#maybe im worrying about nothing idk
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Congratulations on your new semi-permanent experimental position as the Official Daycare Assistant and Attendant Handler!
Now, you may have heard from a few of your coworkers that the Daycare Attendant can get a little... overeager, at times. But we can assure you that these are merely rumors, and should promptly be ignored - after all, the Daycare Attendant is always excited to start the day off with a smile!
Welcome to the Fazbear Family! We're sure you'll love your time with us!
And remember: you have nothing to worry about.
#fnaf fanart#fnaf sb#fnaf#fnaf sun#fnaf dca#sona#sun x y/n#not a generic y/n but??? idk what other tag i would use?#anyway! hiiiii guys!#i actually finished this a while ago#tho i did make a FEW touch ups before posting just now#but anyway!!! yippee!!!#this one has been a wip for like months lmao#i started it last year Orz#BUT YAAAY ITS DONE AND IM REALLY HAPPY WITH IT#YIPPEEEEE#anyway. yeah im sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about#go ahead and make your 'he's smelling your hair' jokes its all been done alread#maybe my shampoo is just delicious#dw about it#funky little jester boys#my art
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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rough draft for chapter 2 of my zelda comic has finally been COMPLETED! current page count is 68, but that can change as im going through, cutting and redoing panels and all
i will start (trying) to render the first pages soon (its been so long ...)
#ganondoodles talks#a large chunk of the later pages havent been proofread yet#i hope someone will give me some feedback before i get to those#no one has been answering for a long time now and i worry a little#i dont wanna demand anything of anyone though since they agreed to do it for basically nothing in return#idk what to do about it#would asking if anyone else wants to join be disrespectful?#this comic is very dear to me so it would have to be someone i know at least a little which is difficult#BC I AM SO BAD AT TALKING TO PEOPLE#AND at keeping in contact#so like ............. idk#maybe im just gonna go for it and if its wrong i guess its wrong xD
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just read the new mutants issue where Charles chose to stay behind in space and my god the juxtaposition between Charles trusting Erik and Erik joining the hellfire club and wondering at his own trust worthiness. I wonder how much of Charles decision was him ultimately trying to avoid the fact that his first class had seemingly betrayed mutant kind and not be willing to face them and how much of it was Dani and Illyana's reaction to him having Karma mind control Illyana. the fact that Illyana was depending on him to ease her mind through limbo and in choosing to stay he forced karma to do it instead, probably fucking up their relationship in the process.
I love him, this is crazy, how much of this is him trying to runaway and how much is this him not trusting himself to fix things and how much is it just him trusting Erik?
i keep trying to put into words my exact thoughts about the sitch but there really is a lot for one issue aintit... oh charles you and your brain...
#snap chats#thats why we have tag rambles AHAHA#ok so to tackle things one at a time charles ultimately deciding to stay in space despite his expressed want to return to earth#obviously it was when lilandra pointed out if her sister took charge of the shi'ar then the universe- earth included- would be in peril#charles notes his position as a losing one: whichever choice he makes he loses#he goes to earth then the universe could be at stake/he stays in space he loses his kids#of course charles COULD just put his faith in the starjammers but is that a risk he wants to take ? evidently not#charles' reoccurring flaw is he's willing to sacrifice personal relationships for the greater perceived good#even lilandra acknowledges this- that charles' homesickness for earth was an inevitability just as she is indebted to protecting the stars#so now his ruptured relationship with illyana and co- esp right after comforting a split illyana last issue#we've seen charles act more coldly/rashly when he's about to lose people (i think of his first death with the og5 mostly)#i mean it's a key part to charles' chara that he doesn't favor mind controlling others and im sure he has the same regard for his students#he's aware of the damage it can do and in this instance- for one reason or another- he orders it to be done regardless#im sure he does this as a form of defense: if his kids are upset with him they won't feel too bad about losing him and it'll be less painfu#obviously we still see sam wish charles farewell and wish for him to come back soon but yk.. worthy attempt..#and it's not as if charles wants them to hate him ENTIRELY.. he's still touched by sam's goodbye no.... fickle man he is..#i dont think charles is totally afraid to confront the og5- its what made him want to return to earth with the nms initially#tho again.. could his decision to stay in the stars be influenced by that? that maybe he ISNT prepared to confront them like he thought?#who's to say... not me i dont got that psych degree yet..#erik being charles' trusted confidant definitely made his decision easier on top of that: i mean is he needed if he has a substitute#i think charles DOES wholly trust erik: charles really doesnt approach his x-men half heartedly. from his pov ofc#if he didn't genuinely believe in erik's potential he wouldn't have picked him; hes a comforting thought when charles decides to depart#'although i'm gone erik understands me and my goals enough to continue my work as good as i would have so i have nothing to worry about'#which. yk. makes the whole White King thing kinda awkward VJAELVJEAKL charles you fool#i have no idea how this saga ends though... tbh im only on ish 45 of NM i just read 50 and 51 to get context for this ask#so i can only wait and see how this saga turns out... once i finish reading house of m/secret invasion stuff jvLKEJKA#idk im tired and rambling dont pay attention to me.. ramblin bout charles' brain is a good day for me regardless if i make sense jVLAJ
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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts
#toy txt post#my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW#its very silly of me#imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad#even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i#listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary#i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a#different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound#so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy#ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate#feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed#*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it#which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting#sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same#i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic#OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about#different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject#needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP#ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE#WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE#SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR#ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT#anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess#(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill#deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts#and the subject
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On one hand, I want a final fantasy 6 remake, because the game is criminally underrated and the amount of fan content (which is all absolutely fantastic btw) is Not Enough for my neurodivergent, hyperfixating brain.
On the other hand, that would inevitably encourage more people to join the fandom, which would be great, except it seems these days the bigger a fandom gets the more toxic it becomes, and I really like what we have going on over here in our little corner. We all just love the game and its characters and nobody fights about who should and shouldn't date who or who you shouldn't like because they're ~problematique~. Nobody's trying to make one ship morally better than another, nobody's calling anyone names or threatening to doxx people who don't agree with their opinions. It's so peaceful and I love that for us. We're just vibing. Moisturized. Unbothered. In our lane. Flourishing.
#as someone who was in an extremely toxic and chaotic fandom and lowkey still traumatized#to the point where I'm afraid to mention which fandom it was/what my ship was#i have to say#i genuinely love it here#i was nervous at first sharing my ships and headcanons but everyone is so chill i was worried for nothing#thank you to everyone I've interacted with who has made this fandom a healing experience for me#i shudder to think about what some of the people i interacted with in a previous fandom would do with ff6#probably would take edgar's flirting at face value and call him problematic for objectifying women#instead of considering the narrative and what we know about him and the way he actually treats women#my man drinks loving and respecting women juice he's not a creep#or that weird moment with relm that admittedly made me double take before i realized what he meant#theyd have a whole campaign against him lmfao#bc those people boil characters alive until they're just a formless pile of tropes and stereotypes#and seem to disregard all positive aspects of a character they don't like which is fine#but then they go and try to force other people to think like they do and ugh#theres a lot of silly moments in the game and aspects of these characters that make them well rounded and realistically flawed at times#and i fear that would get lost in the chaos if the floodgates opened after a remake#maybe im just jaded lmao#im jaded and i have anxiety so im always thinking about The Worst Case Scenario#the collective positive spirit of the dwellers in this fandom might actually foster a positive space if more people were to come in#ff6#my post#i was gonna say maybe this is bc we're mostly adults#but that falls flat when i remember how some of the most toxic and immature people in some fandoms are grown ass adults#who bully each other and younger fans#and some of the most mature and cool people were actually younger#maybe ff6 fans are just built different lmao#also idk how old anyone else actually is there might be teenagers here i just don't think about it a lot
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going to start this post with the fact that im not trying to be a hater right now im just genuinely confused . anyway. the thing about sonic and shadow is that i dont think its a bad ship or that its entirely baseless or that their relationship is meaningless or anything like that. my feelings on so/nadow are complicated but i do like it to a degree . but i also feel like people are exaggerating how much is there in terms of canon backing for the ship (at least in the franchise overall if we're talking sonic prime specifically that makes more sense but prime is also like the spiders georg of so/nadow). like they have their moments but i dont think its as frequent a thing as people act like it is (again at least not in the games/comics) . like theyre just not as close or as obviously in love in the actual source material as some people seem to think they are ..??? some of the stuff i see being passed around as so/nadow moments is just them existing in the same frame .. ??? im not even saying its wrong to ship them or make them be in love in the headcanon sonic universe that exists in your head or whatever i just think that saying its basically canon is a huge stretch and idk what people are seeing between them that im not . sorry please dont get madat me. scampers away like a frightened little animal
#not prompted by anything in particular btw ive just been thinking about this for a couple days now#like i said im not trying to be a hater i just genuinely dont get it#also the way people try to make any and everything sonic and shadow do into proof that so/nadow is canon#even if only one of the characters is involved or its a massive reach or requires ignoring the existence of other characters#(usually knuckles. i could go on forever about the knuckles erasure in all this but thats a topic for another post#and i also always worry it comes off as me just arguing that so/nknux is better when thats not the point at all)#ialso think that some people ar ejust kind of making stuff up and convincing themselves its canon#like for example ive seen people say sonic and shadow are portrayed as a couple in official art and the art in question is just#of shadow standing there and they chose to interpret it as him thinking about sonic even though the art has nothing to do with him?#and i dont think its wrong to have so/nadow interpretations of moments that werent meant to be read that way . do what you want#but i feel like once you get to the point where you genuienly believe that every little thing they do is a hint theyre in love#maybe you should step back for a moment and look at the stories as a whole without the son/adow tunnel vision. idk
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guys i turn 30 in january what do i DO
#rationally ik absolutely nothing changes#but i feel like theres an axe hanging over my head#also#idk like should i even do anything lol#friend of mine whose bday is a full month after me is already planning hers and im like#idk maybe i jsut feel so shitty and jaded but im just like what even is the point#getting a bunch of people together and having them pretend that it means anything that you were born on this exact calendar date decades ag#?????#idk like who even cares#i kind of want to do something but im worried i'll just cry#and it's also like idk it feels so forced like no one gives af about me or my birthday so why am i even trying#just AAAAAAAAA
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Castlevania is interesting but tell my why we get three episodes of internal conflict in the dracula castle (good) while the main characters are on a library and do fuck all. Well they have three scenes of relationship building that are supposed to mean something when they come out but they are so little and superficial imo
#and why the hell was season 1 four episodes#alucard and trevor hating each other is understandable but the resolution is fuck all and do not get me started on sypha and trevor#or sypha and alcuard. also sypha talks like she is supposed to reveal their inner workings and thats so bad.....#trevor and alucard are teens stuck in men bodies so they dont get along ok. can i know why....#also they were laughing and joking in gresit so what happened all of the sudden. the library is no excuse bc alucard knew who trevor was#idk man. its such a nothing burger. sypha and trevor relationship comes out of thin air wdym youre the best. since when are you being honest#am i going to blame this on a short episode count and also short episodes. yeah maybe. plague upon the earth#but them stuck in the library for three episodes and doing fuck all is just.... why#also dracula your war council is WHACK#get better fighters what is thus#also why is alucard a wolf. and hus flying sword. i an sure it is explained in the games but hello can i know why#why are we fighting in the study....#you know maybe i dont care bc alucard killing his father was very good. wish it made me care about trevor or sypha#and the dialogue wasnt so cringe sometimes#i respect sypha's two boyfriends grind i do. by god she will make them get along#wished i cared more.....#sypha telling them how they have grown as characters.... stop.....#hector has been kept as a pet noooo.....#not his face carmilla.... thats his biggest asset....#girl are you making marriage bows on the wagon after a week??? girl..... did he suddenly stop smelling like piss bc he sure didnt bathe#dont you worry ablut feeling lonely alucard im on my way.... if you will have me bc i am not sure about that yet but i will try alas#that last cry was just a little treat bc damn#you know alucard and dracula are the thing here and they dont even talk until the end.... travis and sypha on the other hand....#talking tag#watching castlevania
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You all know I'm pro dead dove to the max i love the artistry of it all but there's something about stuff like urbanspook and playground and all that other fucking dumb horseshit that i just can't abide. The lack of nuance or meaning maybe idk. It's insincere and that's what chafes.
#if you dunno what im talking about dont worry about it#stabtxt#like idk if its the level of dishonesty or the fact its just shock value and nothing else...#or maybe it's just bc its shit <3 shit writing <3#like “ok the killer put 30 kids in a meat grinder w fecal matter and the killer stood by and masturbated!!!!!! are you scared?”#no. say something meaningful or die.#like even the edgiest of OCs I've seen on here are saying something there's a passion there......#I'm probably not making sense THERE'S JUST A DIFFERENCE OK
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should i leave it up to the masses if bruno is a closet trans woman at this point cause like i genuinely dont know for myself anymore
#liiiike the reason i am holding back is mainly because im worried it would have transmisogynistic implications#since bruno's large size and power (esp with dusk) is constantly emphasized. and its supernatural stuff vs ''hes like that bc hes amab''#like. castor is there as an afab character in the exact same spot so i dont think it comes across as bioessentialist.#but theres also how he has a more masc name and he would never actually come out as a woman in the narrative#its more. ''what if bruno had a happy ending'' au material. does that make sense#castor succeeds where bruno didnt. he escaped. he actually took agency rather than pretending he had it all and doing nothing with it#and him coming out as trans is a big part of that bc he accepted something about himself and moved forwards. where bruno never could#because bruno forced herself into a box and just wallowed in the shame of what she'd done#and i REALLY like the conclusion that if bruno had just taken real initiative and forged her own path then she'd have been truly happy#and idk maybe i have enough happy trans women characters to make up for this one? but idk. i dont want it to come across as meanspirited#bruno's story is a tragedy but i dont want it to be meanspirited. especially since im not transfem myself and i know transfem rep#thats actually good is hard to come by#not that i dont think queer ppl can have tragic stories too. but idk#echoed voice
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Ugh not to be like it’s been 5 years: LET IT GO.
But. It’s been FIVE YEARS. And we’ve been friends but the only thing you talk about is that conference we attended together that I can’t even remember anything but seeing bunnies on campus and that it was my first time taking a taxi alone.
I’ve moved on. I can’t remember it anymore to hold these grudges. I can’t hold onto those extra grudges that I’m not part of. I can’t remember what they did until you rehash it. (Also omg LISTING OUT NAMES?!? I don’t even remember almost half these names at all)
#shattered fragments#whining#anyway I’m not replying to a message that says ‘I hate these people’#which. I vaguely remember racism as a thing that was one of the issues which is fair but there were other things I can’t remember#bc it was FIVE YEARS AGO.#I don’t even think the conference exists anymore#like. we live in VERY DIFFERENT PROVINCES#YOU NEVER HAVE TO SEE THEM AGAIN#EVER#YOU ARE SEVERAL PROVINCES AWAY FROM ALL OF THEM#PLEASE SIR COULD YOU MAYBE TALK TO idk. therapist instead. im kinda sick of this one point in EVERY single conversation we’ve ever had#and also in our text based conversations too#(ok. other than being queer and asian we have. like. nothing in common tbh).#and it feels so shitty to say but I’m only like 70% sure of their pronouns. bc it’s not in the ig and it’s been. five years.#things that make me happy#ugh.#like we could talk about food#but then it’s back to conference food and I can’t fucking remember any of it#complaining about work is an option I suppose#I just. if I want to keep rehashing the same negative shit over and over. not to the same person unless they say they’re ok with it#and honestly. it just brings me down.#I have enough stuff to worry about and regret without a conference FIVE YSARS AGO.#I REGRET ENOUGH DROM WHAT I REMEMBER AS A CHILD#I DONT NEED TO FUCKING ADD SOMETHING THAT WAS MOSTLY JUST A NEW EXPERIENCE FOR TRAVELLING ALONE FOR ME TO IT
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Just saw your head bonk comic so are you better????? You went to a doc right??
my forehead is fine 👍 ive seen a doctor who actually listen (incredible shit) and im going to have to do another test (😔) and MRIs (😱) cause doc want to see if smth is pressing on my optic nerve (🫣)
#i just wokeup snd its fibeam. huh i did split open my forehead like three other tikes after thst#sound dramatic. VERY tiny scratches. Teeny tiny. all healed.#will keep updated if we find smth. if not then silence till we do idk.#it was epic tho. seeing a doctor who looked at my results and immediatly said ‘hm. thats not normal.’ and went on to order some tests!!#thats so different from ‘heh. doesnt even look That bad. dont worry about its nothing at all’ after going back and forth for half a year#unfortunately it cost money. sort of reumboursed ish but might make commish again if i need it#for a while i was starting to think ‘hey. maybe nothing is jappenîg and im exagerating. but doc went ‘thats not normal’ and im like oh#there IS smth happening agter all. this isnt like. me making it up. doc immediatly caugh on my right beong shit. yeayy#shouldng maybe andwer ask ag five am
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#been feeling very. idk. lonely tonight#theres truly no reason for me to#my friends are. pretty much a text away#as is my lovely partner#normally id worry about him reading this post but the last few weeks he hasnt been looking at my posts much#so im 75% confident they wont see this. and hey. maybe if he does then i'll. like. garner the attention ive been hoping for#but hoping for that make me feel not only like a dick but an abusive manipulator so my hope is he actually wont see this#hes doing stuff with family anyhow so. im hoping he'll just have a nice evening#idk i dont wanna like. drag anyone down into the pits of despair i keep finding myself in despite trying to distract myself pretty constant#idk i think im really only posting cause i feel like im all alone#and i just burned my arm on a candle flame bad enough it singed off my arm hair in a noticeable patch#and im watching the skin the area turn this soft brown color and splinter off like its head dandruff and i just. dont wanna bother anybody#ive run it under cold water btw dont worry im not like. gonna slip into hurting myself again im already so angry that i broke my fuckin#almost a year and a half clean streak back in January and kept at it until like fuckin March#but im gonna stay clean . i am GOING to stay good and clean because im already so fucking angry at myself about a lot right now#and i fuckin. do not need to add broke the stupid fucking clean streak fo hurting myself again to the list i just DONT need that on my plat#idk. im just lonely i guess. im just lonely and feeling horrifically amounts of unlovable#idk. i havent been telling people stuff recently#ive been working on trying to lose weight again recently. didnt eat nothing for 36 hours and had a hypoglycemic attack at school#and scared my fuckin friend doing it#and i havent actually told no one#cause im being GOOD#im being so good with it#im losing the weight im looking better slowly.#and that means that i should be loved again soon that means that that idk#idk#i hope no one fuckin sees this post#i just. dont know where else togo to rant about this stuff.#i wish i wasnt clean at all#i wish i didnt have time built up at all because i want to feel the faux good
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#so from what i’ve read k*sa’s been passed by the senate#it still needs to go through the house so i have hope. not to mention these supposed edits that seem to make it So Much Better#i feel a little eerily calm but at the same time i don’t#i’m curious as to how the internet is gonna look and function when/if it does become law#i know the way i’ve been worrying about this makes it look like i’m a minor when im almost 21. but in a way i feel like that same—#14 year old kid writing fics on wattpad & having my parents go through my phone#‘if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear’ isn’t applicable when regular sfw fanfic would get you in trouble#i think i’ll look into moving some things around. because like I said if it needs an ID i won’t use it#my hope is that the bill gets shot down but if not it’ll be a limited number of sites requiring an ID and I won’t use those sites#my hope is that ao3 isn’t one of them in which case I’ll keep posting and I might start up like a community page on there—#using one of my works if that’s allowed#i would like to think nothing is gonna change but if everything changes i might just have to go entirely offline#just go to school and work and the gym and cross stitch and maybe write fic in a notebook idk#i really hope that they know what they’re doing with this bill and it’s used for protection but i’m having a hard time believing that#tw vent#rose.txt
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