#maybe i should talk about that show next
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A lil guy !
#honkai star rail#dan heng#genuinely have a million things i wanna draw and then zero energy#so dan heng in a hoodie#now i gotta go get dinner sooooo maybe that will give energy and then i can draw more of what i actually wanna draw#but i kinda spent like ... hours ? talking to my mom earlier today#since shes been in the hospital for many many days#so i was catching her up on whats been goin on and showed her silly lil videos#and telling her how hyped i was for summer hrid and she (very patient with my fe talk)#was like you always tell me about banners being bad so it must have made you REALLY happy to say the whole banner is good#and im like yeah and i had multiple people on multiple sites like hey salmon/moeblob did ya see the banner#and she was like thats so cool that people acknowledge who you like and im like yeah it is p cool#and then i told her how mad i was at the absolutely criminal act of limiting how you can watch clue (1985 hit movie)#like i told her yeah sure i own it twice on dvd and once on itunes and that the only way to watch those#are either desktop or ps2 and how i dont have access to my itunes email#and i dont have it on my laptop so i sadly would have to rebuy the movie on itunes under a new acct#then i said how i loved that it was free to watch with ads on yt and id watched it twice that way#but then recently wanted to watch it on there but laptop and hoo boy you have to buy or rent it now#so i v angrily was like fine whatever ill do the thing and leave my room and go watch it on my moms tv#while she isnt around and use her amazon prime where it should be included except ! IT WASNT!#YOU HAVE TO HAVE PRIME TO BUY OR RENT IT NOW TOO!#HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS AND WHY ! who in the world is watching this movie so much that isnt me that they have to charge for it now#on all platforms unless you straight up pirate it#and hey why would i of all people be needing to pirate a movie i own physically two times and digitally once#this is literally a personalized attack to me#and my mom was like i understand how you feel cause yeah thats really weird to do to a 1985 movie#and im like yes exactly i have morals and principles that make me opposed to this and its v maddening#and she said she understood and its ok next time we are having power issues and i have to shut down#that if i really wanna watch it i can rent it on her amazon account and i looked at her and shes like oh you feel v strongly about this#and i do! I HAVE HAD IT GIFTED TO ME TWICE ! I BOUGHT IT ONCE! WHY DO I HAVE TO RENT IT FOR MORE MONEY!
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I get the sense that Nina is gonna haunt the next season.
#creature commandos#discussion in tags ->#im having A Moment#bride crashout incoming question mark.#i would Love To See her go after flag but its not gonna happen lol#i mean i guess she already kinda did. killing Rostovic. but like. i want her to lose it#bride says shes the only kind one out of them. she finally accepts that theyre friends and then accidentally drives her to her to her death#i want nina to have been a Uniting Force of the team. i want everything to go to shit w/o her there#a character whose Whole Life is defined by being a perceived burden to others is finally almost able to prove herself and.#i want the bride to go absolutely postal i want phosphorus to try changing for the better. asterisk. sorta. hear me out#the bride is just about nihilistic atp. she straight up says if rostovic hadnt killed nina she wouldnt have cared enough.#she deserved to have a sparkling fiery vengeful meltdown about everything next season. and she should get to kill eric godspeed.#phosphorus has already gotten his revenge.#he went through terrible shit and killed everyone who wronged him and then went on a hedonistic bender about it.#(phosphorus is also the only one to go by a different name. and he chose it for himself. i dont have anythng to say abt that yet but. ow)#but he clearly is still wracked with guilt about his wife and kids deaths too. He goes for Thorne at home. He definitely kills his kids.#in what i can only see as an intentional parallel.#but then in pokolistan when he is given a Very Legitimate reason to kill the little girl [she could out the team] not only does he Not-#he talks to and plays with her in a way that is Immediately a parallel to his own kid owwwww#[for hours possibly? isnt it night when theyre being chased and morning when her parents come down?? ill have 2 check tho]#good god im off topic anyway#phosphorus is a sarcastic prick like. comedically so.#the aformentioned scene is pretty much the only time in the whole show hes even remotely sincere#when him and the bride are trying to reassure nina before she goes to kill the princess-#he A] sounds genuinely earnest B] calls her “kid” and C] waits for her to leave before ruining it lmao#and like. i dont know if he felt paternal or anything but i do think her death is gonna mess him up a little#or maybe theyll all get worse.. i wouldnt be annoyed if they all crash the fuck out together. GI is gonna find out eventually too.#also hes reformed. kinda. in some of his recent comic appearances which makes for a fun dynamic certainly#christ this was a novel im sorry hsajdghkgdah#i dont rly have a satisfying ending i just. Ouagh
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Listening to the music made by someone you know in passing and becoming a fan of the band is embarrassing I feel such shame rn
#We literally sat next to eachother in politics for a term and talked about his band#one of my friends listened to them and said “you should chdck them out it's your kind of thing”#and now I've listened to nothing but the eight songs they have for a week#I really wanna go to a gig too but I can't just show up because I'll look like a stalker#but I don't talk to him unless we get sat together either and we have a seating plan in politics like a secondary school or smth#so i cant even inform him that i enjoy his band#its a pickle to say the least#or maybe I'm overthinking this idk#0o0o
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i feel lost. scared. lonely
step out into the sun. into the endless pain. alone in an opaque void, or maybe i just can't see through it enough to notice i'm not alone. it burns. is rotting in the darkness worse? drowning in the sewer?
infinite mazes of light, nobody aroung. this isn't real. the real light burns, this doesn't. i see so clearly yet there still remains no-one. fields of empty space, knee height. marble floors with no temperature
mirages of others. of company
endless seconds ticking by. however many millions. running around searching for a way out, tiring myself endlessly, never collapsing
my flesh bleeds – oozes, almost – with sickly purples
(legs numb now. alternating between writing tags and main post segment whatever this is called)
dragging my forearms across the subtle rough texture of the tiling. they bleed. they fall apart so easily. so weak. so brittle. so rotten through
i need ..... . .......i don't know what i need
please, i need whatever that thing is
someone tell me what i need
someone tell me what to do. where to go. i'm so lost in here. i'm running out of battery. it's always ticking down, never reaches 0, i feel like it's a lie. shepherd's tone
my sanity's slowly falling deeper and deeper into the infinitesimal abyss, or maybe not and it just feels like that. i don't know anymore. i don't remember anymore. i don't remember what i am. my family's fading from me. i'll be alone soon. without them
my ideas are running out yet i must keep writing. this is my purpose in life for... however long it's taken now. 10 minutes? i didn't check when i started.
...... ..............
■■■■ ■■■■■■ shall claim me soon
#rant#rambles#this turned out surprisingly poetic ig?#“drowning in the sewer” is a reference to →#sewerslvt#setting vaguely inspired by →#ultrakill#show me the sky show me how to live#← is a good song btw. listening rn#please talk to me. i need someone. i need someone to be obsessed with me. i need attention forever overwhelmingly much#tw rant#tw blood#not sure what trigger warnings to apply#this post is stretching on. i like that. this is nice to write. i should write somewhere more fit for long-form stuff#ao3#← maybe? if someone finds this through that tag please help me get on there maybe if i have the motivation#please talk to me#this is the last i'm writing for this post. nothing more for the main segment. this tag. the last. and the 2 next ones#bye for now. i'm actually kinda proud of how this post turned out. i felt it was gonna be uninspired and felt kinda bad about complaining i#such a boring way but actually this turned out good
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I genuinely feel like I dont have a right at all to complain or talk negative about Japanese fans but like……..the evident cliqueish-ness of honestly what looks like a very unfortunate larger chunk of them ……😮💨
like i gotta be honest the concert was a lot more isolating than it actually already was in itself because of the vibes at least a couple of clusters of fans gave me
#ramblin but not a gamblin man#like there’s a point where the pretty fixed staring or being like….physically distanced by everyone just gets…..unnerving#like the train back was completely fucking packed#except for in the space in front of where i was sitting…..lol#there was room for at least two people to stand if only people had actually consolidated and scrunched#like they had been doing the entire motherfucking way through transit and back#but i guess fuck them they can wait for the next train??? sure that makes sense#like i have never felt MORE uncomfortable and self-conscious being a smap/takuya fan#he’s the only piece that actually matters at the con tho 🫰#i probably should have brought merch but i actually was not crazy about the con’s theming (it’s…giving a bit too parasocial for my taste)#and I didn’t even consider bringing gwtf or next destination merch but i probably should have#but it’s not actually /mine/ so then i would think about how everyone that has theirs maybe probably ACTUALLY went to the concerts#that was another thing tho which is absolutely stupid because the whole point of a con is to SHOW OFF the stuff#but it was actually like……..off putting to me…….#idk maybe it’s cuz i innately have a weird ‘relationship’ with smap/individual members in that they aren’t normal-level interests#it just wasn’t sitting right with me seeing hoards of fans with bags..shirts..hats..all kinds of stuff lol#and it’s so hard NOT to have a defense mechanism like ‘I wonder if that person likes smap or /just/ takuya….’#and ‘did you actually want to come to the concert or mostly/just because you think he’s hot/cool/etc etc?’#esp validating seeing TWO people yawn during the con which was genuinely pretty disgusting/distasteful lmao#like that’s worse than leaving early why are you EVEN HERE#sorry okay i could probably vent more but i actually shouldnt and also i might end up talking in circles but#he was genuinely…………so amazing im eternally grateful that i had the opportunity to see him live#and if there is a smap reunion………..#….i genuinely think smapchat should storm it#be our own ✨clique✨#(but like…actually nice and kind and probably how takuya would want his fans to be ie not thickly-layered judgment [heehee :3])#(im also actually kind of so serious ???)
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okay thats interesting! in the SF try-outs during the song "legally blonde" she sings about how she cant be legally blonde, while in the official version AND THE DEMO she sings about letting her be legally blonde. which means that at some point they changed the lyrics around, and then changed them back! laurence o'keefe.... nell benjamin.... what occurs in your twisted minds
#covers mouth sorry so sorry guys#im a huge fan of beacon of positivity + good boy (elle puts a leash on emmett confirmed) + love and war (not in the demo but part of SF)#+ i liked some of the lyrics in the demo version of so much better (it called back to beacon of positivity!!! (i am insane)) such as:#I dream of your name next to my own but mine's looking fine up there alone#but i greatly prefer all the official songs we got. well. maybe good boy over ireland wouldve been fun (i think ireland is boring)#but itd play into the 'all men are dogs hurr hurr' joke that im glad they avoided. anyways. what was i saying.#right i havent listened to every version of everything yet (for example theres a SF version of chip on my shoulder i need to watch)#(and just the SF vers in general. shes hidden from me... why was emmett there before the remix... let me see their conversation)#but from what i have heard they made a lot of changes that were sorely needed. in take it like a man demo shes so much meaner??#it made me sad. it wasnt a duet + they wrung out the romantic tension (no subtext by calvin klein... sigh) + shes meaner!!!!#in the bway vers hes baffled but enjoys going along w it + she genuinely likes him even when hes wearing his regular clothes#but in the demo vers she keeps calling him stuff like ugly duckling and talking about how the geek is gone :( but she likes that geek..#the lines 'how much do you think i earn??' and 'kindly shut up :)' are funny but speak to a dynamic between the two that makes me sad...#follow me for more beautiful opinions on a fifteen year old musical#(heaves. do you know weird it is to see comments from 15yrs ago when this was actually showing. my brother is fifteen.)#god im so sorry i should be put down like a dog#lgb bootleggers are intense. i swear they got a bootleg every night or smth bc we got her shoe flying off + SF + kyle as understudy etc#go watch a so much better compilation sometime how did they take so many bootlegs?? how did you find them??#and its awesome cause these were filmed on 2007/2008 tech which means they have 15 pixels maximum#SORRRRYYYYYYYYYY
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Sometimes I feel like being controversial and think about making my next video essay about poto. Unfortunately I would probably be murdered irl
#adjdllsldld i say this very sincerely and kindly as someone who loves poto#and who has friends in the poto fandom#but.#sometimes looking at fandom discussions/the 30 year war (of ships) makes me go like that meme#'wow this place is a freakshow' 💀💀💀💀😭😭😭😭#also i feel like for poto you can't put out a meta analysis about the show without knowing allll the productions and the other poto musicals#inside and out. because there's always someone who knows smth you might've overlooked#and then that person will call you - a brave young suitor - an ignorant fool.......#like i already get lifelong jim steinman fans in my tdv essay comments and while some ppl are very kind and provide additional context#some are snooty as hell and act like my ability to analyze the story is impaired by not talking about bonnie tyler in the vid XDDDDHJDJDDDD#maybe i should make a lnd essay and base my analysis exclusively on the australia proshot and magdeburg (which i will see next year!!)#it will be glowing praise of course#musicals#theatre
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THAT WAS THE TOYMAKER’S GIGGLE COME ON NOW
#doctor who#I was wondering if they'll have him come back at some point#bc I felt like the amount of time they spent on his character & the way they defeated him seemed insufficient for how powerful#he’s allegedly supposed to be#either way definitely something fucky is going on with reality like the snow that showed up when they were talking abt christmas eve#and the doctor’s memory of ruby’s mom changing...#I wonder if it has anything to do with 14 fucking around with superstition at the edge of the universe or whatever they said about that#either way that was a direct callback to the toymaker so at the very least he and the maestro must be in league with the same big bad#the toymaker alluded to in the specials#anyway maybe I should just watch the episode and see if my questions are answered#WAIT also next mavity reference when
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did i tell y'all how i suggested to The Guy I Kinda Went On A Date With that we see a movie next time we hang out and his response was "idk there aren't any good places to see movies" like. sir. we live in new york city. what the actual fuck are you talking about 😭
#there are FIFTEEN movie theaters in manhattan alone!!! we WALKED PAST ONE while we were walking to the subway!!!#i keep second guessing my choice to disengage and then i remember something else stupid this man said to me#i'm just ANNOYED because we talked about all these cool things we could go do. take the ferry see a show whatever#and like. idk this dude was a little grating but i think we could've had a good time exploring the city or whatever#but no!!! it was all talk. he literally only wanted to go to one of our apartments to “watch a documentary”#like if that's what you want dude that's fine but i also think like me suggesting 5+ other things we should do next time —#— is a sign that we are maybe not on the same page!!!#i wasn't even into this dude to begin with i wanted to back out as soon as i realized he was flirting with me and i should have#but it's just hard to tell for sure and i didn't want to miss out on the opportunity to make a friend bc i have so few irl friends#anyway i want to say i'll shut up about this but i probably won't lmaooo#m.txt
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STREAM OF ALL TIME THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HOSTING I'm gonna keep it quick and say uhhhhh here's Jo's new theme <3 Allegedly <3
killing myself immediately i just KNOOOOOWWWWW as soon as this fucking track Allegedly shows up in the game i have to have like a five minute dance break this is TASTY
#snap chats#they added choir singin my god..... brb busting in the corner Who Said That#ITS SO FUCKING GOOOD RAAAAAAGGGHHHH#my favorite part about sawashiro's theme is that every time i check the comments section for it#eveyrone agrees It Fucks Tremendously AND IT DOS RAAAGGHGH THSI IS SO GOOD#ESPECIALLY IN CONTRAST WITH HIS PREVIOUS THEME fittin for 'savagery' ITS JUST SO MUCH MORE UPBEAT#he's out of his grief saga. he's just here to fuck it up#ON THE DANCE FLOOR sorry this track bangs so much........ it fuckin me up like theory of beauty.... and i love theory of beauty...#sorry i have to loop this for the next twelve weeks no one talk to me#i may not show it but i lve techno music... AND they kept the crunchy guitars#GOD NOW I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO SAWASHIRO... YK....... //SCREAMS IN NDA//#obsesing over this sorry everyone im ltierally talkin in circles i cant express how much this bangs. stream tonight was great#maybe i really should have drawn sawashiro during stream LOL
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Go...goliath??? no... he's so pale too...
why are my vegetables so pale...?
#ryan watches vt#veggietales#normally i'd make some jokes and not just talk about the general experience watching the show#but like... this is still very jarring to me#maybe next episode#I sleep tonight but tomorrow night? we're watching them bring back my boy awful alvin!!!#even tho hes a murderer and also uno's dad#fic spoilers for a fic you haven't read but probably should#maybe double feature with the OG larryboy ep to compare#my fave larryboy cartoon was angry eyebrows and it was THE most iconic VeggieTales to me for many years
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Fandom things I'm looking forward to:
Kingdom Hearts IV and Missing Link
Final Fantasy VII Rebirth
Final Fantasy IX Remake
Final Fantasy Tactics Remaster or Remake (whichever it is. I've heard both things)
The fourth Madoka Magica movie, whenever that comes out (seriously. Where is it? First it was announced as the Concept movie. Then it was re-announced years later with a new name, and it's still missing)
The Percy Jackson TV show
The Infernal Devices TV show
Maybe the Twilight TV show. Maybe.
The animated Smallville continuation that Tom Welling and Michael Rosenbaum are working on, whenever it comes out
I was going to put Baron and Toluca on this list (that's, like, a spiritual successor to the OG "Roswell" TV show. Majandra Delfino who played Maria in the show wrote the script, and she and Brendan Fehr who played Michael star in it. They're also planning for more Roswell cameos in later episodes), but it came out and I didn't even know it? But I have no idea how to watch it, though, as I guess it only came out in theaters in Albuquerque. Here's hoping it comes out on DVD or something...
The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes
The alleged Firefly reboot
The new Daredevil show
The Batman Part II
The next part in Tom Holland's Spider-Man movies
The DCU, starting with Superman Legacy in 2025
The Five Nights at Freddy's movie and Help Wanted 2
The Iron Lung movie
The TV show that it sounds like Markiplier will be working on after he's done with the Iron Lung movie
The next Bendy and the Ink Machine thing being worked on
MAYBE the Hello Neighbor sequel. I know. I KNOW! (It's really only because the second game had to end on a cliffhanger.)
Five Nights at Candy's 4
Frozen III
Disney's "Wish"
The next and final season of the Clear Card arc of Cardcaptor Sakura
The new Avatar series (the one about the third Avatar in the cycle: the Earth bender)
The live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender series, perhaps
The Chosen season 4
#As for things that haven't been announced#Ffxvi when that of course happens#The ffx remake if that rumor is true#I'm still hoping we'll get one more season of full metal panic to finish off the show. Please don't end things on a cliffhanger!#And no matter what I'll forever and always be pulling for a twewy3. Please give it to us Square. Pretty Please? With sugar on top?#I also still (mostly? Kind of?) wish we had a new Buffy show to look forward to. but alas. maybe someday#also after khiv nomura's all but confirmed that next is a verum Rex. And I'm. Like. Already pre-excited for that if that makes sense. Lol#And I don't know how to feel about the new death note movie adaptation I want to have faith in the Russo brothers but mostly I'm afraid#And I just- I LOVE death note. You all KNOW I love death note. But I just don't know what can be done with the story that hasn't already#been done#Unless you just completely change it and then piss off all of us fans. Again#I said it once and I'll say it again: i wish they were making a code grass movie instead (which has the beats they're looking to adapt in#death note. but other stuff too. and has never gotten a live-action adaptation so at least if nothing else it would be original)#there's also a part of me that wants to get caught up on winx club and see if this new season (that's maybe a soft reboot? but don't quote#me on that) will be better than some of the last ones and start getting the series in the direction in needs to be going again. hopefully#and isn't there some new pokémon season coming out where brock and misty reunite with ash (i read an article about it) which confuses me#because i thought the show ended?#unless the article was just talking about an english dub of the season that already aired in japan or something like that#i also should really get caught up on all of the sailor moon crystal stuff. shame on me for not being so!#somewhat. kind of. the next garten of banban game. God help me#kindergarten 3 if there ever is one#slayers: a buffyverse story would have been on here if they hadn't announced it after i made this list and if i'd remembered to come back#and add it. but i listened to it and loved it:)
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"Nothing particularly interesting, I suppose." Vezz taps his claws together, furrowing his brow as he peers up at Kerra. "Nothing much to ask. But I've been through all this myself, and I feel the question begs asking: how are you holding up?"
@ratasum (from dad mode Vezz fjkelfds)
(Dad mode Vezz hours <3)
Kerra blinks, then lets out a sigh as she pulls out a nearby chair and sits down. She offers Vezz a tired smile. "I've been worse, somehow--which I'm aware isn't the best descriptor, but you of all people might have some idea what I mean. I'd be doing much better if the world-ending events could stop for longer than a year. Give me time with my partners that I don't have to fight for. Stop targeting my children."
She puts her face in her hand for a moment, then runs that hand through her leaves. "Aurene can take care of herself. And Rhi can certainly hold their own in combat, I just...I don't know how much you know about the situation in Gyala Delve, but Rhi was involved before I was. They shouldn't have to be there, they don't have to be there, but...like parent, like child. It's a threat to people they care about. They won't walk away.
"There are limits on what I can do to keep them safe--to keep them both safe. I've never been okay with that. I never will be."
#gw2#kerralind#vezz#other ocs#kerra so DESPERATELY wanted to protect both rhi and aurene from feeling shoved into everything too early#like kerra herself was#and she only managed it half as well as she would have liked at best for them both#and rhi was the one involved in a *lot* of the story bits in 'what lies beneath'#'it's fine if i help out with this and don't tell my parents i'm doing something incredibly dangerous. right. that's cool right.'#to be fair they are mentally an adult at this point; but a young one (like maybe equivalent of 18-19 yrs old)#and their parents have historically been involved in So Many Things that really they should have been called for that reason alone#but. anyways. kerra hasn't fully had to deal with hallucinations stuff yet. that's probably going to show up in the Next chapter released#also she could and would talk a lot with vezz about the trauma they share if he'd be willing to listen#kerra has never really had a parental figure aside from (kinda) the pale tree#and she doesn't expect that specific flavor of support#but she'd take it from him if he offered#that got so LONG but anyways as;lkdjf#thanks a bunch for the ask! :D
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Hm... gonna muse in the tags
#excited about applying for summer camp#feel like I should talk with some of the bosses about it now that I'm almost 100%sure about doing it this year#so it's a bit weird because I have a few people hushed about the fact I'm thinking about it#anyway#beyond that#I have to figure out what to do with my lesson family#I have them reaching out to a more local trainer for their rescue pony#I'm hoping to shift them over#my friend says that this trainer (who she works for) is looking to expand her client base and teachers#so I'm thinking about starting to teach over there in the fall maybe?#but I really think that the place I am needed most for the summer will be camp#but anyway#because I haven't actually applied yet#I can't tell the family yet with certainty I'll be unavailable this summer#so it will probably be a conversation to be had like next lesson I guess#but I do have some questions that I need to come up with for them tomorrow#lessons about the rescue pony#about the work schedule of the mom this summer#about how showing steers for fair changes their relationship with riding#etc etc#so I don't know what all I'm gonna say there?#I'm just hoping the mom is the one out there#because the dad is just... not very helpful#he's nice and all and always polite#but he knows the least out of all of them about horses#and he's always a little uncomfortable when he's out there#so anyway! big things coming I guess#just gotta prioritizeeeeee
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Successfully fended off The Group Chat on a THIRD platform.
#although technically I’m still in three because this girl has added me to TWO insta group chats. I gave her my number for an unrelated#thing and the next thing I know I am in a text chain with her and her coworkers. they talk about work. I am unrelated to any of this.#she told me to join the discord and I said I didn’t have one. I hate group chats. I don’t ever have anything to say they don’t provide#useful info that someone else wouldn’t simply share with my privately and they clog up my notifications.#I went over for game night and we played a flattery game for FOUR HOURS 😭 it was agony. I didn’t know anyone and I’m supposed to choose#flattering cards for people??? like you give the best hugs. you are loving to ok you meet. your smile makes me melt.#like hello I know your pronouns that’s it. and at the end we all had to take pictures of our cards to remember what everyone things of us.#like. I didn’t think any of that of any of you. it was such a weirdly fake and manipulative game for an outsider. hated it.#did I mentioned three round of this took four hours? it took four hours. four. hours.#cute game for close friends and/or partners. not so great for someone you don’t know. and who is also uncomfortable with this sort of#manufactured intimacy. she admitted to hoping I join the polycule ‘someday’. I said no. I said I wasn’t interested. but I’m starting to#think that means very little. when I came over for game nights I was forced to stop and have a meeting with them to say when I would show#up to events on the group calendar. I feel like I’m in a cult!!!! what???? text me the week before it happens maybe I’ll come. I’m not#going to commit to smoothies on Tuesday the third week of December!!!!!#anyway. all of this is making me really nervous to text my classmate. I feel like I’m going to come off as her. just. incredibly needy. ugh#anyway just have to vent because this is feeling so bizarre. I’ve been so tired this week socializing and this game was a bad way to end it#I’m also getting paranoid that they have tumblrs and will find me and read these and confront me about it. I should delete them or#private them. this is ridiculous.
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Part 2
1.8k, cw: ghosts a pervert, smut, readers husband is piece of work, not proofread.
Simon Riley who first saw you at the butcher's shop on the phone.
You were a pretty thing. Wearing a pink little yoga set, one arm holding your mat and the other holding your phone to your ear as you wait for the butcher to bring out your cut of meat.
Which was taking a long time
Simon would’ve had it chopped and packed to go by now. Though, he can’t complain with the view he has of your ass- you. The man was touch starved. He hadn’t been back home in a while, back-to-back deployments keeping him occupied. His only company being his calloused and scraped hands roughly jerking himself until he came, bordering on unpleasurable. Not what some could consider enjoyable, but try being in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere for weeks on end and see if you care so much about gentle.
The borderline perverted look you were blissfully unaware of was tracking down your form. He stared at the way the material tightly clung on to every bit of you in a welcoming way, a second skin. The sweat on you from your little session.
Just how flexible does yoga make a bird like you?
It was only when he heard a grating sound come from your phone that he snapped out of his trance. Even with his bad ears from all the bullets whizzing past him, bombs going off within meters of him, and the usual shit show he did for a living he could hear the voice which bled through your phone's speaker.
"Get me a steak this time. Nonna that nasty shit from last time!"
You hurriedly turned your volume down as it blasted in your ear, startled by the voice. Chewing on your lip you pivoted towards the counter to see if your order had been brought out; the motion to no avail as the employee continued chopping away in the back room.
It was only when your other hand came into full view from the motion he noticed the absolute rock on your finger.
"Honey, I thought the salmon was pretty good." That prick clearly firing something back as you winced away from your phone once again. Gritting your teeth as if biting back your arguments, looking around to occupy your time as the man on the phone continues to speak. "I know... I'm sorry. Don't worry, it'll be ready by 7." You placatingly cooed.
"Listen, I have to go. I love y-" You began, but the moment the words tumbled from your lips you pulled the phone fully from your cheek to see a blank screen with the time staring back on you. The asshole hung up!
What a fuckin tosser.
Simon hears the butcher finally call your name with familiarity and with a sigh you step towards the counter.
He leaned on to the wall further as he had been the entire time. Silent. Unsettling. A stark contrast to your bright appearance in the shop, the larger man brooded in his corner waiting his turn.
“See ya’ next Friday!” You still managed a bright smile at the butcher who handed you your meat.
A mild thing like you really shouldn’t be talked to so thoughtlessly, some guys are fuckwits though. He never liked the type. Why lock a bird down with a ring if you were gonna be mean to her?
“S’cuse me sir, i’m just gonna push past you here” You asked. With widened eyes, Simon gruffly mumbled a “Yeah,” out before creating a stupidly small space.
Maybe he really did want you to push past him. Or just push up on him but oh well.
Sweeping past him, you give him a toothy smile as you had so sweetly done to the butcher, as if you hadn’t got yelled at less than five minutes ago. God you really have no common sense, beaming up at the lurker in the corner at least twice your size. A girl as pretty as you should really stick to herself.
From that interaction on, Simon found himself being guided by the memory of you back to the butcher shop the next Friday.
And the next…
And the next.
Every week progressively standing closer and closer to you as you picked up your usual order. One day you had taken the liberty of starting small talk with him after recognizing his unmistakable stature. After all, there were only so many people you had seen in this shop and none so… large.
You could not deny you found this mystery man disquieting. Always dressed in dark colours, not so much as a word coming from him. Like clockwork you would come in after hot yoga, greet the butcher, he would come in, silence would ensue as you both waited for your meat, and you would leave with a quick smile.
It was rude. He had never even said a simple hello to you! Though, you suppose that it could be due to your own curt exits. The thought of the unkindness you might’ve exhibited subconsciously sent your mind into a spiral, leading to your abrupt introduction.
After all, who were you to judge! Kindness is and should always be the response in your books.
At this kindness, Simon swore he had to take a breath in as you politely outstretched your hand and spoke your name casually. Tilting his head down to your face he raises a brow skeptically, and then firmly shakes your head.
He failed to hide the shudder which wracked his body. The way your hand effortlessly slipped into his. Soft and manicured engulfed in his.
“Simon.”
“Well it’s good to meet you Simon” With the twinkly little smile you would grace him as you hauled it out of the shop. He felt the shiver go down his spine a second time when you spoke his name for the first time.
And then- it happened.
You giggled. A soft thing, no doubt intended to be small. It wasn’t to Simon though. It reverberated throughout the room, rang so prettily in his ears. Fuck. He would remember that sound later on tonight.
“Are you cold? You keep shivering. It’s pretty harsh out there right now.”
“Nah. Not really.” His accent thick as he shrugged.
Letting out a little “mhm” you nod and look back to the counter.
“I was freezing outside! Usually I walk home-” Simon already knew that “-but today I called my husband to come grab me! Way too cold!”
That visibly made him stiffen. Of course. Perfectly normal that guy is coming to get you, he’d be an idiot to leave you walking home alone in the cold.
If you were his girl, Simon wouldn’t have let you out of his sight. Fuck sakes you practically had “come mess with me” written all over you. There were creeps all over the place nowadays, (thought the creep).
He would’ve carried everything for you, scarfed down whatever the hell you had taken the time to prepare him. That husband of yours doesn’t like your salmon? Simon would. Hell if he didn’t, he’d cram it down his throat with gratitude anyways. He doubted anything could be worse than some of the rations he’s eaten on duty.
That train of thought is pretty redundant when he takes note of how you wouldn’t be able to leave the bed to make anything.
Maybe you’d cram something of his down your throat in gratitude.
Shaking his head subtly, he hears the bells of the store door opening. He watched your face fall as you step away from him and it’s when he sees your husband's look of complete irritation he understands why.
You had grabbed your order swiftly and with a quick wave goodbye you were on your way back to your husband. Simon could only register your husband's whisper-yell as he disapprovingly glared his way. “The fuck are you doin talking to him?���. And with that you were hurriedly ushered out.
You deigned it necessary to continue greeting Simon, have little chats about the weather, any plans he had for the weekend. Tossing in your stupid jokes that he would laugh at. You interpreted it as something closer to a breathy snort-hopefully positive- and it went on as such for weeks
And every time he returned home Friday night, he came home with only one thought after. You.
As he laid in bed the same thought persisted as he slipped his cock out of his boxers, red and weeping for some sort of stimulation. He took to his usual harsh pace. You’d be so much softer.
You’d be so nice to him wouldn’t you? Coo some compliment as he lets you tug at him. Fuck he wouldn’t know what to take first.
Would you give him a blowie or a hand job?
No. You wouldn’t be on your knees- not yet. If you’d let him have you, you’d be on your back in an instant. He’d rip the stitches of those leggings right down the middle, your panties next.
“Fuuuuuck” he moaned into the quiet of his room. He’d stick it in slow, he’d try. It would be torture not to ram himself right up to the hilt, but he’d do it for such a good girl.
That’s what you were, weren’t you? Always a nice word for someone? What would you say to him when he began to rut into you like a madman. When you would feel the pummeling intrusion, his head knocking into the deepest parts of you.
He’d be able bend you into so many different positions that you’d better hope that yoga has taught you well. Split your legs open to accommodate his imposing body size as he’d take purchase between them. Then you better hope your cunny can accommodate his other size when he spears you open on his cock.
Would you take it smiling? Would your tears roll down your cheeks, the prodding bordering too much? You’d take it either way, he knew you could. He’d rub at your clit with such tenderness he never afforded himself (as gentle as he could anyway). He’d make sure you begged to stay on his cock forever, fuck himself so deep you would be too stupid to pull away unknowing of where he ended and you started. Not that you’d have to care.
He’d flip you on to all fours and rip away your clothes entirely, pounding you from the back and instead of just his own labored breaths, the sound of skin slapping together would ring out.
In silent stoicism, he feels his balls tighten up at the thought of your perfect face stuffed into the pillows screaming your thank you’s. You probably were just as nice with someone stuffing themselves into your pussy.
At both his ruthless ministrations and boundless imagination, his release spurted all over his hand with a breathy sigh. When you were here he’d make sure to slam his hips to yours and keep them flush against you, coat your insides in hot cum better than your limp-dick husband ever could. That man wouldn’t be able to fuck you the way Simon knew he could. You deserve someone who could make you go stupid on his dick, not cry of frustration like you probably did everytime that knob who thinks himself a man rolled over after finishing himself off.
Not that you’ll have to worry about that soon
…
He wouldn’t be around for much longer anyways.
#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#cod fanfic#simon riley smut#ghost cod#ghost mw2
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