#maybe it will ultimately improve things. but i sort of suspect it doesn’t make a difference/you achieve the same effect differently in prose

[callixton]

ugh. i’ve started writing like a director i can tell. this was not a problem for the previous eighteen years of my life

[smithy-smith]

I love This Way Up series 2. Did it go the exact way I hoped? No. But I honestly think that I appreciated how much more real and three dimensional the characters all felt as a result of that. Although some aspects of the series felt a touch clunkier than S1, I think a lot of that can be put down to the fact that they had to work under some pretty strict COVID restrictions while filming. I’d be interested to know how Aisling Bea envisioned this series going before it had to be written to work during lockdown and if that meant significant changes to the scripts.

Anyway, more thoughts under the cut…

Shona & Áine : 10/10 sibling dynamic. They love each other so much. Are they verging on co-dependent? Probably a little bit, but it works for them. They would both kill each other and kill for each other at a moment’s notice, and I love that for them. Their interactions feel so real and you can truly get a sense of their deep love and affection for each other. If I tried to list all of my favourite Áine and Shona moments then I’d be here all day, but some highlights are: the whole time that  Áine is ‘helping’ Shona to unpack, the haemorrhoid, and also Áine and Shona lying on the floor together at the end. S1 was so much of Shona being there for Áine (understandably!) that it’s amazing to see that get flipped, and for it to be made explicitly clear that this isn’t just a case of the younger sibling relying totally on the older one. They need each other, and that’s wonderful!

Shona/Charlotte: I feel like we got more confirmation of something I’d sort of suspected- that Charlotte wasn’t Shona’s first foray into sleeping with other women, but that it was probably the first time that feelings got involved. I get the impression that she’s probably had one night stands with women, but relationships with men, and so as soon as Charlotte said that she was falling for her, Shona completely panicked. Charlotte was right to feel hurt and used, and that whole scene where they had it out in the office was so raw and painful. I’m glad they went down that route, and that it is clear that if they do reconcile then they’ll need to do a lot of work to get there. Ideally, I’d love that to be the outcome, but I’m happy to be along for the ride whatever happens at this point!

Shona/Vish: I love Vish, I think he’s sweet, but it still feels like he and Shona are on different pages. Maybe even different books, at least when it comes to their relationship. Him being away for this series really worked, as it allowed Shona to miss him and feel like she wants to connect with him, without the reality of him actually being around. I think it’s clear that she’s burying a lot of her feelings and it’s much easier for her to do that if he isn’t there. I really want see the fallout of that voice note…

Áine/Richard: God love them, but they need to sit down and actually talk. I think they’re super sweet together and that they could be really good for each other, but it’s obvious that Áine is having issues with telling Richard about rehab and her breakdown, and that she’s kind of terrified about what telling him will mean. (I get it. I too get that anxious panicky feeling every time I’m about to talk to other people about my mental health issues. I dread the thought of watching their face change in real time as they realise what a fucked-up mess I actually am…) Richard on the other hand is still dealing with the fact that he became the father of a teenager overnight, and is clearly still struggling to regain a sense of control over his identity as a result. That, combined with his intense level of Repressed British Awkwardness™ is definitely having an impact on how they communicate with each other. Him telling Étienne without talking to Áine first is the peak example of this- that is 100% a conversation they should have had with each other first, even though ultimately it was the right thing to do at this point. Fingers crossed that we’ll get a S3 as I really want to see if that communication issue gets resolved, or if it will be the death of their relationship… They had some really cute moments this series, and some moments with more honest and open communication, so I’m hopeful that they might be able to work things out, it definitely seems like that is an option for them!

Áine/Bradley: I LOVED that we got more Áine and Bradley time this series! Their flatmate dynamic in S1 was great, it very much seemed to sit in the ‘we’re friendly, but we’re not 100% certain that we are friends’ category, and his loud relationship with Emma was clearly a bit of an awkward sticking point, for obvious reasons! But this series they’ve spent more time together on screen and they are clearly solid friends- with potentially something more simmering away… I loved him giving Áine advice on how to be sexy and flirt with Richard when they were having problems, and his obvious acceptance of all her quirks as a housemate. In the fundraiser ep he was not feeling Richard’s vibes, which was understandable given Áine’s obvious insecurity and worries, and let’s be honest, what he’s heard about Richard so far probably hasn’t been the most flattering or reassuring! Áine turning to Bradley when she found out about Tom dying, knowing that he would be there and support her! The fact that he already knows about rehab, and it doesn’t seem to make a difference to how he treats her! Plus, that conversation at the end?? When he was saying ‘wouldn’t it be nice to be with someone you can relax with’?? It definitely seems like he is working through some stuff of his own, and that maybe he is starting to potentially see  Áine as that person… At the moment, it feels like their relationship is teetering on the cusp- if it tips one way he can fit into the protective ‘older brother’ friend mould, looking out for  Áine and supporting her. Or it could tip the other way and they could perhaps be at the beginning of something more romantic…

Étienne: he is so big! I’m hazarding a guess that he wasn’t in this series as much because it’s easier to send him off to France so that they don’t have to worry about exposing the child actor to COVID, but perhaps that was always the plan. His relationship with Richard seems to be improving slightly, but is obviously still a bit difficult for them both to negotiate. Again, fingers crossed for a S3 where he can be more involved, as I really want to see the fallout from Richard telling him about his relationship with Áine, and the change of tutors. God I wish Richard had waited for Áine before he did anything!

I haven’t even touched on the exciting development of Áine and James going into business together, and what that would mean for Áine’s personal growth. (Also her friendship with James! Hooray for Áine having more friends!) But this is already HELLA long so maybe I’ll dig into that another time :) 

Fingers crossed for S3, I think there’s still so much left to explore with these characters, and I hope that we get the chance to see that!

[sepublic]

The Third Temple!

           SASHA you’re so DUMB, dang it! WHY would you?! WHY?!

           Sasha, you really ARE brute force, in spite of your seemingly more subtle, nuanced, and manipulative strategies on the surface… Superficially you think things through, you have plans and rely on Honey over Vinegar… But fundamentally, I think it’s clear that Sasha is someone who gets by through brute force, in the sense that she blindly throws her power around, instead of genuinely conceding to diplomacy and whatnot. And, this plays into her Persistence, and never giving up, as we see against those two bullies in the flashback…

           Also, lemme just say- The dehydrated bit for the Amphibians was hilarious and also a clever way to isolate the conflict to just the humans, and THEN just Anne and Sasha- Because alas, Marcy’s weak nerd arms…!

           Seriously though, seeing how Grime lowkey lays the pressure, I like how it displays that they’re both… Toxic and enabling to one another, even if supportive, and it’s not like just ONE is in charge or whatever. Sasha having to choose between Anne and Marcy, and Grime, is interesting; To her, Grime is someone who stuck with her through thick and thin, at her lowest point… He’s someone who’s not afraid of her power, but even actively encourages her, supports Sasha’s ruthlessness! In some ways, it seems he’s more supportive and understands Sasha better than her old friends…

           And, I have to think that Sasha wasn’t totally lying back there. That a part of her DID in fact feel remorse, or at least understand that she messed up… But it also means that she’s burnt that bridge permanently on her own end, or she’s trying to- Because she thinks that it’s too late, she’s just going to mess things up AGAIN anyway, because Anne and Marcy can’t handle the kind of person she is. So, Sasha is sticking with Grime… But again, Sasha has to wonder if Anne and Marcy have a point, and that’s something Grime doesn’t realize…. But then again, why WOULD he bring up Sasha’s flaws, in the midst of his own rebellion, which IS important to him!

           I think Sasha and Grime being a lot alike could make her realize what kind of impact she has on others, by realizing how she feels about Grime; And how Grime might realize the same vice-versa. In Grime’s case, he very much NEEDS to be ruthless in order to survive, in order to carry out his Toad Rebellion… And, he’s not completely wrong for it, either!

           For all we know, Sasha apologizing, and manipulating Anne and Marcy, isn’t totally mutually exclusive; Maybe she DID take Percy and Braddock a little bit to heart, in the sense that… She does care, but she also realizes that Andrias is pretty sus, and that they NEED to do something about him. To Sasha, she really is looking out for them by getting rid of Andrias… But how much of her is motivated by genuine suspicion of him, or just her own ulterior motives of getting back power and control?

           This could lead to a confrontation where Sasha NEEDS to be listened and heard out, because a part of her IS right about Andrias… But because of her own lies and treachery, Anne rightfully doesn’t trust her- And it’s complicated because in some ways, Sasha IS operating more from being selfish than doing the right thing, even if it’s ultimately siding with Sasha that is the right choice here. This could spur on Anne to side with Marcy and Andrias, perhaps help the Newt King in whatever he has planned… Or, it could lead to Anne realizing the Newts aren’t trustworthy as well, breaking those bridges!

           With what we see in the intro with Marcy, for all we know we’re being expected to think of Sasha as the betrayal, but it’s MARCY who screws things over! She did mention about how she wanted to bring the Calamity Box to Andrias first, so I imagine this has something to do with her deal… Perhaps Andrias will use the power in the Box, safely contained instead of in the girls, to help bring his master to power? Now I’m imagining a Breath of the Wild scenario, where ‘The Night’ rises to power like Calamity Ganon, engulfing Newtopia- This is of course more tragic because we got to KNOW Newtopia and its people…

           But even worse- Its power spreads out and it uses the Calamity Box power to revive the ancient machines of Amphibia, possibly even corrupting Frobo in particular- Just like Ganon with the Guardians! If Season 3 is Toad-themed, this could lead to Sasha and her rebellion teaming up with Anne and the others to regroup and defeat the Night… And as for Marcy, perhaps she’ll play the role of Princess Zelda; She’ll realize her mistakes, and pull some sort of sacrifice to keep the Night contained temporarily… Or even worse, Andrias will manipulate her into staying with them!

           Perhaps Marcy knows the truth about the gems draining power, that they’re needed to travel home; So Andrias proposed to have the power safely drained by the temples, and handed over to him, so that the girls could stay in Amphibia together, forever, never losing that fantasy of theirs… Who knows?

           I will say that it’s telling that Marcy, of course with the excuse of no Toad Tower incident, is immediately quick to fall into line with Sasha, and how this could play into her character being more generally gullible, possibly willfully so, because her default is to follow whoever’s in charge blindly… Ironic, then; Marcy is smart but not wise, Sasha is powerful but too weak to do the right thing and show vulnerability, and Anne is brave, but often held back by insecurities and doubt! These girls are their own antithesis!

           And Sasha… She needs to have the self-belief in herself, the way Anne and Marcy do- To actually do the right thing, to grow as a person. To not resign herself to who she is now, and even worse, because she believes in her own ability to improve and be better than that… Sasha needs to not let down Anne and Marcy’s trust, to make good on why it was given in the first place! Pay back their good faith in her, be the hero and leader they believe her to be!

           …Anyhow, I like Frobo’s brief involvement here- I’m glad to see he got to do more, and the gags with the dehydration, how I THOUGHT Grime’s arms seemed a bit skinnier than usual, were great! I like to see more of Frobo becoming more integrated into the family and cast, and I’d like to see how he, Sasha, and Grime would interact; Him being a powerful automaton might create some interest, perhaps in weaponizing and reactivating the Ruins of Despair… And of course, it’d complicate things for them to pull a full betrayal, considering Frobo’s power- Perhaps he’ll help against people like Yunnan, maybe even do a heroic sacrifice to help the others escape Newtopia, only to be destroyed or corrupted?

           I love how painfully direct the Third Temple was, how it’s really just about brute, raw strength- But making good on that strength to keep going, too! The gravity bit and Sasha removing her armor was classic anime characters with absurd weights, and I suspect that giant Toad golem is actually none other than the previous Toad we saw with Andrias… And, possibly Barrel himself! The golem conceding defeat with good sportsmanship probably gives us a good idea of what Barrel was like- Probably a much more boisterous, heart-on-your-sleeve individual…. Arguably way less toxic and manipulative than Sasha, perhaps the most traditional hero of the trio!

           Funny, then, that the trio first had the Wit be toxic… And now Strength… AND Wit, perhaps? We’ll see… Either way, I now suspect that Barrel talks the same way as the messages in the Third Temple!

           We’re in the final stretch, you guys… Nothing but pure plot and development, Sasha and Grime and the others, attempted reconciliation. If we saw Anne and the family try to say goodbye at Newtopia, this is going to take on a WHOLE new level, because Anne is going to think she’s really about to leave, for REAL this time; And this means teary farewells with all of Wartwood, and likely a montage and episode even MORE painful than our mid-point for this show! My heart isn’t ready… In addition to probably cute antics among the human girls, underscored by the darkness of what we KNOW is to come, no less!

           Until next time, F-Anne’s… We’re about to enter the calm, BEFORE the Storm!

[jerryb2]

In my ongoing quest to create the ultimate Expanded Universe® Grand Master® Luke Skywalker® Lightsaber® (shut up, that’s totally my latest quest 👀), here we have some side-by-side pics of the ROTJ Luke V2 & V3 sabers, as well as the MK1 for scale and reference.

I’ve just recently added the blade plug to the V3, as well as replacing the original D-Ring on the pommel with one that has a more rounded shape, which I personally think looks better. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. 😎

Breaking character for a moment though; ever since I learned about the different versions of Luke’s Lightsaber I’ve been sort of mulling over a metanarrative that I’d like to share (this’ll take a while, so strap in):

For those that might not know, Luke’s lightsaber from Return of the Jedi has a complicated history, to say the least; there are actually multiple screen-used lightsaber props for Luke in ROTJ. If nothing else, this simple fact serves as a testament to the sheer disorganization of the early Star Wars films. In general, movie scenes are rarely shot in sequential order - in fact, they’re shot in an order that’s the most cost-effective. Pressed for time, and shooting the climactic throne room duel with Darth Vader early in the production, the prop department was forced to re-purpose several "stunt sabers" and turn them into on-camera props. These were originally FX/stunt sabers for Ben Kenobi (the MK1) in ANH, and that had since been repurposed so that the actors could practice with them. There’s some really neat footage out there of Mark Hamill and Bob Anderson (Vader’s stunt double) practicing the fight from ESB where Mark is actually using the V2. This led to the V2, V3, Yuma and later, the Hero versions of the same (technically) lightsaber. This also goes a long way to explain why Luke & Ben’s sabers have such a similar profile. How did no one notice this for literally decades? Well, when you take into account that there was no such thing as a high-definition picture, as well as the fact that most kids watched the OT on VHS tapes in the late 80′s and early 90′s, you can start to see why the filmmakers weren’t too worried about smaller details like that. 

It was a different time - and in that way - worse. 

If we look at the V2 (that is, the one with the gaffer tape around the neck and the overall aesthetic of ‘let’s just get this over with’) we see something that fits the part it played in ROTJ; a weapon made by a burgeoning Jedi Knight, who was probably just glad that it didn’t blow up in his face when he hit the activation plate. For my money though, I’d say that this is Luke’s saber for only a few days to a week, at most. 

For anyone who hasn’t read Shadows of the Empire, here’s a brief aside; Luke built his lightsaber using plans he found in Ben Kenobi’s Hut on Tatooine, hence an in-universe reason why the sabers look so similar. After losing to Vader on Cloud City, Luke and his allies spent the next several months recuperating and making plans to rescue Han from Jabba the Hutt. During this time, Luke was able to scrounge the parts necessary to build his new lightsaber; a high-energy reflector cup, diatium power cell and a focusing lens, etc. The only thing he needed to complete his blade was the main crystal. Due to a lack of resources (thanks to Old Palpy himself), Luke was forced to use a synthetic crystal. After a solid month of work, he finally completed his saber and it’s here where we more-or-less meet the narrative of the film. There are dozens of pictures that depict Luke fighting on the sail barge, on Endor and on the Second Death Star - and in the vast majority of them, he’s holding the V2.

So where does the V3 come in, within the context of this story? 

Well, after the conclusion of ROTJ and the events of the next several days as depicted in The Truce at Bakura, I would imagine that Luke took some time to reevaluate his saber. Maybe it had begun to malfunction? Maybe the insulation wasn’t properly protecting the power source from the superconductor after all? Or maybe he was just slightly embarrassed that his (not-so) shiny new Jedi weapon had a strip of tape holding it together? The point is, I would imagine that he probably made a trip or two down to the ol’ hangar bay and had a chat with one of the chief mechanics, who was then able to procure some slightly higher-quality components.

The gaff tape is outta there; it doesn’t provide proper insulation and it just doesn’t befit the only Jedi Knight left in the whole galaxy. After the insulator was properly (re)installed, it’s conceivable that Luke took the neck to a milling machine and polished it to expose the metal underneath, revealing its copper-brass color. For that matter, Luke probably gave the whole thing a good once over with some steel wool. Now at least it doesn’t look like a Bantha shat it out after an evening meal. And as it turns out, with proper dimetris circuitry, he doesn’t need the nipple on top of the emitter to stabilize the blade, so he just removed it.

That’s the way it probably stayed for several years; it looked more polished and was properly functional. It would still have the long clamp lever and the unique circuit card over the activation plate, as well as the cone knob and mystery chunk, but we’re already starting to look more like the V3. Then we get to the Thrawn Campaign and shortly after, Operation Shadow Hand with the reborn Emperor. After these threats had passed, we do know (via The Jedi Academy Trilogy) that Luke spent some time contemplating his place/role in the galaxy - it was shortly after this that he decided to establish the Jedi Praxeum on Yavin IV, after all. 

By now the clamp lever is getting a bit sad; probably more trouble that it’s worth to replace just the clamp lever, so why not replace the whole thing? And that clamp card is pretty grotty, so it’s time to fix that. And I would imagine that he would be a bit tired of having the cone knob & mystery chunk cutting into his hand (I can relate, fam) so let’s just rework that booster. What we come away with is something that looks almost bang-on like the stock Rudy Pando V3; no emitter nipple, copper wind vane, new activation card and clamp, and no extra greeblies. 

From then on his saber stays pretty much the same for a couple of decades....until he recovers it from UnuThul/Lomi Plo after The Dark Nest crisis. 

Now, because we know that Luke did build a replacement after UnuThul confiscated his first saber (one which apparently looked almost identical to his OG saber - sure, okay, Troy Denning), I think this is where the Hero saber enters the narrative. Most likely only a short time after he claimed the title of Grand Master of the Order (around the time when the Jedi were preparing to launch an all-out attack on the Dark Nest and thus the newly minted GM would need a functioning saber), I’d like to think that Luke let his natural mechanical ability and technical knowhow run a bit wild - he builds a very close facsimile of his saber, but this time with a proper control box and indicator lights, better basic construction, etc. Once he recovered his original saber, I don’t think it would be out of the question for him to carry over a few design tweaks he had just made with the Hero. Notably, he added back the nipple on the emitter - in the long run, it’s just better to have it since it prevents power bleed-off (or something - lads, I’m literally pulling all of this out of me arse) and more than anything, because it improves the overall profile. And on top of that, it looks like he added some mesh coverings to some of the heat venting ports(?), probably to prevent grime or dirt from building up over time. Smart man, that Luke Skywalker.

And at last, we have arrived at the construction we see in the pictures above; this is (for me) Luke’s saber as he carries it in his duels with both Darth Cadeus & Lumiya, when he goes into (more-or-less) self-imposed exile and through to when he confronts Abeloth and eventually becomes one with the Force.

This has been my TED Talk. Thank you for coming. 😅

Oh, and because I suspect that some of the more eagle-eyed readers out there will be wondering - where does the Yuma fit into all this? Well hey, this is my metanarrative. Go make your own. 😉

[jebazzled]

Why Aren’t People Writing With Me?

Why aren't people writing with me?

Real talk: do you often find yourself waiting weeks or even months between partners replying to your posts? Do people seem to prioritize all their other threads over yours? Do people seem to be just not that jazzed about writing with you? It's the worst feeling, when you're spinning your wheels and on the outskirts, wondering why you're struggling to gain traction. Sometimes, sites just be like that - people writing with their friends, or closed groups hard for a newer member to break into, or folks writing on slow timelines, or not keeping track of how long they've kept a partner waiting. It comes with the territory. But sometimes, it might be your writing that's holding your threads back. I know what you're thinking:

But it's something everyone can genuinely stand to consider, when they're having trouble getting a thread to keep moving: how much of this is my thread partner holding me up, and how much of it is me? Is there anything I can do to keep things moving? No matter how long you've been writing or how advanced a writer you are, it can be easy to forget that writing is ultimately a game of improv, and writing well is only part of the job. Part of the job is setting your partner up for a good time, too.

This tutorial is about writing starters & replies that make your thread partner excited to write back.

We'll be covering:

Starters that stall vs. starters that enthrall (sorry! the rhyme was necessary.)

Common tactics for writing replies - and common pitfalls of them

Alternate approaches to writing replies

Hopefully, these tips and tricks will improve your rp experience - because aren't we all here for a good time?

Onward!

STARTERS

Ah, starters. The bane of every roleplayer's existence. Starters are difficult because they often require some scene-setting, leaving the writer to try to set up a premise and a vibe without powerplaying for their partner. And then, you've got to start the interaction. There's a lot to contend with, so a lot of people avoid starters at all costs.

Personally, I like starting a thread: this way, I'm not waiting on a post; I have control over when it goes up. Thread partners often appreciate you writing a starter for them, so it's an easy way to engender good will. And finally, for me, it lets me make sure the thread is off to a good, actionable start.

Starters come with pressure - the starter sets the tone for the thread. A dud starter will stump your partner on replying, and they may even grow to dread posting. Which isn't fun for either of you!

Some things to consider when crafting a starter that will get your partner excited:

PREMISE Whether you're writing an open thread or a plotted thread for a specific partner, every starter needs a premise. The premise might be simple: perhaps your character is going to pickpocket your partner's. Maybe it's two friends catching up. It could be two strangers bumping into each other in an alley. It might also be more complex: maybe you're setting up an enemies-friends-lovers-enemies-rivals-lovers-friends-enemies plot. Maybe your character is defending the teaching of evolution to schoolchildren before a jury of his peers. Maybe it's a duel.

Generally, the more specific the premise, the better. This doesn't mean you need every beat of the thread plotted out, but it is good to think about: What do we want each character to get out of the thread? 

Think of this as your overall goal for the thread. Is one character seeking reassurance or advice? Is there a business transaction being made? Have you and your partner agreed to hurt one character in a duel? If you can't think of an overall goal or point for the thread, the chances of stalling are high. This is common with "catch up" threads, especially ones in which neither character has particularly exciting updates to share. If only one character is "getting something" out of the thread, be careful in your own posts to set up plenty for your partner to respond to. Not every thread will have equal actionable payoff for both characters, which isn't inherently a bad thing. But if your posts don't give your partner much to engage with, the thread can read as selfish or one-sided - which isn't anyone's intention!

How do we want the events of this thread to impact this character, moving forward? 

Related to the above, if both characters can walk away from this thread without any change - perhaps reconsider the premise or necessity of your thread. There is no shame in not doing a thread when it wouldn't mean anything to character development or plot progression for either character! "Just because" threads are always the first that drop on thread priorities - why not save yourself the trouble, and plot something you will both be excited about?

What is the most reasonable entrypoint for this thread? 

Reality is filled with filler - moments in which nothing interesting happens, but which carry us from point A to point B. Conversation that goes nowhere and just happens for the sake of filling silence. But this isn't reality, this is fiction, which means we can cut the boring stuff and jump straight into the meat. If your premise is Character A pickpocketing Character B, don't open with Character A just wandering around the market, waiting for Character B to wander around the market, so Character A can pickpocket them: close your starter with Character A's hand around Character B's wallet. This gives your thread partner something to respond to (the theft) and in two fewer posts than it would have taken otherwise.

ACTION Dialogue is an engine for plot progression and for character development, and there is nothing quite as satisfying as strong dialogue. But questions, greetings, and other standard ways to launch an in-character conversation aren't your only options.

All a starter needs is action, and saying "hello," "what are you doing," or "hey! That's my pod racer!" are all actions. But actions can be silent, too, so long as they trigger a reaction from your writing partner. Character A pulling their hand out of the butt pocket on Character B's jeans, wallet in hand, begs Character B to react. Character C puking into the same trash can where Character D is searching for the utility bill they need for proof of address gives Character D something to dodge. Character E speedwalking through the grocery store and destroying the greeting card aisle gives Character F something to be horrified at. Even if A, C, and E all do it without saying a word. One thing you'll notice about each of the above premises is that they involve doing something - pickpocketing, puking/dumpster diving, grocery shopping. If you suspect your starters are leaving people underwhelmed, consider building your premise around action. The action doesn't need to be dramatic like the above examples. For instance, let's say that Character G is catching up with Character H after her divorce. They can do this over coffee in Character G's living room - but if they're walking their dogs while Character G's kids are with her ex-husband, you and your partner can use the dogs as emotional stand-ins:

Hannah dug her heels into the ground as Penelope started after a squirrel. Beside her, Gloria and Fifi both seemed not to see it. Hannah had never seen Gloria so out of it, so disconnected from the world around her. It frightened her. "How's Fifi holding up?" she asked, quietly, once Penelope calmed down and they kept walking. "I know Mike wasn't great to her, but - she probably misses the routine?"

Giving the characters some sort of verb to do beyond talking gives you more lenses through which to view an interaction, plus more opportunity for body language for your partner to respond to.

STARTERS: TL;DR Now that we've talked about how to start a thread on the right foot, let's quickly review our main food for thought items. Mind Snacks, if you will:

What do we want to get out of this thread?

Start on track for that result - do not lead with a detour!

Build around action - even small ones

Is the concept of this thread important or interesting? Would we be better served skipping it and writing something else?

REPLIES

Now your thread is off the ground. Excellent! It's a few posts in but your partner doesn't seem very excited - maybe they don't message you about how much they liked your reply, or how fun the thread is so far, or maybe they don't react to the tag in the server; maybe it's radio silence from them until they reply a month and a half later, when they're caught up on the threads they seem to keep shuffling ahead of yours. How do we move your thread up in the shuffle? Make it fun to reply to, and easy to reply to.

COMMON APPROACHES  An easy way to tackle a reply is by having your character react to each action and dialogue from your partner's character:

Maycey slid into the navigator's seat of the L2-47 spaceship, almost kicking over a cup of Dark Matter Decaf.

"Sorry," she said, not looking at Brooks. "Are we still checking out Planet 42601, or did General Berry have us change course?" Brooks watched Maycey enter the cockpit, snorting as she almost knocked over his coffee. Though it wouldn't be funny to see what the brew would do to the controls of the L2-47. "No problem," he said. "General Berry wants us to do a pass over 42601, but we aren't doing a full landing."

This reply covers everything Maycey did in her post, but doesn't advance the thread. What comes next? Brooks hasn't given Maycey much information to process, nothing to act on, no juicy body language to consider. Maycey's writer is fully on their own to advance the thread. To move it forward in a meaningful way, they might come up with a plot development they need to run by Brooks's writer to make sure it's not stepping on anything Brooks had planned. They may need to make up some lore. They may need to expand the premise of the thread. Brooks may or may not have helpful input, but when push comes to shove, Maycey is the one who is going to put it in their reply.

Maycey whipped her gaze to her captain, shocked. "But sir - we've come all this way to rescue 42601. Berry - sorry, General Berry wants us to abandon them? Their distress signal took three days to reach us; the atomospheric poisoning has got to be lethal by now." Her hands didn't touch the controls - she couldn't bear to take them off course to the desperate planet. "Sir, we have to do what's right." Brooks took a sip of his coffee, thinking about his own family back on Orbital Sphere 23-Y2K. They'd put out a distress signal years ago, back in his own training days. He'd seen it during radar detection class, and he'd had to ignore it. For the Good of the Galaxy. Not a day goes by that he doesn't think about the flashing signal on his screen, and about clicking the popup window. Dismiss. This, too, is for the Good of the Galaxy. He has to pretend it doesn't bother him. "The right thing is what General Berry says," he said, putting the coffee cup back in its cupholder. "For the Good of the Galaxy."

All of that work from Maycey, and Brooks only gave us one sentence to propel the plot. Yes, he had a lengthy internal monologue debating it - but that interiority means nothing to Maycey, who isn't a mind-reader. In this scenario, the focus on Brooks's tragic backstory, without giving Maycey anything actionable, sets up a very one-sided dynamic. If this happens consistently over one or many threads, the tragic backstory no longer feels tragic in a meaningful way, but just feels like a trite device to be trotted out - to tell rather than show a reader that a character has depth.

How could this post give Maycey more to work off of? Below is the same reply from Brooks, with additions made in green, rearranged wording in blue.

Brooks could feel Maycey's stare - bewildered and accusatory. He can hardly blame her, but she should know by now that this is how the Galaxy stays out of the Great Bezosian Black Hole. Sheer obedience. He avoided her eye contact, took a sip of coffee. Sheer obedience. Just like years ago - back in his own training days. He'd seen it during radar detection class, his own family's distress signal back on Orbital Sphere 23-Y2K, and he'd had to ignore it. For the Good of the Galaxy. Not a day goes by that he doesn't think about the flashing signal on his screen, and about clicking the popup window. Dismiss. This, too, is for the Good of the Galaxy. He has to pretend it doesn't bother him. "The right thing is what General Berry says," he said, putting the coffee cup back in its cupholder - his hands are shaking; it misses the rim twice, sloshes onto the knee of his parasuit. "For the Good of the Galaxy."

This version acknowledges the primary beat of Maycey's post (something we will talk about later) - that is, her accusation - and adds body language betraying his doubts. While interiority is great, externalization makes it possible for other characters to engage with your character's thoughts and motives. Brooks's new post gives Maycey more to engage with, which will better set her up to give Brooks more to engage with, and so on. When you both do the lifting, you both have a better time.

Another common method - especially in conversational threads, especially in "catching up" premises - is to lean on dialogue and, more specifically, questions. But most conversations we have in life aren't nonstop questions!

"Trudy said you got married," Annabelle said, fiddling with the edge of the linen tablecloth. "Is that true? I thought you didn't like Edgar - not like that." Sasha took an enormous bite of raw cucumber, not even bothering to slice it. "We just got engaged, we're not married yet. Don't you like Edgar?" Annabelle looked away, suddenly nervous. She didn't know why it mattered to her whether or not Sasha liked Edgar - only that it did. "He's fine, I guess. But do you like him?" "I do! I love him. Will you be my maid of honor?" Sasha grinned at her friend. She wanted nothing else in the world but for Annabelle to be part of her special day.

This series of posts involves a number of questions both stated in dialogue:

Is Sasha married?

Does Sasha like Edgar?

Does Annabelle like Edgar?

Will Annabelle be Sasha's maid of honor?

And unstated:

Why is Annabelle nervous?

Why does Annabelle care whether or not Sasha likes Edgar?

The stated questions are yes/no questions, somewhat procedural. The unstated question and its implication - that Annabelle cares about whether or not Sasha likes Edgar because she might like Sasha - is a juicier question than the minutiae of wedding planning. But Sasha's writer isn't letting Sasha notice or react to any of Annabelle's body language (her nervousness, her fiddling with the tablecloth) and focuses instead on the simple questions, which are a cover for what isn't being said. Information does not need to be voiced for it to be acted upon. Let's look at the same line of posts, with additions in green for Sasha and in pink for Annabelle.

"Trudy said you got married," Annabelle said, fiddling with the edge of the linen tablecloth. "Is that true? I thought you didn't like Edgar - not like that." Sasha had wondered when Annabelle would ask. She seems on-edge, fiddling with the tablecloth, as though they've never had a picnic outside before. She's not sure why Annabelle is out of sorts, but it's making her feel out of sorts. Sasha took an enormous bite of raw cucumber, not even bothering to slice it. "We just got engaged, we're not married yet. Don't you like Edgar?" She gently grasped Annabelle's fingers, unclenching them from the hem of the tablecloth. "Edgar thinks you're the bee's knees." Sasha's hand on hers - her stomach did a flip, palms instantly feeling clammy, like she could swoon in the summer sun. Annabelle looked away, suddenly nervous. It's worse that Edgar likes her. Makes her feel vile for resenting him like she does. She didn't know why it mattered to her whether or not Sasha liked Edgar - only that it did. "He's fine, I guess. But do you like him?" It's a silly question - of course she loves him; how could she have said yes otherwise? But Annabelle seems not to believe her. Annabelle seems to worry. Annabelle is worried so much of the time - and so much for her - she tries to be reassuring, gripping her friend by the shoulders, offering a grin. "I do! I love him. Will you be my maid of honor?" She wanted nothing else in the world but for Annabelle to be part of her special day. Annabelle is her best friend - the only person she could stand at the altar with besides Edgar.

See how much more complex the dynamic is between these two when they have things to react to other than dialogue?

REPLIES PART 1: TL;DR So now we've addressed two common approaches to replies and seen how they can fall short, and discussed tips for elevating them. Your main takeaways:

Acting is reacting - react to your partner's dialogue AND body language, and give them some to work from, too!

Dialogue is not a game of Questions Only

If you're not driving the thread forward, you're slacking - don't leave it to your partner every time!

SYNTHESIZING: YOUR NEW APPROACH TO WRITING REPLIES

Now that we've discussed the pitfalls of action-by-action responses and dialogue-only threading, let's synthesize all of the above into one methodology for writing replies. The common pitfall of action-by-action responses is that one writer ends up only ever progressing the thread one sentence at a time - thinking of a post in terms of beats helps separate what actually needs substantive response, versus what is background information to inform your response. When I write a reply, I copy and paste my partner's post into the wordcounter window where I write my posts. I read their post and identify the beats - that is, what actually happens. For example: 

Getting elected student body president was no joke. Hattie had worked for eleven long years to earn the position - bossed around her peers all the way from preschool. Back then, she'd been interested in power and prestige. But by the time she'd won the election junior year, she was exhausted. Now, on her first day of senior year, she was just excited about the choice parking spot. And yet, someone had the audacity - the nerve - to cut her off on the turn into the Keppler Family Parking Pavilion and slide right into her coveted parking spot. Crooked, so they took up the access lane to the adjoining handicapped spot. Too far forward, enough that she could see the metal RESERVED FOR STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT sign shaking on top of its pole. She threw herself out of her car, aiming the sole of her left Doc Marten into the license plate of the offender's Buick. "Hey, genius, there's no fucking run-off election this year!"

Because this is a starter, much of this is scene setting, which my partner could choose to echo, but the main things for them to react to are what my character - Hattie - offers in the moment:

dramatically throwing herself out of the car

kicking their license plate

swearing at them

Once I've distilled a post to the beats I need to respond to, I work my way through them, creating beats for my partner to respond to. With this method, a reply to the above might look like this:

Aunt Mildred's car was affectionately called The Boat for the first ten years of its life. Huge and unsinkable. That had changed when Aunt Mildred died in a boating accident over the summer, leaving Mikey the Boat's captain. Now, he just called it the Buick. And he wasn't very good at driving it - already he'd been honked at twice, overshot the turn into the parking lot, tires riding up on the curb. He pulled into the first available space. Figured he was outside the lines - but it seemed like the Buick was too wide to fit between lines anyway. And Aunt Mildred had never been one to follow rules. The terrible park job was in her memory. The sound of metal crunching at the back of the car, however, was not. If it's an accident, the Boat - the Buick - always wins, so Mikey gathered his violin case and drawstring backpack from the passenger seat, opened the driver's side door, and slowly got out of the car, turning his beanie backwards as if it mattered while he shuffled in his Adidas slides to the trunk, where a very short, very angry girl driving a Smart Car was trying to put the Boat - the Buick - in its place. "The car's not moving," he said, pulling a roll of Bubble Tape out of his backpack and taking a huge bite out of it. "But thanks for telling me my voting rights."

Mikey responds to Hattie's abuse of his car, but also gives Hattie a lot to respond to - minor dialogue, but a LOT of personal eccentricities that are bound to piss her off.

The dialogue and the action contribute to the trajectory of the thread - and giving Hattie something to play with keeps the musing about Aunt Mildred from feeling self-indulgent.

It's a small shift, going from thinking of posts as paragraphs to respond to to thinking of them as specific, small, actionable moments - but it makes a difference, especially in encouraging writers to be more thoughtful about creating opportunities for their partner to react.

REPLIES PART 2: TL;DR

beats, babey! not every sentence requires a response, but be sure to write some that do, whether it be dialogue or action.

ACTING IS REACTING!!!!!! if you don't give your partner something to react to, you are letting them down!

And that's all there is to it! Hopefully these examples are helpful as you think about ways to drive your plots and threads, and how to keep your own writing great for collaboration. The most important thing is to think of your writing partner. What do they need to be able to write back? What will make this thread exciting for them? How can you make sure this thread isn't serving you alone? Cheers, and happy writing!

[sleeplessandstubborn]

Emily in Paris or why I stopped caring for the main character and started rooting for the French. Episode 2.

I must confess one thing. I have a sort of admiration for people who have the habit and the will of go running before work, because I don’t do these things, and people who can do it while wearing what seems like a lace top (?) maybe more adequate for other things, but who am I to judge if Emily looks perfectly fine when running while I look like a bag with sport wear. So congratulations Miss Cooper you are doing well in this aspect. Also shows that Emily is adapting her schedules and her habits to her new life. Example: she’s not going to arrive early to work this time. Lesson learnt, so good for her!

Unfortunately there are still things she must get right. Example given, knowing exactly where her apartment is. She again tries to invade her cute neighbour’s home, which causes him to ask if she wants to live in his apartment. At this stage, there are reasons to suspect indeed. But there’s no time enough for our two character to devour each other with their eyes, so, after a last invitation to bang anytime from our delicious neighbour Emily goes back home to get a shower and dress for work.

Her white boots, however, have an unfortunate encounter with a material of animal origin. She’s naturally disgusted and deals with it making another Instagram post. Discovering, by the way, that she’s gaining more and more followers for ther photos of fictional! Paris.

Sidenote: this scene can mean two things from yours truly’s point of view. Either Emily’s next days are going to be shitty or she’s going to be ultimately lucky. In France or Spain is very common to wish good luck with the word merde (or well, mierda in Spanish). In both cases it comes from the times people went to theatre or opera house in carriages drawn with horses. So a load of shit meant: you are in the greatest show in town. But probably is not that deep.

At Savoir, la Plouc is decaying as Emily’s sobriquet, and only Julien greets her with it. Besides, Emily has learn to strike back. Or rather is her smartphone the one she uses to retort Va te faire foutre! Which mean Fuck you but it’s not that imaginative. Why not mange tes morts, or some decent French swearing. Anyway well done, Emily, because this makes her earn Julien’s respect.

... But evidently not Sylvie’s. She is clearly contemplating the void and wondering if some kind of karmic justice has sent her this girl that can’t figure out why is la plouc instead of le plouc or won’t pronounce the name of the fragance De L’Heure from Lavaux. Sylvie doesn’t want to listen her ideas for promoting Lavaux’s last product. A little discussion insues between the two ladies. Must luxury remain an enclosed world? Should it be democratized in some way? Of course Emily thinks the point of view of an outsider could help, but, could you point at the outsider in this scene? Of course Emily is not French and still dealing with the continuous cultural clash. But she doesn’t seem an outsider by any means. And, ah. There’s a launch party for De L’Heure so she better hurry up and put some thing that doesn’t resemble whatever she’s wearing.

Was that fashion advice from Sylvie? Who knows. In any case, Emily looks quite pretty with her black dress. The handbag is funny but highly debatable. And she’s overjoyed and bubbly as she pursues trays full of delicious food. Which is a faux pas, from Sylvie’s point of view.

Enter Antoine Lambert from Maison Lavaux a.k.a. another Frenchman who is going to be attracted towards Emily’s many charms. Because that’s what Frenchmen do in this series. She fails to understand what a nose means in the world of fragances - it’s not that harsh to figure out, sometimes I wonder why they have written her like that; she’s suffering a severe case of cultural clash, but it doesn’t mean she’s stupid, argh -. Antoine is creeptractive. Especially in the next scene.

Which takes place in this terrace with the gorgeous view of a glittering Eiffel Tower. This makes Emily smile and would do everyone else who had the opportunity to assist. This makes up for Sylvie saying that she’s talking too much about bussiness during the party, which is something she should not do.

Monsieur le Creeptractive follows her and tests the fragance on her skin. A really weird dialogue about how she should have a French boyfriend because you learn French in bed... Yeah, sure.  Emily profess her fidelity to her engaged to be engaged Doug back in Chicago. Something that he doesn’t deserve but more on that immediately after. He smells her in a way that would make many women shudder and run away and compliments (?) her on smelling like expensive sex. Yikes yikes yikes.

All in all, is a successful night for Emily, but as she discovers the next day, she’s supposed to work not in the promotion of De l’Heure, but in some product  called Vaga-Jeune to help woment to combat vaginal dryness. Is that a mean move by Sylvie, or it’s only a logical thing for Emily to start there, given she has experience in pharmaceuticals? Discuss. She also tells our heroine not to be too flirty with Antoine, who is married to one of her very good friends. But immediately after Julien drops the bomb: Sylvie is actually Antoine’s mistress. Oops.

In order to deal with the amount of unwanted information, Emily texts to Mindy and they go for a dinner. Mindy gives her a few tips to survive in the complicate environment of a city where everyone is having affairs with everyone. As if in Paris - like everywhere else - didn’t exist people who doesn’t care about sex. In this universe, Emily still can’t wrap her head around the endemic lack of conyugal fidelity in this series.

We learn more about Mindy, who maybe would deserve more than being only Asian token character which is supportive of the main one just because. Indeed Mindy is for now my favourite character here, along with Sylvie. Mindy turns out to be in Paris because her millionaire zipper king father wanted her in the bussiness school, but, since living in Paris was one of her dreams, Mindy dropped it and became a nanny instead. Now she’s been cut off by dad, but she’s free and, besides, she finds funny to have grown up surrounded by nannies and now being one of them.

The temptation of MIndy taking over Emily in this series is too big when just in the next scene she thinks she can “educate the chef a little bit about customer service” without even tasting her steak, which she wants done more. Customer are not always right; some of them behave like annoying assholes. She swallows her words as Gabriel from downstairs emerges from the kitchen because of course he’s the chef. Somewhat that convinces her she should taste the steak before giving her opinion. It turns out the steak is wonderful, it was wonderful the whole time. Emily please. Try to behave.

(also Mindy wouldn’t mind to taste the chef instead of the steak, which is understandable)

Next day Emily is happily roaming around the market with a little hat perched on her head and the mind full of Chicago Boyfriend Doug. The little hat is so stupid that it’s almost charming, like someone more fit for a musical than for real people walking on real streets. She seems to have befriended the woman from the boulangerie, too! However, the happiness is to be shortlived...

... Because Doug, as his first scene already indicated, is someone who can’t bother to take his ass into a plane and fly to Paris where there is nothing to do while expecting for his girlfriend to come back from job. This guy must have one, but he’s so lazy that one wonders if he inherited it. Notice that, unlike in Paris, there are cars in Chicago. Doug proceeds then to inelegantly dump his girlfriend by phone.

Very fitting to have Emily standing just next to the Panthéon when the call is over and their relationship as dead as the people inside.

Emily is logically sad after this and the weather seems to agree with her mood, probably she cried to her sleep, or at least she shed some tears. He doesn’t deserve it, honey.

Her mood doesn’t improve when, at the office, she discovers a new thing. Yes, you have grammatical gender in French, as well as in other European languages. She is puzzled because, starting her campaign for Vaga-Jeune, she discovers vagine is a masculine word in French. She doesn’t understand it, and, in typical Emily fashion, she decides the problem is with this language she knows virtually nothing about.

She also learns a very important word for her future life in Paris: grève, which means strike. And it’s not going only a vagina strike. But who knows, she lives in a parallel universe so maybe there are no strikes there (since there is no public transport and/or services on sight even if we know it exist somewhere). And of course, post something on her Instagram account about how vaginas are not masculine.

During her (daily, one guess) conversation with Mindy during the lunch break, Emily loses at last this overoptimistic side of her that makes the character annoying and vents a little about her general exasperation. She thinks she’ll never learn the language (but girl, you barely tried, don’t be so harsh with yourself), or be simply tolerated by her workmates, or even understand how the city was built. She’ll be all right, Mindy insists, not very impressed at her friend’s disperation.

Which follows is one of the most cringeworthy deus-ex-machina I have seen, and adequately being a deus-ex-machina it comes from l’Élysée. Wink wink, mythology aficionados.

By the way, it’s that the façade which gives to the main courtyard of the French presidential palace? Yes it is. Here I am wondering where this footage came from and when it was filmed because I am that way. Seems the flag is at half mast from that point of view so... this could help to know in which moment was filmed... But screw that, you aren’t here for my personal obsessions, so lets go right to the point.

Somewhat Carla Bruni finds Emily’s post about vaginas utterly fascinating, to the extent that she has to share it with Brigitte Macron. And of course the current French First Lady (even if officially there is not such title in France) agrees and posts it in her Twitter account. We only see Fictional!Brigitte from her back. Real Brigitte doesn’t have accounts on social networks, by the way, which is understandable since after a while one gets tired of playing the game of guessing if the one who made the mysoginist and idiotic post is from the extreme right or the extreme left (it’s a difficult thing to tell apart, I assure you). Of course Emily’s post gets viral.

Brigitte Macron just retweeted you, bitch! is not bad as unexpected sentence on a screenplay in 2020, congratulations. Her partners at Savoir are overjoyed and suddenly Emily can share a table with them, yay! Though evolving from la plouc to our Vaga-Jeune is not really improving that much I guess? So that’s the end of the episode and Emily’s life seems not-so-that-depressing all of a sudden. So thank you Brigitte.

And that was Episode 2 of Emily in Paris. Our heroine was slightly less annoying than on first one, probably because the reality of being in a totally different country is starting to hit her and she’s had a few humblings by this moment. For the next one, we’ll know more about Monsieur le Creeptractive & the nonsense of fragance advertisements.

[nellied-reviews]

The Empty Man Cometh Re-listen

Hey, it's episode 9 of my Wolf 359 re-listen, which means it's time for a particularly iconic episode:

The Empty Man Cometh

In which Eiffel freaks out, Minkowski freaks out and Hilbert freaks out. Seriously, that's the whole episode. 

This episode, like I said above, is iconic. It's memorable, it's tense, and it's funny, in a dark, weird sort of way. Plus, it's the example par excellence of why Command are the Actual Worst. I had some very fond memories of it, going in, many of which it didn't entirely live up to, even if I generally enjoyed the episode.

As the episode begins, though, it does set its situation up really well. We have an ion storm incoming, after all, which works as a handy bit of spacey technobabble. We kind of suspect, until the final reveal, that the ion storm might have something to do with this Empty Man thing, which encourages us to view the episode's biggest threat as something vaguely external to the Hephaestus, something coming from the vast, impersonal void of space.

After this groundwork, however, all we get is essentially one long build-up and release of tension. We've already seen Wolf 359 trying for a horror episode - hello, Super Energy Saver Mode - so we already know this is something the show can do. And unsurprisingly, it does it pretty well here too, only using the "aaaargh, there's something weird out there" monster film model instead of the "aaargh, there's something weird in here" ghost story model. It's a simple idea, and it plays out pretty much like you'd expect, right until the end of the episode.

The messages the Hephaestus receive, I have to say, are amazing in their sheer weirdness, and I have a real affection for the moment where Eiffel shoots down the idea that they're somehow mistakes. He's 100% right that a real error would just be random letters or numbers, and pointing it out feels like a nice genre-savvy touch. Plus, after several episodes of Eiffel walking straight into horror movie clichés, it's nice to see some common sense from him.

Unfortunately, knowing that they're deliberate only makes the messages more mysterious, since they give the crew literally nothing to go off. The messages are clearly warnings, but beyond that, it's very hard to figure out what, if anything, the crew are supposed to do off the back of them. The messages put pressure on the crew by counting down ominously. But apart from that, it's essentially meaningless input. There are no instructions for the crew, no useful bits of information. There are just some very confusing words on a printout.

And, given the revelation that it was all a psychological experiment, might this not be the point? Perhaps Command want to know how humans react to their own powerlessness in the face of the totally incomprehensible, the terrifying Unknown. In fact, given that Command have a real interest in human communication with aliens - the ultimate terrifying Unknown - this would actually make sense. Heck, it even makes sense for them to specifically be doing this onboard the Hephaestus - theirs is the ship that Command expect to make contact with real life aliens, any day now. We could maybe see this experiment as a sort of psychological inoculation, preparing the crew for moment they finally get a message from the Dear Listeners.

Either way, if it's psychological reactions Command want to observe, we get them here by the bucketful. Eiffel, for example, alternates between freaking out and trying to convince himself that it's stopped. Hilbert, from what we can see, turns to technology, buckling down and running scans, while Minkowski is the one comparing the messages, trying to pull out patterns. It's an admirable impulse, but I suspect it's exactly what Command are playing off here. As humans, we love to find patterns. It gives us a sense of control. But faced with something that is incomprehensible, the sense of control slips away. And so, as level-headed as Minkowski seems, she freaks out in the end just like the others.

It's also worth mentioning that this is the point where the episode pulls out all the stops to freak us out, too. Seriously, from the use of tense music and creepy sound effects, to the absence of Hera's reassuring presence during large parts of the episode, to Eiffel whispering the final message, all of this is so spooky. I mean, things build to a peak, the power cuts out, everybody's losing their mind, and then-

Oh. It was all a psychological experiment. Ugh, Command. Why are you like this?

It's a deliberately dissatisfying, anticlimactic ending. We want to heave a sigh of relief that the Empty Man isn't real, that the crew survived. But any positive feelings linked to the release of tension are drowned out in righteous indignation and - for us, if not for the crew - a feeling that we've been robbed of the exciting horror story we were expecting. We, along with the crew, have had the rug pulled out from under us, and while it's something the show's done before - remember, uh, last episode, within which Box 953 never got explained or followed up on? - it's the first time it's felt cruel. Box 953 was an accident, accidents happen. But this? This is just mean-spirited, so we end the episode firmly aligned with Minkowski and Eiffel in their feelings of anger and betrayal.

The only positive? I do feel like this shared, terrifying experience brings the crew closer together, as evidenced by their plan to write a sternly worded letter and send it to Command tomorrow. I'm not sure how effective it will be. But the thought's nice. Plus it might give them a sense of control back, and who am I to argue with that? 

It's a bright moment at the end of an episode that otherwise leaves us frustrated and angry, putting us through the psychological wringer alongside the crew. As an exercise in building up tension, it's effective, and it doesn't completely lose that tension on a re-listen, even knowing the ending. I still found myself jumping at some of the noises in this, you know? And scary countdowns will always be scary!

That said, I do think that some of the impact this had the first time I listened to it was lost this time. The first time I listened to this, after all, I remember getting freaked out by the prospect of the Empty Man, but also invested in figuring out what it was. Knowing that the messages are meaningless, I was less invested in that this time round. And weirdly, I also remember finding the crew's freak-out and their subsequent rage at the anticlimactic nature of it all funnier the first time round - perhaps because it was so unexpected? In any case, that didn't carry over as much this time, either.

Nevertheless, I would say that this episode was still perfectly fine, and my ill-will towards Command has, if anything, intensified. But it was certainly a different experience on a re-listen, with different things standing out. Which, in the end, is what a re-listen is for, I guess. Some episodes improve dramatically. Some don't. For me, this one falls into the latter category, which might just be due to how strong a reaction I had to it the first time I heard it. And that's fine. Not every episode can - or should - be made for fans on a re-listen.

And hey, if you found it just as good, or better, the second time round? More power to you ^-^

 Miscellaneous thoughts:

Minkowski saying that they might survive this with minimal damage *shakes head*. Has nobody on this station heard of tempting fate?

Is the pulse beacon relay sound effect actually a cash register sound? It's effective, either way - I love how clunky it sounds :)

This episode is also a really good opportunity to show us how the pulse beacon relay works. Which totally won't be relevant ever again. Nope. Not at all.

Un momento por favor, Doctor Hilberto." Why does this line amuse me so much?

"Decide what to do with the time that is given to you." Aaaaaaaaah bad bad bad!

Hilbert speaks Russian, Swedish, Norwegian, German and Afrikaans?! How did Afrikaans get in there? (headcanons 100% welcome here)

Aww, Minkowski thinks they should all get a good night's sleep. Sound advice in most situations tbh

[prideandpen]

Can I please request the reading you are offering

Libra sun, Aries moon

Can I please know how my future spouse will be like

Thank you😊

First row. Light Seer’s Tarot 6 of Swords (R), Strength (R),8 of Pentacles (R), Ace of Swords (R) Second row. Rider-Waite Tarot: 3 if Pentacles, 6 of Cups (R), King of Pentacles Third row. Wisdom of the Oracle: Mending (R), Poised, All that Glitters Fourth row. Oracle of the 7 Energies Exposed and Revealed, A Grand Symphony Fifth row. Foxfire, The Kitsune Oracle: Hope, Beneath the Surface, The Garden of the Night

Hi kawaiimarshmallow! Here’s your reading for what your future spouse is like. The reading itself is kinda long so it’s below the cut.

In the Light Seer's tarot we start off with the 6 of Swords in reverse. Right away this tells me that we're looking at someone who struggles to accept other people's help. They have a very do-it-themselves type of personality. Now keep in mind that while they are your future spouse this could be their current energy and so it's entirely possible that this something they might grow out of, or something that through your relationship they might grow out of. However this could also just be something they'll always have to work on. With Strength reversed I think that despite their do-it-alone type personality they're probably someone who struggles to see their own value and doesn’t recognize their own strength, this energy in them comes from the 8 of Pentacles in reverse where they've likely been someone who has or has had trouble reaching their goals due to inexperience, lack of motivation, or lack of interest. The Ace of Swords reversed is where we start to expand on this because I'm seeing one of two possibilities here. Either your future spouse has tried to follow a path that was pre-determined for them (thus the lack of interest) and struggles or has struggled to accept that the path laidn out for them isn’t right and that they need to follow their own path. Or this is an explanation of why they have a hard time reaching their goals and tells us this person over analyzes themselves and their work. This person probably struggles with some sort of anxiety, adhd, or other mental health disorder (though please don't take this as a diagnosis or medical advice, it's not. Just the energy from the reading) and it affects their sense of self. There is the possibility that this card in reverse (paired with what we've looked at in the other cards so far) could be suggesting that your future spouse might be a part of the lgbtq+ community and has some challenges around accepting and embracing that.

With the Rider-Waite deck to clarify the Light Seer's deck we start with the 3 of Pentacles which tells me that although this person is someone who has a difficult time accepting help from others they're generous when it comes to offering help. I get the sense that they’re the type of person who will stop what they’re doing at the drop of a hat to help others whenever they can either with advice, working on something with someone, or financially.

The 6 of cups in reverse here makes me think of two things. One, this person is probably not someone who has already been in your life but someone new. And two, that this person has to work on forgiving themselves for the things they've struggled with. Be it work, hobbies, joy, their own identity, whatever. By working on forgiving themselves they'll reach a point where they can better maintain a healthy relationship with themselves, with their future spouse (that's you!), and with others.

The King of Pentacles here is a sign that something this person does not struggle with is their finances. This goes hand in hand with their generosity as I mentioned in the 3 of Pentacles. I get the sense that this person comes from a wealthy background, maybe not insanely wealthy, but their family has definitely been comfortable financially and that carries into their own life as an adult.

With Mending in reverse as our first of the Wisdom of the Oracle cards this repeats the theme of this person needing to forgive themselves for their past in order to have healthy relationships. Seeing as there are two people in the image of the card this could be something that either you encourage or inspire in them when you enter their life, or something that happens through the course of the natural ups and downs of your relationship with them.

In Poised I can see that through forgiving themselves, healing, and beginning to accept help offered to them as much as they offer it to others they'll begin to reach the best version of who they are. They'll start to be as confident as they pretend to be and that confidence and kindness will radiate from them. And I do think they're someone who appears to be more confident than they are. They wear a mask, often showing others what they think people want to see from them, hiding their struggles and their stress with a bit of charm, a bit of money, and a bit of kindness.

All that Glitters is another card that feels like it has a double meaning. First it's another card that suggests that this person comes from a well-off family background, and second it feels like it's confirming what I said about the previous card, and how their poise isn't as well balanced as it seems. Behind their charm and confident mask they're struggling too, they just don't want people to see it. This card could also suggest that while their family is well-off they might cut ties or be uncomfortable with their family money.

Exposed and Revealed, from the 7 Energies Oracle, is about mending that guilt and forgiving themselves - if, as I mentioned earlier, they are a part of the lgbtq+ communities this could be about them coming out, to you, to others, or in general and feeling the discomfort and relief that comes with that. If not, this could simply be about allowing you to see behind their mask and showing you their struggles. Ultimately it's about vulnerability, the kind that comes with either trust or necessity, and sometimes both.

It could also go along with the next card, A Grand Symphony, which brings me back to what I said earlier about how they've maybe tried to fit themselves into a pre-determined role that isnt right for them. I'm getting orchestral vibes from this card, particularly string instruments like the violin, so maybe your future spouse is a musician or involved with music in some way. This could also be another card about accepting help. In order to be a part of any type of team, including an orchestra, including a relationship, you have to be able to work with other people help them, and accept help in return. There has to be trust, and a willingness to allow others to see your struggles and a willingness to accept help in improving.

In the Foxfire Oracle we start with Hope. This card makes it abundantly clear to me that although your future spouse is someone who struggles initially, and maybe for awhile, with something as important as accepting help from others and letting people see beneath their mask they will let you in, in time. And not only that, but their struggles with finding their own way in life - be it with their identity, orientation, work, etc - are far from hopeless. They will find their way through to happiness, they'll find the things that really do glitter and enjoy that grand symphony of a life coming together beautifully.

Beneath the Surface is the first card here that makes me think that at first you might not be taken in by their charm and pretend confidence. You might not dislike them at first, but I feel like you wont be particularly fond of them. The word arrogant comes to mind. You might, at first, think them pretentious because of the confident way they act or even because of their money. You might even at first think it's their kindness that's fake and not their confidence. But once you get to know them you'll start to see what's beneath the surface; what's good, what's bad, and what's real.

The Garden of the Night repeats this, saying that what looks one way in one light might look another in a different light. Things, people, situations, challenges, are not always what they appear to be at first. Good things might not be so good. Things that bother you might come to delight you, challenges may actually be opportunities. One other thing I see in this card is a safe haven. A garden in the night, a refuge from the busy day to day life, some peace and quiet and a place to unwind. That's what your future spouse will be for you as time goes on and your relationship deepens, and what, in turn, I suspect you'll be for them.

To sum it up, your future spouse is someone who struggles to accept help from others, and to accept themselves, but they’re also someone who is kind and generous, and likely has an affinity for the arts. You might get off to a rocky start with them but in time you’ll be someone each other can lean and depend on, their vulnerability with you (and yours with them) will be an important factor in your relationship.

[kingsmakers]

Evens for Cass and Odds for Phoenix 😈

Ooh this is long so:

Phoenix Black

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Phoenix is obviously from a big family, so yeah she has both her brothers and also her cousins (almost all of which are older than her). She’s closest with Regulus, as they share very similar views. Her twin is probably a little more prejudiced than Phoenix. As a child she was often the glue between Regulus and Sirius, as she’s got a positive relationship with both of her brothers.

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Orion is a fairly distant presence emotionally. He’s an Unspeakable for the Department of Mysteries, so he works long hours and isn’t allowed to talk about his work. Although not as abusive to his kids as Walburga, he’s never intervened on their behalf. She and her father both have depression though, which is something that comes to light more later during Phoenix’s story.

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Her wand ALWAYS, probably some treats for her cat Saturn, a bunch of hair pins and hair ties just in case her hair gets too unruly.

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

There’s a lot of death in Phoenix’s nightmares, which makes sense really because of the First Wizarding War and all.

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

I think it’s similar. Phoenix has grown up privileged and she’s never wanted for anything, her family is very wealthy. I will say that as an adult, she has more of an appreciation of hard work and having to earn things. Nonetheless she does inherit a fair bit of money, so even if she didn’t work, she’d always be comfortable.

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Directly following Evan Rosier’s death. I can’t say too much without spoiling, but Phoenix did unknowingly have a hand in his and Wilkes’ ultimate fates. She also understands why Regulus wanted out, and knows she has to go to protect herself and baby Cass. So she’s terrified that Death Eaters will hunt her down and murder her.

13. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

Phoenix is completely unperturbed by blood. As she’d put it, girls see more than boys anyway.

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

I think she is despite her best efforts not to be. Much of Phoenix’s young life was dominated by the idea of status, and how flaunting your wealth was the best way to achieve that. She becomes better as an adult, especially as Remus is not very comfortable with flaunting money due to his vastly different financial upbringing.

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

I think as she’s a pure-blood it’s a bit hard to tell what toys she had, but she probably would have loved all of them.

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

I would definitely say that, when she’s younger, it’s her tendency to think too much about other people’s opinions and how things look. It definitely ruined her relationship with Remus while they were still at Hogwarts - she placed too much faith in people’s perspectives on it, and it was what led her to break up with him.

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

I think Phoenix is quite self-destructive, so I think she would often blame herself, or at least question how active a role she had in the tragedy that occurred. She’d wonder what she could do differently. However, when there’s blame to be placed on others, she would certainly put it there.

23. What does your character dislike in other people?

Phoenix is not a fan of others who go out of their way to be cruel or unkind to others for no reason. Ironic, considering she’s a Slytherin and in a very pro-Voldemort circle, but it’s part of what pushes her to want to get out.

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

Phoenix definitely turns a blind eye to those she’s closest with, it’s a big flaw of hers. However, she can be somewhat paranoid and suspicious of others, and when she’s got an idea in her head, it’s hard to convince her otherwise.

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

Phoenix isn’t a very confrontational person, but she does believe in sorting out problems rather than letting them fester. I think she would approach the conflict with the knowledge of what she wants to say, and an idea of what the outcome would be.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

As a kid, Phoenix really wanted to be an Auror. Unfortunately after her husband was killed by them, it crushed that for her. After that, she was a bit disillusioned with the Ministry, though she knew working for them would be a nice paycheck.

31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

With Remus and her kids. After the war, she just wants to settle down in a modest home with them and live a peaceful existence. Phoenix has a lot of trauma packed into the space of a few short years, so I think she’s done with eventful after all of that.

33. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Phoenix can get very defensive, and is prone to tears when she’s called out. She doesn’t handle criticism well, and it’s something she’s well aware of and is working to change.

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

Phoenix is naturally an extrovert, and that really shines around people she likes. She’s friendly, bubbly and eager to include and be included. Phoenix is the sort of person who, when she’s at her best, you’d really want to be friends with. She does have a sunny personality when she’s in a good mood.

37. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Originally it would be protecting her status, but that would definitely change later on.

39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

Lmaoooo does Remus count? ;)

41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

Phoenix at first feels she deserves to have what she wants, but it’s only as she gets older that she realises she has to work for it and earn it, and she finds it feels better to her that way.

43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

I wouldn’t say a ‘dependent’ but she does have an interesting relationship with Harry. She’s sort of that aunt figure to him, as both Sirius’s sister and Remus’s wife.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Phoenix isn’t entirely sure that what happens after she dies, but she thinks there might be some sort of afterlife, and it comforts her a little knowing she’ll be reunited with people like her twin.

Cassiopeia Rosier

2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Cass gets along quite well with her mum. Phoenix was only young when Cass was born, so she’s a fairly young mum, and they have some similar characteristics. She’s also the only biological parent of Cass’s still alive, so I think Cass relies on her a bit for information about what her dad was like.

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

I definitely think Cass witnesses a lot during the Second Wizarding War. This is a maybe, but I considered that Cass suspects something is up when Harry is led away with ‘Moody’, and stumbles upon him having changed into Crouch. However, the professors arrive before he can attack her.

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

I think Cass dreams about her dad a lot, what he’d be like, how he’d act toward her etc. She adores Remus, but she also wonders about her biological father for sure.

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Nope, she has not.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

Cass is quite body confident so I think some of the clothing she wears is a little more on the revealing side. I mean, Fred ain’t complaining.

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

I think this was during her younger half-brother, Orion Lupin’s, venture to Hogwarts. He was really stressed about where he would be sorted and what it would mean and Cass was like “lmao doesn’t matter”.

14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?

I would say faces.

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

A bit of both ideally, but if she had to choose, she would say happiness.

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Wisdom, the little goddamn Ravenclaw.

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Cass is a bit of an overachiever, so she’s likely to compare her grades and results to those of others. She sometimes feels that if she’s not the best, then what’s the point?

22. What does your character like in other people?

Genuineness, and the ability to make her laugh.

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

Not very. Cass is not a trusting person, and she keeps herself guarded.

26. How does your character behave around children?

Cass is an oldest child and her youngest brother is 14 years younger than her, so she’s pretty good with kids.

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

Cass isn’t a physically violent person, and she would only lash out if someone had done so to her first.

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Arrogance. Something she does see a lot in other Ravenclaws. Also people thinking they’re ‘above’ others. She’s a pure-blood herself but sees no need to be a supremacist about it.

32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

Being compared to Death Eater daddy in a negative way. She knows her dad did some awful things, and there’s no denying she’s like him in some ways, but she never wants to come across as cruel or malicious.

34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

She would move on to a different method. Cass is constantly changing her methods.

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Civil, but indifferent. She will make conversation if she has to, but it won’t be anything more than small talk. She’s not outright rude but she’s not going to push it.

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

I think she would remove herself from the problem or threat. She finds taking a step back gives her more space to think.

40. How does your character treat people in service jobs?

Polite. Not quite kind, but she would always at least attempt to be friendly.

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Remus maybe but he’s her stepdad so? Other than that, I think she has Molly Weasley, who utterly adores her.

44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

She finds it hard. Cass knows that she’s a product of basically an arranged marriage, so it’s not something she throws around lately. It’s a big thing for her to say.

[dragracereviews]

My Ultimate Top 10 Favorite Drag Race Queens

#10 - Kameron Michaels: NGL, Kameron is partially on this list because I would fuck her in a heartbeat. I actually plan on making a list later of queens I would sleep with in and/or out of drag and you will definitely find Miss Michaels high on there. I’ve seen her live on the Werq the World tour and I 100% regret not getting Meet and Greet though I probably would’ve just drooled on her and made a fool of myself so maybe it’s better that I didn’t. It’s a known fact that Kameron is an incredible lip syncer (if you haven’t watched season 10, please do so just to see her in action because honestly, she’s one of the few good things about that season) and she did NOT disappoint. Her dancing was only beat out by Vanjie who you may or may not see later on this list. Kameron if you’re out there reading this (LOL, we all know she isn’t) and you ever feel like experimenting with an actual biological woman, hit me up!

#9 - Sharon Needles: And here we have another attractive man out of drag! Sharon was the OG underdog and while I’m not going to sit here and bash Phi Phi O’Hara because she’s actually talented AF (checkout her Harry Potter cosplay, it’s soooo good), Sharon definitely didn’t deserve all the shade thrown at her on season 4. Her drag aesthetic has always been equals parts spooky and equal parts fabulous, but she’s actually improved over the years and it’s made me love her even more. My favorite Sharon moment ever is during a “Queens Reading Mean Comments” video on WOWPresents’ Youtube channel where someone said they liked her old teeth better and she just goes, “Well my old teeth just looked ridiculous with my new lips!” Get ‘em, girl.

#8 - Jinkx Monsoon: I want Jinkx to be my mom. There, I said it. Also, if you don’t get that reference, get your shit together and subscribe to WOW Presents on Youtube you fucking bumpkin. Jinkx was the loveable weirdo on her season and received a lot of hate from her fellow queens but I loved her from the start. I have since forgiven Roxxxy Andrews for her cattiness because of her rudemption on All Stars 2 (insert her Read U Wrote U verse here) but nothing was more satisfying than watching Jinkx go from the underdog to America’s Next Drag Superstar. I don’t know what’s more iconic; her tendency to fall asleep at inopportune times, her laugh, or all the jokes about her being a full blown swamp witch. Either way, it will always be Monsoon season in my eyes.

#7 - Nina West: Hands down, the DEFINITION of Miss Congeniality! This choice was so obvious, I don’t even know why they took a vote. I think that even if they left it up to the fans, it would’ve been her. I fucking LOVE Nina. I’ve actually met her IRL and my first thoughts were 1: she’s HUGE (hello, she’s a six foot tall man in like 6 inch heels and I’m barely over five feet) and 2. she just radiates happiness! She is the only queen I’ve met that asked me my name (though shout out to Plastique Tiara for calling me gorgeous as if she’s not the most beautiful creature on the planet) and she didn’t make me feel like an idiot when I just stared at her adoringly and just word vomited “you’remyfavoriteiloveyousomuch”. Class act people!

#6 - Bianca del Rio: Do I even need an explanation for this one? Hands down, the undisputed winner of season 6, and that’s coming from a die-hard ***** fan (see entry #2). Did she wear the same silhouette 10+ times? Yes. Can she kind of be a bitch sometimes? Definitely. But is she the funniest fucking person alive? Probably! My love for Bianca is infinite but I still wouldn’t want her to read me, at least not in person. Actually, scratch that, I’ve seen her Twitter feed and getting read online is almost worse. I fucking love Hurricane Bianca and the sequel even though it’s one of those so-bad-it’s-good type of film series. I sadly missed her last tour because it was the same night as Sasha Velour’s Smoke & Mirrors show and as amazing as Sasha was, my heart was broken that I couldn’t go to both. But you better believe the next time she’s in town, I’m forking out lots of $$ for VIP and I may or may not faint at Bianca’s feet #noregrets

#5 - Vanessa Vanjie Matteo: Mother. Fucking. Vanjie. OKAY, I’ve met this bitch IRL and let me tell you, she is the cutest fucking thing. Like Nina, it shocked me how apparent it is that she’s a man (square jaw, hello?) but she can still paint for filth and look fishy AF even with her boyish features. Also, AMAZING performer! I waited 3 hours after the M&G for her to actually come on stage and perform only two songs (that’s a story for another day) but let me tell you, it was worth the fucking wait. I showered that bitch with Canadian monopoly money and I would’ve given her more if I wasn’t such a broke millennial. And to top the whole night off, I got woken up at 5 am to my friend screaming because Vanjie had reposted my photo in her story so I was essentially Instagram famous for all of like, a day. Thanks girl xo

#4 - Bendelacreme: I love me some Dela. This queen proved in both her regular season and All Stars that she is a force to be reckoned with. Season 6 wouldn’t have been the same without her and did I want to yell at Darienne Lake for being a bitch to her? Absolutely! (Gia Gunn pun intended) And I honestly think that if she hadn’t eliminated herself, she would’ve won AS3 (though if you read my #1 entry, I am 100% satisfied with who did win). She completely deserved her Miss Congeniality title, and while I see where the others AS3 queens were coming from when they suspected she was trying a little too hard to keep up that image, I did appreciate her trying to play the game with some class, because we don’t see that often on Drag Race. I also love her friendship with Jinkx and it’s definitely on my bucket list to see one of their shows one day. You know what they say, the Creme always rises to the top!

#3 - Brooke Lynn Hytes: Full disclosure, I’m Canadian but that’s not the only reason why I love Brooke (she is the Queen in the North though, and I’ll fight you if you say otherwise). This queen is fucking TALENTED! Season 11 would have failed without her, IMHO. She can design and sow a complete outfit, read people to filth, sort of sing (I still listen to Queens Everywhere daily, especially her verse), dance circles around ANYBODY, and lip sync like her mother fucking life depends on it. Did she, by the end of the season, forget that’s there’s more to a lip sync than being on pointe? Yes, absolutely. But that doesn’t change the fact that she is literal perfection and I think that’s why Ru gave Yvie the crown instead of her (though I love Yvie so don’t come for me). Brooke’s biggest downfall was the fact that she wasn’t relatable and I am 100% okay with that. Sometimes you just have to worship the unattainable. The only issue I have with Brooke is her and Vanjie not being officially together anymore because yes, I am one of those fans that ship queens together, especially queens that have actually dated. I will never get over #Branjie, just saying.

#2 - Adore Delano: "I'm a fucking Libra!" As soon as these words left her mouth, I knew I was in love with Adore Delano. Season 6 is by far my favorite season (spoiler alert if I decide to make a Top 10 Best Seasons list) and if it weren't for my #1 pick, she would 100% have the top spot. Hell, before I discovered WOW Presents, she WAS my #1 pick (read my next entry to understand what I mean). Adore is simultaneously adorable (pun intended) and fierce AF. She's beautiful, hilarious, and did I mention beautiful?! She is the reason I say "party" at inappropriate times. She is the reason I wish I was a Libra instead of a fucking Scorpio. She is the reason I insist everybody start their first Drag Race binge with season 6 because I know they’ll fall in love with her as much as I have. Adore, if you’re reading this, I fucking adore you.

#1 - Trixie Mattel & Katya Zamolodchikova: Of course these two are tied as my number one spot. Individually, these queens are fucking fierce and extremely talented (go download Trixie's country albums if you don't believe me), but together they are pure gold. If you've only ever watched their run on season 7, you probably don't understand why I love them so much, so do yourself a favor and go watch All Stars 2 & 3, as well as their web shows "UnHhhh", "The Trixie & Katya Show", and “Queens Who Like To Watch”. I can even give you a list of other stand alone videos of them to watch (ex. "Besties for Cash", "Fashion Photo Review", compilation videos of the pair in Palm Springs... I think you get the gist). Truth be told, I'm absolutely obsessed with these two, so much so that I may or may not have indulged in some online fan fiction about them from time to time...don’t judge me, okay?! I love a friends-turned-lovers love story, and I know I’m not the only one wishing #Trixya would happen IRL. I've also shelled out so much money to Trixie alone on her merch and makeup, and I'm waiting very impatiently for them to go on tour together so I can go full Futurama and just scream "take my money" as I buy the most VIP package they have. Trixie and Katya are the ultimate definition of All Stars and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise.

[tessatechaitea]

Darkstars #5

What happens when two guys clash, each thinking they're the ultimate authority for good and each believes violence is the best solution to a problem? We'll find out this issue!

I didn't know hawks were angry assholes but I'm assuming Hawkman is the personification of a hawk's personality so it must be true. I also didn't know spiders were mild-mannered. Or guys were misogynist, short-tempered jerk-offs (you know, like Guy Gardner). I've learned a lot from comic books! I just looked over the cover again and I think it might be on my Top Ten Sexiest Comic Book Covers of All Time. Mostly it's due to the way it looks like Detective Crumbstache and Hawkman look like they're furiously trying to jerk each other off and the way Hawkwoman double grips that crossbow the way she'd not have to double grip my cock.

How come I never read Modesty Blaise? It was about two whole things, one of which I really enjoy!

The cover of this issue just got even sexier if you consider the inside advert as part of the cover which I do because look at the way Modesty is sucking off that gun. I bet I was planning on buying Modesty Blaise but then I jerked off over this advert, fell immediately asleep on top of the comic, and woke up later having forgotten all about it. It's the exact same reason I never read Warlord. Now I want to make this advert into a sign to protest the police. It should really confuse them! This issue is called "Slaves and Other Prisoners." If one of the "R"s in "prisoners" was a "B", it would be an anagram for pissboner. A better writer probably would have written about the problematic casual use of the word slaves in the American vernacular. "Vernacular" is an anagram for "anal curver." A couple of aliens have arrived in Earth's orbit to pick up Evil Star and his Starlings and transport them to Galactic Prison. They treat Evil Star like shit and Darkstar is all, "Whoa, my dudes! Chill out, man! Don't make me have to raise my voice! We're all cool here. No need for negative vibes!" Man, I really misjudged Darkstar Colos when I began reading this comic book. He's actually a decent cop. But then again, his story is the exact story of any cop that tries to be decent in a corrupt system that fetishizes violence, power, and respect. He's been shoved off to a backwater planet that's so far out of the Controller's sphere of influence that they've already questioned the leader of the Darkstars as to the need for space cops so far afield. Colos was trouble and he was acting better than the other cops so he got sent off to where he can't cause any problems. Weird to think that the phrase "can't cause any problems" in police lingo actually means "improves the system and works toward justice and accountability." Detective Chicago-head gets put on the Carla White kidnapping case. The cops don't actually know she's been kidnapped but they suspect Pappas, the Loco kingpin, took her against her will. But Detective Two-Sausages-One-Bun pretends he's been on a drinking jag and isn't in his right mind to lead a raid on Pappas's warehouse. That's because he wants to raid the place himself in his Darkstars Sidekick outfit. Once again, he's proving that he's a terrible cop (aka a status quo, regular, run-of-the-mill police). Detective Two-Sizes-Too-Big-Head had better hurry with the rescue mission because Carla White is currently being sold into the space sex slave trade. I was going to make a joke earlier about her being sold into the alien sex slave trade but then I thought better of it, realizing that just putting "space" in front of "sex slave trade" didn't rise to an appropriate level of satire that would justify making light of sex slavery. I did add the word "space" to sex slave trade at the beginning of this paragraph but it wasn't for a joke; it was just stating the facts of this comic book. Look, we all read the title! We all knew where this story was headed but I wasn't brave enough to broach the subject earlier. I just said that stupid thing about an nearly correct anagram and moved on. Oh, by the way, when Carla White hears she's going to be sold into sex slavery, she's all, "I'm not going to be the property of some Middle East sheikh!" Seems a little racist to me. I bet she felt dumb (and racist) when she found out she was being sold to aliens and not Arabs.

Is this why conservatives don't have any morals or ethics? Because they think if they acted on those things, they'd get sold into the space sex slave trade?

Since I've added "space" to the phrase "sex slave trade," I can probably call it hyperbole and satire when I write something like, "Boy! I sure wish all conservatives would get sold into the space sex slave trade!"

Actually, yes, Detective Mustached-Rumproast, that's exactly what you were supposed to do.

It's not the cop's job to become judge and jury because they don't trust the judge and jury will do their job. If that's why cops kill people then I think it means citizens are allowed to kill cops if we don't believe they'll do their job? Am I using logic correctly? I'm just a stupid libturd so I wouldn't know logic if it constantly @ed me on Twitter demanding that I debate it. Flint (that's the name of Detective Sausage-fingers. I learned his name because I've run out of different types of meat to compare his fat head to) breaks into Pappas's space sex slave trade warehouse where the ship is nearly fully loaded with slaves for space sex. But instead of battling the space sex slave traders and saving the day, he starts a fight with Hawkman and Hawkwoman. Where rock has this guy's pink, salty ham-head been stuck under his entire life? He doesn't recognize the good heroes of the DC Universe?! I wonder if Stan Lee had ever considered a law suit against every comic book that had two different heroes mistakenly battle each other before they realized their error and teamed up? It's so recognizably a Marvel idea that I would have awarded Stan Lee all the money. Unless the idea is actually from The Bible? I mean Cain and Abel almost pulled that trick except Abel just wound up being too much of a loser to survive to the team up part. During the confusion of the violent good guys fighting the other violent good guys, the rocket with the space sex slaves takes off. Hopefully Hawkman and Detective Flint will learn a lesson from this incident. Maybe suss out the situation before beating everybody you see to a bloody pulp. Darkstars #5 Rating: B. The Hawklovers were only in this issue for a couple of pages which is fine by me but probably not ideal for all the Hawklover fans who purchased this book because they were on the cover. I'm sure the next issue will feature more Hawklover action. I'm also sort of hoping that Carla White has now been launched into space and won't be rescued. She'll just turn up in a spin-off series called Space Sex Slave Traders. Obviously that never happened but now that I put the idea out there, maybe it did happen in another, better, sexier timeline.

[eisforeidolon]

Episode: Atomic Monsters

I watched this at least a week ago, but just didn't get around to rewriting my notes into a post 'til now.  I did actually find this the best episode so far, but lets be real, that's such a low bar to clear at this point it says basically nothing.

The opening sequence is really fun!  I found the whole thing genuinely enjoyable, both the action itself and that it included exactly the kind of return cameo I can actually get behind.  No retcons or resurrections that make death somehow even cheaper or ruin the original finish to the character's story!  Not even to mention that, instead of existing just for the sheer fanservice of it?  A sequence like this is actively improved by giving us a familiar face we have investment in to keep it from being all just random unfamiliar cannon fodder getting offed.

Unfortunately, this isn't the rousing endorsement it could be when we know that both expanding to a big action sequence and bringing Benny back for it were actually Jensen's ideas.  Not even to mention that the thing which really works best in the episode?  It's the dream sequence that's not actually connected to anything else and doesn't have to worry about continuity to work. This is my surprised face.

I enjoyed the exchange between Sam and Dean in the kitchen.  The meat man conversation over the bacon was rather silly, but in a fun way. I've seen some people reading things into it (it's insulting Dean doesn't know the slang, Sam is randomly vegetarian now) that I didn't really see there.  I did appreciate how Sam was weirdly jumpy and had trouble meeting Dean's eyes after the creepy alternate world dream.  I thought it worked really well for both slice-of-life and Sam’s reaction.

In terms of the Winchester's case, well, for the most part it could have been worse.  I don't honestly believe even if I hadn't been spoiled that I wouldn't have immediately suspected the parents from their introductory exchange about how Billy playing in the big game was more important than a cheerleader's death.  I think it was supposed to be a retroactive subtle clue, but it was more of a clue-by-four.  So the “mystery” of tracking down the monster was pretty lost on me.  I did like that the one girl having braces was a clue!  But I also thought the scene with her rehearsing her speech on a live mic in an empty auditorium was weird and contrived.  I straight out cannot forgive that a girl was literally abducted from the school campus and NOBODY checked the security footage near her car fucking IMMEDIATELY well before Sam & Dean.  C'mon.  Then, of course, a couple random middle-aged suburbanite humans get the drop on Sam and Dean, because Dabbernatural really just loves to make them incompetent so plots happen.

Then the big reveal and blah blah blah, kid accidentally ate his girlfriend.  WHAT WERE WE SUPPOSED TO DO???  Um, maybe try not being scumbags?  Idiotic scumbags at that, abducting a second girl from their son's own school instead of somebody that wouldn't be missed or even, hey, maybe encouraging him to try harder not to eat people.  Don't try to sell me on this pseudo hallmark 'but they just love him so much' bullshit.  At least the kid has more self-awareness and conscience than his fuckwad parents.  

Then we get to the infuriating character assassination part of the programme.  Having Sam and Dean say that they'd do the same thing as the dad for Jack their “son”?  Fuck you very much, show.  I could maybe, maybe, see Sam or Dean kidnapping and draining the life out of an innocent to save the other at their most desperate worst.  Though I think the only time they even really get close to that kind of an actively, knowingly evil choice is with Doc Benton.  Not only do I not buy for a second that they would do that for the totally-really-their-actual-child-for-reasons albatross Dabbernatural has shoehorned into their lives?  Struggling to do the right thing even when it hurts used to actually mean something – it was always a very important qualifier that while Sam or Dean might make that choice, the other would not let them.  So having them both agree this kind of straight up villainy would be a-okay for oh-so-totally-loveable-no-really-woobie-blob Jack ...

Like carelessly assassinating every human in the BMoL headquarters, it fundamentally fails to understand what it is that keeps Sam and Dean from being the monsters.  Hint: it's not just that the show centers around them.  “We do the ugly thing so that people can live happy” - these moronic hacks seem to be actually trying to parallel Sam and Dean saving innocent victims and the world to human monsters that were going to selfishly help their son eat his way through the entire goddamn cheerleading squad.  Am I getting this wrong somehow?  Is there some other, less appalling, reading here that I'm missing? This whole scene honestly made me nauseous.

They talkity-talk on for a while longer, but it's really not much better.  Sam declaring that God was totally done with them was the writers putting those words in his mouth based on nothing.  At it’s very best, it was Sam’s bad habit of convincing himself conclusions he’s come to are true because he wants them to be.  So them both just deciding to believe it's true after Chuck has admitted to orchestrating their entire lives … I'm not sure if we should conclude the Winchesters have brain damage or if that's just the writers.  Especially when the underlying reason for it is nothing more compelling than , “Watch the Winchesters see-saw on the angst fulcrum completely at random!  Yay!”  If this was actually well written, there would be some precipitating reason for Sam to suddenly be the one being all fatalistic while Dean is accepting.  Instead, the writers  just slap some coin-flipped angst angst angst on the page and meander on in a supposedly forward direction.

So then there's the other half of the episode, the Becky storyline. Am I the only one a little disturbed that Becky's first reaction to seeing Chuck was to look scared and try to run away?  Like, they're exes and all, sure, but she doesn't know any of the god stuff yet – I think the only thing she even says about their breakup is that Chuck dumped her.  Is that reaction supposed to be yet another bit of “new canon” showing how Chuck was just that terrible all along? But then she does let him in, so maybe we're just supposed to take it as Becky still having a tendency towards dramatics?  I honestly don't know, but it was weird to me.  

I do genuinely love that they had Becky go to therapy and realize just how absolutely fucked up what she'd done was and ultimately sort herself out to become someone who seems to be a well-balanced adult. A well balanced adult that didn't have to give up being a fan for that!  Seriously, kudos to the writers for this, because 7.08 is such a loathsome episode that otherwise ruins Becky as a character.   Though I do have to nitpick a bit – while I get that they wanted to put SPN merch in Becky's home as a callout to her still being a superfan?   In the show's universe, Chuck's books were never that popular, so I'm having some suspension of disbelief issues that there would be Funkos for them.  We could pretend they were customs, but she's got at least one Impala, so even that doesn't quite work.  I'm not entirely sure who “people only want them sitting around doing laundry anyway” is a dig at, but I'm giving it the side eye.  

I also am not entirely sure what to make of Chuck's whole no one needs me I kinda hate me I'm all lost and don't know what to doooooo shtick.  Is this a game he's playing?  Is he really that wishy-washy? Did some of Dabb's sad internal monologue as showrunner somehow end up in a script by accident?  

He goes on like that and laments he's lost the Winchester's trust and had words with them or whatever, and then he zaps Becky and her family away at the end.  Like, if he cared enough about Becky to care about her opinion, why does he turn on her, too, just like that?  I guess we're supposed to see it as him having found his mojo in her space and vanishing her because taking over her space that's working for him currently is his latest whim.  I suppose they're intending to show Chuck as just being that capricious and flighty, but I don't know that it works for me.  The way they've been writing him he's acting so randomly and impulsively that it's kind of unbelievable he can even sit still at a keyboard long enough to write another Sam and Dean installment.  Again, I definitely find it unbelievable that the Chuck they're giving us now would be capable of playing the long game that he would have had to for him to be actively behind everything.  Until he suddenly got impatient and lazy and popped up in the cemetery at the end of the last finale ... for reasons … and is now just … like that … because.

Not to mention that his powers are, big shock, just as arbitrary as everyone else's in the current show.  He can't actually see what is happening to Sam and Dean because of the bullet sapping his power or whatever, but we're supposed to be worried about the ominous ending he's writing for them because … he's got those god powers to make it happen, I guess?  Uh...

I will grant that the ominous bobbing of Sam and Dean Funkos' heads to Chuck's furious typing was a wonderfully foreboding shot to end on.  

[real-jaune-isms]

RWBY Volume 7 Chapter 7 Rundown

This episode was not as stressful and tense as the last... it was just kinda depressing. But I felt better at the end of the chapter than I did at the beginning, which is a good thing.

Much like how last episode started with the aftermath of the rioting over SDC layoffs, this begins with the Grimm attack following Jacques’ election and Tyrian’s killing spree being pretty much over. I had expected it to be a much bigger deal, honestly. But shows what I know. The worst Mantle has ever seen is yet to come.

It starts with somber music on a somber scene: Penny sitting sadly and in deep self doubt back in her father’s Altas lab as she gets a small sign of reassurance and comfort, that being a mechanized arm probably used mostly for maintenance patting her on the head. Other than that, she’s all alone and she definitely feels it.

Ironwood is now in full paranoia mode and has enforced a curfew for everyone in Mantle. No one is allowed to be out at night without good reason, and no one may gather in assembly for any reason. It’s incredibly restricting, but it’s all he can think to do to keep people from grouping up in any place they might get attacked again. At least, that’s the only logic I could think to gather from it. As airships patrol overhead, we see that the thirsty mom who gave Jaune the casserole two episodes ago is still alive with her child, though still very much afraid. Unfortunately... they were some of the lucky ones. We see two of the little kids Jaune helped cross the street hiding from Atlas soldiers behind a dumpster. I can only assume it was their mothers who were slain by Tyrian, and now they may go hungry on the streets or maybe don’t know how to get home. It’s incredibly depressing and upsetting... 

Two people walking the streets are chased by soldiers just for being out late, and a newscast says that despite a public statement about the killer footage of Penny being faked people still think she’s a danger to society and should be shut down. With the rush of a truck in front of our view, we cut to a thrilling scene that lifts our spirits a little. As a supply van, the same sort we saw Ruby, Marrow, Qrow and Penny riding in a few episodes back, drives through the city we see some figures giving chase from the roofs. Familiar figures. Then another welcome face stands in from of the truck and makes it stop. It’s the new FNDM favorite, May Marigold!!! When the robot drivers tell her to step aside, that gets the attention of patrolling soldiers down the block. When they round the corner... there’s nothing there. Not even the truck! Turns out it was May whose Semblance was keeping her and Joanna invisible when they approached the other truck in their first appearance. And even more good news, dear Fiona has made a full recovery! And it turns out her Semblance is really amazing. She just places a hand on the van and the entire thing dissolves into dust as if being sucked into her palm. How exactly it works we don’t know, but it reminds me of Blackbeard from One Piece and his ability to create black holes to absorb anything he touches and save it for later. In this instance it’s a very useful way to take all the contents of the truck without taking up much room. 

Unfortunately it’s also really bad news for Ironwood because now Robyn is officially breaking the law and adding even more trouble to the situation of Penny being framed for a massacre and Jacques getting a position of governmental power. And Winter prompts even worse news out of him. Because of Robyn’s new habit of hitting up supply trucks to redistribute the materials to where the city most needs them, the Mantle suppliers have gotten bold are refusing to supply until conditions improve. So there will be no more deliveries to the Amity Project, no more progress. It’s been stalled completely, so close to the finish line. Nobody likes that. The only solution Winter offers is an even worse prospect though: declaring martial law to make every business obey military demands. And much to Nora’s quite vocal dismay, Ironwood is willing to take that path. He sees the big picture first and foremost and it’s blinded him to how important it is to address how awful the problems are here and now. Global communication? Or keeping their equivalent of a ghetto in good enough shape that the people can sleep safely at night and stop complaining to him? He said before he doesn’t care about his public image being ruined, but if this is what it means to ignore the defamation and bad press then maybe he should?

Nora is having NONE of his bullshit. He’s trivializing the lives and safety of hundreds of people. Saying they have to wait a little longer for things to start getting better is easy to say from the tallest and safest building, in the richest Kingdom ON THE ENTIRE PLANET!!! He doesn’t have to hide in the dark wet streets unsure of where the next safe place to sleep or thing to eat will come from, not knowing if he will be found and eaten by Grimm or arrested by the military just because he wasn’t where they want him to be. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be the little guy. Nora, we can mostly certainly have guessed by the condition she was in when she met Ren, has. Ironwood claims everyone has had to struggle in these recent times, but he refuses to admit he’s making Mantle bear all of the burden because that’s the easiest path for him with the least direct resistance. Ignoring their pain and keeping on with this game of patience is only making it worse on them, and sending more men to bully and order around more people will only create despair and strife, and they all know damn well that will just be trading the current problems for more Grimm than even they can handle. It’s a staredown, and ultimately Ironwood backs down and takes a seat to contemplate. Ruby is on Nora’s side, this treatment of Mantle isn’t right and is only going to make ripping the peace apart easier for Salem. This is exactly what Tyrian is here to cause.

Which brings up an interesting moment. Clover says the only reason Ren, Nora and Ruby are here is to confirm without a doubt that they saw who they say they did. He pulls up a visual of what’s essentially Tyrian’s rap sheet, and Winter explains that he was one of the worst killers Anima had ever seen who disappeared after he was caught and then let free by a Grimm attack on his prison transport. The info page itself tells a pretty eerie story of his past. The arrest was aided by a huntsman with the last name Pickerel, who insisted there should be more guards for the transport to the point he had to be removed from the mission for obstructing the process. A pickerel is a type of poisonous frog, and Tyrian’s inspiration is said to be the fable of the scorpion who asks a frog to carry him across a river on his back. The frog doesn’t want to for fear he will be stung, but the scorpion assures him he would not because it would only lead to him drowning as well. Yet the scorpion stings the frog anyway, for it is just in his nature to do so, he can’t help it. Poetic, especially since after Tyrian’s escape Pickerel is found dead in his home. Despite Grimm activity in the area of the transport route being minimal shortly before, a distress call came from the pilot that a swarm of Grimm came for the ship as Tyrian was in transit. Despite the ship being split in two within 6 minutes and some people whose names seem to be redacted from the record presumably dying, that same pilot named Cornetto continued to talk over the transmission. And a lot of that was just “What are you?!?!” before he too was killed. The last thing anyone heard from the scene was Tyrian himself seeing his unholy savior Salem for the first time and weeping at her beauty. Quite telling of why he worships her so much.

Ruby and Qrow agree that this is proof he’s here as Salem’s agent to start chaos before a major attack; Atlas is definitely her next target. Unfortunately, Ruby’s hopes that the public can be warned about this dangerous suspect and know who to watch out for instead of Penny are dashed by Clover. No one is gonna like the news that a long lost serial killer is in their streets, it’ll only make things worse so this has to be secret too. Nora? Well she hates that too, she hates ALL the secrets Ironwood is making them keep. Cooperation and appeasing tensions would be so much easier if they could tell people who the enemy is, what Atlas is actually doing to help. But that makes the General the Big Angry. Any info getting out is a disaster in the making. Telling people about the Amity satellite means more opportunity for the enemy to sabotage it, and telling people about Salem means people are going to freak the fuck out sooner than the good guys will be ready for. So secret it must stay and complete the tower must be, though hindsight is kicking us all in the ass because a few words said way sooner would have gone a long way to making the situation better. For now, the General implements a strategy the likes of which haven’t been seen since Kyle Rayner in Infinite Crisis! Arrest Robyn Hill and make her cut a deal so the supplies can start running and the tower can be finished. As you would expect, Nora and Ruby don’t like that plan. But Daddy Ironwood don’t care, he’s on a roll here. Priority #1 is Robyn and anyone not on that case needs to find Tyrian and his accomplice to figure out what their plan is and how they’ve gotten this far. And in full totalitarian leader mode he calls Mantle/Atlas HIS Kingdom. Winter and Clover are of course obediently agreeing, but surprisingly so is Ren.  But it’s not hard to understand why. His village was destroyed by a Grimm that there was a possibility might have been defeated if there was a Huntsman or two there, so of course he has respect for the established power he wishes could have been there in his time of need. Inversely, Nora has very likely been a street urchin in the big cities and seen how poorly they treat the common man so she holds a grudge and wants them to make changes for the better. It’s fascinating character juxtaposition that may very well drive another wedge between them...

But that’s a problem for another time. Now we have the Bees in the back of a truck for one of my favorite scenes this episode, nay this Volume. They’re part of the effort to bring in Robyn, being in a decoy truck while most of the Ace Ops are implied to be in other trucks so they can cast a wide net and no matter which one Robyn decides to ambush she will be met only with opposition. Once a truck gets stopped the others will be alerted and come running as backup, but until then it’s radio silence. And in that quiet comes some time to talk. After all this escalation of force Yang wants to know if Blake thinks they should have told Ironwood the whole truth about Salem and Oz earlier on. Blake can tell that’s what Yang thinks should have happened, and the blonde clarifies that even if she does have faith in her sister she still believes the General deserves to know just like they deserved to. Blake has reason to disagree, since Ironwood’s behavior even without that knowledge shows a paranoia and habit of overreaction that could have been exacerbated by such catastrophic news. He didn’t have many good options to work with, to be fair, but those are in short supply for all of them these days anyway. And these two have had to make more of those choices than most recently, not just the secrets but also killing. Yes, after 7 episodes it’s time for these two to actually talk about killing Adam. Because you don’t just do that without repercussions, without feeling some guilt and remorse. But Yang says it plainly: that was the only option they had in that moment. It was what they had to do. They can feel remorse and guilt about killing, but it was in self defense against an evil person who intended to murder them. Still makes the both of them wonder how far down this path they’ll have to go to keep doing “the right thing”. And one thing is for certain, even if it was what they had to do in that moment Blake wants to make sure they never find themselves in a place where they have to again. 

My mind wanders back to the Adam character short between Volumes 5 and 6. When Blake voiced her concerns and apprehension about what they were doing to Adam and said she wanted to stop hurting people, he chastised and belittled her for not having the strength to do what he insisted they had to. He gaslit her into thinking she was weak and cowardly, that she was an insult to the White Fang like her parents and her way of thinking was invalid. He wanted her to be unwaveringly obedient to him and not think for herself. In stark contrast, when Blake says she doesn’t feel right ambushing a Huntress trying to do good for Mantle... Yang agrees. She admits that’s a valid way to feel and that they don’t have to go through with what they were told if it’s going to make Blake uncomfortable. It’s differences like this, not explicitly stated but evident if you’ve been paying attention all this time, that show how much better a partner Yang is for Blake, romantic or otherwise.

The scene shifts once again to Pietro’s lab where Penny seems to be in a charging stand of some kind while they analyze her personal footage to prove she didn’t kill anyone at the party. Ruby and Weiss are there with them, as is Maria!! Our chaos grandma makes her return after 6 episodes of absence!! Ruby wants to make sure Penny is gonna be okay after how traumatizing being framed must have been, and Pietro assures that she likely will, she’s just scared about how wrong things have gone and how she’s hated and feared now. They can prove her innocence, surely, but they can’t just take away the fear and doubt that are in people’s hearts now. In that sense, Watts has won so far. And that upsets Pietro a lot, since Robyn would be dead if Penny hadn’t been there to try and help. But Ruby sees the truth here, Robyn was never in any real danger. Salem just wanted people to think she was and that Penny was to blame so further division and distrust could be sewn in Atlas and Mistral. Penny stepping in was exactly what they wanted, just as many others had been in Vale two years ago (their time, as best as I can guess). Pietro points out that the similarities don’t run there, since Atlas tech is once again working to the enemy’s advantage since the footage everyone is in a tizzy over uses imagery from all the hero work she did in Mantle so it would take a tech genius with a watchful eye to gather what they would need for this deep fake.

Maria gives a point of levity we were all subconsciously thinking and says she misses the days when people just fought to the death face to face. Thank you for that. Pietro admits the Mantle security system is chump change for the kind of hacker they saw the work of at the Fall of Beacon, but Atlas got the better network protection. And a million IRL I.T. people screamed in frustration that they left the ghetto city with outdated security that could undeniably and inevitably lead to their downfall. Weiss asks the important question, how WOULD someone get access to the Atlas Network? Fortunately, only few people have that clearance: Ironwood and other Council members, the leads of surveilance and cybersecurity, and the overseers of critical city systems like sewage and the heating grid. And there’s where the ball drops: Weiss reveals the heating grid is run in partnership with the Schnee Dust Company. Suddenly everything Watts has been doing becomes much more clear. He wouldn’t have helped Jacques win the election for free, so clearly he asked the SchneeEO for access to the heating grid in exchange, and now that’s his in to mess with the security of Atlas as a whole. And we see what he does with that next episode...

But for now, the heroes don’t know as much as us so for now they’re just a little suspicious. Ruby already knows about Penny so now she asks how Pietro himself is doing, and he admits the stress of both building the tower and worrying about people wanting to hurt Penny would have broken him down if Maria hadn’t been helping him. But we see there are still cracks in his composure as he starts tearing up just looking at her. My heartstrings are tugged every time I see the emotion on this poor man’s face. Ruby tries to reassure him that even if the worst does happen to Penny he can always rebuild her like he did after Beacon... but she doesn’t know the whole story. Penny is one of a kind for a very good reason. And so we get her backstory.

Ironwood initially challenged a team of Atlas’s best and brightest to come up with the next breakthrough in defensive technology, and Pietro was the most creative and introspective with his idea. A protector with all the might of Atlesian innovation, but the indomitable soul of a human. Apparently very few thought the same way he did, but the General believed in the project and so it was chosen. It’s likely that many of the other scientists who had pitched their concepts were transferred to help make Penny whether they believed it could work or not. From the photograph Pietro is holding as he recounts this tale, that includes a certain disgraced Atlesian with a fabulous mustache. We now have a plausible motive for his betrayal and defecting to Salem’s side. Considering his skills being computer hacking and enough cybernetic knowhow to build Tyrian’s tail, he may have had a plan for something akin to Skynet or Dr. Gero’s Androids but his idea got tossed aside for something he felt was ridiculous and beneath him. It does still give him enough experience with the development to know how to hack Penny however, and that does concern me a good deal. What worries me even more is what we learn about how exactly Pietro got the Penny Project to succeed. Everyone thinks he managed to create an artificial Aura for her, but that’s not really accurate... He actually gave her a portion of his own, leaving himself that much weaker. He’s had to do this both times he built her, and he doesn’t have enough life left in him to survive a third time. People complained there were no stakes or risk with Penny if she could be so easily rebuilt without consequence, but that all goes right out the window here. If she gets destroyed again, it will either be permanent or mean Pietro will die for her. Because look at that man. You know he would do it. And we really don’t want him to... As Ruby promises they will find the one responsible for all this trouble we get the “dramatic reveal” that Pietro’s thumb had been covering Watts’ face in the photo... but we had guessed it already.

Scene shift again right back to the streets of Mantle as the Happy Huntresses are striking again at another truck, which as luck would have it is the one with Blake and Yang. Robyn opens the back doors to see the Bees raising their hands in surrender, but she panics and runs anyway, telling the rest of her squad to scatter and regroup back at base. The girls chase Robyn into an alley where there is a very cool shot I can best describe as panning up from the pavement to dolly zoom in on Robyn as she checks over her shoulder. Blake tries to trip her up and then has to dodge bolts from the crossbow on the older woman’s wrist, all the while trying to explain that they just want to talk. But Robyn doesn’t stop to listen, she just slashes with her weapon’s razor sharp sawblade of feathers. Very versatile and transforming weapon there, Miss Hill. Blake uses a fire powered shadow clone to dodge, and Yang strikes from above and tries shooting at Robyn as well. But the feathers make a good shield too, as she further demonstrates when both huntresses start attacking up close and she fends them off pretty well. It takes the Bumblebee technique (yes, I’m sticking to the name, it works well and it’s canon) to send Robyn flying back a bit into a more open area with a kick from the airborne Blake. Robyn tries to intimidate the pair by saying they won’t be enough to take her in to Ironwood, and they openly admit they aren’t the only ones looking for her and their backup will be on their way since the truck got stopped. So they need to talk NOW, because she needs to hear this. She thinks it’s just a stalling tactic, but Blake presses on and reveals the plans for the satellite and the Tower... and Robyn is in disbelief. Yang tries to explain what that would mean, but that’s not what Robyn is so hung up on. So we get another reveal that’s been hinted at for an episode or two, her Semblance. Blake is told to take her hand and answer the question again. And with a green glow of the Aura flowing between them, we see Robyn is a human lie detector. The confirmation of the Tower being Ironwood’s secret project only confuses Robyn more, because surely he could just tell people that’s the plan and there would be no argument it should be done. Blake tells her the people framing Atlas for all the wrongdoing could cause a lot more harm if they knew the Tower was being worked on, but they won’t tell Robyn who those people are yet. She almost calls bullshit on that, but we can’t have swears in this show so Harriet radios Yang to check on her and Blake and Yang cuts the conversation short and says Robyn needs to trust them that the Amity project must stay secret since they trusted her enough to tell her this info. Blake runs off to distract the nearby soldiers long enough for Robyn to get away while Yang lingers to make sure she agrees to their terms. Reluctantly the politician turned vigilante does, but she says she’s still determined to learn the full truth. That strikes a deep chord with Yang since she had that same drive to seek answers from Raven for so long... and now she’s keeping the secret that Raven is the Spring Maiden.

For our final scene we shift to a First Civilization vault from Assassin’s Creed... I mean the Atlas Vault for the Relic of Creation!! Sorry, they look very similar. Ironwood is down there with Oscar explaining that he had hoped seeing this place would jog some of Ozpin’s memories within the lad. Plot twist, the Staff is what’s keeping Atlas floating in the sky, an idea originally pitched by Ozpin. The public story is that it’s Gravity Dust doing that job, but the Staff is a constant seemingly limitless energy source that could in theory lift Atlas higher than they could imagine. And that’s where Ironwood got the idea for doing that to Amity. But they have to use Gravity Dust for that, since the Staff can only do one job at a time. And the sky grows much darker from that sudden foreshadowing... Someone is definitely going to move the Staff or use it for some other purpose, and Atlas is going to fall... Oscar gets a surreal feeling from seeing something so complex that his past incarnation built, but Ironwood assures him that he will soon acclimate to the assimilation... real smooth there Jimmy. Ironwood admits he wishes he could get Ozpin’s advice in a time like this, and since he can’t give that Oscar offers his own opinion. The way Ironwood is handling this, trusting only himself, is only going to hurt him. The General asserts that nothing matters more right now than beating Salem, but Oscar has a counterpoint. Keeping their humanity matters, because it keeps them from becoming like Salem. Ironwood worries that’s Salem’s advantage though, lacking humanity means she’s willing to sacrifice more to achieve her goals and that may end up winning her the war. She may not feel fear or hesitation anymore, while her attack on Beacon brought both those debilitating emotions out of Ironwood as he helplessly watched his robots hurt people and was taunted by her calling card of the Black Queen virus being on all the computer screens. As the elevator comes to bring them up out of the vault, Oscar encourages the General that fear is normal but they shouldn’t let it control them. Ironwood doesn’t want to become like Lionheart, and wants to know if Oscar believes in him. Oscar has the only good answer to a question like that, that he believes in multiple people INCLUDING the General. The best thing Ironwood can do is talk it out with the people he’s afraid of, so he can learn to relax and let others in. But be careful what you wish for, because Winter is waiting up top for them with a letter. Jacques has invited them to a dinner party at Schnee Manor where Ironwood will have to go before the Council and defend his position. Sounds like an excuse to see our heroes back in fancy dress and meet Mama Schnee...

[rayegunn]

Thor ramble

Preview for Thor is out: https://www.adventuresinpoortaste.com/2020/03/06/marvel-preview-thor-4-2/  I felt the need to ramble about it. It’s been a while since I’ve had a good ramble here.

First off, to Sif Bifrosting Mjolnir away.... hehehehe... good trick. And Thor deserves it right now. He needs to have his toys taken away until he behaves, I don't give a damn if he's king, he’s being an ass. Not that he will, probably, looks like he's about to throw a tantrum there, but still. I mean look at that, he's already beaten a close friend of his to a pulp and destroyed his hammer, and now Sif, his ex lover and current friend, and now guardian of the Bifrost, shows up to defend Bill and repeat what should be a uncontroversial opinion, that helping Galactus to destroy inhabited planets, and beating up your friends, is wrong, and his response is to hurl the hammer at her head. I mean I thought Thor was being a dick when he threw it at Loki, despite Loki's past, but THIS? Much worse. I get that he feels the fate of the universe is on the line, and that sacrifices need to be made towards that end, which mitigates it some, but... there has to be a better way to resolve this conflict than with violence. Thor has been acting all hyper-aggressive and, well, toxic from issue 1, and just seems to be getting worse. I see a lot of Thor fans glad that he's like, really powerful and kicking ass, and I don't get it. Is him being powerful worth it if he loses his soul and sacrifices his morals in the process? tho I have never gotten the obsession some fans with characters being powerful, it's always been much more important to me that they are interesting characters first and foremost, and that usually means they have flaws and weaknesses and can't just steamroll everything. I do think a story exploring power vs morals with Thor, where he sacrifices his morals for power in order to achieve a greater good could be interesting and could end up adding more depth to the character, so I am not saying the story is bad... but it is still sad to see him possibly fall  from grace, same as it would be for any character in that position, and all the power in the universe doesn't make up for that. In Aaron's run, his unworthyness wasn't really a fault of his character, it was a technicality. He was still the same guy, morally, as he was before (tho he did go through a rough patch due to depression) it was just he lost the whole 'knowing you're unworthy but trying anyway' thing that apparently is a major box that needs to be ticked for Mjolnir to allow itself to be lifted. This though, I am seeing what he's doing, and I think to myself that it's no wonder the hammer is getting heavier, because this really is the sort of 'doing evil things for a greater good' deal that I could see Loki doing rather than Thor. If Loki was doing this, it would still be a very murky situation, but it would be in line with his past actions and morals. But for Thor, it's a fall, and that kind of makes his actions feel worse. I'm more upset  at him doing these things than I would be if it were Loki, because Loki has already done this kind of shit before. Recently, even. Maybe not on quite the same scale, I can't think of any planets Loki has blown up off the top of my head, (in the present/past, not counting King Thor) but same sort of morally questionable tactics, so  it would not be that unexpected for him.

I'm betting that Thor will successfully deal with the Black Winter using these tactics, despite various characters, such as Bill and Sif here, standing against him, and that will make him feel everything he did was just and right, he will feel vindicated. And yeah, you could make an argument for that, depending on what he does, I mean, the universe continuing to exist when it otherwise would have died is a bit hard to argue with. And many fans will support his actions because the ultimate outcome was good. But... it may be the start of a slippery slope that he slides downwards on. If these tactics worked out here, why not in a different situation with lower stakes? Will the justification he needs to do these things become less with time? And he will fall, not like Aaron's run where he was unworthy but not immoral, an actual fall from grace where he loses his way. And he, and many fans, may not even realize it until it's too late. Hell, some fans will NEVER get it if he goes bad. I mean, I’m not saying people have to stop liking him as a character, but you can like a character while acknowledging they are not the most morally upstanding person. Liking Punisher doesn't necessarily mean you support gun toting vigilantes wandering the streets, right? I hope, anyway. Like, I think lots of things Loki has done have been pretty scummy, even recently, but that doesn't make him an uninteresting character, I still really like him as a character even if i disagree with some of his actions. Though Loki's trajectory is good right now, while he is still prone to morally murky actions, he's moving in the right direction, his actions right now are comparatively better than they used to be, so I am hopeful he can continue to  improve. But Thor’s trajectory, if this trend continues, is not good, his actions right now are comparatively worse than he has been previously. It's kind of funny, or sad, that as Loki is moving away from these 'bad acts for a greater good' methods, Thor is embracing them, and they may end up still as antagonists, but on opposite sides. (I want them to be friends tho :( ) But some fans (of lots of things, not just Thor) really seem to have a lot of trouble understanding that the protagonist is not always right by default, and they think anyone who stands in the protagonist's way is the bad guy, even if it is clearly a villain protagonist, (see: Breaking Bad) which is bizarre to me.  And I suspect the same will happen with Thor, even if he does not go THAT bad, and just... gray. Comics have long had a bit of a problem with fans completely missing the point when it comes to the morality the books are trying to get across; you somehow have some overtly bigoted X-Men fans, and alt-right Cap fans, etc. it's bizarre sometimes how completely some readers/viewers can miss a critique of something in a work, and the same thing will likely happen here, where the point may be that he’s losing his way, but fans think he’s in the right.

Where did she send Mjolnir, though, i wonder? I have long suspected Thor would have to give up Mjolnir, but because he is all-Father now. Aaron set up a situation with roles that need to be filled, and several other characters have stepped into new ones, Jane is Valkyrie, Sif took Heimdall’s role, Balder is King of the Norns, it looks as though Tyr is going to take Loki’s place as God of Chaos, (though it may be Loki’s solo series was more of a spoiler than most people thought, where Thor was the big bad at the end of time, trying to destroy the Earth, and Thor goes full on bad guy instead, though i am holding out hope for merely gray which he can rebound from after learning a lesson) Loki is King of Jotunheim (tho i suspect there is something more in store for him, given all the teases with him and Mjolnir) and I really like this. I know some people find comfort in an unchanging status quo, but I have always found it boring, and one of the reasons I have been all over Loki the past 10 years or so is that he has been undergoing character development and changing, and I find that interesting. So to have it suddenly applied to Asgard as a whole, where everything is shuffled around and characters are in new roles is something I find very interesting, and I want to see where it leads, and I hope it doesn’t all just revert to the old default status quo. But Thor stepped into his role as king, but didn’t want to give up his old role, and I think that has to give at some point. He has to choose, even if he was not doing some morally dubious shit, All-Father OR hero of the realms, can’t do both at the same time. After last issue, i thought Bill might, at least temporarily, take Mjolnir from Thor, (though, since he has no ties to Earth 99% of the time, I don't think he is right fit to fill Thor's old role permanently) but now it's who knows where, so maybe not. But he's still had Stormbreaker destroyed. :-/ anyway, it has to be really far away, or Thor's just going to call it back in like 2 seconds, not quite sure how far away they are relative to Asgard/Earth, so sending it back there may be far enough... or maybe Jotunheim? Though not sure why Sif would do that. But it could turn the scene with Loki in issue 1 into foreshadowing, if it pops out of the Bifrost coming for his head and stops again. May also be a catalyst to have Thor attack Jotunheim, even tho Loki had nothing to do with this.  But it may also be too easy for him to find in those locations, if she really wants to keep it from him until he calms down, it would be better to send it to some dusty moon orbiting an uninhabited world  around a distant star. Though with Sif controlling the Bifrost, she could simply refuse to send him anywhere near it, regardless of it's location. He may be king, but she has the power in this situation. Also, I wonder how it's trajectory works. Will it carry on with just the momentum it has on the other side of the Bifrost, eventually falling to the ground or hitting something on the other side, or will it try to continue towards his intended target? Though I suppose it doesn't matter too much, if he can summon it no matter how far away it is, so it will be on it's way back to them either way. Though it may be that it is out of range, he may not be able to call it if he doesn't know it's location, (he asked where it was, so he doesn't seem to be able to sense it) or if it's just too far away.

[willidleaway]

Doctor Who, series 12 as a whole

In short: [looks up if the last SW:TCW season will be out on Blu-ray]

Oh hi, didn’t see you come in. I was trying to distract myself from the fact that series 12 of Doctor Who went there.

I mean, the show’s gone up itself a bit, hasn’t it? And I do mean that quite literally. It’s gone upstream in canon and I just don’t know why Chibnall bothered. It’ll teach me to complain about Moffat’s new!Who for taking Doctor-lore so seriously, I suppose, given everything that’s happened now.

Things I liked about series 12: I do feel that with Chibnall as showrunner, each series feels more cohesive in a way that they did not with Moffat, and really not even necessarily with RTD. Plot elements get set up and paid off all throughout the series, and it’s a nice thing to see.

Sacha Dhawan was pretty great to watch, and I rather think maybe his introduction in this series brought out a bit more in Thirteen as well.

Things I can’t say I liked about series 12: just about everything else. This is not equivalent to saying I hated everything else about series 12. But this is me saying that at the end of the day, I found the plotting too exhausting with not enough heart to get me to care much about the story or the characters. The show’s starting to feel like a caricature of itself, in many ways.

In less short: again, I don’t mean to say I disliked everything about series 12 apart from the new Master and the improved cohesion, but I ended up pretty indifferent about much of it, and did start to get a bit irritated by the increasing defiance of ‘show, don’t tell’. But I’m really disheartened by the fact that series 11′s focus on the companions seems to have been just a passing whimsy in the overall picture of Chibnall’s master plan.

But what exactly was the godforsaken point of this master plan anyway? Why bother plotting this series so tightly and cohesively together if the message at its heart is ... basically nothing but a revelation about our protagonist, and one that ultimately (not at first, but ultimately) holds no emotional weight by the protagonist’s own admission? Great, you’ve woven this giant earth-shattering twist into the Doctor Who canon. But is that all that the show is good for? Editing its own lore?

Of course, part of this is that I’m old. (As far as you know.) The show that returned in 2005 is not the show that’s airing now in 2020, and as someone who was sold on new!Who based on the vision it had in RTD’s time, I’m bound to connect less strongly with Chibnall’s vision for the show. This sort of evolution is fine in principle—even necessary—if it’s actually still good television, competent storytelling, with its heart in the right place and an audience that it speaks to. I’ll admit that series 12 is spectacular television in the literal sense of it being a right flashy spectacle of a show—Spyfall should have convinced everyone of that—but is it good? And the serious doubt I have after watching this finale—I had an inkling of a doubt back in episode 3 but by god it’s a serious doubt now—is: is Doctor Who, under Chibnall’s supervision, actually a competent show?

I’ve seen multiple people across subreddits compare this finale to Episode IX of the increasingly incredulous Star Wars saga, and I can’t say I disagree. I’d honestly almost extend the comparison to all of series 12—you have to, in a sense, because the series just functions that cohesively.

And I’d make the comparison a tad favourable to The Rise of Skywalker, actually. There is a case to be made that JJ Abrams, for all his faults and overambitious gambits, was trying to say something beyond just ‘oh Palpatine never died and Snokes grow in jars’ or ‘oh here’s the skinny on Rey’s ridiculously dark past’. I genuinely saw attempts—gestures—at broader messages like ‘you are not alone’ and ‘together we can overcome anything’. I’m not saying these are particularly novel or insightful messages to try and convey, and I’m not saying they were even conveyed that competently. (Episode IX fell into the same more-tell-than-show pit of quicksand that series 12 has found itself in, for one.) But by god there was at least an attempt, whereas I don’t see that here.

If you want a study in contrast, look no further than Moffat’s series 9 finale in comparison to the finale we got tonight. There was an actual character arc! Twelve’s obsession with his ‘duty of care’ bit back on him! He was forced to recognise loss as part of events! Granted, Moffat still pulled his ‘everybody lives’ gambit so Clara only technically died and for all intents and purposes lives a fairly exciting life for many years after we say goodbye to her. But there was an actual emotional resonance that was there!

The point is that Moffat, for all his lovely diversions into past show lore and Time Lord social psychology, never forgot about human relationships and human emotions and how they drove the audience’s investment in new!Who. I mean, sometimes it was played up in a rom-com way (you can take Coupling out of the TV schedules, but never out of Moffat’s writing, I suspect), and there were times when it worked and times when it definitely didn’t work. But it was always there. You could find it. You could see yourself in it, sometimes.

This? What was the point of this? The Doctor is the Timeless Child. It turns out this was a carefully guarded secret known only to the highest echelons of Time Lord society and certainly to the ominously named Division. A large chunk of the Doctor’s life is basically missing, possibly forever.

From a lore point of view: sure, this has massive implications! And Chibnall is at least smart/restrained enough not to spell it all out, and at the end of the day there’s still some mystery—at least, for as long as Chibnall doesn’t proceed to smash that to bits as well in the remainder of his tenure.

But from a storytelling standpoint? Ruth!Doctor even spells it out: ‘have you ever been limited by who you were before?’ The Doctor’s past, ultimately, just doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter to the companions. It doesn’t matter to the Doctor. It doesn’t matter to (I would wager) a large part of Doctor Who’s audience. Chibnall knew this and yet built the whole arc of series 12 around this revelation, which was totally irrelevant to the heart of the show by his own indirect admission.

It doesn’t feel like the sort of thing that you build a 10-episode run around. It feels like something you drop like a mic at the end of a two-parter, and then pick up the pieces of the next time around. In fact, you know, I think series 12 would have been better if we started off with this revelation, giving us time to have any meaningful emotional fallout, some space for it to breathe.

Series 1 had the revelation that Gallifrey was destroyed in the Last Great Time War, but we didn’t build to it. It was given to us near the outset, in episode 2. And new!Who was richer for it, for treating the Time War not as a culmination of some arc, but something that impacted so many subsequent events in the Doctor’s life and by extension in the companions’ lives. The big surprise in series 1 was the Bad Wolf, because it was Rose all along—basically your average Londoner whisked away into extraordinary circumstances and doing extraordinary things. There’s some value in seeing that sort of thing on screen. I don’t find any such value in seeing the Doctor’s past rewritten on screen.

Chibnall, I suspect, overestimates the level of patience everyone else in the world has for tedious lore unfolding, and sees this as only the first half of a grand multi-series plan for reinventing the show. I suspect we will learn that RTD and Moffat were both wiser to attempt no such thing.