#vanessa palmer x reader

[happysparklingshadows]

A Certain Hunger (6/?)

Chapter 5 ✿ Chapter 7

Summary: Passion and fear go hand in hand. You find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place; you might as well enjoy yourself while you're here. Playing games and playing with fingers distract you from the looming dread that everyone and everything is falling apart. Your adult self is slipping back into old habits and fears, rediscovering how she used to listen through the trees.

Pairing: Surviving!Poly! Yellowjackets x reader (slow burn)

Warnings: Smut (18+), Angst, loss of virginity, the reader has sex against a tree after her weird trippy episode in the last chapter, Natalie finally puts the moves on the reader, Lowkey period sex but its chill, Natalie is a messy toxic 90s bisexual who is still figuring it out, Mentions of menstrual cycle, Mentions of stalking, the 90s setting with the views of the time, internalized homophobia, Mentions of body and body weight, the occult, and possession.

Word count: 18k (the longest so far and I am sorry if that is a turn off!)

Notes: Happy Season 3 premiere!! The title of the French chapter, "Friends on the Other Side," is for anyone who is wondering! All French will have translations at the bottom of the chapter. Happy to use my one year of college French for good use! I also have put this series on wattpad and Ao3, and made a playlist for this story if you wanted to check it out.

❀ A03 ❀ wattpad ❀ spotify playlist  ❀

‘96

🎵 This is how we do it 🎵

“One, two, one, two, three, four!”  Mari yells out with her fingers matching her words over the music. Everyone around you starts to jump and dance to the music, appreciating the little music you have heard in the last few months. 

🎵 This is how we do it  🎵

“Running Man, Running Man!” You all say as you wave your hands above your head to dance to the song from the MTV video. 

“Bart Simpson, Bart Simpson!” You stepped back as some of the girls stepped forward, smiles and giggles dancing around the air as you joyfully sang to Montell Jordan. You barely even notice the pinch in your neck as you giggle. Your eyes met with Misty, who meekly stood in the doorway and swayed to the music, too scared to join in but watched on. You all step back to the wall, bump into Laura Lee, and giggle, grabbing her hand that was reaching for yours with a shared laugh. 

“And Javi! Javi!” Mari giggles as she pulls the thirteen-year-old into the center to dance for everyone. You whistled to him with the others, encouraging him to dance. Seeing the shy kid come out of his shell a bit was sweet. This is the most you have seen him interact with the group, and it made your smile grow on your cheeks. 

“Designated driver, take the keys to my truck.” All of you sing and whip your hands outstretched in front of yourselves, like you were driving a car. “Hit the shore ‘cause I’m faded.” you all continued as you ran a hand over your eyes to cover them, turning to someone side yourselves. “Honey’s in the street say, “Monty, yo, we made it.” 

You gave up singing along as everyone took to their own rhythm and moved their bodies freely, your arms flailing above your head as you swayed your hips around. “It feels so good in my hood tonight. The summertime skirts and the guys in kani, All the gang bangers forgot about the drive-by-” 

The music weakly tries to continue but dies pathetically in the middle of the song. Everyone stilled in disappointment as Van walked to the walkman with a grumbled damn it. 

The room filled with panting of the girls, yours being one of them, as you felt your chest heave, breathe in like a suffocating person, “What happened?” Jackie asked Van from beside you. 

“I don’t know,” Van grumbles again, frustrated about the death of her beloved Walkman as she slaps the box. “Oh, no. Has hitting something ever fixed it?” 

“M-Maybe try blowing on it?” Mari says, coming closer to the girls and circling the box. 

Creak. Creaaakk.   

“The fuck is that?” Mari asks the group. 

“Hey, you heard it too?” Lottie asks the group quietly as she looks around the room, 

“It was probably just a branch.” Taissa reasoned, unimpressed, with her hands on her hips, stoic as ever. 

“Inside, on the floor?” Mari asked her with wide eyes. She was floored by any explanation other than a ghost. “What if it’s... him?”

“What, the dead guy?” Shauna asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Um, yeah,” Mari grumbled. 

“You know what it probably was? The dead guy’s missing fingers trying to crawl their way home.” Natalie smirked as she spoke, trying to scare everyone mischievously. Akilah slaps Natalie’s chest at the joke. Everyone jeers on at Natalie and some tell her to shut up for even joking. You laughed at her joke even though you shouldn’t, you couldn’t help it. 

“You really have to encourage them?” Taissa sighs. 

“You got to admit, it didn’t sound like it was on the roof.” Akilah says to Taissa with a worried wrinkle on her brow. 

Jackie reasoned, “Fine, then it was a rat, or a raccoon, or something. I don’t know, it-.” 

“Shh!” Lottie interrupted, looking up to the ceiling, trying to listen in on whatever was up in the attic. 

“Oh my god.” Taissa completely deflates her arms and turns to her makeshift bed shoved into the corner 

“Shh. Listen, " Lottie says, focusing on what she hears.

 You all wait for something to happen, but nothing does. 

“Well, I don’t hear it now.” Mari broke the silence.  

“See?’ Taissa jeered with a smirk, she laid her blanket on the ground. 

“Alright. Alright. You know what I think it was? I think the ghost decided it was time to get some sleep. And we should probably do the same, yeah?” Coach Ben reasons. 

Everyone whined and booed at Coach Ben, but everyone started to lay out their beds on the floor. Some were whispering in the corner of the room like Misty and Krystal about the ghost upstairs, but the cabin's ground floor came to a lull and was peacefu when everyone fell asleep.

You lay down, sandwiched between Jackie and Shauna, staring up at the ceiling. 

Your period was heavy this month for some reason. Your cycle has been all messed up since the crash, and it was beginning to become normal again. Your first month in the woods, you were so anxious for when your period would start, only for it never to come as the others all started around you. You and Shauna both snickered at the blessing of not having your periods before getting rescued. The next one was surprisingly light and quick, only lasting three days, it was a dark pink and watery red spotting, but as you lay in your makeshift bed, you were on the fifth day of heavy, deep red. It was your first real period in the woods, and your body made sure you paid the price for having some peace in your womb by giving you extremely painful cramps and nausea that would sneak up on you in the hot August sun.  You used 6 of the makeshift pads yesterday and felt embarrassed, especially because you had to make a new one almost every time you needed a new one. The makeshift pads were made from shirts and stuffing from one of Travis’s orange puffer jackets, which he packed and offered up instead of Laura Lee’s bear. When everyone was having a discussion, and the girls talked about how they were going to make the pads, everyone looked over to the brown bear lying on Laura’s blanket. Travis offered his coat, saying his mom made him pack the stupid coat that he never wore and might be best used for stuffing our pads. It shocked you. You didn’t realize he had the ability to have empath after all his assholey comments, but it was making you see the guy in a better light slowly. But after he offered it, he demanded never to be informed about our periods again and stormed out of the cabin while Ben chuckled and Javi was mortified. Thankfully, it seemed to mellow out within the last day, and you were hoping your period would completely calm down before tomorrow. 

The cabin's ceiling had dust stains and caked-on cobwebs that had been built upon themselves for years stare back down at your tiredness. Your legs twitched under your blanket, you felt your heart pounding in your chest somehow. Your mind was numb and thoughtless as you felt the fuzzy fabric of your mother's handmade blanket caress your legs. The hours went by with no sleep in sight for you. You sat up quietly and looked around at the others to see if anyone was still awake. You couldn’t find anyone as you tried to stand up without a sound, you crept to the door and to the pile of shoes everyone had left. You slipped on your shoes and hugged your blanket around your shoulders.

You open the door a little to sliver so it won’t groan, and so you won’t wake the others. After you slip through the crack, you close it behind you. The cold summer air hits you first as you start walking aimlessly. 

It was dangerous. It was dark, and you got confused last time. 

At least, that's what you like to believe and what others think as well. They believed you were dehydrated and got confused, and they decided it was no longer okay for you to go out on your own because they believed that your weight loss could be the main reason. You wanted to fight back against them, but you were two sizes smaller than before the crash almost four months ago, and it concerned Jackie and Shauna the most. But, something within you couldn’t fully believe it was just because of you. You are the smartest student at your school, scored the highest on the ACT, and were supposed to go to NYU in September. And somehow, the others look to you for guidance in the wilderness like a leader. You knew you were of sound mind, and you wouldn’t have imagined a tree creature watching you, or not noticing a significant amount of hours passing. It was something else. 

You didn’t want to think about the tree woman again, you didn’t want to think that day even happened. You made sure to skip that day in your journal. As you have for most days after that scary one, except to log your period and take notes of the food everyone got in the day. You felt depressed as your period came with an almost bored feeling lording over your head all day. 

You continue to walk on, you decide to turn left at the fork in the path towards the poop bucket cliff, and you hear the tree whistle beside you. It was calming you down. You didn’t feel the fear of the forest anymore because you hadn’t seen the creature yet, and you hadn’t felt the energy that you had that day either since. 

It became your escape once again. Away from the others momentarily and to feel your feelings away from your friends' prying eyes. You loved your friends, the first- and second-year students, and their coach over the time you have been out here, but they can be overwhelming with their questions and concerns. You knew they couldn’t help that they didn’t have wilderness survival drilled into their heads since they were kids, and they couldn’t help being nervous about the things they didn’t understand. But you wanted to sometimes scream at their immaturity and recklessness. 

The chill in the air woke you up as you came closer to the bluff cliff of the mountain, and looked up to the sky. You look down at your feet anxiously, thinking you might fall over even though you stood 6 feet away from the drop-off, and you sit down on a smooth rock you had become fond of when you had poop duty. The rock was at the base of a tree and was big enough to be a seat. 

You look up at the clear night sky, littered with stars and a full moon lighting up the night. You take a deep breath of the clean, crisp air, a breeze from the top of the mountain. You can hear the whole forest where you sit, and it makes you feel so peaceful and safe. The water from the lake, the feet of small animals crawling up the trees, the berries and leaves dancing in the bushes, and the branches breathing beside you. 

You couldn’t help but grasp the fuzzy blanket closer as the thought of your mom came to mind. Your lip pursed, but no tears came to your eyes. “I hope Mom is looking at this moon. She would love how bright it is, " you thought as you relaxed more on the cold rock. “Dad would love the view… Dad would be proud of me, I think. I have gone good so far.” 

A smile came to your lips as you knew what you thought was right. You have done well as a group so far, and it was all thanks to your father. You knew that you would be thanking him so much if you were saved. 

If you were saved.

It grossed you out to even think about the possibility you all wouldn’t be found in time. The cold breezes of the summer make you think of the colder and harsher months ahead when food will become rare. What if you all starve to death, get the flu and die from lack of vitamins, or fall asleep without a fire in the fireplace on accident? You had to push those thoughts to the back of your mind for later days, as for now, you try to relax on your rock. Hoping that maybe tonight was the night a plane or helicopter would fly by. 

You look up to the clear sky at the stars that shine for what seems like only for you. The moon was almost half the sky from your angle on the mountain. It was like looking at the proof of a god because nothing could just be that beautiful and serene. 

Snap!

You turn your head to the side and see Taissa standing there with a blank expression, which startles you. 

“Oh! Taiss-” 

“Find her,” Taissa rasped, her eyes staring past yours. Her voice didn’t seem like her own as she stepped closer. Under the moonlight, her eyes almost looked red. 

“What?” You asked as you stood up from the rock, a little scared at how quickly she approached you. 

“Find her,” she repeated as a smile started to curl on the corners of her lips

“Taissa? What are you saying? Why are you here?” You sternly said as you stepped back out of confusion, why was she here? How did she know you were here? 

“Uh—” Taissa blinks, and slowly, her face becomes hers again. She rubs her eyes. “I don’t—sorry, I am half asleep. I saw you weren’t in the cabin and got worried.” 

“Oh—” you say as you look over her in concern. It doesn’t make sense why she would know you were here. “Oh, okay! It’s okay! I couldn’t sleep.” 

“Sorry, I don’t know. I fell asleep while I was looking for you! That was crazy!” Taissa chuckled, pulling her hand out to lead you back to the cabin. “Let’s go back to bed. It’s cold out here,” she added. There was dirt caked underneath her fingernails and her cuticles, it made you pause before you took her hand. But you took it so as not to cause a scene, just wanting to leave the situation and get back to your bed. 

“Okay, let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted,” you sigh as you look at Taissa. You can’t help but ask, “How did you know I was here?” 

“I hear you.” 

“I didn’t do anything.” 

“I don’t know. I heard you breathing,” Taissa said as she looked down at her shoes, not even knowing her answer and how she knew you were there. 

You didn’t notice the symbol carved on the back of the tree, on the opposite side of where you were leaning your back, dripped sap onto the ground as you walked past it. 

You woke up later than normal today as the sunlight shined right into your eyes. The others must have given you a break. You give yourself a moment of peace as you stare at the ceiling. Your body felt achy and unwell, your inner thighs sticky and wet with sweat, and you softly became aware of the dull pain coming from deep in your stomach. When you finally pulled yourself from the ground and stood up, you noticed the only other person still lying down was Jackie. People would have tried to wake her up, but she had lied back down. “Lazy Jackie,” you think to yourself as you loom over Jackie’s lying body on the ground. You couldn’t help but chuckle, softly lift your leg, and shake her shoulder with your foot. 

“Jackie.” You say to her like a lure, only to have Jackie groan in response and not move. “Come on, wake up.” 

Jackie cuddles her blanket to her shoulders and groans, “I’m so cold.”

You look down at her with an unimpressed purse of your lips, and she rolls onto her back with a grimace of pain, “I have cramps.” 

“No, duh, Jackie. We’re all cramping; we’re all synced up, and Mari has Endo, so you don’t have any excuses, princess.” You say as you kick her shoulder again, and she groans loudly again. But she reluctantly sits up as you watch her. She yawns. You pat her shoulder and smile, “Shouldn’t be too much work today, just keeping up.” 

You and Jackie get dressed for the day, and she comments on how the two of you should match, to which you agree wholeheartedly. Jackie and you were as close as you used to be in the wilderness. Jackie would always find her way back to you in the forest fishing to sit and talk. 

Despite the circumstances, you were so relieved to know Jackie still sees you as her sandbox friend as you did, and even more so now than ever have the two of you relied on each other with Shauna. 

Your overpacking for the trip was such a blessing in disguise, and your body insecurity, making you have many changes of clothes, benefited you by having almost a new pair of clothes every day. But it always bit you in the ass when it was your time to do laundry, and you had to carry all your weight clothes on an incline—multiple times. 

“Hey, do you want to wear your blue shirt? Match with me?” Jackie says as she starts to button up her blue and white-striped button-up. She looks at the blue shirt you wore yesterday, lying on top of your luggage or, lately, your dresser, and then over to you as you pull your pajamas over your head. 

“I can’t. It’s dirty. I only have my butterfly shirt and my cardigan clean, " you replied, shaking your head softly. Then, you pulled your shorts off your legs. 

“Why are you wearing a cardigan? It’s like 100 degrees outside.” Jackie snickered as she struggled with a button, looking at you humorously. 

You felt a small wave of insecurity come over you. You had a habit of wearing long sleeves to hide your arms. You didn’t like the idea that someone could see your chubby arm jiggle when you simply grabbed something, but you were sweating like a pig because it was 100 degrees outside. “I don’t like my arms, " you answered your best friend as you looked at your feet for a second out of embarrassment. You continue to pull up your jean shorts from your ankles as you wrap the belt around your waist. 

Jackie didn’t say anything for a moment as she looked you over softly with her buggy brown eyes, and she always hated when you put yourself down for being fat but she wasn’t going to disagree when it was about your feelings about your body. She was always mindful about that.

“I don’t see why you have to overheat; you have limps on the side of your body like everyone else. But the sweater is cute, so I will let off easy this one time for not matching with me this one time, okay.”

You just shake your head jokingly and narrow your eyes, “Other people have arms too?” 

She rolls her eyes at you as she finally finishes her shirt. “Oh, haha. You know what I was trying to say.”

“Yeah, whatever.” You giggle as you nudge Jackie’s shoulder, and she returns the giggle with you as you both leave the cabin.

You were stopped by Alilah making a makeshift pad. She sits infront of the fire with the hunting knife in her hands, two of your big pots hang from their hooks on the fireplace crane. 

“Hey!” Alilah says with a smile sent both of your ways, pointing the knife to the two pots, one an orangeish brown and the other a deep red, “Bloody Soldiers on the left and breakfast on the right, okay! Don’t mess them up, like Travis did.” Aliliah finished by turning her head to the boy behind her eating his breakfast. 

“Okay, you guys are disgusting. I’m-” Travis cringed, getting up from his tree trunk. 

“Shut up,” Aliliah replied softly with a chuckling shake of her head. 

“Yeah, shut up, dork. You’re the one who wanted to eat the red one, " you say to Travis with a soft eye roll. You were growing to not hate the guy, but he somehow still got on your nerves. 

“Whatever.” Travis says as he storms off to the cabin, passing by you. You felt the wind swirl from his movements away from your standing body. 

You smile at Alilah and the other girls; Mari stops Jackie beside you, thrusting a bucket in her hands. “How about getting some more water? Breakfast isn’t going anywhere.” 

Jackie stood stunned by Mari and looked on with an open mouth. She looked over to you for an answer. You felt satisfied that Jackie had finally been called out for not helping out, but you didn’t like the feeling of her sad brown eyes looking at you. 

“Okay, a little bitchy Mari, but yeah, Jackie, go get some water and your morning walk in.” You say it with a smile, sending Mari a sharp look but a smile to Jackie. “You can help Laura Lee with laundry today and get your feet in the water.” You offered Jackie with a soft voice to lure her into trying it out.  

“Okay,” Jackie grumbled, a pout on her lips as she walked away towards the lake. 

You felt yourself pause at the fact that Jackie wasn’t pulling her own weight, as she hasn’t your whole friendship, and that she is becoming increasingly lazy as the days drag on. You didn’t want to act like you were doing favoritism and make the others jealous, but you couldn’t bring yourself to scold Jackie, at least on your own. You look down to see Shauna staring off where Jackie walked away from, and her eyes slowly traveling to yours. Your eyes communicated the same thing; something needed to be said before it became a bigger problem. 

“Here,” Shauna mumbled as she handed you her mug of water. You took a big gulp of it without question. The summer heat was getting to you already this early in the day, and you panted softly as you took the mug from your lips. 

“Thank you, Shauna.” You cheer down to her with a smile, then turn to the others around the cabin doing odd jobs like cutting the firewood, eating, or hanging clothes on the clothing line. 

“Hey Guys! Good Morning!” You say out to everyone with a big wave of your hand. You look over to everyone, giving you their complete attention. Misty is already raising her hand to ask a question. “Cleaners and Cooks, you are off the hook today! Um, if you have any time, try to find some mud or clay to patch up the crack in the window! And cooks, keep smoking out the jerky; it needs to be completely dry before we can eat it!” 

“(Y/n)?” Misty asks politely as she lightly lowers her hand as your eyes meet hers. 

“Yes, Misty?” 

“I was hoping I could go out and forage today to find some more medicine for our periods, and Ben-” 

There was loud snickering in the corner of Mari, Alilah, and Marlissa, and you looked at them with a sharp eye for a moment. 

“Have something to add, Mari?” 

Mari looks at you with wide eyes for a moment in shock. You would call her out for the second time this morning: “No, but Misty is trying to make a love potion or something!” 

“I am not!” Misty flushes with a deep red on her cheeks, her voice laced with shame and embarrassment. It wasn’t the first time Misty was shut down for her requests or mocked for simply standing around, you have grown tired of the bullying Misty has been put through out here. 

“Okay, so, you're going to make fun of her for trying to find some pain relief while we are all on our periods, Mari?” 

“Well-” 

“You’re going to be real happy when Misty finds something that can smooth out your endometriosis, but you just fine making fun of her in the meantime?” You lecture as you talk with your hands and slap them to your sides as you add, “It’s pointless, why say that?” 

“(Y/n), I wasn’t trying to say anything like that-” 

“Mari. We are all in the same boat. Misty is here with us, and I am happy she is here because all she does is try to help out, as much as anyone else, and she cares. She is the reason some of us are even still alive.” You say to Mari with almost a stoic brow that you felt you had authority over the girls and needed to use it for the team's betterment. Infighting will only cause more unneeded tension. You turn your face from the almost crying Mari, ashamed underclassmen around her, then to Misty.

Misty looks on at you in awe, a creeping smile on her face, awkward, and pushes her glasses closer to her face. The flush on her cheeks didn’t go away with time.

“Misty, do whatever you think is necessary. " You turn your head back to the group, now looking to the ground. “You all will go with her for safety and to build empathy. It seems to be the wilderness skill you all lack.” 

“But-” Mari stammered with a soft pout of disgust on her lips. 

“What?” You ask her softly, you're eyebrow-raising without your control. You could hear a snickering behind you; you knew Van and Shauna were watching you control the underclassmen with amusement. They always remembered you as someone who was too nice, and seeing you talk sternly yet sweetly to the younger girls made them want to laugh. You didn’t stop the snickering from behind you as a smirk softly tried to come to your lips. It was Mari’s own karma. 

“Nothing. Fine.” Mari says as she looks to the ground. 

“Okay, great, happy to get that sorted.” You say with a sigh, your hands on your hips, and you look behind yourself to Shauna and Van, trying not to laugh when your eyes meet their amused ones. “Alright, Natalie and I will go mapping until noon. Then, Natalie will go hunting with Travis. Javi, I want you to go wood cutting with Taissa, and Taissa, I want you to look out for any tracks.” 

Taissa nods her head at you with a smile when your eyes meet. She sits across from Van now as she eats her breakfast gruel.

Laura Lee raises her hand softly, “May I speak?” 

“Of course.” 

“Is anyone going to look at the plane? You know, see if it could work. Or use the radio to communicate with someone to rescue us.” 

You pale slightly at the thought of returning to the old passenger plane. You said, “I don’t know if it’s safe, but if you felt like you needed to check, go for it. Please don’t try to start it or go inside of it too much. Read the book if you want.”

Laura Lee smiled and nodded her head, “Already on it.” 

You smile back, “Okay, just don’t hurt yourself.” 

“God willing.” Laura Lee agreed with an earnestness that made you smile more. 

“Okay. Alright, is there anything else? Except mending clothes and cleaning our rags?” You ask the group as Jackie struggles behind you with the bucket full of water. No one had anything else to add so the morning announcement ending unceremoniously.

“Fuck.” Jackie gasped from behind you as she leaned over the bucket. Van and Taissa share sharp looks of annoyance at Jackie’s panting, just proving their thoughts about Jackie being lazy. It made you feel bad as you didn’t know what to do. You sent her to do her chores, and she could barely do them. Everyone looked to you to correct her, but you didn’t even know how to confront those thoughts.

Shauna stands up, notices the looks, and comes to Jackie’s on a mission: “Hey, do you need a hand?” 

“No, it’s okay.” Jackie sighed. “I got it.”

Jackie flexed her aching wrist as you approached the conversation with your best friends, “Why are you so chipper? Don’t you have a blood sacrifice between your legs like the rest of us?” Jackie asked Shauna with a soft concern in her eyes as she rubbed her wrist. You turn your head to Shauna with your head tilted a little, and the memory of her not having a period with you the first month comes to mind. 

“Um, I’m late this month,” Shauna replied quickly. “Uh, we were in a plane crash. It’s probably just stress.” 

You nod your head beside Jackie as you accept her response. “I didn’t even have a period our first month, but it came back, it’s kicking my ass now.” 

“Yeah, lucky you’re a virgin or we’d really have to worry.’ Jackie chuckles as she smiles at Shauna and yourself, leaning down to get the bucket. “Anyways, enjoy it while it lasts, I guess. This rag situation is a fucking horror show.”  

“I know! I had to make myself 6 two days ago because I couldn’t stop bleeding. I wanted to die!” You joke to Jackie as she walks to the cabin to put up the water, Jackie laughs with a snort as she struggles away. You turn your head to Shauna to see if she thought it was funny too only to see her staring blankly at Jackie’s back. 

“Hey, you okay, Shauna?” You ask her with your hand coming to her shoulder. 

She tried to smile as pushed your hand away, “Yeah. I just have to get some water.”

She walks away as Van approaches you. You don’t even get to move an inch as Van comes over to you and says, “Hey, can I help you go fishing today? I wanted to give it a try on the pole.” 

You laugh softly, “What? But, yeah okay! You can come whenever you want you don’t have to ask, Van!” 

“Well, I just wanted to make sure you wanted to hang out with me for a while.” 

“Of course, Van, you're my friend.” You smile and touch her arm softly, and you can see Taissa looking at the two of you talking. “I can tell you all my secrets now.” 

“Oh, (Y/n), has secrets? I didn’t think you could keep a secret.” 

“What do you even mean by that?” You question with a smile on your lips and a chuckle in your voice.

“I don’t know, how about when we were smoking in the back of the cabin, and you told everyone you have little stories about Vampires.” 

You blush in embarrassment, “Oh my god, Shut up, please!” 

Van laughs as Taissa walks by you two with five cut logs for firewood. As she passes, she says, “Hey, I just beat your record.”  

“What?” 

“I carried more than four logs of wood!” Taissa stuck her tongue out to you as she snickered. She’s mentioning the logs you were carrying when you found them kissing. 

“Oh, what the fuck ever!” You laugh at everyone and turn your back to walk away to go to the bathroom.   

‘21

You: Callie is home now. But yeah, she slept over my house because she was having some friend drama.  Shauna: Did she tell you what it was about? You: Not really, and to be honest its very petty stuff.  You: Some girl is talking about how Callie is being fake for being nice to her even though she is friends with her boyfriends ex  Shauna: Okay, that makes me feel better but I wished you had called me You: Callie came into the house screaming and upset, and we talked for hours and by time I could call you I knocked out You: I’m old now Shauna: We’re the same age!  You: We’r so old  Shauna: *We’re  You: fuck you Shauna: whatever loser You: Callie picked out my outfit for the romance convention  You: and the reunion You: She found my New York clothes Shauna: Oh she found the good stuff Shauna: You’re going to the reunion? You: Are you? You: I don’t know if I can go if you don’t. I don’t want to be the only one there, you know.  Shauna: Are you going to brunch?

You pause as you read your text. God, it’s almost Jackie’s 43rd birthday. 

You put your phone down on your lap as you sit in the driver's seat of your car. You wanted to text Shauna when you dropped off Callie. You were getting ready to leave after making Callie lunch when you got a call from Misty. You couldn’t help but sigh a little when you saw her call you again, making it about 10 times since you left the car with her—after impulsivity, eating her out in her driver’s seat. You knew she meant well, and she was lonely. She couldn’t help how creepy she came off as.

She told you to meet up with her at Natalie's hotel, which you told her you couldn’t go to because of how tense it was between you two last time. 

Misty asked again, promising it was only to figure out what had happened to Travis. The guilt in your stomach didn’t let you disagree that you owed Travis this, even if you knew there was no killer deep down. It was himself. He couldn’t take it anymore. You couldn’t blame him. You remember how much you hated him at first, and how he grew to be a friend out there in the woods. You remember a lot about him you wish to forget, but some you hold dear. He was gentle when it counted. 

So, You turn towards Natalies, and with your luck, you got there before Misty. You knew you needed to face Natalie again and be honest about how you were far too brutal with her the last time you spoke. 

You kiss your teeth, reapply lip gloss, and slap your mirror shut. You hated it when you were in drama with them. 

You knock on her door politely as you have your emotions under control. 

Natalie opens the door with narrow eyes and sharply asks, “What are you doing here?”

“Misty told me we needed to meet for something related to Travis.” You pause and try to smile at her. Then you ask, “How are you holding up?” 

“Why are you here?” 

You tilt your head and feel confused yourself, “I guess because I want to get answers to what you were right about. And also, because I didn’t like how we last spoke.”

Natalie leaned on her door and looked deeply at you. She knew you were being honest, "Like it always does.” 

You shrug as her words bring back many memories—before the crash, in the woods, and after—good moments and bad. “Well, I will always love you even if I can’t be there for you. I am here now. I want to support you and Travis, " you say to her and smile again. This one came from something deeper in you than just this moment. 

She gives you a smile back. Maybe the cycle you shared with her wasn’t healthy, but none of your relationships were. She opens the door to let you in, and you take a seat on her bed without question.

She just stands there and looks at you with pursed lips like Natalie is trying to find words for you. “I hope you know I get why you did go with Misty. I just didn’t know how to respond to it all.” 

“It’s okay, I was just really testy that day for some reason. I saw my dad and it just- yeah, I’m sorry for being so hurtful but someone was lurking to get you to spill.” 

“You know I can handle myself.” 

“I know. But, I didn’t know if she would be asking about Travis, not the wilderness.” You say to her as you look at your lap and play with your fingers to soothe the small shake. “I didn’t know if you could talk about him with someone looking for answers. I wanted to protect you.” 

“Protect my feelings?” Natalie asked, raising her eyebrow mockingly. “You know where that led you before, (y/n). Be careful.” 

You chuckle darkly with a shake of your head. Fucking bitch. 

“Okay, will do, my queen.” You smirked with your mock back to her. You didn’t need Natalie of all people, to tell you about your habit of overweighing others over yourself. 

There was a knock at the door. It was in Morse code. 

“ I told you we didn’t need a code.” Natalie spat as she opened the hotel door for Misty. 

“I’ve got good news and bad news.” Misty cheers as she hands Natalie a pink present with green tissue on the top. Walking inside of the room. 

“Which one is this?” 

“No, open it,” Misty says. She turns in the motel room, smiles as she sees you sitting on the bed, and waves to you. You think she is excited to be inside Natalie’s room finally. You smile back and wave, telling her you and Natalie are alright now. “It’s an Aroma Diffuser. Ylang-ylang with a hint of gardenia, subtropical florals are very, very uplifting.”

Natalie opens the box as Misty speaks. She looks over the owl diffuser and then at you as you watch the women walk around the room. Misty is indifferent to Natalie opening the present and looks around the room curiously. She opens a little file to see what is inside. “Good to know. What’s the bad news?” 

“Well, uh, my contact can access the files, but he’s a bit of a D-bag.” 

“Who is this person, exactly?” Natalie asked as she looked over Misty’s body. 

“We only know each other by our Citizen Detective chat handles. He’s mad at me because I didn’t tell him it was a police file,” She paused to push up her glasses, “so now he wants to meet in public to ‘discuss’ the terms of the exchange.” 

Natalie looks at you quickly, the two of you share a look for a millisecond as you both process the information. “Oh, we’ll meet all right.” Natalie chuckles. 

“Is that going to work, Nat?” You ask as you loom over Natalie’s crouching figure; she is siphoning gas from a car outside the chinese restaurant. Misty anxiously standing beside you as the both of you try to hide Natalie’s body from onlookers. 

“I mean, most restaurants won’t let you bring in drinks or food or anything." Misty adds as she hands Natalie the mobile coffee cup. As she inserts the tube to fill it, Natalie spits the little that got into her mouth. 

“I don’t know, you tell me, guys.” Natalie says to both of you as she fulls up the cup. “I’ve still got that rifle in the truck.” 

“Well, I don’t know how we’d get that into the restaurant,” Misty asks, disappointed that she hasn't figured out why the gun should be used instead. You pale at the thought of the gun. Natalie sighs. 

The three of you walk into the restaurant with a swayer you haven’t felt in years, maybe since you were a young woman clubbing in New York. The restaurant was lit in red and held tiny lanterns on the ceiling of the place, divers between every table. You find a single man sitting alone at a table. 

You smile as you approach the table and sit beside the man with the cup in your hands. You say in your best sexy voice to the man with a ponytail, “Stallion99?”

“African Gray?” He asks you back as he looks at the two other women across the table. 

“Yeah, that's her.” You point to him carelessly to Misty as you smile wider, his eyes lock into yours and back to Misty, then back to yours and a glance down to your breasts. 

“I’m African gray, " Misty said as she looked at the two of you. You let your hand snake on his shoulder with a soft squeeze. 

“I…” He looked flustered at you, then glanced back at Misty and said, “I didn’t authorize anyone else to come to this meeting.” He whispered to Misty, leaning over the table slightly so she could hear him. Your hand ran to the back of his neck, and you saw the touch-starved goosebumps on his skin prickle. 

“Well, cool out. I can vouch for them.” Misty whispered hissed back to him as she tried to look cool in front of Natalie and yourself. 

“Oh my god. Just tell us what you want.” Natalie sighs as she stares the man down. 

“I want in.” 

You laugh out loud, out of control, looking at him with raised eyebrows and a mocking smirk. It unsettled the man, and the other people in the restaurant, but the two other women looked just as amused.  Who, in their right mind, would want to be with the yellowjackets? 

“On what?” 

“You operation. The stiff in this file, I looked him up, and he doesn’t exist.” 

“No shit, ‘cause he’s dead. And he’s none of your goddamn business. So you should just give us the file to look after it.” Natalie slowly spoke. You knew her threat was deep as you looked over at the man. He’s not taking it seriously. Your finger playfully unscrews the cap of the coffee mug. 

“What’s it worth to you?” 

“You have no idea.” You giggle a little when you slowly pour out the gas onto his crouch, wetting his pants. He reacts quickly, trying to stop the pouring with a grunt, “What the hell?” 

“If the question is, “Is me lighting your dick on fire and going to jail worth me getting my hands on that file’” Natalie says as she pulls out her lighter and lights it without hesitation. She stares him down from across the table with her sharp blue eyes. 

“You guys are fucking crazy! Here!” he pulls a flash drive out of his breast pocket and gives it to Natalie, you pull away from him in the booth. Natalie and Misty quickly get up and start to leave. You do the say and send the man a quick, “Sorry, it’s really important!” as you rush behind the girls—a small giggle in your throat. 

“You should ask that guy out. You two have so much in common,” Natalie chuckles jokingly to Misty. Her eyes find you quickly as you laugh a little with the two women. Misty scoffs beside you two with a shake of her head, and you can’t help but giggle a little at her face.

‘96

You walk peacefully beside Natalie through the greenery, looking up at the leaves above you. Natalie looks down at her shoes as she adjusts the rifle strap. She looks around for tracks, but she is still learning them. 

“Natalie?” you ask as you look at the blonde bottle. You have felt nervous whenever you have been around her lately. You felt your heart beat hard against your chest, and you could feel a little lump form in your throat.

“Yeah?” 

“Have you ever gone camping before all this?”  

Natalie chuckled and shook her head, amused. “With my big happy family, we always go camping at national parks every summer.” She darkly jokes with a rasp you only heard when she was trying to be tough. You felt like she was mocking you a little bit as you felt your eyebrow furrow and realized she was technically talking about you and your family before you could speak. “Shit, sorry, I wasn’t making fun of you, I was trying to joke about my own fucked up family.” 

“I didn’t think you meant it.” You reassure her as you look at her with round eyes, trying not to have her hurt feelings. You felt so better and not offended after seeing Natalie try to fix her fuck up. 

“You don’t have to lie for my sake.” Natalie stops walking and looks at you with hurt eyes. Her blue eyes, looking into yours, melting your heart. 

“I’m not, I just give you the benefit of the doubt, I know you wouldn’t hurt my feelings on purpose. You were just being sarcastic.” You smile again and touch her arm to reassure her that her comment didn’t hurt your feelings deeply.

Natalie looked over your face slowly, as if she couldn’t trust your response. “Why are you so nice? I know I didn’t mean it, but it sounded like I was talking shit about you. You know you can be a bitch to me, right?” 

You chuckle, and a smile grows as you shrug, “Natalie, why would I do that?”

“I don’t know! Just don’t let me walk all over you, it pisses me off.” She says with a raised eyebrow, she just looks over at you in a judgemental way. 

You raise your eyebrow at the energy of her getting cagey with you being kind to her, you let your lips purse as you say to her, “I’m not letting you walk all over me. I am just being a good friend. I know you, Natalie, so you weren’t trying to put me down. Just drop it if you are going to be weird.” 

“You know what? Let's be honest since we’re stuck out here and have all the time in the world. What's the game?” Natalie asked you with narrowed eyes, resting her hand on her hip. She was studying you, and she didn’t trust what she saw. 

“What game?” you ask, offended. “Why are you giving me the fifth degree for asking if you ever went camping?” 

“I’m not. I just don’t know how you can be so nice when there isn’t any reason for it. I don’t trust it.” 

“What the fuck, Natalie?!” You yelled as your eyes widened in shock. You take a step back from her and look her over. What happened to the girl you would flirt with? “I can’t be myself without you acting like I am pretending! I don’t understand-”

“It’s not normal for people to be this kind without getting something it. For, like, the first year of our friendship, I thought you were being fake.” 

You felt your heart sink into your stomach and your throat dry up. You wanted to cry but you were so overwhelmed with how Natalie was talking to you, “I don’t-”

“I’m not trying to be mean, I’m being honest. You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met, and I don’t know if it’s real or if I’m the messed up one for not knowing people could be so nice.” Natalie says, her voice softer as she continues to speak. Her eyes were looking straight into yours, and you wanted to explode with all the emotions going through your body. “I never went camping, by the way. I have slept outside before because my parents locked the doors. I slept outside in my trailer’s shed.”

You paused as you looked at her in sadness. “I didn’t mean to bring up something sad for you.” 

“Almost everything about me is sad compared to you,” Natalie replied, looking at your face softly. You couldn’t describe the air around you two at this moment. 

“I don’t think so.” You mumble out as you take a step back, and your back hits a tree. You keep your eyes locked onto Natalie’s for a moment as you try to think. “I think you’re one of the coolest person here.” 

Natalie smirked softly as she took a step forward. “Oh yeah? Well, I think you’re the prettiest. And the sweetest.” 

You blush at those words and shy away as if trying to understand why she would say that. 

Before you can react, Natalie’s hand cups your cheek to face her again, and she leans down to kiss you against the tree. Her other hand planted against the tree's bark and caged you into the kiss. 

You couldn’t help but let your body answer for you as your hand came to the back of her bottle blonde hair, pushing her closer to your body. 

Your body arches against the tree, and when Natalie lays a hand on your cheek and onto your left breast, a soft moan comes out of your throat out of excitement. Your body delights in her caresses as you let her tongue enter your mouth. 

Her hands softly rub against the fabric of your shirt and bra, and your nipple hardens under her touch. Her fingers knowingly pinch the tent made under her touch as she raspily chuckles, “You like me touching you like this?” 

“Y-yeah.” You stutter as you pull her into another kiss. The hot summer sun made your skin sticky as you touched each other but it didn’t stop your lust from taking over your mind. “I’ve thought about this a million times.” You say in between kisses as you feel Natalie slide her hand down from your breast over your plush stomach, to your pants button. 

Your mind went blind in confusion and passion. You didn’t understand why you two were dry-humping against a tree; nothing you had discussed before made the events happen. Nothing this morning hinted at this possibility. 

You moan loudly as Natalie pushes her hand down your pants and pushes your underwear under her fingers, her fingers gently rubbing in circles on your clit. You groan as you instinctually roll your hips against her touch.  

Natalie shushes you quietly in your ear, her hand gently goes down until her two fingers enter your greedy cunt. She thrust her fingers into you recklessly and viciously. “That’s right, good girl, take it from me.” She whispers darkly into your ear as you try to bite your lip to hold in your screams. 

Ah. Ah. Ah~ 

You couldn’t help yourself as you let your sexual frustrations completely melt away with each delicious thrust, you felt your shirt pulled up to your neck and Natalie’s needy hands recklessly grabbing your bra away from your breast. Her lips attached themselves hungrily to your hardened nipple as she owned it as she harshly sucked onto the tender flesh. 

You let out a muffled scream into your hands as you trembled under her touch, as an orgasm rips through you. Your eyes close tight as your thighs shake violently when Natalie doesn’t relent her thrusting fingers, Natalie chuckles softly as she looks up at your pleasureful face, “Good, good girl, cum on me, that’s right.” She whispers as she rubs her free hand on your thigh, touching the bare flesh in reverence. 

You pant as you slowly look down at her, and you pull her into another kiss. This one felt romantic and blissful, like you had always imagined with Natalie.

You let your hand caress down her shoulder to her chest, until you got to her pants button. You wanted to do to her what she did to you. But as your finger starts to pull her shirt from under her jean shorts, however, her hand softly pushes yours away. 

As you pull away with a smile on your lips, you notice the slight drop in Natalies. 

It made your heart drop. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask as you caress Natalie’s cheek. You leaned against the tree for a moment to support your almost jelly-like legs. 

“I, uh,” Natalie stumbles as she took a step back. She wipes her hand of you, a clear slick with a pink tint to it, on her shorts and looks at the unbuttoned fly of your pants. There was an almost panic in her eyes, “I like Travis.” she blurted out to you. Your high instantly sobering up. 

The air got sucked out of the forest. You felt like you were stabbed in the heart. You wanted to cry. 

You smile, hiding your disappointment and heartbreak as best you can in the moment, you blink slowly as you think, “I-I, uh, I know. I saw you give Travis heart eyes last time you got a deer. Don’t-” You say as you quickly try to button yourself up. “Don’t worry about it! We just got wild, it’s okay. I’m sure guys like Travis like this type of thing!” 

You wanted to vomit. This was wrong. She was supposed to like you. She just fucked you. She took your virginity, and you couldn’t help yourself from getting upset inside. You try to keep your eyes off of her so she doesn’t see how hurt you are. How much this meant to you. 

It broke your heart knowing this was just a hook-up for Natalie. A moment in the woods to forget about: she was just playing with you this whole time. 

“(y/n), I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Natalie tries to say as she comes closer to you but hesitates. 

“I’m okay! It’s all good-” you try to say without your voice breaking, but it fails as you get to the end. You wanted to sob. “I get it! You are straight and like Travis, and I am your gay friend. I’m okay with that.” 

“(y/n), I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just have gotten feelings for Travis since we started hunting and-”

You couldn’t hear another word without wanting to sob. You put on your mask as best you could. 

You straighten out your shirt and tell her with a smile, “It’s okay. I get it. Go to Travis.” You say with as much kindness as you could find. “It was just a little moment between me and you, and he doesn’t have to know. Just go hunting. It’s past noon.” You say as you try to find a way to run away from all of this. You blink a lot, and no tears appear in your dry eyes.

You knew this was going to happen. 

You knew no one really wanted you. 

“Okay…” Natalie said as she started to take a step back. She looked hurt and confused, a mix of emotions that she had caused. “I’ll be back later. See you then.” 

“See you then.” You quickly say as you immediately turn around to walk away. You felt your face twist and your body shake softly as you tried to hold back your cries. You refuse to cry anymore out here. 

It doesn’t take long for your legs to take you back to the cabin, and you feel like something is sitting on your shoulder again. Now, another is attached to your chest. 

You look over at the fire and the two pots. Akilah is cleaning the cooking pot of all the morning's soup, and you see that the period pad pot is unchanged from this morning. As you walk to the camp, a metallic, musky, Ammonia-like odor comes from the pot. 

You wanted to act like nothing had changed, like you were still the same as you were a few hours ago, “Hey, Akilah, we need to clean this pot. It’s fucking gross.” You say as you poke a stick into the pot to pick out the washing pads. You scrunched up your nose. You try to act as nonchalant as possible.

“Sorry, it was so much more heavier than this one,” Akilah says quickly as she comes over to you without a question. The underclassmen were always willing to do what you asked them to do, and you thought it had to be with how you treated them sweetly and comforted them when they cried. You felt like their older sister.

“It’s okay; take the other end, " you say as you point to the handle on the other end. You lift the hot pot from the fireplace, panting a little as you walk towards a berry bush by the cabin.

You both placed the pot over the bush and poured the red water onto the leaves. The dirt below it was wet, drinking up every drop you poured.  

“Why do we even pour this on the bushes? It just seems like extra work.” Akilah whined and panted as the two of you let the pot down for a moment. 

“It helps the berries. The iron helps it-” You pant as you start to pick it back up again, “There will be more berries because of the iron in the blood.”  

As you walk back up to the cabin, holding onto the big pot with Akiliah and looking down at your shoes in almost numbness from everything that happened, you hear Mari screaming from within the cabin. Jackie and Shauna sit at the fireplace, and Laura hangs laundry. They all turn to see the commotion. You and Akilah put the pot off to the side of the fireplace.  

“Get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off!” Mari panics as she runs out the front door. She shakes her shirt so that something can fall out of it. 

You rush over to her with all the other girls circling her. “Hey! Hang on! Hey! What's wrong!” you say to her as you help her pull up her shirt. A memory of lifting Natalie’s shirt comes to mind as you try to push it aside, ashamed, pulling out Mari’s tucked-in shirt.

“I don’t know!” Mari groans as she still twitches and writhes in spot. Akilah comes to the both of you, as does Shauna, as everyone starts to fuss over Mari. “I-I was standing under the trapdoor. But something crawled down my shirt!” 

“I don’t see anything!” You say to Mari as everyone except the hunters starts to circle in on the situation.  

“It’s fine. There’s nothing there, Mari!” Shauna tried to reassure her, with a hand on Mari’s shoulder. 

“There’s nothing there,” Akilah added to it.

Mari slowly calms down as she stares at Shauna in disbelief, “But-” 

“Must have been the ghost.” Taissa dryly stated on the porch, arms crossed and a smirk growing on her lips. 

Mari turns her head sharply at Taissa with fear on her face. You try to rub her shoulder to soothe the fear, but you look over at Taissa with sharp eyes. “Don’t say that!” Mari demanded softly, she was afraid. You know that Mari comes from a superstitious family and believes full-heartedly that the house has a spirit. 

“Wh- You guys!” Jackie comes in with a smile, an eureka face plastered on Jackie’s. She gasps as she jumps into the inner circle, “Okay, you guys, I just had a brainstorm. We should have a Seance.” 

You felt your head unconsciously shake, you didn’t want a seance. You didn’t want to feed the fears of the others and make things harder for you all, someone was already having mental health episodes daily, and you didn’t want them to get worse. But you looked up quickly to see how proud Jackie was of her idea and having a job she could do for everyone, you stopped it before anyone could see. Fuck. You thought. I’ll just do whatever Jackie wants. 

Taissa and Van laugh at first, then look at Jackie in disbelief. “That’s a terrible idea. Also, we’re not in middle school.” 

“But remember how fun this shit used to be?” Jackie offered, raising her eyebrows, because she really wanted to do the seance. “Besides, maybe if we can laugh about this, then it would help,” Jackie added. 

“The occult is no laughing matter.” Laura Lee bluntly stated, disapproving of the entire idea. 

“It’s not the occult, Laura Lee. It’s a game. Come on, Shauna, (y/n), tell them. It’ll be fun.” Jackie replies, now insisting that everyone goes along. She looks at both of you as backup, and you both crumble to the pressure of her eyes. 

“Um…” Shauna looks over at everyone and says, “Well, I mean, it’s not like we have anything better to do. And maybe this dead guy can give us some life advice.” She says as she looks over to Van and Tai. Both laugh and nod their head, “Okay.” Van relented. 

“So, it’s settled. Tonight, the attic.” She says as she points to everyone, now amused by the situation. “We make contact.” 

Everyone giggles softly except Laura Lee who looks down angrily. You rub her shoulder and say, “Can you pray for us downstairs while we do it? To protect us if that's what you believe.” 

“I will be praying for everyone’s soul,” Laura Lee says seriously as she walks away in a huff, her hands in surrender. You chuckle softly at her, and the others giggle a little harder at the seriousness of the situation. 

‘21 

Shauna: You’re never going to believe this Shauna: it’s so messed up.  Shauna: I’m a bad mom.  You: Omg what happened?  Shauna: I went to the club with Adam.  You: Why are you still talking to him? Shauna: I DON’T KNOW Shauna: I went out with him because Jeff was gone again and we ran into Callie You: NO You: NO YOU DIDNT  Shauna: yep  Shauna: She was wearing Jackie’s uniform as a costume.  You: WHAT THE FUCK!! SHAUNA!! You: I AM GOING TO GIVE HER HELL NEXT TIME I SEE HER  Shauna: She was on Molly, too.  Shauna: I don’t know what to do anymore. She’s out of control, but so am I. I am just so messed up from her wearing that uniform and brunch tomorrow.  You: I can Imagine. 

You sit on the toilet in Natalie’s hotel room, and you quickly throw away your tampon into the trash can before you flush the toilet. You wash your hands and quickly rejoin the others as they look over the folders worth of papers you had to print at Misty’s house.

You didn’t have much of a stomach to look at the autopsy photos. You wanted to cry when you read that Rosa Martinez picked up his ashes as soon as she could. His mother survived him, and there was no one to survive her. You could only think of her pain of losing everyone in her family, surviving only by memories 25 years ago. You wondered if she ever moved on; if she lived a new life after you all came back. 

“Hey guys, I am ordering Chinese food. Do you want some?” you ask as you leave the bathroom, pulling up the number on your phone. 

“Really? Right now?” Natalie asked you with a look of disbelief, she was looking at his autopsy photos. 

“Yeah, I’m starving. Misty?” 

“Steak fried rice and wonton soup, please.” Misty asked with a smile as she read over the coroner's report. His death was ruled a suicide by asphyxiation with construction equipment. The police of his country didn’t have to look too hard to see that he had changed his name, he was once a part of the yellowjacket plane crash and said that was the reason for his suicide. It was cut and dry. It was honest in your opinion.

“Okay, Natalie, you're getting the same. Are you okay with that?” You ask as you start to diel the chinese place down the road. 

“Yeah, sure.” Natalie dismissively says. 

“Well, You can save it for late when you're hungry then.” 

“Okay, mom.” Natalie sassed as she continued to look at the photos. 

You rolled your eyes as you cheerfully answered the phone. Then, you ordered everyone their food and yourself, adding egg rolls to everyone’s order. 

You smile and sit back on the bed, looking over the papers. You see, there were still more photos and reports on him in the folder. He went to a rehab clinic about 3 years ago, and he went to the hospital the past year for acute bronchitis. You decided to look at the crime scene photos instead, the ones without his body in them. 

You noticed something that raised your eyebrow. A little black smudge was on every single photo. You couldn’t turn your face away from it. It was in all of them. 

“Guys?” You say out loud as you lay out one of the photos for the two other women to see. “What’s that thing? It’s in all of them.” 

You put another photo out that was connected to the other one. 

“What, that smudge?” 

“And here,” Misty whispers beside you, looming over your body a little to look over, her finger pointing to another. “Does that look like wax?” Misty asked.

Then, Misty pulls the photos from your hands and starts to look over the landscape of the photos. She started to line them up perfectly and continued placing the images down one by one. She pulls out a sharpie and starts to connect the smudges. 

Natalie and you stand behind her just watching as Misty work her magic, and she intensely focuses as she lines the marks together. 

First, there is the circle, then a triangle, with two arms off to the side, one short on the left and the other all the way through the triangle, and then the hook at the bottom. 

You wanted to vomit. 

“This is bad.” Natalie says anxiously beside you, swaying, arms crossed. “This is so wrong. Travis didn’t believe in any of this shit.” 

You raised an eyebrow at that. You didn’t want to correct Natalie.  

“Then why is it in the place where he died?” Misty asked back blankly. 

“I don’t know, but I promise you, he did not put it there.” 

You wanted to laugh, and you knew he did. You knew Travis very well—not in your later years, but out there. You remembered his prayers and devotion, which made you want to vomit more. 

Knock! Knock! 

You felt a cold wave come over you as the knocks startled your overwhelmed body. You quickly grabbed the money in your pocket and opened the door, trying desperately not to cry, you didn’t want to see that symbol. “Thank you, keep the change.” You say as evenly as you can, but it failed, you close the door before you feel your eyes damn over. 

You turned back to Misty and said, “Sorry, I am still not ready to see that thing sometimes—uah—you know.” Your breathe gaves out as you led your hand over your racing heart. 

Your heart felt excited and terrified. 

Misty comes over to you with wide eyes, taking the food out of your hands, “Are you alright? You’re crying?” 

You didn’t realize your eyes were just rivering tears without you blinking. You haven’t felt this kind of dread since the wilderness. Unconsciously crying, your face stayed the same. Embarrassment comes over you as a rush of darkness curls in your stomach. “I-I-I don’t un-understand-” You studdered out as your breath panicked and tightened at your throat. Natalie then approaches you with a hand on your shoulder, concerned. The two of them have seen you like this before. 

A cold sweat comes over you, and your breathing is shortens more as you heave your chest; an unpleasant tingling engulfs your entire body as you tremble in the corner of the room. Your eyes were blurry from your tears as you were coughing out apologies for crying and acting crazy. 

Misty goes to her purse as you slide down the wall. You hold your chest, and Natalie stays beside you, holding your shoulder and breathing deeply into your face. Your eyes lock together as she tells you through the mental fog, “Breathe. It’s okay.” 

You breathe slowly as you look deeply into her eyes. Misty comes back with a paper lunch bag, and you are so grateful Misty was there. You start breathing in the bag and watching the bag expand with your air, calming you down slowly.

Scrrrrappppeee! Scrrrapppeee!! 

You screamed as the trees outside of Natalie's hotel room scratched the window. You push the two women away and shout. You feel hot tears burning your crazed eyes, “Stop! Stop! I don’t want to hear it!”

Laisse l'obscurité te libérer.

You wail as you hear the voice through the leaves. You have forgotten how to hear the voices in the leaves since you have been back, you knew they were in your head. 

“(Y/n)-” Natalie cupped your cheeks, trying to calm you down as you sob violently, weakening and pushing her off of you. 

“It’s talking to me! Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!” You sob helplessly into Natalie’s hands as you fall to the floor, pressing your forehead to the ground. “I had a brain tumor- I had enough! There is nothing outside! There is nothing outside! There is nothing outside! It is not here. (y/n) stop, please-” You whisper to yourself as you pathetically cry to the ground, trying to stop the panic attack. 

Laisse l'obscurité te libérer.

The two women standing over you, both have tears from their eyes as they see you age regress. They've seen you panic like this before. They see you wail as you are now. It wasn’t pleasant to see you now as a stable, the most stable in their eyes, adult crying like a child. 

The leaves outside whistle in the wind as the tree knocks on the window. You fearfully sob in your hands on the ground. “I-I’m sorry! I don’t mean to-” 

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” Natalie says behind you as she kneels down and rubs your back. She knows how much the wilderness took from you and how much all of this would weigh on you, but she doesn’t see past it. She knows you will keep pushing on even after this, but she cannot help but pity you now. She pulls you up and hugs you, and Misty quickly jumps in as well. You sob into Natalie’s neck. 

“The leaves won’t stop talking-” 

“They are just leaves. They're not saying anything.” Natalie stated that she was trying to kill the idea before it came closer to her adult life. “We’re home, and we are safe. It is going to storm, and the trees aren’t talking to you.” She sincerely says, knowing that what you experienced in the woods felt real to you. You couldn’t help but believe what you saw and heard from the others, your brain was vulnerable. It still was. 

You tremble as you hug her close, and Misty pets your hair. Misty says, “You’re safe and healthy, the trees are just moving in the wind. I promise, you're safe.” 

You wanted to vomit as you saw the tree in the window sway to the heavy wind like it was waving at you and smiling.

‘96 

Jackie, Shauna, and you all worked on decorating the unused attic to prepare for the seance. Although you didn’t want to help, you knew this meant a lot to Jackie, so you stayed by her side and helped, as you always have in your life. 

“No, no, no. Not like that.” Jackie waved her hand over to Shauna as she was placing down candles. “Put them on the marks that are already here. This symbol thing is totally seance-y.” She says as she places a candle on the mark with a little thud for dramatic effect. 

You chuckle as you shake your head, you pull up a blanket over the mirror in the back of the room. You giggle a little as you pull out some crystals your mom put in your carry-o for good luck. Your mom was really into nature and natural gems, decorating your house with them and putting them in your bags and her own. Your dad had a tigers’ eye necklace just because your mom told him to. Funny enough, you didn’t have a crystal for safe travel, but you did have one for protection so that was fair enough. You placed it in the middle of the circle. 

“Laura Lee will have a seizure if she sees this.” You joke as you look around the room, and Shauna starts to place the candles on the carved marks. 

“Isn’t this kind of, like, a waste of candles?” Shauna says to Jackie, ignoring you. You roll your eyes at the familiar feeling crawling up your back. 

“Not if we’re getting rid of a ghost.” Jackie scoffs, as she shrugs her shoulders. 

You jokingly roll your eyes, “Yeah. Shauna.” You mock as you put up little homemade charms the others made tonight to hang from the ceiling. 

Shauna softly laughs, looking down. “Yeah, whatever.” She does as Jackie says, circling the candles in the places where the craved symbol is on the floor. 

As the two finish up, you pause momentarily and ask Jackie, “Isn’t it a little creepy that we will be in the middle where the mummy was?” 

“Yeah, but it just adds to the ambiance. Come on, you guys can’t seriously believe there is a ghost in here?” Jackie asked as she stood up, dusting off her hands. “If there was a ghost in here, he’s long gone. He died in here a long time ago, he would have gotten bored of the cabin.” 

You chuckle and shake your head, “I am scared. I don’t like messing with this stuff you know.” 

“What? Because one time, the Ouija board spelled out your mom’s name.” 

“Yeah, and 4 months later she got cancer!” you defended and you pointed to Jackie. You then look up jokingly to add, “Well, she had cancer a long time before that so it doesn’t matter! The board is creepy!” 

Jackie rolled her eyes and said to you sarcastically, “Can you just call people up here to do the damn thing.” 

You chuckle and nod, heading to the door. You call down the attic steps that it is about to begin if anyone wants to talk to the dead guy. Laura Lee bitterly states that she will be reading her Bible downstairs, and if anyone wants to read with her, it only makes more people come up the stairs, except Taissa and Javi. 

Almost everyone comes upstairs, smiling at you as you greet them at the door. Even Natalie eventually comes up. When she comes up the steps, you smile at her with a blush coming to your cheeks. 

When your smile meets her eyes, she looks away sharply. Then, she moves away from the stairs, you, as quickly as possible. 

You felt a dagger stabbed you in the heart again. 

You shouldn’t have told her your feelings. 

You shouldn’t have let her hand down your pants. 

“You didn’t have anything better to do. And it felt good.“ you thought as you sat down next to Lottie and behind the standing Shauna. You saw Natalie from across the way next to Travis and bitterly thought, “If I’m nothing to you, you’re nothing to me either, asshole.” 

Lottie looks at you with a serious face and softly touches your arm. “It’s going to be okay. We might be able to ask him to leave.” 

“What?” You snap your head back at Lottie. Then, everyone starts to sit down in a circle.  

“You look nervous? Your scared about the ghosts?” Lottie questions as she rubs her hand on your thigh comfortingly.

A memory of Natalie caressing your thigh comes to you as you put your hand on hers to stop it. You hold Lottie's hand for a moment and joke, “If I jump, catch me okay.” 

“Okay.” Lottie chuckles as she looks at your hand, holding hers for a moment before letting go of each other. Jackie starts the seance. 

“O keeper of this wild and hidden place…” Jackie chants as she swirls her finger in the reddish brown paste and puts her finger on Shauna's forehead. Shauna stood still with a blindfold over her eyes and the butcher knife tied to a long shoelace to act as a pendulum. “We anoint ourselves with blood and earth,” Jackie added, putting a small cross on Shauna's forehead.

She walked away to hand the small bowl to Travis, “Here.” 

He doesn’t take it for a second as he stares at her nonchalantly, you roll your eyes deeply at his presence. You were in competition with him?

“It’s just dirt and deer blood. Classic witch recipe. Relax.” 

She smiled as he took it, sitting next to him with a big smile. She raised her arms to the ceiling and said, “O spirit, we offer our sister as your instrument. Come to us and speak your peace.” 

“It is I,” Shauna states, in a mocking deeper voice, “Jacques.” 

Everyone fell into a stifled giggle at her voice. Shauna clears her voice and repeats, “Jacque.” Everyone laughs harder this time to Jackie dropping her arms defected, “Ask your questions. The pendulum will answer them.” 

“Okay,” Van says and she hands you the bowl. You look down at the tiny bowl with a small grimace as you dip your finger in it and put a cross on your forehead, passing it to Lottie. Van clears her throat and says, “Dear dead hunter guy… did O.J. do it?” 

You laugh as everyone around you giggles as well, Jackie sighs across the circle and says, “Come on, guys, real questions.” 

“The veil is thin between our two planes. Ask what is in your heart.” 

“I’ll go.” Mari smiles across the way, she holds her hands on her knees as she leans forward, “Is Principal Berzonsky screwing Ms. Dewine?” 

You giggle again, feeling in good spirits again and forgetting about the whole Natalie situation, you look forward to the pendulum, and you see it lean towards yes, with Van letting out a little oh. 

“It is certain.” Shauna snickers, holding on to the deep voice. Everyone giggles loudly as we hear the amazing gossip. 

“Okay! Hunter guy, if we hadn’t crashed, would we have won nationals?” Alilah asks, excited with a smile on her lips, your eyes look back to the pendulum with a smile. It leans towards no, and everyone's boos and giggles come from your throat. 

“I don’t believe that!” you bravely stated as you asked, “Now, is our math teacher Mr. Mattz really a pervert for marrying his young wife?”

The pendulum moves quickly and sharply towards yes to your question, it made you shake back with a laugh everyone did as you continued, “So is it true she was once his student!” 

It moves back to the center and back to yes sharply again. Everyone erupted in laughter, and you felt yourself fall back onto Lottie a little bit, with tears coming to your eyes. “Of course he is!” You cackle, and everyone continues with the laughs. 

“Is Frenchie Deveto’s boobs fake?” Marlissa asks with a big blushing giggling grin. 

Natalie chuckled and shook her head. You felt a lull in your happiness while she spoke. “They’re obviously fake. Do you really need a ghost to tell you that?” Natalie asked Marlissa as Javi came up the steps. 

You looked away from Natalie to smile at him, which he bashfully shared. Javi sat down next to Natalie and Travis. He was a sweet kid who didn’t talk much, and you always tried to be sweet to him. 

“You think?” Mari agreed from across the way. “But who would’ve paid for them? Her parents?” 

“I think they got divorced recently. It could have been guilt money.” 

“Well, that’s just creepy.” Mari looked at Van in disbelief, and you and Lottie shared a look of humor.

“Your mom and I are splitting up, but don’t worry,” Van mocks a man's voice as she cups her breasts for effect, “‘cause your tits are gonna look amazing!” 

Everyone giggles as Van jokes. The pendulum does not move, and it hasn’t since everyone has been joking. Taissa comes up to the attic as Jackie waves her hands around to say, “Guys, guys, okay, focus. Next question.” 

Misty raises her hand, and Jackie smiles at her. You smile softly, and Misty politely and shyly wants to participate. “Misty?” Jackie asks. 

Misty nervously chuckles and pushes her glasses up. " Um...” She takes a deep breath to calm down. “Dear spirit, I need to know the truth.” Her brown eyes look at you once before nervously shooting back to the ground. “Does the person I like like me back?” 

There was a silence caused by pursed lips and trying not to laugh at her, and you couldn’t help but feel pity for Misty. Coach Ben will never like her, and it is clear that she lusts over his every move. It was sad. Jakie rests her chin on her fist and says, “Awh.” 

You wanted to laugh loudly at her little comment but bit your lip. You see Taissa sitting in the chair in the corner, the mummy’s chair, and you take a little longer look at her. Her eyes seem lost for a moment as she clunches the arms of the chair tightly. 

The pendulum moves towards yes, and Van looks down at it unimpressed, “Okay.”

Travis whistles for Misty, and Natalie slaps his chest in response with a smile on her lips. You wanted to scream. Everyone giggles softly as Misty excitedly takes in the news. “Yes, Misty!” Mari cheers for Misty with a smile, and everyone seems to be actually happy for her a little bit. 

“Okay, next question.” Jackie says softly with a smile.

Javi raises his hand with a sad look, and you feel something coming.  Jackie’s nods and says, “yeah?”

“Are we all going to die out here?” He asks gloomly. He was dead serious.

The lightness in the room was sucked with that question. You look over at him with concerned eyes, “Why ask that, Javi? We’re doing okay, that is too dark.” You say quickly as you see the pendulum move a little bit. You felt like a mom hiding the grim reality from their kids. You didn’t want the answer to that. You ask loudly before anyone else can speak, “The better question is, Is anyone looking for us?” 

The pendulum sharply points towards yes. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, but as we started to look at Javi again for asking such a depressing question, it started to move towards no, then back to yes, as if in a trance, quickly going back and forth. It was shape like an 8.

You feel pressure at the back of your head, and you look behind you quickly towards the window. Nothing was there. You were getting paranoid.

“Okay, an eight? What’s that supposed to mean?” Van asks grumbly, as she hugs her knees towards her chest. She was also getting scared. 

“It’s not an eight; it’s an infinity.” Lottie corrected as she looked down at the knife. She looked behind herself too as she also felt the pressure like you just felt, you turn your head, too, on instinct.

“Yeah, okay, Aristotle.” Van snipped back to her best friend, frustration building from fear. 

There was nothing but the trees outside. You were about to turn your head back as Lottie let out a bloodcurdling scream.

BOOM!

The window flings open from the outside, slamming against the wall of the attic, blowing out every single candle at once. You scream in response as Shauna drops to the floor in fear, she pulls her blindfold off, as you step back into her, “What the hell!” You scream as everyone in the room yelps and screams in terror. 

“Who has the matches?” Jackie panickingly asked the group as she crawled forward. Lottie continues to scream at the top of her lungs. Everyone started to yelp in fear.

Taissa had run cover to close the window behind the two of you.

You come over to Lottie and say shakingly, “It’s okay, there was nothing out there!” 

Lottie hyperventilates in your arms as she stares down at the ground in an intense trance. Spit is dripping from her open, panting mouth as her palms press against the wooden floor.

“It’s okay!” You try again and rub Lottie back. Van comes over to you two as she also rubs Lottie’s back, “Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Guys, something’s really wrong with her.” 

Lottie sobs violently as she grabs the side of her head, she doesn’t blink as she cries, her mouth curling with primal groans. 

“I-I don’t think she-” Akilah comes over to look at Lottie and tries to calm her down. 

“It wants… It wants…” Lottie sobs as she starts to curl her lip like an animal. 

“Misty, what do we do?” Van sternly asks the blonde in the corner, wanting answers on how to fix this. 

You stare at Lottie blankly as you don’t know what to do. You just listen to her, “What does it want?” 

“IT WANTS!” Lottie yells back as her body starts to tremble under your touch, a layer of sweat lining her face. 

“Lottie, I swear to god, if you are fucking with us!” Mari cries as she slowly crawls away. She is horrified. Marlissa and Gen stare beside her in fear. You wanted to rush over to the underclassmen and hug them, make them stop crying. Lottie’s thrashing and screaming made you look back to her.

Her once brown eyes stare into your in a reddish crazed haze. Something like a giggle and sob comes out of her throat as she stares at your face. A pained smile spreading on her pink lips.

“I think she’s, like, possessed,” Akilah says as she tries to hold Lottie's face to see if she is biting her tongue. 

“Listen, Lottie, Lottie, Sweetie-” Shauna tries to lure Lottie back to reality, kneeling in front of the girl. “What’s going on? What is ‘it’?” Shauna asks her with her face right next to Lotties. 

Lottie groans in pain as her tears rush down. She shakes more as Shauna presses, “More like, what does 'it' want?” 

“Hungry.” Lottie sobbed as she stared down to the ground. You followed her eyes, and she was staring at a symbol. “Hungry,” she whispers. She seems to tire for a moment, but she starts to giggle. You freeze at this moment, locked in your own fear. You knew it. This wasn’t fake. Lottie’s eyes looked a little red in the moonlight, like Taissa’s the night before. Lottie shushes the air, as she grabs ahold of your arm. She slowly looks up at your body until her brown eyes into yours, “it’s in you already.” She says as her neck cranes back to Shauna, like she was answering Shauna and not you.

You shake in fear as you look into her eyes.

Something is in her.

Something wasn’t right here.

“Lottie, Knock it off. This isn’t a game.” Taissa hissed, not believing in what was happening. 

Lotties eyes look back up to Taissa’s as she whispers, “Il voulait du sang. Il veut toujours du sang, Il veut plus de sang.” 

“Is that French?” Marlissa asks the group, pale. 

Lottie would have failed French without your notes. You don’t understand. You had the best grade in class, yet you couldn’t speak French like she could in this moment.

This wasn’t right. 

“Il voulait du sang. Il veut toujours du sang, Il veut plus de sang.” 

“Since when has Lottie ever spoke French?” Natalie asks the group as she stays away from the situation. 

“Jackie-(y/n), W-wasn’t she in your class?” Shauna asks both of you, her head snapping from you back to Jackie. 

Jackie panics, her arms out in surrender,  “Yeah, but she sucks at French.” 

“Well, what is she saying?!” Mari asks with a hiss to Jackie. 

“It wants blood, always wants blood. It wants more blood.” You try to translate as you try to single out all the other voices besides Lottie chanting one. You just let Lottie’s hand squeeze your one so hard your bones were touching more than they should.

“Il veut plus de sang. Il voulait plus de sang. Le sang coule ici. Ici, ici, il faut…"

“Always wants blood. Something flows. It must… here? Here?” You say with your eyebrows furrowing together tightly in confusion.

 “Il voulait plus de sang. Le sang coule ici. Ici, ici, il faut… ”

“Blood flows free here? Here, here, it must—" You tried to understand what she was saying as she abruptly stood up, circling her spot until she saw the window.

She approached the window with a mission: “Ici, ici, il faut… ” Lottie whispered as she gently touched the cold glass.

“There’s blood where Lottie?” Van asks, she follows Lottie closely behind. 

“You really have to be encouraging her, Van?” Taissa asks from across the way, deadpan. 

Van points a finger at Taissa to shut her up, snapping her head back to Lottie, “Blood here, or out there?” 

“le sang féminin nourrit les baies et les nourrit.offrez-lui ce qu'il veut et il se nourrira. tous se nourriront. Ici, ici, il faut!” She whispers as she presses her sweaty palm on the glass. 

You can’t bring yourself to say it to the others. You don’t believe what Lottie was saying. The idea you all have been giving offering to some spirit for weeks without knowing disturbed you. “Here. In here.” You say and pause in disgust—your periods. 

Lottie turns her head slowly towards you, making eye contact, her eyes wild and complete detached from Lottie, “Laissez les ténèbres vous libérer. Laissez le sang couler et il ne vous décevra jamais. Il a seulement faim comme nous, laissez-le vous consumer. Oui, Oui!” She whispers softly as her eyes twist in contern, she shushes the air as she comes back to the window. “Écouter… Écouter…” she lets the tips of her fingers touch the window. 

You ask her, your lip trembling and your eyes filling with tears, everyone watching on with terror, “I am listening. What darkness are you talking about? You don’t make sense! What’s hungry!? The woods?”

Her breath rasps as she looks into the glass, focusing on the wild outside, she whimpers, “You must spill blood. Or else…” 

“Or else what, Lottie?” Jackie asks still frozen to the ground. Lottie only pants louder as she doesn’t move from her spot, looking out the window. “Lottie, what are you-” 

“Laisse l'obscurité te libérer.” Lottie whispers as she suddenly slams her head into the thin glass with a disgusting crack. Van, Akilah, and yourself coming up behind her quickly. Blood trickles down Lottie's forehead as she wails out to the girls, almost like a child to its mother. Lottie touches her bleed forehead in confusion as she falls to the floor taking the other girls with her. 

A roaring thumping up the stairs could be heard as Laura Lee stormed inside the attic. Her face was stoic and serious, and she held her Bible. She was over whatever the hell happened tonight. 

“The power of Christ compels you! Begone, Satan!” Laura Lee desperately yells as she holds up her bible to the groaning Lottie. “The power of Christ compels you!” 

Lottie countries to wail and groan on the ground demonically as Laura Lee’s eyes panic, “Lottie! Lottie, stop!” She demands that she throw the heavy leather-bound bible onto Lottie’s lap. 

Lottie yelps as her eyes widen in shock. Her face regains color within seconds, and she takes a few breaths. “Ow!” She whines as she looks up at Laura Lee in shock and confusion, blood dripping down her cheek dramatically. “What the hell, Laura Lee?” 

Everyone stared at the girl in the center. The only sound was people panting, and a relief was washing over everyone. 

“Seriously?” Mari demanded Lottie, angry and starting to believe it was all made up. “What the motherfuck just happened?” 

Laura Lee doesn’t move as she watches Lottie, completely amazed by her abilities and believing god worked his magic through her as a vessel. Lottie’s face twists in confusion as she lifts her finger to feel the dripping sensation from her nose, she panics a little at the sight of blood.

You wanted to vomit.

“Lottie, do you even remember what just happened? Are you okay?” You ask as you come over to the girl with soft eyes.

You completely believe her just from her eyes. She really thought something had come over her. There was no way she could speak French like that. There was no way Lottie would shove her face into the glass. 

“No- I- Why am I bleeding?” Lottie asked, confused as she continued to touch her nose. You look over to the others to silently say to them something you couldn’t figure out. Lottie has gone too far into her delusions.

You hug her shoulder and say as you rub her arms, “Come on, let's get you cleaned up, you hurt yourself. Let's get you to bed.”

You anxiously lay down in your makeshift bed sandwiched between Shauna and Jackie. You felt your eyes stare at the ceiling unnerved to even close your eyes, you held your blanket up to your chin as she listened in on the conversation in the corner. You knew everyone was too scared to go to sleep.

“Do we think it’s still up there?” Akilah nervously asks the group, and she plays with her fingers as she looks down. 

Taissa, who was lying just off your left, sprang up and hissed, annoyed, “You all need to stop. There is nothing up there. Lottie has been acting weird for weeks.” 

Everyone was silent as you looked around. Then, you saw Van nervously watching over Lottie, her best friend, and Akilah nervously sitting up doing the same. Lottie was deep asleep on her pillow, curled up, with a small wrap around her head from her head wound. Everyone nervously lay down in her bed and tried to act like they weren’t listening. 

“Fine!” Taissa says, standing to her feet and taking her pillow and blanket with her. She grabbed her backpack and slung it behind her shoulder,  “I’ll prove it.” 

“You’re going to sleep up there?” Akilah asks Taissa in disbelief. 

“That’s right. Who’s with me?” Taissa states that she turns back to see that no one is following suit with her. Everyone was still scared from earlier. 

Laura Lee started whispering a prayer louder in her bed. She was praying for all our souls and for protection from darkness in these woods. Van shakes her head quietly and looks down as she continues to watch over Lottie. 

“Fine. More room for me, then.” Taissa sassed as she walked through the floor littered with bodies in their bed. She walked to the cabinet with the ladder to the attic. 

No one moved for a moment as she left the room. No one had the courage to come with her; no one was as fearless as Taissa. You felt a pang of guilt come over you as you felt you were partly to blame for everyone's freakout. 

Shauna sat up and looked towards the ladder. She whispered to the two of you, “We should go up there with her.” 

“In the attic? No frickin’ way!” Jackie says with no hesitation. She shakes her head as she lies on her pillows. 

“Well, she shouldn’t be up there alone. I mean if it weren’t for us-”

“Shauna, whatever happened tonight was not because of our dumb seance.” 

“But everyone is so freaked out because we wanted to do it.” You added as you played with your cuticles and started to pick them. Your stomach growls. 

“Okay but-” 

“If you want to sleep up there, fine, be my guest. I’m staying down here.” Jackie stated that she had finished the conversation with the three of you and that you all would stay with her. You felt so much guilt for staying, and now you didn’t want to upset Jackie. 

Jackie then huffily turns to her side away from both you and Shauna. You stay still for a moment as Shauna lays back down. 

You both just lay down in the shared bed for another 10 minutes before you turn your head to look at Shauna. She was already looking at you and when your eyes met, you decided you would leave at that moment. 

You stand up and say to Jackie, “I can’t leave her up there, I don’t want to make anyone worry. I promise I will come back down here tomorrow, but I can’t leave Taissa up there.” You say as you grab your pillow, Shauna is already leaving the maze of beds to the attic. You follow behind as best you can until you climb up the ladder. You see Taissa curled up in her pillow with her blanket up to her chin in fear. She sits up when she sees the two of you. 

“We were just going to keep you company,” Shauana says to the two of you as you both stand in the doorway. “If that's okay?” 

“We couldn’t let you sleep alone up here.” You add as you walk closer to the laying girl.

Taissa stays quiet for a moment as he puts your thick foam, taken from a plane seat next to hers. You smile at her softly as you lay down a blanket and pillow. You start to lie down with your fuzzy blanket dragged over your legs. Shauna follows suit and puts hers next to yours. 

Everyone sits down momentarily and takes a breath, taking in the situation in the dark attic. You are only lying 5 feet away from the man who took his life. It wasn’t a good feeling up these stairs, but you didn’t care. 

“How far along are you?” Taissa whispers into the air, her eyes staring up at the ceiling. You felt your eyebrow raise as you turned your head to look at the two other girls, you knew she wasn’t talking to you but what was she even saying? Shauna’s eyes widen just a little as she slowly turns her head to Taissa, and your heart drops to your stomach. 

Oh, no. 

The two look at each other for a moment as you watch on. You realize quickly that Shauna and Taissa’s conversation, but you have no context,  was happening because they trusted you with this information as much as each other. You were the moderator. You keep quiet as you nervously look over Shauna's body. “You are pregnant, right?” Taissa asks again gently, looking over Shauna. 

Shauna blinks slowly as if she is finally accepting the fact, she whispers, “You guys won’t tell anyone… Will you?” 

Taissa shakes her head immediately with a quick, “No. I won’t.” 

You reach your hand over Taissa's body to touch Shauna’s shoulder, “Nothing for us to tell. That’s only if you're okay with it.” You reassure her in a whisper. You rub her shoulder as you feel your eyes sprinkle with tears. A mix of emotions was coming over you for your childhood best friend. You were excited to see her baby and to be an aunt as you always dreamed of becoming for her kids and her to your own one day, but you felt dread at the thought of a baby growing inside of her. You were hungry tonight, and you were sure Shauna was too. 

Taissa whispers as she looks at you, and your eyes meet quickly to exchange worry and stress about the situation. “But if we’re stuck out here long enough, I have a feeling it’ll come out one way or another.” 

You felt yourself nod a little at her words, agreeing all the way. But you couldn’t shake the want to comfort Shauna at this moment with her eyes fearful and nervous at Taissa’s words, “That’s not for tonight.” You say softly to Taissa as you rub your hand on Shauna’s shoulder, “She’s not showing now, and a lot can change in time. People are looking for us, and I am sure Shauna will get to a hospital before anything happens.” You try to reassure her. 

You look at Shauna fully now. Tears well in her eyes, and she is worried, and you feel like you are a mirror to her. But at this moment, you want to give her some peace. 

“You’re having a baby?!” You excitedly whisper to Shauna with a smile, a tear rolls down your cheek, and a chuckle comes to your throat. You didn’t even know Shauna wasn’t a virgin anymore, you didn’t know who the father was, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care about that. At this moment, you assume that this was something you missed while taking care of your mom, and you will get more details on who the father was later. For now, all you could care about was Shauna and their baby. 

Shauna’s worry falls away for a moment at someone reacting positively to the pregnancy, the only one to have it, and she tries to smile back. A chuckle comes out of her mouth as she wipes a fat tear from her eye. “Yeah. I think I am.” 

“That’s amazing!” You say with a wide grin, tears falling. You giggle again, uncontrolled. Taissa, below you, chuckles, too, feeling the excitement that you are holding. “That is great news, maybe not out here, but Jesus Shipmen, we’re having a baby!” You whisper as you run your arm down Shauna’s arm to her hand, holding her hand tightly. 

Shauna starts to cry as you congratulate her fully. You know she wasn’t happy, and this wasn’t what she wanted, but she needed support. You hold her hand, and Taissa puts a hand on Shauna’s head. “We’ll be here for you no matter what. We’ll keep it a secret. We’ll do whatever we can for you and the baby, Shauna!" you add to the attic's darkness. 

The three of you hug on the attic floor as Shauna softly cries into both of your chests, you and Taissa try to calm her down until the three of you fall asleep, exhausted from the day you had. 

‘21

You try to forget about the night you had last night as you read over more editors' notes for the 10th chapter of your novel. It was slow work to comb through every paragraph, every sentence, every word to make sure it all made sense. It had foreshadowing but was not too oblivious. It had depth without being melodramatic. It was tiring, but you kept going. There were another 22 chapters in your novel to go through, and you couldn’t find it in yourself to care that it was grueling. 

You needed to have this sent and done for printing by the end of August for it to be realized by October, and you needed to look normal and mentally prepare for a press conference. You needed to promote the book before it came out for presales. They need you to talk about the smut and the angst that will excite the long-time readers. 

You’ve done this circus before. Nothing was new. You knew what questions were going to be sent your way. You used a pen name as your name, and you have aged 25 years since the crash, so most people don’t talk about that anymore. Most don’t even know you were a part of the yellowjackets. They just thought you were a hermit romance author who doesn’t do a lot of interviews. But, you remember at your first convention where someone asked if you had eaten people and if you used your experience to write your vampire series. They were taken out by security, you saved face every well by tearing up, and the questions were sent away from you. It’s been years since then and now you mostly get lonely people asking questions about your characters like they were real people. You happily indulge because it's the reason you became a writer. 

Your phone vibrates, and it is Natalie. Your heart skipped a beat. 

You answer, “Hey, what's up? Before you say anything, I just want to say sorry-”

“You’re sorry about last night?” Natalie interrupted you with a chuckle. No, don’t be. Please come over. We have something important going on, and I trust you the most.” 

Your eyes widen, “You do? Thank you, okay, what's wrong?”

“You have to come over, I called Shauna over too. It’s an emergency.” 

You pale a little bit at the thought of your friends contacting each other without using you as the messenger. “Okay, coming as soon as I can.”

“Can’t wait.” Natalie snarky replies as she hangs up the phone. 

You click save on your document and get out of your chair. You had no more meetings today or any reports to look over for your story, you just have to edit. You grab your purse and fling it over your shoulder as you anxiously leave your house. 

When you got to Natalie’s hotel, you noticed that Misty's white minivan wasn’t there but another expensive white Tesla beside Natalie’s black Porsche. It made your eyebrow raise as you didn’t know anyone who would have such an expensive car, but you were happy to get there before Shauna did to ask if Natalie could downplay how much you have been in contact. You know Shauan will be wrathful upon knowing you were hanging out with other people, especially Natalie and Misty, behind her back. 

You knock softly on the door and hear Natalie talking to someone. You smile when she opens the door. Natalie lets you into the room and acts like the night before never happened. You feel grateful until you turn to look at Taissa standing in the kitchenette. 

You stood still as you looked at her. You haven’t seen her since 2006. Your phone, which you had been using to call the other girls, was in your purse because of her. You didn’t know what to think. 

“Hey.” 

“Hi, (y/n). You look nice.” Taissa smiled, then looked at you nervously. She knew she wasn’t who you wanted to see. Your history with her was a little too personal after the rescue, and it didn’t end pretty. You bit your tongue as you looked at her expensive outfit. 

“Thank you, you too. You look like you’re already a senator.” You say back, with a smile of your own back at her. Trying to keep it short and sweet with her. Your eyes look down gently to the table where the photos from last night were tapped together to keep the written symbol in one piece. “Oh, god, why is it still here?”

“You know about this?” Taissa asked as she looked down at the table. “Did you get a text from the blackmailer?” 

You snap your head in shock towards Taissa with wide eyes, “Blackmailer? What are you talking about?” 

Taissa showed you her phone and the top text was “Gather 50k cash and await further instructions. Do NOT discuss this with your teammates - I WILL KNOW.” and an emoji version of the symbol. 

You felt pale as you stared at the screen. 

How could someone know anything and blackmail you? 

The only people to know what happened out there were you guys or dead. 

“Did you get the same text?” Natalie asked as she came from behind. 

“No.” You confess as you hand Taissa her phone again, your hands go to open your purse, “Did you call Misty?” 

“That conniving, poodle-haired, little fucking freak doesn’t need to know anything. Keep Misty out of it, okay.” Natalie said as she pointed a finger at you. You pulled out your cigarette bag and pulled out a cigarette. “She told Shauna Travis died! She didn’t even tell Taissa or tell us she told Shauna.”

You roll your eyes as you place a cigarette in your mouth, You look over to the women and say, “Okay, fine, do you guys want a cigarette? I need a fucking cigarette.” 

Taissa comes to you with her hand out. You hand her one stick, light your end off, look at Tai, and then light hers. 

“Hope you know, you’re getting a cleaning bill after your stay here Natalie.” You say as you blow the smoke out the window beside the table. You knew this was a no-smoking hotel, but you couldn’t bring yourself to leave the room. 

“I don’t fucking care. Where the fuck is Shauna?” Natalie stressed as she peeks out the window beside you. 

Translation for Amis de l'autre côté

Taglist: @zhivaxo @h-doodles @homopheli @bigtimesalt8196 @juniperjean @scatorccioz @juniperjean @yaakooi @lottieswebs @juchily @freezinggay @deathly710-blog @ghostoflesbianism @marvelous-wandanatangel @errriiie @anskkks @deathvidal @slutforhotpeople @thursdayygrrrl @day-ziez @evewasheretoday @mayasaurusss @captainbabybear @eleanormall @mommyeater2000 @leonchef @mikititta @tigersarrcool @nyasbae @dykepvppy @jax1118 @oakwave @mmiah @dvrkhcld @swiftin0f @opheliadeservedbetter-27 @psychicdreamwonderland @pinkmoonzzz @under-your-bed-not-in-it @sadsapphic-rose @fictitious-sapphic @gayandfairycore @modernvenuss @livil589

[27spoons]

Under The Influence | Vanessa Palmer

pairing: vanessa palmer/reader

request: van taking care of the reader after drinking too much and the reader embarrassed herself saying how pretty they are or that she wants to be more then friends (@modernvenuss)

wc: 1820

warnings: intoxication (reader), alluding to throwing up but nothing described, fluff at the end i promise, not proofread we die like coach ben's leg

a/n: i'm assuming this was young van since it wasn't specified 😭if i am wrong i am so sorry

"Oooooooookay." As you lean on her shoulder to support yourself, Van laughs, " Someone has had too many beers."

"I have not." You say, definitely not slurring your words in the slightest. "I just had… like… a few pulls from the keg…" A small hiccup and giggle follow your words, and then a sheepish grin splits across your features.

Van rolls her eyes as she grabs the car keys from your pocket and unlocks it, "Right… and what is your definition of 'a few'? Five? Six? Ten?" She laughs, "I thought you were good at math."

"I am," leaves your lips in a grumble. "I'm really good at math."

"Right." Van agrees as she unlocks the door to your mom's Toyota, "I think these AP Precalculus classes aren't doing you any good. I would, personally, reconsider attending them if they aren't doing you any good." The passenger side door opens up, and she ushers you into the seat, clicking your seatbelt into place despite your protests.

"Vaaaaaaaaaaan." You whine petulantly as she closes the door, leaving you alone in the car for a few seconds. She moves to the driver's seat, sticking the keys in the ignition and bringing the car to life. "C'mon. Just a little while longer. I heard Jackie talking about—"

"Nope." Van cuts you off, popping the 'p,' "We are leaving."

"Where are we going?" You continue to whine, glancing over at the redhead with what you hope is the equivalent of puppy-dog eyes.

She can't fight the grin that appears on her face, and her voice shifts slightly, "The Fourth World. It's sort of like Heaven, only better, because there aren't any Christians. It's an absolute paradise of music, art and pure enjoyment."

You stare at her deadpan. "Did you just quote Heavenly Creatures to me?"

A laugh spills from her mouth as the car slides into gear, pulling away from the curb. "Oh, so you aren't drunk enough to walk, but you're drunk enough to remember lines from a movie?"

"A movie that you've made me watch, like, ten times!" You grumble, throwing your arms up in frustration, which is honestly just a result of you being drunk more than anything else. "So it's… like… your fault, or whatever." 

"You did not have to watch it with me, but you did. So, you're at fault here." She grins, clearly proud of herself. "But, just so you know, I'm taking you back home. So you can pass out on your bed instead of the front lawn of the Taylor's house." Van glances at you once the car reaches a stop sign and nudges your shoulder gently before returning her hand to the wheel, "You're gonna thank me in the morning."

You grumble out something similar to a curse—which earns you an eye roll—and you rest your head against the window, looking at the houses that pass by in the night.

At some point during the drive, you roll your window down, a soft exhale leaving your lips as the night air washes over your face. It's warm out, but not warm enough that it's uncomfortable. You close your eyes and let the feeling of the wind against your face lull you into some state of soberness, and you don't even notice the words leaving your lips as they do. "I really like you, Van." You mumble out so quietly you're almost positive the words are just bouncing around your head rather than being spoken out loud. "Like… a lot. You're always there for me when I need you, and you're really pretty." A soft sigh leaves your lips, and you feel the bumps in the road start to soothe you into a state of unconsciousness. "Sometimes I wish we were more than friends."

The next little while is a blur.

You vaguely remember Van helping you out of the car and into your house, and you swear she said something important to you after helping remove your shoes, but you can't remember what it was for the life of you.

The morning comes with a thundering headache and nausea that makes you feel like you'd rather be dead.

Maybe you did have a few too many beers last night. Whoops.

You nearly fall off your bed in an attempt to get up, scowling slightly when you realise you're still in last night's clothes. "Fuck me," comes out of your mouth with a wave of stale beer and… cigarettes? You don't even smoke. What the hell were you doing last night?

All sticky and gross, you manage to stumble out of your bedroom and into the hallway, making a beeline for the bathroom. You don't even bother flicking the lightswitch on as you fall to your knees in front of the toilet and—

Well, I'm sure you're quite aware of what you did. 

At some point, you hear a gentle murmur from the door and feel someone rest their hand on your upper back, earning a soft groan from you in response to the sudden presence. As you slowly blink yourself back into existence, you glance away from the toilet and come face-to-face with a very blurry… Van?

"Y're still here?" You mumble out, exhausted and hungover, "Why didn' y'go home?" 

"'cus I didn't have anyone to drive me there. I can't steal your mom's car; she'd kill me." Van rolls her eyes and cleans your face up with a handtowel, "Because I knew you were gonna be hungover, and I didn't want to leave you alone in the morning. Your parents are still on vacation." 

You make a small sound at that—one that you aren't quite sure what it's supposed to convey—and rest your head back on your arm with a grunt. "I wanna die."

Van scoffs, "Yeah, I grabbed some Tylenol from the medicine cabinet when I heard you in here. You can take it when you stop throwing up." She gently wipes some sweat from your forehead, and your eyes fall closed at the tender action.

You lay with your head on the toilet seat for about another ten minutes before Van decides you aren't about to throw up again anytime soon and moves you back to your bedroom, giving you some fresh clothes to wear before stepping out of your room to let you change.

She returns with a knock five minutes later, peeking her head into the room with a bottle of water and a bowl of apple sauce. "Don't know how much you can keep down right now, so… this will have to do. I'm pretty sure this apple sauce was expired, but it's… probably fine." Van grins at you, and you genuinely can't tell if she's joking or not as she takes a seat on the side of your bed. "Also got you some painkillers for your head." She places the water bottle on your nightstand and grabs the pill container from her pocket, "Hoping you can keep them down."

You smile at her gratefully, taking the apple sauce from her hands. "I… uh… shit. I feel like I owe you something."

"Three pennies and a ball o' lint, kiiiddd." She grins wide, all teeth. "Nah, you don't owe me anything. I got to crash on your couch last night and not deal with my mom, so… I think that debt is already paid." A beat, "Oh! I also stole some Fruit by the Foot. Sorry." But you both know she's far from sorry.

A quiet chuckle leaves your mouth, which causes you to wince in pain at the throbbing in your head. Van, ever the angel, takes two pills from the bottle and passes it to you alongside the water. 

An awkward silence follows you swallowing down the pills, and you aren't quite sure why Van can't meet your eyes until she breaks that tense air that surrounds you. "So, uh… just outta curiosity, how much do you remember from last night?" 

You blink a few times and exhale softly through your nose, "I… uh…" 

Your eyes go wide.

"Oh, shit, Van, I didn't mean it—I mean, I did, but I also didn't mean to say it like that—" A frustrated groan parts from your lips, and you let your head fall back against the pillow behind you. "I'm sorry."

There's a long moment of silence, and you start to worry that you've crossed a line last night, already cursing yourself for ruining a friendship that you've had for years—

She's laughing.

Van is laughing.

Loud and boisterous like she usually does, hand pressed to her stomach as she leans forward. "Oh, shit. You meant it." She keeps laughing, and you honestly aren't quite sure what to do at this point. Yes, her laughter is starting to hurt your head, but it's also nice to hear her laugh, so you don't stop it. Which is probably a mistake, considering you've listened to her laugh for what you're pretty sure was an hour straight before, but whatever. 

Van takes a breath, her grin softening. She reaches out and rests her hand on yours, her fingers warm and steady. "Listen," she starts, her tone gentler than usual. "I laughed because it caught me off guard, not 'cause I don't feel the same."

You swear your heart stutters for a moment, and you feel wide awake despite being dead tired moments ago. "Wait… what?"

She shrugs, "I mean, yeah, you’re pretty great. Always have been. And you’re not bad to look at—when you’re not puking your guts out." She smirks, but there’s a blush creeping up her cheeks. "I just didn’t think you’d... you know, feel that way."

"I didn’t think you would, either," you admit quietly, glancing down at the point where her hand rests on yours, "You’re always so... confident, Van. I figured you were way out of my league."

"We're best friends, idiot." Van rolls her eyes, her grin resurfacing. "So, by default, that makes us in the same league, actually." A beat, that grin softening again, a warmth appearing in her eyes you've only ever seen a small handful of times before. "So, what do you say? Once you’re not hungover and smelling like a brewery, maybe we... see where this goes?" She gently squeezes your hand to prove her point.

You laugh, the sound scratchy but genuine. "I’d like that. But you better bring me more Fruit by the Foot. I think my brother is gonna kill you when he gets back with my parents."

"Deal, and I'll deal with your brother. He's twelve. Not that hard to beat up." Van grins, standing up and brushing imaginary dust off her jeans. "Now, drink that water, finish your expired applesauce, and let me figure out how to fake a doctor’s note to get us out of school tomorrow."

"Why do you even know how to do that?"

She winks. "Because I’m awesome. And now, apparently, I’m yours."

a/n: crush a2c5 next trust

[serqphites]

YELLOW JACKETS HEADCANONS | them being jealous

summary: they notice you getting a little too close to another one of the girls, this is how i think they would react to the feelings and emotions that would tag along with it

pairings: nat, misty, taissa, shauna, vanessa, lottie x afab wlw reader

format: headcanons

warning: jealousy, swearing?, suggestive ig

lowercase intended! not proofread! y/n used!

natalie

- stops speaking to you

- starts going hunting without you

- when you would hunt together she’d ignore you

- gets mad if you talk abt whoever she’s jealous over

- you’ll eventually ask her while you’re out why she’s being so weird with you

- she shouts at you

- you shout back

- “what so you’re mad you’re not the only person i talk to???”

- “no i’m mad because i’m not your fucking person!”

- your argument turns into a love confession on her part

- she starts crying

- she gets really embarrassed and runs back to the cabin

misty

- would be BEYOND upset

- she’d think that she had done something wrong

- overthinking it way too much

- was she not good enough for you? even after everything she’s done for you?

- would go a little crazy ngl

- she would confront them and basically interrogate them

- would ask things like “what are your intentions with them?” and stuff like that

- coincidentally after that she wouldn’t see them near you anymore

- i’m fact they’d always make sure they are as far away as possible from either of you

- you literally have no idea what happened you just assumed you two just drifted

- yayyy misty wins again!!

taissa

- she’s been watching you from afar ever since you joined the team

- she’s scared to be openly gay, would people resent her? would they even care the she likes women?

- she’s actually been making an effort to talk to you as much as she can

- whenever shauna was the one giving out the cards for the chores that day she’d beg her to make sure she saved her the closest one to you

- however when you start spending a lot of your time with van, everything changes

- van is openly gay, just like you are

- is it offensive of her to assume you’re dating just because you’re both gay?

- whenever she would speak to you she’d ask about van

- “we’re just friends tai, i swear”

- “sure you are” she’d laugh it off as if she wasn’t genuinely trying to figure out what was going on between you two

- one day tai is out getting water and when she turns around to head back you’re just standing there

- you very quickly explain that you have feelings for her and that’s why you’ve been with van so much because you’ve been trying to figure out how to deal with them

- she drops the bucket of water and pulls you in for a quick yet passionate kiss

- “take it you feel the same?”

shauna

- she’d be so jealous

- my god you better watch your back

- she’s so scary

- the glares she’d give you both when you’re talking? lethal.

- the things she’d write about the person she’s jealous over in her journal? vile.

- she would be really quiet and weird around you

- it would make you very uncomfortable

- one day she puts her journal away and doesn’t balance it properly on the wooden beam

- it falls sometime after she’s left the attic and you just so happen to stumble across it while searching for her

- you stare down in shock at the cruel things she’s been writing about someone who was only considered a friend to you

- you are that into the journal that you don’t hear someone coming up the ladder

- shauna sees what you’re doing and charges at you, snatching her journal from your grasp

- she shouts at you for reading her journal

- you honestly don’t really listen, too busy admiring how hot she is when she’s mad

- you eventually can’t hold yourself back and pull her in by her hips as close to you as possible

- you share a lust filled, rough kiss

- god you’ve wanted that for so long

van

- she’s not really a crazily jealous person

- she’s a hell of a lot more chilled out than the rest of the girls

- but when you start ditching sneaking out of the cabin with her to sit and read under the covers with misty? oh boy things change

- she’s never felt like this before, she could feel it in her chest how furious it made her to see you with someone else

- she would make sooo many sarcastic jokes about you both

- “they’re probably off snogging misty somewhere”

- you’d overhear one of her jokes to the girls and actually get pretty upset

- at some point later that night you’d drag her outside to explain the way her comments made you feel to her

- she feels terrible

- it was never her intention to upset you

- she admits her jealously got the better of her

- you have a very heartfelt conversation about the way you’ve both been feeling recently

- obviously a love confession

- let’s just say you walk back into the cabin holding hands, everyone pitching in an “ooo la la” or a whislte

lottie

- we all know my girl got some problems

- lottie is very protective of you

- always wanting you by her side

- so when she starts to notice that instead of attaching to her side, you’re attaching to nats, she goes a little crazy

- she’d honestly say some bullshit about how the wilderness wants you to stay with her at all times

- “lottie, you can’t be serious right now”

- “y/n i can’t ignore my visions”

- “we wouldn’t want to upset the wilderness now, would we?”

- at that you fold and agree to stop spending so much time with nat, even if you know it’s just lottie trying to act like it doesn’t bother her that you’ve been giving someone other than her attention

- nat is just in disbelief that her strategy to get you back worked

a/n: hope you liked this, this is my first ever time writing fanfic so don’t judge pls! lmk what you’d want next :)

[notinuse13579]

OKAY BUT WHY DOES NOBODY TALK ABOUT THE URGE OF KISSING VAN'S SCARS!!!???? 😡

You’re so real for this.

Teen Timeline

As her soft snores infiltrate the wooden attic, Van curls tightly into your side. She often fell asleep like this. Her cheek pressed firmly to your chest. The raised red lines always seemed to draw you in. Your fingertips finding purchase on her cheekbone. Van stirs, eyes fluttering. She nudges her head upwards to peer at you but says nothing. The quiet settles over you both. Your fingers gently tracing her scars. Slowly, you tilt your head downwards to press a soft kiss to Van’s forehead. Then her temple and then her cheek. The raised area pushing against the plush of your lips. Scar tissue had never felt so warm and inviting. The upturn of her mouth brushing along your chin a ritual at this point. Content sighs left her as she let her head fall into the space between your shoulder and your jaw. Slipping slowly in a sleep once again. Safe and warm.

Adult

Although Van didn’t tell you much of anything when you first started dating, a part of you knew that the scars were a side effect of the crash. I mean she never explicitly spoke about the accident, not even to you, but there was a profound darkness that seemed to cast over her at even the smallest of references. (Ik she hates Final Destination) Some of Van’s common answers when someone would ask about her scars would be something stupid like, “I wanted to be Chucky for Halloween” when it’s literally July or “I really liked the Joker movie.” Even though she fucking hated it. Either way, in this moment, her scars were under your palm as you held her jaw firmly. Van’s breaths reflecting into your mouth. Leaning on the wall of her loft, she gripped your arm with one fist. Van’s other hand shakily set itself on your hip. As you felt her grip the skin of your arm tightly you removed your mouth from hers. You knew her well enough to dodge her next kiss, dropping your lips to her jaw. Even as she lifted her head to allow you more surface area on her neck, you knew it was the flesh of her cheek you loved most. The blunt ridges were always the victim of your daily attacks. Constantly placing swift kisses to her cheek at any given moment. Now it was near instinctive to do it, even in these moments where passion proceeds playfulness.

I just know she wipes them off like a disrespectful toddler. oh my god- when you give her an exaggerated smooch on the cheek as she’s reshelving tapes! ik she groans so loud even though she loves it.

Van is so silly I need her.

[denwritesandcries]

Like a Movie Scene – V.P

Pairing: van palmer x fem!reader

Summary: Van Palmer should come with a warning sign. She invades your life with her crooked smiles and stupid jokes and draws you into her orbit without even asking for permission, as if it were something destined to happen. Which, you assume, it probably is.

Word count: 7,1k.

Content: No crash!AU, cursing, mentions of homophobia (it’s the 90’s), friends to lovers, slow burn, fluff, a little angst, shitty families, LOTS of movie references, the yjs being normal teenagers.

Note: Van is a flirty little shit but also a complete loser and we love her for that.

English is not my first language.

Van Palmer should come with a warning sign or at least a 'no returns' marked on the tag of her football jerseys.

You don't think it would have done any good, though. Van draws you into her orbit from the first moment you met, like a bright and warm sun; allowing you to exist steadily in her life even though, technically, she has invaded yours.

You suppose then, that you wouldn't have it any other way.

It's likely you guys would never have really spoken to each other if it weren't for a mix-up between your practice schedules and a stupid argument between your coaches.

You see, the track team – which you were part of – always had practice right after the football team, because Wiskayok High School barely had the structure to keep both a girls and boys football team running properly, let alone a decent space for the few other sports the small-town school offered. Your practices took place on the same days of the week and one after the other, always at the same time. It was the implicit rule: from 4:30 pm the field is yours.

Coach Martínez didn't seem to care, however, because there he was arguing with your coach. Since apparently football practice had run late and the girls just needed to train for an hour and a half.

Your coach wasn't having any of it – your time was already too short without these changes –, and now both men were in the middle of the field screaming in each other's faces while poor coach Scott tried to calm them down.

“Dude.” you recognize Natalie Scatorccio’s tired and rasp voice beside you: “They could just cancel and let us go.”

You and apparently most people there, if the expressions of annoyance and crossed arms were any indication, couldn't agree more.

"Right?" You said. “Look at them, you think they’re gonna fight?”

Nat let out an amused snort, “They’re going to eat Coach Ben alive, that’s what they’re gonna do.”

You would have said something else if it weren't for a third voice coming from right behind you:

“They're gonna kiss, look how close their faces are.” It was Van Palmer, the goalie, with red hair swinging in a ponytail and a smirk on her lips. She shook her head in mock disappointment and crossed her arms, pointing with her chin at the scene, “In front of us, kids? What a lack of professionalism.”

You choke on a laugh and her gaze snaps to you, her smile widening with something like satisfaction in her eyes. The attention made you nervous. You weren't used to interacting with Yellowjackets members other than Nat, who was easy to talk to and was your lab partner as well as sharing cigarettes at parties, meaning that talking to Van Palmer was a completely new territory.

You joke back insecurely: “At least you have real coaches. Ours is the art teacher.”

That made her let out an incredulous laugh and you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel pleased about it. Like almost the entire school, you also had a crush on the Yellowjackets.

Your laughter died down just as Coach Scott ran across the field to the two mixed teams with the most genuine expression of exhaustion you've ever seen. “We decided to share the space," he says. And that's all. Your first interaction with Van: a conversation that lasted less than three minutes mocking your teachers. You would never expect it to evolve into anything beyond that.

It's strange trying to do your usual routine of running through the poorly painted banners around the pitch – which looked like it had never seen better days – with a game taking place just a few meters away from you and your teammates. The fear of getting hit in the face by a ball was embarrassing.

Yet, as you wait for the relay, your gaze tracks the girls in action. You don't know the names of most of them, but recognize Taissa and Shauna fighting over the ball at one end of the field, the confrontation seems a little too intense, which makes you a bit nervous and your eyes go straight to the nearest goal, coincidentally, is the one Van is defending.

You notice how beautiful she looks with her expression completely concentrated and hands resting on the knees, waiting to act. Shauna overtakes Taissa and kicks hard the ball towards the goal; Van grabs it as soon as she crosses the white line on the lawn.

A giggle escapes you as Shauna turns around in frustration and the ball bounces back into the field and Van and Tai share a wry smile. The goalie turns her attention away from the game for a moment to look around and you swear she's looking for something – or someone.

Your teacher calls signaling your turn and you leave your thoughts while you line up with some other teammates.

You can do your relay routine for exactly fifteen minutes before something goes wrong.

You run on autopilot, so used to it that it's practically a second nature, letting your gaze return to scanning the field with interest when one of the players tries to score again and Van throws herself against the ground to catch the ball with a stronger and clearly exaggerated movement compared to last time. You thought this would be a one-time thing, seeing as the way Jackie and Nat rolled their eyes at her from where they were off to the side blocking other girls, but it kept happening the entire time you spent running until it was time for your break.

You choke on the water you drink when you realize that Van is the one staring at you this time, hands resting on her thighs, face sweaty and red, as if she doesn't have a game to focus on.

Shit, you think. How are you going to keep your head in training now? You wonder what you would have done to get a Yellowjacket's attention so suddenly as you return to your line.

You resume your run at a pretty good pace despite the sudden nervousness, feeling a little more confident when you hear a loud “Come on guys, no one has beaten L/N’s time yet!” coming from your teacher.

And then you're approaching the curve flush with the football field, the curve that gives you the perfect view of the goal.

Van is there, of course, just throwing the ball downfield again. Van, who rests her hands on her hips and catches her breath when Coach Scott blows the whistle and tells that her team won the game. Van, who turns around just in time and sees you approaching. Van, who removes a strand of red hair from her face that has escaped the ponytail and gives you a malicious toothy smile. Van, who winks at you. Van, who makes you fall. Literally.

It's all so out of nowhere, so suddenly that your heart misses a beat and you miss a step, tripping over your own feet as if your legs forgot how to work properly, falling in the middle of the curve and getting in the way of your colleagues further back in the lanes next to your side

Shit. Holyshit. Fuck. You just fell in front of the entire football team.

One of your friends bends down next to you to help and asks what happened, you blame the laces of your sneakers that untied when you fell because any reason is less embarrassing than what actually happened.

Your knee is bleeding and one of your arms is scraped, so the coach decides to have pity and leave you on the bench until it's time to leave. You make your way there with your ears burning and your head down.

If Van had any kind of interest in you, it definitely disappeared after that.

You remain alone on the bench, avoiding looking anywhere for a long time until Misty Quigley appears at your side with things to bandage your wound and you happily let her fill the silence with whatever she wants to say for the next few minutes.

Your night is spent tossing and turning in bed over the shame you've experienced and the next day as you walk through the hallways, the possibility of the goalie talking to you again doesn't even cross your mind as the first classes go by like a blur.

And then you're at your lunch table waiting for Nat to show up to talk like she usually does when she doesn't disappear around school, but after a few minutes a head of red hair takes over your vision instead of the usual dyed blonde.

“What’s up?” Van is sitting next to you, with the same crooked smile and her cheek propped up in a fist.

“Uh, nothing much really.” You have no idea what is going on; she is sitting with you, smiling at you and talking to you. Why is she doing this? You can feel a few other people's eyes on you through the interaction.

She introduces herself, even though you already know who she is, holding out a hand for you to shake – they’re rough, you notice, with calluses adorning the fingers –, probably just so you can introduce yourself too. “I’m Van,” she says. And that’s it.

She’s been Van since the beginning. Not Vanessa Palmer or the Yellowjackets goalkeeper, just Van. She says it so matter-of-factly that it would simply sound wrong to call her anything else.

You engage in a conversation about anything and everything after you introduce yourself – just your nickname too. You assume Nat already told her your name at some point yesterday – speaking as if you already knew each other, and somehow it doesn't feel weird.

Your eyes end up focusing on a black-haired girl crying at a table on the other side of the cafeteria with another girl a little smaller than her. You don't know either of them, but you know that they are both on the main team too.

“Hey,” you point with your chin: “What’s up with her?”

Van finds the source of your attention and raises her eyebrows, “Oh, you mean Mari?”

You answer with a simple nod of your head and that's enough for Van to invade your personal space with a devilish expression and a mischievous smile.

“She had a bad break up.” Van says and you tilt your head at her.

“But was it that bad?” You arch an eyebrow, “People don’t cry in such full places over nothing.”

Van moves a little closer to you and lowers her voice conspiratorially, as if she’s telling you a very important secret: “She were dumped," and then a dramatic pause, “For the guy’s half-sister.”

"What?" Your jaw drops completely and Van nods her head.

“Lottie told me, she knows about these things.” Ahe rests her face in her hand again, “She said she caught them kissing at her last party, Mari must have known.”

“‘The fuck?” The shocked look you give her only seems to amuse her.

“Oh, she's crying right now but boy, she was mad as hell in our math class today.” Van blows an exaggerated raspberry, “I bet she'll end up coming up with an absurd plan to get revenge and burn down his house just like in She Devil if the story spread.”

It will definitely spread, you thought.

An unexpected giggle escaped your chest – you might have felt a little bad for talking shit about a girl you didn't even know later, but not now – and your gaze found Van's face again.

“Yeah.” You start, “Except she was replaced by the guy’s own sister– half-sister, whatever, instead of a famous writer.”

Her face lights up completely as she speaks, bright green eyes like those of an excited puppy.

“You like that movie?” She asks.

“I love that movie,” you correct, “It’s iconic and Meryl Streep looks good.”

"She does.”

This seems to completely cement Van's interest in you, because she continues to sit with you at lunch for the rest of the week. When Nat finally shows up, she arches an eyebrow, but doesn't question it.

You and Van get closer in a surprisingly short period of time, but the way she seems to settle into your life is gradual and your silly little crush on the goalie seems to get stronger without even realizing it. Waiting for your lunches in the cafeteria, conversations in the hallways, glances exchanged during physics class – since you sat too far away to really talk – and the exchange of silly words about movies you like.

You have the habit of going out for a run every weekend in the morning – it's not easy to keep the best time in the routines, after all – and one day you decide to change your route by pure coincidence to a longer one that ends up near one of the trailer parks in the city; the fact that Nat mentioned one day that she’s neighbors with a certain teammate has nothing to do with it.

It surprises you that Van is awake at 8 am on a Saturday, but you find her – by pure coincidence, nothing more than that – outside a sad trailer watering an even sadder small garden. When she sees you, your hair is a mess and breathing is a little out of step, and you give her an awkward wave as you catch your breath. It's the first time you've seen each other outside of school.

“You’re stalking me now, weirdo?” Her crooked smile tells you that there's no real bite behind it.

"No," You place your hands on your hips, kicking some loose pebbles on the floor with your sneakers. Yes, you liar, “I always run around here, how come we’ve never seen each other before?”

Fuck it, you think. If Van can just show up for you because she wants to, then you can do the same.

She seems happy to abandon her garden chores when you ask her to go for a walk and she agrees to make you company once there’s no running involved; a walk, because no one deserves to be running around like Rocky Balboa at this time of the morning.

You walk together side by side through the neighborhood with your shoulders brushing against each other as if you've done this many times before, Van whistling a random tune carelessly.

Talking to her when the initial nervousness passes is one of the easiest things you've ever done and you find yourself enjoying and listening to everything Van tells you. This potential friendship – maybe more. Maybe, just maybe – it's the most fun thing that's happened in your year so far.

Your walks together also become a habit after that. You just come back the next day and Van is there with a smile on her face, so you keep coming back and she keeps smiling.

You also start walking home after school. Neither of you have a car, so why not?

You crave her company and she craves yours, you stay for Van's training and she stays for yours – no one else on the teams has the energy to complain about exaggerated movements or stumbles on tracks – and then when you're ready, you head off to your ways together and it makes your heart warm every time.

Everything about Van just makes you want to know her even more; the way she gestures with her arms and declares with the utmost disgust how she keeps distance from any musical that isn’t animated – “But you only watched Cats!” “And that was enough!” –, they way she tells you about how she and Taissa are watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch every Friday, or how she makes fun of any weird thing Misty said during practice that week.

You listen and absorb everything with an stupid drunk smile on your face, letting her entwine your arms and chatter to her heart's content.

Keep talking, you want to say. I love your voice, seeing you happy makes me happy. Keep talking, keep talking, keep talking.

You invite her to your house for the first time under the pretext of studying, after she throws herself on the chair next to you with a tearful expression during physics class.

“I’m gonna fail,” she whines, banging her head dramatically against the open notebook on the table, “The teacher hates me.”

You start teasingly: “Maybe he would hate you a little less if you actually paid attention in his class.”

"I do!" Van protests. “It’s personal, he must think I’m strange or somethin’ and lower my grades for it.” She crosses her arms with a pout and a roll of eyes.

“Of course." You agree with an exaggerated nod, “And you, yourself, are strange and unusual.”

“Yes!” She exclaims, ignoring the looks she attracts, “But that’s not the point, don’t quote Beetlejuice to me now, woman, this is serious.”

“Oh, wow, okay then.” You shrug.

Van looks at you before resting her head on the table again. She seems so hopeless that you give in.

“Hey, c’mon,” you say, letting your hand rest on her hair and stroke it gently: “You can come to my house today. I’ll help you study for the next test.”

Van's shoulders tense suddenly and her head snaps up so fast it makes you jump back.

"Really?" Her eyes are wide, face as red as her hair: “I wouldn’t want to bother you.”

That's strange. Van is usually the one who makes you nervous, not the other way around.

“You won’t bother me at all,” you reply without giving it much thought, “There won’t be anyone at home anyway.”

And then there's silence, Van's face turns impossibly redder and after a second of confusion, you understand.

You just invited Van to your house. Alone. There is an innuendo there. Several possibilities that neither of you will mention, but that you both know are there.

Your face starts to heat up, so you clear your throat and stutter a confused “Are you coming then?”, because you can't let her realize what you just thought about.

Van responds with a squeaky “Okay, sure." and hurries back to her usual seat when class finally begins.

When you adjust yourself in the chair and think about finally releasing the breath you didn't realize you were holding, your gaze finds Lottie Matthews staring at you three seats away with her eyebrows raised. Shit.

Lottie says nothing, just wrinkles her nose contemplatively and faces forward, but she knows. She always knows. You feel your hands sweat and shake with nervousness at the prospect of becoming the new school gossip like Mari last month. The queer who fell too hard for a Yellowjacket only to get it wrong and ruin everything.

You shake your head. No, Lottie wouldn't do that. You weren't exactly friends, but she’s not mean, there was no reason for her to mess with you, your thoughts were just talking too loud. Plus, it's not like she actually saw anything. You didn't do anything forbidden. Friends go to each other's houses all the time. Your crush is not obvious.

That's stupid, you think, it doesn't matter. But you don't really believe it. Yes, it matters, at least in this little town at the end of the world.

You just hope you don't end up crying in the cafeteria too.

There is no training that day, so as soon as classes are over, you leave school together and make your way home. For the first time, the silence is awkward and makes you feel bad for making the invitation the wrong way. Maybe Van just doesn't swing that way and you made her uncomfortable somehow. It's a possibility; you're not exactly in the closet to the rest of the school.

Still, the way her hand brushes against yours gives you hope that this isn't the case.

When Van enters your house, the first thing she does is look around.

“Wow,” she begins. “Its really…”

“Small?” You complete, feeling somewhat conscious. Your house wasn't a trailer, but it wasn't anything compared to the houses of Van's cool friends. Definitely nothing like Lottie or Jackie.

“Empty.” She corrects.

Huh. It's true, your house was praticly always empty, not only because your parents spent as much time as they could out of it, pretending they didn't have a kid to still take care of, but also because of the lack of furniture and personality. It didn't seem like a cozy place to a family live. As a whole, it could be really lonely most of the time. Van seems to have noticed this with a single glance.

You choose to ignore the comment, suddenly thinking that this might end up becoming too intimate. In a vulnerable way.

When Van enters your bedroom for the first time, she gives the place the same curious look as the rest of the house, but her jaw quickly drops.

“You got a TV in your room?” She sounds completely shocked.

“Yeah.” You snort in amusement, “My uncle runs an appliance store, he fixed one that no one picked up last summer, so now it’s mine.”

Van still looks very impressed as her eyes roam the rest of the room. Your bedroom was, perhaps, the only place in the house where someone actually seemed to live. Posters and photos adorned the colorful walls and it seemed like every little thing in the room was directly a part of you, from an old stuffed animal on one of the shelves to the small pile of messy clothes on the chair next to the study table because you weren't planning on receiving no one to remember to put it away.

The tension from before seems to be dissipating and you can see from the expression on her face the exact moment Van notices your small VHS collection up ahead.

“Okay. That's it. We're only hanging out here from now.”

And that awkward moment passes completely.

In a matter of minutes you both are comfortable in your bed with books and notebooks spread around, after convincing Van to start studying with the promise that she could choose whatever movie she wanted for you to watch when you were finished.

Van seems to dedicate herself twice as much, eager to fulfill the agreement and the hours pass quickly as she understands the concepts you explain about the subject and then all you have to do is say that it's time for a break for her to jump out of bed with a smile from ear to ear and choose a movie.

She puffs out her chest holding the tape in her hands and proudly declares that you're watching Jurassic Park and you don't even think to question it when you return the smile and takes on the task of making popcorn.

Van ends up leaning against you throughout the movie, reciting all the lines from memory along with the characters close to your ear – she knows all of them – and your heart remains racing with blood rushing in your ears until she leaves.

The two of you keep hanging out at your house again and again, just like she said it would be. Sometimes you study or watch something together, but most of the time Van simply keeps you company while you do your chores around the house, following you around like a puppy while you cook or do the laundry. Your home has never been so fulled or welcoming.

You go home after classes and practice – occasionally with Nat in tow – and stay together until it's late and dark, every now and then you say that she could just sleep over as a joke, but she never accepts it. You gulps the pang of sadness and rejection each time it happens.

And you guys talk a lot. You've never been so delighted to hear someone blab about anything.

Van spends days talking about how excited she is for summer while helping you chop the things for dinner. She and Natalie always get jobs together and she’s dying to buy a car – “You’re the runner here, lady, not me.” –, an old dark green pickup truck. She shows you the leaflet with a smile so proud that you don't have the courage to admit that you thought the thing was horrible; she tells you about how she wears the clothes of her older brother who apparently left town as soon as he finished school while helping you fold the freshly washed clothes, some of her own included.

It's so domestic that you wonder why this didn't happen sooner, depriving either of you of a routine together like this for so long seemed mean.

One night you’re sleeping soundly when you are startled awake by a loud knock on your window and you turn to find a face pressed against the glass. You almost have a heart attack.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Van!”

She's standing there with a pout and big eyes, pointing at the lock and you consider leaving her outside for the fright she got you. One look at the alarm clock on the table next to the bed tells you that it's already past 2:00 am.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, your voice rasp and tired from sleep, letting her come in, but only because you don't want her to get a cold outside.

Van sneaks into the room, suddenly shy, playing with the hem of the oversized t-shirt she's wearing and avoiding your eyes. She gives you an awkward smile.

“I was just wondering if we could have that sleepover today?”

She looks upset. Something happend. Something that upset her enough that she decided to run to your home in the middle of the night.

“Van,” your expression softened, worry flooding your voice, “Are you okay?”

“Yep.” She clicked her tongue, still not looking at you in the eye.

Okay, you won't get anything out of it then. Van likes to talk, but not when it comes to problems like this. Problems at home.

The thing is that you and Van have a lot in common, like your dubious sense of humor and your love for movies, but are opposites in many others; the main one: where your house is always empty, hers is always full. Full of people who take away the smile that you always try hard to keep on her face.

“Okay." You sigh, taking her hand and making your way to the messed bed, “Let’s get some sleep then.”

“Oh.” She looks even more embarrassed, her sweaty hand in yours, “I can take the couch or the floor. I didn’t mean to wake you, I’m sorry.”

You let out an outraged huff. “You run to my house, climb in through my window, ask me to have a sleepover and now you want to sleep on the floor?”

She drags her feet on the floor, “...Yeah?”

You choose to ignore her answer, practically dragging her over to the bed and making her lie down. When she does, Van moves to the other side of the mattress, clearly trying her best not to disturb you, but in a fit of courage and exhaustion, you wrap an arm around her and press her against your chest. She lets out a squeak of surprise at the action.

“Go to sleep, Van.” You mumble against the back of her neck, burying your face in her thick hair.

Her body is still tense against yours, but Van allows one hand to rest on the arm you keep around her waist.

You lose count of how long you spend lying awake in silence cohabiting in each other's space, but when you wake up in the morning, Van is still asleep, her hand never leaving your arm.

You guys don't talk about it and you never find out what really happened to make her feel so bad that day, but Van shows up more often to stay the night. She never tells you when she's coming and you get scared every time when you hear the knocking on the window – you swear she does it on purpose, that little smartass.

You realize that you really love her, not just as a silly high school crush, in the middle of a hot May. When Van makes you stand in the line at the cinema ticket office for two and a half hours and miss the day of school to get tickets to watch Jurassic Park - The Lost World. Because if you saw the first one together then you should see the second one too, obviously.

You're sure you wouldn't put yourself through this for anyone else – but don't let Natalie know that.

The whole situation feels a lot like a date and you try to ignore the anxiety that washes over you as you rummage through your closet for an outfit that you think is good enough for the night. The way Van's jaw drops when she looks at you when she meets you at the front door makes the effort completely worth it.

She spends the entire movie almost bouncing in her seat with excitement and swearing at the parts that don't make sense. Because apparently the movie is also really bad, even though she's so happy watching it, and you manage to be bold enough to hide your face on her shoulder during the “scary” parts and leave your head resting there until the end.

You're not proud at all to say you spent seven bucks on a squeezy dinosaur for her on the way back, but it's your senior year, damn it, let the girl have fun with her silly toy before college.

You go back home – ‘home’ you think now, not ‘your house’. Your home. Your home with Van. – with her ranting about special effects and scenes you don't remember because you spent more time looking at her than the screen and you end up on the balcony before you know it.

“That was so good.” Van is just inches away from you, looking at you with bright eyes full of happiness; your hands are sweaty, so you put them in your pockets so she doesn't notice.

“Yeah, it really was.” You return with a playful smile, “Even though you convinced me to spend hours under the sun for it.”

“Hey!” She protests, moving impossibly closer, “What would the experience be worth without a little effort, huh?”

“Sure.” You giggle.

She's so pretty, you think. Hair down and a black jacket draped over her shoulders, looking at you as if she actually saw you. Knows you. I want to kiss her.

“You had fun today?” Van asks, unable to avoid the small tone of doubt that escapes her voice.

I want you to kiss me, you think.

“Yes,” you answer instead, “Yes, I did.”

One night Van simply comes in through your window and you don't even react anymore, leaning into her body under the covers.

“You gotta stop coming in through my window,” you grumble.

“Then stop leaving it open,” she huffs, “Someone might break in, you know that?”

You can feel her smile against your neck and you're about to fall asleep again when you hear her voice whispering:

“You’re gonna go to my games, now that we actually have a chance to go to the nationals, right?”

“Of course,” you mumble with a comforting pat of her hand on your stomach, “I’ll be the first one in the stands cheering you on. You’ll be embarrassed of me.”

Van buries her face in your shoulder, “Good.”

You get sick the exact same week that her last game until the nationals happens, lamenting the stupid flu that left you feverish and stuck at home for days.

You can't go to school and Van can't come to see you because Coach Martinez has increased the training routine as the team advances in the championship. You assume it must be really tiring because Van doesn't show up at night either. It's embarrassing the way you can't sleep properly without her.

The worst of all: you lose Van's game.

You resign yourself to spending the afternoon on the couch brooding in remorse until you hear a knock on the door.

Coming across Van's sad face with her clearly trying not to cry was not what you expected when you opened the door, knowing for sure that you would only be greeted later – probably after a victory party – with excited screams and bright little dog eyes asking for help to pack her bags.

"We lost." She says, eyes glued on the carpet.

“Oh." You say stupidly, “Oh, dear.”

Your voice seems to turn a switch inside her, because Van lifts her head to you with her lips trembling and the next moment you two are on the couch with her practically sprawled on your lap and crying. Crying hard. You've never seen her like this before.

You hear something about Jackie hitting the post at the last moment as she sobs, but what seems to make her really upset are the balls she couldn't save during the game. Like it would’ve make difference.

Comforting was never really your strong suit, you can't say you're really upset that the Yellowjackets lost, the idea of having Van so far away from you even for a few days didn't please you at all. A bad feeling in your chest told you that something could go wrong.

“Well,” you run your fingers up and down her back, “You know one good thing about this? We can go to Homecoming now.”

Her breathing hitches, but if Van notices how you say 'we' instead of 'you' she doesn't say anything.

She's on your lap, nose close to yours, eyes swollen with tears but with the same look from that night at the movies, the one that makes your hands sweat and leaves your heart weak.

Unlike the movies, however, she kisses you. Like, she actually moves forward and kisses you.

Her lips are wet and soft against yours and you tilt your head to pursue them only for her to pull away with a panicked expression.

"I'm sorry!" Van exclaims, scooting toward the door as if her skin had burned: “I’m sorry! I– I shouldn’t– I’ll see you at school.”

And then she leaves. You don't even have time to react, she runs out the door and gets into that horrible pickup truck – which she had parked in the driveway for the first time less than two weeks ago, wanting to take you for a ride to celebrate the purchase – and you're left standing in the doorway like an idiot after the car disappears from your vision, as if you were waiting for her to come back – you were.

You don't see her at school for the rest of the week. She doesn't show up in class or practice and she certainly doesn't show up at your house, Van is avoiding you and it's so obvious that you feel like crying the entire time you're there, trying to catch a glimpse of her through the halls.

Fuck. You knew this would happen, that you would screw up and make the person you care about the most hate you.

You huff in frustration, letting your head fall against the table feeling someone's gaze on you, someone who isn't Van.

Lottie Matthews isn't skipping physics class, she has no reason to be, so you shouldn't have freaked out as much as you did when you looked up and saw her towering over you next to your desk.

“Shit–” You gasp, jumping back in your seat and almost hitting her chin.

Lottie tilts her head, completely unfazed, with a look of false innocence and curiosity on her face. The look of someone in search of an information.

The vision of Mari crying at the beginning of the year comes back to your mind and a shiver with a line of sweat runs down your spine. Oh no.

“Did you guys break up?” She asks and it's the last thing you expected.

“What?”

Lottie sits next to you, smoothing her skirt over her legs, completely at ease.

“Look, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” she starts with an anxious air, “But please do 'cause I really want to know.”

"Know what?" God, your head is already hurting from this conversation.

Lottie seems to realize that your confusion is genuine, because she stops and frowns at you.

“Didn’t you and Van break up? I thought you were together.”

What the fuck?

"...No? We’re not?”

“Are you asking me?” Lottie arches an eyebrow, also confused.

"No." You clear your throat and roll your tense shoulders, “We’re not.”

“Oh,” she doesn’t seem to know what to say after that, strangely disappointed – just like you.

The period passes with the two of you in an awkward, resigned silence and as you're leaving, Lottie follows you down the halls, attracting glances as you pass by, which was the last thing you wanted at the moment.

“What now?” You sigh.

“I think you should talk to her and sort things out.” Lottie says, “She seems so sad lately, without her usual sparkle.”

You could understand where Lottie was coming from, seeing Van upset was truly heartbreaking, but you couldn't help the bitter pang in your chest. She ran away after the kiss, not you. The kiss she gave you.

“She’s hiding from me." You admit begrudgingly, “Where else could I talk to her, anyway?”

“In the Homecoming, of course!” Lottie nods at you sagely, as if couldn't be more obvious.

“Of course.” You agree, because, the hell, why not?

The Homecoming is on the weekend, the same weekend the team was supposed to be away for the nationals, which must be why the girls are there, to try and lift their spirits.

You recognize Jackie talking excited to Taissa about something near the tables at the back of the gym, next to a grumpy Shauna with a glass of punch in a hand and the other placed on her waist – in a definitely more then friendly way –, but no sign of of Van in sight.

You end up outside with Natalie, smoking against a wall, as always happen at every party you're at together. She's telling you about how she saw Jeff and Randy with a bottle of liquor before coming in and that they would probably baptize the punch, you both talked about ratting them out to one of the teachers in charge after sneaking a few cups and you probably would’ve done that if Lottie hadn't joined you – coming from who knows where – to ask for a cigarette too.

Nat joked about how it probably wasn't like the expensive brands she seemed to prefer at her parties, but she handed one over without a hitch and the three of you sat there, looking up at the dark and starry sky for a moment.

“You haven’t seen her yet?” Lottie breaks the silence, casually breathing in the smoke.

Nat looks at you sideways and all you do is shrug, not wanting to admit the defeat.

“You should try it near the stands.” She declares.

“What are you, a psychic or something?” You scoff, but go anyway because like Van said, Lottie knows about these things.

She is there. Of course she is. Sitting in the stands staring out at the empty field, wearing a light blue suit with a white shirt and a matching shiny tie that you have no idea where she could have gotten, because there's no way her mom would have let her buy it.

Van notices you approaching by the sound of your footsteps on the ground, her head turning to watch you and for a moment you're afraid she'll run away again.

She doesn't, so you approach, trying your best not to run towards her.

“I gotta quit smoking soon,” you say, stepping on the cigarette your hand was holding and making an overly dramatic effort to sit next to her with heavy breaths, “Or I’ll end up being kicked of track ‘till year is finished.”

Van snorts, “Right, Ponyboy Curtis.”

For a moment it's like anything hasn’t changed between you both, you bet that if you tried with conviction you could almost pretend that nothing had happened. Almost.

“You ran away from me." You say.

“I did.” Van lowers her head, quietly. Embarrassed. You’re not sure of what exacly.

"Why?" You ask, because that's the question that's been running through your mind for days.

“I–” Van looks away from you, “I thought you wouldn't want that.”

“And I thought you knew how much I wanted it." You say and Van lifts her head to stare at you with wide, hopefully eyes, “What do you want, Van?”

Her jaw drops and she looks like she was expecting everything but that, her hands twitch on her thighs, as if she wants to reach you.

“You look so beautiful right now." She sighs softly before steadying her voice, “You look so beautiful that I want to kiss you again.”

"Do it."

And she does, hard and desperate, crushing her nose against yours, as if she's hungry and can't get enough; you wrap your arms around her, hands touching her with the same need.

The lack of air is too much, so Van pulls away from you to immediately start distributing quick kisses down your neck, as if it could all disappear in a second, becoming confident when you tilt your head to grant her more access and only stopping after the hiss that you let go because she bites.

“So…” she laughs nervously, “What now?”

"Now?" You’re out of breath, “Well, can we go back inside and help Nat steal liquour to screw with Jeff and Randy or…”

"Or?" Van arches an eyebrow in amusement.

“We can go home and I can show you how much I missed you.” You shrug, casually tightening your hands on her waist.

“Hm,” she pretends to think about it, “I guess I like the first option better.”

Van laughs at the sound of your offended squeal and avoids the slap you try to give her shoulder.

“Careful, baby,” she intertwines your hand with hers, “I’m gonna start to think that you love me.”

“Oh, you better know that.”

You pull her by her stupid shiny tie and kiss her when she laughs again and let Van guide you to that hideous truck staggering laughing through the crowd of students.

Yeah, you think. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[peach-and-bugs]

Hey! I was hoping to request a dialogue request for teen van with 9 and/or 11. Fluff would be great but if you want to add smut that’s fine lol

🧡Nose-Goes - Van Palmer x fem!Reader🧡

Fanfiction master list

disclaimer: don't repost my work. I only post on Tumblr and on Ao3. anything else is stolen and should be removed immediately

Summary: Practice goes wrong and you're left with a lot to clean up...

Warnings: blood, broken bones/injuries, wound cleaning/patching up w/ fluff, very quick mention of periods/PMS, implied sexual conversation

Word Count: 2,394

A/N: Hello Loves! this was such a cute and definitely wanted request. I had two people ask for this number with Van specifically! Van is such a cutie and I was very happy to write this for her. She actually comes quite naturally to me to write. not much more to say on this one, so as always, feel free to leave questions or comments in my comments or ask box, and happy reading! 🧡

Van Palmer Tag List:

Yellowjackets Tag List: @frasersgf

General Tag List: @summergeezburr

-🧡-

You were not in the mood for practice today. Not for any particular reason, but today just didn’t feel like the day. You just felt so gross for no reason! Maybe it was that time of the month again. You weren't sure, but you still needed to go, no matter how much you wanted just to leave the locker room without a word. You were thinking all of this while filling your water bottle with a mopy look on your face. That is til you were grabbed into a surprise bear hug from behind that made you shriek. There was an unforgettable laugh that flowed into your ears and you groaned as you were released, only to turn around and punch your attacker in the arm which only provided more laughter. 

“Fuck you, Vanessa Palmer!” you yelped as you attempted to hide the smile that began to grow, tugging at your lips to reveal your teeth. Some of the other girls began to peek around the lockers momentarily before returning to what they’d been doing. Van only grinned, suppressing her laughter as she wiped tears from her eyes. 

“Damn, that was so good! You really screamed that time!” you rolled your eyes, picking up your water bottle that had now spilled into the fountain, ruining all your work. 

“Yeah, not like you’re familiar with that,” you murmured so only your companion could hear despite the echo the locker room had. Van wiggled her brow and grinned, but a mild blush still filled those freckled cheeks she had. Probably from her ego. 

“Oh you know and I’m damn proud,” she said, her chin practically resting on your shoulder as she whispered in your ear. 

“Well keep acting like that and you won't hear it till next semester,” you raised your brows high and gave her a grin of your own. Her hands subtly found your hips and she shook her head. 

“Eh, I know you. You’ll come around. There ain't a guy in this school who can do what I do,” you tilted your head then turned your eyes down to your water bottle as you screwed on the lid.

“Who said anything about finding a guy?” you promptly walked away from her and back to your locker to grab your towel before heading to the field. But you did catch a glance at the goalie, lips parted as she tried not to leave her mouth agape. You knew she hated that idea but in a sexy way. You smiled knowingly at her but darted outside before she could say anything about it. You were still grinning when you took your place in the group circle for stretching next to Shauna. The brunette glanced at you, noticing your grin, and tapped you on the shoulder to get your attention.

“You good? Heard you scream in there,” she nodded her head towards the locker room door just as Van made her grand entrance. You chuckled again and nodded, twisting your back to loosen up before leaning down to touch your toes. 

“Oh yeah. I just got her back for that is all,” Shauna gave you a knowing look and nodded. 

“How’s all that going anyways?” she asked in a whisper as you both leaned down. 

“Oh, you know. As well as you’d expect,” you played coy, not wanting to give too much away. 

“And she’s good?” Shauna, always curious asked. You gave her a simple, wordless look, and her brows raised. “Damn, good on you,” she chuckled with you. Shauna was the only person, if anyone, who knew of your “relations” outside of soccer practice with Van. It hadn’t been on purpose. She’d walked in on Van kissing you in the locker room lang after practice when you hadn’t expected anyone to come in. thank god it had been her rather than someone like Laura Lee. The girl was great and all, but had she seen she’d likely have called for hellfire to rain down then and there. She was cool about it and kept that secret safe for you both. You suspected others might have picked up on it, but Shauna was the only one to know in detail. 

“Alright ladies, time for drills,” Coach Ben interjected, bringing out the balls for practice and putting an end to stretches. “We’ve got three weeks before it’s time to start thinking about nationals, so let's bring out A game, alright?” you lined up for basic net aim to practice shooting and to help Van with blocking. You hung back in the line with Shauna while Jackie went first, watching quietly as the other girls had their go. Jackie was blocked rather quickly and didn’t seem all that happy with it. She joined the line again behind you with an irritated look. Next was Tai and then Lottie, who all got blocked just like Jackie, who now had a furrowed brow and a firm frown with crossed arms. 

“Damn, Van’s really on it today,” Jackie huffed. 

“Good. We need her focused up,” Tai said simply with a shrug. 

“She seemed mad when I went,” Lottie chimed in. Shauna gave you a knowing look and you chuckled to yourself, leaning into Shauna's ear to whisper. 

“She’d not mad. She’s bothered, shall we say,” Shauna suppressed a snorting laugh and covered her mouth, but you could see the smile in her eyes. 

“y/n, eyes up!” Coach yelled. It was your turn and you hadn’t been looking. 

“Right, sorry,” you said, moving up to get into position. You made fleeting eye contact with your goalie with a smirk on your lips before focusing back on Couch, who kicked the ball your way. You made a mad dash, moving to the left of the net before switching up last second to nip the net in the right corner. It made a satisfying swishing sound and Van nearly nosedived into the dirt. There was a quiet cheer with unceremonious applause behind you and you jokingly took a bow, enjoying the praise. You turned to Van, who had gotten back on her feet and was smearing dirt across her cheek. You wrinkled your nose with a smile, saluting her as you jogged to the back of the line. She finally loosened up, smiling and shaking her head before focusing on her task once again. 

Things didn’t go wrong till you were doing your classing 4v4 drill. It was you, Tai, Laura Lee, and Natalie against Jackie, Shauna, Lottie, and Allie. The field had been made smaller with cones moving the endzone up. It was simple and you’d done it a million times. Just get the ball into the other “team’s” endzone, but each player only got three touches on the ball. It was all about synchronization, speed, and timing. You were on you’re third run of the drill by now and you’d gotten into a good groove with your team. Maybe that had made you cocky. 

You started simple. Tai scooped the ball on the whistle and drove it down the field as far as she could. After her three touches, it was passed to Natalie, who drove it farther down. She was prepping to pass it on to Laura Lee when Shauna slid in out of nowhere, knocking the ball out of the way and into Jackie, who quickly passed it to Allie but was intercepted by Tai again. The ball was far too close to your endzone for your liking, and while there wasn’t a goalie for this exercise, you took it upon yourself to stay close to the endzone in case of an incident like this. Tai was prepping to pass the ball back to Laura Lee or Natalie, both being in range and ready, but as she started the pass, Allie did a running slide and- smack. 

You have no other recollection of what followed other than a blur of black and white, and a loud crackling, crunching sound before you even realized you’d hit the ground. You squeezed your eyes shut tight, everything spinning around you as the ringing in your ears subsided and you heard muffled voices of concern, but especially Van cursing quite aggressively. You refused to open your eyes as you bit your lip hard. 

“y/n, can you hear me? Hey! Help me here, I need her to sit up and lean forward as much as she can!” you heard a squeaky, high-pitched voice yelling beside you as someone slid in behind you, helping you move up and leaning forward as instructed. You realized this was Lottie as you started opening you’re eyes. You felt crowded around you, that is till you noticed Van nealed in front of you, reaching out to cradle you’re facing in her palms.

“ok, chin up and take a breath for me. You’re tuning purple,” she instructed. You let go of the air you'd been holding in your mouth with a shaky groan. You hadn't even realized you'd been holding your breath. 

“Misty, go call her mom,” Coach instructed.

“What's her-” the blond started. She was right beside you, you noticed now given how close her voice was. 

“I’ll go with her,” Shauna pitched in, thankfully knowing your home phone number. It only then clicked. You'd broken your nose, maybe. It was so hard to tell with things like this. You looked down at the grass between your legs at the small pool of blood forming from the heavy stream coming from your nose. You reached up a curious hand to touch the unseen injury, crossing your eyes for some kind of image. It still wasn’t registering, given the adrenaline rush you had going on. You heard Lottie hiss beside you, her hand on your back. 

“Oh no, don’t…” she murmured, but Van took care of it, taking your hand in hers before your fingers made any contact with your nose. 

“Let’s not do that, ok?” she used her gentle voice with you. You’d always liked that.

“How bad is it?” you finally managed to ask. 

“Well, you kinda look like shit. You also busted your lip,” Van chuckled. You managed to reciprocate and sat up more as the bloodstream subsided. 

“Why thank you,” you tried joking, but you started feeling lightheaded. 

“Ok. Van take her to the locker room I’ll have Misty bring you some ice when she’d done with the phone. And help her get her things, alright?” he seemed quite irritated with the whole situation. Van nodded and let go of your hand in exchange for hooking her arm under yours with your arm over her shoulder as she helped you hobble to the locker room without falling over. Lottie followed behind to grab your things. Allie, who was standing off over by the bench turned her gaze from you as you passed. 

“Here, lay down on you’re back. And breathe through your nose for me, ok,” Van instructed once in the locker room, sitting down beside you. She helped you into a lying position with your head in her lap. Lottie left your water bottle and towel on the bench beside you while Van helped you lie down. “Hey Lot? Can you get me a wet rag?” Van asked, her hand absently running over your forehead and hair. She wasn’t hiding as well as she normally did at the moment. But in your lightheaded state, you didn’t mind it. Lottie nodded, disappearing for a minute and returning with a wet rad as requested. Van nodded her thanks and smiled ad Lottie left quite quickly, leaving you alone with the redhead. 

“Look at you, nurse Vanessa. Never thought you the type,” your voice was horse suddenly. Van chuckled and rolled her eyes. 

“I’ve had enough sports-related injuries to know what's up. I’m gonna dab some of this blood away and cool your nose down for the swelling till we get that ice. That alright?” you nodded. The rag was cool on your nose, but it was enough to have you feeling the pain now. “Damn, you took that like a champ, huh?” she murmured as she wiped away the last bit of blood crusting around your nose. You shrugged, hands folded on your stomach as you looked up at her. 

“I didn’t even have time to react or feel it,” Van smiled again. Her free hand moved to caress your jaw, brushing loose hair from it. Her fingers brushed against your throat where she could feel your pulls beating. She wasn’t hiding the intention well. She dabbed the rag at you’re lip. 

“Allie should have planned that better,” she mumbled. 

“I don’t think Allie thinks about stuff like that,” the ginger scoffed. 

“Yeah, and one day it’s gonna get her seriously in the shit,” 

“She’s young. She’s got time to learn,”

“Well, she better learn quick,” you couldn’t help laughing, then hissing with a cringed look as the involuntary scrunching of your nose sent a shockwave of pain over your face. 

“Hey, careful. And where’s misty with that ice?” Van cooed, her brow knit in worry. It was so sweet of her, honestly, the tenderness and concern mingling in her gaze for you. You couldn’t help smiling up at her. “What?” she asked, noticing the look. 

“Will you kiss me?” you asked in a low tone, almost a whisper. She paused, moving the rag away from you’re face. 

“I wouldn’t want to hurt you more…” she argued against the voice in her head telling her how she wanted to say yes. 

“Then be gentle,” you insisted. “You will. You’re always gentle with me,” Van smiled and sighed, giving in. She leaned down, her lips sideways against yours. She kissed softly. Too soft for your liking. You reached up your hand, hooking it around the back of her neck to pull her down further. Her free hand caressed your forehead and she chuckled against your swollen lip. The added pressure sent a mild pain through your lip, but you didn’t mind. You enjoyed the feeling in a mildly masochistic way. She pulled away first but lingered to smile down at you, admiring your eyes. 

“I’m gonna have to be gentle with you for a while, aren't I?” she mused. You shrugged, brushing your fingers over her cheek. 

“Yeah, but we both like that,” her only reply was a hum before she leaned back in for another taste.

[thatgayb1tchwhosimps4her]

Yo so these are head-cannons from this thot a while ago.

Also the internet has come back, hopefully long term (never ever been this happy before), but enjoy for now xxx

*****

transmasc Van and Nat btw (I LOVE THEM!!!)

*****

Was definitely way too into it at the time to notice wtf you were doing.

Continues to not know about it until she goes on there later (Callie set her up on it, of which you did not know).

"Y/n……. What is this?" "Uhhhhhhh nothing, just a BeReal." "I can see that sweet thing, but who else is in it?"

You know you're fucked regardless of how you respond.

That's pretty much all I can think of honestly (I'm out here tryna keep yall fed, sorry).

---

Again, was probably way too into it at the time to notice.

Then she looks over your shoulder later on, while you're sat together watching TV.

"Watcha got there, love, hmmm?" "Nothinggggg" "Nothing huh, well if it's nothing can I see it?" "Nooooooooo"

Somehow ends up getting her hands on it (definitely did not chase you around to try and grab your phone, and/or tickle you when you wouldn't give up). "Oh?"

Honestly kinda flustered at first (even though she probably has no idea how it works).

Then makes it her screensaver for like a week, until someone accidently picks up her phone.

Poor baby gets so scared that someone's seen it, and changes it back to a more PG photo of the two of you.

100% gets a lesbian spider sense and looks up JUST as you post it.

But doesn't say anything until way after, when she somehow gets her hands on it.

"Baby, I love you, but I swear to god, if people find that and use it as a reason to not elect me, I will be mad." "Oooooooooh, maybe I like it when you're mad 😏." "Y/NNNNN!!!"

You end up taking it down after a couple hours (idk if you can do that, I haven't used BeReal in ages), cause you don't wanna actually make her mad.

Again that's pretty much it, idk.

---

This boy has no idea wtf BeReal is or how it works, but is definitely a little curious about it.

Honestly like extremely flustered by it when he finds it while looking on your phone for something (idk, like something you asked him to look at or grab from it).

"I'm not mad about it, it's actually kinda cool, but outta curiosity, how many people are gonna see that?" "I don't know." "Wha- how can you not- HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH?!"

Poor baby boy is very confused, but it's okay, he's cool with it.

---

The most smug motherfucker on earth when he finds it.

But then again honestly doesn't really give much of a shit.

But also 100% screenshotted it and sent it from your phone to his and looks at it alllllllllllll the fucking time may of masturbated to it once or twice when you weren't there 🤫.

Definitely makes it his screensaver too like Lottie, but has no shame about it whatsoever.

Not really got much else to say other then that honestly, but they speak for themselves, baby boy Nat has no shame whatsoever.

---

A little confused by it, like the whole sorta aspect of it, like "Why do people have to know everything about what people are doing?"

SAYS THE FUCKING STALKER/KIDNAPPER! anyways......

Defo hacks into your phone later on while you're asleep (cause that's just so much more fun then just taking it and unlocking it or whatever).

And also definitely stares at it for like an hour straight (that babygirl is such a freak and a perv, but it's okay, we love her for it).

Let's just say poor baby boy Caligula gets demoted to home screen, and then she changes it around, and he gets bumped back up to lock screen.

As much as Misty loves you, the photo, and just the whole aspect of the situation, she doesn't wanna loose her job for unprofessionalism.

*****

-Harlow

[nightendale]

Living dead girl | yellow jackets Van Palmer x reader

For this request.

Fem!reader x van Palmer (96’)

Notes: I wasn’t really sure how to make a point that this reader was femme cause I personally think van and Taissa are quite feminine already but I hope you like it :)))

-

You sit on the thin bed left in the cabin by its previous owner staring into your half broken half still usable applying the last finishing touches to your make up. you’re getting ready for doom coming, a event hosted by your fellow teammates to make light of your situation.

You were all supposed to be at nationals right now, winning, having fun and partying but instead fate had other plans for the Yellowjackets girls soccer team and while on the way the plane crashed, stranding your team, coach and two boys out in the woods.

You finish the last of the make up and look at yourself, wishing you were anywhere but here, you sigh and get up to head to the party.

While walking through the cabin to the front door you notice a blob of a person out of the corner of your eye, van, you take proper notice turning your head to look at the other girl.

Van, she was lovely, a fiery red haired girl with a personality you couldn’t help but fall in love with, van was everything to you, she’d had your back through out every game with the soccer team and now everything in the wilderness.

Van eventually looks up at you, most likely feeling your gaze. You smile softly at her and walk over plopping yourself down next to her.

“Hey van ban” you smile grabbing her hand playing with it.

The redhead doesn’t say anything back to you, opting to give you a small nod in response.

You let out a small sigh under your breathe knowing what was going on, van had recently been attacked by a pack of wolves, the redhead nearly lost her life but instead was just left with a few big cuts through her face.

Ever since this attack though you had notice vans sudden seclusion, she would look away from anyone that even slightly looked near her. The girl would never fully admit it to you but you knew she was feeling insecure.

You stand up now extending a hand out to the other girl who’s still sitting, “come on let’s get you ready for doom coming.” You smile.

“I’m not going.” Van mumbles looking away from you and at the ground instead.

“Why not? It’ll be fun?” You try to persuade still extending your hand.

Van pushes your hand away and looks up at you “I’m not going when I look like this.” She says with a hint of finality and anguish in her tone.

You pull your hand back, the push feeling like a sting of a burn. You stand up straighter and look head on at van, “fine,” you say shaking your head slightly “if you won’t believe your beautiful van, then I’m going to have to just make you feel beautiful.”

You turn around before you get a response and walk back to the cabins one bedroom area, entering the room you grab your makeup bag, the tiny mirror that had a million cracks through it but was still holding up and a brush one of the girls had packed and make your way back over to van.

When you get back to van you sit yourself down in front of her, her eyes slightly widening when she sees the items you’ve brought.

Careful and calm, you slightly hold the underneath of vans chin and grab your blush brush and start applying, van sitting slightly letting you do as you please.

After a matter of minutes you’re done doing the make up, you lean in and kiss her lipstick stained lips and when you pull back grab ahold of the miniature mirror.

You hold up the mirror up to the other girl so she can see what she looks like, she stares for awhile and then grabs the mirror of you staring at herself closer. You stay quite letting her have this moment with herself.

She finally puts the mirror down, “thank you (y/n)” she whispers, leaning in to kiss you.

You kiss back smiling against each others lips, when you both pull back you rest your forehead on hers “come on we have a doomcoming to attend.”

And for the first time since the crash you can see her spark come back.

[norapetals]

bittersweet reunions

pairing: vanessa “van” palmer x reader

word count: 1.7k

contains: implied female reader, second person, no use of y/n, adult timeline (reader and van are both in their early 40s), mention of death but it’s just adam so it’s fine, mentions of cancer, mentions of homophobia and conversion therapy, second chance romance, no beta reader

You didn’t miss Van Palmer.

Sure, you hadn’t seen her in years, but you had moved on. You had a life now. Not really a love life, but a life nonetheless.

Van was your only real experience of love, and it had been over two decades since then. She was probably married to a nice, beautiful woman, maybe even with kids. You always thought you would be the woman at Van’s side.

“Hey.” Shauna said, plucking you out of your thoughts. “We’re almost there.”

It took you a moment to remember where you were. It was always like this when you thought of Van. She took up every spot in your mind when it was on her. Right now, you were with Shauna on the way to Lottie’s place because Shauna had killed that guy and you didn’t want to be the only Yellowjacket left in Wiskayok.

You didn’t know Van was going until about halfway into the car ride, when Shauna explained that her and Tai had called her, and that’s how she even knew about the place.

You turned away from the car window to face the brunette. “How many minutes?”

“Five.” She answered, eyes on the road in front of her.

You nodded, though you weren’t sure if she could even see you from her point of view. In five minutes, you would be face to face with the same girl you spent 19 months in love with in the wilderness.

You weren’t sure why you had been avoiding her. After you had all gotten rescued, your parents were obsessing over you and making sure you were alright. You weren’t allowed to use the phone to call your friends for 3 weeks. You didn’t leave the house for another two months.

Even when you proved to be as okay as you could be, they were still hesitant to let you see the same girls you spent so long with. They thought it would bring back bad memories. Truth is, without Van, they were worse.

Once you could finally call Van, you were scared too. You told your parents in hopes they would comfort you, but all they heard was that their daughter was in love with a girl.

They sent you to a conversion therapy center, which you eventually faked your way out of. But it still affected you to where you were too scared to talk to Van. Too scared your parents would find out and send you back.

So you never called. You tried to date guys, but you never really liked any enough to lie to about loving them. You were always thinking about Van. Even years after. Even now.

“We’re here.” Shauna announced, putting the car in park.

You both unbuckled your seatbelts and left the vehicle, walking over to the gate. Just as you found yourself in front of it, another car pulled up. You didn’t recognize it, but you did recognize the people inside when you looked up at the windshield.

There was Taissa in the passenger seat, but it was who was driving the car that made the air exit your lungs. Van Palmer sat there looking as beautiful as ever. She hadn’t noticed you, she was talking to Tai about something and gathering her belongings as she got ready to leave.

You looked at Shauna, who gave you a sympathetic gaze. “You knew you were going to have to talk to her.”

You didn’t have to ask who ‘her’ was. “I know. I just… didn’t expect it to happen so soon.”

“…but Misty should at least be happy to see us.” Tai was saying as she shut the door.

“That’s true.” Even the sound of her voice made your heart race.

Tai saw you first. She had been expecting Shauna, but she was worried what even the sight of you would do to Van. She opened her mouth as if she wanted to call out to you both, but focused back on the girl had ridden here with.

“What’s wrong?” Van asked, quirking a brow.

Tai pressed her lips together, glancing back at you and Shauna. “See for yourself.”

You saw the exact moment Van processed you were there. Her eyes went wide and she didn’t move a muscle. From where you stood, it didn’t seem like she was breathing. She then turned completely away from the two of you and towards the stretch of road behind her.

“Van,” Tai said, coming around the front of the car, “we promised Misty we’d go—“

“I know what we promised her, Tai!” Van whipped her head around, breathing heavily. Over Tai’s head, her eyes met yours. “I can’t do this.”

“Don't say that." Tai pleaded.

Van inhaled sharply. "I'm doing this for Nat. Not Misty, not Lottie. And most certainly not her."

“Yes.” Tai agreed simply.

“Then let’s go.” Van walked quickly towards the gate, opening it, and slipping through, all without making anymore eye contact with you.

Tai followed, although stopping in front of you. “Don’t hurt her anymore than you already have.”

You watched her go the same way Van had gone. You wanted to leave, to run back to your home and stay as far away from her as possible. But you weren’t going to make the same mistake twice.

“You heard what Van said. At least, I think you did. Let’s go.” Shauna said, leading the way.

You spent the next forty minutes reuniting with Misty, Nat, and Lottie. Soon enough, you found yourself alone with Van. You were supposed to be doing one of the therapies on Lottie’s list, but she had encouraged you to ‘find your true self’, which in her opinion, was you with Van.

She was in her truck, looking through her things. You walked over, silently watching her for a moment before she acknowledged your presence. “What do you want?”

“To talk.” You replied.

She scoffed, retreating from her form of treatment to look at you. “Now you want to talk?”

“I’m sorry for everything. Truly, Van.” You tried.

“How am I supposed to believe you? After you abandoned me?” She asked.

“I didn’t abandon you! Well, at least not at first. My parents sent me to a conversion camp after they found out about us. I’m sorry for not calling after that, but it really messed me up. It made me think the opposite of what I felt and it made me do the opposite of what I wanted to do. Which was to be with you.” You explained, watching her hopefully.

“I knew you went somewhere, but that was like two months after the crash. Why didn’t you call before?” Van countered.

“My parents didn’t let me use the phone for a while, and that let the thought get into my head that you didn’t want to see m. That I would bring back the pain of the wilderness.” You said, fighting back tears.

Van paused, staring at you carefully. “You were what made the wilderness bearable. You stopped the pain, you didn’t cause it, or bring it back or whatever. I just wish you had known that.”

“Well I know it know.” You commented. “If you ever feel comfortable giving me another chance, whether it’s friendship or more, I’m going to try harder this time. I promise you that.”

She looked at you thoughtfully before going back to her task. “You’re still the same, you know.”

“What do you mean?” You tilted your head slightly in confusion.

“Well for starters, you look great.” She responded.

You let out a relieved chuckle. “Not too bad yourself, Palmer.”

“Secondly, you’re still the girl I was in love with.” Van said.

“Same goes for you. Actually, you’re an even better version of her, from what I’ve seen so far.” You replied.

You can tell it takes a lot in her not to let out a snarky comment. “Thanks.”

“‘Course.” You smiled slightly as she glanced back at you.

“You married?” She asked as if it was a casual question.

You took a breath in. “Nope. Never have been. You?”

“Same here.” This surprised you. She was one of the most beautiful women you had ever seen, if not the most. The scars just added to it.

“What do you for work?” You questioned, trying to break the remaining tension.

“I own a video store.” She told you.

“That’s a Van Palmer job if I know anything.” You laughed, leaning against the truck.

She gave a small smile in return. “How ‘bout you?”

“Boring office stuff. I couldn’t even tell you what I do.” You answered.

“You?” She sent you a suprised grin.

You shot her back a confused look. “What?”

“It just doesn’t seem like a you job to me.” She shrugged.

“What’s a me job?” You watched her go through her glove compartment.

“I don’t know.” She rolled her eyes playfully. “Something special. Not rotting in the corporate world.”

“Do I look rotted to you?” You gestured to your own body.

She looked you up and down. “Just a little.”

“Wow,” You giggled, “still mean, I see.”

“I am not mean.” She declared. “Just candid.”

“Sur.” You nodded, crossing your arms.

“I need to tell you something.” Van said suddenly.

You knotted your brows together in confusion. “Yeah?”

“Well I don’t really have to, but I just need to tell someone. I was gonna tell Tai, but couldn’t. I need you to know.” She said worriedly.

“Van, what is it? You can tell me anything.” You responded with.

“This isn’t easy to say, so I don’t know why I’m saying it, but… I have cancer.” She looked up at you with an unreadable expression on her face.

Well maybe you could’ve read it better if you weren’t so taken aback. “What?”

“Really bad cancer.” She added as if it was supposed to help.

“Oh my God. Are you okay?” You asked like you weren’t internally beating yourself up at staying away for so long. You shouldn’t have stayed away anyway, but this just made it worse.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, I just can’t keep it everyone. I need someone to know in case I straight up die randomly.” She looked away.

“This isn’t funny.” You replied.

“I’m sorry, it’s just a good way to get my mind off things. Being my extraordinarily funny self, I mean.” She said quietly. “Thank you, for listening.”

“Of course.” You smiled softly.

The silence after was comfortable, just you watching as Van went through her truck. You weren’t at the place you wanted to be with her, but you were hopefully getting there.

Maybe you missed her a little.

[sirenlulls]

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

grease: rise of the pink ladies

call it what you want —richie valdovinos

spin the bottle —multi-character preferences

emily, i'm sorry —cynthia zdunowski

youtubers

lovers rock —george clarkey

i think he knows —dating george clarkey headcanons

bad idea, right? —theburntchip x youtuber!reader social media au

formula one

nothing yet!

celebrities

arabella —elijah hewson x it girl!reader headcanons

radio —florence pugh x actress!reader social media au

satellite —robert keating x fem!reader headcanons

you're losing me —elijah hewson x singer!reader social media au

lover —ryan mcmahon x fem!reader headcanons

jackie & wilson —elijah hewson x fem!reader parenting headcanons

she's always a woman —josh jenkinson x fem!reader headcanons

sweet —robert keating x fem!reader social media au

[happysparklingshadows]

𝚅𝚊𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚊 𝙿𝚊𝚕𝚖𝚎𝚛 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜 ('𝟿𝟼)

Warnings: little toxic parts, a little bit of 90s internalized homophobia, talk about religious trauma, talk about abusive households, and abuse of alcohol and drugs.

Notes: This is just something for everyone to snack on while I write the 5th chapter of Certain Hunger. Van is so underrated and is so hot!

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

♡ Van is a Taurus Sun and a Cancer Rising (just a big old teddy bear)

♡ Her favorite color is burnt orange, like a sunset.

♡  Van is a huge dog person. I can see her having a Doberman Pinscher or Rottweiler and also having a small dog. She has trained the big dog to be gentle with the little one but is still a very protective dog to walk around with. She likes to scare men away from her with her big dog and make sure that she and her girlfriend are well-protected. She seems like someone who loves to come home and see her dogs excited to see her home.

Vanessa's Spirit Animal Is a Fox

♡ Van is an Extrovert with no shame. She can talk to almost anyone, even if she doesn't like them at all. She can go to any party and make friends without trying, and sometimes she hates that about herself. People tend to just come to her with problems or things they can't help her for support, even if they just met.

♡  Van's favorite food is Pizza and Cheese bread. She is relatively easy to cook for because she doesn't fuss over anything after being used to eating her mother's burnt food all her childhood. She loves Italian food in particular, as well as easy takeout pizza and bread.

♡ Her Childhood was very rough. Her mom and Dad had an intensely toxic relationship that was filled with booze and generation trauma, which consisted of 5 children, with Van being the third. Screaming fights and breaking glass were an early childhood regular for her, and her being hit for punishments was to be expected. Van always thought this was normal, not all the drinking but the hitting and the shame was just a part of being in a family, but when she grows up, she realizes how fucked up her childhood was. Van was the forgotten middle child who didn't make a fuss at the house but was a class clown at school. She doesn't have a very close relationship with either of her parents or even her siblings because of the age gaps between them. Van is from an Irish Catholic family, and her family went to every mass like a typical family. She knew she was gay early on, but she didn't realize being gay was such a massive sin until she was a teenager, which made her have a lot of religious conflict within her, but she has come to her own sense of religion with her sexuality and view of the world. She believes God still loves her even though she is gay because he made her that way, and she believes the bible has been edited to benefit the people in power.

♡ Van's best friend is Lottie Matthews, and she is very close to Taissa, Natalie, and Laura Lee. She loves to sneak out of her house to hang out with her friends at the mall with the little money she gets from her part-time job. She spends more time with her friends than her family and is closer to them than her family as well. She will sooner tell Lottie a problem than her own mother.

♡ Van has an extremely high sex drive and is always looking for an out to go sneak away to fuck. She doesn't mind being top or bottom, but she really likes to be on top of you, her hands always sneaking into your pants.

♡ Van's main vice will be alcohol her whole life. She would sneak around small sips of her dad's beer as a child, and when she was a pre-teen, she would steal gulps of vodka hidden in the fridge. She is constantly fighting with herself to not drink crazy like her parents, but she can't help herself from the urges she gets to have when times get tough.

♡ ⚠️Unpopular opinion⚠️ Van does have some toxic masc! Lesbian tendencies. She is the masc, so why does she have to clean? Why does she have to talk so much about her feelings when she can just hold you until the feelings go away? Why does she have to be tender when she can be mean?

♡ ⚠️Unpopular opinion 2⚠️I think young Van is very idealistic in relationships and wants to be with the same person for the rest of her life. She is loyal to the core, especially when it comes to the person to show her tender love for the first time. She will say I love you very quickly, talk about the future without hesitation, and talk about getting married one day. She has the mindset of an average Midwest mascline person about how she wants her life to go. She wants the whole white picket fence with you.

♡ ⚠️Unpopular opinion 3⚠️She has a breeding kink!!

𝙳𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙰𝚄/𝚄𝚗𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚎

♡ Royalty AU! Spinster Noble is from a very wealthy family who just never got married. She doesn't have any position of power in court, but she has capital power in general. She is the noble who is always with you when you attend court and becomes your mistress.

♡ Delinquent AU! Streetfighter. Van gives me a very aggressive bottled up-angry fighter who picks on people who remind her of her mother or are just dicks. In my mind, she gives off Vi from Arcane season two, a pit fighter who wins every fight they're in. Imagine the cuts and scars on Van's face coming from fighting.

♡ Supernatural AU! Hellhound. I don't know why, but she would be a werewolf. The idea that it's a werewolf on fire is just so Van. Van would be a very cool beast that can set things on fire and claw something in half. She would be a very cool villain on an episode of Supernatural.

♡ Superhero/Marvel AU! Ironman. The snarky, sarcastic humor, the tough guy persona with a soft heart, and the problem with vulnerability. They are the same character. I think Van would 100% use her skills to save herself from a bad situation like Tony Stark did, and I think her being so independent makes her just like Tony.

♡ College AU! Dropped out of college with a business major but returned to college a few years later to wield. She really did try to go to college and apply for the FAFSA and everything, but it just wasn't for her. She went to a few frat parties and applied to too many classes, which made her disillusioned with the whole concept of college. So, she dropped out of school without protest from her family. However, Van reapplied to a community college in her mid-twenties to start a welding program, which she loves very much and thinks she has found her calling.

𝙿𝚛𝚎-𝙲𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚑 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

♡ Van was on you since the day she met you. She has known of you for a long time in school but does not know much about you because she was from a different class. She finally met you and got to know you when you both were in detention together, and slowly, you two got into classes together. You became her friend over the years; you became very close in high school. One night, she confesses she has feelings for girls, and you confess you did, too. You both started dating as soon as you said that, and it was sealed with a passionate kiss.

♡  Van fucking loves movie dates and walking around the mall. It's a cheap date when you go to the movies in the early afternoon and then go to the Olive Garden that was in the mall, then she can spend the little money she makes at her fast food job on you. Every week, you watch the movies on Friday after school or work. Van is a huge horror movie fan, but she is a sucker for a good rom-com. You two are fucking killers in a game of Trivia or Charades. The two of you are shameless waters of celebrity drama and talk about it together throughout the week like they were real people in your lives.

♡  Van has her mom's old, beaten-up car, and she uses every excuse to leave the house. She leaves to go to your home all the time, to the point that she is like a roommate. She takes you to State Lines and Makeout Creek. She treats you with princess treatment and Lottie with backseat jester privileges.

♡  Although Van is very clearly out of the closet, she is still hidden in the closet because of the generation she is in. There is too much shame to be out to her family that she isn't even close with, but she talks a lot about having a family with you and getting married even though it's not legal. She says the plan is to graduate and go to college, get an apartment, and become roommates, but in reality, you two will be married. You couldn't be legally married, but you could be married in the eyes of god and your eyes, which really matters.

♡  Van is an Anxious Partner. She isn't worried every time you disagree but has moments of insecurity that you will leave her because of a fight. All she wants is to always be with you, but it becomes a problem at points because she can be smothering or she doesn't get anything done because she thinks about only you when she is away from you.

𝚆𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

♡ Similar to Taissa, over time in the wilderness, Van becomes more open about the fact that you are together. Hers comes somewhat from a place of possessiveness toward you and letting the other know not to mess with you. Van will grow so open to kissing you in public that she doesn't even realize others are around. Van swears to God It that if you two survive, she will tell everyone that you are her wife.

♡ Undoubtedly, there will be a wedding in the woods, with the team members witnessing the union. You would hold wildflowers in both of your hands and wear dresses, as Lottie was the one to officiate the wedding.

♡  Van is fucking you every time you move when you are out in the wilderness. Van's stomach aches from eating nothing but your pussy for months. She often thinks about you two having sex and how she can sneak you away to get her mouth on your mound again. She is obsessed with your musk.

♡  She would imagine having a child with you a lot. Even if she couldn't physically put a child in you, she tried. She knew it was crazy to think about having children at this time, but she couldn't help her human urge to yearn for children in times of fear.

♡  She becomes exceptionally smothering in the woods at times, but it feels protective and safe. You two feel safe as long as you two were in eye shot of each other ever since the near death experiences, as soon as your separated the both of you have panic attacks. You know its toxic when she tells you that you aren't safe without her or that you can't ever leave her side.

Taissa Headcanons ✿ Lottie Headcanons ✿

[minimickzy]

Practice || Van Palmer Part 2

I am so sorry 😀 University has been insane with hurricanes, car accidents and the like!

dialog prompts:

"Hold my hand" "Absolutely not" "We should kiss, for like practice" "I've liked you since you hit me with a rock at recess in 1st grade." "fuck you"

Characters: Van x Reader, the whole team

Word count: 2564

That night after Kevyn dropped you off at home you were pretty drunk, and now in your room alone to face your thoughts.

You had gotten so close- so close to just knocking down the safety rails and jumping into the universe that is one Van Palmer.

You brushed your teeth, changed, chugged a glass of water to avoid a killer hangover, and then flopped face-first into your bed.

You pictured Van, looking at you- though you after you had all but confessed to her. She had to know right? Even she isn’t that dense. Or maybe she is when it comes to herself and not characters on a screen.

You huffed and rolled onto your back. This was ridiculous- you’re being ridiculous. First of all, you never even told her you were gay. And she never even hinted at knowing it. You hadn’t even told her about your own questioning thoughts when she came out to you in the 8th grade.

Still, the look on her face from the party was haunting you. That look had only been shared between you a handful of times. The only other time that it had felt that intense was a time that neither of you had talked about since it happened in the 10th grade.

You turned, looking towards your old tv on the ground next to your dresser. You could see the scene playing out in front of you from years ago.

You were studying, well watching a movie. Lottie had loaned you Can’t Buy Me Love. You both had already seen it so Van was talking through the whole thing, riffing off of the cheesy lines. When the end played, and when Roland and Cindy finally got together, Van stayed quiet.

“I wonder what that’s like.”

“What? Riding a lawn mower? It’s not all it cracked up to be.”

“No- to be kissed like that.” You wouldn’t let her change the subject.

“Oh.”

“It seems… nice.” you needed to play coy, but you knew it was kinda of obvious what you were trying to accomplish.

“I guess… But like- what if you missed? I would die of embarrassment.” you had her hooked.

“Yeah, I feel so behind. Like everyone has already kissed or done more with people in school. I don’t want to get to that point and then embarrass myself.”

Van laughed, “With your aim- I’d prepare for that.”

“Hey!” You laughed and hit her arm, leaving it closer to her than it had been before. “We should kiss, for like practice.”

Her eyes widen, but you could tell her smile took effort now. She held eye contact with you, trying to size up your motivations. You tried to hold a look of passive determination. “That’s a good idea. Practice makes perfect right?”

“Right. So how do we do this?” you felt your hands start to clam up.

“I think you should just close your eyes- and I’ll just like- do it.”

You cocked your eyebrow at her, “But then I don’t get aiming practice.”

She rolled her eyes, “Okay, I’ll go first and we’ll switch.”

You nodded before readjusting to kneel in front of her. “Let's do this.” You closed your eyes. You couldn’t say that the first kiss was anything to write home about.

Van had basically just pressed her lips against yours for a second before pulling away.

You opened one eye, giving her a questioning look. Her cheeks were already a bright red against her freckles. “That’s the best you can do, Palmer? Expecting more from a self-proclaimed “lady killer”.

A little of the stress she was holding in her posture went away with an over-dramatic sigh. “Okay, you try asshole.”

You laughed but nodded, “close your eyes.”

She obeyed and readjusted. You tried to remember how people kissed in all the rom-coms the two of you had watched. You wanted to outdo her peck and maybe make her feel that this was a practice session.

You leaned in. And instead of just pressing your lips against hers, you left them parted until you had just started to make contact before using a bit more force and closing your lips on hers.

To your pleasant surprise, Van seemed intrigued as she leaned in, following your lips as you pulled away. You couldn’t help but smile as she whispered “Wait”, her lips brushing yours as she spoke.

You let her kiss you again, this time she didn’t seem as shy, she copied you, moving her lips against yours. In no way were you in sync. It was messy and a little wetter than you’d care to admit- but honestly how could you complain?

Van broke away from you. Her eyes had the same competitive look she had during games. Neither of you said anything- just stared at each other, slightly out of breath, both pink-faced.

Then the phone rang on your dresser behind you, Natalie was calling to see if you wanted to hang out- asking if Van was with you because she hadn’t picked up her phone.

It was a bittersweet memory now but you still cherished it.

The weekend passed- this year's prom fell before the state championship game which meant you’d actually get to go this year unlike last.

Most of the team already had dates, or at least those who seemed to want one. Jackie had all but forced Shauna to go with Randy but everyone knew she had no interest in him whatsoever. Natalie was going with Kevyn, which was great because it meant that you’d have a ride. Lottie, Van, and you had played to go stag together- so at least you’d have company in your singleness.

You adjusted some details on your outfit before hearing a knock on your front door. “You look great and you're going to have a great time.” You smiled to yourself in the mirror reassuringly before heading out the door.

Van was waiting for you outside, she wore a brown tweed suit with a vest instead of a jacket. Under the vest, she had a light sage green button-down and a stripped brown tie. She looked you up and down and let out a low whistle. “Someone cleans up nice.”

You smiled and started to walk towards her, swinging your body lightly side to side, “I’m not the only one.” You wrapped your arm around her shoulder as she rested hers on the small of your back, leading you to the car. She opened the back door for you of Kevyn’s shitty car before running to the other side and letting herself in.

“You look so hot.” Natalie winked at you from the front seat.

You winked back at her and blew her a kiss. “I do it for you, honey,”

She laughed and turned back towards the road as Kevyn drove away.

-

As much as you enjoyed watching couples make out and guys try to impress girls with uncoordinated dancing, the excitement of prom was dying out fast. Your mind was focused on how hot, sweaty, and smelly the enclosed space had become. You stood by the double doors of the gym waiting for Van to come back. She had gone to say hi to someone in one of her classes.

You could see her talking to the girl. She was pretty enough, looked confident, and based on Van's laughter she must be funny too. When Van leaned in to place her hand on the girl's arm laughing- you felt a spark of jealousy and figured it was time that you wanted to get some air outside.

You walked out to the spot behind the school where you and the team would smoke after practice. You had no reason to really be upset- the night had been fun and you had great friends. But you couldn't deny the sting that hung on despite your best efforts. You sat on the ground, wallowing in your thoughts for at least three songs. You could still hear the music from the gym though it was muffled. Your eyes were glued to your feet, expensive dress shoes kicking at the dirt.

Two new feet appeared before yours. “Can I bum a smoke?” You rolled your eyes, not laughing for probably the first ever ever at one of Van's quips.

“Don’t have any.” She shrugged and moved to lean against the wall next to you.

“Good thing I’m always prepared.”

After a few seconds, a lighter clicked above you before a lit joint was waved in front of your face. Who were you to deny a kind gesture?

You stood up and took the joint from her fingers, bringing it to your lips and holding it before sighing the smoke out dramatically. The two of you stayed in those positions for a bit, just passing the joint back and forth.

“Why’d you leave?” She asked. You could hear her trying hard to make sure she wasn’t coming off as probing or aggressive.

You shrugged, “Wanted some air.”

She nodded and pushed off the wall. “Would you be up for a dance? We can stay out here.”

Finally meeting her eyes with a questioning look she raised her eyebrows in a smile and held out a freckled hand towards you. You bit back a smile when she started to wiggle her eyebrows. “I’d love to.” you let her take ahold of your hand as you brought your other to her shoulder.

As the songs changed over the two of you got closer and closer. Forgetting the idea of personal space. Your mood lifted as it always did when you were with Van. You leaned onto her as she threw her head back and pulled you flush against her body. The two of your bodies moved to the music, not in time but in feeling. You laughed as she spun you, returning the favor before once again ignoring the idea of personal space and clasping each other like you were afraid if you loosened your grip you’d wake up from whatever kind of dream this was.

The lights shining through the window turned to a faded blue from the bright gold, signaling the beginning of a slow song. Without needing to voice the action, Van slid her hand into yours and slowly hovered on your waist with the other. You smiled, and she gave you an odd melancholy look before signing and resting her forehead gently on yours. You shut your eyes and reached your free hand up to comb through her long red hair.

The dance inside ended but the two of you didn't stop swaying to music only you could hear. The air had begun to cool as time passed, giving you a reason to try and close the space even more between the two of you.

“Van?! (Y/N)?” You broke apart at Natalie’s yell for the two of you, she was probably looking for you to leave, Kevyn being all of your rides to the afterparty.

“Shit- I forgot we still have to go to that stupid fucking party.” Van groaned as she rolled her eyes.

“Hey, it’ll be a good time. Besides we just have to say hi and then we can leave.” You grabbed her hands and started to walk backward toward the school parking lot.

She gave you an unimpressed look but nevertheless, let you pull her along gently.

Natalie, Van, Kevyn, Lottie, Laura Lee, and you all tried to squeeze into his tiny four-person car.

“Where did you go? I was looking for you for like an hour?” Natalie asked Van, turning back from her spot on Lottie's lap in the front seat.

“You know, dances aren't my thing- just needed some fresh air.” Van shrugged, barely visible due to how you and Laura Lee were pushing into her sides.

“At least we managed to get you to come to this one. You missed Randy getting caught spiking the punch though.”

“Damn, that sounds therapeutic.”

“You should’ve seen his face. Looked like a ghost when Ms. Jackson grabbed his collar” Lottie laughed, joining the conversation. “Definitely made my night.”

Van hummed in agreement, being disengaged which wasn’t normal for her.

You nudged her shoulder but she just brushed you off for the rest of the ride.

The party was hosted by none other than Jackie at her huge ass mansion. Van had made a beeline start for the drinks in the kitchen when the car pulled to a stop. You had to practically chase her through the crowd of teens in the house.

When you caught up to her she was pouring about four shots of tequila into a cup with a splash of orange juice. Her jaw was clenched. Her whole demeanor had shifted. You placed your hand on top of hers holding the cup. “What's up? Do you want to leave?” She shook her head and avoided your eyes, glancing around the room. You sighed and she rolled her eyes before gesturing to the stairs leading upstairs.

Van led you upstairs where she knocked on every door, checking if any were unoccupied. Unsurprisingly it took a few tries.

The room y’all had found must have been one of the many guest rooms in the home. A huge bed was in the center of the room with dollhouse-like furniture around the walls.

She put her cup on a dresser before face-planting into the bed. You couldn't help the laugh that burst out of you, “Van! What’s wrong?”

You sat down on the foot of the bed as she rolled over to her back. She tilted her head down towards you before looking back to the ceiling and groaning. “It’s nothing. Like it's actually dumb and I’m just a total idiot.”

She tensed as you set your hand on her leg, “I’m sure it's not dumb. Just talk to me about it.”

She grumbled as she sat up and looked at you with the frown of an insolent child. “This is embarrassing and it may ruin everything.”

“Well Jesus, now you sound like you killed someone.”

She looked at you as if to tell you ‘Seriously?’. You nudged her to continue but she just ran her hands together and looked down.

“Van… You.. You know I love you right?” You said it as a way to try to open her up but it held the double meaning, or hope, that this is what she was talking about.

“That's the thing.” Your heart sank- could she tell how you felt? Had it upset her so much?

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable-”

“You shouldn’t be sorry! It’s my fault. I’m the one making you uncomfortable-”

“Wait-”

“I mean I’m the one that looked to far into things and-”

“Van-”

“It’s not your fault that-”

“Van!”

“-I am madly, madly, in love with you.”

“Oh my god!”

“I know- mhM!” You cut her off by literally throwing yourself onto her with so much force you landed on top of her, pinning her to the bed with your lips.

“Thank fuck this conversation was a misunderstanding because I have been into you for so long it’s been torture,” you whispered against her lips.

You could feel her smile and chuckle before telling you “I told you that I've liked you since you hit me with a rock at recess in 1st grade.”

“Fuck you.”

[kvhasproblems]

Bite The Hand - Van Palmer X Reader

Chapter 1

chapter 2, masterlist

Summery: This story is just going to follow the plot of yellowjackets with a reader insert. The first chapter takes place about a week before the crash.

Warnings: reader has like serious comphet and eternalized homophobia for the first bit of this, reader also has religious trauma and shity parents (who even has good parents in this show lmao), regular yellowjackets violence, this is also gonna be like the slowest of slow burns

A/N: I only played Timbit’s soccer when i was super young so please just ignore if any of the soccer stuff is wrong, I also have no idea when I will post chapter 2 of this because I’m moving out in 2 weeks so between packing and moving to live by myself I might not have a lot of time, but I’m planning to post this once I have half of the second chapter written.

Word count: 2300

Chapter 1

"Oooooo, right into my hands. Again." Van bragged with her crooked smile.

I found myself staring, even though I tried not to. Her gorgeous red hair and that perfect smile and- I need to focus. Coach has been on my ass all week about improving this specific goal-scoring technique, so I asked Van to meet 30 minutes before practice to work on it and warm up because, god forbid she doesn’t get her perfect warm-up in.

“Well, maybe if you stopped being so good, then I’d be able to score on you." I huff back.

"Your shoulders are a dead giveaway in your fake-out. You have to avoid twisting so much."

"I’d like to see you try," I say, my hands finding my hips with a grin on my face.

"I’d like to see you in goal; how about that?" She challenges back with that smile. Again, that smile that just makes my heart flutter deep in my chest no matter how much I try to ignore it, "Now try again; this time try to remain aligned and grounded before you make the kick."

I line up and go for it, watching as the ball sails through the air and nestles into the net right in the corner just before Van is able to reach it.

"YES!" A thrill of excitement shot through me once I realized I had made the shot. I rush to Van, and she opens her arms before I leap at her for a hug. Her arms wrap around me tightly, safe and warm. I can feel my heart racing in my chest as Van’s eyes find mine. Her eyes fall to my lips, and for a moment, Van is the only thing that exists in this world; all other concerns disappear. As my lips part in anticipation of a kiss, I start to lean in. But my mother's voice in the back of my head pulls me back to reality.

"Van… I can’t." I whisper while pulling out of her embrace. Instant hurt flashed deep across her face.

"Ok," she said, giving me a tight-lipped smile. "Let’s just keep practising," she said while looking like a wounded puppy.

"Van… we have to stop doing this; it’s wrong." I sighed. 

"We are just practising; I don’t see what the issue is," she deflected with a heavy sigh.

"You know what I’m talking about I can’t keep- "

"You can’t keep what? Acting like you feel the same and then bailing out and making me feel like I’m an idiot for liking you." She breathed out, exasperated.

"You don’t like me; girls like boys that’s just how it is."

She scoffed, throwing up her hands in berating surrender. "Wow… ok then."

"Don’t be like that." I protested.

"like what"

"All... I don’t know," you jester to her with your hands. "Angry with me!"

"I’m not angry-"

"Then why are you acting like this?"

"Me! Why am I acting like this?" She ran her hand down her face. "God Y/n, you kissed me at that party, and you just expect me to forget about it!"

"I already told you it was a mistake!" I rushed out with tears threatening to fill my eyes. The blow hit Van dead in the chest, and she physically had to take a step back. Regret flashes through me the moment I see her face.

A heavy silence filled the space between us as I struggled for something to say.

"Look I-"

"Save it" 

"No Van-"

"I said save it." She huffed while turning and beginning to walk off the pitch.

Van, you don’t get it," I called after her while following her to the changing rooms. "My parents would kill me."

"And you think my mom wouldn’t?" She whipped around to face you.

I took in a shaky breath.

"Look, forget I said anything. You were right; this was a mistake." Van snapped before storming off into the changing room.

I stood there, trying to process what just happened. Fat tears rolled down my face as I tried to get my bearings on my emotions. This is for the better. I’m not supposed to like girls like this. But I still couldn’t shake the deep ache in my chest.

I took a moment to collect myself before walking into the changing room. A deep shame was starting to bloom in my chest. From what, I wasn’t sure what it was—maybe it was hurting Van or disappointing my parents, or being hurt by the same comment I made. Maybe it was all of it.

As I entered, I heard Jackie laughing and talking loudly to Shauna, who was trying to braid her hair before she gave up and just put it in a ponytail. I took this as my moment to just sneak by. I don’t think I can deal with Jackie’s insane positivity right now.

"Oh hey, Y/n!" Jackie called 

Shit.

"Hey Jackie, Shauna." I answered. Shauna waved at me with a small smile before going back to getting ready.

"You’re here early," Jackie said.

"Um yeah, I and Van came to get some extra practice in; I was working on that scoring technique so you and coach could finally stop bugging me." I added an attempt at a laugh at the end, but my heart wasn’t in it, not that Jackie seemed to notice.

"Well, that’s great anyways-" I tune out the rest, nodding and smiling when I need to, as I apply some extra deodorant and make sure I’m ready for today's actual practice.

The other girls slowly trickled into the changing room. I keep sweeping the room with my eyes, expecting to see Van, but I can't find her anywhere. The guilt from earlier keeps eating at me, making me feel sick to my stomach. If regionals weren’t right around the corner, I might have feigned ill and gone home. Not that being home would make me feel any better.

"Y/n… Y/N!" Jackie practically yelled in my face. "Hello earth to Y/n"

"I- sorry." 

"I was just saying that if we win the regional match, we should rally the team and get ice cream or something. Anyway, practice time." Jackie patted me on the shoulder, like she was ushering me forward.

"HEY EVERYONE! Make your way to the pitch! This is our last practice before regionals, and I wanna see hard work, determination, and good technique today. Jackie preached before giving her classic smile and walking out.

I followed slightly sluggish, I still haven’t seen Van since we came inside.

Nat ran up, bumping my shoulder playfully with hers. "Hey, you see Van? Woah, you good? You look like-" 

"I'm fine, and no, I haven't." I push past her to make my way to the pitch.

"Ok then.." Nat rolled her eyes as I walked away.

"Yellowjackets! Come on, hurry up!" Coach Martinez clapped his hands loudly, trying to rush us along. Despite his protests, we gathered rather slowly around him. "Take a knee, so today we are going to be running drills and going through specific plays-" He continued to ramble on about the specifics of today's practice.

"Hey," Tai whispered to me. "Where’s Van?"

"God, why does everyone keep asking me that?" I mumbled back.

"I thought you guys came early to practice."

“We did but-”

"Hey, ladies! Knock it off; I want full focus!" Coach snapped at us before continuing his rambling.

Tai waited a moment before speaking again in a hushed voice, trying to avoid Coach’s attention.

"If you guys came early, then why isn’t she here?"

"I don’t know." I huffed, getting annoyed with this conversation.

"Did she tell you where she was going or-"

"No, Tai, she didn’t. I -" 

"LADIES! Last warning, or you’re going to be running 2 miles after practice today." Coach barked angrily, clearly done with being interrupted. He gave us a final warning glare before he continued his speech.

A few moments later, Van came out of the change room. We made brief eye contact, and she walked right past me to sit on the other side of the group, the farthest from where I was kneeling. Van always sits beside me and Tai. The worried and speculative eyes of our team members had silent conversations, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Palmer, nice of you to show up!" Coach joked, clearly not amused. "Laura Lee, catch Van up! Let’s start with warm-up laps! Everyone up!" 

I stand up, and quiet chatter begins amongst the group. As we walk to the edge of the pitch, they group off and talk in hushed voices while looking back at Van and I. I try to ignore them even though it feels like I can feel their stares digging into me, tearing me apart, and discovering all my secrets. I just start running to hopefully avoid thinking about it so much. I almost ran up to Van to talk to her about it before I remembered what got me into this situation in the first place. I just continue my laps.

"Sooo, you gonna tell me what’s going on?" Nat jogged up beside me. "And don’t say nothing because I think that was the most awkward thing I’ve ever seen in my life."

"We just… had a disagreement, that’s all."

"A disagreement? Really?" She looked at me, her stare feeling like it was picking me apart, so I focus on the field in front of me.

"Must have been one hell of a disagreement."

"Just leave it, Nat." I huff back.

"Alright alright."

I push my pace so I wouldn’t have to run beside her. I hate all these questions, I hate feeling guilty, and most of all, I hate that Van won’t talk to me. The laps seemed to take an almost unbearable amount of time; I forgot how boring warm-up laps are without Van trying to make me laugh. I find myself missing more than ever how she looks at me like I’m the only thing that matters in the whole world and how she gets so distracted by what I’m saying that she even crashed into Allie that one time. I allow myself the luxury of daydreaming while I run, even though my stomach churns slightly at the thought of what my mom would do if she knew what I was thinking.

Our next section of warmup is strength training before stretching. Coach had us participate in a totally “wonderful” array of exercises.

"Ok, final conditioning exercise for today: partner sit-ups! Find a partner! Quickly," Coach barked. I scanned the team for my go-to partner just to see her pair up with Tai. My heart sinks in my chest.

"Hey, Y/n partner with me?" Lottie spoke softly with a kind, knowing smile.

"Of course, wanna go first?" I ask, returning a sort of smile.

"Sure." Lottie got ready to do the sit-ups while I held her feet on the ground. She completed her first set before speaking.

"So do you wanna talk about it?"

"I’m not sure there’s much to talk about."

"I’m not sure I believe you…" she protested. I sighed in response. "But if you change your mind, you can come over later; we can make cookies."

"Cookies sound good, plus I have nothing else to do after practice; my parents have some fancy gala to attend to impress some investors," I said, rolling my eyes. Lottie and I met a year before we ended up at the same school together at one of those fancy galas. Neither of our parents seemed to care what we were doing as long as we were well-behaved. Ever since then, we have become friends, spending time together to make up for the fact that no one is ever really around at home.

After we stretched, we moved on to drills before Coach said, "Ok, kids, scrimmage time. Misty will split you into groups."

"Coach… We should say a prayer." Laura Lee suggests acting almost surprised that Coach didn’t suggest it himself.

He just gruffed out an ok and let Laura Lee take the lead.

"Lord," she prayed, clasping her hands together. "To you, we pray; we come asking for your guidance during our practice. Please lend us your strength and courage to make right in your eyes. Amen."

 "Amen," the group echoed.

'Make right in your eyes.’ The words bounced around my skull like a ping pong ball as I take my place as Left Back. What was right in God’s eyes? Was it following my parents beliefs, being the perfect student, the perfect soccer player, the perfect girl who marries the perfect boy and has perfect children with a perfect house?

Coach’s whistle rang loud, and the scrimmage started. I jumped into action, despite my spiralling thoughts. I threw myself headfirst into the game. If soccer was good for one thing, it was making my brain feel quiet. It was the one place where I could just be myself.

This scrimmage was played with small teams so despite having Left Back as my usual assigned position, this play required me to play more forward was as my usual assigned position, Tai yelled to Allie, signalling her intentions to pass I knew this was my chance. As Tai made the pass, I scooped the ball from Allie's right, knowing that’s her weak side. Tai’s angry yells were faint as I sprinted up the field on a breakaway. Now was my chance. I lined myself up square and grounded myself before slamming the ball into the right corner of the net. Right passed Van. 

I did it!

I fucking did it!

The wide smile on my face matched Van’s in celebration before the rush of how our "disagreement" started in the first place came to the forefront of her mind. I saw her smile fall before Coach’s calls drew me back towards the other side of the field. I turned back briefly to see a look on Van’s face I couldn’t quite decipher. 

[madmaxified]

𓃹 YELLOWJACKETS MASTERLIST

i will write for : teen timeline only ( post and pre crash ), natalie, jackie, van, lottie, melissa, laura lee

jackie taylor . . . ( nothing yet )

natalie scatorccio . . . ( nothing yet )

lottie matthews . . . ( nothing yet )

vanessa palmer . . . ( nothing yet )

laura lee . . . ( nothing yet )

melissa . . . ( nothing yet )

[camillecrellin]

— Yellowjackets Masterlist

Who I write for: Nat, Van, Tai, Misty, Jackie, Travis, Akliah.

NATALIE SCATORCCIO

n/a

VANESSA PALMER

n/a

TAISSA TURNER

n/a

MISTY QUIGLEY

Misty pining headcanons

JACKIE TAYLOR

n/a

TRAVIS MARTINEZ

n/a

AKLIAH

n/a

[cherrynailsgrl]

Callie braiding Lottie’s hair, Lottie’s eating popcorn like she is a teenage girl with her friend and they both having an sleepover.

This scene already have a special place in my heart.