#maybe i should really just write books lol
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Yan king???👀
I had a little fun with the worldbuilding because it gave me an excuse to use one of my old ideas.
I'll explain it briefly because I didn't do much explaining in the writing: there are five major kingdoms in the nation of Lepidoptra - Rosy Maple, Atlas, Luna, Death's Head, and the one where reader is from: Comet Kingdom. Everyone has wings that resemble a moth, along with antennae. (yes moths are a huge hyperfixation of mine)
Just thought I'd get that out of the way lol. Anyway, this is probably one of the most yandere characters I've written mwehehe.
TW: Attempted murder (kind of but not really), parental yandere, manipulation, implied gaslighting, infantilization
...
Ever since you could recall, your father had been very protective over you. He homeschooled you, didn't let you leave the house much, only allowed a few select friends, but those friends were also friends with your dad, and just getting paid to talk to you.
Your father would hold you as often as he could, making sure he was the first and last thing you'd see daily.
He had told you, ever since you were just a young mothling, your wings had been cut off by a robber who attempted to kidnap you, and thus, your father had to be extremely cautious in regards to keeping you safe at home.
You never left the house alone, and even if you did, you were monitored.
Sometimes, you'd get strange flashbacks. Almost like deja-vu, but these felt more vivid in your mind.
Once when you saw Castor, your father's, sword, you had a vision of yourself getting stabbed in the chest. Or when he'd look angry at you, you'd recall seeing that exact expression on his face before. But those thoughts went away as soon as they appeared.
Sometimes you'd get horrible nightmares of him. You dreamed he hurt you somehow. And yet, you'd always wake up feeling fine. Nothing hurt physically.
But mentally? Something just wasn't clicking right.
Recently you began sneaking out of the castle, not wanting to alert your father, and you began going to this little tavern at the edge of town to spend time with your village friends, ones you know for a fact your father would never dream of approving.
"Calliope, Osmond, hey," you greet warmly, walking over to their usual table in the corner, sitting down beside them.
"Hey," Calliope says, leaning her head against her hand. "How was escaping the palace? Almost got caught again?" Her bright golden wings flutter slightly as she grins.
"Nah, Dad doesn't suspect anything at all," you proudly state.
"Good, because he would have our heads," Osmond sighs. He shares an uneasy glance with Calliope, then glances back at you. "We wanted to speak to you about something unsettling we found. About your father."
You hesitate. "If this is about him and the Atlas Kingdom again, I told you already—"
"It's not about that," Calliope mutters. She pulls out a huge book from a satchel, one that barely even fits in it. "Okay, I'm about to warn you, this is weird as hell. Even Oz was weirded out."
"Well if he was unsettled by it, then I'm scared to see what it even is," you say with a breathless chuckle.
"We found it in the royal library," Osmond tells you quietly. "And well, this should explain it." He opens up the book and starts flipping through pages and pages until he lands on one in particular, pointing down at it for you to read.
It has your name and picture on it. Your full name, everything.
At first, you find it slightly strange, but think there may be some kind of explanation. Most of the pictures on the book show you when you were younger, being held on Castor's hip while he made speeches at ceremonies. He looks the same as he does now, except maybe with a bit longer hair.
Then you start seeing yourself getting older...
There's one of a memory you don't even recall, of a headline saying the "(Y/n), Child of King Castor of the Comet Kingdom, joins Arkema Mittrei, Academy" in which you're being handed over to the kingdom's most prestigious academy.
You were homeschooled, that never even happened!
Another one shows you using magic abilities, and you look older than you currently even are. And you have... wings?!
"That was our expression when we read it too," Calliope anxiously says. "We weren't supposed to be in the Royal Library since its always locked and guarded, but we managed to get in with Oz's magic. We were looking for more evidence to prove to you that your father is terrible, but instead we just stumbled upon this."
You don't know what to say. "This doesn't make any sense. I never went to any academy, and my wings..."
"And you look older in these photos," Osmond observes. "I don't know what is going on, but this is just further proof you can't trust him. I know he raised you and you love him, but he's controlling your life and clearly keeping things from you. I knew he caused a lot of meaningless wars and was incredibly paranoid about you, but this?"
"I'm at a loss for words, here," you murmur, shaking your head as you feel tears stinging in your eyes. "What the hell am I supposed to do?! Just confront my dad and hope for the best?"
Calliope puts a hand on your shoulder. "Run away with us," she proposes. "Oz's mom is in the Atlas Kingdom, we can find sanctuary there."
"No way am I just abandoning my dad with no warning," you argue. "Besides, he'd try burning down all of Atlas if he knew I was there! I'll just ask him for an explanation. I'm sure there is one."
"And risk letting him know you've been sneaking out of the kingdom?" Osmond scoffs. "Your death wish, not mine."
"Just give us at least a month or two," Calliope says. "Please. That way we can come up with a game plan."
You exhale quietly, your antennae twitching. "Okay. But no longer."
...
"Uhm, hey, Dad? I wanted to talk to you about something."
"Hm?" He peers his eyes away from the newspaper he's reading and smiles at you. "Of course! Come sit." You hesitate as he pats the seat next to him on the couch, and you reluctantly plop beside him. He hugs you closer to his chest. "So," he hums, kissing the side of your head, "what is it?"
"...have I ever went to Arkema Mittrei Academy?" You watch as his smile drops.
He glances off, contemplating a response before returning his gaze to you. "Oh, sweetheart, where did you hear that? Of course not! I think you'd remember something like that." His laugh sounds nervous. "Have you been having those scary dreams again?"
You bite your tongue. "No. I came across a book in the royal library. I know you don't like me going in there unsupervised, but I did. And I saw pictures of myself at the school, and another one where I'm older, and have my wings. Why do I have no recollection of those moments happening?"
His smile drops even more so, and now, his expression is unreadable. "Where did you get the book, baby?"
"I... uh, I got it in the royal library. I told you that," you stutter.
"How did you get in there unsupervised? There's always guards patrolling the library," Castor explains, narrowing his eyes. "Did someone help you sneak in?"
"What? No!" you lie. You start trying to wriggle out of his grip, but he holds you still.
"Baby," he soothes, almost condescendingly, "just tell Dad what he wants to know. I'm not mad."
He's lying. He's angry. You can't see the expression on his face because he's holding you so closely, but you can feel his rage boiling beneath his skin.
"No, I'm not lying. It was just left unlocked! But that's not my question, I wanna know what I saw in those! Why is there evidence of me doing and experiencing things I have zero memory of?!"
"I knew I should've burnt that damn book," he grumbles under his breath. "I thought you were doing so well this time."
"What do you mean 'this time'?!" you nearly cry, flailing so hard out of his grasp you fall to the floor.
"Oops!" Castor chuckles, standing over you with a cold grin. "Gosh, it feels like yesterday when you could hardly walk without tripping over your feet. Always so wobbly and unstable." He stands up and contemplates on something. "Alrighty, kiddo, since I'm so nice, you have two options. Bedtime and we'll forget about this, or you keep pushing me and we'll see where this takes us."
"What does that mean?" you rasp. "What will you do?"
Castor's bright wings spread out widely, as a show to intimidate you and make you feel smaller. "I really would rather we both just go to bed."
He's never hurt you in the past... "I just want to know what's going on."
"Well, for starters, all that information you think you know is irrelevant, it's been rewritten now," Castor replies nonchalantly, looking down at you. "All those things you saw happened, but you didn't experience them because that wasn't you. Not this you. The original you was too disobedient, so I had to reset and start all over again."
"Reset?!" you repeat incredulously. "What are you talking about?!"
Castor runs a hand through his hair. "Fine. Since you think an explanation is worth it. You can't die. You're immortal, just not in the same way I am. This is like..." He pauses. "...your nineteenth life or so, I believe? Once you die, you turn back into a baby. No injuries, no sickness, no memories. A clean slate. I try to avoid it, but whenever you start rebelling or growing too independent, it has to be done all over again."
"Nothing has to be done! You're killing me, just so you can what?! Watch me grow up again, exactly the same way?! What kind of twisted logic is that?!"
"Don't raise your voice at me," Castor scolds. "I'm not killing you, at least not technically. Besides, I love watching you grow, trying to find the perfect way to raise you. But it seems like no matter how I do so—whether I give you your freedom or make sure I'm the only face you see, you always end up leaving."
You shudder at his cryptic words. "Were you the one who cut off my wings?"
Castor waves a hand dismissively. "Only because you kept trying to run away with them. But they always regrow back once you're reborn." He pulls out a dagger, one you now understand why he always carries it with him.
"Dad, please..." you quietly plead, scrambling back in an attempt to stand up. "I'm sorry. We can let this go."
His eyes darken. "Not an option anymore, sweetie. You asked for answers, and you got them. Hey, maybe the twentieth time is the charm." He lunges for you, holding you down so he can lift his blade. "I'm so sorry, kiddo. I promise it'll just feel like a pinch, and then you'll wake up good as new!" His expression is sweet and adoring, but also crazed.
Just as he brings the blade down and you squeeze your eyes shut, all your hear is Castor's groan of pain.
"(Y/n)!" Calliope yells, grabbing onto your hand and yanking you up.
Castor wipes the blood running down his nose, glaring at the two of your friends. "(Y/n), you made some friends, huh? Must've been sneaking out behind my back for a while if they're jumping in their own graves for you." He gets back to his feet and starts approaching. "Step away from my child before you really regret it."
"Let's go!" Osmond demands, opening up a portal in front of Calliope after she pulled you to your feet.
The three of you tumble in, right before Castor tries attacking you as well.
Then suddenly, you're back outside, standing in the forest where your kingdom stood tall. You can hear him scream in frustration from all the way out here, likely calling for guards and barking out orders.
"He knows magic too," you whisper. "He won't be too far behind."
"I can only make portals so far," Osmond murmurs. "We need to run. Now."
#answered ask#parental yandere#platonic yandere#familial yandere#castor oc#tw attempted murder#tw infantilization#forced infantilization#if anyone wants to see part 2 let me know!! :D
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thanks for the tag @pinguwuuuu 😘😘😘😘
What's the origin of your username? i've been on and off tumblr for a long time, mostly lurking/reading (this is the first time i've ever been actively posting hehe), and the last account i had before this one, i was waaaaay into the star wars and harry potter fandoms so my username kind of combines both of those (darth for the sith lords from sw, and whorecrux is a spin of horcrux from hp but like whore bc i'm a whore). sw and hp may not be as much my jam anymore but they'll always hold a piece of my heart so i came back under the same name :D
OTP(s) + shipname: bbrae (beast boy and raven from teen titans will ALWAYS be my og), asta and noelle from black clover (idk if they have a ship name or what it is), ichihime (ichigo and orihime obviiii), harley quinn and poison ivy, eren and mikasa, and probably so many more im missing...
Favourite colour: pink!!!
Song stuck in my head: Battery by Metallica. im seeing them in concert in may! super excited, i love them soooo much and the beginning of that song is so Hueco Mundo/Arrancar coded hehehehe
Weirdest habit/trait: i'm an early bird! i usually go to bed early (when i can) because i like to be up early, especially on the weekends when i don't have to get ready for work! i like how slow and peaceful the mornings are and how i can be alone
Hobbies: reading, writing, walking, lifting, listening to music, singing, dancing, playing video games, doing my makeup, scrapbooking, etc. >:)
If you could have any job you wish what would you have? it would be sooooo cool to be an author/writer but writing big book is hard!!!
Something you’re good at: listening. i attract the yappers for sure lol
Something you hate: explosive people. i hate being around people where it feels like i'm walking on eggshells trying not to aggravate them. it freaks me out, makes me super upset, and exhausts me
Something you forget: that life doesn't have to be all or nothing. when i'm doing bad or get slightly overwhelmed i slip into that mindset, but not everything is that simple! i don't need to put myself into a box or be perfectly one thing or the other!
Your love language: i literally don't know. i think im a combo of like everything except for gift giving (i suck at giving gifts and i hate receiving them!). maybe acts of service mostly??? i like to show ppl i care by trying to make them happy or lighten the load for them!
Favourite movies/shows: soooo many 😭 Bleach OBVI, jujutsu kaisen, my hero academia, death note, attack on titan, mob psycho 100, rick and morty, breaking bad, squid game, girl interrupted, scream franchise, child's play franchise, halloween franchise, (okay so like any of the classic slasher franchises), and so much more i'm sure im forgetting :P
Favourite food: i loveeeee food! if i must choose one, pasta!!! chicky alfredo
Favourite animal: goat 🐐♑️
What were you like as a child? so weird and kind of a troublemaker. and then i hit puberty and i was like woooow so it's not funny for me to be weird anymore because i'm a lady now?!?! and i got really quiet and have been since
Favourite subject in school: math
Least favourite subject: history
What’s your best character trait: i like to think that i'm kind and keep an open mind. i'm not perfect so i definitely have bad and bitter days, but i used to be very very sad and i don't want anyone to feel that way. i totally rock with the idea that you never know what kind of battle someone is fighting behind the scenes so you should be kind to everyone 🫶🏼
What’s your worst character trait? i'm suuuuuuch a puss and i hate confrontation, like to the point where it's seriously problematic and i will let ppl/things ruin my life rather than confront them UGH or i will just go ghost to avoid explaining why i don't want someone in my life anymore which is not healthy either! (always working on it 🥲)
If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? i'm pretty content! but if i have to choose something, maybe more meaningful connections with others. after college i don't have a lot of close friends nearby. i like to be alone but i probably spend a little too much time by myself lol. i'd also love to not have to work buuuuut unfortunately that's not an option 🥺
If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? my grandmother. she died before i was born and from all that i hear about her she sounds like she was an incredible woman and i wish i had gotten the chance to know her
NO PRESSURE TAGS: @cloudyempress @bucciaratizippers @mayurisstalker @keigolover123
Get to know mutuals ^-^ tagged by @bankaizen (thank you for the tag ❤️)
I'm sorry, it's so long!! I'm putting it behind the read more for easier reading.
What’s the origin of your username? It's a song by Armand Van Helden! He's one of my favourite DJs haha.
OTP(s) + shipname: TUna LMAO (Tidus/Yuna) from FFX, Fanille (Fang/Vanille from FFXIII), Touya/Yukito from CCS, GinRan and Unohana/Isane from Bleach. Yakuza: Daigo/Mine. Also a big fan of Canon Character/OCs!!!
Favourite colour: Turquoise/teal - most of my fountain pen inks are in that colour range lol
Song stuck in my head: The Macrodata Refinement Dance Party mixed by ODESZA
Weirdest habit/trait: If I'm at a restaurant, I fold my used napkins neatly to be disposed of.
Hobbies: I have a lot! Aside from writing, there are:
(junk) journaling, which in turn, lead me to my stationery and fountain pen hobbies
playing the piano (been playing since I was 5)
swimming (was a competitive swimmer for most of my child and teenage years)
I garden in the spring/summertime
I also love to cook and have done dinner parties for my friends (but I don't enjoy baking)
I'm also into photography
I wish I had more time in the day for it, but I also try to do some language learning!
If you could have any job you wish what would you have? A food/travel writer/reviewer!
Something you’re good at: I've been told I'm good at giving advice and listening to people. Personally I'm very good at directions! There have been a few times where I've been stopped on the street and helped people navigate their way around.
Something you hate: Oranges :(, I can't stand the colour, the smell and the taste.
Something you forget: Hmmm not sure! I guess phone numbers. I only remember the numbers of my immediate family...
Your love language: Gift giving! I love getting people gifts and try hard to get something meaningful and/or practical. I'll try to remember little details about my friends and find something along the lines of that. I also love receiving gifts lol.
Favourite movies/shows: Ahhh so many! For animanga: Bleach, Samurai Champloo, xxxHOLiC, Sailor Moon, JJBA Diamond is Unbreakable. For movies: Spirited Away, Sorry to Bother You, Drive, Kill Bill Vol 2, Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, The Fall. Shows: Hannibal, Regular Show, 30 Rock, Prison Playbook (k-drama), Hotel del Luna (k-drama), Racket Boys (k-drama).
Favourite food: Too many... I think I could eat soup dumplings/xiaolongbao by the bucket loads. Or Sri Lankan crab curry mmmm. I also can't say no to chocolate cake 🫣
Favourite animal: bears!!! I know they could kill me, but why are they friend-shaped :(
What were you like as a child? I was an easygoing child and VERY curious. I would wake up in the middle of the night to do "science" experiments. Like one time I woke up around 3am and I dug up the front yard to find "cool rocks" 💀 or buy mentos from the local convenience store, wait for everyone to go to bed, then sneak into the kitchen and put the mentos in my parents 2L coke bottle to see it explode LMAO.
Favourite subject in school: i've been in school for too long: french & geography -> science -> physics -> biology -> advanced health economics for low and middle-income countries & biostatistics
Least favourite subject: Wood working... to avoid a fail, I asked the guy who had a crush on me to help me with my final project 🫣 I also hated organic chemistry in undergrad.
What’s your best character trait: I've been told I'm very caring and calming to be around! I had a friend describe me as a "human version of a spa" 💀
What’s your worst character trait? I cut people out of my life very easily. I think I should be more forgiving, but I just... can't get passed whatever slight was made to me/loved ones. I'm trying to be understanding and compassionate, but I also don't want you near me ever again lol.
If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? I hope trump and his administration dies. In my immediate life? I'd like a higher salary.
If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? It is definitely a tie between Johann Sebastian Bach and Muzio Clementi!! They are my favourite composers. My piano exam repertoire for the Baroque and Classical periods were from their piano repertoire. I have so much fun playing them and would love to learn their thought processes.
I tag: @soprawrites @villainsrtasty @nail-art-no-jutsu @muzansfangs @snuggetfish @if-dreams-do-come-true and any others who want to do this too (also feel free to ignore if you don't wanna do this, no obligation at all!!)
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sorry to be a bit of a hater but i do wish youtubers weren't so scared of making their videos just like, "reviews", whys everything gotta be a "video essay" all the time. every day my recommendations are filled with 40 minute videos titled "_____: An Underrated Masterpiece" where the first like five minutes are reading the wikipedia definition of "masterpiece" in a somber voice with dramatic themed text on screen. please just tell me how good or bad you think something is and use the rest of the runtime to explain why. you dont need to put on all these airs
#i know the ahem. channel. of some awe....... that whole situation kind of scared people off from using the word review#but like we live in the future now. you can make a review. i believe in you#AND LIKE i like a good video essay!! but im picky. because i read academic shit for fun#when i see a capital E essay im expecting theses. im expecting sub headers. im expecting multiple examples AND footnotes with asides#(and i know this is a controversial topic but i do expect them to be long. because if you read aloud a 4 page journal article its gonna)#(take a bit of time LOL maybe i just read too much academia shit. but i dunno man. theres not a lot you can say about like a big huge)#(topic with multiple angles if you only have like 10 minutes. maybe i just talk too slow. i need to breath <3 )#theres other formats too. surveys. retrospectives. informative essays. persuasive essays. etc#and like i also read lots of reviews not just of like movies and books but of like gallery exhibitions and shit!! they can be extremely#interesting a lot of work and some really beautiful writing!! nothing wrong with a review!!! theyre important#but i do get annoyed with like. the odd air of pretention i see in a lot of video essays. especially cause its usually not backed up by#the content. i dont care for those airs in academia either. nor do i like it in documentaries#just talk naturally. you'll find your voice. there might be pretention in it in the end but it'll be yours#if im making sense. i hear a lot of people talking in a pretention that is not their own. something they put on because thats what they#think they should do. you need to find your own pretention. be pretentious in a way that feels natural to youuuuuu#hell im being pretentious. about this LOL but like its my own. it is a pretentiousness ive built over the past half decade#play around. write a blog. i dunno. find your voice dear youtubers. find your voice
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Thank you so much for clarifying! My friends and I really love your work and how you approach your reviews from the foundations of writing and go upwards, and how you really break down the whys of badly portrayed materials. Thank you for all the work you put into your reviews and videos, I hope you get to read more interesting stories about angels and make more paper children!
thank you!! I have been ever ill but ever continuing :) I like what I do, is my secret. I am glad other people like it as well. The concept of "bad writing" has fascinated me since I was a tween, and trying to figure out what it means for something to Suck Ass. I have a hater's heart but a lover's passion for it... and I do my best!!
#This year I hope to do a lot more reading#I read a really interesting midtier angel book last year and didn't write a review which means I've now forgot a lot of it#I maybe should reread it bc. It was really something. (Angel Down YA dystopia)...#Also I really really must read angelfire trilogy#I've had someone for years request i read it and review it and I love that person. I agree. I just haven't#Another fascinating ya angel dystopia where it's kinda good.#I got a lot of angel dystopia books lol. Angelfall too#They who fell was a fav trilogy I read years ago I could revisit#Basically I would love to have a productive Hot Angel Summer where I just cover those books#But for my livlihood there's other ones I should check out. House of night has been on my list forever but it's so many books long#Sometimes theres asks
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"the michael kandel translation of "the witcher" short story can't hurt you!!"
the michael kandel translation of "the witcher" short story:
#WE HERE IN K L O T H S T U R#the witcher books#[ Nobody liked that. ]#i like how the first two 'main' translations (like published for mass market circulation ones i mean)#were like 'no we can't call it a strzyga... no no...'#(maybe like: 'the english readers won't understand...')#and then when the game and book hit (i.e. both beginning with geralt fighting the striga)#everyone was like 'whoa that striga was really cool'#idk idk enough about it yet to say anything definitively#but my experience and all the other reviews and experiences i've read#from other anglophone readers with no prior exposure to polish or broader slavic myth or culture#has been just like: 'whoa i never knew about that... that's really unique and cool'#and on the flip side. originally witcher gained popularity in part because of the familiarity of the fairy tale#and so despite that witcher in general takes a lot of everything from across europe#if i may just summarize it really obtusely and without taking the precaution of nuance and all#although the first two translations were very much intended to feature polish writers and writing#in the way of the actual translation it feels like they tried to diminish its 'polishness' for the english reader#like for example in chosen by fate itself there are no diacritics (though idk maybe that was a lack of capability of the printing press)#it FEELS like that i'm not saying it was intentional but#for example when you don't say 'leshies' and instead say 'bugbears' that feels like diminishing it#but then later when the witcher's quote-unquote 'polishness' is allowed to come through clearer#then it actually is part of why english audiences were like whoa this is interesting i like it :)#you know real-life events are stories too. and i feel like this is a story with a good moral: 'be yourself'#this is also one of the prime subjects where i disagree with sapkowski lol#because re: 'death of the author' theory type stuff. authors cannot control how their works are interpreted by their audiences#works get interpreted on their own fortunately or unfortunately#so though i think it would be misled to engage with the witcher as if its ONLY good quality is its 'polishness'#i think that also it should be acknowledged how its unique take on culture made it appealing to both domestic and foreign audiences#i think where the problem lies is when we believe it can't be both polish and a blend of multiple cultures and traditions#because like yeah. author is an arthurian weeb
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i feel like this is perhaps not a popular opinion but the sort of infantilizing way fic writers (individual) talk about fic writers (group) on here is kind of annoying to me.
#the waffling back and forth between ‘so many fics are better than any book i have ever read’ and ‘you should never criticize fic writers bc#that’s like criticizing a child playing a game’ just kinda irks me lol#i know it is a hobby and i’m not trying to be a professional writer and im nothing special but#it’s still important to me and i treat it with some amount of seriousness you know#like in trying to defend writers it feels like saying i’m not really a writer#well maybe i’m not and im just being an annoying nitpicky baby about this lmao#i need a text post tag#maybe this is why i also really don’t relate to the whole why would i write it if no one is gonna read it thing#like idk. surely ppl draw or paint or do other art for themselves that they don’t have to share
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I'm so heavily anti-advertising that all pitches sound goofy silly to me/I can never take them seriously, so I have no idea how I'll manage to to advertise my game even if I do finally finish it soon-ish lol...
#Especially how so much modern media advertising is like... getting people excited about random tropes and stuff like#''Do you love enemies to lovers? Do you love sad stories that make you do a heckin CRY? Do you love big stupid dumbo muffin cake#sinnamon roll babies who are too good for this world? Have you ever wanted to read a blah blach blah" whatever stuff and it's like#... i cannot type that... I couldnt do it.. I couldn't even think of how to do it ghbjhbjh#I am such a literal person... Like I love when an advertisement is just like 'This product works well. Look at it. Buy it if you want. Ok'#You know what makes me want to read a book or watch a show or play a game? Reading a detailed plot synopsis or the full wiki page#for it and then deciding 'yeah I wouldnt mind sitting through seeing the events I just read about happen in more detail' lol#OR aesthetics. since I do often watch things JUST for the set/costume design. Sometimes I will watch stuff literally#just because I saw a picture of a costume in it that looked really cool and I want to sketch costume looks whilst watching#But aside from appearance like... little bullet point break downs of things that are in a story just ... do not do anything to me at all.#And i just hate 'selling' things to begin with. I don't want to have to convince people to like something.. they should just... like it...#LOL.. like.. just be born liking it. just like it automatically please. Dont make me beg to you like a weird little freak. So many commerci#als seem weirdly desperate and manipulative. Like those Truck/Car commercials that will have like a freaking dog crying and#a war vet in a wheelchair with the american flag in the background and a family hugging around a christmas tree or some shint and its#just like oh my GODDD... shut UPP.. you could literally not be MORE blantant about just trying to prey on peoples emotions to build#some sort of fabricated positive association with your product/brand.. begone.. Or brands having their own twitters where they post#~~relatable content~~ as a means of shallow audience endearment GGGRR..... ANYWAY.. hhrgh...................#Maybe that's something I can ask playtesters I guess like.. I feel like I don't know my own audience very well because I am not#much of a media person?? ironically.. Like I do enjoy MAKING media. But I've never been in a fandom. I've never read fanfiction. I've never#spent much time in those spaces. I've just never really had the inclination and don't personally derive much joy out of stuff like that#(since I'm already so focused on my OWN world and projects its like.. hard for me to even find the time and mental energy to expend on#others). Even when I finish a movie or game and really like it.. I just kind of like...move on? and don't really dwell on it much? At most#I will get into the worldbuilding of a piece of media and read the wiki for a while or watch Lore info or critical analysis videos. But I#never really care for or attach to the characters or the plot itself very much. So I feel like.. the way my brain works. I'm just not as#good at approaching things from that angle? Kind of like how if you're a lifelong vegetarian whos never eaten meat - you might#struggle to write an ad for fancy brand of steaks bc you'd be like... idk what meat eaters are even looking for? whats the selling point??#Which I'm not saying that I wouldn't play my own game. i AM definitely the audience for it. But it's more like.. I would play it for my own#very niche specific reasons that I think are different from what MOST people might want to play it for. So I need to somehow#tap into the minds of the Majority who play things for Normal Reasons than pure lore collection or whatever lol.
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Ok game time which 3 series would you just DIE to get a run on ? I'm talking full creative control, can be as a writer or an artist + plotter if that suits your vibe best
My 3 are
Suicide Squad
Wonder Woman
Green Lantern Corps/Green Lanterns
(in that order)
#last one may wiggle around but i think thats mostly it. others i would want to do but if were talking full runs then this would be my picks#there are other things id ofc want to do though. a wonder girl (cassie) mini in addition to the ww run probably some superman stuff too#although idk him as well i do love him. maybe a mini there or even a prestige format book if i go crazy#would love to do a quick something with cass cain too ofc (me and the rest of this site lol). could probably figure out a plot to smth#longer if i thought abt it but would love to guest write a standalone issue or two for an ongoing of hers#what else would i want to do.... the sui sq and wondy are rlly the big ones bc ive thought abt that the most. glc ive thought about too but#to a bit less of an extent. ooh there was that bleez mini i plotted out during lunch once last year. think i had some sketches laying around#for that too.#who else would i do.... those are rlly the main ones atm. books i would write vs books i would read are definitely different though. there#are some pitches i would throw out but wouldnt know how to write at all i just know it could be done good somehow. like ik nothing abt#aquaman but i think its possible a wonder woman/aquaman story could slap#OR NO A WONDER WOMAN & SUPERMAN ONE I WAS JUST TALKING ABT THAT. dont call it that though ofc they should get a duo name in the same vein as#world's finest. and ofc 72848274 issues of bro time. anyways <33333333#also a not abt the rankings sui sq is higher than wondy which may seem crazy from a wondy blogger but 1. i do love them and 2. they need me#so much more. this subject is such an egofest for me bc ofc i think i could do everything perfect but like they need a good run soooooo bad#whereas id LOVE to do wondy but ik they would survive without me. anyways yeah <3#anyways on a totally unrelated not at all adjacent topic.... my askbox is always open btw 😘#also idk if my green lantern corps book would be called glc. may just hit the green lanterns vol. 2 bc who is stopping me really
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i very rarely get a sense of satisfaction from completing tasks. ive heard people say this is an ADHD thing, but idk. personally i think i might just be bad at being alive
#anime life#i wish i could do something for myself but it just feels so hollow. like why fucking bother yknow?#i wrote a lot of my fic Book of Red Murder and then started to lose steam#and i thought maybe posting it would encourage me to finish it#and it did at first#but then there wasn't a lot of readership or energy around it#which like. is fine and not weird. it's not a big deal and it's not like it's something im OWED#and also i had. a bit of a mental breakdown and had to stop being active in the fandom#so now DEFINITELY no one's gonna read it lol#idk i feel bad even posting about it because i don't want anyone to feel bad or like im trying to guilt anyone about it#i just have trouble articulating what i feel and why and it helps me to try to reason it out#no one did anything wrong but i think it's still understandable for me to say that i was discouraged#when it felt like people didn't really like my writing. or. to be honest. me as a person#i guess the lesson here (if there is one at all) is that if you like a fic you should probably tell the person writing it
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Saint of Bright Doors
a surreal Sri Lankan fantasy about colonialism, revolution, mixing fantasy with the modern world
follows a man raised by his mother to kill his father, a god-like cult leader
but as an adult he puts aside his life of violence and moves to the city for a quiet life
he becomes fascinated with ‘bright doors’ around the city that never open and have no other side, and joins a group studying them to find out more
and a support group for those with divine heritage that becomes increasingly revolutionary, until the task he was made for reemerges and his life upends
#the Saint of Bright Doors#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#this is kind of hard to explain I dont know if I did a very good job here lol#it is weird and full of so many interesting elements. I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about it but?? I really liked it mostly???#It starts pretty small scale focused on the MC & slowly unravels the wider worldbuilding and narrative elements in a really interesting way#The first chapter or two I assumed it was typical high fantasy but then it’s like. oh this is a modern city. with emails and stuff.#The pacing is a bit weird - it’s quite meandering and also pivots significantly in the second half. tbh I’m still ????? about the ending lm#but also I am happy to float through on vibes.#and there’s some elements (like the doors that become….not that relevant) that I want to know more about. (as an aside - I saw someone say#that it’s a very clear retelling about Buddha’s son? which idk enough about but probably could give a deeper context to a lot of it)#writing style is kinda detached from the MC but also there is a reason for this that makes sense with the twist near the end!#which is a kind of twist i LOVE. Maybe I wish it had been emphasised a bit more over the story though? unsure.#I thought his mother's story was interesting also - you think she's an terrible parent just there for background context at the start but#then when she tells her story it's like ohh there's more context here.#also I hesitate to just say ‘if you like the spear cuts-- you should read this’ because I think the elements that are similar are done in a#kinda different way and might disappoint you if you’re expecting it to be the same as spear….but regardless the sort of dreamy writing#rich world; narrative with fantasy but also modern day elements; some of the writing style; mlm MC (tho not a romance)#idk. it will definitely not work for everyone but I enjoyed it overall#also it is full of queerness#bisexual books
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BOOK REVIEW 📖
Last year I kept track of the series & films I watched; this year I've decided to keep track of whatever books I read! So this one is for the month of January – I'll share these sometime after the month is over, or if I read more than one book during the month, I will do their reviews as soon as I finish the book :)
#ben picks up reading again#ben rambles about shit#should note that this is not spoiler free (don't give much context but still)#i would read it again just to catch all the parallels and symbolism#chose to read this on libby bc of the option to highlight and keep notes in one spot bc jfc I would've annotated tf out of a physical copy#doing this completely from my phone and made my own little template because I couldn't find any good ones for free#what else ummmm oh right this is like a basic answer/question and I ramble off topic but still within some type of margin#read that fanfic I recommend really since I feel like it's better written aka maybe I just like it more bc it has a happy ending#and it includes all the same problems that the characters of the original book went through (for the most part)#anyway 4/5 stars and not 5 bc like I got tired of clare's pov bc it felt like there was no different between#the varying ages we get once we reach her at like 12 and up#henry also affected this bc like he's likable but so stupid and shouldve studied paradoxes or something to solve his problems#again rambling it needs a fix it but blah blah not really their suffering is a main point of the book :)#yeah so structured like a traditional one but I focus on not so traditional aspects bc I have a way of analyzing things#as if I have an essay to write on it lmaooooo#these are handwritten bc I like to keep track in case it worsens due to my cubital tunnel affected wrist#(im a righty; lefty on the other hand has carpal tunnel but that only affects when I do hand on projects like pottery or painting)#I'm giving free trivia/lore about myself here lol
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ugggghhh ok so I’m reading some books to prep for my student teaching in the fall, the ones that my host teacher knows are likely to be in the curriculum, and first of all why is it a thing that high schoolers are made to read Contemporary Lit Fic that can be summed up as “how many gory explicit descriptions of traumatic abuse can we fit into one book”, like every year it’s just One Standard Shakespeare Play, One Twentieth-Century American Classic, throw in some other shit, and Somebody’s Fucked-Up Memoir From A Decade Or So Ago. Are there any contemporary books that are good but NOT traumatizing? If not, I’m happy to stick to classic lit personally
ANYWAY so I’m reading this book to prep for the fall and I ended up skimming the whole latter 3/4 or so of the book to spoil it for myself so the suspense wouldn’t kill me, and now I’m up late despite being super tired because my brain is just cycling through every horrific thing in the book, plus the reviews I read online, some of which are insanely saying shit like “wah wah, get over it, stop whining, we all had rough times in our childhood” and I’m like... Am I the softest, most naive baby on the planet for reacting to this horrific memoir by feeling bad for the author and thinking that maybe we don’t need to be making high schoolers read this? I’m not saying it’s not well-written- it is well-written, and well-structured, but Jesus Christ.
(also why are we allowed to make students read horrifying memoirs of abuse but god forbid they know that slavery happened in this country, but that’s a different issue altogether)
so yeah I now have managed to make my entire evening about Trying And Failing To Get Some Images Out of My Head, which sucks because I had a LOVELY day and was looking forward to some well-earned sleep, and also I’m gonna have to go back and read the entire book so that I’m able to teach it properly and know all the literary devices in it and shit. Cool cool cool
#this is the same classroom where i did my student observing and their 'holocaust book' was this book called sarah's key#which is also unnecessarily traumatizing but doesn't even have the decency to be written well#and i asked my host teacher like 'hey. do we provide any like... emotional support to the students when they read That Scene'#and she was like 'yeah i have them write a response paper about their emotions reading the scene'#and idk i'm not 100% sure that's enough?#i know high schoolers put on a big song and dance about how edgy they are and how they can handle seeing any fucked-up shit#and some of them really do unfortunately have to live with fucked-up shit for real#but like. they're still humans? who are growing and developing? let's maybe give them breathing room with these things?#i love my host teacher she's great but i'm not confident she's gonna provide a lot of emotional support re: this memoir to the students#she's also way tougher and more resilient than i am. and so are most of the students tbh. i'm a tiny baby kitten and i know this#still i feel like we should probably allow some room for acknowledging Yeah That Was Fucked Up Huh#It's Normal To Feel Sad Now Actually#ANY THE FUCKING WAY. wish i'd gone to sleep early like i planned#at least it's the weekend tomorrow and all i have to do is go prove i don't have tuberculosis. again!!!!#(not that i had tuberculosis before. i just got tested before but it was over 6 months ago so not good enough)#that's also for student teaching!#i feel like my personal posts on this blog are just a psa on why not to become a teacher#i swear i love teaching lol but i love kvetching more#written by me
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chao planoy's writing makes me want to pull out freud /positive
#i love psychoanalysis ❤️#maybe i'll write a paper for fun analysizing all of the mother/lover stuff in her books lol#there's already so much there in just a couple of books 😭#i wonder if she's ever read carmilla...#that subtext is kind of there but very subtle and few of the adaptations of the work really emphasize that at all#she should do a carmilla adaptation#i would pay her to do it
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Once again wishing I liked the books more.
#maybe I should try rereading them?#idk. like...the character work is good. and I think there IS some stuff that hits harder because we get the characters' internal monologues#but the WAY this man writes. like with words.........not for me. like REALLY not for me.#the use of language and background lore does NOT make my brain happy and it made reading these a miserable experience#like I GET why people like them. they just do not mesh well with me unfortunately 😭#so when people say 'he's gonna do xyz better in the books' my knee-jerk reaction is always ' but IS he?'#also I'm...not sure he won't make [redacted] end up together which is a relatively petty complaint but I DO think it would be antithetical#to both characters. and I genuinely doubt he can sell me on [redacted] if the show didn't#and this isn't to say the show is without flaws but it DOES get lonely trying to generally defend the character arcs#there's basically no fandom anymore and people are pivoting to the books to 'save' the show's flaws and I just simply do not have faith that#they will do that#and this probably doesn't mean much coming from a season 8 apologist lol. like that really is the point where most people#stop putting any stock in what I have to say. but alas this is my blog and I am honor-bound to put all of my rambling thoughts on here.
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── .✦ such a mess together - p. sunghoon



summary: the cute little girl you tutor is always going on about how you should date her smart, good-looking older brother, so why is your annoying, cocky classmate opening the door instead of her? ────── academic rival Sunghoon x reader || sfw, tension, can you tell i love the enemies to lovers trope LOL. || w/c: 3.5k (everyone clap jet is finally writing full length fics !!!)
a/n: ok whos shocked yet another enemies to lovers fic from yours truly - but i cant help that this trope is the most fun to write !!!!!!!
Shocked doesn’t even come close to describing how you feel right now.
You feel as though if you widen your eyes anymore they’ll pop right out of your head, but the thought of him seeing you make such an embarrassing expression forces you to calm yourself. Slowly, he narrows his eyes, clearly not any less confused about this than you are.
“The hell are you doing at my house?” he spits, thick brows furrowed as he looks you up and down.
You’re about to reply with something equally as snarky, but you’re interrupted by a small head popping out from underneath his arm - which is outstretched to hold open the front door.
“You’re here!” Yeji squeals in excitement, ducking past him to throw herself around your waist. You stumble backwards a bit, putting on her head to steady yourself as you laugh softly.
“Hey,” you breathe out, though your eyes don’t leave those of the man in front of you, whose confusion only grows. “I’m here to tutor her,” you say curtly, almost in disbelief that you’d have to spell it out for him this much.
Though it’s not like you’re in much of a position to say much else because, really, you should’ve put the pieces together a long time ago. Being young and uninterested in her studies, Yeji had managed to spend most of your lessons together chatting about her life instead of doing her homework and so you had been told a lot about her - and her mysterious older brother who was rarely around because he was always busy working part-time or studying at university. At the time, you didn’t think twice about the fact that he went to the same university as you or that the times she mentioned him having exams always coincidentally lined up with yours - though now you’re beginning to think maybe you should’ve.
Details like that were easy to forget though, especially when Yeji paid far more attention to the other details about her brother which she deemed far more important. You had spent many afternoons passively listening to her talk about how smart, sweet and tall he was, how he was “practically a prince” - all the while trying to get her to finish her algebra questions. You had even brushed it off when she mentioned that the two of you would make a good couple, and how it was a shame you had never met before.
But Yeji couldn’t have been more wrong, because you actually had met her brother, and far more than you would’ve liked to for that matter. In fact, prior to today, Park Sunghoon had been nothing more than a nuisance in your university life. The one to constantly challenge your points in discussions, to steal your perfect front-row seat or to beat you by a singular mark in final exams. In your eyes, he was nothing but a cocky, good-for-nothing know-it-all who had been unfairly blessed with unnatural good looks which he used to trick your poor female classmates into liking him.
All the details matched up though, times, places, hell they even had the same last name - but it had never occurred to you to put two and two together. Despite this, the shock of the initial realisation pales in comparison to the fact that you now how to continue with your lesson - whilst he sat in the next room over, glaring at you the entire time.
You shifted in your seat nervously, eyes darting between Yeji’s exercise book and the strict gaze of her brother. Seriously, just what was his problem? - you’d never done anything to seriously wrong him, and if you did, you figured the fact that you were helping out his younger sister would be enough of a reason for him to let down his guard for once. But still, he sat there, completely uninterested in the video game he had loaded up as an obvious excuse, eyes locked on you.
The weight of his gaze only made you more anxious and when you brought a hand up to hold your pencil you noticed the slight tremble in it. You couldn’t help but feel irritated, not just at him for being so distracting, but also at yourself for letting him get to you so easily.
“I think he’s looking at you because you’re so pretty,” you heard a small voice mutter beside you catching you off guard. You let out a small laugh, about to calmly tell her to focus on her work but when you raise your eyes to look at her brother in the next room you notice that, for once, he’s avoiding your gaze, clearing his throat out of what almost seems to be nervousness.
“Nice try Yeji, but I think your brother just doesn’t trust my tutoring skills.”
She tilts her head, considering this for a moment - then with the same innocent bluntness as before, she shrugs. "Or maybe he's just grumpy because he got dumped."
A deafening silence falls over the room, and your pencil freezes mid-scratch as you glance up just in time to see Sunghoon's entire expression shift. His eyes widen for the briefest moment before his features twist into something between horror and annoyance. "Yeji," he hisses in warning, eyes shooting daggers at his sister, "shut up."
But it's too late, your interest is piqued and despite the harshness in his tone you can't help the smirk tugging at your lips at the thought of finally having some leverage against him.
"Wait," you say, tilting your head as you look at him, "Park Sunghoon ... got dumped?"
He exhales sharply, dragging a hand across his face. "It wasn't- I didn't-" he stops himself, visibly irritated at the two of you. "That's none of your business."
Yeji, completely unaffected by her brother's obvious distress, hums to herself as she flips a page in her book. "She was really pretty too, she muses, "but she said he was too emotionally unavailable and always busy with school."
You blink in disbelief, then, unable to stop yourself, you laugh. "Shocking," your tone is dripping with sarcasm.
Sunghoon snaps his head towards you, eyes narrowing as if daring you to continue. "What did you say?"
You press your lips together, feigning innocence, but Sunghoon knows you too well for that and his glare only deepens. And for the first time, instead of just irritating you, the sight of him so obviously affected by your words is a little entertaining.
Interesting you think to yourself as you continue with the lesson, now far too aware of how the tension in the air has shifted ever so slightly. He doesn't move from his spot in the other room, or stop staring at you two, but now whenever you look up at him, instead of being able to meet your gaze he quickly looks away, pretending to be occupied with his game. You can't help but find it just a little amusing.
Soon your lesson draws to an end and you begin to pack your materials away into your bag, thanking Yeji for working hard and listening to you - though you're interrupted by a deep rumble in the distance, followed by the sound of light rain. By the time you make it to the front door though, it's gotten much heavier and the plans you had to catch the bus home seem bleak. It isn't like you have much choice though, and you pull your hoodie over your head with a defeated sigh.
"You can't walk home in that," Yeji announces dramatically, clinging to your arm as she looks out at the heavy rain. Suddenly she perks up as if met with a great idea, and turns to her brother - who has been pretending not to listen from the living room. "Hoonie, can you drive her?"
He barely looks up from his phone, though there's a slight delay in his response. "No."
"Why not?" she pouts.
"Not my problem," he mutters.
You roll your eyes, typical you think to yourself as you step towards the door. "It's fine, Yeji, I'll just-"
"You're seriously going to make her walk in this rain?" Yeji cries out as she walks over to her brother on the couch, "What if she gets sick? Then I'll be sad, and when I'm sad I don't do my homework. And if I don't do my homework, I'll fail and when I fail-"
"Fine," Sunghoon groans, rubbing his temple as he pushes himself off the couch in a swift movement. He walks past you, grabbing his keys and twirling them around his finger coolly. "Get in the car before I change my mind," he says sternly.
You narrow your eyes at him and are about to deny his offer but the rain doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon, and you're not stupid enough to reject a free ride out of pride alone.
"Alright," you sigh, shooting Yeji one last thankful look before following her brother out to his car.
"You live in the dorms on campus, right?" he asks casually. The rain hits the windshields of his car with a harsh rhythm, filling the silence between you two as you get in. The hum of the engine is the only other sound as he pulls out of the driveway, one slender hand lazily resting on the wheel.
"Yeah," you say curtly, not even stopping to wonder how he could've known that. You're too busy holding a grudge against his ability to make every move seem so gracefully effortless, even turning a steering wheel.
You sit stiffly in the passenger seat beside him, eyes fixed straight on the road ahead. You'll admit the car is nicer than you expected - spotless, the faint scent of something clean, a little floral, in the air - but you refuse to acknowledge it, just like you refuse to acknowledge that being here, alone with him, feels weirdly intimate.
It doesn't help that he hasn't said another word since you both got in, not that you were expecting him to, but still - the awkward silence feels heavier than it should. You steal a quick glance at him out of the corner of your eye once the car reaches a red light - only to find that he's already looking at you.
Your breath hitches for just a second, but you recover quickly in hopes that he won’t notice your reaction. “What?” you huff, raising an unimpressed brow.
His eyes turn back to the road just as quickly, expression unreadable as the light turns green. “Nothing.”
You sink back in your seat and the silence resumes, but with its temporary break, you feel compelled to keep up the conversation, even if it means more childish bickering.
“I hope you don’t expect anything in return for this,” you say, turning to face forward again - but your attention piques once you hear a faint noise from him. It’s something you’ve never heard before, something just quiet enough that you almost didn’t hear it over the drumming rain, but you’re glad you did because you swear you just heard Park Sunghoon laugh.
"When have I ever expected anything from you," he spits, but the usual malice in his tone is tinged with amusement.
"I'm just saying, don't think that just because you're doing this for me that anything's going to change," you huff, "if it weren't for Yeji you probably couldn't care less about me anyways."
Sunghoon hums, the corners of his lips twitching as if he's holding back another laugh - he doesn't deny it, which somehow annoys you more than if he had outright agreed. Instead, he just shifts gears smoothly, eyes fixed on the road and you hate the way you find your gaze lingering on his profile for just a little too long.
"You sound disappointed," he muses after a beat.
You scoff defensively, crossing your arms. "Yeah, right." You've always hated how easily he could read you.
He just nods ever so slightly and doesn't press for more but the silence that follows feels a little different now, less tense. You shift in your seat and try to ignore the way your heart is starting to beat just a little too fast or the fact that you're waiting for him to say something.
After a moment, he exhales, fingers tapping the steering wheel. "For the record," he sighs, his tone almost confessional, "I don't not care about you."
You crane your neck, searching his face for any sign that he's messing with you right now, a glint in his eye, his signature cocky smirk - but his expression is again unreadable. Instead, you watch the outline of his jaw shift slightly, almost as if he regrets his words, but he doesn't take it back.
You swallow nervously, unsure entirely of what to do with this new information. "Good to know," you say slowly, looking away before he can see how much that single sentence has affected you.
As you do, you're suddenly desperate for an opportunity to change the topic. "How come this whole time I never knew you had a younger sister?"
"Well it's not exactly like you know much about my personal life," he scoffs - and you have to admit he's right.
"I mean, it's not like you're an open book or anything," you reply, "takes me ages just to figure out what you're thinking half the time with that blank expression. It's hard to believe you and Yeji are even related."
"Right because a guy my age should totally be acting like a middle school girl," he nods mockingly.
"You get what I'm saying," you sigh, going quiet for a minute as you think about what to say next. "She looks up to you a lot, you know," is what you land on, trying to balance your tone between sounding casual and earnest.
You watch as he scoffs, and shakes off your comment with a slight shake of his head. "I'm serious," you say, "she talks about you like you're a superhero or something, even when she complains about you, it's obvious you mean a lot to her."
Even though his expression barely changes, you watch his fingers tighten slightly on the wheel - and the beat of silence before his response is enough to tell you that he's not used to hearing things like this. You find it interesting how even though you're practically complimenting him, he responds as if he's unsettled.
"Whatever, she's young and annoying," he finally mutters - though for the first time, there's no real malice to his tone, only something defensive.
"You're deflecting," you point out. This side of him, the one that's quiet and easily affected by your words, is one you've rarely gotten to see and if you're being completely honest, you're enjoying this far too much to let it go. "I think you like knowing she looks up to you."
He huffs, clearly growing tired of your prying. "And I think you like hearing yourself talk."
You roll your eyes, but before you can shoot back with another remark, he beats you to it. "And whilst we're prying into my personal life, Yeji mentioned something interesting earlier."
You pause, suddenly wary. "Oh?"
He flicks his turn signal on, voice infuriatingly casual. "Apparently, you remind her of my ex."
You feel your stomach lurch, followed quickly by a heat creeping up your face. "Excuse me?" is all you can manage to say.
His lips curl slightly, and it becomes clear that he only mentioned this to see your reaction. "Not in looks or anything," he clarifies, glancing briefly at you before focusing back on the road. "Personality-wise, she said you both have a way of getting under my skin."
You scoff, feeling an odd mix of feeling, irritation and something you don't really want to name. "Wow, should I be flattered or insulted?"
"That depends," he muses, "my ex was kinda terrible."
"Seriously?" you gape, shocked at how bold he's being in sharing this with you, "sounds like you're just butthurt from being dumped."
He actually laughs - fully this time, not just the ghost of a chuckle he let out before. It's still short, and a little quiet, but for some reason it makes your chest tighten.
"Relax," he says, tone laced with amusement, "she wasn't all bad, but she did have this habit of always arguing with me, nitpicking things I did just for the sake of it."
You avoid his gaze, picking up on his signals just a little too quickly. "Sounds familiar," you mutter as you look out the car window at the rain.
You don't need to turn back to know his smirk depends, "Exactly."
The air has shifted completely now. The tension is still there, humming under the surface, but it's now covered by something else - something lighter, more playful, and charged in a way that makes you hyper-aware of how close the two of you are.
Then, just as you think the conversation is over, he speaks again - this time softer, almost absentmindedly.
"But I guess the difference is, I never really cared what she thought of me."
It's such an offhand comment, something he's thrown out just to fill the silence. But something about it sticks to you, lingering in your mind as you nod, unsure of how to respond, and so you don't.
You spot the familiar sight of the dorms approach in the distance and even though you're compelled to feel relieved that this torturous car ride is drawing to an end - a tiny part of you can't help but feel a little disappointed that this seemingly rare opportunity is ending. Swiftly, he pulls up to the front entrance, parking smoothly and effortlessly.
As you move to undo your seatbelt, he stops you once again with his words. "Hey, I hope you're not going to stop tutoring Yeji, by the way," he's turned to face you now, but his eyes are avoiding yours.
You furrow your brows, both at his words and his unusual expression. "Why would I?" you say slowly.
"Well, I mean, I just figured because of me and everything-" he begins to ramble, and it's the first time you've seen him stumble over his words like this.
"Relax, I hate you, not her, remember." You say it in the same teasing tone you've always used for him, but it seems to land heavier than you expected with how he turns back to face the steering wheel, his lips forming a thin line.
You linger for a moment, and something about the air between you feels different - like you're standing on the edge of something neither of you can name. Sunghoon's hand is still resting on the gear shift, his fingers drumming against the leather in a steady rhythm.
"Right," he replies curtly, almost to himself and you can sense just a hint of disappointment in his tone.
You should leave it at that, you know you should. But something about the way he's gripping the steering wheel a little too tightly, or how his jaw is tensed ever so slightly, makes you want to press just a little further.
"Unless," you hum, tilting your head slightly, "you'd actually miss me if I stopped coming around?"
"Yeji would," he replies almost immediately - but you don't miss the way his shoulders go rigid for just a fraction of a second before he speaks.
"You didn't deny it," you smirk.
At this, he finally looks at you and there's something about the way he does it - something heavier than the usual irritation or exasperation you're used to. His gaze lingers, his expression unreadable and for a split second, you wonder if you've pushed too far.
But then, he exhales, something softer flickering across his features before he quickly pulls them back into indifference. "Just get out of my car before I start charging you for emotional distress."
You roll your eyes, but do as he says, reaching for the door handle and pushing it open just as the rain continues to pour outside.
"See you next time, Park," you say, "and drive safe."
"Don't tell me what to do," he huffs, though there's a playful tone in his voice as he smirks at you.
You return his look, satisfied, and finally push the door shut - watching as he shifts into gear, headlights illuminating the street. You know you should get inside and out of the rain immediately but you can’t help but watch as he drives off, heart thrumming in your chest as you find the beaming smile on your face lingering. You shake your heard at yourself, almost as if to shake away your thoughts, before turning to head into the dorm.
What you don’t see though, is the way Sunghoon glances in his rearview mirror one last time before turning away, just to catch a glimpse of you before you do.
#park sunghoon#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon enhypen#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon fic#sunghoon fanfic#sunghoon x you#enhypen#enhypen drabbles#enhypen x reader#enhypen x you#enha#sunghoon oneshot#park sunghoon x reader#park sunghoon imagines#park sunghoon fanfic#park sunghoon fluff#park sunghoon fic#park sunghoon x you#park sunghoon x y/n#sunghoon headcanons#park sunghoon headcanons#purinfelix#jet writes ★
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𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐄𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — demon!bucky barnes × fem!reader
𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — your boyfriend bought the perfect house, he said. The house in question beeing a ruin. You hated it but loved him. However, finding an old book and a cocky demon was not what you expected. He proposes a deal, will you accept? What if you don't keep your end of the bargain?
𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 — SMUT, light degration and dumbification, oral (both f/m receiving), p in v without protection, reader has short sex with bf and then later with bucky, filthy sex, a little rough and dirty talk — I'm a little rusty so please don't hate it too much lol
𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 — do you remember me? I sure hope so! I'm not saying I'm back, but I'm slowly coming back...for how long? idk. Anyway, I adore demon!bucky, and I love beetlejuice, so I kinda mixed it up. Please don't forget to give feedback!! Yeah also this has 7.8k words.

With a sigh you heaved a box out of the car, not believing you actually trusted your boyfriend when he said, he found the ‘perfect house’. Aside from the fact that he made questionable choices in the past, you should have checked it beforehand.
Now here you were, in front of a ruin almost and nothing about this house made you feel at ease. It looked like it would fall into itself at any moment, shabby windows and a broken roof.
Shaking your head, you walked inside with a spark of hope that inside looked better than outside. Spoiler, it did not.
“How could he buy something like this?” you whispered to yourself while putting the box down. He probably bought because it was cheap, and it was cheap because no one wanted it…wonder why?
Furthermore, there were two of you and this house was big enough for a family of four with a dog. Meaning it was too big and hadn’t even talked about children – not that you were ready anyway.
You decided to walk up the stairs, look a bit around as a sign of good will. Maybe it looked better in the higher parts.
Everything looked as if it would collapse every second, the wood crunching beneath your feet. The awful smell of moulding floor and plaster falling off the walls, made you roll your eyes. How could anyone want to live here?
At last, you found the stairs leading up to the attic, perhaps anything, really anything interesting was up there. You tried opening the door, but it seemed locked, again you forced your whole body against it and with a cracking sound it opened. You tried opening the door, but it seemed locked, again you forced your whole body against it and with a cracking sound it opened.
You stepped inside, looking around you saw furniture and a long table covered with white sheets. Curiosity got the best of you, taking the edges of the sheet and ripping it off.
Beneath it was a model of this town, the town you were in right now. It made you wonder how old this house was – or wait no, it was decades old, you didn’t need to wonder.
“Awesome, good job Andy,” you muttered to yourself as you let yourself fall onto a covered armchair. Your eyes wandered around the room, fixing on a box filled with paper. Pulling it closer, you lifted it on your lap.
Whoever lived here before forgot it apparently, inside were just pictures, some letters, and a book. “God, how old is this thing?” you asked yourself looking at the book.
It was covered in dust, wiping it away you noticed a different kind of writing, it almost seemed like runes. It probably was not the right decision to open the book, but there was nothing more interesting in this house.
To your surprise, inside the book were letters you could actually ready, and you could pinpoint what Kind of language it was; Latin.
“Could not have become any weirder, found a real gem there Andy,” you muttered to yourself. No wonder the house was this cheap, crazy people lived here. “Honestly, as if they called upon some demons every Sunday, and probably truly believed some creature with four legs and horns would appear.” Shaking your head, you stood up and threw the book aside.
“Now you wounded me honey,” a voice behind you said, and it did not belong to Andy. With a scream you jumped up, turning around to face a man...,“Who are you?” you stuttered, not believing this was really happening.
He was tall, had broad shoulders, his brown hair was long but still a short, framing his face well. Then there were his dark eyes and his arrogant smirk...was he wearing a suit?
“Oh, do you not recognize me because I only have two legs and no horns?” he chuckled, taking a step closer to you. His whole being seemed dark, like only bad things followed him.
Something inside your brain snapped, as if it was overstimulated with the situation, “funny, this is so fucking funny, Andy!” you shouted through the attic. The man in front of you only chuckled, “listen I’m all for hearing a woman scream, but do you mind keeping it down?” His voice slightly hardening at the end.
You wanted to roll your eyes, now you we’re convinced he was a man – at least. “I’m leaving now, and once I’m gone you won’t exist anymore because you’re just part of my imagination,” you told him, hoping that you we’re right and you would wake up any minute.
He walked around you, coming to stand in front of the entrance. His frame almost as broad as the door, it made him even more intimidating. Face dark and calm, with no sign of humanity.
“You would like that would you not? But you can’t, can’t leave this house behind because of sweet Andy...,” he taunted you, and he was right, you couldn’t get out of this house...but you didn’t tell him that.
“Wondering how I know that? You should be a lot more careful with the books you’re Reading,” his grin spread across his face, taking a step closer to you.
“How bad do you want to leave this house?” he whispered, not stopping until he was right in front of you. His warm breath against your lips. You didn’t know what to say, if you should answer honestly...after all you we’re standing in the attic with a strange man.
“Fuck you,” was what you decided on and shoved him to the side. Bucky laughed, but as soon as he saw you glaring at him stopped although he couldn’t stop smirking, “we’ll see about that.” You ignored his words and opened the door to leave this bloody attic.
Downstairs you found Andy who looked like a little kid on Christmas morning, he loved this house and you. Most of all he loved the future you two would be able to start here.
It broke your heart, not knowing if you would ever love this house like he did, if you could see the future, he did…for now you shook that thought away, thinking you would just work through all the weird occurrences. Maybe you’re just catching a cold, and there is no man upstairs. – And you would definitely send Andy up there to check if he could see that man too.
“And what do you think?” he stood in front of you, a wide grin stretched across his lips, “I know we have a lot to do, but it’s ours,” he wrapped his arm around your waist. A lot might be an understatement, and where would all the money come from?
“Yeah…ours,” you muttered, looking into his bright eyes. “We can grow old hear together,” he added, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. You tried your best to smile at him.
---
Two weeks went by, construction workers came in and out of the house, working on the roof and façade. Shortly after your conversation with Andy, you showed him the attic, the book and nothing happen. Nothing happened in the last two weeks, so it had to be imagination.
Right at this moment, you stood in the kitchen – well it wasn’t much of a kitchen yet. You were crouched on the floor, trying to get those tiles clean and see if anything was still usable of that wood.
You opened a cardboard door and were met with something big and hairy, you tilted your head to get a better look when it suddenly moved, looking straight at you.
A loud scream came from your mouth, making the animal start running out of the kitchen. You wanted to cry.
Andy quickly came into the kitchen, “sweetheart what happened?” coming to a stop next to you. “There was a rat, a fucking rat Andy. There are animals everywhere,” you complained.
“It’s not that bad, we’ll have them out in no time,” he promised you, just as a loud crash came from the roof. Just then a constructer came in, “sorry guys, but there is mold on your roof, think it might get a little more expensive.”
You looked at Andy, watching his reaction intensely but he didn’t seem fazed at all. “Seriously? This is money we don’t have, you’re a lawyer not a trust fund baby! This house is a ruin, everyday there is a new problem, how can you not care?”
Andys eyes widened in shock, he didn’t expect you to have such an outburst. But it was understandable, after all everything was a little stressing at the moment. Gently he touched your shoulder, a soft smile on his lips, “don’t worry sweetheart, we will find a solution, I already thought of this.”
Quickly you stood up, “you already thought there was fucking mold on that roof? Then why buy this house, why spend this much money?” he could not be serious, this money could be used for so much more.
“No, not really, but I knew it wouldn’t be easy, that’s why I put some extra money aside,” he told you, coming to stand up next to you. You didn’t understand how he could be so calm, like everything was alright.
“Just ask, leave this house behind, live a nice life,” a voice whispered into your hear, dark and rough. A faint wave of warm breath flowed around your ear, “what?” you asked out loud, this wasn’t real?
“What?” your boyfriend repeated, looking a little confused, taking a quick look around. “Did you say something?” you asked him, it had to be Andy talking.
“I have everything under control, don’t worry,” he caressed your cheek and kissed your lips, you didn’t immediately react. Andy tilted his head a little, searching for something in your eyes, “hey, anyone there?” he questioned.
“Yeah, yeah I’m here,” you lifted your head to meet his gaze, “just need a breather,” you said, trying your best to smile at him. The man next to you nodded, just wanting you to be happy, he didn’t see how unhappy you actually were, how close you were to breaking.
As soon as you stepped out of that house, it felt like a weight being lifted of your shoulders. How could Andy stay this positive? There were rats, racoons and mold inside, doors that broke with a light touch and it was probably haunted. There was nothing in this house that would lift your mood.
“Still don’t wanna make a deal?” the same voice as before said, you swiftly turned around, now face to face with a familiar man. Every word on the tip of your tongue was gone, you were speechless.
“Oh, come on…you really thought I wasn’t real?” he grinned, face so close his nose was almost touching yours. You took a step back, glaring at him and hoping he would vanish into fin air.
“Fine, you’re real. What do you want? My soul?” you asked, you’ve heard stories about demons before and all of them included people losing their souls. However, none of them had the demon persistently asking for a deal, almost as if he was desperate.
“Normally, yes. But you my darling are too pretty for that…I want you, just for one night,” he didn’t move closer to you, still it felt like something was pulling you in.
“You want to sleep with me?” you asked astounded, this sounded like some the beginning of a bad porn video. What could he possibly have of this? You would never cheat on Andy, but could that be all? “Yes, I do and trust me once you had a taste, you will never get enough,” he grinned, showing his perfect teeth with slight fangs.
“I would never do that to Andy, and you can’t force besides I can’t even trust you to that there is nothing else,” you stated, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Darling, it is not all and I can’t force you, goes against my rules…and the rules in general,” the demon revealed, slightly shrugging his shoulders as he began circling you. “You just said that’s all, you’re already lying!”
Your words caused him to chuckle, “no, I said I want to fuck you. For the deal to seal you have to say my name three times, three times in a row it must be spoken unbroken.” He held his chin eye, closely watching your every move.
You scoffed, this was fucking stupid. “Who are you Beetlejuice? I don’t know your name, want me to guess it?” you spat at him, why were you even talking to him still?
“Who do think inspired them to make that character?” he promptly asked, voice laced with smugness, “but no, you don’t need to guess, it’s written in the book, or I can tell you and once you know it, you can scream it.”
“This is stupid and let me guess when I say your name you will be free?” you shook your head, not believing yourself. Maybe the mold in the house caused you to be high?
“Don’t be ridiculous, I can do whatever I want. You will say my name and sign a contract, saying my name will make you mine,” he rolled his eyes, you were going to be a hard one, but he already enjoyed it. Yes, maybe the name thing was a little stupid, but it was too funny seeing people do it.
“Whatever, I won’t make a deal with you. I’m not a cheater and I lived through worse, I will survive this bloody house, I love Andy,” you snapped at him before stomping away, back towards the house.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night darlin’, the name is James, for future references!” the demon called after you, he wouldn’t pass on a chance to make you his and if he had to worsen the state of the house, then so be it. There was no chance he would let you go.
---
The following few weeks went by without any sight of the demon and thankfully no part of the house collapsing. Still to many animals lived there, and the roof wasn’t completely finished and the rooms needed renovations.
And today no good news awaited you, you were tired and just wanted to lay on the couch. But as you stepped through the apartment door there stood Andy with a frown, making your stomach churn.
“Sweetheart, the house is going to take a little longer than expected but our lease is ending…meaning we will have to move into-,” “we have to move into that fucking construction site, are you kidding me?” to Andy your outburst was unexpected.
“I know it’s unfortunate but remember it’s our new home,” he took your hands in his, eyes full of hope. Completely oblivious to the fact how much you hated the idea.
“No, no it is a ruin, nothing is going according to plan and everything is horrible, I will not move into that wreck. I gave you a chance, and everything is going wrong!” you scoffed at him, shaking your head before leaving right out of the door again. This could not be happening, you were holding it together, trying to stay on the right path – then it did.
You took a deep breath and headed towards the park near your apartment. In order to clear your mind, you sat down on a bench near a lake.
Suddenly you felt a dark presence next to you, already knowing who it was. “You’ve been absent the past few weeks, were you waiting for everything to go to shit?” you asked in exhaustion.
“No, that would be very mean,” James chuckled, letting his arm rest behind you on the bench, fingers dangerously close to your shoulder. You dared to take a look at him, it knocked almost your breath out of your chest.
There is sat, thighs wide apart in a black tailored suit with a matching tie. His long hair combed back, matching his beard perfectly – wait since when did he have a beard? And why did it look so devilishly handsome?
“Liar, you’re waiting for me to agree,” you sighed, not being able to keep your eyes of him. “You’re sitting here talking to me…I know you want to,” he moved closer to you, fingertips ghosting over your shoulder which made you shiver. You closed your eyes, reminding yourself that this was a bad idea.
“I said no, I’m not cheating on him,” you told him confidently, crossing your arms over your chest. The bad thing however was, that you couldn’t move into any direction, on one side was his warm, beautiful body and on the other his hand waiting for you to move. He was ready to draw you into his aura.
“But would it be really cheating? He doesn’t even know I exist, little Andy would forget about the house, you would get the best sex of your life and live happily in that cute apartment,” the demon shrugged, foot nudging yours and slightly moving your leg to the side.
Taking a deep breath, you tried to resist every fibre in your body that wanted to give into him. “Just say yes,” he whispered inching closer to your face, lips almost grazing yours.
His words caused an idea to pop into your head, maybe you could use that to your advantage…, “fine, let’s make a deal. You get me out of that freaky house and then we will…,” your voice becoming a whisper at the end, lips close to his ear.
A smirk stretched across his lips, finally he got what he wanted. His hand came up to cup your cheek, “then say my name, say it,” James whispered. “It’s humiliating,” you argued, whining a little to which he only kept smirking – his face had to stay frozen at some point.
“No, it’s funny and we have to practise, don’t we?” the demon tilted his head to the side, eyes roaming over your lips with a hint of hunger.
James had lived for centuries, no millennia and had at least millions of souls in his possession, yet he had never crossed path with someone as beautiful as you. Never did he have the intention on sleeping with them – okay, he did sleep with some of them, but after taking their soul.
You, however? All he wanted was one night, one night to show you everything he had to offer and convince you to never leave his side again.
“Fine, James…,” you started, having to stop yourself from rolling your eyes, “…James,” you continued. Meanwhile the demons eyes glinted with pure excitement, “just one more time darlin’,” he whispered. “James,” you finished, making him laugh in a manner that perfectly fitted who he was.
“Good girl,” he said and snapped his fingers. You expected something to happen, like a change of scenery or a flash of light, “that’s it?” you questioned him, raising an eyebrow at him.
“I’m sorry darling, am I to boring for you? Should I put on fireworks?” James scoffed, this also never happened to him before. Everyone else shuddered, scrabbled to get away but there you sat, with a bored expression.
“Call Andy, ask how the renovations at the house are going,” he told you, lightly rolling his eyes at your suspicious glance. But you did what he said, Andy picking up after the third ring, “hey honey, how is it going with the house?” you lowly asked, expecting to be disappointed.
“What house? You mean the apartment? I guess everything is fine, nothing’s changed…are you coming home soon?” he questioned you thoroughly, confusion evident in his voice.
A huge smile crawled onto your lips, finally the nightmare was over. “Yeah, yeah, I will be home in no time!” you said with happiness before hanging up. “Now where is my thank you?” James pulled you from your thoughts, licking his lips.
“Oh, yeah we will think of a date later,” you answered standing up, pushing his leg aside. The demons face fell, he wanted you now. “You have to keep your end of the bargain,” he reminded you, standing up too with a glare.
He towered over you, flexing his broad shoulders while the air around you all of a sudden became thick. “I know but you never said when and you told me that you won’t do anything without my consent, so…,” for the first time you could grin at him in triumph. Patting his shoulder, you left him there at the park, letting him brood to himself.
James had never regretted not making a contract, he always made a contract to ensure he would not get screwed over and the one time he didn’t do one? He gets screwed over. Not to mention everyone was scared of him, begging him to let them live and they were desperate enough to do anything.
As he growled dark clouds began roaming the sky, his eyes took on their usual blood red colour and black horns emerged from his forehead. He was boiling with anger, no he would not touch you or hurt you, but he would also not leave you alone.
Coming home felt like a relieve for the first time in months, no house to worry about, no finances and just you with Andy. For the past few weeks your sex life had been awful, but today you felt like jumping his bones – Andy surely wouldn’t mind.
You opened the door, instantly seeing Andy on the couch. While walking towards him you started taking of your clothes, only keeping your lingerie on as you sat down in his lap.
“Oh, welcome home sweetheart,” he mused, wrapping his hands around your waist, “look at you pretty girl,” his eyes staring right at your tits. God, he loved the sight of them, how cruel of you to leave them in your bra.
“My eyes are up here cowboy,” you smirked, tilting his chin up with your index finger before capturing his lips in a heated kiss. Andy groaned in satisfaction, devouring you with hunger, tongue slipping into your mouth.
Meanwhile, you started grinding you clothed core onto his hardened erection. Moaned into his mouth as he gripped your waist tight, “mhm, let me taste your cock daddy please,” you whined as you pulled on his belt and who was Andy to decline your wish?
“Get on your knees,” he ordered, breathing heavily as he unbuckled his belt. Without hesitation you kneeled down, grasping his hard length.
Andy’s hand fisted your hair, holding you steady while you wrapped your lips around his cock. “Don’t you wish it was my cock you were tasting?” the voice didn’t belong to Andy, no it was James.
Your eyes widened, squeezing Andy’s dick harder unintentionally and choking on him. “yes sweetheart, choke on it,” he moaned, pushing your head deeper down. Thank god did he not notice. You continued your work, trying to ignore the weird feeling spreading in your stomache.
“I need to be inside you,” Andy gasped, hosting you up on his lap and pushing your panties aside. You held onto his shoulders for support, needing to concentrate on him for now. He helped you ease down on his cock, “Andy, please,” you whined, wanting him to just stretch you open.
“Can he even fully satisfy you darling? I doubt he can make you come as hard as I would,” his voice sounded taunting, he was probably having the time of his life and a cheshire grin across his lips.
“Shut up,” you whispered out loud without even realising it. Andy opened his eyes, looking at you with a hint of confusion, “what?” he asked.
“Nothing, just fuck me,” you begged and hoped he would listen before James ruined the mood for you completely. Your boyfriend didn’t need to be told twice, sitting you down on his member. The sound of your wet cunt motivating him to grip your hips and move you like he wanted.
“Really? That’s what turns you on, not what I expected,” it was as if he was lounging right next to you, but his voice sounded so distant at the same time. Fucking demon.
You started moving at a quicker pace in order to reach your high, gripping him like a vice. “Sweetheart just like that, I love you,” Andy breathed out, letting his head rest on your shoulder and biting gently into your skin.
“Aw, he loves you! How sweet of him, isn’t he just the best?” okay, yeah, now your mood and a chance of an orgasm were ruined. At least you could make Andy come.
You sped up, whispering how good he makes you feel, how bad you needed him and his big, strong cock. It didn’t take long for him to fill you up with his load and with that he groaned loudly inside your neck.
“Feel good honey?” you asked him sweetly, stroking his hair. “With you always,” he countered kissing you softly and full of love. Gently he lifted you of himself, telling you he will come back with a wet towel after wrapping you inside a blanket.
“Wow darling, couldn’t even make you come? Quite a show you put on,” now James was there, sitting next to you in all his might.
“Go away,” you snapped at him, hating how he could just show up at any point, anywhere and take up your mind just like that. “Yeah, I’m pretty down at the moment you know? Made this deal and the woman is not keeping her end,” he shrugged.
“Maybe you need to be clearer on your terms,” you simply told him, not giving him any glance, “you should go before Andy comes back,” you added with light annoyence.
“Don’t worry, he won’t see me unless I allow him to,” he shrugged, turning his head towards you. His hand came up to edge of the blanket, slightly moving it to the side to get a glimpse of your underwear but you slapped his hand away with a death glare, “don’t you dare.”
“I don’t take it kindly someone screwing me over, normally I would kill you…slice your throat open or make you suffer through endless days of torture…,” he whispered in your ear making you close your eyes as his finger trailed down the side of your cheek. James grinned, showing his sharpened teeth.
For the first time in a while you actually felt fear, you feared what he would do to you. Goosebumps erupted on your skin, couldn’t Andy hurry up?
“I won’t do that to you, no need to be so scared darling…however I will make sure you will never forget our deal until you do what you promised,” gently he kissed your cheek, it would be sweet and nice, if there wasn’t a threatening meaning behind his words.
Just then you felt a cold wind of air around you, and when you opened your eyes, he was gone. Andy came back, smiling happily at you while handing a towel over to you. He opened his mouth saying something you didn’t hear, your mind was couldn’t comprehend what was happening.
What would Bucky do? Would he hurt Andy instead? Would he harass you into sleeping with him? No, that couldn’t be, he told you, you had to say yes…right?
“Hey, hey? Anyone home?” he waved his hand infront of your face, a hand on your shoulder. You shook your head, mumbling a yes as you took the towel from him to clean yourself up, “I’m going to bed,” you said, standing up to leave your boyfriend in the living room.
Andy watched you leave, confusion written over his features, did he do something wrong? “Of course you did, you didn’t satisfy her enough,” a voice whispered in his mind. It sounded like his own, yet it had a dark touch to it.
He let his head fall down, sighing to himself before following you to the bedroom. Meanwhile, you took of all of your clothes off and put one of Andys shirts on, then curling under the covers. You weren’t sure how to handle the situation, but you knew it would cost you a lot of sleep.
The next day rolled around, Andy was gone before sunrise to work. You stayed in bed, called in sick for the day and researched if anything could help you right now.
You didn’t dare to leave the bedroom, not if it wasn’t completely necessary. Of course, if James wanted to, he could just appear here too, however you told yourself this was a safe space.
At one point you had to leave the room, carefully walking to the kitchen to find something to eat. In the end it became a sandwich, as you turned around with the plate in hand it almost fell right out of it again.
The kitchen gave a perfect view into the living room and therefore right on the couch. There he was, James, who you had been dreading to see, hoping for one day you would have peace. But no, instead he sat right in front of you and worse of all with no fucking shirt.
“Why are you half naked?” you pressed through gritted teeth, setting the plate down. James only shrugged, standing up to walk towards you, “does it bother you?” he knew it did, and he knew how handsome he looked.
“Yes, now go,” rolling your eyes, hoping it would actually work – probably not but it was worth a try. “You don’t mean that darling,” he whispered, walking closer to you with an intense expression until he stood right in front of you.
You took a deep breath before looking up at him, why did he have to be so tall? Most likely even taller than Andy…, “be careful, don’t want you hurting your neck,” James chuckled, hand coming up to cares your cheek. The act was so gentle you almost forgot who you were talking to.
“Reading minds now, huh?” you asked, trying your best to keep the glare on your face. “I could, but I just know how short your little boyfriend is,” he countered, oh how he enjoyed talking Andy down.
“What do you want demon? You threatened me and now make me look around every corner,” you said honestly. You hated how vulnerable you were right now.
“I wouldn’t have to if you had kept your end of the bargain…,” James tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. His touch felt good, and you hated it because it meant whatever he was trying to do was working.
“I couldn’t, I love him so much…I couldn’t do that to him,” even the thought of doing something like that, hurt you and most importantly made you angry about yourself, because why couldn’t you love Andy enough to accept the house?
“Can you look me in the eyes and tell me you see yourself spending forever with him?” James knew the question would hit a sensitive spot, it was part of his plan after all.
“That’s not fair,” you snapped, there was no way you would crumble under him. “Is it not? You wanted to make the deal, you wanted out of that house,” for once he tried not to smirk, knowing he was right.
“The house was a ruin!” you raised your voice, stepping away in order to leave the situation.
“Sweetheart? Who are you talking to?” What? Why was Andy home this early? One look from the door back to James made you realise he was already gone. Andy stepped inside the kitchen, again a little confused.
“No one, sorry, what are you doing home?” you asked instead, coming around the isle to kiss his cheek. “Have you looked at the clock? It’s five pm,” he chuckled, wrapping his arm around his waist.
“Oh, yeah right, I’m just a little tired,” you tried smiling it off, but Andy didn’t seem to buy your words entirely. Before he was able to ask questions you left for the bedroom again.
“See that? She is not happy with you anymore. She looks sad just being here with you,” that voice sounded in his mind again. For the whole day these thoughts had been haunting him, now he had enough.
With quick steps he followed you, “are you happy?” he called after you, making you still in your movements. “What?” “Are you happy? Do you still love me?” he questioned further.
“Why would you even ask me that?” you were utterly confused by his actions, by his words. “You’ve been acting weird, always closed up and when we have sex-“ “seriously? I sucked your dick off only days ago and let you fuck me like you wanted, I would hardly call that being weird.”
Andy looked at you with an unreadable expression, “wow, now that you say it! I just have to be wrong then,” he scoffed. Shaking his head, putting one hand on his hip.
“Andrew stop whining, I’m fine and you have no idea how much I love you,” you bit back, rolling your eyes at his stupid thoughts. Where does all of this come from? Of course, you had fights with Andy, but they all ended as soon as they started. Add to that, why was he so insecure?
You have known him for five years by now and he had always been confident in his being as well as your relationship.
“If you love me so much, why won’t you show me? I’m tired of this shit,” with that he turned around and headed towards the front door, “you’re acting like a child!” you shouted after him.
You took a deep breath, did this really just happen? “Wow, how sad, poor Andy,” great, James was just what you needed right now. “Told you it won’t last,” he leaned against the wall oppisite of you. “Did you plant these ideas in his head?” you questioned him, fury present in your tone.
“What if I did?” pushing himself off the wall, “it’s the truth, he doesn’t deserve you darling,” again his found their way to your cheeks. Why did he always have to be so close? Oh, right, because he knew it made you weak.
“You just want to sleep with me, you don’t like that I screwed you over and now you’re destroying my life!” you were close to tears, you thought after getting rid of the house everything would be better.
“No, no, I’m not but you could have such a better life with me, I knew it from the moment I first saw you,” James looked like he really meant it, as if you could just believe him.
“So, what, it was all a trap?” you asked, slowly beginning to get more angry than sad. “Well, I didn’t expect you to lie to me,” he admitted. A part of him, however, was proud of you, not everyone had the guts to lie to a demon.
Honestly you were fed up with him, with the whole situation. He destroyed your relationship with Andy and made you rethink your whole life. Then again, he was a demon, a creature you never thought would exist and yet here you were talking to him.
“You said you wouldn’t force me, but here you are,” you argued, wanting to break free of his hold. “Then step away, I’m not holding you. I know you’re fighting with yourself, take a step back if you really think you don’t want this.”
You did not step back, you didn’t move an inch. Biting the inside of your cheek, you didn’t dare to meet his gaze.
He moved his hand under your chin, lifting your head up, “it is time you keep your end of the deal,” with that he placed his lips on yours. At first, he didn’t move, waiting for you to change your mind.
Then you slightly opened your mouth, inviting him in – an invitation he gladly took. His tongue explored your mouth, consuming you with pure hunger. You tasted just like he imagined, like sweet honey and he doubted he would ever want to stop tasting you.
You snaked your arms around his neck, pulling him closer while he moved to tightly grip your waist. Suddenly he began pushing you towards the bedroom, without breaking the kiss.
Once you were through the door, you turned to push him away in order to breath, “you forget I’m human,” you said breathlessly.
Suddenly you were thrown on the bed, “James,” you shrieked, caught off guard. “Bucky, call me Bucky,” he said, undressing you with his eyes. You didn’t have time to question the change of name as he ripped Andys shirt of your body, “you can give him the shreds back.”
Bucky licked his lips, slowly kneeling down on the bed, his fingers skimmed along your naked skin causing you to lightly twitch. Hooking his fingers under your thong, slipping it down your legs.
Your breath hitched, everything about him screamed dominance but between your legs it was an unexplainable aura. Not even Andy was able to make you feel this way.
Throwing your underwear on the floor he wrapped your legs around his neck, “has he ever tasted you? Really, tasted you?” You just shook your head, flabbergasted with wide eyes, “no, he…just used his fingers,” you confessed, blood pressure rising.
Bucky only gave you one of his signiture smirks before lowering his head to your dripping cunt. He let his tongue glide through, before closing his mouth around your clit and harshly sucking on it. His hands kept your hips in place, he knew this was something you’ve never felt before.
A loud moan left your lips at this new sensation, hand coming down to tightly grip his hair. “Fuck,” you breathed, other hand holding onto the sheets.
Bucky lapped at your cunt like a starved man, “fucking delicious darling,” he groaned against you. Rocking your hips up against his mouth, you whined as it didn’t feel like enough, “more, please.” It made him chuckle, “I didn’t know you had manners, want my fingers so bad?”
You nodded franticly, bucking your hips up again as an invitation. He coated his two digits with your slick, then pushing them inside you. He already felt so much better than anyone else before.
“Gripping me like a vice, I can already imagine how tight you will feel around my cock,” he gloated, curling his fingers against your velvet walls. You just agreed with everything he was saying, enjoying the way he ate you up.
“Oh, shit,” you moaned as you felt a knot tighten in your stomach, the feeling of pleasure consuming your body and Bucky’s sinful words filling your thoughts. Bucky saw you crunching your eyes together and slightly lifting your hips. It was all it took for him to realise how close you were to coming.
The demon curled his finger against your g-spot, tongue circling your clit, “come for me darling,” his beard was scratching against your sensitive skin. A pornographic moan slipped from your lips as a rush of ecstasy crashed into you, it was all it took for you to have one of the best orgasms you ever had.
“Beautiful, my good girl,” Bucky kissed along your stomache, still keeping his fingers inside you to slowly work your through your orgasm. “Don’t lie to me, did little Andy satisfy you like you needed?” he hovered above you, letting his forehead rest on yours.
“No, no, he was always gentle and-,” “you want it rough huh?” he cut you off with a wicked glint in his eyes. You wouldn’t say it like that, but it never mattered what you did, Andy was always nice and took great care of you. Which of course is good to a certain point, however sometimes when you tried to initiate a rougher approach, it didn’t work. At all.
“Yeah, I mean, I’ve never…,” you mumbled, not knowing what to say to him. Without knowing him for long, you could’ve already guessed Bucky was gentle but had no fears of being rough and pushing you as far as he could.
A slap on your drenched cunt had you gasping, head falling back. “Are you already too fucked out to form logical sentences? One orgasm and you’re gone, what will my thick cock do to your little brain?” he cooed.
Yeah, you could die right on the spot. “Now, say it again,” he whispered, continuing to rub your clit in slow circles. Your brain began working overtime, trying to form a complete sentence to please him, “Yes, I want it-,” you had to take a deep breath as he pressed onto nub as he watched you with anticipation, “rough,” you finished.
It was as if something snapped in Bucky, like a coin dropping. Bucky ripped your bra in two before undressing himself. The sight of him made your mouth water, he may be a demon, but he looked divine.
Your eyes trailed down to his large member, standing proud and the tip hitting his lower stomache. Once he was completely naked, he came back to you, gently taking your ankles.
Thinking he would draw you closer to him, you lifted your hips but instead he roughly flipped you on your stomache. Then let his hands glide to your waist, pulling you against his chest. His body radiated with warmth and his hard cock pressing against your lower back.
“I’ll fill you up so good darling, you will feel me for days,” he promised, fingers pushing in your glistening pussy. “You’re so wet for me,” he pulled his fingers from, holding them up to your mouth, “open,” he commanded, instantly, without thinking you listened.
“Suck, darling,” he added, you followed his order and sucked his fingers clean of your slick. “Tastes good, doesn’t it?” a moan slipped from your lips at his words, you would’ve never thought something like that would turn you on this much.
“Now imagine how good we would taste together,” those were the last words you were able to comprehend before his pushed his leaking tip into your cunt.
A loud gasp sounded through the room, being slightly muffled by Bucky’s fingers. He continued to push further inside you, splitting you open. “Bucky,” you whimpered, holding tightly onto his arm.
“Mhm, I was right, you’re so fucking tight. Feel my thick cock splitting you open?” he growled against the shell of your ear. He continued pushing in, the way he stretched you made you feel a kind of pain you welcomed. Bucky began moving his hips at a slow pace.
You tried focusing on forming words, but your head felt empty, he filled you up too good. A deep chuckle sounded through the room, “can’t believe I already fucked you dumb,” he could believe it. “Fuck, see? This is what happens when you finally get properly fucked.”
“Please, faster,” finally you managed to say something, and it didn’t surprise Bucky, but who was he to deny your wish? His pace became rougher. You never thought a cock was able to make you feel this good, you never came from Andy’s before.
With every thrust he hit your spot, god how much he loved the feeling of you clenching your walls together. When he added his thumb into the play you moaned louder. He loved the sounds he could drive from you.
“Such a dumb little slut, this what you were made for,” lacing his hand around your throat and squeezing it made your walls clench resulting in Bucky groaning deeply.
You felt the need to have Bucky closer, his body flush against your, cock stretching you in ways you never dreamed of and yet he was still so far away. You took his free hand to wrap around your waist, a silent order to press you closer to himself.
“Darling am I not close enough for you?” in a teasing tone, he began pressing small kisses to your neck. His cock hitting deep inside you, watching a belly bulge becoming visible. Why did you try to prevent this moment from happening?
“Fuck best cunt I’ve ever had, I’m gonna come and let you milk my cock till the last drop,” Bucky was close to the edge, it had been too long since last had his cock buried inside anyone. He had masturbated to this thought countless times, but it was better than he could ever imagine.
“Come for me, come for the demon you deem he destroyed your life,” you tightened around him, head falling on his shoulder, “I need more,” you begged, you enjoyed his skilled hands.
The demon smirked, letting go of your neck to rub your clit, then shoved his pointer finger in beside his throbbing cock. In response you moaned loudly, a fully new sensation. “That way we can make sure I won’t slip out,” he chuckled, he wouldn’t have slipped out either way, but he enjoyed seeing your reaction.
“Fucking come for me, I said,” his tone became harsher, more controlling. Bucky curled his finger in rhythm with his hard thrusts. That was it the curling finger, the thumb circling your clit, the way he split you open with his cock.
A pathetic whine left you as you came all over Bucky’s cock, bliss shooting through your veins. “Bucky,” you sighed over and over again, the name music in his ears.
“Good girl, told you, you’d be chanting my name” he praised, his pace becoming uneven as his high neared, “milk every last drop of me or I will paint your pretty face with it and let you walk in front of Andy like that.”
He reached his high head falling in the nape of your neck. You accepted every drop of him like you were told, your hand snaking into his hair to ensure he stayed like this.
As the last drop came from him, he stilled in your cunt. Endorphins jumping through the air, you’ve never been happier and this because of a demon who had threatened to ruin your life, who stole millions of souls.
You didn’t know how to act, all your feeling were over the place. Everything felt right, for just a moment you were able to forget everything that happened.
Softly Bucky moved out of you, drawing a whimper from you, “I know you’re missing me already, but we gotta be careful,” why did we need to be careful? You wanted to questioned him, but then he was gone while you laid on the fluffy covers. It only took a second, then he was back with a wet towel to clean you up. You silently observed him, maybe he was right, maybe you couldn’t see a future with Andy and maybe this was more what you wanted.

yall know I love my andy, but he's just perfect for this role, and so there he went.... If you liked it, give a reblog and/or feedback!
#my cat lover bucky 🦾🤍#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#demon!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x black!reader#bucky barnes imagine#demon!bucky barnes x reader#sebastian stan
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