#maybe i'm looking in the wrong places idk
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So, to add on to Navi's post, because her whole read for the original was getting screenshots from the game to debunk what was said, of course....we are now here. I want to tell you that no one here disagreed with your conclusion about Ganondorf being a victim. What we here disagreed with was the method you used to get there. Simplifying Ganondorf down to solely good or solely evil is something this Fandom does all the time with little to no nuance. And even though you have written an eloquent essay, Published even! You twisted or outright made up parts of the game to get to your conclusion. In essay writing, that's called a logical fallacy, and the whole essay either twists what happens in the game or outright gets it wrong.
Now people are probably gonna wonder why I'm treating this like a big deal or why I'm speaking so blunt, because this is by all means very stupid fandom drama.
But I think when you're a college prof and you get an essay published and it's online for people to read everywhere without you, one, not giving the context behind Ganondorf's creation and the coding of his appearance and motivations, two the complexities of a corporate conglomerate in a notoriously socially conservative country taking aesthetics from countries who were historically colonized. And Three, The way that video games are a collaborative effort with usually no singular vision, this is very true at nintendo despite what people may think, and at any moment changes can be made for any reason by team leads or executives that would hinder or even hurt a story. It detrimental to the audience reading it that you do not provide them more of a couple of screenshots
Basically, many things go into a story and now I'm taking this more from a DOYLIST view right here talking about Nintendo. But I'm doing this because you keep trying to say..... well fuck man do I need to pull up more examples? Navi got them all, the whole essay is you trying HEAVILY to imply that Nintendo MEANT to do all of this, as in intentional in the story, idk I feel crazy, words have meaning, specific wording has implication, oh and this dosent even get into how localization can change things 😃😀 wording has meaning and sometimes translators don't have cultural contexxxtttttttt and to not even mention about Nintendo's history or even the short hand that comes from Ganondorf's design and the historical Orientalism behind it feels like a disservice to the paper, but much more qualified people then I have discussed the way Ganondorf is written and probably would love to discuss or link to previous writing again if asked.
And this is a cold take but Nintendo isn’t the place you should be looking to for deep story telling, they will always be a corporate entity first and the bottom line is a general audience, this does not mean JUST KIDS this means to a generalized population. And this is extremely cynical but a lot of people cant even handle the complexity of a female character who is mean, like Midna, do you really think people would handle a Ganondorf like how he is in Tp being portrayed in any form of film language as good????? This game dropped 5 years after 9/11, Nintendo was never gonna lose out in money like that.
And Dude people have given so much shit to HUGE fanartists and comic authors about their work portraying Ganondorf in a sympathetic light, you would of thunk more people would of picked up on Ganondorf's story being written as tragedy if there was something in the game that actually DID that. Maybe they would of written a blog post about how Midna saw Link kill Ganondorf and was ashamed of that or Ganondorf TOTALLY said the history of light and shadow will be written in blood thing before the final battle, you think people would of talked about huh why did Ganondorf say that there or something and maybe went 🤔 instead of it being argued that Tp Ganondorf had the weakest writing of the series until TotK threw a pile of flaming shit at my door with a picture of Ganondorf on it.
Navi also goes in depth on how Hyrule has not exactly stagnated like what was claimed in History of Light and Shadow by using the Goron merchants and Yeto as examples.
Rynling has stated that the cause of the stagnation and decline is due to an ineffectual leader that has "Not allowed its people to be revitalized by change and diversity."
Now I am familiar with the flaws of an undetermined national unity, I am very familiar with the subject, but I’m not going to speak like an authority. Id rather let someone much more qualified make that post and I link back to it, because i know its coming. But Navi said in her post that the idea of what could of happened at Arbiter's Grounds can completely blow over someone's head if they didn't play OoT first, and I think more or less this is accurate, certain things are lost in Wind Waker even with the recaps, but I wanna join in on this in my own way...
Rynling....you may say Hyrule has been on a decline during Tp......you may even think OoT had a more stable Hyrule or some shit.....i THINK YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE PLOT OF OCARINA OF TIME BAYBEEEEEEE
THE SUPPLEMENTAL MATERIAL THAT I CAN PULL UP TO PROVE MY SHIT ABOUT OOT HYRULE BEING DOG SHIT IN COMPARISON TO TP
Like if you're seriously gonna link me and Navi to your essay then I am about to go full BTW it's a Sativa and eat that bitch after midnight cuZ we YELLIN ABOUT OCARINA OF TIME ON THIS POST FOR EVERYONE🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
All of Ocarina of Time's narrative is haunted by the civil war, the whole reason why Link is being raised in the woods is cuz of the civil war, the Sheikah are implied to have died out during the same conflict, and well its said that Hyrule was unified during it
Civil War yet the translators use unified the country like it WASNT under a sole ruler before? Hello? I need to go back through the Japanese script for the game again to see if i missed something of the game and freak it harder. And do realize the Deku sprout in this screenshot says fierce war but every where else, including the Zelda wiki (not fandom) its CIVIL War.
The Gate to Death mountain and Simultaniously the fence at Zora's river gives us and idea that peace was....tenuous at best downright hostile at worse given relations with the Gerudo
so today we gonna do some fun comparing and contrasting the Gorons and how they are treated in OoT to TP
and we gonna start with his racist ass BHJBHDBHKCJW
I mean, damn remmeber how mad Darunia is at Link for being the supposed royal family messenger? Link Unlocking the door to Darunia's room with Zelda's lullaby, I think it's a little funny that Darunia is hung up , you know, like he knows this is some disrespectful shit
Hey wannna hear some shit? The gates at the edge of death mountain aren't guarded by Gorons and were not built by them you can tell, the only way to visit the mountain is to get permission from the King to go up and not from the people that actually live there
God and like, there is something about the way Darunia locks himself in his room, like he does it to keep the ruby safe from all the other Gorons being so hungry that he's frightened they're gonna eat it, he doesn't know what to do on how to act about the Dodongos that Ganondorf summon on him for not giving over that rock. It qlmost sounds like when Ganondorf came in and Threatened Darunia, and that he (Darunia) sent a message to the royal family asking for help, why else would he be expecting someone to come meet with him?
"If I'm not mistaken, you came out here to eat the red stone too! Well, too bad! It's not here! What? That's not why you're here? You're looking for a "Spiritual Stone?" You must mean that delicious-looking red stone that was once displayed above the city! I was so hungry that I thought it would be OK to just give it one tiny, little lick...so I snuck up there. But it was already gone! I think Big Brother took it away. He always says that everyone is after that red stone! Big Brother has shut himself up in his room saying, "I will wait in here for the Royal Family's messenger!" this is a quote from the Goron that you can find on the middle of the rope bridge thing in Goron city.
Yeah so he sent a letter or something and no one answered yeesh.
contrast this all with TP where OH LOOKS WHO'S GUARDING DEATH MOUNTAIN
so in TP spoilers, this happens
Kakariko is more connected then ever! Renado here is wondering what the hell is going on with their FRIENDS. And yeah the Goron elder Gor Coron is trying to keep the last few people from kakariko left safe, and other Gorons, i mean, theyre keeping a piece of the fused shadow in there. also the way that entry into the temple goes in this game is cute, Darunia was freaking it cuz everyone is starving, but here Link wrestles his way up a mountain to ask the Gron elder whats happening since he was asked to come here by Renado, Gor Coron goes DAMN
unless......?
IDK ITS LIKE? ITS SILLY? Idk Hyrule isnt the best place but why try and act like this doesnt happen during TP?
so where am i getting at with this? the hell was going on back during OoT? If things are so odd and weirdly tense with the gates gaurds and non responses
"As time passed, the Triforce became a legend, and the different people of Hyrule forgot the laws and wisdom that the goddesses had left behind. Warfare and strife became common in Hyrule, as the armies of the Zora marched on the Hylians. The Gorons fought the Gerudo. It seemed every race of Hyrule was at the other's throat. Only the secluded Kokiri, sheltered by their magical forest and the Great Deku Tree, were spared the destruction of Hyrule's civil wars.
After 50 years of ceaseless combat, there arose a Hylian King of great wisdom, courage and power. Through his brilliant military campaigns and wise diplomacy, he was able to bring the varied people of Hyrule into a tenuous harmony. Treaties of peace were signed, and prosperity once again seemed to bloom in Hyrule. But no sooner had people declared peace in Hyrule than trouble once again stalked the land."
Tenuous Harmony, could you imagine if they dropped a line like this in Creating a champion? The tumblr side of the fandom would go fucking nuts with that info like OHHHHH SHIT WAS GOING ONNNNNN
This was ALL on the offical Nintendo Zelda website back when oot was the big game out, we have this cuz someone saved it to the wayback, THIS SCREENSHOT WAS FROM DECEMBER 14TH 2001, ABOUT A FULL YEAR AND A DAY UNTIL WIND WAKER WAS RELEASED IN JAPAN. THAT'S INSANE RIGHT???? ‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
And then it all probably got deleted once wind waker became the new thing!!! Or when they wanted to modernize and deleted it!!! THAT SUCKS RIGHT????
And what's worse is that it introduces some new info and also clarifies something. Hey you know when I made that post like damn Darunia racist as hell
"Warfare and strife became common in Hyrule, as the armies of the Zora marched on the Hylians. The Gorons fought the Gerudo."
NO WHERE IN THE GAME THE LEGEND OF ZELDA OCARINA OF TIME IT SAYS THIS, IT DOES NOT STATE THERE WAS CONFLICT BETWEEN THE GORONS AND GERUDO.....LIKE DIN GET YA KIDS.....IM LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR SOMETHING I MUST OF MISSED.
But Like oh hey a fucking explanation to why he just fucking says that, I figure it was cuz of Ganondorf trying to almond mom all of them or that he kept talking to the King and well.....Navi already showed the GENERAL reaction to the Gerudo in castle town.
it went from oh hes just racist to dARUNIA AND GANONDORF HAVE HISTORY????
But the interesting one is why did thy Zora "marched on the Hylians."
Like sitting here like, I know a comic made in Germany shouldn't be a be all end all in shit I knew it never was and it would like. If you put this in warrior cats canonicoty categorization would be considered lower down supplementary material dubious canon, but their are things in the comic AND the Himekawa manga that behinds some behind the scenes actions given that LINK'S MOM HAS A MOSTLY CONSISTENT DESIGN WHAT THE HELLLLLLLL. And I always thought the Goron Zora war thing was stupid but Nintendo then had that out on their website, what the hell was going ON.
Because idk i didnt think much of Zora De Bon XVI and the Hyrulien King's relationship but
Now a days the Zelda website is much different and does not have lore pages like this anymore, it's more like a summary of the timeline. But yeah actually Nintendo approved shit, Hylian/Zora war.
Hyrule is progressing, its just going slowly, Hyrule is not AS stifled by its monarchy or a lack of integration during TP because Hyrule IS integrating, is people's are intermingling like is hasn't before during this game.
And this isn't even to get started on the E3 demo of Twilight princess that the trip that Link is supposed to take at the beginning of the game was to be the representative of Ordon at the "Hyrule summit
and Hyrule is described in a VERY specific way
Kingdom of Hyrule and neighboring realms? like theyre all not under the crown? so like???? FUN, that didn't end up making it in the game. the dailouge that is, But the remints is still there in the way the game is made up, like how OoT is built off is civil war bones
actually funny, Navi just got me screenshots of the way the dialouge was changed here
Like stuff clearly changed during the demo and finished game, I should of been touching more on the intricacies of how like shit was just change for no reason sometimes but uh....
But maybe @rawliverandgoronspice would want to one day like about games industry stuff if you ever want to 😭 I know you're super passionate on this and I wish I like even off hand mentioned something about how like TP is also effected by how games are made but I didn't and I'm a fool but games are complicated as hell and that post you made talking a bit about it was fun ya know 👉👈 and the Beta of Tp changes a LOT of stuff, one Rusl really is like a brother to link in the way he messes with him, it actually makes some weird Nintendo licensed shit saying hes like a big brother to Link made WAYYYYY more since with the Beta in mind, but....that also mean they tried to keep the big bro vibes....but then put the dad ones in there too like.....uh...did..someone not change his summary anywhere?
that was my big thing i wanted to talk about, navi's already touched on everything else i just think the parallels here between the Goron quest between OoT and TP changes in such a nice way.
And like this doesn't get into other shit about TP, like if we wanna deep dive into shit ya don't gotta do it by twisting the story, like I was going and talking to @blackautmedia to ask with some help when it came to like.......god idk what i even said anymore i was going a mile a minute. He wants to write his own thing on Twilight princess so im not gonna step on his toes but he has recommended Arabs and Muslims in the Media: Race and Representation after 9/11 by Evelyn Alsultany, the link I provided here is too her website and her page on the book this link here is from her own site that has a pdf of a part American Quarterly with a paper by the same name.
Anyways i wanna reflex for a moment cuz ive been up for hours finishing this because my brain wont stop unless i do. But the thing that by all means started this, was not your reblog linking me and Navi to your essay, or that there is 2 versions i found out where the paper published one had a lot more context to why you wrote your tumblr post the way you did, Navi helped me get the parts that were cut, please realize removing these does not remove the sentiment from the essay, its baked in.
fanfic, its a popular Fan interpretation that there was fighting between the Gerudo and Hylians after Ganondorf was caught trying to take the triforce, but this is not stated to of happened in the lore itself or even has evidence to back it up other then the Implications of Arbiter's grounds theory
UGHHHH AND THIS AGAIN "Twilight Princess Delivers a subtle yet poignant protest against neoliberal discourses of empire reflected in the rhetoric of heroism inform the geopolitical movements of Japan throught the twentieth century"
WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING ABOUT......
i dont mean this in a stupid ass way, im saying where the hell was about the protest thing, wait i really shouldt take from the published one cuz you actually dumbed down the line for tumblr
anyways again, where, Navi made it clear enough with her own post that, no, the way that Ganondorf is animated has no sympathy for him until the light is literally leaving him. Hell Twilight princess inst very kind to the gerudo either given that the only thing said about them is that they were thieves and nothing more. Like somehow OoT is more empathetic to the Gerudo, it doesn't just call them thieves, it aint great its not even good its just a bad portrayal of a people, and yet somehow OoT is willing to show the Gerudo in a neutral light at points then TP ever did.
but the reason i decided to just throw down a post is cuz i was pissed that you went after Ezlo for reblogging ME and NAVI's posts and purposefully misunderstood their fuckin wind waker post about ZELDA YOUTUBERS
dude you had them getting genuinely harassed by people with 0 reading comprehension that thinks a snarky reply to a tumblr post means its 100% correct. Webbed. Site.
anyways, I hope people don't take this as a right or wrong way to interpret a piece of work, as stated before, I read your essay, navi read your essay, you changed parts of Twilight Princess to get to the conclusion of you paper...And im gonna be real but it's kinda crazy that you're using post colonial melancholia for this when it's got some.....well something like idk i need someone to do a full ass review because there are point where i gently raise an eyebrow im gonna be real. but also like
like how do you read his book and then miss out on this, one of your whole big aruments is that hyrule is stagnate and not multi cultural and i had to grab screenshots and Navi had to get shit from the game.
like damn, do yall ever uh feel a strange sadness when dusk falls? i do. Idk this is one of the first and last times Nintendo ever delt with Ganondorf with some form a sympathy for him, cuz we got the dragon explosion in totk its like oh he's turbo evil now and he exploded you exploded him and yet the Gerudo probably still gotta pay for his shit from a billion years ago anyways idk idk idk pot shots at totk again.
I know you dug around a little for that post, and I understand from the numerous people that dmed me about that, you probably went on making an essay on their post so you could sound smart again.
And to be clear, I was told to drop some shit i was about to say about you because no one wants to start fandom drama, neither do I truly and any jab on the post itself would just be rude. people change and some people only learn to shut the hell up, so we'll keep it at that. I just hope you really don't truly recognize some of these people you started shit with.
So yeah tldr, uh.....idk, im going in for an autism screening in a month
also me watching the ending to windwaker cuz i wanted to say something about stong endings TP fans im sorry But Wind waker's ending hits no matter what best sequal to OoT thats isnt Majora's mask
The History of Light and Shadow
At the end of Twilight Princess, Ganondorf delivers one of his most memorable lines, “The history of light and shadow will be written in blood.” He is not wrong. As the player has witnessed over the course of Link’s adventure, Hyrule is haunted by ruins and ghost towns, a mere shadow of what it once was. The landscape is filled with numerous sites of past violence and empty spaces visibly marked by decay and wasted potential.
When Zelda tells Link and Midna that “these dark times are the result of our deeds,” she is referring to specific historical acts of imperialistic aggression. Hyrule established hegemony over its outlying territories by crushing the rebellions against its advances, but the kingdom has suffered from cultural stagnation as a result. Without the dynamic diversity symbolized by Ganondorf, Hyrule finds itself in economic and political decline, isolated from any contact with the world beyond its shrinking borders.
As a representative of a marginalized group of people who have been attacked and driven from their homes, Ganondorf is a tangible manifestation of the horrors of imperialism. He must be defeated, but doing so does not address the underlying problems that have resulted in Hyrule’s decline. I therefore want to argue that Twilight Princess uses Ganondorf to deliver a subtle yet poignant protest against the discourses of empire reflected by the dualistic “light and shadow” rhetoric of heroism that has resulted in tragedy and regret.
Keep reading
#oughhhhhh#oghhnkn eepy time yeah never agian#i have a whole thing about the triforce i wanted to say all this shit because of corruption and power but im so tired and ucked up what if#draw like crazy tomorrow or something like oh hbhbgb but uhhhhhh anyways anyways#now that i dont ffeel like i goot wAIT THE CHAINS BREAKING MAMA DIDNT RAISE A QUITTER#but like idk i dont like fightig or anything online i was just so??????????????? when Ezlo got hit for no reason like hi dont do that they#werent apart of this like#idk maybe im just a little venomus rn too but i also uh....would not be mkaing repeat posts where you wax academic about post colonial#ghosts but can reblog more then 8 posts for palestine in over a year??? like thats mean to say but with the context of Ori....#yeesh#idk bad look. there are real people to care about and this is why i dont wanna do internet discourse no more#its just stupid as hell and i have become SOOOOO normal#god lets hope i didnt eave lose ends i look ill rn ive been up over uh..........36 hours for some ungodley reason#wasnt even writing this the whole time i was clotecting eggs and laying down some diatematious earth for these birds#oh and then i get like.....IM GONN DRAW GANONDORF#I GOT AN ASK ABOUT HIM AND HES BEEN ROTATING IN MY HEAAADDDDDD#OOOOOOOO DORFFYDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#Anyways back to my shit i will hopefull never be this mean again because its fucking exausting#but like bunch of dudes in your dms like LOOK AT THIS and you go oh YEESH i am so sorry i was a teen when that happened#well anyways im gonna be doing my little tasks and stuff tomorrow cuz#AS I SAID THE CHAINS! I CAN FINALLY KRILL MYSELF (srimp dinner)#one of these days i need to designn this fursona i have in my head and post it#i got so many things to dooooooooo and yet#alright well that was a waste of time#maybe ill come back to this and point at myself like you should of grabbed sunset perril by the throat about the wold cock thing#okay it was average it wasnt even Terato i wanted to SCREAM#this is not normal right? dude come on get weird with that shit#oh shit i should play bloodborne agAIN WAIT IS ELDENRING CO OP A THING#oh i would FUCK SO SEVERLY IN THERE#I May get webfishing soon but after i do some stuff
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I'm so excited you're taking requests for Rupert Campbell-Black!!
Do you think you could maybe fo #15 from your prompt list about him showing up for the reader bc they don't have anyone else?
Idk if just love that trope and I think it works with him.
If you don't feel inspired by that one no worries!
Someone in the crowd
prompt15 Rupert Campbell Black x fem!reader
word count: 5.3k+
warnings: parental neglect, mild swearing, hurt comfort, FLUFF
AN: Ahhhhhhh ANON I love you this is my fav prompt I was initially planning on the same one anyways thanks for platform ing my Rupert obsession you’re the first one
The chronicles of the country side for a veterinary sciences PhD student included more than just animals, main reason she selected a university so far from the hustle and bustle of the city. Peculiar animals in their natural state, she came across more than just peculiar animals.
Trespassing loses its meaning for the engrossed researcher, she didn’t realise when she passed the forest to a private estate land whilst following the slow worm. The most advanced high end camera, that Rupert had only seen with those media folks and proper film production. However he assumed the girl in a camouflage jungle vest to be an intern in a tabloid firm, trying to prove herself to be ever so efficient to her superiors by sneaking in to his property for a few pictures. Too naive to realise he could sue her for all her fortune perhaps. Rather an amateur at her job perhaps, she was there to snap him yet her attention didn’t avert to him on his horse before he approached her himself, “Young lady” he cleared his throat sternly “You do realise you’re trespassing here?”
“Oh?” She looked out of her camera lens to the voice that called out her and in an instant she lost sight of the slow worm she was following. “Fuck!”
“And if you don’t delete the pictures and get off of this land right this second I will be suing you for all the jobs you don’t already have.” Rupert threatened, he truly misliked this breach of his privacy to no end. But because the girl seemed unskilled and gullible to her supposedly first job he felt he could let her get off easily.
“I’m not deleting any pictures I barely got two” she said with a heavy sigh, her eyes frantically searching for her subject within the grass again not too bothered by his threat. “And I don’t have any job as it is”
“Oh” he amused, getting off of the saddle of his horse to level with her, “are you one of those fans then? How many times do I have to tell you people-“
“What?” Her attention broke from her subjected reptile to the man this time, “a fan? I don’t even know you…”
“Oh right” he scoffed placing his hands by his hips, “surely you don’t.”
“I truly don’t. I was following my subject for today from the forest lands and I ended up here it was an honest mistake” she explained herself as she opened her camera to show him the pictures, they were all reptiles and not…him.
“You were following a snake?” He asked rather confused and somewhat intrigued as to what would bring her to this.
“It’s not a snake, it’s a is a legless lizard. Anguis Fragilis” she corrected the man, ever so casually as if it were the most common of knowledges to attain.
The man just burst into laughter letting go of the horse chain to contain it, his hand on his chest he could find the joke in the name and the scenario extremely comical. “You have got to be kidding me!”
Y/n felt a bit embarrassed as if she’d said the wrong name so she went through it in her head again and she wasn’t, wrong. It was perhaps like college again, info dumping on the wrong set of people who poke fun at peculiar passions. But the man seemed to be too old to be like those immature college kids who mock others so she was left rather confused “what is so funny?” She asked hesitantly, “it’s rather rare and native to this area we don’t come across them in the city…” she trailed off trying to fill in his boastful laughter with something to feel less uncomfortable.
“Oh is it now?” Rupert asked as his laughter subsided and he realised the girl was an enthusiast in a true fashion. He just found the name of the godforsaken reptile to have a double meaning to it, he thought she made it up but when she got awkward and explained further he realised she wasn’t joking. “My apologies, are you new here?”
“Yes Ive actually moved here for research, I’m studying veterinary sciences for PhD… ” she said still feeling a bit self conscious after he’d laughed like that.
“Anus Fragilis huh?” He repeated trying his best to suppress another set of laughter but he failed at it ever so evidently.
“Anguis…er-slow worm.” She cringed as she picked up on the joke that had him loosing his composure like that. Perhaps she judged him to act his age which he looked so fast. “It’s also called slow worm. I lost him regardless, so I’ll get going. Sorry to bother you.”
“No, no hang on a second darling” he said gripping her elbow as she attempted to leave but as she returned to face him again he left it just instantly. “Since you’re already here, allow me to indulge you in a coffee or so? It would be very disappointing if I don’t get to learn more about…” he wanted to say it, the joke. But the awkwardly offended look on her face of feeling small wasn’t worth it so he kept it to himself “slow worms and legless lizards”
“They’re the same.” She briefed him feeling his ignorance, the PhD aspirant did not seem to have time to entertain his indulgence. “Forgive me but I have to go, I’ve walked too far from my car.”
“Well then allow me to drop you?” Rupert offered with his usual charm which didn’t leave to phase a lot.
Not her perhaps, “It’s not that far” she said curtly. Packing her camera equipment in a hurry. “Thanks. And sorry for trespassing.”
Rupert watched as she hastily packed her lenses and the rolls. Just when he thought he could work on himself to not offend people on first impressions, he generally didn’t do so with ladies so perhaps this was a first. “I’m Rupert Campbell Black” He put his hand forward for a handshake, “Sports Minister.” He introduced himself.
She had both her hands full with her books and camera, which she could rearrange back in the bag to accept his handshake but she’d rather not so she just nodded shortly. “Yes, Mr. Rupert, so nice to meet you.” She said with half a smile, then paced away not even waiting for his reply.
“I suppose I’ll see you around?” He said with his usual grin but she was already pacing away back to the path she’d come from.
That is how the two first met. Not her most memorable nor pleasant interaction but surely intriguing for the minister. The next time he met her, late early evening at a cafe. It took a second to recognise her with her head down in a book but there was enough lighting cast on her against the window where she sat. “Slow worm!” He exclaimed as he approached her causing her to avert her attention from the book to him.
“You…” she trailed off however her tone didn’t match the same enthusiasm as his. “Hi.” She said as he gestured to the chair across her on her table, asking if someone was there but she shrugged and nodded “Please, go ahead” she said being polite, internally bracing herself for another awful interaction.
“I was hoping I’d run into you” he told her leaning forward on the table crossing his arms, “turns out, your little bugger is a frequent visitor of the stable sheds back at the estate.”
“That explains yeah” she nodded closing her book, the size of it gigantic and hardcover it made a small thud, “it eats slugs and snails, spiders too…”
“Wonderful aspect” Rupert complimented, under informed on the subject he didn’t know what to say. “Did you get proper observations for your research?”
“Superficially yes” she nodded, “I’ll run into more of those one of these days.”
“You can always just visit my place again…I would be honoured to help out a bright mind.” Rupert offered leaning back in the chair, unbuttoning his blazer.
“That is so kind of you, I’m very sorry for trespassing that day” she said it again, obviously not friendly enough with him to take him up on that offer.
“Well you could make up for it by telling me your name.” He shrugged as his lips formulated a smile.
“Y/n.” She told him. As the conversation progressed, learning more of him, telling him more about her research and the subjects she’d come across so far. For someone in a vastly different field he was such an attentive listener. She’d told him a lot, about the animals, her thesis, her lectures and sessions, being a TA, moving here.
“And what of your friends?” He asked her over his second cup of coffee in the same conversation because he wanted to keep it going.
“I don’t live on campus so I don’t have roommates to be friends with, then I’m a TA but everyone else is a bachelors and third year student. Had I done college here I’d have those friends…I do have friends from college back home but as of now it’s only my professors.” She informed him, very casual with it but as she formulated the picture in his head it seemed to be a rather isolating experience.
“And what do you do for fun around here?” He asked her to see if it was as isolating as he realised.
“Trespass estates.” She joked with a small giggle, but in truth she did absolutely nothing for fun because there wasn’t anything.
“Greatest hobby ever” he joked back. But as she didn’t follow up with another activity he realised that if he pried about it he’d just force her to admit she led a boring and somewhat lonely life. He wasn’t judging her, she was fresh out of college and had to move a whole place and seemed to have no friends here. Well except for him if she’ll have him. “Are you struggling?”
“Of course not. I love my work, I can easily afford rent too it’s not a problem.” She replied honestly, if only financial was all of her struggles.
“Don’t you think you’d save more if you lived on campus?” He questioned unsure of her choice to stay in a boutique flat in one of the most expensive neighbourhoods.
“My father wouldn’t allow it. He’s a bit of a tone deaf classist that way.” She admitted, rather casually.
“Allow?” He repeated, surprised. He didn’t know her precise age but by her educational status and the looks of it someone in their early twenties didn’t need their father’s permission on how to live.
“It’s just a bit complicated, he wants all of his children to take the right step that is work in our family business, his company. I tried, it’s soul draining and very unlike me” she sighed “So I just extended education.”
“To get far from him?” He perceived, perhaps not the way she saw it.
“—To explore my options. I don’t want to disappoint him when I can avoid it.”
“And is this the way to be?” He asked, his tone guarded and expression curious.
“Perhaps.” She replied, but on the inside she was so hyper aware that anywhere farther from the family business as all the way to be. She didn’t want to distanced from her father nor her family, she may not be the golden child but she wanted him to be ever so proud of her even though she didn’t walk on the road he chose for her.
“Your spirit likes the fight doesn’t it?” It was more of an observation than a question.
“I don’t indulge in self awareness that well” She replied with a bemused shrug and he just let out a low laugh that. And that was her first friendship in Rutshire. To Rupert’s likeness the cafe was another one of basil’s side quests but he visited there less frequently given the bar was his primary. Regardless, Rupert got him too. The prime customer and his newest friend, studied there most of the time because she lived close by and Rupert felt drawn to her company.
She had no other and he found her growing to be his favourite one. He fancied the conversations with her so much, in her absence basil teased him about it. This one afternoon, Rupert visited as his usual time, or perhaps y/n’s usual time which he picked up on but she wasn’t there. “The coffee can’t be that good.” Basil said with a small scoff, as he found Rupert with a disappointed expression in the girl’s absence.
“I’m just trying to reduce the alcohol intake” Rupert said nonchalantly, well aware he didn’t the caffeine he’d been consuming just for the conversations with her.
“I wasn’t talking about the coffee” Basil added with a devious grin hinting at the double meaning joke he was referring for.
“Piss off” Rupert rolled his eyes at the man with a heavy sigh of irritation sitting down at the table, rolling up his sleeves and facepalming. “This is her usual time to come and study here” he mentioned.
“Which you don’t let her do.” Basil said, the entire time indulging the poor girl in conversations and spontaneous outing plans. “She’d have to be extraordinarily brilliant to keep up with her courseworks with all the detours you put her up to.”
“She is extraordinarily brilliant.” Rupert briefed him.
“I suppose you’d know.” Basil shrugged leaning against the table where he was sat, “Does she have a boyfriend?”
Seemingly offended at the mere thought of that Rupert’s expression disgusted, “Of course not!”
“Of course not?” Basil repeated surprised with his affirm expression. “So you are sleeping with her.”
“I’m not sleeping with her.” Rupert emphasised on the word ‘not’ and it was probably the tenth time that Bas had asked him that this moment.
“Of course not” Basil humoured him mimicking his tone when he said that.
“I’m not, it isn’t like that with her.” Rupert tried to explain that to his friend who found that to be such a foreign concept. It was a very strangely unknown and unspecific feeling for Rupert himself too.
“You don’t want to sleep with her?” Bas questioned not believing nor understanding the prospect “she’s rather pretty.” besides he’d sleep with anything.
“She isn’t just pretty Bas, she’s beautiful, a bit too much even on the inside.” He paused “She is precious.” Rupert spoke with such genuine passion that basil had to lay off of the joke he was brewing.
“And what of you?” Basil asked, it was something Rupert hadn’t even questioned himself for well not yet anyways.
“What of me?” He answered the question with a question feigning innocence. Before basil could further explain himself, even though well aware that Rupert understood him. The bells of the door jingled announcing upcoming presence in the nearly empty cafe causing the men to turn at the voice.
“Hello-Hello, Gentlemen!” Y/n exclaimed in the most enthusiastic Sunday morning tone possible but it was a cloudy afternoon on a Tuesday. To Rupert she always sounded like a Sunday morning with her little giggles and all the mannerisms but today she seemed way more lifted with spirits.
“Want to bet a tenner she ran into a coyote.” Basil said as she made her way to their table sitting across Rupert whilst basil was still leaning against the table.
“I bet you a twenty its a pine marten.” Rupert said, he picked up on everything from their conversation. This week she was in search of that specific animal from her list or so, he kept track somewhat subconsciously.
“It’s neither” She said with a smile still plastered on her face as she sat her bag down to the side placing her hands on the table. “I’ve got great news, well not great but perhaps good, great to me.” She went in an adjective discourse and shook her head coming back on track “My professor submitted my thesis to this government honorary publications department and I’m getting an in-kind research grant!”
“The government is giving you money?!” Basil matched her enthusiastic tone leaning forward on the table.
“No, no it’s an in kind grant…as in-they present me with an award but the big thing is that I get policy access, lab space, government authorised datasets…” she explained further with her eyes so lit up Rupert wanted to bottle this warmth of emotions he felt in just seeing her happy like this and drink it like water.
“You are getting an award?!” Rupert said with loud earnest passion for her excelling. “Y/n! That is marvellous news!”
“You fucking genius!” Basil added further, giving her a side hug and kissing the top of her head, giving her hair a ruffle as he walked across the cafe, “this calls for a celebration!”
“Thank you” She replied with a toothy smile. Feeling very heart warmed. Then Rupert took both her hands in his, he looked just as lit up as if it was his award.
“My darling, you absolute mastermind. Your mind is a wonder, y/n I am so so proud of you!” He said, he didn’t have to reaffirm or reassure more so because out of everyone she’d come across, Rupert had been so supportive, a subject and felt so unfamiliar yet he’d reassured and let her know it so constantly that she’d always have him to be cheering so hard for her. “You deserved this!”
“Rupert, that is so kind! Thank you, seriously” she replied with a glint in her eyes he could feel coloured by. Just about on time, basil blasted the confetti cracker he happened to have lying around. He turned the open sign to closed at the door of the cafe and returned to the table, slowly she let her hands out of Rupert’s.
“Didn’t have champagne in the cafe but this should do” Basil said as he presented their table with a small cake.
“You didn’t have to close the place” y/n said with a small giggle as she saw the cake, a sign in red jam crossing out the name ‘Einstein’ and Y/n in its place. Classic Bas.
“Oh please love, I deserve this celebration.” Bas said with a dramatic roll of his eyes, any reason to not work was reason enough.
“Right of course since he worked so hard.” Rupert joked clearly forgetting he owed the man in staying the cafe for him to keep it open just in case y/n might come in. They kept congratulating her over and over again as the trio dug into the cake.
“So when exactly is the award function?” Rupert asked, it was going to be event of the week for him more than it was for y/n.
“It’s on this Friday, I get one visitor pass and my father is flying out to attend it!” She said, ebullient. It did irk him somewhat because he’d wanted to see her receive the award but he knew how much her father’s approval meant to her so he was happy in her happiness regardless.
“That is great news, what did he say?” Rupert asked keeping his disappointment for not being able to see her at bay.
“His assistant put me through in the very second call so he must really be impressed, he asked me about the function and he sounded very positive of it.” She told them about the seemingly brief phone call.
“You have to talk to an assistant to get to your fath-“ basil was quickly interjected with a small shove on the leg from Rupert to take a turn in that observation. Rupert didn’t want it to rain her parade, “It’s so nice he’s coming all this way.”
“He’d probably stay a day or two after that you should meet him!” She added, it seemed as if she was somewhat more joyous with the fact that her father was pleased than the actual award to her name. It was a grey line.
“I would be delighted to.” Rupert said, he would be. At least for her sake despite having his internal doubts towards the man.
-
The award function was an extremely formal event, you could barely tell apart the professors from the bureaucrats. Rupert could tell the difference easily though, he simply knew the later group, almost all of them. But he wasn’t there for any of those people. Taking his seat at the round table, next to the faces he knew very well but he was way too focused on the happenings of the stage to indulge in small talk. And then there it was.
The lady of the evening. At least for him, her research dissertation was called out and he recognised it was her turn before they presented her name as well. White shirt with several pins of animal welfare and her educational institution. Simplicity and grace, ever so precious. As she received the medal and the award plate Rupert clapped perhaps the loudest, standing up even. The stage wasn’t so far but she didn’t spot him because her eyes were searching another direction and the procession was short lived before she could avert her gaze.
Finally after all the names were done, she was free from the stage back to the softly mingling crowd. “There she is!” The enthusiastic exclamation caught her attention from her lost trance.
Adhering the man in suit with flowers in his hand, surprised and radiated expression, “Rupert?!” She was baffled and so relieved she didn’t understand the later feeling. She rushed to him, their distance getting closer as he opened his arms for her.
“Congratulations, darling” he said bringing her into a tight embrace both of them so joyous, hers was rather infectious. He easily lifted her from the ground out of glee, kissing the side of her face. “You were wonderful out there!”
“When did you get here?” She asked once he put him down and she pulled away yet kept her arms entangled with him. Enough to just see his face, “also how?”
“I’m an MP you thought I wouldn’t be able to get into a government function?” He amused, surprised she did not see it coming, perhaps she wasn’t expecting him but her reaction seemed as if she would rather prefer him. “I got here an hour before yours was announced.”
“I am so glad you made it!” She told him, the effort was so heartwarming to her. He’d came to an event which wasn’t initially his, making more arrangements to even get in for her. She didn’t want to voice it because he’d always reply with such a strange concern as if being loved more than to be sustained wasn’t optional, she wasn’t used to this concern nor sentimental support.
Rupert could tell her kind, wide eyes in a sort of turmoil of something she couldn’t figure out by even herself but he didn’t pry on it, “where is your father?” He asked looking around shortly.
“Oh he…he isn’t here. He could not make it.” She said with a small shrug, that is how casual his absence was to him.
“—How come?”
“Probably his flight, I forgot to notify him about our time zones or so. If he were skipping he would’ve called prior” there was a small hope tugging at her heartstrings trying to believe this wasn’t like the other times. “He would be here anyways, would just be missing the event.”
“I suppose” he replied curtly, being presented with two choices of either being truthful with her of her father’s harsh and uncaring constitution or hold the hope she held out for the man with her. None of the two seemed befitting to him. As the event progressed she introduced him to some of her professors and people that she worked with, he did the same with the other officials that he knew of. She grew tired of the socialising and asked him if they could leave the event, she wasn’t as tired as she was growing disappointed of a man who wasn’t even in the room.
Even though Rupert and her came to the event from a different place and were going back in difference directions it was a given that they leave together. At least to him it was, she’d just informed him she felt like leaving and he stood up in an instant. He was dropping her back to her place because she didn’t driver herself to the function. The two were walking, to his car in the chilly night with his suit blazer draped over her shoulders, flowers and his hand in her hand, he carried her award with her bag for her and a light hearted conversation. Serenity which ran away once they came across a pay phone call booth. “Do you mind if I go make a call?” She asked him, he nodded but he was well aware who that call was intended for.
Rupert leant against the phone stand with the small door of it open, close to her as she pressed the numbers inserting coins. Anxiously awaiting the other line to answer she replied when a voice answered “Hello, this is me, y/n. Did dad leave yet?” She asked, he hated to see her in such distress and was afraid the conversation ought to make it worse. “What? What do you mean—the event, my award he was going to be here for…like he promised.” Rupert could only hear y/n’s side of the conversation but he could pan out the other side, which wasn’t even her father just some office assistant. “Just let me talk to him…please…two minutes perhaps?” It was difficult to watch, begging for the scraps of her father to an assistant. After a few moments the call ended and she couldn’t even stomach the courtesy of a goodbye.
As she walked out of the booth he searched for her to meet his eyes, narrate to him the happenings of the call. “His plans changed” she said but nothing further. He could tell she didn’t feel like talking so he stopped walking and also held her back from the track, pulled her into his arms. Resting his chin on top of her head as he held her, enlacing his arms around her tightly. He could definitely stay like this for rest of the night. Even life? A small voice suggested and he quickly dismissed it as he was pulled back to her, she didn’t feel relaxed in his arms even though she hugged him back and her face so steady, he felt his shirt getting sprinkled with dampness, as if in smallest portions.
“Y/n…” he trailed off pulling away to confirm if she was crying, “are you crying?” He asked as she lowered her face so he couldn’t see it but he leant in her direction to see. “Hey..hey, it’s alright” he pulled her back to him letting her weep onto his chest as he ran a hand through her hair.
“I don’t understand why I feel so bad” she said through her tears, holding onto him like she would fall apart even more if he let go. Perhaps she would.
“It is alright darling just let it out” Rupert said as he continued to sooth her in his arms, trying to provide a present, grounding support.
“He promised me…” she trailed off crying harder, all those events where her father should’ve been present but wasn’t came back to her. Fancy dress competitions at school where the chauffeur that dropped her off would have to attend the show out of pity for the child, birthdays where he would have to be bothered a multiple times to come attend cake-cutting, evidently sad over a test but he simply couldn’t be bothered to ask his daughter if she was alright. So much life spent in I-promise-you-I’ll-be-there. So much disappointment and you’d think one would learn. “I just feel stupid-I thought this time would be different.”
Rupert held her face in his hands “look at me” he said forcing her to meet his gaze. “You are not stupid for what you feel, you are not at fault for someone so detached and irresponsible towards their own child.” He spoke whilst wiping her tears, “he will forever be an incomplete, deficient man for the kind of father that he is. But you my love are beyond him and how he treats you, you’re brilliant and kind and funny and you have a heart big enough to hold a planet. You are going to go so far, your suffrage of his conditional love and inflicted anguish will heal for the better. I promise you that.”
This was a better hope than the one she was always latched onto, hoping that he would change, come around for once. But letting go and a promise for a softer tomorrow seemed so much more beautiful. “But I am so tired”
“You have been so gentle through so much…you must have been tired too. But persevering is constant and you, you always do. There is so much life within you, those around you are infected with it, I know I am.” He confessed, he hadn’t voiced it out especially not like this even to himself but she was more than a lively feeling, more than a chase or a rush for attraction. No. She was life.
Such admission made her heart flutter, she felt the drumming in her ears and it wasn’t the anxious kind. This felt like a sunrise after a good dream, but she had no words for it because her eyes spoke enough and so did his that wandered down to her lips and back to his. Reciprocating the course of gaze when he leant forward, face so close she didn’t move even by the slightest tired of awaiting him to inch to the closest extent she caught a soft grip of his shirt, lowering her gaze right when he crashed his lips onto hers. She kissed him back and it felt heavenly, as the kiss deepened he felt like he had reached there.
Smiles glued to their faces once they pulled away to catch a breath, tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear he said “you are not the only one who’s won something tonight.”
“That means I’ve won twice” she said with a small giggle adding to his exaggeration that kissing her felt like a win.
“That isn’t the same.” Rupert corrected her, going in to kiss her again with a slower passion, taking his time letting the sweetness of it linger “for me this is centuries worth of wins.”
—
IVE SO MUCH MORE OF HIS STUFF COMING SOMEBODY SEDATE ME…next his enemies to lovers let me know if you want to be tagged
PLEASE comments are my fuel I am HUNGRY for validation please if you like this please please let me know
#rupert campbell black#rupert campbell black x reader#Rupert Campbell black x you#rupert Campbell black x fem!reader#rivals disney+#rivals#rupert Campbell black fanfiction#rupert Campbell x reader#rupert x taggie#taggie x rupert#declan o’hara x reader#declan o’hara#tony baddingham
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hey idk if this is creepy or not 😭 I'm really new to tblr so I tried to respond kindly, but I found this really weird (I'm a m1nor btw for context)
idk I found this weird and maybe their intentions weren't bad? maybe I'm just overreacting? I'm so so sorry for wasting ur time if I am
i'm going to be so brutally honest, if you can read this and think "maybe their intentions weren't bad" after confessing to dating a minor in spite of how illegal. what the hell- dude
looking through their blog it is all about the movie "lolita", a film adaptation from the book lolita. a book about hebephilia meaning "feeling attraction to 11-14 year olds"
upon translating his posts he talks about loving "small bodies"
how he would want to find a girl who's broken so she'll be dependant on him
which makes me so SCARED FOR THIS GIRLFRIEND HE SAYS HE HAS
good god-
thank you so much for bringing this to my attention
and know this. you will find men like this all over the place
if something feels wrong, it probably is
be careful when a guy DMs you first
everyone please block — @giostisapolias
(i might email tumblr's safety team themselves after that one cos god damn reading through their blog made me feel ill)
#whoop whoop!!#34t1ng d1s0rd3r#3d f4st#tw 3d vent#tw ana bløg#3d not sheeran#tw ana rant#ed but not ed sheeran#tw ed ana#light as a feather#@na motivation
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The battle of the Mothers of Victory (handle with caution)
Disclaimer: This is not a prediction or a theory, it's my thought process. This is how I roll at first and then I rule out stuff as I see fit, so BEAR WITH ME.
So, first thing that came to mind was:
"OMFG! That tells me all I need to know, that's Tiff’s wedding. Syd and Donna sitting at the same table in a family event. I am losing my mind IF syd is Carmy's +1. Maybe they are not showing him at the wedding bc it would be too obvious if they spoiled rn that she was his +1. I’m pretty sure Syd was his +1... OMFGGGG!
BUT, I said IF. FML
She may have attended the wedding with Luca.
FUCK!”
And then the overthinker in me took over and ... it didn't go that well.
What we know
is that C was there, Carmy was there and Syd was there too. We don't know about Luca, that's the wildcard.
And we also know that Shapiro's subplot was already closed and archived long before Syd even got invited to the wedding, that's why she's there, so YAY! 💅 and we also know there was a fight between Carmy and C on the street at Syd’s place:
What we don't know
is the ORDER of the scenes.
IK it looks like Syd and Carmy at the wedding pissed C off and someway somehow C ended up knocking on Syd’s door and Carmy got the door and then C stormed out and Carmy went after her and they had a fight.
Remember my theory about → territory? Well, no wonder the C person stormed out IF that was the case... LOL!
Wishlist
I hope that the order of the scenes was precisely that one. BUT the truth is we don't know. The teaser could be a red herring. IDK... The wedding seems too early in the season to be such a Sydcarmy catalytic event.
But we could be right!🤩
I wish the footage of that fight, which I went over 1000 times already and couldn't see WTF were they wearing, was better bc I could confirm the potential chronological order based on their outfits.
IF the fight happened after the wedding we’re golden!
Moreover: If that's the case WTH was Carmy doing at Syd's place after the wedding? THAT'S THE MEAT OF THE MATTER.
Too good to be true...
Let's calm the fuck down.
Having said that, I'm not complaining…
😍😍😍😍
#MANIFESTING
Bonus track: Maybe if we all think about this together I can calm the fuck down faster. LMK what you, chefs, think.
Are you pessimistic or optimistic? Scratch that! That's the WRONG QUESTION. The right one is: What do you think Storer would do? (Argument pls)
I'm all eyes👀
Related notes:
#the bear#sydcarmy#sydcarmy meta#gingerpovs#sydney adamu#donna berzatto#the battle of the mothers of Victory#carmy berzatto#the bear fx#carmy x sydney#carmen berzatto#the bear hulu#syd x carmen#claire who?#the bear season 4#the bear season 4 preview#the bear meta#i bet its not what we think but better
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why does no one make gif sets of the things i specifically want gifs of gdi. my free time is already consumed by games and "art" i don't know where to squeeze in gif making too. full time jobs are a scam
#how tf is it so hard to find ARCANE'S FIGHT SCENES#also could not find many dark beginnings or shadowgens ones i want either#maybe i'm looking in the wrong places idk
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"It's just you now. Take care of mother."
i have the normal amount of emotions about them (lying) <3
#a redraw but also not really cus i ended up tracing a lot from the old one hfldsjdfs#it was only supposed to be for reference but i ended up keep messing w it instead of redrawing it proper......#feel like i got his expression down better in the old one; looks more strained/ hearbroken like i feel#but thats fine#my art#my ocs#oc: liam hawke#i'm still not sure if liam or varric is the one who deals the killing blow#love both the thought of liam having his own sisters blood on his hands and never being able to wash it off fully#or his (future) best friend saving him that fate but now having that stand between them#cus liam would be grateful for it but part of him would always remember that and hold it against him#(both options also make the bartrand encounter crunchy in slightly different ways)#either way in that moment he kind of hates varric for even just being there. and fenris too#(though tbh im not sure how realistic it would be for him to take sb else except bethy and varric down into the deep roads)#((so maybe in canon fen wouldnt be there idk. havent decided this yet either))#logically he knows its not fair ofc but it just feels like an invasion of privacy. it feels Wrong.#they have no place in this they shouldnt have been there they shouldnt have been part of it they shouldnt have seen him like this#but its sth that binds them too#the rest of the trek is miserable and awkward for all of them in any case#but yeah.#idk if they would be able to bury her down here properly so maybe they end up doing it via lava?#theyre not leaving her body out in the open to rot and/or become food for darkspawn or spiders thats for sure
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what is it with the aro community basically reinventing amatornomativity but including (some of) us this time. acting like QPRs are the solution to your problems and obviously theyre more meaningful and important than friendships and what do you mean you don't want a platonic life partner? well if you're "just friends" they're gonna leave you for their romantic relationship eventually — no, no, you can't mean that, "best friend" is either just the same thing as a QPR or not good enough to stay in your life forever. you don't like how you probably won't ever be able to have kids because who's going to let a single trans man adopt a child, and even if they did how would you support them, and no for the last time i don't want to marry anyone even platonically. i do not want a partner ever. ever.
but don't you know that all of us hate amatonormativity? but we're fine with it when we're included. oh and don't you know aros can date too? did you know? did you know you can date too?
you have problems? society isn't structured for you? you have to learn to navigate socially and legally in a world that's built for couples and that's a very distressing experience and you're invisible if you don't loudly proclaim your aromanticism after every room you walk in — but we're gonna keep arguing about shipping. what do you mean you have more problems than people being stupid in fandom? what, is the one aroace character who got "confirmed" off-screen and never mentioned outside of that at all not good enough for you? that doesn't actually change anything for you societally?
but you surely want a QPR. it's totally not just us forcing some watered-down romance on you after you said you didn't want it (but did you know aros can date too? surely you didn't forget that. aros can still love and we hate that you're implying they can't). all of your problems with society hating you for your singleness and aro-ness would be solved if you just got a partner — no, a platonic one, why would you assume otherwise? this is nothing like telling a gay man to just suck it up and marry a woman. see, that would be homophobic, but you? didn't you know that aros can still date?
#aromantic#aro#amatonormativity#sorry this is very much a rant bc tbh i don't really know how to word it in a way that isn't one#idk its just a very isolating experience being aro when its so hard to find other people who are too#(you can't just casually drop a ''my boyfriend'' the way you would if you were gay)#and even the people i do know irl are a lot closer to the alloro side of the aro spectrum than me#or more amenable to platonic partners or qprs or whatever#idk i hope this doesnt come off like I'm hating on the aro people who do want to date or have any kind of partnership#thats not what I'm saying and i hope thatd be clear but you can never be sure#just wish there was more (or‚ yk‚ any at all) political advocacy for aromantic issues#like the societal structures that benefit couples thing i mentioned. let it be possible to have a family as a single parent#that would help me obv but also other people who are just divorced or widowed too#maybe I'm looking in the wrong places to find that sort of thing#but you can find asexual advocacy groups and stuff#working for their political issues#and obv theres tons of groups for gay and trans people#i just havent been able to find anybody doing anything similar for aromantic people#o.
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i literally saw an ad written "white man in his 50s looking for a thin, black woman in her 40s" and i'm shocket
#imagine dating people based on their race lmao fetichization is honestly disgusting#i thought this was smth only usamericans did bc we brazilians date every ethnicity and our own and nobody really cares about that#but i guess i was wrong lmao#i mean maybe this dude is an usamerican lmao who know#also ofc it's a white man. and ofc she has to be thin.#but the fact he printed it and put it on walls is wild to me#hope one black woman pretends to be interested in him and put him in his place#fetichizing races i wrong!!!!!#tio morcego tá chokito#usamericans literally make tags like “black woman white man” “latina woman black man” “white woman asian man” and i honestly#think they're hilarious for that bc when i see interracial couples i couldn't care less#it's like monoracial couples to me#but i get that interracial relationships was prohibited in the us until the 60s (i think) so it's smth “new” to them#meanwhile in brazil interracial relationshops existed since 1500 lol#i'm not complaining about the tags i just think it's funny#like “wooow look she's russian and he's nigerian” idk smth like that#also why don't i see any same sex couples using these tags? maybe they're more like us and don't care? lmao#if i ever get a boyfriend who's not ethnically italian like me or not white either you guys won't know about it#unless i want to complain about the racism he faces or smth#tio morcego tá tagarela
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Why does no one talk about how painful sleep paralysis is?? All the advice i've ever heard always seems to revolve around gradually trying to move, but whenever i have an episode, trying (and failing) to even begin the process of slightly twitching my fingertips makes my whole arm feel like it's being electrocuted. It never works. Even the very ends of my fingers stay completely still, no matter how long i try for, so it's not even worth all that pain anyway. But i don't hear many people talking about having this issue too; everyone focuses on what they can see or hear, rather than how it feels and what to do if it feels bad. It can't just be me who experiences it like this, right??? I refuse to accept that I'm on my own with this lmao-
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Still unbelievably annoyed at my good friend Cecil Scott for not actually bothering to know anything about Ferrol when he wrote that story. Literally I feel like Ferrol in the late 1700s is the ideal place to talk about the decline and fall of the Spanish sea empire which I feel like he would love to talk about
#then again it's not like forester could have a complex and interesting opinion on spain even if he tried so maybe it's good he didn't#i'm just pissed off i started writing that fic and saw all the stuff he could have drawn on and just.....grrr#ferrol is so fascinating to me in like kind of a morbid fascination way. love a very planned city that falls into decline#i think it's probably different now it seems more commercial but looking at old maps of it and the architecture and stuff#and the contrast with a coruña as the place for normal commerce and traffic versus ferrol as restricted military only#it's possible that i am also completely wrong i have never been but it feels super interesting as a place looking at sources on it#from the time period#idk man. just like. what if hornblower was good#perce rambles#percy yells at cecil scott
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spouse and I have started a Twin Peaks rewatch and I don’t know exactly how to put this without sounding boomer-y, but I don’t think anything like Twin Peaks could get made today simply because I don't think any studios are willing to invest money in something that weird and offbeat in 2023. and that's not to say that there aren't good shows still being made - this blogger will advocate for Better Call Saul as some of the best tragic storytelling of the last ~20 years - but that the economic conditions (read: unfettered capitalism) and weird resurgent social-conservatism/generally sanitized and message-focused media environment of the 2010s and 2020s have utterly erased any possibility for something like Twin Peaks to get made with major studio support. and something about that makes me profoundly sad.
and this reminds me of a conversation we had a month or so back about the band Ween and how somehow they got a major label record deal with Elektra after two extremely weird and hit-or-miss lo-fi albums filled with some genuinely egregious, offensive songs alongside flashes of potential, and then went on to use that major label cash to make some incredibly beautiful music (alongside plenty more weird, offensive, and maybe indefensible music). all this is to say that I think there was something really unique about the late 80s/early 90s cultural moment that had major labels and studios investing tons of money in weird and often genuinely unpalatable shows and bands and filmmakers in an effort to chase the cultural zeitgeist - let's remind ourselves that Nirvana's first demo was a song about masturbation called Spank Thru - and I was only alive for the very tail end of that cultural moment which died sometime in the early 21st century but sometimes I can't help but feel a sense of loss
#like even a my chemical romance or coheed and cambria couldn't get their start today much less a ween or nirvana#or maybe i'm wrong about all of this and i'm just not looking in the right places idk
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Every time you draw Martin Blackwood with facial hair an angel gets it's wings
#LIKE idk maybe I'm looking in the wrong places but it's sooo rare for me to see#and every time I do it's like seeing a unicorn in the wild#I love all martins but v masc martin has a special place in my heart....I'm like wow have you heard abt men. we should talk abt them more#milk talks tma#tma
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#re: previous reblog: this is also why i don't like Anticapitalist Onboarding Rhetoric that borrows the narrative tropes of Grand Conspiracy#sorry but genuine systemic analysis is fundamentally incompatible with the image of a Secret Room full of malicious cackling puppetmasters#like is that not the WHOLE POINT..? that there are conditions under which Bad Things can perpetuate themselves absent Bad Actors..?#(like we could evaporate all Racist People with an anti racism laser tomorrow but b/c of current inequalities in income housing school etc#without actual wealth redistribution that won't actually FIX the inequality because it's entrenched enough to have become self sustaining)#idk maybe it just exists disproportionately where i've been looking but i feel like i'm seeing a huge upswing over this past year#in people who act as if the only two narratives are 'Everything Wrong is Your Own Fault' or 'Someone is Fucking With You on Purpose'#& i've felt like a crazy person for a while shouting about how leaning into the rhetoric & mentality of the second one is NOT HARMLESS#just because you point it at some person/people too powerful for you to really materially do harm to.#(introducing it under those parameters alone doesn't domesticate it! doesn't make it Safe to keep with you in your brain house!)#like i didnt Really Not Enjoy the gleeful countdowns of 'only x hrs of air left in that submarine lol' b/c of my deep love for billionaires#but i was struck by how many selfdescribed leftists really do seem to want to act as the agents of an equitable redistribution of suffering#& that just...doesn't ever lead anyone to good places. & it feels insane that i have to say that lol. but i'm right. & it doesn't.
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social interaction is so weird. I don't understand it.
at my birthday party yesterday, I just sort of sat there. and watched and listened. and occasionally responded to something someone said. my brother and my friend did most of the talking. it's easy for them, they just know what to say and/or they don't care how they seem to others. they just talked to everyone the whole time.
I don't know, it just feels pointless. I want to like it, I really do, but when there's more than maybe 2 or 3 people (maybe 4, depending who it is) I just feel like an animal trapped in a cage. it feels really bad. it's not fun, it's just stressful. even when I like everyone there and everything is completely fine.
and when everyone leaves I'm just so relieved. I always want to talk to people more, I miss the times when I saw my friends more often, but when I do see them I just want to leave. like, I don't know what to do about it. I did all the things my therapist told me when I was in therapy but it changed nothing. it doesn't feel like I have social anxiety (though yeah okay that too - but it's better now with meds), it's like they're speaking a different language that's sort of similar but I can't quite understand it. I really want to and I try to pretend I do but I can't and it sucks.
like, my therapist would always tell me I can do it, there's no reason to be afraid of social situations because I'm really good at them actually. but no, I was good at therapy because it was a short period of time, I knew the rules and what was expected of me, I knew the only other person there, and I just. lied all the time about everything so she wouldn't be angry with me. I was so afraid she'd think I'm just wrong that I still had to pretend I'm normal.
#I complain about this every time#but just. what do you do about it#practice never made it better. actually it made it worse because I was always exhausted from being around people so much#like when I was going to class every day and practicing everything my therapist said. didn't help. just made me even more tired#I don't know#at one point today I got so overwhelmed that I just thought right this isn't working let's just pretend to be eliot. I don't even know what#that means but I just. idk. being me doesn't work it's just not good enough#it's possible that I really am just autistic. I don't want to say that because I don't have a diagnosis but. idk I guess that's how it feels#I feel so out of place. I had to try so hard not to go get one of my dolls and brush their hair to calm myself down#but that'd be weird so I can't do that#so I just sit there and wait until it's over. and maybe occasionally look at some gifs on my phone. look it's okay my fictional people are#still in there I can still pretend I'm with them!#what the fuck is wrong with me?#personal
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Taking care of mental health should not be this expensive. The rates for getting therapy are enough for a person to need therapy lol
#maybe I'm looking in the wrong places but is it??? normal????? for a single 50 min session to be over $200?#that's absurd. i mean— ok yes they should get paid well but holy cow.#but there's no way i can have multiple sessions at that expense. and if i can't have multiple idk what the point would be?#ain't nothin' getting fixed in 50 minutes lol ugh#merri grumbles
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ok i'm just wondering, is eye contact like a real thing? is it actually expected and normal for people to look into people's eyes as they talk? just like on the everyday?? because i honestly can't fathom...like every time i talk to someone i don't know where to look, and if i try to make eye contact, it only lasts for a couple seconds and then i have to keep looking around elsewhere. do people ever actually feel comfortable making eye contact in everyday situations?
#/genuine question#i'm really just curious tbh#because i was always told growing up that it was polite to look at someone while talking to them#but i never quite like casual eye contact and looking at other places on someone's face feels wrong when i can feel them looking at me#so a lot of the time i just switch my focus around a lot and pretend to be looking at something for other reasons?#idk#i mean i like looking at people's faces but just not while they're loking at me?#which maybe sounds creepy idk but i like seeing people#it's just a bit anxiety inducing the other way around ig#idk man existing is weird 😭
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