#and add it. but i listened to it and loved it:)

[windixie]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ out of touch ♱ soccer player! gojo x alt! reader pt.1

summary : gojo is the university's most popular boy and soccer player. he can get any girl he wanted to warm up his bed, so why did he catch feelings for the girl who looks like she just woke up out of a coffin?

warnings ☠︎︎ this will contain smut throughout the story. reader is implied to have a smaller chest! gojo is an asshole :( so angst, profanity, insecurities, p in v, creampie, comfort, fluff, slight breeding kink, light choking, jealousy, ill prob add to the list as the story progresses!

word count : 1.03k

let me know if you want to be added to the tag list !!

you knew gojo. hell, everyone knew gojo. annoying, loud, obnoxious, ah should I go on? that's how you described the so called star player on the soccer team. his ego reached all the way towards the clouds by how much he was admired in the community. you on the other hand, not so much. sure you were known by many but not in such a positive way. you were intelligent sure, but the way you dressed wasn't entirely accepted. you were always getting bothered by other students, one of them being no other than satoru gojo. although, it seems that you two have grown into a friendship lately.

"hey pretty" you heard an awfully familiar voice come up behind you. the white haired boy was still in his blue and white soccer jersey covered in grass stains and some of his sweat from his practice that he just came from. you gave him one of your small sweet smiles."hi gojo" you mumbled back.

he looked down at your figure. the pretty black blouse fit you so perfect as well as those mini grey jean shorts that cupped your ass so deliciously. gojo took notice of you wearing your earbuds which he took one of them and placed it in his ear. "whatcha listening to?" you faced him slightly annoyed as you looked at how his face scrunched up in disgust.

"seriously? how can your ears support all that screaming?" he grimaced as he heard the loud singing.

he let out a chuckle at that before his eyes lit up as he realized something. reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a piece of paper handing it to you. you blamed the shot of arousal that traveled towards you as you took notice of how veiny his arms were. you glanced down to see it was a ticket. a ticket to his upcoming soccer game, to be exact.

your eyebrows picked up as you turned to him. "you want me to go to your game?" the question made the blue eyed boy nod. "want you there on the stands baby, if you can, then I promise to play even better than I usually do." you were shocked to say the least. the satoru gojo inviting you to his game personally even after countless months of relentless bullying was not something you could see coming.

but you couldn't help yourself from nodding. "yeah sure ill be there!" the feeling of your heart beating against your chest brought a scary but not unwelcome feeling. You stared at him for a moment, unsure if you were hearing things correctly. The blue-eyed boy, a walking angel blessed by God himself, smirked down at you with a flicker of something you couldn’t quite place. It wasn't the usual cocky smirk. It was different—something warmer, maybe? Or maybe you were just imagining it.

"I'd like that."

"great, ill see you tomorrow after school then?" he asked in which you let out an mhm in return. "okay pretty, try and get some sleep. you need some just by judging off your eye bags" he teased. "shut up!"

you watched the taller boy walk off. his use of the sweet and loving names made you feel a little awkward, but you shoved it down. You had a feeling that this was just another one of his ways of throwing you off. It wasn’t like he was being sweet. Not Gojo. He never was.

As you walked off to the other side of where the dormitories where taking note on how the night was now awakening due to time change. as you reached for your AirPods case to put back your earbuds your fingers stopped on your left ear. your earbud was missing.

gojo didn't take notice of the music cutting off. he was in a completely different world thinking about none other than you. he didn't understand how he caught feelings. no matter how many times he reminded himself it was you and how he could do some much better that that. he only gave you to ticket to his game only to be nice, is what he told himself. a friendly gesture friends do all the time!

"yo Satoru!" one of his friends called out to him. gojo turned to look at the boy with long black hair and big ass gauges walking up to him along with some other boys from the team. a smile crept up on his face dabbing them all up. "hey you all did well at practice today"

"yeah man that's what we came to say as well but we saw you talking to that emo freak uh whats her name, y/n?" this made gojo slightly embarrassed on how they caught him. "don't tell me you hitting on that emo pussy, it can't be that good" one of the other teammates chuckled making the white haired boy slightly uncomfortable.

"nah man, too busy with uraume" Geto patted his back "good good, lets keep it that way. she's got a better body anyways. let me burrow her sometime yeah?" the blacked hair boy received a nudge at that making him chuckle.

you looked around you trying to find the taller boy to retrieve your airpod. sighing in relief as you saw him. "gojo!" you called out making the boys turn around.

"ah she came back for round two?"

you walked up to him. "hey uhm you still have my AirPods." you said pointing to his ear. "give back your friend her AirPods satoru" his friend teased.

"we're barely friends. acquaintance is a better term" he mumbled out. as you received back your airpod, you stopped. eyes widening as you heard what he said. "acquaintance? thought we were-"

"friends?" he cut you off. "cmon I pay attention to you two or three times and now suddenly we're friends?" he scoffed. why was he acting like this? that's right, because he's satoru gojo. you were nowhere as close as him. you never will be. your face turned serious before you reached into you pocket handing him the ticket he gave you. "here, you dropped this" you mumbled.

gojos eyes fell down to the ticket in his hands. his heart broke a bit. "wait.. y/n-"

"forget it" with that you retrieved back to the direction to your dorm fighting back tears as you left the boy stunned.

"looks like you hurt her feelings, gonna go apologize?"

"nah."

© 2025 windixie. All work belongs to windixie . please do not copy, repost, plagiarize, any of my works as your own.

[francesderwent]

so for the purposes of this discussion I’m going to assume that we all agree that it’s not a desirable state of affairs to be sexually intimate with a whole bunch of people just for fun. I know not everybody agrees with that *gestures vaguely to the sexual revolution and the hookup culture*, but if I have to prove that first then that’s going to take forever and I don’t think it’s what we’re talking about anyway.

we’re going to assume that our interlocutor believes sex and love do have something to do with each other, and wants to know why we shouldn’t treat sex the way that most television shows these days treat sex: like kissing on the lips. you’re in love with your boyfriend so you kiss him on the lips. and then you might break up, and fall in love again and kiss a new boyfriend on the lips. in certain circumstances you might kiss someone on the lips who isn’t your boyfriend, like if they save your life or you go through a bonding experience together or something. and eventually you get married to someone and you only kiss that guy on the lips from then on, but you have kissed a few other guys before and it’s not a big deal or a scandal at all. why, is the question, can’t we treat sex exactly the same?

so, point one is: because the whole physical world is infused with symbolic meaning, the human body speaks a language of its own. we don’t assign meanings to the “words”, they’re inherent and universal. you can’t twist bodily actions to mean whatever you want them to mean, they’re going to go on saying what they really mean whether you want them to or not. a slap does not mean love; its violence is not and cannot be loving. a kiss does not mean hatred; Judas betraying Jesus with a kiss adds an extra layer of hurt to his deception.

point two: in order to exist happily and healthily in the world, we need to speak the truth with our bodies, and not try to twist the language of the body into saying something it isn’t. when we lie with the body, the whole real world we live in resists us. we’re trying to impose our own meaning by our own will onto something that already has its own meaning, given it by God, and quite frankly, God’s meaning is stronger and it’s gonna win. think of this as living in a state of denial—even if you can stay in your denial for a little while, eventually, reality will have its say, it will make itself felt. more on this later.

point three: sex, as a word in the language of the body, is saying something other than just “I feel love for you”—i.e. it is saying something different than a kiss. how do we know this? first of all, sex causes bonding on a chemical level in a way that kissing absolutely does not! secondly, sex creates children—and therefore exists on a very different level than kissing! both of these differences point to this: kissing as a “word” speaks about love as desire, when it says “I feel love for you” it’s mostly saying “I want you”. sex as a word speaks something more, it says something in itself about a commitment which is forever. what sex is saying is “I give all of myself to you and I receive all of you in return, we belong to each other forever”.

point four: the only circumstances in which sex can be spoken truly is marriage. sex speaks in the body the same total commitment that is made in the marriage vows, reiterating and confirming the mutual gift that has already been given.

this is sort of where it gets tricky (and where I think TOB speakers often fail their listeners), because when you’re dating somebody, if you’re not being disingenuous and stringing them along until you find something better, you do hope that you’ll be together forever. and so the more you fall in love with someone, the more you naturally (and appropriately, I’d say!) want to have sex with them, because you want to be able to express your longing for that forever. you don’t intend to lie with your body! you want to say what sex says and make it true in the saying of it!

I think the usual Christian response is to say “ah yes, but that forever isn’t yet promised or guaranteed, so you don’t know if it’s ever going to come”. and as much as the person currently head-over-heels in love doesn’t want to hear it, unfortunately it is very real. for every Jack who meets his first serious girlfriend in college, has sex with her because he really wants them to be together forever, and then marries her six years later having had sex with no one but her, there’s just as many (if not more) Jill’s who meets her first serious boyfriend in high school, has sex with him because she really wants them to be together forever, then is blindsided by a breakup and goes on to repeat the pattern with several more boyfriends before she finally finds the “one”. it’s a tragically common story, so common that the trauma of it is becoming harder to recognize. but it causes severe emotional and psychological harm, to give all of yourself to a person hoping for the gift to be received, only to have your whole self be rejected, or trivialized, or used and discarded. it takes tremendous courage for Jill to pick herself up and believe in love again, and often she’s disappointed over and over again. even when the “one” does appear and the gift is finally received completely in marriage, the scars don’t fade completely. I think a lot of people who get their happy ending end up experiencing that phenomenon of psychological backdraft, all their old sexual traumas bubbling up again now that they finally have a healthy sexual experience to know how it should have been. they then have to spend the honeymoon years of their marriage healing from everything that came before. so the usual Christian guidance is “you don’t want to go into marriage with all that baggage, so better to wait just to make sure”.

and while I do think avoiding trauma is generally a good idea, I think this is a little bit of a cop-out. for one thing, it kind of seems to be saying “don’t have sex with your significant other, because you don’t really know if they’re telling the truth about wanting to marry you”—that is, it’s encouraging you to not trust your partner. sure (she said sarcastically), that sounds healthy!! there has to be a better, more loving reason not to have sex with a significant other before marriage. and it’s this: if the Church’s teaching about sex and marriage are really true, then it is just as wrong for Jack to have sex with his girlfriend before marriage as it is for Jill to have sex with her boyfriend—Jack’s eventual marriage to his girlfriend doesn’t retroactively validate every instance of premarital sex! and if Jack having sex with his girlfriend before they got married is wrong, then what we’re saying is it must be hurting them. even though their love story ended happily! even though they did end up giving and receiving the gift of self completely! getting things “out of order” is hurting them and making them unhappy. this is the burden of proof, and it’s much harder than proving Jill’s sexual history is hurting her. and yet if we believe Church teaching, it must be true!

so we return at last to my above point two—in order to exist happily and healthily in the world, we need to speak the truth with our bodies, and not try to twist the language of the body into saying something it isn’t. and here’s the kicker: we are not God. we cannot make a thing so just by saying it. so no matter how understandable it is to try to create a relationship that will last forever by speaking forever with our bodies, it simply does not work that way. when the word is spoken out of the context which makes it true (i.e. when you have sex outside of marriage), it does not and cannot bring that whole context into being—it doesn’t create a vow of fidelity, it doesn’t create a shared life, it doesn’t create a public commitment. someone can have sex with you and then break up with you, someone can have sex with you and then get in their car and go home leaving you there by yourself to sleep alone, someone can have sex with you and then pretend you don’t exist. the sex, on its own, doesn’t create a slippery slope that leads swiftly and inevitably to marriage. it just creates tension between the life you actually have, unmarried, and the unreal life you’re pretending you have in sleeping with one another. it makes all those parts of yourselves that you haven’t shared stand out more strongly, making you feel every little separation as a wound. and instead of creating a sense of peace and security, it leads to a kind of desperate grasping feeling—“we’re acting like us being together forever is a done deal, but it’s not a done deal, it’s not set in stone, so what can I do to make it work, how can I control this, how can I make him want me enough to stay?” even if in the end Jack proposes, the foundation of the relationship has been damaged. it can be healed, and rebuilt! but it is not good for a relationship to develop under that kind of strain. not good, and not necessary.

what’s the alternative? when you wait to have sex until marriage, your dating years with a partner can be years of expectantly looking forward in hope, while also living in the moment. you are not married yet—so your relationship is not set in stone, you’re still deciding what kind of relationship you want to have together, which means it can still get better and better as you build it. talk a LOT! talk about everything! talk about your pasts, talk about your dreams for the future! work out your issues in the present instead of covering them over with physical affection! because you’re not burdened by the anxious desperation to turn a lie into the truth, you will be able to see more clearly what the strengths and the weaknesses of the relationship really are, which allows you to address your weaknesses and work on them! and because you’re not pretending like you’re already totally committed, the prospect of actually making a total commitment will be more and more attractive. when you’re not trying to act like you’re married already, it’s so much easier to have open conversations about the future you want together, and easier to know when it’s time right now to take steps to get there. and that’s exciting! it’s fun to have stuff to look forward to, it’s fun to make plans together!

it’s not a better way because there’s less collateral damage, because you’re hedging your bets playing it safe just in case something goes wrong. it’s a better way because it’s all about letting love develop in its own time, according to its own internal laws. I’m not gonna say “guard your heart”, as if your significant other was an enemy at the gates. instead, “guard your relationship”, because it’s worth protecting, worth giving every chance to be as happy as it can be.

[revelboo]

The Cassettes just taking full advantage of the situation

Alcohol Eyes Pt 8

Rumble x Reader, Frenzy x Reader

• Cheek on your outstretched arm, you listen to the brothers arguing about someone named Soundwave. Their leader? Desperately wanting a shower, but not sure if you can sneak off since Rumble has his servos wrapped around your ankle. So far he hasn’t let you out of his sight for longer than a few minutes. And you never did get your coffee. Rolling and sliding off the bed, a hand immediately snags your wrist. “I need a shower and coffee, baby.” You tug against Frenzy’s grip watching him frown. Because the minute he’d let you know he didn’t like the nickname, it had just been cemented in your head. Letting go, he and Rumble exchange a look. And you’re not the least bit surprised when they follow you to the bathroom. And your shower definitely isn’t meant for three.

• You’d lost that sheer covering at some point, and Rumble growls when you bend to fiddle with a handle until water’s running, realizing it’s a wash rack. The space ridiculously small as he follows you in, relaxing into the warm spray. And then Frenzy is crowding in, too, sliding to the wall so you’re trapped between them, laughing. Your amusement spilling into him, because you and this was something he never thought he’d have. Knows there’s not many left their size anymore and bigger Cybertronians tend to look down on them. Literally and figuratively. Tipping your chin up, his mouth brushes yours. “Love that laugh,” Frenzy murmurs, his own mouth on the side of your neck.

• Feeling you squirm between them, Frenzy slides his palms down your sides. Delves between your thighs just to make you gasp into Rumble’s mouth. Growling soft encouragement when he delves a servo inside you, letting your ride his palm. “You boys don’t believe in giving someone any recovery time,” you whisper against Rumble’s lips, words ragged. And then Rumble pushes you back into Frenzy, spike rubbing against your belly as Frenzy’s own is trapped against your lower back.

• “You can take more,” Rumble growls, helm brushing your forehead, but you hear the question in the aggressive words. Asking. They really are trying to kill you, but what a way to go. Fucked within an inch of your life. Fingers worming between you to find his spike, you gently tug and he growls. Frenzy’s hands sliding to your hips to lift you with casual strength. And then Rumble is pressing into you, pinning you against his brother. “Come home with us,” he groans, hips moving urgently, that thick spike driving relentlessly. Hear Frenzy’s back and shoulders hitting the tile with every hard thrust, feel him undulating against your back, rubbing his own spike against you. “Stay.” What would that be like? No more crappy job, no stress, just playing spouse to two horny aliens.

• Can’t make himself add the please, to beg, but he wants to. They could claim their own habsuite, spend every klik off rotation discovering one another. Can even let Frenzy stay with them, you’re so small, you’d be safer with both of them looking after you. Sharing. Hips pumping as your heels dig into him, he brushes his mouth over your face. And those need darkened eyes he’s starting to love open. “Okay,” you moan and he completely loses control, rutting against you hard and fast. Mouth claiming yours as he pins you against Frenzy, shoving his brother back against the wall as he grinds against you. Venting raggedly on a groan as he comes inside you. Unable to really believe he’s being allowed this. You.

• Grinding against your soft skin, Frenzy’s servos tighten on your hips. Only just met you, but taking you home? Keeping you? Primus, he’s all aboard with that plan. Shuddering as Rumble lazily thrusts against you, he whines and grips your shoulder in his denta, grinding until he overloads against you and you lay your head back against him. Catches that grin on Rumble’s face and knows he’s grinning, too. “Told you the club was a good idea,” he growls shakily at Rumble, letting his own head fall back against the tile.

Previous

[ayu-stuff]

Careful what you wish for...

This is not a story, but an announcement. An announcement that will make some princes and princesses' acorns and silly buttons twitch, I'm sure.

Some of you know @eratoxcalliope, also known as @akinkycouplereturns. Apart from a friendship that is increasingly developing these days, which I am most proud of, we've got a little... project in our hands, after she's realized something vital:

She married a child. Her husband is a completely overgrown toddler. A whiny little baby who needs some guidance in the grown-up world. As he's told me himself, he's only 29 months old! How cute.

So we've taken up the task of making the cutest, best behaved little princess out of him. It's so funny that such a big, strong man craves humiliation and exposure so badly. Behold my and Calliope's kiddo getting his lil bum spanked yesterday night:

Doesn't he look soooo cute? Humbled by his Momma and Papa for throwing a tantrum like the whiny toddler he is? He was all fussy bc we hid the computer cord that allowed him lose so much time playing big boy videogames he's still too little to understand... So we had to make him listen :p. Though I think she was too lenient on the little Princess...

He's at work rn, but when he gets home, this is the stupid lil outfit waiting for him on Momma's bed (bc he will be soon transferred to the guest room...):

Say it with me: awwwwww. Such a wittle kiddo with his cute schoolboy outfit!

Long story short, we're happy to announce we want to make his life miserable 🥰 since he's admitted us how eager he is to follow any humiliating rules we see fit. We're starting off with some easy-to-follow schoolboy rules that'll make him quiver for sure:

Appropiate language. Princess will always address the adults with respect and will not cuss or use big girl words.

Bedtime is at 8pm from now on. No buts.

No nasty hair below Princess' nose. We want a hairless little tot to make fun of.

Appropiate clothing. Princess will dress like the toddler she is at home, with little kid's underwear or pull-ups to be worn during the day.

Diapers will be worn for the night and Princess is expected to wake up wet in them. Waking up dry will be considered misbehaving.

Papa is to be greeted every morning and every night with a cute little girl voice mail. Failing to do so will have Princess punished.

Mama and Papa can always add new rules to this set if Princess misbehaves.

And that'd be it. I swear to God this is as real as pathetic it sounds. Stay stuned to see this little guy's descent to babyhood!

(And maybe, just maybe, my own descent to Calliope's bed...)

And don't forget to reblog. He'll hate love it.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Dialogue: Compliments

Compliment - a verbal or written remark that expresses admiration, respect, or praise for another person or group.

The definition of compliment includes the general expression of good wishes or affirmations on quality, as in the example sentence, “My compliments to the chef.”

Studies show that compliments can activate the brain’s reward center, promote positivity, and help build self-esteem and overall good mental health.

Types of Compliments

You can compliment anyone, from family members to coworkers to strangers on the street. Some compliments include the following:

Accomplishments: You can compliment someone about their past or recent achievements. You could compliment a significant personal win like reaching a career goal or a minor victory like guessing the word of the day on a challenging crossword puzzle.

Appearance: You can view these compliments as flattering comments about how someone looks on a particular occasion or about attributes like beautiful eyes, skin, or hair.

Creativity: Compliments about creativity might include kind statements about someone’s artistic ability or creative solutions to issues, projects, or problems.

Intelligence: When you compliment someone’s intelligence, you could give them a sincere compliment about a specific situation or playfully tell them they’re a smart cookie in a general sense.

Personality: Compliments about someone’s personality cover many areas and might include statements about the person having a great sense of humor, being a great listener, or always seeing the silver lining in difficult situations.

Whole person: You can compliment someone about how you view them, such as telling them they’re an awesome friend or a great sister.

Examples of Compliments to Give

The best compliments come from the heart and are unique and specific to the person you’re addressing. Consider the following compliment suggestions:

You have a beautiful smile.

You always light up a room.

I love your style.

That color looks great on you.

I love your sense of humor; you always make me laugh.

I’m impressed by your ability to stay calm and focused when things are stressful.

Your ideas are so innovative and fresh.

You’re always so helpful.

I appreciate your honesty.

I always have fun when I’m with you.

You’re stronger than you think you are.

I’m grateful you’re in my life.

You’re an inspiration to me.

You add so much to our community; I’m glad you’re here.

I admire that you always speak up with your opinion.

I always feel comfortable being myself around you.

You’ve brought such joy into my life.

I love how curious you are about how things work.

You’re such a good team player and considerate of others.

You’re so patient when dealing with others’ problems.

How to Compliment Someone

Giving a compliment might feel awkward at first, but with practice, you’ll experience the benefits of improved relationships and an overall sense of wellness. Follow these guidelines when giving a compliment:

Be specific. The more detailed your compliment, the more impactful it feels to the person receiving it. Telling someone they’re a good listener is lovely, but telling them about a specific time when they made you feel heard them feels more meaningful.

Embrace sincerity. Most people can sense when a compliment is insincere, so tell the truth when giving praise. Avoid giving compliments you don’t believe, such as telling them they’re attractive when you don’t find them attractive or telling someone they did a good job when they failed at the task.

Include strangers. Avoid reserving compliments just for people you know well. A well-timed and honest compliment to someone you don’t know can make their day, even if it’s about something simple. Avoid complimenting people you don’t know well on their physical appearance.

Notice the good things. Pay attention to your family, friends, loved ones, and coworkers, and note their good qualities and accomplishments. When you spend a lot of time with people, it’s easy to only focus on problems or negative issues that need solutions. Incorporate taking in the positive and giving compliments regularly to forge stronger connections and make a habit of noticing the good.

How to Respond to a Compliment

In some cases, you may find receiving compliments creates anxiety, especially if you suffer from low self-esteem. Follow these tips when responding to a compliment:

Avoid rejecting the compliment. Sometimes receiving compliments feels uncomfortable, making you impulsively want to give credit to someone else, turn it into a joke, or tell the person why you don’t deserve the accolades. Though you may feel all these things internally, do your best to avoid verbalizing your self-doubt, which could make the other person feel foolish or rejected.

Express your gratitude. Accept the compliment as you would a gift, saying “thank you.” If you wish, you can expand on your appreciation by adding how the compliment made a difference (either as a positive emotion or as an encouragement to keep going).

It’s about the giver as much as it’s about you. When someone compliments you, they tell you how your behavior or actions impacted them, which may feel like a vulnerable act for them. Remember that how you respond can have an emotional effect on the receiver.

Redirect compliments meant for someone else. If someone compliments you about an action or work you didn’t do, redirect them to the right person while supporting their desire to give a compliment. For example, if someone compliments you about a work project you didn’t do, you might say, “That’s so nice of you to say that! Actually, Kim completed that job. I’m sure she’d love to hear your feedback.”

Source ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[htaesan]

　ᅠ ✿　ᅠ GIVING YOU MY FOREVER　　────　ᅠ ( han taesan )

𝓹recis ⠀ : ⠀when han taesan, your boyfriend, notices you haven’t been answering his texts for the entire day, he sets out to figure out why𑁋only to find you sobbing alone on top of the hill.

　　　ᅠ 한태산 ⠀⠀◜◡◝ ⠀⠀𝒇 reader ⠀wc 0.8k ⠀ genre comfort fluff established relationship ⠀ contains mentions of family issues crying skinship ⠀ note this fic is highkey self-indulgent bc i wrote this when i was having a hard time </3 so it kinda doesn’t make sense? welp ⠀ tagging @a-dream-bookmark ,@/k-labels , @k-nets , @k-films , @sgz-net

　　　ᅠ ＞︿ 　　please leave feedbacks 　　& 　　reblog

“Hey, here you are.”

You didn’t have to look to know who it was—instead, you sigh deeply, letting the boy settle himself next to you. You throw your gaze far, letting your eyes capture the beauty of the night from atop the hill: the way the stars still shine despite being thousands and thousands of miles away, the way the city lights add a sparkle to the night’s black canvas. You take a deep breath, hoping that the smell of grass and the gentle breeze of autumn would bring some peace to your heart.

“You… okay?” you hear him ask after quite some time. You purse your lips, still not meeting his eyes, afraid all the tears might spill once you do. “You didn’t read my texts for the whole day.”

“M-maybe,” you manage. Your throat feels dry as you force your words out. “I’ll be fine.”

“You know,” he says, after a few moments. He places a hand on yours, his touch gentle and comforting. “You can tell me anything.”

You lower your head. 

Please don’t cry.

“I might not understand your pain, I might not fully understand what you’re going through,” he continues, his voice so deep and kind. “But I’m here. I’ll listen.”

“Even if you don’t want to tell me—or if you can’t find the right words to describe how you feel, I’ll be here. Always.” 

Under his hand, you clench your own. 

“I…”

“Okay?” 

You finally look up, turning slightly to meet his gaze. You bite your lower lip as you watch Taesan’s eyes widen slightly at the way your eyes fill with tears. His hands grab yours tight as he offers you a gentle smile. 

“I’m sorry,” you croak, lowering your head again as tears begin to spill. Taesan’s grasp remains firm, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. “I… I don’t know how to say this…”

Taesan smiles softly, squeezing your hands. “It’s okay. Tell me anything—just say anything that comes to mind, I’ll piece it together.”

“My parents,” you say, your words coming out one by one, in between sobs, “it’s stressing me out– I– is this my fault? Why– why are they fighting? I thought they– love– each other—”

You can’t stop it, your tears falling down your cheeks like raindrops in a storm, unstoppable and overwhelming. Your chest heaves up and down with each sob, your throat tight with a lump that makes your speech difficult to interpret. 

“Hey…” 

Taesan pulls you into a hug, causing you to hiccup in surprise. It engulfs you like a warm blanket on a winter night—you could smell Taesan: a mixture of champagne orange, passion fruit, sugar vanilla; the perfume his mother had bought for him. Immediately, your tears begin to flow down again, as Taesan’s warmth starts to become one with you. 

Taesan doesn’t let go—his embrace of you firm and comforting, telling you he’s there for you through every high and low. Taesan hugs you close, letting your heartbeat converge with his. He lets you cry your heart out in his arms, not giving a care in the world about how your tears are staining his favourite sweater. 

“I love you, Y/N,” he whispers, once your tears have subsided. 

“But… won’t you fall out of love, one day?” you ask him, resting your head against his chest. You close your eyes shut, trying to remove the memory of witnessing your parents’ fight from your mind. 

Taesan kisses the top of your head, resting his chin against it after. “Will I ever?”

“Maybe,” you mumble. 

“Darling,” Taesan says, causing butterflies to begin erupting in your stomach. He’s called you that for so many times already, yet it always catches you off guard. “If we love each other truly, we’ll always find a way to make things work, hm?”

He pulls away a little bit, and you look directly into his eyes. Taesan gives you a smile—different from his usual cheeky grin—beautiful, sincere, and ethereal. “Besides, we still have a long way to go before we get married, and before we die. We’ll have plenty of time to learn from our mistakes.”

“Married?” you exclaim, eyes widening. You smack his shoulder in an attempt to hide the blush that’s beginning to form on your cheeks.

“Yeah,” Taesan nods, folding his arms as he holds his neck from behind. “Why? You don’t like it?”

“Well… of course I love it,” you mutter, biting the inside of your cheek. After a while, you turn to him, narrowing your eyes. “But marriage is a serious matter, you know? I—”

Taesan kisses your cheek, grinning as he pulls away. “I know.”

You lock eyes with Taesan, the sparkling night around you, the gentle breeze blowing through. 

“And I love you, so seriously, to be doing it in the future. To be giving you my forever.”

― © htaesan, 2025.

[blinddreams24]

hello sorry if this is rude but I really like your blind dream au, do you have anything to share from it (art, writing, general ramblings) cause im really invested 👀

This is the first thing I ever drew of the series and it waited in Procreate for almost 5 months before I started the comic.

I’ve been around and watched several people and animals that are blind and they all tip their heads up to focus or listen. I really wanted to implement that into something and in the spur of the moment I made Blind!Dream.

Since he can’t see, Dream relies on his other senses to “see.” One of which, is his ability to sense emotions which makes it easy know when someone is nearby.

For reference, when I draw different colours:

Blue means sound

White means touch

Green means scent

Yellow/Gold means positivity

Purple means negativity

Due to Dream’s isolation in his own empty world, he had to learn to “see” with his hands and ears until he meets Nightmare and his gang. The gang think he’s an easy target but he just aims for where he can sense their souls. And since Nightmare is basically made up of negativity, Dream can “see” him the easiest.

I’ll maybe add more facts later but that’s all I can think of rn

Thank you so much for asking! I love asks!

[lunaroracleofvenus]

What manifestation technique is best designed for you? PAC

Left to Right

Pile one

This is my pile of witches and warlocks. The best way you manifest is through spells, and rituals. You have magic in your blooddddd hunnyy.  You might be highly mythical, intuitive, and just divine. Use this divine nature in a creative way, and all you desire shall manifest… this could be through glamour magic, love spells, abundance spells..

Pile two

These are my divine feminines. This pile best manifests by setting intentions and going with the flow. Working with the feminine via moon rituals, water element or just that shakti power will draw all you desire to you… there is a huge theme of co-creation and just feminine energy. This pile might need to release what doesn’t work emotionally and truly tap into their feminine wisdom when it comes to manifesting… what works for you, might not work for everyone else and that is okay… you might be alone in this power…

Pile three

This pile best manifest by mastering the earth element. This pile might be able to use scripting to manifest or just using the natural element to manifest. Could use some earthy/elemental witchcraft….

 But what i am hearing most is having self compassion and really devoting yourself to what you are trying to manifest = fruition of the desire. This might look like manifesting one thing at a time, and while you are manifesting it, you sleep, breath, and dream it. You continuously tap into the desire, and deeply ground yourself into the feeling consistently. Though remember balance, and leave a bit of space for life and your mental health. The whole saying, let it go and detachment for manifesting, DOES NOT apply to you. Your attachment to it really creates it…. This might be my obsessive manifestors… do you guys have any strong pluto in your charts btw???

Pile four

So there’s a lot of overdoing in this pile, and anxiety. There might be a lot of freezing and overthinking when it comes to choosing and sticking to what you are attempting to create. Rest assured it’s okay to feel how you feel at this moment. Rest assured that things will and can get better. Spirit is saying just remember to be ambitious, flexible but also grounded. Listen to where your intuition is guiding you. Manifesting isn’t supposed to add MORE problems to life. Like life can be difficult enough… stop taking it so seriously tbh. Like yes you can create change, but you create change in little and big practical ways everyday. From the moment you choose to brush your teeth, to the moment you decide on studying. Didn’t get much of a method for this pile! You might need to give manifesting a break and come back to it…

Pile five 

This pile might manifest best through chaos, and destruction. You seem to create great things from dark places. Where people see destruction, you see a moment to create. You might be really good at seeing people’s potential, and helping them shift into that.. How you can effectively use this power for yourself to manifest, I think is by doing shadow work, emotionally releasing rituals, and working with darker goddesses/gods. 

For example, let’s say you wanted to manifest a home, maybe journal about blockages you might have.. Do you feel undeserving? Do you feel its unattainable? Or maybe there is a childhood wound? Once you understand your depth, choose a ritual to release it, and then maybe channel those same feelings into getting what u want or set your desired intentions after you have released what doesn’t serve you?

Also,  I don’t know how to properly describe but channeling anger, fear and etc might work really well for you… being put through trials and tribulations might also work well for you… hopefully y’all get what im trying to put down <3

This pile gives me the vibe of the type of people that go through the most horrible break up and 6 months later, they look good asf and they make 5x times what they used to make…

Pile six

this is a very Venusian pile. This pile manifests best through instruments, dance, and music. Also having a communion with god as well… speaking to god, letting god/goddess know what you want.. Keeping that relationship with spirit will really help you..

Also, gratitude practices might really help you manifest your desired things. and, general affirmations might really work for you. Everything is as it should be. Everything is working out. I feel great.. those type of affirmations!

[jenanigans1207]

1/7/25: Petty

“Dude,” Sam says to Dean one night when they’re sitting in the library pouring over some boring ass books that haven’t helped them even a little bit up until this point. “What the hell’d you do to Cas?”

“Who says I did anything to him?” Dean asks without glancing up. “Dude’s weird, it’s probably nothing.”

A hand appears on the page that Dean was pretending to read, and it takes him a second to even realize it’s happened, blinking his attention back to the moment and glaring at Sam as he reaches out to smack the offending hand. Sam snatches his hand back before Dean makes contact, but the effect was successful because Sam now has Dean’s full attention.

“He’s taking everything I say so literally.” Sam explains, pausing as if he’s waiting for Dean to add something. When Dean doesn’t, he presses on. “We’ve known the guy for twelve years and even when he was his most angelic, he didn’t do this.”

“Sure he did.” Dean argued, the phrase no, he’s not on any flatbread circling around in his head.

But Sam shakes his head, a few long pieces falling into his eyes. “That was different. He didn’t know then. He’s doing it on purpose now.”

Dean sighs and scrubs a hand across his face. “He’s doing it to be a petty bastard.” He says finally. “On our last hunt I yelled at him because he never fucking listens or does what I ask him to do, which is how he got hurt. So now—”

“He’s taking everything said to him literally and acting it out exactly as he’s told to.” Sam fills in the blank.

“Yeah.” Dean says. “I was trying to ignore him hoping that he’d stop, but he only seems to be doubling down on being an ass about the whole thing.”

To Dean’s surprise, the only response Sam has to the whole situation is to burst out in laughter. It’s the kind of head thrown back, belly laugh that Dean hasn’t heard Sam do in years. It was the kind of laugh he cherished, because he used to get it so infrequently that he had to commit every second of it to memory. And even though Sam laughs more easily now, he still rarely laughs with this kind of unbridled joy— for a moment it makes Dean entirely forget about Cas and his petty revenge. Despite himself and despite the situation, Dean finds himself grinning a little too, just happy to see his brother happy.

“You really met your match,” Sam finally manages to choke out, still smiling in a way that’s happy but definitely verging on shit-eating. “For every pain in the ass thing you do, he returns the favor.”

“It’s not funny,” Dean grumbles, leaning back in his chair. He wants to take a swig of his beer but it’s empty and he doesn’t feel like getting up. “He needs to be more careful!”

Sam settles more comfortably in his own chair then and it’s the slant of his shoulders that tells Dean he should’ve gotten up to get the next beer because he’ll need it for whatever Sam is about to say. “Have you just tried telling him that you’re worried about him? And that it matters to you that he stays safe?”

There’s a lot of deflections and defenses that jump to the tip of Dean’s tongue, but he bites back on them. He’s been trying to be better to be at least a little more honest— with himself, Sam, and Cas. Nobody else was yet included in that honesty, but he figured he’d get there someday. So he swallows the immediate words he wants to say and glances down at the table.

“He should know.” He answers instead which isn’t much but it’s better and more vulnerable than anything else he would’ve said. At least it implies admission that Sam’s right about his true reason for being upset.

“I’m sure he does.” Sam agrees and there’s a sincerity in his voice that does actually comfort Dean a little. “But knowing it deep down and hearing it are different.” Sam explains, pausing before adding, “You know he loves you, but it’s still nice to hear, isn’t it?”

And goddamn it all, Sam has a point that Dean can’t even begin to deny. Because he does know that Cas loves him, knows it to the core of his very bones. But if Cas were to just stop saying it out loud, were to stop reminding him of just how much he’s loved, it would be hard for Dean. He wouldn’t doubt that love, but he would still struggle with it.

Dean groans and pushes back from the table, mumbling an affectionate and exasperated “bitch” under his breath as he leaves the room. He doesn’t have to travel far to find Cas, situated in the bathroom preparing to shave. Cas glances up when he walks in the door, their eyes meeting in the mirror. Cas’s hand stills where they were unrolling a towel over the sink in front of him.

“I’m so hard on you because I’m worried,” Dean blurts before he has the chance to lose his nerve. “I’m terrified of losing you and it scares the shit out of me when you get hurt on our hunts.” Cas’s eyes have gone impossibly wide in his reflection, but he doesn’t interrupt. “I don’t mean to be an ass, I just— I can’t lose you, Cas. You mean too damn much to me.”

“Dean,” Cas breathes, turning to face him properly.

“So there you go,” Dean scuffs the toe of his boot on the ground. “You can stop being a petty bitch now.”

Cas smiles as he steps up to Dean, reaching out to cup his elbow gently in a warm hand. “Thank you for telling me.”

“You knew, right?” Dean confirms.

“I knew,” Cas answers. “I couldn’t have been so petty if I had thought you were serious.”

“You’re such an ass.”

[sickeddyville]

I love you, Im sorry

Pair: zayne x reader

Prompt: you leave to protect him from Astra's curse

Note: this is the part 2 for the 'Guilt' fic, and yes it's still angst 😊. full on angst with a kiss at the end. The title was 100% inspired by gracie abrams i love her sm😞😞

Warning: not a happy ending (again) bcs being a zayne main means eating angst 24/7

Part 1 | Part 3

The plan is simple. Get away from him as far as possible.

As the taxi pulls up to the train station, your heart races. You have to do this, for his sake.

You walk towards the doors of the platform when, out of nowhere, you hear a voice.

"You think I didn’t know what you were planning?"

You freeze.

Zayne stands a few feet away, his eyes stern with a mix of hurt and disbelief. There’s an edge to his voice that you’ve never heard before.

Your breath catches in your throat as you turn to face him, unable to form words. You can only stare, heart pounding, as he steps closer. His gaze doesn’t leave yours.

"I thought I made it clear," he continues, his voice low but trembling with emotion. "You can’t just leave without telling me. Not again."

There’s pain in his voice, raw and real. "You think I wouldn’t notice? You think I wouldn’t know what you were doing?"

You open your mouth, but no words come out. You try to speak, but your throat feels tight. The guilt gnaws at you as you realize just how deep this is cutting him.

"Im doing this for you" you finally manage to whisper, but even then, it feels like the words aren’t enough. "If I stayed away, you will no longer suffer. From me." The words feel wrong, but they spill out anyway.

Zayne steps closer, his face inches from yours now, but you still can't find the strength to say anything. His hands reach for yours, and despite your inability to speak, he gently clasps them, his grip firm yet comforting.

"I don’t care about the curse, All I care about is you." His voice softens, but there's no mistaking the emotion underneath.

"How could you not care about the curse?" you ask, your voice breaking under the weight of the question.

You try to back away from him, but his grip only tightens, pulling you closer. "I can’t just stand there knowing how this will end," you add, the words tumbling out in a rush. "I can’t. If I stay—if I stay, the curse will keep following you. It will never stop."

Zayne’s expression falters for only a moment, but the determination in his eyes doesn’t waver. "Y/N, I don’t care about the curse," he repeats, his voice steady but the emotion evident in his gaze. "Listen. What I care about is you. I can’t stand the thought of losing you. Not like this."

"You can't just say that, Zayne..." The words leave your mouth in a strangled whisper, full of desperation, and Zayne’s grip tightens on you as if he can keep you from slipping away. His arms pull you in, and suddenly, everything you had been holding back—everything you had been running from—comes rushing forward.

Tears flood your eyes, hot and overwhelming. You can't hold it back anymore. Your sobs are muffled in his chest.

Zayne doesn’t speak, but his hand runs gently through your hair, his touch grounding and soothing. "You’re not hurting me, Y/N," he says softly, though the strain in his voice betrays the emotion he is fighting to keep in check. "I’d never want you to think that. You’re everything to me. And I’ll fight through this, no matter what it takes."

"There is no fighting it, Zayne..." Your voice is barely audible, the words slipping out of you to make him understand the impossibility of what he is trying to do.

"No." His voice was firm, unwavering. "I won’t accept that. I won’t accept losing you, Y/N. I don’t care what happens— We’ll find another way, together."

"We can’t..." The words caught in your throat, heavy with finality, but Zayne was still holding you close, his face inches from yours. He wouldn’t let go, his determination unwavering as he searched your eyes for any sign of hope. But you knew the truth. No matter how much you loved him, no matter how desperately you wished for a different ending, this was the only path that could be walked.

"Y/N..." he whispers, his voice shaking just slightly. "I don't want to lose you. I’m not going anywhere. Please."

"I care for you so much... this is why I’m doing this, Zayne," you say, your voice cracking. You pull back slightly, but you can’t bring yourself to meet his gaze. "Please understand."

Zayne is silent for a moment, his hands still resting on your arms. His grip tightens, but there is no anger, only something softer, more broken. His voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks again.

"How can I understand if you’re pushing me away? It’s killing me." His words sting, but there is no malice in them—just raw emotion, as if the weight of your distance is slowly suffocating him.

"You don’t—understand..." The words catch in your throat, heavy with emotion, and you can barely form the sentence. You pull back slightly to look up at him, your hands trembling as you wipe your eyes.

"I understand you think you’re protecting me," Zayne says gently, his voice low but steady. "But I choose you, no matter what the future holds. I care about you. Don’t shut me out like this."

You shake your head, your chest tightening as if the air has suddenly grown thicker. "You don’t get it, Zayne..."

"No, you don't get it" Zayne says softly, his hand lifting to gently cup your cheek, forcing you to look at him. "You’re my choice. You always have been. Always will be."

“Final boarding call for train 731 to Solivara City. All passengers please proceed to Platform 12 immediately.”

It was the last call. You had no more time to argue, no more time to pretend you could change fate.

You closed your eyes, squeezing them shut against the tears that had been threatening to fall. "I have to go, Zayne." Your voice wavering while forcing a smile.

Zayne stiffened, his hand gripping your arm as he pulled you closer, his voice hoarse with the emotion he was struggling to hold back. "Y/N. Don’t do this. Please..."

But you couldn’t. You couldn’t let him follow you into this mess, couldn’t bear the thought of him carrying that burden again.

"I love you, Zayne," you choked out, and before he could respond, you gently pulled away, turning towards the platform.

He stood there, frozen, his eyes wide with disbelief, his heart breaking in silence as you walked away.

The final call to board echoed in the air, but the weight in your chest grew unbearable with every step you took.

But then, just as you reached the entrance to the platform, a hand shot out, grabbing your arm gently but firmly. You froze, your heart pounding as you slowly turned to face him. Zayne was standing there, breathing heavily, his expression desperate.

"Y/N..." His voice cracked. The words he tried to say were lost in a tide of emotions, and for a long moment, neither of you spoke. There was only the sound of your hearts beating in sync, yet miles apart. You could see the vulnerability in his eyes, the depth of the pain you were trying to avoid, reflected in his gaze.

But this—this wasn't just about him. It was about you, about the curse that had haunted your lives, about everything you were trying to protect him from. You blinked away tears that threatened to spill over, your heart torn between the overwhelming need to be with him and the crushing guilt that had held you captive for so long.

"Please..." Zayne whispered, his voice barely audible. "Please don’t leave me."

The final call for boarding rang out again, but you couldn’t make yourself move. Everything in you screamed to stay, to let him pull you back into his arms, to forget about the curse, about everything you were running from.

But then you remembered—if you stayed, it would be the same story as before. He would suffer again, and you couldn’t bear to watch him sacrifice everything, again.

"I’m sorry," you whispered, your voice shaking. "I’m so sorry, Zayne."

Zayne's face crumpled, his hands trembling as he reached for you, his grip desperate. "Y/N..."

Without a word, you grabbed his face in your hands, pulling him down as you kissed him, fiercely, desperately— You poured all your love, all your regrets, and all your pain into that kiss.

But your heart was made up, and you pulled away, forcing your legs to move, your footsteps the hardest you had ever taken.

As you entered the train, you could still feel his presence. You could still feel his eyes on you. All you could do was shut your eyes, and ignore the ache building up inside your chest.

[valkyrieromanoff]

Hii dear. 😊

I had also another request.

Hope you don't mind.

I just love the idea of Hayden, Evan, and reader being like a trio like during the shooting of the prequels, from their meetings, interactions and all.

They become really close and Hayden and Evan grow really protective of the reader. 😍

Please share your thoughts with me.

Love ❤️

🎀 Ewan, Hayden and you as a trio 🎀

Hello there, I absolutely love the idea of them being a close-knit trio. Hayden and Ewan have always come across as genuinely kind, polite, and down-to-earth, so it's easy to imagine them building a strong and supportive friendship with the reader over time. From their first meetings on set to their growing interactions, you can really picture the bond forming naturally.

As their friendship deepens, I think Hayden and Ewan would not only become protective but also incredibly caring and attentive. They seem like the type to notice if you're feeling off and go out of their way to cheer you up or lend a listening ear. I imagine they'd create a safe, warm space where you could just be yourself, which makes the idea of their protectiveness even more touching.

And, of course, their chemistry and playful energy would add so much fun to the dynamic. You'd probably find yourself caught between Ewan's charming wit and Hayden's more subtle but equally endearing sense of humor, making for some unforgettable moments together. It's such a heartwarming ideia!

I wrote a little piece for you about them, hope you like ❤️🥰

Ewan, Hayden, and you were the inseparable trio. Whether on set or off, the three of you gravitated toward each other naturally, forming a bond that felt as though it had always existed. During filming, even if one of you wasn’t in the scene, the others would still linger on set, offering support, cracking jokes, or simply being present. It was a quiet sort of loyalty that came to define your friendship—a comforting constant in the chaos of production.

You and Hayden were in the middle of filming the meadow scene on Naboo. The warm sun beat down on the flower-covered field, your yellow floral dress fanning out across the grass as you followed the choreography of the scene. With a playful laugh, you lightly smacked Hayden’s chest after he rolled over and pinned you beneath him.

He chuckled in response, his boyish grin lighting up his face, and for a moment, it was easy to forget you were filming at all. The chemistry between you felt effortless, and as you sank deeper into your characters, it was almost as if the rest of the world disappeared.

Under one of the large umbrellas set up on the edge of the field, Ewan sat watching. He leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed casually as he observed the way you and Hayden moved through the scene. The connection between you two was impossible to miss.

As a friend to both of you, Ewan couldn’t help but feel happy to see how well you worked together. But a flicker of concern crossed his mind, too. If things ever went wrong, it could complicate everything. Still, he trusted you both—and, besides, the way you made each other laugh was something he couldn’t bring himself to worry too much about.

Long hours later, as the final take wrapped, you let out an exhausted sigh, your body sinking into the grass. Hayden offered his hand to help you up, his fingers curling around yours firmly yet gently. He steadied you with one hand on your back as you dusted yourself off, his touch lingering for a moment longer than necessary.

“Let’s get out of this heat,” Hayden said, his voice warm and teasing as he gestured toward the row of chairs under the shade.

Ewan, already seated, grabbed a couple of water bottles from the cooler beside him and tossed them your way. “Here,” he said, watching you both settle into the chairs next to him. “You two look like you’ve been baking out there.”

You laughed, unscrewing the cap of the water bottle and taking a long sip. “I feel like I’m melting,” you replied, fanning yourself with your hand.

“And yet somehow, you still look like you just stepped off a runway,” Hayden quipped with an easy grin, earning a playful eye roll from you.

Ewan snorted, shaking his head. “Careful, mate. Keep laying it on that thick, and you’ll scare her off.”

“Oh, please,” you said, nudging Ewan’s shoulder lightly. “I’m pretty sure you two are stuck with me, whether you like it or not.”

“Stuck?” Hayden raised a brow, pretending to be offended. “I think you’ve got it the other way around—we’re the lucky ones.”

The three of you fell into laughter, the kind that came easily and without hesitation. It was moments like this—when the pressures of filming and the weight of expectation fell away—that solidified your bond. Ewan’s wit and big-brother protectiveness, Hayden’s warm humor and sincerity, and your ability to balance them both made you the kind of trio people couldn’t help but notice.

And though none of you ever said it outright, there was something special in the way you supported each other, both in front of the camera and behind it. You had your own rhythm, your own language, and somehow, in this whirlwind of production, you had all become each other’s home away from home.

[starlaindisguise]

🪭🧪 Human Fantube designs because I can’t post one half of the Core Lights and not the other :] !!

Catching up on posting art !! I loved rendering this omga. Sooo fun to add all the halftones and colors…

Juuuust like last time I’m gonna add some design commentary. I am a happy yapper!

🪭 Fan: I made his hair spiky to represent the folds of the paper fan, and it's dyed reddish (although it's been fading for a while). Gave him some yellow-rimmed glasses, and even though they look like gold they most definitely are not haha. His red jacket is zipped up in a way that alludes to his shape as an object, and he has some flannel underneath to represent his patterning + he would totally wear flannels lol !! He has a tote bag for his laptop, and I didn't draw the pins that he has attached to it, but I'll do that at some other time. He has an II logo buckle attached to his baggy pants (with loads of pockets). And overall he's just a nerd doing nerd things. I love him :) I love his design, I feel like it uses the shapes of the object form pretty well :3

🧪 Test Tube: She has a translucent lab coat that is SO FUN TO RENDER oh my golly...I know it's highly unrealistic, but jeepers is it fun to draw! She has a green sweater and green eyeshadow to match, along with a headband to represent the lip of the test tube. She has some scars on her face from some of her more dangerous experiments and circular glasses. And she has a butterfly hair clip to represent Bot !! Although her design is more simple than Fan's, I incorporated a lot of long, rounded shapes pretty effectively !! Plus, I just love drawing her lab coat. I intend to give all of them alternate outfits at some point, but I CANNOT LIVE without her super cool coat. It's just so fun...

I love these designs just as much as my Lightbrush ones !! I will have to draw all of them together at some point :)

Anyways, thanks for listening to me yap! Have a nice day and make sure to get enough sleep 💝

[sad-grandfather-clock]

Oh my oh my, I didn't expect to end up on something like this, but here I am and I'll do it. Thanks for the tag, @goodoldfashionedlovergirls-blog!

last song: “Hymn To Virgil" by Hozier. I barely listened to anything else at all since December 6th, whoops. But I'm fine, I swear. Just tickles all the right spots in my brain.

favourite colour: Blue! Mostly the brighter shades of blue. And green. And I'm starting to really like yellow. I'm bad at choosing only one.

last book: I'm currently reading "The World According to Cunk" by, who would have thought, Philomena Cunk. It's hilarious and I think I've never laughed more reading a book.

last movie: "The Return" (2024), a retelling of the last sections of Homer's Odyssey. A surprisingly "quiet" movie, which doesn't use overly exaggerated sound effects (e.g. in fight sences), which I think is quite nice.

sweet/spicy/savoury: Spicy! I love spicy food, as long as it doesn't actively burn my esophagus lol. I only like sweet things occasionally, but this "ocassion" can stretch over two weeks and then I'll despise sweets for another four weeks.

last thing i searched online: "which wine do the brits like the most" - I'm not going to say anything about this 😂

current obsession: Good Omens. This is a Good Omens related blog, what else did you expect 😂 But, for real, it's bad. But I think I also need to add "watching thirsty Michael Sheen edits on TikTok", because, damn??

looking forward to: Finally getting back to a Good Omens fic I kind of abandoned last year. I'm hoping to get back into writing (my fics) soon, because I've got way too many ideas.

I don't think I get up to 10 people, because most of y'all already got tagged in here.

So, I'll sneakily add @startreklesbian here, even though we know each other already pretty well, but still! 😂

@aislinregin @lickthecowhappy @inezrable @handyowlet @echo-kaine @e-rated-beardo @mrnightingale

If you squint, those are ten! c:

10 People I'd Like to Know Better

Thanks for the tags @gaiaseyes451 and @beerok23!💜!💜

last song: Gloria by the Lumineers

favourite colour: Red, like a deep luscious red that you know would taste good if you licked it. Don't act innocent, you know exactly what I mean by that. Red is a color that you just know tastes good.

last book: I am currently trying to read the Witcher series (per @lickthecowhappy's suggestion) so I am at the start of the Last Wish

last movie: Moana 2 (I have young kidsssss)

last TV show: My oldest is almost 10 which means she stays up late. Which also means I have so little time to watch adult things. So we've been watching the Office with her. I think I want to watch the Good Place with her next tho (I've never watched it!)

sweet/spicy/savoury: Sweet followed very, very closely by spicy. Habanero maple syrup is one of my favorite things on the planet.

last thing i searched online: How to explain a 10 year career hiatus in a cover letter (looking to return to work since having kids. It's been an interesting experience so far).

current obsession: Have not moved on from Good Omens, but recently realized that my obsession may be more in my own little connected universe of fics that I wrote rather than the actual canon at this point😳. I'm sure once we get that first glimpse of red and white hair that will change very quickly.

looking forward to: Going back to work and having a more established adult life again, honestly. I've been so lucky to be home with my kids while they are young, but I am ready. And figuring out how my newfound passion for writing is going to fit into that new life of mine. Another big year of change over here for me, and I am eagerly looking forward to how the growing pains are going to make way for something beautiful beyond.

ten people i’d like to know better:

@addledmongoose, @di-42, @afrenchwriter, @haemey, @eybefioro, @alwaystuesday, @katspause, @alphacentaurinebula, @shadesofecclescakes, @ochre-sunflower and whoever wants to do it (but also feel free to ignore!)

[emjayewrites]

royalty • ibou konaté oneshot

SYNOPSIS: Ibou loves his wife — period, point blank. Part 2 to A King & His Queen

WARNINGS: cursing, mentons of religion, rude/judgmental parents - 18+

TAGLIST: @kj77, @ibouchouchou, @saturnville, @lev-1-1, @irishmanwhore, @certifiedlesbianbaddie, @f1-football-fiend @peyiswriting @tsukishimawhore @themaster-2007blog @sucredreamer @muglermami @rougereds

The notifications wouldn't stop buzzing. Ibou turned his phone face-down on the kitchen counter, but he could still see the ghost of those tweets behind his eyelids.

"Konate disasterclass today" "Man's head's not in the game" "25M down the drain"

He pressed his palms against the cool marble, letting out a slow breath. The match replayed in his mind – that missed clearance, the penalty, the whispers in the tunnel after. Everyone had off days, but this felt different. Heavier.

Upstairs, he could hear Saniya throwing up again. Fifth time today. She'd insisted it was just a stomach bug, but watching her get progressively worse over the past week had him worried sick. Add that to her mother's daily calls…

"Have you taken her to a proper doctor?" Mrs. Okafor had demanded yesterday, her voice sharp through the speaker. "Not those English ones. She needs traditional medicine. This wouldn't happen if she kept a cleaner house. I told her, working so much with those athletes isn't good for a wife—"

Ibou had bit his tongue. Hard. For Saniya's sake, always for Saniya's sake. But seeing his wife cry after every call, watching her try to balance her thriving sports psychology practice with her mother's endless expectations of what a "proper wife" should be – it was eating at him.

The sound of retching had stopped. He filled a glass with water and headed upstairs, finding Saniya curled up on their bathroom floor. Her curls were a mess, skin clammy, but she still tried to smile when she saw him.

"Don't even start," she warned weakly. "I know that face. I'm fine."

"You're not fine." He sat beside her, pulling her into his lap. "And I'm not fine watching you suffer."

"Rough day?"

Classic Saniya, deflecting to worry about him instead. "Don't change the subject."

She leaned her head against his chest, and he could feel the slight tremor in her body. "Mum called again."

"I bet."

"Says I'm making myself sick working too much. That if I was a proper wife, I'd…"

"Stop." He pressed his lips to her forehead. "You're burning up, mon cœur."

"It's nothing."

His phone buzzed again in his pocket. More notifications probably, more criticism, more noise. But right now, none of that mattered.

"We're seeing a doctor tomorrow," he said firmly. "No arguments."

"The team needs you for training—"

"You need me more."

She was quiet for a moment, playing with the hem of his shirt. "I saw what they're saying. On Twitter."

"Twitter's not real life."

"But it affects you. I see it in your eyes, in how you carry yourself lately." She looked up at him. "You're trying to shoulder everything alone. The match, my health, my mother…"

"Stop," Ibou's voice was gentle but firm as he held Saniya's hair back. "Whatever you're thinking about not taking care of me, stop it right now."

She slumped against him, exhausted from another round of sickness. The cool bathroom tiles beneath them were a stark contrast to the warmth of his chest against her back. "But the match—"

"The match was one match." He reached for the glass of water he'd prepared earlier, already knowing her routine. "Here, small sips."

"Your performance—"

"—is not your responsibility." He pressed a kiss to her temple, ignoring her weak protests. "And your mother," Ibou interrupted, choosing his words carefully, "is not in this marriage. This is about us. Right now, us means you resting."

"But—"

"No buts." He shifted them slightly so he could see her face. "You want to know what I need from my wife? I need her healthy. I need her safe. I need her to stop listening to voices that make her doubt herself."

A weak smile touched her lips. "Even when those voices are in my head?"

"Especially then." He brushed a curl from her forehead, checking her forehead once more. Still a bit warm. "Now, here's what's going to happen. We're going to get you back to bed. I'm going to call the doctor to schedule an appointment—"

"Ibou—"

"The gaffer already knows. Family first, always."

"The press will talk."

"Let them." He helped her up slowly, keeping one arm secure around her waist. "They don't know that every match I play well is because of you. Because you give me peace here," he touched his heart, "so I can focus out there."

They made it back to their bedroom, where he'd already propped up extra pillows and laid out her favorite blanket – the soft one she claimed helped with nausea.

"I love you," she murmured as he tucked her in. "Even when I'm rubbish at showing it."

"You show it every day." He knelt beside the bed, taking her hand. "Every time you watch my matches even though football bores you. Every time you listen to me overthink a play. Every time you just... see me. Not the footballer. Just me."

______________________________________________

"Lūk," her mother's voice crackled through the phone the next morning, the Thai term for daughter carrying waves of disapproval. "This is what happens when you don't listen to your mother. Working all day instead of taking care of your home..."

Saniya caught Ibou's eye across their bedroom as she sat propped against the headboard. He was laying out her clothes for the doctor's appointment, pretending not to listen but she could see the tension in his shoulders.

"Mae, please," Saniya sighed. "My house is clean. My work is important. And Ibou—"

"Ah, your footballer. He played badly the other day, no? I saw on the news. Maybe if you were home more—"

"Phɔ̄ mai?" Saniya interrupted, asking about her father, desperate to change the subject.

But her mother wasn't finished. "You know in Thailand, young wives know their place. Not running around and neglecting their duties. Now you're sick because—"

He gently took the phone from Saniya's trembling hand. "Mama," he said respectfully, though it cost him. "Saniya needs to rest now. We're seeing the doctor soon. We'll call you after."

Ibou ended the call before his mother-in-law could protest. Saniya's eyes were wet.

"Hey," he murmured, sitting beside her. "None of that."

"She's right about one thing," Saniya whispered. "I haven't been taking care of you properly. Your match—"

"Stop." His voice was firm but gentle. "None of this is on you."

She leaned into him, and he could feel her slight fever through his shirt. "I just wish... I wish I could be what she wants without losing who I am."

"Who you are," Ibou said carefully, "is exactly who you're meant to be. My wife. Dr. Konaté. The woman who helps athletes find their strength again." He pressed a kiss to her temple. "Your mae just needs to understand that."

Another wave of nausea hit her then, and Ibou held her hair back as she heaved into the bathroom basin. His phone lit up with another notification – the gaffer wanting to discuss his performance – but it could wait.

Liverpool's spring was more like winter's stubborn little sister, refusing to let go. Rain peppered their Range Rover's windshield as Ibou navigated through morning traffic, one hand on the wheel, the other holding Saniya's. She'd barely managed breakfast – just a few sips of tea and a nibble of toast.

"Bismillah," he whispered, stealing glances at his wife's pale face. The weather had been brutal lately, nothing like the gentle warmth they'd left behind in Dubai months ago. Maybe that's what she needed – another escape to the sun, away from Liverpool's relentless grey and her mother's equally relentless calls.

Saniya dozed against the window, wrapped in one of his hoodies despite the car's heating being on full blast. Ibou's mind wandered as he drove, prayers falling from his lips without thought. "Ya Allah, keep her safe. Keep her healthy." The morning light caught her wedding ring, and his heart squeezed. She was everything – his heart, his home, his peace.

At the private clinic, Ibou didn't let Saniya lift a finger. He helped her from the car, one arm secure around her waist, shielding her from the drizzle with his body. Inside, he handled all the paperwork, rattling off her symptoms to the receptionist while Saniya leaned against him.

"Started about a few weeks ago," he explained, rubbing slow circles on her back. "The vomiting's getting worse, especially in the morning. Fever, fatigue…"

In the exam room, he helped her change into the paper gown, his large hands unusually gentle with the ties. "Your hands are freezing, bébé," he murmured, catching them in his. "We need to get you somewhere warm. Dubai was good for you—"

A knock interrupted his planning, and a nurse entered with a friendly smile and a small plastic cup.

"What's this for?" Ibou asked, even as Saniya took it with knowing eyes.

"Just routine," the nurse explained. "We always do pregnancy checks with these symptoms, especially in young married couples."

Ibou's eyes widened. The cup nearly slipped from Saniya's fingers, but he caught it automatically, his mind racing. Morning sickness. Fatigue. The weird crying jag over a puppy commercial last week. They'd been letting nature take its course, trusting in Allah's timing, but somehow he hadn't connected the dots…

"Oh," he said softly, looking at his wife. Her eyes were huge in her pale face, a mix of fear and something else – hope, maybe?

"I'll give you a moment," the nurse said kindly, closing the door behind her.

Saniya's hands were trembling. "Ibou…"

"Hey." He knelt in front of her, taking her face in his hands. "Whatever this test says, we're in it together. Allah's timing is perfect, remember?"

She nodded, tears spilling over. "Help me up? I'm still a bit wobbly."

"Always."

The minutes crawled by like hours. Ibou paced the small exam room, stealing glances at Saniya who sat perched on the exam table, fingers twisted in the paper gown. When the doctor finally returned, her smile told them everything before she even spoke.

"Congratulations," she said warmly. "The test is positive."

Ibou's legs went weak. He gripped the edge of the exam table, his other hand finding Saniya's automatically.

"How... how far along?" Saniya's voice was barely a whisper.

"Based on your symptoms and timeline, I'd estimate about six weeks. We'll do some blood work to confirm everything, and then schedule an ultrasound for next week."

Ibou couldn't stop staring at Saniya's still-flat stomach. Subhanallah. Their baby was in there. Their miracle.

"I should mention," Saniya spoke up, "I've had some spotting..."

The doctor nodded reassuringly. "That can be completely normal in early pregnancy. However," she turned to include Ibou in her explanation, clearly recognizing the worried crease between his brows, "we'll want to monitor it. Any heavy bleeding or severe cramps, you come straight to hospital."

"What about nausea medication?" Ibou asked, already mentally cataloging everything Saniya had eaten in the past week. "She can barely keep water down sometimes."

"We'll prescribe something safe for pregnancy. And I'm giving you a list of recommended supplements." The doctor smiled at Ibou's intense focus. "I can see she's in good hands."

"The best hands," Saniya agreed, squeezing Ibou's fingers. She knew that look in his eyes – he was already planning, protecting, providing.

After the doctor left them to get dressed, Ibou helped Saniya down from the table, pulling her into his arms. For a long moment, they just stood there, holding each other.

"We're having a baby," he whispered against her hair, voice thick with emotion.

"You're going to be impossible now, aren't you?" But her eyes were sparkling when she looked up at him. "Even more protective than usual?"

"You have no idea." He pressed his forehead to hers. "Allah has blessed us with the most precious gift. You're carrying our little miracle."

"Speaking of carrying..." She raised an eyebrow. "I can still walk, you know."

"Debatable." His hands spanned her waist reverently. "Doctor said rest. And fluids. And—"

"Ibou."

"Hmm?"

"Kiss me first. Then you can start your master plan of wrapping me in cotton wool."

He laughed softly, bending to comply. When their lips met, he could taste both their tears of joy.

"Your mother's going to flip," he murmured against her mouth.

Saniya groaned. "Can we not? Just for today? Let's keep this just for us right now."

"Whatever you want, ma belle." His hand drifted to her stomach. "Both of you."

The rain had stopped when they left the clinic, weak sunshine breaking through Liverpool's clouds like a blessing. Ibou helped Saniya into the car with exaggerated care, ignoring her amused eye-roll.

"We need to stock up on ginger tea," he said as he pulled out of the parking lot. "And crackers. And maybe we should get one of those pregnancy pillows? I saw them online—"

"Habibi," Saniya interrupted fondly. "We have time."

"I know, I know." But his mind was already racing ahead – baby-proofing the house, converting the spare room into a nursery, making sure Saniya had everything she needed to be comfortable.

At a red light, he caught her watching him with that soft look she got sometimes, like she could see right through to his soul.

"What?"

"Nothing." She smiled. "Just thinking about how lucky this baby is, having you for their baba."

His heart did a funny flip at the word. Baba. He was going to be a father.

"Ya Allah," he breathed, overwhelmed by the magnitude of it all.

"We're going to be okay," Saniya assured him, reading his mind as usual. "All three of us."

_______________________________________________

Three weeks had passed in a blur of morning sickness and secret smiles. The match against Arsenal was electric – Ibou playing like a man possessed, each tackle precise, every clearance perfect. The roar of Anfield was deafening. Ninety-third minute, and Ibou had just made a goal-saving tackle that had the Kop singing his name. When the final whistle blew – Liverpool 2, Arsenal 0 – he dropped to his knees, pointing skyward. "Alhamdulillah," he whispered.

Saniya watched from the family section, her aunt's hand tight in hers. "Your husband," Aunt Malai said proudly, "plays like a tiger."

After showering, Ibou found Mo in the tunnel. "Mashallah, brother," Mo grinned, clapping him on the shoulder. "Whatever's got you flying today, keep it up."

Ibou just smiled, ducking his head. "Allah is good."

"Alhamdulillah, all the time."

Once the aftermatch rituals were over — handshakes, quick interviews in which he credited the team and Allah's blessing — Ibou found them waiting by the family entrance. Saniya's eyes were bright with pride and something else, that secret joy they'd been carrying these past weeks.

"Good performance today," Aunt Malai beamed. She reached up to pat his cheek, and Ibou bent down obligingly, earning a laugh from Saniya.

The drive home was full of Aunt Malai's chatter – about the match, about how handsome Ibou looked in his kit ("But too thin! We must feed him more!"), about how lovely Saniya's new coat was. It was so different from her sister's critical commentary, like night and day.

Their kitchen soon filled with the aromas of Thailand – lemongrass, galangal, coconut milk. Aunt Malai had insisted on cooking, shooing them both to the breakfast bar while she worked her magic.

"Noo chai," she called Saniya by her Thai pet name, meaning little mouse. "Taste this tom yum goong. I made it mild for your stomach."

The fragrant soup steamed in a bowl, alongside green curry chicken made with halal meat and a mountain of jasmine rice.

"Ibou, sit, sit!" Aunt Malai urged, pushing a bowl toward him. "You played like a warrior today. You need to eat!"

Under the table, Saniya squeezed his hand. Their eyes met, and she raised an eyebrow in question. He nodded, heart swelling.

"Khun Pa," Saniya addressed her aunt softly. "We have something to tell you."

Aunt Malai set down her spoon, eyes sharp. "Yes, lūk wăan?"

"I'm pregnant."

The spoon clattered. "Jing jing? Really?" Tears sprang to Aunt Malai's eyes instantly. "Oh, my sweet ones!" She was up and around the table in a flash, pulling them both into a fierce hug.

"The baby will be so beautiful," she sniffled, patting Saniya's still-flat stomach. "Those curls with these cheekbones!" She pinched Ibou's cheek lovingly. "Have you told your mae?"

Saniya shook her head.

"Good." Aunt Malai's face turned serious. "Don't tell her until you're ready. That sister of mine…" She clicked her tongue. "Don't worry, I will speak to her about how she treats you both. She forgets what it means to have a kind heart."

"Khun Pa, you don't have to—"

"Nonsense. Someone must remind her that love is not about control." She cupped Saniya's face in her hands. "You are perfect exactly as you are, noo chai. Both of you."

Ibou pulled Saniya closer, dropping a kiss on her temple. She'd been so much more relaxed with her aunt here, laughing more freely, the shadow of her mother's disapproval temporarily lifted. Allah forgive him, but sometimes he couldn't help thinking Aunt Malai should have been Saniya's mother. The woman had never married, choosing instead to pour her love into her nieces and nephews. But Saniya – creative, stubborn, beautiful Saniya – held a special place in her heart.

"You know," Aunt Malai continued, laying out steaming dishes on their kitchen island, "when you were little, noo chai, you used to say you'd marry a prince."

Saniya groaned. "Khun Pa..."

"Well," her aunt gestured to Ibou with her serving spoon, "you did better. You married a king."

"Now you're just trying to make him blush," Saniya laughed.

The revelation about the baby turned dinner into a celebration. Aunt Malai insisted on calling her favorite Thai restaurant in Liverpool to order mango sticky rice – "for dessert, for the baby!" She peppered them with questions about symptoms, about doctor's visits, about their plans.

Later, after Aunt Malai had retired to the guest room, Ibou held Saniya close on their sofa. "Your aunt," he murmured into her hair, "is a gift from Allah."

"She's what mothers should be," Saniya agreed quietly. Her hand drifted to her stomach, where their miracle was growing. "Our baby is going to have the best Khun Ya."

The Thai word for grandmother sounded like a promise. A reminder that family wasn't always about blood – sometimes it was about who chose to love you, wholly and without conditions.

Gender reveals weren't traditionally Muslim, but like many things in their interfaith marriage, they found their own way to celebrate while respecting both cultures. The gathering at their home was a beautiful blend – Islamic prayers for the baby's health mixed with Thai customs and modern celebrations.

Their spacious living room buzzed with voices in French, English, Thai, and Arabic. Trent was trying to convince Mo that his gift was the best ("It's a custom Liverpool kit!"), while Virgil's wife helped arrange platters of mixed halal and Thai dishes that Aunt Malai had supervised.

Saniya couldn't keep still, moving from group to group, her hands constantly in motion as she talked – a stim that helped her ADHD brain process all the excitement. Her baby bump, now prominent at six months, was draped in a flowing sage green dress that made her skin glow.

"Lūk!" Her mother's sharp voice cut through the chatter. "Sit down! This is too much walking."

Ibou watched his wife's shoulders tense. Just last week, Mrs. Okafor had been berating Saniya for being "lazy" during her sabbatical from her practice. The time in hospital from stress had scared them all, but her mother's reaction – showing up unannounced in Liverpool, armed with criticism – had only made things worse.

"Mae," Saniya started, but her father stepped in.

"Enough," Mr. Okafor said quietly. His voice carried the weight of last week's stern conversation with his wife. "Let her be happy."

The tension broke as Ibou's little sister squealed, "Time for the reveal!"

They'd kept it simple – a large black balloon filled with either pink or blue confetti. Ibou's parents stood close by, his mother already wiping tears. His teammates had their phones ready, though they'd promised not to post until after. Even Didier had flown in, standing proud like an uncle.

"Together?" Ibou asked softly, pulling Saniya close.

She nodded, her free hand still moving in excited patterns against her bump. "Together."

The pop seemed to echo. Pink confetti rained down.

A girl.

The room erupted. Ibou's mother burst into proper tears, his father immediately starting prayers of gratitude. Aunt Malai called out Thai blessings, her voice carrying over the cheers of his teammates.

"Une petite princesse," Ibou's sister squealed, already planning shopping trips.

But Ibou watched Saniya's face – pure joy, pure peace. This was how she should always look, not stressed in a hospital bed, not tense from her mother's words.

"A girl," Saniya whispered against his chest.

"Our girl," he corrected, kissing her there in front of everyone.

Later, after Cama and Trent had argued over who'd be the better "uncle", after Mo had blessed them three times, after Mrs. Okafor had been quietly but firmly led away by her husband (following critiques of everything from the "wasteful" pink decorations to how Saniya "shouldn't mix religions like this"), they curled up on their bed.

Virgil's wife had organized the cleanup, understanding new parent exhaustion. Pink confetti still sparkled in odd corners, Thai garlands draped over prayer beads, different worlds meeting just like them.

"She's going to be perfect," Saniya murmured, both hands cradling their bump. "Strong like her baba."

"Kind like her mama," Ibou added. "Free like her mama too."

Because that was their silent promise to their daughter – she would be free to be herself, to move how she needed, to love what she loved. No criticism would dim her light.

Their princess kicked, strong and sure, as if agreeing.

Amira Malai Konaté arrived on Christmas morning, just as the first snow of winter dusted Liverpool's streets. She came into the world strong and loud, just like her mother, with a head full of dark curls and her father's eyes. The delivery room had been peaceful – Ibou reciting quiet prayers while Saniya brought their miracle into the world, Aunt Malai waiting just outside with excitement and love.

The timing couldn't have been more perfect. Liverpool had just secured the Carabao Cup in a thrilling final against Manchester City, Ibou playing the full ninety minutes with a newfound calm. That calm, he'd later tell his teammates, came from knowing Saniya was safe at home with Aunt Malai, their little one choosing to stay put until after baba had brought home some silverware.

"Mini Konaté knows how to make an entrance," Mo had joked.

Now, three weeks into parenthood, Ibou found himself discovering a whole new kind of joy in the quiet hours between midnight and dawn. Like tonight, pacing their bedroom at 3 AM, Amira snuggled against his chest in her tiny Liverpool sleeper – a gift from "Uncle Trent" who'd had it specially made.

"She has your temper," he whispered to Saniya, who watched them from their bed with tired eyes and a soft smile. Amira had been crying for an hour, but each tear was precious to him. Every midnight feeding, every tiny grip of her finger around his, every perfect yawn – it was all miracle.

"She has your lungs," Saniya countered, reaching for the water bottle Ibou had started keeping on her nightstand. "And your determination. When she wants something, she wants it now."

"Allah's perfect timing," he murmured, swaying gently as Amira finally settled. "Just like her mama – knows exactly what she wants."

The ban on Mrs. Okafor had come two days after the birth. She'd arrived unannounced at the hospital, somehow slipping past the security measures Ibou had arranged. Within minutes, she'd started: the "Muslim name" they'd chosen was too foreign, Saniya wasn't holding the baby correctly, their house wasn't properly prepared according to Thai traditions.

It was Mr. Okafor, usually so diplomatic, who finally snapped. "Juling," he'd said, his quiet voice carrying years of built-up frustration. "You will not poison this joy like you've tried to poison everything else. Until you can speak with love, you will not speak to them at all."

The silence that followed was deafening. Mrs. Okafor had left in tears, but for once, they weren't the manipulative kind. Something in her husband's words had finally reached her.

Now, Aunt Malai ran their household with gentle efficiency, showing them how love should flow. She cooked Thai soups for Saniya's recovery, teaching Ibou the exact temperature for testing bath water, singing Thai lullabies about brave warriors and kind hearts to Amira.

"In Thailand," she'd explain, preparing another batch of khao tom mat for Saniya's midnight cravings, "we believe babies choose their parents. Amira chose well."

The team's response to their Christmas miracle had been overwhelming in the best way. The WhatsApp group was now basically Amira's fan club. Virgil, usually so stoic, turned to absolute mush around her. Mo brought prayers and blessings, along with his wife's homemade Egyptian dishes. Even Cama had FaceTimed from Madrid, demanding to see his "petite nièce."

"Your teammates are something else," Saniya laughed one evening, showing Ibou the latest delivery – a custom-made baby bouncer with "Future Captain" embroidered on it, courtesy of Henderson.

"They're family," Ibou said simply, watching Amira sleep in her bassinet. "Just like she's already got the whole squad wrapped around her finger."

Amira's name held all their hopes – Amira, Arabic for "princess," chosen by Ibou during one of their late-night talks about dreams and futures. Malai, after the aunt who showed them what motherly love should look like, who stepped in when they needed her most. And finally Konaté, binding all their cultures together in this tiny, perfect package.

Winter stretched ahead of them; Liverpool sat top of the table, but for once, football wasn't Ibou's primary focus. These precious weeks were for learning every perfect detail of their daughter – the way she scrunched her nose just like Saniya when she was about to cry, how she already reached for her father's voice, the peaceful sighs she made when finally drifting off to sleep.

"Remember our first night in Dubai?" Ibou asked one morning. "When you said something about feeling complete?"

"Mhm," Saniya hummed, watching them from their bed. "Little did we know…"

"Allah's plan is always perfect." He settled into the rocking chair Aunt Malai had insisted they needed, Amira quiet and content in his arms. Outside, Liverpool's endless snow was cold, but inside their home, it was nothing but warmth.

Their little miracle had her mother's strength, her father's gentle heart, and the love of two cultures flowing through her veins. In her perfect face, they saw everything they'd built together – every prayer answered, every struggle overcome, every moment of faith rewarded.

"Je t'aime, ma princesse," Ibou whispered, watching the sun rise over another perfect morning with his girls. Saniya had drifted back to sleep, one hand still reaching for them even in dreams. Amira blinked up at him with those eyes that mirrored his own, and his heart expanded impossibly further.

This was what they'd been waiting for, he realized. Not just a baby, but this complete circle of love. Their daughter would grow up knowing only acceptance, only joy, only the kind of love that bridges continents and cultures. She would have her mother's fire, her father's faith, and the unshakeable knowledge that she was wanted, cherished, chosen.

Football would continue, life would get busy again. But these moments – these quiet, perfect moments with his miracle and her mother – these would sustain him through everything. Because now they were complete. Now they were home.

[michaelmilligan]

The Jonmartin manifesto no one asked for but needed to get out

So, I've not been in the tma fandom for long yet, having only listened to it for the first time a few months ago. But from browsing the Jonmartin (and teaholding and jmart) tag regularly, it seems to me like most jonmartin shippers fall into one of these two categories:

They would find each other in every universe; or

It's a miracle they even got together in this universe

(Obviously, that's an oversimplification, and people who express one view in one post can easily hold a different view at another time - these are fictional characters we're talking about after all, and headcanons don't need to be consistent and can even contradict each other. This is just the general vibe I got so far.)

Anyway, I wanted to add my own two cents on the topic, because while I understand where both of these views are coming from, I think neither of them is ultimately correct.

(Putting the rest under a read more - be warned that this is NOT a spoiler-free post, so if you haven't finished listening to TMA yet and you want a spoiler-free experience, you probably shouldn't read this.)

So, before we get to my own opinion, let's first look at where the two options I mentioned above come from, shall we?

"They would find each other in every universe"

Obviously, this view is highly romantic - star-crossed lovers, finding each other again and again. It is both a good foundational basis for AUs, and a ray of hope in the face of the tragedy that is the tma finale.

Of course, concerning the finale, this is a rather different take than concerning AUs (since it would mean the very same characters finding each other again in a different world, not fundamentally different characters, shaped by said other world, also finding each other). And maybe when people express this view, they mean more the finale fix-its than AUs, though I suspect that plenty of people mean both.

It's a nice, comforting thought. And don't we all need some comfort after the finale? Yes, we certainly do. (Except for the people who read only hurt without comfort and angst, I guess. You do you, and I'm glad you're having fun, but personally I do desperately need some comfort, lmao.)

Is this view supported by canon though?

Cynical minds would say no, and personally I'm more inclined to agree with them, though as I've said, for me the truth lies outside of those two rigid stances (somewhere in between, I suppose).

I don't see much in canon which points to Jon and Martin falling in love under any circumstances/in any universe, especially considering their... let's say difficult relationships at the start of the show. But of course we must also take into account the specific circumstances in canon (more on that below) and interpretations vary, and I do very much enjoy AUs, so I'm certainly not trying to throw shade if you're on this side of the 'divide'.

Mostly, I think there CAN be other circumstances in which those two get together, outside the canon ones. (I'm writing a canon-divergent jonmartin fic myself, lol.) Let's get into that while we look at the other view, shall we.

"It's a miracle they even got together in this one"

Ah, the Martin-approved stance. One could say 'well, they literally said it in canon' and be done with it. However, that would require us to believe that the opinions of the characters are always true and correct, which. Lmao. We only have to listen to season 2 of tma to know that this is very much not the case.

And even if S5 Martin is not S2 Jon at the height of his paranoia, he's still very much a man shaped by his own life and experiences. I'm sure he would call himself a realist, but he honestly seems more like a pessimist to me. Which is understandable, given his life, and his association with the Lonely, which has often been (in my opinion accurately) compared to depression.

The thing is, Jon did treat Martin horribly in S1, and then he admittedly treated everyone horribly in S2. It was only in the course of S3 that their relationship got more, let's say, equal, with Jon no longer thinking Martin would be 'contributing nothing but delays'. (And then of course we have S4, which I LOVE even though it hurts me deeply. Then again, that's the whole show. And, obviously, S5 my beloved.)

So. Jon seemed to hate Martin in S1, while Martin was arguably already in love with the man. (Arguably. We do know that he acted catty to Basira in S2, so it's reasonable to assume that he started liking him at some point in S1, or even before the show started.) Then a lot of traumatic things happened, and they got together.

This means it must be the traumatic things that made them compatible, right? Just like Martin says in S5?

Well, one could see it that way. Jon certainly changed over the seasons, coming off his high horse and such. (In S5, he arguably gets back on it quite a bit, but then he IS the Eye's specialest little princess in a world that's literally ruled by it. And also he is slowly losing his grip on his own humanity. But I digress.)

And I do think that the trauma channeled a lot of those changes - the first time we see Jon being actually emotionally open (something he still struggles with over all seasons, because people don't just change fundamentally that quickly) is during Prentiss' attack on the Institute. They're in a situation where they might reasonably die (they even expect it, because they don't know that Elias is just rubbing his greedy little paws as he waits for things to get worse before he saves them with the gas).

I do think that moment could have been a big turning point for Jon and Martin, if it hadn't been immediately followed with the discovery of Gertrude's body, and Jon's subsequent descent into paranoia. Jon opened up, and also saw that Martin was rather competent during the attack, which could have led to them becoming closer, respectively having at least something like a normal work relationship.

But then Jon got paranoid and interpreted everything he saw negatively, including Martin's competence, which was twisted in his mind to 'What if he's just been pretending to be incompetent and is actually an evil agent out to kill the archivist'.

(Big sigh.)

Anyway, before I lose myself in the red string as well: Yes, Jon seems to 'mellow' over the seasons, especially with regard to Martin, at the same time that he's going through terribly traumatic events.

But does that mean that it's actually the trauma that's changing him and his relationships? Partly, certainly, but I would argue that trauma doesn't make you nicer or kinder. It might make you realise some things, but that doesn't mean that you can't realise those things in other ways.

And does it means that they couldn't have come together if they had met under different circumstances? Also not necessarily! I would even argue that the specific circumstances they met under were detrimental to Jon's first impression of Martin. And yes, this goes beyond the dog story.

So let's try and dissect their relationship from the start.

A theory of... something like nuance, or whatever

The starting situation

(Yes, I did have to use a Supernatural gif, thank you for asking. No, I will not apologise. <3)

Alright. So let's start with what we actually know about Jon and Martin's first meeting. Obviously, there's the dog story, though as far as I know that's not 'canon' because it wasn't actually in the podcast. I still like it, and think it adds another reason to Jon's behaviour, though I don't necessarily think it's necessary, because Jon already had lots of other reasons to tell himself that Martin wasn't worth his time.

1.1. Jon has issues. More at 11.

First of all, we learn throughout the podcast that Jon doesn't actually have any qualifications to lead an archive. He's probably 29 when the show starts (in 2016, going by the fandom wiki stating that he was born in 1987, which is reasonable given everything we learn about his age).

So, he's 29 and suddenly appointed, after four years of working in one department, to become the head of a completely different department. He does not have a degree that would give him credentials for leading an archive, nor are we told that he has ever even worked in an archive. For all we know, and that he knows, he is woefully underqualified. (This is also, I think, highlighted in S2 when Jon threatens to resign, only to then be baffled by Elias saying that he would be difficult to replace. Elias means something completely different than his skill set as an archivist with a lower case 'a', presumably, but then Jon doesn't know that.)

This means that Jon is in a highly stressful position, because he's trying to do a job he doesn't actually know how to do, while also trying not to let on that he doesn't know how to do it!

It doesn't help that Jon is also terribly scared of what all might be lurking in the shadows (or even in the light), as he himself admits during the Prentiss attack. He is extremely high-strung from day one, basically a wet chihuahua shaking in a slight breeze, while trying to seem like a strong bulldog.

We also know that Jon asked for two people to be his assistants: Tim and Sasha. They both worked in research, and Sasha also briefly worked in artefact storage, making them both qualified to help Jon with following up on statements. But I think more than their qualifications, Jon probably requested them because he knew and got along with them.

Imagine: Your boss tells you that he's promoting you into a position you're not qualified for and which you have no real clue how to do. Wouldn't you rather have people around you who you're already friendly with, and who are likely to cut you some slack if you're not perfect on day one? I know I would!

1.2. Elias is a little shit and I want to kill him with hammers (affectionately)

And then Elias transfers Martin.

I'm going off the dog story again, because again, I like it, and I think it does fit neatly into canon. If this story is to be believed, Elias neither asked nor did he tell Jon that he was giving him another assistant. He apparently simply told Martin 'you work at the archives now, congratulations' and then went back to his office to smile smugly to himself.

This is a VERY bad start for a working relationship, because not only does Martin come in unannounced, this also comes off as Elias not respecting Jon, or potentially even sending someone to report back to Elias (because Martin is the only one who doesn't have an established rapport with Jon).

Jon never verbalises this suspicion, so maybe this is too much interpretation on my part, but in any case it's cause for a lot of resentment on Jon's part, and since he can't exactly let it out on Elias (who is rarely there, anyway), he simply lets it out on Martin.

He finds reasons to do so, of course, insulting his work and all that. It's probably easy, especially in the beginning, because not unlike Jon, Martin doesn't have any qualifications to work in an archive! He worked at the library before, and we know that his degree is made up (which we can only assume Elias knows, considering he can know almost anything).

(I actually find the question on why Elias transferred Martin in the first place extremely interesting, and might get into that in another post. But this one is already too long, lmao.)

1.3. Martin is too nice, aka Jon has even more issues

This is mostly my personal headcanon, though I do feel it fits Jon's character - which is that he doesn't know how to deal with nice people.

Not kind people. Not friendly people. But nice people.

People who do things seemingly out of the mere goodness of their heart. Like bringing their mean boss tea when he never asked them to do that. Like being friendly even in the face of insults. Someone who constantly takes himself back in favour of other people and their opinions.

People like Martin is appearing to be. Appearing, because Martin isn't actually like that. He does have his opinions, and he could probably grumble up a storm in S1 about Jon, but Jon is his BOSS, and so he plays.

Martin also IS genuinely a nice person most of the time (when he's not on a revenge rampage, making his boyfriend murder people). He doesn't have to do nice things for Jon like bring him tea in S2. But he does. Because that's Martin's way of trying to reach out, to show other people that he means no harm (and that he can be useful).

(I also think that Jon's snappish behaviour, where Martin never quite knows what will set the man off, might remind him off his mum, but again I digress. :))

But I think Jon doesn't know how to deal with that, because even when he's not in the height of paranoia, he still suspects that people who are THAT nice (especially when they have no reason to be nice because he's being an arsehole to them) have a secret agenda. This is playing into what I said under 2 (the part that might be too much interpretation on my side lol), because if Jon suspects that Martin is reporting back to Elias, or is at least someone who would not be friendly if he found out that Jon doesn't know what he's doing, then he can't allow himself to relax around him, and he certainly can't allow himself to be lulled into false security (as Jon would think) around him.

Tl;dr on this point: I think Jon is wary of Martin's niceness because he thinks he might be fishing for gossip/anything he can use against Jon. And even if he isn't, Jon thinks he would be likely to use anything he learns against Jon, because they weren't friends to begin with, and Jon's behaviour has made them anything but that.

(We have to remember that this is the guy who says in S2 that he knows what it's like to 'lack the respect of one's peers', aka the kid who got bullied by at least one older kid, and likely had no or very few friends - plus he believes in the supernatural, which doesn't exactly lend itself well to getting academic respect.)

1.4. They were fucked from the start, your honour

Basically what the meme says, but yeah. The they were put in practically guaranteed that Jon would be wary of Martin, and that Martin would be trying extra hard to make friends with him, which in turn would make Jon even more wary/hostile.

And Elias made it worse, either knowingly or by negligence (not telling Jon about transferring Martin).

If we add the whole dog story to it... they were fucked. I do actually wonder if, assuming we take the dog story as canon, Elias actually somehow managed to set that up. Or whether he was at least cackling (sorry, smiling ever so silently, but smugly) in his office as it happened, or whenever he ended up knowing that it happened.

2. Yes, we've had one starting point, but what about second starting point?

As we have established above, the starting situation for Jon and Martin was... not ideal. So, would they have gotten together easily given a different starting point, like in a cute coffee shop AU?

Eh.

It's true that the specific situation they were in made it a lot harder for them to actually communicate and see each other as they are than it had to be. That doesn't mean that a different situation would have made it easy, though.

Their personalities still make it hard, though, as even without the added stress of a new job, Jon is still a little chihuahua shaking in the corner, who tries to make up for it by barking at everyone, and Martin is still the guy trying to approach him with treats and getting his hand bitten.

There are certainly specific situation that could make it easier, especially if Jon isn't scared as hell, and has maybe already learned that not everyone who does something nice for him wants to just pull on his strings. (Yes, I do think that the thing that makes Martin, according to Annabelle, suited for the Web, is the thing that put Jon on edge at the beginning. I don't know if this was intended at all, but it makes me cackle.)

The beauty of fanfic is that we can do whatever the hell we want. But I think the most fun thing an AU author can do is think 'What would have to happen, in this specific scenario, for these two to get over themselves and get together?'

Excursion: Martin, my beloved depressed blorbo who I am certainly not projecting on, haha

Because it IS both of them who need to get over themselves. Of course Jon's issues are the most obvious, and I've certainly expanded on them enough. But Martin also has a problem, and it's that he's constantly hiding his true feelings and opinions, especially anger and fear.

That makes sense, perhaps, in a workplace, though considering he's dealing with a walking, talking worm hive and a stalker boss... Let's just say it probably would have helped Tim, too, if Martin hadn't been so desperate to make everyone be friends again.

Because Martin is always TRYING to make everything better for everyone, but he's actually not helping anyone. Being nice to Jon and bringing him tea doesn't help battle his paranoia. And trying to tell Tim not to be so angry at Jon, and can't they all be friends, doesn't actually help Tim with his anger.

All Martin is essentially doing is making himself small and saying 'let's get along, pretty please' every now and then. I don't know if it would have helped if he had expressed his own fears and anger, and maybe Jon would have misconstrued that as well, too deep in his paranoia already. But at least Tim might have realised that he was not alone in all this. (His biggest problem, as he says in S2, is that he feels that no one has his back, which I think at least partly results from no one expressing the same anger, aka no one validating his feelings.)

Anyway! (Jon voice) Excursion ends.

3. (To the melody of 'What shall we do with the drunken sailor') What shall we do with these total idiots?

So, how ARE these two going to get together, if they're so woefully unequipped to deal with each other?

Well, first we need to give Martin a good helping of self-confidence. Then we need to kind of give Jon the same, since his problem ALSO is that he's unsure of himself, he just tries to make other people small to cover it up, instead of making himself small. (And isn't that a funny thing to do for someone who we know was bullied. To become a bully himself. Oh, the snake, biting its own tail...)

The easy answer is, of course: You can come up with your own version, get creative. <3

The more complex answer is: A lot of stuff, probably. Jon and Martin will certainly need time to get to know each other, and of course it depends on what situation you put them in to start. But there will be misunderstandings, and there will be hurt feelings, and I am going to soak it up all like a particularly slowburn-greedy sponge.

I feel like there are probably five million ways to get them together, and some might be cute and fluffy (if they go to therapy first, I guess, lol) and many will be full of tears. <3 (Jon voice) And I want to see them all on my desk by Friday! So get to it!

In all seriousness though, yeah, I think there's not one right way for them to get together (though canon did it well imo). But it's also a little more complex than we might give it credit to (very much including me).

4. So what now?

I don't know. I'm not your dad. Write a fic. Draw a picture. Put down your own thoughts on the matter. Or take a shower and clean up your room, young Padawan!

(Though actually, if you've read this post from start to finish in one session, what you should probably do is get up and stretch and get some water.)

And above all! And this is imperative.

Have a good day. <3

[angel-dustspo]

Hi there! I recently came across your blog and was truly inspired with your dedication to making the best version of yourself so I decided to make my own daily log too!

I've only done it for 2 days so far but I was wondering...what do you do instead of going on your phone😭? Rn it's holidays for me so my screen time has been really bad and I'm looking for ways to improve it. 🙏

Hiii, thank you so so so much for your kind words, they mean so much to me!!! I'm so glad I was able to inspire you and make you wish to become better everyday, that's the whole point of my blog and I'm so glad I get to help people through it!!

I always say in my posts that my screen time isn't high, but by screen time I only mean how much time I spend on social media. Scrolling is out of the question and I don't do that at all anymore, so it's just chatting what I log on here. But that's not all, because my screen time is high every day too. I use my phone for so many more reasons, and I also end up spending most of my free time on it, it's just that I don't use it for scrolling or wasting my time (mostly, not always). I post on here, I do my school work or research, I watch a movie or a youtube video and all sorts of things like that, and the screen time could add up to 5-7 hours on a school day and like 10 on holidays. Nobody has it all figured out, so please don't pressure yourself into completely not using your phone because it's not going to end well.

To be honest, I don't even know what I do besides using my phone hahah. My main hobby is my blog and that takes a lot of my time usually, but I also do my Duolingo and watch inspiring videos and anything like that, so I'm probably always using it (for doing something productive or helpful).

When I don't use my phone, I mostly do school work bcs I'm in my final year and I have to study a lot for my exams. My favourite hobby is reading, and when I don't have homework to do I can read up to 200 pages a day (like 3-4 hours), but I also love listening to music, painting, playing video games (which I actually do everyday haha), baking and cooking. I also spend a lot of my time doing sport and walking and just that alone can take me multiple hours of a day.

Other ideas are journaling or scrapbooking, cleaning your room, redecorating, writing posts on here, learning an instrument/a language, researching, learning how to crochet, going shopping or thrifting, picking up a type of exercise classes or a sport, hanging out with friends, and again learning how to cook for yourself is such a game changer and everybody should practice that.

I hope you got some new ideas about spending your time now and that I was able to help you! Good luck on your self improvement journey, I know you got this and I'm so extremely proud of you!!!! <333