#vanessa palmer x reader

[serqphites]

YELLOW JACKETS HEADCANONS | them being jealous

summary: they notice you getting a little too close to another one of the girls, this is how i think they would react to the feelings and emotions that would tag along with it

pairings: nat, misty, taissa, shauna, vanessa, lottie x afab wlw reader

format: headcanons

warning: jealousy, swearing?, suggestive ig

lowercase intended! not proofread! y/n used!

natalie

- stops speaking to you

- starts going hunting without you

- when you would hunt together she’d ignore you

- gets mad if you talk abt whoever she’s jealous over

- you’ll eventually ask her while you’re out why she’s being so weird with you

- she shouts at you

- you shout back

- “what so you’re mad you’re not the only person i talk to???”

- “no i’m mad because i’m not your fucking person!”

- your argument turns into a love confession on her part

- she starts crying

- she gets really embarrassed and runs back to the cabin

misty

- would be BEYOND upset

- she’d think that she had done something wrong

- overthinking it way too much

- was she not good enough for you? even after everything she’s done for you?

- would go a little crazy ngl

- she would confront them and basically interrogate them

- would ask things like “what are your intentions with them?” and stuff like that

- coincidentally after that she wouldn’t see them near you anymore

- i’m fact they’d always make sure they are as far away as possible from either of you

- you literally have no idea what happened you just assumed you two just drifted

- yayyy misty wins again!!

taissa

- she’s been watching you from afar ever since you joined the team

- she’s scared to be openly gay, would people resent her? would they even care the she likes women?

- she’s actually been making an effort to talk to you as much as she can

- whenever shauna was the one giving out the cards for the chores that day she’d beg her to make sure she saved her the closest one to you

- however when you start spending a lot of your time with van, everything changes

- van is openly gay, just like you are

- is it offensive of her to assume you’re dating just because you’re both gay?

- whenever she would speak to you she’d ask about van

- “we’re just friends tai, i swear”

- “sure you are” she’d laugh it off as if she wasn’t genuinely trying to figure out what was going on between you two

- one day tai is out getting water and when she turns around to head back you’re just standing there

- you very quickly explain that you have feelings for her and that’s why you’ve been with van so much because you’ve been trying to figure out how to deal with them

- she drops the bucket of water and pulls you in for a quick yet passionate kiss

- “take it you feel the same?”

shauna

- she’d be so jealous

- my god you better watch your back

- she’s so scary

- the glares she’d give you both when you’re talking? lethal.

- the things she’d write about the person she’s jealous over in her journal? vile.

- she would be really quiet and weird around you

- it would make you very uncomfortable

- one day she puts her journal away and doesn’t balance it properly on the wooden beam

- it falls sometime after she’s left the attic and you just so happen to stumble across it while searching for her

- you stare down in shock at the cruel things she’s been writing about someone who was only considered a friend to you

- you are that into the journal that you don’t hear someone coming up the ladder

- shauna sees what you’re doing and charges at you, snatching her journal from your grasp

- she shouts at you for reading her journal

- you honestly don’t really listen, too busy admiring how hot she is when she’s mad

- you eventually can’t hold yourself back and pull her in by her hips as close to you as possible

- you share a lust filled, rough kiss

- god you’ve wanted that for so long

van

- she’s not really a crazily jealous person

- she’s a hell of a lot more chilled out than the rest of the girls

- but when you start ditching sneaking out of the cabin with her to sit and read under the covers with misty? oh boy things change

- she’s never felt like this before, she could feel it in her chest how furious it made her to see you with someone else

- she would make sooo many sarcastic jokes about you both

- “they’re probably off snogging misty somewhere”

- you’d overhear one of her jokes to the girls and actually get pretty upset

- at some point later that night you’d drag her outside to explain the way her comments made you feel to her

- she feels terrible

- it was never her intention to upset you

- she admits her jealously got the better of her

- you have a very heartfelt conversation about the way you’ve both been feeling recently

- obviously a love confession

- let’s just say you walk back into the cabin holding hands, everyone pitching in an “ooo la la” or a whislte

lottie

- we all know my girl got some problems

- lottie is very protective of you

- always wanting you by her side

- so when she starts to notice that instead of attaching to her side, you’re attaching to nats, she goes a little crazy

- she’d honestly say some bullshit about how the wilderness wants you to stay with her at all times

- “lottie, you can’t be serious right now”

- “y/n i can’t ignore my visions”

- “we wouldn’t want to upset the wilderness now, would we?”

- at that you fold and agree to stop spending so much time with nat, even if you know it’s just lottie trying to act like it doesn’t bother her that you’ve been giving someone other than her attention

- nat is just in disbelief that her strategy to get you back worked

a/n: hope you liked this, this is my first ever time writing fanfic so don’t judge pls! lmk what you’d want next :)

[denwritesandcries]

Like a Movie Scene – V.P

Pairing: van palmer x fem!reader

Summary: Van Palmer should come with a warning sign. She invades your life with her crooked smiles and stupid jokes and draws you into her orbit without even asking for permission, as if it were something destined to happen. Which, you assume, it probably is.

Word count: 7,1k.

Content: No crash!AU, cursing, mentions of homophobia (it’s the 90’s), friends to lovers, slow burn, fluff, a little angst, shitty families, LOTS of movie references, the yjs being normal teenagers.

Note: Van is a flirty little shit but also a complete loser and we love her for that.

English is not my first language.

Van Palmer should come with a warning sign or at least a 'no returns' marked on the tag of her football jerseys.

You don't think it would have done any good, though. Van draws you into her orbit from the first moment you met, like a bright and warm sun; allowing you to exist steadily in her life even though, technically, she has invaded yours.

You suppose then, that you wouldn't have it any other way.

It's likely you guys would never have really spoken to each other if it weren't for a mix-up between your practice schedules and a stupid argument between your coaches.

You see, the track team – which you were part of – always had practice right after the football team, because Wiskayok High School barely had the structure to keep both a girls and boys football team running properly, let alone a decent space for the few other sports the small-town school offered. Your practices took place on the same days of the week and one after the other, always at the same time. It was the implicit rule: from 4:30 pm the field is yours.

Coach Martínez didn't seem to care, however, because there he was arguing with your coach. Since apparently football practice had run late and the girls just needed to train for an hour and a half.

Your coach wasn't having any of it – your time was already too short without these changes –, and now both men were in the middle of the field screaming in each other's faces while poor coach Scott tried to calm them down.

“Dude.” you recognize Natalie Scatorccio’s tired and rasp voice beside you: “They could just cancel and let us go.”

You and apparently most people there, if the expressions of annoyance and crossed arms were any indication, couldn't agree more.

"Right?" You said. “Look at them, you think they’re gonna fight?”

Nat let out an amused snort, “They’re going to eat Coach Ben alive, that’s what they’re gonna do.”

You would have said something else if it weren't for a third voice coming from right behind you:

“They're gonna kiss, look how close their faces are.” It was Van Palmer, the goalie, with red hair swinging in a ponytail and a smirk on her lips. She shook her head in mock disappointment and crossed her arms, pointing with her chin at the scene, “In front of us, kids? What a lack of professionalism.”

You choke on a laugh and her gaze snaps to you, her smile widening with something like satisfaction in her eyes. The attention made you nervous. You weren't used to interacting with Yellowjackets members other than Nat, who was easy to talk to and was your lab partner as well as sharing cigarettes at parties, meaning that talking to Van Palmer was a completely new territory.

You joke back insecurely: “At least you have real coaches. Ours is the art teacher.”

That made her let out an incredulous laugh and you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel pleased about it. Like almost the entire school, you also had a crush on the Yellowjackets.

Your laughter died down just as Coach Scott ran across the field to the two mixed teams with the most genuine expression of exhaustion you've ever seen. “We decided to share the space," he says. And that's all. Your first interaction with Van: a conversation that lasted less than three minutes mocking your teachers. You would never expect it to evolve into anything beyond that.

It's strange trying to do your usual routine of running through the poorly painted banners around the pitch – which looked like it had never seen better days – with a game taking place just a few meters away from you and your teammates. The fear of getting hit in the face by a ball was embarrassing.

Yet, as you wait for the relay, your gaze tracks the girls in action. You don't know the names of most of them, but recognize Taissa and Shauna fighting over the ball at one end of the field, the confrontation seems a little too intense, which makes you a bit nervous and your eyes go straight to the nearest goal, coincidentally, is the one Van is defending.

You notice how beautiful she looks with her expression completely concentrated and hands resting on the knees, waiting to act. Shauna overtakes Taissa and kicks hard the ball towards the goal; Van grabs it as soon as she crosses the white line on the lawn.

A giggle escapes you as Shauna turns around in frustration and the ball bounces back into the field and Van and Tai share a wry smile. The goalie turns her attention away from the game for a moment to look around and you swear she's looking for something – or someone.

Your teacher calls signaling your turn and you leave your thoughts while you line up with some other teammates.

You can do your relay routine for exactly fifteen minutes before something goes wrong.

You run on autopilot, so used to it that it's practically a second nature, letting your gaze return to scanning the field with interest when one of the players tries to score again and Van throws herself against the ground to catch the ball with a stronger and clearly exaggerated movement compared to last time. You thought this would be a one-time thing, seeing as the way Jackie and Nat rolled their eyes at her from where they were off to the side blocking other girls, but it kept happening the entire time you spent running until it was time for your break.

You choke on the water you drink when you realize that Van is the one staring at you this time, hands resting on her thighs, face sweaty and red, as if she doesn't have a game to focus on.

Shit, you think. How are you going to keep your head in training now? You wonder what you would have done to get a Yellowjacket's attention so suddenly as you return to your line.

You resume your run at a pretty good pace despite the sudden nervousness, feeling a little more confident when you hear a loud “Come on guys, no one has beaten L/N’s time yet!” coming from your teacher.

And then you're approaching the curve flush with the football field, the curve that gives you the perfect view of the goal.

Van is there, of course, just throwing the ball downfield again. Van, who rests her hands on her hips and catches her breath when Coach Scott blows the whistle and tells that her team won the game. Van, who turns around just in time and sees you approaching. Van, who removes a strand of red hair from her face that has escaped the ponytail and gives you a malicious toothy smile. Van, who winks at you. Van, who makes you fall. Literally.

It's all so out of nowhere, so suddenly that your heart misses a beat and you miss a step, tripping over your own feet as if your legs forgot how to work properly, falling in the middle of the curve and getting in the way of your colleagues further back in the lanes next to your side

Shit. Holyshit. Fuck. You just fell in front of the entire football team.

One of your friends bends down next to you to help and asks what happened, you blame the laces of your sneakers that untied when you fell because any reason is less embarrassing than what actually happened.

Your knee is bleeding and one of your arms is scraped, so the coach decides to have pity and leave you on the bench until it's time to leave. You make your way there with your ears burning and your head down.

If Van had any kind of interest in you, it definitely disappeared after that.

You remain alone on the bench, avoiding looking anywhere for a long time until Misty Quigley appears at your side with things to bandage your wound and you happily let her fill the silence with whatever she wants to say for the next few minutes.

Your night is spent tossing and turning in bed over the shame you've experienced and the next day as you walk through the hallways, the possibility of the goalie talking to you again doesn't even cross your mind as the first classes go by like a blur.

And then you're at your lunch table waiting for Nat to show up to talk like she usually does when she doesn't disappear around school, but after a few minutes a head of red hair takes over your vision instead of the usual dyed blonde.

“What’s up?” Van is sitting next to you, with the same crooked smile and her cheek propped up in a fist.

“Uh, nothing much really.” You have no idea what is going on; she is sitting with you, smiling at you and talking to you. Why is she doing this? You can feel a few other people's eyes on you through the interaction.

She introduces herself, even though you already know who she is, holding out a hand for you to shake – they’re rough, you notice, with calluses adorning the fingers –, probably just so you can introduce yourself too. “I’m Van,” she says. And that’s it.

She’s been Van since the beginning. Not Vanessa Palmer or the Yellowjackets goalkeeper, just Van. She says it so matter-of-factly that it would simply sound wrong to call her anything else.

You engage in a conversation about anything and everything after you introduce yourself – just your nickname too. You assume Nat already told her your name at some point yesterday – speaking as if you already knew each other, and somehow it doesn't feel weird.

Your eyes end up focusing on a black-haired girl crying at a table on the other side of the cafeteria with another girl a little smaller than her. You don't know either of them, but you know that they are both on the main team too.

“Hey,” you point with your chin: “What’s up with her?”

Van finds the source of your attention and raises her eyebrows, “Oh, you mean Mari?”

You answer with a simple nod of your head and that's enough for Van to invade your personal space with a devilish expression and a mischievous smile.

“She had a bad break up.” Van says and you tilt your head at her.

“But was it that bad?” You arch an eyebrow, “People don’t cry in such full places over nothing.”

Van moves a little closer to you and lowers her voice conspiratorially, as if she’s telling you a very important secret: “She were dumped," and then a dramatic pause, “For the guy’s half-sister.”

"What?" Your jaw drops completely and Van nods her head.

“Lottie told me, she knows about these things.” Ahe rests her face in her hand again, “She said she caught them kissing at her last party, Mari must have known.”

“‘The fuck?” The shocked look you give her only seems to amuse her.

“Oh, she's crying right now but boy, she was mad as hell in our math class today.” Van blows an exaggerated raspberry, “I bet she'll end up coming up with an absurd plan to get revenge and burn down his house just like in She Devil if the story spread.”

It will definitely spread, you thought.

An unexpected giggle escaped your chest – you might have felt a little bad for talking shit about a girl you didn't even know later, but not now – and your gaze found Van's face again.

“Yeah.” You start, “Except she was replaced by the guy’s own sister– half-sister, whatever, instead of a famous writer.”

Her face lights up completely as she speaks, bright green eyes like those of an excited puppy.

“You like that movie?” She asks.

“I love that movie,” you correct, “It’s iconic and Meryl Streep looks good.”

"She does.”

This seems to completely cement Van's interest in you, because she continues to sit with you at lunch for the rest of the week. When Nat finally shows up, she arches an eyebrow, but doesn't question it.

You and Van get closer in a surprisingly short period of time, but the way she seems to settle into your life is gradual and your silly little crush on the goalie seems to get stronger without even realizing it. Waiting for your lunches in the cafeteria, conversations in the hallways, glances exchanged during physics class – since you sat too far away to really talk – and the exchange of silly words about movies you like.

You have the habit of going out for a run every weekend in the morning – it's not easy to keep the best time in the routines, after all – and one day you decide to change your route by pure coincidence to a longer one that ends up near one of the trailer parks in the city; the fact that Nat mentioned one day that she’s neighbors with a certain teammate has nothing to do with it.

It surprises you that Van is awake at 8 am on a Saturday, but you find her – by pure coincidence, nothing more than that – outside a sad trailer watering an even sadder small garden. When she sees you, your hair is a mess and breathing is a little out of step, and you give her an awkward wave as you catch your breath. It's the first time you've seen each other outside of school.

“You’re stalking me now, weirdo?” Her crooked smile tells you that there's no real bite behind it.

"No," You place your hands on your hips, kicking some loose pebbles on the floor with your sneakers. Yes, you liar, “I always run around here, how come we’ve never seen each other before?”

Fuck it, you think. If Van can just show up for you because she wants to, then you can do the same.

She seems happy to abandon her garden chores when you ask her to go for a walk and she agrees to make you company once there’s no running involved; a walk, because no one deserves to be running around like Rocky Balboa at this time of the morning.

You walk together side by side through the neighborhood with your shoulders brushing against each other as if you've done this many times before, Van whistling a random tune carelessly.

Talking to her when the initial nervousness passes is one of the easiest things you've ever done and you find yourself enjoying and listening to everything Van tells you. This potential friendship – maybe more. Maybe, just maybe – it's the most fun thing that's happened in your year so far.

Your walks together also become a habit after that. You just come back the next day and Van is there with a smile on her face, so you keep coming back and she keeps smiling.

You also start walking home after school. Neither of you have a car, so why not?

You crave her company and she craves yours, you stay for Van's training and she stays for yours – no one else on the teams has the energy to complain about exaggerated movements or stumbles on tracks – and then when you're ready, you head off to your ways together and it makes your heart warm every time.

Everything about Van just makes you want to know her even more; the way she gestures with her arms and declares with the utmost disgust how she keeps distance from any musical that isn’t animated – “But you only watched Cats!” “And that was enough!” –, they way she tells you about how she and Taissa are watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch every Friday, or how she makes fun of any weird thing Misty said during practice that week.

You listen and absorb everything with an stupid drunk smile on your face, letting her entwine your arms and chatter to her heart's content.

Keep talking, you want to say. I love your voice, seeing you happy makes me happy. Keep talking, keep talking, keep talking.

You invite her to your house for the first time under the pretext of studying, after she throws herself on the chair next to you with a tearful expression during physics class.

“I’m gonna fail,” she whines, banging her head dramatically against the open notebook on the table, “The teacher hates me.”

You start teasingly: “Maybe he would hate you a little less if you actually paid attention in his class.”

"I do!" Van protests. “It’s personal, he must think I’m strange or somethin’ and lower my grades for it.” She crosses her arms with a pout and a roll of eyes.

“Of course." You agree with an exaggerated nod, “And you, yourself, are strange and unusual.”

“Yes!” She exclaims, ignoring the looks she attracts, “But that’s not the point, don’t quote Beetlejuice to me now, woman, this is serious.”

“Oh, wow, okay then.” You shrug.

Van looks at you before resting her head on the table again. She seems so hopeless that you give in.

“Hey, c’mon,” you say, letting your hand rest on her hair and stroke it gently: “You can come to my house today. I’ll help you study for the next test.”

Van's shoulders tense suddenly and her head snaps up so fast it makes you jump back.

"Really?" Her eyes are wide, face as red as her hair: “I wouldn’t want to bother you.”

That's strange. Van is usually the one who makes you nervous, not the other way around.

“You won’t bother me at all,” you reply without giving it much thought, “There won’t be anyone at home anyway.”

And then there's silence, Van's face turns impossibly redder and after a second of confusion, you understand.

You just invited Van to your house. Alone. There is an innuendo there. Several possibilities that neither of you will mention, but that you both know are there.

Your face starts to heat up, so you clear your throat and stutter a confused “Are you coming then?”, because you can't let her realize what you just thought about.

Van responds with a squeaky “Okay, sure." and hurries back to her usual seat when class finally begins.

When you adjust yourself in the chair and think about finally releasing the breath you didn't realize you were holding, your gaze finds Lottie Matthews staring at you three seats away with her eyebrows raised. Shit.

Lottie says nothing, just wrinkles her nose contemplatively and faces forward, but she knows. She always knows. You feel your hands sweat and shake with nervousness at the prospect of becoming the new school gossip like Mari last month. The queer who fell too hard for a Yellowjacket only to get it wrong and ruin everything.

You shake your head. No, Lottie wouldn't do that. You weren't exactly friends, but she’s not mean, there was no reason for her to mess with you, your thoughts were just talking too loud. Plus, it's not like she actually saw anything. You didn't do anything forbidden. Friends go to each other's houses all the time. Your crush is not obvious.

That's stupid, you think, it doesn't matter. But you don't really believe it. Yes, it matters, at least in this little town at the end of the world.

You just hope you don't end up crying in the cafeteria too.

There is no training that day, so as soon as classes are over, you leave school together and make your way home. For the first time, the silence is awkward and makes you feel bad for making the invitation the wrong way. Maybe Van just doesn't swing that way and you made her uncomfortable somehow. It's a possibility; you're not exactly in the closet to the rest of the school.

Still, the way her hand brushes against yours gives you hope that this isn't the case.

When Van enters your house, the first thing she does is look around.

“Wow,” she begins. “Its really…”

“Small?” You complete, feeling somewhat conscious. Your house wasn't a trailer, but it wasn't anything compared to the houses of Van's cool friends. Definitely nothing like Lottie or Jackie.

“Empty.” She corrects.

Huh. It's true, your house was praticly always empty, not only because your parents spent as much time as they could out of it, pretending they didn't have a kid to still take care of, but also because of the lack of furniture and personality. It didn't seem like a cozy place to a family live. As a whole, it could be really lonely most of the time. Van seems to have noticed this with a single glance.

You choose to ignore the comment, suddenly thinking that this might end up becoming too intimate. In a vulnerable way.

When Van enters your bedroom for the first time, she gives the place the same curious look as the rest of the house, but her jaw quickly drops.

“You got a TV in your room?” She sounds completely shocked.

“Yeah.” You snort in amusement, “My uncle runs an appliance store, he fixed one that no one picked up last summer, so now it’s mine.”

Van still looks very impressed as her eyes roam the rest of the room. Your bedroom was, perhaps, the only place in the house where someone actually seemed to live. Posters and photos adorned the colorful walls and it seemed like every little thing in the room was directly a part of you, from an old stuffed animal on one of the shelves to the small pile of messy clothes on the chair next to the study table because you weren't planning on receiving no one to remember to put it away.

The tension from before seems to be dissipating and you can see from the expression on her face the exact moment Van notices your small VHS collection up ahead.

“Okay. That's it. We're only hanging out here from now.”

And that awkward moment passes completely.

In a matter of minutes you both are comfortable in your bed with books and notebooks spread around, after convincing Van to start studying with the promise that she could choose whatever movie she wanted for you to watch when you were finished.

Van seems to dedicate herself twice as much, eager to fulfill the agreement and the hours pass quickly as she understands the concepts you explain about the subject and then all you have to do is say that it's time for a break for her to jump out of bed with a smile from ear to ear and choose a movie.

She puffs out her chest holding the tape in her hands and proudly declares that you're watching Jurassic Park and you don't even think to question it when you return the smile and takes on the task of making popcorn.

Van ends up leaning against you throughout the movie, reciting all the lines from memory along with the characters close to your ear – she knows all of them – and your heart remains racing with blood rushing in your ears until she leaves.

The two of you keep hanging out at your house again and again, just like she said it would be. Sometimes you study or watch something together, but most of the time Van simply keeps you company while you do your chores around the house, following you around like a puppy while you cook or do the laundry. Your home has never been so fulled or welcoming.

You go home after classes and practice – occasionally with Nat in tow – and stay together until it's late and dark, every now and then you say that she could just sleep over as a joke, but she never accepts it. You gulps the pang of sadness and rejection each time it happens.

And you guys talk a lot. You've never been so delighted to hear someone blab about anything.

Van spends days talking about how excited she is for summer while helping you chop the things for dinner. She and Natalie always get jobs together and she’s dying to buy a car – “You’re the runner here, lady, not me.” –, an old dark green pickup truck. She shows you the leaflet with a smile so proud that you don't have the courage to admit that you thought the thing was horrible; she tells you about how she wears the clothes of her older brother who apparently left town as soon as he finished school while helping you fold the freshly washed clothes, some of her own included.

It's so domestic that you wonder why this didn't happen sooner, depriving either of you of a routine together like this for so long seemed mean.

One night you’re sleeping soundly when you are startled awake by a loud knock on your window and you turn to find a face pressed against the glass. You almost have a heart attack.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Van!”

She's standing there with a pout and big eyes, pointing at the lock and you consider leaving her outside for the fright she got you. One look at the alarm clock on the table next to the bed tells you that it's already past 2:00 am.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, your voice rasp and tired from sleep, letting her come in, but only because you don't want her to get a cold outside.

Van sneaks into the room, suddenly shy, playing with the hem of the oversized t-shirt she's wearing and avoiding your eyes. She gives you an awkward smile.

“I was just wondering if we could have that sleepover today?”

She looks upset. Something happend. Something that upset her enough that she decided to run to your home in the middle of the night.

“Van,” your expression softened, worry flooding your voice, “Are you okay?”

“Yep.” She clicked her tongue, still not looking at you in the eye.

Okay, you won't get anything out of it then. Van likes to talk, but not when it comes to problems like this. Problems at home.

The thing is that you and Van have a lot in common, like your dubious sense of humor and your love for movies, but are opposites in many others; the main one: where your house is always empty, hers is always full. Full of people who take away the smile that you always try hard to keep on her face.

“Okay." You sigh, taking her hand and making your way to the messed bed, “Let’s get some sleep then.”

“Oh.” She looks even more embarrassed, her sweaty hand in yours, “I can take the couch or the floor. I didn’t mean to wake you, I’m sorry.”

You let out an outraged huff. “You run to my house, climb in through my window, ask me to have a sleepover and now you want to sleep on the floor?”

She drags her feet on the floor, “...Yeah?”

You choose to ignore her answer, practically dragging her over to the bed and making her lie down. When she does, Van moves to the other side of the mattress, clearly trying her best not to disturb you, but in a fit of courage and exhaustion, you wrap an arm around her and press her against your chest. She lets out a squeak of surprise at the action.

“Go to sleep, Van.” You mumble against the back of her neck, burying your face in her thick hair.

Her body is still tense against yours, but Van allows one hand to rest on the arm you keep around her waist.

You lose count of how long you spend lying awake in silence cohabiting in each other's space, but when you wake up in the morning, Van is still asleep, her hand never leaving your arm.

You guys don't talk about it and you never find out what really happened to make her feel so bad that day, but Van shows up more often to stay the night. She never tells you when she's coming and you get scared every time when you hear the knocking on the window – you swear she does it on purpose, that little smartass.

You realize that you really love her, not just as a silly high school crush, in the middle of a hot May. When Van makes you stand in the line at the cinema ticket office for two and a half hours and miss the day of school to get tickets to watch Jurassic Park - The Lost World. Because if you saw the first one together then you should see the second one too, obviously.

You're sure you wouldn't put yourself through this for anyone else – but don't let Natalie know that.

The whole situation feels a lot like a date and you try to ignore the anxiety that washes over you as you rummage through your closet for an outfit that you think is good enough for the night. The way Van's jaw drops when she looks at you when she meets you at the front door makes the effort completely worth it.

She spends the entire movie almost bouncing in her seat with excitement and swearing at the parts that don't make sense. Because apparently the movie is also really bad, even though she's so happy watching it, and you manage to be bold enough to hide your face on her shoulder during the “scary” parts and leave your head resting there until the end.

You're not proud at all to say you spent seven bucks on a squeezy dinosaur for her on the way back, but it's your senior year, damn it, let the girl have fun with her silly toy before college.

You go back home – ‘home’ you think now, not ‘your house’. Your home. Your home with Van. – with her ranting about special effects and scenes you don't remember because you spent more time looking at her than the screen and you end up on the balcony before you know it.

“That was so good.” Van is just inches away from you, looking at you with bright eyes full of happiness; your hands are sweaty, so you put them in your pockets so she doesn't notice.

“Yeah, it really was.” You return with a playful smile, “Even though you convinced me to spend hours under the sun for it.”

“Hey!” She protests, moving impossibly closer, “What would the experience be worth without a little effort, huh?”

“Sure.” You giggle.

She's so pretty, you think. Hair down and a black jacket draped over her shoulders, looking at you as if she actually saw you. Knows you. I want to kiss her.

“You had fun today?” Van asks, unable to avoid the small tone of doubt that escapes her voice.

I want you to kiss me, you think.

“Yes,” you answer instead, “Yes, I did.”

One night Van simply comes in through your window and you don't even react anymore, leaning into her body under the covers.

“You gotta stop coming in through my window,” you grumble.

“Then stop leaving it open,” she huffs, “Someone might break in, you know that?”

You can feel her smile against your neck and you're about to fall asleep again when you hear her voice whispering:

“You’re gonna go to my games, now that we actually have a chance to go to the nationals, right?”

“Of course,” you mumble with a comforting pat of her hand on your stomach, “I’ll be the first one in the stands cheering you on. You’ll be embarrassed of me.”

Van buries her face in your shoulder, “Good.”

You get sick the exact same week that her last game until the nationals happens, lamenting the stupid flu that left you feverish and stuck at home for days.

You can't go to school and Van can't come to see you because Coach Martinez has increased the training routine as the team advances in the championship. You assume it must be really tiring because Van doesn't show up at night either. It's embarrassing the way you can't sleep properly without her.

The worst of all: you lose Van's game.

You resign yourself to spending the afternoon on the couch brooding in remorse until you hear a knock on the door.

Coming across Van's sad face with her clearly trying not to cry was not what you expected when you opened the door, knowing for sure that you would only be greeted later – probably after a victory party – with excited screams and bright little dog eyes asking for help to pack her bags.

"We lost." She says, eyes glued on the carpet.

“Oh." You say stupidly, “Oh, dear.”

Your voice seems to turn a switch inside her, because Van lifts her head to you with her lips trembling and the next moment you two are on the couch with her practically sprawled on your lap and crying. Crying hard. You've never seen her like this before.

You hear something about Jackie hitting the post at the last moment as she sobs, but what seems to make her really upset are the balls she couldn't save during the game. Like it would’ve make difference.

Comforting was never really your strong suit, you can't say you're really upset that the Yellowjackets lost, the idea of having Van so far away from you even for a few days didn't please you at all. A bad feeling in your chest told you that something could go wrong.

“Well,” you run your fingers up and down her back, “You know one good thing about this? We can go to Homecoming now.”

Her breathing hitches, but if Van notices how you say 'we' instead of 'you' she doesn't say anything.

She's on your lap, nose close to yours, eyes swollen with tears but with the same look from that night at the movies, the one that makes your hands sweat and leaves your heart weak.

Unlike the movies, however, she kisses you. Like, she actually moves forward and kisses you.

Her lips are wet and soft against yours and you tilt your head to pursue them only for her to pull away with a panicked expression.

"I'm sorry!" Van exclaims, scooting toward the door as if her skin had burned: “I’m sorry! I– I shouldn’t– I’ll see you at school.”

And then she leaves. You don't even have time to react, she runs out the door and gets into that horrible pickup truck – which she had parked in the driveway for the first time less than two weeks ago, wanting to take you for a ride to celebrate the purchase – and you're left standing in the doorway like an idiot after the car disappears from your vision, as if you were waiting for her to come back – you were.

You don't see her at school for the rest of the week. She doesn't show up in class or practice and she certainly doesn't show up at your house, Van is avoiding you and it's so obvious that you feel like crying the entire time you're there, trying to catch a glimpse of her through the halls.

Fuck. You knew this would happen, that you would screw up and make the person you care about the most hate you.

You huff in frustration, letting your head fall against the table feeling someone's gaze on you, someone who isn't Van.

Lottie Matthews isn't skipping physics class, she has no reason to be, so you shouldn't have freaked out as much as you did when you looked up and saw her towering over you next to your desk.

“Shit–” You gasp, jumping back in your seat and almost hitting her chin.

Lottie tilts her head, completely unfazed, with a look of false innocence and curiosity on her face. The look of someone in search of an information.

The vision of Mari crying at the beginning of the year comes back to your mind and a shiver with a line of sweat runs down your spine. Oh no.

“Did you guys break up?” She asks and it's the last thing you expected.

“What?”

Lottie sits next to you, smoothing her skirt over her legs, completely at ease.

“Look, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” she starts with an anxious air, “But please do 'cause I really want to know.”

"Know what?" God, your head is already hurting from this conversation.

Lottie seems to realize that your confusion is genuine, because she stops and frowns at you.

“Didn’t you and Van break up? I thought you were together.”

What the fuck?

"...No? We’re not?”

“Are you asking me?” Lottie arches an eyebrow, also confused.

"No." You clear your throat and roll your tense shoulders, “We’re not.”

“Oh,” she doesn’t seem to know what to say after that, strangely disappointed – just like you.

The period passes with the two of you in an awkward, resigned silence and as you're leaving, Lottie follows you down the halls, attracting glances as you pass by, which was the last thing you wanted at the moment.

“What now?” You sigh.

“I think you should talk to her and sort things out.” Lottie says, “She seems so sad lately, without her usual sparkle.”

You could understand where Lottie was coming from, seeing Van upset was truly heartbreaking, but you couldn't help the bitter pang in your chest. She ran away after the kiss, not you. The kiss she gave you.

“She’s hiding from me." You admit begrudgingly, “Where else could I talk to her, anyway?”

“In the Homecoming, of course!” Lottie nods at you sagely, as if couldn't be more obvious.

“Of course.” You agree, because, the hell, why not?

The Homecoming is on the weekend, the same weekend the team was supposed to be away for the nationals, which must be why the girls are there, to try and lift their spirits.

You recognize Jackie talking excited to Taissa about something near the tables at the back of the gym, next to a grumpy Shauna with a glass of punch in a hand and the other placed on her waist – in a definitely more then friendly way –, but no sign of of Van in sight.

You end up outside with Natalie, smoking against a wall, as always happen at every party you're at together. She's telling you about how she saw Jeff and Randy with a bottle of liquor before coming in and that they would probably baptize the punch, you both talked about ratting them out to one of the teachers in charge after sneaking a few cups and you probably would’ve done that if Lottie hadn't joined you – coming from who knows where – to ask for a cigarette too.

Nat joked about how it probably wasn't like the expensive brands she seemed to prefer at her parties, but she handed one over without a hitch and the three of you sat there, looking up at the dark and starry sky for a moment.

“You haven’t seen her yet?” Lottie breaks the silence, casually breathing in the smoke.

Nat looks at you sideways and all you do is shrug, not wanting to admit the defeat.

“You should try it near the stands.” She declares.

“What are you, a psychic or something?” You scoff, but go anyway because like Van said, Lottie knows about these things.

She is there. Of course she is. Sitting in the stands staring out at the empty field, wearing a light blue suit with a white shirt and a matching shiny tie that you have no idea where she could have gotten, because there's no way her mom would have let her buy it.

Van notices you approaching by the sound of your footsteps on the ground, her head turning to watch you and for a moment you're afraid she'll run away again.

She doesn't, so you approach, trying your best not to run towards her.

“I gotta quit smoking soon,” you say, stepping on the cigarette your hand was holding and making an overly dramatic effort to sit next to her with heavy breaths, “Or I’ll end up being kicked of track ‘till year is finished.”

Van snorts, “Right, Ponyboy Curtis.”

For a moment it's like anything hasn’t changed between you both, you bet that if you tried with conviction you could almost pretend that nothing had happened. Almost.

“You ran away from me." You say.

“I did.” Van lowers her head, quietly. Embarrassed. You’re not sure of what exacly.

"Why?" You ask, because that's the question that's been running through your mind for days.

“I–” Van looks away from you, “I thought you wouldn't want that.”

“And I thought you knew how much I wanted it." You say and Van lifts her head to stare at you with wide, hopefully eyes, “What do you want, Van?”

Her jaw drops and she looks like she was expecting everything but that, her hands twitch on her thighs, as if she wants to reach you.

“You look so beautiful right now." She sighs softly before steadying her voice, “You look so beautiful that I want to kiss you again.”

"Do it."

And she does, hard and desperate, crushing her nose against yours, as if she's hungry and can't get enough; you wrap your arms around her, hands touching her with the same need.

The lack of air is too much, so Van pulls away from you to immediately start distributing quick kisses down your neck, as if it could all disappear in a second, becoming confident when you tilt your head to grant her more access and only stopping after the hiss that you let go because she bites.

“So…” she laughs nervously, “What now?”

"Now?" You’re out of breath, “Well, can we go back inside and help Nat steal liquour to screw with Jeff and Randy or…”

"Or?" Van arches an eyebrow in amusement.

“We can go home and I can show you how much I missed you.” You shrug, casually tightening your hands on her waist.

“Hm,” she pretends to think about it, “I guess I like the first option better.”

Van laughs at the sound of your offended squeal and avoids the slap you try to give her shoulder.

“Careful, baby,” she intertwines your hand with hers, “I’m gonna start to think that you love me.”

“Oh, you better know that.”

You pull her by her stupid shiny tie and kiss her when she laughs again and let Van guide you to that hideous truck staggering laughing through the crowd of students.

Yeah, you think. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[vansmissingcheek]

OKAY BUT WHY DOES NOBODY TALK ABOUT THE URGE OF KISSING VAN'S SCARS!!!???? 😡

You’re so real for this.

Teen Timeline

As her soft snores infiltrate the wooden attic, Van curls tightly into your side. She often fell asleep like this. Her cheek pressed firmly to your chest. The raised red lines always seemed to draw you in. Your fingertips finding purchase on her cheekbone. Van stirs, eyes fluttering. She nudges her head upwards to peer at you but says nothing. The quiet settles over you both. Your fingers gently tracing her scars. Slowly, you tilt your head downwards to press a soft kiss to Van’s forehead. Then her temple and then her cheek. The raised area pushing against the plush of your lips. Scar tissue had never felt so warm and inviting. The upturn of her mouth brushing along your chin a ritual at this point. Content sighs left her as she let her head fall into the space between your shoulder and your jaw. Slipping slowly in a sleep once again. Safe and warm.

Adult

Although Van didn’t tell you much of anything when you first started dating, a part of you knew that the scars were a side effect of the crash. I mean she never explicitly spoke about the accident, not even to you, but there was a profound darkness that seemed to cast over her at even the smallest of references. (Ik she hates Final Destination) Some of Van’s common answers when someone would ask about her scars would be something stupid like, “I wanted to be Chucky for Halloween” when it’s literally July or “I really liked the Joker movie.” Even though she fucking hated it. Either way, in this moment, her scars were under your palm as you held her jaw firmly. Van’s breaths reflecting into your mouth. Leaning on the wall of her loft, she gripped your arm with one fist. Van’s other hand shakily set itself on your hip. As you felt her grip the skin of your arm tightly you removed your mouth from hers. You knew her well enough to dodge her next kiss, dropping your lips to her jaw. Even as she lifted her head to allow you more surface area on her neck, you knew it was the flesh of her cheek you loved most. The blunt ridges were always the victim of your daily attacks. Constantly placing swift kisses to her cheek at any given moment. Now it was near instinctive to do it, even in these moments where passion proceeds playfulness.

I just know she wipes them off like a disrespectful toddler. oh my god- when you give her an exaggerated smooch on the cheek as she’s reshelving tapes! ik she groans so loud even though she loves it.

Van is so silly I need her.

[happysparklingshadows]

𝚅𝚊𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚊 𝙿𝚊𝚕𝚖𝚎𝚛 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜 ('𝟿𝟼)

Warnings: little toxic parts, a little bit of 90s internalized homophobia, talk about religious trauma, talk about abusive households, and abuse of alcohol and drugs.

Notes: This is just something for everyone to snack on while I write the 5th chapter of Certain Hunger. Van is so underrated and is so hot!

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

♡ Van is a Taurus Sun and a Cancer Rising (just a big old teddy bear)

♡ Her favorite color is burnt orange, like a sunset.

♡  Van is a huge dog person. I can see her having a Doberman Pinscher or Rottweiler and also having a small dog. She has trained the big dog to be gentle with the little one but is still a very protective dog to walk around with. She likes to scare men away from her with her big dog and make sure that she and her girlfriend are well-protected. She seems like someone who loves to come home and see her dogs excited to see her home.

Vanessa's Spirit Animal Is a Fox

♡ Van is an Extrovert with no shame. She can talk to almost anyone, even if she doesn't like them at all. She can go to any party and make friends without trying, and sometimes she hates that about herself. People tend to just come to her with problems or things they can't help her for support, even if they just met.

♡  Van's favorite food is Pizza and Cheese bread. She is relatively easy to cook for because she doesn't fuss over anything after being used to eating her mother's burnt food all her childhood. She loves Italian food in particular, as well as easy takeout pizza and bread.

♡ Her Childhood was very rough. Her mom and Dad had an intensely toxic relationship that was filled with booze and generation trauma, which consisted of 5 children, with Van being the third. Screaming fights and breaking glass were an early childhood regular for her, and her being hit for punishments was to be expected. Van always thought this was normal, not all the drinking but the hitting and the shame was just a part of being in a family, but when she grows up, she realizes how fucked up her childhood was. Van was the forgotten middle child who didn't make a fuss at the house but was a class clown at school. She doesn't have a very close relationship with either of her parents or even her siblings because of the age gaps between them. Van is from an Irish Catholic family, and her family went to every mass like a typical family. She knew she was gay early on, but she didn't realize being gay was such a massive sin until she was a teenager, which made her have a lot of religious conflict within her, but she has come to her own sense of religion with her sexuality and view of the world. She believes God still loves her even though she is gay because he made her that way, and she believes the bible has been edited to benefit the people in power.

♡ Van's best friend is Lottie Matthews, and she is very close to Taissa, Natalie, and Laura Lee. She loves to sneak out of her house to hang out with her friends at the mall with the little money she gets from her part-time job. She spends more time with her friends than her family and is closer to them than her family as well. She will sooner tell Lottie a problem than her own mother.

♡ Van has an extremely high sex drive and is always looking for an out to go sneak away to fuck. She doesn't mind being top or bottom, but she really likes to be on top of you, her hands always sneaking into your pants.

♡ Van's main vice will be alcohol her whole life. She would sneak around small sips of her dad's beer as a child, and when she was a pre-teen, she would steal gulps of vodka hidden in the fridge. She is constantly fighting with herself to not drink crazy like her parents, but she can't help herself from the urges she gets to have when times get tough.

♡ ⚠️Unpopular opinion⚠️ Van does have some toxic masc! Lesbian tendencies. She is the masc, so why does she have to clean? Why does she have to talk so much about her feelings when she can just hold you until the feelings go away? Why does she have to be tender when she can be mean?

♡ ⚠️Unpopular opinion 2⚠️I think young Van is very idealistic in relationships and wants to be with the same person for the rest of her life. She is loyal to the core, especially when it comes to the person to show her tender love for the first time. She will say I love you very quickly, talk about the future without hesitation, and talk about getting married one day. She has the mindset of an average Midwest mascline person about how she wants her life to go. She wants the whole white picket fence with you.

♡ ⚠️Unpopular opinion 3⚠️She has a breeding kink!!

𝙳𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙰𝚄/𝚄𝚗𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚎

♡ Royalty AU! Spinster Noble is from a very wealthy family who just never got married. She doesn't have any position of power in court, but she has capital power in general. She is the noble who is always with you when you attend court and becomes your mistress.

♡ Delinquent AU! Streetfighter. Van gives me a very aggressive bottled up-angry fighter who picks on people who remind her of her mother or are just dicks. In my mind, she gives off Vi from Arcane season two, a pit fighter who wins every fight they're in. Imagine the cuts and scars on Van's face coming from fighting.

♡ Supernatural AU! Hellhound. I don't know why, but she would be a werewolf. The idea that it's a werewolf on fire is just so Van. Van would be a very cool beast that can set things on fire and claw something in half. She would be a very cool villain on an episode of Supernatural.

♡ Superhero/Marvel AU! Ironman. The snarky, sarcastic humor, the tough guy persona with a soft heart, and the problem with vulnerability. They are the same character. I think Van would 100% use her skills to save herself from a bad situation like Tony Stark did, and I think her being so independent makes her just like Tony.

♡ College AU! Dropped out of college with a business major but returned to college a few years later to wield. She really did try to go to college and apply for the FAFSA and everything, but it just wasn't for her. She went to a few frat parties and applied to too many classes, which made her disillusioned with the whole concept of college. So, she dropped out of school without protest from her family. However, Van reapplied to a community college in her mid-twenties to start a welding program, which she loves very much and thinks she has found her calling.

𝙿𝚛𝚎-𝙲𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚑 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

♡ Van was on you since the day she met you. She has known of you for a long time in school but does not know much about you because she was from a different class. She finally met you and got to know you when you both were in detention together, and slowly, you two got into classes together. You became her friend over the years; you became very close in high school. One night, she confesses she has feelings for girls, and you confess you did, too. You both started dating as soon as you said that, and it was sealed with a passionate kiss.

♡  Van fucking loves movie dates and walking around the mall. It's a cheap date when you go to the movies in the early afternoon and then go to the Olive Garden that was in the mall, then she can spend the little money she makes at her fast food job on you. Every week, you watch the movies on Friday after school or work. Van is a huge horror movie fan, but she is a sucker for a good rom-com. You two are fucking killers in a game of Trivia or Charades. The two of you are shameless waters of celebrity drama and talk about it together throughout the week like they were real people in your lives.

♡  Van has her mom's old, beaten-up car, and she uses every excuse to leave the house. She leaves to go to your home all the time, to the point that she is like a roommate. She takes you to State Lines and Makeout Creek. She treats you with princess treatment and Lottie with backseat jester privileges.

♡  Although Van is very clearly out of the closet, she is still hidden in the closet because of the generation she is in. There is too much shame to be out to her family that she isn't even close with, but she talks a lot about having a family with you and getting married even though it's not legal. She says the plan is to graduate and go to college, get an apartment, and become roommates, but in reality, you two will be married. You couldn't be legally married, but you could be married in the eyes of god and your eyes, which really matters.

♡  Van is an Anxious Partner. She isn't worried every time you disagree but has moments of insecurity that you will leave her because of a fight. All she wants is to always be with you, but it becomes a problem at points because she can be smothering or she doesn't get anything done because she thinks about only you when she is away from you.

𝚆𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

♡ Similar to Taissa, over time in the wilderness, Van becomes more open about the fact that you are together. Hers comes somewhat from a place of possessiveness toward you and letting the other know not to mess with you. Van will grow so open to kissing you in public that she doesn't even realize others are around. Van swears to God It that if you two survive, she will tell everyone that you are her wife.

♡ Undoubtedly, there will be a wedding in the woods, with the team members witnessing the union. You would hold wildflowers in both of your hands and wear dresses, as Lottie was the one to officiate the wedding.

♡  Van is fucking you every time you move when you are out in the wilderness. Van's stomach aches from eating nothing but your pussy for months. She often thinks about you two having sex and how she can sneak you away to get her mouth on your mound again. She is obsessed with your musk.

♡  She would imagine having a child with you a lot. Even if she couldn't physically put a child in you, she tried. She knew it was crazy to think about having children at this time, but she couldn't help her human urge to yearn for children in times of fear.

♡  She becomes exceptionally smothering in the woods at times, but it feels protective and safe. You two feel safe as long as you two were in eye shot of each other ever since the near death experiences, as soon as your separated the both of you have panic attacks. You know its toxic when she tells you that you aren't safe without her or that you can't ever leave her side.

Taissa Headcanons ✿ Lottie Headcanons ✿

[flowerbxuquet]

The core 7 Yellowjackets with an s/o who loves halloween.

A/n: HAPPY OCTOBER!!! i luv halloween season

Characters: Natalie Scatorccio, Lottie Matthews, Van Palmer, Misty Quigley, Shauna Shipman and Taissa Turner

Natalie Scatorccio

“That is so childish”

And then she does everything with you anyways.

Natalie didn’t have an awesome childhood, sure she went trick or treating a few times but she never got super into any of that stuff.

Shes hesitant at first, not really seeing the point until she sees how excited you are about getting in the halloween spirit.

Natalie ends up getting just as excited about halloween as you do once she gets super into festivities

matching costumes

eating candy

carving pumpkins

and most importantly

scaring the shit out of little kids.

Natalie likes the scary aspect of halloween.

Natalie is the type of person to go to spirit halloween to try out all the animatronics

she buys abunch of freaky little masks to scare you with.

oh she’s AWFUL when it comes to actual Halloween night

leaves a bowl of candy outside the trailer with a sign and then jumps out to scare the living shit out of little kids with some scary ass masks.

“Natalie! That is SO mean!” You scold her, she thinks it’s funny though.

Natalie would love your halloween obsession, although hesitant at first, she would indulge in the fun.

Lottie Matthews

“But why though?”

Lottie doesn’t get it.

C’mon guys, let’s be serious

she’s rich

I don’t think this girls ever gone trick or treating in her life

her parents didn’t see the point of going out and asking for free candy when they could literally buy Lottie pounds of it whenever she wanted to.

Lottie doesn’t really strike me as someone who likes chocolate.

she likes other candy, probably sour stuff or like jolly ranchers.

she likes the baking aspect of it though.

she’ll make halloween cookies with you or pumpkin bread or pie.

if you ask her to carve pumpkins with you..

it’s a big fat no

Lottie thinks it’s gross

she might carve one but you have to take out all the pumpkin guts for her

smh, princess behavior 🙄

she loves to go to pumpkin patches though, she thinks they’re cute.

she DOES NOT like scary stuff though.

no haunted houses for her

if you get her to watch any horror movies with you, she’ll squeal and cling onto you the whole time (pookie)

she likes to hand out candy though.

Lottie likes seeing all the cute little kids running around in costumes, it’s adorable to her

Lottie would love to have a matching couples costume though

Overall, Lottie is okay with halloween, she likes the cute costumes. She definitely prefers Christmas though.

Van Palmer

Are u serious?

Van FUCKING LOVES HALLOWEEN

Definitely trick or treated a lot as a kid and indulged in all of that shit even if her mom wasn’t very present.

Van loves to cuddle up and eat candy, watching horror movies with you.

She will ramble through all of the movies though, so beware.

Doesn’t really get scared easily.

Like Natalie, she will have a shit ton of scary masks

She’ll pop out at random moments and scare you, laughing her ass off

she doesn’t care how old she is

you guys are fucking going trick or treating

there’s literally no way to say no

you’re going

she doesn’t even dress up as anything scary or serious

she’ll dress up as some stupid shit like in the dinosaur costumes

jus for fun

she will def carve pumpkins with you

she’s not a good artist though, her pumpkins always end up wonky

but she’s cute so it’s ok

Van loves halloween so much and she’s glad her favorite person in the world is equally as passionate about it as she is.

you guys will be making out while watching a horror movie and she’ll break off the kiss to start rambling on about the movie

you’re just like ….

overall, Van loves halloween, and you guys will definitely be doing any festivities.

Decorating

Carving pumpkins

going to pumpkin patches

whatever

everything fr

Taissa Turner

Taissa doesn’t really care for halloween

like she doesn’t hate it but she doesn’t like it either

it’s just like

another day for her tbh

but if you’re into it, she’ll try and be supportive

she’s not scared easily

she’ll watch horror movies with a straight face

she jumps a little but that’s it

she likes some scary movies though so she’ll indulge with you.

she mostly likes laughing at the stupid characters and pointing out all the realistic flaws in the movie

Taissa will carve pumpkins with you, she’ll probably just do a basic jack-o-lantern though.

she’s probably gone trick or treating a few times

again, like Lottie, I don’t see her as a big chocolate person

she’d much rather just put out a bowl of candy and cuddle with you, watching scary movies.

she loves haunted houses though.

if you’re scared of them, she’ll laugh as you cling onto her while she barely even flinches

Not much to say abt Taissa tbh

she doesn’t hate halloween but she doesn’t like it either

not really a holiday person.

Shauna Shipman

Shauna likes halloween as much as a normal person does

She just loves fall

Snuggling up with you and making hot cocoa while reading a book

shes just a fall girlie

she loves the pumpkin spice drinks LMFAOOO

loves having matching costumes

Shauna has a sweet tooth def

so you guys will buy loads of candy if you don’t want to go trick or treating

you guys probably got a candy bowl to put outside and then last minute decided you guys wanted it instead 😭😭

Shauna will carve pumpkins with you because she thinks it’s pretty

she LOVE LOVE LOVES pumpkin patches

walking around and looking at all the fall decorations and events.

holding onto you because, atleast at the pumpkin patches i’ve gone to, the scare actors will walk around

Shauna likes horror movies but she’s still very afraid of them

clinging to you while she watches through peeked eyes

she’s definitely tried to scare you a few times but she’s bad at it

pops out too late

or you just don’t walk past the room she’s waiting in and she gets bored

she loves to decorate though

she thinks the animatronics are cool, she’ll just go to spirit to look at them

not even scared

just fascinated

her favorite halloween movie is halloweentown bye this is real if u don’t agree ur not correct

makes you watch every single halloweentown movie

multiple times

the whole month of October

Shauna likes to bake the little halloween cookies, or pumpkin pie or bread

Shauna just loves pumpkin, it’s definitely her favorite flavor.

overall, Shauna likes halloween, but she’s not too obsessed. But she would love to indulge in your obsession.

Misty Quigley

Misty understands!!!

Misty loves halloween too!!!

Misty never had friends growing up, so if you want to spend time with her doing halloween stuff she will LOVE it

she’ll carve pumpkins, decorate, visit stores, go to pumpkin patches with you

oh god, if you like to go trick or treating and you ask her to come

she will MELT

no one ever wanted to hang out with her growing up and no one ever asked her that.

“Are you…crying?” You ask, confused once you ask Misty to come trick or treating with you.

She isn’t very scared, but she will squeak and flinch a lot during movies or haunted houses.

or she’ll pretend to be scared..

so you can hold her close and cuddle her.. :))

Misty loves to bake, so she will want to bake little fall treats with you as well.

she likes haunted houses I think, she loves the adrenaline of it all

or like escape rooms

Misty lives for that adrenaline pumping shit.

Misty will want to have matching costumes

she honestly doesn’t even care what it is

she just likes to know someone likes her enough to match with her.

Misty gets kind of carried away though..

like if you just want to have a chill halloween and just hand out candy

Misty will probably try to teasingly scare children in like a playful way

it’s not playful

she probably ends up traumatizing these kids for life in some way

pretends to cut her hand off or something but it looks hyper realistic for some reason.

“Misty..you gotta stop doing that..” “What? I’m just having fun!”

Misty’s so innocent she doesn’t really realize that’s she’s well..

terrifying

Misty also definitely has a sweet tooth so if you guys don’t end up trick or treating

you will definitely end up with pounds of candy regardless

Misty would rather have a chill night in, snuggling and eating chocolate with you anyways.

overall, Misty is awesome and scary and she loves halloween jus as much as u do <33

[peach-and-bugs]

Hey! I was hoping to request a dialogue request for teen van with 9 and/or 11. Fluff would be great but if you want to add smut that’s fine lol

🧡Nose-Goes - Van Palmer x fem!Reader🧡

Fanfiction master list

disclaimer: don't repost my work. I only post on Tumblr and on Ao3. anything else is stolen and should be removed immediately

Summary: Practice goes wrong and you're left with a lot to clean up...

Warnings: blood, broken bones/injuries, wound cleaning/patching up w/ fluff, very quick mention of periods/PMS, implied sexual conversation

Word Count: 2,394

A/N: Hello Loves! this was such a cute and definitely wanted request. I had two people ask for this number with Van specifically! Van is such a cutie and I was very happy to write this for her. She actually comes quite naturally to me to write. not much more to say on this one, so as always, feel free to leave questions or comments in my comments or ask box, and happy reading! 🧡

Van Palmer Tag List:

Yellowjackets Tag List: @frasersgf

General Tag List: @summergeezburr

-🧡-

You were not in the mood for practice today. Not for any particular reason, but today just didn’t feel like the day. You just felt so gross for no reason! Maybe it was that time of the month again. You weren't sure, but you still needed to go, no matter how much you wanted just to leave the locker room without a word. You were thinking all of this while filling your water bottle with a mopy look on your face. That is til you were grabbed into a surprise bear hug from behind that made you shriek. There was an unforgettable laugh that flowed into your ears and you groaned as you were released, only to turn around and punch your attacker in the arm which only provided more laughter. 

“Fuck you, Vanessa Palmer!” you yelped as you attempted to hide the smile that began to grow, tugging at your lips to reveal your teeth. Some of the other girls began to peek around the lockers momentarily before returning to what they’d been doing. Van only grinned, suppressing her laughter as she wiped tears from her eyes. 

“Damn, that was so good! You really screamed that time!” you rolled your eyes, picking up your water bottle that had now spilled into the fountain, ruining all your work. 

“Yeah, not like you’re familiar with that,” you murmured so only your companion could hear despite the echo the locker room had. Van wiggled her brow and grinned, but a mild blush still filled those freckled cheeks she had. Probably from her ego. 

“Oh you know and I’m damn proud,” she said, her chin practically resting on your shoulder as she whispered in your ear. 

“Well keep acting like that and you won't hear it till next semester,” you raised your brows high and gave her a grin of your own. Her hands subtly found your hips and she shook her head. 

“Eh, I know you. You’ll come around. There ain't a guy in this school who can do what I do,” you tilted your head then turned your eyes down to your water bottle as you screwed on the lid.

“Who said anything about finding a guy?” you promptly walked away from her and back to your locker to grab your towel before heading to the field. But you did catch a glance at the goalie, lips parted as she tried not to leave her mouth agape. You knew she hated that idea but in a sexy way. You smiled knowingly at her but darted outside before she could say anything about it. You were still grinning when you took your place in the group circle for stretching next to Shauna. The brunette glanced at you, noticing your grin, and tapped you on the shoulder to get your attention.

“You good? Heard you scream in there,” she nodded her head towards the locker room door just as Van made her grand entrance. You chuckled again and nodded, twisting your back to loosen up before leaning down to touch your toes. 

“Oh yeah. I just got her back for that is all,” Shauna gave you a knowing look and nodded. 

“How’s all that going anyways?” she asked in a whisper as you both leaned down. 

“Oh, you know. As well as you’d expect,” you played coy, not wanting to give too much away. 

“And she’s good?” Shauna, always curious asked. You gave her a simple, wordless look, and her brows raised. “Damn, good on you,” she chuckled with you. Shauna was the only person, if anyone, who knew of your “relations” outside of soccer practice with Van. It hadn’t been on purpose. She’d walked in on Van kissing you in the locker room lang after practice when you hadn’t expected anyone to come in. thank god it had been her rather than someone like Laura Lee. The girl was great and all, but had she seen she’d likely have called for hellfire to rain down then and there. She was cool about it and kept that secret safe for you both. You suspected others might have picked up on it, but Shauna was the only one to know in detail. 

“Alright ladies, time for drills,” Coach Ben interjected, bringing out the balls for practice and putting an end to stretches. “We’ve got three weeks before it’s time to start thinking about nationals, so let's bring out A game, alright?” you lined up for basic net aim to practice shooting and to help Van with blocking. You hung back in the line with Shauna while Jackie went first, watching quietly as the other girls had their go. Jackie was blocked rather quickly and didn’t seem all that happy with it. She joined the line again behind you with an irritated look. Next was Tai and then Lottie, who all got blocked just like Jackie, who now had a furrowed brow and a firm frown with crossed arms. 

“Damn, Van’s really on it today,” Jackie huffed. 

“Good. We need her focused up,” Tai said simply with a shrug. 

“She seemed mad when I went,” Lottie chimed in. Shauna gave you a knowing look and you chuckled to yourself, leaning into Shauna's ear to whisper. 

“She’d not mad. She’s bothered, shall we say,” Shauna suppressed a snorting laugh and covered her mouth, but you could see the smile in her eyes. 

“y/n, eyes up!” Coach yelled. It was your turn and you hadn’t been looking. 

“Right, sorry,” you said, moving up to get into position. You made fleeting eye contact with your goalie with a smirk on your lips before focusing back on Couch, who kicked the ball your way. You made a mad dash, moving to the left of the net before switching up last second to nip the net in the right corner. It made a satisfying swishing sound and Van nearly nosedived into the dirt. There was a quiet cheer with unceremonious applause behind you and you jokingly took a bow, enjoying the praise. You turned to Van, who had gotten back on her feet and was smearing dirt across her cheek. You wrinkled your nose with a smile, saluting her as you jogged to the back of the line. She finally loosened up, smiling and shaking her head before focusing on her task once again. 

Things didn’t go wrong till you were doing your classing 4v4 drill. It was you, Tai, Laura Lee, and Natalie against Jackie, Shauna, Lottie, and Allie. The field had been made smaller with cones moving the endzone up. It was simple and you’d done it a million times. Just get the ball into the other “team’s” endzone, but each player only got three touches on the ball. It was all about synchronization, speed, and timing. You were on you’re third run of the drill by now and you’d gotten into a good groove with your team. Maybe that had made you cocky. 

You started simple. Tai scooped the ball on the whistle and drove it down the field as far as she could. After her three touches, it was passed to Natalie, who drove it farther down. She was prepping to pass it on to Laura Lee when Shauna slid in out of nowhere, knocking the ball out of the way and into Jackie, who quickly passed it to Allie but was intercepted by Tai again. The ball was far too close to your endzone for your liking, and while there wasn’t a goalie for this exercise, you took it upon yourself to stay close to the endzone in case of an incident like this. Tai was prepping to pass the ball back to Laura Lee or Natalie, both being in range and ready, but as she started the pass, Allie did a running slide and- smack. 

You have no other recollection of what followed other than a blur of black and white, and a loud crackling, crunching sound before you even realized you’d hit the ground. You squeezed your eyes shut tight, everything spinning around you as the ringing in your ears subsided and you heard muffled voices of concern, but especially Van cursing quite aggressively. You refused to open your eyes as you bit your lip hard. 

“y/n, can you hear me? Hey! Help me here, I need her to sit up and lean forward as much as she can!” you heard a squeaky, high-pitched voice yelling beside you as someone slid in behind you, helping you move up and leaning forward as instructed. You realized this was Lottie as you started opening you’re eyes. You felt crowded around you, that is till you noticed Van nealed in front of you, reaching out to cradle you’re facing in her palms.

“ok, chin up and take a breath for me. You’re tuning purple,” she instructed. You let go of the air you'd been holding in your mouth with a shaky groan. You hadn't even realized you'd been holding your breath. 

“Misty, go call her mom,” Coach instructed.

“What's her-” the blond started. She was right beside you, you noticed now given how close her voice was. 

“I’ll go with her,” Shauna pitched in, thankfully knowing your home phone number. It only then clicked. You'd broken your nose, maybe. It was so hard to tell with things like this. You looked down at the grass between your legs at the small pool of blood forming from the heavy stream coming from your nose. You reached up a curious hand to touch the unseen injury, crossing your eyes for some kind of image. It still wasn’t registering, given the adrenaline rush you had going on. You heard Lottie hiss beside you, her hand on your back. 

“Oh no, don’t…” she murmured, but Van took care of it, taking your hand in hers before your fingers made any contact with your nose. 

“Let’s not do that, ok?” she used her gentle voice with you. You’d always liked that.

“How bad is it?” you finally managed to ask. 

“Well, you kinda look like shit. You also busted your lip,” Van chuckled. You managed to reciprocate and sat up more as the bloodstream subsided. 

“Why thank you,” you tried joking, but you started feeling lightheaded. 

“Ok. Van take her to the locker room I’ll have Misty bring you some ice when she’d done with the phone. And help her get her things, alright?” he seemed quite irritated with the whole situation. Van nodded and let go of your hand in exchange for hooking her arm under yours with your arm over her shoulder as she helped you hobble to the locker room without falling over. Lottie followed behind to grab your things. Allie, who was standing off over by the bench turned her gaze from you as you passed. 

“Here, lay down on you’re back. And breathe through your nose for me, ok,” Van instructed once in the locker room, sitting down beside you. She helped you into a lying position with your head in her lap. Lottie left your water bottle and towel on the bench beside you while Van helped you lie down. “Hey Lot? Can you get me a wet rag?” Van asked, her hand absently running over your forehead and hair. She wasn’t hiding as well as she normally did at the moment. But in your lightheaded state, you didn’t mind it. Lottie nodded, disappearing for a minute and returning with a wet rad as requested. Van nodded her thanks and smiled ad Lottie left quite quickly, leaving you alone with the redhead. 

“Look at you, nurse Vanessa. Never thought you the type,” your voice was horse suddenly. Van chuckled and rolled her eyes. 

“I’ve had enough sports-related injuries to know what's up. I’m gonna dab some of this blood away and cool your nose down for the swelling till we get that ice. That alright?” you nodded. The rag was cool on your nose, but it was enough to have you feeling the pain now. “Damn, you took that like a champ, huh?” she murmured as she wiped away the last bit of blood crusting around your nose. You shrugged, hands folded on your stomach as you looked up at her. 

“I didn’t even have time to react or feel it,” Van smiled again. Her free hand moved to caress your jaw, brushing loose hair from it. Her fingers brushed against your throat where she could feel your pulls beating. She wasn’t hiding the intention well. She dabbed the rag at you’re lip. 

“Allie should have planned that better,” she mumbled. 

“I don’t think Allie thinks about stuff like that,” the ginger scoffed. 

“Yeah, and one day it’s gonna get her seriously in the shit,” 

“She’s young. She’s got time to learn,”

“Well, she better learn quick,” you couldn’t help laughing, then hissing with a cringed look as the involuntary scrunching of your nose sent a shockwave of pain over your face. 

“Hey, careful. And where’s misty with that ice?” Van cooed, her brow knit in worry. It was so sweet of her, honestly, the tenderness and concern mingling in her gaze for you. You couldn’t help smiling up at her. “What?” she asked, noticing the look. 

“Will you kiss me?” you asked in a low tone, almost a whisper. She paused, moving the rag away from you’re face. 

“I wouldn’t want to hurt you more…” she argued against the voice in her head telling her how she wanted to say yes. 

“Then be gentle,” you insisted. “You will. You’re always gentle with me,” Van smiled and sighed, giving in. She leaned down, her lips sideways against yours. She kissed softly. Too soft for your liking. You reached up your hand, hooking it around the back of her neck to pull her down further. Her free hand caressed your forehead and she chuckled against your swollen lip. The added pressure sent a mild pain through your lip, but you didn’t mind. You enjoyed the feeling in a mildly masochistic way. She pulled away first but lingered to smile down at you, admiring your eyes. 

“I’m gonna have to be gentle with you for a while, aren't I?” she mused. You shrugged, brushing your fingers over her cheek. 

“Yeah, but we both like that,” her only reply was a hum before she leaned back in for another taste.

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

Yo so these are head-cannons from this thot a while ago.

Also the internet has come back, hopefully long term (never ever been this happy before), but enjoy for now xxx

*****

transmasc Van and Nat btw (I LOVE THEM!!!)

*****

Was definitely way too into it at the time to notice wtf you were doing.

Continues to not know about it until she goes on there later (Callie set her up on it, of which you did not know).

"Y/n……. What is this?" "Uhhhhhhh nothing, just a BeReal." "I can see that sweet thing, but who else is in it?"

You know you're fucked regardless of how you respond.

That's pretty much all I can think of honestly (I'm out here tryna keep yall fed, sorry).

---

Again, was probably way too into it at the time to notice.

Then she looks over your shoulder later on, while you're sat together watching TV.

"Watcha got there, love, hmmm?" "Nothinggggg" "Nothing huh, well if it's nothing can I see it?" "Nooooooooo"

Somehow ends up getting her hands on it (definitely did not chase you around to try and grab your phone, and/or tickle you when you wouldn't give up). "Oh?"

Honestly kinda flustered at first (even though she probably has no idea how it works).

Then makes it her screensaver for like a week, until someone accidently picks up her phone.

Poor baby gets so scared that someone's seen it, and changes it back to a more PG photo of the two of you.

100% gets a lesbian spider sense and looks up JUST as you post it.

But doesn't say anything until way after, when she somehow gets her hands on it.

"Baby, I love you, but I swear to god, if people find that and use it as a reason to not elect me, I will be mad." "Oooooooooh, maybe I like it when you're mad 😏." "Y/NNNNN!!!"

You end up taking it down after a couple hours (idk if you can do that, I haven't used BeReal in ages), cause you don't wanna actually make her mad.

Again that's pretty much it, idk.

---

This boy has no idea wtf BeReal is or how it works, but is definitely a little curious about it.

Honestly like extremely flustered by it when he finds it while looking on your phone for something (idk, like something you asked him to look at or grab from it).

"I'm not mad about it, it's actually kinda cool, but outta curiosity, how many people are gonna see that?" "I don't know." "Wha- how can you not- HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH?!"

Poor baby boy is very confused, but it's okay, he's cool with it.

---

The most smug motherfucker on earth when he finds it.

But then again honestly doesn't really give much of a shit.

But also 100% screenshotted it and sent it from your phone to his and looks at it alllllllllllll the fucking time may of masturbated to it once or twice when you weren't there 🤫.

Definitely makes it his screensaver too like Lottie, but has no shame about it whatsoever.

Not really got much else to say other then that honestly, but they speak for themselves, baby boy Nat has no shame whatsoever.

---

A little confused by it, like the whole sorta aspect of it, like "Why do people have to know everything about what people are doing?"

SAYS THE FUCKING STALKER/KIDNAPPER! anyways......

Defo hacks into your phone later on while you're asleep (cause that's just so much more fun then just taking it and unlocking it or whatever).

And also definitely stares at it for like an hour straight (that babygirl is such a freak and a perv, but it's okay, we love her for it).

Let's just say poor baby boy Caligula gets demoted to home screen, and then she changes it around, and he gets bumped back up to lock screen.

As much as Misty loves you, the photo, and just the whole aspect of the situation, she doesn't wanna loose her job for unprofessionalism.

*****

-Harlow

[sirenlulls]

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

grease: rise of the pink ladies

call it what you want —richie valdovinos

spin the bottle —multi-character preferences

emily, i'm sorry —cynthia zdunowski

youtubers

lovers rock —george clarkey

i think he knows —dating george clarkey headcanons

bad idea, right? —theburntchip x youtuber!reader social media au

formula one

nothing yet!

celebrities

arabella —elijah hewson x it girl!reader headcanons

radio —florence pugh x actress!reader social media au

satellite —robert keating x fem!reader headcanons

you're losing me —elijah hewson x singer!reader social media au

lover —ryan mcmahon x fem!reader headcanons

jackie & wilson —elijah hewson x fem!reader parenting headcanons

she's always a woman —josh jenkinson x fem!reader headcanons

sweet —robert keating x fem!reader social media au

[minimickzy]

Practice || Van Palmer Part 2

I am so sorry 😀 University has been insane with hurricanes, car accidents and the like!

dialog prompts:

"Hold my hand" "Absolutely not" "We should kiss, for like practice" "I've liked you since you hit me with a rock at recess in 1st grade." "fuck you"

Characters: Van x Reader, the whole team

Word count: 2564

That night after Kevyn dropped you off at home you were pretty drunk, and now in your room alone to face your thoughts.

You had gotten so close- so close to just knocking down the safety rails and jumping into the universe that is one Van Palmer.

You brushed your teeth, changed, chugged a glass of water to avoid a killer hangover, and then flopped face-first into your bed.

You pictured Van, looking at you- though you after you had all but confessed to her. She had to know right? Even she isn’t that dense. Or maybe she is when it comes to herself and not characters on a screen.

You huffed and rolled onto your back. This was ridiculous- you’re being ridiculous. First of all, you never even told her you were gay. And she never even hinted at knowing it. You hadn’t even told her about your own questioning thoughts when she came out to you in the 8th grade.

Still, the look on her face from the party was haunting you. That look had only been shared between you a handful of times. The only other time that it had felt that intense was a time that neither of you had talked about since it happened in the 10th grade.

You turned, looking towards your old tv on the ground next to your dresser. You could see the scene playing out in front of you from years ago.

You were studying, well watching a movie. Lottie had loaned you Can’t Buy Me Love. You both had already seen it so Van was talking through the whole thing, riffing off of the cheesy lines. When the end played, and when Roland and Cindy finally got together, Van stayed quiet.

“I wonder what that’s like.”

“What? Riding a lawn mower? It’s not all it cracked up to be.”

“No- to be kissed like that.” You wouldn’t let her change the subject.

“Oh.”

“It seems… nice.” you needed to play coy, but you knew it was kinda of obvious what you were trying to accomplish.

“I guess… But like- what if you missed? I would die of embarrassment.” you had her hooked.

“Yeah, I feel so behind. Like everyone has already kissed or done more with people in school. I don’t want to get to that point and then embarrass myself.”

Van laughed, “With your aim- I’d prepare for that.”

“Hey!” You laughed and hit her arm, leaving it closer to her than it had been before. “We should kiss, for like practice.”

Her eyes widen, but you could tell her smile took effort now. She held eye contact with you, trying to size up your motivations. You tried to hold a look of passive determination. “That’s a good idea. Practice makes perfect right?”

“Right. So how do we do this?” you felt your hands start to clam up.

“I think you should just close your eyes- and I’ll just like- do it.”

You cocked your eyebrow at her, “But then I don’t get aiming practice.”

She rolled her eyes, “Okay, I’ll go first and we’ll switch.”

You nodded before readjusting to kneel in front of her. “Let's do this.” You closed your eyes. You couldn’t say that the first kiss was anything to write home about.

Van had basically just pressed her lips against yours for a second before pulling away.

You opened one eye, giving her a questioning look. Her cheeks were already a bright red against her freckles. “That’s the best you can do, Palmer? Expecting more from a self-proclaimed “lady killer”.

A little of the stress she was holding in her posture went away with an over-dramatic sigh. “Okay, you try asshole.”

You laughed but nodded, “close your eyes.”

She obeyed and readjusted. You tried to remember how people kissed in all the rom-coms the two of you had watched. You wanted to outdo her peck and maybe make her feel that this was a practice session.

You leaned in. And instead of just pressing your lips against hers, you left them parted until you had just started to make contact before using a bit more force and closing your lips on hers.

To your pleasant surprise, Van seemed intrigued as she leaned in, following your lips as you pulled away. You couldn’t help but smile as she whispered “Wait”, her lips brushing yours as she spoke.

You let her kiss you again, this time she didn’t seem as shy, she copied you, moving her lips against yours. In no way were you in sync. It was messy and a little wetter than you’d care to admit- but honestly how could you complain?

Van broke away from you. Her eyes had the same competitive look she had during games. Neither of you said anything- just stared at each other, slightly out of breath, both pink-faced.

Then the phone rang on your dresser behind you, Natalie was calling to see if you wanted to hang out- asking if Van was with you because she hadn’t picked up her phone.

It was a bittersweet memory now but you still cherished it.

The weekend passed- this year's prom fell before the state championship game which meant you’d actually get to go this year unlike last.

Most of the team already had dates, or at least those who seemed to want one. Jackie had all but forced Shauna to go with Randy but everyone knew she had no interest in him whatsoever. Natalie was going with Kevyn, which was great because it meant that you’d have a ride. Lottie, Van, and you had played to go stag together- so at least you’d have company in your singleness.

You adjusted some details on your outfit before hearing a knock on your front door. “You look great and you're going to have a great time.” You smiled to yourself in the mirror reassuringly before heading out the door.

Van was waiting for you outside, she wore a brown tweed suit with a vest instead of a jacket. Under the vest, she had a light sage green button-down and a stripped brown tie. She looked you up and down and let out a low whistle. “Someone cleans up nice.”

You smiled and started to walk towards her, swinging your body lightly side to side, “I’m not the only one.” You wrapped your arm around her shoulder as she rested hers on the small of your back, leading you to the car. She opened the back door for you of Kevyn’s shitty car before running to the other side and letting herself in.

“You look so hot.” Natalie winked at you from the front seat.

You winked back at her and blew her a kiss. “I do it for you, honey,”

She laughed and turned back towards the road as Kevyn drove away.

-

As much as you enjoyed watching couples make out and guys try to impress girls with uncoordinated dancing, the excitement of prom was dying out fast. Your mind was focused on how hot, sweaty, and smelly the enclosed space had become. You stood by the double doors of the gym waiting for Van to come back. She had gone to say hi to someone in one of her classes.

You could see her talking to the girl. She was pretty enough, looked confident, and based on Van's laughter she must be funny too. When Van leaned in to place her hand on the girl's arm laughing- you felt a spark of jealousy and figured it was time that you wanted to get some air outside.

You walked out to the spot behind the school where you and the team would smoke after practice. You had no reason to really be upset- the night had been fun and you had great friends. But you couldn't deny the sting that hung on despite your best efforts. You sat on the ground, wallowing in your thoughts for at least three songs. You could still hear the music from the gym though it was muffled. Your eyes were glued to your feet, expensive dress shoes kicking at the dirt.

Two new feet appeared before yours. “Can I bum a smoke?” You rolled your eyes, not laughing for probably the first ever ever at one of Van's quips.

“Don’t have any.” She shrugged and moved to lean against the wall next to you.

“Good thing I’m always prepared.”

After a few seconds, a lighter clicked above you before a lit joint was waved in front of your face. Who were you to deny a kind gesture?

You stood up and took the joint from her fingers, bringing it to your lips and holding it before sighing the smoke out dramatically. The two of you stayed in those positions for a bit, just passing the joint back and forth.

“Why’d you leave?” She asked. You could hear her trying hard to make sure she wasn’t coming off as probing or aggressive.

You shrugged, “Wanted some air.”

She nodded and pushed off the wall. “Would you be up for a dance? We can stay out here.”

Finally meeting her eyes with a questioning look she raised her eyebrows in a smile and held out a freckled hand towards you. You bit back a smile when she started to wiggle her eyebrows. “I’d love to.” you let her take ahold of your hand as you brought your other to her shoulder.

As the songs changed over the two of you got closer and closer. Forgetting the idea of personal space. Your mood lifted as it always did when you were with Van. You leaned onto her as she threw her head back and pulled you flush against her body. The two of your bodies moved to the music, not in time but in feeling. You laughed as she spun you, returning the favor before once again ignoring the idea of personal space and clasping each other like you were afraid if you loosened your grip you’d wake up from whatever kind of dream this was.

The lights shining through the window turned to a faded blue from the bright gold, signaling the beginning of a slow song. Without needing to voice the action, Van slid her hand into yours and slowly hovered on your waist with the other. You smiled, and she gave you an odd melancholy look before signing and resting her forehead gently on yours. You shut your eyes and reached your free hand up to comb through her long red hair.

The dance inside ended but the two of you didn't stop swaying to music only you could hear. The air had begun to cool as time passed, giving you a reason to try and close the space even more between the two of you.

“Van?! (Y/N)?” You broke apart at Natalie’s yell for the two of you, she was probably looking for you to leave, Kevyn being all of your rides to the afterparty.

“Shit- I forgot we still have to go to that stupid fucking party.” Van groaned as she rolled her eyes.

“Hey, it’ll be a good time. Besides we just have to say hi and then we can leave.” You grabbed her hands and started to walk backward toward the school parking lot.

She gave you an unimpressed look but nevertheless, let you pull her along gently.

Natalie, Van, Kevyn, Lottie, Laura Lee, and you all tried to squeeze into his tiny four-person car.

“Where did you go? I was looking for you for like an hour?” Natalie asked Van, turning back from her spot on Lottie's lap in the front seat.

“You know, dances aren't my thing- just needed some fresh air.” Van shrugged, barely visible due to how you and Laura Lee were pushing into her sides.

“At least we managed to get you to come to this one. You missed Randy getting caught spiking the punch though.”

“Damn, that sounds therapeutic.”

“You should’ve seen his face. Looked like a ghost when Ms. Jackson grabbed his collar” Lottie laughed, joining the conversation. “Definitely made my night.”

Van hummed in agreement, being disengaged which wasn’t normal for her.

You nudged her shoulder but she just brushed you off for the rest of the ride.

The party was hosted by none other than Jackie at her huge ass mansion. Van had made a beeline start for the drinks in the kitchen when the car pulled to a stop. You had to practically chase her through the crowd of teens in the house.

When you caught up to her she was pouring about four shots of tequila into a cup with a splash of orange juice. Her jaw was clenched. Her whole demeanor had shifted. You placed your hand on top of hers holding the cup. “What's up? Do you want to leave?” She shook her head and avoided your eyes, glancing around the room. You sighed and she rolled her eyes before gesturing to the stairs leading upstairs.

Van led you upstairs where she knocked on every door, checking if any were unoccupied. Unsurprisingly it took a few tries.

The room y’all had found must have been one of the many guest rooms in the home. A huge bed was in the center of the room with dollhouse-like furniture around the walls.

She put her cup on a dresser before face-planting into the bed. You couldn't help the laugh that burst out of you, “Van! What’s wrong?”

You sat down on the foot of the bed as she rolled over to her back. She tilted her head down towards you before looking back to the ceiling and groaning. “It’s nothing. Like it's actually dumb and I’m just a total idiot.”

She tensed as you set your hand on her leg, “I’m sure it's not dumb. Just talk to me about it.”

She grumbled as she sat up and looked at you with the frown of an insolent child. “This is embarrassing and it may ruin everything.”

“Well Jesus, now you sound like you killed someone.”

She looked at you as if to tell you ‘Seriously?’. You nudged her to continue but she just ran her hands together and looked down.

“Van… You.. You know I love you right?” You said it as a way to try to open her up but it held the double meaning, or hope, that this is what she was talking about.

“That's the thing.” Your heart sank- could she tell how you felt? Had it upset her so much?

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable-”

“You shouldn’t be sorry! It’s my fault. I’m the one making you uncomfortable-”

“Wait-”

“I mean I’m the one that looked to far into things and-”

“Van-”

“It’s not your fault that-”

“Van!”

“-I am madly, madly, in love with you.”

“Oh my god!”

“I know- mhM!” You cut her off by literally throwing yourself onto her with so much force you landed on top of her, pinning her to the bed with your lips.

“Thank fuck this conversation was a misunderstanding because I have been into you for so long it’s been torture,” you whispered against her lips.

You could feel her smile and chuckle before telling you “I told you that I've liked you since you hit me with a rock at recess in 1st grade.”

“Fuck you.”

[kvhasproblems]

Bite The Hand - Van Palmer X Reader

Chapter 1

chapter 2, masterlist

Summery: This story is just going to follow the plot of yellowjackets with a reader insert. The first chapter takes place about a week before the crash.

Warnings: reader has like serious comphet and eternalized homophobia for the first bit of this, reader also has religious trauma and shity parents (who even has good parents in this show lmao), regular yellowjackets violence, this is also gonna be like the slowest of slow burns

A/N: I only played Timbit’s soccer when i was super young so please just ignore if any of the soccer stuff is wrong, I also have no idea when I will post chapter 2 of this because I’m moving out in 2 weeks so between packing and moving to live by myself I might not have a lot of time, but I’m planning to post this once I have half of the second chapter written.

Word count: 2300

Chapter 1

"Oooooo, right into my hands. Again." Van bragged with her crooked smile.

I found myself staring, even though I tried not to. Her gorgeous red hair and that perfect smile and- I need to focus. Coach has been on my ass all week about improving this specific goal-scoring technique, so I asked Van to meet 30 minutes before practice to work on it and warm up because, god forbid she doesn’t get her perfect warm-up in.

“Well, maybe if you stopped being so good, then I’d be able to score on you." I huff back.

"Your shoulders are a dead giveaway in your fake-out. You have to avoid twisting so much."

"I’d like to see you try," I say, my hands finding my hips with a grin on my face.

"I’d like to see you in goal; how about that?" She challenges back with that smile. Again, that smile that just makes my heart flutter deep in my chest no matter how much I try to ignore it, "Now try again; this time try to remain aligned and grounded before you make the kick."

I line up and go for it, watching as the ball sails through the air and nestles into the net right in the corner just before Van is able to reach it.

"YES!" A thrill of excitement shot through me once I realized I had made the shot. I rush to Van, and she opens her arms before I leap at her for a hug. Her arms wrap around me tightly, safe and warm. I can feel my heart racing in my chest as Van’s eyes find mine. Her eyes fall to my lips, and for a moment, Van is the only thing that exists in this world; all other concerns disappear. As my lips part in anticipation of a kiss, I start to lean in. But my mother's voice in the back of my head pulls me back to reality.

"Van… I can’t." I whisper while pulling out of her embrace. Instant hurt flashed deep across her face.

"Ok," she said, giving me a tight-lipped smile. "Let’s just keep practising," she said while looking like a wounded puppy.

"Van… we have to stop doing this; it’s wrong." I sighed. 

"We are just practising; I don’t see what the issue is," she deflected with a heavy sigh.

"You know what I’m talking about I can’t keep- "

"You can’t keep what? Acting like you feel the same and then bailing out and making me feel like I’m an idiot for liking you." She breathed out, exasperated.

"You don’t like me; girls like boys that’s just how it is."

She scoffed, throwing up her hands in berating surrender. "Wow… ok then."

"Don’t be like that." I protested.

"like what"

"All... I don’t know," you jester to her with your hands. "Angry with me!"

"I’m not angry-"

"Then why are you acting like this?"

"Me! Why am I acting like this?" She ran her hand down her face. "God Y/n, you kissed me at that party, and you just expect me to forget about it!"

"I already told you it was a mistake!" I rushed out with tears threatening to fill my eyes. The blow hit Van dead in the chest, and she physically had to take a step back. Regret flashes through me the moment I see her face.

A heavy silence filled the space between us as I struggled for something to say.

"Look I-"

"Save it" 

"No Van-"

"I said save it." She huffed while turning and beginning to walk off the pitch.

Van, you don’t get it," I called after her while following her to the changing rooms. "My parents would kill me."

"And you think my mom wouldn’t?" She whipped around to face you.

I took in a shaky breath.

"Look, forget I said anything. You were right; this was a mistake." Van snapped before storming off into the changing room.

I stood there, trying to process what just happened. Fat tears rolled down my face as I tried to get my bearings on my emotions. This is for the better. I’m not supposed to like girls like this. But I still couldn’t shake the deep ache in my chest.

I took a moment to collect myself before walking into the changing room. A deep shame was starting to bloom in my chest. From what, I wasn’t sure what it was—maybe it was hurting Van or disappointing my parents, or being hurt by the same comment I made. Maybe it was all of it.

As I entered, I heard Jackie laughing and talking loudly to Shauna, who was trying to braid her hair before she gave up and just put it in a ponytail. I took this as my moment to just sneak by. I don’t think I can deal with Jackie’s insane positivity right now.

"Oh hey, Y/n!" Jackie called 

Shit.

"Hey Jackie, Shauna." I answered. Shauna waved at me with a small smile before going back to getting ready.

"You’re here early," Jackie said.

"Um yeah, I and Van came to get some extra practice in; I was working on that scoring technique so you and coach could finally stop bugging me." I added an attempt at a laugh at the end, but my heart wasn’t in it, not that Jackie seemed to notice.

"Well, that’s great anyways-" I tune out the rest, nodding and smiling when I need to, as I apply some extra deodorant and make sure I’m ready for today's actual practice.

The other girls slowly trickled into the changing room. I keep sweeping the room with my eyes, expecting to see Van, but I can't find her anywhere. The guilt from earlier keeps eating at me, making me feel sick to my stomach. If regionals weren’t right around the corner, I might have feigned ill and gone home. Not that being home would make me feel any better.

"Y/n… Y/N!" Jackie practically yelled in my face. "Hello earth to Y/n"

"I- sorry." 

"I was just saying that if we win the regional match, we should rally the team and get ice cream or something. Anyway, practice time." Jackie patted me on the shoulder, like she was ushering me forward.

"HEY EVERYONE! Make your way to the pitch! This is our last practice before regionals, and I wanna see hard work, determination, and good technique today. Jackie preached before giving her classic smile and walking out.

I followed slightly sluggish, I still haven’t seen Van since we came inside.

Nat ran up, bumping my shoulder playfully with hers. "Hey, you see Van? Woah, you good? You look like-" 

"I'm fine, and no, I haven't." I push past her to make my way to the pitch.

"Ok then.." Nat rolled her eyes as I walked away.

"Yellowjackets! Come on, hurry up!" Coach Martinez clapped his hands loudly, trying to rush us along. Despite his protests, we gathered rather slowly around him. "Take a knee, so today we are going to be running drills and going through specific plays-" He continued to ramble on about the specifics of today's practice.

"Hey," Tai whispered to me. "Where’s Van?"

"God, why does everyone keep asking me that?" I mumbled back.

"I thought you guys came early to practice."

“We did but-”

"Hey, ladies! Knock it off; I want full focus!" Coach snapped at us before continuing his rambling.

Tai waited a moment before speaking again in a hushed voice, trying to avoid Coach’s attention.

"If you guys came early, then why isn’t she here?"

"I don’t know." I huffed, getting annoyed with this conversation.

"Did she tell you where she was going or-"

"No, Tai, she didn’t. I -" 

"LADIES! Last warning, or you’re going to be running 2 miles after practice today." Coach barked angrily, clearly done with being interrupted. He gave us a final warning glare before he continued his speech.

A few moments later, Van came out of the change room. We made brief eye contact, and she walked right past me to sit on the other side of the group, the farthest from where I was kneeling. Van always sits beside me and Tai. The worried and speculative eyes of our team members had silent conversations, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Palmer, nice of you to show up!" Coach joked, clearly not amused. "Laura Lee, catch Van up! Let’s start with warm-up laps! Everyone up!" 

I stand up, and quiet chatter begins amongst the group. As we walk to the edge of the pitch, they group off and talk in hushed voices while looking back at Van and I. I try to ignore them even though it feels like I can feel their stares digging into me, tearing me apart, and discovering all my secrets. I just start running to hopefully avoid thinking about it so much. I almost ran up to Van to talk to her about it before I remembered what got me into this situation in the first place. I just continue my laps.

"Sooo, you gonna tell me what’s going on?" Nat jogged up beside me. "And don’t say nothing because I think that was the most awkward thing I’ve ever seen in my life."

"We just… had a disagreement, that’s all."

"A disagreement? Really?" She looked at me, her stare feeling like it was picking me apart, so I focus on the field in front of me.

"Must have been one hell of a disagreement."

"Just leave it, Nat." I huff back.

"Alright alright."

I push my pace so I wouldn’t have to run beside her. I hate all these questions, I hate feeling guilty, and most of all, I hate that Van won’t talk to me. The laps seemed to take an almost unbearable amount of time; I forgot how boring warm-up laps are without Van trying to make me laugh. I find myself missing more than ever how she looks at me like I’m the only thing that matters in the whole world and how she gets so distracted by what I’m saying that she even crashed into Allie that one time. I allow myself the luxury of daydreaming while I run, even though my stomach churns slightly at the thought of what my mom would do if she knew what I was thinking.

Our next section of warmup is strength training before stretching. Coach had us participate in a totally “wonderful” array of exercises.

"Ok, final conditioning exercise for today: partner sit-ups! Find a partner! Quickly," Coach barked. I scanned the team for my go-to partner just to see her pair up with Tai. My heart sinks in my chest.

"Hey, Y/n partner with me?" Lottie spoke softly with a kind, knowing smile.

"Of course, wanna go first?" I ask, returning a sort of smile.

"Sure." Lottie got ready to do the sit-ups while I held her feet on the ground. She completed her first set before speaking.

"So do you wanna talk about it?"

"I’m not sure there’s much to talk about."

"I’m not sure I believe you…" she protested. I sighed in response. "But if you change your mind, you can come over later; we can make cookies."

"Cookies sound good, plus I have nothing else to do after practice; my parents have some fancy gala to attend to impress some investors," I said, rolling my eyes. Lottie and I met a year before we ended up at the same school together at one of those fancy galas. Neither of our parents seemed to care what we were doing as long as we were well-behaved. Ever since then, we have become friends, spending time together to make up for the fact that no one is ever really around at home.

After we stretched, we moved on to drills before Coach said, "Ok, kids, scrimmage time. Misty will split you into groups."

"Coach… We should say a prayer." Laura Lee suggests acting almost surprised that Coach didn’t suggest it himself.

He just gruffed out an ok and let Laura Lee take the lead.

"Lord," she prayed, clasping her hands together. "To you, we pray; we come asking for your guidance during our practice. Please lend us your strength and courage to make right in your eyes. Amen."

 "Amen," the group echoed.

'Make right in your eyes.’ The words bounced around my skull like a ping pong ball as I take my place as Left Back. What was right in God’s eyes? Was it following my parents beliefs, being the perfect student, the perfect soccer player, the perfect girl who marries the perfect boy and has perfect children with a perfect house?

Coach’s whistle rang loud, and the scrimmage started. I jumped into action, despite my spiralling thoughts. I threw myself headfirst into the game. If soccer was good for one thing, it was making my brain feel quiet. It was the one place where I could just be myself.

This scrimmage was played with small teams so despite having Left Back as my usual assigned position, this play required me to play more forward was as my usual assigned position, Tai yelled to Allie, signalling her intentions to pass I knew this was my chance. As Tai made the pass, I scooped the ball from Allie's right, knowing that’s her weak side. Tai’s angry yells were faint as I sprinted up the field on a breakaway. Now was my chance. I lined myself up square and grounded myself before slamming the ball into the right corner of the net. Right passed Van. 

I did it!

I fucking did it!

The wide smile on my face matched Van’s in celebration before the rush of how our "disagreement" started in the first place came to the forefront of her mind. I saw her smile fall before Coach’s calls drew me back towards the other side of the field. I turned back briefly to see a look on Van’s face I couldn’t quite decipher. 

[madmaxified]

𓃹 YELLOWJACKETS MASTERLIST

i will write for : teen timeline only ( post and pre crash ), natalie, jackie, van, lottie, melissa, laura lee

jackie taylor . . . ( nothing yet )

natalie scatorccio . . . ( nothing yet )

lottie matthews . . . ( nothing yet )

vanessa palmer . . . ( nothing yet )

laura lee . . . ( nothing yet )

melissa . . . ( nothing yet )

[nightendale]

Living dead girl | yellow jackets Van Palmer x reader

For this request.

Fem!reader x van Palmer (96’)

Notes: I wasn’t really sure how to make a point that this reader was femme cause I personally think van and Taissa are quite feminine already but I hope you like it :)))

-

You sit on the thin bed left in the cabin by its previous owner staring into your half broken half still usable applying the last finishing touches to your make up. you’re getting ready for doom coming, a event hosted by your fellow teammates to make light of your situation.

You were all supposed to be at nationals right now, winning, having fun and partying but instead fate had other plans for the Yellowjackets girls soccer team and while on the way the plane crashed, stranding your team, coach and two boys out in the woods.

You finish the last of the make up and look at yourself, wishing you were anywhere but here, you sigh and get up to head to the party.

While walking through the cabin to the front door you notice a blob of a person out of the corner of your eye, van, you take proper notice turning your head to look at the other girl.

Van, she was lovely, a fiery red haired girl with a personality you couldn’t help but fall in love with, van was everything to you, she’d had your back through out every game with the soccer team and now everything in the wilderness.

Van eventually looks up at you, most likely feeling your gaze. You smile softly at her and walk over plopping yourself down next to her.

“Hey van ban” you smile grabbing her hand playing with it.

The redhead doesn’t say anything back to you, opting to give you a small nod in response.

You let out a small sigh under your breathe knowing what was going on, van had recently been attacked by a pack of wolves, the redhead nearly lost her life but instead was just left with a few big cuts through her face.

Ever since this attack though you had notice vans sudden seclusion, she would look away from anyone that even slightly looked near her. The girl would never fully admit it to you but you knew she was feeling insecure.

You stand up now extending a hand out to the other girl who’s still sitting, “come on let’s get you ready for doom coming.” You smile.

“I’m not going.” Van mumbles looking away from you and at the ground instead.

“Why not? It’ll be fun?” You try to persuade still extending your hand.

Van pushes your hand away and looks up at you “I’m not going when I look like this.” She says with a hint of finality and anguish in her tone.

You pull your hand back, the push feeling like a sting of a burn. You stand up straighter and look head on at van, “fine,” you say shaking your head slightly “if you won’t believe your beautiful van, then I’m going to have to just make you feel beautiful.”

You turn around before you get a response and walk back to the cabins one bedroom area, entering the room you grab your makeup bag, the tiny mirror that had a million cracks through it but was still holding up and a brush one of the girls had packed and make your way back over to van.

When you get back to van you sit yourself down in front of her, her eyes slightly widening when she sees the items you’ve brought.

Careful and calm, you slightly hold the underneath of vans chin and grab your blush brush and start applying, van sitting slightly letting you do as you please.

After a matter of minutes you’re done doing the make up, you lean in and kiss her lipstick stained lips and when you pull back grab ahold of the miniature mirror.

You hold up the mirror up to the other girl so she can see what she looks like, she stares for awhile and then grabs the mirror of you staring at herself closer. You stay quite letting her have this moment with herself.

She finally puts the mirror down, “thank you (y/n)” she whispers, leaning in to kiss you.

You kiss back smiling against each others lips, when you both pull back you rest your forehead on hers “come on we have a doomcoming to attend.”

And for the first time since the crash you can see her spark come back.

[camillecrellin]

— Yellowjackets Masterlist

Who I write for: Nat, Van, Tai, Misty, Jackie, Travis, Akliah.

NATALIE SCATORCCIO

n/a

VANESSA PALMER

n/a

TAISSA TURNER

n/a

MISTY QUIGLEY

Misty pining headcanons

JACKIE TAYLOR

n/a

TRAVIS MARTINEZ

n/a

AKLIAH

n/a

[happysparklingshadows]

A Certain Hunger (3/?)

Chapter 2 ✿ Chapter 4

Summary: Everyone is trying their best out in the woods, and it’s paying off with finding the lake and then finding an old cabin. The only problem is that every step you take you are reminded how dire the situation with the sense of dread a mummy in the attic gives. 

Pairing: Surviving!Poly! Yellowjackets x reader (slow burn)

Warnings: Description of Death and Suicide, internalized homophobia, General emotional distress, and getting kissed while your eyes are closed.

Taglist: @g1rlsriot @zhivaxo @icabrth @h-doodles @somethingred7 @mika-kc @frasersgf @yaakooi @vstblrblog @jax1118 @oakwave @mmiah @dvrkhcld @wandasmainho @thewinterlunarhalo @vstblrblog @bbbexee

Word count: 14.3

‘96

The forest air was crisp and fresh as twigs snapping under your weight-birds' chirping in the trees above. It was very peaceful in an odd way for you. You have only been out in the woods for three days now, and although you were anxious about when the rescue team would find you the entire time, the environment was overwhelmingly beautiful and familiar. It's just a North American Forest with all the usual creatures like back home in New Jersey. All the lush green and brown overcome your senses with the natural odor of the wild it was comforting and made you think of your dad. It felt like you were with him somehow as you and Taissa walked through the brush to find a water source early in the morning. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, letting it out. 

“Doing yoga over there?” Taissa teased as she walked beside you on the unbeaten path of the forest ahead of you. A breeze hits you both in the direction you are walking.

You chuckle and shake your head to her, “No, I am just taking in the smell. The deep forest has a smell to it. It has like this rich dirt and plant smell.”

Taissa scoffs and shakes her head at your words, and she doesn’t understand why you are so calm about the woods. Tai was trying her best not to freak out about the fact she was currently trapped in the wilderness, and she just looked over to you and saw you just calmly walking in the greenery. “I never saw you as an outdoorsy kind of girl.”

“I’m not.” You say, very tired of the topic with the other girls. “You know me, and I am more into Journalism.”

“Yeah,” Taissa says as she looks over at you, pointing a finger, she remembers as she says, “Aren’t you going to NYU for journalism?”

You chuckle and look to your feet, seeing a familiar vine slowing your walking. “Yeah, I mean, go into where your good. I think I am pretty good at journalism.”

“Wanna be like Jay Lenno?” Taissa asked as she followed your movements, her eyes scanning around to see why you slowed down. “What?”

You point to the ground, and you crouch down to the vine. You follow the vine a few inches, and white berries with black that hang gently from a black vine. “Tai, Look," You urge with a wave of your hand to Tai. Taissa looks over your shoulder as you explain, "These are Rabit food berries, at least that is what my dad calls them, and are poisonous but can be used for bail for anything.” You say as you start to pick off the white berries. “Good news is that they normally grow around water. So, hopefully, we are close.”

“Oh, foesue,” Taissa says as she leans down and looks at the berry. She takes one in her hand and investigates the little thing. “These are called Rabbit food?”

“Not formally. But that is what my dad calls them.”

“You’re dad knows a lot about this stuff.”

You forced a smile and nodded; you didn't want to talk about your dad. 

As you stand up, a sharp pain shoots through your neck, and it causes you to yelp, "Ow!".

"You okay?" Taissa asked with her eyebrows furrowed in concern. You still have black eyes from the crash, and you still look like you took a beating. 

"It's okay. It's just my neck is still sore. Please don't worry about it." You sigh as you put the white berries in the bandana Natalie gave you that first night. Taissa and you both walk forward toward the breeze with more confidence that you will find water.

You and Tai had a somewhat complicated relationship. Tai was second to become valedictorian, and you always seemed competitive. Tai would ask you what you got on tests and essays, comparing the results to see how to spark more rivalry. There wasn’t much there, to begin with. Still, fighting with someone with your wit was fun because there would be no other competition if it were about physical ability. Taissa never took things too far with how you two fought for the top spot. Tai bit her tongue when it was called over the intercom two weeks earlier that you were the one giving the speech at graduation. Taissa wanted to break her pencil because she had worked so hard and never got to be better than you, but she always knew you were a worthy opponent. Taissa was your friend like the other senior yellowjackets. Still, your relationship was more superficial with her than with Shauna or even Misty Quigley. There was an air of performance and a level of standoffishness.

“Congratulations on the Valedictorian spot again,” Taissa says softly to you. You were always so pretty to her.

“Thank you, Tai!” you said happily. You were very proud of yourself for that, and you look over to her and say, “I guess it’s pretty good that we both are here to make sure everyone’s head screwed on right.”

Taissa chuckles at your joke as the both of you see the lake off on the horizon on the hill. It looked like someone would have to go down the hillside, and a few miles past a little more forest, you would get to the shore. Taissa doesn’t say anything before she runs ahead of you, closer to the hill's edge.

You sigh as your feet beg you to stop moving and lie down. You needed to keep moving, and you needed to make sure everyone was okay. You had reminded yourself of everything your father said in passing on your many trips, and you knew a big one was water and then shelter on the list. The last couple of days has made you more adventurous than you ever like to be, as you had to do something as the anxiety was eating you alive. You speedwalk behind the very fast Tai, who stopped at the treeline that dropped off into a beach.

“If it weren’t so deep in these woods, it would be a private beach,” you thought as you panted behind Taissa. The air was sweet and relaxed with the breeze of the tide, and it didn’t stop the drop of sweat that rolled down your neck.

“Fucking finally,” You sigh out with a groan. You look around the water and see lily pads a little ways off, and on the side are rocks that a small turtle rests on. The lake looks promising and has everything that the group needs right now.

Taissa doesn’t show much emotion toward the water; more of a confirmation of its existence. She turns back and pulls your arm to walk the other 6 miles back to the plane. You while as you follow behind her, she says, “We have to tell the others and move camp there.”

You felt yourself pause a little bit at the way she said that. It sounded like a demand, and injured people couldn’t travel this distance without the whole team working together. There was a confirmed 15 people alive from the plane crash, luckily, all your friends survived with some injuries, but 4 of them were working with painful wounds. Ashely, a sophomore, was burned so badly on her face that her cheek is producing puss now; Misty is sure it is third-degree. Ashely has been in and out of pain and can’t walk even though she is fully intact, and couch Ben is working with one less leg.

“Tai, I don’t think we should move so quickly.” You say as you walk behind her, both determined to meet the others.

Tai scoffs and looks over her shoulder with a narrowed eye, “Why’s that? We’re running out of food and water by the hour.”

“Yes, but people aren’t going to do it so quickly. We have to think about the injured-”

“We’ll carry them, and we can’t stay put, (y/n).”

You roll your eyes as you say a little more transparently, “Tai, you are not going to make people want to move with that approach.” she stops herself to look at you. She is annoyed, and you can sense that you sigh and explain, “People are still in shock, okay? A fucking Plane crash happened, and no one has fucking found the box. Everyone is emotional about it still, and we cannot come at them like it’s a demand. Everything is different now, and we all need some time.”

“Then, they can stay there until rescue gets here.” She stood firm. She put her hands on her hips as she looked at you with a tilted head.

You feel yourself get even more frustrated, and you start to say with a sterner voice, “We’re not leaving anyone behind. We are leaving altogether or staying together, Tai; there is no other way it will work.”

“Okay, what do you think we should do if you think my idea is bullshit.”

“I don’t think your idea is bullshit, but it is insensitive to the people who just fucking lost everything.” You whisper yell to her, not even wanting the chance that someone could hear your argument from the camp. “The guys lost their dad, and we all lost someone we knew in the crash, Tai. People are emotional, and people are scared. We have to be united when we tell them about the water. We introduce it gently and let them all decide when to go.” Tai grew quiet as she looked at you, watching you continue. ”I think we should hold a vote on when we should go because you are right,” You nod to her, and Tai seems slightly taken back that you would tell her, “I think we should move to the lake.”

“Then what do we do?”

“We need to bury the bodies.” You remind as you walk up a slight incline in the path. “We can leave after we bury them or tomorrow morning. It’s not a question that we are going.”

“So, the ones that want to stay have to move with us.” Taissa agreed with a slight nod of her head. She then says as if it was a little painful. “You’re right.”

“Okay, So we will do that.” You diplomatically ask her again for confirmation before you start planning your morning announcements to the team. “We have food and water now; We need to build a shelter of some kind.”

“You think we will be here that long to need it?”

“No, I hope we won’t.” You say back, your voice trying to stay positive. “But what if a storm comes by? We’re not in a good place for that, even with the plane, which I don’t think I would even want to step in again.”

“Agreed… But how do we build a shelter? We'll make a teepee or something?”

“I am thinking like dig out and skinny fallen tree logs because this place is covered with them. And figure it out together because I don’t know everything.”

Taissa chuckle and shakes her head. She sarcastically says, “I don’t think that is true.”

“Trust me, I don’t.” You chuckle back and continue your way back to camp.

After walking for another 30ish minutes on your aching feet, you finally reach the group. Excited and happy to finally have some good news for them.

Van, Laura Lee, Travis, and Natalie have been working for a few days on digging pits. Today they were digging the last ones, trying to give their friends and even the people they didn’t know a “right” burial, as Laura Lee had Insisted we give them. A few days earlier, She came to the group while you were giving a morning announcement and said that anyone that is “abled body needs to help because this is the right thing to do. God would want us to do it, and I think even they would want us to do that.”.

And you did. How could you tell Laura Lee she was wrong?

You're panting as you stop walking and lean against a tree by the primary fire. The other girls work on their little things, discuss what they plan for the summer, and other helping others feel better with their wounds. Another pain shoots through your neck again as you turn it too quickly to the left to look around. You calm your breathing from your long hike and feel yourself have enough air to be okay again.

“Okay, let’s eat before I start talking.” You announce to the team as you pull out the ration box, and Van follows behind you, kneeling down to take inventory.

“This is all we have?” Jackie asks.

“Yeah,” Van says.

“We just have to ration. We split everything in half and eat until we don’t feel hungry. Let’s cut them up.” You say, reassuring everyone. You smile and say, “These are really calorie dense, so we will be okay."

Van comes closer to Shauna and shows her how to cut the rations. Shauna is listening to this very intently, and she starts to cut. You hand the water bottle to Akilah and say, “Split the water up evenly."

Shauna says to Jackie beside you, “Close your eyes and pretend it’s bacon.”

Jackie eats it; happily, she always was a food person. You remember when you were in middle school, and her mother passed out from too much Xanax, so Jackie cooked a late-night dinner that would make her mom go crazy to see her eating more than an almond before bed. Jackie made pizza out of dough in the fridge and stuff lying around, and to this day, you think it was the best pizza you ever had. You chuckle as you eat your share of the Mary cakes.

“I am more of a pancakes and syrup girl.” Jackie jokes as she finishes her breakfast of a Mary Cake. You chuckle and nod, “I am feeling pancakes too, Jackie. Shauna is just a carnivore.” You joke.

Shauna purses her lip and holds in a laugh at the joke, shaking her head. Jackie laughed and nodded, “You remember when Shauna ate that burger the size of your head?”

You all laugh at the joke, and you nod your head. You feel your first moment of ease. You didn’t feel pain in your neck and in your heart. Shauna laughed this time and covered her mouth, “Oh my god, it was like she unhinged her jaw!” You reminisce and laugh.

Jackie starts to scratch her thigh again, and both you and Shauna give her a look.

“Hey, Misty said, don’t scratch. It can get infected.”

“If poison Ivy’s what kills me out here, then I deserve to die.” Jackie joked. You pushed her arm and gave her another look.

“Hey, no pessimism. You’re too tough to die from poison Ivy… But please don’t go to the bathroom before you wash your hands.” You warned lightly with a chuckle.

“What will happen if I go to the bathroom, (Y/n)?”

“You will get it on your pussy girl.” You say curtly because you didn’t want to sugarcoat poison ivy on your vagina. “It would be excruciating.”

“Would you know?”

“No, I am not stupid, though.” You chuckle and smile at her. You take a drink of your water and eat some berries. Unaware behind you that Travis was stealing more than his share.

“Hey!” Akilah says to him as he walks over to her and steals a whole Mary cake.

“What are you doing?” Van asks.

“Uh, maybe you didn’t notice, but we’re in a situation here, Flex.” Lottie insults as Travis walks off with a whole Mary Cake instead of a half one. 

“Don’t,” Natalie warns sharply.

Travis turns back and glares at all of us.

“Who died and made him king of snacks?” Lottie whispers to the group.

“His dad, Lottie. His fucking dad.”

“Nat’s right. We should cut him some slack.” Jackie remarked to the group.

“I guess it’s fine if we all starve to death as long as Travis’s feelings are okay.” Mari sassed. 

“We’re not gonna starve to death. Okay? When the rescue team gets here-”

“IF it gets here.” Van cuts in on Jackie to make her point of pessimism.

“Okay, we’re not going say that.” You sharply say to Van. She looks up at you, surprised you spoke up at the moment. You shared a look of her telling you that you can’t say that, and you continued to speak. “We’re not going to kill the hope around here, okay? We must be there for each other right now, but we must be smart. Travis will not do that again because we need to ration. You’re right, Mari. But look around, you guys,” You stop to put your arms out like your dad once did when you were young. Everyone looks around like you said, “It’s summer in a fertile forest. We’ll be okay. We just need to be smart.”

You say as you put your backpack on your shoulders and look at the others. You stand up and say, “We’re all we have right now. We all survived a plane crash. We’re all on edge and emotional. We all must acknowledge that and try not to take things personally until the rescuers come, okay? Because I am a fucking wreck right now, and I know you all are too. We can do nothing but work together and be there for each other. Let’s try our best and be nice to each other now because if anyone will ever understand what we are going through is except each other.”

“Okay, Let’s do it,” Jackie says as she looks up to you with a smile. The others agreed with some groans and complaints, but they agreed.

“Okay, everyone, on another subject, Me and Taissa found a lake when we went out this morning. We saw it over the hill and thought we knew how to get to it from there. It looks about four or five miles away.”

“Do you think we can hike it, (Y/n)?” Shauna asks skeptically.

“Yes, We need to help Coach Ben and take turns carrying him, but we can make it. It’s a little rocky and goes uphill a few times, but yeah.” You say with a smile and look around the team. All seem ready to move and get some distance from the plane; however, Jackie is seemingly fighting with herself about how she will speak. “But, I want to leave it to the team to decide when we should go. We need to go to the water, but should we go after the burial or tomorrow morning?”

“Uh, we, uh, we can’t-we can’t just leave,” Jackie spoke as she awkwardly rose from her spot. She is hesitant.

“Jackie, I know it is scary. But we only have two days of water and don’t have enough food to go around. If it takes them a while to find us, they'll look for the closest body of water for us.”

“But what if the rescue team comes?”

“We’ll leave an SOS on the plane saying we are at the lake and make an SOS on the lake to let them know we are here.” You said before Taissa was going to speak. You didn’t want to kill hope; you didn’t want to kill your own, you just kept it together like you know how.

“What do you think, Coach?” Laura Lee asked him. You follow her voice to him, and you see Misty beside him.

“I don’t-I don’t know,” He says, “I mean, you’d have to leave me behind, I guess, but whatever-”

“That is ridiculous. That is never going to happen.” You shut him down and continued on to your point. “We will build a stretcher out of what we have lying around. Misty took a first-aid class, and they have shown you how to do it, right?”

Misty’s eyes widened that you were speaking to her in the circle like she was important. She smiled shyly and, slightly embarrassed, said, “Kinda-”

“Then we will make one and take turns-”

Jackie laughs in disbelief that we are still talking about leaving. “No. This-This is bullshit. No. No way.”

“Okay, fine. All in favor of waiting here until we don’t have any water?” You say, still twisting it to go to the lake. No one but Jackie raises their hand, she looks over to Shauna, and she doesn’t still. Jackie lost control of you, and now Shauna. She looks around, and no one does. Eventually, Mari and Laura Lee raise their hands.

“All in favor of going to the lake?” You say you raise your hand as Taissa beside you does as well. Everyone else raises their hand.

You nod your head and say as Jackie quiets herself in anger. “Alright, we’re going to the lake. All in favor of leaving tomorrow.”

Jackie, Laura Lee, Mari, Coach Ben, and Misty raise their hands.

“All in favor of leaving after the burial?”

Everyone else raises their hand. You nod again. “Alright, we are leaving after the burial. The vote is in. Let’s pack up our things, eat before we leave, get anything we can, and we will all help Misty with the stretcher. Okay?”

Everyone says “Yes,” “Sure,” and nods. Everyone leaves to do their jobs as Jackie seems to sulk away, and Shauna, knowing she angered Jackie, goes off to help Misty.

You look over to Jackie, who is sulking and feel really bad. It felt like a pit was growing just a little more in your stomach.

“Jackie-”

“Leave me alone.”

“I’m not like that, Jackie, you know that,” you say as you sit beside her. She is having a hard time right now, and you know she is more anxious than anything. You always knew how to talk to Jackie. “I’m sorry that we have to leave the plane.”

“I don’t think we should go. What if they get here and we’re not here?”

“Well, We’ll make a sign on the plane that we’re at the lake, and then we can make a sign at the lake. If anything, they could see the shore of a lake more than in these dense woods.” You say and look up to the leaves, it’s tough to see the sky, and even with the trees that cleared for the plane, the sky was not clear. Just the ribbons of light that sneaked in between the leaves. “Look up.”

Jackie looks up and looks at the trees. “A rescue plane or helicopter would have difficulty seeing the crash because it would look like a natural opening instead of a crash landing. But if there is a big opening and three signs, we were here. They will know we are here, you know.” You reassure.

Jackie nods but still looks conflicted. She itches her under the thigh and just sighs, “Fine. Whatever.”

“It sucks, I know…” You say as you look at her hand travel to her thigh. You then say, “Do you have anything for that? Do you want me to take a look to see what it is-”

“No, It’s fine.” Jackie declared and looked at you pointedly with her big eyes.

“Okay…” You say, but you move to your bag next to her, pull out your bottle of lotion and put it at her feet. You get up and move to see what you can do before the burial.

Jackie sighed as she took your lotion and put it on her thigh, it was Eczema cream, and it soothed the poison ivy on the back of her knee and thigh. She sighed in relief and felt more at ease with her childhood friend, “Still in the trio.” Jackie thought as she reluctantly spread the moisturizer on her rash.

Van, Misty, and you finish placing the last pile of dirt on the dead. Your hands felt like everything you touched was a dream. Almost everything was surreal. Even the greens around you seemed alien right now, and you didn’t have the will to speak. “Not now, not right now.” You remind yourself as you pat the dirt on Coach Ben’s leg. Tears fell mindlessly down your cheeks. You didn’t have the strength to hold back your tears, wordlessly putting the makeshift shovel onto the ground and standing next to Shauna and Jackie.

“Before we took off, I heard Reachel say she would see Oasis at the meadowlands next month. She was really excited… And she is never gonna hear “Wonderwall” again.” Van spoke when we all stood around the homemade gravestones made from scrap metal.

“Come on.” Laura Lee gently urged everyone. “Let’s join hands. We’ll pray for them. ”

You grab onto Shauna’s hand, feeling the soft skin of her palm and fingers as you squeeze her for comfort as she does the same. A familiar ritual of you ever since you two were children, holding and comforting. You hold Jackie’s clammy delicate hand, she squeezes your hand, and you squeeze back. Holding the hands of the girls you played with in the sandbox when you were just a little girl felt more reassuring than you thought. Seeing your closest friends were safe and holding hands together made you feel so much relief. Knowing that so many people, 23, have died in a crash that should have killed you all sobered your happiness.

“Rachel, you just moved up from JV, so we didn’t know you. But, in Trig, you never confuse your secants and your cosecants. You seemed really smart. Anyone else?”

“I saw her carry a flute case once,” Van blurted out.

“She wore Revlon Goldpearl Plum. She let me borrow it at Homecoming last year.” You added as fat tears rolled down your plumb cheeks.

“Oh, Lord, please accept Reachel Goldman into your arms so she may fill your kingdom with music.” Laura Lee said with closed eyes, and yu felt your heartbreak at those words. Rachel’s family probably would have agreed with Laura Lee and would have been happy to know people cared for her enough to give her a respectful burial. Still, they didn’t know she had died. They’re probably hoping she is alive, thinking that somehow like you, she was standing fine, just needing to be found, but it would never happen. You felt a sob nest in your chest. “Please accept Coach Martinez into your glory, too—and flight attendant Janet, Pilot Robert, and Pilot Fred. And the people we didn’t know the names of, please allow them everlasting peace. Even though I walk through the Valley of the shadow of death, take them into your kingdom, Father. Reunite them in your love. Amen.”

Everyone prayed, “Amen.”

Taissa left the circle alone, and everyone started packing for the journey to the lake.

‘21

Shauna Jeff is cheating on me, and he is telling me anything. Just keeps saying that he is staying back for the data inventory.  You Okay  You  Wow You  You need to get proof. I would follow him and see what is up. And if he is, then you get even girl.  Shauna You read my mind lol  Shauna By the way, Callie wants to know what you think of her Instagram post. Shauna I don’t really know what she is talking about? You Girl, she looked great. I didn’t comment on it like I normally do lol! Tell her I think she looks gorgeous in purple!  Shauna What did she post? You A coffee shop pic with her boyfriend. She was wearing a little purple sundress!!!  You  Very pretty!! 💕🫶✨ You Go on Instagram and like it for her Shauna Girl what You You are too attached to Facebook  Shauna  Don’t tell me what I am  You  Shauna, you need to use other social media to see all your cute daughter's pictures and stalk her location. Shauna You can do that??? You Fuck yeah, why do you think I have a fucking Instagram lol Shauna Does Jeff have one?  You  It looks like you got a lead Shipmen Xxx

“(Y/n), your quiet back there? How is your dating life going?”

Natalie scoffed and looked over to Misty in the passenger seat. You sat behind Natalie in the car with your attention on your phone. You used yourself as a buffer for Misty to talk to and for Natalie to speak when she wanted to, but it seemed very noticeable when you silenced yourself.

“Um… Happily single right now and longtime committed to my purple rabbit.” You joke to Misty as you put your phone in your purse.

Natalie chuckled at your comment, and Misty seemed unhappy with how vulgar you were.

“Seriously, you haven’t been out dating anyone? You look amazing for your age.” Misty reassured you that it was why you were not looking out there. Acting like she didn’t know why you were so closed off from ever having to learn another person intimately again and why you would naturally be turned off from it.

“I know I do. My tits still sit on the top of my chest, just sometimes when I sit down, they hit my stomach.” You joke again about age with the two other women. Both laughing at the truth of the comment, Misty snorts a little and fixes her classes. “Tell me about it!” Misty laughed.

“How long till, uh, we get to Travis’s?” Natalie cut in and asks, clearly not enjoying her time in the car with either of you.

"Uh, Three hours and 24 minutes,” Misty reports, and Natalie sighs deeply at the answer. “I-I totally get it. You know, not dating anyone right now. At our age, it’s like all the available ones are crumbs at the bottom of a chip bag.” Misty chuckles. Misty looks down at her phone and says a soft, “Oh. Mostly.”

Natalie scoffs as Misty texts the other person on the phone, “Got a whole chip?”

You chuckle at that, and you see her eyes looking in the review mirror at you. Your eyes meet for a second.

“Just a friend. For now.” Misty chuckles, then laughs softly as she texts the other person at the end.

You looked out the window as you watched the trees passing you by, not hearing any more of the conversation that had lulled now. You felt happy that Misty found someone. But you wanted to cut the person's throat on the other end. Would they hurt Misty? Make Fun of her? The thought of Misty getting used or taken advantage of makes you feel a part of you digress and growl. Something primal and not right, but you can’t stop how familiar it all feels and how safe you are in Its presence.

Natalie drives to a gas station before you can cut yourself out of your thoughts. You remain quiet as your phone vibrates with more texts from Shauna. You couldn’t muster the will to look down at them right now.

“I’m starving,” Natalie says as she takes the keys out of the car. “You want to go grab something while I gas up?” Natalie asked. Her voice gave off the edge and some kind of motive behind them. And Misty was too smart not to catch that.

“Oh!” Misty says and fixes her glasses, “Well, I don’t know what you like. Maybe you should come with me,” She smoothly lied.

You slightly smirk because you knew from reading the room that Misty was scared that you and Natalie would ditch her.

“Chocolate’s good.” Natalie bluntly stated. It didn’t ease the tension.

“Um. well, there’s dark and milk and white.” Misty listed

“Surprise me.” Natalie smoothly stated as she looked Misty down a little. Her black-lined eyes give her a sharper tilt to her gaze. She looked like she could take a bite right out of you.

“Okay,” Misty said very fakely. It caused you to chuckle and grab the back of the headrest of her seat. You lean forward and touch her shoulder.

“I’d like some spicy peanuts and maybe something salty.”

Misty grimaces as she looks at you with a pointed look, “Spicy food? We have another 6 hours on the road there and back. Let alone the time we will spend seeing Travis!” Misty countered you.

You raise an eyebrow and say, “That was very rotten of you to say that.”

“That was not rotten to say that- you know what! I will get you something good.” Misty says as she exits the car, looking cautiously at Natalie again.

Natalie scoffs as she sees Misty walk away, and she immediately starts looking into the glove box of the minivan.

“Okay.” Natalie mocks as she starts to look around the car as Misty walks into the station

“What did she do?” You chuckle humorlessly as you lean against the leather seat.

Natalie doesn’t speak to you as she looks in the front and into the glove box. She pulled out a car plug that had the words Porsche on them.

“Fucking knew it.” She whispers to herself and throws it back. She looks at you and says, “She fucking took my spark plug.”

‘What?!” You say as you lean back up forward.

“Misty can’t be trusted… That little snake.” Natalie sighs to you as she turns to look at you.

“When has anyone trusted that Misty Quigley wouldn’t do something crazy for attention.” You lamented with her; you took a deep breath and told her in the sense of trust between you two. “You should have known better than letting her think you want her back in some way.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did. And because you did, I did. So here we are.”

“I didn’t need you to come to save me. Just back off. I am here to check on Travis, and you can go back to your fucking cave.”

“You shouldn’t have let on you were looking for him, you gave Misty enough to follow you, and you should know better. We all know your dirt, and we all know you, whether you like it or not. You are a fucking bomb waiting to go off, and you have been running away for a long time.” You hiss at her and look at her sharply in the eyes. Her baby blue eyes stare back at yours. An old familiar primal surge comes over you as you feel like you have been in this moment before. 

“Well, I don’t need any fucking help, and I don’t need you telling me about Misty Fucking Quigley.” Natalie spat at you as she left the car with a slam of the door.

You sat in the car with pursed lips. You didn’t like the energy that was in the car anymore. You didn’t know why you had an outburst like that with her. But how fucking dare she talk to you like that. You have been kind to her, and she has been an asshole to you all day; you have had it.

Misty returns to the car with a grocery bag and jerky in the other. Misty chats with Natalie outside the car before she comes into the car with a snarl.

“Someone is in a bad mood.”

“A fucking horrible mood.”

“Do you need to curse so much?”

“What did you get me, baby cakes?” You changed the subject as you looked over her shoulder. She hands you two bags and an icy bottle of water. It is honey-roasted peanuts and Chipotle Jerky. You smile because at least she got you something spicy, and a craving was honored; she was very kind in her odd way.

“Aw, Misty, this is perfect, thank you. You’re right. I would have had a stomach ache if I ate all the spicy nuts.”

“I know.”

“Shh. Silence.”

Misty chuckles as she takes another bite of her jerky. You rip open your bag and greedily take the spiced meat to pieces into your hand. You sink your teeth into the dried beef as the strains separate in your mouth, with each muscle strain salted and flavorful. It was sweetly smoked by some kind of wood as the cayenne and chili danced on your tongue. It was similar to a Mexican taco you had in upstate New York that wasn’t that authentic but something that made you come back for more. You moan as you relish in the guilty pleasure of still loving a good piece of jerky even after everything that happened. Sometimes your thoughts haunt you. “What if I liked it?” you thought sometimes as you chewed down on the juicy meat that reminded you of them.

“Misty, try some.”

“I don’t like spicy food, honey.” Misty’s voice was plain with reticence as she took the meat from your fingers.

“Try it, please, Misty.” You say a little sweeter, and you eat another yourself.

Misty takes the piece into her mouth as Natalie enters the car; she sided eyes both of you as she says, “Jerky, really?”

“Yeah, it’s good.” You say back to her with an old tone you had thought you had lost. It felt odd having two of your old friends back, and it made some things come out of you again.

“Your right, honey; that is not bad.”

“Right!”

‘96 

Soon after the burial, people grouped up and prepared to leave from the plane to the lake. You walked in the back with Jackie, for a while, and Mari. The beginning of your hike was comprised of Mari talking to you and Jackie about Theo Stevens in her Bio class, who has been giving her a lot of side eyes, which as a good friend you feed into her fantasy that he was “so checking her out.”

The hike took as long as you remember, but it seemed longer for the whining of Jackie and Mari, who seemed to bond significantly on the trip through their complaints. Every step felt like a mile. Sores on your heels and big toe, but you didn’t even have the energy to voice your pain. You can see Coach Ben struggling for the last 40 minutes with Misty and Marissa ahead of you, the two girls having trouble moving him. It felt like complaining about a hang nail to someone with a bullet wound; it didn’t stop Jackie and Mari, but it sure as fuck stopped you.

After a while, you and Taissa were sure you were off the trail you found earlier, but you were going in the same direction; you two came to the conclusion that you all would “eventually get to the lake.”. Tai insisted that she would keep leading the hiking party and she could do her own thing with Van beside her. 

Every other minute, You take your pocket knife and cut a heart on the trees to make a guide back to the plane, and suddenly a rotten horrendous smell comes to your nose. You gag to yourself but caught the ears of Jackie and Mari behind you. 

“What?” Jackie huffed as she looked over your shoulder to see your twisted face.

“I don’t know, You don’t smell that?” You ask.

Lottie and Jackie, now even Tai notice that the back has stopped. “Smell what?”

“I don’t know-” You started and were cut off by Natalie.

“Holy shit.” She says, taken back. You look at what she is talking about as all the yellowjackets walk forward, a gutted bear. The sound of flies and maggots comes to your ear before your eyes can register what is in front of you as you all continue hiking. The chest of the black bear was torn open down to its navel, small and large intestines sprawled out of the wound with semi-dried blood seeping out of the pores of the organs, innards from up in the cavity shredded down to the bottom. The beast was abused by whatever killed it before it died from the exposed flesh under the thick brown fur. A crow proudly sits on top the dead animal, picking on the remaining leftovers of meat. 

“Oh, God, I’m gonna puke,” Jackie complained as she walked behind you.

“What could have done that?” Shauna queried the group, her brown eyes looking straight at the bear. Worry set in her eyes.

“Probably wolves. They move in packs and fight in packs. Nothing can survive them. Not even a bear.” You say, offhandedly, something not too problematic because it was only natural for wolves to be in these woods. You kept walking.

“They can kill a fucking bear?” Natalie was amazed and horrified.

“Oh, yeah. Wolves can kill anything if its pack is big enough.” You say your eyes haven’t moved an inch from the bloody bear. You blink a few times before you snap out of it. You start to lead the hiking team, “Let’s get moving. We’re almost to the water.”

“What do we do if wolves come, (Y/n)?” Misty asks you. She stares at the bear before looking forward again. Everyone seemed to be engrossed with the brutal proof of nature’s violence, it’s ugly and gross, but it was real. It seemed more natural to you than you being in those woods.

“We are a big pack ourselves. We would probably scare them away if we sitck together. Let’s not get too worried… We should only worry if it’s a pack of 30 or something.”

“Very comforting.” Natalie snarked as she walked ahead of you. And you didn’t have the energy to say anything more. You just look at your feet and walk, letting yourself be quiet momentarily.

The woods always had that kind of power. They make you still for a few moments to just breathe and let it in. It makes you think clearer because of the green, or the breeze, of the freedom in the trees. It used to make you quiet and grateful for the peaceful views, but only now, it seems to ground you differently.

You miss your mom and dad. You miss your mom a lot and just want to call her. To tell her that everything was okay, that you were okay. That everything was just a stupid mistake and you were alive, and coming home in a few days. Your mom should have taken her medicine a few hours ago, and what if your dad couldn’t give it to her? What if your dad was off at work, and they both don’t know anything yet? They will find out in a few days when none of you return. Or do they know this story? Is it all over the news with your parents demanding answers, worried sick about you? You know how much they love you and how much this hurts them because it is hurting you. It hurts more than your black eyes and your achy neck.

A sinking hole.

It felt like a dreading hole that burrowed into your chest. It felt neverending, and it caused your breathing to hurt.

Worst of all, when you felt the sharp jolt of pain of neck when you moved your head to the side too much or too fast, was becoming overbearing. Every deep breath or pant causes a pain to spread down your upper back. It was getting to you as you felt a thump with every step. You wanted to float in the water; sweat was on your brow and collecting in your shirt.

You just kept walking with your eyes on your shoes, looking at the moss and dead leaves, when your thoughts wandered. Thankfully, Van stopped your thoughts by finding the lake and screaming for everyone to follow her.

“Come On, Let’s go!” She squeals with the others. Shauna, Jackie and you just followed behind with a second wind of excitement. It felt like running with marbles in your shoes at this point, but you couldn’t seem to care as the water welcomed you with open arms from the Sun’s heat. Van starts ripping off her shirt as she runs in front of you. She takes the scrunchie out of her hair and haphazardly throws it with her shirt. You start laughing out of happiness, and before you can even think, before the words of your father come to mind, you take off your backpack and throw your luggage with it. You stop at your personal pile, snatch off your shirt, and tug off your bottoms.

Behind you were the girls that ran past you. Their eyes seemed to be engrossed by the view in their way. Many have known you for a long time, some from childhood, and they have never seen your body. Brown, green, and blue eyes are all seen to scan you as the first- and second-year students happily stripped to swim in the lake. The girls didn’t know what to do besides study the curve of your side, the way your body naturally plumped in places. It was beautiful. The way that your back seemed more sensual from this angle of your bending down to put down your shirt, then when you sway your hips side to side to tug the bottoms off of yourself, seemed to make a reaction out of some of them.

Misty, helping bring Coach Ben to the shore, felt a mass tingling at the sight alone. She saved the image in her mind forever. Shauna swimming out with Lottie, Laura Lee, and Van all seemed to lull their splashing as they tried to call to you but were silenced by how your skin looked bare in the sun for a second.

Shauna was breathless and nervous, guilty of what she did and what she felt for Jackie. Now something new came over her for you again. She wanted to bury it like she buried her feelings for Jackie. Shauna looks away quickly.

Lottie studied you without shame; she always knew of the pneumatic way your body was shaped and hidden underneath your clothes. However, she was ashamed of herself and didn’t want anyone to see her seeing you like that. She thought they would see she was in love with you with just one look.

As you pass Jackie, Mari, and Natalie, when Travis splashes them with the cold water, saying a blunt, “Travis, no one likes you.” before diving into the cold lake. Natalie scanned down your body. She has always admired you and your kindness, but as you made fun of Travis it made something tug in Natalie’s chest. Nat always knew that if there was a girl she would be with, it was you. She cowardly looks away and talks to Jackie and Mari. Natalie hides in the conversation with them about Travis. How he is hot, Natalie disagrees and wants to say something about you but bites her tongue.

You swim over to Shauna, Lottie, and Van and splash water onto them. Giggling and laughing out of control. You start playing tug of war in the water with Shauna on your shoulders. Shauna sightly squeezes her thighs and muffles your ears, she feels you against her, and she quickly moves to her position like she is adjusting her seat on your shoulders.

You and Van hold eye contact; she smiles at you widely and happily. Her emerald eyes shine back into your (e/c) eyes, and a small conversation is shared without words. It was just a little humor between you two, it made you happy, even when you and Shauna were pushed back into the water. Van is laughing and loving spending time with you but is happier that she won. Vanessa and Taissa share a look together, as Taissa rebraids Akilah’s hair. For a long time, they had been together, and for a long time, you seemed to be the only subject the two seemed to avoid speaking about. But when Van looks over to Taissa, who was checking you out just as much as Van was, the two seem to realize something at that moment.

You swim away with Lottie after everyone gets tired from playing. You two just float lazily in the water, holding hands. You feel relaxed for the first time in days, and the neck pain subsides. Lottie lets go of your hand to swim slightly off, but she stops. Standing on the sand with her toes buried into it to stand firm as she watched something in the distance, you stood yourself and saw a shining reflection of something in the trees.

“Guys!” Lottie shouts. She points with a wary smile, “Look.”

Everyone sees what you see. It’s a cabin up the hill to the left. It felt like some kind of prayer was answered this morning. It makes you smile and laugh manically as you quickly swam back to the shore. The others follow behind you with hope racing through them. You tell everyone as they are on shore.

“Okay, we found something up that hill. It’s some kind of reflections of a window. So, injured, rest here, and we will check it out and see if it is okay to go into. Misty, Uh, honestly, Anyone who isn’t a senior, stay here with the injured and rest. Senior Yellowjackets, Let’s check this place out!” You say excitedly and tell the girls, “We’ll come get you as soon as we know it is safe to go in there.”

“Girls, be careful.” Coach Ben says to you guys as you start running away. He doesn’t care much at the moment was you all run off, he is lost in his own head.

You and the others start running up the hill with your shoes wet from the lake and your clothes sticking to your body from the water. You and the other seniors rush up the incline to what could be the only break you have found in these dense woods.

‘21

As you expected, you were arrested shortly after when Natalie smashed the window of Travis's front door when you got there. It felt wrong going into his home unannounced, let alone breaking in, after not seeing him in decades. Misty was being a little detective and Natalie looked a little emotional looking over her old best friends things. You were out of place, you and Travis have no connection outside of the crash.  It felt like how it did many times out there in the woods, a dulling and distance that you built to cope with the horrors out there. But, it never left you after you were saved. You felt this way sometimes when you get too stressed or sad. You‘re on autopilot and you don't act out of character, even when you are fully checked out. When you check back in after your adrenaline dies down, you were sitting next to Misty and still talking. Misty was talking about her bird, Caligula, and how because he is a Hyacinth Macaw that he couldn't eat most bird seed.  Natalie was out taking her first call. 

“How is your dad doing?” Misty asked next to you. “I heard you put him in a nursing home.”

“Yeah, He started needing medication a lot and constant care. But he is still doing good for a 89 year old.”

Misty nods, “He is a good guy. He always helped me with my car when I came over.”

“I mean, how could he be not friendly to you? You were the one to come over to see his weird daughter.”

“You weren’t weird!” Misty protested and turned to look at you. Her ashy blonde curls bounced. “You were so cool! I came over every night!”

You chuckle, and you bump shoulders with Misty. You say to her, “We were weird together. Thank you for being my friend back then.”

“I am still your friend.”

“I know. I want to be close again.” You confess to her as you look into her brown eyes. She is flustered, and you can tell, “You have no idea how much I missed you in New York, Misty. I didn’t have my friend-” You stop yourself from getting emotional. You remember leaving for NYU in 2002 and how you had to leave your home.

“I-I would like that too.”

“You remember when you fed me soup after my neck surgery?”

Misty chuckled, fixing her glasses, “You spit soup on me.” She laughed.

“You made me laugh!” You giggle at her and lean on her shoulder again. Your neck aches slightly from the angle, but it didn’t hurt like when you were younger.

“Alright, Misty Quigley, you have your phone call.” The police officer cut into the conversation and held Natalie by the arm as he walked her back into the cell. Misty left, and You were left with Natalie.

You feel yourself come back to your body when you realize you will be alone with Natalie again, and right now doesn’t seem like a good time to be chatty.

“I don’t try to be a bomb, you know.” Natalie said to you randomly as she leaned against the wall. She is finally talking about what you said in the car. 

There is a moment you don’t know what to say. You didn’t even know if this is still real anymore. You simply say, “I know you don’t, Nat.”

“You were right. I shouldn’t have given Misty enough to follow me so you and her didn’t have to be in all this mess.”

You look at her with more softness than you want to. You felt a tenderness to the sound of her voice still. After all this time, Natalie still had her way with words to make you miss who she once was. Primal and passionate, with no fear except death. A free time and a time that seemed to linger in the words you spoke together. The roles you played never left your head, even as you saved yourselves in your own ways, and it still lingered in the way you talk together. 

“Uh, I don’t mind.” You joke as you smile at her, trying to make things better. You don’t know why she left you alone that night years ago, and you didn’t even want to know. You want her to be okay. “I would rather be here with you than you be alone.”

Natalie scoffs softly to herself and looks at her shoes, “Don’t say that.”

“Why?”

“You shouldn’t be here. You, out of everyone, don’t need to be here… I'm sorry.”

“All forgiven if you get us out of here.” You say and look over to the cops that work at their desks. You know you should be mad, even vengeful, but you couldn’t bring yourself to feel any of that. “I haven’t lived in a while. I have been a hermit for the last 20 years. This doesn’t hurt me too much.”

“All forgiven?” Natalie raised an eyebrow. She looks at you sharply at your choice of words. It seemed to hit something inside of her that she didn’t want to have poked.

“I-I didn’t mean-”

“We’re not there anymore, (Y/n). You don’t have the power to forgive anything. Or anyone.” Natalie said as she felt the need to remind you of your own part in the past. As someone who was ashamed and scared but always forgave others. You made them feel forgiven for something more significant. But you didn’t have the power. You never did. You can’t forgive the sins you all have done.

It eats you whole.

“You’re right. You’re not forgiven, Natalie.” You chided as if you had no control over your tone and words. It felt exposing to have her see through you and see you still holding onto the comfort in your old power. The power in who you thought you were when you 18, with the powers that you all thought you found in the mountains, that had never truly left you. But you know she hasn't let go of the past too. “I don’t have the power to do so, but you have wronged me like many others. You can’t make my forgiveness anything more than it is, You already did that, and it didn’t take you that far, don’t make me your scapegoat again.”

Natalie scoffed as Misty came back with a smile with the same police officer. “Looks like it’s your lucky day. Someone posted your bail.”

You didn’t even feel real. You weren’t supposed to be here.

‘96

Your feet are numb as you try to run stiffly beside the other seniors to the cabin up the hill. The only sign of human hands that have ever touched these woods for what seemed to be thousands of miles. As you all rush to the wooden door, you start screaming, whining, moaning, crying for anyone there to help.

“HELP! HELLO! WE NEED HELP! ANYONE HOME?!” you yell to the cabin. You and Jackie work on the door. You look behind you and see Lottie looking on with horror at the cabin, scared of it.

You and Jackie overpower the door to open with teamwork, and your weight on it. It opens to old dusty decorations and furniture laid out in the space like it was once a home of some kind as you cautiously entered the home.

“Hello? Is anyone here?” Jackie called out into the home.

“Maybe they just went on a hike?” Mari asked behind you, walking further into the home.

“Yeah, like a decade ago.” Jackie sassed. “It reeks in here.”

Cobwebs and a sour smell you couldn’t place lingered in the home. It smelt like old antiques and some kind of leather. The rotten smell of wood or meat from long ago stained the atmosphere. It was creepy and old, with bones of deer on the mantle placed above the fireplace.

“You two, look in the Pantry for any food. Everyone else, look around for stuff we can use,” Taissa says to the girls in the cabin; Travis walks in from the door. “First aid, Flashlights, tools.”

Jackie walks out with a can of beans in her hand. She starts to open it as she walks into the living room. “What the hell? Jackie, that’s not your personal buffet.”

Jackie stills and gags, dropping the rotten beans onto the floor. They shined with a green hue that made you want to gag yourself. “See, this is why we should’ve stayed in the plane!” She snaps to you.

You look at her wide-eyed and say, “Yeah, well, we didn’t. We all decided to leave. A can of rotten beans is why we should have never found the cabin?”

“This is a fucking nightmare.” Jackie storms out of the house with a stomp with every step. She is not having any of this.

You and Shauna share a look, urging her to go follow Jackie. Somethings never ends, like you two always having to comfort jackie after she freaks out. 

From the back of the kitchen, Van calls out to the group with a massive pile of Playboy Magazines before slamming them down onto the dusty kitchen table. Dust flies into the air like smoke from a fire. “Well, hello.” Van comedically calls, “Don’t worry, guys. We might be stuck in the middle of nowhere, but there’s porn.”

You giggle and walk over to the magazines, seeing tits and thin women posing on pages. Not your thing, but seeing boobs and the female form that wasn’t your friends was excellent. “Nice tits.” You say as you scan the pages of the old 1968 issue of Playboy.

“Holy shit,” Mari says as Natalie and Akilah look over Van’s shoulder to view the porn. It was kinda freeing to be so openly entertained by porn with your "normal" friends. The friends don’t feel like their cheeks are burning or that they feel turned on by how some of the girls smile on the paper, but they all seem to like it nonetheless—admiring the beauty of another woman.

Travis looks over, eyeing up what we got, and acts like he is not interested with an unmistakable shine to his eye.

“Hey, this guy kind of looks like you, flex.”

“If only any of you actually looked like her.”

“Well, talking like that is why you are a virgin and will always be a virgin, Travis.” You joke back to him, looking over the pages.

“Do guys, like, actually jerk off to this stuff?” 

“Nah, We-we hate that shit. You know, you can’t even tell what her favorite book is.” Travis lies, trying his best to seem like a sensitive and not meatheaded guy, but at the end of the day he is just some guy who looks boobs. Because you know that you will be touching yourself later to those images, and you don’t doubt he will.

You laugh loudly at his words before he can speak more, or the others can either. You slam the magazine down and wipe a tear that formed from his atrocious acting. Van is trying and failing to hold in her laughs, Mari and Akilah giggling. As you leave them alone, you just snicker, “I’m checking out the pantry.”

You chuckle to yourself as you look around the empty cabinet. In the corner, you find a comforting sight. It was a fishing pole, a fisher box, and two rolls of big fishing line. It looked like something you would find in your dad’s garage. Your dad liked to work in there with his truck. He would handle work at his workbench and play old music on the radio. He fished for a living, always smelt of the sea and cigarettes. The image of your dad sitting on the bench smoking a cigarette as he works on something your mom bought from Goodwill, as he just quietly did his task. Sometimes he would feel you staring at him and let you sit on his lap as he worked, holding his tools, and you just loved sitting against his muscular chest as a kid. You and your dad were best friends when you were little, you were his little helper, and you never were more grateful as you found a food source for everyone. Yeah, the rod is a little rusted and old, but you were sure you could find some oil and something to scrub the rust away.

You, alone, keep looking around the near-empty cabinet, and you notice the stairs that go up to a door for an upper floor. You don’t think much before stepping up the steps, the girls talking and walking around in the other room.

You don’t think much before you put your hand on the old handle of the attic door, and you don’t think much as you open it that it’s empty at first glance. You look to the ceiling as you step up the steps, half your body in the level before you look around the ground, and your eyes stop on a shape in the back of the room.

Your heart stops.

The girls voice sounds like echoes down a few feet from you.

The sweat on your brow dries to a cold sweat.

Your eyes widen as a gasp holds in your throat, your mouth open as a scream is stuck inside you, a hand covering your mouth.

A man's mummified body sits in an old rocking chair with a hunting rifle in his hands. His head was opened from the back, and it was clear as day what his fate was. The man had shot himself in the mouth, and he was never found until you opened that door. The smell of leather and decay was strong in this room. 

It was the fate you felt in your bones that was now yours.

“(Y/n)-” Van says behind you, and you quickly shut the door with a bang, and you turn to look at her. Her lighthearted face drops as she looks at your face. She cringes at the loud sounds of the bang. “(Y/n), What’s wrong?”

“Um, I need to call a meeting.” You rush as you leave the cabinet and grab Van’s firm bicep. She was flexing her arm as she quickly followed you, and you quieted and seemed unable to speak.

“Guys!” Van called for the others as she followed you. You look at the others with a pale face. You felt scared. But you couldn’t let go of the only shelter in the woods. Everyone, worriedly, circles you.

You couldn’t do this anymore.

This is so fucked up. 

Fat tears fill your eyes as you look at each of the seniors, croaking, “There is a dead body in the attic… He killed himself decades ago-”

“What the fuck!” Natalie whispers to herself, completely freaked out.

Jackie says with eyes like saucers, “Are you fucking serious, (Y/n)?!”

A chorus of shock and disgust, and you let your tears fall, but you pull yourself together very quickly. “Okay. Okay.” You start as you wipe a tear with your palm. “The cabin is in fucking great condition for being left alone for so long. It needs little fixes. We need this cabin to survive before the rescue comes and gets us.”

“No, (Y/n), I say no. We’re going back to the plane.”

You feel your patience run thin as you tell your childhood friend, “Jackie, we have no other choice. This is the first shelter we have found here, and you are telling me we shouldn’t sleep somewhere warm and dry at night?”

“No, We shouldn’t sleep in a house with a fucking dead body!”

“I agree! This place has such a bad feeling.” Lottie says.

“No, we need to stay here. This is a fucking home. We need this.” Taissa fought back.

“Okay, Let’s vote. All in favor of staying at the cabin.” You say and raise your hand. You, Travis, Taissa, Van, Laura Lee, and Natalie. The ones against were Jackie, Shauna, Lottie, Mari, and Akilah.

Majority rule.

“We need to do this the right way. We need to bury him.” Laura Lee says to the group. She nods to the cabin and says, “There is a shovel in there.”

“Can you and Van start digging… I don’t one the others to see this. Anyone go tell the others to come if you want, and you can leave to get everything and the stuff at the lake if you don’t want to see this.” You ramble. You knew what you had to do for the group. This is your only chance of survival, and your dad’s voice echoes in your mind.

A dull feeling comes over your neck. It felt like a hand comforting a pain underneath. 

“I need help moving the body. It's ancient…”

“I’ll come,” Taissa says, putting a hand on your shoulder for comfort. You only then realize you are staring a thousand miles away and look at her face.

“Me too.” Shauna jumped in, she comes closer to you and holds your hand.

“Shauna-”

“I’m not letting (Y/n) do it alone, Jackie.” Shauna pleads to Jackie as she comes over to you too. Her warm brown eyes hit your face, and her arm wraps around your waist in a hug.

Jackie, Mari, Lottie, and Travis leave to get the others and everything left behind on the shore of the lake. You soberly enter the house and quickly walk up the stairs to the attic. You confront the sour smell of mummification as you stop at the door to the second level. Taissa and Shauna were behind you, not wanting to do the dirty work that was about to happen.

You take a deep breath as your father's voice comes to your mind.

“You’re not a little girl. You can’t cry anymore.”

Don’t cry.

Don’t cry.

You take another deep breath and ball up your fists. You rush over behind the chair of the corpse.

You push the chair, scraping on the floor, eerily groans in the home. You hold your breath, keeping out the dirty air, as you push it toward the stairs.

Shauna and Taissa gasped like you did when you first seen him as you pushed the chair to the door. Their hands are over their mouths, and they watch in horror as you move infront of the body.

You try to keep your eyes off the body, but you can’t help but glance up at his face.

Empty eye sockets look back into yours. They were burning an unsaid truth of the two of you.

This was your fate if you were never found.

You grab under the arms of the body, and you lift the body with surprising ease. The leathery and weathered skin of the body rubbed against the soft skin of your hand. You felt the epidermis of the skin slide unnaturally from the muscle of the body, it slip with the pressure of your hold. It shook you to your core. You quickly pull the body down as you move down the latter steps. You don’t say a word before Shauna and Taissa grab a limp of the leathery body to help you carry it down. All of you run outside with the very light body.

The skin was flaking off with every step you took.

As you walk outside, Van is working double time, throwing the dirt behind her to make a 4 foot grave. Laura Lee took Van to move as they both, with horror, looked at the three of you carrying the body and laying it gently down into the grave.

As you crouch with the other two, you can’t help but have a sob come out of you as you let go of the body. This was someone. This was a man, a son, maybe a brother, father, or husband. And he is a fucking mummy in the Canadian forest out in the middle of nowhere.

You slump down from your exhausted legs, laying beside the hole in the ground, and cry infront of the other girls. This was all too much. You just wanted to get away from all of this. You get up and try not to touch your face before you can at least put on some hand sanitizer.

You stand still as you try to swallow the tears. You look up into the sky, hoping that all these feelings can get you out of it. The blue sky seemed to urge you to pray to something for help. It worsens as you look up because the fat tears fall down your cheeks.

You look at the other girls as you try to stop your sobs and walk away. You walk behind the cabin and cry into the air as quietly as you can. You never wanted to know how a mummy felt. You wished he never was in there. You wish you were never in these woods. You wish you were home cuddling with your mom in her bed in the living room. You weren’t supposed to be here.

You see Van and Shauna come from the side of the house and turn to see you, both deeply worried and with tears in their eyes.

You welcome Van and Shauna into your arms as they do you. You don’t stop the tears as you cry into Shauna’s shoulder like a little girl again. Vanessa kisses your forehead and says into your ear, “It’s all okay now. He is buried and gone. It’s all okay.”

As the night settled, the tingling inch on your skin didn’t. The girls around you slept, Shauna beside you and Jackie beside her. You slept in the dark corner of the living room of the cabin. It was a very emotionally high day for everyone. From the hike, and happiness of finding the cabin, to the horror of seeing the mummy. You didn't feel like you were really processing anything really afterwards, because you didn't even react when Coach Ben had a freak out and punched Misty in the nose. 

Your hands twist the semi-rusted fishing pole together. It was still in great shape but needed some TLC.  You lined the wheel, put on a bait without the hook, and had the white berries from the morning. You felt hope come over you slightly as it looked familiar and good. You weren’t the best at fishing, but you knew how to do it. “I can do this. We got food and water.” You thought and sighed.

You place the rod against the wall as quietly as possible, not to disturb the others' sleeping. You needed a moment. The air was too thick in there. So stuffy. 

You slip out of the room without a creek and feel the cool spring breeze hit your face. But as you walk around the porch on the other side of the house, you confront the back of Lottie.

“Hey, what are you doing out here. Having a hard time sleeping?” You ask Lottie as you come up behind her. You stand beside her as she crosses her arms and looking into the wilderness. 

Lottie looks at you with manic eyes and says, “I just have a bad feeling about this place.” She whispers to you emotionally. Like she was scared to say anymore. 

“Yeah, it is pretty stinky.” You joke and sigh as you lean against a pillar. “And there are spiders that could eat your face… But it’s our only choice to sleep somewhere warm.”

Lottie isn’t convinced, and you feel slightly annoyed as you sigh, “Lottie, I am not letting you sleep out here for bad vibes. I am sure we can find some stuff in the woods tomorrow to help clean the place of all the bad vibes” 

Lottie looks over to you with her eyes looking unmoved. She doesn’t want to move. 

You approach her and grab her shoulders to look at you, “Lottie, close your eyes.” 

“Why?” 

“Just close your eyes. And take a deep breath of air.” You say, eyes closed, and take a deep breath of air. “Let’s both just ground ourselves for a moment.” 

You hear Lottie take a deep breath with you. And you two do this back and further a few times. 

"Just feel the wilderness with you. It breathes you in as you breath it in." You say and take the finally big breath with her. 

Before you can open your eyes, you feel lips against your own. You open your eyes to see Lottie kiss you with a hand coming up to cup your face. She sucks onto your lip sweetly and leans into your body against the pillar. She quickly pulls back and says, "Sorry-I’m sorry I was so wrong for that-”

“No!” You squeaked, your body feeling hot as she kissed you. You look at her guilty face and think it was a straight girl wanting comfort. You get it. The kiss was nice. “It’s okay. Let’s just act like it never happened, okay? No weird feelings.” 

“No weird feelings,” Lottie says back to you with a smile. The both of you walk back into the new nest the Yellowjackets have claimed as their own. 

‘21

After getting let out of jail, you were silent. You didn’t want be here anymore and just being near Natalie made your blood boil. You don’t really respond to Misty pretending to be Natalie to get Kevin, the one who posted your bail, and you just shrug when Natalie looked to you for support when she got upset. You sit in the back seat again as the two women figure out where Travis worked, you shook your head because you had a bad feelings about all of this.

And you were right. When you three got to the construction site, you found Travis hanging from a CAT crane with thick metal chains as his rope.

You never liked Travis as a person, you sympathize and understood but never liked him. You felt yourself completely freeze that the sight of the man. You immediately started to sob without being able to stop yourself. Misty stood still for a moment when she seen him but she quickly tried to stop Natalie from seeing him, “Nat.” She says as she grabs Natalie’s arm, failing from stopping Natalie from seeing the lifeless corpse of her former lover.

You know Travis. You knew him better than most, but not as much as Natalie. Natalie crashed to the ground with her hands covering her eyes, she violently sobs into her hands. Misty grabbing her shoulders, and you stand a foot away with your hand over your mouth.

Fat tears fall from your eyes as she quickly try to knell down to Natalie, “Natalie, don’t look, we need to go.” You say as you rub her back. Forgetting all the hostility and resentment you held for her in the moment, just comforting your friend.

Natalie cried harder for a moment, your words reminding her this is real, and the sound of sirens ring out from far away on the road. The police were coming and they were going to see women they arrested earlier at a crime scene, so Misty then said panicked, “Natalie we need to go!”

Misty puts her hands on Natalie’s shoulder again but this time Natalie pushed her off in a huff, her face red and wet. Natalie stood up with a sob as she walks back to the car, Misty tries to come to her again but Natalie pushes her harder away. You follow behind them closely and sit in the back silently as you cry.

The ride back home was long and quiet. Not even Misty tried to break the slience until we were an hour away from home.

Misty was very tired and wanted to go home before she wouldn’t have any sleep for work the next day. You sweetly told her you understood, and Natalie dropped her off at her cute little house. Misty opens your door with a smile, and she hugs you before you can get your keys out; you close your eyes and hug her back.

“You are leaving me with Natalie.” You whisper into her ear, groaning that you have to spend more time with Natalie when you want to be far away from her.

Misty chuckled and rubbed you back up and down with her tiny hand, a mocking pout as she said, “You’ll be okay for another twenty minutes, honey. You got this.”

You smile, pull back, and say to her as she enters her house. “I got this.”

And as you thought, you didn't have this. The drive with Natalie is at tense as you thought it was as you drove down the drive to Natalie’s hotel. You felt dirty for how you spoke to her. It was so wrong what you said, and you said it because you believed it. Every word you said had venom.

And the worst part is that Natalie isn’t even mad. She is a fuck up. She fucked so many things up, and just because you owe her your life, it didn’t mean how she acted was right. How she acted to you since she knew you have never been fair, and she knew that. She couldn’t help it. She never wanted to see you leave her, so she left you first, and Natalie needed you to stay away from her heart which always seemed to bleed when she saw your beautiful face. You never did make her feel judged. You made Natalie feel checked. And she didn’t want to feel that all the time, but she also knew she needed that now more than ever. She is lost. Travis is gone.

You feel the urge to speak and be honest. For a moment, you see blonde hair in the corner of your eyes and the awkward teenage nervousness with the coolest girl in school. But you knew her. This is your Natalie. You must explain yourself before not seeing her again; You know what is on her mind now that Travis has killed himself.

“I don't think that I have ever really gotten you, Natalie…” You confessed with a prolonged breath. You felt a weight come off you when you just said it plainly to her, and a sadness tugged on your twitching eye. Knuckles white, holding the wheel as you continue in a calmer breath, “You change all the time and I can never get a clear look at who you are. Like if I thought you were a solid, you are actually a gas, but before I can accept that, you become a solid again. I may not be the most accepting, but I have always tried for you. Because the one thing I know about you that never changes is that I love you, and you love me in your own way.” You almost whisper at the end; your eyes peek over to see her staring straight into your face.

Natalie was silent as she watched you, she knew she was that way, especially towards you—her doe. “I’m sorry, (y/n). I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know. I know, Nat. That is why I never closed the door to you.” You say as you pull into the hotel. You wanted to say more and let the years of frustrating confusion and love just come out. But you know better. You know Natalie, and you know yourself. This is as far as it will go. “I told you back then, and I will tell you now, I will always love you."

You look over when you parked and finish what you said, and her face looks like something came over her. Natalie usually was guarded and cagey when she was emotional. But, in this moment of honesty with you, it felt good even though it was not all good. 

You and Natalie were the only reason that the yellowjackets' survived. The pride of it sank from the weight of the price that it was to survive out in those cold woods. The decisions, the projects, and the goals twisted and darkened with the reality that once was. Natalie was your rock as you were hers, but you were more of an island that housed the girls lost at sea with a lighthouse welcoming them with a smile. Natalie always envied that about you, never to admit it, but to be able to comfort the way you do.

The nights Natalie cuddled into your stomach for warmth, how her lips kissed your skin gently with reverence of the world, and how she held your face to have you fed.

You know her best and worst, just as Natalie knew yours.

“I’m sorry,” Natalie whispered, trying her hardest not to let the tears fall.

You felt your nose tingle and your chin quiver as you look over at her, water lining your eyes. You were slightly overwhelmed with emotion, longing for a different ending to your story and mourning the girls that once were you two.

You whisper to her, “I love you… I want you to love yourself to be better. Not just the rehabs and the AAs, but, like, better, Natalie. I had to do that. I was locked in my house for years before I thought about being “normal” again.”

“I have never been normal.” Natalie jabbed as she took off her seatbelt. But she didn’t move from her seat because even she knew this needed to be said.

“No, you are cool. That was better.” You chuckle lightheartedly, trying to ease the weight you feel for her. The regret never fail to get you emotional. Natalie chuckles, and then she starts to cry quietly. “You know I am always there even if we are miles away, okay? I am still the same (Y/n).”

You put your hand to rub her back, and she lets you. She cries in her hands for a few seconds and doesn’t push you away.

“I don’t know what you think of me, and I don’t really care. I need you to know that for me knowing you has been so important to me. Thank you for being exactly who you were and are, Natalie Scatorccio."

Suddenly, like she remembered why she was there, she opened the door and left the car coldly, without a word.

You take a deep breath, close your eyes, and nod at the behavior. You love her but can’t help; she wouldn’t let you. It’s a lost love for a good reason. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t fucking break your heart. You take another breath and tell her, even though she can’t hear you, “It’s okay. I get it, Natalie.” 

You pull out of the parking lot and don’t want to be on the road anymore. And you drive to the closest place you know and park in front of their house like you usually do.

You knock on the door politely and feel yourself mask the sadness until you can talk about it better. You look at your old watch, the handy-down watch your dad gave you on your 30th birthday; seeing it was 10:30 pm, you sigh when you hear the footsteps at the door.

Warm brown eyes look into yours, and your lower lip quivers slightly.

“Hey, Stinky.”

“Hey, Smelly.” You smile and lead forward to Shauna, Hugging her deeply.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were coming tomorrow? Callie is at Ashley’s, and Jeff is “at work” and-”

“I just wanted to see you.” You sniffled and pulled back, giving her a tight-lipped smile, “Coffee?”

“Fuck yeah, let's have some coffee.” Shauna smiled, pulling you into having your weekly gossip and venting session with her best friend early.

As your body walks into Shauna’s home, someone watches the back of your head as you enter the house. Their eyes looked onto the back of your body. She remembers you, thinks about you often, on that day at the lake, and how you swam beside them and laughed. You tried your most challenging at that time, and she remembered how beautiful you were when you became someone who saved everyone. You were a crucial part of her survival, the whole pack's survival. She leaned against the white leather seats of the van, and she lit a cigarette as she watched you do your weekly routine with Shauna. Her fingers rub the leather wheel of the car, and her knuckles are white as she holds in something darker that has plagued the last 25 years. She was fucked up, and she knew it. She wanted to own you. She would be lost without you to ground her, to reassure her of reality and what it meant to be free now. The urge to go out of the car and try to get you back, pull into the car to keep you once again. She says softly, with her eyes blinking uncontrollably, “Goodnight, (y/n), Goodnight.” they then start the black van and drives out of the suburb.

[27spoons]

Wintering | Yellowjackets

summary: Late S2, you decide that the team could use some Christmas spirit. So, you do what you can to bring them some.

pairing: just general platonic yj/reader

warnings: n/a

wc: 1560

ao3

Snow falls delicately around the cabin as the fire crackles before you. Van adds another log as she takes a seat beside you, the orange glow flickering across her face.

"We'll need more wood soon." As the flames consume the log, she asks, "Didn't you draw the card?"

"Yeah," You nod, taking a quick glance outside. "Guess I just hoped it would stop snowing before I went out." The snow isn't falling harshly, just large snowflakes slowly descending to the ground. "Looks like I might have been hoping for too much." You sigh as you look back to the fire.

"Yeah, well, everyone has to play their roles." Van remarks flatly, "Everyone draws cards for chores. Yours just happens to be gathering wood today. Don't see Nat and Travis complaining about hunts."

You have to fight the urge to roll your eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I get it." You push yourself to a standing position, "I'll go get started before it gets dark out." In response, Van makes some sarcastic half-comment, but you choose to ignore it.

Tensions have been high since Javi. Everyone copes differently, you suppose. And she does have a point. You guys do need firewood, and everyone does have a role to play.

You throw on another hoodie, and if you had known you'd end up stuck out in the middle of fucking nowhere, Canada, you would have packed gloves. You miss having warm fingers sometimes. You miss a lot of things, actually. But warm fingers are the most significant thing you miss right now.

Grabbing the axe from the wall, you pause before you leave, overhearing a conversation between Mari and Gen. Christmas. They're talking about when Christmas could be. Has to be soon, right? Or maybe it already passed?

Now, that's an idea.

You grab the rope as well and make a mental plan. Will you chop down some trees for wood? Yes. But you're also surrounded by pine trees. There has to be one out here that would fit inside the cabin.

It's not the first tree you cut. Or the second. Or even the third. Those are for firewood. God knows if you showed up with a pine tree, talking about Christmas, with nothing to keep the fire fed, none of the girls would be all that eager.

Well, maybe Misty. But Misty is… Misty.

It's nearing sunset by the time you find the perfect tree. Well, perfect is an overstatement, considering it's bald in a few spots, and you accidentally slipped while cutting it, so now there's a giant gash in the trunk, but whatever.

A tree, anyway.

When you drag it back to the cabin, it takes a little more effort than usual. Typically, you'd debranch it before moving it, but that's hard to do when you plan on using this tree as a Christmas tree. Doesn't help that by the time you get the tree down, it's almost pitch dark out.

Damn Canadians and their winters with their lack of sunlight.

"Need a hand?" Nat leans against a post outside the cabin with her arms crossed as you approach, dragging the tree behind you with exertion. "Surprised you brought another tree back. Seemed like the ones you got were enough for now."

You shake your head as you drop the rope onto the snow out front, "Not for firewood." You stretch your back, groaning as you feel something pop into, or out of, place. "Thought we could, uh, maybe… Christmas." You gesture to the pine.

"Seriously? Christmas?" The hunter scoffs, "Yeah, nothing like thanking Santa Claus for our dead friends." She then sighs and shakes her head, "Sorry. Just… yeah. You want a hand?" She takes a step off the porch and into the snow, joining you at your side. "I can help you bring it in."

"God, please." You murmur as you unwrap the rope from the trunk, "If I try to move it again, I'll probably throw my back out or something." A tense laugh follows the statement as you rub the back of your neck. "C'mon, let's, uh…" You move to one end of the tree as Nat takes the other, and you two hoist it off the ground with simultaneous grunts.

"Is that a Christmas tree?!" Misty is the first to speak up, because of course she is, when Nat kicks the door open as you two move the tree inside.

You find yourself smiling all the same. "Yep." You and Nat move the tree to the corner of the main area, setting it down with a thud. "Dunno when Christmas actually is, but… we had a prom, had a baby shower. Why can't we… do something else, y'know? Make things slightly more tolerable for a little while." You walk over to the fire and warm your hands in front of it as the others glance over at the tree with mixed expressions. 

"This is stupid." A voice cuts through, "Hardly anything, or any reason, to get into the… "holiday spirit."" Shauna scowls as she appraises the tree.

"Could be fun." Van shrugs with a grin, "Sing Christmas carols." She laughs at that as if finding the idea itself funny.

"Oh, that's a good idea!" Misty chimes in, "I could-"

"No." Mari cuts her off with a scoff, "We’d be better off listening to wolves howl."

"But it isn't the worst idea." Taissa nods, "The tree. Not the… carols." She adds for clarification, waving a hand dismissively in Misty's direction.

"We need something to distract us right now." Lottie offers quietly, "Something more than this. We could… use it as a way to honour the ones we've lost. It doesn't have to be for no reason."

"We could carve some ornaments! Or use some paper to make some paper snowflakes! Decorate the tree properly!" Misty is practically bouncing on her heels at this point. And… yeah, you saw that coming. Hardly surprising she's the most excited about the idea. "We don't need presents for it to be Christmas!" She adds, "Just each other!" 

The last statement earns a collective groan from the group and a scowl from Shauna.

"Could use some paper from my SAT book." Akaliah says as she rummages through her bag, "More useful as snowflakes than study material at this point…"

"And someone," Van shoots you a grin, "Just chopped down a few trees, so we've got the wood to make some shitty ornaments. We could do this."

"This is stupid," Shauna repeats louder this time. 

"Yeah," Nat snorts, "But… Lottie is right. We could use a distraction. What's the harm?" She shrugs and leans back against a wall. "Not like we really have much to lose by spending half a day doing… this." She gestures to the tree with one of her hands before crossing them again. 

Silence falls over the groups as everyone considers this. No one seems to have any strong complaints or actual reasons not to do it.

"Great!" Misty says finally, cutting through the silence and clapping her hands. "It's settled! We'll have Christmas in a few days!" And, since no one is arguing with her, it gets added to everyone's mental calendar.

The next few days are spent mostly the same, except for the people carving ornaments and cutting snowflakes to decorate the tree. Not everyone partakes, but those that do have a noticeable morale boost.

By the time "Christmas" comes around, the tree is looking… more like a Christmas tree and less like a regular pine tree.

"Someone call Charlie Brown and tell him we stole his tree." Van snorts as the group takes in sight of the tree.

"Hey, at least we have more than one ornament." Tai chimes in with a grin from Van's side. "And it's got…" She gestures to the tree, "Less bald spots. And it's taller."

"Gee," Van replies, "Talk about the bare minimum."

"Well, I think that it's great." Misty says with a little too much cheer in her voice, "Now all we need is hot chocolate." She practically skips over to the base of the tree and takes a seat, very obviously expecting everyone to follow suit. When no one does, she pouts.

Then, an idea comes to her mind. "Van!" Misty says, turning to face the redhead. "Would you be able to tell us a Christmas story?"

Van perks up slightly, "That I can do." She grins lazily and takes a seat on a chair, and eventually, you and the others find their seats around Van. Like kids listening to their grandpa spin a tale.

"Alright." Van grins, slapping her thighs as she glances around, "Alright. Let's set the scene. Suburbs of Chicago, right around Christmas time. We're following the McCallister family, specifically, Kevin McCallister…" 

As Van starts retelling Home Alone to the best of her abilities, the fire crackles in the background, the tree stands (mostly) proud in the corner of the cabin, and things are okay for the first time in a while. You can pretend to be teenagers listening to a Christmas tale and not worry about what tomorrow brings. That's a tomorrow you problem.

"I still think it's stupid that they forgot a whole child," Shauna grumbles at some point during the story, earning a laugh from some of the girls.

"Five kids?" Tai rolls her eyes, "I'd probably forget one, too."

a/n: i have yellowjackets brainrot and i love christmas so much its not even funny bro

i also havent written fanfics since i was 16 but yk theres always time to start again

[peach-and-bugs]

Love your writing so far. Was wondering if you can do adult van with dialogue 13 please.

🧡Give You My Lovin' - Van Palmer x fem!Reader🧡

Fanfiction master list

disclaimer: don't repost my work. I only post on Tumblr and on Ao3. anything else is stolen and should be removed immediately

Summary: Just a quiet morning with Vanessa Palmer

Warnings: mild angst, mentions of cancer, nudity

Word Count: 1,305

A/N: Hello Lovelies! I decided to speed through my Van requests, as there are only three in total and she's a fun one to write for. Not a lot with this one. It's definitely on the shorter side, so if people really want it id be willing to do a part two, but that would only be per request ;) but nothing else to really say, so as always, feel free to leave questions or comments in my comments or ask box, and happy reading! 🧡

Vanessa "Van" Palmer Tag List:

Yellowjackets Tag List: @frasersgf

General Tag List: @summergeezburr

-🧡-

You woke up with the sun in your eyes and a space beside you, sheets still warm from the now absent body, and the rays of light creeping through fluttering curtains. Van left the windows open again. She was lucky it was summer now. You could hear clanging downstairs along with old music and your partner humming along, singing now and then. You checked the old clock on her bedside which she insisted on you using (god knows why) and read the date it had plastered on it. It was a Saturday, meaning the shop would be relatively empty. A nice, slow day. That’s what you were in the mood for.

Begrudgingly, you get out of bed, feet hitting the cold wood floor below and sending a shiver through you. The summer breeze didn’t help with the goosebumps forming on your skin either. You were reminded that you were still naked from the night before, so you got up and got fresh clothes from your dresser to slip into. A pair of your underwear and one of Van’s old teeshirts that she’d left on the floor once again. You added on a pair of socks and trudged down the stairs, running a hand through your hair to somewhat freshen up as you rub at your eyes. The music has grown louder now and from the staircase, you can see Van humming away as she does last night's dishes. She's clad in a loose tank top and a pair of her old grey sweatpants.

She doesn’t hear you approach despite the creaking of the wooden stairs under you. That or she’s not paying mind to it having grown so used to the sound over the years. You approach her from behind, sleepily snaking your arms around her middle and resting your cheek against her shoulder with closed eyes. You hear her hum with comfort and she turns her head to kiss you. You move accordingly and receive a satisfying kiss on the corner of your mouth, your chin finding a perch on her shoulder. She reached towards the small radio on the windowsill above the sink to turn the music down.

“Well, someone’s still sleepy,” she murmured, a warm laugh bubbling in her voice. You sigh against her neck. You can smell her hair and her shampoo.

“You showered without me,” you comment, putting on a fake frown. Van murmured her apologies, tapping your hand to ask you to loosen up around her. You do and she turns in your arms, her hands finding your hips as you move yours around her neck.

“I can make up for it later,” she promises. You smile and nod without a word before puckering your lips comically while you squeeze your eyes shut tight. It has Van laughing nearly every time, but she can never resist and leans in, kissing you with her familiar sweetness and a warm squeeze to both your sides.

“Did you have breakfast?” Van shook her head.

“Just a bite of those donuts you got the other day,” You hummed, leaning forward and resting your cheek on her chest with closed, still sleepy eyes. She hugged you and you could feel her smile against the top of your head as she takes in a breath and lets go of a long sigh that has your hair fluttering. She rubs your back and you feel her start to sway with you. “Hey, don't fall asleep standing again. I’m not as fit as I used to be,” she whispered against your hairline. A scoff forced its way past your lips.

“Your making cancer jokes now?” your eyes parted open and you began running your fingertips over her collarbones, still swaying softly with her.

“It's how I normalize it. For both of us,” she hummed, turning her head so it was now her chin atop your head. She maneuvered the hand trailing over her skin to hers, entwining your fingers as you moved into a slow waltz-like pose. The hand on your shoulder moved down to the small of your back and you could tell by how she held you that she was relaxed with her eyes closed, listening to Mazzy Star and just enjoying holding you.

“I love you, Vanessa Palmer,” you murmured. She said nothing in response, only kissing your forehead and breathing in your smell. You didn’t often verbalize your love. Neither did Van. You both preferred showing your love for one another rather than telling. Small acts like swaying in your kitchen together were enough for the both of you. But, with the recent news, you felt the need for her to hear you say it.

You needed her to know for sure that she knew she was loved, even when she didn’t think so. And she knew she wasn’t obligated to say it back, because you knew. With every laugh, smile and touch you knew she loved you. You'd grown quiet in her arms you knew she could tell you were thinking about it too hard again. Her hand moved to your hip, thumb tracing over the seam of your top.

​​“Your shirt’s inside out,” she whispered, pulling you out of your head. You needed a change of subject and thought, which she knew and was not offering. You pulled your cheek from her and tilted your head with a smile, moving on.

“How do you know I didn’t do that on purpose” Van hummed and her brow raised.

“And why would you do that, I wonder?” you faked thought, eyes turning up to look in the sealing as you muttered in thought.

“I dunno. Maybe I wanted you to fix it for me,” you implied, looping your arms around her neck again to press you’re chest flush with her own. “Can you? Fix it for me? please…” you looked up at her through your eyelashes with a sly smile curling your lips. The redhead laughed and rolled her eyes as her hands found the inverted hem of your, well actually her shirt. You eagerly raised your arms as the shirt came over your head, ruffling up your hair as you were left clad in only your underwear, chest bare and clean for her. Of course, that's immediately where her eyes go before returning her gave to yours. There’s an eager amusement that sparkles in those blue eyes and you just have to laugh.

“You wanna put that back on?” you chuckle, reaching for the now correctly inverted shirt which is tightly gripped in her hand.

“No way. I like the view,” she wiggled her brows, throwing the shirt over her shoulder as she does with her dishtowel when she cooks.

“You saw them last night! And every night,” you scoff, crossing your arms, which only accentuates what she already likes and you know it.

“Oh, but I’ll never get enough, buttercup,” she says, whispering your nickname as a diversion. You’re cooing over her sweetness when she wraps her arms around you, lifting you onto the kitchen counter. Her nose finds the crook of her neck and she attacks your jaw, peppering up and down with kisses while she coped a feel of your exposed chest, all the while you giggle and laugh, making music in her ears. You manage to pull her away, face flushed warm to match her own and you look down upon her, your thumb tracing over the apple of her cheeks as you hold her jaw in your palms.

“What am I gonna do with you,” you mused fondly as she leaned into your comforting touch.

“Well I’ve got a couple of ideas,” she grazed her thumb over your nipple and you scrunch your nose with a smile, shaking your head.

“Alright. But at least take me back to bed,”

“Hmmm, gladly. Im still tired anyways,”