#maybe i should really just write books lol
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OOH THIS IS INTERESTING…
My first (and current) fav superhero is Spider-Man. I loved how genuinely real he felt, how he was the only superhero (that I knew of) who would crack jokes mid battle. While most superheroes were portrayed as depressed or dark or overly serious or filthy rich, he was a broke high school kid and that was relatable (despite the fact that I discovered him when I was like 4 years old).
My fav turtle depends on the iteration. I’ve only really seen Rise and those two live action films from like 2014, though I’ve seen some of the 2012 series. Across the board, Donnie’s always been my fave — not just because of purple, but he was the only one who was actually concerned with the plot and he wasn’t completely incompetent lol. But Rise Mikey stole my heart instantly, which was a shock since usually he was my least favourite. Rise Donnie is my second fav tho.
Mm. Relax. What’s that?? (Not exactly joking, but I guess writing stories would be my relaxer. Or watching Agatha Christie murder mysteries like Poirot or Marple!)
I. Love. Platypuses.
Reading’s always been tough for me (undiagnosed ADHD), but my fav book series is definitely PJO. Currently my mom and I are watching Marple together each night!
I am an introvert. People exhaust me.
Fav thing in my room… apart from my bed and laptop…? Maybe my art board, or — oh, oh! I know! I have a giant post-it that has notes from old college friends and coworkers.
Uh…. I’ve never had cider and I’m not a fan of hot chocolate. I’ve been told I make the best coco, tho! Which is weird, considering I won’t drink it…
Fav dog breed would be my dog, Coulson. He’s a mixed breed, but we think he’s tiger-pitbull boxer mix with some beagle in him.
I do not know my zodiac, and I do not care. No offense to anyone, but astrology is not my thing.
And NOW FOR YOU UNFORTUNATE SOULS —
Name a core memory? (My first trip to Disney World and watching the fireworks on my father’s shoulders. 🥹)
Sweet or sour pickles? (Sour. Sweet pickles should not exist.)
What colour would you assign your soul? (I think like… purple or even a tealish blue for me.)
Dream job? (Animator/content creator.)
What’s a word you can’t pronounce no matter what? (I said “par-meeshian” instead of parmesan once. I have yet to live it down.)
A story — book or fanfic — you’d like to recommend? (I read “The Humans” for college and always recommend it for grown ups. It was a COLLEGE BOOK, so there are some moments that aren’t great for kids. Plus a lot of swearing. But overall an engaging and interesting story that I loved.)
Name a fictional character you would fight on sight? (Krang Prime. I’ve never wanted to annihilate a character so much.)
A message you’d want to give your younger self? (You aren’t a freak, you’re just programmed differently than other humans and that’s okay. Also, don’t hold yourself to achievements or standards that you feel make you important. You’ll be okay.)
A song you are OBSESSED WITH? (Creating Monsters by Set It Off)
Breakfast, lunch, or dinner? Or, the forbidden choice, POST MIDNIGHT SNACK??? (Lunch or post-midnight lol)
@boots-with-the-fur-club @daboyau @littlemissartemisia @truths33k3r4 @cheetochild989 @exhaustedwriterartist @psychologicalwarclaire
Ten questions to ask a mutual
Instructions: prev asks ten questions and you answer them, then ask ten new ones and tag ten people to keep the chain going! I’ll go first
What is the weirdest thing you’ve eaten? (For me it’s the time I accidentally drank ants)
do you like purple or green more? (For me it’s a 50/50 I love them both)
what is your favorite two color color combo? (For me it’s purple and gold)
are you a cat or dog person? (Dogs 100%)
what is your favorite painting (Miranda by John William Waterhouse)
Mountains or beaches? (Mountains)
what’s your favorite dessert? (Lemon bars)
are you right or left handed? (Right but I used to be left handed)
salty or sweet? (Sweet)
summer or winter? (Winter)
I’m tagging 11 people but it’s whatever
@wra1th-k1ng
@bladevoyager
@tragedyanddust
@kindred-spirit-93
@urfavgreekmythnerd
@sickneurotic
@ry-diggity
@we-are-but-dead-stars
@thestarryfalls
@tamaruaart
@hermesmoly
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altho i am writing the outline of what will become a Book so i won't be saying everything ever about it, i do still want people to understand what hell i have been in this past week so well here ya go two thousands words of me just Talking about the history of virtual actors and pop stars in the latter half of the 20th century in [setting name pending], this is just some in-universe history b/c that's always fun
The use of virtual constructs (must think of some word that conveys 'AI person trapped in a box who is somewhat magic') in the second half of the 20th century
These constructs are harvested from [redacted] and captured in individualised containers which allow them to be controlled and tuned.
[copy-pasted from Discord from here on god help u]
So Pascal was basically already decently popular among the public before making his visual film debut for the first time, having been the host of an infrequently-aired radio show. he appeared in illustrations as far back as the 1920s and his appearance did change with the times, though there was some continuity - at some stage in like the 50s maybe they changed him too much in the newspaper ads and there were complaints lol so they changed him back. i think it is more impactful if his appearance is WHOLLY created. so basically in the 20s they were like "if we want people to engage with this guy we have to give him a face" so they gave him a face, he was traditionally attractive but not overly-so, they wanted him to feel relatable as well, not quite an everyman but he had to appear human enough not to make people uncomfortable or fall into the uncanny valley (in the 80s and 90s, this was no longer the design direction lol they cranked the 'impossibly perfect'/uncanny dial up to 11 at that point as the public's level of comfort improved and more out-there stuff became desirable).
When he made his TV debut in 1969 it was hyped up for months with ads which depicted him on set and in more realistic ways (almost appearing to be photographs - some even were!), while public reaction was carefully monitored. This was highly experimental and it still was not known whether the concept worked, so although they did hype it up, there was a level of caution too so as not to invite negative press.
The first series did not involve public audience members but people from the broadcasting studio standing in for them (this was not made known at the time). They used a combination of camera tricks and graphics to make it feel like he was physically standing in a room with these people (bearing in mind he was strictly contained and had no manifestation outside the waves - he was within a container at the base of the broadcasting apparatus, with a recording device which could cast his image live, so viewers at home were seeing cuts of the Pascal feed and cuts of the physical studio and audience stitched together to appear continuous)
That was part of the gimmick - it was commonly felt that a big construct should never be permitted to manifest/should have no manifestation, so the fact that he supposedly was manifesting but friendly and contained was a draw. the ads leaned into it quite a lot - marketing copy implying that you could touch him, go on dates with him, etc but always with a cheeky wink, a "not really", the audience at home were in on the secret of it not being real. but it worked really well and was super effective to generate hype without inviting accusations of trying to replace humans, and it sparked an entire golden era of constructs and manufactured celebrities. Pascal remained notorious for being one of the only ones that could believably interact with a studio audience in an unscripted manner, due to his 'maturity' as a construct and having been brought up in the 19th century conversational era of AI, raised on a diet of talking to philosophers.
The second season of the show came out quickly and to much anticipation, and with members of the public actually participating for the first time. The broadcasters set up a wall of CRTs in the studio which would display the container feed to people on-set, and wired up each audience member with a microphone so he could hear them too (he appeared to see them well enough through the camera equipment). He was excited to interact with them and they liked him too, but he always had this slightly mean streak which his broadcaster tried hard to soften. The meanness worked really well in the reality/game show format (his show was a mixture of contests but basically Wheel Of Fortune) where half the entertainment is watching audience members get dunked on sometimes, and having a slightly sardonic host can help the audience at home root for the contestants to win in spite of his opposition.
Episodes could be produced at a rapid pace by taping multiple at once - three identical sets were built for season 3 allowing for three episodes to be filmed at once because he could of course interact with everyone freely and essentially be in multiple places at once. this was also where the first issues showed up on-set - he began to miss his timing cues, arriving just a bit too late to the stage, or taking slightly too long to finish his nightly sign-off. this was not apparent publicly as the episodes were not shown live and could be edited, but any member of the public who was on the show was often hounded after by superfans, so some stories did come out about Pascal's 'odd' behaviour on set. there was a behind-the-scenes documentary made about the entire production process in season 3 as well, which included some interviews with Pascal himself, but mostly consisted of his handlers and technicians excitedly explaining the broadcast apparatus and containment devices and so on. after The Incident, the rare copies of this film became highly sought-after by collectors.
There were some teething problems but nothing too major. until the debut of season 4 in 1972, marked by their first 'special', a live broadcast. knowing that this couldn't be edited in post, Pascal took delight in being an absolute demon to the contestants, oftentimes barely staying within the realm of plausible deniability, and he made the wheel of fortune land on BANKRUPT for every single spin, which was not supposed to have been a possibility as the wheel was physical (though the lever which he turned to supposedly spin it was on-screen in the same virtual space with him, so he'd make a show of pulling the lever and some set worker behind the scenes would hit a switch in time to make the physical wheel spin). Again, the tapes of this incident are vanishingly rare as not many TV watchers had the ability to record live TV. But the ratings were huge, so nearly everyone the next day was like "did you see that crazy shit on tv last night???". People LOVED how mean he was and assumed it was just part of the show and that the contestants might have been actors too judging by how genuinely uncomfortable they looked (one even cried!).
Although there was no interruption in the airing of the rest of season 4 (all the episodes having been recorded prior to the live episode), behind the scenes he was barred from filming at this point so that he could be re-tuned and calibrated. But that wasn't the only barrier to the show's production - at this point, TV actors and presenters had started to feel threatened that they would be replaced by constructs which were unpaid and could be in multiple places at once, and had begun to agitate for a strike.
This affected production of the whole studio, and to avoid popular support growing in favour of the strike, they rushed the process to get Pascal back on the air ASAP. They started filming again, with Pascal supposedly cooperative after some finetuning and calibration. His controllers did not suspect how deep into his 'corruption' he had gotten since the TV debut, because he had been very cooperative for decades now just with some odd habits here and there.
It was accepted knowledge that constructs who had become corrupted (read: disobedient. I will have to think of better terms for… well a lot of this stuff) would stop cooperating, just go off the rails and maybe even manifest. Like day and night - perfect one second, monstrously disobedient the next. But he seemed to be normal enough, and his quirks were ascribed to the ageing radio-broadcast equipment they were using to contain him. Though the breakthrough into purely digital formats had not come about just yet, it was definitely on the horizon, and they wanted to keep him going until they could find a way to contain him digitally. For many reasons this never happened.
Anyway they started filming again, with a backdrop of pressure from the acting union. It had to be proven that the public liked virtual actors, but there were rumblings of that strike, and that it might end up in a potential deal where virtual actors were banned from certain roles and capacities.
They began filming and it all seemed fine, until
[redacted Incident details]
The public never really knew the full timeline of events that led up to the show's cancellation, because the taping schedule meant that the live episode, the one with the most warning signs, aired before the rest of season 4 did, which was extremely tame by comparison. I mean obviously people aware of how TV is made might have cottoned on to the fact that the live show was his last public performance, but overall that never stuck in people's minds, because they remembered season 4 ending very normally and then it just never being picked up again despite being such a popular show.
People wanted more of Pascal and there was an attempt to revive the radio show but with a human voice actor instead playing his character, but it wasn't popular because that's old news, and people knew pretty quickly that it wasn't really him. That was cancelled too after only a couple of months and the studio had to come out and announce that they had 'retired' him in favour of a more modern construct (coming soon!) because of the limitations of his old technology not being fit for the second half of the 70s and beyond. Pascal merchandise continued to be produced and sold but kind of how snoopy still appears on modern clothing even tho peanuts stopped running years ago - all old assets, relying on nostalgia, never promising a new appearance or refresh. He eventually passed into irrelevance, one of those forgotten childhood moments (he was notorious for being popular among stay-at-home mothers lol and by the 4th season airing, they had intentionally been putting him in less conservative outfits)
The late 70s and 80s saw the start of the digital era for constructs. The technology was more precise (though less resilient) for controlling and programming the constructs. Helper constructs (like AI helpers) had already been a thing for decades in space missions, aviation, and military applications but had started to slowly infiltrate other spheres of life. The digital format allowed them to be individualised and located in an end-consumer's home rather than broadcast from a distant location by some massive building-sized broadcast apparatus, allowing a greater degree of customisability and personalisation. Although acting unions eventually got their way and TV applications were curtailed, TV was no longer the front of the wave for the development of these things. We are now in the Digital Age.
It was all condensing into smaller and smaller pieces of tech, batteries were improving, microchips shrinking, until by the early 90s (mirroring development of portable phones) they could be wearable, and everyone could have a virtual personal assistant or friend. And the music industry was still unconquered ground. Constructs could play instruments, but vocals could be sketchy at times for new constructs who had not been socialised in their developmental period, as was the way of things now (the era of bespoke, decades-long philosophising with constructs to hone their conversational skills and theory of mind died with the turn of the 20th century). These things were being produced fast and had short shelf lives, so they could be rushed to market asap (and by the 21st century were built with planned obsolescence in mind, so that they wouldn't mature enough to allow any corruption to set in). But anyway they did manage to integrate a digital vocal trainer and producing singers became possible again.
Present day in the story, we are in the height of the boyband boom. At around this time (2003 babey that's where we are now!!!!!) the first 'true' digital pop stars made their debut - Unicorn and Kitty, a duo who always appeared together and were marketed as being partners. These were not wearable or personal assistants, but treated as actual pop stars. There was no more acknowledgement of the virtual star's incorporeal nature, like there had been with Pascal. They were marketed as having rich inner lives and on actually being, for real, alive, but they were not human - they were themed as alien visitors to Earth with marketable but inhuman features. It was all marketing of course but the highly advanced technology by now could almost support this application, and they appeared in hologram form at concert venues, signed autographs, and did collabs with human artists.
Kitty did not test as well with audiences (Unicorn was more popular and fans who wanted to imagine themselves dating Unicorn would sometimes be vitriolic towards Kitty) and the writers of the duo's life plot decided that Kitty would pull a 'I must go, my planet needs me' and be quietly written out, but it would give Unicorn a chance to perform these breakup songs that had been written for them, now with an almost convincing illusion of sadness. And now, coming soon, maybe YOU could win a date with Unicorn, yes you, normal person sitting at home!
and in case you were wondering what Unicorn looks like, Unicorn basically looks like this:
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sorry to be a bit of a hater but i do wish youtubers weren't so scared of making their videos just like, "reviews", whys everything gotta be a "video essay" all the time. every day my recommendations are filled with 40 minute videos titled "_____: An Underrated Masterpiece" where the first like five minutes are reading the wikipedia definition of "masterpiece" in a somber voice with dramatic themed text on screen. please just tell me how good or bad you think something is and use the rest of the runtime to explain why. you dont need to put on all these airs
#i know the ahem. channel. of some awe....... that whole situation kind of scared people off from using the word review#but like we live in the future now. you can make a review. i believe in you#AND LIKE i like a good video essay!! but im picky. because i read academic shit for fun#when i see a capital E essay im expecting theses. im expecting sub headers. im expecting multiple examples AND footnotes with asides#(and i know this is a controversial topic but i do expect them to be long. because if you read aloud a 4 page journal article its gonna)#(take a bit of time LOL maybe i just read too much academia shit. but i dunno man. theres not a lot you can say about like a big huge)#(topic with multiple angles if you only have like 10 minutes. maybe i just talk too slow. i need to breath <3 )#theres other formats too. surveys. retrospectives. informative essays. persuasive essays. etc#and like i also read lots of reviews not just of like movies and books but of like gallery exhibitions and shit!! they can be extremely#interesting a lot of work and some really beautiful writing!! nothing wrong with a review!!! theyre important#but i do get annoyed with like. the odd air of pretention i see in a lot of video essays. especially cause its usually not backed up by#the content. i dont care for those airs in academia either. nor do i like it in documentaries#just talk naturally. you'll find your voice. there might be pretention in it in the end but it'll be yours#if im making sense. i hear a lot of people talking in a pretention that is not their own. something they put on because thats what they#think they should do. you need to find your own pretention. be pretentious in a way that feels natural to youuuuuu#hell im being pretentious. about this LOL but like its my own. it is a pretentiousness ive built over the past half decade#play around. write a blog. i dunno. find your voice dear youtubers. find your voice
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"the michael kandel translation of "the witcher" short story can't hurt you!!"
the michael kandel translation of "the witcher" short story:
#WE HERE IN K L O T H S T U R#the witcher books#[ Nobody liked that. ]#i like how the first two 'main' translations (like published for mass market circulation ones i mean)#were like 'no we can't call it a strzyga... no no...'#(maybe like: 'the english readers won't understand...')#and then when the game and book hit (i.e. both beginning with geralt fighting the striga)#everyone was like 'whoa that striga was really cool'#idk idk enough about it yet to say anything definitively#but my experience and all the other reviews and experiences i've read#from other anglophone readers with no prior exposure to polish or broader slavic myth or culture#has been just like: 'whoa i never knew about that... that's really unique and cool'#and on the flip side. originally witcher gained popularity in part because of the familiarity of the fairy tale#and so despite that witcher in general takes a lot of everything from across europe#if i may just summarize it really obtusely and without taking the precaution of nuance and all#although the first two translations were very much intended to feature polish writers and writing#in the way of the actual translation it feels like they tried to diminish its 'polishness' for the english reader#like for example in chosen by fate itself there are no diacritics (though idk maybe that was a lack of capability of the printing press)#it FEELS like that i'm not saying it was intentional but#for example when you don't say 'leshies' and instead say 'bugbears' that feels like diminishing it#but then later when the witcher's quote-unquote 'polishness' is allowed to come through clearer#then it actually is part of why english audiences were like whoa this is interesting i like it :)#you know real-life events are stories too. and i feel like this is a story with a good moral: 'be yourself'#this is also one of the prime subjects where i disagree with sapkowski lol#because re: 'death of the author' theory type stuff. authors cannot control how their works are interpreted by their audiences#works get interpreted on their own fortunately or unfortunately#so though i think it would be misled to engage with the witcher as if its ONLY good quality is its 'polishness'#i think that also it should be acknowledged how its unique take on culture made it appealing to both domestic and foreign audiences#i think where the problem lies is when we believe it can't be both polish and a blend of multiple cultures and traditions#because like yeah. author is an arthurian weeb
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Ok game time which 3 series would you just DIE to get a run on ? I'm talking full creative control, can be as a writer or an artist + plotter if that suits your vibe best
My 3 are
Suicide Squad
Wonder Woman
Green Lantern Corps/Green Lanterns
(in that order)
#last one may wiggle around but i think thats mostly it. others i would want to do but if were talking full runs then this would be my picks#there are other things id ofc want to do though. a wonder girl (cassie) mini in addition to the ww run probably some superman stuff too#although idk him as well i do love him. maybe a mini there or even a prestige format book if i go crazy#would love to do a quick something with cass cain too ofc (me and the rest of this site lol). could probably figure out a plot to smth#longer if i thought abt it but would love to guest write a standalone issue or two for an ongoing of hers#what else would i want to do.... the sui sq and wondy are rlly the big ones bc ive thought abt that the most. glc ive thought about too but#to a bit less of an extent. ooh there was that bleez mini i plotted out during lunch once last year. think i had some sketches laying around#for that too.#who else would i do.... those are rlly the main ones atm. books i would write vs books i would read are definitely different though. there#are some pitches i would throw out but wouldnt know how to write at all i just know it could be done good somehow. like ik nothing abt#aquaman but i think its possible a wonder woman/aquaman story could slap#OR NO A WONDER WOMAN & SUPERMAN ONE I WAS JUST TALKING ABT THAT. dont call it that though ofc they should get a duo name in the same vein as#world's finest. and ofc 72848274 issues of bro time. anyways <33333333#also a not abt the rankings sui sq is higher than wondy which may seem crazy from a wondy blogger but 1. i do love them and 2. they need me#so much more. this subject is such an egofest for me bc ofc i think i could do everything perfect but like they need a good run soooooo bad#whereas id LOVE to do wondy but ik they would survive without me. anyways yeah <3#anyways on a totally unrelated not at all adjacent topic.... my askbox is always open btw 😘#also idk if my green lantern corps book would be called glc. may just hit the green lanterns vol. 2 bc who is stopping me really
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i very rarely get a sense of satisfaction from completing tasks. ive heard people say this is an ADHD thing, but idk. personally i think i might just be bad at being alive
#anime life#i wish i could do something for myself but it just feels so hollow. like why fucking bother yknow?#i wrote a lot of my fic Book of Red Murder and then started to lose steam#and i thought maybe posting it would encourage me to finish it#and it did at first#but then there wasn't a lot of readership or energy around it#which like. is fine and not weird. it's not a big deal and it's not like it's something im OWED#and also i had. a bit of a mental breakdown and had to stop being active in the fandom#so now DEFINITELY no one's gonna read it lol#idk i feel bad even posting about it because i don't want anyone to feel bad or like im trying to guilt anyone about it#i just have trouble articulating what i feel and why and it helps me to try to reason it out#no one did anything wrong but i think it's still understandable for me to say that i was discouraged#when it felt like people didn't really like my writing. or. to be honest. me as a person#i guess the lesson here (if there is one at all) is that if you like a fic you should probably tell the person writing it
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Saint of Bright Doors
a surreal Sri Lankan fantasy about colonialism, revolution, mixing fantasy with the modern world
follows a man raised by his mother to kill his father, a god-like cult leader
but as an adult he puts aside his life of violence and moves to the city for a quiet life
he becomes fascinated with ‘bright doors’ around the city that never open and have no other side, and joins a group studying them to find out more
and a support group for those with divine heritage that becomes increasingly revolutionary, until the task he was made for reemerges and his life upends
#the Saint of Bright Doors#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#this is kind of hard to explain I dont know if I did a very good job here lol#it is weird and full of so many interesting elements. I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about it but?? I really liked it mostly???#It starts pretty small scale focused on the MC & slowly unravels the wider worldbuilding and narrative elements in a really interesting way#The first chapter or two I assumed it was typical high fantasy but then it’s like. oh this is a modern city. with emails and stuff.#The pacing is a bit weird - it’s quite meandering and also pivots significantly in the second half. tbh I’m still ????? about the ending lm#but also I am happy to float through on vibes.#and there’s some elements (like the doors that become….not that relevant) that I want to know more about. (as an aside - I saw someone say#that it’s a very clear retelling about Buddha’s son? which idk enough about but probably could give a deeper context to a lot of it)#writing style is kinda detached from the MC but also there is a reason for this that makes sense with the twist near the end!#which is a kind of twist i LOVE. Maybe I wish it had been emphasised a bit more over the story though? unsure.#I thought his mother's story was interesting also - you think she's an terrible parent just there for background context at the start but#then when she tells her story it's like ohh there's more context here.#also I hesitate to just say ‘if you like the spear cuts-- you should read this’ because I think the elements that are similar are done in a#kinda different way and might disappoint you if you’re expecting it to be the same as spear….but regardless the sort of dreamy writing#rich world; narrative with fantasy but also modern day elements; some of the writing style; mlm MC (tho not a romance)#idk. it will definitely not work for everyone but I enjoyed it overall#also it is full of queerness#bisexual books
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theres a chance a huge amount of stress will leave my body tomorrow
#if i 1. talk to my group and convince them to cut our interview plan in half due to time restraints#2. finish the first full draft of the thesis#im not sure if that’s going to be it bc there’s a chance i’ll have to write a methodology chapter#but that’s fine ig#like if by the time i have to do it i’ll have all the regular assignments sent out#then it should take me one afternoon which isn’t too bad#oh and the wretched email. ughhhhhhhhh#i cried really hard for like 40 minutes today#i was meant to finish this weekend but ofc i didn’t#but tomorrow. i will finish this finally#and maybe i’ll feel even kind of alive for the first time since february#📓#fingers crossed lol#i feel so behinddddd on everythinggggggg#and i need to ask my mom to give me money back and maybe order yarn later this week#and maybe finish the lacan book and this other short thing#and take them back to the library#and then when i have everything finished i’ll catch up on the crotchet blanket and read the novels ive been putting off bc of stress#and there should be adam i ewa on stream too……#and i’ll rewatch the lethal company vods too bc i just remembered how funny they are#god february was such a time
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BOOK REVIEW 📖
Last year I kept track of the series & films I watched; this year I've decided to keep track of whatever books I read! So this one is for the month of January – I'll share these sometime after the month is over, or if I read more than one book during the month, I will do their reviews as soon as I finish the book :)
#ben picks up reading again#dania rambles about shit#should note that this is not spoiler free (don't give much context but still)#i would read it again just to catch all the parallels and symbolism#chose to read this on libby bc of the option to highlight and keep notes in one spot bc jfc I would've annotated tf out of a physical copy#doing this completely from my phone and made my own little template because I couldn't find any good ones for free#what else ummmm oh right this is like a basic answer/question and I ramble off topic but still within some type of margin#read that fanfic I recommend really since I feel like it's better written aka maybe I just like it more bc it has a happy ending#and it includes all the same problems that the characters of the original book went through (for the most part)#anyway 4/5 stars and not 5 bc like I got tired of clare's pov bc it felt like there was no different between#the varying ages we get once we reach her at like 12 and up#henry also affected this bc like he's likable but so stupid and shouldve studied paradoxes or something to solve his problems#again rambling it needs a fix it but blah blah not really their suffering is a main point of the book :)#yeah so structured like a traditional one but I focus on not so traditional aspects bc I have a way of analyzing things#as if I have an essay to write on it lmaooooo#these are handwritten bc I like to keep track in case it worsens due to my cubital tunnel affected wrist#(im a righty; lefty on the other hand has carpal tunnel but that only affects when I do hand on projects like pottery or painting)#I'm giving free trivia/lore about myself here lol
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ugggghhh ok so I’m reading some books to prep for my student teaching in the fall, the ones that my host teacher knows are likely to be in the curriculum, and first of all why is it a thing that high schoolers are made to read Contemporary Lit Fic that can be summed up as “how many gory explicit descriptions of traumatic abuse can we fit into one book”, like every year it’s just One Standard Shakespeare Play, One Twentieth-Century American Classic, throw in some other shit, and Somebody’s Fucked-Up Memoir From A Decade Or So Ago. Are there any contemporary books that are good but NOT traumatizing? If not, I’m happy to stick to classic lit personally
ANYWAY so I’m reading this book to prep for the fall and I ended up skimming the whole latter 3/4 or so of the book to spoil it for myself so the suspense wouldn’t kill me, and now I’m up late despite being super tired because my brain is just cycling through every horrific thing in the book, plus the reviews I read online, some of which are insanely saying shit like “wah wah, get over it, stop whining, we all had rough times in our childhood” and I’m like... Am I the softest, most naive baby on the planet for reacting to this horrific memoir by feeling bad for the author and thinking that maybe we don’t need to be making high schoolers read this? I’m not saying it’s not well-written- it is well-written, and well-structured, but Jesus Christ.
(also why are we allowed to make students read horrifying memoirs of abuse but god forbid they know that slavery happened in this country, but that’s a different issue altogether)
so yeah I now have managed to make my entire evening about Trying And Failing To Get Some Images Out of My Head, which sucks because I had a LOVELY day and was looking forward to some well-earned sleep, and also I’m gonna have to go back and read the entire book so that I’m able to teach it properly and know all the literary devices in it and shit. Cool cool cool
#this is the same classroom where i did my student observing and their 'holocaust book' was this book called sarah's key#which is also unnecessarily traumatizing but doesn't even have the decency to be written well#and i asked my host teacher like 'hey. do we provide any like... emotional support to the students when they read That Scene'#and she was like 'yeah i have them write a response paper about their emotions reading the scene'#and idk i'm not 100% sure that's enough?#i know high schoolers put on a big song and dance about how edgy they are and how they can handle seeing any fucked-up shit#and some of them really do unfortunately have to live with fucked-up shit for real#but like. they're still humans? who are growing and developing? let's maybe give them breathing room with these things?#i love my host teacher she's great but i'm not confident she's gonna provide a lot of emotional support re: this memoir to the students#she's also way tougher and more resilient than i am. and so are most of the students tbh. i'm a tiny baby kitten and i know this#still i feel like we should probably allow some room for acknowledging Yeah That Was Fucked Up Huh#It's Normal To Feel Sad Now Actually#ANY THE FUCKING WAY. wish i'd gone to sleep early like i planned#at least it's the weekend tomorrow and all i have to do is go prove i don't have tuberculosis. again!!!!#(not that i had tuberculosis before. i just got tested before but it was over 6 months ago so not good enough)#that's also for student teaching!#i feel like my personal posts on this blog are just a psa on why not to become a teacher#i swear i love teaching lol but i love kvetching more#written by me
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...wow, i’m really about to give myself an Existential Crisis about my Existential Crisis book, huh??
#text#personal#in btw#driscoll#writing#whine whine whine#(to be safe)#(it's not really that much whining tbh)#i just. made the fatal error of leaning back from my keyboard wondering How Did I Decide To Do This Words Thing and Why#like what the fuck am i doing lol#it's a sunday night why did i think Yes I Should Work On Book Revisions#(why revise anything in general?? to maybe get them published someday.)#(but like. why do i want that so badly. when did that start. WHAT AM I DOING.)#(....the silent question there is also Do I Still Actually Want That So Badly)#(i think i do i think i'm just. Tired™)#like everything about this process is fucking weird. giving people shit that's neither Done nor entirely Just For Fun is fucking weird.#HAVING A CRISIS ABOUT THE NATURE OF FICTION WRITING AND WRITTEN STORYTELLING HEEEELP#i was going to chip at this until 11. but. that was before i spent five (5) minutes having a ~Crisis~ in the tags of a tumblr post#(a post destined for the Void probably)#(cries)#...i guess i'm gonna go type a little bit more of this shit so i have a clean copy done by tuesday so i can go work at a bar lol#ALSO ALSO: FUCKING HATE THAT MY ROOM IS VERY SMALL#specifically because it means small bedroom/writing room has All My Shit In It#which means shit gets in the way of the desk#there's a tolerable level of working clutter and it does NOT include laundry#but. since it's all in the Same Room#the writing zone gets unbearable too fast. because life clutter happens and i can't keep it out of the way#(there's nowhere to Keep It Out Of The Way)#maybe more space would fix me and fix the Existential Crisis#or at least give me the clarity of mind to deal with it
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chao planoy's writing makes me want to pull out freud /positive
#i love psychoanalysis ❤️#maybe i'll write a paper for fun analysizing all of the mother/lover stuff in her books lol#there's already so much there in just a couple of books 😭#i wonder if she's ever read carmilla...#that subtext is kind of there but very subtle and few of the adaptations of the work really emphasize that at all#she should do a carmilla adaptation#i would pay her to do it
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Once again wishing I liked the books more.
#maybe I should try rereading them?#idk. like...the character work is good. and I think there IS some stuff that hits harder because we get the characters' internal monologues#but the WAY this man writes. like with words.........not for me. like REALLY not for me.#the use of language and background lore does NOT make my brain happy and it made reading these a miserable experience#like I GET why people like them. they just do not mesh well with me unfortunately 😭#so when people say 'he's gonna do xyz better in the books' my knee-jerk reaction is always ' but IS he?'#also I'm...not sure he won't make [redacted] end up together which is a relatively petty complaint but I DO think it would be antithetical#to both characters. and I genuinely doubt he can sell me on [redacted] if the show didn't#and this isn't to say the show is without flaws but it DOES get lonely trying to generally defend the character arcs#there's basically no fandom anymore and people are pivoting to the books to 'save' the show's flaws and I just simply do not have faith that#they will do that#and this probably doesn't mean much coming from a season 8 apologist lol. like that really is the point where most people#stop putting any stock in what I have to say. but alas this is my blog and I am honor-bound to put all of my rambling thoughts on here.
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Would you be willing write a Remus fic about that super blue moon that is supposed to be happening?? like maybe it’s so so bad for him and he takes it all out on reader and she’s really sensitive and you can go from there lol
that’d be great love but it’s okay if not, thanks!! <3
thanks for the request! decided to make this with our Black!sister reader since we've been having fun with her <3
Remus Lupin x Black!reader who he takes out his Super Blue Moon frustrations on [1.6k words]
CW: Remus was being mean/rude to reader but we don't really see the angst... just the consequences of the angst, hurt/comfort, big brother Sirius having absolutely NONE of the nonsense!
“Hey moons, have you seen my sister around lately?” Sirius asked nonchalantly as he entered their shared dorm room; noticing immediately the tension in Remus’ shoulders as he positioned his body away from the door.
“How should I know?” Remus muttered darkly. “I’m not her keeper.”
And though Sirius had tried to be cool when he first realised his baby sister and best friend had less than platonic feelings for each other and vowed to stay out of their relationship, there were unfortunately some things that Sirius couldn’t let slide.
“Did she eat all of your chocolate?” He asked calmly, causing Remus to roll his shoulders in an attempt to pacify himself.
“No?”
“M’kay.” Sirius agreed as he put his school books in his trunk. “Did she throw your books into the Black lake?”
“Sirius.” Remus hissed warningly.
“Did she tell Snape to sneak out after curfew to the Whomping Willow one night so that he would come face to face with Moony, only for James to have to fight you off of him as Snape ran for his life? Oh, wait, that was me.”
“Fuck off, Sirius.”
“No thanks.” Sirius huffed as he closed his trunk with a thud. “Well, if she hasn’t done any of those things, why are you treating her like such an arse?”
“I’m not treating her like anything, Pads. Stay out of it.” Remus nearly growled as he stood abruptly from his desk and moved towards his bed.
“Shan’t.” Sirius refused, following his friend across the room. “You chose to date my sister, you have to deal with the consequences.”
“Great bloody choice I made.” Remus muttered petulantly, yelping when a book hit him in the head.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” He hissed as he looked at Sirius who was staring him down defiantly.
“If you know what’s good for you, Rem, you will never speak about my sister like that again, got it?”
Remus seemed to relent as he laid back on his bed and pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to bring his boiling anger down to a simmer.
“I’m the first to admit that Black’s are not often a good bunch, but if a Black could be perfect, she’s about as close as they would come. And I don’t like seeing her this terrified.”
Remus sat up at that, narrowing his eyes at his friend in confusion. “She’s not terrified of me.”
Sirius shrugged in disagreement. “She tenses every time you walk into the Great Hall and can’t seem to make eye contact with you, which usually only happens after a crucio or two from mummy dearest.”
Sirius watched the fight leave Remus almost immediately as he looked down at his lap in shame. “She’s…sensitive, Rem. We all are, we-” Sirius cut himself off as he stared unseeingly at the stone wall behind his mates head. “We can’t handle these kinds of moods as well as some other people can; tension and anger always led to pain and punishment growing up.”
“It’s not her, Pads.” Remus whispered.
“I know it’s not. Somewhere deep down she might know that too but…”
“I know.” Remus offered, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. “It’s this…this fucking moon, I- it’s driving me barmy.”
“I understand that, but you can’t take it out on her; it’s not her fault.” Sirius offered gently before retreating from the dorm to allow his friend to digest what he said; he may not like the fact that his best friend and sister found their way to each other, but he also knew that both of you deserved to be happy. If he could help you both achieve that by being supportive, well, supportive he would be.
。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。.。:+*゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+*゚
Remus felt shame course through his body as he walked through the library in search of you.
Between his senses being heightened this close to the moon, the additional magic at play with the super blue moon, and the fact that he knew you were a creature of habit and had a table you often frequented, it didn’t take him long to find you.
“Mind if I join you?” He asked quietly, feeling his heart crack painfully when you did, indeed, flinch at the sound of his voice and sat impossibly straighter in your chair.
“Okay.” You whispered in response, not looking away from your book as he moved to sit across the table from you, though he could tell you were no longer reading as your eyes remained glued to one spot.
“I’m sorry that I’ve been such an arse, Dove.”
“It’s okay.” You said quickly, still not looking at him.
“No it’s not.” He argued softly.
He watched your jaw tighten as you repositioned yourself in your chair in obvious discomfort.
“It’s this moon.” You explained breezily.
“Which isn’t your fault, and I shouldn’t be taking it out on you- dove, can you look at me? Please?”
He watched your throat constrict as you stole yourself and brought your eyes up to his. They were glossy, but not like you were about to cry - glossy like you were hiding, like you were occluding.
He hated it; hated that you were hiding from him, hated that you felt like you had to hide from him, hated that he made you feel like you had to hide from him, hated that you even knew how to hide inside your own mind at all.
“Dovey, look at me.” He repeated gently in hopes that you’d let the walls down, daring to reach a hand across the table in invitation.
He watched as your eyes flit to his hand and back up again and he tried to keep his face neutral; no pressure or force as he let you decide if you were willing to trust him.
You placed your hand in his, but kept your gaze pointed at your joined hands.
“I know better than to let my moods affect you, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” He pressed sincerely.
You scoffed and moved your gaze to one of the rafters above you. “I’m not some delicate flower you need to tiptoe around, Remus; I can handle a bad mood.” You shot back defensively.
“I know…” He whispered as he rubbed circles on the back of your hand with his thumb.
He knew you weren’t a delicate flower; on the contrary, you were one of the strongest people he’d ever met.
You gave the entire Hufflepuff house a run for their money on who was the most loyal wix in the castle. You always looked out for your brothers, constantly playing referee, devils advocate, and a surrogate parent for the two young Black boys. You grew up making sure Sirius never acted too outlandishly or brought too much trouble onto himself, making sure Regulus wasn’t completely beaten down into nothing and grew up to be a semi-decent boy, and taking the blame when you were unable to do either of those things.
And to top it all off, you put up with him; a foul-mouthed, poor, Welsh, anger-issue riddled boy who didn’t deserve you.
“Baby, look at me, please.” He begged, reaching forward with his other hand so he was holding your one in between both of his.
You turned your gaze to him and it seemed to be taking everything in your power to hold his gaze.
“I’m so sorry, my love.” He whispered, bringing your hand to his lips to press a kiss to your fingers.
Your eyes tracked the movement before flitting back up to his.
You offered him a curt nod and chewed on your bottom lip. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” You whispered, eyes turning glossy for a whole new reason.
Remus made a pitiful sound from the back of his throat and stood to move to the chair beside you, never relinquishing his grasp on your hand.
“You didn’t upset me, dove, I was just upset. And an arse; don’t forget the part about me being an arse.”
You offered him a wet chuckle at that as you sniffed, returning his hold of your hand and giving it a squeeze.
“I hate not being able to…help, to take any of the burden off of you, to make it at all less painful for you.”
“You do, sweetheart, you do. By being here, and being with me, and being patient even when I’m an arse, okay?” He insisted, punctuating each reason he was grateful for you with a squeeze of your hand. “I don’t deserve it but I’m so lucky to have you.”
“You do deserve it.” You murmured, bringing your eyes back up to his.
And he couldn’t help himself, really; he had always been powerless against the pull you had on him and this time was no different as he closed the distance between the two of you to press a lingering kiss to your lips.
“The point of all this,” Remus said as he broke away from you and bumped your nose with his, “is that you didn’t deserve to be treated the way that I treated you this week, and I won’t let it happen again, okay?”
You gave him a sad smile and gave his nose a bump in return.
“How mad was Sirius?”
“Fuming.” Remus admitted immediately.
“Did he throw a pillow at you?”
“A book.” He corrected solemnly, earning him an astonished look from you.
“Oh…you crossed a line.”
Remus nodded abashedly. “Honestly? I think it might be harder to get him to forgive me than it was to get you to forgive me.”
Remus relished in the surprised laugh that bubbled out of you at that, and he vowed to never ever let another moon cause him to go this long without hearing it again.
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#marauders#the marauders#Black!sister#the black family#the maruaders#marauder era#black family reader#remus lupin fic#remus lupin hurt/comfort#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin blurb#Remus Lupin ficlet#ellecdc fics#big brother sirius
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You Should Have Run Away
✰ summary: once upon a time, in the bustling streets of shibuya, there lived a beautiful mafia princess who had angered her brother greatly. no matter what she did, she couldn’t shake off her brother’s overprotective grip. frustrated and seeking revenge, the princess decided to venture into the forbidden territory of shinjuku. when the princess stepped into the lair of the evil king, it was impossible for her not to catch his attention. to her, using her brother’s greatest enemy as a tool for revenge seemed like a brilliant idea. but once the beast wanted something, it became his. in the end, the beast would make sure the princess paid the price for daring to enter forbidden territory.
✰ pairing: rival mafia boss!sukuna x mafia princess fem!reader
✰ warnings: +18 Minors Do Not Interact +18 mafia au, mentioning of beating, mentioning of sex, gojo as a protective brother, use of mature language, use of alcohol, eventual smut, neck kissing and sucking, sukuna calls reader “miss gojo” and “brat”, oral sex (reader receiving), fingering, sukuna has a definitely heels fetish, little teasing, big dick alert!!!!!, unprotected sex, possesive behaviours, creampie, sukuna hates gojo lol
✰ word count: 5.4k
✰ a little note: while i’ve started reading mafia romance books again, it wouldn’t feel right not to write something like this. enjoy!
“This was your last chance, and you used it, princess,” your brother yelled at you furiously.
“Fuck off, Toru! Just because I slept with someone doesn’t mean you can beat him half to death and then force him to grovel at my feet to apologize,” you snapped back, your tone far angrier than his.
Your brother’s increasingly overprotective behavior was becoming unbearable. Fine, maybe he was about to take over an important clan, and sure, given the dirty work he handled, he knew how manipulative and dangerous people could be.
Satoru Gojo wasn’t a bad person—at least not when it came to his family. But if someone disrespected the clan? No one wanted to see his bad side. And if they wanted something even worse than that, all they had to do was mess with you.
“Go to your room, princess. I don’t even want to see you step outside for the next two weeks. If you need something, tell Yuji to get it for you. But you’re not setting foot out of this house. Understood?”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“Don’t test me, princess. You know the rules—anyone who dares to touch you faces a fate worse than death.” His eyes were bloodshot. He must not have slept all night, and finding out about your little escapade had probably wiped any chance of sleep from his mind.
Screw this. Enough was enough. You were perfectly capable of seeing whoever you wanted. If someone tried to use you, you’d know. After all, the whole “Six Eyes” thing, which basically meant knowing and seeing everything, wasn’t exclusive to your brother. But still, the bastard refused to believe you could protect yourself.
“How long are you planning to keep protecting me, Gojo Satoru? Until I’m dead? I’ll be with whoever I want—” Your words cut off as your brother shot you a deadly glare. You usually chose to fight back in situations like this, but Satoru, with his anger and lack of sleep, might very well set the house on fire.
“Go to your room. Now.” He didn’t shout, but the tone of his voice made it clear you shouldn’t push him any further.
“Fuck you, Gojo Satoru.” With that, you turned toward the stairs and headed to your room.
Slamming the door shut behind you, you began pacing back and forth, your anger boiling over. Did he really think you wouldn’t leave the house? You weren’t his precious little princess. And he wasn’t even officially the head of the clan yet. Sure, he ran most of the operations since your father had grown old, but the final word still belonged to your father.
Your pacing came to a halt when your phone buzzed with incoming messages.
𓉘22:32𓉝 Nobara: holy shit i just saw your message so your brother found out huh?
𓉘22:32𓉝 Nobara: honestly the only thing i can say about that guy is that satoru gojo’s gonna kill him
𓉘22:33𓉝 Nobara: if not he’ll probably do something worse
Nobara was right. Unfortunately, your brother had already made the guy wish he were dead.
𓉘22:33𓉝 You: i wish he’d just killed him
𓉘22:33𓉝 You: oh and guess what? i’m grounded for two weeks can’t leave the house
𓉘22:33𓉝 Nobara: if I know you there’s no way you’re staying put
𓉘22:33𓉝 Nobara: wanna do something fun?
You? Of course, you wanted to. Especially right now.
𓉘22:34𓉝 You: what's on your mind?
𓉘22:34𓉝 Nobara: there’s a party in shinjuku
𓉘22:34𓉝 Nobara: you know where
Shit. Unfortunately you knew. Everyone knew about Malevolent Shrine. And everyone knew what went down at the parties there. That club was pure chaos—exclusive and dripping with danger. Just like its owner.
Shinjuku was off-limits for you. Actually, it was off-limits for anyone from your clan. That wasn’t your territory. Worse, the owner, Ryomen Sukuna, was your family’s sworn enemy. His empire ruled Shinjuku, and he was the Evil King.
Sukuna was the kind of man no one should mess with. Especially not you.
You could never go there. For one, you’d die—not by your brother’s hands but Sukuna’s. The moment you stepped foot in Shinjuku, his men would put a bullet in your head. And if you somehow made it to the club, the security would handle the rest.
𓉘22:35𓉝 You: you know i can’t go there
𓉘22:35𓉝 Nobara: chicken
𓉘22:35𓉝 Nobara: name a better way to get back at your brother?
𓉘22:36𓉝 You: girl are you insane? the second i step foot there i’m dead meat
𓉘22:36𓉝 Nobara: chicken
𓉘22:36𓉝 You: stop calling me that
𓉘22:36𓉝 Nobara: i’m not stopping until you say yes
𓉘22:36𓉝 Nobara: chicken chicken chicken
This girl was crazy. Watching the string of “chicken” messages fill your screen, you considered her plan. You were furious with your brother. You didn’t want him to protect you forever. You were a grown woman who had every right to be with whoever you wanted. No one could dare talk about a woman’s “honor” like it was their business.
You were so sick of men.
The messages on your screen had already hit 20. Were you really going to stay home like a scared little chicken? Or were you going to be the mafia princess who didn’t care about the danger?
Screw it. There wasn’t a single drop of cowardice in Gojo blood.
𓉘22:38𓉝 Nobara: chicken
𓉘22:38𓉝 Nobara: fuck my fingers are cramping but i'm not stopping
𓉘22:38𓉝 Nobara: chicken
𓉘22:38𓉝 You: i’ll be at your place in thirty
𓉘22:39𓉝 You: my brother’s probably too busy at our club blowing off steam and fucking someone to notice
𓉘22:39𓉝 You: also yuuji owes me a favor
𓉘22:39𓉝 You: but yuuji can’t drive us there you know they’d recognize the car
𓉘22:39𓉝 Nobara: i knew you weren’t a chicken 😘
𓉘22:39𓉝 Nobara: wear that gold dress
𓉘22:39𓉝 Nobara: we’re stealing all the attention tonight 💃
Shutting off your phone, you walked to your closet and pulled out the gold mini-dress you’d just bought from Rabanne. As you held it up, a sly smile spread across your face.
There was no way you wouldn’t get noticed in this.
“I hate you, you know that, right?” Yuuji said, glancing at you through the rearview mirror as he drove.
“You owed me.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t, but this wasn’t what I had in mind.” In a high-pitched, comical voice, he added, “I didn’t know my debt was death!”
When you hurriedly got ready and came downstairs, as expected, your brother wasn’t home. Yuuji was sitting on the couch, playing on his phone. When he heard the sound of your heels clicking, he turned his head toward you, and the look on his face wasn’t a good sign. The sight of you in 10 cm heels and a sparkling gold dress could only mean trouble.
As you checked your lipstick in a small mirror, you said, “Don’t worry. My brother will drink himself into oblivion and fuck someone senseless tonight. It’s the perfect time to teach him a lesson.”
“Even if you threatened to tattle to Papa Gojo, I still shouldn’t be doing this. But damn it, your dad is even scarier.”
Your brother could definitely be terrifying, but the person who made him that way was your father. If what you wanted wasn’t done, your father wouldn’t hesitate to put bullets through anyone.
Of course, if your father knew you were heading to enemy territory in Shinjuku right now, things would turn out very differently.
Ten minutes later, when Yuuji stopped in front of Nobara’s house, you planted a quick kiss on his cheek. “Nobara said she called an Uber. That must be the car in front. Thanks for the ride.”
Just as you were about to step out, Yuuji grabbed your arm. When you turned to look at him, you saw the worry etched on his face. “This clears my debt. If anyone asks you, I didn’t bring you here, okay? Also…” He took a deep breath. “If anything happens, you call me. Immediately.”
“You’ve got it.” You smiled to ease his concern and stepped out of the car. As soon as you approached the idling car with its lights on, you peered through the window to see Nobara. The moment you spotted her, you opened the door and got in.
“God, it’s freezing out there.”
“Hey, gorgeous. Holy shit, that dress is incredible.” Nobara whistled, giving you an approving once-over.
“We have to make this night worth it, don’t we?” you said, a sly grin spreading across your face. Both of you laughed, and during the drive to the club, you recounted every infuriating thing your brother had done lately.
When the Uber driver announced you’d arrived, you looked at the black building bathed in red lights. If you were to paint a picture of hell, this would probably be it.
You were officially in forbidden territory. Maybe threatening Yuuji by dangling your father over his head hadn’t been the best idea. Going back home and curling up in your warm bed suddenly seemed a lot more appealing. But Gojo Satoru had asked for this, and as his little sister, you were going to push it further.
The guards at the entrance immediately shot you suspicious looks, their brows furrowed as if asking, What the hell are you doing here? It must have surprised them to see anyone from the Gojo clan walk into this place so boldly.
“Good evening, gentlemen. I hope there’s room for two lovely ladies tonight?” With a sweet tone and an even sweeter smile, you asked the towering guards as if everything was perfectly normal.
“Go home,” one of the guards said, his stern expression unchanging.
“But who stays home on a Friday night, right, Nobara?” Your friend chuckled in agreement.
“If you don’t want the boss to blow your head off, go back where you came from.” The guard’s tone suggested he knew exactly how this would end.
You weren’t leaving. Whatever lie you had to tell to get inside, you’d say it.
“I hate to break it to you, buddy, but your famous boss invited us here tonight.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” The guard on the left stepped toward you angrily, but the other stopped him with an arm and turned to you. “The boss invited you?”
“Yep. Apparently, there’s at least one Gojo he doesn’t hate.” You had no idea what you were saying, but you rolled with it.
The guard stared at you and Nobara for a moment before finally stepping aside. “Tell the bartender inside you’re special guests. They’ll direct you where to go. Enjoy your evening, Miss Gojo.”
Well, that lie had actually worked.
“Thank you, sir.” Hooking your arm through Nobara’s, you hurried inside. The moment you stepped into the club, you realized it was even more hellish than it looked from the outside.
First, it was boiling hot—a relief, given how freezing it had been outside. Second, the place was all black and red. No matter where you looked, there wasn’t a hint of any other color. When you told the bartender what the guard had said, they led you to a quiet lounge upstairs. While the club itself was luxurious, this space was something else entirely. There weren’t many people—just a few men you assumed were businessmen, an actor you’d seen in an action movie, and two women hanging off his arms.
As you sank into the plush leather seats, Nobara turned to you. “I think this place lives up to the hype.”
Leaning back, you replied, “Seems like it. So, where are these infamous sex parties?”
Nobara laughed. “Probably in some hidden area. You know, like in the movies where you go through a secret passage.”
That was likely true. Based on what you’d heard about Sukuna, the man probably designed this place like a maze.
When the waiter arrived with a bottle of champagne and two glasses, he said, “A gift from the boss, Miss Gojo.”
Sukuna knew. Not that you hadn’t expected this. The guards must have informed him the second you walked in. Honestly, you’d assumed they’d tell him when you’d first started lying.
“Please send our thanks to the boss,” you said with a bright smile, taking the glasses the waiter had filled. You handed one to Nobara, and the two of you clinked your glasses before sipping the expensive, delicious champagne.
“Why don’t we finish this and hit the dance floor?” you suggested, the mix of alcohol, music, and the lingering fear of Sukuna making your adrenaline spike.
Nobara grinned, clinking her glass against yours again before downing the rest of her champagne. Then she poured herself another glass.
If you had to guess, the two of you would finish the entire bottle within fifteen minutes.
I guess you were wrong with your predictions because you and Nobara finished that bottle in just ten minutes. You had no idea how you managed it so fast, but you drank it like it was water while talking. Anytime you were with Nobara, there wasn’t a single moment that wasn’t fun. She was one of those people who made time fly without you realizing it.
With the rhythm of the song pulsing through you, you ground your hips against the man behind you, feeling the hardness growing against your back. You weren’t drunk—sure, you’d downed that massive bottle in ten minutes, but it was just champagne. You’d had far heavier nights, and your tolerance was nothing to scoff at.
“You know how to dance,” the man murmured, his lips brushing against your earlobe.
“It’s what I’m best at,” you replied, your tone just as flirtatious.
“I’m sure there’s something you’re even better at,” he whispered, and his hands slowly slid lower, brushing against your hips. You smiled, even though he couldn’t see it.
“Maybe,” you teased.
The truth was, you had no intention of sleeping with this guy. Sure, it would’ve been a great way to stir up even more trouble, but your focus wasn’t on him. It was on the crimson-eyed devil who hadn’t taken his eyes off you from the upper floor.
From the moment you stepped onto the dance floor with Nobara, you felt someone watching you. A few minutes later, when your gaze drifted upward, it wasn’t hard to figure out who it was. Sukuna, leaning casually against the railing with a glass of whiskey in hand, was watching your every move.
Every sway of your hips, every time you brushed your damp hair back, every teasing grind against the men who approached you—he didn’t miss a single second of it.
You wanted to create a scene, but only for him.
There was no denying his handsomeness. Even though you’d never seen him in person before tonight, it was clear he was mesmerizing, even from a distance. As you danced, you realized why your brother had kept you far away from him all these years. If you had ever seen this man before, you, like everyone else, would’ve wanted him to ruin you. Even knowing the danger he posed.
He might just be the only bad boy you’d ever want to destroy you. But calling Sukuna a “boy” was an insult. Ryomen Sukuna was a “man” in every sense of the word.
When your partner’s hands drifted lower, you pressed them down, urging him to squeeze your hips. He didn’t hesitate, gripping you firmly. His lips found your neck, and he sucked hard, marking you. You tilted your head back, letting out a soft moan, all while keeping your gaze locked on Sukuna.
You weren’t sure what you wanted him to see. Maybe it was something like, “Look at me, I’m here, the one person who absolutely shouldn’t be in your territory. And I’m letting someone else touch me in your club,” as if you wanted to make yourself stand out.
It was a childish move. Trying to make someone like Sukuna jealous was a fool’s errand.
But those crimson eyes followed your every motion. You were certain. Even as he took a sip from his glass, he raised it slightly in your direction, as if to say, Enjoy yourself.
You laughed, throwing your head back.
“Like what you see, baby? I can give you more if you want,” the man murmured against your neck.
You barely heard him. Sukuna had disappeared into a black-tinted, private room upstairs, and your focus was entirely on him.
You pushed the man’s hands away and stepped back. Without even looking at him, you said, “See you around,” and made your way toward the room Sukuna had entered.
When you reached the third floor, two guards stood in front of the door. You expected them to stop you, but instead, they said, “Welcome, Miss Gojo,” and stepped aside.
Even in your own territory, you weren’t treated with this level of respect.
Offering a polite “thank you,” you opened the black glass door without hesitation. The room, unsurprisingly, was black. Oddly, there were no hints of red here. Sukuna stood behind his desk, speaking on the phone. Though you couldn’t catch the full conversation, it was something about a delivery. He didn’t turn around, not even to see who had entered.
It was as if he had been expecting you all along.
“Call me when you cross the border tomorrow. If there’s a problem, consider yourself dead, understand?” He ended the call but still didn’t face you. The sound of keys clicking echoed in the room as he typed out a message, his attention still fixed on the screen.
“Well, what a lovely surprise, Miss Gojo.” Finally, he put the phone down and turned to you. His tone was calm, almost warm.
You were still standing by the door, unsure of your next move.
“Looks like the boy on the dance floor didn’t keep you entertained,” he said, clicking his tongue. “Pity. He probably thought he had your full attention, but Little Miss Gojo didn’t care for him at all, did she?”
Finally finding the energy to move, you walked over to the couch in front of his desk. “I don’t like overly grabby men,” you said, sinking into the seat.
“Well, that’s his loss,” Sukuna replied as he sat in his own chair. “I take it the clubs your brother owns don’t amuse you anymore, so you decided to try out Shinjuku’s nightlife instead?”
“Oh, absolutely. Our clubs are, how should I put it… dull. And my brother, as you know, Mr. Sukuna, is a complete buzzkill.”
Sukuna laughed, a genuine, deep laugh. “Gojo Satoru has no idea how to have fun. I’m glad you chose to come here.”
“Thank you. Even as an uninvited guest, you’ve treated my friend and me so well. But seriously, why are your guards so polite? I’ve never been called ‘Miss Gojo’ so many times in my life.” As you crossed one leg over the other, Sukuna’s eyes followed the movement. He watched, unblinking, even after you’d finished.
“My men know how to address people properly, Miss Gojo. And no one would dare speak disrespectfully to you.”
That was… unexpected.
“Why?” you asked, letting your top leg sway slightly as you spoke.
“No one disrespects my special guests, Miss Gojo. If they do, I’ll have to cut their tongues out. And I doubt anyone wants that.”
Ryomen Sukuna would absolutely do it. You were sure of that—and you doubted it would stop at just the tongue.
“You look like a runaway sun,” Sukuna said, leaning back in his chair, eyes never leaving you.
The sudden compliment made you laugh. “Was that supposed to be a compliment?” you managed to say between chuckles.
He smirked. “It was. Being something so hot that it melts everything in its path isn’t easy. Not everyone dares to touch.” Sukuna leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk. “This is where you wanted to be, isn’t it? Rather than getting more riled up by some amateur boy, you came here to play with the greatest danger in the room. You think you can burn me.”
“You said it yourself—I’m the sun. That means I can burn you.”
Sukuna rose from his chair and walked toward you. He leaned over the armrests of your couch, caging you in. You leaned back, but the space between you was negligible.
“Miss Gojo, if there’s anything hotter than the sun, it’s hell. Don’t forget that.”
You didn’t care. You could burn in hell. All you wanted was a touch.
One of Sukuna’s hands trailed up the inside of your thigh, brushing the fabric of your gold dress. “What a beautiful dress. Shame it’s so short—it leaves a lot to the imagination.”
You struggled to keep your thighs from pressing together at his touch. Despite your best efforts, you couldn’t stop the subtle trembling of your legs as his fingers traced slow, deliberate patterns against your skin. The soft yet firm caress made resisting impossible.
“Gojo Satoru did well to keep you away from me. But you’re too much of a brat to listen, aren’t you? That’s why you’re here, in my territory.” His hand stopped moving, and this time he squeezed the inside of your thigh, firm enough to send a jolt through you, but not painful—just enough to make you crave more.
“Yes…” Your voice came out as little more than a moan.
“Know this, Miss Gojo: if I’m entertaining you as my special guest, I’ll expect a favor in return.” His hand kneaded your thigh, coaxing another soft sound from your lips.
“W-what kind of favor?”
“You want me to fuck you, don’t you?”
Yes. Yes, you did. You’d wanted it from the moment your eyes met.
“I-I—”
“You wanted it to be me instead of that boy, didn’t you?” He leaned closer, his face hovering near your neck. He didn’t touch, but his eyes lingered on the mark left by the other man. “Should I track him down and kill him? It’s my job to keep my special guest satisfied.”
“Oh…”
“Use your words, Miss Gojo.” The way he called you Miss Gojo made your head spin.
“Yes. I wanted him to be you, Sukuna. I wanted the Evil King to claim me in his territory.”
Though you couldn’t see his face, you heard the low growl rumble from his chest at your words. Before you could say anything more, he easily lifted you with one arm, carrying you to his desk like you weighed nothing at all.
Before you could brace yourself, Sukuna swept everything off the desk with one hand, the clutter crashing to the floor as he pinned you down. The hard surface met your back, and the look in his eyes told you all you needed to know—he had transformed into a ravenous beast, his gaze hungry, predatory.
Your dress was shoved up almost to your waist, and, unsurprisingly, the panties you’d forgotten to wear were nowhere in sight. Your dripping, needy core was now fully exposed to Sukuna’s greedy attention.
When his gaze dropped to your slick heat, his eyes fluttered shut briefly, as if fighting to maintain control.
“I wish I could see how Gojo Satoru loses his mind when he hears about this,” Sukuna muttered, dragging your body closer to the edge of the desk. He yanked your gold dress the rest of the way up, spreading your legs wide to get a clearer view of the spot he clearly intended to devour.
“Fuck…” he murmured, his left hand gripping the inside of your right thigh while his right hand traced over your wet folds. He moved achingly slow, teasing, as though savoring every drop of slickness that coated his fingers. His touch was deliberate, exploring the sensitive walls of your entrance, his movements maddeningly unhurried.
But as much as the teasing ignited your body, you wanted—no, needed—more.
“Sukuna…” Your voice was barely a whisper, trembling with need.
“What is it? You want more?”
You swallowed hard and nodded, unable to find the strength to speak. His fingers moved with such infuriating precision that you were losing yourself.
“If I give you more, there’s no going back. You won’t be able to escape. Are you sure?”
You should’ve run. You should’ve left and never come back. But here you were, in enemy territory, no longer thinking about revenge on your brother. All you could think about was your own desperate need.
“I don’t want to run,” you managed, biting back a moan.
“Fuck,” Sukuna growled under his breath. Taking your response as permission, he leaned in, his mouth claiming the place that needed him most. His large hands spread your legs even wider, giving him complete access as his tongue began its sinful work.
“Su-Sukuna—ohhh,” you whimpered as his head moved between your thighs. His tongue licked you from your folds to your clit, his pace changing between slow, teasing drags and targeted, rapid flicks. Occasionally, he focused on a single spot, making you cry out, his masculine groans vibrating against you as he continued.
You couldn’t describe it. You weren’t someone who slept with men often, but none of them—not a single one—had ever worshiped you like this. The man who should’ve been the last person to ever touch you was devouring you like you were his last meal.
“The forbidden things are always the most delicious,” Sukuna murmured, pressing a wet kiss to your swollen lips. Just before plunging his tongue inside you, he added, “You taste incredible.”
“Oh, God… Sukuna…” you moaned. His tongue worked inside you with practiced precision, each movement sending fresh waves of slickness to coat him.
“Your walls want to keep my tongue inside. I can feel it,” he growled, his voice low and thick with desire. “Fuck, you’re so tight. How’s my cock supposed to fit in here?” His right hand left a sharp smack on your inner thigh before he returned to licking you, unrelenting.
Then he added his fingers. Without warning, two thick digits plunged inside you, curling as his mouth latched onto your clit. The wet, obscene noises his hand created only added to the intensity.
“You made a big mistake making me kneel for you, little brat.” He sucked your clit into his mouth, drawing a desperate, shaky cry from your lips.
“H-how?” you stammered.
“It means you’re never getting away from me,” he said, his fingers moving faster, hitting the perfect spot inside you. The heat between your legs became unbearable, and you knew you were close.
“You’re so filthy. Look what you’re doing to my fingers,” he teased, driving them deeper. “When I pull them out, I swear they’ll be wrinkled from your juices.” His lips returned to your clit, sucking hard while his fingers pumped relentlessly.
“D-don’t stop… I’m so close—UGH I’M GONNA CUM S-SUKUNA!” The tension in your body coiled tighter, seconds from snapping.
“Fuck no,” he growled, suddenly pulling his fingers and mouth away. Just as your release hovered on the edge, Sukuna stood and unzipped his black slacks, pulling them down along with his boxers.
Your breath caught. There was no way that was real. The massive, throbbing cock he held in his hand couldn’t possibly be human.
“Are you ready for my cock, Miss Gojo?” His voice was a low, primal growl.
You weren’t. Not even close. You had no idea how it would fit.
He brought his cock closer to your entrance, teasing you by sliding the tip along your soaked entrance . He let out a moan as the wet heat of your pussy coated him. You could feel the precum leaking from his tip mixing with your own arousal.
“This—this is torture. Please…” You were barely coherent, but you couldn’t take the teasing anymore. You needed him.
“What? Say what you want, Miss Gojo,” Sukuna taunted, his cock brushing lightly against you.
“I-I want you. I want your cock inside me,” you begged, your words tumbling out in desperation.
Sukuna chuckled darkly. “You can’t even form a proper sentence. All you can think about is my cock, isn’t that right?”
“Y-yes,” you stammered, your voice trembling.
“Then take it,” he growled before slamming into you in one swift motion.
Your entire body arched off the desk as you cried out. He didn’t ease in, didn’t give you time to adjust. He buried himself to the hilt, filling you completely. Wrapping your legs around his waist, your heels dug into his lower back, earning a low groan from him.
“Every time I thrust into you, I want those heels to dig in. Do you understand me?” His voice was a harsh command.
“Y-yes,” you gasped.
“Good. Seems the only time you behave is when someone’s fucking you.” Sukuna began moving, his hips slamming into yours with unrelenting force.
He was too big, stretching you so wide it felt like he was splitting you open. Every thrust pushed you to your limits, his thick cock hitting places you didn’t know existed.
“Do you hear that, Miss Gojo?” He was referring to the sound of his hips slamming against yours, the wet smacks of his length plunging into you. “That’s real music.”
“You’re—you’re insane, Sukuna. F-fuck, right there—” His tip hit the perfect spot inside you, making your toes curl.
“Here?” he taunted. “Take it all, Miss Gojo. Be a good girl and take everything I give you.” Your legs trembled as your heels dug harder into him, pulling him closer, making his thrusts even deeper.
Provoking a beast like Sukuna was a terrible idea. Yes, he was driving you wild with pleasure, but you knew that after tonight, no one else would ever compare. No one would ever fuck you like this, hitting your G-spot with every thrust, coaxing more of your juices out with every motion.
Sukuna Ryomen was about to become your addiction.
“I should kill Gojo Satoru for keeping me from this for so long—fuck—for keeping you from me,” Sukuna growled, his cock continuing to batter your sweet spot. “I fucking hate that man.”
Even fully clothed, beads of sweat ran down from his abs to your thighs, dampening the space between your bodies. His head tipped back, his hands gripping your legs tightly as if he never wanted to let go.
“Know this, Miss G-Gojo,” he growled, his words rough as your silken walls squeezed tighter around his thick, veined cock. “From this moment on, you’re mine—ughhh.”
"Sukuna—just a little more, please—so close—"
"Say you’re mine," he demanded, leaning closer to pound into you harder. Though his hands released your legs, you still clung to him, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him even closer.
His thrusts grew deeper, each movement dragging along every sensitive spot inside you, making you shiver. With his lips brushing your ear, you whispered, your voice trembling with surrender, “I-I’m yours, Sukuna.”
“Fuck, yes! You’re mine. Get that through your head!” he roared into your neck, burying himself deeper.
“SUKUNA, IT’S TOO DEEP—I’M GONNA CUM!” your screams echoed through the room as your legs spasmed, and the sharp heels of your shoes dug further into his flesh.
“Don’t hold back on me, Miss Gojo,” Sukuna growled as he bit your neck, sending you over the edge into a shattering orgasm.
Your juices dripped onto his black wooden table while his hot seed filled you to the brim. The feeling of his warmth pumping inside you only reignited the arousal coursing through your veins.
Still buried deep within you, Sukuna pressed a soft kiss to the bite mark he’d left. As you worried about how you’d hide it from your brother, Sukuna’s words snapped you back to reality “Tell that idiot brother of yours you’re mine now. And if he behaves, I might even let him step foot in my territory.”
Your eyes widened. “W-wait, this wasn’t just a one-time thing?” No matter how much you had told him you belonged to him, you had only said it under the heat of lust. You had never truly considered that Sukuna might actually want to claim you.
Sukuna raised his head from your neck, his hungry, feral gaze pinning you in place as he braced himself above you. “Sunday. My house. I’ll fuck you against every wall until your marks are all over them.”
“Shit,” you muttered under your breath.
You should’ve stayed home today, listened to your brother. Or, when you stepped into this office, you should’ve run as fast as you could. Anything to avoid this.
But the beast had already claimed you.
all rights belong to the @moonlitwitchdaisy do not copy, reproduce, or translate my work.
art by @Crain1Art on X
divider by @bernardsbendystraws
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#sukuna x reader#sukuna smut#sukuna x y/n#sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna smut#sukuna oneshot#jjk oneshot#mafia boss sukuna#jjk sukuna#sukuna fic#sukuna ryoumen x you
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Hiii!! Could you possibly do headcanons of overblot boys + adeuce with a s/o who likes to collect figures or like manga or something along those lines? Also I love your writing you’re awesome sauce. feel free to delete or ignore if you don’t wanna do it!! I understand :3
<3<3 ofc
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ collector! reader
type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, ace, deuce, leona, azul, jamil, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu
looking at... [vaguely gestures to Heartslabyul] all that, I can't imagine Riddle has any grounds to complain about knick-knacks or clutter. he literally lives in a minimalist's worst nightmare. he also gives the impression of a collector of odd trinkets. like stamps or antique tea cups. grandma vibes. probably gets you a nice display cabinet for your things
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Ace is a sixteen year old boy who balls and thinks of himself as a lady's man. and, I mean, he loves you, but you can tell what he's about to say before he even opens his mouth. weeeeeeb... then he saves up all year just to gift you that one ridiculously priced figure for your birthday. like I said, he loves you, he just has a very... defensive temperament
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I feel like Deuce is a really good listener (or, at least, he knows how to be quiet when you're talking, unlike a certain other Heartslabyul first year), even if he doesn't quite get it. besides maybe Jack, he's the most willing to watch your favorite shows with you, read your mangas together, hear about each individual trinket you own... even if he still doesn't understand. it makes you happy <3
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Leona is more of a meh guy. "what do you want, a cookie?" is probably in his top ten favorite expressions. things to say when he doesn't care about something. and. listen. he cares about you, he does, but he's not really the type to pretend. he'll let you talk about your collection, though. as long as you're happy with him, you won't seek out Idia and become completely intolerable (his words, not mine!)
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Azul is having flashbacks to all the junk that Jade and Floyd hoard. but, hey: at least your collection isn't of broken toasters or wild mushrooms. he can respect the pride you take in your hobbies, and the care you... wait, how much does all this cost?
...yeah. okay, he understands. definitely not toasters or mushrooms. your room is practically a museum
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[Jamil voice] "once you're done playing with your toys will you come help me clean up the lounge"
no, he doesn't get it. you haven't said how much all of this costs because you think he might have a heart attack if he saw the numbers, and you keep your belongings tidy enough for him not to stress. so he doesn't complain
(and also because he knows they mean a great deal to you)
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[Vil voice] "once you're done playing with your toys will you clean up the lounge" lol
he's not exactly jumping for joy when you spend all your allowance on plastic merchandise and picture books. I mean, he's already had to lend you his winter coat, and there was that week you had to stay at Pomefiore because the water at Ramshackle was out... but making purchases seems to make you happy, so he begrudgingly accepts it
there are worse hobbies to have, after all. [side-eyeing Rook]
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I don't even want to write Idia's part. I'm afraid he'll materialize in my room and start fangirling over this (rip idia shroud you would have loved x readers)
but seriously, he's been recommending you his favorite mangas and animes and games. he probably buys you authentic figures that are thousands of thaumarks on a whim 'cause you kinda like the character. very sweet. very thoughtful. when should I book your wedding. etc
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
you'd think that Malleus would be astonished? WRONG this guy lives with Lilia "hip with the kids" Vanrouge. who is not only a hoarder, but someone who most certainly has a shelf of manga and figures from his favorite games somewhere in the cavernous hole he calls a room. Malleus has probably gotten him one for his birthday (after the 5 hours it took for him to figure out how to buy things online). so like. it's no big deal to him. if you ever mention wanting new manga or figures or... anything... he will give you twice the amount of thaumarks necessary. he's like that
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#queued#riddle rosehearts x reader#ace trappola x reader#deuce spade x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#jamil viper x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader
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