#yellowjackets is giving me motivation guys

[norapetals]

bittersweet reunions

pairing: vanessa “van” palmer x reader

word count: 1.7k

contains: implied female reader, second person, no use of y/n, adult timeline (reader and van are both in their early 40s), mention of death but it’s just adam so it’s fine, mentions of cancer, mentions of homophobia and conversion therapy, second chance romance, no beta reader

You didn’t miss Van Palmer.

Sure, you hadn’t seen her in years, but you had moved on. You had a life now. Not really a love life, but a life nonetheless.

Van was your only real experience of love, and it had been over two decades since then. She was probably married to a nice, beautiful woman, maybe even with kids. You always thought you would be the woman at Van’s side.

“Hey.” Shauna said, plucking you out of your thoughts. “We’re almost there.”

It took you a moment to remember where you were. It was always like this when you thought of Van. She took up every spot in your mind when it was on her. Right now, you were with Shauna on the way to Lottie’s place because Shauna had killed that guy and you didn’t want to be the only Yellowjacket left in Wiskayok.

You didn’t know Van was going until about halfway into the car ride, when Shauna explained that her and Tai had called her, and that’s how she even knew about the place.

You turned away from the car window to face the brunette. “How many minutes?”

“Five.” She answered, eyes on the road in front of her.

You nodded, though you weren’t sure if she could even see you from her point of view. In five minutes, you would be face to face with the same girl you spent 19 months in love with in the wilderness.

You weren’t sure why you had been avoiding her. After you had all gotten rescued, your parents were obsessing over you and making sure you were alright. You weren’t allowed to use the phone to call your friends for 3 weeks. You didn’t leave the house for another two months.

Even when you proved to be as okay as you could be, they were still hesitant to let you see the same girls you spent so long with. They thought it would bring back bad memories. Truth is, without Van, they were worse.

Once you could finally call Van, you were scared too. You told your parents in hopes they would comfort you, but all they heard was that their daughter was in love with a girl.

They sent you to a conversion therapy center, which you eventually faked your way out of. But it still affected you to where you were too scared to talk to Van. Too scared your parents would find out and send you back.

So you never called. You tried to date guys, but you never really liked any enough to lie to about loving them. You were always thinking about Van. Even years after. Even now.

“We’re here.” Shauna announced, putting the car in park.

You both unbuckled your seatbelts and left the vehicle, walking over to the gate. Just as you found yourself in front of it, another car pulled up. You didn’t recognize it, but you did recognize the people inside when you looked up at the windshield.

There was Taissa in the passenger seat, but it was who was driving the car that made the air exit your lungs. Van Palmer sat there looking as beautiful as ever. She hadn’t noticed you, she was talking to Tai about something and gathering her belongings as she got ready to leave.

You looked at Shauna, who gave you a sympathetic gaze. “You knew you were going to have to talk to her.”

You didn’t have to ask who ‘her’ was. “I know. I just… didn’t expect it to happen so soon.”

“…but Misty should at least be happy to see us.” Tai was saying as she shut the door.

“That’s true.” Even the sound of her voice made your heart race.

Tai saw you first. She had been expecting Shauna, but she was worried what even the sight of you would do to Van. She opened her mouth as if she wanted to call out to you both, but focused back on the girl had ridden here with.

“What’s wrong?” Van asked, quirking a brow.

Tai pressed her lips together, glancing back at you and Shauna. “See for yourself.”

You saw the exact moment Van processed you were there. Her eyes went wide and she didn’t move a muscle. From where you stood, it didn’t seem like she was breathing. She then turned completely away from the two of you and towards the stretch of road behind her.

“Van,” Tai said, coming around the front of the car, “we promised Misty we’d go—“

“I know what we promised her, Tai!” Van whipped her head around, breathing heavily. Over Tai’s head, her eyes met yours. “I can’t do this.”

“Don't say that." Tai pleaded.

Van inhaled sharply. "I'm doing this for Nat. Not Misty, not Lottie. And most certainly not her."

“Yes.” Tai agreed simply.

“Then let’s go.” Van walked quickly towards the gate, opening it, and slipping through, all without making anymore eye contact with you.

Tai followed, although stopping in front of you. “Don’t hurt her anymore than you already have.”

You watched her go the same way Van had gone. You wanted to leave, to run back to your home and stay as far away from her as possible. But you weren’t going to make the same mistake twice.

“You heard what Van said. At least, I think you did. Let’s go.” Shauna said, leading the way.

You spent the next forty minutes reuniting with Misty, Nat, and Lottie. Soon enough, you found yourself alone with Van. You were supposed to be doing one of the therapies on Lottie’s list, but she had encouraged you to ‘find your true self’, which in her opinion, was you with Van.

She was in her truck, looking through her things. You walked over, silently watching her for a moment before she acknowledged your presence. “What do you want?”

“To talk.” You replied.

She scoffed, retreating from her form of treatment to look at you. “Now you want to talk?”

“I’m sorry for everything. Truly, Van.” You tried.

“How am I supposed to believe you? After you abandoned me?” She asked.

“I didn’t abandon you! Well, at least not at first. My parents sent me to a conversion camp after they found out about us. I’m sorry for not calling after that, but it really messed me up. It made me think the opposite of what I felt and it made me do the opposite of what I wanted to do. Which was to be with you.” You explained, watching her hopefully.

“I knew you went somewhere, but that was like two months after the crash. Why didn’t you call before?” Van countered.

“My parents didn’t let me use the phone for a while, and that let the thought get into my head that you didn’t want to see m. That I would bring back the pain of the wilderness.” You said, fighting back tears.

Van paused, staring at you carefully. “You were what made the wilderness bearable. You stopped the pain, you didn’t cause it, or bring it back or whatever. I just wish you had known that.”

“Well I know it know.” You commented. “If you ever feel comfortable giving me another chance, whether it’s friendship or more, I’m going to try harder this time. I promise you that.”

She looked at you thoughtfully before going back to her task. “You’re still the same, you know.”

“What do you mean?” You tilted your head slightly in confusion.

“Well for starters, you look great.” She responded.

You let out a relieved chuckle. “Not too bad yourself, Palmer.”

“Secondly, you’re still the girl I was in love with.” Van said.

“Same goes for you. Actually, you’re an even better version of her, from what I’ve seen so far.” You replied.

You can tell it takes a lot in her not to let out a snarky comment. “Thanks.”

“‘Course.” You smiled slightly as she glanced back at you.

“You married?” She asked as if it was a casual question.

You took a breath in. “Nope. Never have been. You?”

“Same here.” This surprised you. She was one of the most beautiful women you had ever seen, if not the most. The scars just added to it.

“What do you for work?” You questioned, trying to break the remaining tension.

“I own a video store.” She told you.

“That’s a Van Palmer job if I know anything.” You laughed, leaning against the truck.

She gave a small smile in return. “How ‘bout you?”

“Boring office stuff. I couldn’t even tell you what I do.” You answered.

“You?” She sent you a suprised grin.

You shot her back a confused look. “What?”

“It just doesn’t seem like a you job to me.” She shrugged.

“What’s a me job?” You watched her go through her glove compartment.

“I don’t know.” She rolled her eyes playfully. “Something special. Not rotting in the corporate world.”

“Do I look rotted to you?” You gestured to your own body.

She looked you up and down. “Just a little.”

“Wow,” You giggled, “still mean, I see.”

“I am not mean.” She declared. “Just candid.”

“Sur.” You nodded, crossing your arms.

“I need to tell you something.” Van said suddenly.

You knotted your brows together in confusion. “Yeah?”

“Well I don’t really have to, but I just need to tell someone. I was gonna tell Tai, but couldn’t. I need you to know.” She said worriedly.

“Van, what is it? You can tell me anything.” You responded with.

“This isn’t easy to say, so I don’t know why I’m saying it, but… I have cancer.” She looked up at you with an unreadable expression on her face.

Well maybe you could’ve read it better if you weren’t so taken aback. “What?”

“Really bad cancer.” She added as if it was supposed to help.

“Oh my God. Are you okay?” You asked like you weren’t internally beating yourself up at staying away for so long. You shouldn’t have stayed away anyway, but this just made it worse.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, I just can’t keep it everyone. I need someone to know in case I straight up die randomly.” She looked away.

“This isn’t funny.” You replied.

“I’m sorry, it’s just a good way to get my mind off things. Being my extraordinarily funny self, I mean.” She said quietly. “Thank you, for listening.”

“Of course.” You smiled softly.

The silence after was comfortable, just you watching as Van went through her truck. You weren’t at the place you wanted to be with her, but you were hopefully getting there.

Maybe you missed her a little.

[crisco-babe]

Platonic Yandere!Jackie Taylor

*Headcanons*

Warnings:

Fem!reader (technically, but there's no pronouns used so can be read as GN), Manipulation, toxic friendship, Jackie lowkey, highkey in denial about everything, destruction of property???, swearing, gaslighting, emotional abuse, implied physical abuse, a bit of angst, anything I missed, let me know!

*Pre!Wilderness*

Jackie is not obsessive!

Can she be a bit controlling? Sure, but that's not a bad thing! She's a natural born leader. Headstrong. Confident. A good, no, a great friend that just wants the best for you!

She's only ever wanted to help you. Has only ever wanted to take you under her wing, like Shauna, and mold you into the best version of yourself.

So when you say you don't like soccer and don't want to join the Yellowjackets, it's simply because you're just scared of not being good enough, that's all!

Don't worry! She makes sure to come over after school with Shauna and help you practice every day until you're comfortable trying out again.

When you ask to take a break, panting and sweating as you let yourself fall onto the grass. Jackie isn't being mean when she tugs and pulls at you. She's being motivational, she's not letting you give up on yourself.

When Shauna tries to get her to "dial it back a bit" it's just because she doesn't understand. She doesn't get what you need.

And sure, she could have been a bit nicer, a bit softer with the way she played, but how would you learn? How would you become a true YellowJacket?

Luckily, it only takes two or so weeks before you're willing to tryout for the team again! All the sweat, tears and accidental bruising paid off!

She may not be the captain of the team yet, but she can very persuasive.

Don't worry, there's always a spot open and ready for you to take, even if that means pushing out a weak link to make room.

Freshman, sophomore and junior year go by rather smoothly.

Sure, sometimes you guys aren't fully on the same page. There's one or two petty fights here and there, sometimes with you, sometimes with Shauna.

It's usually about Jackie being too "pushy" or whatever, but it's simply because you're just not seeing the big picture.

You just didn't understand how hideous that shirt really was. Yeah, yeah, your aunt bought it from Paris as a gift, but that doesn't mean you have to wear it.

And yeah, she's gets that you were "really into" them, but if they really liked you, they would have taken that prank letter she got Shauna to write pretending to be you with a grain of salt. Jackie would have forgiven it.

Regardless though, much to her dismay, fights with you were different then her fights with Shauna. With her all it took was an apology, maybe even a few days of distance for the bigger disagreements and then Shauna would come back, tail tucked between her legs and apologetic

But with you, she has to try a little harder then she deems fair. If she's controlling, it's only because you're so fucking stubborn!

She doesn't like how comfortable you seem to be without her, without her guidance.

The way you seem to be almost relieved when you are given space to 'cool off' really annoys her.

She hopes using Shauna as leverage is enough to have you getting over it. That you'll realize how easy life is when you have them by your side.

"Who's side are you even on, Shauna?"

Sometimes though, the Shauna card isn't enough and she has to resort to actually coming to you. Even when she shouldn't. Even when it's not even that big of a deal.

"Come on, we're a team, remember?" She'll even let one of Jeff's more tolerable friend's flirt with you just to sweeten the deal.

Most of the time, that's enough.

But for those rare, and few and between fights that happen where it isn't...

Well, she has to get a little more creative, a little more personal.

Her critiques are more frequent and a little harsher during practice

Soon she starts forgetting to invite you to team meetings

notebooks start disappearing before study sessions, your bag once rips open on the way home from school. Your car starts stalling every morning..

It rarely gets to this point but that doesn't mean she'll hesitate to take it there when she needs too.

By the time Senior year rolls around, you and Shauna are content in your roles. Life is easier with Jackie in your corner.

You still hate soccer, still hate prep rallies and keg parties with Jeff and his buddies, but you'd never tell her that.

You're hoping with college, you'll be able to grow some much needed distance

Jackie has of course already decided where you'd all be going, her and Shauna sharing a room the first year, you and her the second.

You told her you'd applied, hoping to buy yourself time to hear back from the colleges you actually applied for

'One more year' The thought both a mantra and a prayer

Jackie hadn't been too bad the past month or so, preoccupied with nationals and Jeff.

You hoped your "misplays" would be enough to stop from getting into nationals. That they'd be small enough to miss her radar but significant enough to slow down the game.

You loved the other girls, truly, but the idea of having to get on a plane and spend even more time with Jackie made your stomach churn.

Unfortunately, your teammates picked up your slack easily.

That doesn't mean that in between the cheering that Jackie didn't make sure to send you a glare of disappointment.

"You really gotta focus." She said sternly, Shauna - like always - stuck in the middle, tension thick around you all. "Do you need some extra practice time?"

The small scar above your knee throbs at her words. Even Shauna starts to shift uncomfortably.

"No, I was just a bit nervous." You try to keep your tone casual, try not to flinch back when Jackie moves closer and lets a hand fall onto your shoulder in what you assume to be understanding. "I promise, it won't happen again."

Jackie sighs, fingers digging into your shoulder just for a moment, just enough for you to feel the meaning of it before she moves back, arms folding as she leans against a locker.

"You're right, it won't."

Jackie knows she can be a bit rough with you, a little too harsh. But it's just because you need it more.

Shauna's always been more fragile, like a bird with clipped wings.

You have always been stronger, have always been able to handle more

It's one of the things she loves most about you. Your fight for freedom, your willingness to be better.

But it also means sometimes having to pull you back. It's for your own benefit, even when it doesn't feel that way.

Even when it hurts

What kind of friend would she be if she didn't help, didn't mold, you into being the best version of yourself?

It's all for you, it's always been just for you..

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A/N

Hi all, this was suppose to be both pre and during wilderness Jackie, but it would have been mega long so I'll post part two at a later date. Also wanting to write for all the yellowjackets, but we shall see...

Also first time writing in two years so be gentle!!!

Hope you enjoy! Feel free to message me about anything, happy to answer any questions!

Love Ya!!!

[beetlearmand]

locking armand and misty quigley in a room together...just to see what happens :)

they would be such a pair tbh. not that they would necessarily get along, but they remind me of each other in a lot of ways and i love a character who does fucked up shit out of desperation for (and an obsession with) feeling loved and needed and in control. all because they've had these things neglected or stripped from them in their youth and they continue to feel that way, even in cases where it's not true at all. they end up thinking the only possible way to make sure they are loved and needed and in control is by, well, taking things into their own hands. trying to manipulate and control how they're perceived, ensuring that others continue to need them in order to avoid rejection and abandonment. and of course they feel the need to go for the most surefire routes in order to avoid failure in their endeavors... misty seems a bit less motivated by a fear of abandonment than armand, though she does quite desperately want to be liked and accepted as part of the in-group, as well as loved romantically and platonically.

they're also both such curious people, very outwardly so when they're teenagers. curious to the point where it's concerning and often disturbingly cruel, even when it's involving or directly affecting someone they care about. they're especially cruel to the people they care about when they feel rejected in any way. though i don't believe they ever wish true, permanent harm on those they love but still hurt. not that they aren't capable of it, because lord they are and they do, but i don't think it's ever a true desire of theirs even when they act out (debatable). and when faced with the death of those they care for, their calculated mask falls and they are simply human. or simply just a kid. panicked and confused and angry. guilty and in denial.

they both have their little..."hobbies" and things. medical interests... weirdos. theater nerds. nerds in general lol. they like philosophy. umm torturing someone in your house for several days while also flirting with them?? they both need someone in their life to see them for who they are, not what they appear to be. someone who challenges them while also accepting them as they are (god give misty an asshole girlfriend already im so serious she needs it). curly bobs all around. oh i think teen misty would also definitely want to see what happens when you microwave rats and cockroaches so there's that. and if armand (and louis) hadn't become so smitten with daniel, he would have also captured and killed the reporter he thought was trying to spill all of his dirty secrets and put people he cares about in danger. mistyyyy you could have just stalked jessica for a while until you guys started a toxic, sexually charged situationship that slowly turned into love 😔 also armand would eat that mf elijah wood is playing.

their personalities are vastly different, but on the inside? these guys kinda get each other. this is honestly just me rambling about things off the top of my head that i've noticed since i just caught up with season 3 of yellowjackets, but you best believe i will be on the lookout for more misty armand parallels when i rewatch. i'd also just like to analyze misty's behavior a bit more since this is just based on my first watch through. i could honestly go way more in depth with legitimate examples buttt for now you just gotta like trust me bro. misty quigley trust i am so fascinated by you.

[canary-prince]

Poems I Associate With Various Yellowjackets Characters

I'd make edits of them if I was motivated enough. I can't find one I like for Mari and I have a single stanza I like for Akilah but wish something more substantial and had showed up for her. If you guys are into poetry, feel free to make suggestions.

Shauna: deeply-rooted, Spider Perry, full text

mugwort and the water boils red willow and the sickle harvests pennyroyal and the sun dries juniper and the tea steeps wild carrot drink deep, drink up silphium we will hold you through it black cohosh until you rise from your bed of blood Natalie: To The Young Who Want To Die, Gwendolyn Brooks, full text

Sit down. Inhale. Exhale. The gun will wait. The lake will wait. The tall gall in the small seductive vial will wait will wait: will wait a week: will wait through April. You do not have to die this certain day. Death will abide, will pamper your postponement. I assure you death will wait. Death has a lot of time. Death can attend to you tomorrow. Or next week. Death is just down the street; is most obliging neighbor; can meet you any moment.

You need not die today. Stay here–through pout or pain or peskyness. Stay here. See what the news is going to be tomorrow.

Graves grow no green that you can use. Remember, green’s your color. You are Spring.

Lottie: Crepuscule, e.e. cummings, full text with modified formatting

I will wade out until my thighs are steeped in burn- ing flowers I will take the sun in my mouth and leap into the ripe air with closed eyes to dash against darkness in the sleeping curves of my body Shall enter fingers of smooth mastery with chasteness of sea-girls Will I complete the mystery of my flesh I will rise after a thousand years lipping flowers and set my teeth in the silver of the moon

Misty: Me Up At Does, e.e. cummings, full text

Me up at does

out of the floor quietly Stare

a poisoned mouse

still who alive

is asking What have i done that

You wouldn’t have

Laura Lee: Queen of Swords , Judy Grahn, brief quote

She is veiled You can only see part of her at a time-- a crescent, like the moon. Even so, she is so luminious she hurts the eyes.

Van: Death Comes To Me Again, Dorianne Laux, full text

Death comes to me again, a girl in a cotton slip, barefoot, giggling. It’s not so terrible she tells me, not like you think, all darkness and silence. There are windchimes and the smell of lemons, some days it rains, but more often the air is dry and sweet. I sit beneath the staircase built from hair and bone and listen to the voices of the living. I like it, she says, shaking the dust from her hair, especially when they fight, and when they sing.

Taissa: Let July Be July, Morgan Harper Nichols, full text

Let July be July

Let August be August

And let yourself be

Even in the uncertainty

You don’t have to fix everything

You don’t have to solve everything

And you can still find peace and grow

In the wild of changing things

Akilah: Tea, Leila Chatti, single stanza

I can barely get out of bed. So I make tea. I stand at the window while I wait. My feet are cold and the radio plays its little sounds. I do the small thing I know how to do to care for myself. I am trying to notice joy which means survive. I do this all day, and then the next.

Jackie: a girl is asked about herself for the first time, Spencer Wollan, full text

i was at the dinner table the first time someone told me, “God does not exist.” I haven’t had a dream since then.

sometimes, i imagine dying like it’s a good magic trick—sometimes, i imagine dying and it feels like driving home

often, i want to pry open the mouth of a lion cut out her tongue, and wait for her to fight back with just teeth

what i mean to say, is i’m nothing to scream about. nothing to shine a light on or give a pair of hands to.

what i mean to say, is i’m just another way out of the ocean.

what i mean to say, is i drove home from my own baptism fully believing i had just narrowly escaped drowning.

Mari:

Travis: If I Never See You Again, Charles Bukowski, full text with intact formatting

If I never see you again I will always carry you inside outside

on my fingertips and at brain edges

and in centers centers of what I am of what remains

Melissa: Her Kind, Anne Sexton, full text with slightly modified formatting

I have gone out, a possessed witch, haunting the black air, braver at night; dreaming evil, I have done my hitch over the plain houses, light by light: lonely thing, twelve-fingered, out of mind. A woman like that is not a woman, quite. I have been her kind. I have found the warm caves in the woods, filled them with skillets, carvings, shelves,    closets, silks, innumerable goods; fixed the suppers for the worms and the elves:    whining, rearranging the disaligned. A woman like that is misunderstood. I have been her kind. I have ridden in your cart, driver, waved my nude arms at villages going by,    learning the last bright routes, survivor    where your flames still bite my thigh and my ribs crack where your wheels wind.    A woman like that is not ashamed to die.    I have been her kind.

Callie: The Girl With Antlers, Ansel Elkins, First stanza

I tore myself out of my own mother's womb. There was no other way to arrive in this world. A terrified midwife named me Monster and left me in the pine woods with only the moon. My mother's blood dripped from my treed head.

In a dream, my mother came to me and said if I was to survive I must find joy within my own wild self.

When I awoke I was alone in solitude's blue woods.

[gonzo-rella]

Headcanons: Charlie Dalton, Neil Perry and Todd Anderson Taking Care of Their Sick S/O

MASTERLIST | AO3 | KO-FI

Relationship(s): Charlie Dalton x sick!gn!reader (romantic), Neil Perry x sick!gn!reader , Todd Anderson x sick!gn!reader (romantic)

Warnings: The reader has a cold so... yeah. Also, since I'm sick myself, my brain isn't really working at it's normal level so apologies for any mistakes! (Let me know if I need to add any)

(A/N: Unfortunately I'm still sick (it's only been a few days). Fortunately, I'm still motivated to write headcanons to get me through this relatively mild illness (and I'm starting to feel better)! I've got a Todd one-shot draft that I started a year ago and never got around to finishing, so here's my first offering to the Dead Poets Society fandom. I'd love to write more for it, both reader-insert and not. I'm not sure if I'll end up writing any more sick fics (I've already written hcs for Yellowjackets and Abed Nadir and Annie Edison from Community) since I should be better soon, but if you're still interested check out my fandom list and requesting info and feel free to send an ask!)

CHARLIE

Charlie will jokingly tell you that you’re disgusting.

If you’re not amused by that, he’ll awkwardly but sincerely apologise, his mortification thinly veiled.

He isn’t entirely sure what the hell to do to make you less sick.

(He'll have to consult his more medically knowledgeable friends for advice)

He will ask you if you want him to kiss it all better.

(And he will not hesitate to kiss you when you give him the go ahead)

Suffice it to say, he does not care all that much about getting sick himself.

(A small part of him hopes that he does get sick so you'll have to take care of him)

He will spend so much time with you, you’d think you were dying.

He will also get you anything you ask for (even if it has no clear use in making you physically better- he just wants to make you happy).

If his earlier attempt at joking doesn't work, he'll still persist in cracking jokes and making you laugh to make you feel better.

(If your laughter causes you to break out into a coughing fit, though, he will feel awful).

NEIL

Neil knows exactly what to do.

He may not like his dad's dream of him becoming a doctor, but damn he has such a knack for looking after you.

He makes sure you’re drinking enough fluids and taking any medicine you need to take.

No matter how disgusting you might get, Neil is completely unfazed the whole time.

If anything, he'll find it funny and try to keep you in as high spirits as possible.

If he does mind getting sick, he certainly doesn't show it.

For example, he doesn't hesitate when kissing you on the cheek or forehead.

He loves you so much that it really won’t matter to him if you can- or do- get him sick.

He’ll regularly ask you if there’s anything that you want or need, and if you’re comfortable, and if you’re too hot or cold.

It’s evident that he cares about you getting better.

He’ll sit at your bedside and try to take your mind off of how you’re feeling.

But, he will insist that you need to rest up, so when you’re asleep or trying to fall asleep he’ll be as quiet as humanly possible to make sure he doesn’t wake you up.

If he does end up waking you, he’ll feel terrible about it.

He’s so loving and caring anyway, but especially when you’re sick.

TODD

This guy is fucking terrified.

He assumes that anything he does will only make you sicker.

A small part of him is convinced you will die under his care.

So, he begs Neil for advice, and Neil humours him so that Todd doesn’t drive himself nuts.

Todd will regularly ask you if you need something, and he’ll repeatedly offer you whatever Neil advised him about.

He’s also completely torn between his innate desire not to get himself sick, and his deep love and affection for you.

So, please don’t get upset with him if he recoils almost every time you cough and sneeze, because he does spend as much time as he possibly can at your bedside.

Speaking of which, Todd sits at your bedside like a loyal golden retriever.

He’ll hold your hand (internally panicking about your high temperature, of course) and place the occasional kiss on the back of it.

He’ll also read some of his poems, works in progress and completed, out to you, and he’ll make sure to pick plenty that are about you specifically.

Sure, he’s nervous, but you love his poetry and all he wants to do is reduce how terrible you feel.

[beerofmight]

Injured type of love

Short disclaimer: this is my first fanfic I ever wrote, I was thinking should I publish it and then I told myself screw it what is worse that can happen, feel free to give me some advice because I have absolute no experience in this, I hope you will enjoy and I haven't done it too bad. <3

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it was a warm Friday, normal day for y/n, most basic boring day at school but y/n was looking forward to see one person from his class, Natalie Scatorccio. He had crush on her for long time, he heard a lot of awful things from other students but he didn't believed in that and used to defend her whole time.  Y/n was a player for male team with Ben as coach, so it wasn't pretty common for them to have practice together with yellowjackets. Y/n spent day trying to figure out how to be with Nat more outside school, maybe he can ask Lottie when is that party she was talking, even that he wasn't guy that goes to parties he wanted to try everything just to reach Natalie. Day passed fast and y/n was ready to go to practice.  Ben whistles "Alright boys, its Friday and we don't have a game on Sunday so I wanted to enjoy a little, lets play against yellowjackets,  I'm going to coach Martinez, if something happens Misty is watching over there, don't be to harsh and enjoy".  y/n have to do something new if he want to impress Nat. y/n found his motivation and with few easy dribbles he was again one on one with Van, this time he faked shot, passed next to them and scored easily. Yellowjackets equalized result, Nat founded Jackie open and she scored, y/n looked at her and she smiled to him, next possession for y/n team was a corner kick, y/n blocked van , but after he felt hands on him and *BOOM he bumped his head on woodwork, on the floor his vision was blurred and his head hurted like someone hitted him with baseball bat, his vision returned and he saws Natalie tearing face and Misty, y/n told them he is fine, but as he tried to get up, wave of dizziness was there. "are you sure you are alright" Misty asked, "I am feeling dizzy a little", "that's not a good sign y/n, I think it would be best if we take you to the locker room and I can see what's wrong" Misty commanded Lottie and Van to take him to locker room, y/n saw Laura lee comforting Nat, poor girl blamed herself for what happened. In the locker room, Misty diagnosed Y/n have concussion, not that bad but still he wasn't able to run anymore. Lottie proposed that y/n rest for some time and she can drives him back home, after practice y/n heard door opening, firstly Laura Lee entered

"hey y/n are you feeling better, you hit your head hard we were all scared"

-"yes Laura im feeling a bit better, Misty gave me some medicine".

"Thats nice to hear, anyway someone is here to see you, can i bring her here?" who is there y/n asked himself, but then he recognized black jacket and blue hair, Nat was running to hug him, but her eyes were red, was she crying?

"Y/N im so so so fucking sorry, I never wanted to hurt you! Im so fucking sorry, is there something i can do to apologize?

-"hey Nat, it's ok it's not your fault"

"but i pushed you, oh my God im so stupid.."

-"i told you it's not your fault, you didn't mean to push me direct on woodwork, you wanted to keep me away from goal"

"hey y/n, now that we are alone i have something to confess. I know i always act grumpy around and you maybe think that I hate you and I'm really sorry, I always hear other kids talking bad things and I thought if I am too close to you they are going to talk shit about you too and I wanted to keep you safe, I always feel that I'm only hurting people, thats why I push them away from me, you are just like Lottie always trying to be kind to anyone and I really adore that.

-"wow, that makes sense, thank you for telling me this Nat and you are not hurting people, Van always told me how you defend her always and Lottie told me that I'm right about your brighter side which is not shown because this shitty school and shitty town. If you are not going to talk with me in school, can we maybe hang out more after, somewhere more private."

"we can try, but first lets take care of you today, Lottie is outside waiting in her car, we can drive you back home"

-"That would be nice, I think i have empty house until monday so if you want you can stay, I hate empty place and silence"

"that would be nice, I didn't wanted to go home anyway.

Lottie was really out waiting in her car, they had a slow ride back home, without music because Misty said y/n can be sensitive more than usual on louder voices or lights, when they arrived, y/n leaned on Nat and she carried him to couch. They realized that there isn't much things to eat, so Nat ordered pizza, they were lying in blankets in dark, Nat asked:

"I have a question y/n, I always see you hanging with 2 persons mostly, not messing around on parties and not messing around with girls, do you have girlfriend? I'm sorry if its too personal I-I just wanted to know."

-"I don't have that much friends to be honest, outside of school I spend more time with coach Ben than other people, some girls think that I'm attractive but their behaviour is just so bad, you act like you are going to kill someone but atleast i know you wouldn't go around just judging everyone, so no i don't have a girlfriend. thanks for offering help today, that pushed me back in reality and I know that some people actually care. Nat noticed y/n teared a bit and went to hug him immediately.

"thanks for opening yourself y/n, thanks for trusting me, if it makes you feel better, I feel almost same as you, the reason I always look like I want to kill someone and Im not opening to anyone, I was with one boy from baseball team, stupid baseball team, he acted like he care, until he took me to a party and get me drunk, then slept with me and then news spread around that I slept with whole baseball team, I haven't go to school in weeks and people started looking at me like I'm some kind of animal. Then you came into my life and I didn't want to hurt you." They both had troubles in their life but founded comfort in each other on unexpected way.

"Nat, I haven't had my first kiss yet, do you want it?" Nat lowered her face and gently kissed y/n's lips when she heard soft snoring, maybe Mistys medication ruined the moment, but she is glad that y/n will rest and they will continue tommorow. As sun rises y/n slowly opened his eyes feeling so much better from yesterday, thinking about his crazy dream where he kissed Nat, when he felt hands on his hips, he jumped out of bed screaming, Nat opened her eyes when she saw y/n jumping from bed.

"Y/N whats wrong heyyy what are you doing?"

-"I thought this was dream, i remember hitting my head yesterday but rest of the day felt like dream, wait it wasn't a dream?"

"no dude, seems like medication really hitted you, but Im glad you are feeling better." y/n blushed like tomato

-"so that means you kissed me, does that mean you would like to be in relationship with me?"

"of course sweetheart, I couldn't choose better person than you"

-"thats so nice to hear, you know I don't care what other people say you are mine now and no one can hurt you, you can always come to this place and if girls have some problem with that..."

"we have time to talk about it with girls, we have 2 days of weekend let's not think about future for today anymore. You still have to rest I want to make sure you are alright"

y/n returned to bed when he felt grip of Nat soft hands, they continued cuddling with some boring tv show in the background, at this moment nothing was important, it will turn out girls accepted them better than they thought

[acidrcins]

did you hear the latest scoop ? we’ve got a new student joining us ! a little birdie told me that they’re called CHAE SEORI, but they kinda remind me of BAE SUZY — don’t ‘cha think ? you’re probably thinkin’ they’re just another TWENTY-SEVEN year old in their FIRST year of some MASTER'S DEGREE IN BIOCHEMISTRY , but wait ‘till you hear about their POISON GENERATION ! nifty, huh ? they’re pretty PRINCIPLED on nullivi, but you should watch out for their VINDICTIVE just in case ! anyway — if you wanna check them out, i heard they’re staying at the YELLOW HALL. oops ! you didn’t hear that one from me !  ༊*·˚

hello, i'm liv and v excited to b here! im a sl*t for anything superpower related and im also still off that gen v high so very excited to be here! all i can offer is this intro post, which i hope covers all the Key Aspects of miss chae seori. if i may summarize, shes just trying her best to be a good person while making questionable decisions and internalizing everything bad that her family has ever said abt her ‪♡‬ a cate dunlap wanda maximoff dupe rly

do like this post if u would like to plot because i would LOVE to and i much prefer d*scord hehe

also tw for mentions of nausea

𖥸 ─ basics

chae seori (often seen with gloves and a mask)

scorpio sun, pisces moon, scorpio rising

born 12 november 1996 in a small town in the outskirts of seoul 

currently a first year masters student, studying biochemistry & living in yellow hall

makes poison out of her fingertips & can infect those through physical contact or through air (if in close proximity)

there have been rumours going around that seori is able to give a kiss of death but she would like to debunk those rumors! her lips are harmless really its just the air around her

big on wearing patches but she wont tell you. will make u guess whether she has one or not. (justifies by saying shes just having fun)

𖥸 ─ personality

tl;dr morally grey girl, who's trying to prove herself as a good person (but it's hard when your powers are literal poison). a little bit of a manic pixie dream girl too

positive: principled, collected, intuitive, charming, inquisitive

negative: reticent, elusive, vindictive, temperamental, self-centered

alignment: chaotic neutral (the only principles she follows are the ones she sets for herself)

character inspirations: heavily inspired by gen v's cate dunlap, the hunger games' finnick odair, mcu's wanda maximoff, looking for alaska's alaska young, yellowjackets' natalie

archetypes: the vixen, the philophobic, the antihero

associated aesthetics: shades of gray, smiles that don't seem to reach your eyes, making questionable decisions but finding ways to justify them to yourself, dark eyes and darker nights, flirtatious touches with a hint of danger, red lipstick, unexplained headaches and waves of nausea

in control of her emotions but has tendencies to lash out. she is working really hard to be a good person!!! (by her standards) (she is thisclose to just saying fuck it and just embracing that she is a Villain tho pls someone enable her)

but she can get very resentful lmfao (example A: in her most recent biochemistry class, she told herself urself it was ok that the guy in class just mansplained a concept that she had already understood in middle school but then also gave him a wave of nausea once class ended because he was so fucking rude and deserved it)

keeps up a facade of being coquettish and flirtatious ( i never watched doona but that was the vibe i got from her gifs lmfao ) i think she can be quite charming tbh the queen of breadcrumbing ‪♡‬ keep them close enough, but never enough to touch. it's sort of a coping mechanism. safe space where no one can see what a shit person she really is and how she doesnt really deserve love

no one really knows much abt her and she intends to keep it that way

heavily motivated by wanting to know more! generally the kind of person who would conduct wild ass experiments or "would you love me if i were a worm" i kinda picture it like how finnick in catching fire is like he's paid with secrets!! same vibe with seori :D

𖥸 ─ background

pretty ordinary life growing up. parents are not particularly rich but they don't struggle either. happy small town family ‪:)

shit hits the fan when shes twelve and her brother is fourteen and they find out hes an anomaly. superhuman strength and speed. finds out after he saves a dog from getting hit by a car

if it had been anyone else, perhaps, they would've been the town's outcast but because it's her older brother, all conventional good looks with conventionally lauded powers, they worship him. he becomes the town's superman, girls come up and take pictures with him, he even gets featured in the town parade and seori is just there in the shadows

it gets even worse two years later when she finds out shes also anomaly! but unlike her brother, seori causes an incident of projectile vomiting after a particularly envious moment where her family forgets her birthday and instead, spends the day with her brother. it is messy and disgusting and it happens in the town center. no one forgets. and seori is no longer there in the shadows, she's actively cast out, whispers about why she cant be more like her brother and this is why anomalies should not be given rights

it takes seori some time to figure out her powers but she gets the hang out of it. not that it matters lol shes the black sheep, the 'villain' because goddamn shes literal poison. even her family treats her that way

she doesn't believe those words until one day she gets into a heated argument with her family. tells her mum that shes a person too and wails her father that no one has called her by her name in years and she's nothing but a stain in their family. they don't deny it and in a fit of rage and hurt and anger, she manages to cause irreversible brain damage to her brother

and that is the moment seori realizes she is the villain everyone talks about and she is the monster (doesnt help that her pupils are dark and her veins are black) !!! not a pretty look (think the monsters in sweet home before they transform kind of vibe) and so she runs

runs and runs and runs to seoul where she gets by on illegal means. she is ashamed of the things she has done (e.g., disrupting the storeowners vision long enough to get food to eat, sent someone into unconsciousness and pretended to be their granddaughter caring for them to get a house to stay, batting doe-eyes to boys who will buy her a pack of ramen) and since then shes actively working on being a better person

swears to keep her feelings in control, only uses her powers when justified (although her moral compass is cracked)

𖥸 ─ wanted connections

thank you if you made it this far! ‪♡‬ ‪♡‬ mwah mwah i appreciate u also i love plotting and just brainstorming so here are some rough ideas but OFC always open to talk !!

friends ! or better yet, friends who only meet late at night and you talk about the stars and your feelings and in the morning you pretend you have no other who the other is

someone who's immune to her....

fellow individuals in #STEM

ok this is really specific BUT what if.. our muses were enemies... and they kissed... and seori's feeling INTENSE emotions and accidentally fucks ur muses' vision up and gives them a headache and she has to pretend like it didnt excite her

she doesnt believe she deserves to be loved, so i would LOVE an angsty first love breakup thing. bonus points if she broke ur muses heart

she accidentally poisons u (she swears its an accident)

u catch her doing some immoral shit and tell her shes not a good person

a sam/cate situation. someone enable her to just fuck it youre not a good person so embrace it!!!

i love angst and antagonism so lets beef (ic)

[xflixer7]

my take on the yellowjacket’s as superhero’s!!

im just doing yellowjackets but i do have some thoughts on other characters that weren’t on the team :DD

shauna as batman i feel like this is a obvious choice if shauna was a superhero i feel like her motive would be more revenge based than caring about saving the city and such blah blah i think that her more masculine identity as batman made the public assume she was a guy and she just kind of rolled with it and didn’t give a shit

jackie would be robin because he goes with batman obviously and he doesn’t do much but he’s good at sitting there and looking pretty

lottie as spider-man i love this take if lottie wasn’t spider man she would definitely be batman which are two very different super hero’s and yet i just think she fits spider man’s dorky little personality and this one just fits ok

even though nats favorite super hero is the flash she would definitely be iron man and she would never admit that the way people online are like “i’m spider-man!!” she feels that way about flash sounds random but makes sense when you think about it also her personality is very tony stark iron man has the coolest suit in my opinion nat IS iron man

tai would be thor one of the most known and charming super hero’s because she is

van would be aqua-man who is my 3rd favorite super hero ever very likable very sweet not as popular as the others but still a good superhero

laura lee would be super woman i know she is written to be with super man but your girl can be independent ok

akila would be captain america/captain marvel because she’s one of the best characters but VERY underrated and likable one of the og’s what a cutie

crystal would be wonder woman and that is me speaking my TRUTH

melissa (hat girl) would be ant man LMFAOOO

mari can be green lantern (my favorite super hero growing up btw)

and gen will be cat woman

[festeringfae]

literally what is going on this is getting to be doctor odyssey levels of feeling like im high

oh that reminds me THAT was the other new episode of tv i wanted to consume asap. hopefully that will be fun coocoo bananas instead of...whatever this is.

"yeah sure, why would i want to know more about being marked for death?" CALLIE THE VOICE OF THE PEOPLE (ME)

how are we 12 minutes into this episode already also i shouldn'tve paused because now i miss summer so fucking bad what the fuck do you MEAN we're skipping ahead and everyone just inferred abt melissa and shauna and we're not having a convo about that or coach or ESCAPE or what's going on with akiylah/lottie/travis, the thing i hate most is that the more i think about it the more EXCEPT FOR THE ESCAPE PART skipping makes sense for all that but the past 2 time skips were SO EGREGIOUS and its only EPISODE SIX like are they thinking 4 has to be their final season? this timeline feels so weirdly rushed i don't GET IT

God Hilary Swank and Joel McHale still aren't even here. which, frankly, GOOD, but Oh My God.

ok i got doctor odyssey cooking, once more into the yellowjackets

you know what? me too, jeff.

u better re callie shauna.

u guys are not cut out for whatever this is.

INCREDIBLE nails tai.

"you know van and i aren't friends like that" WHAT?

God Shauna did you even say emergency?

ok these deranged people judging the other deranged person is very funny in a way that feels unintentional

i love how occasionally it seems like some of the characters are like "wtf is going on in this script?"

tai what do u MEAN she miraculously went into REMISSION!

is birders gonna be relevant? that would be Something

WHAT CHORES. WHAT IS YALL'S DAY TO DAY LIKE. WHY WOULD U SEND MARI AND NOT MISTY, DOES MISTY VISIT, IF NOT WHY IS SHE SCARED OF SHAUNA WHAT IS EVERYONE'S MOTIVATION, why would thry not just wash him with a bucket, how did no one notice he was hiding food, it is SO FUCKINY CONVENIENT THAT WINTER IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.

this misty "plotline" is treading water so hard

oh thank God young Misty

WHEN HAS SHE SEEN HIM

this is so weird he was so eager to live and now we montage complete flip in pov.

honestly the WILDERNESS has gotta be bored now. why isnt young shauna screaminy about wasting food on ben and then he's not even eating he's WASTING IT?

tai i wish i could care like that SOUNDS like a really compelling thing of her being trapped in the spirit world by the other personality, unfortunately i don't trust this show to execute it or delve into it in an interesting way.

WHY IS THE CHINESE RESTAURANT A PLOT POINT U HAVE TO BE SHITTING ME

Lisa???

girl shes going to the LOBBY fucking bring Van up stick Callie in the bathroom or something pass notes

please give me Callie

GOD I LOVE YOU CALLIE YOURE SO FUCKINY SMART

voice recorder queeeeeb

literally what are we doint

why are rhe masks necessary

where did they get that plastic tube

how are you gonna be MAD at AKIYLAH that ben is suicidal

so is shauna a believer now or????? re "we'll get better at it"

mess of a show, MESS.

WHY DO U EVEN WANT TO BEN

WHAT IS EVEN SO BAD ABOUT THIS COMPARED TO THE CAVES

IF YOU WERE WORRIED THEYD MAKE U EAT HUMAN FLESH THAT WOULD BE ONE THING, BUT. SAY THAT IF SO.

shoulda made callie go out to the car tbh

i cannot believe lisa is here

"leave my bike alone" is an insane thing to say

she knows lottie is dead??

she is talking big to someone who saw what she saw

THE AUDIENCE DOESNT EVEN GET TO KNOW WHATS ON THE FUCKING TAPE????

absolutely incredible work Cal

shauna it is NOT an emergency just tell them your kid is smart and youre pissed.

Akiylah better not die here.

girl. yellowjackets. come the fuck on. oh of course, a third eye, Why Not.

im sorry too, Akiylah, for you and Lottie.

natalie just go shoot the man if youre gonna, I'm Tired. whatever. fuck off, fuck all of you.

not a KNIFE

trav i don't even know what im rooting for but like. thanks for making something happen i guess.

or not, fuck off.

i giess i was rooting for this stupid shit not to happen afterall.

if the sun was about to rise they wouldn't need the candles that magically survived the fire

girl jist give HIM the knife if hes so fuckinh eager

did she do it did we have gore discression shot? with magically closed eyes.

ok.

thanks Misty.

remember when Nat was a cult leader everyone thought was a conduit for a deity or whatever.

how the fuck did nat and misty's relationship come back from this.

u didn't even UNTIE HIM like HELLO????

me too Misty. God. oh man and she busted the thingie shes blaming herself for yhis.

why do i feel like this fucker is wlive ORA SHes-- man i fucking wish she HAD bit him over THAT, i hate straight writers, only thinking about HER and what a descicration that is

honestly the thing is the writing is so stupid im pro shauna just because it's something new even tho this is batshit and inconsistent in like 3 different fucking ways

THE WILDERNESS JUST WANTS DEATH BITCH ALL COACH WANTED-- hello?!?!?!?)

honestly i'd be trying to kill adult shauna too wtf do u mean that bitch gets to live, jeff what do u MEAN u read that woman's diary and still love her, again DOES SHE BELIEVE IN THE WILDERNESS OVER THE TIME SKIP AND *WHY* especially because at the end of winter she seemed to believe in natalie at the coronation ceremony thing???

i will say this show is great as a distraction, i haven't thought about how my mom has covid at all until auto suggest brought it up for "coronation"

yj lb

oh my God adult Lottie's death wasn't even on the previously on (unless it was the 1st like 3 seconds before my visuals loaded which honestly seems likely)

bro Jeff's actor doesn't know what he's doing here either

CALLIE

Look at someone making appropriate choices based on limited information!!! (the child)

ok well shauna u could have just said pack a bag and THEN listen to the tape to confirm before u tell a C H I L D and your notably dopey husband (and fellow human being) someone wants to kill them.

(also lol "us" girl they clearly want to kill YOU we have no idea if they give a shit about JEFF AND CALLIE).

I love Ben so much.

Hell yeah Ben cuz u saying that is jinxing u out of u getting old yeller'd

doing this as a montage is A Choice

SHIVERING??? BLANKET??? U ARE NOT BULLSHIT TIME SKIPPING ON ME LIKE YHIS AGAIN YELLOWJACKETS

is misty not allowed to visit coach or something? im still team poison fish if he must die

seriously tho are we once again just gonna time skip once the character dynam--

"it's getting cold at night already" FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

[mrnerdteacher]

A Cosmic Hourglass Half-Full: A Spoiler-Filled List of Everything I Appreciated about "Quantumania"

“So… what’s next… Secret Wars?” As someone whose feelings for the last two Marvel movies can be described as “mixed at best,” I was surprised to find myself uttering these words outside my local Laemmle.

It was 3 pm after a matinee showing of “Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania”, and while I found the movie heavy on the green screen and light on just about everything else, I was already looking forward to reuniting with my college friends for the next entry in ever-expanding Marvel Cinematic Universe.

It was at that moment that it occurred to me: the MCU, for better or for worse, is no longer just a franchise of movies and tv shows. They are cultural events. They are a recurring reason to gather with friends and family, and they give us something to talk about besides climate change and the price of gas. For this reason, attending a Marvel movie is almost like a sporting event. Sometimes, as with the case in Quantumania or Dark World, your team has a bad day. But that doesn’t mean you quit being a fan. It’s just more of a reason to celebrate franchise-defining moments, ala No Way Home or Endgame.

Therefore, in the spirit of optimistic fandom, here is a SPOILER-FILLED LIST OF EVERYTHING TO APPRECIATE ABOUT QUANTUMANIA, in order of appearance. Because yes, we lost this round, but the game definitely had some highlights…

-Jonathan Majors as Kang the Conqueror-

Simultaneously the movie’s greatest strength and most glaring weakness is the way it left you wanting more from the MCU’s newest big bad. Can an actor nail all his lines, even without things like motivation or context? Apparently, yeah. Majors might not actually have much to do in this movie, but you’ll struggle to take your eyes off him.

-Look Out for the Little Guy-

Scott’s post-Endgame memoir has been a running gag in the MCU for awhile now, but seeing Rudd ham it up in a Barnes n’ Noble is joy in its purest form. If this didn’t make you smile, I think you got the wrong theater…

-William Jackson Harper as Quaz, the Telepath-

Yeah, I didn’t know that character had a name either. Still, this Good Place alum delivered the laughs with every line. I think we’d all watch a comedy sitcom set in the quantum realm if Harper was the showrunner.

“Like Stuffing a Turkey”

Whatever discomfort we endured watching Michael Douglas double-fist a pair of gummy worms was paid off in perhaps the greatest “I’ll drive” moment in movie history. I’ve never heard an audience cheer for anything stranger.

All Things M.O.D.O.K.

While Cross’s freakish appearance provided some of the movie’s best visual gags, writer Jeff Loveness also deftly turned Yellowjacket from a D-list villain into one of the most entertaining and memorable characters in the entire MCU. And his death scene? Instant meme material. It was THAT good.

One in a Million Paul Rudds

-Remember that iconic Infinity War moment when Doctor Strange tells Tony that there is literally a one in 14 million chance that Thanos is defeated? Well apparently there’s also a one in a billion chance that Scott keeps his job at Baskin Robbins and never becomes Ant-Man in the first place. That’s pure comedy.

What about you? Which moments saved the movie for you, if even temporarily?

[thereigning-lorelai]

okay guys, let’s do this. it’s a new year and i want to get my motivation back, so it’s prompt time. please send me requests/prompts if you like. i’ll be happy to gif any of the following:

julie and the phantoms (of course. still my main source of inspiration, so if you want to see some jatp content, i’d be more than happy to do it. you know my ships and characters.)

rogue one and/or andor

other shows: 1899, dark, misfits, only murders in the building, yellowjackets

movies (e. g. the mamma mia multiverse—part one, two or glass onion—, interstellar, mad max: fury road, dirty dancing; when i giffed it before or reblogged something in the past, i’d probably be willing to give it a go)

so, yeah. same procedure as every time, just send me an ask (anon is on) or a dm and let me know what you’d like to see. ♥️

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #212: Men of Deadly Pride!

October, 1981

Here they are -- the new Avengers!

But not the New Avengers (the difference is that the hairy monster they have is Tigra instead of Wolverine).

And they are having difficulty.

I don’t know what they did to piss off Galadriel over here (I mean yes I do, she says it right on the cover) but she is kicking their asses.

A dark queen indeed.

Not much to actually say about the cover. Uh, the composition looks neat! There we go. A thing.

So lets jump inside.

Where in a moody dawn scene, Jarvis walks alone through a nearly empty Avengers mansion, little knowing he is being stalked until

RAWWR! IT IS CAT!

Tigra jumps out to do him a startle.

C’mon, Tigra. Be nice.

You’re the only Avenger actually staying in the mansion so try not to terrorize the butler.

And he was bringing you a glass of milk for your breakfast!

Although he says that he’s dealt with a lot of unsettling things and he’s learned to maintain him composure. He didn’t even spill a drop.

Jarvis: “I must say, madame, that I find you rather more unsettling than our previous resident Avengers!”

Tigra: “Oh? You a cat-lover, Jarv?”

AND DON’T FLIRT WITH HIM EITHER TIGRA GEEZ

Poor Jarvis is even allergic to cats which seems to include giant cat women.

Jarvis asks how she got this way, prompting Tigra to give a very laconic backstory that once there was a human Greer Nelson who got almost dead and then the cat-people saved her life by turning her into a cat-person.

Tigra: “And, so, here I am, one pretty kitty! But, c’mon, Jarv, does it matter how I got this sexy?”

Jarvis clarifies that he meant how she got this way as in her upbringing. Like, why you so rude.

I guess I’ll just be grateful that this is just playful Tigra flirtiness as opposed to ‘i must make out with someone 24/7 oh hey a supervillain sure I’ll make you with you’ hypersexuality she’d have while on the West Coast Avengers, in the future.

Elsewhere, Tony Stark is decompressing from his one night stand, Teri. Admiring her very comfy couch, grateful that she’s still asleep so he can sneak out (Tony, you cad), and lamenting being on the wagon. When all that’s left to drink is scotch, bourbon, and half a can of warm, flat Dr. Pepper, you drink that Dr. Pepper if you’re Tony Stark.

Tony calls his secretary to have a janitorial crew clean up after the party and to send up a dozen roses for Teri.

And then he flies out the window as Iron Man, the Man Who Kisses and Runs! as Teri wakes up and is like ‘hey tonykins what the hell was that whooshing sound?’

Tony, you cad.

And elsewhere meanwhile, Steve Rogers wakes up promptly at six o’clock in the damn morning bright as the sun and raring to go. Disgusting. Truly disgusting.

I joked about Steve getting up at 6 to run ten miles and whatever because of him criticizing Beast that time but its sickening to see it in action.

Anyway, after he damn sings in the shower like the perky morning man he is, he bounces out the window to the first Avengers meeting since the roster shake-up, musing how little they know about Tigra and how he’ll have to keep an eye on her because he doesn’t know if she’ll crack under pressure or not.

And then onto, ok wow, we are just having full pages of individual Avengers going about their mornings.

So we’re onto Normal Human Man Dr. Donald Blake reaching the end of the night shift he just pulled at a hospital.

Nurse Wilson pretty blatantly flirts with him (thinking to herself “C’mon, doc! Notice that I’m a woman! I dare you!”). Normal Human Man Dr. Donald Blake doesn’t seem to notice but his thoughts are on her, wishing he could take her out for lunch but that he has important Avengers business.

He then taps his walking stick and transforms into Thor and flies off towards the mansion.

And that brings us to Cresskill where Janet van Dyne aka the Wasp and Hank Pym aka Yellowjacket are going about their morning.

Befitting her blase attitude last issue, Jan just wants to stay in bed longer and cuddle but Hank is desperate not to be late to his first meeting as a newly active Avenger again.

So he’s in costume and ready to go while she’s still choosing which of her many many costumes to wear. Albeit with the ulterior motive that she’s trying to look good for him. She does put in like 90% of the effort into the relationship.

So she’s narrowed her choices down to a red and blue costume and a green and purple outfit that looks like maybe she raided the Green Goblin’s wardrobe. She asks Hank to decide for her.

And he does. In a sense.

He blasts the green and purple number to shreds and yells “Wear the other one!” and when she protests the destruction of her stuff he goes “So what? Like you said you’ve got lots!”

Hmm. We haven’t seen Hank in a while. And he didn’t talk much last issue what with all the Moondragoning. But he’s taken a bit of a level in being a jackass.

And then on the ride to the mansion, the limo gets stuck in traffic.

Yellowjacket: “That does it! You can ride in your blasted chauffeured limo so your two-hundred dollar hair-do doesn’t get mussed -- but I’m flying to Avengers Mansion under my own power!”

And then he ditches. He ditches hard. Leaving Wasp to fly after him begging him to wait.

You’re a bit of a rude, Hank.

Like Hank feared, the two do arrive late to the meeting and he is gently ribbed by sudden class clown Captain America.

Captain America: “Well, look who’s finally here! Now the Wasp has arrived with her new partner -- uh, Yellowjacket, right? We can get started!”

Is funny joke. Its been a time so they’re pretending he’s a new guy and ha ha he’s being described as Wasp’s partner instead of vice versa. What an upset.

And it is an upset. Tigra notices what the other Avengers seem to miss, that Cap’s joke just pissed Yellowjacket off.

And its not helped when Cap mentions that its time to elect a new chairman but Iron Man interrupts to say that he and Thor have agreed that its better for Cap to remain chairman. They did just reorganize the roster and all. Some stability is fine.

Thor: “We choose to waive the elections! Such is our right as founding members!”

And this sets Yellowjacket right the hell off.

Yellowjacket: “Is that so? Well, I resent not being consulted! As the Ant Man I was a founding member, too!”

Iron Man: “uh, of course Hank... you and the Wasp! But you came in late... we’d already decided...”

Yeah! The Wasp too!

But Yellowjacket has some kind of insect in his bonnet and he yells that he’s done being forgotten and treated as a has-been while Janet just silently cringes.  She wonders what’s happened to the man she loves. And why he won’t let her reach him anymore.

The meeting continues but the scene transitions.

To a cottage in an isolated glade among the wooded hills of Virginia. Where the olde talking power couple of Gorn and Linnea wake up. Linnea wants to lay in bed with Gorn a while longer but he decides NAY TIME TO GET UP NOW.

Hey wait.

Hmmm.

I’m sensing... thematic parallels. I’m sure its nothing, though.

Anyway, Gorn is tired of living a quiet idyllic life in a beautiful glade with a woman who dearly loves him, as they’ve done for ten thousand years. His dander is up and he wants battles to fight and glory to win! He’s tired of being safe in the glade, protected by Linnea’s power. He’s a warrior, not a farmer!

(I see no evidence of farming around the cottage, just saying)

And since its either be ditched or go with him, Linnea decides to go with him.

Gorn: “You are beautiful in that gown, Linnea. Men shall again call you Elf-Queen as they did in ancient days!”

Linnea/Elf-Queen: “They also called me witch and devil-spawn! They are ever so cruel to my kind!”

Gorn: “Aye, and once we fled them! This time, if we must, we shall fight them!”

Ah, geez, Gorn. The cover implies this won’t go well for you.

So Gorn and Elf-Queen, him on foot and her on horseback) wander into Washington DC literally looking for trouble.

But before trouble, something to eat. Looking for an inn, they wander into a random restaurant.

Gorn, being Gorn, immediately starts yelling at the maitre d’, who he assumes is the innkeeper.

And here’s a bit of an interesting and not often used touch. Even though all speech bubbles are rendered without <> as is sometimes used to denote someone speaking a different language, Gorn and Elf-Queen Linnea are in fact speaking an ancient language.

Nobody can understand a thing they say.

And they can’t understand modern English.

This is a perfect setup for some farce.

Gorn ends up just yelling that he wants food and the maitre d’ gets the gist even though he doesn’t understand the words. This is Washington DC. A lot of people from other countries wander through. So he shows them to a table.

Linnea and Gorn decide that the maitre d’ is probably the innkeeper’s idiot brother. I mean, that’s probably why he can’t understand normal language, right?

And there’s more culture shock to be had. Linnea is realizing how differently dressed everyone is in this era. None of the men are even wielding swords!

Elf-Queen Linnea: “And the women, Gorn -- ! The way they’re dressed --! Like -- like harlots!”

Gorn: “Aye! Hmmm...” -totally staring at a butt and not paying attention-

Linnea: “Gorn... ?! I-if we stay here... would you like me to dress so? I do not know if I can learn the ways of these women... but for you my love, I would try! Gorn... ?”

Gorn: “Mmm...” -still not paying attention-

Linnea: (Oh, Gorn! For ten thousand years we have dwelt together in solitude, as one in our love! Am I to lose you now, here in this city of temptresses?)

Hmmm.... this reminds me of something.... but what?

A Barry Kaplan interrupts her inferiority anxiety by coming up and trying to hire her as a fashion model.

And neither Barry nor Linnea can understand each other still.

But she senses something of his intentions and warns him that this isn’t a good idea since she’s sitting next to a warrior and all.

Barry is like ‘maybe if I try other languages?’

And then Gorn notices. And Gorn is displeased.

Gorn: “NO ONE TOUCHES GORN’S WOMAN!”

Barry: “I warn you, I’ve had six jiu-jitsu lessons!”

Wow!

So Gorn gets up from that and just bodily lifts the guy over his head (Barry lamenting that he dropped out before jiu-jitsu lesson seven). But if you get the barbarian or warrior dropped into a modern setting trope they’re usually just way better than any soft modern man. So its funny to see this random dink get the better of Gorn, even if its just the preamble to what would have been Gorn delivering a thorough beatdown.

Its just not what you expect to see in this story.

Linnea magics Barry out of Gorn’s hands, trying to defuse the situation but Gorn interprets the situation as her ‘unmanning’ him.

Gorn: “Why, Linnea? Why do you seek to unman me? Is it not enough that your power has preserved my youth and kept me for centuries? Must you now interfere in my battles?”

Linnea meekly apologizes.

And then the maitre d’ comes pissed off that this loud, shouting weirdo started a fight and is going to call the police on them. Until Linnea goes ‘oh right we should pay for the damage we caused’ and gives the maitre d’ a gold and diamond necklace.

And the maitre d’ mentally goes cha-ching and reroutes an order about to be served to give to the big spending non-English speaking weirdos.

When Gorn and Elf-Queen finally leave the restaurant wouldn’t you know it, someone stole their damn horse!

What kind of city is it where you can’t leave a horse tied to a parking meter without someone making off with it??

Linnea once again is like ‘hey lets go home to our nice glade where nobody ever stole our horse’

Gorn: “It is your home, Linnea, where I am but a guest -- nay, a pet kept by your grace. Ages ago, I was a renowed warrior, honored and feared by nations and kings! If I am to be a man in my own eyes I must regain the glory I once knew!”

And then a cop comes up to Gorn because you can’t just carry a sword around Washington DC.

Gorn: “Eh? His words are gibberish but the intent is clear! This blue-clad warrior issues me a challenge! Have at thee scoundr- AHH!”

And then the cop just maces Gorn.

Its not funny like the talent agent tossing him into a salad bowl because: cops. Its still a little funny because: Gorn.

Anyway, while Gorn is screaming and coughing the cop just slaps some handcuffs on him.

And Linnea magics the cop away from her boyfriend and worries over him.

Given this new horrible thing that has happened to them, another in a line of horrible things happening to them once they left their home, Linnea begs Gorn again to give up this quest to fight a random thing to make himself feel manly.

Linnea: “I am so worried, Gorn! The world has grown so strange! There is so much here that we do not understand! Please, let us go back before something terrible befalls us!”

He again refuses and she asks if he would die for his pride.

So he slaps her across the face.

And after all that she’s meekly gone along with his whims and tantrums and whatever else ways to describe Gorn’s exceptionally gornish way of being, she draws the line here.

Linnea: “Go ahead, Gorn -- stay! Win your stupid ‘glory’! I do not care! Farewell!”

And she just walks away into the sky, twinkle, because she can do that.

When she’s too far to hear he whispers an apology but its too late and he sadly trudges off alone into the city.

Wow, that was six pages of just Gorn and Linnea, Elf-Queen. That’s nearly a fourth of the whole issue! We spend a lot of time with these two new characters!

Back at Avengers Mansion, Iron Man and Yellowjacket prep the Quinjet to fly.

Wasp: “You mean we’re going all the way to Washington, D.C. just because somebody there claims they saw a woman walking on air? What’s new about that? I do it every time my sweetie Hank gives me a wink! Then, again, they do have some wonderful stores there! Last time I went there I bought six fur coats!”

Tigra: “Sounds expensive! I’m lucky! Mine’s built in!”

Iron Man chimes in that the air-walking woman also assaulted a cop so clearly this looks like a job for the Avengers.

But when they finish up checking the Quinjet, Yellowjacket says that he’s discovered the ‘sonomodulator circuit’ on his disruptor gun is acting up.

He’s pretty sure he can fix it but Wasp chimes in with a more different idea.

Wasp: “I’ll just ring up Jeeves over at the East Side Penthouse! He can grab one of those doohickies from your lab there and zip right over in the limo! It’ll just take a few minutes!”

Yellowjacket: “You love doing that, don’t you? You love taking every opportunity to flaunt your blasted money! Well, I don’t need your butlers, your cars or your money -- and I don’t need you!”

And Wasp runs off crying that she only wanted to help. Yellowjacket storms into the Quinjet telling the other Avengers to forget Wasp and get going.

Making the other Avengers feel very awkward about witnessing this fight. Cap even feels as if he should do something but doesn’t know what since its a personal matter.

A suggestion? Mandated couples counseling since this kind of thing could affect the team, will be the reason you give? Like. This clearly is something that’s going to cause trouble. Get ahead of it, Cap.

Meanwhile, back in Washington D.C. because yes Gorn didn’t just walk out of the book forever alone. He walked into a very honestly uncomfortably stereotypical gang who decide hey maybe we should mug that guy with the sword, it’ll probably pawn for something.

Gorn still can’t understand a thing anyone says but they’re carrying weapons and finally here’s a situation he understands. And finally he also doesn’t get played for a chump. He just wades into the crowd of six and starts laying them out with his bare hands.

This is what you’d typically see for a warrior type dropped into modern world thing.

Oh and then the cops hear the fight and go hey its that guy with the sword that there was an APB about.

And Gorn goes, hey its guys wearing the same livery of the guy that got me with that stinging vapor. Time to run at them with a sword.

So they shoot him five times.

And he dies.

It turns out that Linnea has been watching Gorn from a distance this whole time, apparently unwilling to actually ditch. So she sees him get gunned down.

She floats down from the sky to his side and realizes that he is already dead. The cops mistake sky woman for an angel (but there was an APB out for Gorn so why didn’t the flying woman warrant a mention?) but if Linnea is, she’s an avenging one.

She turns on the cops with her magic and makes them sink up to their necks into the concrete.

Elf-Queen: “Are you begging? It is for naught! He’s dead! DEAD! My love is dead -- and this city, this world shall PAY!”

And she turns her magic on Washington D.C., blasting a building and a helicopter, lashing out in grief at the world that killed her dickbag boyfriend.

This is when the Avengers finally arrive to the Plot, in this Avengers book.

The Avengers just see someone breaking property and go to stop her.

Captain America: “Avengers... attack!”

Of course, Tony being Tony, and kind of a loose man immediately gets distracted at the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.

Iron Man: “Excuse me, miss! Couldn’t we discuss whatever’s bothering you... say, over dinner at the diplomat club?”

Its... not a bad idea. A little bit of empathy. Its just his motive that’s bad.

And also, his inability to speak ancient languages. Elf-Queen still can’t understand a thing anyone says. She does think a flying man in armor is something Gorn would have liked. But that just makes her mad.

So she magics a railing to wrap up Iron Man.

Thor grabs Elf-Queen from behind, pulling her arm behind her back. Its strikingly reminiscent of the Standard Female Grab Area trope but Elf-Queen doesn’t believe in that trope.

Elf-Queen: “You are strong, jackal! Your strength might have been enough to hold even me -- had you not presumed I was as frail as I appear!”

And she throws Thor into what is probably a monument.

Hmm, Iron Man and Thor got dunked so far because they really underestimated this woman because she’s a woman. Maybe don’t do that?

Meanwhile, Yellowjacket is thinking that this is his chance to prove what a star he is, if he’s the one that takes the threat down with his disruptor blast.

While Elf-Queen distracts herself with the dropped Mjolnir, Yellowjacket tries to shoot her with his disruptor from behind.

But it shorts out again!

Maybe he should have gotten the replacement part instead of trying to jury-rig a repair!

Elf-Queen senses the power in Mjolnir and tries to pick it up to better smash the world but finds she can’t lift it.

She guesses that there’s some enchantment on it since it doesn’t crumble the ground beneath it.

SO

So she magics the ground to form a hand to grab and lift Mjolnir.

And then she hits Thor in the face with his own hammer. Hah.

Another for the list of silly Mjolnir loopholes.

Linnea monologues about her backstory because. Look. She may not be a villain. And people may not be able to understand a word she says. But people in comics have to comic.

Elf-Queen: “I am Linnea, called Elf Queen and great is the power I was born with! It transported my love and me across the ocean to this land ages ago in search of solitude! It preserved our youth! It kept us hidden when civilization spread its taint hither! The forces, forms and sustenance of the world bend to my will -- but all my power cannot help my Gorn now! Now, my gift serves only as a means for vengeance!”

Iron Man manages to tear free of the railing wrapped around him just as Tigra loudly pounces at Elf-Queen.

And Elf-Queen just gestures and sends Tigra flying into the air. High, high into the air. So high, so into the air that Iron Man has to fly after her to make sure Tigra doesn’t end up asphyxiating in space.

With all of the other Avengers out of action (or standing around uselessly like Yellowjacket), Elf-Queen turns out wrath on Captain America.

She blasts a building, sending a whole wall at him.

Cap dodges through the rain of rubble and berates himself. He realizes that he should have attacked sooner but he’s been holding back, trying to figure things out.

She’s speaking a language that doesn’t sound like any he knows of. Her clothes seem to be of ancient design. And he’s wondering if she maybe just popped out of the past, somehow surviving from some age undreamt of.

And hey, relatable, kinda. He spent decades in suspended animation.

Elf-Queen throws a lake of fire between her and Cap and Cap figures hey she’ll expect me to go around. So he jumps over it, doing her a startle.

Cap: “Good! I took her completely off guard! This is a perfect chance -- to show her that we want only peace!”

So he stands in front of her, hands to his side, palms showing. Showing no aggression.

Elf-Queen: “You did not strike when you had the opportunity! I could slay you easily now! Unflinchingly you face death! How like... my Gorn... my brave warrior!”

The fight could have ended here. Could. Could have. Could’ve.

Because Yellowjacket has been focused entirely on fixing his disruptor this whole time and has not paid any attention to how the fight has been going.

So when he gets the disruptor fixed, he doesn’t think ‘oh hey Cap is standing there and nobody is currently fighting!’ he thinks ‘wow this is a really easy shot’ and shoots Elf-Queen in the back.

And turns out that Linnea - a person who can toss Thor around - can also weather a disruptor. So she’s just mad. Furiously.

She figures that Cap’s courage was just a bold ruse. So she’s going to kill him. AFTER she throws a car at Yellowjacket.

Yellowjacket: “Oh, no! My sting’s shorted out again! No time to dodge! I’ll be crushed!”

But before Hank can be crushed like some kind of insect, can’t really think of a specific example, he is saved by Jan, who comes out of nowhere and blasts the car away with all of her might.

And apparently car blasting is under that umbrella.

But it takes it out of her and she weakly flutters to the ground.

Hank has mixed feelings about not being dead.

Yellowjacket: “You -- you saved me! You shattered the truck with your bio-electric sting! You saved me! You! She must have followed us down here... probably chartered a plane! She followed us down here, and when I was dead meat for sure, she saved me! Why her? WHY?”

Where are you in your life where you have to ask that, Hank?

Elf-Queen is like well that just happened but I’m just going to try to kill him again.

But Cap jumps in front of her again and very assertively non-aggressives.

Captain America: “Don’t do it! Don’t you see? It was a mistake -- an accident! If only you could understand me! Don’t kill him!”

Elf-Queen: “You dare stand in my way? Can you not see the rage in my eyes?”

But nonetheless, she subsides. The Avengers all re-assemble, ready to rush her but Cap tells them to stand down.

Elf-Queen Linnea starts crying and just walks away from the team.

Feeling a bit awkward, Cap decides to follow her to see what’s what. And they find her crying over Gorn.

Thor: “A fallen warrior! Her husband, perchance?”

Captain America: “Somehow I -- I think I knew! I mean... I’m not surprised! She seemed... grief-stricken!”

Iron Man: “I -- I wonder how this all came to pass?”

They’ll probably never know. The shot isn’t wide enough to say for sure but I think that if the Avengers saw, they’d say. I’m pretty sure those cops Linnea sank into the concrete have finished sinking. So it goes.

Cap says he’s sorry for what happened, knowing that his words will probably mean nothing to her. Language gap and all.

Linnea: “I hear compassion in your voice, brave champion! Is there such a thing in this cold, cruel place, save in your own heart? I cannot forgive your world for what it has taken from me.. but, for you, who are so much alike my beloved... for you, I will go in peace... for now!”

Yeah. She’s never coming back.

This is her and Gorn’s only appearance.

So despite Tigra wondering if she’ll be back and despite Iron Man’s suspicion that she might be a mutant, it doesn’t matter.

She’s done her role in the narrative and she’s gone.

But as the Avengers try to figure out what this was all about, Wasp looks at Yellowjacket with worry. For the issue ends with him still consumed in bitter thoughts and oblivious to Wasp.

And the big next time teaser says COURT MARTIAL! so. Yeah.

We’re coming on to a storyline that anyone who knows at least two things about Hank Pym knows. You probably already know it or will be able to guess it.

I was familiar with this story but only the moment where Hank shoots Elf-Queen in the back and makes things worse for himself. I hadn’t absorbed via osmosis how much of a shit he was being throughout. And nobody ever talks about Gorn.

Which is a shame.

The title of the issue comes right out and connects the obvious dots.

“Men of deadly pride!”

And that can only be Hank Pym and Gorn.

Much of this issue doesn’t actually feature the Avengers. There’s this long stretch in the middle that just has Gorn and Linnea leaving their home, traveling to the big city, Gorn’s attitude getting worse and worse, and finally his death.

Its clear enough that Gorn represents Hank Pym.

Hank rails against Janet for flaunting her money and emotionally withdraws from her and even becomes angry with her. He rankles at the idea he might be perceived her partner instead of vice versa. Feels he’s not being given the respect he deserves.

While Gorn resents that Linnea is the one caring for him. He emotionally withdraws from her. He perceives himself a pet to her. That he was once renowned and desperately needs to regain his glory.

And he just gets angrier when Linnea has to rescue him from his dumb mistakes.

Much like Jan had to rescue Hank in this issue, something that basically made Hank check out of the rest of the issue.

I don’t know what Gorn may have been like ten thousand years ago that Linnea sees him in Captain America most, but he’s a shadow for Hank Pym.

And what’s interesting is how the story looks at Gorn and his machismo. His obsessive preoccupation with proving himself. The story highlights the problems he creates for himself eventually leading to his death. It shows a person that just can’t live in the modern world.

And then the story looks at Hank Pym. One of the 60s style manly men holdovers. Paints him in much the same light. And seems to ask. “Can you live in the modern world?”

The question is in the air.

Its not particularly deep symbolism. But it surprised me that nobody ever mentions it.

Interestingly, if Hank is Gorn then Jan is Linnea. Their personalities are different enough that this might seem strange.

But they both draw the line in a similar place with their partners.

And there was a What If? based on this issue What If? #35 where Hank did die, much as Gorn did. And Wasp became an avenging angel of her own. Taking the identity of Black Wasp and brutally attacking criminals.

She even contemplates letting Cap be killed by falling debris, blaming him for Hank’s death.

All I can say is that this has been one awkward first day for Tigra.

Follow @essential-avengers​. Like or reblog this post. Stay tuned for more of this sort of thing.

[renzywenzy]

Avengers: Infinity War Review

So after what felt like an eternity, I was able to finally watch "the most ambitious crossover” in film history; albeit, I had to watch it for homework.

I am most likely the last person to ever review this film so I feel as if some significant weight is off my shoulders but that doesn’t mean I’ll resort to lazy critiquing as a movie of this grandeur deserves in-depth analysis.

So with that being said, let’s take a closer look at the initial half of the culmination of a decade’s worth of films and build-up.

*Spoiler Warning*

Pros

1. The Protagonist Perspective

For years, the weakest part of most Marvel Cinematic Universe films have been the villains. Underdeveloped, forgettable, or just plain lame. Go ahead, tell me with a straight face that Ronan was a credible threat. Try to convince me that Yellowjacket was a compelling antagonist. Do you even remember the name of the villain from Thor 2?

The villains didn’t really become interesting until after Civil War in 2016 with people like Killmonger, Egon, and Hela seemingly breaking that curse; but, that meant we had to deal with nearly 8 years of uninspired baddies.

Thanos, however, is the biggest example of the MCU finally getting their main villains right. He’s credible, his character develops throughout the film, he has believable motivations that come from a place of personal experience. And I think what really makes Thanos’ character work is simply this: HE is the true protagonist of the film. Yes, he is still the villain, yes, he is the still the “bad guy” yes, the movie is called “AVENGERS: Infinity War” but if you really think about it, his is the main perspective of the film. He’s the protagonist of this movie just as much as Tony Stark was for his 3 Iron Man movies.

I mean Thanos gets the most character development, he has the most screentime, he makes significant sacrifices, it’s his origins that are explored more, and it’s his journey to getting the Infinity Stones -- not about the Avengers protecting the universe -- that’s front and center. It’s his emotions that matter most in the film. That’s not to say that everybody else’s feelings mean little, it just means that it’s that of Thanos that mean the most.

Let me give you an example. When Thanos, with Gamora, was about to retrieve the Soul Stone, the condition was that he had to sacrifice someone he loved. As Gamora taunted him at the idea that he never loved anyone but himself, Thanos sheds a tear as she comes to the realization that he did love at least one person. The Mad Titan, with visible pain in his face, grabs Gamora as she struggles to break free and then tosses her as sacrifice to finally obtain the Stone.

Now, this scene was emotional and painful. However, to me, it wasn’t so because of Gamora’s death, it wasn’t because the Guardians lost a member, it wasn’t even because Star-Lord lost a loved one. It was emotional and painful because Thanos lost someone he loved and the movie, itself, makes that a point. At that moment as well other moments throughout the film, it’s framed in a way that you aren’t meant to feel for anybody else other than Thanos.

That’s partly the reason why the ending worked but I’ll get to that later on.

2. Maintaining the Balance

There’s a flashback scene early in the film that shows a young Gamora meeting Thanos for the first time as the Mad Titan conquers her planet. He’s impressed by the little one’s grit so he takes her in and their first significant interaction is when he gives her a dual bladed knife and teaches her to balance the knife on her finger. This scene showed two things (1 from a character perspective and 2 from a film perspective): #1 Thanos has an obsession with keeping the balance of the universe  and #2 This is how the filmmakers balance the large cast they have.

There are a LOT of characters in this film. Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Black Panther, the Guardians, Spider-Man, Doctor Strange and so on and so on and so on all the way to so forth. So I can only imagine how difficult it is, from a filmmakers’ perspective, to give the proper amount of screen time for everybody here.

What really helped was how previous movies developed the characters we see on-screen. These characters such as Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America have been given enough time to grow and now, their individual arcs have each reached their full potentials so that means we don’t need to see more development from them. We just want to see them kick some names and take ass (I had to).

I said in my previous point that Thanos had the most screentime of all the main characters. He clocks in at just a little over 29 minutes. In comparison, Iron Man and Thor both have less than 20 minutes with 18 min. and 15. respectively. Cap. America has less than 7 minutes. That’s how little time they actually got in a film that’s over 150 minutes long and yet somehow, some way, the Russo Bros. were able to give each character more than enough to do to make every single second of their screentime count. Not a moment wasted whenever characters showed up and that was key seeing as how huge this cast was.

I applaud the Russo’s for taking on this hefty task and I don’t think anyone (apart from maybe Joss Whedon, director of the first Avengers film) could’ve handled this cast as well as they did.

3. “Strange Alchemy” 

The Russo’s have a phrase called “Strange Alchemy” and they use it to describe the first meetings of certain characters. This is basically how fundamentally different personalities but equally big egos interact with one another for the first time.

I must say that this was one of the aspects I was worried about going into the movie. How do you make the initial interactions entertaining while at the same time, making sure each person stays true to their character?

The answer was actually a simple yet effective formula. (Keep in mind that this isn’t exactly the formula of “Strange Alchemy.” This is what I think they meant.)

The formula is basically this: Meet up in a undesired manner, do some back and forth bantering, mix in just a little bit of conflict of interests, and then top it off with a shared end goal.

Look at the interaction between Iron Man and The Guardians; specifically, Quill. They meet by instantly fighting each other thinking that the other works for Thanos. After their fight is settled by the realization that neither serve Thanos, they eventually start talking, wisecracking, some insults are thrown, and then they butt heads on how to reach their end goal. Both want to defeat Thanos but in their own ways.

Simply put, this formula works for all the initial main character interactions because it’s just how we wanted to see these first meetings play out. You see this same formula repeated with Dr. Strange and Iron Man then Thor and the Guardians. Their first meetings are not only incredibly entertaining but all were appropriate to their characters and most importantly, it’s this “Strange Alchemy” formula that helps establish chemistry right off the bat.

4. Russos + James Young + Action = Gold 

One thing I’ve lauded the Russos for is their style of directing action. The choreography itself is amazing (Thank you, James Young) but the way the Russos present each fight frame by frame is astonishing.

It began with Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I noticed how the hand-to-hand combat became much more complex and it felt like I was watching a tribute to Bruce Lee films while also mixing it in with the over-the-top nature of a typical comic book movie. It all flowed so well to the point that it became distinct. If a Marvel film didn’t have the combination of the Russos directing and Young choreographing, you could notice the decline in quality in terms of stunt coordination. Age of Ultron, for example, didn’t have this combination and the fights were nowhere near as good as The Winter Soldier or Civil War.

What worried me initially was how the Russos and Young were going to choreograph this film in particular. Before this film, the Russos were primarily directing Marvel films wherein the fights were still pretty contained. I mean the biggest fight in Civil War was in an airport with no people (suspiciously). Here, the battles HAD TO BE much larger in scale so it worried me that the Russos and Young wouldn’t be able to capture the same choreographic magic that they had previously. Thankfully, I was wrong. Every film they directed and choreographed before was practice for this film. It all flowed so beautifully and almost every character had their own spot in terms of action.

You can still tell though when the Russos and Young are a little out of their comfort zone. By that I mean they’ve poured so much of their flair into Captain America that it feels like he’s their best source of pure choreography. It’s no wonder Cap has more action scenes than Thor despite having less screen time and that’s because between Cap’s fighting style and Thor’s fighting style, the former is more synonymous with the Russos and Young by now. But Thor still makes an impact even with just a handful of fight scenes.

My only worry is that they won’t be able to top the fights here  with the next film Endgame...but maybe from a tonal perspective, it’s not meant to.

5. Oh..

That ending. That was honestly one of the most shocking endings to a Marvel film (or any film for that matter) that I’ve ever witnessed.

I honestly can’t do justice to this scene but let me just say that it was shocking in the best way possible. It was amazing how the entire film was setting up for that moment so in a way, you can see it happening but it was still so unpredictable on how it would turn out. Will all the Avengers disappear? Will only 2 or 3 of them remain? Will the new guys be around? Will the older Avenger disappear for the newer ones to take their place? Will only the Avengers remain and 90% of Earth gone. Anything could have happened with the Snap and it was certainly a jaw dropping moment seeing them disappear into thin air. Bucky, T’Challa, Peter Parker, Quill, Fury, Wanda, Vision, Strange. All of them and more gone and not just people from Earth. It was half the the entire  universe at stake so even non-Earthlings were in jeopardy. Drax is gone, Groot is gone. It was an appropriate silent moment of just reflecting on what just happened.

And...it was honestly satisfying. Like if the entire film franchise just ended here, I honestly would have been fine with it and that’s largely because of point #1 above. It was so masterfully set up and executed that in my opinion, there’s almost no way that Marvel can satisfyingly bring back all the characters. You know that Endgame will reverse these effects but the problem is that they’ve ended so beautifully that I don’t think the scene where they all come back will ever top this final scene.

Props to Marvel Studios for being mature and having the balls to do this even if they will eventually undo it.

All their Marvel films have had these happy and triumphant endings so it’s just a nice change of pace to see the antagonistic good guys lose and the villainous protagonist win.

Cons

Alright I’ve talked about positives enough so now let’s get into some of the things the movie doesn’t do quite as well. It’s a near 3 hour film with a decade’s build-up so obviously not everything is gonna hit so here are just a few misses. Some of these are just my own little nitpicks but they still bother me a bit so I might as well put them in. Also, I’m gonna do something a bit different for these points where I put in a small sub point after each one.

1. Too Many Chefs in the Kitchen

There were over 15 films leading up to Infinity War and among those films, you had 14 different directors. These directors included the Russos, Kenneth Branagh, Jon Favreau, Taika Waititi, Shane Black, and many more. Each director brought their own style and handled the characters in different ways.

Now, imagine this. You’re the director of Infinity War and you just finished directing Captain America: Civil War, a movie where you further established how gritty you can get with these Marvel films. You’re about to direct Infinity War and now you have to direct the character of Thor who just came from Ragnarok, a complete genre reboot wherein the director made comedy a much more prominent aspect than almost anything else. Ragnarok favored the “ba dum chhh” category jokes rather than the natural flow of jokes found in the Avengers. Remember, you just came from a gritty film and now you have to direct a potential darker film but now you have to insert this sitcom-style character into your grittier style. Easy, right?

You see the Russo Bros. know how to handle sitcom-like characters. They directed episodes of Arrested Development which is one of the greatest sitcoms ever. BUT, they just didn’t know how mix these tones together in one package.

For example, you had the scene with Iron Man and Dr. Strange. They’re scene was much more natural in terms of joking wherein a joke just happened to be there because it was an appropriate moment but it got serious when it needed to be. But then all of a  sudden, you cut to the Guardians where the jokes are more obviously set up and comedy becomes the priority and seriousness comes much much later on. It’s a bit of a jarring shift in tone. However, the biggest elephant in the room is how Ragnarok’s tone was never in this film. Guardians and Ragnarok have two different types of comedy.

Guardians is more like How I Met Your Mother wherein comedy is important and abundant but the rare quiet scenes are put into focus when they pop up and they don’t throw a joke to cheapen the moment.

Ragnarok is more like a Comedy Central Roast show where it’s jokes, jokes, jokes, jokes and almost no ounce of seriousness and anything that should be incredibly serious is made into a set up for a punchline (just watch the ending of Ragnarok where the FUCKING DESTRUCTION OF ASGARD, THE HOME WHERE THEY HAD THEIR MOST PRECIOUS MEMORIES, is reduced to a set up for a joke that’s not even that funny). No significant scene in this film consistently has Ragnarok’s style of comedy which is kind of a good thing in isolation but overall a negative because of how inconsistent the tone has been as a whole.

Sub Point for 1.

Actually, Thor’s films have always been an anomaly. You had the Shakespearean-like tale of redemption with Thor (2011) which was a solid introduction, then you had the utterly forgettable unintended B-movie tribute Thor:The Dark World which nobody will ever ever talk about when it comes to the best Marvel Studio films, and then you had the genre reboot that is Ragnarok which is everything I described in the previous paragraph. Not only that but the endings of each of his films (which all serve as important plot points for future films) are just negated nonchalantly in the next Thor appearance. Don’t believe me? Well...

..2011′s Thor sees the character not being to able to return the Earth because the rainbow road (yes, I’m calling it that) has been shattered but then bam! there he is in Earth in the Avengers like nothing happened. Then The Dark World has Loki faking his death and pretending to be Odin. Sounds like it’s gonna become so important in the next film, right? Ughh no that’s solved in the first fucking act of Ragnarok. But wait, Ragnarok ends with Asgard destroyed but its people are flying in space searching to establish a new home. All the adventures they could possibly have...never happen because they’re killed off-screen in the first 2 minutes of Infinity War (don’t get me wrong, as an opener for the film, that scene was great but as a follow-up to Ragnarok’s ending, not so much).

I know it sounds like I’ve ragged on Thor too much but it’s only because I want his films to have the same quality as his billionaire teammate and his shield bearing friend. As of right now, he’s in the right track so let’s hope the Russos and the future directors of Thor-centered films can keep this up.

2. Signed and Sealed by Quill 

Now, there are quite a bit of out-of-character moments in this film. Like Loki, the man smart enough to fake his own death, suddenly forgetting he had a brain when he tried to go toe-to-toe with Thanos, the guy who took about 15 seconds to destroy Hulk who himself demolished Loki in 5 seconds (still a great scene). Then there’s the Hulk who’s being a bit of a drama king which is very weird and there’s no good explanation other than he just doesn’t want to.

But the biggest blot is one Peter Quill and I believe everyone knows what scene I’m talking about. Quill, Quill, Quill you fucking moron. There was 100% absolutely no good reason for him to just punch Thanos and disrupt the process of taking out the Gauntlet. None whatsoever.

Some tried to argue for him and said “Well, you wouldn’t know until you were in his position” and basically I said that empathizing didn’t matter one bit when he threatens literally half the universe with his stupidity. If someone hits a button that suddenly releases a nuke that blows up half a country, nobody would come to his defense and say “well, we didn’t know what he was going through.” That doesn’t matter. You know what’s at stake. You know what would happen if you fail. You know damn well just how dangerous Thanos is and yet you let stupidity cloud your judgment. The worst part is that all he had to was wait. Spider-Man was maybe a few seconds and one good tug away from getting that Gauntlet off and once that was done, you may punch away. Hell, I’ll punch Thanos with you but not yet.

Some may even say that this action was actually in line with Quill’s character and I agree. It’s in line with Quill’s old character. He was reckless, he was roguish, he looked out only for himself, and he cared more about what he would get out of a situation. And in typical Han Solo fashion, in 3 movies, he matured before our very eyes. He was still reckless but he understood that sacrifices needed to be made even if he has to lose something. He cared about people but knew what needed to be done for the much greater number. Remember when he accepted killing Gamora? That was a huge moment for him. It would have absolutely been cathartic to see him just watch Thanos as his Gauntlet is taken away and then just punch him in the name of the woman they both loved and then finally letting go of Gamora for good. But that triumphant character moment was stolen from Quill and his character was absolutely squandered in mere seconds. In one scene, they destroyed all of Quill’s development and put him back into his primal underdeveloped state.

It’s important to keep in mind that even Drax, the person who’s not knowledgeable of social norms, the person who doesn’t understand the concept of a joke, the person who lost more to Thanos than Quill ever did, was smart enough to understand the importance of maintaining the plan.

By the way, I understand that they needed this to continue the conflict but you can’t convince me that they couldn’t find a different way for Thanos to maintain the Gauntlet. He could’ve simply overpowered them to the point that they couldn’t even get a chance to get the Gauntlet or have him break the trance by himself through sheer willpower. You can even have Spider-Man, the youngest and most inexperienced member of the group, make a fatal mistake. If we had the Time Stone, we’d see 14 million possible drafts of that script wherein Thanos keeps the Gauntlet without making anyone look unbelievably stupid.

Sub Point for 2

What’s even more problematic was that I just never bought Quill and Gamora’s romance. It always felt like Gamora was manipulating him. It’s not the kind of romance you root for and this has been an underlying weakness in Marvel films: the romance. Other than the relationships of Tony Stark/Pepper Potts and Steve Rogers/Peggy Carter, no other romance was believable or just plain good enough to root for. Thor and Jane? Yeah right. Steve and Sharon? No thank you. Hulk and Black Widow? get the fuck outta here. I admire Marvel’s attempts but they rarely stick the landing.

Overall

I’d say that this film mostly lives up to the hype. If you’re a fan who, like me, has followed this large franchise since the beginning then I believe you’ll get your money’s worth. It’s weird that I’m recommending a party that I’ve been late to by almost a year but it doesn’t change the fact that I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and will say that it is an absolute must-watch. If you’re looking for the climactic penultimate chapter of the “Avengers vs Thanos” arc, you most certainly won’t find a film that better captures the epic feeling that comes with a decade’s worth of build-up.

[eggoreviews]

MCU Villains RANKED

I finished watching all the MCU films a few days ago (I have too much time on my hands) and, as a first Marvel list, I thought I’d rank all of the main villains in terms of how cool/powerful/how generally good I think they are. Come and see where your faves have placed in this messy, ill-informed list!

This list includes all of the main villains for every film up to Infinity War (Ant-Man and the Wasp isn’t out yet so it’d be difficult to include Ghost in here) with a couple of side villains that I felt needed a spot in the list. Enjoy! (Also, possible spoilers ahead for basically any MCU film)

Disclaimer: My opinion will probably, definitely not be yours

23. Whiplash (Iron Man 2)

Oh God.

I’m pretty vocal about how much I’m really not a fan of Iron Man 2 in general, but one of its worst aspects is a totally forgettable and laughable villain. I mean, I think at some point he has a subplot about his dad or something but most of the time he’s whining about his ‘bord’ and building shitty whips with his tech rather than something useful.

22. King Laufey (Thor)

I mean, sure. I guess this guy wasn’t supposed to act as much more than suitably evil looking blue person for Thor to fight. What puts Laufey ahead of Whiplash is pure cool factor, like I wouldn’t mess with this guy. He’d freeze me or somethin’.

21. Abomination (The Incredible Hulk)

Honestly, this is probably a higher ranking for Abomination than any other list I’ve seen. My only issue with this guy is that he’s a bit eh. Despite being played by Tim Roth, a brilliant actor who appears in multiple of my favourite films, his character is just one dimensional, sweaty soldier until the end when he turns into one dimensional, sweaty green monster. Again, his minor redeeming quality comes with his raw strength (say what you like about the Hulk film, that Harlem fight at the end is well worth watching the other hour and a half), but he’s very much let down by an underdeveloped character and a completely absent motive for anything.

20. Aldrich Killian (Iron Man 3)

Okay, now we’re getting into the villains that sort have a motive at some point. Personally, I didn’t hate the whole ‘Ben Kingsley isn’t the Mandarin’ twist, so that’s not why he’s placed so low. I’ll agree that that Guy Pearce plays a decent villain here, but the film itself is so messy and full of subplots that Killian sort of gets lost in it and never really develops beyond angry rooftop guy who can set himself on fire.

19. Malekith (Thor: The Dark World)

I thought Thor 2 was pretty damn okay and not the horrendous mess people make it out to be and I’ll defend Christopher Eccleston’s Malekith just as tentatively. Malekith’s only downfall is a non-existent character beyond cool looking menacing elf dude. We know that he wants to make everything all dark again for reasons that aren’t quite clear, but that’s kind of it. Again, his slightly higher ranking is more the cool factor.

18. Darren Cross (Ant-Man)

Cool suit by the way my dude.

Corey Stoll’s Yellowjacket is a pretty by-the-numbers MCU villain. He has his moments, particularly the Mexican standoff during the presentation of his suit, but he’s a pretty okay aspect of an otherwise great film. He holds his own as a decent villain, but his backstory and motives borrow a little too heavily from Iron Man’s Obadiah Stane. And he doesn’t quite pull off the disgraced CEO as well as Jeff Bridges.

17. Ronan (Guardians of the Galaxy)

I loved Lee Pace in the Hobbit films, so the fact that Pace plays Ronan well isn’t in question. The thing about Ronan is that it seems like putting the heartless genocidal racist at the centre of a comedic superhero film about a group of misfits acts as a pretty jarring tone shift. It sort of feels like Ronan was stuffed into the wrong film here (But maybe that’s why he’s having his second round in Captain Marvel next year). Ronan isn’t exactly forgettable, but when surrounded by such rich and interesting characters, his destructive plans and endless angry monologues just sort of melt into the background.

16. The Black Order (Avengers: Infinity War)

I sort of lumped these guys all together purely because I don’t think any one of them shines out as more developed than another. They act as cool, menacing underlings to the purple fucklord that is Thanos and I’m almost kind of mad they didn’t make it to Avengers 4. As little development as there is, you can tell each one of them plays a specific role (Cull Obsidian is obviously massive brawn thing, Ebony Maw is the clever one, Proxima and Corvus enjoy stabbing things etc), which means the only thing that’s really stopping these guys from appearing higher is lack of screen time.

15. Ultron (Avengers: Age of Ultron)

Age of Ultron, like Thor 2, is often crapped on just as heavily for reasons I don’t think are hugely valid. And, like Thor 2, its villain is often the centre of the crapping. Ultron’s motives are relatively clear throughout the film and he feels central enough to be a genuine threat. I also like the plot arc that Ultron is the Avenger’s (particularly Tony and Bruce’s) fault, so that gives a whole new dynamic to his character. My only issue with Ultron is how odd his humour seems at times, as if he can’t quite decide whether he wants to be the serious villain or the funny villain. I’m all for villains showcasing both of these traits but, in Ultron’s case, he seems conflicted on which he’s trying to be.

14. Alexander Pierce (Captain America: The Winter Soldier)

Robert Redford plays the creepy Hydra dude very well and there’s something genuinely sinister about Pierce that especially comes through with his willingness to kill twenty million people. Pierce’s only downfall is that he’s a non-enhanced villain among many super-powered heroes and villains. So for all his sinister acting, Pierce just comes off as a little bit powerless. Not that this at all negates Redford’s performance or the strings Pierce pulls within SHIELD, it’s just that his lack of genuine power is something you can’t help but think about.

13. Justin Hammer (Iron Man 2)

I maintain that the only saving grace of Iron Man 2, aside from the newly cast Don Cheadle as Rhodey, is Sam Rockwell’s Justin Hammer. He brings genuine humour to an otherwise joyless film and acts as a worthy adversary to Tony Stark. Also, his dancing during the Stark Expo? Worth watching the film for. I’d be very happy to see him return, although it might be a little late due to the fact that Iron Man may be about to make his exit in Avengers 4. RIP Justin, maybe another time my dude.

12. Obadiah Stane (Iron Man)

Here he is, the villain that started it all. Jeff Bridges’ Iron Monger makes for a genuinely chilling, unsettling villain whose calmness is probably his most terrifying trait. At the centre of any good film, especially a Marvel film, is a good, compelling villain and Bridges manages this with ease. Unlike the two Iron Man sequels, this is an Iron Man villain who genuinely feels like he’s up to taking down Stark.

11. Kaecilius (Doctor Strange)

Kaecilius is yet another chilling villain played by the brilliant Mads Mikkelson who, much like Stane, feels like a match to the protagonist. But what put Kaecilius ahead of him for me is the fact that he believes what he’s doing is completely right; he thinks he’s granting everyone eternal life, rather than enslaving them to Dormammu (who won’t be included because of his lack of screen time/only redeeming quality being his massive face). This alongside some kickarse magical abilities just puts him up a bit more. Time for the top ten!

10. Helmut Zemo (Captain America: Civil War)

Daniel Bruhl goes full Bond villain for this one. Civil War in itself is a movie packed full of conflict at its core, so it takes a pretty memorable villain to make a mark on a film like this. Bruhl’s Helmut Zemo pulls all the strings behind the Avengers’ downfall and does so with a lot of sinister energy. But at the same time, we’re compelled to feel sorry for the fact that he lost his family in Sokovia during Age of Ultron. I think we’re probably going to see this guy making a return in future.

9. The Grandmaster (Thor: Ragnarok)

I love Jeff Goldblum. Everyone loves Jeff Goldblum. And while he plays more of a minor villain role in Ragnarok, I think he made much more of a mark and delivered a more compelling, genuinely funny performance than any other Thor villain. So it’d be pretty amazing to see him come back for a future film. Especially if Taika Waititi has something to do with it.

8. Ulysses Klaue (Avengers: Age of Ultron, Black Panther)

It’s pretty rare to see Andy Serkis in the flesh in a film rather than behind a lot of CGI and this character couldn’t have been played by anyone else. With Klaue being the second of two minor villains in this list alongside the Grandmaster, Klaue most makes his presence felt in Black Panther where he more than holds his own alongside Michael B. Jordan’s Killmonger (who we’ll get to later).  Andy Serkis brings a hell of a lot of humour and genuine manic energy to this role and this is near enough his best performance. It’s just a shame that Ulysses Klaue is unlikely to return, considering the fact he was a shot multiple times during Black Panther.

7. Red Skull (Captain America: The First Avenger)

Here is a villain that more than deserves his spot in the top ten. Arguably one of the most memorable villains of Marvel’s first phase, Hugo Weaving plays the angry clever Nazi scarily well. What makes him so great is the fact that he’s the complete antithesis to Captain America, which just makes the conflict between them seem more interesting. Plus, come on, it’s Hugo Weaving. He’s in every good film ever. What a guy.

6. Ego (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)

Kurt Russell’s Ego places this high for many reasons, mainly the fact that he doesn’t present himself as the villain until towards the end of the film and yet the film functions perfectly without a central antagonist (I love Guardians 2 a lot. This will become obvious probably). Ego even retains the parts of his character that you originally related to before he goes full bad guy and tries to cover all the planets in blue marshmallow fluff. Other than a couple of misplaced jokes (’I’m gonna go take a whiz’), Ego is a near-perfect Marvel villain.

5. Vulture (Spider-Man Homecoming)

I struggle to call this guy a villain, even though he undoubtedly is. Everything he does is out of a place of concern for his family and the only murder he commits in the whole of the film was an accident. Okay, so this doesn’t necessarily make him a good person, but what makes him any better than the Netflix Punisher? Or Deadpool? Anyway, kind of irrelevant, Michael Keaton plays his second bird super-character in the same way he plays all of his roles; amazingly. One of the main elements of Homecoming that made it such a genuinely good reboot was an interesting, relatable villain that you struggle to hate (apart from maybe when he’s pummeling Spidey into the ground at the end, that hurt my feelings).

4. Loki (Thor, The Avengers)

You can’t really call Loki a villain anymore, similarly to Bucky, M’Baku and Nebula (her especially, if she isn’t a full time guardian by the third one I’m not gonna be happy), he’s undergone a redemption arc that hasn’t negated his mischievous behaviour, but just makes sure the good parts of his character shine through a little more (that’s why I’ve only listed the two films in which I would class Loki as a villain). Tom Hiddleston plays Loki in a very sinister way, but more importantly with an overriding sense of fun. He perfectly strikes a balance between being a funny villain whilst still maintaining his sense of power.

3. Thanos (Avengers: Infinity War)

Speaking of sense of power, it crushed my heart a little to see Loki get so easily offed at the beginning of Infinity War, making Loki’s usually undeniably effective plots seem like cheap parlor tricks (to be fair, all he did was pretend he wasn’t going to stab him, but I guess if Loki’s desperate, you know everyone’s fucked at that point). Aside from all that, Thanos easily is the most terrifying character in the MCU, purely because of sheer power. Josh Brolin plays him (and Cable too) with overflowing gravitas and a threatening aura that seems to be present in everything he does. Even if he is inevitably defeated in Avengers 4, the mark he’s left on the MCU is gonna sting the survivors for some time (Sidenote: if any Guardian turns out to be permanently dead, I will officially never get over that. Yondu was bad enough).

2. Hela (Thor: Ragnarok)

Cate Blanchett as the first central female MCU villain (as well as the goddess of death) is iconic. Hela presents the same threatening, overly powerful aura that Thanos has and does every despicable act with a sense of sadistic humour. If I had the choice to bring back one villain, it would be Hela, because I very much doubt she died when Surtur squished Asgard, so her lasting mark may end up being equal to Thanos’. Or maybe she’ll turn out to be Lady Death? So many possibilites but to be honest, as long as they bring her back, I’m up for anything.

1. Killmonger (Black Panther)

Who else was it going to be? Black Panther in itself was an iconic film, not just for its cultural significance, but also for breaking the usual Marvel mold with its narrative. And at the centre of all this is Michael B. Jordan’s Killmonger, who perfectly strikes the balance between someone you love to hate and hate to love. But most of all, Killmonger’s death holds the most emotion of any villain-centric moment for me, as the ever brilliant T’Challa takes him up to see Wakanda’s sunset before he dies. But overall, what puts Killmonger ahead of all the others is the fact that everything he’s doing could easily be seen as morally correct, just not in its execution. All Killmonger wanted in the end was to arm and support his oppressed brothers and sisters, which highlights the film’s political message. Among irrelevant whip-wielding Russian scientists and endless business people in metal suits, Killmonger stands out as a villain you can side with as easily as the hero and is a villain I find it the most difficult to show any dislike for. (Totally not relevant, but Michael B. Jordan plays a good character in a cool indie film called Chronicle that came out a few years ago. If you're planning on watching a film anytime this week, I highly recommend you watch it, it will blow you away)

Phew. That took a while. Thanks for reading if you made it this far and feel free to let me know your top picks for MCU villains! If I do another Marvel list, will probably be the actual films next.

Have a good day/night my dudes

[razluna-k]

Sorry but Black Panther is still a bad movie

Re-watching it, I can’t say my opinion on it has changed much about it, I still don’t like it. I think I like the overall plot maybe a bit better after re-watching it but that doesn’t say much. Warning, spoilers bellow! Before I start sounding like a Negative Nancy and say everything that was bad about it, well what was good about it? There were a number of things I liked about the movie and want to point this out first. The humor in the movie was nearly spot on, I don’t really have any complaints about it aside from the cringe-worthy “WHAT ARE THOSE?!” joke, I had to suffer through that a second time and I think it’s worse the second time around, typed words cannot express how my face shrunk as if I ate a whole lemon.  What else was good about it? The visuals were amazing. I see a lot of people complaining about the CGI but honestly I have no complaints for the CGI, at least not many, any CGI related complaints I have is more related to what it’s representing rather than the effect itself. CGI is spot on to me. The city was beautiful and the technology was some of the best I’d seen in any movie, I loved the design and futuristic style of everything. My favorite thing in the movie has to be those dragonfly ships, loved those!

My favorite character in the whole movie is M’Baku from the Jabari tribe, with T’Chala being my second favorite, not a close second mind you, but still a second, and on a related note I also love how the origins of Wakanda at the beginning of the movie seem to be hinting that the Jabari tribe are the trouble making tribe and may be one of the antagonists of the movie, further hinted at by the nature of them showing up to the ritual to challenge T’Chala, and later to turn it around and have them aid the main protagonists of their own will. That turnaround was a very nice twist in the movie and I loved it a lot.

I also liked the action scenes in the movie but my favorite was the first one where T’Chala goes after that convoy, the first time I watched it I felt it was too dark and hard to see what was going on, but seeing it a second time I have a more positive look at the scene and the moment he froze gave me a laugh too. 

In all honesty, that’s all I have for what I like about the movie, a couple characters I like, good action scenes, beautiful visuals, technology, and comedy (almost) spot-on. There is however more complaints I have for the movie. What is there that I can possibly have to complain about?

Okay I’ll get this out of my way, I really don’t like Killmonger as he’s portrayed in the movie. Now I haven’t watched many marvel cartoons, if any, don’t read comics, so this is really a fresh look at the marvel villain and honestly, they could have done better. First of all, right off the bat I’m not a fan of “evil version of the hero” villains, but usually the villain will have some sort of unique twist to them or upgrade to set them apart from the hero, make them a bigger challenge. In Iron Man, Iron Monger was a bigger, bulkier, more weaponized version of iron man based off the mark I suit. In Antman, Yellowjacket was Antman with lasers. In the amazing hulk Abomination was a bigger, uglier Hulk, maybe a bit stronger but I haven’t seen the movie in years so I can’t back that up. However, in Black Panther Killmonger is basically just “evil black panther”, no special twist, just the same thing with a different design. The MCU seems to have some fetish for pinning  heroes up against basically evil versions of themselves, usually with some sort of twist, and it often leads to the final battle between the main hero and villain being kind of bland. Now there are certainly acceptions to this that varry from movie to movie, and boy, Black Panther is FAR from an acception. You have two people with equally impenetrable armor going fist-to-cuffs, on a rail that periodically deactivates their armor for a who-will-land-the-finishing-blow-first moment. The events leading up to this were no better, lets backtrack and go into T’Chala’s ritual battle with N'Jadaka. This battle was far more interesting in the beginning phases, I’d like to attribute it to the fact that the two of them had different weapons and, even without the weapons, it was on a ground meant to be equal footing, a ritual. It started off well, but went stupid after a bit.

Why don’t I like it? Well T’Chala basically gave up halfway through, and don’t tell me otherwise. In the first ritual where he becomes king, he fights like a badass and even takes a spear to the shoulder and powered through to victory, showing not a single sign of weakness with a massive open wound that probably went down to the bone. But here? Well the fight starts off good but once he gets a stab into the stomach then it goes downhill fast. Now it’s not even directly in his stomach, closer to his side, and he did also suffer carious cuts before, none of which were serious but probably hurt. Of course you’d probably say something along the lines of “If you got stabbed in your stomach-side you probably wouldn’t be able to fight back very much” but remember who we’re talking about here. T’Chala, current black panther, who previously won a match with an open wound in his shoulder.  I’ve been in a car accident and let me tell you adrenaline is an amazing thing, and will let you do things beyond your capabilities regardless of injuries depending on the injury. Now we have this guy who fought to victory before with a shoulder wound, you can’t say adrenaline isn’t running in him after that stab in the stomach, he should be flowing with it, and he’s already a more than capable fighter. Yet after getting that stab just crumbles into the weakest thing unable to move and even giving killmonger time to go on his monologue. After that, Killmonger kills Zuri, T’Chala sees a close friend die right before his eyes, he’s definitely surging with adrenaline now, but instead of throwing up a fight and going out like a man, he flops around on the water like a magikarp and ends up getting thrown off the cliff. A very emotional scene but a pathetic way to go out.

Now lets return to Killmonger as the main focus, he’s definitely the deepest and most inspired villain yet, but... there’s no connection. His motives are largely race related, frequently referring to black slavery and blaming Wakanda for not helping “people that look like us” as he puts it, now this isn’t a bad view for the villain to have but where does it come from? There’s no connection between his origin story and his current beliefs. Sure his father held similar views but his father didn’t seem to apply race to it, his views were more on the general state of the world, all the corruption and crime and suffering while wakanda does nothing. They have similar views but I can’t help but not feel a connection between his origins of his father’s death and N’Jadaka’s current motivations as a villain. I suppose the race thing comes into play as he grows up in the united states but that would be an off-screen connection that isn’t addressed in the main movie. 

That’s not the end of it however, I feel they could have gone a better direction with the movie than making Killmonger king and becoming “Evil Black Panther”. While I like the Jabari tribe as they’re shown in the movie, I think the movie would have been better if say Killmonger lost the battle for the throne and perhaps went to the Jabari tribe and lead an army to conquer Wakanda. He could have taken over the Jabari tribe by beating or killing M’Baku and perhaps even convinced W’Kabi to betray T’Challa, this could have resulted in a much bigger Wakandan Civil War and I feel that would have played better with his background as a “Joint Special Operations Command” Ghost, as we’d first hand be seeing his training put to use, rather than him just being king and running weapons and Ross saying he’s “using his training”, like no, he’s not using his training, he’s straight up king and doing what he wants. They could have even used this path to give him a unique outfit and weapons that will put him up as a large threat to T’Chala without making him a Black Panther literal copycat. Overall I feel like Black Panther was not a good movie, it was pretty bad, it had good moments but I feel the way they handled Killmonger just made the movie full of lost opportunities, it had potential but they went in the wrong direction with it I feel.  On a side note, It’s largely T’Chala’s fault any of this happened, even after the truth of Killmonger’s identity was revealed he was advised not to accept the challenge. The hero makes a stupid decision that enables the villain. He was an outsider and W’Kabi was the only one who wanted to see the challenge gone through. Plenty of missed opportunities, W'Kabi could have been a better antagonist.

Klaue was perfect though, but if you throw any crazy villain that laughs at everything at me I’ll probably love them no matter how useless they may be. The dude was even still smiling as a corpse.

[movietvtechgeeks]

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'The Black Panther' holds up well for an overhyped MCU movie

Thoughts on The Black Panther Movie In my honest opinion, The Black Panther film is pretty much overhyped but a good film nonetheless. Hopefully not overhyped to death with trailers showing before every YouTube video I watch; because as an MCU film, we don’t want it to fall behind the built-up expectations. There is much reason for the hype though because apart from the Avengers’ founding roster, Black Panther is pretty much unknown outside of Captain America: Civil War. This is a spoiler-free review of sorts because the film is just in its first week of screening. The Character – I could say I’m pretty much in the same boat as the general public because I’m no Black Panther fan. Sorry if I don’t find him interesting enough to pick up or read one of his separate titles. Perhaps, much like others, if he was as heavily promoted like Spider-Man or Iron Man, or gotten started with him early, I’d probably be. So this is more of a fresh perspective on The Black Panther character. Black Panther was great in Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Again, that series should be continued and canceling it was a terrible mistake. I just hate hanging storylines. That series showed me how awesome the character of Black Panther is given how he balances super-heroics with being a monarch much like Namor the Submariner. When his nation of Wakanda is at stake, he decides to put it first and sides with his friends when things clear up. In the MCU, we had a short version of his origin in Captain America: Civil War where Prince T’Challa takes The Black Panther title and habit (suit) when his father died on a bid for revenge. What’s great in Civil War was how he handled it when he found out the truth. The costume and the action sequences in Civil War made the character look awesome, making us fans thirst for more Black Panther, thus the hype for this film. There’s more of that action in this film, and we get to see more of how T’Challa deals his royal and moral responsibilities. Chadwick Boseman was excellent at both being serious and delivering humorous one-liners the MCU is known for. World Building – The Black Panther film is much of an origin story for the character as much as it is for his fictional country of Wakanda. Wakanda was first shown as far back as Iron Man 2 as an Easter Egg on a map. It’s first mentioned though in Avengers: Age of Ultron thus giving comics fanboys a solid idea that Black Panther will be coming to the MCU. This film achieved a spectacular job of world building not only in terms of scenery, geography and special effects but also of Wakandan politics, society and even foreign policy which plays a big part in the film. Like Black Panther himself, Wakanda was built up as a mysterious reclusive society that served to heighten viewer’s curiosity and interest. Let’s just say that this film didn’t disappoint. From a technological standpoint, Wakanda is the most modern country in the world but highly values its traditions. The technology featured here would give Tony Stark a run for his money. In the wrong hands, technology is a very dangerous thing and seeing how the world violently developed around them makes keeping their true nature a secret highly paramount. However, given the state of other African nations around them puts that secret-keeping policy in question as it makes them an amoral wealthy spectator to the suffering around them. Villains – There are three main Marvel villains in this film, that’s a minor spoiler, but from the trailers, you all know the other two. There’s usually a problem when superhero movies showcase more than one villain at a time. But one thing about the MCU, they handle it quite well, and Black Panther is no exception. First, there’s M’Baku, the Man-Ape from the reclusive Jabari tribe played by Winston Duke (Law & Order: Special Victims Unit). Then there’s Ulysses Klaue played by none other than Andy Serkis who first appeared on Avengers: Age of Ultron. Klaue or Klaw oddly enough, first appeared in Fantastic Four #53. Black Panther himself appeared in Fantastic Four one issue prior, and it’s amazing how Marvel/Disney managed to bring them to film prior to the Fox acquisition. The third villain, of course, is Erik Killmonger played nicely by Michael B. Jordan (again with ties to the Fantastic Four). Except for Klaue, both M’Baku and Erik are sympathetic villains with solid motivations. Early reviews would even compare him to Loki. However, if there’s a villain problem here, it would be that the hero is once again pitted against his similarly-powered antithesis. Iron Man vs. Iron Monger, Ant-Man against Yellowjacket, Captain America vs. Red Skull and Black Panther against Killmonger in a gold Black Panther habit. Again though, since the MCU focuses on pretty-much unknown heroes, the heroes take center stage, unlike Superman or Batman. We all know who Superman and Batman are and what’s more interesting is who they’ll be up against and the A-lister that will be playing them. It probably wouldn’t hurt though if Marvel Studios could give us a film with a main villain that has a different power set than the hero for the hero’s film debut. Other Characters – Few films highlight its supporting characters as much as Black Panther did. Erik Killmonger was made out to be a great sympathetic villain perhaps next to Loki. T’Challa’s sister Shuri (Leslie Wright) would surely catch the eye of Tony Stark for her looks and genius intellect. She’s the bright and bubbly Q in this black James Bond film. Danai Gurira (The Walking Dead) who plays Okoye, the leader of the royal guard was also given some spotlight as she must choose between loyalty to the country and her sworn loyalty to the one on the throne. M’Baku, the Man-Ape was both intimidating and amusing. Lupita Nyong-o played Nakia was also quite interesting as T’Challa’s love interest. Musical Score – I don’t take much notice to a film’s musical score even though it complements much of what happens in any film. But in musicals like Sing, New Year’s Eve, Rock of Ages, they mean everything. Guardians of the Galaxy’s 70s and 80s tunes were awesome and the film even re-popularized cassette tapes. Anyway, Black Panther’s musical score is pretty amazing and complements the Wakanda’s world building along with the modern tunes used in out-of-country action scenes. If there’s anything to nitpick in the film, is that there are some obvious problems with some of the CGI. Seems like the film’s post-production was rushed. Just enough for fans to notice and to brush off as the film goes on. And even though the Killmonger villain was cool, Michael B. Jordan sometimes went over the top. Also, one of the characters, Everett Ross, felt unnecessary as the token white guy in an all-black film. Like American Tom Sawyer in the all-European League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Ross, however, is a primary character in The Black Panther comics. All in all, Black Panther is awesome to watch as a film in itself apart from the MCU. It’s as fresh as Rotten Tomatoes points it out to be and a good way to introduce the world to such an obscure character. Still not as great as Avengers and Winter Soldier. I’d say a four out of five.

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