#maybe i need to work on the fact that i am terrified of people not liking me lol

[4lph4kidz]

i feel like i've been really negative at times, if not mean, and i don't really know how much of that fear is reflected in reality at all but fwiw i am sorry, that's not the kind of prescence i want to maintain here

[elytrafemme]

ok i need to be very kind to myself and acknowledge that i had a good day regardless of how it ended but i did find out that my other best friend (no.4) is asking someone out meaning nearly every person i know is either at that stage or in a relationship and i’m wondering at what point do i start ramping up my insanity in hopes of finding any kind of love

[autism-disco]

i like when they change the time signature a lot it sounds nice (time is too late to have complex problems)

[sanguineterrain]

Hi Sanne! I'm not sure if requests are open, but if you're up to it I'd like to request red hood x reporter! Maybe reporter reader is getting too close to a case and is starting to become a target and hood takes her protection into his own hands? ((Including lots of midnight rendezvous and rooftop bump ins))

i love this prompt sm! i've been thinking about a reporter reader ever since i read task force z :) thanks for requesting!

jason todd x gn!reporter!reader. tw: reader is attacked (but they're okay), guns, violence, fighting, jason being both a force to be reckoned with and a big softie. 2.5k words

****

"I don't need protection."

The Red Hood crosses his arms. You cross yours right back.

"Yes, you do," he says.

"No, I don't. I've lived in Gotham my whole life. I can take care of myself."

"Living around and being in the thick of violence are very different. You're already chasing this story; they will come after you."

And what a story it is. The story of the decade, at the very least. A task force of formerly-dead Arkham patients wielded against Gotham by a mysterious benefactor.

It's terrifying. It's dangerous. It's sure to win you your first Pulitzer.

And it all means absolutely nothing if the Red Hood keeps wrapping you in red tape.

Your jaw ticks. "This is my story, Hood. You can't turn it in, so I will. And I won't be scared off by some slimeball."

"Oh, please. You wouldn't even have known about this story if it wasn't for me, smarty."

Smarty. His favorite moniker for you because, according to him, you think you know everything.

Working with the Red Hood has been an unfortunate side effect of chasing your prize-winning story. Not only is he wanted in twenty-six countries (you Googled it) and is a ruthless crime lord (supposedly formerly, but you're doubtful), but worst of all, he's got an attitude to match yours.

He's also built like a tank, which is why you can't just. Outrun him.

"I can't just not publish the story," you say.

"I don't want to stop you from publishing the story. Hence the protection."

"I can't afford a bodyguard."

"Well, it's a good thing I already paid my rent this month."

You scoff. "The Gotham Gazette has a strict 'no armed and dangerous' policy. I'm afraid we all have to leave our gun-toting vigilantes at home."

You open the driver's door of your car, ready to end the conversation here and now. Hood calmly closes the door with his hip and leans.

You glare. "Get off of my car."

"Fact." He holds up a finger. "These kinds of people always strike before the story comes out. They know you're scared and stressed, and they wanna do it before the story gets out. Otherwise, it's obvious who killed who."

"And where did you read this fact? Crime Lord's Digest? We don't even know if they know I'm the reporter who broke into the lab."

"Listen, smarty, I've been in this game a lot longer than you. I know how they operate," he says, finally getting off of your car, only to lean on the hood. Jerk. "It's only a matter of time before whoever's behind this snuffs you out."

"I am not letting a wanted criminal nest in my apartment!"

"That's why I'd be there."

"I was talking about you, Hood."

"Funny."

"I'm not joking. Look, I appreciate your... help." You try not to show your exasperation. "But there's no way I'm inviting you over to my apartment. That'll set off more alarms. If anything happens, I'll call you. Until then, stay away. Deal?"

Hood looks you over.

"Hm. You're awfully comfortable with giving me orders, smarty."

Your adrenaline spikes for a second. But it quickly calms. You've worked with Hood for a month now. Sure, you were petrified the first week, but it quickly dissipated. You've fallen into an odd camaraderie with him.

It's actually kind of nice, having him on your side. No one at the Gazette gives you the time of day. You've become used to having a partner. Not that you'd ever tell him that.

"You take orders so well, I can't help but dole them out," you say, only a little smirky.

"Watch it," Hood rumbles, only half-serious. Probably.

You beam and wrench open your car door, sliding into the seat.

"See?" you say, turning the ignition. "No snipers waiting to take me out. I'll be fine."

He shakes his head and slides off the hood. "Ten bucks says they'll try by the end of the week."

You close your door. "You're on."

****

As it turns out, Hood doesn't need the end of the week to earn his tenner. Trouble breaks down your door the very same night.

You're on your couch with some well-earned Lebanese takeout when your door is ripped off of your hinges. You shoot up from the couch, chest immediately tight.

Your assailant is masked and isn't that typical, giving masked men everywhere a bad name.

You run to the kitchen, hoping you can grab a knife. But you're grabbed before you can get there. You slip on the carpet and trip further into your assailant's arms.

"Keep still so I won't make a mess," is all he says.

You start screaming. He covers your mouth and you bite his hand. That earns you a thump on your cheek, so hard your vision blurs.

Bang!

You freeze, expecting the warm drip of blood and the excruciating pain to accompany it. Instead, your assailant falls to the floor, clutching his ribs. You stumble backwards and see Hood at your door, gun still aimed. He stalks over and kicks the assailant in the chest as he does. The assailant groans.

"You okay?"

You're still staring at the man who very nearly killed you a minute ago. Blood roars in your ears. You think you might be close to fainting.

"Hey." Big, gloved hands hold your face. You flinch and hold the owner's wrists. Hood comes into view once more.

"Are you okay?" he asks firmly. "Look at me, look at me, sweet. Breathe. 'S okay. Does anything hurt? Did he—"

Hood cuts himself off as he touches your cheek, where you were hit. He lightly runs a thumb over what is probably a budding bruise.

Hood lets you go and whirls onto your attacker. He hauls him up and presses a gun to his stomach.

"Go ahead, shoot me!" the attacker shouts.

"If I shoot you, it won't be out of mercy. You won't get a quick death. You don't deserve it," Hood snarls, and you suddenly remember all of your good reasons for fearing the Red Hood.

"I ain't telling ya shit!"

"I don't expect you to," Hood says, and fires again.

The man crumples to the ground, but he's clearly still breathing. Still alive. Hood drags him to the door by his collar.

"You go back to your boss. And you tell 'em that they're fucking with the Red Hood now. And, in case I'm not being perfectly fucking clear through all that blood loss—" Hood grabs the man by his hair and wrenches his head back. "If you come for my reporter again, you'll wish I was kind enough to put a bullet in your head."

Hood hauls your attacker outside. You hear a car start a minute later, and it tears down the street.

You look at your guardian angel, spattered in blood.

Not nearly as much blood as I expected, you think manically.

Your body aches and shakes with adrenaline. You can't even get enough control to move to the couch.

"How–how did you get here so fast?" you ask, staring at your now cracked coffee table.

"I've been monitoring your apartment since you got home. One of the traffic cameras picked up a stolen vehicle turning onto your block, so I came here."

You look at Hood. He seems very collected, all things considered.

"You—how did you find my apartment? Have you been stalking me?"

"Please. Lend me a little credit, smarty. I don't need to stalk you to find where you live," he says, holstering his gun.

"Are you insane?!" you burst. "That is such a gross invasion of privacy! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Hood looks at you.

"What's wrong with me is I just saved your life," he says evenly. "And on that note, you owe me ten bucks. Maybe even fifteen, considering it took less than a day for them to do exactly what I said they would."

Your lip wobbles. You don't know what triggers it; maybe it's your scratched up door or torn sofa or the fact that the Red Hood is in your living room right now with blood on his suit.

The tears form quickly. You can't stop them.

You cover your face but a sob claws out of your throat. Soon, you fall into big, heaving cries.

"Whoa, hey." The floorboards creak under Hood's unsure footsteps. "Hey, I didn't mean that. Shit. I was just kidding about the bet part. Aw, don't cry, smarty."

A hand lightly touches your shoulder. You lean in, but don't dare to initiate more contact. So Hood eases you into a side hug, awkwardly patting your other arm. He's extremely warm and solid with muscle, but his chest is soft enough to rest your head on. He unclips his holster so it doesn't dig into your body.

"I was just kidding," Hood says quietly in your ear. He rubs your arm. "'M sorry. Didn't mean to make y'cry."

You sniff and shake your head. "No, it–it's not that, I'm just—God, I'm t-terrified, Hood. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? They're gonna kill me! I'm gonna die before I win my first Pulitzer!"

You try to suck in deep breath but it's not working. Hood leads your unsteady feet to the couch. You sit, fingers gripping his jacket. Hood carefully loosens your grip.

"They're not gonna kill ya, smarty. I won't let 'em. C'mon, let's have a seat. Where's your kitchen?"

You point, lashes still thick with tears. Hood leaves and returns shortly. A glass of water is held to your lips. You drink it, breathing stilted.

"'S okay. Take it easy. Breathe. That's right."

You swallow half of the water, and he sets the glass down on the coffee table. Hood hands you a wad of tissues.

"This is pathetic," you say, wiping your tears. "Can't believe I'm being nursed by the Red Hood."

"I think nursed is a strong word. But it's more than I usually do for my informants. Then again, they don't usually burst into tears."

"Don't make fun of me. I'm fragile."

"I wasn't making fun of you," Hood says, gentler than you've ever heard him. He puts the tissues aside and rests a hand on your shoulder. You turn into it, appreciative of the weight. "You handled this better than most people would. You didn't even pass out. Hell, I've passed out."

You're sure that Hood is leaving out important details behind that anecdote, like fighting off a hundred men or being swallowed by a whale beforehand. You're grateful nonetheless.

You turn to him, fresh tears in your eyes. "They're gonna kill me, Red."

He shakes his head. "No. Listen to me. Nobody is gonna do anything to you, okay? I'm not gonna let 'em hurt you, smarty pie."

"That's an impossible promise," you say. "One of these days, something will happen. You can't be everywhere at once. Especially not while I'm at home."

Hood tilts his head. "Well..."

"Well, what?"

He rubs his throat. An old injury, he'd once told you. The pain flares up sometimes.

"I could call in a favor. Get you into a safehouse."

"You would do that for me?" you ask. You probably shouldn't ask. Shouldn't look a generous vigilante in the mouth. But you can't help it.

"I can't very well publish the story myself, can I?"

You shrug. "I doubt that. You have your ways. Once you have the evidence, you don't need me."

"That's not true," Hood says fiercely. "I do need you."

Your eyes widen. Hood fumbles for a moment.

"That—I mean for the case. Obviously. I don't have any journalistic links besides you. And I wouldn't want the story to fall into the wrong hands."

"Oh." You have a strong urge to wrap your arms around him. Weird. "Well, um, thank you. I appreciate it."

"Don't thank me yet. It'll take me a few days to get the safehouse," he says.

You deflate. "Oh. So I have to stay here until then?"

Hood is quiet for a long time. So long, you briefly revisit your original theory that the Red Hood is actually an AI remotely controlled by a billionaire.

"Hood?"

You reach to touch him. He flinches, a tiny movement. You immediately draw back.

Nope. Still a man.

"Sorry," he says, hand slipping from your shoulder. "I was, uh, going over options. No, your place is toast until we find whoever's behind this. But, um, it would be possible for you to—if you want to, 'cause if you don't, y'know, I understand, but I—it would be doable for you to, uh, stay with me. Until I get the safehouse."

"Stay... in your apartment?"

"'S not far from here. And it's a hell of a lot better protected than your place. And, y'know, I'd be there most of the time, so like..." Hood clears his throat. "Uh, yeah. It'd be safe. I promise."

"I wouldn't want to impose," you say, nervously scratching your arm.

"Mm. If you're scared of staying with me, y'can just say so. I won't take it personal."

He does kind of sound like he's taking it personally.

"No, Hood, it's not that. I don't... I'm not afraid of you. That, uh, went away a while back," you say. "I just... I don't want to burden you. After all, it's your space."

He makes a sound that tells you he's rolling his eyes behind his helmet.

"Saving your life is important, smarty. Why you don't think so, I'll never know."

You make a soft, pleased sound. "Got a real bleeding heart there, Red."

He sighs. "Yeah. I'm working on it."

You grin. "Thank you for rescuing me."

"Part of the job. If you don't wanna stay with me, I could..." Hood hesitates. "With your permission... I could get the Bats involved. Ask one of them to house you."

"You mean Batman?"

Hood grunts. "Preferably anyone but him, but yeah, if it comes to that. He'll probably get involved anyway. Fuckin' busybody."

"The Bats would protect me? But they don't know me."

"Don't matter. If I asked them to, they would. If that's something you want."

You think. Is it something you want?

Sure, any reasonable person would prefer Nightwing or Batman to protect them.

"I don't want to stay with them," you say. "I'd rather stay with you."

He jerks like you've told him the sky is falling.

"You do?" he asks.

"Well, yeah. I know you, Red. And I know you'll keep me safe."

"At any cost," he says.

That simultaneously frightens and thrills you.

"Then I'd like to go home with you," you say. "If you'll have me."

"'Course, smarty. Anything to keep you safe. Go pack some stuff. I'll be out here. You're okay?"

"I'm okay." You stand and turn before he can see what he does to you.

Yes, it's an odd thing, being partners with the Red Hood.

You're starting to fear that you can't have it any other way.

(pt 2)

[darnell-la]

𝗣𝗜𝗖𝗞𝗘𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗙𝗥𝗢𝗠 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗔𝗥 (ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴡᴏ)

pairing: dark!stalker!logan howlett x bartender!reader

warnings: kidnapping, breaking skin, manhandling, choking, hard orgasm, begging, change of mind, teasing, degradation, etc.

note: lil pervy bastard. fuck, I just know he’d make sure you knew who you belonged to.

follow our Instagram @ darnell.la so we can start posting random videos, photos, edits, and memes of the people we write about!

———

“W-Where am I?” Y/n asked as Logan finally played her down his bed. The layout on the room scared her, because it was similar to her own layout, just more things she’d been wanting to get that she has noted in her notebook.

“Home, princess — Gotta lay low for a couple of days though, after that stunt you pulled,” the man had glanced back at y/n as he went through his drawer that was full of clothes y/n would definitely wear, and some clothes that she noticed him missing throughout the months.

“Logan-“ y/n was scared at how much work he put in for her. He was a grade a stalker, and the worst one at that. She wouldn’t be able to fight him off. No one could, and he knew that.

“C’mere, princess,” the man said after finding a nightgown for her to wear for the night. “D-Don’t come near me!” She shouted, but it sounded so pathetic. She knew that once he laughed and continued walking towards her.

“N-No,” Logan pulled on y/n’s ankles until she was on the end of the bed. “You needa be comfortable around here, Bub. Can’t have my princess worried, stressed or anything. Not one issue,” the man said like he hadn’t kidnapped her.

Y/n could hear the sirens outside of the apartment, making her think he probably lived close to the bar, and he did.

He worked hard to earn money for his own apartment. He didn’t need to stay with the x men or anyone else for that matter. He needed his own place to have y/n in.

“Stop it, let go of me!” She yelled at the man as she kicked and swung, but the man eventually got her clothes off. Every last fabric.

“Don’t fuckin’ piss me off, y/n. I’m just gettin’ you ready for bed,” the man tried being calm. He didn’t want to hurt y/n, but she’s leaving him no choice just about.

“N-No! I wanna go home!” She yelled as she finally got loose from his grip somehow. It wasn’t long before his hand wrapped around her arm, but she was read.

The young woman had grabbed a lamp that seemed brand new and untouched. She raised it and broke it across the man’s face.

She soon regretted it as the man turned his head back to her with a terrifying look as his the cut in his cheek healed back in her face.

“You’re in for you fuckin’ bitch,” Logan cusssed before he lunged at the girl, two hands wrapping around her neck as he slammed her against the wall. The wind was knocked out of her.

Y/n cursed herself out in her mind, unlucky that she was completely naked and he was only in his boxers. If she had played along, maybe she could’ve snuck out. Or maybe she’d just stay. He’d come for her again, anyhow. She was fucked either way.

“Wanted to treat you like my little princess, but sometimes pretty girls like you needa be stooped down to a slut,”

Logan lifted the girl up and threw her from the wall to the bed. She flew across the room, shocked when she hit the mattress, but before she could process the fact he threw her like a baseball, the man lunged over her.

Logan waisted no time bite at y/n’s neck. She cried in pain, but she knew she was fucked when her head became light from the instant rush of lust.

“Mhm,” the man growled in her neck as he pulled his boxers down. Y/n pushed at the man’s thighs, begging for him to let her go, or maybe even take it easy on her, but he didn’t want to listen.

“Whores don’t get what they want,” the man whispered in the girls ear like some game, before he plunged into her, stretching her in an instant and violating her walls.

The girl cried loudly, feeling him deeper than when he fucked her over the bar counter. This man was a an animal, a fucking beast the way he bullied through her.

“Nah uh, you shut the fuck up! Fuckin’ callin’ the police on me and breaking lamps over my fuckin’ head. You’ve gotten on my last nerve tonight, y/n. Last fuckin’ nerve,” Logan’s hips snapped hard.

“P-Please, Logan — I-I’m sorry,” she cried out, regretting it all. She knew the cops were going to be no help, she knew that damn lamp wouldn’t do shit to Logan, and she knew she was so close to cumming dumb around his cock.

“Oh, really, baby? Well, you’re gonna have to show me how much you’re sorry to deal with me tonight,” Logan gave y/n a chance, but she barely wanted to take it, but she couldn’t lie anymore.

All the crying, all the trying to get away — It made no sense when the young woman knew she was going to fall apart on the man.

“S-So sorry,” y/n’s hands gripped the man’s shoulders. “S-So fucking sorry,” she cried as his teeth pushed at her neck, making sure to leave something, rather people would see it or not.

“So fuckin’ sorry, princess? You’re so sorry?” The man mocked as her head fell back. Logan looked down at the woman, watching her mouth part and eyes switch. He couldn’t help but chuckle at how fast she fell apart.

“So fuckin’ easy. I can impress this cunt in less than twelve hours,” Logan’s lips now grazed against hers. She chocked in her moans as her body stiffened. “Yeah,” Logan repeated in a low deep voice, feeling her juice soak into his mattress.

“That’s my girl — So damn good lookin’ when she goes dumb,” y/n finally cried out, feeling his thrusts get faster. “L-Logan,” the girl softly placed her hands around his neck to pull him closer.

Her mind was forced to forget every red flag about him. The way he fucked into her, made her clueless. She couldn’t understand how dangerous he was, knowing he fucked like this. She couldn’t deny how much she loved being used by an animal.

“Gonna fill this cunt up, and give you another chance to relax tonight,” the man said through his teeth as he felt his cock twitch.

Y/n never thought the man that got drunk everyday would be deep in her system one day. He was always out of it. She thought the man wouldn’t even be able to recognize her, but she was wrong.

Logan was a mutant, and the downfalls of being a good person, is y/n forgetting all about that. Forgetting that the alcohol doesn’t blind him from beauty. Forgetting he’s capable being a bad guy. Forgetting he’s capable of breeding her until she can’t carry anymore.

“F-Fuuuck,” the man buried his face in her neck as his hips rolled, stroking against the right spot, but she couldn’t react. She felt unconscious, but she was still there. She was high off of his cock.

“My fuckin’ slut,” was all her throbbing cunt could think of throughout the night as he pulled her into his hair sweaty body.

ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ

[spiderdollie]

Imagine! König finding your personal journal, and wanting to help you.

────୨ৎ────

♡ You buy a journal, finally deciding to write down all of the thoughts you’ve been struggling with

♡ Each morning you scribble in it while you drink coffee. Writing little affirmations to get yourself through the day.

♡ You’re terrified when you lose it. Knowing exactly how much you wrote in there. But find solace in the fact that people might not realize it’s yours

♡ Little do you know, König finds it.

♡ He’d watched you scribble in it every morning, wondering what was going on in that little head of yours.

♡ Initially, he was just going to return it to you. But when he brought it home, he just couldn’t help himself.

♡ He read over every entry. Every sad little word and every hope for the future.

♡ He finds himself wanting to be the answer to all of your problems.

♡ He gets you to open up to him, and listens to you over coffee, leaning in at every detail.

♡ Taking inspiration from your affirmations and entries, he tells you what he knows you need to hear.

♡ Call it kindness (or maybe a little manipulation), but he uses your journal as a guidebook, working himself closer and closer to you.

♡ Even as you fall for him, he never tells you he found the journal, or even bothers to return it to you. You won’t be needing it anymore anyway.

First post on this account! It’s 4 am and I haven’t written anything in a while so I’m a little rusty.

(╥﹏╥)

But I’m so excited for the future of this blog ♡

[starry-bi-sky]

"Stillborn? No, still born" Danyal au -- VLAD MASTERS THE BITCH HIMSELF

*Points at Vlad* THIS MFER GOT SOME TEEFS TO HIM. !! Okay okay, Vlad Masters in the stillborn au is different compared to most of my other aus in the fact that I am far more heavily leaning into his original ambitions of wanting a family and being desperately lonely. Because you know what wanting a family implies? Wanting to be a parent.

Fucked up father figure that could've been Vlad. Complicated love-hate relationship between the only two halfas in existence.

Danny hates Vlad, but he hates even more that he's genuinely considered his offers of mentorship. Vlad is the only halfa around, and they both have fire cores. Danny has these powers he doesn't understand, can barely comprehend some days, and can't control. But Vlad does. Vlad can. And Vlad wants to help him. He's the only other person who can get close whenever Danny runs too hot. Whenever his igneous hair cracks, splits, and spits back out into magma and his friends can't get close, Vlad can.

His hair is made of magma, which runs so hot that people need specialized suits in order to get near it. He physically cannot get close to the living as a ghost unless he's calm enough for his hair to cool into igneous rock. Which isn't as often as he would like. And sometimes he's too hot for other ghosts to get near unless they have fire cores -- which Vlad has.

There have been many times when Danny's having a meltdown (literally) and gone somewhere to be alone, to let his anger and hurt and loneliness overflow and spill out, that when he's come back to, Vlad's right there with him as an anchor. It's desperately frustrating, it's the only time they can get along. They don't say anything, Danny just turns and clings onto the only person he can touch as a ghost.

Its not fair. Vlad wants to kill his foster dad, and Danny can't let him do that. But he wants to be trained by the man, he wants his help and wants what he can offer. But Vlad can't step away from his revenge long enough to let him. It's just not fair. He thinks for a moment that maybe it could work, and then Vlad does something to remind him that no, it can't.

Vlad Masters sees too much of himself in Daniel Brown -- from the way he holds himself, to the defenses he puts up, his quiet anger that builds and builds and builds until it explodes. That simmers beneath his skin. All the way down to the fact that they have matching cores. This boy is cut from the same cloth as him, and by god does he want to help him. He's always wanted to be a father, and Daniel Brown is too much like him for him to ignore. He genuinely, truly cares about Danny and his wellbeing.

He wants to help him, child just let him help you. Let him kill your foster dad so he can adopt you himself and help with these powers that terrify and intrigue you -- he knows what that's like to have something that you can't control, to have a heat that you can't cool down from. "We're in the same boat you and I, let him help you please."

But his methods are all wrong, and Danny is too much like him -- stubbornness and all -- for him to agree when they oppose each other so greatly. But again, Danny is much like him -- which means that Vlad is equally stubborn, and in every single one of their fights he's parental. He's annoyingly parental. He drops his interest in Maddie to focus his efforts in trying to coax Danny onto his side. It's like trying to get a traumatized cat to trust you, and on some levels it works. It's like he makes some progress, and then moves too quickly and the cat immediately runs off and you have to start back from square one.

TL:DR; Vlad and Danny both want to find family in each other but they're too different to get along and ultimately they are doomed by the narrative to be at constant odds with one another unless one of them is changes, and it doesn't matter who.

[drdemonprince]

The article regarding about annoying queer people sparked a by now long forgotten memory.

When I went to my first pride I snuck out secretly and thus was there after the parade. Most people were already some form of drunk or high(didn't know that at the time, I was 15 and naive beyond hope)

That was also the first time I saw puppies ever. In retrospect I must have stared and seemed like one of those annoying "no kink at pride" puriteens. They probably just wanted to allow themselves a small joke but what happened in praxis was, that a grown, white man in only puppy mask and boxers crawled up to me, stood up, started sniffing my breasts and when I started panicking and running away he run after me and everyone else watched and laughed. I think I screamed for help or cryed to please leave me be and was ignored but I can't remember much past the fear.

To them it was probably a small joke but to me it set me back for years. I didn't go to pride in that city ever again and took years to move past "no kink at pride" opinions, an opinion I didn't even have before that.

I felt incredibly isolated and wearing a small rainbow bracelet and cutting my hair took so much bravery. And it earned a lot of backlash too?

So often I see coloured hair and pins as this cutesy cringe thing of no consequence, but for me it resulted in hours upon of arguments and insults. It was worth it, because it helped me built my own identity apart from my families bigotry, but it sure wasn't fun or cutesy. Ultimately it led me to becoming brave enough to actually discover who I am and start making connections with the wider queer community.

Thankfully I had no social media accounts or I would have had some truly stupid arguments.

What I'm saying is, yes young queers can be annoying and it can be tiring to deal with them but being an asshole and vilifying them isn't the solution.

Making fun of teenagers doesn't make yourself more valid and doesn't give you the status of being an old experienced queer.

I'm saying teenagers here but the fun thing about queer people is that we can discover ourselves at any point in time. So it's less teenagers and more people newly discovering themselves as queer.

I get how annoying they can be very well now, doing voluntary work at pride does that.

Do many of those we consider annoying queers hold some harmful opinions? Yeah sure. (The amount of white queers, teens or adults, not dealing with systemic oppression beyond their own is staggering and they more than deserve to be called out. Just to be very clear, when I talk about annoying behaviour I do NOT mean microagressions or discrimination in any way)

But annoying behaviour is not synonymous to that and maybe we should all just start being less mean in public spaces? I get how satisfying it can be to get a hit tweet via a bitchy twitter reply now, but quite honestly I am more ashamed of that now than when I was running around in hoodies and short hair being painfully naive.

Because then I wasn't being mean to anyone. I had some stupid takes sure but no outlet. On twitter I was making fun of people to validate my own queer-ness. (Personally I think I was covering up for the fact that I was afraid the queer people I worked so hard to be part of wouldn't consider me one of their own. So I worked hard to show how I'm not one of "those queers".)

Either way, thanks for reading all this and thank you for sharing the article because it is something I strongly agree with. Just let people be annoying without making fun of them for it. It doesn't need to be a big deal.

Thank you for this wonderful, vulnerable, honest message about your slow path to self-acceptance in the face of a lot of barriers, anon. I'm glad that despite everything you've found your way.

Yeah, I think queer people have many reasons to feel terrified at the rising "no kink at pride" discourse, but sometimes when we lash out at puriteens we sound a bit like the childfree people who say that they hate kids?? Like, we're blaming literal children for an ideology of protecting "The Family" that has been foisted upon us.

I'm guilty of it. I was HAUNTED by the social pressure to get married and pregnant and raise a bunch of kids. It caused me massive dysphoria and didn't jibe with my queer identity. But I rebelled against it for far too long by saying that I hated kids.

It was not the kids' fault! It was the ideological specter of The Family as an institution that isolates and attacks all nonconformity and 'deviant' sexuality! Me being an asshole to children was not gonna set me free, kids were even more disinfranchised than I was!! I don't think I was ever overtly cruel to children, just kind of aloof and freaked out by them, but I definitely *did* say some numbskulled shit to my friends with kids a few times. Completely missing how disempowered mothers (and it was usually mothers) are in society BECAUSE of these same forces .

And I think something similar is going on here. Queer people are tired of having "Family Friendliness" shoved down our throats by corporations and conservatives, and so then we lash out... at young queer people. it's fine to have 18+ areas and events; It's very, very important to me that spaces like Furfest have them. But that's not the same thing as claiming young people have no space in our community as a whole. And I do think we need to erode the barriers between the adult and child worlds in a whole lot of ways, and reorient our attitudes toward nudity, sexuality, roleplaying, etc in public life. but that also doesn't mean a pup should run you out of a pride parade actually fucking sexually harassing you.

It feels great to be able to talk about this stuff! Thanks for your message.

[theemporium]

Remus x Slytherin!Reader?

“You’re short enough to have to go onto your tippy toes to kiss me.” “I’m short enough to elbow you directly in the gut, with ease.”

kinda in love with this dynamic🤠thank you for requesting!🖤

.

“Need help with that, love?”

“I’ll give you a chance to keep your mouth shut, Lupin.”

“Now, sweetheart, that’s no way to talk when someone is offering you help.” 

You scared people. There was no way of beating around the bush or sugar-coating the simple fact that you terrified people. It wasn’t that you went out of your way to seem so tempestuous or feisty, it was simply the way you were and you didn’t hide it. 

Add in the fact the tie colour you wore was green and silver, and the fact you made your opinions very clear when you disagreed with somebody, you weren’t the most approachable person at Hogwarts. 

So, you could imagine the shock of the students and professors alike when they found Remus Lupin—one of the beloved marauders and charming souls in the school—seated beside you at breakfast one morning, arm thrown over your shoulder as you let him feed you pieces of fruit as you read. 

You were an unusual couple to most people but they didn’t understand, and you didn’t care if they ever understood. Remus could handle you. He could handle your mood swings and your sarcasm and your cold persona. He could read you like an open book, and he liked to joke that was how he got you. 

But he also knew how to wind you up, and as a marauder at heart, he would take the chance whenever he got it. 

He knew you had been working on a project in one of the empty potions classrooms down in the dungeons and had decided to bring you some food (knowing that you had probably forgotten). However, much to his great amusement, he found you kneeling on a desk to try to reach the top shelf of ingredients to grab one of the jars. 

“Just let me help you—”

“Bite me,” you snapped at him, glaring at him over your shoulder when you noticed he started walking closer to you. 

“I seem to remember that you like that,” he purred, a hint of smirk on his lips as your glare darkened. 

“Cocky bastard,” you grumbled before you turned back to the job in front of you, your fingertips brushing the edge of the jar that was stuffed at the back of the shelf by someone who you deeply hated.

“Your cocky bastard,” he corrected.

“Still a—” you paused when you felt a warm hand on your waist, and watched another hand enter your vision as he easily reached for the jar and grabbed ahold of it before placing it down beside your cauldron. You turned to him, eyes narrowed. “I said I didn’t need help.” 

“You were going to hurt yourself up there, love,” he said in a knowing tone that you hated and loved all at once. 

“You don’t always have to show off how freakishly tall you are,” you grumbled as you climbed down from the desk.

“Or maybe you’re just short, darling,” he said with an innocent smile.

“I’m not short, I am perfectly average,” you retorted, arms crossed over your chest as Remus moved closer to you, towering over you like the smug bastard he was. 

“You’re short enough to have to go on your tiptoes to kiss me,” he teased, his arms winding around your waist to lock you against him.

“Then I’m also short enough to elbow you in the gut with ease,” you countered as you slid away from his grasp, lips twitching at the huff of frustration he let out. “Short enough to keep away from you too.”

“Not that you’d want to,” he said as he slid his arms around your waist, his body pressed against your back as he began to nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck. “Take a break.”

“I have work to do,” you stated simply as he began to kiss along your neck. “And I don’t need some jolly giant bothering me.”

“Jolly giant,” he repeated with a chuckle. “Creative, darling, I like that one.”

You bit back your smile. “Thought you would, Lupin.”

.

[auspicioustidings]

Kinktober Day 29

Moniker: N/A Risk Level: N/A Brief: N/A Safeword: Refer to first brief. The residents have agreed you need your own space. They’ve never agreed on anything before - Laswell

Well this was terrifying. The current residents were Ghost, Mace, Nikto, König, Velikan, Valeria and at least temporarily Gaz (Nova’s day had cleared her to be released you had been told). Being in a room with all of them was overwhelming, especially when most of them were currently arguing on the best colour for your new “nest”.

“My money’s on Val” Mace said, taking up residence on your right side and watching the devolving argument.

“I dunno, I reckon Ghost will take Gaz’s side” you replied, relaxing a little now that you had another person who wasn’t getting wildly heated about the number of windows in all of the rooms.

“You in the bet?” Mace asked Velikan who had been standing on your left from when you came in and hadn’t made any move to get involved in what was going on.

They always seemed to be by your side when you were alone in the Kennel, a silent protector even now in this room full of people. They just gave your head a pat and Mace laughed.

“Not wrong. Doesn’t matter who wins, they’re going to fold for her no matter what she asks for.”

“Now if only that worked with you.”

“Don’t think I’d fold for you sweet thing?”

You looked at him and raised an eyebrow. Him? You couldn’t very well see Mace folding for anyone. Maybe Ghost, but you imagined rather than the affectionate giving in it would be more akin to the fucking thunderdome.

“I could sneak into your bedroom at night when nobody is watching” he said.

“But you don’t.”

“But I don’t. Not yet anyway.”

You stared at him, the argument fading into the background. What a strange way for him to admit that maybe he cared about you just a little, the fact that he only touched you when there was someone there to stop him from tearing you apart. It was probably as much an admission of fondness as you could ever expect from him, so you slipped your hand into his and squeezed, your cheeks a little sore from the dumb smile on your face as you put your attention back on the argument happening.

“Needy bitch” he said with a smug grin, but he didn’t let go of your hand.

Fuck, what a thing to find romantic.

It was strange to have the fog of the last few days lifted, almost like you had stumbled out and suddenly the sun was right there. You still felt a little all over the place, so you had been relieved when the brief seemed to suggest that wasn't a scene of sorts today. Just a hangout with the devils favourite psychopaths.

“Ay, stop hogging the little lamb Mace!” Valeria snapped, looking around for you to confirm that she was obviously correct about going for a warm colour palette.

She marched over, confident smile that made your knees week painted on, and grabbed your chin to tilt your face for her appraisal. She tutted, disappointed.

“All healed up. Shame, your skin was pretty all swollen. Maybe I am coming around to a dark colour palette, we could match that deep purple I put on your face.”

That got Nikto and Ghost’s attention, the former not even hiding how his cock was starting to swell up in his pants and the latter conspicuously rubbing at his ribcage right where you knew that healing brand was. No wonder Rudy had reacted the way he had to your body the other day, it was covered in the healing claims of nearly everyone in this room.

“I can see your nipples getting hard” Mace teased, bringing your hand that was still in his up to brush your chest.

Everybody was staring at you now and you were pretty sure this much attention from a group of government sanctioned serial killers might actually cause your heart to give out.

“There wasn’t anything in the brief” you said, cringing at how tentative and unsure you sounded.

Your eyes landed on Gaz and you gave him a look that you were pretty sure said ‘sos, gonna melt into the ground, was not warned I might be getting either murdered, maimed, gang banged or all three at the same time today’.

He came over, hands gesturing in a shoo motion. Valeria rolled her eyes and let you go to step aside. Velikan stayed where they were, but they weren’t getting in Gaz’s way. Mace, however, squeezed your tit.

“How’d it feel cuddling up knowing her poor cunt was all shredded up by my cock?”

Goddamnit. You shouldn’t have really been surprised when Mace laughed as Velikan swiftly grabbed you and moved you out of the way so Gaz could punch him. Only König (who did indeed look like he had gotten a fist to the face the other day) beat him to it, barreling past and tackling Mace to the ground where it descended into a wrestling match between the two.

Children. They were fucking children. And they were regularly given carte blanche with guns and bombs and who knows what else. Although as you thought about it, you were given the access and tools needed to absolutely destroy people’s lives from behind a computer and you weren’t much better these days.

You wound up picking out colours and textures from samples with Nikto’s teeth almost gently resting on your shoulder on one side and Ghost with his hand on your lower back on the other. When you had picked, rather than being allowed to actually help, you were more or less imprisoned in the kitchen and no matter how much you whined and raged Gaz and Velikan made you stay put and relax.

You didn’t ask. They must have noticed even if they said nothing about it. You didn’t ask why they were making you a ‘nest’, a little safe space that nobody was allowed in but you. You didn’t ask what the point of it was when tomorrow was your last day. You just… didn’t ask.

Instead you watched the two of them play cards, although it was more Gaz being absolutely massacred at cards, and drank copious amounts of tea. You spoke with him about football for a bit too, finding he was pretty passionate about it. You weren’t super into it, just mentioning you supported your home team which he had scoffed at. Apparently you were supposed to be rivals.

Velikan seemed pretty disinterested in the football chat but did perk up when you mentioned American football, not a sport you knew anything about but you had been chatting away about who called it soccer in the Kennel and how Price always lost his mind about it.

Just in time Mace popped his head in and was only to happy to opine of the superiority of American football as Gaz argued back. You were pretty happy falling into step with Velikan behind them as you were led to this alleged ‘nest’.

How it didn’t reek of paint was a mystery, because my God they had went all in. It was perfect. Moody without being morose, airy without feeling exposed, just a comfortable space you wanted to sit and read in for the next month. Birds must be onto something, because there was a huge round bed absolutely bundled with blankets and it looked amazing.

It wasn’t just a space to relax though, it was kitted out as a little apartment with a charming kitchenette and an en-suite with a claw foot bath you just knew in your gut was eye-wateringly expensive.

This hadn’t been done in a day.

“Want me to fuck you into those nice blankets princess?” Ghost asked and you turned to find him and the others in varying levels of smugness over your reaction.

“Hm. ‘They’ve agreed you need your own space’. That’s what it said right?” you asked, yeah maybe playing coy a little bit because you were fairly confident that if one of them decided they were going to do something the others would stop them.

Ghost smiled at you, looking almost… proud maybe? Like your stunning and frankly stupid lack of self preservation that was having you so comfortable in the company of monsters was a good thing.

“Rules are nobody is allowed in but you” Gaz said as the others left.

You narrowed your eyes because the looks you got as they did meant they definitely knew something you didn’t.

“You’re up to something” you said, not managing to be stern as you bounced onto the big nest of a bed and luxuriated in how you sunk into plush softness.

“Me?” he gasped, a hand clutched to his chest. “I’m wounded luv! I’ve never done a thing wrong in my life.”

“Uh huh.”

“I’m deploying tomorrow.”

You felt like your heart had sunk right through your chest and into the blankets.

“I-oh.”

“You look sad.”

“I am.”

“Oh?”

“You’re a dick. I just didn’t realise this was the last time I’d see you. Is anyone else going with you?”

“Soap’s with me, think we might be taking Velikan as backup.”

You wanted to pull him into this nest and spend the night committing his body to memory, committing his face and his laugh and his sense of humour to memory. He put one knee on the bed and leaned over to give you a kiss that was so full of affection that it made you want to cry.

“I’ll be fine luv. Remember, nobody is allowed in your nest. Be good.”

You grabbed him and pulled him into a hug before he could leave, squeezing the life out of him which he returned. And then he was gone and you were sat not knowing how you felt in this beautiful room that had been put together just for you.

But you couldn’t fucking stay. The man that had just kissed you is the same one who had nearly torn your ass apart. The man going with him was the same one who had put a hand to your mouth and would have given you no option to protest as he had his way with you. Torture, murder, taboo, dehumanisation, violence - they were all things you had been fucked to the tune of this month. If you stayed, what did you become?

It didn’t stop you from letting Soap sneak into your off limits nest in the middle of the night, Ghost like a shadow slipping in behind him and seemingly melting into the wall. It didn’t stop you from letting him make love to you like he would a lover before leaving for the war.

You couldn’t stay.

[kavehater]

Man I wish I could feel bad enough for even talking so I just don’t yap too much it just feels embarrassing a lot of the time

My brother just called me an unskippable NPC 😭

[kazumiwrites-fanfiction]

You Can't Swim??

SUMMARY: The Octotrio don't know that you have never learned to swim. And you went to a beach. What could go wrong? WORD COUNT: 1.9k (I need to sleep)

WARNINGS: Floyd almost let you drown, reader kind of gets panic attacks? Idk (I'm the writer I should know, someone hit me), reader thinks about whacking Floyd, Azul is genuinely in love, Azul is also very traumatized I think, Azul overthinks A/N: Gotta love how I have no warnings about Jade I- Gotta love getting a fic idea about me being unable to swim- And I've had this thought swimming (lol) in my thoughts for a couple of days?? Idk if reader is the significant other of these guys or just besties. I think it leans toward s/o though This reads like a crack fic to me but honestly make sure you know how to swim so you don't die (i don't but that's not the point here) Maybe OOC Jade because he hides himself too well for me to get an accurate read on personality lmfao When Jade is genuinely sweet but the others are unhinged so naturally the unhinged ones are longer- I'm sorry I get no decent ideas for Jade </3 Another late late night post (it's 1:50 AM)

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

You had never learned to swim. It wasn't that you were afraid, really. It was just that you had passed the age where people normally learned, and now you were too lazy to and/or didn't have enough time. Whatever excuse to stop a nagging person.

Now, this wouldn't have been a problem if you never went anywhere near bodies of water. Which you mostly didn't. However, knowing merfolk was not the best idea if you didn't know how to swim.

Now you have gone to the beach with him, and that probably wasn't the best idea for either of you.

Floyd Leech

You had been sitting on the beach near the water, absently looking over some shells as Floyd splashed around deeper in the ocean. The shells really were interesting - nothing like the ones where you had come from (although they had some similarities) and were colorful. So many shapes and varieties, although most were not intact.

You had been so engrossed in this, in fact, that you hadn't realized Floyd had been sneaking up on you. Before you could say another word, he playfully dragged you into the water. While you were fully clothed.

You weren't expecting to go into the water, but you should've known better with Floyd. He was playful and loved to do stuff like this. Usually if Azul was around, he'd have done something… But he wasn't here.

Before you knew it, you were deeper in the ocean than you ever had been before, courtesy to the teal-haired boy swimming and dragging you along. You flailed around a bit, eyes wide in panic. You were, quite honestly, terrified. And it obviously didn't help when Floyd just immediately let you go.

Was he an idiot or was he an idiot?

"Floyd-" You got out before coughing as water shot up your nose, still flailing miserably. It didn't work. You didn't know what to do. Surely, Floyd would help… If he realized what was going on. No matter what you thought, he was bright, wasn't he?

Not bright enough, it seemed, as he was still laughing and not realizing how actually panicked you were.

"Koebi-chan, you look so ridiculous like that," he laughed, almost in hysterics, and you would've smacked him if you weren't so close to actually dying.

And then you sunk.

Your desperate attempts to go to the surface were pointless as you didn't even know how to float or move around in the water.

After a few seconds, Floyd finally noticed you were gone and quickly dove under the surface. Maybe you were trying to get him back?

But his gaze immediately widened as he saw you literally sinking to the ocean floor. His eel tail moved quickly, almost without thinking as he shot to grab you and take you up, up, up so you could actually breathe.

When you came to, you were on the sandy beach again, Floyd leaning over you. His eyes, normally filled with a joking light, were unusually subdued.

"Koebi-chan, why didn't you tell me you couldn't swim?" A pout grew on Floyd's face. "If I knew, I wouldn't have-"

"Yes you would have. We would still be here, just having a different conversation."

"But-"

"No buts."

"I would've made it more fun-"

"Drowning in the ocean is the opposite of fun, Floyd-"

~Bonus because I don't know how to fit one into the story~ "I can teach you how to swim. You just go whoo and let your body move. Y'know. Like dancing." "No, I don't know, Floyd, and this is not going to help me with anything-"

Jade Leech

Jade had been spending his time on the beach with you, but you were almost certain that he wanted to be swimming in the ocean. It was his natural element, after all.

"Jade, you sure you don't want to go in the water?"

"I'm fine staying here with you, [Y/N]." He gave you a soft smile.

You shook your head. "We've come all the way here, you might as well go swim." You gave him a gentle nudge.

"Well, I'd like you to come with me, if that is possible?" He watched you quietly. "You never go swimming with me."

You paused. Although it was sweet that he wanted you to go with him… "No, I don't think so…" You trailed off. You never liked telling people that you couldn't swim. At this point, it was embarrassing.

The pair of heterochromia eyes staring at you only left you feeling more jittery. "…I, er… I can't swim. So going into the ocean with you sounds kind of like… A bad idea." You froze. "Did you use your Signature Spell on me?"

"Of course not, [Y/N]." Jade stared at you with eyes of hurt, one that looked almost identical to that of his twin's. Only, it was almost obvious that Jade didn't mean the hurt in his eyes. "You just trust me enough to say things to me."

You couldn't deny the truth there. You trusted Jade. "And you wouldn't use your Signature Spell on something so trivial, would you?"

"No, I would not." He shrugged. "On a different note, I can help you learn how to swim."

"I really don't need it-"

"What if someone tries to hurt you one day and they know your weakness?"

"Why would-"

"It's an example, [Y/N]. But if that person decides to do that, you wouldn't be able to do anything. So I should help you in case that scenario occurs."

You sighed softly. "Fine, I guess I can take lessons from you… If it's not too much of a hassle."

"Of course it would not be a hassle or anything of the sort." Jade inclined his head. "All to help you stay safe."

The day went on with Jade helping you learn the basics of swimming - he was a good teacher, which you were happy about. He was patient, and always was there if you ever started to panic.

"We wouldn't want you getting scared of the ocean now, would we?"

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul had gotten used to you after a couple months. Sure, he hadn't opened up to many people in a while (only Floyd and Jade, but they also teased him constantly about everything, so), but you were soothing and nice. Sure, you teased him sometimes, but it was different. It didn't feel mean, you stopped as soon as you noticed him looking a little uncomfortable, and… He honestly felt like he could open up about anything.

So when it was decided that you two were going to the beach - together - alone? It kind of made him very messed up.

Would you like being at the beach with him? He wasn't completely against showing his octopus form… Would you want him to swim with you? Was he even ready for that?

Those thoughts led him down a spiral, and the day you two were to go, he had bags under his eyes and looked like he was half-dead.

You gently nudged him, murmuring how he should've tried to get more sleep for this day supposedly filled with fun, but he just shrugged.

Soon, you were at the beach, and as Azul saw your smiling face, his gaze softened a little. He loved seeing your happy face.

"C'mon!" You grabbed Azul's hand as you started to run to the water, ignoring his surprised stumbling as he was dragged along. He had a light flush on his cheeks that he was glad you couldn't see.

Soon, you had reached the edge of the water, splashing around in your sandals. It was really fun, even though you knew that you were going to be getting sand in your toes later on.

Azul just kind of watched on, a relaxed expression on his face. This really was soothing… Although he was still thinking about if the Mostro Lounge would be okay with him gone. Surely Jade would do something if Floyd got into trouble… Hopefully. And hopefully, no more dishes would break.

"What are you looking so glum for?" Your voice brought him back to his senses.

"Nothing, just hoping that Jade and Floyd can take care of things at the Mostro Lounge." He sighed softly.

"Oh, I'm sure they'll be fine. Jade's there, right?"

"He can cause as much trouble as Floyd, you know. Although he won't be outright about it." Azul shook his head, a small frown on his face.

"C'mon, turn that frown upside down." You moved closer to him, gently squishing his cheeks. "Today is for having fun, Azul."

"Yes, yes, I know." Azul couldn't help himself; he let out a soft laugh. A genuine one.

You smiled brightly. "You aren't charging me for hearing your little cute laugh?"

"I will charge you if you call it cute."

"Of course you will." You rolled your eyes before abruptly changing the subject. "So are you not going to swim?"

Azul paused. Did you want him to swim? To see his true form? There was an even chance. What should his answer be? "Er… I don't know?"

"Of course you don't have to, Azul, I just thought… I mean, there's no one around." You shrugged a little.

And now more pressure on Azul. Great. He was used to dealing with pressure, yes. Just not this kind from you. "Er… Would you come swim with me?" If you were with him, then maybe…

"No." Your lips parted, maybe to offer an explanation, but it was too late.

Azul was in a downward spiral. Why had you said no? Perhaps octopi merfolk were really too much. Perhaps you would rather be with someone with a pretty tailfin than tentacles. Or maybe a human, one of your own kind. Who said that you even liked him at all? Perhaps you were only with him out of pity, because he was that useless, chubby, good-for-nothing-

"Azul? Azul, are you listening to me?"

He snapped back to attention.

"Seriously, are you okay? Did you seriously get enough sleep last night?" You sighed.

"That's none of your-"

"It is if you're literally zoning out every five seconds." You rolled your eyes. "And anyway, I was just saying that I kind of can't go deeper into the ocean where you probably feel comfortable swimming. Because I can't swim." You shrugged nonchalantly.

But for Azul, it felt like a figurative bomb had been dropped.

You? Couldn't swim? Now that he thought about it, it did make sense… How you always looked so awkward and uncomfortable with water, especially when you came to the Octavinelle dorm. But seriously? How could you not know how to swim?

"Is not knowing how to swim… Normal?"

"Definitely not." You rolled your eyes. "But I'm just too lazy to learn now. And I have no time."

"You do if you have time to scroll on Magicam." Finally, Azul felt a bit better. At least you didn't hate him.

"And this time, I'll teach you how to swim. I'll even do it free of charge." Azul shook his head. "Seeing as I'm so generous."

"You sound like headmage Crowley."

"Do be quiet."

Azul was a pretty good teacher. He ended up not turning into his octopus form until nearly the end of the day, you were practicing your swimming and then just playing around on the sand, building sand castles, anything that you might do at a normal beach outing.

His octopus form was beautiful (as expected), and although you couldn't go to deeper waters, you enjoyed seeing him swim around, always eventually coming back to you.

"Today was truly relaxing, [Y/N]. We should do this again another time."

As always, reblogs and comments are always appreciated! ♡ Send your thoughts grr

Feel free to send requests! Check out this post for info ^^

[hazelfoureyes]

Sending in anon because I'm a coward... 😩

I'm a new reader, and I just have to say-- your "a doe in fall" series is just... AMAZING!!

I could go on, and on and on about how much I love it. But what gets me the most is always Alastor's dialogue, because as someone who is also on the aro/ace spectrum, I just get it so much. Especially the subtle hoping that reader can like... Read his mind about how he feels for her, and the weird sort of stockholm syndrome we sometimes develop with ourselves after being alone with only our own company for so long, and it really is, lol, like you just get so used to being alone for so long because you know the idea people have of you, you can't truly live up to, so you don't want to "disappoint" them that you actually aren't like they are, so you just sorta... Keep them occupied at arms length-- Therefore you're forced to adapt to your company being the only love you have for a long time. it's like an obligation.

And when or if the special somebody who understands you comes along, you realize... "Wow, I've been living like this for so long, is this what it feels like to be loved and appreciated, in spite of my oddities, or maybe even in favor of them? Strange..."

Emphasis on the "strange" part because, when you're so deeply entrenched in your own soul, sharing your space for another almost feels more like learning how to swim rather than an instant "click", sparks, fireworks and whatnot. The excitement of the magical "other" has been long since drowned and snuffed out of you.

So, when this somebody who is similar to you, or just simply understands, doesn't try to change you or ignore you, but instead envelopes you and adores you, the appreciation is deep and overflowing. But there's a part of you always pinching your heart, a sort of awareness of something that isn't the case, wondering "Is this a dream? what if it is and I'll wake up and this is not at all what I was thinking?".

Haha... ANYWAY, sorry for the slightly morose and LONG read 😂 But I always think of how similar I am to how you write alastor and it's scary in a way, but comforting (especially since he's my first and biggest fictional crush) except in this case my profession would actually be burlesque. Especially since I work in the exotic dance world. It's fascinating being aro/ace in the SW world, I could go on forever- But yeah, I absolutely love your writing!! Makes me feel less alone in this world. Annnd surprisingly I always feel so sensual after reading, I love love love it!! Reading before work always gets me in the mood to dance and pretend I'm Y/N, lol!!

Much blessings ❤️❤️

*cracks knuckles* listen here babycakes, I eat this shit UP. Exploring Human Ace Alastor is my BREAD AND BUTTER. I go into ESSAYS in the AO3 comments in this 😂

you really understand, which makes me so happy and is confirmation I’m conveying him the way I want to.

Now I’m gonna ramble and echo you basically 😂

I really think Alastor (atleast in this story) feels that excitement and strangeness of how open he can be around Autumn (since she doesn’t have a proper name cuz she’s reader 😂). He’s a fish out of water despite the fact he’s actually being his most authentic self. Like you said, it’s new to him just to be … Alastor. To be honest and upfront. His normal operating mode has been so restricted for so long he’s struggling with how to be himself. And then that fear—- well what if I’m too much? What if I ruin this, when I finally have something worth keeping? He’s never gotten this far and the fear of losing that comfort is terrifying but so is the actual comfort itself. It’s new and foreign.

A deep uneasiness that’s if he fully embraces this he’s gonna just fuck it up and it’ll be his fault this time. Not a misunderstanding or misalignment of needs but a confirmation he wasn’t good enough anyway.

“it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all” he would say that’s bullshit

and because of the situations he’s been in before, he’s never gotten to actually explore physical intimacy in a “safe” environment. He was always going into interactions because he had to if he wanted to keep people around. It was a necessity, not something he actually sincerely wanted to participate. So he tried to keep them happy with other means of affection and intimacy to maintain some safe distance but eventually, always, things would fall apart. At a distance or up close.

that’s why that most recent part was called Learning. Alastor is trying new things to learn more about what he’s okay with or doesn’t care for even offering in the future. Autumn is learning (that night, tho she doesn’t understand it yet) that he’s still figuring out how to meet her halfway (even tho she’s not even asking for that) when he’s used to being forced to meet people where they are. And Detective Brady, of course, is learning he may have found motive for Tommy’s disappearance.

I’m really glad you’re enjoying his portrayal and that you’re resonating with parts of him! That makes my soul hum! 💖 your line of work mixed with your Aro/Ace-ness sounds like such an interesting conversation if we’re honest! That’s a small aspect I love about Autumn. She’s in this field that’s (wrongly) considered to be hyper sexual and full of air headed wanton whores, but she’s the first person to be like “oh! You aren't into this stuff. Let me adjust my expectations. I’ll ask for clear verbal consent, not initiate, and I’m totally okay with never fucking again if it’s for your love and company.”

I work in the SW industry in a sense (Personal Assistant) and one of my biggest pet peeves is all of the shit people project on SWers.

sorry for the essay I could talk about this for ETERNITY

omg and THANK YOU! 🥺💖💖💖💖

Referencing:

A Doe in Fall (Human Alastor x Burlesquer Fem Reader)

Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦

[goodolddumbbanana]

Nexus to Moon: dramatic, mysterious, evil.

He is the monster. He forced me kneel, he hurts me, he makes me relived of all my mistakes. I couldn't fight him and the worst of it..... I. Scared. Of. Him.

Nexus to Sun: Bitch wants me to work for him and gets mad when I say no. Also... Cringe.

I am sorry but, has anyone felt a really drastically shift tones between Moon and Sun when they interact with Nexus?

Like Nexus really wants to hurt Moon, badly. He does not hesitate to cram his hands inside Moon's head, and mocks Moon for everything he did. It was intense, and we can feel it is Nexus the one who is in the control. And that Moon will not do or can try anything.

Also Moon gets kneel down and tortured pretty quick after that. Also he seems very scared of Nexus after each time he interacted with Nexus.

But Sun... I don't know man... I think I had made Nexus cooler in my head.

He is just so cringe. (THE GOD thingy makes me die a little bit whenever I hear him screaming that name)

I couldn't see the monster who hurt Moon with the way he was chasing Sun around and Sun just kept running like it is no ends tomorrow.

(Lmao dude just straight up pulling Naruto run on Nexus, really reminds me back then, of the times when Sun doing something stupid and Nexus just angrily yelling ran after him.)

And even when he had Sun at the corner, he couldn't say anything 'emotional damage' to Sun.

"What ... Are you insane?!"

"Yeah. I thought it was pretty obvious."

And baby girl is so obsessed with the fact he is no longer Moon, he thinks it is him who is still the one Sun calls for help. Which is sad and funny both at the same time.

Like we can feel a tiny small hesitant in Nexus's voice when Sun keeps saying 'Moon', like he thought Sun wants him to stop.

And how the issue gets dragged on the surface. Sun always feels like he couldn't help Nexus and Nexus also feels like he couldn't let Sun help him. (Because the same old story, Sun got hurt and kidnapped whenever he came with Nexus.)

"So now I have value for you?"

"Yeah, for once in your miserable life, you have value."

It is sad when they come back at each other like this. Especially when Nexus always says that he needs Sun back in the day.

"You had friends, you had a family. They love you."

Sun loves him. He still loves Nexus. He didn't want Nexus dead is one thing, but he seems so worried about Nexus (accidentally calling him Moon when seeing him got shot) and tries to make Monty stop shooting. Even after Nexus runway, Sun - the one who gets so infected by Negative Star power, still wants to know if Nexus is okay.

And when he was back at home, he wasn't even scared of Nexus, not like how he used to be terrified of Eclipse or Killcode or even when he interacts with Dark Sun. He seems just pissed and done at himself, and not even with Nexus.

"I didn't have friends. I was a replacement."

Nexus didn't consider Monty his friend. I mean it is totally understandable, especially when they hijacked his head before. But replacement... Really? Sure maybe at first with Sun, but what about Earth? She didn't know jack about you?

"Maybe at first, but I liked you."

Haha... Remember when Nexus said he was very appreciative of how Sun loved him more than Moon? Haha... Good times ...

"oh my..., cuz I was nicer to you."

"because you are nice."

"because I didn't beat you.... Guess what Sunny, you are nothing but a tool for me..."

He throws away any good things he did for Sun. He burned all their memories, and saw himself as a monster. He tried to make himself a monster towards Sun, and when seeing it didn't work, because Sun doesn't care about how horrible he is now, he straight down Sun with the 'I don't care about you' attitude.

"You know what... You are not worse than Moon. Hell you are not even better..."

'You are just exactly like Moon. ' I think it is what Sun wants to say. They are both so stuck in their own minds, never wanting to hear what other people say, what people are trying to prove they are so much better than this.

"I am me! NONE OF YOU COULD REALISE, I AM MY OWN PERSON!!!"

"I tried."

"No you didn't. You USED me. And now I am going to use you."

"I am sorry."

His voice seems so small. He sounds so heartbroken when he says sorry to Nexus, like we can feel the thought process behind Sun. He truly thinks everything happened was his fault, it is Sun's fault leading Nexus to become like this.

"Your apologies don't mean anything to me."

And Nexus sounds so wanting to move one, to get done with his job, to stop talking about the past. It doesn't matter if Sun says sorry or not, because he doesn't care. He doesn't want to care.

And the term he used... Dragging Sun into his lab and plug he into the machine, to let him never do any of his own will ever again....

What does Nexus think Sun will do with his own will? Like what exactly can Sun do? Yapping at his ears until it bleeds? Sun doesn't have any manipulated skills at all, he is so straightforward and honest to actually harm Nexus from behind, like, Nexus just needs to highjack Sun's head like Moon.

From my perspective, I think there are a lot of methods to let Sun do as Nexus plead, but Nexus only wants to stop thinking about Sun. Like if he fully controlled over Sun, he will not have to think about how Sun is disappointed in him anymore, He will not have to think of Sun as a human being, as his ex brother, as someone still cares about him.

And when Sun says he will not do as Nexus says? Nexus sounds didn't surprise at all. They understand each other too well to know even Sun sometimes a coward, he will not give up like that for Nexus.

Also... Why did he not just threaten Moon? Or Dazzle? Or Jack? Just like how he mocks Solar?

Did he not want his older brother to think of him lower?

"...I have you kneel at me, right ? So look at your superior being."

The way Nexus said that, it makes me feel sad. Like, Nexus so wants to cut off Sun, to make Sun think of him as a monster, to hurt Sun not even in the way it matters.

He still couldn't hit Sun at his lowest, I mean, back then, Old Moon even worse with Sun both emotionally and physically back in the days.

Even after so much nonsense craps, Sun still unharmed. He tortured Moon, he mocked Solar, but Sun.... There is no win in this fight.

Their fighting still looks so much more than their so used banter before... I wish Nexus and Sun will be still brothers ;.;

Sidenote: I love that Ruin tries to convince Nexus to think more with his head but just ends up giving up like : oh right, screw you then, asshole.

Very baby girl behaviour of him.

[norlestappen]

Idea/Request/Me begging you

Tall!Model!Reader X Yuki Tsunoda. With reader being significantly taller than him (like 5'9) and just generally being a goddess.

And she's on the paddock being the biggest Yuki defender of all time and supporting him in whatever he does while being all cutesy about him. Like small man with anger issues and tall woman yelling "Go get 'em sweetie" in the background.

Please and thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Hello my bestie, here is your long awaited story, i decided to only put a bit in, maybe a part 2 if wanted "Yukinoooo, I am hungryy" / Yuki Tsunoda x tall!y/n

summary: you are joining your boyfriend Yuki in the paddock and you are just too much of a hot couple than anyone can ever handle Pairing: Yuki x y/n

warnings: too much cuteness, sadly no smut yet

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/n POV:

You would never get used to the fact your boyfriend was literally perfection. From his beautiful eyes to the way his Japanese would make you weak, just everything about him made you want to always kiss him, never letting him go. That was, of course, not always possible since you wouldn’t fit into the cockpit with him, you did on the other hand fit perfectly on his cock though. 

He would push you onto him, making you ride him until you were out of energy, just needing you as close as possible for as long as he could. He needed you so much, it might sound unhealthy to others, but for you two it just worked. 

Pierre made it his mission the entire flight to call you two out as you argued over what you would wear to the paddock. While Yuki liked showing you off to others, he hated it when people saw how hot you looked, so he would always stand in front of you protectively. The funniest thing in that aspect is that Yuki could barely cover your breasts with his head since the height difference was just a bit too much than usual. 

Luckily, all four of you landed a few days prior to the race in Miami, which gave you time to recover from the adaption to new time zones. The first two days were always the hardest for you. As soon as you entered the hotel room with Yuki, he just made you lay in bed, not caring about your baggage at this given moment. He just needed to hold you, making sure you were right by his side.

So, this is what you did the following days, just laying in bed, taking walks together by holding hands, always stopping to kiss while you were photographed for most parts of it. So, when you wake up in the early morning of Friday, you know the hard part is coming up. Being a good WAG, looking the prettiest you can, supporting your boyfriend, possibly fighting the team principle again. 

You always hated getting a cab to the racetrack, so you made Yuki drive like a maniac through Miami’s streets and while most would be terrified of his aggressive driving style, you just loved those wild car rides with your boyfriend. Sharing sweet and small kisses whenever you encountered red traffic lights. Nevertheless, one of his hands always to touch your thighs, squeezing you softly to reassure himself that you were there. 

“Babe, why can’t I just quitttt? I want to lay in bed with you all day and just cuddle, making you feel good and have breakfast, lunch, and dinner on our bed” Yuki pouted as he was parking the car directly at the entrance of the paddock. “Well, one of us needs to drive fast cars and it won’t be me because my neck game is by far not as strong as yours” You smirk at Yuki as he almost jumps at you kissing him.

Soon you had to leave the car, journalists tried crowding you as you met up with Michael, his personal trainer. You always felt like a queen going through the paddock, Yuki loved seeing you in heels, making your height even more prominent than it already was. It was one thing that Yuki has always loved about you, your height.

As soon as you got into the motorhome, Yuki basically dragged you along to his driver’s room, claiming to have some privacy with you. Not like you didn’t do that already for the past days, but who would complain to being alone with a Yuki Tsunoda in a small room? Definitely not you, the one who was actively dating the hottest driver on the grid.

As you sat down on the small couch, Yuki made a call to get some food. “Yukinoooo, I am hungryyy and I want cuddles too” You looked at him with the biggest puppy eyes, knowing it works like a charm in your favor every time. “Shhh, I am trying to get us food asap but you need to be a bit patient” And that is the moment where Yuki spoke to someone in Italian for some reason while sitting down on your lap, legs on either side of you while smirking, knowing it always turns you on when he speaks different languages. You put your hands around his waist, looking intensively at him when he put his phone on the coffee table next to you. “Apparently we should have some food within the next 15 minutes, so lots of time to pass while we wait for some carbs” Both of you started giggling all of a sudden, just simply staring at each other, fully in love and awe. ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Plsss give me feedback on it, i just truly need some opinions on my writing, idk why i sometimes feel so insecure but i hope you all love it, especially the Yuki girliesss on here <3 <3 <3 <3

[yannaryartside]

Claire and her patients

And why I think she may harm Carmen

It’s incredible how many stories told by Claire about her interactions with injured people are disturbing in close up. I honestly need someone to put a name to it (like clinical one) because so far, it's just disturbing.

In S3, I thought the show was doing a number that made me see her process the pain after the breakup and work helping others through it. I cared about that; I did. It is difficult not to root for someone in pain. But then it got bizarre the more medical scenes we had. Mainly the one where she committed malpractice

The lacking

When she was telling the story about the girl with a million cuts, you know, a kid she almost killed because of a medical error (one that was actually totally preventable) there are so many things wrong with it. Some audience members have stated that scene was to show that “Claire is not perfect,” but that shit didn’t have that effect on me at all. It was a relief to see other people felt this way, some in this fandom even said it was so unnatural it made them laugh. And I am curious about why that is.

From the beginning, the lack of guilt surrounding the incident has been glaring for me. It's not like we see her break down crying or be afraid of what Carmy is going to think of her as a doctor. She committed malpractice, mistake or not. Doctors go out of business for things that they cannot prevent. They are not ashamed of their work; they are ashamed of the result. That harmed somebody.

I watched a lot of medical-related shit (as I assume most people do). The character Joan Watson in Elementary stopped working as a doctor thoroughly after losing one (1) patient over something she could not predict or prevent. A medical board gave her permission to work, but it was still not enough. She was so afraid of hurting someone else and was so ashamed that she was manipulated by the son of his deceased patient to give him money. In “The West Wing,” Abbey Bartlett was a doctor before being the First Lady, and she had an incident in an operation that resulted in the death of her patient (an infection that got complicated). She defended her work, she is possitive she didn’t make a mistake and we are inclined to believe that because we have seen her character admit to her faults before.

There was no shame in Claire. You can process your emotions however you want, but it would make more sense even if you were defensive. Why did she tell that story…as she was also the victim? Maybe the fact that the story relates to malpractice makes it difficult to say it without sounding bad, but there were better ways to make her empathetic than suspicious.

“I was slammed,” as she could ever justify a mistake as stupid as the one she made. I know understaffing hospitals is a serious issue, and overworked doctors can make stupid mistakes, but she didn’t say things like “I should have seen it” or “I have nightmares about it.” And she told it in a way that seemed like she was expecting Carmy to understand it wasn’t her fault. Even if it wasn’t, doctors would carry guilt about malpractice and the harm they were accomplices of, even if literally no divine intervention could have made a difference. By not allowing Claire this very normal emotion, you are setting her apart to the audience members who are paying attention.

The warning

And then, somehow, the story is more about how young and beautiful her patient was…I am sorry, but that almost felt… fetishizing? It reminded me of those poems people made online about having a story of self-harming: “She was so beautiful in her scars.” Maybe that’s me stretching it.

She also keeps telling the stories of what caused the injuries in the first place, and not ironically, is always people doing something risky/stupid in the first place. She is never seen taking care of a bullet wound or a severe illness suddenly worsening. It’s always people putting their lives at risk.

And that’s an element that terrifies me, thinking of who Carmy is and his gif above. He has self-harming hallucinations, sometimes in the middle of dangerous situations, and his mental condition prevents him from reacting accordingly. He is absent as if he was hight/drunk, but it is his mental illness. It may even be tied to a suicidal underline.

And then you hear this story about a girl that got almost killed by Claire’s negligence; in that moment, she needed help getting better because she had an accident. She was not able to prevent her injury. She was also drunk when it happened, so she had no equipment to react accordingly. She is the equivalent of Carmen.

I need help thinking it is supposed to be a coincidence. These writers are not stupid, even if you could justify how Claire is written as saying, “Carmy is supposed to be in love with the simple” (which is such a lame excuse. People can be simple and interesting).

Wouldn’t it be cruel in hindsight to make Carmy’s true love the one person who also has a story of harming people in similar conditions of danger that he had?

I would like to quote something I read about the scene that introduces us to Claire, the story of “why” she wanted to be a doctor. In most medical-related media, these events tend to be very traumatic to the character, “I lost my mother to cancer and wanted to prevent other people from feeling that pain” “I had to watch my friend dying because she was bleeding and I couldn’t do nothing” is always about preventing someone’s harm, because of empathy. Then you have Claire’s story, quoting This fucking excellent post by

@habaritess

“The graphic injury made her want to understand it. Let that sink in. The other kids were disturbed by the injury and, no doubt, also by the cries of the injured girl. Claire wasn’t. She was mentally disconnected from the scene because her empathy wasn't activated.”(...) She looks at people as a thing to analyze, and she does so in order to get what she wants from them"

I firmly believe this. Shout out to this post by @gingergofastboatsmojito talking about Claire being a benign narcissist. She has created a narrative about herself, and that's why she seems too eager to help people who cannot fend for themselves, people who are sad, lost, and hurt, because she feels her value in it. Heartbreak doesn't make it look cute. That's just another magic trick.

And the worst part, she may be a good doctor 80% of the time, but if you have this incident, there is the possibility that it has happened more than once. Like wtf, she said she was good at “taking care of sad drunk people,” but the moment she had a drunk patient, she actually was unable to provide good care for her. She actively made the situation worse. Her mistake could have been fatal. And she related the whole thing, mentioning how beautiful she was before her accident and how it was so amusing she laughed after because she couldn’t feel the pain. She told that shit like it was amusing. Idk, I have never heard a doctor talking like that.

And now we have a whole season of Carmy thinking Claire is the solution for his happiness, the missing piece, and whatnot. This is unnerving. He will run for her at full speed, call her in a time of need/crisis, and then what? Would Claire's interest/lack of empathy would be finally revealed? Will she steer Carmy in an ever worse direction?