#maybe i’m alone in thinking this idk
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todd is almost always extremely soft, but i headcanon that he’s soft except for during times when people he cares for are distressed. not that i condone violence or anything, but mr. perry best be glad he and todd weren’t in much proximity to one another after neil’s death
#i can just see him slamming his fist into mr perry#especially during that point of the movie where he’s come SO MUCH out of his shell#like yes todd is soft but i also think it would make sense for him to have intense periods of rage#once the sadness subsides#maybe i’m alone in thinking this idk#not as much for himself but anger for his friends’ sakes???#todd anderson#dps#dead poets society#dead poets headcanons#dps headcanons#dead poets fandom#dps fandom#dps boys#neil perry
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It was Maid Day today yesterday a week ago so I got struck by inspiration to draw the worsties, and it ran away from me into a whole AU where they’re coworkers at a maid cafe. She’s a med student & this is just a part time job, and this is his depression job while he gets his life back together. He needs something he can be workaholic about to forget what it’s like having a personal life and personal issues. He’s actually the accountant, but the new hire janitor (Izutsumi) doesn’t show up for half her shifts and is a sloppy worker, so he gets the extra work of doing her job on top of his because he’s undervalued and overworked. Of course, janitors also have an uniform to keep the aesthetic cohesion as they go about cleaning the place, of course.
Senshi’s the part time cook you only see slivers off, he’s kind and warm when you do see him and have a chat but most shifts he’s in and out the kitchen without a trace. Laios and Falin are regulars because Falin and Marcille are besties & in the same med school, Laios accompanies Falin as she visits her friend at work and gets hooked on the food. Chilchuck has to remind Marcille to work instead of chatting with Falin for an hour, and next thing he knows she’s distracting him from work too. That’s it that’s the AU. Inspired by this idol AU fanart a bit <3
This was not meant to be birthday gift but well…… Happy bday Chil!!!
Read from left to right
#Dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#Chilchuck tims#marcille donato#spoilers#dunmeshi au#Maid cafe au#Marchil#Workwife marchil save me. Kabuholm in the background bc i said so lmao#i think people forget marci n chil are coworker worsties first and foremost. Ppl should capitalize on it more#The orange hair swag that makes him look like a marketable idol more#You can tell idk how to draw maid outfits. I hate those hats sm I will miku miku beam them out of existence#Marcille does change her hairstyle everyday btw#they don’t get back together btw she goes you haven’t talked to me in 4 years and he immediately goes YOU haven’t talked to ME in 4–#i mean ehem i’m sorry haha… while Marcille is like 4 years?! 4 years…#Mei only did it bc Fler has been getting jittery again kept sighing#I wanted to draw Chil with a car key at his belt but it wasn’t meant to be#idk if marchil ever gets together in this one it’s an eternal summer coworker with tension situationship au#romance is when you slowly deteriorate his work ethics so he starts skipping on his worktime to spend it at the front messing around w you#once he’s blessedly in the office and he hears this huge crash and the Marci just goes ‘…… Chiiiiiil?’ cue sigh and having to repair#the coffee machine. So many lil comics i couldn’t indulge myself to draw save me#shoutout to the time as a cashier in training at a convenience store I was left by my coworker who was supposed to wash the greasy chicken#oven but didn’t so I had to clean it for the first time myself while I was alone in the store and was also supposed to man the front#Shoutout to my convenience store’s accountant helping us with cashier duties often when there was less job to do ty ty#Understaffed struggles are so real#People also call Chil a manager because the boss is most often away so he just does everything#There’s no union but maybe one day he’ll get to overthrow the boss idk#The pay IS good at least#Modern au
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I think something that often gets overlooked about the Lonely is that it isn’t just the fear of being rejected, abandoned, and unloved.
It is that, but it’s also the heavy sense of dread that settles in your bones when you realize that whatever danger you’re in, you have to deal with it on your own. It’s the realization that no one is around to hear you scream and that no one is coming to save you. It’s the feeling of calling emergency services (911, 119, etc.) and asking the operator when help is coming, only to be told that no one is coming, because they’re all tied up on other calls right now, so it may be another hour or so before anyone gets to you. It’s the visceral terror you feel when you finally realize that the help you need is never going to come, or if it does, they won’t be there until it’s already too late for you. It’s realizing that you’ll never see your loved ones again, and wondering if anyone will ever find your body, if anyone is going to care that you’re gone, if anyone is ever going to find out what happened to you, if anyone is even going to realize that you’re dead.
#tma#the magnus archives#tma lonely#the lonely tma#the lonely#cw death#cw isolation#cw depressive thoughts#ask to tag#i feel like the lonely gets sort of watered down a lot and tends to be portrayed as depressing or tragic but not really horrific#and it’s not necessarily bad but i just think there tends to be a lot of missed potential in depictions/descriptions of the lonely#maybe it’s just bc i’m schizoid af so i don’t really think of isolation the same way that other people do#in the sense that a lot of the things other people find unpleasant/scary about being alone….just sound kind of nice to me tbh#idk.
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thinking about Bodkin again bc I mean,,, ALL THE SYMBOLISM OHHHHHGH. i NEED some tumblr film analysis hobbyists to watch this show and tell me all the themes n such
#yes I’m making all these posts in a row#it’s bc I’m obsessed atm#mypost#Bodkin#bodkin netflix#PLEASSEEEEE#WHY DID THE PAPER MACHE HEAD LOOK LIKE GILBERT#CAN WE HAVE AN IN-DEPTH CONVERSATION ABOUT EVERYTHING ABOUT GILBERT BEING FORCED TO SWALLOW/CHOKE ON HIS WORDS (recorder) BUT THAT SOUND—HIS#STORY (HIS pov. however ‘abstract’ and detatched from consequence it may have been) BEING WHAT CATCHES EMMY AND DOVEs ATTENTION TO SAVE HIM#. LIKE#OUGHHHHHWJEHQIHSJSBWJXNAJSNNQJZNWHXJWHXJEBXNDUSBJS#AND THE WOLF IMAGERY PLS SOMEONE TELL ME ABOUT THAT#IS THERE MORE THAN THE SURFACE? what do I not understand? as im writing this out am thinking: ok its cause dove is a lone wolf#WAITTTT WAIT OMFG AND when she remembers that her mom told her to howl when she was lost��� bc wolves actually have family and I’m p sure the#lone wolf thing is a myth… after she realizes that she’s not alone and she can choose to interact#GOD GRAHHHHH IM GOING CRAZY OVER THIS SHOW#other things I’m thinking abt (will maybe make a post abt?)#OUGH YEAH OK dove symbolism: wolf/lone wolf. sunglasses/shielding herself (OUGH AND SHE PICKS UP THAT XTRA LAYER OF DEFENCE WHEN SHE COMES#BACK TO HOMELAND/familiar space… bc she’s vulnerable to her past here…. hrahhh#. also LMFAO when she calls the sheriff a piggy#hrmmmmm aughhh I want to dissect Gilbert and Seamus’s friendship oughhh#ok wait even more on Dove: I want to dig into when she calls Emmy Emmy vs Sizargd (will have to look up the spelling whoops) —was it always#blatant manipulation? how much of it is a reflection of what she is? hrmmmm there’s so much there I think#another Q: why did Emmy call the tech guy Shitpants again at the end? ik there were the stakes I just wanna dig into her character more. why#would she say the shitpants thing instead of manipulating him in other ways? (not saying her was was unreasonable at all lol-j wanna dig#into her character.#OH prob something abt the whole ‘her needing to release her anger’ thing? idk ahh I want to analyze her more
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Spoilers for Fontaine Act 5 and previous archon quests!
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What's really sad about Furina is that she has been seeing what is a god in human terms. She sees them as perfect, unmovable deities rather than beings who do make mistakes, therefore trying to become 'perfect', lovable, and unmoving herself.
She hasn't had the chance to actually meet/get to know the archons like the traveler has, hence why she has such a naive worldview of what is a 'god', while we know them as imperfect (and sometimes silly) beings.
The archons we've got to meet have had little knowledge on how humans work, made mistakes that would affect their own living, have made enough bad decisions to start a civil war, have had their own people doubt and hurt them, have cried, have tried to lay low, have been beaten, have felt heartache, etc etc...
This whole demanding act that Furina put upon herself was sometimes unnecessarily harsh on herself, because archons are more human than she thinks.
#genshin spoilers#fontaine archon quest#fontaine archon quest spoilers#fontaine spoilers#archon quest spoilers#genshin#genshin impact#genshin furina#furina#gi furina#when our sweet peach said that her crying was her hydro overflowing...#i was thinking 'oh bby girl venti would cry over not being served alcohol. it's fine to be stressed'#thoughts#idk if people are missing the point of this post?#I’m saying Furina’s worldview is inexperienced and she therefore didn’t give herself enough leeway that other gods would give themselves#It is absolutely understandable how she acted and she is a perfectionist as well as somewhat of a people pleaser#She was put into a position without divinity with little knowledge and so much stress was put onto her since she didn’t know how to act#I’m saying if she did know how other gods acted maybe she would’ve allowed herself to cry publicly and maybe take alone time a bit more#But that’s the thing- she didn’t#That’s what’s so sad. Her perfectionism and people pleasing was doubled and she wouldn’t allow herself to be her view of ‘ungodly’#or even allow her people to eventually accept their god as maybe a little bit meek. They certainly put more pressure and anxiety on her.#I feel for Furina. It definitely wasn’t her fault. She is who she is and any human w inexperience would behave the same way
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No one is asking you to like cops IRL, not even the show. If you look at Arcane and what you see is copaganda, if you look at Cait and only see PoLiCe OfFiCeR and not the character, the problem is YOU.
1. I never said anyone asked me to like cops irl
2. I know that’s what I said.
#I was gonna make a long drawn out response specifying or whatever but the post is very self explanatory#idk if I see it as a#��problem’ but like yeah that’s literally the point of the post#I already have to extend Grace sympathy and understanding to police irl being black in the south#I’m not doing it for a show I like for a character I tolerate#like the surface level analysis I do of Caitlyn has her as a well written character#I don’t care to delve any deeper than that unless it’s about how she interacts with or shapes characters I like lmao#And the characters I like are doing thing that I wish I could see more of irl#I think I made a post a while ago about how fandom as escapism for me is difficult bc the way I interact w/ media is shaped by my real life#and since fandom is majority white they just don’t get it and refuse to#this might be part of that#like idc about the redeemed bigot there’s enough of those in my spaces already#I’m sure they’re very sad and important and educational for you but I don’t care#one more time for anon I ME THATS JUST ME ALONE NOBODY ELSE JUST ME! I don’t care#uhm in conclusion cry about it?#WAAAAIT#I also never said arcane was copaganda#I quite literally specified my issues are w/ fans who can’t spare a single thought for a black characters that’s not ‘he’s so obsessed with#sad white girl 5’#again idc enough to think about the enforcers beyond what they mean to ekko or Mel#depends on s2 but so far#well now I’m thinking do I think it’s copaganda?#from a character standpoint maybe not but like any show that’s wants me to believe or root for a grown ass woman who didn’t realize cops#were bad. like there’s a lot of y’all irl but it’s a show yknow?#they diiid have that Caitlyn ekko fight and ekko was clearly correct but again the results of that are more fandom bias#um idk I’ll have to rewatch maybe! but I#did nooot say arcane was copaganda in the og post like I said I quite literally spoke on how I felt#oh but the way vi broke up that fight#hem hawwwww#conclusion vi wants to be copaganda for coochie but her common sense stops her from being completely stupid 💔 sad 💔
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gonna be honest here: please dni if you ship narumayo or kayworth
if you like those ships, good for you i guess but i hate the age gaps so fucking much. a 24 year old should not be in a romantic relationship with a 17 year old let alone a 26 year old
i could understand maya and phoenix at 28 and 35 if it wasn’t for the fact that phoenix knew maya when she was a minor. like it’s better than og trilogy maya and phoenix but i’m still a bit iffy about it
i just kinda. had to get this off my chest. i really dislike these ships.
#like. i espexially hate kayworth tbh. 26 and 17?????? who in their right mind??????#i already think maya and phoenix act like siblings let alone kay and edgeworth#idk. ship and let ship i guess but i hate these ships i hate these ships i hate these ships#maybe it’s just triggering to me :’))))))#i havent been groomed or anything but something about these ships awaken an extreme discomfort and hate inside me#‘muhh the game alludes to maya and phoenix being a couple bc of pearl’ DHURKE TALKED ABOUT TRUCY BEING WIFE MATERAL FOR APOLLO SHUT UP#just. dni ig idk i know this might seem hateful but i really have to get this off my chest. i’m so uncomfortable.#tuna stuff#ace attorney#ace attuna#dni
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vent
did not expect kissing and realizing i’m lowkey dating a guy to send me down an existential spiral of reminding me that i have only one life to live and then i am going to die without living any other different lives
#but i’ve been wasting time not exploring at all!!#doesn’t have to be a forever person it’s just an experience#but still#it’s really weird and idk!!!!#and if i date this guy fr i would have to like go on birth control probably and holy shit i do NOT want more medication#and what if i meet someone else?#i don’t exactly want to commit y’know???#but i’m halfway through my twenties and i don’t know how much time i actually have and if i think about it too long i hyperventilate#which WOULDN’T HAPPEN if i was just continuing on with being safe and alone!!#and what about women?? i love women!#but when i really love something or someone i go crazy about it#i lose myself#so maybe realistic and neutral is better?#am i neutral?#i don’t fucking know and my friends for the most part aren’t quite grasping what i’m trying to say#like yes i overthink and yes it might not be that deep to anyone else including the guy#but it NEEDS to be that deep. to me.#because that’s how my brain fucking works.#i don’t take shit lightly and i never have#that’s why i’m better off alone#or with people who are also deeply unchill#but this guy is so chill! and it does make me feel comfortable!#but it’s also like bro is this conversion therapy am i conversion therapying myself?#my entire identity for more than a decade has been based off being single and independent#and the lapses in that are times in my life that i see myself as unambiguously pathetic and embarassing#with men and women#i feel like a fucking unsocialized semiferal cat that wants affection but also doesn’t know how to accept it#and do i even want it? or is it want i know i should want or what would be good for me so im just slowly forcing myself into it?#it’s so much easier. so much simpler. to not have to freak out about this stuff.#sorry for venting i know it’s annoying it’s just fuck man…
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Quirkless college AU where Keigo is your annoying teachers assistant for one of your majors classes. He never seems to give you that A you deserve, and is hellbent on going back and forth with you about every little thing. About every little grade, every little answer you submit, every little note he likes to leave on the corners of your papers. He mocks your handwriting with his own chicken scratch, even writes a ‘wtf are you trying to say???? is that supposed to say RHETORIC?????’ on one of your papers.
You wanna complain about him to your professor when it comes to his attitude and nitpicking, but the prof always just tells you to take it up with the TA yourself. And that’s exactly what the golden haired man wants, and it’s so painstakingly obvious with the way he absolutely grins when you drag your feet into his ‘office hours’ (aka him sitting in the library for the same amount of time every week).
“I was wondering when you’d ask me to round your grade up.” Keigo doesn’t even greet you, just leans back in his chair as he folds his arms over his chest. His smile grows even wider when you narrow your eyes and huff at him, snatching the chair out from across him to plop down heavily.
“Give me the grade I deserve, and not the grade that drags me here to be with you.” You’re all snaps and irritation, and Keigo loves it—eats up the way your bottom lip juts and your brows furrow down and, oh, you’re so goddamn cute when you’re annoyed.
“Go on a date with me this weekend, and I’ll change it.” Keigo blurts out with a lilt of his lips, eyes squinting when you reel back with a scoff. You stare at him for a while before answering, and he can’t help but notice how shifty your hands have gotten and how it grows harder to look him in the eye now.
“I feel like that goes against policy.” You mutter, picking at your nails before glaring through your lashes. Keigo cocks his head to the side, smiling.
“Don’t tell me you’re a goody two shoes.” He teases, tilts his head in your direction, watches the gears turning in your head as you narrow your eyes at him.
“Fine. One date, and you give me extra credit on the last paper.” You bargain with him, glaring at his hand when he holds it out for you to shake. You pause before you take it, frowning when Keigo grins wider and leans across the table.
“Looks like you’ve got yourself a deal there, birdie.”
And after that, it becomes routine for you both. Keigo enters the most foul grade he can until you show up at his dorm room furious and seething, all so he can pull you in to his space and kiss your puffy cheeks while you enter your own grade in the system. He’s a bit of a jackass, but you think it’s all worth it, especially when he shows you the expansive winged tattoo on his back and the quickest and most efficient way to do eyeliner. He’s good for something, you guess.
#I wrote this two nights ago and forgot about it#but I think I wanna make a college au series lmfao#I say that every time I get a collective idea and can’t stick it to one character#but I’ve already written about RA sleaze bag touya#why not TA Keigo???#okay I don’t know anymore college jobs AKSHDKDJDJDFJ#wait maybe creepy tutor shiggy……….#okay idk Leave me ALONE#also wish me luck on my astronomy quiz today#I’m dreading it so bad and wanna cry#I might get h*gh before I take it so the results won’t fuck with me too bad lmfao#omg I’m watching American dad and they killed off one character bc of a goofball to the head#why tf did they put him in the casket with the golf ball STILL IN HIS HEAD?-$:!:&;!;$#I hate this show omfg SO STUPID#okay I’m done sorry#now I have to make a masterlist for this mf#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#hawks treats! 🍬#—queue’ve got a new treat in stock! 🍰
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I’ve noticed a shift in the fandom lately and I’m sure many of you have too and I think I’ve identified why it feels like the fandom is shrinking or dare I say “dying”. It’s interactions.more so the LACK of interactions. there are still so many people who post art and stuff on here but they don’t stick around, why? well because the fandom feels unwelcoming. And this isn’t some weird call out type thing I think we’re all guilty of it to an extent but the sense of community in this fandom is rare. people only reblog their mutuals and they don’t give new accounts a chance.
I feel like i can say I’ve noticed a huge difference as I’ve been here since mid 2022. but back then even if you weren’t mutuals with people you still reblogged and interacted even in 2023 the vibe still felt the same you still feel that support. tumblr as a platform is built on the sense of community and interaction. asks!! people barely use them anymore and I see people (including myself) basically asking people to interact because they don’t! so I guess what I’m trying to say is if we were more welcoming to new people maybe it wouldn’t feel like the fandom is just a void of its former self.
#encanto#encanto disney#disneys encanto#disney’s encanto#i think everyone is guilty of this including me#but there was a post a while back that had like 500+ notes saying to interact if still in fandom#yet I am yet to see the support in the fandom from these people#I’m primarily talking about new accs but i suppose this can apply to everyone#please don’t take this as mean or call out I literally just suck at tone#idk maybe I’m alone on this but the vibe just feels very distant lately#rare times I feel the old sense of community#not really calling this a hot take more of a personal observation#feel free to disagree but the thoughts just been nagging me for a while now#and I guess I needed to get it out#also I’m just hormonal so there’s that
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omg yesterday made me so tired but HOPEFULLY today i can write more for the fic & also begin rereading the jjk manga from the beginning :3
#i think . the two fics i want to focus on most are the cult leader geto one AND the gojo one… sniffles#IT’S JUST IDK WHAT SEASON I WANNA DO THE GOJO ONE FOR FNFNFNFNNFFN#kinda wanna do winter………. 🙂↕️ kinda wanna do autumn……….. decisions decisions#but above all i love the spring layout i have for that fic so 😭 maybe winter might be the move i feel like i could use those colors#for winter too idk#BUT ANYWAYS RAHHHHHHHHHH will also begin making my meta post but i’m taking it so serious#like TRUST i’ll be taking notes while reading the tcb scans 🙏🏼#the meta post will be for me and me alone i just gotta get my thoughts out there#it won’t all be gripes! it’ll be stuff i loved abt the manga but . i will touch on gripes/theories that would’ve worked so well also#(and mischaracterization……… my most Beloathed)#personal
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i must say. mr simm obviously makes every scene he’s in very fun and delightful. but. idk. this does not feel quite like my cat from end of time. there’s a weird sorta disconnect here. i guess to emphasize how different missy is from him?
#there are moments where im like oh yeah thats him and then other moments where im like. :/ would he fucking say that.#im Not talking about him being a bitch. that is him. he would absolutely be mean to bill for being cybermanned.#but. idk. how to explain it.#does anyone else get this vibe or am i completely alone here maybe im just. eh.#you know maybe it is that they ditched the drums? because that was Such a thing for his character it was an underlying motivator the entire#time. and i mean you really had a chance i think to do something post-end of time with them because what do you do when the thing tormenting#you served its purpose. failed. and you still have to live with it.#but yeah i guess we don’t have to do that. or think about why he went off to gallifrey in end of time the last time the doctor saw him.#i guess we don’t have to. make him really react to the doctor the way he did before. that’s fine. i’m. it’s fine. he’s too busy having gay#sex with himself its fine.#dw lb#dw 10x12
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i’m getting irrationally annoyed by those “immortality isn’t so bad yeah your loved ones would eventually die but that’ll happen anyway” posts. are you just not gonna love anyone else after those people die?? and if you do youre okay with that cycle repeating thousands of times????? now if i was part of a group of immortals then hell yea brother sounds good but i just. don’t understand the idea of being okay with being fundamentally alone forever
#it’s wild to me how people are like ‘i’d get to experience so much!’#you’d never get to experience growing old since i’m assuming ppl posting this aren’t in their like 80s or 90s#which i imagine would weigh quite heavy on ppl after centuries of watching ppl grow old and die#wouldn’t your experience of life make it difficult to connect with ppl too?? how are u gonna make new connections when their lives are lik#little blips in time to you#‘oughhh it’s so selfish you want one of your loved ones to bury you’ do u think they’d be more okay with knowing you’d be alone forever once#they’re gone#anyway this is such a non issue I just need to yell into the void#idk maybe it’s bc I’ve lost 3 family members in the past 2 years but those posts are So Annoying
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the dark side ? british tourists still not realizing what drowning is
#stream#like … girl ? 😭😭😭#i was soooo happy when they called off the search for this mf like sorry king but yea uh he just got fucked up & then drowned#like …. girl ….. the dark side …. mixing alcohol w water …… or drugs & water but the Water is also the Unforgiving Ocean#like idk what british ppl r thinking when they go abroad get absolutely plastered like do yall want …. the citizens to take care of u ? bro#like 😭😭😭 get a grip ?#idk i mean my dream is to disappear but i know sure as FUCK it won’t be in the CANARY ISLANDS#u think i’m dying in spanish owned land ? THINK AGAIN#I WILL OUTLIVE SPAIN OUT OF SPITE ALONE FUCK YALL & FUCK UR KING#IDCIDCIDCIDC#spain hater level 99#britain hater level 99#i love the portuguese bc they also get upset when u say brazil invented portuguese#like hmm#maybe u shouldn’t have put so much of a population outside ur territory if u wanted to maintain ur language …#mozambique ? PUT PORTUGESE ON THE MAP#ANGOLA EVEN ?????
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screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who i’ve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think it’s a manic episode but we don’t really know but it’s. terrifying lowkey#he thinks he’s genuinely jesus and that he’s conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#he’s been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like ‘because it’s 6:20 this is true’ and like ‘i know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understand’#and he’ll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but it’s all nonsense#i’m just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i don’t know how to ensure that happens cause he’s 19. not a minor#he’s just. not him rn. he’s called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you can’t get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didn’t sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but we’re leaving today and i don’t wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but it’s just. scary. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think there’s any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain he’s Not Him rn so they don’t get concerned but who knows if they’ll understand what i’m trying to say#i know it’s not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she can’t stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. we’re all too scared it’s going in the directon where he thinks it’s better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but he’s Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back it’s really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. he’ll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but he’s Not Him. and can’t give it#i just. really want this to get better but it’s so hard to see that happening rn
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besides. i have a sister
#having an existential crisis and wanting to be swallowed by the earth only to remember my little sister#i think people would genuinely be shocked by how i am prone to extreme bouts of anxiety and depression#given how bubbly and smiley and energetic i am#like literally when I’m alone I’m a completely different person and i wonder if it’s who i really am#idk i was going thru it tonight and my little sister came into my room and it just made it seem like#no maybe i should be here actually
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