#“drowning in the sewer” is a reference to →
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i feel lost. scared. lonely
step out into the sun. into the endless pain. alone in an opaque void, or maybe i just can't see through it enough to notice i'm not alone. it burns. is rotting in the darkness worse? drowning in the sewer?
infinite mazes of light, nobody aroung. this isn't real. the real light burns, this doesn't. i see so clearly yet there still remains no-one. fields of empty space, knee height. marble floors with no temperature
mirages of others. of company
endless seconds ticking by. however many millions. running around searching for a way out, tiring myself endlessly, never collapsing
my flesh bleeds – oozes, almost – with sickly purples
(legs numb now. alternating between writing tags and main post segment whatever this is called)
dragging my forearms across the subtle rough texture of the tiling. they bleed. they fall apart so easily. so weak. so brittle. so rotten through
i need ..... . .......i don't know what i need
please, i need whatever that thing is
someone tell me what i need
someone tell me what to do. where to go. i'm so lost in here. i'm running out of battery. it's always ticking down, never reaches 0, i feel like it's a lie. shepherd's tone
my sanity's slowly falling deeper and deeper into the infinitesimal abyss, or maybe not and it just feels like that. i don't know anymore. i don't remember anymore. i don't remember what i am. my family's fading from me. i'll be alone soon. without them
my ideas are running out yet i must keep writing. this is my purpose in life for... however long it's taken now. 10 minutes? i didn't check when i started.
...... ..............
■■■■ ■■■■■■ shall claim me soon
#rant#rambles#this turned out surprisingly poetic ig?#“drowning in the sewer” is a reference to →#sewerslvt#setting vaguely inspired by →#ultrakill#show me the sky show me how to live#← is a good song btw. listening rn#please talk to me. i need someone. i need someone to be obsessed with me. i need attention forever overwhelmingly much#tw rant#tw blood#not sure what trigger warnings to apply#this post is stretching on. i like that. this is nice to write. i should write somewhere more fit for long-form stuff#ao3#← maybe? if someone finds this through that tag please help me get on there maybe if i have the motivation#please talk to me#this is the last i'm writing for this post. nothing more for the main segment. this tag. the last. and the 2 next ones#bye for now. i'm actually kinda proud of how this post turned out. i felt it was gonna be uninspired and felt kinda bad about complaining i#such a boring way but actually this turned out good
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October 24th
Sex Toys, Cumulus x Reader
Masterlist
Words: 1k.
Warnings: Sex toys; sapphic; thigh riding; multiple orgasms; nipple play; thigh spanking; ngl, I struggled with this one. I wanted it to be better than it was but the Aurora fic kinda meant that nothing else would live up to it lmao;
Taglist: @sodoswitchimage @enchantedbunny @bitchywitchygardener @thew0man @sodomiser @the-did-i-ask @copias-sewer-rat @gehrmansbignaturals @deetz-ghuleh @onlyhereforghost @zombiesnips-blog
🔞 MDNI 🔞
Amidst the tranquil stillness of a moonlit night, a sense of anticipation hung in the air, as if the world itself held its breath in eager anticipation of what was to come. You were wrapped up in Cumulus’ arms, soft bodies pressed together and connected at your lips, where your tongues danced together. Both of you were completely void of clothing, and thighs pressed up against each other’s most sensitive places, hips moving and seeking as much pleasure as possible. The sound of your gasps and moans were the only noises that could be heard in the stillness of the room. Just two people desperately trying to reach an end by any means necessary.
As your clit continued to rub against Cumulus’ thigh, you allowed your hands and lips to wander over her body, pinching and playing with her nipples as your tongue laved over her neck. Her own hand had moved down to your thigh and pulled on it, tugging you ever closer to her centre in order for her to get as much pleasure from your body as she possibly could. The longer she rubbed against you, the wetter your thigh became, but you felt like you could drown in that feeling - knowing that it was you providing her with everything she needed to cum.
She came first - her face and body contorting with the feeling of the powerful orgasm washing over her. Her hips moved faster in a desperate effort to add to the intensity and her fingernails dug into your skin purely because she didn’t know what else to do. You soon followed her, your own body reacting in a similar manner and rubbing against her thigh needily prolonging the orgasm you were experiencing, her sweet, melodic voice whispering sweet nothings in your ear with breathless words as she was coming down from her own high. Her body, despite her orgasm being strong enough to make her eyes close in exhaustion, continued to move against you, silently begging for a second release.
“Can I get it?” She asked you, voice barely above a whisper.
“Please.” You answered, knowing exactly what she was referring to.
If you both spent the rest of the night humping against each other like animals, you’d never stop and work yourselves into oversensitivity. Thus, she pulled away from you temporarily, reaching into the bedside drawer and pulling out the only item you both favourited and frequently used: your wand vibrator. As soon as it was plugged into the wall, she moved back to her original position, placing your thigh back over the top of her and returning to that lazy, sideways missionary position you’d both been in before. The vibrator was placed between the pair of you, adjusting it so it sat between both of your clits before she turned it on.
Even at its lowest intensity it was incredibly powerful, both of your mouths falling open in pleasure at the low rumble now vibrating through your entire body. You both rubbed against it, the pressure from her movements pushing the vibrator harder against your clit and vice versa. “Oh fuck.” You moaned loudly, the pleasure proving too much for gentle whispers. Your body needed to expel that energy somehow, and your voice was the only way it could.
“Oh, just like that.” Cumulus’ voice was just as strained as yours, oozing with unbridled bliss.
Your body pushed you upwards, the need to move your hips faster too great for the position you were in. You sat up on your knees, still with your clit connected to the vibrator and began to rub against it, your hips moving at a much faster pace, which, in turn, kept the vibrator bouncing off Cumulus and made her noises increase in volume.
“Fucking just like that!” She exclaimed, hand coming to pull at your thigh once again for purchase.
Cumulus always loved it when you rode her. She got to lie back against the pillows and watch you take what you needed, see your body move as it bounced against her own. She loved watching your hands roam over your breasts, pinching and pulling your nipples for extra stimulation. You were truly a sight to behold when you were on top.
You, on the other hand, got to watch her body as it moved with the force of your thrusts, the way her breasts jiggled with each movement of your hips. The way her bottom lip would tuck up between her teeth and her eyebrows would furrow. The way her blown-out pupils would roam over your body, focussing on your pleasure points and screaming each time the vibrator slipped over a particularly sensitive spot on her clit.
The hand that was clutching onto your thigh slapped against the flesh, gently at first, but knowing that you liked it to hurt a little bit she slapped a little harder each time, rubbing at the redness between each it.
“Faster, baby, please.” You begged as you bent over her body and placed a desperate kiss to her lips.
She obliged, kicking the vibrator up a notch. Her eyes widened at the increase of intensity, and her back arched. You could tell by the way her body had begun to spasm that she was about to cum again And if you were being honest, you were close as well.
It took maybe two or three more thrusts against the vibrator before you were doubling over, head resting between the valley of Cumulus’ breasts as you came for a second time that night, mouth open in a silent scream as your hole clenched tightly around nothing. Cumulus came at the same time as you, her fingernails digging into your shoulders and her eyes squeezed tightly shut, mind wiped completely blank as all she could think about was how good you’d made her feel.
She practically threw the vibrator away from you both from the oversensitivity, and once again you found yourself wrapped up in her arms as you both lay there in bed, breathless and dozing off into a peaceful sleep.
Previous Day ⛧ Next Day
#mel writes#kinktober#kinktober 2023#ghost kinktober#the band ghost#ghost#ghost bc#ghost band#ghost the band#ghostband#ghost band fanfic#ghost band fanfiction#ghost fandom#the band ghost fanfiction#nameless ghoul x reader#nameless ghouls#namelessghoulettes#the nameless ghouls#nameless ghoulette#nameless ghoulettes#nameless ghoul smut#nameless ghoulette smut#nameless ghoul x reader smut#nameless ghoulette x reader smut#cumulus ghoulette#cumulus ghost#cumulus x reader#cumulus x reader smut#cumulus smut#cumulus
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The Other Son - WoD HalloZine "Haunting"
Commissioned art by @medeaft
Author's Note: It’s been such a joy to take part in @vampemoqueen’s WoD HalloZine—my very first zine! Thank you so much for this experience and putting it all together. Here’s a short story of Kai, my beloved Ventrue, and the shadows of the past that haunt them.
Content Warnings: Brief references to drugs, self harm, maybe suicide (if you squint?), nihilism, and murder of a child.
“Jesus!” they cursed as their feet plunged into the silty drainage and mud squelched underfoot.
It had only been a little over half an hour since Kai entered this godforsaken place, burrowing their way underground like vermin. Beyond the manhole covers overhead, cars zoomed by and train tracks rumbled. They were still close to the surface, close enough to hear the city breathe.
However, down here, filth and grime carved out names for themselves on the grooved walls. At first, they gagged at the stench, finding it unbearable, but as their senses adjusted, one smell blended into another, like a sickness they could no longer distinguish.
Under normal circumstances, they would never be caught dead wandering around the sewers downtown. But since when were things normal? Like all fledglings turned neonates, they had been obeying tall and elusive orders every night since their Embrace. Except, they weren’t like the others—they were groomed to succeed and never to fail.
There was another splash as the ground sucked them in, causing them to sink knee-deep.
“For Christ’s sake!” they yelled again in frustration.
All at once, they heard the scolding voice of Liezel, their mother, resounding in their head just like it was yesterday, “Kai! How many times must I tell you? Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain!”
They mouthed the words as it came. Liezel’s arms were akimbo, her brows furrowed as spittle flew across the room. She had rapped their knuckles harshly with the wooden handle of a feather duster for good measure.
Kai could feel the sting of pain upon their hand, as clear as day, but sharper still was the humiliation, the hurt pride. Their younger stepbrother, Alfie, had giggled to himself in the corner. They clenched their fists. People said they took after their mother’s temper, and more often than not, they found themself agreeing.
At this point, their tailored pants and leather shoes were soaked through and ruined. Even dry cleaning wouldn’t be able to salvage them in their miserable state. Grimacing, they brushed beads of waste water off their waistcoat—it was Sisyphean, almost—as new drops replaced old, blooming in piss-drunk patches across silk weaves.
Why had their sire, Elena, sent them here again? Oh yes, “The sewer rats,” she said. “They’re hiding something from us. Find out what it is.”
They flipped their damp bangs away from their face in annoyance. Nearly two decades as a Kindred and they were still an errand runner—to Elena, to Lady Josephine, and in turn, to Baron Judge, the overarching Camarilla… Stringing them along with faint promises of power, like seductive wisps of smoke unfurling from their tongues, slithering into their ear and making a home in the hollow cavity of their skull.
Well, there were no sewer rats here. Through the dimmed shadows of light, all they could hear was the sound of sewage flushing through the system, pipes hissing and shaking, and molded moisture leaking from the arched ceilings. As they took a right, a group of vagrants huddling over a naked fire in an oil drum eyed them suspiciously. One crawled out from his tattered cardboard bed and shambled over to them.
“You got any er—”
Fentanyl. Meth. Heroin. He probably thought he could score some. The mole people—the homeless, the addicts, the outcast. They lived underground, in the flood tunnels, because there was nowhere else to go. Sometimes the water would reach so high that a bunch of them would drown. Not being quick enough made them easy pickings for the Nosferatu, but still bad blood all around.
Kai scrunched their face in disgust before relaxing their expression. Maybe they would have some use for this pitiful thing in front of them. With a practiced smile, they simpered, “I do… but first, tell me, how well do you know this place?”
The man coughed and shivered, grinning with swollen gums and putrid teeth. “Like the back of my hand.”
A guide. The gatekeeper of the sewer entrance had talked at length about its subterranean depths. Perhaps this man would know more. Raising an eyebrow, Kai focused their gaze, making sure their eyes met. A thin ring around their irises glowed—subtle, enticing, yet demanding. “Take me to its belly.”
He blinked slowly, once, twice, and then nodded. “This way,” he beckoned, turning around and trudging off through the labyrinth like a good soldier.
And so, Kai carried on, past winding corridors and forgotten lairs, crushing soiled glass and used needles beneath their heels. At the sides, strange altars decorated with melted wax candles and rotting pomegranates honored secret gods. The tunnels got darker and colder, so much so that they had to rely on their phone light to brighten up the path, but the guide didn’t seem bothered. In fact, he became livelier the deeper they went, as if he were drawing energy from some unknown source.
“Albert and Persephone would have a field day with this,” Kai grumbled under their breath, mocking the two absent members of their coterie behind their backs. Sarcasm dripped from their lips, cloying and condescending.
They recognized that same unease they felt whenever Albert conducted one of his ceremonies, or the time they witnessed Persephone casting eerily-shaped shadows from her bare hands. The taint of Oblivion clutched at their unbeating heart and made their skin crawl.
Distant screams and moans from an alley interrupted their thoughts and a gnarly hand tugged at their arm. “Not there,” the guide warned before taking off again along another passageway.
The metallic stairs they descended afterward screeched on its hinges, clanking against the wall. Kai wondered how far down they went. It felt like they had been walking for miles. At some point, their phone light flickered and went out, and they stood in total darkness on the suspended staircase swaying in the chilled air.
It was so silent you could hear a pin drop, which was weird, precisely because they heard nothing. No creaking, no footsteps, not even the sound of one’s breathing.
Where had their guide disappeared to? Was this some kind of twisted prank they had fallen for? But it couldn’t be, that mortal should’ve succumbed easily; they saw him submit, enslaved by their will, he couldn’t—
“Kai! Help me, please!” a shrill cry pierced their left ear, shocking them to the core as they stumbled blindly forward, tumbling down the flight of stairs.
When they finally hit the rock-hard ground, something wet and sticky trickled down the side of their face as a dull, throbbing ache blossomed from the crown of their head. “Shit,” they muttered, tasting tangy iron on their lips, like licking a battery.
Dazed, they tried to pick themself up, only to slip on the waxy surface, falling into the muck on all fours. Shame and embarrassment rushed in twofold, rising like waves of heat towards their chest. That prickly feeling at the back of their throat returned, threatening to come apart. This couldn’t be happening—not to them, they didn’t deserve this.
“What do you think you deserve?” the same voice whispered in their ear. Cold, unnatural, and unfeeling, but uncomfortably familiar.
“I deserve a lot more than you!” Kai had screamed, back when they were kids playing on the cliffs along the coast. Resentment reared its ugly head as they glared down at their stepbrother. His chubby hands grasped the cliff’s ledge while he dangled in mid-air, squirming beneath Kai’s feet.
“I deserve all of this!”
They could crush him right now, that stupid weakling who’d never worked a day in his life, who’d everything handed to him on a silver platter, just because he was the favorite.
No one would know.
Crush him.
Do it.
The whispers grew louder as they buried their head in their hands and growled.
“Kai! Help me, please!”
They took one more look at their stepbrother’s soft brown eyes and the ocean of tears that had welled up in them, before setting their foot down on his tiny fingers, treading on them like ants. Alfie lost his grip and Kai had watched quietly as his body was reduced to a simple ragdoll in the tempestuous wind. His limbs tossed about wildly as the howling gust drowned out the boy’s cries. Jagged bedrock by the cliffside framed its subject like a moving watercolor painting. If they squinted, they could pretend it was a bird diving to catch its prey.
They waited, patiently and then some more, until the red sea foam turned pale, and all that was left was a memory of what once was. One less mouth to feed, one less child to fawn over, one less rival to tussle with. Time didn’t bring any remorse. Perhaps they had been a monster even before they were reborn.
From afar, an unearthly roar and mechanical whir shredded through the stillness, jolting them back into the present. Was this what the Nosferatu were hiding? Kai had heard stories of otherworldly entities that existed on this plane, undecipherable, unseen to the naked eye. There were more than just Kindred around, and they were beginning to realize that they weren’t on the top of the food chain.
Bolting forward, they couldn’t care less if they looked more animal than human as the sludge clung to their feet. It felt like a mass of hands creeping up their legs, dragging them down into the dirt where they belonged. They should’ve been put down for what they did. But they felt nothing. Years and months of nothing. At the funeral, they pressed a shard of glass into their palm, squeezing it within the pocket of their trousers, so that they would cry. Liezel couldn’t look at them for weeks.
Maybe this was the day of reckoning, their last chance to repent, but was there really something to feel guilty for? They had merely taken what was rightfully theirs from the beginning—before their mother remarried another man they were forced to call father, before they were told to sacrifice whatever they had for the sake of the other son.
They had reached the end, knowing this to be so as loose stone and rubble gave way, crumbling into the void pit below. It was pitch black, a long drop into a vortex of emptiness. For every second they stopped to pause, the darkness enshrouded them further, heavy and suffocating as it seeped in through their orifices.
And they were back on the cliff, at the scene of the accident. Although, instead of Alfie, it was Kai who was standing at its edge, waiting to be pushed.
“How does it feel to be in my shoes? How does it feel not to exist?” The tone was derisive, contemptuous.
Did Alfie expect them to accept their fate? To beg for forgiveness and mercy? They convulsed with laughter, the sound ricocheting off the walls. Their body was hollowed out, empty, a vacuum where nothing could be replaced.
There was only one thing left to do. Fear and weakness had no place in the Clan of Kings.
“Don’t you know?” they remarked, eyes black as coal. “I always win.”
And then, they jumped.
Dividers by @diableriedoll
#wodhallozine#vtm oc#oc: kai#ventrue#vtm#vampire the masquerade#world of darkness#my vtm writing#kai writing#porcelainscribbles
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rw mod region list
because i! got tired of scrolling through the workshop and trying to reference the modwiki constantly. this currently will not list the rooms they are found in. maybe it will later these are all listed from most recent to oldest release on the workshop.... for the most part. i cant promise all regions will be listed but im doing my best
missing regions can be found here in reblog
regions with pearls
- necropolis (1)
- gray urban (1)
- floating isles (2)
- the foundry (2)
- necropolis (1)
- gray urban (1)
- floating isles (2)
- the foundry (2)
- global hyper-transit system (2)
- underpass (1, also has 5 custom broadcasts)
- forgotten boiler (3)
- mistywoods (1)
- drainage system+ (1)
- howling rift (1)
- eventide (3)
- preservatory (1, features 3 custom broadcasts as well)
- scrapped peaks (2) (there's also a silly My Creature.png in the files)
- secluded pass (2, features 2 custom broadcasts as well)
- drowned pantheon (2)
- unparalleled innocence (1) (creator notes the iterator part is broken bc of iteratorkit sucking)
- drought regions (6, with 2 unused with no dialogue in files)
- unofficial leditor month gallery (1)
- underbelly (3)
- shrouded assembly regions (5)
- probationary district 4b (1)
- sun-scorched forest (1)
- forsaken station (5)
- forsaken factory (3)
- sunlit power plant (1)
- archaic facility (2)
- arid barrens (1, features 1 custom broadcast as well)
- gilded sanctuary (1)
- the grinder (1)
- forbidden tropics (wip) (4)
- chasing wind/luminous cove (1)
- citadel (1)
- corroded passage (2, features 4 custom broadcasts as well)
- bioengineering center (1)
- outer outskirts (2)
- rainforest (1)
- no significant harassment [hunter expansion] (2)
- overgrown facility (1)
- radiosphere (1)
- sky tower (3) (sound design can be headache inducing)
- moss fields (1)
- aqueducts (3)
- side house (2)
- deserted wastelands (4) (current biggest region released. can be laggy)
- ventilation ducts (1) (currently broken as fuck to my knowledge. not playable on new patch)
- badlands (2)
- sacred garden (1)
- moonlit acres (2)
- sizzling sewers (1)
- stormy coast (4)
- neuron forest (1)
- the mast (2)
- far shore (2)
- hanging gardens (1)
- hallowed grotto (5, features 18 custom broadcasts as well)
- undersea (2)
- lush mire (3)
- drainage system+ (1)
- howling rift (1)
- scorched district (1)
- washroom (2)
- old new horizon's regions (1) (theyre annoying to go through. be warned)
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I found this drowned greasy ass sewer rat (I have never seen such a T H E R E picture of Frank with his dreads b4 and it’s wild I needed this as a reference for a drawing like forever ago where tf was it???)
(Also send help my dog keeps hitting my face with her face and she refuses to stop it’s hurting my feelings)
this fuckin greased up sewer rat jfc those godforsaken dreads
i wish i was the one to chop those fucker off.
also pls i will need that drawing in my inbox asap thanks~🎃
#your dog wanted love and i hope to hell you gave her love#little baby puppy#shes the boss didnt you know???#frnkiebby#rosethrorn#frank iero#mcr#my chemical romance#mcrmy#frnkiero#my chem#frnkie#ilhsm
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Okay, so, if I could mod, which I can't for multitude of reasons (mainly "my computer is dying" and "I has the dumb"... Also "I cannot art") I would make a horror mod SO FAST-
"Lea SDV is supposed to be cosy, not scary" first of all *points at all the yandere mods*, second of all SCARY IS COSY TO ME-
*coughs* Anyway-
So, the framework would be as follows: On a random night in Fall (ideally a rainy night but idk if that's doable), your spouse would have a nightmare. You would then become the hero of said nightmare and solve whatever horror scenario is happening. With it being just a nightmare it wouldn't permanently alter your game so I COULD KILL WHOEVER AND DESTROY WHATEVER I WANT YAY!
It would work like a festival I suppose? No time actually passes? IDK if that makes sense but it does to me.
You would probably get hearts from this assuming you're not at 14 Hearts with them already even though you technically didn't actually do anything lmao. ✌️
Okay, so, each bachelor and bachelorette nightmare would go something like this maybe (AND REMEMBER: THESE ARE NIGHTMARES THEY ARE HAVING! CANON BEHAVIOR DO NOT APPLY):
-Harvey: OOPS HE INSPIRED THIS WHOLE IDEA LMAO. You know how he's got an... Alarming amount of dialogue regarding losing patient worries? Yeah... His nightmare would essentially be Frankenstein... Except Harvey's Victor. Which would just go SO POORLY... Let's all revel for a bit in how beautifully poorly that would go... 💕
-Maru: Maru makes the Blob, Blob destroys half the town. Pretty cut and dry, honestly. Just... Blob. 💕
-Penny: The children are being replaced during the night by doppelgangers. Wrong, unsettling doppelgangers. You and Penny investigate why, taking you into the sewers (IT WON'T BE KROBUS BEHIND IT, I PROMISE, I WOULDN'T DO THAT TO KROBIE 😭)
-Shane: SO, things are being destroyed in the night, sometimes animals turn up dead, town's getting freaked out, you're tasked with investigating because sorry you're the main character lmao. Turns out Shane's therapist is hypnotizing Shane and he's getting programmed to go do these things during the night YAY! Poor guy.
-Sebastian: Here, have this, we all know you want it! *tosses vampire Sebastian at you*. (I'm not particularly fond of Sebastian, in all honesty, but I'm sure vampire Sebastian would make his fans V Happy lmao. Yes, you'd get to let him drink from you, you freaks. /aff)
-Leah: ...Kel's a slasher now? (Sorry, I don't particularly care for Leah either, but hey. I assume you guys enjoyed punching Kel. You'll probably enjoy killing Kel in a brutal battle of self defense right?)
-Elliott: Ya'll seen Creepshow? (*Everyone starts groaning because I haven't shut up about Creepshow since the green rain*) Okay, there's a story where Leslie Neilsen (Naked Gun, Airplane, THAT Leslie Neilsen) drowns a couple in the ocean and their corpses break into his home to get revenge. It's that except Elliott didn't kill them. Because nightmare, you and Elliott are back in his cabin on the beach, bodies are coming out of the water, and quickly becoming yours and Willy's problem. (No Willy didn't kill them either. Probably.)
-Alex: He's on a gridball team, Coach is having him take some experimental drug so he plays gridball better, something something Werewolf. Let him and Dusty run around together lmao. Except oh no he accidentally spooks the town! :(
-Abigail: LOOK. It's me, I have to reference Evil Dead somewhere. Abigail seems like she'd be the most irresponsible if handed the Necronomicon, so she's getting the Necronomicon.
AND I HAVE NO IDEAS FOR EMILY, HALEY, AND SAM NOOOO. I FAILED THEM 😭 Pretend I have great thought out ideas for them, they deserve them.
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Thundercracker, sighing, referring to Starscream and Megatron: They’ve been fighting since they woke up.
Skywarp: Good! I’m glad they’re back into a little healthy competition.
Frenzy, giggling as he enters with Rumble: They’re trying to drown each other down in the sewers as we speak.
#transformers incorrect quotes#source: unknown#Thundercracker#Frenzy#Rumble#Skywarp#Megatron#Starscream#Not a ship#G1#Transformers G1
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New 52 Batgirl issue #7 Thoughts.
This one has Dinah in it. That’s a plus.
Anyway, let’s get started.
Overview:

We start off with a (sarcastic) lovely page of Barbara’s head being held under sewer water. It is a striking image that immediately makes you keep reading.


Batgirl gets out, obviously, but nearly being drowned and desperate for air, she’s in no condition to fight.


Grotesque (That’s his name) slips away and then we get a flashback to two hours ago.

And she’s visiting Dinah to ask for a spar. Because what else are two women to do in the middle of the night?

“Wait… this is too easy. Are you Batgirl? Did some cheerleader steal her costume?” (She doesn’t know what’s to come in future volumes.)
Barbara then has some introspection pointing out how she’s been off her game in the last few adventures.

She gets a few good hits in until Canary grabs her arm and ends the match. We get a brief Joker flashback which feels a bit out of place but I get the point of it.
This scene between Canary and Batgirl is effectively about stating: Barbara is Batgirl, physically, she’s back in the game, but she’s effectively re-learning on the fly.


In other news, Jimbo gets a visit from Barb. And we get a reference to James Junior.
Dinah uses some tough love to convince Barbara to get back out there, which I am a little bit iffy on the wording of. Yeah, I can buy some tough love, but I don’t think slapping your friend and pointing out how your mom is dead while hers is back in her life is the best thing to say.
Anyway, we get the lead up to how we got here, and Batgirl is ready to interrogate one of Grotesque’s goons. And as luck would have it?
It’s one of Joker’s old henchmen, one of the two who were with him on that fateful day.
Admittedly, a good Cliffhanger.
Another good issue, despite my minor complaints.
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Sonic adventure 2 but told through notes I took while playing part 3
Time for the mines
A knuckles level
Gonna be tougher than he thought
Oh God it is a water temple
Water level unlocks and locks different areas
Drowned
All 3 get
Back to the city
Always alot of police around when u don't need them
Facts sonic
No signal from emeralds
Space only explanation
Knuckles in the sewers
The mines connect to the sewers?
Amy leave his head alone
Again Tails buddy I am sure it is important but can we get the audio guy to chill out here
Tails is tracking the president
Definitely not illegal at all
He has hacked the president's phone
Almost took knuckles' head off tails chill
Tails ain't waiting Amy he is gone
Route 101
Gotta get the president
Mario cart time
Drift king
Found you mister president
Reports say country is in crisis
What u want Egg boy
Full surrender or boom
Sonic heard that though the window
Now in the president's car
And cutting people off again
Good question Mr president
Hey wait
Signal from agent
They really raided the president's car, dissed Eggman, then jumped out a window and refused to elaborate
Pyramid time
Eggman went in there
Bat girl again
Time to kick some empireal butts
Lots of tails love for these last few levels
Hidden base
Avoid the quick sand
Blow up Egg blocks
Lots of animals omg
Is the colour of the animal it's rarity?
The animals shall be sacrificed to the child
Can I but him in the transporter thing?
I CAN
Okay he is in there now
Pyramid cave time
Half pipe time
Hourglass doors
Swing poles
Oh thing
Bounce bracelet
Bounce jump thing?
Doors that need a key
More half pipe
Done
Let's see if I can leave my Chao
I cannot
Wtf
Okay take the child out of the transporter
Headed to the center of the base
Eggman like machines
Gotta have a spare spaceship
Need key
I GOTTA GET IN THERE
Knuckles find key
Worlds greatest treasure hunter
Took me way too long to find the hammer gloves
Can now break metal boxes
Oh
I killed omachao
Didn't even think to try
Oh
Nvm
He back
Lots of digging through walls later
Key gotten
OK
Let's try to win a race
Mushroom race
My boy can run now
Wipes contest
Canyon
Wiped
Crab time
Easy work
Valley now
Jump off a cliff for the win
All level 1 races won
Got a sonic thing
What that noise
Bug ghost
King boom boo
Boss
Run around the circle to get behind him while he is busy attacking
Hit the little guy with the Hourglass to open skylights and fey boss
Dig up boss when he tries to hide
Smack da ghost
Rinse repeat
Knuckles looks like his only thought the whole time is"oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit" as he runs around
Boss done
Door open
What did you guys do?
Eggman here
Leave it to sonic
Eggman gonna kill us
Big golem man
I AM THE EGGMAN
Second boss in a row
Egg golem
Run around big boys ring climb his "back stairs"° hit big weak spot oh his head
Boss done
Nice try rocky
Cutscene
Pyramid opens
Space ship inside
Sonic run
TO SPACE
So this is the ark
Hit a rock
Knocked open the cargo bay and ditch the master emerald pieces
Don't touch that lever
*all scream*
What's up with that tyrannical knuckles
Place shut down after "incident" 50 years ago
Was advanced but now empty
Not much time
Impenetrable from outside attacks
Tails has a fake emerald
Anti emerald
Destroy power supply
Switch emerald out
Win
Amy got nothing to do and is gonna bitch
Running through ship with tails
Gole in hull claim me a few times
Bazooka
Big gum go brrrrrrrrrrrr
Like proto Chaos guys are here
Destroy generator for the win
More tubes for the child
The child for reference
Gonna hang put witht the kids till next time on this exiting adven- hold on one of the kids is drowning as I write this(not even kidding)what a little guy
#tails the fox#bit#text post#video games#knuckles the echidna#sonic the hedgehog#sonic adventure 2#chao#eggman#rouge the bat#uh oh#sonic#my children are doomed to die
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What type of music do you like / have you been jamming to recently? Any recommendations?
(my internet died halfway through this so i nearly had to rewrite it)
you caught me at a bad time i was schmooving to a sewerslvt playlist yesterday ;-;
okay to be serious for a moment. uh. i don't think i have super good or interesting (or normal) tastes in music? i can point you to some of the things i think are cool and good, and i can also point you to things that i listen to for mood.
ive also probably mentioned some of these before (probably all of them?) so sorry if there's repeats
(okay this ended up being longer than expected so cut vv)
good (mostly not depressing stuff?):
Bill Wurtz – weirdly dreamlike jazzy stuff (?) i recommend 'At the Corner Store' and then i recommend you listen to all his other stuff
Ujico*/Snail's House: ive probably ranted about this guy before; 'Cosmo Funk' is probably your entry level snails house song. sweet adorable future bass, my go to for free serotonin
Heaven Pierce Her – Ultrakill: Violence, the game's newest EP. generally melancholic but really sick especially in context. 'War Without Reason' is probably my new favourite track in the whole game? (you can tell i like amen breaks lol)
also ofc i have to mention john / TOOBOE!! shout out to @donutinsideofashark for introducing me to this guy. some recs: 'Tablet', 'Roman', and 'Appare kanpai' – stuff goes hard and makes me wish i knew jp so i could actually remember lyrics
mood (depressing and/or weirder stuff):
vivivivivi's Dead but Dreaming: concept album about a dead god, mostly chiptune instrumental stuff until the second-last track – personally I LOVE this album, but as someone said, it probably sucks unless you have autism (disclaimer: i'm not diagnosed autistic, this is a reference to the pinned comment). this particular album influences a lot of my works to be honest
two more vivivivivi beepbox albums, ones that are a little more lively: Sisyphus and Silly Little Songs from my Silly Little Head. probably not to the tastes of sane and normal people but i like the beeps and boops :)
sewerslvt: breakbeat stuff from a dark place. people seem to not like sewerslvt fans which is why i'm reluctant to talk about this one but whatever. idk what you'd call their genre (i've heard it described as ambient jungle, trance, something or other dnb, but most importantly NOT breakcore. call sewerslvt breakcore and you are signing up for a hell of a flamewar) listen if you like amen breaks and hate yourself (i hope not…) idk what to even recommend here… i stumbled across her first with Drowning In The Sewer years ago. i've been getting back into their stuff recently, which is probably not a good sign for my mental health… currently listening to 'was it weird that i listened to im god by clams casino's when i lost my virginity' which is a hell of a title
Heaven Pierce Her again – The Enigma of Heaven and Other Daily Delusions: weird album about religion and the internet. since this is hakita again there are amen breaks. good if ur fuckin WEIRD. i recommend most of HPH's work
i've also been listening to an ultrakill fan artist called Marzuku, who does – guess what – more amen break stuff. i don't know man, but 'At Ends' is pretty good
shit fuck of course the jvne section ends up being a whole paragraph just to say don't listen to their stuff.
THAT'S IT IT'S TIME TO WRAP THIS UP THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK. damn this got long. this is what happens when you ask me about my interests LMFAO
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a personal Mario movie review from yours truly.
ok, so, I'm very natural over Mario franchise. I don't love it, but I don't hate it either. so this review is mainly from someone who is there only for the animation (also for Jack Black ofc). cool? cool. alright.
spoilers below
I'm going to be super upfront with the "good stuff", and sorta detailed with the "meh stuff". mostly because the good stuff is very self-explanatory while for the negative ones I feel like at least I should give a little bit of reason why I feel that way.
good stuff
I love the world-building, everything is very well-detailed and the environment is insanely rich
character designs? love it. they look absolutely alive and expressive
the casting. I think they're all really good???? I personally think Chris Pratt is alright too ig? I mean I kinda don't care, I was distracted with everything else in the movie. but he's fine.
Jack Black. nuff said.
I love Toad. I love Peach. DK. BROWSER??? everyone's very likable damn.
I'm obsessed with the 3d models ngl. there are times when I was focused more on the models than I was on the story. It's really distracting in a good way.
Storywise, I think it's decent but also fun!
love love love the dynamic between Mario and Luigi. Peak dynamic, really.
Such a nostalgia trip. I for one who doesn't know much about Mario had such a blast listening to all the soundtracks and looking at the itsy bitsy references and such.
obsessed with Lumalee. let em die :(
/////////////
the credit animation is super colorful I wish I could eat it.
^ I was watching this with a friend who is obsessed with Mario. there are times when he went absolutely insane and explained some stuff that I didn't know. which I think it's cool! it's crazy how there are literally easter eggs and fan service everywhere, it doesn't feel forced too. I really could see why people love it so much.
meh stuff
ok, imma be honest. I'm just gonna complained about the plot holes here,, It didn't really effect the story, but it did confuse me a bunch of times. again, this is coming from someone who doesn't know much about Mario. I might miss some stuff.
the transition when Mario/Luigi got teleported from Brooklyn to the Mushroom Kingdom. like, why? what's so special about that specific pipe?
also before that. why's Brooklyn drowning all of a sudden lmaoo. that part kinda felt forced just so Mario and Luigi had a reason to go below the sewer. it sorta makes sense I guess? but the pacing is pretty dang weird.
how does Peach know her own kind? "you're a human!". she was a literal baby when she first got to the Mushroom Kingdom
I love love love Toad character. I just don't understand his presence? I mean sure, he's bringing the comedy, but you could find the "comedy" elsewhere too. so his character is a bit useless despite him being the protector. long story short, the movie would be fine with or without him < this is how much his character matters imo.
the pacing after Mario agreed to fight with DK and then suddenly he's on the stage. tbf this isn't really a big deal? but the transition kinda bugged me.
I don't know what exactly they wanted to do with Mario and Peach relationship. do they like each other romantically? it doesn't feel like it despite being teased a few times.
my dude Luigi has to sit in the cage for how long now? kinda suck. I wanna know more about him, I wanna see him more in action.
that being said. I wish they did more with Luigi, give him something to develop on. because seeing him fighting Browser doesn't feel as rewarding as how we see Mario. all he did most of the time was get caught and sit in a cage while Mario had to go through all those bullshit. but I get it though. storytelling wise, Luigi is supposedly Mario's goal. to get him back and all that. I get that.
I can't feel sad for Mario for some reason??? (this has nothing to do with Cris Pratt btw). his supposedly "emotional" scenes didn't impact me at all. in fact, I felt awkward. I honestly don't know why though.
the final fight scene is also awkward? I mean it's cool, don't get me wrong. I think it has to do with where they're fighting? I guess imma blame Brooklyn for this.
the 80's pop songs felt out of place, but maybe that's just me.
personal rating? 7.
but I genuinely get why people love this movie.
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LOOK MY WAY SPOILERS
Some ranting from me for he new music video, spoilers under the cut!!
First of all, the visuals were fucking beautiful and eye pleasing. I specifically like these shots/scenes:
The lineart part was stunning and I'm still rewatching again and again as I'm typing


Next, I just liked a small detail of a locked book

The symbolism, I am sobbing. When stolas says "let me hold you" he is holding a full moon, the nights they meet. When mentioning you it's it reference to a full moon when they get to meet and im crying.

Also any shot were Stolas was crying I'm sobbing.
And final point: TW for Sewer slide
I personally hate the fucking theory about Stolas dying, but the ending scene where he was "drowning", really hurts. And idk why but my first thought is that if Stolas is left without blitz, he might kill himself. He's not happy anymore, he has to take drugs that seem to come from Belphegor herself based on packaging (probaly means they're extra strong if a sin has to make them). I don't think he would because of Octavia but if angst writers and readers needs it there ya go.
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RAMBLE TO US KING, TELL US ABOUT RUSH'S BACKSTORY
So, Rush’s backstory, abridged. [MAIN AU/MAIN AU VARIANTS ONLY]
DOES NOT APPLY TO TO POLY AU/INGENS RAPAX
Originally, I was gonna make a fic called gutter rat but I lost motivation. But I’ll leave the undeveloped version so I can slowly develop it later.
Doing/releasing this for fun! Yipee!
Born into the sewer to a single mother. Either the only survivor of its litter or it had no siblings to begin with.
Earliest memories are of it kneading into its mama’s fur and running water.
Rush might’ve actually learned a different language from her, but I’m not going to force ANYTHING NEW about Rush.
Yep, Rush is a mama’s boy.
They both lived underneath
She was big, soft. She had smoky fur like Rush’s. The smile. Though she was
Rush’s mother also was extremely sick and very, very hyper paranoid that something would happen to her only living offspring. So they never, really fully entered the hotel.
To be fair, a lifetime in the sewers will do that to you.
The two lived in the sewers beneath the hotel, Rush would occasionally emerge from the sewers and play with the other tiny entities under its mother’s surveillance.
Rush played with Ambush the most frequently.
Rushlet and Ambushling. :)
Rush would return and curl up next to its mother at night and eat little things of sewer algae and whack at tiny bits of algae.
It was a good life.
Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end.
I don’t know how Rush’s mother died yet, since it’s notoriously difficult to kill an entity. But Rush found her cold. Fading away into flaking pieces. Her energy field collapsing and decomposing.
It curled up near her and just..cried. Because it was a child and it didn’t know what to do. Kneading cold skin and fur.
Rush tried to go to the hotel but got lost in the sewers.
And it spent YEARS in what it considered to be emotional and physical hell.
Also how it learned to swim. (Nearly drowned a few times in floodings. Traumatizing it more.)
Would get into nasty piss fights with other entities down there, would occasionally receive injuries from hitting sharp parts of walls.
Became a HUGE asshole to protect itself physically and emotionally and started going out of its way to attack or bully entities who were in its territory.
Eventually, it found the hotel again.
Decided to start living there.
Unfortunately, Rush was still a bully. Especially towards Figure (who, was a child of a single parent..and lived happily. Yipee! Projection!) But
Would tear up Figure’s books in front of it, steal books from its hands, knock shit over on the library, say rude shit.
Rush was a young adult by then just a reference for time passed.
Uhhh the bullying quickly ended when Figure told Rueben about the bullying and one night, Rush comes into the library and the little fucker gets knocked out by a angry tiny man in a cowboy hat.
Imagine the markiplier punching you meme. That’s Rueben. Pissed off country boy gave Rush the gatlinburg gas fire.
Once it was knocked out it dragged that lil shit out of the the library door and yelled “- AND IF I TRACK YA DOWN IN THE ACT OF BROWNEATIN ‘MAH KID AGAIN BY JAMES I’LL PUT A GODDAMNED BULLET HOLE IN YER HEAD!” Before tossing it out like a sack of potatoes.
Right in front of everyone too.
ANYWAYS.
Ambush still had a crush from when it was a child that never really went away.
“I mean, it’s not like it bullied me yet-“ *Depth stares in horror.*
Depth was scared/mad when it found out because Rush at the time was a walking red flag and definitely not the same entity they played with as a child.
Ambush went ahead, and somehow managed to befriend Rush.
Rush also, had a crush. Thought to be honest it had a lot of self loathing so. didn’t think it deserved nice things.
Eventually, Rush had a mental breakdown (still trying to figure out what triggered said event ^) and went back to the sewers, but Ambush followed.
Rush showed its metaphorical underbelly to Ambush that night and expected to be killed but instead its pain was validated and it was comforted..??
..and then the two confessed to each other and then Ambush had a really important conversation with it.
Basically the TDLR is “If you want me, you need to treat other entities with the same love, dignity and respect I treat you with.”
And baby girl /gn just.
Folded.
All (almost all ) the hate for itself, the world and others melted out of its body. Leaving something soft behind that Ambush gently embraced.
Not to say all the mean parts left..but..
Yea its life changed in that sewer.
They also loudly made out down there.
When it came up it apologized to Figure and eventually everyone realized Rush kinda just. Unassed it’s hole.
Ambush really said “I could fix it” and then DID.
Well, I mean too be fair, It was mostly all Rush but if the two hadn’t revealed their most deepest, intimate secrets and traumas to each other I don’t think they would’ve gotten anywhere good.
Other stuff:
Yes. Ambush is aware of all of this.
If Rush ever saw the movie it would cry during the entirety of the Bambi movie.
“It’s okay pookie! The fawn grows up and falls in love!!” “RWAUUUGH HE LOST HIS MAMAAAA!!”
Rush HATES the cold. HATES. HATES. And if it feels too cold it’ll start to excessively groom itself, Ambush, and its children until it they feel warm again.
The leftover asshole parts still linger I just gotta figure out which parts of Rush’s psyche would lash out in an unjustified manner.
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So. It seems they did a movie “based on” the Missile Alert debacle back in 2018. Only, y’know, they made it an actual missile and all.
The trailer is painfully bad. The vibe I’m getting from the ads is that this is a Christian film desperately trying to hide that fact. There is a review on IMDB gushing about how wonderful it is and how it changed the reviewer. Please note that the film won’t be released for another two days. Funny how this review is dated from 2020 on a 2023 movie.
As someone who lived through the actual event, let me go over what actually happened:
On Saturday, January 13th, 2018, a large portion of cell phones in the State of Hawaii went off with the emergency alert. Until this event, this was not an unusual thing. We’d get this every goddamn time it rained hard, because any rain can cause the streams to flash flood and drown anyone fooling around nearby. However, as it was bright and sunny that day, everyone went, “uh-oh. Tsunami?” As tsunami alerts are the other thing out here you can expect to set off the emergency alert tone on your phone.
I believe my exact words upon picking up my phone and seeing the missile alert message was, “you have got to be fucking kidding me!”
We hadn’t opened yet, so step one was get all of the staff in the work room to minimize the number of windows we were next to. Step two was try to find any official word from anybody about what was going and and what we should do, if anything.
There was no word from ANYBODY, official or otherwise, for over half an hour. Not even a,”yeah, we got this message, we’re trying to find out what’s going on” from the TV or radio news. Nothing on the official websites either. The period is referred to as the “38 minutes of terror,” and this was the main scandal, aside from the fact it happened at all.
Some people did panic. There was an incident of parents putting their kids down into the sewer in Honolulu. Reportedly, there was at least one heart attack caused by it. People parked in the tunnels on the H-3 highway. Some stores hauled people in off the street, and put them in back rooms or coolers or anywhere it seemed like shelter. Wal-Mart, by contrast, reportedly threw ALL their customers outside and locked the doors. A lot of people called loved ones to say goodbye, just in case. Our security guard would end up being several hours late, because his neighbors were military, and they dragged him to the bomb shelter on the base, which was crowded with people, because in spite of the official armed forces “we knew it was fake,” stance, they still put their people into their bomb shelters until the official all-clear.
But for the majority? Concern mixed with general disbelief. The sirens never went off in most areas, which probably kept the panic down, but the lack of any word for so long actually made some of us wonder if it was for real, and that the people in charge just couldn’t find their own asses, or be bothered to give anyone instructions. Certainly the news before this had been full of “North Korea has missiles that can probably reach California, therefore they DEFINITELY have missiles that can hit Hawaii. We’re boned, people!” Which is probably why our first thought wasn’t tasteless prank, or hacker trying to terrorize people. It was plausible to us.
The Governor FINALLY got into his Twitter account, and word got around that it was a false alarm after all. We opened at our normal time. Some people laughed, some were pissed. Pretty much everyone was glad it was a false alert, rather than an actual nuclear threat. (I discovered my coworkers had never even heard of Duck and Cover, much less had any idea there was actual advice, pointless or otherwise, of what do do in the event of a bomb.)
The investigation found some shitty management in the department (said managers all resigning pretty much that week, because they knew they done fucked up), but the actual fuckup was caused by a dipshit on staff who set if off, apparently thinking the drill was the real deal, and then refusing to do anything to fix it, or even move out of his chair, while his coworkers scrambled to unshit the bed.
I call this person a dipshit because he subsequently refused to take any responsibility for the fuckup, went ON THE NEWS insisting he wasn’t to blame (while his superiors had taken great care to not release any identifying information about “the individual” in order to protect him from death threats and lawsuits,) and couldn’t decide on “I thought it was real,” or “I knew it was a drill but triggered it by accident,” as his defense. The official report noted that pretty much all of his coworkers had been complaining about his incompetence for years, while management did nothing. Even the union apparently agreed, because he was fired.
Nobody has any confidence that they’ve really improved the system. What did change is that Hawaii will no longer issue alerts for ballistic missiles. As in, if it happens for real, we will NOT be informed beforehand. Obviously that’s easier than making the alert system better, and/or creating actual shelters and plans for the civilian populace.
So, y’know, if you do decide to watch this “20 Minutes” movie, keep that in mind. We will first know about an incoming missile when it explodes something. Nobody’s gonna tell us beforehand to give us time to “get right with Jesus” or whatever. And while I love me a good bad disaster movie, just the trailer made my head hurt. I’m not watching any more of THAT.
If I want a completely fake “based on real events” movie experience, I’ll go watch Cocaine Bear, a movie that loudly and proudly owns its ridiculousness.
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My Milgram ocs as long palette names because making the twst version was fun
Based on this post from @.fivepointpalettes + later palettes. Let's go!!
Just Friends But We Kiss Sometimes - LITERALLY DAISUKE AND RYUTO I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY
Let Me Be Your Unreliable Narrator, Baby! - Every prisoner lmao
Focus On Me (Ignore The Blood) - Suzume, Haku
I Touch You And My Hands Burn My Hands Burn My Hands Burn (What Have You Done) - Daisuke, Suzume
Well First Of All I Am Positive What You Did Is A Criminal Offense / And Second Of All Why Didn’t You Invite Me - Suzume (She seems like the kind of girl who would feel left out when it comes to activities like this)
What’s A Little Murder Between Friends - Rin (This is kind of mean but its funny 💀)
I’m Sorry I Chewed Through Your Walls But You Must Understand I’m Calcium Deficient / Please Be Mindful Of The Evil Yoghurt Demon In The Freezer - I don't know why but these reminded me of Ichiro
Being In Love And How It Sucks Sometimes - Daisuke, Suzume, Rin, Noa (Sad little meow meows)
Do You Remember When You Told Me That You Love Me When You Told Me That You Love Me When You Told Me That You - Suzume
I Loved You I Did So How Did We End Up Like This - Daisuke, Rin, Noa
This Will Hurt You More Than It’ll Hurt Me - And That’s Okay! - Akane, Daisuke, Haruto (They're vibing guys)
I Need You To Understand That I Really Do Want What’s Best For You - And That Simply Isn’t Me - Noa
I’m Always At Least A Little Bit Scared Hopeless And Frustrated - Akane, Yui, Noa, Mayumi (This is the opposite of girlboss)
Can You Help Me Find What’s Wrong With Me / An Unhealthy Relationship With One’s Own Identity - Ichiro, Daisuke, Suzume, Yui, Rin, Noa (They are not having fun)
Biting Into A Rubber Ball Like An Apple While Maintaining Full Eye Contact - Haruto (I think he would do this just to spite someone)
I’m Just A Normal Functioning Member Of The Human Race And There Is No Way Anyone Can Prove Otherwise - Kiyoshi, Mayumi
The Magical Princess’s Strawberry-Scented Battle Axe Of Infinite Bloodshed - Suzume
I Hate Citations Why Can’t You Just Trust Me - Suzume, Noa
Doctors Say You Need A Consistent Amount Of Sleep To Be Healthy So I Consistently Sleep For 4 Hours A Night / Too Cool To Sleep At A Reasonable Hour / I’m Sick But The Bags Under My Eyes Are Sicker / Who Needs Sleep When I Can Just Drop Dead For A Rest - Haruto (I can't- Giving him these palettes are so funny 💀💀💀)
Lonely Sewer Cryptid Looking For Love - Ichiro
The Privilege Of Being Born Somebody Else - Ichiro, Suzume, Yui, Kiyoshi (I don't like what this says about them)
Look At Her Go Biting Everyone Who Comes Near Her Like A Champ - Akane, Mayumi (One day they're gonna snap)
I Apologize If You Found Finding This Place Difficult But You Must Understand I Am Currently Evading Detection And Arrest For Crimes Undisclosed - Daisuke
And If You Thought It Was A Threat It Might Have Been - Daisuke, Suzume, Haku, Mayumi, Haruto
Putting On A Show To Seem Alive / When I Don’t Feel Alive - Daisuke
Time Has Stopped Passing A Long Time Ago - Everyone in Milgram should be getting cabin fever by now, right?
Once Again A Cold Rainy Winter Gives Way To A Cold Rainy Spring - Rin (Him and his seasons theme)
Here’s Cheers To The Man Who Stole My Heart Away - Suzume, Noa
The Sort Of Love You Only Feel When Drunk - Daisuke (Yes another 'On love' reference I can't stop)
It’s Past My Bedtime And I’m Thinking Of You - Rin
Oh Baby Don’t You Know Our Sort Is Locked Out Of Heaven - Haku, Mayumi (I REALLY don't like what this says about them)
You Have To Stop Making So Many Enemies - Haruto @ most of the prisoners (Its actually just the guilty prisoners lmao)
Keep All Body Parts On The Inside Of The Vehicle At All Times As Failure To Comply May Result In Having Them Unwillingly Removed - Haruto (This sounds like something he'd say)
Drowning In A Coffee Cup (What An Awful Way To Go) - Noa
My Overconfidence Is Astounding And It’s A Surprise I’ve Never Been Killed - Haruto (He's lucky my prisoners are all so chill)
I Understand Where You’re Coming From But Where Did You Get The Gun - Daisuke
Well That Was A Little Unnecessarily Brutal Don’t You Think? - Sender: Daisuke (He said he wasn't cut out for his work), Receiver: Akane, Suzume, Haku, Kiyoshi
Tender Words And Hellish Screams - The entirety of Milgram
You Smell Like Nonsense With A Hint Of Melancholy - Noa
I Live In A Room With No Windows / I Haven’t Left The House In Months - People are getting depression from being cooped up in Milgram for so long, right?
Forever Dizzy In This Lonely World - Ichiro, Akane, Suzume, Rin, Noa
Summer Lasts A Week At Best But My Dedication To Sweater Vests Is Eternal So Look Me In The Eye Little Teacup And Melt If It Bothers You So Much - Mayumi
You Can’t Just Ask A Guy Why He’s In Love - Daisuke
Can’t Let It Slip That There’s More To Me Than Little Old I - Kiyoshi
I Know I May Look Like A Real Person But I Am Actually Not A Real Person At All - Ichiro (I don't know what kind of mental illness he has but he sure has one or a few)
You Know How Sometimes An Unwanted Guest Comes Over And You Do All You Can To Make Them Leave While Remaining Polite / Fizzy Brained Children Are So Troublesome - Mayumi (They both apply to her so I'll put it like this even though the palettes have nothing in common)
You’re The First Descendant In A Line Of Workaholics Utterly Convinced Your Willingness To Sacrifice Your Own Health Determines Your Worth As A Human Being And Promptly Working Yourself To Death To Provide Unto Others What You Never Had A Chance To Understand You Deserved Yourself - Kiyoshi, Mayumi
I Am The Mirror In Which You Can See All The Evil In The World - Ahaha, everyone in Milgram
My Brain Operates On Frequencies You’ve Never Even Heard Of - Again, whatever Ichiro has going on /pos
Being Told I’m Allowed To Make My Final Class Project About Any Topic I Want Awakens A Demon Inside Me That Makes Me Subject My Classmates To Only The Finest Of My Obscure Interests - Noa
The Only Thing Greater Than My Ego Is My Impostor Syndrome - Daisuke, Haruto
The Cons Of Being My Friend Greatly Outweigh The Pros - Rin
You Are Who We Say You Are Because Public Opinion Beats Self Worth Every Time - Kiyoshi
Murder And Other Expressions Of Love - Daisuke, Suzume, Haku, Rin
You Locked Me In A Cage And Threw Away The Key And When You Found Someone Better I Was Left To Gnaw On The Bars For My Freedom - Suzume, Rin
What Do You MEAN There Was A Fire - Haruto (Poor warden-san)
A Little Weirdo Driven By Consumption - Ichiro
Your Love Has Brought Me To The Point Of No Returning - Suzume
Go To Sleep In The Morning And Wake Up At Noon Only To Go Back To Sleep Till Evening And Wake Up Full Of Regret And With A Headache - All that sleep deprivation finally caught up to Haruto
A Toast To Our Special Little Brand Of Sin - Milgram~!
The Man Of Wine And Cigarette Smoke / You And All Your Money That You’ve Stolen From The Poor / Thank You For Your Loss - Daisuke (His mafia side makes an appearance!)
Learn To Forgive Yourself - Noa (The only true innocent prisoner here /j)
I Don't Know What's In Your Head Why Are You Asking Me - Haruto (I can imagine the prisoners asking him what went down in their MVs and him going: does it look like I know?)
#this post helped me to know that Haruto is my only milgram oc who consistently stays up late (on purpose)#yes some of these give clues to the prisoners' crimes#prisoner 001: kanai ichiro#prisoner 002: kobayashi akane#prisoner 003: iwamoto daisuke#prisoner 004: toma suzume#prisoner 005: endo haku#prisoner 006: sasaki yui#prisoner 007: shigeru rin#prisoner 008: watanabe noa#prisoner 009: miyahara kiyoshi#prisoner 010: okura mayumi#prison guard: suzuki haruto
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FEEDBACK LOOP #14: Voodoo Macbeth: Armand Hammer's "Windbreaker"
…Each new morn / New widows howl, new orphans cry, new sorrows / Strike heaven on the face…
—Shakespeare, The Tragedy of Macbeth (1623)
They use me wrong, so I sing this song to this day.
—Nas, “I Gave You Power” (1996)
1.
Once upon a time, woods “had a gun once.” “Windbreaker” is woods’ adaptation of Shakespeare’s tragedie Macbeth. Stories retold and resold—twice the first time, like Saul Williams once said. Not until you’ve listened to Rakim on a rocky mountaintop have you heard hip-hop. And not until you’ve staged Shakespeare in a sludge-slicked 150th Street Harlem sewer have you heard hip-hop either. A young Orson Welles directed what became known as Voodoo Macbeth on behalf of the WPA’s Federal Theatre Project in 1936. Featuring a full African-American cast, the play took place in a quasi-Haitian setting complete with tropical-cum-skeletal stage design—palm fronds and bone altars. We live in Storyville where the population density reaches hypersensitive levels and the murder police can’t keep up with the homicides. (Meanwhile, the Second Witch busies herself with “Killing swine” [1.3.2] in Macbeth.) We’ve been here before, before. Slick Rick’s “Children’s Story” (1988) told us to bite our tongues, that this ain’t funny so don’t you dare laugh, it’s just another case about the wrong path. He warned, in a playful and pajamaed manner: “Straight and narrow or your soul gets cast.”
2.
“Windbreaker” is a [re]mixture in the witches/bitches brew of Nas’s “I Gave You Power” (1996), too. The power, you could guess, is a wily one capable of possession. “Possession” in a legal sense—nine-tenths of the law and so forth; possession of a firearm [see: S. Carter, B. Sigel, Shyne, et al.]—but also the possession the gun holds over its owner. Those finding themselves possessed by the gun—a weapon which “made you buckwild,” in Nas’s terms—should brace for berserk behavior modifications. We can splice together epileptic seizures and Santería and call it spirit possession just the same. The possession is pervasive—everywhere. The ubiquity of guns in the collective imagination takes up serious real estate—we’re talkin’ eminent domain land grabs—and Nas’s psyche is no exception:
I was around a lot of guns then. Guns were in my sleep, in my car, in my home. Guns were on my person, guns were on my friends. That’s how much they were around. There was so much around me that I rapped about it. It’s crazy to think about that today, but it was my reality. It was in my head 24/7.
“Windbreaker” functions as an exorcism of that exact sentiment.

3. RECKLESS WHAT
Blow wind! Come wrack!
—Shakespeare, Macbeth (5.5.58)
The wind forebodes. woods gets handed the gun “late night, right on the porch,” and it must be windbreaker weather. woods’ jacket rustles in the gusts. “I’ll give thee a wind” (1.3.12), the Second Witch says to the First, and the “wind” she refers to is what the witches bestow upon each other to exact revenge. woods, though, breaks their wind (true to the song’s title and his heroic epithet, likely). He’s not susceptible to their marshy shufflings, their murky hells. He “speak[s] things strange” (1.2.52-53), as Lennox says of the worthy Thane of Ross.
But the winds are everywhere (like guns)—they be blowin’ like Maceo Parker in a buhloone mindstate. They blow the horrid deed in every eye and “tears shall drown the wind” (1.7.24-25). Word to the RZA and Wendy Rene: after the laughter comes the tearz. But the winds swirl and cyclone and gyre skyward. woods, “like a naked newborn babe,” survives by “Striding the blast” (1.7.21-22) as a cherubim might, riding the breeze. He’s Kong learning to stop worrying and love da bomb. He straddles and hoots and hollers from the hydrogen missile. A hard acid reign’s a-gonna fall [RIP to Gajah].
Of Macbeth’s poor murderers, the second says: “I am one… / Whom the vile blows and buffets of the world / Hath so incensed that I am reckless what / I do to spite the world” (3.1.121-124). Shakespeare knows the sway of poverty over moral decisions, like the Apothecary in Romeo and Juliet whose “poverty, but not [his] will consents” to selling illegal, poisonous drugs to Romeo. woods gets beat back by the gale-force winds, but he bests those “buffets of the world.” Everything’s for sale except for the Beaufort scale.

4. YO-HO-HO
The gun, in the case of “Windbreaker,” is equivalent to Robert Louis Stevenson’s Black Spot. That is to say, the song isn’t so much a billy woods metanarrative as a twice-told tale of Billy Bones in Treasure Island (1883). Passed from pirate to pirate, the Black Spot is a black-sided death sentencing, a Last Judgment on a scrap of paper. Biblical bad luck. A Book of Revelation back-page pressed into a fist. Maritime connotations aside, the Black Spot signals that it’s marring time, so make yourself scarce or knuckle up.
woods claims to have only had the gun “for about a month,” and he was none too keen on keeping it. The gun, we assume, had traveled many travails and trials, tribulations too; that it had “been in the hands of mad thugs,” as Nas puts it. Mad meaning “many” but also “crazed” and “deranged.” Mad like diaries maintained by gravediggaz. Pick, sickle, and shovel-wielding men. The gun, the “brandished steel, / Which smoked with bloody execution” (1.2.19-20) is bequeathed to woods as it was to so many others. Less a gift than a curse. “Sick of the blood,” Nas-as-gun raps, “Sick of wrath of the next man’s grudge.” This gun—like any gun, perhaps—is one that harbors a self-consciousness. Maybe it is the guns that kill people, personified with malevolence [male violence].
Unlike countless others, woods doesn’t choose to use the gun to cement his masculinity. As Macbeth tells his wife, woods is already man enough, and “who dares do more is none” (1.7.52)—a negation of that manhood. Overkill, let’s call it. Mac daddies and MAC-10s: Nas is like the phallocentric Asian, half-man, half-guns blazing. “The barrel’s my dick,” he explains, “Uncircumcised, pull my skin back and cock me.” Macbeth, meanwhile, questions his hallucinating senses, “Is this a dagger which I see before me, / The handle toward my hand?” (2.2.44-45). The blade is bloody, possibly with menses, yet he still grapples for control: “Come, let me clutch / thee” (2.2.45-46). In doing so, he’s giving mics menstrual cycles. “The game is so irresistible to touch,” LL Cool J once said of the mic phallus, “You should see me when fiendin’ for microphones that I can clutch.”
In a letter to his wife, Macbeth writes that he “stood rapt in wonder” (1.5.6), explaining what he witnessed held him in thrall. On the porch, billy woods is likewise “rapt withal” (1.3.60). Banquo knows “instruments of darkness tell us truths” (1.3.136). But woods is “too full o’ th’ milk of human kindness” (1.5.17) to use the gun; he doesn’t have “slaughterous thoughts” (5.5.16). And even if he does, his ignorance and mystification prevent him from reaching for the strap.

5.
A dagger of the mind, a false creation…
—Macbeth (2.2.50)
The story told in “Windbreaker” raises questions of realities and false narratives, actual fears and imagined ones, authenticity and authorship—in short, the friction that exists between fiction and figment. woods mixes up the simulacra of hyperreality like the guy Quelle Chris knew on “PSA Drugfest 2003” that “mix[ed] up a spliff like witches with newt eye.” We’re pulled in by woods’ first-person point-of-view (“I had a gun once,” followed by a proliferation of Is) but put off by his reluctance to divulge the details. He bleep censors the name of who he “got it from.” By doing so, he protects the innocent, the guilty, and every gradation of conscience in between. The unidentified person who gives him the gun could be a peer, an elder, a mentor, a bad influence, or some combination thereof. Regardless, the nameless and faceless figure—a mysterious character, if we choose to lean into the fictitious realm—“showed [woods] how to load it” in the “same place [he] showed [woods] how to roll a blunt,” linking two illicit activities, both requiring punctilious attention to detail. Of gats and ganja; of heat and hemp.
woods demonstrates the blurry border between fact and fiction in the scene details. The gun is handed off clandestinely under the cover of “late night,” yet the location (“right on the porch”) is indiscreet. This doubling (call it down-low and out-front) plays out anadiplotically when woods says, “[They] was speaking soft, / Soft pack of ’ports.” The sibilance of “speaking soft” suggests secrecy (if worse come to worse keep this on the hush, Lil’ Cease might say), but the point-blank alliteration of “pack of ’ports” sounds like when your guns go pow-pow (word to Big L). Furthermore, the soft pack of stoges—though its connotation implies silence—has a plastic wrapping that crinkles like a windbreaker, attracting unwanted attention.
6.
The gun given to woods is far from perfect, in fact, the weapon is “scratched and marred where the numbers was filed.” Like the bleep censors, the redaction of the serial number safeguards against snitching. But, as the pattern of the one-verse song shows, that which is criminal is liminal. Those defaced numbers, well, “you could still see ’em.” One thinks of Macbeth’s dagger cloaked in hemoglobin: “...on thy blade and dudgeon, gouts of blood” (2.1.58). One remembers Nas’s encounter with “a wrecked-up TEC with numbers on his chest that say: / 5-2-O-9-3-8-5 and zero.” The TEC yearns to confess, “hoping one day police would place where he came from, / A name or some sort of person to claim him.” But with his “serial defaced,” the TEC shares the same fate as Lady Macbeth: beyond saving. Just as doctors can’t “raze out the written troubles of [Lady Macbeth’s] brain” (5.3.52), so too can’t you resurface a scratched-off serial number.
To include bleeped names and scratched-off serial numbers is to engage in a sort of scriptorium subterfuge. Historically, we’ve seen this in novels, as John Barth explained in “Lost in the Funhouse” (1967): “Initials, blanks, or both were often substituted for proper names in nineteenth-century fiction to enhance the illusion of reality. It is as if the author felt it necessary to delete the names for reasons of tact or legal liability. Interestingly, as with other aspects of realism, it is an illusion that is being enhanced, by purely artificial means.”
Uncertainty abounds. woods can’t even accurately identify the weapon he’s handed: “.38, .22—I’m not even sure.” It could just as well be Nas’s Desert Eagle, a “semi-auto with lead.” These redactions, this unknowingness, inevitably leads to confusion. One must forgo epistemic approaches and settle for feels. Nas’s aforementioned Desert Eagle, as an example, measures at “seven inches” and weighs “four pounds.”

7.
Emotional liftin’—please use the proper form: / Bend at the knee.
—“spongebob” (2019)
But little and heavy as a dead child. The game is the game, but the gravity of the situation increases with woods’ somber simile. That uzi, or .38, or .22— weighs a ton. But it’s the emotional weight that’s so exhausting. “Windbreaker” opens with a bevy of words with short-u sounds—words with heft, words that carry bend-at-the-knee weight: gun | once | month | blunt. A significant weight, like Biggie’s ubiquitous uh adlibs. woods throws haymakers, heaves shots. By all accounts, he’s acting “wild truculent” (as Breeze Brewin once said on “Weight” by the Indelible MC’s). woods holds the gun with “Macbeth hands,” a phrase he drops on Armand Hammer’s “Duppy.” Macbeth speaks of “dread exploits” (4.1.164), and woods works in dread[ed] talk (s/o to Velma Pollard), that Iyaric, a protest language and flexi lexicon, to ward off the weight of what violence he might have the capacity to engage in.
You show loyalty; they learn loyalty. But Macbeth disregards the value of his commander Banquo even after leading Duncan’s army alongside him. He keeps the plot to murder Banquo “from the common eye” for “sundry weighty reasons” (3.1.141-142), most of which are purely practical. The Thane of Cawdor doesn’t consider the guilty conscience he’ll have to carry. He doesn’t contemplate “that perilous stuff / Which weighs upon the heart” (5.3.54-55). woods does.
On “Heavy Water” (emphasis on the heavy—we’re talking some brine pool shit), woods told us “the play-within-the-play was G. Dep as Macbeth,” and thus hands us a key. G. Dep, who confessed to killing an innocent man seventeen years after the fact, couldn’t function under the weight of what he’d done. “I didn’t feel free and clear,” he said from prison where he’s serving 15-to-life. “Everyday I was faced with this memory, with this heinous act, that didn’t really have to happen….I had to do what I had to do to get that burden off my chest.” That burden off his chest. “Burden” from the Old English byrðen, meaning “load, weight” but also “a child.” (But little and heavy as a dead child.)
G. Dep endeavored to lift the weight off his chest, but woods prefers to hide the weight in a chest. woods secretes the gun—and his shame at even accepting it—in various places, all of which prove porous. He “had it hid under bed”—those deadweight d’s burying any misdeed deeply—but he “couldn’t sleep” like some Princess and the Piece. He’s a sensitive soul, feeling it penetrate his back leaving him black and blue all over his body. Mattress upon mattress upon mattress, and he still felt its presence. No quitter, woods seeks other unseen spots—ahem, hiding places—like “in the shed, somewhere Moms couldn’t reach.” I was made to kill, Nas rapped, and “that’s why they keep [the gun] concealed.” Nas tried to squeeze “under car seats” and sneak into clubs. By verse three of “I Gave You Power,” he’s “still stuck in the shelf with all the things that an outlaw hides.” As we see, any attempts at avoidance are mostly ineffective.
8. THE WEÏRD TURN PRO
woods is unsettled. Who can make sense of machine gun etiquette? The man feels damned. “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t,” he raps, noticing “both shoulders had demons.” Can’t brush ’em off. As Macbeth says, “Cannot be ill, cannot be good” (1.3.144). Out, damned spot, out, I say! One. Two. (5.1.37). But the spot is blown, and Lady Macbeth can’t do a damn thing about it. She can try to sound like Biz Markie as much as she wants (“...a one-two, a one-two…”); she can make like Special Ed and fetch the Cascade, but there’s no getting those red stains off her hands.
“I was scared,” woods tells us, “’cause [redacted] heard [redacted] was tryna rob me.” But even self-defense shuffles closer to self-destruction. “I was more scared,” he explains, “when I took the gun, to be honest.” He fears both the threat on his person and the weapon intended to ward off any such maneuvers. He feels stuck: “By then, too late to say I didn’t want it.” We can assume his “dome was aching” like the man in Nas’s song who reaches for the gun, finally. woods “walked home in the darkness,” in his frantic thoughts. Somewhere along his route he was detained by “three witches on the marshes.”
Rewind back to the beginning of the song. “And I know it better than before,” Fielded sings, “they want me to notice—even out the score.” Fielded becomes all three Weïrd Sisters in one: she turns to they. For weïrd read “fateful.” Depending on which Shakespeare folio you’re flipping through, the word is also spelled weyward and weyard. They all come from the Scottish form of wyrd, though—the Old English word for fate. The Weïrd Sisters, or witches, are tied up in some real Hussein Fatal/Fatal Hussein business. I’m pretty sure that I won’t be ready when they come through that door, Fielded sings with “the syllable of dolor” (4.3.9), evoking the lurking evil, the looming dread, that woods experiences. Fielded—whose stage-name is near-synonymous with the marshes and heaths on which the witches appear—sings of seething vengeance (“even out the score”) and simmering nervousness (“I got somebody coming for me in the night”).
Fielded, in their role as the Weïrd Sisters, is warmer to woods than Macbeth’s encounter with the witches. Fielded warns him, it sounds like, not to cross them. In an evasive move, woods goes metaphorical. He feels like a “dinosaur in the tar pit.” He marks sharks as “all cartilage.” (The witches include “maw and gulf / Of the ravaged salt-sea shark” [4.1.24-25] in their cauldron ingredients, by the way.) Sharks for woods; scorpions for Shakes. “O, full of scorpions is my mind” (3.2.41), Macbeth moans. woods feels his “blood cold as the water is,” while Macbeth looks to the “multitudinous seas incarnadine” (2.2.80), meaning the ocean turns blood-red. The arrival of Banquo’s ghost at dinner is likened to the approach of “the rugged Russian bear, / The armed rhinoceros, or th’ Hyrcan tiger (3.4.122-123). Bears, rhinos, sharks, scorpions, and tigers…oh my!

9. SLUMB’RY AGITATION
A heavy summons lies like lead upon me, / And yet I would not sleep…
—Banquo, Macbeth (2.1.8-9)
“Fair is foul, and foul is fair” (1.1.12-13), the witches say in unison. woods hovers through the fog and filthy air thinking, Fuck a fair one—I get mine the fast way, like Biggie on the “Flava in Ya Ear” remix from ’94. On “Halloween Fell on a Weekend,” woods was talkin’ witchy: “Fair is foul, / Awkward smile.” Nas, for the record, noted how the intrusive gun thoughts were “making every ghetto foul.”
But what’s really foul and utterly unfair—a flagrant foul, a Flagrant 2—is the sleep troubles. “I slept with no dreams,” woods raps. But his dreamless sleep is more of an insomnia. “Methought I heard a voice cry, ‘Sleep no more!” Macbeth says, turning over in the sheets to speak to himself in the third-person, “‘Macbeth does murder sleep’” (2.2.47-48). woods looks a ghost now, a somnolent wanderer: “Asleep on my feet, / Awake when niggas sleep.” The repetition of sleep at the start of one clause and at the end of the next signals the circularity of the story being told.
We can’t help but summon Nas’s “cousin of death.” And Macduff refers to “downy sleep” as “death’s counterfeit” (2.3.88). woods is restless, “tempest-tossed” (1.3.26), enduring the night where “wicked dreams abuse / The curtained sleep (2.1.62-63). “Headlights splashed the curtains,” woods raps, and instead of sheep he’s “counting every car passin’ in the street.” He may as well be midnight marauding like Lady Macbeth with a taper. When the Doctor notes that Lady Macbeth’s “eyes are open,” the Gentlewoman clarifies that “their sense are shut” (5.1.26-27). Nas, Queensbridge-bred, opens his penthouse lids to “see some cold nights and bloody days.” If only Lady Macbeth had been as alert as Nasir Jones or billy woods.
10. BLACK MACBETH WILL SEEM AS PURE AS SNOW
The gun, which was described as “little and heavy as a dead child” (G. Dep’s debut was called Child of the Ghetto, as fate would have it), returns to haunt us at the end of “Windbreaker.” The baby image, in Shakespeare’s terms, becomes “doubly redoubled” (1.2.42). When the hurly-burly’s done, it’s the kids who suffer. A generational pain that folds back in on itself. An inheritance of the horrific. Look around: dead babies are everywhere.
Ross speaks of Macduff’s murdered household where he discovered “babes / Savagely slaughtered” (4.3.240-241). Nas delivers a choral ode about how he, as gun, “might have took your first child.” Slick Rick rapped of “a little boy who was misled.” That boy found himself in a woods-like dilemma, calculating the consequences: I’ll do years if I pull this trigger. If not a corporeal death, a death of the spirit.
The Weïrd Sisters promise Banquo that he’ll father kings—bank on it, they say. And so Macbeth fears Banquo’s children will be the future kings of Scotland, usurping his throne. Macbeth decides: Banquo’s gotta go. Not only his brethren-in-arms, but Banquo’s son Fleance, too. Fleance “must embrace the fate / Of that dark hour” (3.1.156-157), Macbeth determines, all in order to assure his place on the throne. When Macbeth ambushes Banquo in Act 3, Scene 3, Banquo implores his son to “fly, fly, fly” (3.3.25)—he tells him to supa fly, to supa dupa fly. To be fresh, wild, and bold, too—like the Cold Crush would advise.
woods, as Banquo, is drawn into a terminal life, a posthumous life, when he is given the gun. That hand-off arranges his end. “Banquo when I think of my kids,” he raps. “Banquo when I kiss my son in his crib.” This is the Fleance farewell. But woods is unwilling to go the way of Banquo. He doesn’t only want to save his son—he wants to save himself. “Stunningly,” Nas says, “tears fall down the eyes of these so-called tough guys.” woods rebuffs the “heavy as a dead child” gun. The only weight he wishes to feel is his son asleep in his arms.

11. THE WOOD[S] OF BIRNAM
It felt wrong knowing niggas is waiting in Hell for him.
—Nas, “I Gave You Power”
“Here’s a knocking indeed!” remarks the Porter in Act 3, Scene 1. He considers the vocation of “porter of hell gate” and mocks the incessant knocking: “Knock, knock, knock! Who’s there, i’ / th’ name of Beelzebub?” (3.1.1-4). Careful what you ask for and be wary of the knocks you answer to. woods can knock the hustle. He’s none-too-anxious to join the mobb of “murd’ring ministers” (1.5.55) we hear about in the Scottish play or Track 4 on It Was Written. Still woods, eventually, commits to composing a kind of murda muzik—equally bloodletting and bloodshedding in its emotional registers and range. “[T]he blood-boltered Banquo smiles” (4.1.138) knowing he’s secured futures for his kids. He rests easy. It’s presupposed that the gun gives power, but on “Windbreaker” we learn that the weapon deprives us of power, leaving us with nothing to pass on but the curse.
Images:
Photograph of the Nat Karson design used to create the backdrop for the Federal Theatre Project production of Macbeth at the Lafayette Theatre, Harlem, 1936 (detail) | Opening of the Federal Theater Project production of Macbeth at the Lafayette Theatre, Harlem (1936) | Winslow Homer, Hurricane, Bahamas (1898) | Andy Warhol, Gun, black, white, and red on pink (c. 1981-82) | Ravi Zupa, Mightier Than Guns sculpture series, disassembled typewriter, stapler, and scrap metal (c. 2016) | G. Dep, Child of the Ghetto album cover, 2001 (detail) | “Macbeth visits the Weird Sisters (Three Witches) on the blasted heath,” title page by John Gilbert for an edition of Shakespeare’s works (1858–60) | Canada Lee as Banquo in the Federal Theatre Project production of Macbeth at the Lafayette Theatre, Harlem (1936) | Photograph of the Nat Karson design used to create the backdrop for the Federal Theatre Project production of Macbeth at the Lafayette Theatre, Harlem, 1936 (detail)
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