wait..wait..”

You feel Jake’s fingers in your chin, “Look at me.”

You open your eyes and look up at him as your breathing grows more rapid, “The only time I compelled you was when I needed a drink and when I left your apartment that night.” He pauses, “Everything else was you.”

“But- I-I do-“ you stammer, trying to figure out what you want to say, but you’re baffled.

“Just…” Jake slides his hands down your arms, bringing your hands to cup his cheeks, “I promise, no more compulsion. I’ll-“ he takes a deep breath, resting his forehead against yours, “I’ll you everything you want to know.”

You swallow, “I want you.”

Jake’s lips were on yours, hands squeezing your hips as he lifts you up with such ease. Your back is pressed against the wall and he pulling your dress up to pool around your waist, “I don’t want to hurt you, that’s not why I’m here.”

His lips trail down your neck and you let out a sigh, “So you just want to fuck?”

He leans back, shaking his head, “I am yours to do whatever you want with. I’m captivated by everything that makes you, you.”

Your heart starts pounding with his words and you nod, pulling him in for another heated make out.

He reaches down undoing his jeans and you push his jacket off his shoulders, gasping when you see the white, blood stained shirt underneath.

“Don’t worry about that right now.” Jake assures as he sets you down, “Turn around.”

You turn to face the wall, ass pushes out towards him as your cheek rests against the wall by your hands.

Jake leans in, his voice in a low whisper, “Gotta make this quick, can’t keep the birthday girl, too long.”

You moan out as you feel him move your panties to the side before he his cock slip in between your folds and into you fully. He groans lowly, “You have no idea how often I kept thinking about you.”

He pulls out slowly, only to thrust back in hard, “Wanting to be the only one who makes you feel this good.” He reaches up to brush hair from your face, “Wanting to be the only one who can make you happy. Make you smile. Laugh, fuck.”

You claw at the wall, moaning louder and louder at his words and thrusts. You push your ass back, head tilting back as his hand wraps around your hair, “J-Jake.” You whimper, “I-I’m so close.”

“Already?” He chuckles lowly, “Must mean I’m doing a good job, yeah?”

“Y-yes. Yes, fuck, Jake.” You whine, eyes rolling back as he tugs your head back by your hair, “Cum for me, y/n.”

Your walls pulsate around him, earning groan after groan from his lips, “That’s it.. just like that, baby. Doin’ so good for me.”

You bite down on your lip to try and muffle your moans but Jake reaches up, pulling your lip from in between your teeth, “Mm, not gonna work, baby. I want to hear you.”

You groan, using your hands to push your body off the wall and back towards him, “fuck, fuckfuckfuck.”

“Not much longer baby, c’mon.” Jake groans, head resting against yours, “I know you’re almost there. You can do it, cum for me. Cum on my cock.”

Loud, whiney moans leave your lips in a string, one right after another as you cum, “Shit, Jake. Yesyesyesyes.”

You feel Jake’s cock twitching inside of you and you moan, your forehead resting against the wall as Jake’s grip on your hair lets up.

He steps back, reaching down to pull your panties back over your filled cunt, “You alright, sweetheart?”

You nod, spinning around with your head still against the wall, “Yeah.” You nod, “I’m glad you came back for me.” You laugh slightly and Jake smiles, “I’m obsessed with you, what can I say?”

You pull your dress down and stand up straight, “How soon will these marks go away? I don’t know what I’d tell my friends.”

“Do you want them healed?” Jake raises his brows and you nod, giving him a shrug, “I mean, it would be nice.”

Jake brings his wrist to his mouth and bites, “Here. Just drink some of this. It’ll heal the wounds, rather fast actually.” He chuckles and you give him a weird look, “Are you sure?”

“Been around for a while, babe. I promise. I’m not here to hurt you.”

You sigh, reaching up to hold his wrist against your mouth. Your lips attach to his skin and you wince, mainly at the thought of what you were currently in the middle of doing.

Jake brushes hair from your face and pulls his wrist away, “Let me see.” He brushes hair from your neck and nods, “Do you feel that?”

“Feel what? The pain going away?” You look up at him and he nods, “Exactly.”

You smirk, “Thank you, I, um-“

“Don’t. This is all new, but promise, I’ll hold your hand every step of the way.” He smirks and nods towards the door, “Come on. Let’s go party.”

You lay your hand in his and he stops you from opening the door, “One thing..”

“What’s that?” You turn towards him and he sighs, “Just don’t.. um, die for a few days.”

You blink and shake your head, “I mean, I don’t plan on it, but can I ask why?”

Jake chuckles, “If you die with vampire blood in your system, you’ll come back as one.”

“Good to know.” You laugh, “I’ll try my best.” Jake smiles and nods and you open the door, “I want to introduce you to my friends, they asked me earlier, who invited the vampire.”

——

I hope you liked this, Jake as a vampire is HOT! Let me know what you thought! I love you all, thank you so much for reading. See you in the next one! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[sweetnotshort]

INVISBLE STRING PT 2

pairing: stranger!matt x reader

summary : in which you and Matt had met as kids on a vacation, but lived too far away from each other. But some string pulled you together later on in life .

warnings : underage drinking

part 1.

└────────────────────┘

⤑ summer 2022

“I’m so happy you agreed to come to this party with me, I can’t deal with these fake influencers alone.” Isabel laughed while straightening my hair.

“You know I’d never miss a chance to go to a party. Plus who knows maybe I’ll find a mega hottie.” I replied causing us both to giggle.

I applied lipgloss before shoving it into my bag and going to pick out an outfit.

“What happened to that guy in your comments, matt isn’t it? He might be there tonight.” She gave me a knowing look while strapping her heels.

“Wait really?” My head whipped over into her direction.

“I think he and his brothers were invited, maybe you two will hit it off.”

“Don’t be crazy belly, he’s like famous now.”

Ultimately I decided on a black lacy mini shirt, and black tube top paired with black heels.

“So how do I look.” I asked belly shoving my belongings in my bag.

“Holy shit you look hot.” I giggled and pulled out my phone.

“Ok our ubers like here so we should go.”

ׂ╰┈➤

We’d arrived at the party about an hour ago and drinks were already flowing, music was blaring and chatter filled everyone’s ear.

“Bells I’ll be back I’m going to refill my drink.” I yelled to her over the music before making my way over to the drink station.

“Now what type of drink is that?” I heard someone say to my behind me.

“Acid in a cup-“ I giggled and turned around to face whoever was talking to me.

“Matt?!” My eyes practically popped out of my head when I saw the brunette boy infront of me.

“Hi Y/N.” His smile was as bright as I remember, blue eyes like glaciers, the only thing that changed was his now brunette hair was blonde.

“You look..wow. Like respectfully really hot.” My mouth spoke before my mind, but that happens every time i’m intoxicated.

“I could say the same thing about you.” He smirked down at me.

He looked around before setting on me again.

“Wanna go outside, there’s a fire and it’s way less stuffy.” He finished with a laugh.

The rest of the night I had spent my time with Matt. There was never a moment where we weren’t by each other’s sides.

“So you really don’t drink?” I questioned taking a swig of water.

“18 almost 19 years sober.” He winked at me.

“Y/N I really need to go home.” bells exclaimed grabbing my arm.

“Oh um ok, sorry matt I have to go.”

I gave him a saddening look before I was pulled away by my friend.

“Wait!” I felt a hand on now my other wrist causing me to stop.

“Can I get your number before you disappear for another 15 years.” Matt quickly pulled out his phone.

I bit back a smile while nodding, typing my number into his phone.

ׂ╰┈➤

⤑ summer 2023

“Happy one year Matty!” I exclaimed entering his room a big smile placed on my face.

“How are you so energetic in the morning.” He groaned and pulled me down to lay with him.

“Matt it’s 11:30.” I giggled and brushed stray hairs out of his face.

He sighed while just staring at me.

“What’s are your mind?” I questioned running my fingers through his hair.

“I think I’m ready..” My eyebrows furrowed,

“For the day? Matt i’m a little con-

“No, no. I’m ready to announce us. I know it took a long time but I think no I know I’m-

I cut him off my placing my lips on his gently.

“I love you Matt.”

“I love you my girl.”

matthewsturniolo

liked by yourusername and 734,209 others

matthewsturniolo happy 1 year to my first kiss, the girl that’s my other half, she’s the funniest, most caring and gorgeous girl. thankful for that invisible string that brought us back together,

…view comments

yourusername im not crying you are

matthewsturniolo i can confirm she is crying

user omggg we all called ittt

nicolassturniolo we like y/n more than you matt

user my parents

user she’s probably using him

user if she was using him they wouldn’t have been together for a year…

└────────────────────┘

ok so this is the last part, i wasn’t even gonna make a pt 2 but after all the requests i decided too

thank you all so much for the support on invisible string, i never expected any of it. i didn’t even think it was that good so all the support really meant a lot

i hope you guys like this

[delusional-dinosaurr]

We're Moving Too Fast...Aren't We? (Guro Reiten x Reader)

You're enjoying a night out, on a rooftop bar with a few other WSL clubs, and your own team, Arsenal. It was WSL tradition to throw a big party in London for the end of season, usually this is only the major clubs as the others struggle to get to grips with near relegation. Today's team attendees were yourselves at Arsenal, Chelsea, Spurs, The Manchesters and Villa. 

"Come ooooon Y/N it's time to dance" Your mate Victoria Pelova slurs at you. You approach her and steady her with your arms. 

"Think that's enough to drink now Vic, don't want you vomiting over the carpet in our house" You smile, helping her find a chair and some water, Viv takes over on 'motherly duties' so you can walk away and be with the others. 

"Going on the pull tonight Y/N?" Alex Scott nudges your side. She always gets an invite alongside many other retired players, a lot are still very close friends with the teams they played for. 

"Nah, you know that's not my thing anymore" You wink at her. 

"Y/N I've seen you kissing multiple girls on the same night, why not here!" Leah nudges you. 

"I don't like to mix business with pleasure" you joke, asking the bartender for another glass. “For the record, that was a joke. I’m not like that anymore, I’ve matured from the partygirl I was when I was 19! Magda helped a lot with that”.

"Well at least flirt around a bit, it's always fun to watch how quickly you work your magic" Leah says, convincingly. 

"If you need tips on how to pull you could've just asked Lee" You tease. "but fine, I'll do it, what harm can it do". 

"Okay challenge for tonight, a Chelsea girl" Alex wiggles her eyebrows at you, both you and Leah visibly shudder at the word 'Chelsea'. 

"For one night fine, but mark my words, you'll never find me dating or sleeping with a Chelsea girl" You shake your head walking over to the dancefloor drink in hand. 

You dance with a few of your friends, one of those being Magda, even if she is still Chelsea through and through she was like a mother figure to you during your loan spell at Linköpings when you were much younger. She sees you glancing around and stops you with her hand on your chest, letting out what seemed to be a sigh.

"Y/N... Really? I thought you grew out of this during your year in Sweden with me" She smacks your shoulder.

"It's for Leah's entertainment,and for a bet… and it's a Chelsea girl" You shudder again, making Magda laugh and nudge you.

"Well here's some advice. They don't like the gunners and wouldn't want to flirt with one, but I've heard Guro, Niamh and Jessie all say something somewhat nice about you" She sighs, gesturing over to the girls.

"It's only some flirting to show Leah I'm better at flirting than her" You offer a small smile "Promise I won't be sleeping around or trying to get with one of them" she holds out her pinky, which you interlock yours with hers.

You dance over to the Chelsea girls and greet them somewhat politely, getting hugs from all three.

"You guys had an insane season, congratulations" You hold your drink up to them, which they do in response as you all sip your drinks.

"So what brings you over here?" Jessie elbows you.

"My girls are boring or waaaaay too drunk to be dancing with me" you chuckle, sliding up a bit closer to the group.

“Reckon you’ll ever play for us Y/N?” Niamh smirks at you cheekily.

“Absolutely not, you won't catch me dead in a Chelsea shirt” You grimace, causing the three girls to laugh at your response. “Now what about you guys wearing a Y/L/N shirt to an Arsenal match one day in support of the better team?”.

“Not a chance” Guro says, rolling her eyes.

“I bet I can get you wearing an Arsenal shirt to one of my matches by the end of this year, in support of me” You smirk at Guro. Jessie and Niamh seem to be deep in another conversation with Magda and Pernille to the side, leaving you to work your magic like you told your friends you would do.

“It’s so on, if you fail, you can wear a Reiten shirt at one of our matches, I’ll get you front row seats so you can admire the view” She winks holding out her hand which you shake, sealing your bet.

“Oh believe me I am enjoying the view already” You look at her eyes and give her a soft smile.

“Wait a second…are you doing what I think you’re doing?” She questions.

“Depends on if you like it or not” You mumble, suddenly feeling slightly nervous. This was unlike your usual behaviour when it came to flirting. As you’re feeling the nerves you look into her eyes and feel yourself melt slightly at the soft look she’s giving you.

“And what if I do like it?” She says in a more suggestive tone “Is this the great Y/N getting nervous? Never thought I’d see the day”. “If you do like it, then I’d suggest we take this to the dance floor” You nod over to the dancefloor where many of your friends are dancing together. “Oh and I don’t get nervous, even if it’s a beautiful woman like you”. You whisper in her ear and see a very faint blush on her face. You smile to yourself as you both walk to the dancefloor hand in hand. 

You dance together for a while, still engaging in conversation with each other. As the night goes on the drinks continue flowing and you feel yourself getting more and more confident, making somewhat bolder moves and both getting drunker.

━━━━━

“åh herregud!” You hear as your eyes shoot open. “What the hell, why are you here?”. 

You look around and have absolutely no idea where you are, apart from the fact Guro Reiten is sat up next to you in a bed that you’re both sharing.

“It’s okay, we’re fine” You calm her down. “Now, how the hell did we get here? Where are we?”

“My apartment, and I have no idea how we got here together” She sighs, you admire her morning hair, messily laying on her shoulders. The light coming in through the blinds of her room makes her eyes glisten and skin glow. Wait what?

“Okay question one, do you live here alone?” You ask her, she shakes her head. “Oh my god you have a girlfriend? Shit I’m so sorry, fuck, I should go” You panic and start standing up to get ready to leave. “No you idiot, I share a house with Erin and Niamh” She drags you back down. “My question for you is, what do you think we did last night?”.

“Well from the fact we are both still pretty much in last night's clothes, not a lot” You chuckle, walking over to her mirror “Although I don’t remember me having these yesterday” you narrow your eyes at her in the reflection in the mirror whilst pointing at the trail of hickeys on your neck, causing her to blush. 

“It could’ve been anyone!” She says with her eyes wide.

“Considering I woke up in your bed, I’m very sure on who it was” You roll your eyes. You sit in silence for a few seconds, both getting your bearings on what happened, how and what you’re gonna do to get away with it.

“Do you actually remember much from last night?” She asks you, leaning back against the mattress, you follow her lead and lay next to her. Her shirt has risen slightly from her flopping onto the bed and you can’t help but admire her body. “Eyes up here Y/LN” she smirks as you quickly snap your eyes back up to hers.

“I remember enough to have a good understanding of why I’m here. For the record, Leah and Alex dared me to pull a Chelsea player but as soon as we started talking that all went out the window” You break eye contact, your nerves get the better of you until you feel a hand gently moving your chin to force you back into eye contact with her.

“I guessed that after you snuck your way over to our table, they were watching you the whole time. I also really enjoyed time with you Y/N, I can make myself nice and free today if you want to re-do last night… but with less alcohol please” She says holding her stomach, you nod back enthusiastically.

“I can run home and grab my car? I can drive us somewhere if you like, as it seems we only live around the corner from each other!” You say excitedly. “That and I need to try to sneak in without waking up Vic and Gio, that’s going to be a nightmare”.

“Meet me outside in an hour? That gives me time to freshen up and look less like I had a night with an Arsenal player” She fake heaves, you roll your eyes in response and walk to the door of her room.

“WAIT” She grabs your hand “I think the girls are downstairs, let me distract them and I’ll say Cereal when you’re clear to escape” She says walking out the room. You sneak down quietly and hide around a corner from the girls.

“No I didn’t sleep with Y/N! Jesus Erin, you’ll never catch me with a gooner” She laughs. You hear a gasp from Niamh, instantly you feel that dreadful feeling of being caught.

“Did she do this?” Niamh continues fussing over Guro “In all seriousness I’m proud of you for getting some Guro, it’s about time”.

“Ugh, can we stop talking about her now, have we got any cereal in the kitchen or did you eat it all Erin?” Guro says, you notice the codeword and slowly make your way to the front door of the house and manage to escape barely making a noise. Rather than the walk of shame, you opt for an Uber home rather than walking for 10 minutes, still unable to fight that nauseous feeling. 

When you arrive home you open the door to find Vic passed out on the floor in the living room, you start making her a coffee to help her with the wake up, alongside some painkillers. You lift her gently off the floor and place her on the sofa whilst making her drink, she starts waking up too thankfully.

“Morning Y/N, still wearing last night's clothes?” She jokes.

“Didn’t even make it to my bed, you’re expecting me to go through all that effort to get dressed too?” You lie.

“Morning you two” Gio sings as she walks in with a starbucks in hand.

“Where were you, young lady?” You joke, hands on hips.

“Oh I stayed at Katherine’s, I can see you two got home safe?” Gio says looking over at you both still in last night's clothes. 

“Oh yeah, I got in a little after this one, but all in one piece!” You say nudging Vic. 

“God how drunk was I? I don’t even remember getting home, bet it was Viv” Vic sighs. You sigh, relieved that your housemates have no suspicions of you staying out last night.

“Anyway as much as I love you both, I need to get out of these clothes, and get some shopping done” You say.

“Can I come?” Vic asks.

“Nope, unless you really want to go with me to test out which guitar I want for 3 hours” You smirk.

“Nevermind, I’d rather sit at home eating ice cream” She kisses you on the cheek as she walks off to the kitchen with the coffee you made her, you make your way up to your room. As you get dressed after your shower, there’s a gentle knock on your door. 

“What? I already said I’m going guitar shopping!” You grumble. “It’s me” You hear Gio on the other side “Are you decent?” you open the door for her to come in, you’ve not put a shirt on yet but have your sports bra on.

“Now, Vic may believe your lies, but I do not. Where were you last night?” She squints at you.

“I’m not lying, I was at home just after Vic” You shrug, Gio chuckles.

“I’m sorry Y/N, I won’t tell on you, but I can tell” She gives you a soft smile.

“But..how? You weren’t even home?” You sigh.

“One, you set off our ring doorbell with motion just now. I’ve deleted the recording of you fumbling your way in earlier. Two, your neck tells me a different story” She smirks poking at one of the dark red marks “Now I’ll keep your secret safe, on one condition. You tell me who it was”. 

“You know I love you right?” You look at her guiltily, again she gives you her squinted look. “It was a Chelsea player”.

“I can’t believe you! I don’t even care who it is! If the team finds out you’re so fucked” Gio gasps. You throw a shirt on and get ready to leave whilst Gio is still fussing about your ordeal.

“You’re meeting up with her, aren’t you?” She smirks.

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not” You say whilst still grabbing your stuff to go.

“Listen, if you’re thinking what I’m thinking… This is massively out of your normal behaviour. The Y/N Y/L/N doesn’t do dates. So this is clearly something special. I promise I won’t tell anyone, and I can’t wait for you to tell me all about your date later” Gio wraps you in a tight hug and kisses your cheek. “Now go get your girl!” She smacks your back.

You jog out of the house yelling a ‘bye’ and ‘love you’ to your housemates. You get in your car and drive to Guro’s apartment. As you pull up outside you see her having an animated conversation with Erin and Niamh and lower the window slightly to hear the conversation.

“No Erin, it's not some random creep I’ve met. I promise she’s really nice” Guro groans.

“I trust you, but I don’t trust her. Let me meet her. Is that her now?” She points directly at your car and starts walking towards it alongside Guro and Niamh. You decide to hop out of the car and greet them.

“Absolutely not, not a chance. Guro why a gooner!” Erin groans. You two have hung out a few times together post Chelsea and Arsenal matches so you are on good speaking terms.

“Hey nothing wrong with us!” You joke back smiling at Erin.

“Right, I’m going all protective on you now” She nudges Guro to get in your car whilst you two talk. “What are your intentions with Guro, and what happened last night?”.

“I had a feeling this was coming” You sigh “I know I have this history, but that’s all it is now. My intentions with Guro however? I don’t even know, but I do know I will treat her with the respect she deserves. I’m sorta new to this whole going on a date thing and I’m super nervous and I really like her…and now I’m rambling” You blush, Erin starts grinning, Niamh gives a nod.

“Our protective duties are done. She’s all yours. I trust you Y/N” Erin gives you a hug. 

“But you didn’t even let me tell you what happened last night?” You question.

“Ah we don’t need to know, because I let you two and Niamh in last night. You were like giggly schoolgirls. You and I had to carry Guro up the stairs and that was a disaster, followed by us doing the same for Niamh. I was only joking about being protective, I know you care, even if it has only been one day of getting to know her and for the record, I had a feeling you guys would hit it off one day” She winks. You laugh and have a small conversation with the two of them before leaving for your date with Guro.

“Have fun you two! But not too much, yeah?” Niamh jokes as you start pulling the car away. As you get on the road you put your playlist on in the car and sit comfortably in Guro’s company.

“What did they say to you?” She asks, looking over to you. You keep your eyes on the road.

“Well, they went all protective, I rambled, turns out Erin let us and Niamh in last night and we carried you up the stairs, and then had to carry Niamh too. Now she thinks she’s cupid as she expected us to get on well” You chuckle, Guro groans.

“I swear to God she’s so annoying” Guro whines. “What did you ramble about?”.

“You” You say quietly.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t quite hear you” She teases.

“You know what I said. You, I rambled about you. How this is all very new to me and even if it has been less than 24 hours I already really care about you and think you deserve the world” You ramble “Look what you’ve done I’m rambling again!” You grumble.

“Well I think it’s cute” both you and Guro start blushing. Never in your wildest dreams did you think you’d ever be such a mess for someone.

━━━━━

"...and that's how I missed the Derby last year" You chuckle as Guro laughs along. 

"To think I thought it was a sport related injury, not tripping down the stairs drunk trying to chase Frida" She laughs. You stir your coffee and admire her, you find yourself getting lost in her eyes once again. 

"You know, you aren't all that bad Y/LN" Guro smiles, placing a hand on yours. 

"Same with you, Reiten" You give her hand a squeeze. 

"I don't wanna go back to the girls after this, I'm gonna get quizzed" Guro groans. 

"You can always come over to mine? Vic and Gio will be home but we can order some food in and chill?" You offer, she nods in response. 

━━━━━

You open your door and you're hit with silence, either they're in their rooms or out. 

"The coast is clear, go go go" you say, dragging Guro in. Luckily you were right, neither of your housemates were home. Your phone vibrates in your pocket. 

Gio - GURO REITEN?! 

As you both settle on your sofa you respond to Gio. 

Y/N - Damn doorbell… Just a friend x

Gio - Liar. Keep your naughty business to your room please, we will be home soon (I didn't tell Vic)❤️

You sigh as you lock your phone, look at Guro who's also looking at your phone. 

"Just a friend?" Guro looks at you. 

"Well… I didn't wanna put a label on it, that's a lot of pressure for us" You mumble. 

"Well I don't wanna just be your friend Y/N" She strokes your cheek "I like this side of you, nervous, caring and a real charmer".

"I try, I try" You chuckle "But in all seriousness, I feel the same. How about… Dating?" You suggest.

"As long as that means I can do this…" She leans in and kisses you, you get carried away until you hear the door being unlocked, you both run up the stairs and hide from your housemates who luckily didn't spot you. 

"That was a close one" Guro breathes out heavily.

You hear a hello downstairs from someone you didn't expect. 

"Oh my god Frida's home from visiting her girlfriend!" You instantly jump up "I'll be right back! FRIDA FRIDA FRIDA" you run down the stairs yelling and jump into your best friend's arms. 

"Oh hello Y/N, I missed you too" Frida laughs, hugging you tightly. "Where are the other two?". 

"They went out, they'll be back soon though!" You smile "You should probably unpack and shower, I'll leave you to it!" you say as you run back up to your room. Guro is just sitting on your bed, admiring your room and looking at your medals and awards. 

"Enjoying yourself?" you smile, she nods. You pass her your phone with your local Chinese takeaway menu on it so she can pick what she wants, once you order you cuddle on the bed just chatting quietly. 

"I can't believe I'm dating an Arsenal player" Guro groans. 

"I'd be honoured too" You smirk. 

"You're never getting me to wear your shirt, national team maybe but Arsenal it's a hard pass" She kisses your cheek. 

"What would it take to get you to wear an Arsenal shirt" You ask her. 

"Hmmm" she taps her chin thinking. You smirk and lean in to kiss her. "That won't work but it'll help your case". You connect your lips and carry on from where you left off downstairs. You lean over her and kiss her from above her, it continues getting fairly heated, quiet moans, shaky breaths. 

"Hey Y/N your food is…. WOOOAH! I am so sorry! I didn't know you had someone up here… wait GURO?!" Frida shrieks. 

“I would say it’s not what it looks like but… yeah” You sigh as you roll off Guro.

“Y/N, a word please? In private” Frida says, waving you out of the room and shutting the door. “Okay you know I love you a lot. But Guro has been through a lot, don’t play around with her, be honest and open and you’ll be fine”.

“Frida trust me, I don’t ever want to hurt her. Yeah it’s a lot for only a day of getting to know eachother, but there’s a connection we have and I can’t explain it. Ever since I first played against her a few years back I always felt nervous seeing her. She’s just so pretty and I used to find her somewhat intimidating. I wanted to get her attention but I knew she had a girlfriend and it’d just be seen as me doing ‘a Y/N’. Main reason I stopped partying and messing about, and she doesn’t even know it.” You ramble.

“Y/N…you really do care about her don’t you? I remember the last match you played Norway that you went all blushy when you did a shirt swap with her. It all makes sense! Y/N has a loooover” Frida sings.

“Shut uuuup!” You groan. “Now can I get back to my girlfriend but not girlfriend?” You whine.

“Yep, but on one condition, you tell the team when you’re official. Both teams that is” She smirks.

“Deal” You say as you open your bedroom door to go back in. 

“Come sort out your food you two, or I’m stealing your spring rolls” Frida yells up the stairs. You instantly spring off the bed.

“NOOOOO!” You run down the stairs and tackle Frida, with Guro following behind, removing you from your friend and pinning you down.

“Traitor! You’re a traitor!” You say towards Guro.

“Us Norwegians stick together” Frida fist bumps Guro and you scowl at them.

You hear a commotion at the door followed by your other housemates walking in. 

“Oh. My. God. We have a Chelsea player in our house, this feels so wrong” Gio jokes, going to greet Guro “I’m Gio, but you can call me Y/N’s worst nightmare”. Guro laughs and gives Gio a small hug. Followed by Vic. The two had brought home food for them and Frida so you all sit on the sofas and eat your food, engaging in chatter. 

“Guro, why her though” Frida whines.

“Hey I heard her ramble to you through the door, I think just that alone was self explanatory” Guro shrugs, your eyes go wide. Guro hugs into your side. 

"I never thought I'd see Y/N with a girlfriend. You're so happy and it's barely been a day" Vic grins.

“Yeah well, get used to it” You smile leaning more into Guro.

After a few hours of chatting, eating and watching shows your housemates decide to call it a night.

“I should probably get going, I’ve got training in the morning” Guro sighs, with a sad smile on her face “I had a lot of fun Y/N, I’m really glad we did have the guts to have a drunk sleepover”.

“Me too, how about I give you a lift home? That or you can always stay for the night? I’ve got some spare clothes and I can take you home in the morning and give you a lift to training, I have no plans tomorrow so I don’t mind hel-” You ramble until Guro breaks it with a gentle kiss. 

“If it helps you stop rambling, I’ll stay tonight. How about we go out for dinner tomorrow…its a team dinner with partners at Chelsea so you’re more than welcome to go with me, that’s if you’d want to do that” She blushes. You nod in response.

“We aren’t moving too fast are we?” You chuckle “Because if so, I don’t care”.

“I think we’ve both had our eye on each other for a while, so I guess we are just making up for lost time” Guro smiles, squeezing your hand as you stifle a yawn. 

“Right you, let’s go to bed” She pulls you upstairs.

━━━━━

Part 2 is already in the works :)

[starsenha]

DUET - desperation (chapter 19)

synopsis: the Decelis Univeristy's dance team was pretty famous in the dance community, and you loved to be apart of it, even if it meant juggling with your studies. But what would happen if you got paired with the only guy in the whole school you couldn't stand: Park Jay.

pairing: dom!jay x sub!fem!reader wc: 2k tw: SMUT (mdni), petnames (baby, doll, good girl...), fingering, dry humping

The sunlight filtered into the studio as you stepped inside, your stomach churning. You had been dreading this moment all day, ever since you saw the message you and Jay had exchanged last night. You were so drunk you didn't think straight. Now, you just wanted to curl into a ball and disappear. But you couldn't avoid practice.

Jay was already there when you arrived, leaning casually against the wall, his eyes lighting up with amusement when he saw you. Your heart flipped at the sight, but you quickly shoved the feeling aside. It was the first time you saw him in person since the kiss. But right now, you were absolutely notified, especially when you saw the smirk on his face.

"Morning, sunshine," he greeted you, his voice laced with teasing. “How’s the head? You were pretty drunk last night.”

Your face burned as you struggled to meet his gaze. “Oh my god, can we not talk about last night?” you mumbled, quickly setting down your water bottle and avoiding eye contact like your life depended on it.

Jay chuckled, pushing off the wall and walking over to you. “Oh, but I think we should. I mean, you were pretty open with your feelings. I believe the words ‘hot’ and ‘kiss’ were mentioned more than once.”

You groaned, burying your face in your hands. “Please stop,” she begged, the humiliation nearly overwhelming. “I can’t believe I texted you those things. I’m so, so sorry, Jay. Just… forget I ever sent them, okay? I didn't know what I was saying."

"Okay, okay, relax, sunshine, it's fine. It was cute." he said, chuckling. The little compliment made your heart flutter but you ignored it and just turned to the speaker to put on the music. You knew that you couldn't avoid the conversation forever, but delaying it seemed like a nice option right now.

You quickly started the routine. Your movements were in sync, but the tension was palpable. You could feel your heart pounding with every step, especially everytime you felt his hands on you, or his face was close.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Jay called for a break. You both stopped, panting slightly. You grabbed your water bottle, taking a long sip as you tried to calm your racing thoughts.

"We should talk about it," he said suddenly. You froze a bit, unable to turn back to face him.

"About what?" you said.

"Come on, you, you know what," he said, his voice low. You could feel him behind you as he got closer. He touched your shoulder, silently asking you to face him, and you sighed. You turned around and saw his intense gaze before you both sat on the wooden floor.

“The kiss was...it was a mistake,” you said, your voice trembling slightly. It wasn’t what you truly felt, but the fear of rejection and vulnerability made you say it. “We were both emotional, and it just… happened.”

His expression tightened, and for a moment, you thought you saw a flash of hurt in his eyes. But he quickly masked it. “Yn, it wasn’t a mistake for me,” he said quietly, his tone serious. “I… I wanted to kiss you. And I kinda wanna do it again right now.”

Your breath caught in your throat, your heart skipping a beat. “Jay, I’m so fucking confused,” she admitted, her voice shaky as you buried your face in your hands once again. “You’ve been so distant with me lately, like you didn’t even care. And now… this? What am I supposed to think?”

He ran a hand through his hair, frustration and guilt warring on his face. "I know I've been distant. But it's just... yuna told me that you’d been talking behind my back. That you said dancing with me was awful, that I wasn’t as talented as you. I didn’t want to believe it, but… I don’t know, it got to me. That’s why I’ve been so distant.”

You stared at him in disbelief. “Jay, that’s not true! I would never say something like that. Yuna… she’s lying. I don’t know why she’d tell you that, but I swear, it’s not true.”

His shoulders slumped, and he looked down at the floor, shame washing over him. “I’m such an idiot,” he muttered. “I should have known. I should have trusted you instead of letting her get in my head.”

Your gaze softened. "It's okay, i get it. But you should have talked to me, instead of pulling away.”

Jay nodded, feeling like the biggest fool in the world. “I know. I’m sorry, Yn. I really messed up," he let out a long sigh. "Can we… can we just start over? Forget everything Yuna said, and just… focus on us?”

You let out a small smile, playing nervously with your water bottle. "Okay, that'll be nice."

He looked at you, relief flooding through him. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed this—missed you—until this moment. “You have a beautiful smile, Yn, you know that?” Jay blurted out, the words slipping out before he could stop them.

Your eyes widened in surprise, and then a blush crept up your cheeks. “Huh?”

Jay chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I don’t know. It just… you smiled, and it hit me. You’ve got a beautiful smile, and I’m really glad I’m seeing it right now.”

Yn’s blush deepened, and she couldn’t help but laugh softly. “Well, thank you, I guess."

You both just stood there, laughing slightly, the tension that had always been there between you starting to simmer. When your eyes locked again, you saw his smirk falter before he got closer. In a few seconds, he was cupping your cheek, his eyes boring into yours.

"Please tell me I can kiss you again, I've been thinking about it nonstop since that night," he said, his face inches from yours. You could see the desperation in his eyes.

You only nodded, not trusting your voice and he finally closed the distance between you. The kiss started soft, tentative, but it quickly escalated as all your pent-up emotion surged to surface. Jay’s grip on your face tightened slightly, and he tilted your head back, deepening the kiss. Your hands instinctively reached up, fingers threading through his hair as you pulled him closer. You felt his tongue caressing your lower lip, and you parted your lips, giving him the access he needed.

He didn't even hesitate. He took control of the kiss, his mouth moving against yours. Your head was spinning, and it was like you were drunk off him because of how desperately he was kissing you. Without breaking the kiss, he shifted and pulled you into his lap, your legs straddling his hips. You settled against him, your hands bracing against your shoulders, gasping slightly when you felt his semi-hard-on underneath you as his back was pressed against the wall.

His grip on your waist tightened, palling you flush against him until there was no space between. You arched into him, grinding your hips ever so slightly, needing friction. You were already so wet, and you hadn't even done anything. A groan left his lips as he trailed down your jawline and neck, leaving a trail of open-mouth kisses that quickly turned into nips and bites, leaving marks on your skin.

"Damn, baby," he breathed heavily, his voice low and husky. "You feel so good grinding on me like that."

His words made you shiver as you moaned softly, your fingers tangling in his hair as you continued to move against him. He tilted your head back by pulling slightly on your hair, exposing more of your neck to his relentless kisses. "Fuck, you drive me crazy, you know that?"

His hands continued to roam possessively over your body, exploring every curve as he continued to leave marks on your neck and collarbones. "Such a naughty little girl grinding on my cock like that." His hands moved to grip your thighs, pulling you down harder against him. His hips instinctively matched your rhythm, creating friction that made you gasp. Your moans grew louder, even if you knew you were technically in a public space. Your hands gripped harder on his shoulder, digging your nails into his shirt as you bit hard on your bottom lip to make sure you weren't too loud.

Before continuing, his eyes locked with yours. "Wait, wait. Are you sure about this? Because if we start, I don't think I'll be able to stop."

You were breathless, your cheeks flushed and your eyes were dark. "Yes, please i want you so much, please," your voice came out as a high-pitched whine.

Jay chuckled softly as he leaned close, his lips brushing against yours. "So fucking impatient," and with that, he closed the distance between you once again, kissing you hard. Your hands gripped harshly his shoulders as you kissed him back. His fingers started to work down on your body. "You have to be really quiet. Think you can do that for me, doll?"

You nodded, your breath hitching in your throat. You didn't trust your voice right now. His hands moved to the hem of your shirt, pulling it slowly. As he tossed it aside, he quickly took off your sports bra and looked at you with a mixture of lust and admiration. "You're so beautiful, yn."

His hands moved to your breasts, his fingers massaging and kneading them, causing you to gasp and arch into his touch. "Such perfect tits, mmh," he murmured. His hands were rough yet tender. He leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear as he bit your lobe softly.

His hands moved downwards, and he removed your shorts and sipped his fingers between your legs. The first contact of his fingers against your sensitive cunt made you gasp, your body instinctively arching. His touch was rough, his eyes locked on your face to watch every little reaction to his touch. "Fuck, you're so wet," he bit his lips as he spread your juices before inserting one finger into your wet hole. He quickly added another, picking up his pace. Your breath hitched, and you clenched your teeth, trying to muffle the moans that threatened to escape.

His gaze never left your face, a wicked smile spreading across his lips as he watched closely your reactions. "That's it, babydoll," he said, his voice low and raspy. "Try to keep those sounds down for me, mmh?" His fingers moved inside you, thrusting hard and curling his fingers so good your hand was thrown back as you bit even harder on your lip, blood practically drawing out.

His pace never faltered as soft moans left your mouth. He could feel your walls clenching around his fingers as you struggle to keep your moans in check because of how good his fingers felt inside you. "You gonna cum, baby?" you could only moan and clench harder around him as his smile widened. He increase the pace, his thumb coming to rub fast tight circle on your clit. "That's my good little girl."

Every thrust of his fingers sent jolts of pleasure through you, your body struggling to keep up with the intensity. You could barely hold back the sounds that escaped your lips, your attempts to stay quiet growing increasingly futile. His grip on your hip tightened. "You're so fucking perfect like this, fuck."

Louder moans escaped your lips, despite your best effort to keep them in check. He was clearly enjoying this, his eyes never leaving you flushed face as waves of pleasure crashed over you, your body shook with the intensity of your climax. His fingers continued to work you through it. Once you came down from the high, his fingers left your aching hole, making you whine. He brought his fingers slick with your juices to his mouth and tasted you, his eyes closing as he savored the flavor. A low groan escaped him, and he rolled his eyes back in sheer pleasure. “Damn, babydoll,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire. “You taste fucking amazing.”

You were both left panting hard, as you bit your lip and looked at him. "Now, how about we finish this little practice ay my place, hmm? You'll like that, baby?" You nodded frantically, and he chuckled at that. "Let's go, then."

previous / m.list / next

TAGLIST: @sincerely-sunny @realrintaro @onlyhyunjin @mari-oclock @jooniesbears-blog @isa942572 @minhosimthings @sumzysworld @kaykay11sworld @lakoya @hoonismine

[asahicore]

our secret moments - lhs (m)

"our secret moments in a crowded room / they got no idea about me and you // all of this silence and patience / pining and anticipation / my hands are shaking from holding back from you" - dress by taylor swift

series masterlist - part one - part two - part three

100 kisses masterlist - prompts 4 (breaking the kiss, your lover instantly pressing their lips back to yours), 26 (“i was supposed to take a shower, alone, but go ahead jump right in”) & 19 (“if we’re caught kissing we’re most likely dead but let’s risk it”)

pairing. best friend’s brother!heeseung x fem!reader synopsis. After avoiding Heeseung for a week, Chaeyeong makes you talk things out with him. In the weeks that follow, the two of you sneak around at night, sharing secret kisses in the backseat of his car and getting to know each other on a deeper level. If you make sure to be careful, there's no reason it should go wrong, right? genre. secret relationship au, fluff, smut (mdni!!), hint of angst at the end word count. 24.2k 😂 a/n. after a thousand years she's finally out!! i'm really sorry for making you guys wait but i was struggling with writing motivation and as you can see she's a bajillion words long so it took me forever to finish it. at least my amazing beta reader bestie in charge @zreamy edited it in like twelve seconds which was super awesome of her oh also shout out to the anon who recommended dress by tswift for this part ur very smart!! ok will stop talking now hope u guys like it and as always pls lmk what u think!!

Heeseung is confused.

He’s always proudly considered himself someone who easily understands other people, who isn’t rattled by sudden shifts in moods and who can adjust to different situations and attitudes. He’s observant and likes trying to figure out what the people around him are thinking or feeling, going over all the possibilities and finding the right way to fix a situation. In that aspect, he’scompletely unlike his sister Seeun, who, always straightforward, prefers asking directly. 

But Heeseung doesn’t see the fun in that.

His ability to understand others so well also allows the people around him to rely on him whenever they have concerns or troubles - they trust him to listen intently and provide solutions as best as he can. Even though he has few friends, he knows them inside out, and he’ll always choose that over having tons of friends he doesn’t really know.

This is where the confusing part starts for him. He likes to think of you as a friend - not a close friend like Sunghoon or Jay, but still a friend. You greet each other and even sometimes talk when you run into each other at school or at his place; you take the bus home together every once in a while; you remember each other’s birthdays; you even spent a few hours making a puzzle together once. Surely, that’s what friends do, Heeseung thinks. But to his great despair, understanding other people means he also understands himself well, and he can’t fool himself for that long.

He knows a friend wouldn’t make him feel the way you do. He can’t even blame it on your being a girl, because Chaeyoung, whom he basically sees just as often as you, or any of the girls in his classes that he sees on a daily basis, don’t make his palms sweat and his heart race like you do.

Admittedly, the truth would be closer to ‘my little sister’s best friend who I get even more nervous and awkward than usual around and gives me butterflies every time she so much as looks at me and is awfully pretty and smart and funny, which doesn’t help any of this.’ 

But ‘friend’ is easier. 

So he sticks to it and forces himself to look you in the eye when you talk and to start conversations with you, like he does with all his other friends, hoping that someday, he will finally feel normal around you. 

Sadly, that day doesn’t seem to come, and before he knows it, fall arrives and he’s whisked away to college. That’s where he meets Jake.

Jake was Heeseung’s roommate whom he had been terrified of as soon as he laid eyes on him, for Jake seemed to be the complete opposite of Heeseung and the exact type of guy he had hated in high school. The loud type, who sat at the back of the room and paid no attention to the teacher because he was too busy annoying girls or making fart noises with his armpit. The type who made fun of Heeseung’s glasses.

Heeseung was terrified of Jake for about five minutes (and with reason - the first thing Jake had said to him was “Cool glasses, bro”) until they started talking and he realized that he was doing the same major as him, shared a lot of his interests both academic and hobby-wise, and was basically just as much of a nerd as him; he simply hid it much better. Not that Heeseung wanted to hide it or even understood why he should.

One of Jake’s freshman-year goals was to get into a fraternity. But not just any - he had his eyes set on Sigma Sigma Pi because his brother was an alumnus and he had told Jake - in those exact words - that college life wasn’t worth living if you weren’t part of a fraternity. This meant that presence at the first party of the semester was mandatory. Heeseung had shivered at the word ‘party’, but Jake was so resolute that he decided to support his friend and come along, letting himself be convinced that even he might find some fun in it.

Three pints of cheap beer and five shots of tequila later, he concluded that maybe frat parties weren’t so bad after all. As soon as they’d seen him, a group of upperclassmen had taken his crooked glasses and lanky limbs as signs of social awkwardness and decided to help him loosen up by bringing him directly to the kitchen where all the good stuff was. Jake hadn’t expected that Heeseung would be the one to catch their eye, but he wasn’t going to complain about getting to party with the frat bros on his first night of college.

Heeseung, whose lips had never touched so much as a drop of alcohol, was wasted barely two hours into the party. Jake fared slightly better, but only because he knew better than to accept every drink that came his way. To this day, Heeseung finds himself unable to remember anything that happened after eleven p.m. that night, so imagine his surprise the next morning when he woke up half-naked in a stranger’s bed. 

Heeseung, who had practically never had a female friend, let alone a girlfriend. Heeseung, who had never even been close to getting his first kiss, and whose dick only knew his right hand. Heeseung, who had had a singular crush his whole life, and had never been able to do anything about it. So imagine his surprise when said stranger turned out to be a girl - and a pretty one, at that - who was smiling down at him as he blinked his eyes open and asking him if he slept well.

She was sitting on the edge of her bed, close to Heeseung’s chest, which he rapidly covered with a blanket as soon as he realized it was bare. He was sleepy and confused, but more than that, he was hungover - his head was throbbing, his mouth was dry, and he felt like he might be sick any second. Obviously, Heeseung had never had a hangover before, nor had he ever woken up in a girl’s bed with no idea of how he got there, and the two new unexpected experiences made him unable to think or speak. He was just really confused. And really sleepy.

The girl slightly furrowed her eyebrows but laughed, seemingly amused by Heeseung’s behavior. “Are you okay?”

“I- um, yeah, I’m fine, but I, um…”

Heeseung winced at his own awkwardness, but he had no idea how to behave in such a situation. He also wasn’t sure how to tell this girl that he had no idea who she was or what he was doing with her.

She gave him a weird look but continued laughing. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re acting weird.”

This only confused Heeseung further, because he always acted like this. He looked away from her questioning eyes and found an interesting spot on the blanket for his eyes to focus on. “What, um, what happened last night? I think I had too much to drink…” he said, voice getting quieter the more he spoke.

This girl was apparently having a lot of fun, because his words only made her laugh more. “You can say that again. You were out.” Heeseung’s head whipped at that and his expression was so alarmed that she instantly tried to reassure him. “Don’t worry, you didn’t do anything too embarrassing.” 

He still didn’t say anything and looked terrified out of his mind. “Do you not remember?” she asked, and he shook his head. “Anything?” He shook his head again.

She sighed. “Do you know my name?” 

Heeseung looked down again, and she could feel his guilt in the third head-shake.

“Guess you really did drink a lot. I’m Yunjin,” she said, extending a hand out for him to shake.

He cleared his throat and took the girl’s hand. “H-Heeseung.”

Yunjin tilted her head at Heeseung as if trying to figure him out. “You know, you were really different last night. A completely different person.”

No matter how mortifying the thought of behaving inappropriately was to Heeseung, he preferred knowing what he did to staying in the dark. “What was I like?” he asked, sounding almost scared.

Yunjin took a second to think. “You were just really… confident,” she said, and Heeseung looked at her in total disbelief. “You talked to everyone, danced like crazy, flirted with me…” She paused for a second, then looked at Heeseung with a teasing smile. “You’re a really good kisser, you know.”

Heeseung’s eyes widened so much they could’ve popped out of their sockets. “Me?!” he exclaimed as if he’d just heard the most ridiculous thing ever. Yunjin just laughed and nodded.

“But right now, you’re like a beaten puppy or something. You act like I’m gonna punch you any second,” she joked, finally getting a chuckle out of Heeseung. 

They talked for some more, and he relaxed enough to ask more questions. But maybe he shouldn’t have had, because his embarrassment reached its peak when Yunjin told him that she had taken him upstairs the previous night, not realizing how drunk he was because of how drunk she was, but that they hadn’t done anything more than kissing. He asked whether he’d fallen asleep as soon as his body hit the bed, so Yunjin, reluctantly, had to inform him that he “couldn’t get it up” - her words. That was why he’d woken up in just his underwear. 

Luckily for him, their conversation was cut short when the rightful owner of the room kicked them out. He scrambled to put his clothes back on, and he and Yunjin ran into Jake in the hallway just as they exited the room.

“Heeseung! My man!” Jake exclaimed, circling his friend’s shoulders with his arm and ruffling his hair. The three of them decided to go get breakfast together in an attempt to fight off their hangovers, and a beautiful friendship ensued. Jake and Yunjin quickly figured out how fun it is to tease Heeseung for his awkwardness and nerd tendencies, but they were also really good friends. 

It didn’t take long for them to find out about his long-standing crush on his sister’s best friend, and they immediately made it their mission to help Heeseung channel his alter ego so that he could finally make his move on you. He was reluctant at first, but after some time, he found that it was fun to party on the weekends, flirt shamelessly with strangers (and yes, sometimes make out with them) and hit the gym with Jake rather than stay holed up in his room and just study or game. They convinced him to get a haircut and some nicer clothes, and they even went to get their ears pierced together on a night when the alcohol made them feel like it was the greatest idea ever.

Of course, Jake and Heeseung were accepted in Sigma Sigma Pi, and Yunjin in the twin sorority. Heeseung developed this sort of odd reputation of being a player and a huge flirt but never actually taking a girl back to his room. Not to say no one tried - many girls heard about him and thought they would be the one to bag this boy that only seemed to get more handsome at every party, but no matter what they did or said, they were no match for you. 

Even though he hadn’t seen you in months, you were still on his mind all the time. To say he missed you would be an understatement, and it was a weird feeling, considering you were barely friends. But he missed taking the bus with you and hearing you laugh, even if it was at him, even when you were teasing him. He missed getting a glimpse of you in the hallways or seeing your shoes at the entrance of his house when he came home from school. He daydreamed about those hours you had spent together working on a puzzle together more often than he’d like to admit.

He didn’t like the idea that some girls might think he was leading them on, but once he knew his flirting actually worked on people, he couldn’t wait to see you again and try his new tricks on you. He tried not to self-doubt too much, but he was scared that you wouldn’t like it - he wanted to get a positive reaction out of you, not make you want to run the other way.

So when he finally came home for the summer and started working his charm on you, he was immensely relieved to see you get shy and flustered around him. He finally understood why you’d always teased him - there was nothing like knowing your heart had skipped a beat because of him, much like his had because of you thousands of times before.

It’s hard to always keep his cool around you, however, and he also finds himself getting nervous once in a while. But the hope that you might like him back keeps him going, so he takes every opportunity he can to talk to you and, while he’s at it, call you pretty or smile at you (a smile he’s practiced many times in the mirror for maximum effectiveness). To his immense joy, it works every time - so when the party rolls around, he knows he has to make an actual move. It also helps that he’s invited his number one wingman to stay with him for a couple weeks, so that his confidence never wavers.

He thinks he’s hit the jackpot when the bottle lands on you and on him right afterwards. He thinks he’s reached heaven when he finally feels your lips on his, when he finally gets to have you close and touch your hair and hold your waist and have your hands on him. The seven minutes pass by in a flash, and heaven is ripped away from him by his own best friend when the closet doors open - but the worst part happens during the days that follow. Those are hell.

You do the one thing that he had hoped you wouldn’t - you run away from him. In one week, you don’t even say ten words to him, just greet him quickly and proceed to escape as far as you can. He notices the change in your behavior right away - how could he not? And so a thousand possibilities run through his mind, ranging from “the kiss was awful, and she hates my guts, and she never wants to see my face ever again” to “she’s just scared about the repercussions this could have if Seeun finds out.” None of his friends can calm him down or get him to think straight.

This whole ordeal makes him panic so much that he has fully gone off flirty mode - how could he flirt with you if he couldn’t even get you to talk to him? He had been sure he’d read into your reactions right, that you had feelings for him, and that he was right to make a move, but not anymore. Now, he was just confused.

--

Since that fateful party, you’ve unconsciously started seeing your life as pre-Heeseung incident and post-Heeseung incident. 

Pre-Heeseung incident: it’s painful having such an intense one-sided crush, but at least you can keep it to yourself and not have to worry about Seeun’s reaction to you being in love with her brother. Sure, said brother’s constant flirting and general existence don’t make things easy for you, but it’s better to keep it a secret than to act on it.

Post-Heeseung incident: you have no idea what to do with yourself now that you know what it actually feels like to kiss and touch Heeseung, so you’ve resorted to avoiding him like the plague and pretending nothing has ever happened. It’s not fun either, and having to keep your inner turmoil to yourself is even harder than before, but you don’t want to risk your friendship with Heeseung over one kiss.

On the afternoon of day five, you’re going crazy reiterating the events of the party, so you decide to text the girls and ask them to come over. They both answer that they’ll be there in fifteen, but not even three minutes after you’ve sent the text, Chaeyeong appears at your bedroom door, face red and sweaty like she’s just run a marathon.

Since it’s Chaeyeong, you’re only mildly surprised to see her there, but you’re curious about her quick arrival nonetheless. “You’re already here?”

“Y/N, we need to talk,” she says with all the seriousness in the world. You’d be scared shitless if these words had come out of anyone else’s mouth, but knowing your best friend, she’s just exaggerating the gravity of whatever this is about.

Even though you try to match her earnestness, you can’t keep the amusement out of your voice when you answer, “Sure, go ahead.” 

She catches onto your lack of seriousness right away. “You think this is funny?” she says in an almost threatening way. “I came early so we could talk about your little Heeseung problem without Seeun.”

That’s enough to shut you up for a few seconds as you look at her mouth agape, heat rising to your face. She takes your silence as a victory and crosses her arms over her chest, waiting for you to say something. “My little Heeseung problem?” you echo stupidly, and she nods. “I don’t have a little Heeseung problem.” You know that nothing about your tone or expression is convincing, but you still hope - in vain - that she’ll let you off the hook.

“No, you’re right, you have a big Heeseung problem. And it must be discussed.”

You roll your eyes as she takes a seat next to you on your bed. “You’re taking this way too seriously, you know.”

One thing about Chaeyeong is she’s never at a loss for words. It makes arguing with her exhausting because she’s always got something to bite back at you, no matter how much of a reach it is. So before the conversation even starts, you know she’s going to win it. You’re afraid of the truth she might shove into your face, but you figure it needs to be done at some point, so you let her.

“What’s serious is this crush you’ve been harboring on him all these years, and that now that something has finally happened and you might be going somewhere with him, you’re running the other way.”

You only hear the beginning of her sentence, too focused on the bomb she’s just dropped on you. “You-you knew?”

It’s her turn to eye-roll. “Only an idiot wouldn’t notice how much you like that boy, Y/N. Which means that Seeun is an idiot, by the way.”

The mention of your other best friend makes you wince slightly. It feels wrong to be going behind her back to talk about your crush on her big brother like this. “Yeah, I know,” Chaeyeong says as if reading your mind. “I’ve thought about it, and I honestly have no idea how she’ll react.”

You both look at your feet for a while, mulling over the different ways this could go down with Seeun. “It definitely doesn’t look good,” you say defeatedly. “I mean, if her reaction at the party is anything to go by. When we were playing the game, you know. When the bottle landed on me and Heeseung, she looked completely disgusted, but when we came out she didn’t even question whether something might have happened, as if that was just impossible for her.”

Chaeyeong sighs. “Well, if you tell her, she’ll definitely be surprised. But I’m sure she’d be fine with it… right?”

Your friend’s doubt only makes you feel even worse, and you drop your head into your palms with a groan. “I hate everything about this.”

Chaeyeong nudges your shoulder with her own, making you turn your head to look at her. “I’m sure you didn’t hate that whole part when you were in the closet with-”

“Chaeyeong!” you scream before she can finish her godforsaken sentence, but it only makes her break into a fit of giggles. You try to pretend to be mad at her but a smile breaks through your pout at the sound of her laughter. 

“Well? You can’t deny it, can you?”

It takes another nudge of her shoulder with yours to make you reply. “Of course not, but-”

“So that’s it then! Let’s not think about any of the possible bad outcomes for now, and just focus on getting you and him together.” She doesn’t even give you time to answer - your wide eyes and panicked expression are enough for her to know what you would say. “Listen, I’ve had to sit here and watch you and Heeseung make heart eyes at each other without the other knowing, and that was already excruciating enough - I can’t stand to watch you make heart eyes at each other now that you know what the other feels.”

It takes you a second to process all of her words. “Y-you think Heeseung makes heart eyes at me?” you ask weakly. It’s like you have selective hearing today.

“Girl! He somehow manages to make it even more obvious than you. Also, Jake told me that Heeseung told him that he likes you. Can’t get much more reassurance than that.” Your dumbstruck expression makes her look at you in disbelief. “You seriously don’t see it?” she says in a fascinated voice, as if in wonder at your stupidity. You can only slightly shake your head no.

“I can’t believe this is what I have to deal with…” She sounds like an overworked office worker and mother of four rather than a high school senior on her summer break, and her attitude would make you laugh if you weren’t so rattled by the thought that Heeseung might have actually liked you all these years, you were just too caught up in your own feelings for him to notice it.

She takes your hand in hers and sighs. “I can promise you I wouldn’t be saying all this if I didn’t really believe it,” she starts, voice much softer than before. “I remember the way he would get all shy and blushy whenever you were around, and that boy was already one hell of a nervous wreck on his own. And the blatant flirting since he’s come back makes me want to applaud him and vomit everywhere at the same time,” she says with a chuckle.

“Really?” you ask, a small smile appearing on your lips as you let yourself be convinced by your friend’s words.

“Really. And you, I’ve noticed how you pay more attention when his name is mentioned. And you were always a bit cheerier on the days you came back from school after riding the bus with him. Don’t even get me started on the way you’ve been this summer. You couldn’t get more obvious. It screams ‘I can’t handle being around this man for more than a minute so I’ll just run away,’ and I mean that in a good way.”

You look at Chaeyeong with a pout, and her smile grows bigger. You squint your eyes as you look away, trying to keep your grin down. “Guess I wasn’t as discrete as I thought I was.”

“You really weren’t,” she laughs. “Probably thought it was your own little secret, right?”

You’re slightly embarrassed that you’d been uncovered such a long time ago, but it’s also a relief, being able to share this with someone. 

“I did…” you admit, and it makes you both break into laughter. After you’ve calmed down, you ask Chaeyeong why she’d never said anything about it before. She thinks about it for a bit before answering.

“I’m not completely sure. Maybe because you and Heeseung were both such losers, I thought that even if I told you I knew, nothing would happen.” You scoff, slightly offended, but more because you know she’s right than anything. “And I don’t know, you two were just so cute with your crush on each other. I wanted to let you figure it out on your own, but now it’s taken so long and it’s right in your face but you’re still doing nothing about it, so I got fed up.”

You nod at her words, taking it all in. Was it really time to let Heeseung know about your feelings?

“I also feel bad for Heeseung, you know.” You look at her, waiting for her to continue. “Poor guy has been in agony these days. You need to stop ignoring him. I know it’s because you feel weird about him being Seeun’s brother, but I swear I think he might die if you don’t just at least talk to him. I’ve actually talked to Jake…” she reveals, and you wouldn’t have questioned her talking to Heeseung’s friend if it weren’t for the way she said it.

“You have?” you repeat with a suggestive tone.

“I have,” she says with a smile, “but that’s not the topic right now. Anyway, he said that Heeseung’s been losing his mind trying to figure out what to do. I think it’d make things a lot easier if you just went and talked to him, cleared things up, confessed your undying love for him, hm?”

“Who are we confessing to?” Seeun asks, suddenly appearing at the door and making you and Chaeyeong scream in genuine terror.

“Nice to see you guys, too,” she chuckles before flopping down on the bed.

Chaeyeong is only good with her words when it comes to arguing - she’s perhaps the most terrible liar you’ve encountered in your life. But at least she knows this, and is always deft at switching the topic rather than attempting to come up with an excuse. “Y/N and I were just talking about watching some movies with the boys tonight. Apparently, they’re having a movie night at your place since you’ve got the best TV, and Jake asked if we wanted to join.”

You know better than to look surprised by Chaeyeong’s words and make it clear that she’s lying, but you’re still caught off-guard by the sudden news. Movie night meant being in a darkened room in proximity to Heeseung, and we all know what happened the last night you were in a dark room with him. 

“Y/N and I thought it was a good idea, but we wanted to ask you first. Right, Y/N?” Chaeyeong suddenly prompts, momentarily tearing you away from your thoughts of Heeseung’s lips on yours. 

“Right,” you reply, somehow successfully pretending like you’re not on the verge of spontaneously combusting. You’re even more embarrassed now that you know that Chaeyeong and Jake know about your little crush, and you can’t even pretend it isn’t there like you usually do.

Seeun hums. “Alright, sounds fun.”

The three of you chat the rest of the afternoon away, and before you know it, you’re getting ready to go to Seeun’s house. As you rummage around your drawers for that one pair of soft sweatpants that manages to be the most comfortable article of clothing on Earth while also making your butt look amazing, your phone buzzes twice, and so do Chaeyeong’s and Seeun’s. The first notification is of Heeseung having added you to a group chat simply named “movie night”, and the second is of a link being sent to said chat. When you click on it, it redirects you to a poll to rank ten movies in order of how much you want to watch them. Your favorite movie is on the list, and you can’t help but wonder whether it’s a coincidence or whether it’s something you’d talked about during high school and that he’d somehow remembered.

Once everyone has voted, you receive a second link, this one asking you to rank the three top movies in watch order. A smile breaks on your lips at this - it’s very Heeseung of Heeseung to do this and avoid later confrontation. As if to confirm this thought, your phone dings for a third time with a text from him that reads “this is so we don’t spend thirty minutes choosing a movie.” You’re not sure why everything he does is so endearing to you, all you know is that trying to avoid as much conflict as possible is a very Heeseung thing to do, and you’re grateful for it too.

When you get to Seeun’s house around seven-thirty p.m., the first movie is already up on the TV, waiting to be played. It’s horror, and you’re glad it wasn’t picked to be watched last, otherwise, you might’ve had trouble falling asleep. You quickly notice that Heeseung is the only one of the boys not currently sitting on the couch or in an armchair, and the question appearing in your head is answered almost right away when Seeun asks about her brother’s whereabouts. 

“He’s just in the kitchen getting the drinks ready,” Jay answers as he sprawls his body even more across the armchair he’s reserved for himself. 

“Why don’t you go help him out, Y/N?” Chaeyeong proposes with a deceptively innocent smirk, and if Seeun hadn’t been watching, you’d have given your hellspawn of a friend a serious death glare, but all you can do is mumble out “sure” and make your way to the dreaded kitchen. The butterflies you used to feel when thinking of Heeseung or being around him before have now turned into brutal rhinos trampling your insides, and it doesn’t feel so nice. 

“Hey, Heeseung,” you say quietly as you enter the kitchen, and your nerves make your own voice sound unfamiliar to your ears. He gasps at your sudden appearance, a blush immediately creeping on his cheeks, and you’re glad the lid on the bottle of Coke he’s holding is tightly screwed, otherwise, it might’ve spilt everywhere.

“O-oh, hey, Y/N,” he stammers in response. It’s awkward for three seconds as the two of you stare at each other until you remember why you’re here in the first place. 

“Um, I heard you might need some help?” you ask, and again, the sound of your own voice, so squeaky and unsure, makes you wince.

“Oh, sure. Thanks,” he says with a hint of a smile. “Here, you can fill this bowl with ice.”

You comply, and the refreshing feeling of the ice against your fingers somewhat helps to cool you down. It’s only quiet for a few moments, because although starting a conversation is terrifying, the tension in the silence and the thought of your feelings being left unsaid is far worse. So you take a deep breathe and open your mouth to speak.

“I’m sorry-”

“I’m sorry-”

You and Heeseung exchange a bewildered look, the surprise of apologizing at the same time quickly fading out into a burst of shy giggles. “You go first,” he says, risking another glance your way as he busies himself again with the glasses and the drinks. 

“I’m sorry for avoiding you all week,” you start. “I wanted to talk to you, I was just… scared. And I didn’t know what to say.”

Explaining your behavior any further means confessing your feelings for him and articulating your fear of Seeun finding out, and even though it must be all clear as day by now, you’re still not quite ready to talk about it. Not now, when your friends are in the room right next to you. So you don’t add anything and hope that Heeseung has developed some sort of telepathy skills over the last few days. 

When he doesn’t press any further, instead saying it’s okay and smiling at you (properly, with eye contact), a weight seems to be lifted off your heart. “Your turn now,” you say, still smiling. You’ve emptied the ice cube tray into the bowl, so all you can do is look at Heeseung and wait for him to speak. If only you knew how much harder that made it for him. 

“I’m sorry for kissing you and then acting weird.” He can’t quite bring himself to look at you as he speaks, and even though he’s done getting the drinks ready, he keeps his eyes trained on the glasses as if they’ll tell him what to say next. “I’m not sorry for kissing you,” he adds quickly, “not at all.” Heat rises to your face and you have to tear your gaze away from him for a second. “I was confused ‘cause I never thought you might… want that too,” he says, voice quieter than before, like he’s scared that the others might hear him - like he’s scared that you might hear him. 

The words are right there at the tip of your tongue, begging to be let free - so for once, you comply. “I do.” Your voice is just as quiet as his, perhaps even more so, and if it wasn’t for Heeseung’s sharp intake of breath, you’d have thought he didn’t hear you. 

Your gazes lock, and the simultaneous relief and fear you feel are mirrored in his wide eyes. His face then breaks into a huge grin, and he is so dazzlingly handsome that you have to look away once more. You smile at the ground instead, grateful that breathing is something you do without having to think about it, otherwise, you’d have stopped doing it a long time ago. 

Neither of you says anything more, letting the silence do its job. You look back up at him as he sighs deeply, almost contentedly, it seems. He smiles at the glasses as if they told him the right thing to say. He looks at you, smiles wider, looks away, looks back, looks away again, scratches the back of his head. You watch the whole time, small giggles bubbling up your throat and out of your lips. 

He sighs once more and looks back at you, keeping his eyes on yours this time. “Okay, we should head back now. But talk more later?” he asks, and you nod immediately. Any other time, you’d have been embarrassed to show your interest so obviously, but you’d just told each other you both wanted to kiss the other, so agreeing to talk more later felt like nothing now. 

“Okay,” he repeats, grin still wide on his lips as he picks up the tray and heads back to the others, you following close behind.

“Took you long enough,” Seeun says, scrolling on her phone as you step into the living room, but you’re too focused on something else to quip back at her.

Jay is still reigning over his armchair while Sunghoon, Seeun, Chaeyeong and Jake, in this order, occupy the main couch that faces the TV. This means that the only spot left for you and Heeseung to sit in is the other armchair opposite Jay’s, obviously big enough for one person but slightly too small for two people to sit comfortably on, as in to sit without their bodies touching each other.

Heeseung had just admitted he wanted to kiss you. You had also just admitted to Heeseung you wanted to kiss him. Now, you were going to sit together in an armchair that forced two people into proximity, and you had to pretend like that was fine. 

When you manage to take your eyes away from the godforsaken armchair, your eyes meet Jake’s, then Chaeyeong’s, and that’s when you realize. They did it on purpose. The poorly-concealed smirks on their faces and giggles threatening to escape their lips as they take in your reaction make it all too clear. You could strangle your best friend right now. You know she’s doing you a favor, and deep down, you’re thankful for it, but you also know sitting through these movies is going to be the most arduous task of your life when Heeseung is right there. Close enough to touch, close enough to lace your fingers together or thread yours through his hair. You remembered very well from your game of seven minutes in heaven that it was just as soft as it looked. 

You send Chaeyeong yet another death glare, but it only makes her smile more. You set the bowl of ice on the table after Heeseung’s put the drinks tray down, and immediately make yourself a glass of Sprite to keep your hands occupied for at least a little bit. 

While you do that, Heeseung takes a seat on the armchair, and the sight you’re greeted with when you turn to sit next to him makes you almost drop your drink. After the little confession-like moment you shared in the kitchen, it seems like all his confidence from before the party has returned to him. He’s taken a comfortable seat indeed - he’s shamelessly manspreading, thighs almost taking up the whole space as if inviting you to find your own seat there. He lets himself be engulfed by the soft cushions as his head falls back against the headrest, exposing his neck and prominent Adam’s apple. 

You’d just gotten used to shy, flustered Heeseung again, only for him to return to his confident self in the blink of an eye. You try not to let it deter you, especially because you’re not the only two in this room, but his smirk as he looks up at you makes it hard not to. All you can do is redirect your death stare towards him, but sadly, much like with Chaeyeong, the only effect it has is to make him smile wider, as if torturing you was a fun pastime for them. 

You mumble at him to scooch then sit down next to him, knees bent close to your chest so your legs don’t touch his too much, but that plan is quickly thrown out of the window when you feel his hand sneaking behind your back until it reaches your waist, settling there. Even with a layer of fabric between his hand and your skin, the contact sends a shiver down your spine, and you have to keep yourself from audibly gasping. Conscious of the drink in your hand, Heeseung pulls you gently towards him, making your bent knees fall to the side and rest on his thigh. So much for keeping your distance.

Even your idea of occupying your hands with a drink turns out to be useless twenty minutes into the movie when the first jumpscare almost makes you spill your Sprite all over you and Heeseung. You take a big gulp before leaning forwards to set your glass on the table, and Heeseung’s hand stays put the whole time, even squeezing gently when you find your seat again. Without the drink, you know it’s a bit weird to stay sitting upright, but you can’t imagine leaning fully back against Heeseung or resting your head on his shoulder. This already feels like a lot - to be even closer to him would probably send you into cardiac arrest. Plus, even in the darkness of the room, the light coming from the TV screen would be enough for the others to see your and Heeseung’s position on the armchair, and you definitely don’t need Seeun to see you cuddling up to her brother.

You’re already tense from sitting right next to Heeseung, and the movie playing on the screen is not helping - creepy music that puts you on edge, camera angles that only let you see the character’s face and nothing else, weird silhouettes that flash for just a second - this is one of the rare times a horror movie actually does what it’s supposed to do, i.e. scare you. You almost managed to forget the boy’s presence next to you, but when a particularly suspenseful scene plays, you instinctively reach out to grab something, anything, and of course, that happens to be his wrist. You’re so immersed in the movie that it’s only when he wriggles out of your grasp and takes your hand in his instead that you realize what you’ve done. 

It’s like somebody pressed the pause button as you look down at your intertwined hands, the sound and light coming from the TV screen not registering in your mind anymore. When you dare to look at Heeseung’s face, he’s already shyly smiling down at you. He quickly turns away to watch the movie instead, but you’re still too focused on the warmth of his hand and the feeling of his fingers between yours to care whether the stupid white girl will make it out of the house safely or not.

This is something you’ve daydreamed about a thousand times before. Every time you’d ride the bus together or walk side by side, you wondered what would happen if you just reached out and grabbed his hand. It was always right there - but the line you’d be crossing seemed miles and miles away. Now that it’s finally happening, you realize it’s a lot better than you could ever have imagined. You feel like you should be freaking out, scared by what this simple touch means and by the fact that Seeun could turn her head at any moment and see you holding hands with her brother, but all you feel is contentment. Your feelings for Heeseung just needed to be reciprocated, and now that you know they might be - no, that they are - it’s like you can be at peace with them.

Feeling bolder, you squeeze Heeseung’s hand once then bring it to rest on your knee. You sense his gaze on your face once again, but you avoid it and keep your eyes fixated on the TV screen, unable to keep yourself from smiling even though one of the side characters is getting brutally murdered. Your smile only gets bigger when he squeezes your hand back.

You stay like this for so long that your and Heeseung’s hands seem to melt together, and you can hardly tell where your own fingers end anymore. The doorbell rings during another tense scene, making everyone jump in their seats, but it’s just the pizza guy. 

Seeun goes to get the door and pay, and the poor girl has barely placed the pizzas on the coffee table that the boys are already pouncing on it like starved children. Only Heeseung stays put, laughing at his friends and waiting for them to get a slice. The fact that he gives you a plate - with a slice of your favorite pizza, no less - before getting his own shouldn’t make your heart race as much as it does, but your cheeks still heat up at the simple gesture. The darkness of the room does nothing to hide your flustered expression as you mumble out a ‘thank you.’

You all eat your fill and watch the rest of the movie, agreeing that the end was quite disappointing (even though you were all stressing out and holding onto each other for dear life during the climax - Heeseung’s hand found yours again as soon as you were done eating, and you’re pretty sure one of his fingers was close to breaking with how hard you were grabbing him).

To everyone’s surprise, Seeun announces that she’s going to bed halfway through the second movie. 

“But it’s only eleven p.m.!” Chaeyeong protests, as if knowing the time would make Seeun change her mind.

“I know, but that pizza took me out for some reason. I’ve been falling asleep for the past half hour, might as well just go to bed.” There’s not much to argue, so a chorus of ‘goodnights’ ensues as Seeun trudges upstairs. The three on the couch immediately use the added space to spread out more, Sunghoon extending his legs to the side so that the back of his knees rests in Chaeyeong’s lap and his feet in Jake’s. Both of them complain about the weight but don’t do anything to make him actually move, so he contentedly keeps his position.

You can’t help but think that with Seeun gone, you can also make yourself more comfortable. You’re thinking about whether to change your position on the armchair, going over the different ways Heeseung might react, when you catch Chaeyeong’s look. She raises her eyebrows at you as if to say, “what are you waiting for?” as if your next move should be obvious. You look away from her and back at the screen, then start to lean backwards as naturally as possible, but that’s hard to do when your heart is beating a thousand miles an hour. Luckily (or not) for you, Heeseung seems to get the message immediately and wraps his free hand around your shoulder, bringing you closer to him - closer than you had intended to.

The loudness of the movie isn’t enough to drown out the sound of your sharp intake of breath at the sudden proximity, and you feel your face heating up when Heeseung chuckles at your reaction. This is a comedy movie you’ve watched a bunch of times already, which makes it all too easy for you to focus on him rather than the screen. Now that your head rests on his shoulder, if you turned your face ever-so-slightly, you could get a proper whiff of his cologne and his skin. You really, really want to bury your nose in his neck and inhale, but you’re afraid that might get you a couple of weird looks.

You look down at your intertwined hands again and happily realize that you can now unabashedly stare at Heeseung’s hands the way you had always wanted to. You can finally play with his long fingers, tracing the outline of them and bending them softly at the knuckles, and admire the lines on his palm as if they might reveal everything you want to know about him. You can finally do it, so you do, almost unconsciously - you don’t realize that you’re touching his hand as freely as if it were your own until you hear his breath start to get shakier. 

You halt your motions right away and look up at him alarmed, scared that you’ve made him uncomfortable when he avoids your gaze. But then he reaches for your hand again and the corner of his lips tug ever-so-slightly into a small smile. You’re not sure if it’s the light of the TV screen on his face, but it even seems like his cheeks have reddened. You’ve been flustered one too many times to not recognize the symptoms, but it’s still surreal to think that you might have the same effect on Heeseung as he has on you.

Giddy with this new realization, you make yourself more comfortable against Heeseung, resting your head in the dip between his neck and his shoulder and bringing your knees closer to him. His hand travels from your shoulder to your waist, holding you there. You continue to play with his other hand, only half-paying attention to the movie. In this new position, you can feel Heeseung’s chest rising in rhythm with his breathing, and that is much more mesmerizing to you than any movie could be.

The only times you tear yourself away are when Jay brings snacks in from the kitchen and when you need to go to the toilet between the second and third movies. Other than that, you stay cuddled up close to Heeseung, basking in the warmth you’d been longing for for years. It’s so comfortable that you never want to leave, even when Heeseung’s touch burns as his hand sneakily finds its way underneath your t-shirt to trace patterns against the bare skin of your waist. You almost yelp from how unexpected but pleasant it is.

You both easily stay awake until the end of the third movie, perhaps because your nerves are too much in a frenzy from being so close for you to feel sleepy. Sunghoon, Jake and Chaeyeong, however, have all fallen asleep, and Jay wishes you goodnight and heads upstairs as soon as the movie is over. 

In a whispered conversation that feels too intimate for your own good, you and Heeseung decide to let the others sleep on the couch rather than wake them up, and to clean up the pizza boxes and other things littering the coffee table.

It’s quiet as you throw the trash away and put everything back in cupboards or in the fridge. You’re on your last bite of a cold slice of pepperoni pizza when Heeseung breaks the comfortable silence.

“So…”

You look at him as he stands, lower back against the counter and gaze directed towards the ground. Now that you’re in a bright room, you know that the blush on his cheeks isn’t just a trick of the light. A smile that mirrors his grows on your lips at his endearing shyness.

“So…” you echo, making him chuckle.

“I’m not sure where to start,” he confesses, scratching the back of his neck. You’re not sure how this is the same Heeseung that had held you close to him just moments prior, but you understand that he might revert back to his nervous self when he’s in a more serious situation. You’re not completely relaxed either.

You pretend to think for a second, but you know exactly what it is you want to ask. “Well, there is this thing I’ve been curious about…” you start. He looks at you and tilts his head to the side, so you take it as your cue to go on. “What the hell happened when you were away at college for you to come back so different?” you ask with an amused tone to your voice.

So he tells you about his freshman year. About the party that Jake dragged him to and everything that ensued after it. He doesn’t go into too much detail about exactly how he met Yunjin or all the flirting (and kissing) practice he’s had, just saying that he found ways to build his confidence - and at the end, he quietly confesses that he’d done it to find the courage to confess to you, but that it hadn’t gone so well after all. You try not to dwell on the fact that he changed so much for you, because thinking about it for too long would probably melt you into a puddle. 

“What do you mean, it didn’t go so well?” you question softly, lowering your voice to the same volume as him. You’ve realized that when you and Heeseung talk, you often end up doing so really quietly. You don’t know why you like it so much.

“Well, you know, you’ve been avoiding me all week,” he starts, trying to make his tone the least reproachful he can, because he’s not mad at you, not at all - if anything, he’s mad at himself. “So I thought I’d really messed things up.”

“You didn’t mess anything up, Heeseung. If anything, I’m the one who made things weird. I just…” You sigh. “I’m so scared of Seeun finding out. But…”

“But?” he prompts, a hopeful look on his face. Clearly, dating his sister’s best friend isn’t as much of a dilemma for him as it is for you. 

“But I’m more scared of letting you go now that I finally have you,” you say to the ground.

A beat passes. “So don’t,” he whispers, voice so low you barely hear it - but you do, and you understand his words loud and clear. They resonate in your head as he takes a step closer to you, then another and another. You feel your heart pulse throughout your entire body when he reaches you, standing right in front of you. 

Your breath hitches when he rests one of his hands on the kitchen counter behind you. Gently, he cups one side of your face with his other hand and brushes your cheek with his thumb, prompting you to look up at him. He’s so close you could count every single one of his eyelashes. 

“So don’t,” he repeats with a small smile. When he bends down to kiss you, melting against his lips is the easiest thing you’ve ever done.

The feeling of his soft lips against yours brings you back immediately to that closet. You both only realize just how much you’d been itching to pick things up from where you’d left them when the kiss gets heated in a matter of mere seconds, your need and longing for each other over the past five days evident in the way you pull each other impossibly close.

Your hands reach up, first resting on his shoulders but quickly finding their way towards the back of his neck, grabbing at the hair there almost instinctively, desperate to have something to hold onto. Meanwhile, his hands brush along your sides, moving from your hips to your waist before they encircle your middle in an attempt to bring you closer to him.

There’s no battle for dominance in your kiss, no trying to win the other over, no trying to make the other succumb - rather, you fall easily into each other’s rhythm, relishing in the other’s taste and the long awaited proximity. His mouth is soft against yours, his hair is soft under your hands, and his touch is driving you insane. You never want to stop.

After a few minutes, however, the light-headedness from a lack of air and kissing so passionately gets too much, so you draw back slightly to take a breath - but Heeseung seems to have other plans. He reacts immediately to you pulling away, and doesn’t even give you a second to breathe before pressing his lips back against yours, as though his air were your kiss. 

The suddenness makes you gasp, and he takes that opportunity to brush his tongue against yours, deepening the kiss even further than before. You feel your heartbeat speed up when his hands trail back down your body, but when he lowers himself slightly to reach the back of your thighs, picking you up and setting you on the counter with ease, never once breaking the kiss, you’re pretty sure your soul actually leaves you. All you can think about is Heeseung and all you can do is continue kissing him like your life depends on it. Having your face at the same level as his now that you’re up on the counter makes it all even easier and more comfortable.

But it also means he has easier access to your neck, and as soon as he realizes that, he jumps on the opportunity. Breaking away from the kiss, he presses his lips to the corner of your own before making his way along your jawline and down your neck. Your breaths come out heavy, almost sigh-like, and you really have to keep yourself from making any noise, lest the others in the room right next to you might wake up and hear you. The feeling of Heeseung’s lips on the sensitive skin of your neck is completely new to you, but it’s an amazing kind of new - it’s the kind of new you know you won’t ever get enough of, even when it becomes familiar. 

His kisses are burning hot, and yet goosebumps spread all over your body. When he finds the spot that has you taking in a sharp breath and gripping his hair tighter, Heeseung is quick to focus his attention there and there only. He nips lightly at the skin, and that has you whispering out his name. Hearing that only makes him double down on his actions; he alternates between biting down and kissing to relieve your skin, and he’s only satisfied when there’s a bright red spot in the crook of your neck. God, where did he learn how to do all that? Is this what they teach in college?!

He looks up at you with a proud smile, and he’s so cute that you almost say nothing about the very obvious mark he just left on you, but you still feel the need to scold him. “You’re gonna get us in trouble, doing things like this,” you say with a smile just as bright as his, which probably doesn’t make you look very serious, but you can’t help it - you’re on cloud nine right now.

“What if I want to get into trouble with you?” he replies, gaze fixed on your lips. You can’t say anything in return at that, so you just slightly shake your head in amusement and lean back in to kiss him again. 

It seems that sharing so much oxygen has gotten to both of your heads, because this time around, the kiss is more light-hearted than intense, noses bumping into each other and teeth almost clashing from how hard the both of you are smiling, giggles spilling out through every touch of your lips.

“See? I told you!” 

The sudden sound of Jake’s voice coming from the doorway forces you and Heeseung apart and your face heats up immediately at the sight of Jake, Chaeyeong and even Sunghoon all looking at the two of you with a surprised but proud expression on their faces.

He takes a small step back from you and turns his body to face them, but can’t actually bring himself to look at them; you’re not much better, smiling shyly at your lap and playing with your hands in shame at being caught. At least it wasn’t by Seeun. 

Sunghoon approaches Heeseung with big steps, clapping a hand loudly against his friend’s back when he reaches him. “You finally did it, man! I’m so proud of you,” he exclaims, and actually sounds really excited. 

Heeseung risks a glance your way, obviously embarrassed by his friend’s words, but it only makes you smile harder. You slightly curse yourself for not having realized Heeseung liked you back earlier - you could’ve done this such a long time ago. As Sunghoon continues congratulating Heeseung, you catch Chaeyeong’s gaze, and she winks at you. You find yourself relieved to have her on your side, but you know that sooner or later, you’ll have to talk to Seeun about this. 

Indeed, the five of you head upstairs to go to bed, and before Heeseung and you go your separate ways, he catches your hand, squeezes it once tightly as if to bid you a silent ‘good night,’ then smiles his bright smile at you - and you know you’re in deep, far too deep to keep it secret for long.

(There’s an awkward conversation the next morning when Seeun asks how the hell you had gotten a hickey and Chaeyeong immediately jumps in, saying she did it. “For… practice,” she’d explained with as convincing a smile as she could. Luckily for you both, Seeun wouldn’t put it past her to actually do that, so she didn’t question it much further.)

--

You and Heeseung start sneaking around anyway, not quite ready to reveal your budding relationship to the world (read: Seeun).

You can’t hang out at your house, because your parents would see or hear him, and blabber innocently to the adult Lees, even if you told them not to - why couldn’t they talk to each other about their kids dating? It’s great news! Let’s have a family dinner! What? You don’t want Seeun to know? But she’s your best friend! She’ll understand, she’ll be happy for you!

You don’t need to actually have the conversation to know what your parents will say. You’ve known them for eighteen years, after all.

For more obvious reasons, you can’t hang out at his house, either - if you’re there, it means you’re with Seeun, and the risk of her finding you in her brother’s room was too great to take. 

At least Heeseung has a car. But it’s not like you can go many places, anyway - the town you live in isn’t huge, chances of running into an old classmate or even a friend are high, news travels fast, word of Heeseung and you dating could easily get back to Seeun. You went to your local diner for your first secret date with Heeseung (Chaeyeong, of course, knew about it, but Seeun thought your period cramps were too bad to sleep over that night), and there, you’d seen three different people that you knew, and Heeseung two. 

He didn’t seem to care much about his sister, or anyone for that matter, finding out about the two of you - in fact, if it was up to him, he’d have screamed it to the world right after you’d kissed at the party. But he respected your wishes, and even found your slight paranoia and darting eyes the whole evening somehow endearing - although he wished you’d paid more attention to him than to the other patrons in the diner. You hadn’t even noticed when he stole a whole handful of fries from your plate, or when he switched your strawberry milkshake with his vanilla one.

So he did the one thing he knew would get your attention - when you both reached his car, he led you to the backseat before you could head to the passenger side. You weren’t sure what he was doing until he had you on his lap, a devilish smirk on his lips that you only got a glimpse of before he trapped your own, slightly parted in surprise, in a kiss. There was a faint protest of “what if someone sees us” but any complaint you might have held flew away when his tongue ran over your bottom lip, asking for entry that you immediately granted. After all, you were just as desperate for more of him as he was for more of you.

You couldn’t break away from the kiss - how could you, when his lips slotted against yours so perfectly, as if you were specially crafted for one another? All you could do was hope that the fire between you two made the windows of Heeseung’s car fog up so that no one could see inside and get a glimpse of what you were doing in there.

It wasn’t any of their business anyway.

That first date opened your eyes to the many advantages of car dates. On warm summer nights like the ones you’re currently having, you can find a wide, empty space, and park there, laying down a blanket on the roof of the car and admiring the stars. You can spend hours sharing childhood anecdotes, asking Heeseung a thousand times about the moment he realized he liked you, and telling each other the things you’d always been too scared to reveal to another person. If you get hungry, you can drive to any food place and enjoy your late-night meal from your seats in the parking lot, or drive to another place with a view - although you don’t really need any sort of scenery when Heeseung sits next to you. His delighted expression as he takes his first bite or his eyes looking at you with fondness you didn’t know you could elicit from someone are some of the beautiful sights your eyes have ever been blessed with.

And after that, because innocent hand-holding and not-so-innocent thigh touches always lead to something else, most nights, you find yourselves in the backseat, basking in each other’s warmth and relishing the other’s touch. Every time, you grow needier. Every time, you need more. But so does he, and so you take and take and take just as much as you give and give and give. Even after two weeks of doing this, you’re just as on edge as before, just as reactive to any certain look he might send your way or any touch of his. You’re so relaxed, so comfortable when the two of you are talking - but as soon as you notice him glancing at your lips, or the streetlights hit him a certain way, you’re reminded of the incredible way his kiss makes you feel, and your mind fixates on it, not satisfied until you have his body close to yours. 

You also quickly find out that Heeseung’s favorite drink is Coke and you almost always taste it on his lips. You even bought Coke-flavored chapstick just to have a trace of him when you can’t be together (you’re also maybe hoping that he’ll taste the soda on your own lips, and start thinking of you whenever he drinks it.

What you don’t know is that Heeseung is always thinking of you, no matter what he’s doing, anyways).

There’s also moments where you both revert back to your flustered selves, like when you stare too hard at him for his liking (he actually loves it, it just makes him really shy) or when he compliments you out of nowhere. In those moments, it’s like you forget about the many passionate kisses you’ve shared, like you’re back on one of those comfortably silent bus rides or in that sunlit room, trying to finish a puzzle together. But then his hand grazes against yours, and you’re reminded you can hold it with confidence now - you can do many things with confidence now. As the days pass, Heeseung is pleasantly surprised to see you initiate more and more of your makeout sessions, and although your impatience to get your hands on him strokes his ego, he’ll never get tired of you avoiding his gaze when he calls you pretty.

You have to make sure not to meet up too often, otherwise your continued absence would raise Seeun’s suspicion, but it’s also hard to go more than a day without spending a little time with the other. It seems that after years of unknown mutual pining, you’ve both run out of patience and can’t stand to be away from each other for too long. This is why, more than once, Heeseung has pulled you into his room just to smell your hair or bury his face in the crook of your neck or make out - but you always make him put a five-minute timer on.

Truth be told, even though you knew your feelings for Heeseung weren’t surface level, in all the times you’d daydreamed about finally being with him, you hadn’t expected it’d be so intense. Maybe that’s what happens when you find out that the other person felt the same way you had felt about them the whole time - you feel so stupid for not finding out sooner that you can’t afford to waste a second, and years of deep emotions are squeezed into mere hours of being able to see each other at a time. 

It’s the hardest when your two friend groups hang out - he’s right there, but you can’t do anything. He sits next to you at the table or on the couch and pretends like everything’s completely normal, but you grow even quieter than usual because his scent and proximity drive you crazy. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy seeing you getting flustered or clearly having to hold back - something about only him having that effect on you does something to his brain.

Chaeyeong and Jake are both your allies and worst enemies. While they always cover for you, they also love to put you and Heeseung in… situations. Like “off-handedly” mentioning that game of seven minutes in heaven or that movie night (without mentioning you directly, of course, but they know what you’re thinking and you know what they’re thinking), sending you on snack runs together or somehow leaving you two behind, alone in a room. 

Or proposing an evening at the pool.

During the summer, your municipal pool stays open late at night every day, and on week evenings, it doesn’t get very crowded. If you go there once the sun’s set, the atmosphere is amazing - the glow of the lights in the pool gives the whole space a bright blue hue, and the stars shine directly inside through the floor-to-ceiling glass windows. If you’re lucky, you and your friends might go on a night when you get the whole place to yourselves.

You know it’s a good idea. You know you’ll all have fun, but you also know you’ll have to pretend that seeing Heeseung half-naked with wet hair isn’t putting you on the verge of spontaneously combusting. The worst part is you don’t even need to use your imagination at all to conjure up that image - you’ve seen him in the hallway as he came out of the shower before, so you already know how devastatingly good he’ll look at the pool. You’re weak in the knees just thinking about it.

Getting ready for the pool and the drive there pass in a blur, and before you know it, you’re in the changing room, and all you need to do is dress down to your bikini and head towards the pool where a shirtless Heeseung will be waiting to greet you. 

You wrap your towel around your waist in an attempt to cover yourself until you actually need to get into the water. Because not only are you freaking out about seeing Heeseung in his swimsuit, you’re also nervous about him seeing you half-naked. The last time you went to the pool together, puberty still hadn’t hit either of you, and you were still in the happy years of not being self-aware of your body or of others’. Even though summer hang-outs with his friends and yours weren’t so uncommon, you’d never gone to the pool together, and the fact that you’re now dating and you know he’ll be looking at you only adds to your nerves. 

All four boys are already in the water when you, Chaeyeong and Seeun arrive, and you notice with horror that they all quiet down and study the three of you as you approach and rid yourselves of your towels, setting them on a bench before heading into the water.

Boys.

It makes Chaeyeong giggle and Seeun roll her eyes, but your whole body is burning under Heeseung’s intense gaze. You watch as his eyes slowly make their way up your body as if trying to commit each inch of you to memory. When your eyes finally lock, a smirk grows on his lips as though he couldn’t care less that you caught him so unashamedly staring. At first, you look away with a huff, but his gaze doesn’t leave you as you and the girls wade into the water towards the boys, so you fix with him a pointed glare instead.

You do your best to ignore him as you all play around in the pool, racing each other to one end and back or trying to drown each other, but that’s hard to do when he seems so set on teasing you as much as he can. He sometimes switches victims and decides to terrorize his little sister or Jake instead, but you’re still his main target. You want to be mad at him, but he seems so excited and happy that you can’t bring yourself to actually scold him. You’ve never seen him so playful, and the way he laughs carefreely, head thrown back and eyes crinkling at the edges, makes your heart swell with adoration for him. 

There aren’t that many other people in the pool, mostly kids from high school, who are hogging all the inflatable pool toys - but that doesn’t pose a problem for your group. “Let’s play chicken fight!” you hear Jake say at least four times before someone actually listens to him and agrees.

Someone calls out Jay’s name - you turn your head in the direction of the voice to find that it’s Jiung, whom you vaguely recognize as one of his friends from school. From his uniform, you assume that he’s on shift as the lifeguard. Jay swims towards him and they get into conversation, conveniently leaving six people to play Jake’s game.

This is how he pairs you up - you with Heeseung (of course), him with Chaeyeong and Sunghoon with Seeun. You notice the two of them sharing a small smile, and even though it’s quite dark, you’re pretty sure you notice their faces reddening. You glance at Chaeyeong, who’s already looking at you with a surprised expression - she saw it too. Jake is too excited to play chicken fight to pay anything else attention. He explains the rules, stricter than you’d expected and many of which seem completely made up by him, and announces who will play first. Clearly, Jake takes his chicken fighting very seriously.

You and Heeseung are first up against Seeun and Sunghoon. Heeseung lowers himself underwater so you can get onto shoulders, and you hold onto his head for dear life as he comes back up, loudly releasing the breath he’d been holding in. There’s something thrilling about being so close to Heeseung around the others that you can’t help but giggle for seemingly no reason. You even bend forwards, beaming down at him as you help him push his drenched hair out of his eyes. His eyes meet yours and you giggle together - for a second, it really feels like it’s just the two of you in the pool, but then Jake calls out for you to get ready and starts the countdown for the fight to start.

It’s a bit hard to concentrate on the game when Heeseung’s large hands hold tightly onto your bare thighs, but you do your best to will any impure thoughts away and focus on getting Seeun off of Sunghoon’s shoulders. You both laugh as you grab onto each other, trying to make the other fall while the boys splash each other with water. It’s a tense game that has Jake and Chaeyeong cheering from where they sit on the edge of the pool, and your balance is thrown off a couple times (when Seeun gets into a game, she stops at nothing to win), but Heeseung’s legs are strong and he’s always quick to steady you before you can fall over. 

A loud noise coming from the other kids in the pool momentarily catches your attention, but Seeun immediately pounces on you, not unlike a predator on its prey. With a yelp, you fall back into the water, bringing Heeseung down with you. When you come back to the surface, the sound of your opponents celebrating their victory is no more than a faint ring in your ears - the feeling of Heeseung wrapping his arm around your waist and the way he beams down at you, murmuring that you did a good job, make you forget about everything and everyone around you. Your gazes only stay locked like this for maybe two seconds, but you swear time stops for a bit.

Jake’s voice snaps you out of your daze, and you and Heeseung take his and Chaeyeong’s seats on the side of the pool while they get ready to challenge Seeun and Sunghoon. You’re relieved to find that you actually manage to hoist yourself up out of the water and onto the pool’s edge without making a fool of yourself in front of Heeseung. 

You want to watch the game peacefully and cheer on your friends, but Heeseung is making it a bit hard. He really, really doesn’t need to be sitting this close to you. He’s leaning back on his palms, toned stomach and chest on display, which is already attractive enough, but his right thigh is also pressed flush against your left one, so much so that you know it has to be intentional. Because he’s placed his right palm close behind you, you can feel his right arm against your lower back as well, and you’re almost tempted to lean back against it. 

You’re completely lost in thought, brain only focused on everywhere your body and Heeseung’s touch. It’s like he can see into your mind - he lightly pinches your hip, just underneath the string of your bikini bottoms, and you almost let out a loud gasp. But you manage to keep it down and sit up straight instead, looking at him over your shoulder like he just killed your entire family. He has the audacity to laugh. 

This man really has no shame, rendering you unable to think straight in front of everyone like this. Although, to be fair, it’s also partly your fault for reacting so much to such small things. 

“Hey guys,” a vaguely familiar voice calls out, and you turn your head to find Jiung and Jay walking towards you. There’s a chorus of hey Jiungs from the four in the water, but they quickly get their heads back in the game. Jay stays standing, watching his friends fight while Jiung crouches behind you and Heeseung.

“So are you guys finally together?” he asks excitedly, a genuine grin on his face, and both you and Heeseung choke on your own saliva. Did everyone know about your mutual crushes before you two did?!

You exchange a glance with Heeseung but quickly look away, suddenly finding great interest in Chaeyeong’s and Seeun’s tactics to make each other fall over.

Heeseung’s eyes dart between your face and Jiung’s as he answers, as if scared he might say one wrong word and offend you in some way. “Um, yeah, we are. But we’re not really… telling people, I guess.”

Jiung gasps in delight, clasping Heeseung’s shoulder in what you guess is a congratulatory gesture. “Keeping it lowkey. Got it. Congrats, you guys. Jay told me about you, like, three years ago, and I’ve been weirdly invested ever since,” he admits honestly, and you try hard to fight back the grin threatening to spread on your lips. You’d never even spoken to Choi Jiung before.

From your peripheral, you can make out Heeseung turning his head to glare at his friend. “Thanks a lot, Jay,” he mumbles.

A loud splash catches everyone’s attention; Chaeyeong has fallen off of Jake’s shoulders, and the other two are celebrating their second win in a row. Your friend just laughs, getting her long hair out of her face, but Jake is practically fuming.

“You guys make a pretty good team, I guess,” he says, and even though it’s supposed to be a compliment, he really doesn’t sound happy about it. 

“We do, don’t we?” Sunghoon echoes, looking up at Seeun with a smile.

“We do,” she answers with a giggle.

A giggle.

Seeun didn’t giggle. Unless… 

You lock eyes with Chaeyeong. She looks just as surprised as you feel. You tilt your head towards the two lovebirds, who seem lost in their own world, Sunghoon jumping around in the water with Seeun still on his shoulders and laughing. Chaeyeong nods fervently, as if screaming, “I know, I’m seeing it too!”

Seeun didn’t giggle, unless she had a crush on someone. You very much remember the day in freshman year when her middle school crush Kim Sunwoo, a senior at the time, picked up her locker keys that she had dropped in the hallway. The way she turned around when he tapped on her shoulder, awestruck as he smiled, handing her her keys, was straight out of a movie. She blushed and giggled to herself about it for the next two weeks.

You turn to look at Heeseung, but he’s busy listening to Jake, Jay and Jiung as they come up with a strategy to make the victors lose next time around. You internally roll your eyes at their obliviousness, but at least now you know why Heeseung had never figured out you liked him back.

“C’mon Jiung, let’s go beat their arrogant asses,” Jay then prompts, making his friend chuckle and get into the water. They wade their way towards the others, and when Jiung gets on Jay’s shoulders, Seeun’s game face is back on. Your friend can be quite scary.

“Aren’t you supposed to be watching the pool, lifeguard boy?” Sunghoon taunts like a three-year-old, although you’re not sure that “lifeguard boy” is much of an insult. It’s generally accepted that lifeguards are pretty cool.

“Everyone left, dumbass,” Jiung answers plainly. “It’s just us.”

You all look around, and indeed, the high school kids are gone, which means you have the whole place to yourselves. 

Seeun looks back at Jiung with a smirk. “Good for you. At least those kids won’t see how much of a loser you are when we destroy you and Jay.”

Chaeyeong and Jake ‘ooh’ at her threat while you and Heeseung watch amusedly. You can’t help but think it isn’t that serious, but seeing your friends so into the game is quite fun.

“Bring it on!” Jiung exclaims, and neither team lets Jake count down before they start attacking each other. The poor guy tries to stop Seeun and Jiung from playing so dirty, reminding them that hair-pulling and armpit-tickling are forbidden, but the two really couldn’t care less, so he quickly gives up trying to make them abide by the rules.

Chaeyeong comes to sit next to you and nudges your shoulder with her own to get your attention. “What do you think’s happening with Seeun and Sunghoon? It’s definitely new.”

You almost hear the boys’ necks crack as they whip their heads to look at you. “Something’s happening with Seeun and Sunghoon?” they whisper-scream at the same time. You’re glad the topic subjects are too engrossed in their game to hear anything.

You chuckle at their reaction but Chaeyeong rolls her eyes. “Obviously. They’ve been acting like teenagers this whole evening.”

“They are teenagers,” Heeseung says with a slight frown as he watches his sister and his friend. “They’re eighteen and nineteen.”

Chaeyeong tuts. “That’s not important. Plus, you really don’t get to anything, Heeseung, when you’ve been going around fucking your sister’s best-”

Jake starts immediately howling of laughter, but all you want in that moment is to let yourself drown in the water and never have to face your friend ever again.

Heeseung’s eyes are wide and his hands are frantically shaking ‘no’ as incoherent protests spill out of his lips. “I- no- we haven’t, we’re not-” He sighs defeatedly when Jake just laughs harder and Chaeyeong joins in. 

She knows you guys haven’t done anything of that sort yet, you’ve been telling her - or rather she’s been making you tell her - everything that happens between you and Heeseung. She’s just teasing you, and it’s really working, and you hate her for it. You fix her with a glare that does nothing to make her laughter stop. When you look at Heeseung, his eyebrows have furrowed deeper, and a light blush has spread all over his face, ears and even his neck. With a small pout on his lips, he’s never looked more adorable. Nothing beats the sight of a flustered and slightly mad Heeseung.

His hands have returned to his lap, his right one fidgeting with the hem of his swim trunks. In a moment of boldness, you decide to take it in yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze as you smile at him - to be honest, you were also slightly amused by Chaeyeong’s words. She was right; he really couldn’t say anything about his sister liking one of his friends when he’d made out with you so often. 

You notice with satisfaction that he can’t keep eye contact and that the color on his face deepens.

You all turn back to the tense game in front of you, noting with surprise that Seeun actually seems to have the upper hand over Jiung. She must be a seasoned chicken fighter, because she loses neither her balance nor her grip on Jiung once. The older boy doesn’t even yelp when he falls into the water, as if he’d seen it coming. Beaming proudly, Seeun gets off of Sunghoon’s shoulders and the two share a quick celebratory hug before shaking their opponents’ hands. The four of them swim their way towards you and you all hang out for a while, letting the fighters regain their energy. 

“There’s something I’m not really supposed to do…” Jiung then says, and chuckles when he feels seven pairs of eyes watching him intently. “But I have the keys to the slides, and I know how to operate them.” Everyone cheers before he can even finish his sentence, and Jake and Chaeyeong are quick to get out of the water and run upstairs to the entrance of the slides. Jiung hurries to get the keys and follow them, the rest of you close behind.

Your heart starts beating loudly as soon as you place your foot on the first step. You try to ignore it - you’d never been a fan of attractions like big water slides or roller coasters, but you should get over it one day or another. Might as well try today.

That’s what you keep telling yourself, but once you’ve reached the slides and Jiung gets them running, the loud gush of water falling rapidly makes you feel like you’re going to faint. Seeun’s screams as she goes down, even though they’re from excitement, don’t help your lightheadedness. 

When Jake pushes himself down the slide, you clear your throat to speak. You hadn’t even realized how dry your throat had gotten, and the shakiness in your voice takes you aback. “Um, I think I’m gonna sit this one out, guys. I’m not feeling too well.”

Everyone turns to you with a worried expression, and from your peripheral, you notice Heeseung’s hand jolting up towards you, but he stops himself before he actually touches you.

“Oh yeah, I forgot you don’t like slides,” Chaeyeong says with a pout.

“There’s nothing to be scared of! This is totally safe,” Jiung tries to reassure, but for some reason, his eagerness makes you even more doubtful.

“We can go together,” Heeseung suddenly offers. Judging from his expression, he seems surprised at his own words, as if he’d spoken out loud without realizing it. A chorus of agreement rises from the group, and Heeseung’s smile as he looks down at you makes you think that it might be okay to try - although you’re not sure if that’s because you want to get over your fear of slides, or if it’s because the idea of Heeseung’s arms wrapped tightly around your waist and keeping you safe is very alluring. 

“O-okay,” you answer, and his smile widens.

You wait until everyone except for Jiung has gone down. Heeseung stands behind you the whole time, a calming hand on your shoulder and the other playing with your drying hair, and his presence actually does wonders to soothe you. When it’s your turn, you sit down right at the top of the slide, trying not to freak out from the feeling of the gushes of water underneath your thighs. For once, Heeseung’s touch as he sits behind you, encaging your body between his legs and his arms, is reassuring rather than fatally heart-fluttering. Now you understand what people mean when they say they feel like nothing can hurt them as long as they’re in their lover’s arms.

“You ready?” Jiung calls out. You’re too nervous to make a peep, only able to nod, so Heeseung answers for you.

“We are.” Just before Jiung can give Heeseung a push, the boy behind you bends down to whisper in your ear. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe, okay?”

You hum back but the faint sound is drowned out by the noise around you as you’re whisked down the slide. It’s so loud and so fast that you’re sure you’d have been screaming like you were being murdered had Heeseung not been there to calm you down. The grip you have on his hands probably hurts, but he doesn’t complain, just laughs from the adrenaline the ride is giving him, and his calmness manages to make your heart stay calm.

You hadn’t even realized you’d squeezed your eyes shut until he told you to open them. The previous flashing lights that had overwhelmed you even with your eyes closed were over, and when you blink your eyes open, you’re fascinated to find that there is no top over the slide, letting the stars shine down on you in all their glory. The feeling of the night breeze against your skin is surprisingly refreshing, and you actually let out a ‘wow,’ all of your previous anxiety slowly leaving your body. This time, when Heeseung giggles against your ear, you actually join him. 

Your friends are the sweetest, and when you reach the end of the slide and fall into the water, they’re all clapping and cheering for you as if you’d just come first place in a marathon. You discern a sort of inquisitive look on Seeun’s face as she looks at you and her brother, but you decide to not pay it too much attention and swim away from the slide for Jiung’s arrival.

“So? Wasn’t too bad, right?” Heeseung asks with a grin, his hand sneakily finding yours underwater.

“No, it was nice, actually. Doesn’t mean I’m going a second time, though,” you reply, and he chuckles. You force yourself to look away from his smiling face because you know how easily you can get lost in his gaze, and you’d rather not raise any more suspicion. You swim to the edge of the pool, hoisting yourself up out of the water so you can dry off a bit in the night air.

Jiung whoops his whole way down, and as soon as he comes back to the surface, he asks who wants to go again. Everyone except for you and Heeseung raise their hands. “You’re not going again?” you ask him, eyebrows raised in surprise.

He’s still smiling, and you wished it was just the two of you so you could kiss that pretty smile right off his face. “No, one time was enough for me. I’ll stay here with you.”

This, of course, elicits an obnoxious chorus of ‘ooh’s from your friends. “O-kay,” Chaeyeong says in a singsong voice.

“We’ll leave you two to it, then,” Jake adds with a wiggle of his eyebrows. You hadn’t known you had such murderous tendencies in you until you met this boy.

When you catch Seeun’s gaze, she’s looking at you with slightly raised eyebrows. For a split second, you feel like you’re gonna crumble - she’s gonna figure it out, and she’ll hate you and never speak to you again, and- but then she smiles, just a tiny hint of a smile, and you think that maybe, just maybe, this might be fine after all.

You release a breath you hadn’t even realized you were holding when she walks away with the others, but a second breath gets caught in your throat right away when Heeseung crosses his arms over your lap, and you realize it’s gonna be just you two for a little while now. It’s exactly what you had wished for not even a minute ago, but now that it’s actually happening, your heart starts beating wildly once again. 

“I’m proud of you,” he says quietly, looking up at you with those big brown eyes you adore so much.

A grin breaks out on your face. He closes his eyes, sighing contentedly as your hand rakes through his dark locks. “Thank you,” you reply just as quietly. “I would never have done something like that on my own.”

He opens his eyes again. The way he looks at you makes you wonder what he sees in your eyes that has him so captivated. You just hope he can’t hear the loudness of your beating heart.

He presses himself closer to you, somewhat forcing your thighs open to accommodate his body in between them, and wraps his arms around your waist. Even if he can’t hear your heartbeat, he can surely hear your shaky intake of breath as he places a soft kiss to the top of your thigh before resting his cheek against it, closing his eyes like he’s planning on napping right there. Your fingers are still in his hair but your brain has stopped computing, so they stay immobile. You try to stay calm so as not to disturb the position Heeseung is in, but your stomach has never been so swarmed by butterflies as now. 

Somehow, this feeling is even scarier than going down the slide - maybe because you knew the slide would end at some point. This feels like it might consume you whole and stay with you for the rest of your life. The worst part is you don’t even know exactly what it is that you’re feeling. But it’s everywhere. It makes your fingertips sizzle with electricity, it makes your head almost ache, and it twists your insides all around, but it’s also weirdly pleasant.

It makes you want more.

You can’t believe one simple kiss on your thigh is making you react this way, but now that you’ve felt it, it’s as though you might die if you don’t get to have it over and over again; you already know that a second or a third time won’t be enough either.

“Heeseung?” you call, his name coming out like a question, and his head whips up so quickly you think he might have been waiting for you to say something.

“Yeah?” he replies, something that sounds like anticipation making his voice come out as a whisper. 

You weren’t even completely sure what it was you wanted to say, but the way Heeseung looks up at you eradicates any train of thought you’d had. It’s a different type of gaze than before, something you’d only gotten glimpses of during particularly heated make-out sessions but that Heeseung had always seemed to reign in. Hooded eyes that are darker than usual, that seem to be in some sort of a daze, giving the impression that he isn’t quite thinking straight. You’re sure you’ve also had that look in your eyes more than once, when Heeseung’s hand brushed along a particularly sensitive spot on your back or when he absent-mindedly thrusted his hips against yours as you straddled his lap in the backseat, making you moan into his mouth as he hurriedly apologized for getting carried away. You didn’t know how to tell him you were ready for whatever it was he wanted, so you always shushed him with an “it’s okay” and resumed kissing him feverishly. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t press yourself down against his bulge - that neither of you mentioned, but both knew was there - just to get a reaction out of him once in a while, and to get that fire-like feeling in your belly you were starting to crave more and more.

You try to push those far-from-innocent thoughts away from your mind and come up with something to say, but then someone disturbs your peace. Indeed, you hear Jake before you see him. “Heeseung and Y/N, you better not be smooching when I get there!”

Heeseung sighs deeply, a real, pained, frustrated sigh, and you’re glad you’re not the only one going crazy because of your friends. It’s like everyone has forgotten that you and Heeseung are supposed to be a secret. Reluctantly, he detaches himself from you and makes his way next to you, body still in the water but forearms resting on the ground next to the pool.

Another hour or so passes before stomachs start growling from too much fooling around in the water and you all agree to go home. Sadly, there’s nothing open so late in the night in your town, and none of you can be asked to drive all the way to the nearest city for food. On the whole drive home, Chaeyeong bombards Seeun with questions about Sunghoon. Seeun tries to avoid it at first, looking out the window to hide her growing blush, but once the two girls are similar in that once they have set their mind on something, you know they’ll get it. It only takes two minutes of arguing for Seeun to start spilling. 

“Well… I’ve known him for a really long time, right? Him and Jay became friends right away, just like the three of us did. I’ve always associated him with Heeseung, so I never thought of him that way…”

“What way?” Chaeyeong cuts in, although she knows exactly what Seeun means.

“Like- like more than a friend,” Seeun explains, voice getting quieter the more she speaks. Chaeyeong squeals in excitement and you chuckle.

“So what happened?” Chaeyeong prompts, and you almost want to remind her to focus on the road. You don’t need to get into a car accident over Seeun’s love life.

Seeun sighs like she’s exasperated by Chaeyeong, but you catch her small smile in the rearview mirror and you know she’s actually happy to be talking about this with you guys. “So, you know that movie night we had?” she starts, waiting for the two of you to nod. You try not to think about what you did on that movie night. “Well, we were sitting next to each other, which usually would’ve been totally fine, right, but for some reason, it made me feel super nervous that night. Like I was hyper-aware of his presence next to me. I could actually smell him, and oh my God, he smells so good, I don’t know how I’d never realized that-”

You and Chaeyeong burst into laughter at that, and Seeun can’t help but join in. “Smelling good is definitely attractive,” you chime in, thinking about how intoxicating it is to have your nose buried in the crook of Heeseung’s neck and get a whiff of his scent.

“And, like, I’ve always known Sunghoon was handsome, right, I’m not blind, but I swear I never felt a particular type of way about him before then, just ‘cause I always saw him as one of my loser brother’s loser friends,” she says, and you make a mental note to repeat that to Heeseung later, “And at first I thought I was going crazy, that I was just feeling that way ‘cause we were sitting so close together in a dark room and everything, but then our knees touched, and I was like, ‘okay, I shouldn’t be losing my shit just ‘cause our knees touched,’ but I was losing my shit-”

She’s retelling the story in such a dramatic, un-Seeun-like and very Chaeyeong-like way that you can’t stop laughing, your stomach almost starting to hurt. “Which is why I went to bed during the second movie. And after that, I was thinking about him so much it was so weird, and I thought I was doomed ‘cause I didn’t wanna have a crush on my brother’s best friend, right?” she says, and Chaeyeong’s and your eyes meet for a second in the mirror. “But then you know that fair thing they had in town last week? You guys wouldn’t volunteer with me, but he was volunteering too, so we spent, like, three days in a row together, and it was really, really fun. We would spend the whole day together, eat together, even hang out afterwards and everything. And then we started texting, and today was the first time we saw each other again since then, actually…” She takes a deep breath there and laughs, as if relieved to have finally let it all out. 

“This is amazing news. Absolutely fantastic news,” Chaeyeong beams. “How come you didn’t tell us sooner?”

“I really wanted to but I was scared I was making up a bunch of stuff in my mind and he still saw me as nothing more than his best friend’s sister. If it had been someone else I would’ve told you guys immediately, but I don’t know, I was already trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was starting to like this guy I’ve known my whole life, so I wasn’t ready to talk about it.”

If it had been someone else I would’ve told you guys immediately. You know that feeling all too well. It makes you think that you should just go ahead and tell Seeun about you and Heeseung, but after years of conditioning yourself that she could never find out about your crush on her brother, and now that you’re dating him, it’s not easy to just come out with it.

Your attention had drifted away from the conversation for a bit but you tune back in when Chaeyeong mentions college. “Plus, he goes to our state university, right? Just like us! That means you guys don’t have to worry about long distance, same for Heeseung and Y/N-” Chaeyeong’s eyes widen immediately when she realizes what she did. 

“Heeseung and Y/N?” Seeun echoes, searching for your face in the rearview mirror.

Once more, you can thank your friend’s impeccable bullshitting abilities. “Oh, no, I just meant that even though she’s going to a different college than us, she’ll still know someone there. Not that they wouldn’t have to worry about long distance like you and Sunghoon.”

“Right,” Seeun answers, eyes still fixated on you in the mirror. An uncomfortable beat passes before she speaks again. “But is there… is there something happening between you and Heeseung, Y/N?”

You’d seen the question coming, but it still somehow manages to punch you in the stomach. Before you can even think of a way to tell your friend the truth in the most delicate way possible, your reflexes and old habits kick in. “No,” you simply reply, the lie coming to you way too easily. You hope she doesn’t notice the slight tremble in your voice - you’re definitely not as good a liar as Chaeyeong. “I mean, we’ve gotten closer this summer, but that’s about it.” 

Chaeyeong stays silent, her eyes on the road. You’re less than a minute away from Seeun’s house, but you wish you could just get there already and have this conversation be over.

“Okay, if you say so,” she says, not sounding fully convinced. “But, you know, if there was, I wouldn’t- I wouldn’t be mad. A little weirded out, maybe, but not mad.” She’s looking at you so intently as she says this that you think she must know, otherwise she wouldn’t be saying all this. It’s like she’s asking you to just tell her, but still, you can’t bring yourself to do it. As if you’ve dug your own grave and have to lie in it.

Heeseung’s car is already in the driveway when you reach the Lees’ house, and he must have already gone up to his room because he isn’t in the kitchen or in the living room. You feel a slight pang of disappointment in your heart at the thought of not seeing him again tonight, even though it’s already so late, but you have a feeling you’ll stay up for hours thinking about his warm hands and his lips.

“Shower then food?” Seeun proposes when you’re all done taking your shoes off. You all nod and head up to her room. Just then, your phone buzzes with a text from Heeseung. Then another, and another, and the sound piques your friends’ interest. 

“Who’s spamming you?” Chaeyeong asks, but she figures it out as soon as she sees the lovestruck smile on your face.

“Oh, just a groupchat I’m in,” you reply without looking up from your phone.

hee: Can you drop by my room? hee: Find an excuse to leave and come and see me :D hee: I want to see you. hee: Oh sorry about the period I know you don’t like that hee: I want to see you &lt;;3 hee: !!!!!!!!! hee: Please you: be there in a min hee you: i wanna see u too hee: K hee: :DDD

“Y/N, you wanna go first?” Seeun asks, snapping you out of it.

“Huh?”

“The shower. You wanna go first?” she repeats, amused by your sudden weird behavior.

“Oh, actually, um, I remembered my mom wanted to go to the farmers’ market at, like, nine tomorrow, so I should probably just sleep at home,” you say, which is actually true. You’ve never been so thankful for your mom’s love of organic and local produce. Thankfully, your friends also know about it, so they don’t question it at all and just wish you a good night.

Little do they know that you’re actually headed straight for Heeseung’s bedroom rather than your own. Normally, your paranoid brain would tell you that your friends, especially Seeun, might question why they didn’t hear the sound of the front door closing, but you doubt they’ll actually be paying attention to it.

You make a beeline for Heeseung’s room, not wanting to be caught by one of the girls as they go to the bathroom. Heeseung seems to be waiting for you, because you’ve barely knocked on his door and he’s already taking your hand, pulling you into his room.

It’s the first time you’ve been here since you were a kid, and you’re sure there’s many things on the walls and shelves to pick Heeseung’s brain about, any and every piece of himself interesting to you, but there’s one thing that stands out to you; it’s just the two of you in here. It makes your heart skip a beat in anticipation.

“Where’s Jake?”

Heeseung smiles shyly and looks down at your question. “I sort of, um, kicked him out.” You whip your head towards him at his words, looking at him with wide eyes. He chuckles. “I made him sleep over at Jay’s house. I really wanted to sneak you in here tonight.”

And just to make sure you really understand what he means by that, he fixes you with a look that can’t be misinterpreted. His eyes rake up and down your body as he approaches you, his smirk growing when he sees the obvious effect it has on you. He places his hands on your hips and he’s close enough for you to see how dilated his pupils are. He almost looks hungry, like he could just eat you whole, and it makes you weak in the knees. Heat rises to your face when you think about what must be going on in his head, especially since it’s probably not far from the thoughts that have been plaguing you for a while now. Unconsciously, you bring your legs closer together, and the way his eyes dip down then back up to your face with an arch of his brow like he knows what you’re thinking drives you slightly insane.

You don’t realize you’ve been staring at him until he tilts his head at you, an amused expression on his face. “What is it, doll?” he asks, but his tone makes you inclined to think he knows exactly what it is.

You also know, but you don’t know how to put it into words. So, instead, you take a step closer to him and wrap your arms around his waist, burying your face in the dip between his neck and shoulder. He smells like chlorine and something that’s entirely his, and you swear you’ve never smelled anything so intoxicating in your life. “Heeseung,” you murmur, voice muffled as your lips move against his skin.

“Yes?” he answers in that same amused, knowing tone. Your clear-mindedness starts to slip away from you as it often does when you’re near him.

When you repeat his name, this time more whiny as you wrap your arms tighter and bury your face deeper, he chuckles softly, a low, deep sound that sends electrifying shivers right down your spine. He places both hands on the sides of your face to make you lean back and look up at him. He can’t help but chuckle again at the pout on your lips, although your slightly hooded eyes make his stomach twist into the familiar tight knot of desire.

“I was gonna take a shower, if you’d like to join me,” he says, a glint of mischief playing in his eyes, and your own widening immediately at his words, or rather at the meaning behind them.

“A shower?!” you whisper-yell back. 

He just laughs again and nods. “Mh-hm. We can keep our swimsuits on.” He looks down at you, at your eyes that are still wide, but now more out of anticipation than shock, at the way they seem to search for reassurance in his own. You seem to find what you’re looking for, because you nod.

“We just have to wait until Seeun and Chaeyeong are done, okay? I told Seeun to text me when the bathroom’s free.”

A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips when you nod again. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, then bends down to close the distance between the two of you, just as he’s done many times before, by pressing his lips to yours. He wants to tell you that he’s fine with whatever you want to do; that you can go as fast or as slow as you want; that no matter what, he’ll always be there to hold you and kiss you and call you pretty.

But he’s not the best with words, so he opts for kissing you gently instead, probably the slowest kiss you’ve ever shared, as if he's scared you might suddenly run away from him and he'll lose your warmth.

He’s never been as relieved as when he feels you not only reciprocating the kiss, but deepening it, asking for more when you start to whine into his mouth and slightly claw at his back. It takes everything in him to pull away from you, but there’s more comfortable ways to make out, including ones that don’t involve you bending your neck backwards trying to reach his lips, so he tugs at your hand for you to follow him. “C’mere,” he says, leading you to his bed. He sits on the edge, and, with a smile you can only describe as devilish, pats his lap for you to straddle. 

You oblige immediately, of course, and even though you’ve done this many times before, it feels like the backseat of his car and his bed are worlds apart. It feels charged with an intimacy you two haven’t quite shared before, like you’re finally letting go of everything that might’ve been holding you back before and you’re now ready to take a step further together. 

At least, that’s how you feel, but if the way he sighs into your mouth as soon as you press your lips to his, and the way his hands roam your back like trying not to leave an inch of your body untouched are anything to go by, then it seems like he feels the same way.

There’s a desperation to the kiss that makes your whole body feel like it’s on fire. Your hands quickly make their way to what seems their favorite place, Heeseung’s hair, and your fingers rake through it, gripping at the strands like you might float into space if you let go of him. His hands slowly make their way down your back until they reach your ass, sneaking underneath your loose shorts to grab at the skin underneath. He brings you closer to him, pressing you down onto his bulge, and it hits such a sweet spot between your thighs that you can’t fight back against the moan that makes its way out of your lips.

Heeseung is quick to shush you, and for some reason, it only makes the fire in your belly burn harder. “Shh, you have to be quiet, doll. Can you do that for me?” He continues to guide your movements against him, rubbing over that spot over and over again. Your forehead falls against his shoulder, and you know you can’t answer him, because if a sound comes out of mouth, it’ll be a moan, and not words.

But Heeseung isn’t happy with that. “Hm? I asked you a question, Y/N.”

What he is happy with is the whimper you let out at his words. “Y-yes, I’ll be quiet,” you breathe out like even saying a few words is too complicated for you.

“That’s a good girl,” he says, and even though you were already a mess before, these are the words that really do you in. With a small whine, you wrap your arms tight around his neck and bury your face where his jawline meets his ear, hoping that any sound coming from your mouth will be muffled there. You know there’s no point trying to kiss him right now; you won’t be able to focus on that and grind on him at the same time. 

Truth be told, Heeseung has little to no idea what he’s doing. He’s never gotten this far with anyone before, and now that he’s assumed a more dominant position, since that’s what he’d gathered you’d like from your backseat sessions, he’s scared he might have made this a lot harder for him. He wants to do his best for you and guide you through what he knows are your first sexual or even romantic experiences, but the thing is, this is also the first time for him. It’s the first time he’s had this intense, almost ravaging craving to go further with someone, to touch and be touched and just cherish every single inch of someone’s body. 

All he knows about sex, he’s gathered from porn, conversations with his guy friends, and Yunjin’s “spicy” romance novels. He has enough critical thinking skills to know that none of these are a hundred percent reliable sources, but he figured that the novels would be the closest to what women actually like.

He’d been scared sex and everything around it would be the most complicated puzzle he’d have to put together in his life. But in reality, he’s been relieved to find everything has come fairly easily. He just has to pay attention to the things you like; you like it when he takes the lead, so he does; you like it when he compliments you, so he does; you like it when he presses kisses all over your face and neck, so he does. He knows there’s still many things you like that he hasn’t found out about, but he’s more than eager to learn about each and every one of them. Apparently, you really like whatever it is the two of you are doing right now, so much so that he can feel your legs start to shake and can hear you containing your moans, so he keeps on doing it.

As for him? Well, he likes you. His biggest turn-on is seeing you turned on. Seeing your swollen lips and heavy eyelids after a make-out session, hearing your small moans and heavy breathing, feeling you rest your body against his and letting him make you feel good, like you’re doing right now, that’s what gets him going. He’s always so focused on your pleasure that he could almost forget about his own. So, it’s only when you announce through broken moans that you think you’re gonna cum that he realizes he’s dangerously close to finishing too. “That’s okay, baby, cum for me,” he coos, and that’s all you need to come undone.

He really wants to keep it in, really doesn’t want to jizz inside his pants like a highschooler, but it’s to no avail. In his defense, it’s really, really hard not to when you’re holding onto him like your life depends on it and when his name, sounding so pretty on your lips, is the only thing you can say as you cum against him. It’s something right out of a young Heeseung wet dream, and now that present-day Heeseung is actually experiencing it, he can say with pride that this is much better than a dream.

You both take a few seconds to come down from your highs, the first that you’ve shared together. It feels surreal. When you find the strength to lift your head and face Heeseung again, the look on his face is so hot, you think you might cum again from the sight alone. Hair sticking to his forehead, already-plump lips completely red, wet and swollen and curled up into a small smile. You press your foreheads together and laugh for no reason other than you couldn’t get happier than this. Your smile doesn’t leave your lips as you kiss him again. You’re only eighteen, but you don’t think life gets much better than this.

Then Heeseung’s phone dings with a text from Seeun: bathroom’s free. Heeseung looks at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes that wasn’t there a minute ago. “Wanna go get cleaned up?”

You giggle at his renewed eagerness and nod, letting him take your hand and guide you stealthily to the bathroom he and Seeun share. Thank God for locks.

Once inside, he lets go of your hand and turns on the mirror light rather than the bright, harsh overhead one, giving the room a more comfortable atmosphere. There’s a neck-scratching moment where neither you or Heeseung know what to do, your eyes darting nervously around the room, but it passes by when Heeseung turns around, quickly strips down to his swimming trunks once more and gets into the shower. He has his back next to you when he turns it on and finds his desired temperature, but he leaves the shower door open for you - you know he’s waiting for you to get in with him, but you’re stuck in place as you watch the water fall rapidly down his back and his muscles slightly shift out of relaxation. 

You’d seen him half-naked and wet just an hour ago, and it’d already messed with your head, but this was so much worse. Maybe it was the heat slowly rising in the room, maybe it was the fact that you could join him at any moment and get to touch him, whatever it was, it was making it hard to breathe. You practically choke when he turns back around, facing you and smiling when he realizes you haven’t moved an inch. 

“You’re not coming?” he asks quietly, and you know you can’t just stand and stare forever - you’ve done too much of that already. Your heart beats like crazy as you pull your sweatshirt over your head, then rid yourself of your shorts, because although he’d already seen you in your swimsuit, it’s nerve-wracking to undress right when you know he’s watching.

His smile hasn’t left his face when you step in and close the shower door, and he’s looking at you so intently that you have to focus on something other than his eyes, so you settle on his collarbones. Everything about him is pretty, you realize. 

You suck in a breath when he places one of his hands on your waist, then the other, and makes you get under the water with him. It’s the perfect temperature for you, not too hot that it burns but just enough to make your skin tingle, and you wonder how many more of these small things you have in common. 

“Y/N…” he says quietly, just loud enough for you to hear over the sound of the shower. You finally dare to meet his eyes. “Have I ever told you how pretty you are?” he asks with a smile, and just like that, you have to look away again, resting your forehead against his shoulder to hide your flustered expression from him. Receiving a compliment from Heeseung is one thing, being in the shower with him is another; both happening at the same time is too much for you to handle. Somehow cumming in his lap wasn’t enough to rid you completely of your shyness around him. He chuckles at your reaction and wraps an arm around your waist while his other hand caresses up and down your back. 

“You have,” you manage to reply even though his touch is close to making your mind go blank.

“Well, let me say it again.” He bends down so that his mouth is right by your ear, lips tickling it when he speaks next. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

His words paired with his low voice make your core throb. You try not to gulp when he stands back up to his full height and smirks down at you - even though it’s impossible that he’s grown any taller in the last hour, it still feels like he towers over you much more than before. 

He doesn’t say anything more, your reaction apparently enough to satisfy him, and he reaches behind you for the body wash. He squeezes a dollop of it into his palm, and you think he’ll clean himself up, so you let out a small ‘oh’ of surprise when his hands touch the area above your chest, then start to spread the gel all over your arms, back and stomach. You watch as he lowers himself to lather your legs in the product as well, and you’re not sure why the sight of Heeseung looking up at you from this position makes your heart flutter so much. The illusion is slightly broken, though, when he decides to press a kiss to your stomach but immediately regrets it. “Soap,” he simply says before rinsing his lips with the shower water.

You laugh and shake your head at him. “You’re so cute sometimes, you know that?” you say, the words tumbling out of your mouth naturally, and press your lips to his in a chaste kiss. When you lean back, Heeseung is staring right at you, stunned.

“I’m the one who does that,” he says, a light tone of protest to his voice.

“Does what?”

“Compliments you then kisses you,” he answers with a pout, but it only makes you laugh more.

You wrap your arms around him, pressing yourself flush against him and letting the water fall on top of your bodies. Before you can even comprehend the thought forming in your head at that moment, your lips betray you and words fall out of them against your will. “God, I love you so much.”

In the split second after you’ve said that, the realization hits you and your whole body stiffens. Slowly, your heart threatening to jump out of your chest, you lean back to see Heeseung’s reaction. He looks down at you in a mix of shock and pure, unfiltered happiness, eyebrows raised high but his smile reaches his ears. “You love me, huh?”

“Heeseung, I-”

“Good, because I love you too, Y/N.”

All the dread you felt rushes out of your body and is immediately replaced with relief. In the minute you’d realized you actually loved Heeseung and didn’t just have a big fat crush on him, you had the reassurance that he loved you, too. Life really can’t get any better than this.

Your lips find each other like second nature, but kissing is hard when you’re both so high on your confessions that you can’t stop giggling. You feel your whole body melt for him when he starts peppering kisses all over your face, saying “I love you” in between each peck. 

You take his face in your hands to steady his head and kiss him on the lips, a deep, firm kiss that has him wrapping his arms tightly around you and bringing you close to him. It’s like a switch flips inside of him, and all his playfulness transforms into intensity, and suddenly all he can think about is your lips on his and your body against his. You try not to gulp at the feeling of his growing hardness pressed against your stomach. What you’d done on the bed earlier had opened up a whole new world of sensation for the both of you to discover, and you found that you were already craving it again. 

There’s not much to be said in a situation like this; you both know what the other is thinking, it’s just a matter of who will act first. Usually, you’d rely on Heeseung to make the first move, or you’d do it yourself if you were feeling impatient; but right now, he seems to be enjoying making you squirm and taking his sweet time, hands roaming your back like he doesn’t know you’re desperate for more.

So you do what you’re usually too shy to do, and ask for what you want directly. “Heeseung, please,” you plead quietly against his lips, eyes shut tight as if in pain.

You can feel the smile that grows on his lips at your words. “Please, what?”

You take a shaky breath in and press wet kisses along his jawline before you answer. “Make me feel good, please.”

“Anything you want, doll.” 

You can feel the blood pumping through your veins as you wait for whatever Heeseung will do next, but for some reason, he’s decided not to do anything in a hurry. He slows the kiss down as his fingers trail up and down your sides at snail’s pace, and you have half a mind to just tell him to hurry up already, but there’s something delicious about being on edge like this, desperately waiting for your release.

One of his hands then makes its way to your back, finding the string of your bikini top and playing with it. “Can I take this off?” he asks, voice barely audible over the sound of the water. As soon as you nod, he unties it and pulls the fabric away from your body, letting it drop at his feet and leaving your upper body completely naked for him. Your cheeks blaze under his fascinated eyes, but in that moment, his gaze really does make you feel like the prettiest girl in the world.

His other hand that had patiently rested on your waist makes its way up your front until it reaches your breasts. 

You hadn’t even known your nipples were this sensitive until his palm brushes against one of them, making your body jolt of its own accord. Heeseung seems to like that reaction, so he starts playing with it more, twisting it lightly between his fingers, eliciting moans from you (that you try to keep down, still conscious of the fact that anyone in the house might hear you if you were too loud) and making your back arch involuntarily. 

As his hand drifts to your other breast to pay your other nipple some well-deserved attention, you decide that Heeseung deserves as much attention as he’s giving you right now. Slowly, almost innocently, your hand snakes its way down his chest and abs to his trunks. You palm him over the fabric, hoping it makes him feel as good as his hand on your breast makes you feel. As his ministrations continue, your breathing gets shallower and shallower, but you’re glad to be having a similar effect on him - he rests his forehead against yours as a breathy moan escapes his lips, and you know you’re not doing as bad a job as you think you might be. 

“Y/N,” he breathes out after a minute of this. You hum. “I think my self-control is starting to wear out,” he says, voice shaky as his hand makes its way down your side. His touch burns more than the scorching shower water.

“Good,” you simply reply, and press your lips to his. You can let go is what you’re trying to convey through your kiss as it turns hungrier, needier, more impatient. 

Apparently he gets the message, because he’s quick to push you against the shower wall, left hand behind your head and the other holding on tight to your hip. He presses himself against you, letting you know just how much he wants you, and you can’t help the whimper that escapes your lips. This seems to spur him on - so slowly it hurts, his hand makes its way from your hips to the front of your panties. You’ve been waiting for this for so long that you feel like you might come undone right away when he’s barely even touched you.

You let out an involuntary moan when he presses his palm against your clothed sex, but he’s quick to shut you up with a kiss. He continues such ministrations for a bit, unhurriedly rubbing two fingers up and down your core. If he’s going slow so as not to overwhelm you, it doesn't work - you can already feel a familiar knot twisting in your stomach. You can’t even kiss him back anymore, too caught up in the feeling of his hand touching you exactly where you need him, so he settles on kissing your face and your neck. 

You swear a little bit of your soul actually leaves your body when he slips his hand underneath your bikini. He trails two fingers up along your slit, watching your face intently in the hopes that your reaction will tell him when he’s found your sensitive spot. You’ve never felt anything other than your own fingers there, and the sensation is breathtaking, especially when he starts rubbing small circles right onto your clit.

“Let me know if it feels good, okay? I’ve never actually done this before,” he admits with a small chuckle. Your eyes shoot open and you grab onto his forearm, making him halt his motions as panic bubbles inside him. “What? Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?”

“You’ve never done this before?” you echo his words back at him like there’s no way they might be true.

He smiles shyly and looks away, an odd mix of shame and pride at your reaction. “No, I haven’t.”

“Wow,” you breathe out, disbelieving. “You seem to know exactly what you’re doing, this whole time, I thought you were like, a sex expert or something.” 

He laughs again and quickly resumes his previous actions, and any surprise you might have felt at his confession is thrown out the window when his fingers move against your clit again. “I promise you I’m making it up as I go.”

“You’re amazing,” you reply.

You can feel yourself getting wetter by the second, Heeseung’s fingers going at the perfect speed and putting the exact right amount of your pressure against you like he’s done this his whole life. “Am I making you feel good?” he asks, a rhetorical question that he has to know the answer to considering your body’s reaction to him, but you still do him the favor of answering. 

“You are. Feels so, so good, Hee,” you sigh as his fingers leave your clit and start to tease at your entrance. Heeseung sighs, too, but more out of exasperation than out of pleasure.

“Let’s get rid of this, hm?” he offers, already pulling your swimming bottoms down your legs and discarding them next to your top. “It’ll be easier like this,” he says, and before you know it, he’s pushed a finger inside you, and you let out the loudest moan you have all night at the feeling.

Heeseung chuckles as he shushes you gently. “Quiet, baby, okay? I know it feels good, but we don’t want to wake anyone up, now, do we?”

You shake your head fervently at his words, but in a twisted way, you care more about your current pleasure than about anyone catching you and Heeseung in the middle of the act. He curls his finger inside you, brushing right against that spot that has you seeing stars, and you let your body grow heavy, trusting him to hold you up when your legs stop working. As if one wasn’t enough, he adds a second finger, thrusting them inside you at an increasing pace that has your thighs shaking sooner than you’d like to admit.

“H-heeseung, oh my God,” you murmur, and that’s somehow enough for Heeseung to understand.

“Gonna cum, doll?”

You barely manage to answer him, your second high of the night approaching faster than you expect it to. Fingers still inside you, Heeseung brings his thumb to rub against your clit again, and five seconds later, you’re cumming all over his hands, body shaking against him and holding onto him throughout it all. You try to be as quiet as possible, and Heeseung presses his lips against yours to stifle any sound, but a few whimpers and broken moans still escape your lips.

When he’s slipped his fingers out of you, you hug him tightly, taking a few seconds to regain your breath as you come down from your high. “You did so well, baby,” Heeseung praises, lips moving against your temple before he presses a kiss there, and his words alone make you whine again. 

As soon as your sanity has somehow made its way back into your head, you remember your boyfriend’s pleasure and you press your hand against his bulge once more. He lets out a shaky breath as you start to rub your hand up and down his shaft over his swimming trunks. “You don’t have to,” he says quietly, eyes screwed shut in pleasure. 

“I want to,” you reassure, dipping your fingers under the waistband of his trunks so he gets the message. When he takes them off, his fully hard dick slaps against his stomach, and even though you haven’t seen a great amount of dicks in your life, you recognize a big dick when you see one.

It’s always the nerdy, lanky ones.

As you take him in your hand, you look up at him with a sheepish smile. “I’ve never done this, so tell me if it feels good, yeah?”

He takes a deep breath as if trying to steady himself, but his eyes stay closed. “It already feels better than anything you could imagine, baby.”

“But I’m not doing anything,” you say, slightly confused.

“Still.”

You chuckle, and Heeseung almost joins in, but any laughter is ripped from his throat as your hand, formed in a fist loosely gripping him, makes its way down his shaft, then back up. It’s a clumsy motion, and he can tell you’re doing this for the first time, but it drives him crazy anyway. The sole fact that it’s you touching him is enough to turn him into a whimpering mess. 

He has to keep himself from moaning loudly and waking up the whole house when your palm brushes against his tip, but thankfully, you notice his reaction right away. As you continue jerking him off, you make sure to pay particular attention to his tip, sweeping your thumb over it every time your hand reaches it. Fascinated, you watch the rise and fall of Heeseung’s chest, the clench of his abs, and the way his beautiful pink lips part, and listen intently to any sound that might come out of them. He’s much less chatty than before, and you can’t help but ask for reassurance from him. “Does it feel good, Hee?”

The worried tone in your voice makes his eyes flicker open. “Of course, baby. Feels amazing,” he answers with a breathless chuckle. You beam at him, and the contrast between your innocent, happy expression and the motions of your hand actually makes him see double until he closes his eyes again.

You press yourself closer to him so you can leave kisses all over his neck, paying particular attention to his Adam’s apple that you know is sensitive. You’re so close that you can feel your own hand against your stomach as you fist it up and down his shaft, slowly picking up speed. You bite down against his neck, not hard enough to leave a mark but definitely hard enough to garner a moan from him, and he can feel his orgasm is mere moments away by now.

“Wanna make you feel as good as you made me feel,” you whisper before pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Love you so much, Hee,” you say, your voice almost a moan, and that’s what drives him over the edge. Knowing that you love him.

He spills his seed all over your hand and stomach with a choked moan and finds your lips to trap them in a feverish kiss. Just like before, the immediate reaction for the both of you is to laugh; coming down from your high and helping the other reach theirs make you feel like you’re on top of the world. You help rinse each other and you spend another five minutes shampooing the other’s hair to get the chlorine out of it, but after that, you’re out of the shower, realizing that your hands and feet have started pruning after what could have been anything between twenty minutes and two hours in the shower.

No matter how many times you tell him you can do it yourself, Heeseung insists on helping you dry off, making sure there’s not a droplet of water on your body before you head back to his room together, just as stealthily as you’d come earlier. You really hoped the sound of the shower was enough to cover any sound you made and that everyone was sleeping too deeply to realize how much time you’d spent in there anyway.

Heeseung quickly puts on clean underwear before getting into bed, then watches you with a lazy smile as you put your panties, shorts and tank top back on. “What are you staring at?” you grumble because even after everything, his intent stare makes you shy.

“You.”

You should have expected it, but it still makes your heart flutter. You can’t even pretend to be annoyed, not bothering to hide your grin as you get into bed with him, snuggling up to him and sighing in contentment at the feeling of his warmth against you. You’d daydreamed one too many times dreaming about what it must feel like falling asleep next to Heeseung, or even better, in his arms, and it was finally happening. You rest your head against his chest, listening to his calming heartbeat while his fingers rake through your hair in a soothing manner. 

“I’m spent,” you murmur against his skin. “I think I’m gonna fall asleep in two seconds.”

“Me too,” he chuckles, then presses a kiss to the top of your head. “Sleep, baby. We’ll talk more in the morning.”

“Okay,” you whisper, nuzzling yourself closer against him and letting sleep wash over your tired body.

--

You wish you could say that you wake up the next morning because of the sunlight pouring on your face or because of Heeseung peppering your face with kisses and awaking you, but really, it’s just your 8 a.m. alarm reminding you you have to go to the market with your mom. The sound jolts you awake, like someone just poured a bucket of cold water over you. You and Heeseung have somehow barely budged from the position you fell asleep in and you want nothing more than to stay there for a couple more hours, but a promise is a promise, so with a sigh, you start to sit up. 

When Heeseung feels your body shift away from his, his arm tightens its hold around your waist almost out of its own accord, pulling you back to him. “Just five more minutes,” he pleads, voice slightly whiny and still dripping with sleep that makes butterflies erupt all over your stomach. You give in immediately.

“Just five,” you repeat, and he hums in satisfaction.

But five turns into ten turns into twenty, and when your alarm rings again, it’s already thirty past eight, and you only have fifteen minutes to go home and get ready before your mom will want to leave. 

You sigh and, once again, start to pry your limbs away from Heeseung’s, but, once again, he stops you before you can get off the bed, hand coming to grab your wrist gently. You sit up and smile affectionately down at him, brushing away the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes during the night. He blinks his eyes open but can only look at you for a few seconds before he shuts them again, trying to hide his flustered expression under his forearm, but you can still make out his smile and the growing blush on his cheeks.

“What?” you ask quietly in the silence of the room, chuckling at your boyfriend’s cuteness.

“I just remembered last night,” he says, letting his forearm fall away from his face so he can see your reaction.

Your smile grows and you continue to play with his hair as images of last night flood your mind, a sort of fluster enveloping your whole body and making you feel light. You bend over to press soft kisses to his forehead, to his cheek, and then to his lips before burying your face in the crook of his neck. His hand comes up naturally to your back, slipping under the thin fabric to graze his fingernails across your exposed skin.

“Last night was amazing, Hee. Thank you so much,” you whisper, trying not to get carried away by the feeling of his caresses.

“The pleasure’s all mine,” he replies, kissing the top of your head and burying his nose there to inhale the scent of your hair. 

You count down from ten, and on zero, you sigh, pushing yourself from Heeseung for good this time. “Okay, I really have to go now.” He sits up with you, fixing you with a pout, but you won’t let him use his cuteness against you and trick you into staying. “I’ll text you when I’m done, okay?”

“Okay. I’ll walk you downstairs.” When he sees you about to protest, he puts on his best smile, akin to one that an athlete would wear after winning first place. “I wanna kiss you goodbye.” 

You roll your eyes but your smile makes it obvious how delighted you are that he wants to be with you ‘til the very last second. You gather your stuff and head into the hallway. You know his parents are already at work, and even though Chaeyeong and Seeun usually sleep in until much later than now, you still want to make sure they’re asleep. You gesture at Heeseung to be quiet as you peer inside Seeun’s room quickly and quietly - if they wake up, you can just say you forgot something yesterday and came back to get it quickly, and if they don’t, you’re pretty safe to escape without getting caught.

When they don’t budge an inch, you close her door again and head down the stairs to the entrance where your shoes lay. You check your phone and realize with dread that your mom’s not going to be very happy with you, but you don’t have it in you to push Heeseung away when he insists on helping you into your shoes (they’re slip-ons) and when he wraps his arm around your middle, bringing you in for another kiss. You let yourself melt under his touch - it’s not like thirty seconds will make much of a difference now that you’re already late anyway.

“You do know that if we’re caught kissing here, we’re dead?” you breathe, pulling away slightly from Heeseung to speak. You’re still so close that you feel his lips move against yours as they curl up into a smirk.

“I know, but I wanna risk it.” And just like that, his lips are back on yours, and all other thoughts are blown away like feathers in the wind.

It’s almost dangerous how you can’t think of anything else when you’re this close to Heeseung. How his scent, his warmth, the feel of his skin and his hair under your hands fill your mind up to the brim. It’s dangerous because it’s precisely in moments like these that you should think before you act, before you let yourself be consumed by him. And it’s moments like these that you look back on later and curse yourself for being so foolish.

“Heeseung? Y/N?”

Alarm fills your body as soon as you hear Seeun’s shaky voice calling out your names. She looks down at you from the stairwell, shock evident on her face and her eyes immediately welling up with tears. Your hands let go of Heeseung’s t-shirt and your arms fall limp at your sides, but other than that, you’re frozen in place. You watch as Seeun’s eyes dart between you and Heeseung and as she realizes that you’ve been hiding something big from her; that you even lied straight to her face. 

It’s only when a sob escapes her lips and she whips around, heading back upstairs to her room, that you snap out of it. You immediately go to follow her, but Heeseung calls out your name as his hand reaches out to grab your wrist. You look down at where your bodies touch, and your gazes lock just as the sound Seeun’s door slamming shut reverberates through the house.

“I have to talk to her,” you whisper as you wrench your wrist away from Heeseung’s hold. 

You walk away and leave him behind.

permanent taglist: @zreamy @bbujiikseu @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts @moonlighthoon @4imhry @rikisly @loves0ft @iamliacamila @theboingsuckerasseater9000 (ask to be removed/added!)

series taglist: @doll4hoon @jakelux @pshchives @hoonslutt @jainandan @enhastolemyheart @mymeloem19 @qkxaya @pussymastere @jak3sgf

© asahicore on Tumblr, 2023. please do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works. feedback and reblogs always appreciated!

[lizzieislife94x]

Dating Site (w.m)

Requested <3

 WandaG!PxFem Reader

sorry i haven't posted in a few days guys family came up from England and I've had a full house hahaha anyway i will be posting an AN in a few hours or tomorrow so please check it out when posted love yall thank you for reading as always i hope yall enjoy!

Y/ns POV:

I bite my nails feeling a little nervous as my mind runs wild I have a date tonight well in the next few hours and the thing that's making me nervous is I met her online on a dating site we've spoke on the phone but tonight is our first date her voice is heavenly I could listen to her talk all day and night "y/n coffees getting cold" my roommate yells snapping me out of my thoughts I quickly get up and walk into the livingroom "dude what if tonight goes wrong what if she doesn't like me or something" I sigh taking a sip of my coffee "y/n I see the way you smile at your phone when she texts or calls think positively what if she does like you what if she's the one worst case scenario you get railed by a sexy chick and never speak again" she says with a wink as she gently pushes my shoulder making me laugh "you know what youre right thanks jill" I finish my coffee before heading back to my room to shower and get ready. 

4 hours later:

Me:Hey I just arrived see you soon x 

I set my phone down as I sit at the table waiting for my date just a causal coffee shop date but its a cute little coffee shop my leg starts to bounce as my nervous build up "y/n..." I look up to see the most stunning girl I've ever laid my eyes I feel like all the oxygen has left my body "hey wanda right?" I say with a smile as I stand up to hug her which she returns I quickly pull her chair out for her as she sits "I'm glad you came" I say nervously we fall into a comfortable conversation It feels so natural we spend 3 hours talking getting to know eachother

"I can't believe it's 9pm already can I walk you home" she says with a smile I nod as we walk to my house continuing our conversation "well this is me" I say as we stop infront of my apartment she pulls me into a hug making me smile as I pull away she kisses my cheek "I'd love to go out on another date with you if you'd allow me to take you out" she says looking into my eyes I feel my cheeks flush and nod "yes of course" I say before we bid our goodbyes.

3 weeks later:

"You've been smiling at your phone for 19 minutes " Jill says making me look up "shut up tonight's my 4th date with wanda she's just text details I was thinking of asking her to come up tonight so do you mind if I have the place to myself " I say biting my lip me and wanda have been flirting alot making out and we always stop before it gets heated but tonight I wanna invite her up "oh la la la I can't believe youre on your 4th date and you haven't fucked yet" she says making me blush "dude shut up"

 Wands: See you tonight beautiful *1 imagine attached* 

I spit out my water looking at my phone as I open the picture an image of wanda wrapped in a short towel appearing on my screen oh fuck I can't breathe "what was that for!!" I look over to Jill covered in my water "you got sent a nude Holy shit!" I shake my head "no no I didn't I gotta go get ready bye and sorry" I quickly run to my room closing the door I lean my body against it as I bite my lip I strip to my matching bra and panties as I take a picture in the full length mirror

Me:I spit water all over my roommate thank you very much *1 image attached* 

I put my phone down and remove my bra and panties as I get in the shower I quickly get washed and wash my hair it takes roughly 20 minutes before I climb out and wrap myself in a towel I bite my lip as I walk in excited to check my phone I pick it up and screw my face up as there's no reply I start to type a message

Me: the picturewasn't that bad was it I thought my ass looker rather good in those panties..

I towel dry my hair as my phone dings

Wands: Baby baby baby I'm so sorry I was to busy trying to remember how to breathe then I couldn't take my eyes off the photo and youre right.. fuck your ass looked AMAZING in those panties holy shit

Me: Thank god I thought it was to much and you didn't wanna speak I got scared, I can't wait to see you soon baby and I have the place to myself tonight so I was thinking we could come back here afterwards?..

Wands:I have an idea why don't we just have the date at your apartment we can watch movies make out have a glass of wine or 2 make out talk and make out oh and did I say make out? 😉 

Me: That sounds like a plan I'll see you soon and i uh i dunno maybe we should uh make out?😏 

I put my phone down and I run out in my towel "Jill wandas just coming here for our date if you don't mind heading out please and thank you" I head back into my room and start getting ready since we're staying here I decided to go for short shorts and a tight vest top that shows my cleavage perfectly I throw my hair up in a messy bun as I sit on my bed deciding to watch an episode of friends to kill time 

2 hours later

"OK im off y/n byeee" my roommate yells "ok bye see you tomorrow" I yell back 10 minutes later my phone dings

Wands: I'm here baby 

I quickly run out to let her in as she wraps her arms around me holding me tight "I see you went for the casual look, I love it" she whispers in my ear making me smile as I step back "you look beautiful" i say truthfully as I pull her into the apartment we ordered some pizza as I spent the full time admiring her, her laugh her smile everything "that was some great pizza" she says leaning back as I agree we spend the next 3 hours cuddling watching a friends I feel the urge to kiss her so I sit up and straddle her waist as I sit "mh hey" she whispers as her hands settle on my thighs I quickly press my lips against hers as I start to make out with her the kiss quickly heats up a moan leaving my lips as I feel something hard pushing against my core I look at her a little shocked as she looks down avoiding my gaze I hold her chin gently making her look up at me "hey don't ever be ashamed I'm still here I don't care that you have a dick I find it hot" before I know it her lips smash against mine as we make our way to my bedroom the feeling of her hard member pressed against me only turning me on more "I can't wait to feel you" I pant out against her lips as we fall onto the bed our clothes being thrown everywhere until we're both naked I bite my lip at the sight of her as she does the same "fuck y/n"

she looks at me lust in her eyes as she stops and sits on the bed "I have something I need to say" she says looking nervous I sit up and rub her back "hey you can tell me anything its ok" she turns to look at me taking my hands "I have a BDSM kink" she says low as a giggle leaves my lips "me too I love being tied up" she looks at me shocked as the lust takes over her eyes once again "do you wanna do it" she says turning to me I quickly lean over into my drawer and pull out ropes making her smirk "oh you kinky little slut" her words turn me on more as I lay with my legs and arms spread "tie me up daddy" as soon as I speak the words she flicks her wrists and my arms and legs are tied to the bed I look at her shocked "that's a story for another time babygirl for now just relax if you want me to stop at anytime say Red ok?" I moan and nod as eyes explore my naked exposed body "ok daddy" I whimper as her hands slide up my thighs to my core her fingers spreading my pussy lips as a moan leaves both our mouths "look how wet you are for me princess such a naughty girl" she says as her slender fingers slide into my tight cunt causing me to arch my back and moan "mmmh fuck wands right there feels so good" I moan as she kisses up my body thrusting her fingers perfectly hitting all the right spots her lips latch around my right nipple as she sucks taking no mercy I can't help but scream her name as she curls her fingers hitting my gspot with each thrust "I'm gonna..oh god I'm gonna..cum" I pant as I cum all over her talented fingers my breathing rapid as she slips her fingers out "such a good girl did that feel good baby" I nod as I try to control my breathing "are you ready to take my dick babygirl" she says as she positions herself between my spread legs the sight enough to make me cum again I let out a whimper as she runs her head through my cum soaked cunt "please daddy please" I beg still breathing rapidly I feel her line herself up to my entrance as her hand grabs my tit I feel her slam deep inside me "uh fuck y/n shit your so fucking tight" she moans into my eyes as she starts thrusting "so big so big" I pant desperately needing to touch her to pull her tighter into me "fa..faster daddy" I moan as she starts pounding my cunt faster and harder I've never been this turned on I've never been this wet but fuck me does she do something to me and I love it "yes yes yes!!! Don't stop please oh my fucking god yessssss" I scream as she slams her length into me at a bruising pace her moans in my ear making it harder not to cum "let go princess cum all over my dick" as soon as she whispers into my ear it's game over I cum all over her dick as she continues to pound me faster "fuck wanda cum inside me" she groans and I feel her thrusts become sloppy letting me know she's close "I need to feel you filling me baby p..please" I pant as another orgasm crashes over me after a few more thrusts I feel her deeper than before as she slams inside me shooting her load into my cunt her body collapses onto mine as we both pant trying toget our breaths back "I have never..felt that amazing" I whisper into herear as she sits up and slides out me moaning at the sight "me either baby" she says as she unties me before heading to the bathroom to clean herself and returning with a damp cloth to clean me "now time for lots of cuddles and kisses because you deserve it baby" I smile as she climbs into bed I instantly wrap my arms and legs around her "can we watch more friends please baby" I say with puppy eyes as she giggles "of course we can baby as long as I get to hold you" I smile as i put the TV on and load friends we spent the rest of the night in eachothers arms this is what I want forever with her.

AN: I hope this is ok I always feel these are crap when I write them haha but as long as you sexy people enjoy them that's the important thing requests as always are open babes word count , stay hydrated babes 2.1k

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite scully moments from s1

when she gets SO mad at mulder's assumption that werewolves are real in episode 19 that she yells about how "no one can change into an animal! >:(" and gets out of the car

talking to her friend in episode 5 who says something like “isn’t that guy you work with cute?” to which she responds “he’s a jerk. no, he’s not a jerk…” lmao. crush behavior.

when she deserved the nobel peace prize in episode 10 for not slapping mulder upside the head after getting roped into treating horrific burn victims AND THEN coming back to his room where he immediately jumps into a new alien rant

(and, earlier in the same episode, when she showed up across the country to bail his ass out for breaking into another top secret facility… have we all thanked her for dealing with this nonsense?)

pretty much every scene in episode 13 broke my heart, but i was especially moved by her asking her mother if her father was at all proud of her (to which she receives the non-answer "he was your father")

when jack gets shot in episode 15 and the other doctors say it’s not worth trying to save him, she tells them to keep trying or she’ll do it herself (angry doctor mode <3)

when she learns about the guy who somehow managed to grow salamander hands in episode 16 and she is SO shocked and pleased by this fact. regardless of the implications (nerdy doctor mode <3)

despite her lack of belief in the existence of spirits, she tells the girl who is being protected by her deceased loved one in episode 6 to "tell him you love him" which had me crying

she’s always running around reading stuff from files and each time it makes me SO happy. like yes girl tell us why that guy’s autopsy was super suspicious!

that time in episode 17 when one of mulder’s weird alien buddies takes her $20 and rips it up she gets so mad (which is entirely understandable and I would be too!)

anytime she interacts with an animal (dog, horse, monkey... she assumes they are all friends)

taking the time to talk about losing her father with both of the victims in episode 19 who lost their family members as well

when phoebe decides to show up and kiss mulder right in front of scully in episode 12, she does her absolute best to look away because she's a very good friend

and after phoebe finally leaves, she decides to get revenge on mulder by knocking at his door and doing a phoebe impersonation: “aren’t you going to take me for lunch?” ohhh yes that was deserved! more scully being british please! it's good for the soul!

[brbsoulnomming]

Tell Me Sweet Little Lies Part 24

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | AO3

Rating: mature

-----

The next morning, he and Robin drape themselves over a pair of pool chairs to get their lounge on while Steve works on getting the pool in good enough shape for their upcoming party.

It means watching Steve in nothing but a t-shirt and a pair of cut off shorts, so Eddie's very on board.

Robin scoffs next to him. "I am so glad you got your shit together so I don't have to tiptoe around you drooling right now."

"I'm not drooling!" Eddie insists, though he does wipe his hand over his mouth just to check.

No drool.

"Metaphorically," Robin clarifies, grinning at him. "By all means, oogle away. Just know Steve's probably showing off a little on purpose."

Eddie squints at him, and sure enough - there's probably no need for Steve to be lifting things that often.

"I hate that it's working," Eddie grumbles.

"Of course it's working." Robin rolls her eyes.

Right, of course it is. Eddie's always known that Steve was very attractive - it used to irritate the hell out of him, that he was susceptible to the same allure as the rest of the masses of Hawkins High. The fact that he thought Steve was a douche used to counter it, but, well.

Now he's pretty much in love with the guy.

Eddie leans forward a little, fiddling with some blades of grass by his chair. "Steve's, uh. It's true, right, that he's had a lot of sex with a lot of girls?"

Robin nods. "It's true. He was in a slump when I first met him, but before - well, before you, he was complaining about all his meaningless relationships that were just about sex when he wanted a real connection."

That's… Eddie doesn't know exactly what that is, actually, or how he feels about it. He thinks it should be weird, talking about this when they're both dating Steve, but - it doesn't feel weird, not really. "That doesn't bother you?"

"Does it bother me that he's been with more girls than I can count before I even got my first kiss? Not really. I mean, sure, I guess a little, in an ugh why is it so easy for him and so hard for me, but, you know. We both had our different ways of finding our other soulmate. Apparently neither of them were successful, since the Upside Down brought you to Steve, and I'm still striking out." She pauses, then adds, "Plus he's like really good at eating girls out, so I'm not going to complain about getting to benefit from him demonstrating his technique."

He takes it back, it's weird and uncomfortable and that was way too much information about their sex life.

Whatever face he's making gets her to laugh at him, eyes crinkling.

"Don't worry, it probably translates over decently well. Besides, I've seen him practically deep throat a banana so you're probably good. Oh, has he gotten to do that thing with his tongue yet?"

Eddie squeaks. He's pretty sure his face is bright red, considering how much it's burning, and Robin's laughter turns into a cackle.

Steve overhears the laughter and turns towards them, hip cocked as he squints at them.

"What's so funny?" he calls.

"Just asking Eddie if he's gotten to experience your tongue skills yet!" she calls back.

"Robin!" Steve yelps, dropping the pool net to come over to them.

"What?" she asks. "Weren't you the one who was whining at me about how you wanted to choke on his dick and then eat him out until he cried?"

The blood that had been flooding his cheeks immediately rushes south, and Eddie has to lean over to adjust his pants and try to make that less obvious.

Yes, please, sign him up for all of that.

"In confidence! I told you that in confidence!" Steve sputters.

Eddie leans back, tipping his head up at Steve with a slow smirk. "I'm feeling a little hurt, here, Harrington, how come I haven't gotten a fruit demonstration?"

Steve gapes at him for a moment, just long enough for Eddie to start to regain his footing.

Then Steve's eyes narrow.

"If I was demonstrating for you, Munson, it wouldn't be on fruit," he replies.

Steve turns his back on them and returns to the pool, leaving Eddie to make a protesting noise - that is not a whine, no matter how much he can read that in Robin's eyes while she laughs at him.

"Do I need to shove you in the pool to cool you off?" she teases.

"Shut up," he mutters, adjusting himself again.

Then he tips his head back and closes his eyes, because if he looks at Steve again in the next fifteen minutes or so, he might need to take Robin up on that.

—

They eat lunch all jammed together on the couch, plates balanced on their laps. Steve's eating with his left hand, because his right hand is holding Eddie's left. Their fingers are laced together, and Steve refuses to let go, and Eddie's pretty sure his cheeks are flushed red, but he's really not going to complain about it.

There's a little bit of sauce on the corner of Steve's lip, and ridiculously, it makes Eddie want to lean in to lick it off.

Fuck, he really wants to kiss him. Is he allowed to kiss him, is that weird? Steve and Robin haven't kissed in front of him, but Eddie kind of figures that's because they knew he had hang ups about the sharing thing.

Ugh, if he wants kissing Steve when they're like this to be on the table, it's probably going to be on him to talk about it.

Eddie clears his throat. "Hey, uh," he starts, but has no idea where to go after that.

Robin makes a little encouraging noise.

"I appreciate you guys holding back on the PDA around me while I figured all this out, but you don't have to anymore," he says.

Steve's eyebrows raise. He looks down, where Robin's toes are shoved under his thigh and he'd been in the middle of eating the olives off of her plate. "I hate to break it to you, Eds, but we haven't been holding back all that much."

"Well, yeah, not for that, but-" Eddie pauses, switching to come at this from another angle. "Not a lot of people know about me. And I'm guessing - not a lot know about Steve?"

Steve nods when Eddie looks at him for confirmation. "Just Robin and you, and Max and Lucas."

Eddie smiles a little. "Same, but Uncle Wayne knows about me."

"Just you and Steve, Max and Lucas for me," Robin adds, which -

Eddie hadn't known that, actually, but it makes him smile brightly at her. It makes it even better, knowing that Robin's in the same boat as him and Steve - that she gets it. "You're the only one who knows about me and Steve, and me and Steve. I don't know how you feel about telling the others who know?"

Steve considers that. "I feel okay," he says finally. "But if we tell Lucas and Max, we have to tell the rest of the party. It's not fair to have them keep that secret."

Eddie doesn't disagree, but - "Table that for now, then. So yeah, just you. And I'd really, really like to just kiss Steve without thinking about it when it's just the three of us, so it'd be really shitty of me if I told you not to."

There's a moment of silence as Robin and Steve look at each other with near identical expressions of confusion.

"Eddie," Robin says after a moment. "I like girls."

Eddie frowns. He thought they just covered that. "Yeah?"

"Only girls," she clarifies.

What.

"But Steve-" he starts.

"Is not a girl," Robin finishes.

"Definitely not a girl," Steve adds.

"Wait, so you - so you're not -" Eddie stammers.

Jesus fucking Christ.

"Oh my God, Eddie, have you thought we were dating this whole time?" Robin shrieks.

"Yes! Of course I did! Look at you!" Eddie gestures at them.

"You said you told him!" Steve hisses at Robin.

"I did!" Robin protests.

"I think I would have remembered that!" Eddie counters.

"We were sitting in the kitchen! I told you that Steve has two soulmates, a platonic," she gestures at herself, the motion just as exaggerated as the word. "And a romantic!" She gestures at Eddie this time.

Eddie closes his eyes, fights the urge to just keep repeating Jesus Christ, and opens them again. "Buckley. I wasn't looking at you while we were talking."

"You weren't - well that's just rude, Munson! What were you so busy staring at that you couldn't pay attention to me in the very important discussion we were having?" Robin demands.

Eddie's eyes cut to Steve.

Her gaze must follow his, because she groans. "Of course you were looking at Steve. See, look at that, another person ignoring me because they're obsessed with you."

Eddie squawks. "I wasn't obsessed with-"

His jaw snaps shut as he realizes that might not be a lie.

Shit.

Steve grins at him, looking just a little bit too smug. "It's okay," he says. "I'm kind of obsessed with you, too."

Robin groans, face planting onto Steve's shoulder. "How did we miss this?"

"I thought we were being so mature," Steve agrees. "So open and communicative."

"In my defense, you two did shower together," Eddie points out.

"Not like that!" Robin says.

"How do you shower together but not like that?" Eddie demands.

Steve shrugs. "The same way you wash someone's hair but not like that?"

Eddie makes a face at him. "Yeah, that doesn't count, I wanted to jump you the whole time."

Steve opens his mouth, then closes it again. "Yeah, okay, me too," he admits. "You kept making these little sounds, I just-"

Eddie waggles his eyebrows. "Keep going, Stevie, you just what?"

"Get sidetracked later," Robin cuts in. "The point is - technically, Steve showered while I was brushing my teeth, and I showered while he was doing his hair care routine. We're soulmates, it's not like it matters what we see."

"But - there was giggling, and smacking, and - other noises," Eddie protests, but it's a weak one now.

Steve shrugs. "My back was all fucked up, man, you know that. Rob was helping me with the bandages."

"And Steve was doing his stupid shower characters," Robin adds, rolling her eyes. "He makes himself a dumb beard out of shaving cream or a stupid hairstyle out of shampoo and does terrible voices, and it's awful and I don't hate it at all."

Eddie - Eddie can imagine that perfectly, actually, and fuck, something so stupid shouldn't make him want so badly, but there it is.

"Stop," he whines. "I'm already in love with you, stop making it worse."

Both Steve and Robin freeze, but it still takes him a moment to realize what he just said.

Oh shit.

Eddie swallows, building up his courage for a moment before he sneaks a look at Steve.

Steve's looking back, just a little bit awestruck. "You love me?"

Eddie can't pull his hand free to fidget with his wrist brace, so he plays with Steve's fingers instead. "Well, yeah. I kind of thought that was obvious."

Then again, apparently some things all three of them thought were obvious were very much not obvious, and he grimaces.

"Yeah," he says. "I really do."

Robin kicks Steve in the thigh, leaning over and snatching their plates out of their laps. "Upstairs, now," she informs them. "I know that look, Steve, and if you're going to make out with him you're not doing it sitting next to me on the couch."

"Upstairs?" Steve asks, and who the hell is Eddie to say no to that?

"Just remember you're supposed to pick Dustin up for patrol in half an hour!" Robin yells up after them. "And I will not be stalling if he walkies asking what's taking you so long!"

"Guess we shouldn't waste any time." Eddie turns to Steve with a smirk, one eyebrow raised, only to find himself pinned to the wall in the upstairs hallway.

Steve crowds in against him, kissing him in short little bursts, like he keeps trying to pull back to say something but can't make himself stop for long.

Eddie doesn't make it easy for him to pull away, chasing him every time he does to kiss him again. He drags his teeth along Steve's bottom lip the next time he pulls back, but this time, Steve actually does stop long enough to speak.

"I love you, too," he pants out against Eddie's lips, the words muffled by how close they are together.

And Eddie - yeah, part of him had known. Like he told Uncle Wayne, it was obvious that Steve cared about him, and it was just as obvious that Steve was really into him.

But mostly knowing about it and hearing it confirmed are two different things, and Eddie surges forward to kiss him again.

Steve presses him back against the wall, one thigh wedged between Eddie's legs - still in those cut off shorts, and if Eddie could bring himself to break the kiss long enough to look down, he's pretty sure he'd get more than a flash of hairy skin. Eddie groans, rolling his hips up so he can at least grind against his thigh.

"Yeah?" Steve asks, before his tongue slides into his mouth at the same time his thigh presses up and up, giving Eddie more friction to rut against.

Which he immediately takes advantage of, grabbing Steve's ass with both hands and holding on as they rock together.

"Wanna make you feel good," Steve says, dropping little biting kisses along the line of Eddie's jaw. "Want you to tell me everything you like."

Eddie huffs out a shaky little laugh. "I, uh. I've never done this before, Stevie."

Steve tips his head back to look at him, brows furrowed for a moment before he seems to get that Eddie means, like, ever.

Despite the fact that he's mostly sure Steve isn't going to make fun of him, his stomach still drops when Steve groans and drops his head down into Eddie's shoulder.

"Steve?" Eddie asks.

"We gotta stop," Steve replies, muffled. "We've only got like twenty minutes left now, and that's really not enough for everything I want to do with you."

Eddie's dick throbs where it's still pressed against Steve's thigh. "It's enough for something, though, come on."

Steve pulls back to look at him. "Eds, your first time is not going to be a quickie in our hallway with Robin downstairs and Dustin waiting on me."

Eddie considers that, then rolls his hips up again, grinning smugly when it makes Steve inhale sharply. "Yeah, I'm pretty okay with that for my first mutual orgasm experience."

Steve makes a face at him, the impact of which is a little ruined by his slightly glazed eyes. "I'm not."

Eddie grunts. "I'm not a girl," he manages to growl out.

Steve looks down between them, where Eddie's still very hard and very pressed into him. "I noticed."

"Then don't treat me like some delicate little virgin," Eddie snaps.

Steve huffs. "It's not like that, it's - fine, why did you tell me, then?"

"What?" Eddie asks, thrown.

"If it's not a big deal, why did you say anything?"

"I… I don't know," Eddie admits. "I just - thought you should be aware, I guess, in case you were expecting something else."

Someone who knew what they were doing.

"Eds," Steve breathes out, tipping his head in to kiss him again. "I'm not expecting anything but you, I promise. Just you, that's all I want."

"That's all?" Eddie asks, and he means it to be teasing, but it comes out a little shaky.

"I want - look, I know it's crap about virginity being special and your first time being perfect and all that, but… it's also not crap."

Eddie raises an eyebrow.

"It's - it should be good, Eddie. You deserve to have something go right. I want to take my time with you, not be thinking about how we have to rush."

Well when Steve puts it like that.

"You're such a romantic," Eddie teases.

Steve's ears go a little pink, but he shrugs. "Yeah, I guess I kind of am."

Eddie pulls him back in for another kiss. "I love you," he whispers against his lips, part because he does and part just to see if he can get Steve all riled up again.

"Not fair," Steve mutters back.

Eddie can't help but laugh a little. "It work?"

"Yes." Steve kisses him again. "But it didn't change my mind."

He steps back, though Eddie's pleased to note that he looks both rumpled and reluctant. Eddie sighs, then reaches out to fix Steve's collar, run his fingers through his hair. Steve does the same for him, and it feels -

Well, pretty fucking good, actually.

They head back downstairs. Robin cheers for them, shouting, "Three minutes to spare!"

Steve rolls his eyes, leans over to kiss the top of her head.

Then he drags Eddie to the front door with him so they can kiss again, long and lingering, before Steve finally heads back out.

Eddie drifts back into the living room to sit down next to Robin again, trying not to look too dazed.

She huffs at him, and it's only then that he realizes this is the first time they've been alone since she told him she was coming back for him.

"You still pissed at me?"

Robin rolls her eyes. "No, you fixed that last night. For the record - it wasn't at you, not really. Steve was miserable, which gets my hackles up. I know, he said he was happy no matter what, but I know him. He would have been hung up on you for ages. Plus, the boy likes sex," she adds matter-of-factly. "It would have been awful dealing with him pining and all pent up from not getting laid."

Eddie snorts.

"What?" Robin asks.

"Nothing," Eddie replies. "Just - I'm really glad we don't have to work out a schedule for both of us having sex with him."

Robin lets out a sound that's some unholy mix between a giggle and a shriek. "Okay, first, thanks for putting that mental image in my brain, I need at least three shots later tonight to get that out. Second - oh my god we would run him ragged, he's pretty insatiable but I'm not sure even he could keep up with the two of us."

Eddie cackles, head tipping back in a laughter there's no way he can contain. "I really love you, Robbie," he says quietly when he's managed to calm down.

Her eyes are soft as she looks at him. "Yeah," she says. "I do, too."

"I can't promise that I won't ever hurt him," he says. "Because, you know, sometimes I get up in my head about stuff, and sometimes I miss things. But I love him. It's always going to be him. I won't - I won't ever leave him, or give up on us."

Robin's quiet for a long time. "You and I aren't really soulmates, you know. I can't tell if you just lied to me."

Eddie knows what his knee-jerk reaction to that is. But he sits with it for a moment, breathes in and breathes out, and then decides knee-jerk was the right reaction. "Yeah, you can."

Robin smiles at him, reaching out to tug on a lock of his hair. "Yeah, I can," she agrees.

He opens his arms, and she hugs him, then shoves him off.

"Come on, Steve left us to do the lunch dishes."

—

Steve brings home pizza for dinner when he gets done with patrolling.

"Hey, I was thinking - do you want to head out to Forest Hills when we're done?" Steve asks while they eat. "There's not really anyone there anymore, we could see if there's anything left of yours you want to get."

Eddie considers that. Part of him isn't sure he wants to go back there, ever, but the other part kind of feels like he needs to see it. To make it real again, and not just a thing in his nightmares.

So he agrees, and they head out after they clean up dinner - Robin refuses to get stuck with it this time.

It still feels strange, driving around in the front seat of Steve's Bimmer, but mostly a nice strange. They don't pass many cars on the way out there, and Steve's got Trooper's Thick as Thieves album playing quietly, and Eddie can just lean back and alternate looking out the window with looking at the beautiful boy in the driver's seat.

Steve pulls a couple of empty boxes out of the trunk when they get there, and Eddie sees him hesitate over the nail bat that's still in there from his patrol earlier.

"Here," Eddie says, taking the boxes so Steve can grab the bat.

There hasn't been any sign of Vecna or the Upside Down on their patrols yet, but Eddie's pretty sure they'll both feel better if Steve's carrying it.

The trailer is barely holding together, a huge chunk ripped out of the living room, and Eddie swallows back a surge of tears.

He knows they have insurance, knows what Uncle Wayne said about the stuff in the trailer, but - it was the first place that ever really felt like home to Eddie. Even though the home was more about Uncle Wayne himself than the physical trailer, it hurts seeing it like this.

"Hey," Steve says softly. "We don't have to do this tonight, we can wait."

We.

Like it's just a guarantee that whenever Eddie does decide to look through the shattered remains of his life, Steve will be right there with him. No question.

It shouldn't be, but it's still a little bit of a surprise to realize that Eddie believes it.

"No," he says, though he does lean in for a kiss. "I want to get this over with. Come on, let's look in my room."

His room isn't as bad as the living room, but it's still pretty trashed. He gets to work rifling through the debris while Steve hangs out in the doorway, nailbat on one shoulder and keeping an eye on the dormant but still not closed gate in the living room.

Eventually, Eddie manages to find about a couple of boxes worth of clothes, most of his jewelry, some D&D things, a few other odds and ends. It's not a lot, but it's more than Eddie thought he might have, which lifts his spirits a little.

"I can stop borrowing your clothes all the time," Eddie tells Steve.

Steve makes a face like he's trying not to say anything.

"What?" Eddie asks.

"…I kind of like you in my clothes," Steve admits.

Eddie barks out a little laugh, then sets down his box so he can sidle into Steve's space. "Oh yeah?" he asks, cocking one eyebrow. "You want me to wear your letterman jacket?"

Steve tips his head, which Eddie is pretty damn sure means yes, but I don't want to say it.

"Steve Harrington," Eddie teases as he hooks his fingers in the waistband of Steve's jeans and gives it a tug. "You wanna be my boyfriend?"

"I'm your soulmate," Steve replies, rolling his eyes, but he doesn't stop himself from being reeled in.

"You wanna be my boyfriend," Eddie repeats, voice sing song, and steals another kiss.

"You were the one who said you wanted the full Steve Harrington experience," Steve teases back.

"I was joking!" Eddie replies, but he realized the moment he says it that - well, no, he kind of wasn't.

Steve grins widely at him. "No, you weren't," he retorts, with all the confidence of someone who's just felt a new lie being written on them.

Eddie raises his eyebrows at him. "So what are you going to do about it, then?"

Steve leans in to kiss him one more time. "Come on. Let's get out of here first."

And, well, all right, Eddie can't exactly protest that.

He picks up two boxes, leaving Steve to grab the third and his bat, then the two of them head back out of the trailer.

They're not too far from what's left of the front door when the sound of footsteps crunches on the gravel nearby.

It's probably just one of the handful of folks too stubborn to leave Forest Hills, but - it's dark, and Eddie can't see anyone, and he can't help the rush of panic that he feels. It must hit Steve the same way, because when he turns back to look at him, he sees that Steve has gone still, head tilted like he's listening.

The sound of a gun cocking rings out far louder than it should.

"Don't move," Jason Carver says.

-----

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At least all three of them are finally on the same page?

Part 25

[sunny44]

Daddy’s girl

Pairing: Mason Mount x Mom!reader

Warnings: just fluff.

Summary: you and Mason decided it was time to take baby Olivia to her first Chelsea game and it goes better than the expected.

Today would be the first time we would take Olivia to see Mason playing.

She had gone when I was pregnant and once and then I stopped going because of my difficult pregnancy and after she was born I stared getting a lot of hate online saying horrible things about the baby so we decides that we were taking her when she could walk by herself.

And today is the day.

Mason was already at the stadium and I would go along with his family who were downstairs waiting for us.

"Are you excited to see daddy?" As soon as I mention Mason she gets up and starts jumping on the bed "I guess that’s a yes."

I finished putting on her Jersey with the Mount and the number 19 on the back, she was wearing her Chelsea uniform and her little Nike air.

"We need to pin your hair up." I spoke to her but Olivia was distracted playing with Mason’s socks she had found on the bed. "My God you really are his daughter."

I've made two buns on her and took her on my lap down the stairs to find his family already waiting for us.

"I'm sorry it took so long, she have Mason’s energy."

"No problem honey you have you and mini Mase to dress up." His mother smiles at us leaving the house.

I went in the car with his parents and we were driven to where we were going to watch the game but right at the entrance Olivia saw a huge picture of Mason and she ran screaming “daddy” and hugged herself to the wall. The scene was the cutest thing in the world and it was a shame that I couldn't record it and show it to him later.

When the players entered the field and the big screen was showing them, Olivia screamed as soon as she saw her father.

…

The game was wonderful and Chelsea won it, Olivia spent much of the time screaming and every time the screen showed Mason she celebrated seeing him and the people watching us probably knew she was his daughter since some of them started to take pictures or record us.

After we were free we went to the field, Olivia was on my lap super excited to see everyone including some of her football uncles as I like to call them.

"Look there baby is Uncle Kai, go give him a big hug." She laughed and ran over to him since she hadn't found Mason yet.

"Hi love." He says hugging me from behind.

"Oh my god Mason you scared me." He laughs and I turn to him. "You were amazing I’m so proud of you."

"Thank you." He kisses me. "Where's Oli?"

"She went to give Kai a hug." I pointed to her on his lap and a few other players along making her laugh.

Her relationship with Kai was funny because Olivia was a miniature of Mason, super energetic and likes to talk to everyone and Kai was serious most of the time and not the most affectionate person when it comes to physical touch.

"Olivia." At the same time he calls out and even with all the noise she somehow seems to hear and cracked the biggest smile when she saw him. "Hey baby girl."

"Daddy." She shouts as he picks her up on his lap.

"Did you have fun?" she agrees and he puts her on his shoulders.

I took some pictures of her on his shoulder and lap and then some of them playing with the ball.

"The guys are going out for dinner to celebrate the win, do you want to go?" He asks. "Some of their girlfriend’s are going."

"We can go yes but can you take me somewhere I can change her? This uniform of her smells like horrible and she didn't even play." He laughs.

"I need to shower and get change so I'll take advantage of that and give her a bath in the locker room."

"Alright, let’s say goodbye to your family and I'll separate some clean clothes for her."

We said goodbye to his family and Mason went with Olivia to the locker room, I separated an outfit for her and I obviously wasn't going to go in and risk seeing things I shouldn't have so I knocked on the door and Ben opened it.

“Is everything ok?" He asked worriedly.

"Yeah it's just that Mason is giving Oli a sower so we can go out and meet up with you guys and I wanted to ask someone to give him her clothes."

"Why didn’t you come in?"

"Because I don't want to see your things." He laughs and yells asking if anyone was naked and since they said no I went in. "The only one who might be naked is Mason but considering you have a daughter with him at least once you saw him naked."

I rolled my eyes at his comment and soon Mason let me know she was ready and handed her to me, he went to shower and I was drying and dressing her. When she was dry and in her diaper she got up from the bench and started running after Reece and Christian.

"Oli come back here."

"No." She ran and stretched her arms out to Kai’s who grabbed her in his lap and she hid in his neck.

"Are you hungry?" At the same time she gives me a quick look and I swear I've never seen a little girl as hungry as this one. "Where we're having dinner they have that pasta you like.”

She quickly holds out her hands to me and Kai laughs at how quickly she comes onto my lap. I dressed her I a white blouse and some leggings and a coat that Ben gave it to her.

"Mason I'm going to wait with Oli in the cafeteria."

"Okay love I'm just finishing up and I'll meet you guys there.”

Me, Olivia and a few more of the boys left with me and we went to the cafeteria to wait until Mason was ready to go to dinner.

Dinner was great and right after we ate Oli fell asleep and is sleeping until now, she spent the whole time jumping from lap to lap until she stopped at Mason's where she didn't let go of him and now we are going to the car with her on his lap.

"Wow you don't know how amazing today was." He comments smiling. "Oli went to her first game, we won and I am the luckiest guy in the world to share life with you."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it and Oli loved it." I put the bags on her in the backseat as he adjusts her in the car seat. "You know that giant picture of you outside the stadium?"

"I do."

"I couldn't record it because it all happened so fast but Oli as soon as she saw it ran out screaming daddy and hugged the wall." He laughed and left a little kiss on her forehead and covered her with her binky.

"You have no idea how much I love this little girl." He says starting the car and beginning to drive towards our house.

"She loves you too, every time you appeared on the screen she screamed and clapped her hands calling for you."

"Thank you for taking her today, it meant a lot to me." He takes my hand and leaves a kiss on the top of my hand.” I know it’s not easy to have a public life and I really appreciate you so much for loving me and doing all those sacrifices for our family. And I also know that it was not easy to take her today because now people know how she looks but I really love it, so thank you.

"No need to thank me, you know I would do anything for you." He smiles and we went home after this amazing day.

Bonus scene!

Y/nmount instagram post

Liked by masonmount, jazbenham, benchilwell and others 18,947

Y/nmount our baby girl went to her first game to cheer for daddy and her uncles

Masonmount my little lucky charm, daddy loves you so much

Debbiemount she was the cutest fan

Benchilwell I’m giving her a jersey with my name and number on it

Masonmount I’m throwing away

Y/nmount she’s going to love it ben, thank you

Fan65 we’re finally able to say that baby mount looks exactly like Mason

Y/nlovers yesssss, she’s all him

[littleclosetofbyler]

it was me, i was mike

Hello world.

So I got around the byler rabbit hole around 13 days ago (backed up by a comment on the first byler yt video i watched, kinda crazy), and everything went downhill from there until two or three days ago when i realized something extremelly curious: I was Mike Wheeler once.

Now, you might be asking yourself "the f is this woman into" but hear me out: everyone has a past.

So I will tell you a little bit about myself and my first friend crush.

I was around 15-16 when it started, year 2005, she was two years younger than me and my best friend. We went to the same school, she was really really smart, we would hang out because we both liked anime and books and games. Basically I asked her to be my friend during recess one day, of course when you are 15 the interaction goes more like "hey i heard you like anime, me too, wanna hang out after this?"

And hang out we did. A lot.

Fast forward a few years we are in full friendship with me being around 18 and dumb as f. We would go everywhere together and all was great, until I met one of her friends, a guy who was just kind of cool, but I actually just liked his name.

I started dating him, because I had nothing better to do, and my friend and I were okay for around a week, and then this guy asked my friend how he could make me kiss him... and my friend cut me off.

Like that. No longer friends.

In january was her 16th birthday, I called her on the phone and asked why we were no longer hanging out, I told her I missed her and she gave me the answer that has been with me for over 15 years already: "Our age gap is too big".

At the moment I was sad and weirded out, we were friends, best friends, what the hell happened. Until a few weeks later I talked with another friend, a wise dumb kind of guy who told me the second answer that has been with me for years: "She liked you".

I was 19 when I understood my feelings for women were more than platonic, I was 19-20 when I had my first everything with women. I was 19-20 when i came out of the closet.

But when I was 18 and she liked me, I was just... oblivious.

I used to make jokes about gay people, I had a lot of internalized homophobia, I thought things were not very logical at all. It took me years to realize that my "looking up to X older girl" was not a common universally straight experience, not in the way I used to do it. It took me even more years to realize that my first idealization of a "wet dream" was not the man, but the woman in the blue dress and high hair.

A few years more, of should I say, many years more, is what it took me to realize a lot of other things; looking back, my relationship with her was never completely "normal", not for two girls in my country at that age in the year 2007.

Hidden messages, special presents, a folder full of drawings, german music, a little too close in all the photos, sleepless nights on her bed, ice cold tea specially for me, holding hands while watching anime in the darkness of a movie theater, almost hugging while a kiss happened in those movies, sleeping on my shoulder, except that she was never really sleeping.

We were everything and we were nothing, platonic friends only.

Today I am 34, and an openly not straight woman (lesbian? bisexual? I don't know, i don't care).

When I lost her I did not only lost my best friend, I lost so so much more, and it was probably the cathalist for everything that came after.

I miss her to this day.

So I understand the universal not straight experience of the crush on a friend as well as the being the crush of said friend, and let me tell you, I was Mike Wheeler, remember that guy I told you about? Well, I told him I loved him (can´t actually even remember if this happened exactly like this), because he insisted I never said it.

I have never been in love with a man, I am not sure I even ever feel anything for a man beyond platonic whatever.

So, whenever I see people say that Mike Wheeler just can't be gay, or be or anything... oh my sweet summer child, he can be, because I was, at the same age, in a not conservative contry, in 2008; why do you think it might be impossible in the 80's in a conservative town in a pretty conservative country?

Dunno, just asking.